> Monster is as Monster Does
>  by Weapons_X
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: Rebirth
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Jekyll


I groaned and stretched as I walked into the light of the newly risen sun, though it wasn’t necessary. What passed for my muscles never cramped or weakened unless I ran low on food, but it was something normal people did and helped hide the truth of what I was. My current disguise was a gryphon of my own making, one with enough of a crazy past to cover up anything that might have given me away.

Best Defense, Ponyville’s resident gryphon and all around irritable bastard. I’d made sure to include every wound I’d taken defending the locals, and a few of my own making, as scars across my face and legs. My black fur had lines of angry pink flesh showing, the only visible reminder of the time a young pegasus had decided to crash into the forest and land in a nest of manticores. My salt and pepper feathers were intentionally unruly, as though I had been out all night hunting the hunters of this land. The only spots of real color on my body were the pair of red stripes above my blue eyes and the yellow skin of my talons.

Every inch of my appearance served a purpose, it helped me hide from Celestia. My true form looked nothing like the gryphon I was pretending to be, but Celestia wasn’t looking for a gryphon. She was looking for her arch enemy, she was looking for Jekyll.

The choice of wearing the face of a gryphon was two fold, it gave me a reason to eat meat and the origins of this disguise gave it some sentimental value. Regardless, I’d need to collect my latest bag of trophies and turn them in at city hall. There was good money in monster hunting, even more so when the area you patrolled was more dangerous. I had the Everfree, my job was to provide a monster free perimeter around Ponyville and the surrounding countryside.

Damn did it get lonely though. At least I would only have to hold out for another couple years before she came back, but that memory was painful enough and didn’t linger in the forefront of my mind.

I sighed and spared a glance back towards my increasingly ramshackle cabin, making a note to replace the door frame before the next rain. That cabin and I had history, I wouldn’t let it rot around me.

“Another day, another bit,” I commented quietly as I turned to walk around the side of the cabin, intent on retrieving the proof of my work so I could get paid.


One Thousand Years Ago


“Hey Jack, come on or we’ll be stuck in line forever,” Lauren urged as she pulled me along. I thought about making a joke about reporting her to human resources for harassment, but thought better of it at the last second. Any supervisor that buys half the office tickets to Comic-Con and pays for the flight was above those kinds of jokes.

“Geeze Lauren, what’s the rush? We’re three hours early as it is,” Jerry asked.

“The line started forming yesterday, I’d like to get there before it wraps the rest of the way around the block,” Lauren replied quickly, as though talking faster would get us there sooner.

“You just want to find the Forge World stand before they run out of the new Magnus model,” I accused as my feet finally provided more force than Lauren’s arm and prompted her to let me run under my own power.

“Getting nervous?” Lauren teased.

“You’ve beaten me the last twelve times in a row and I’ve never beaten Jerry, I’m starting to think I need a new army. So no, I don’t have anything to be nervous about,” I snapped a little more harshly than I had intended.

“Someone’s getting frustrated,” Jerry noted mockingly, “But I get it, no one likes getting tabled in the third turn. Sometimes the cool looking ones just don’t pull their weight in game.”

“Don’t I know it,” I sighed as we slowed to a stop next to the rows of vendors outside the convention hall, “So aside from model hunting, is there anything else on our list?”

“I’m looking to get some pics with the cosplayers, maybe check out what bands are going to be playing tonight,” Jerry replied.

“I’m going to grab us a spot in line, drop by when you finish wandering so I can find some grub,” Lauren added, prompting me to nod before we all went our separate ways. Then I was alone in the crowd, wandering aimlessly but happy to be in the nexus of nerdom even if I was just in the parking lot.

I felt something impact my back and struggled to maintain my balance as whatever had hit me held onto the sides of my head and steered me around in the packed market. When I managed to get free, I turned to face my attacker and lost all traces of anger when I saw him. I didn’t know anything about the man, but I liked his sense of humor already. I was staring down at a midget dressed as a Jockey from ‘Left 4 Dead’ as he clambered back to his feet and ran off in search of his next victim.

I chuckled to myself as I walked away, quietly checking my pocket to make sure my wallet was still there. It was.

“Dude, are you okay?” a man next to me asked, having seen the display.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Guess we need to watch out for more than the Deadpools this year, eh?” I joked, showing a genuine smile. The stranger nodded and looked around at the sound of another congoer being attacked as I continued on my way into the forest of tent-like merchant stalls.

“Psst, digging the jacket. Maybe I have something to make it stand out a little more, stranger?” one of the vendors breathed, though I heard it as clearly as if he had been speaking normally in an empty room. Turning my head towards the sound, I nearly laughed again when I saw who it belonged to.

The Resident Evil Merchant, straight out of the meme, was hunched over a table’s worth of props and outfit accessories. I’d read the Creepypastas, heard the rumors. Apparently this guy was supposed to have the perfect addition to any cosplay outfit, but any unwitting passerby that actually buys anything is never seen again. Not that I put much stock into rumors.

“What?” I asked, wondering what exactly the vendor was talking about.

“All you’re missing is a tribal design on the back and a hood, but perhaps you could get by with these,” the merchant tempted as he slid a surprisingly high quality pair of rubber sleeves my way. The sleeves were fashioned to look exactly like the claws in that old video game, Prototype. I recalled it fondly, remembering the sense of power it gave the player and the freedom to be the horror movie villain turned hero of New York. At least until the sequel ruined it.

“Not in costume man. My friends and I just came from the airport and I haven’t found a spot to store it yet,” I responded honestly, grateful for the reminder that I was begging for heatstroke in my current condition. Wearing a thick leather coat during a California summer was a little much for even my Arizonian blood.

“The convention hall has air conditioning, you should be fine once the doors open stranger,” the vendor advised, “But back to business, you’re only twenty dollars away from having a costume of your own. Might even be enough to keep that gremlin off your back.”

“Hamming it up much? Or are you going for one of those meta things where you pretend to be the actual character from the stories?” I asked plainly, finding this whole encounter amusing.

“Stories are interesting things aren’t they? Twisting and weaving their way through our lives, shaping us as much as we shape them. Fifteen dollars, final offer,” the merchant continued, unfazed by my accusation.

“Fifteen? Now you’re messing with me, there’s no way you can afford to throw away props like that for fifteen bucks,” I rebuked, crossing my arms.

“I have a printer in the back, should only take another three conventions to pay off at the rate I’ve been going,” the vendor replied with a shrug, dropping his act for the moment.

“Now it makes sense. Alright, I’ll take them,” I agreed, finding the price too low to pass up and the merchant’s reasoning sound.

I handed the costumed man three fives and took possession of my new props. I knew I’d be the butt of plenty of jokes for buying such an outdated costume, but I knew it would be in good humor and give us a talking point for years to come. We still made fun of Jerry for owning a blow up doll, even if it was a gag gift he’d gotten at a White Elephant party.

The left arm slid over my own easily, revealing that the inside had been dusted with talcum powder for this exact reason. It would be harder to get off, but I had a bottle of Remington oil in my bag that would make short work of that issue. Gun oil fixed everything.

The right arm was more difficult, mainly because I had to use my non-dominant hand to put it on and that hand was already covered by rubber claws. I felt a sting of pain just as I got the sleeve to my shoulder, but didn’t think anything of it until I looked down at the result of my work and noticed I could see through a number of holes in my arms. It was as though they really were made of interwoven tendrils...and some of them were pulsing a deep red.

“Oh, I fucked up,” I managed before the world around me vanished.

When I regained consciousness, I found myself lying on something soft. My immediate assumption was that I had passed out from the heat and had since been taken to a hospital, but that theory was dashed when I opened my eyes and saw the canopy of a forest high above me.

“Shit,” I swore, summing up my predicament fairly well. My voice was more guttural and deep than I was accustomed to, almost growling. Figuring I’d have to get up and look for help at some point, I sat up and pressed my hands to the sides of my head in an effort to think more clearly. Or rather, I pressed my claws to the sides of my head.

I roared in shock and fear, scaring myself with the sound that tore from my throat in place of a scream. I was on my feet and staring at the offending appendages in an instant, clueless about how to proceed with this most recent development in how screwed I was.

“Nonono, I don’t have claws, I’m not supposed to have claws. Hands, I have hands, I want my hands back!” I cried, sending birds flying for calmer perches. I shook my claws ineffectually, hoping that somehow I could pull them off like a pair of gloves. I spent longer than I should have on that idea before I fell back into a seated position and took several deep breaths in an effort to calm down.

“Okay, this can’t be that hard. Prototype arms, right? Prototype rules then. Mercer learned how to form claws after he killed that one enemy, that doesn’t help. He seemed to be able to change to anything he knows how to make by just thinking about it, that could work,” I rambled to myself as I adjusted how I was sitting and held my claws up in front of my face. They were almost long enough to scrape the ground when I walked and looked incredibly sharp, it was a wonder I hadn’t cut my head open a few seconds ago when I woke up.

“Just imagine having hands, sounds so much simpler when there isn’t evidence to the contrary right in front of you,” I complained. I knew it was useless and self pitying, but I felt the need to vent and there was no one around to hear me anyway. After several minutes of sitting there recalling every detail of the hands I’d had before I woke up in this place, the claws in front of me broke apart and reformed into the familiar fingers I’d wanted.

“Alright, now we’re getting somewhere. What else is different?” I wondered as I looked down at myself. My shirt was gone, revealing a much more toned frame than the one I had before. It wasn’t particularly muscular, but the signs of aging I’d been affected by were gone. It’d been five years since the last time I’d had abs. Looking past my torso, I found that my jeans had somehow survived the transition but my shoes had not. My feet looked normal save for the charcoal black skin and inch long, hooked talons extending from every toe.

“As freaked as I am, that’s pretty cool,” I allowed, standing again and taking a few experimental steps to determine if I’d need to fight my feet. As I walked I noticed an error I’d made with my hands, they had returned to my normal skin tone. The human skin coloration of my hands didn’t extend past the halfway point of my forearm, giving me a mismatched look. It took me another three minutes to fix that mistake, during which time I decided not to bother with my feet.

“At least it’s getting easier,” I commented before realizing how little I had accomplished, “So what’s my next course of action? Damnit, I’m used to the desert, all these trees are going to make navigation impossible.”

I doubted there was any help coming, and I didn’t have any attachment to this spot, so I picked a direction and started walking, hoping to find either civilization or a stream where I could set up camp. I found both, for better or worse.

I caught the sound of babbling water in the distance and adjusted my course to head for the sound, resolving to set up a campsite and explore my surroundings from there. However, I also found a white horse crossing the stream, seeming to be heading towards the direction I had come from.

“Not much out there but more trees, at least as far as I saw,” I advised pointlessly. I was just glad to have something to talk to other than myself for a moment. To my surprise, the horse stopped and turned to regard me with confusion in its eyes, “Yeah, I know the feeling. I’m lost too. If you stick around, I’ll get you home when I find a town...if I find a town.”

“I’ve heard enough demon, you will not harm my ponies,” the horse declared sternly.

“You can talk? Shit, I’m either going crazy or I’m even further away from home than I thought,” I commented.

“Now you’re calling me stupid? I’ll have your head for this!” the horse declared loudly.

“Woah, chill out. I’m not calling you anything, I’m just saying that I’m lost and could use some help,” I corrected defensively, holding up my hands in surrender.

