A man is sent to a strange world as a shapeshifter after failing to listen to the internet. He does his best to make the most out of his new life. Although there are some who just can't leave well enough alone.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I can tell whoever wrote the proofreading software I use is an Imperium fanboy. It flagged Abaddon as a misspelling, even after I looked it up to make sure I had it right, but not Failbaddon.
7761951 THATS HILARIOUS!
I can see great things in the future, and bad things.....imma ignore the bad things
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For the characters or style wise?
7764407 the characters, I mean, if the don't find Dopple, he might go viral. And if that happens their all fucked. And I also see Tia getting her ass kicked for being a jackass...No offense to donkeys of course.
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Muahahaha
Decided that post was pretentious and got rid of it
Havent actually read this yet.
but remember, Gameplay and story segregation.
the whole "having to have a main form and only one disguise" thing is gameplay only, same with the water weakness...
you could totally go all shoggoth on people, or, grow extra limbs, shapeshift around attacks, split appart into thousands of flies and sneak about, have some fly down throats and absorb the biomass, then recombine into one or keep multiple bodies, explore the depths of the ocean, Tia might not find you down there...
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Trust me dude, the first thing I did was strip the game nerfing off the character.
I laughed way too long at your suggestion of "going shoggoth on people," thank you for that. You mind if I use it later on?
By the headcannon-lore I'm working with, intelligence is determined by how much biomass the character has, so the flies idea wouldn't work very well. Other than that, spoilers.
Someone make some fan-art of this abaddon please!
The most accurate depiction of us I've seen on this site.
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The fact that you mentioned "the sound of a startled chinchilla" implies you either have/had one, or know someone who does/did. I had to look up the sound myself, because I've never actually been near one in the flesh. I only even know what they are because my mother owned one when she was a lot younger.
Also, they're fucking adorbs. For those who don't know what they are, they're like a very cute rabbit-sized mouse, with a long fluffy tail, and apparently they like to jump on stuff and get into everything.
I was actually extremely saddened and sympathize with Jay at the grave. I has taken a trip to japan when my best friend's health took a turn for the worst and she died. Her last memory was me telling her i would see her in a few months. Carry on my wayward son played at her Funeral
when i start making monster agian Im gonna call YOU for tips.
It wasn't bad but it wasn't exactly good either, in my opinion. I don't know, I just feel odd reading this. Like something's wrong but I'm not sure what. I do know that the MC feels a bit Supra-alpha, and everyone else kind of folds(which is odd) but that's just one issue. I like the idea but I'm just not a fan of the main guy.
That was BEFORE Trump was made president
The feels suckerpunched me in this chapter
I gave it my best shot but I’m just not interested in reading this anymore. Don’t get me wrong here, it’s a good story, but just not my type of writing. I prefer it when stories are drawn out more. This feels like it all took place over a month. If you added in a little more of the rest of the world I might feel more compelled to keep reading. What about the rest of world? Is there a council forming a war plan? Are there spies? What else is going that isn’t just Luna and Jekyll. Maybe it just me and what I am used to reading. Nevertheless, I wish you the best in your writing efforts and I want you to know that I did enjoy what I read. Good luck and happy writing.
Yeah, I'm gonna bow out here. Not a fan of the derailment plus continuity errors keep cropping up.
Eg's: Jekyll showed up after Luna's banishment but was around for events that happened before (Ex: Sombra and the Empire and Nightmare Moon knew his sword and title (but Luna doesn't?)).
Jekyll made the Mikes after Silver died but has had enforcers for the past several hundred years (Mikes are the "base/G.I. model" and Silver's daughter is only in her 20's so that presumably means there were no enforcers prior to maybe 5-10 years ago? Plus in those 5ish years he's been able to specialize the breed to the extent that there are multiple "sub-species," among which is an entire one specialized solely for message running?)
