A man is sent to a strange world as a shapeshifter after failing to listen to the internet. He does his best to make the most out of his new life. Although there are some who just can't leave well enough alone.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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OK, I really love this story. It really is unique. You took Lunas eye ball in it for goodness sake and in my opinion Luna is best princess.
(Yes, its coming. There is a rather large BUT. Not Lunas though.)
BUT
The battle with Discord just rubs my rhubarb the wrong way. It really doesn't seem to fit in with the story. It also doesn't feel in character. Remember that I don't have an issue with Luna loosing an eye in her fight, which does feel very much in character, although somewhat violent.
The battle with Discord, in this story, as it stands, (Yes I like commas) feels like stopping halfway through sex, to make pancakes. its simply a WTF moment for me. It simply doesn't fit.
My personal opinion
The Monk
I like the backstory stuff. It's really interesting.
Very nice chapter, once again.:D
7946531 So I reread chapters 11 and 12, and I see exactly what you're saying; I've neglected to give the proper context for why anything is happening. I normally provide exposition through dialogue, but that's dependent on whether it's relevant at the time and if the characters have time to talk about it, ideally I should have done this after the fight but during chapter 12. I forgot. But after talking to Militia for a bit, we've come up with a tentative plan to seamlessly fill in the gaps during chapter 14. Don't worry, I'll make it make sense if it kills me. That's a promise.
(gets to the ending)
reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/wait-what.gif
7947785 This made my day
I have only one thing to say for this 'awakening' type deal thing...
Chekov's gun.
7947785
7947859
Lemme forward a guess here, which will probably be wrong:
He's the King of Monsters. Or maybe he took over a 'ling hive before bringing it down.
7959627 The gun will go off, but I don't follow Chekhov's principle that it has to happen soon. It is a big thing with major repercussions though.
I wouldn't mind other people writing a Sombra like this actually o.o King S is hilarious.
is that something you made up or did you get that somewhere?
that second "and" ruins the flow
seem to
Dayum.
9
All hail King Jekyll anyone?
Ha! Its one of the universe were Sombra is good and Celestia is the bad dude
Damn... So mutch hardship... At least Twilight learned to trust the guys that dont pony meat shield out if habit...