“More lies, demons don’t get lost,” the horse spat as a horn in the middle of its forehead that I hadn’t noticed started glowing. I clumsily dodged the fiery attack that followed and fell into the shallow stream.

“What the fuck? Is this how you greet everyone?” I asked pointedly.

“Just monsters. Your kind aren’t permitted in Equestria, you must be returned to Tartarus at once,” the unicorn declared as it charged another attack. I didn’t have anywhere to go, I would have to clamber up either bank to escape the conflagration and the water was too shallow to provide any protection.

“Please,” I begged, fearing for my life for the first time. My attacker scoffed and spread a pair of brilliant white wings as a lance of fire speared my chest. I fell back into the stream and cried out in pain, soon going limp as I assumed I was dead.

My eyes unfocused as a dark shape blocked out the sun. It wasn’t my murderer, this one was shaped like a human but bathed in shadow. Its glowing eyes seemed to radiate contempt as it stared at me and uttered a single command before vanishing into so much smoke, “Get up already.”

I found myself alone when I picked myself up and crawled up the bank of the stream, collapsing into the sand at the top and shivering in distress. I was covered in mud and algae, but my attention was drawn instead to the lack of a hole in my torso.

“H-How? Ah, that’s right, Mercer barely took damage from getting shot, I must have the same ability,” I reasoned breathlessly before finding several faults in my comparison, “But Mercer didn’t have black skin, makes me wonder what else is different from the games.”

I surveyed the area for threats before crawling back to the stream and looking down at my reflection. Most of my facial structure had remained in some form, but everything had an alien look to it. The skin was the same charcoal black as the rest of me, the only variations being my red irises and the red streaks running through the mess of tendrils coming out the top of my head.

“Tendril...dreadlocks?” I asked, confused but not displeased with the look. However I didn’t like the fact that the sclera of my eyes, while usually white, matched the black of my skin. I made a note to change that as soon as I figured out how.

“Well now what do I do? I’m like a start of game character, therefore I should eat things to get stronger...but that means murder...No, I’m not going to be the monster she thought I was. I won’t kill for selfish reasons,” I vowed as I climbed confidently up the bank once more and started collecting branches to make a makeshift shelter.

It was weeks before I met another denizen of this strange land, and again I was attacked without provocation. On the flipside, I could now say with certainty that it didn’t matter where I was hit. The arrow had pierced my eye and exited through the back of my skull, but I only recognized that the orb had stopped functioning. There was no pain as I reached up and pulled the arrow out, finding it bloodless.

“I’m getting pretty tired of people attacking me for no reason, maybe we could talk this out like normal people,” I called into the forest, though I didn’t expect a response.

To my surprise, another mythical creature emerged from the canopy and set down on the forest floor before me. A gryphon, half cat and half bird of prey, stood proudly with a bow and quiver slung across its back and a sword held low in a talon.

“You speak as though you intend no harm, be this true?” the gryphon challenged through his, and he was definitely male, thick accent, unmoving and seemingly unafraid.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, I’m just trying to get by,” I responded sincerely, offering my open hand in a proper greeting. The gryphon jumped and raised his weapon, but seemed to relax when he recognized the gesture. I smiled when the gryphon stepped forward and gripped my hand with a talon.

“Friedhelm, hunter of monsters and protector of Everfree City,” the gryphon introduced.

“Jack, recently dropped on this world by things I don’t understand,” I replied in turn.

“On this world?” Friedhelm repeated, sounding confused.

“Yeah, gryphons only exist in myth where I’m from. I have to assume I’m not there anymore and have no way to get back to my people, I’m stuck here and have to figure out how to get by,” I explained as best I could.

“A fascinating tale, but beings similar to you have been seen before. We know them as demons, they are vile creatures and must be destroyed. Though I don’t believe you to be among their number; you are quick to speak and slow to violence; quite the opposite of demonkind. As fantastical as your story is, I cannot refute it. I believe you,” Friedhelm responded after taking a moment to think.

“Thank you,” I replied gratefully, releasing a sigh of relief that there was at there was at least one reasonable person on this planet.

“You said your name was Jack? You are no monster, I shall remember that during my hunts in the future,” Friedhelm promised.

“Wait, can’t you take me back with you? I’m sure I could just expl-” I began.

“Only sanctioned species are permitted within the pony capital, and even they are distrusted and discriminated against. My family and I will be leaving at our earliest possibility, but you would be struck down by the queen herself if her guards failed to kill you the instant you set foot within the walls. She has no tolerance for anything that might threaten her subjects, both of us falling under that description,” Friedhelm interrupted before looking away, as though seeing past the trees, “I am a woodworker by trade, I made toys for the young of my village. Ponies care not for gryphon toys, I was forced to take this job instead.”

I felt my expression harden, “Tell you what Fried, you’re the closest thing I have to a friend around here. If you need help with anything, I’m camped by the stream.”

“I thank you, but it is too late. My hands are too damaged from fighting beasts to hold a chisel steady, my career is over,” Friedhelm sighed. I felt a surge of anger at Friedhelm’s words, anger and a drive to set things right.

“You said there’s a queen in that city making these insane laws?” I confirmed rhetorically, “I’ll have a chat with her and see if I can change her mind. What’s her name?”

“Gaining an audience with the white alicorn Celestia is no easy feat for even her chosen, much less one who would be executed on sight,” Friedhelm responded seriously.

“The fuck is an alicorn?” I asked, a cold chill creeping up my spine.

“They are blessed with both flight and magic, but are incredibly rare and rumored to be immortal,” Friedhelm elaborated.

“Shit, I’ve already seen her definition of hospitality,” I swore, recalling the horse creature that had attacked me.

“Then you were the one creating all that noise a few weeks ago? You caused quite a panic in the city, the locals believed a great beast was coming to destroy them,” Friedhelm chastised.

“It was my first day, I’d like to think I was understandably freaked out,” I countered dryly.

“I do not blame you, but I cannot say the same for the ponies. Everfree City has hardened their hearts and left them as cold as the void with the Nightmare’s passing, they will hold this grudge for the rest of their lives,” Friedhelm advised.

“Then they aren’t worth my time,” I spat, glaring in a random direction in the hopes that I was at least close to impressing my ire of the city, “As I said, I’m camped by the stream if you ever need anything.”

“The stream closest to the city runs for miles in both directions, can you show me where specifically?” Friedhelm requested.

“You were hesitant to accept my help before, what changed?” I asked, gesturing for my companion to follow me as I turned to walk towards my makeshift home.

“Truth be told, my family’s future is uncertain. The ponies tolerate us, but the forest tolerates none and Everfree City is dying. Celestia has denied all efforts to repair that which the Nightmare destroyed, forcing many from their homes and the city as a whole. Dozens leave every day, soon I will be alone with my wife and daughter. We will not survive long,” Friedhelm confessed.

“What? Why? Can’t you go with them?” I suggested, shocked by the gryphon’s prediction.

“We have little money, we cannot afford to abandon our home and purchase a new one. A pony could appeal to his fellows and arrange their help in building a new house, but I will have no such luxury,” Friedhelm continued, “It occurs to me that I am burdening you with my problems, for that I apologize. It has been many months since I have spoken to any that would listen.”

“No worries, you needed to vent. As for your family’s survival, I can build a simple house,” I offered.

“I mean no offense, but you seem more than a little thin to be performing labor of that magnitude,” Friedhelm pointed out. I had gotten a feel for my strength as I set up my campsite and knew I was several times stronger than when I was human. I silenced Friedhelm’s concerns when I lashed out and struck a tree in passing, splintering the foliage and causing it to fall, “I retract my statement and send a thanks to the gods that you are this amiable.”

“I needed more firewood anyway, that and food,” I replied with a shrug as I lifted the felled tree onto my shoulder and navigated it past its fellows.

“What do you eat?” Friedhelm asked, a touch of nervousness in his voice.

“I found this big lizard thing with a bunch of heads, I’ve been eating that since yesterday but I don’t trust it not to spoil soon,” I answered with another shrug, “The weird cat things taste the best, I’m hoping another one of them tries to eat me.”

“You’ve killed a hydra and enjoy the taste of manticores, you are a frightening individual Jack,” Friedhelm commented.

“Nah, Celebitch is scary, I don’t attack people for being different,” I corrected.

“Then what are you?” Friedhelm wondered, leaving the question open as though he didn’t understand it himself.

“For now, I’m a friendly hermit willing to offer a helping hand. Is that enough?” I offered, hesitant to reveal my full abilities or suspected viral nature.

“I suppose it will be, thank you again,” Friedhelm replied with a bob of his head, the slight bow looking especially avian.

“Well we’re here,” I announced when we reached the stream a minute or so later, revealing my fire pit and a single stake jammed into the bank.

“Quite...simple,” Friedhelm appraised, visibly searching for something to complement.

“It’s pretty spartan, I know. At some point I’ll expand it and add a proper shelter, maybe a full on cabin. My lean to blew away during the first storm so I dug a pit to hide in when the weather turns, it’s under that pile of branches. But that won’t do for the long term, it’s just a stopgap I’ve been forced to use,” I responded.

“Thank you for showing me this place, I’ll return periodically to talk more. You have my word that we shall speak again and I will offer whatever help I may provide during the construction of your home,” Friedhelm promised, sounding genuine.

“Alright, you take care of yourself Friedhelm,” I bid, recognizing the farewell.

“To you as well Jack,” Friedhelm replied as he walked back into the thicket and disappeared.

Friedhelm didn’t return to my campsite, he never got the opportunity. Three days after my meeting with the gryphon, I heard the sounds of combat and a shrill cry of pain in the distance. Instinctively, I rushed to see what was happening and hopefully prevent any deaths. What I found instead was a half dead Friedhelm and a mess.

The gryphon’s bow was broken in half and his arrows lay scattered around his prone form, his sword had been shattered halfway up the blade and remained useful only as a knife. The gryphon himself was in ruins, three large diagonal cuts opening his chest and stomach. His life had been shortened to seconds by one blow.

“Holy shit, Fried!” I cried as I sprinted to the gryphon’s side and tried in vain to stop the bleeding.

“Never...seen...that...before,” Friedhelm managed haltingly, coughing up more and more blood with every word, “I didn’t even scratch it...honorless way to die.”

“Hey. Hey! Stay with me Fried, you’ve got a little girl who needs you,” I snapped, slapping the gryphon as his eyes drifted closed. Friedhelm’s eyes opened again with a start, “I’m not going to lie to you, you’re going to die. But you can still save your family, I’ll honor our deal but I have to know where to find them.”

“Do your people know of honor? No, frivolous question, of course they do. I am glad to have met you Jekyll, but I regret dying like this,” Friedhelm slurred weakly, ignoring my implied question.

“More than one culture on my world spoke about dying with your knife in the belly of the thing that killed you, about how that was an honorable way to die,” I stated softly, indulging my friend during his final moments. I saw now that he was in too much pain to think past his rapidly approaching demise, all I could do was end that pain a little sooner.

“We gryphons have the same,” Friedhelm agreed, looking confused when I picked up his broken sword and placed it in his grip.

“Then that’s how you’ll go, an honorable death for an honorable man,” I declared as I jammed the jagged edge into my stomach, “I’ll find Everfree City and make sure your wife and child are able to live in peace.”