How does he have any knowledge of warfare at all, let alone enough to direct the defensive strategy of a nation about to be attacked by every other nation on the planet, two of whom (Griffons and Minotaurs) could crush them by themselves? He wasn't Blacklight on Earth so he has no human memories, skills, or knowledge except his own and he was an accountant. He also plainly hasn't been eating ponies whatsoever (or he would have magic) so he can't have snacked on their past greatest generals brains for info. So where is Tzu getting all his human tactics and such? He said he only knew the one line from "The Art of War"?
A friendly tip for the future: you said you admire Legionary and his "Viral Unicorn" series. Read his Author's Notes. He has and has had almost every major plot development planned since the start/well in advance. Not even his editor knows what they will be, but he does. Not to say he doesn't or that you shouldn't improvise, adapt, and roll with things but a solid plan beforehand and sticking to that plan helps immensely. See also "Bad Mondays" by Handyman for a great example of a well thought-out, planned, and executed story.
No malice or hard feelings intended mate.
Edit: Looking back, I was loving it right up to the start of chapter 5. The Best Defense and Jekyll personas and their history were vastly more interesting to me.
i didn't know what half of those are, now i'm fucking terrified of Abaddon now. I understand your fear ponies, i would scream and run as well if i saw that in the distance.
7782205
.
I'm proud to say that I know all of these, and each one is disturbing enough on its own, but the fact that you combined ALL OF THEM into a Shub-Neggaroth sized eldritch nightmare that would give H.P Lovecraft a run for his money is whole nother thing in and of itself.
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I want one... just to ride it into a vet clinic and say " Hey doc, I think my dog is sick..."
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Vet looks at your 'dog' "what is wrong with it?"
'dog' sneezes, making the sneeze sound like "HEEEY MACARENA" while growing a forest of tentacles,
Vet looks at you and goes "i think it might have worms"
Yes? You needed me?
So... now I am glad none of the more, risqué pony artists have found this yet, or else we may have seen art of Getting Lucky with certain characters... like Reppy.. seriously though, with a name like Getting Lucky, I am amazed she doesn't have stallions lining up to ask her out.
As if I didnt like thisstory enough, now you got me some 40K referentes
I LOVE IT
I loved this chapter. The family stuff really got to me.
What fuckery is this.
It's like watching a car crash in slow motion.
It's cringeworthy cancer, but I love it.
Madness.
Ponies in bikinis? You do realise they have different anatomy from us, right?
Then again, comon sense in this story seems of secondary importance. Generic angst and anime bitch-smacking-self-deprecating-heroes aside, this whole chapter was with the usual, inevitable amount of imperfections that any author needs to remember to force past and prioritize the overall theme.
All in all, I give it a 7.
I laughed so hard at Jeff and Abadon that I literally shit. Good thing I was sitting on the toilet right then.
I SO have to remember this for my own story.
Also:
It's a personal preference, I am not telling you what to do. Just putting this out there.
I know only two of those, Ultralisk and Scarab, and Aircraft carrier as well.
Lawl.
8947513
Moar lawl.
Oh shit *insert a meme about laughing really hard then thinking about what you just did, here*
By the way finland is pretty chill too...
Hey, I noticed that most sentences ended with a comma instead of a period.
Your last boss sounds like an interesting person I would like to meet..... Maybe.
You know the first couple chapters back when it was a 1000 years earlier I really enjoyed but the chapters after so far have gone so far out to left field I really don't know what to think, it's almost like the first couple chapters were written by somebody different.
9532235
A fair assessment, but it's something to read.
Holy shit
If you think that this is crazy, you should see my CrAzY folder.
Compared to that, this is straighter then a stick
HELL YES!!!!!!
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He didn't make all that military which people fear dissappear you know
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Said military has not won a war in close to a hundred years, not since WW2.
Simply magnificent ♡ Thanks for the chapter
I really loved this chapter. Luna x Jekyll ♡
Loved how Celestia finaly noticed how replacable she is
2 pages now