“I thank you Jekyll, you would make a good gryphon. Better than me….I’m ready, help me meet my ancestors, would you?” Friedhelm requested. I did my best to make his death painless, not that it was difficult with his beating heart open to the air and already hemorrhaging his lifeforce from several cuts before I cut it free and ended Friedhelm’s suffering.

Thinking back on what I knew of history, it would probably be important for me to take the remains of Friedhelm’s sword back to his family. Any further speculation was halted when a tendril lashed out of my chest and speared into Friedhelm’s body of its own accord. I balked at the scene and tried to back away, though this only resulted in helping the tendril pull the body against my chest to be absorbed. The worst part was when Friedhelm’s head disappeared into my flesh, as a skull splitting headache accompanied it.

Thousands of scenes flashed through my mind much too quickly to comprehend, every one of the gryphon’s memories forcibly added alongside my own. I was left panting for breath when it ended, but I knew now where I had to go and how this world worked. I examined the new memories as I walked away from the bloody scene with naught but a broken sword to show that Friedhelm had ever been there at all. Some of the memories seemed damaged, out of focus, the most irritating of which was the one right before his death. I couldn’t see what had killed him, but that wouldn’t stop me from hunting that beast down and making it pay for its crimes.

I didn’t bother stopping at my camp and continued right past it as I traced a straight line towards the city gate, the broken sword held intently in my hand. I found two ponies guarding the gate, they were smaller than the white one had been and didn’t have horns but they were armed with spears.

I had an idea now of what actually damaged me, the crazy mare’s fiery magic had hurt but the blade and arrow had not, it was about the destruction of my cells. By that reasoning, I had nothing to fear from the guards. With that confidence bolstering my resolve, I ignored their orders for me to stop and continued into the sharpened steel. I felt the spears puncture my skin and break off as I passed the guards, but didn’t care about anything beyond my mission.

“How many times am I going to have to kill you?” a snide voice demanded.

“I have no intention of fighting Celestia, I’m just here to deliver a message and then I’ll leave,” I promised, unable to keep the somber inflection from my tone.

“Aww what’s the matter? Are the bigger demons picking on you again?” Celestia mocked with false sympathy.

“If you must know, a friend of mine just died. I’m here to inform his widow and child that he won’t be coming home, and give them his sword,” I allowed, feeling my patience wear thin.

“Horseapples, you don’t have any friends,” Celestia insisted, “And even if you did, anypony that would call you a friend deserved whatever they got.”

I had been raised with traditional American values, respect your elders, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, don’t hit women, but there was a limit to how much I would take before those values stopped applying to whoever was taunting me. Celestia had found this limit.

My fist found her before she could deliver her next insult, the strike sending her sprawling and causing all of the ponies in the street to gasp in surprise. I hadn’t felt anything break, but I could see from the alicorn’s expression that I had rattled her in more ways than just her teeth.

“Fried was a good gryphon, he fought and died to keep all of you safe from the dangers of the forest even though none of you appreciated him or the toys he made. Listen well Celestia, you can talk shit about me as much as you want but I will not let you slander a good man,” I seethed, grabbing the alicorn by the throat and growling my anger into her face.

“You are not welcome here, deliver your message and get out,” Celestia ordered, clearly trying to preserve some illusion of control.

“I already told you that was my intent. Get the fuck out of my way,” I spat as I fixed my posture and walked away with false confidence. Dealing with Celestia had been the easy part, it was Friedhelm’s wife, Sigrid, that had me worried.

I noticed that I had gathered a sizable crowd by the time I reached Friedhelm’s house, even Celestia glared silently as a thin trickle of blood leaked from where I had split her lip. It was time. I steeled my resolve and approached the door as though it was more dangerous than anything I had encountered in the forest.

I wasn’t met by Sigrid when finally I knocked on the door, instead it was a much smaller gryphon that answered and looked up at me in wonder.

“Hello?” the child greeted unsurely.

“Hey there, you must be Freydis. I’m a friend of your father’s and just stopped by to drop something off for him, is your mother home?” I asked gently, kneeling to talk to Freydis on her level.

“Uh-huh,” Freydis replied before turning inside with a call of, “Mommy, there’s some…thing at the door for you.”

Sigrid was less polite than her daughter, though this likely had more to do with the mix of blood  and flour staining her feathers than anything else. I must have interrupted her while she was making her family dinner.

“Do I know you?” Sigrid asked pointedly, looking past me at the gathered ponies and scowling in their direction.

“We’ve never had the chance to meet before now, but it was inevitable. Friedhelm tried to kill me a few days ago and we got to talking after he failed, eventually becoming something like friends. I promised him I’d help all of you get set up with a house after you left Everfree City and he in turn promised to help me build mine in the forest, at least until I could move out of there and find somewhere peaceful,” I began.

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming,” Sigrid stated impatiently, “If you had a falling out and are coming to kill me, just do it already.”

“No, that’s not...Freydis, maybe you should go inside,” I hinted, spotting the child peeking out from between her mother’s forelegs.

“Anything you can say in front of me, you can say in front of her,” Sigrid snapped.

“She shouldn’t hear it from me,” I insisted, finally getting the pieces to fit in Sigrid’s mind.

“Go inside honey,” Sigrid instructed numbly, lightly pushing her daughter away from the pain she was about to endure and closing the door, “How?”

“Something big, I haven’t seen claw marks like that before. I’ll find it and bring it down, you have my word,” I vowed seriously as I held up Friedhelm’s broken sword.

“Thank you for returning this, though I don’t know how much good it will do us now...I-I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I want to curl up and cry but all I can think of is Freydis,” Sigrid confessed quietly, her voice bordering on a whisper.

“I don’t know much about this world but on mine we honor promises made to dead men, I’ll help you both however I can,” I promised.

“You obviously don’t know much at all or you’d know gryphons don’t want or need any help from anyone,” Sigrid snapped, releasing her grief through anger.

“I’ll be around anyway, just in case you change your mind,” I replied. Sigrid punched me in the face hard enough to turn my head, then screamed and tackled me. Punches rained down, but I felt no pain as the gryphon vented her sorrow. Two ponies appeared and grabbed Sigrid’s arms as they tried to pull her off, “No! Let her hit me if she wants, it’s fine.”

Everyone froze at my words, not comprehending why I would allow such a thing to happen if I was some evil monster from the forest.

“Why?” Sigrid asked after a moment to regain her breath.

“Because you needed it and I’m not the kind of asshole that would stop you. It didn’t hurt anything but my pride, so feel free to let it out,” I allowed.

“No, I’m done,” Sigrid declared before retreating back into her home. Even Celestia looked shaken by the display, her confidence in her hatred of me shattered.

“Time to leave,” Celestia reminded me, though her voice had lost all of its previous malice.

I didn’t speak as I was escorted out of the city and back to the forest, there was nothing to say. All I had now was one simple purpose, keeping those two gryphons safe. I thought about my motivations as I waited in the treeline for the sun to set, finding that my promise to Friedhelm wasn’t wholly responsible. Nor was it the lingering memories of them I had gained from him, as fractured and hazy as they were. No, my motives were far simpler: I had no other reason for being.

That was enough for now, I’d figure the rest out later. With my mind made up and clear to me, the hours until night fell passed that much quicker. I slipped over the wall as the guards changed shifts, leaving no trace that I had passed and none aware of my presence. I slipped between alleyways and rooftops silently and smoothly, only stopping when I had a clear view of Sigrid’s house.

The lights were still on and I could see two shadows of vastly different heights somewhere inside, though they appeared to be preparing to go to sleep. I watched the shadows and the surrounding area like a hawk, taking comfort in knowing I had a purpose and fulfilling it. I saw both shadows move to the right side of my view and the lights grow dim, signaling their departure from the waking world.

It was the new shadow moving from left to right that alarmed me. Why? Why would there be an intruder? I hadn’t expected anything to happen, I was just watching over them to feel useful. It didn’t matter, I wouldn’t let them die tonight.

I broke the roof I had been perched on when I kicked off and launched myself across the street, hitting the ground and immediately losing my footing. I tumbled across the street before catching on an abandoned cart and rebounding through the window I had been aiming for. By sheer force of luck, I managed to crash into the shadowy figure. The intruder never saw me coming, the only warning he got was the cracking of timbers across the street before the window exploded and I slammed into him. The pegasus’s surprise was clear on his face for the scant seconds it took me to roll across the room and pulp him against the cobblestone chimney, my claws forming as another pony yelped in alarm and sprinted out the front door.

I chased the other intruder into the street and tackled her as well, cutting off her scream with the rest of her head. I had been too slow, the damage was done. Lights flickered into existence all around as the short scream woke the neighborhood.

I growled at the sight and leapt onto a nearby roof, disappearing into the night but staying close enough to react if anything more happened around Sigrid and Freydis. I was glad I did when the short investigation led the growing mob of scared civilians to their house and the other body I had been forced to leave there.

“Murderers!”

“I knew we couldn’t trust predators like them!”

Cries of condemnation rang out, pinning the blame squarely on Sigrid and Freydis. How anyone could blame something like this on a child, I didn’t know and didn’t bother to find out. I knew enough of my capabilities to make a difference, that was what mattered.

“ENOUGH!” two voices roared, only one of them mine. Celestia landed in the middle of the mob at the same time as I crashed into the ground between the terrified gryphons and the crazed ponies.

“What is going on here? Why has that thing come back? And why, above all else, are you making this awful racket at two in the morning?” Celestia demanded of the crowd, finding no answers. It was also closer to midnight, but I was more focused on protecting Sigrid and Freydis.

“Intruders,” I growled, head low and claws bared. Those few that had remained even remotely near Sigrid and her daughter scurried away to find safety among the rest, “Two on them, armed. They are dead, killed by my claws for their attempt on these two.”

I had no idea if they had been armed, but there was no way to prove they hadn’t been; given all the ponies trampling the scene. In truth, I had only vaguely noticed that the both of them had been wearing black cloaks.

“Then you were already here, after I told you to leave,” Celestia spat.

“I don’t care about your orders and decrees, I don’t belong to you. I made a promise and I will keep it,” I replied, my tone even though still growling.

“Oi, I know you,” a voice I didn’t know commented, drawing my attention and Celestia’s by extension. It had an odd accent, like half drunken british man,  “I know this mare, ‘er name’s Fleetfoot. She’s a regular down in the deep dark. Thief, if’n you can call her piss poor performances thievin’. I’d bet me weeks pay the otha one’s her good fer nothin botha’ too, the two of ‘em always got booked together.”

Thieves, I’d executed thieves. I could live with that.

“Silence, you fool. Nopony cares who they were or what crimes they committed, they will live on as this monster’s victims. See, it doesn’t even care that they’re dead, that they’ll never make another pony smile. Look at its smug face, it’s enjoying this,” Celestia retorted, raising her voice to stir the crowd.

“Is this how you want to play it? Paint me as the monster for trying to do the right thing? I’m weak now but I’ll only get stronger Celestia, it would be wise to make me your friend,” I advised, noting that Sigrid and Freydis had disappeared back into their house and moving slightly to block the way to their door.

“If it bleeds, it can die. I’ve hurt you before, therefore you’ll go down with enough effort,” Celestia remarked as she backed into the mob and let them surge forward. This was insanity, could none of them think for themselves and see what was happening? I’d called her out right in front of them and they still attacked in her name.

I didn’t know what to do, Celestia had trapped me. If I left they would turn their hatred on Sigrid and Freydis, but if I stayed I would be the monster Celestia claimed I was. My mind locked up and I simply reacted, roaring my challenge at them as my claws spread out to either side.

The first rank flinched, their resolve breaking as they recognized the danger and how little chance they had of surviving. The second and third rows collided with and tripped over their frozen compatriots, creating an organic wall of tangled legs and bodies. My eyebrows raised as I appraised the result, finding it better than I could’ve hoped.

With a slightly amused shrug, I turned to follow the gryphons into their home. I found Freydis shivering in fear next to a doorway, her mother on the other side and scooping as much of their belongings as she could into a set of dirty and weathered bags.

“You’re leaving?” I guessed.

“Not much choice now, they’ll kill us if we stay. We stand a better chance in the forest, slight as that is,” Sigrid replied, the anger she had shown earlier missing.

“I didn’t have a choice-” I attempted.

“Of course you had a choice, you could’ve stayed away, you could’ve ignored those...those criminals, you could’ve let them blame us. Believe me when I tell you that I appreciate your choices, but for my daughter’s sake we have to go now,” Sigrid snapped, interrupting me.

“You’ll find the forest to be harmless, I’ll make sure of it,” I vowed.

“Stop promising me things!” Sigrid demanded, her voice becoming shrill as her emotions boiled over.

“Mommy, don’t yell,” Freydis chided in the way children do, “I like...scary guy, he’s nice. Can he come too?”

Sigrid stopped and sighed as she thought, weighing her options and pride, before giving me a hard stare and nodding.

“Yes, that’s our best option. Do you have a name or am I forced to use pronouns?” Sigrid asked, looking out the small window to guess how much more time she would have.

“Jack, but Friedhelm called me Jekyll at the end. I don’t know why,” I replied.

“It means killer, he saw something you’ve proven with how you handled those thieves. It’s a good name, you should keep it,” Sigrid replied distantly, her attention focused on what was happening outside, “Can you fly? Nevermind, stupid question, you don’t even have wings.”

“I probably will someday, but I haven’t figured out how yet,” I responded, confused.

“I don’t-whatever, it doesn’t matter right now. This would be difficult even if you could magically grow wings and fly away. Alright, here’s the plan: you’re going to clear a space in front of the door so I can take off with Frey, then you’ll follow us to the forest. Once we meet up there, we’ll figure out our next step,” Sigrid instructed, finally turning away from the window to collect her bags. She discovered a new problem once she finished loading herself, and me, down with their belongings, she couldn’t carry Freydis.

“I’ve got it,” I declared before Sigrid had a chance to say anything, quickly scooping the smaller gryphon up and placing her on my shoulders.

“Woah, so high,” Freydis commented in wonder.

“Hold on Freydis, and don’t worry about hurting me. You can pull my hair if it gives you a better grip,” I allowed as I stepped toward the door and mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen.

“Just clear me a space and run,” Sigrid repeated, her voice showing real fear as she stole glances at her daughter.

“Don’t worry about us, I’m tall enough to keep her safe,” I reassured her.

“I hope you’re right,” Sigrid breathed before she pulled the door open for me to rush through. I wasted no time bulldozing the first pony I saw into his compatriots, knocking the lot of them back and clearing plenty of space for Sigrid to take to the air and escape. The next attacker was another pegasus and met the back of my hand as I turned to follow Sigrid’s path from the ground.

“Hold on!” I instructed as I kicked off from the ground and landed on the rooftop I had damaged earlier, causing the timbers to shriek in protest as I tested their resilience once more.

The roof buckled as I jumped off, collapsing into the house and throwing off my leap. I still made it to the next roof, but I stumbled and lost much of the speed I had built up. The sound of wings getting closer only added to my current problems, it was time to try a different tactic.

I abandoned my plan of using the rooftops to avoid trouble and dropped back to the street, resulting in frustrated groans from my pegasi pursuers. Though now I had more obstacles to deal with, the fastest of them would have a harder time following me. Time seemed to slow as I looked down the road at the distant gate, seeing everything between where I was and my goal.

I dug the claws of my toes into the cobblestone. My body lowered to reduce drag. I shot forward just as the first of the mob reached me, barely escaping whatever poorly conceived attack they had planned. Carts and ponies alike were effortlessly hopped and dodged as I let my instincts guide my actions, passing the gate and entering the forest bare seconds later.

“Again! Again!” Freydis cheered, giggling madly.

“Maybe later little one, first we need to find your mom,” I replied as I reached up to pull Freydis off my head. I found that not only did she have a grip on my tendril hair, but the tendrils themselves had wrapped around her to help hold her in place. They also weren’t letting go, “Huh, am I squeezing you too tight?”

“Nope, it’s kinda like a wing hug,” Freydis answered.

“Alright, that’s good. Let me know when you want down,” I commented as I looked around for any sign of Sigrid.

“When searching for a gryphon, you should always start by looking up,” Sigrid’s voice advised before the gryphon herself dropped from the canopy and landed in front of us. She paused to take a shuddering breath as everything from the last twelve hours caught up with her, “We made it, gods what a day. You’ve got some sort of shelter, right? Somewhere we’ll be safe while we figure out what to do? Somewhere I can...think privately?”

“I have a hole in the ground and a cooking spit, but it’s safe and I’ll start work on a real shelter as soon as we get there,” I replied as I started walking towards my camp.

“Beh, don’t bother if that’s all you’ve got. It’d make more sense to just set up a permanent spot on the other side of the forest,” Sigrid spat as she took the lead and changed our course to head due east, “And then that’s it right, you’re done?”

“What?” I asked, not understanding.

“You said you’d get us out and keep us safe until we had a new home. Does that mean you’ll wander off as soon as the place has four walls?” Sigrid clarified, seeming angry again for some unidentifiable reason.

“Do you want me to stay? I will if you ask me to,” I offered.

“Well it isn’t like I’ll be able to provide for us, do you have any idea how hard it is for a gryphon to find work? How much harder than that for a hen to do it? It’ll take months for anyone to hire me, and that’s assuming there’s anyone there to begin with,” Sigrid ranted.

“Then I’ll stick around, find a job somewhere and earn an honest living to help out,” I responded easily, as though it was obvious.

“Damn you, why are so bucking nice?” Sigrid snapped.

“Why do you have a problem with me?” I countered, grabbing Sigrid’s shoulder and stopping.

“You have to ask why? Is there something wrong with your head? You show up at my door and tell me...then you save us...and now…” Sigrid attempted, choking on her words as they died in ther throat. I pulled her into my chest before Freydis could see her mother cry, Sigrid in turn doing so silently until she regained control of herself, “We’ll discuss this after I know my baby’s not going to get rained on.”

“Good plan, but I can set up something temporary if you really need to talk,” I offered.

“Shut up and bucking walk,” Sigrid ordered, her anger rising again.

“Mommy, no swearing,” Freydis chided, bringing a thin smile to my face.

Sigrid fell silent as we started walking again, though she seemed to get angrier with every step. By the time we reached the other side of the forest several hours later, her beak was locked in a scowl and the redness of her face was bright enough to be clearly seen through her feathers.

I kept Freydis with me as I brought a few trees down and took them back to the spot where Sigrid had stopped, just in case Sigrid was the type to snap at anyone when angered. Sigrid, for her part, had frozen when we exited the forest, barely nodding her consent when I asked if this was where she wanted to set up.

“You okay Sigrid?” I asked as I brought two full trees back to the site.

“Just overwhelmed. We’re safe and that means I have time to think about everything that’s happened,” Sigrid responded vacantly.

“One bad day is all it takes to change a life forever,” I agreed, nodding.

“You know the feeling?” Sigrid asked, “That feeling that everything you knew is gone, never to return?”

I understood what she was doing, she was deflecting her grief to delay telling Freydis the truth, “I had my bad day a few weeks ago, lost my home, my family, and all of my friends. They’re out there somewhere, but I doubt I’ll ever see them again. Not that they’d recognize me anymore.”

“How did you move on?” Sigrid asked, a note of desperation edging into her voice.

“I gave myself a mission, something to attach myself to and give me purpose,” I answered simply.

“I was overthinking it. I can’t find meaning in something like this, there’s nothing to find. Can you handle things for now? I’m gonna just sit by that stream,” Sigrid requested as she wandered towards a stream in the valley we had found. We weren’t the only ones setting up here, there were plenty of ponies building a small town further away from the edge of the forest.

Though the valley looked idyllic, I could see the raggedness of the other settlers from where I stood. Living this close to the forest hadn’t been good to them. However, I’d be hunting for three now and that might dissuade any predators from wandering too close.

“Why is Mommy sad?” Freydis asked from my shoulders, interrupting my train of thought and bringing me back to the present.

“Change is scary little one, she’s gone from having a predictable life to living out here too quickly,” I lied.

“Is it because Daddy’s not coming home?” Freydis asked, prompting me to turn my head so I could look her in the eyes.

“What makes you say that?”

“He used to read to me about the Knights of Gryphonia, I know what a broken sword means. Did he die well?” Freydis asked, seeming much more mature than her age would suggest.

I sighed and brought a hand up to pat her on the back, “Yeah, yeah he did.”

“That’s good at least, thanks for being honest,” Freydis responded quietly.

“Thanks for putting up with me,” I replied, hoping to lighten the mood.

Freydis fell silent, prompting me to return to working on the cabin. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but I had owned a set of Lincoln Logs as a child and found the shaped logs fit together the same way no matter how big they were. I only stopped then the sun dipped below the horizon, and even then only so the noise of construction wouldn’t keep Freydis awake.

I stood next to my partial construct while Sigrid tucked her daughter in and made sure she had enough blankets to stay warm through the autumn night. For my part, I was thinking and planning. Mentally judging this new area for potential threats and areas where I could hunt without drawing suspicion.

“She’s asleep already,” Sigrid reported as she appeared next to me.

“I’m not surprised, she didn’t get much last night,” I responded, my gaze and thoughts focused on the town growing in the distance.

“She’s taken a liking to you, thinks you’ll keep the bullies away,” Sigrid continued.

“Bullies? Freydis was bullied? How? She has talons and a beak, wouldn’t that be enough to deter anyone from messing with her?” I questioned, caught aback by the offhand statement.

“You must come from a very violent place, neither she nor the ponies think like that. She’d never even think of baring her talons in anger over something so meaningless as teasing,” Sigrid replied, smiling as she glanced back at the sleeping form of her daughter.

“I won’t let any harm come to her,” I repeated.

“I know. You keep saying that and sticking around no matter how many times I tell you off. You’d make a good gryphon, you ignore my stubbornness well enough,” Sigrid commented, giving me an idea I didn’t know how to act on yet.

“What about you, how are you holding up?” I asked, changing the subject to one I thought was more important.

“Not very well, I…” Sigrid began, quickly trailing off as she failed to find words, “I’m grieving, and not just for Friedhelm, I’m grieving for myself as well. And Freydis. All of our lives ended yesterday. I know you suggested focusing on Freydis, but she would barely look at me. I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”

I’d gotten enough of an impression to fully appreciate the gryphon’s candor, and knew that blunt honesty wouldn’t offend her in this instance. It would help guide her, “She’s pissed at you for not telling her the truth. She saw the sword I gave you and expected you to be upfront with her, she’s disappointed that you weren’t.”

“Can your people read minds?” Sigrid asked, no trace of sarcasm in her voice.

“She told me while I was collecting the trees,” I corrected.

“I see. Thank you for telling me this, I’ll mend the situation in the morning,” Sigrid promised before pausing, “Jekyll, can I be completely honest with you?”

“Sure,” I allowed, wondering what was coming.

“I despise you, I hate every part of you with all of my being. I think you killed my husband and I think you’re trying to take his place. And everything you do just enrages me further,” Sigrid replied, her harsh words delivered casually and without anger.

“May I offer a rebuttal?” I requested.

“Only if you speak the truth,” Sigrid responded simply.

“I did kill Friedhelm, but he was already mortally wounded and suffering horribly. He said his biggest regret was dying without managing to harm the thing that killed him, so I helped him stab me and then I pierced his heart. I gave him the death he wanted because it was what I could do. I can never take his place, but I can fill part of the void he left in your lives by providing what I can. I can hunt and build you a new house, keep your bellies full and your feathers dry, but I’ll never be him and I won’t try to be him,” I replied just as casually as Sigrid had been, leaving the gryphon in stunned silence.

Sigrid walked away without a word, though she returned from wherever she had gone to about an hour later with blood weeping from her knuckles, “Thank you for your honesty, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“My only shame is that I wasn’t there to keep this from happening at all, otherwise my conscience is clear and my intentions are pure,” I continued, pretending as though Sigrid hadn’t wandered off to punch trees for an hour.

“I see now why Friedhelm gave you that name, he wanted you to kill him. It’s a warrior’s name, one with a long history of honor and sacrifice. Do you mean to keep it?” Sigrid asked, ignoring my statement.

“I think I will, both as a tribute and because I think I prefer being on the righteous side of Hell,” I replied.

“I don’t know what that means,” Sigrid confessed.

“I’ll explain it later,” I promised, letting our awkward conversation die.

Sigrid spoke up again a few minutes later, “So...I know what I said before, but I gave Freydis all of the blankets. Could I…”

I didn’t bother responding with words, instead I simply sat down and opened my arms. Sigrid looked supremely uncomfortable as she settled in against me, keeping her back against my chest. Once the gryphon was settled in, I brought my knees up on either side of her and closed my arms around her body.

“Warm enough?” I asked, wondering what else I could do to stave off the cold.

“Yes, I think so. Thank you,” Sigrid replied as she shuffled onto her side and promptly fell asleep, the last day having an effect on her as well. I remained awake and alert, not feeling any drowsiness as I kept watch over my self imposed charges.

This was...nice. I hadn’t bargained for any of this all those weeks ago when I had been talked into buying those cursed props, but I could live with it. I hadn’t actually lost that much, just my career, friends, apartment, and one living family member, but I had gained something in return. Sigrid’s anger was already starting to fade and Freydis had already accepted me, maybe I could find a new family here after all.
> Chapter 2: First Steps
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Freydis. Freydis, wake up.”

“Five more minutes,” Freydis groaned.

“You’ll miss breakfast,” I warned.

“Bwaaaah,” Freydis complained as she rolled over and covered her head.

“I guess I’ll just have to eat all this manticore by myself,” I tempted, knowing Freydis’s weak spot.

“Alright...I’m up,” Freydis relented as she sat up.

“Good, you wouldn’t want to be late for your first day of school,” I replied as I ushered Freydis out of her room and into the main room of the cabin. I’d only built three rooms, two bedrooms and a combination of an entryway, kitchen, and living room. Figuring out that I didn’t need to sleep made life a lot easier in that regard.

“Do I really have to go? What could I learn there that’ll help me?” Freydis whined.

“Take that up with your mother, I’m just enforcing her rules,” I deflected, getting a passing nod from Sigrid.

“School is important, not just because of education but because it’s where you’re supposed to make friends,” Sigrid added.

“But these ponies are all dumb and hate me for being a gryphon, why would I want to be friends with them?” Freydis protested.

“Jekyll,” Sigrid said simply, passing the responsibility to me.

“That was Everfree, these are different ponies and I’m sure they won’t be as bad. Besides, you need to have friends or you’ll go crazy like me,” I replied as I willed the tendrils that served as my hair to stand straight up. Freydis giggled at the display and seemed to calm down a little, even starting to eat her breakfast.

We all fell silent as we ate and got ready for the day in our own ways. Freydis grabbed her bag with all the supplies Sigrid had bought for her, Sigrid herself moved to clean the dishes, and I went outside to run the crank that would supply Sigrid’s efforts with fresh water from the well. I couldn’t claim responsibility for that one, a number of ponies had come by a couple days after I finished the cabin and offered to install the system. Sigrid had relented after a hour of discussing the price and was now down to half of her remaining gold coins, but neither of us could complain about the results.

A sharp knock against the wall was my signal to stop the device, courtesy of a hammer Sigrid kept in the kitchen to get my attention with. With a slight effort I stopped the flywheel and reversed direction, sending the water instead to a reservoir in the roof that would heat it for bathing purposes. Once that was full, I departed for the town.

Ponyville, a more self serving or egotistical name I had never heard. Though it would seem to be a trend among all the different species, given Sigrid’s stories about growing up in Gryphonstone. They all knew I was there, even if they didn’t pay any attention to me. They always knew, and it always showed. Smiles flattened, steps quickened, they were afraid. 

I didn’t bother hiding this time, I simply hopped from rooftop to rooftop in plain view of all of them. I’d been doing this more and more for the past week to acclimate them to my presence and help me move freely through the town, though I hadn’t gone down to street level yet.

A full month we’d been living on the outskirts of this town, a full month and we’d gotten a grand total of one group of visitors who then sold us a fancy well. Sigrid’s attempts to ingratiate herself had been met with fear, as the locals associated her with me. She’d told them I was something like a servant and was completely harmless, but none of them believed her. I was different, I was new, and that made me something to be feared. So I wandered within their view but out of their lives, watching Freydis’s interactions at school and the perimeter of the town for something tasty to wander out of the forest.

“Excuse me?” a voice asked. Turning, I found a pegasus perched on the same roof as me. The stallion was a dull grey and had a picture of a pencil on his hind leg, but didn’t seem afraid of me.

“Howdy,” I greeted. There was the fear, it had simply been hidden by a false confidence. To the pony’s credit, he didn’t flee. He managed to remain in place and shakily continue.

“Um, I’m-ah-with the-uh-local paper. Could-um-tell me what you’re doing up here? Please,” the stallion managed to ask, looking ready to have a heart attack at any moment.

“Sure. I made a promise to a dying friend that I would look after his family, they have since moved here so I’m watching over the town in order to keep them safe,” I explained briefly.

“Wha-Wait, is that a fact? So you aren’t the pony eating monster that attacked Everfree City?” the stallion confirmed.

“I have never eaten a pony. But if you’re referring to the time I helped two gryphons escape an insane mob out for their blood, then yes,” I responded, my voice losing its friendly tone as I saw how Celestia twisted the event.

“The princess herself said that you were the aggressor,” the stallion pressed.

“What’s your name?” I asked the instant he finished talking, catching the pegasus off guard.

“Headline, Breaking Headline,” Headline replied on reflex.

“Headline, as a journalist, you should know that politicians lie. I don’t know of any princesses, but Queen Celestia was the one who riled the crowd into a murderous mob. I even called her out on it at the time, but they still attacked. You’re looking right at me, do you really think the reports match what would logically happen if I was the aggressor?” I rebutted, forming my claws to emphasize my point. I returned to having hands before Headline could soil himself, but my objective had been accomplished.

“Princess Celestia isn’t a queen,” Headline corrected, looking shaken by both the logic in front of him and being so close to a threat.

“Take some time to think about it, but I’d also point you towards the sharp drop in animal attacks,” I advised, turning to continue wandering the town.

“Y-Yeah,” Headline replied vacantly as I departed. I thought that went well and may have solidified my place here, pointing him towards the side effect of my hunting the nearby woods would insinuate that I was actively protecting the locals and paint me in a better light. I was that much closer to being able to walk around freely.

A pained grunt caught my attention and drew me towards a part of town I didn’t want any trouble in, it had come from the school. Reaching a roof across the street, I found two female ponies cornering Freydis. The gryphon was bleeding from a skinned knee but staying strong as her assailants hurled insults and accusations.

“Dumb gryphons, can’t even watch where they’re going.”

“Yeah, you better apologize or we’re gonna get you in trouble.”

“You pushed me, why would I apologize?” Freydis demanded, catching sight of me and gaining a bit of courage.

“‘Cause this is a pony town and you’re not a pony, that means you have to be the one to say you’re sorry. We could always get Teacher to make you,” the one on the left, a green unicorn, threatened. 

Freydis caught my nod and called their bluff, “Do it then, she’ll see what happened here.”

The fillies scoffed indignantly and left, faking limps and acting far more injured than reason should allow. Within seconds, an angry normal pony mare stormed out of the small building to confront Freydis. Freydis tried to explain what had actually happened, but it fell on deaf ears.

This was unacceptable. For a teacher, one who was supposed to be a role model for the next generation, to act so biased against one of their own students. The shouting stopped when I dropped off the roof and into the street, shattering their perception of my normal behavior.

“I saw everything, those two are faking their injuries to lay blame for their own actions on her,” I informed the instructor, pointing first at the two fillies and then at Freydis, “But your reaction is why I stepped in, will you now be as harsh towards the real troublemakers?”

“I-Well, no, I won’t,” the teacher confessed, looking both taken aback and slightly ashamed.

“Because gryphons aren’t worth as much as ponies in your eyes?” I guessed.

“Maybe your eyes are the ones that need checking, gryphons aren’t built to work land and they can’t perform magic. They’re good for nothing but fighting, they’re shameful compared to us,” the instructor asserted. I was both taken aback and more than a little peeved by her open admission, it reminded me of the racism commonly accepted in the nineteen-fifties. 

“Then perhaps they will leave and allow the monsters of the forest to kill and eat all of you,” I replied, making the teacher choke, “I sure as hell wouldn’t save you. Come along gryphon, I’ll walk you home so none of these ignorant fools get any bright ideas.”

“You can’t just take one of my students away, that’s ponynapping!” the teacher cried, gaining her the attention of the others in the street.

“I’m safer with him than here with all of you specist ponies,” Freydis spat as she moved to stand next to me.

“You haven’t been dismissed,” the instructor continued, refusing to see how little control she actually held.

“Then do something about it,” I replied mockingly as Freydis and I walked away. I quietly made sure to offer my hand to Freydis while still in their line of sight, allowing the gryphon to climb up my arm and perch in her favorite spot on my shoulder. She somewhat resembled a parrot in the way she sat, her legs folded along her sides and arms low, depending entirely on the grip of her hind claws to remain in place. She’d get tired eventually and settle for hanging from my neck along my back, letting me assist in holding her insubstantial weight, but like this she could see everything that was going on around her.

“Thanks Jekyll, these butts were even worse than in Everfree,” Freydis said gratefully as we rounded the first corner.

“Fuck ‘em, I’m sure your mother will understand,” I replied, though she seemed to grow ever more depressed with every step I took, “What’s up?”

Being Freydis’s friend gave me an insight she would never show a parent. She vented her frustrations and fears freely when talking to me, rather than the tempered respect shown towards her mother, “I was really hoping for better, you know? I didn’t think it could be worse than before, but at least then the teacher just ignored it instead of joining in.”

“Well, I’ll figure something out so you never have to deal with any of that again,” I promised, having no idea of how to accomplish said goal.

“How? You don’t know anything about this world,” Freydis pointed out.

“There are only three real subjects in school: math, writing, and history. I can cover the first two already, but we’ll need a library for that last one,” I replied, a plan forming in my mind.

“What happened to making friends?” Freydis continued.

“They don’t deserve you. Besides, you’ve got me,” I countered, knowing it was a weak argument.

“Mom’s still gonna be mad,” Freydis predicted. I didn’t have any argument against that, I’d gotten to know Sigrid well enough over the past month to know she wouldn’t take this well.

Our journey continued in silence, though I almost spoke up when we passed a newly opened candy shop. I only remained silent because I didn’t have any money to buy Freydis a conciliatory treat with. 

Sigrid looked up from her current project when we walked in, she had been carving away the insides of the logs to create flat walls since the cabin had been built and was covered in enough flakes to show how well she was handling being alone all day.

“Something happened,” Sigrid stated as she brushed the bits of wood out of her feathers.

“Yep, enough for me to justify making an enemy,” I replied as I let Freydis down. The gryphon herself fled to the safety of her room and closed the door, sealing herself away from the expected argument.

“Her father did the same thing in Everfree, said no one, pony or otherwise, should be allowed to treat another like that. I actually agreed, but what choice did we have?” Sigrid sighed.

“Her teacher joined in this time,” I revealed, making Sigrid wince as if struck, “But I’ll figure out a way to fix this, I’ll teach Freydis myself if I have to.”

“Am I a bad mother for thinking that’s a good idea? I don’t want her to be isolated from the world like this,” Sigrid asked plainly.

“No, you’re not a bad mother. We’ll figure out who’s a dick and who’s alright as we go and help Frey make friends with the good ones,” I proposed, getting a shallow nod in return.

“Yeah...Yeah, that works for now. There’s just one thing,” Sigrid began cryptically, pausing as to force me to ask what she meant.

“What’s up?” I prompted.

“We’re not friends and we’ll never be friends, but you’ve basically adopted my daughter. My question is what does that make us? Not us as in you and me, us as in all three of us. Where do you fit in and what are we to you?” Sigrid asked with a harshness she clearly didn’t feel, given the apologetic look that followed.

“I don’t know, adopted uncle maybe?” I offered, brushing off her aggressive tone.

“That’ll work for now as well, we get along about as well as I did with my brothers,” Sigrid allowed, “But being part of our family comes with responsibilities, like making sure we have enough to eat and monitoring our finances.”

“I feel like this is going somewhere,” I predicted, prompting Sigrid to flick me a single gold coin, “What’s this?”

“Our finances, so monitor it,” Sigrid replied sourly.

“How are we down to one bit? You said the well only took half of what we had,” I demanded.

“Look, don’t be mad...but I was robbed when I went school shopping for Freydis. Some scoundrel must’ve taken the bits from my purse without me noticing, because I had them when I walked out of the general store. I found this one on the street afterwards, felt like the world was spitting on me,” Sigrid explained.

“That was two days ago and you’re just telling me now? Damnit Sig, this just complicated everything. I’ll have to get a job in town to start rebuilding this mess, but that’s…yeah, that’s going to come with its own issues,” I responded tensely, becoming daunted at the mountain of issues that were bound to arise.

“None of these ponies will hire you, they’d barely hire a gryphon. It would be marginally easier if you could magically shapeshift like a changeling, but wishful thinking never got anyone anywhere,” Sigrid agreed.

“I actually can shapeshift, that’s the problem,” I began, causing Sigrid’s head to snap up in attention, “But only into things I’ve eaten. On top of that, I’ve never done it before and will need time to figure it out.”

“Things you’ve eaten,” Sigrid repeated, “Manticores and hydras aren’t often seen in the common workplace.”

“It was an accident, more like a reflex actually,” I prefaced.

“What did you-no, no you didn’t! Jekyll, tell me you didn’t eat my husband,” Sigrid demanded, picking up my meaning quickly.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

Sigrid took a shaky breath as her eyes filled with rage, though her next words carried a deadly calm, “He was already dead?”

“Yes, it just sort of happened after he passed,” I clarified.

“You ‘just sort of’, accidentally, stuffed my husband down your throat before his body was even cold?” Sigrid confirmed dangerously.

“No, it-it’s weird. So you know how my hands break into tendrils to form my claws? One of those came out of my chest and absorbed him,” I corrected, taking a step back from the enraged gryphon.

“Get out,” Sigrid ordered as she turned away.

“Sig-” I attempted, understanding her anger but powerless to ease it.

“I can’t look at you right now Jekyll, just-just go,” Sigrid requested without looking back.

“I’ll be in the forest if you need me,” I relented before walking out.

For the next week my only interaction with Sigrid was when I dropped off their share of my hunts, the gryphon looking away every time I emerged from the trees to leave a fresh corpse at their door. 

Freydis, however, was my almost constant companion, returning home only to drop off her kills and sleep. I’d even started teaching her everything both Friedhelm had learned and everything I had discovered while hunting the forest, the signs of manticore tracks along a path and what a cockitrace call sounded like. The young gryphon wisely left the predators of the forest to me, preferring to stalk rabbits and other smaller game.

“I think I need a new spear Uncle Jekyll,” Freydis commented as she looked over the remains of her latest hunt. The fox hadn’t been pierced, but rather broken and torn by her stab. If her angle of attack had been off by any margin, it would’ve just glanced off the animal.

“I think a resharpening will do well enough, though that should be your responsibility. You are only as good as the tools you wield, take care of them and they’ll take care of you,” I chided gently, getting a nod from my new niece as she sat down to sharpen the crude spear into a usable weapon again with a rock. After a few minutes, I reached down and recut the stone blade into shape with a claw, “Now it’ll be your job to maintain that edge.”

“Thanks Uncle Jekyll,” Freydis replied happily as she stowed her sharpening stone and returned to her feet.

“You don’t have to add ‘Uncle Jekyll’ to every sentence,” I pointed out.

“Is it bothering you Uncle Jekyll?” Freydis giggled.

“No, just trying to save you a few words. You only get so many before your voice goes away after all,” I replied, causing Freydis to search my face for signs that I was joking.

“I only get to say so many words? But how do I know how many I get?” Freydis asked, becoming fearful once she failed to find any humor in my expression.

“You don’t, no one does. Some find out, though it’s usually when they only have a few left,” I answered, still maintaining my serious attitude.

“But...Wait a second, I get it now. You’re making a death joke,” Freydis accused, her grin returning as she solved my little riddle, “The people who figure it out are condemned criminals, they know how many words they have left because they get to say a few before they’re executed.”

“Very good, but it could also be the terminally ill,” I corrected. Riddles like these were nothing new, a game my own father played with me to get me to think beyond the obvious.

“You always find another exception though,” Freydis complained, “It isn’t fair.”

“That’s how the game works, you have to figure out what I’m talking about and everything that doesn’t fit. My dad did the same thing to me,” I explained.

Freydis paused for a long moment, her furrowed brow silencing my continued teasing as she thought through something important and difficult to put to words. When she finally did speak up, I was the one who had to think about a response, “Can you be my...pretend dad?”

I took a step back as the words registered and jammed the metaphorical gears of my mind. How was I supposed to take that? She’d only known me for a couple months and wanted me as a father figure? Could I be that kind of role model? 

Freydis looked more and more despondent with every passing second, only halting her withdraw of her statement because of my raised hand.

“That’s a very big question, one I’m not really prepared to answer, and one I wasn’t expecting you to ask. I get the need for a male figure in your life, that’s a small part of why I spend so much time with you, but to ask me to be your stepfather so soon after meeting me? That caught me off guard,” I explained.

“Not for gryphons, I had a friend back home that got a new daddy just a few weeks after losing his real one. I took extra time to think about it,” Freydis countered.

“Yet another thing I didn’t know, sometimes I wonder who’s teaching who here. But if that’s the case then you can call me whatever you want, as long as it isn’t a bad hunter,” I allowed as I pulled Freydis into a hug. I didn’t really feel it, but it was important to her and all I had to do was answer to another name.

“Mom’s gonna be pissed,” Freydis warned.

“Then just say it out here, so she doesn’t have to deal with the added stress,” I suggested, wincing as I remembered how I had ended up living out here, “And watch your language.”

“You don’t,” Freydis pointed out.

“You’re right, and that’s something I need to work on, but I’m also an adult and it’s more accepted for an adult to use bad words. I promise I won’t care as much when you get older and learn how to make those decisions,” I admitted.

“But it’s just us out here, who’s going to mind?” Freydis argued.

“I am, swearing in private builds a habit of swearing in general. That’s how I got so bad about it,” I rebutted, “Besides, I can always ground you if you keep swearing.”

“From what? We’re hunting in the forest, there isn’t anything to ground me-” Freydis began before I reached out and snipped off the end of her spear, “Oh shit.”

“I’ll let that one slide because it was funny, but no more. I’ll fix your spear in a little bit, but first, what’s forty-five divided by nine?” I asked, switching seamlessly into Freydis’s lessons.

“Five. Come on, give me a hard one,” Freydis snarked, crossing her arms over her chest confidently.

“Find the derivative of six ‘e’ to the power of seven ‘x’ squared plus  two,” I instructed.

“Eighty-four ‘x’ ‘e’ to the power of seven ‘x’ squared plus two. I said I wanted a hard one, not more simple math,” Freydis complained.

“Uh, Frey? That was calculus. You just did some of the most advanced math you’ll ever find...in your head,” I pointed out.

“Oh. Does that mean I don’t have to learn any more math?” Freydis asked.

“I guess it does, huh. Remind me how old you are?” I allowed.

“Seven,” Freydis replied easily.

“And gryphons live to be?” I pressed.

“Between eighty and a hundred,” Freydis answered.

“So you are most definitely a child?” I confirmed.

“Oh yeah,” Freydis agreed.

“Then how on earth did you get to calculus in a week?” I demanded, more than a little shocked by my own words.

“I dunno, math is easy,” Freydis replied with a shrug.

“I’ve got a mathematical prodigy in front of me and she can’t spell to save her life,” I sighed.

“I can too spell, I just get the letters mixed up sometimes,” Freydis protested.

“Spell your name then,” I challenged.

“F-A-R-I-D-E-S,” Freydis attempted.

“Fairy Days?” I teased, “I think we found your pony name.”

“Aww,” Freydis groaned, lowering her head in disappointment.

“Hmm, I want to try something,” I began as I tore the bark off a nearby tree and formed a claw. After a few seconds of scratching on the smooth side, I turned it around so Freydis could see what I had written, “What does this say?”

“I have no idea,” Freydis admitted after a moment.

“Then just give me the letters in the order you see them,” I instructed, wondering if Freydis’s issue might be caused by dyslexia. These thoughts were banished when she repeated every letter back to me in the correct order.

“Did I do badly at that too? I hate reading,” Freydis complained.

“I was just checking to see if you were dyslexic, it’s a brain thing where words are all messed up and unreadable. Don’t worry, you don’t have it. We’ll just have to keep working on it,” I sighed, pulling another couple pieces of bark off and passing one to Freydis, “Let’s go over nouns again.”

“Those are things right?” Freydis confirmed.

“Yeah, and they’re almost always the subject of the sentence so they’re very important,” I replied as I settled into my spot and went over the basic pillars of language again, though Freydis made very little progress.

When we returned to the cabin that night, I stopped Sigrid before she could turn away and ignore my existence. I felt the gryphon’s muscles tense when I grabbed her shoulder, my grip loose but firm. Sigrid’s eyes filled with pain when she turned to look me in the eyes, seeing only the monster that took her husband from her.

“Freydis is a math genius but sucks at literature, it’ll be a while before she can read at the level of her peers. I thought you should know how her lessons have been going,” I informed the gryphon.

“Just leave me alone, please,” Sigrid requested weakly. I noticed she was looking thinner than I remembered and gently lowered her into a seated position.

“I bring you plenty of food, what’s wrong with you? Are you eating?” I asked worriedly.

“I didn’t today, had a scrap or two yesterday. Not hungry,” Sigrid responded.

“This is my fault, I shouldn’t have left you alone,” I lamented as I picked Sigrid up and carried her inside. To my surprise, she didn’t struggle or try to fight beyond her continued protests.

“No, don’t touch me,” Sigrid whined, though her body didn’t mirror her vocalized resistance.

“Here we go, nice and comfortable in bed,” I stated gently as I set Sigrid on her bed and pulled the blankets over her. After a moment’s thought, I adjusted how Sigrid was positioned and pulled her up into a sitting position with her back against the wall, “There, now you can eat too.”

“Not hungry,” Sigrid insisted.

“You’re weak, your body is eating itself because you aren’t getting enough. You can’t just quit like this when times get hard, what kind of example does that set for Frey?” I countered, a touch of anger seeping into my voice.

Sigrid fell silent once more and just looked at me with that same pained expression.

“I gave you the space and time you wanted. If that wasn’t enough, tough shit. You’ve gone from the tough and stubborn gryphon that punched me in the face to a paper thin bag of bones in my absence, when did you get pathetic? There’s no honor in starving yourself, there’s even a slur about eating your feathers, but here you are commiting suicide like a fucking coward,” I ranted, allowing my true feelings about the matter to show themselves. 

Sigrid’s eyes hardened, her despair turning to the anger I was more familiar with. She tried to make a fist and looked surprised when she couldn’t close her talon all the way, the strength to do so long gone. Sigrid seemed to see her condition for the first time, her expression turning to one of horror as she realized what she had done.

“Oh gods, I-I’m so thin!” Sigrid cried in alarm, though her voice barely rose past a conversational volume. The shock claiming her mind shattering as a familiar stimulus was applied. Thank you psychology elective.

“That’s what I’ve been saying. Now it’s my turn to be in charge around here, starting with your recovery,” I declared forcefully. Sigrid’s instinctive argument died in her throat when she saw my expression of anger and concern, instead nodding meekly as she recognized her position, “And next time you decide to push me away, I’ll break your fucking legs and tie you to my back.”

It was an empty threat and Sigrid knew it, but she nodded again just the same, “I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Yes you would, and you’d bitch about it constantly,” I accused as I left to shear off a portion of my freshest haul. I’d eat the spoiled meat later, it didn’t seem to affect me.

“Yes, I would,” Sigrid admitted with a weak chuckle as I returned with a heaping plate of raw chimera.

“Eat slowly and take breaks often, your body will need to re-adjust to having food in your stomach,” I advised as I set the plate on Sigrid’s lap and sat down by her knees. I recalled documentaries about the second world war and how those treating the concentration camp survivors had a hard time withholding food even though those poor souls would kill themselves if they ate too much. Sigrid wasn’t even close to being in that kind of condition, but a little caution went a long way.

“I still hate you,” Sigrid commented between bites.

“I still don’t care,” I replied.

“Did you make any headway on wearing Friedhelm’s face?” Sigrid asked, pretending the question didn’t bother her.

“Some, but I didn’t want Frey to see me like that so I don’t know how good of a recreation it is,” I answered with a shrug.

“Well, come on then,” Sigrid urged with a flippant wave of her talon.

“No, it can wait a few days for you to recover. I have a feeling you’ll want to punch me and I’d rather you didn’t hurt yourself in the process,” I responded.

“I wouldn’t hit you so often if you weren’t an idiot,” Sigrid countered.

“I’m not stupid, I’m just new and still learning about this world. By that logic you’d strike Frey for not being able to read,” I rebutted, silencing the gryphon for a moment as she tried to figure out a new angle.

“This is different, you don’t even feel it,” Sigrid attempted.

“Yes I do, it just doesn’t physically hurt. The mental effect is still present, therefore you are still doing harm,” I reasoned.

Sigrid glared at me for a few seconds before changing the subject, the obviousness of her hypocrisy and her bullheadedness warring on her face, “Would I be correct in assuming you and Freydis are getting along?”

“If there was ever a dumb question,” I teased before answering properly, “She likes having an uncle around to teach her things, we’ve been getting along pretty well.”

“Would that be her spear leaning against the wall in the main room? I hope you’re smart enough not to put her in danger,” Sigrid pressed warningly.

“She goes after rabbits and foxes mostly, I take the things that fight back,” I confirmed.

“Good, that’s good,” Sigrid commented, looking down at her plate in unease, “Take this away, would you? I’ll be sick if I eat much more.”

“Alright,” I replied as I removed the plate from Sigrid’s lap and set it on the side table. A clawed kick prompted me to move and allow Sigrid to settle into bed.

“I expect to see your imitation skills tomorrow, no excuses,” Sigrid declared, her tone brooking no argument.

“Just go to sleep already you insufferable bird,” I ordered jokingly.

“Buck off you slimy...what actually are you? You never said,” Sigrid attempted, her insult dying as she ran out of information about me.

“A disease, I’m a sapient cluster of viral cells,” I confessed.

Sigrid stared blankly as she processed this, not quite looking at anything. When she finally managed to speak again, it was a raspy, “What?”

“I became this thing when I appeared in the forest, before then I was a human. That’s not as important right now though, but it does help me understand what I am now. This virus I’ve become, Blacklight, existed in one of our fictional stories, a plot element for an end of the world scenario. The main character was like me, made entirely of the stuff, but worked to help contain the threat to the island it began on. His story is what I’ve been basing my assumptions about my powers on,” I explained, leaving out the sequel because it undermined everything established in the first game.

“Will you? Will you contain the disease?” Sigrid asked, visibly shaken.

“I’ve seen nothing to indicate that there’s anything other than me. Keeping myself in check shouldn’t be too hard. So yeah, that’s been the plan,” I answered honestly, allowing Sigrid to take a relieved breath.

“Don’t scare me like that again you cretin,” Sigrid jokingly snapped as she swiped at my head, though I was well out of range.

“Whatever bitch,” I replied with a smile, “Goodnight Sig.”

“Goodnight Jekyll, thanks for breaking me out of my stupor,” Sigrid returned with a wave as I turned towards the door and moved to leave.

“Anytime,” I responded as I walked out and hooked a left to check on Freydis.

I found Freydis pretending to be asleep in her bed, a thin smile on her face following her eavesdropping. I let it slide, everything said to Sigrid would have been told to Freydis eventually.

I spent the night walking circles around the cabin, as I had most nights. There was a relaxing element to it, an ability to think on everything that had happened so far and experiment with my abilities. Within the first week of my banishment, I had figured out all of the in-game weapons. They were simple things, completely unworthy of the effort required for Mercer to get them. Instead I devoted my time to setting up my claws the way I wanted, figuring out how to adjust their shape and size. Tonight, I got them perfect.

My claws were now long enough to scrape the ground when I walked, though I had found a way to have even more blade per claw within that distance. Each claw hooked around like a talon, with the backsides just as sharp as the normal claw edge. I had dulled the edge on the hooks, finding that they had been too sharp when I had attempted to hook myself to a hydra the other day and fallen off when the flesh parted instead of holding me.

The issue with this was that I was now without anything to focus on except my disguise. With a thought, I broke the surface of my body apart and assumed the form of the only sapient being I had consumed. Dropping to all fours, I continued along my path until dawn.

Freydis was the first one to walk outside, spotting me and instantly going rigid. She seemed torn between an urge to flee from the imposter before her and a desire to embrace her father. I took the decision from her and pulled her into a hug. It wasn’t long before her tears began, her cries awakening Sigrid.

“Je-Fr-” Sigrid stammered when she appeared in the doorway, showing the same distress as Freydis though she seemed to have regained much of her strength. I waved her over and allowed the gryphons one last time to be a family before I broke the illusion.

“Sig-” I managed before a talon closed around my beak.

“I know who you are, let us have this for a little longer,” Sigrid requested. I nodded and maintained my silence as they released some of their repressed grief. It only lasted a few seconds, but it seemed like they needed the moment. I only started getting concerned when Sigrid spoke again, “Freydis, go back inside honey. Mommy needs a moment.”

Freydis gave her mother a confused look, but only hesitated a moment more before she obediently walked back inside the cabin and closed the door. I raised an eyebrow as I gave Sigrid an inquisitive look of my own.

“You do know that I’m not Fried, right?” I confirmed.

“I know,” Sigrid replied.

“Then why are you giving me bedroom eyes?” I continued.

“It’s been a difficult month and you look just like the gryphon I loved, can you really blame me?” Sigrid countered.

“I’m not comfortable with this. We may both be adults, but you’re Fried’s wife. I don’t like you like that,” I objected gently, conscious that this was a very delicate situation and that she saw her husband rejecting her.

Sigrid flinched, but seemed to recover quickly enough, “How about we meet halfway and go kiss behind the cabin like a couple of teenagers?”

“That’s less morally objectionable, alright,” I relented, mostly because Sigrid was already dragging me across the ground. She didn’t waste any time roughly pushing me against the side of the cabin and kicking my hind legs out from under me, dropping me in a seated position against the wall. I made a mental note not to get into a real fight with Sigrid, she had some real skill. 

Twice I had to push Sigrid back and remind her of our deal, but otherwise I allowed her to molest my face and neck without further complaint. I knew she was just having difficulty rationalizing that I wasn’t her husband, but I didn’t know what to do. What could I do? Deny her outright and let her last memory of seeing her husband’s face be one stained by that rejection? That would’ve been cruel, so I let her make out with me and cry until she felt better. 

“Thank you for this,” Sigrid whispered as she settled in to rest her head on my right shoulder and idly stroke my feathered head with her right talon while her left dug into my side as though afraid to let go.

“I...if you...you’re welcome,” I finally replied, stumbling over a few attempts at speech.

“I know you aren’t my Friedhelm and you didn’t have to do this, but I never got to say goodbye. Now it feels like I have, in some way or another,” Sigrid continued.

“Sig...you did. I should’ve told you this before. I didn’t eat your husband, I absorbed his body. I got most of his memories, his skills, his way of thinking, everything he was got added to me. In a very direct way, you were saying goodbye to him,” I explained. I expected Sigrid to get angry, but she deserved to know. What I got was a sad sigh and a tighter grip.

“Is he awake? Does he know I’m here?” Sigrid asked, her voice quiet as though she risked spooking Friedhelm’s ghost.

“I’m sorry, he’s dead. It’s a predatory ability, used to help me evolve and become a better hunter. It isn’t a way to survive death,” I responded softly.

“That you know. I’d rather believe he’s in there, watching over us in the only way he can,” Sigrid refuted, settling in on my lap and making it clear that she was exactly where she wanted to be for the time being.

Freydis found us like that two hours later, though she seemed more jealous than anything else. It would appear she missed her father just as much as Sigrid missed her husband. Being Freydis, she didn’t give voice to her complaints and instead brought us lunch before worming in to take a nap between her mother and I.

“Hey Sig?” I asked after I was sure Freydis was asleep.

“Hmm?” Sigrid replied quietly.

“Do you still hate me?” I wondered, receiving a weak slap to the side of my head.

“I want to hurl insults for hours, but the short answer is no. I’m not sure when that ended, but it wasn’t today,” Sigrid answered.

“Just curious,” I commented before falling silent and allowing Sigrid to take a quick nap as well.

Things seemed to be looking up. Once the gryphon family cuddle nap ended, I reminded Sigrid that we’d need to alter my appearance so as to avoid suspicion among any of the villagers that might have met Friedhelm.

“You should make a male version of Mom, that way you can claim to be brother and sister,” Freydis suggested as she wandered off to find something to eat.

“Good idea,” I replied, looking at Sigrid expectantly.

“I wasn’t being serious, that’s weird,” Freydis complained as she turned to walk around the corner of the building.

“No, it’s a good idea and we can use it as a place to start working on giving Jekyll his own gryphon identity,” Sigrid responded.

“I’ll start with your colors and we can tweak it from there,” I proposed, throwing everything I had learned so far at the supposedly simple act of changing the coloration of some hair and feathers. It took me a solid ten minutes of concentration to alter the colors, but I was now a black and white version of Friedhelm instead of the mottled brown he had been. At least my feathers alternated between black and a very light gray, the fur was all black.

“Are you sure you can do this? You said you could only change into things you knew,” Sigrid confirmed as she steadied my swaying form with a talon. She was right, I had broken what I thought was a rule of my biology. What else had I been wrong to assume?

“No, the story got things wrong. I’m fine,” I insisted.

“You’re about to collapse, you need to stop and rest,” Sigrid asserted.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, “What’s the next thing I need to change?”

“My family line has skinnier beaks than Friedhelm’s,” Sigrid sighed, gripping my shoulders to balance me as I threw myself at the next part of the process. It only took seconds this time, much of the discovery process being incorporated into the first step.

“Next,” I demanded, looking to continue while I was on a roll.

“Fill out your chest and forelimbs, the males of my family are military and show their strength with pride. Wings too, they need to have corded muscle and about six inches more wingspan per side. Backside is good, but lose the tail. They cut their tails to remove the risk of it getting injured. Paws, longer but just as wide. The eyes are random and can be whatever you like. I’m not discussing the last part,” Sigrid continued, listing off everything I could need.

“Alright, how’s this?” I asked as I completed the last section and turned to face my ‘sister’.

“You look like a coward, put some scars on your face and forelimbs. Claw marks and sword strikes if you can replicate them,” Sigrid critiqued, “Maybe some on the sides of the torso, nothing on the back or hindquarters. Never show scars on those places, it means you were hit while running away from a fight.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I responded as I embellished my disguise. It was becoming easier with every adjustment, like moving an atrophied limb into a more comfortable position.

“The cracked beak is a nice touch, makes you look like a knight,” Sigrid complimented.

“Thanks, I guess,” I replied.

“Got something against knights?” Sigrid pressed.

“I don’t really like the idea of pledging my support to some ruler I’ll never know, seems more like weakness to me. As though they need to attach themselves to that person to feel like they mean something,” I explained.

“They aren’t all like that,” Sigrid rebutted defensively, “Gryphonia has contracted the Northern Kingdom’s army for hire in the past and they’re known for being personal friends with their king. At least I think that’s what that place was called, maybe something about glass or crystals...”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I allowed, cutting off Sigrid’s reverie.

“Anyway, you look just like my brothers and shouldn’t have any difficulty claiming a relation. You could even say that you heard about my husband’s death and came to help, we don’t actually do that but the ponies will eat it up,” Sigrid continued, snapping out of her wandering thought quickly.

“Hmm, we should have a contingency in case we have a well travelled local call us on it,” I suggested, nodding at Sigrid’s reasoning.

“Twins?” Sigrid guessed with a shrug.

“Could work, push the ‘we were always close and I couldn’t leave you alone’ angle. It’ll do, and it’ll reinforce the sympathy thing in the process,” I agreed. We had a plan and I had a disguise, now I would be able to find a job and utilize the library for Freydis’s lessons as soon as it was built.

With nothing to keep me hanging around the cabin, I said my goodbyes and walked into town. I received plenty of second glances, though mostly a mix of sympathetic and disgusted looks crossed their features when the ponies saw my scars. I looked the part of a half crippled warrior wandering into town for reasons unknown.

I knew there wasn’t a job posting board in any of the outdoor areas, but assumed one of the public buildings would have one or that one of the employees would know where to find one. That didn’t stop me from looking for signs in business windows, though I found that the few buildings that posted a ‘help wanted’ sign pulled it down at the first sign of it gaining my attention.

I understood, of course, I didn’t really have a face for retail work, but they could’ve at least said it to the aforementioned face. It didn’t matter, I’d find something eventually.

As I walked into the, mostly built, town hall, the first thing I noticed was how spartan it was. There weren’t any adornments or embellishments on the walls or knick knacks on the receptionist’s desk, it gave off a cold, purely utilitarian vibe. Nevertheless, I was on a mission and confidently walked straight towards the small desk on the opposite side of the expansive, domed room.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for work,” I asked, mixing politeness with the gruff bluntness expected of one with my current appearance.

The light blue earth pony mare working the reception desk didn’t even look up from the newspaper in her hooves as she lifted a single foreleg. I stared at her, not comprehending the action, until I realized that she wasn’t throwing a Nazi salute but was rather pointing at something behind me with her entire leg.

“Right, much appreciated,” I replied as I turned to see the posting board on the wall right next to the door I had entered through. It was easy to see how I had missed it when I walked in, the double doors opened inward and I had inadvertently covered it as I entered.

I browsed the jobs posted on the corkboard for several seconds as I looked for one I could perform without risking my cover. Menial labor was my optimal choice, but I didn’t find any listings. I did, however find a single foalsitting job. It wasn’t the best choice, but it was the only one that wouldn’t have my abilities on full display within the week. Everything else had to do with pulling trees out of the ground or recruitment into the local militia, neither of which I was very keen on doing.

The foalsitting job was little more than a reminder of how superior the ponies thought they were, given the earful I got for even responding to the notice.

“Are you blind or just a stupid featherbrain? You can read right? Did you not see how the flier called for ‘anypony qualified’? What makes you think you’re qualified anyway? This is a house, not a warzone. Did you lose some of your feeble brain when your beak got wrecked? Stupid gryphons, you think every problem can be fixed with the point of a sword. I won’t have any of that around my son, now get lost before I report you for trespassing!” the ivory mare raved the instant she saw me. I hadn’t even spoken a word yet, but I departed the scene before I could end up in trouble with the law. That was the last thing I needed.

“Hey soldier bird, come here a second,” a voice beckoned as I fled the crazy pony’s wrath. I paused as I looked for the source and found a slightly overweight but well muscled pegasus stallion looking right at me. I cautiously approached and kept my eyes scanning for new threats to my continued use of this facade.

“Yes?” I asked suspiciously as I searched the pegasus’s face for any sign of malice.

“No worries about her mate, the ground pounders don’t realize what it means to be a flyer. But not all ponies are that daft, I for one remember the old days when we’d take to the skies together. Better times, they were. But they’re long past and now we birds have to look out for one another to get by,” the stallion began, painting him as the long winded type but at least he was friendly enough.

“I wasn’t here for those days, I only just got here. You’ll have to give me more than that for me to trust you farther than I can throw you,” I warned, aware that I was letting my previous experiences with ponies taint my view of this pegasus.

“That’s fair, you don’t know me from Celestia. But I’m speaking the truth when I tell ya that I’ve had too many gryphon friends to leave one of your kind hanging,” the pegasus continued.

“One of my kind?” I repeated dangerously.

“Shoot, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Tell you what, I’ve got a decent bit here overseeing the construction teams. If’n you can carry bricks and lay them straight, I can give you a job,” the stallion offered.

“Tempting, but I don’t trust you. All I’ve gotten from this shit country is more shit. I only came here because my twin sister’s husband was murdered and she needed help with their daughter, since then I’ve been yelled at and spat on for no reason other than the fact that I’m a gryphon. Where do you buckers even get off on the superiority thing? I can actually eat you, you are a prey species, that does not make you better than me. All of that and then suddenly you show up and act all nice, sounds like a baited trap to me,” I responded, never once raising my voice but my tone made the pegasus blanch as he understood me that much better.

“Look bird-” the stallion attempted.

“Stop calling me that, I am not a pest animal,” I snapped.

“But it’s a flyer thing, pegasi and gryphons call each other birds all the time...Sorry, not important. I’m really sorry Equestria hasn’t treated you well, but I wouldn’t dare double cross you like that. I know the marks of a veteran, the value of your honor, and I know exactly how much of me would be left if I challenged it. If you don’t believe anything else I’ve said, trust that I wouldn’t risk my neck like that,” the pegasus placated, easing my worries.

“And why would you want to give me a job?” I asked, nearly convinced of the stallion’s stated intentions.

“I’ve seen the other two and I recognize the relation, helping them out is a good thing and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try to help,” the pegasus admitted.

“We can handle ourselves, but...it would be irresponsible to refuse a job,” I allowed, pretending to choke on the words as though they offended my pride.

“Glad I could help out. Name’s Blueprint, though most call me Blue,” Blueprint replied, extending a hoof in greeting.

“Sigfried, and you’re orange,” I responded, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, there’s a running joke among the crews that I’m colorblind. Jokes on them though, I actually am colorblind,” Blueprint chuckled.

“So when do you need me to start?” I asked, bringing the discussion back on topic.

“Tomorrow if you can, we’ll be setting up to finish the town hall around dawn. You can meet with us there. I’ll tell you now, you’ll be the most popular bird on the site if you can carry bricks and fly at the same time. Getting materials to the roof has been worse than a stay in Tartarus,” Blueprint complained.

“I’ll be there,” I promised as I turned to leave.

“See you tomorrow Sigfried,” Blueprint called in farewell as I walked away. The walk back seemed much shorter now that I had a way to replenish our funds, albeit at the cost of time with Freydis. But that was the trade off, nothing I could do to change that.

“Gonna try again tomorrow?” Sigrid asked as I walked in, immediately assuming I had returned in failure.

“I’ll be too busy at work to look for jobs tomorrow,” I replied, surprising the gryphon.

“How’d you manage that? It took Friedhelm a week to find a job that would have him,” Sigrid pressed.

“Some pegasus that kept calling me a bird offered me a job in construction, seemed nice enough,” I explained.

“You took offense, didn’t you?” Sigrid guessed.

“I told him to stop, yeah,” I allowed.

“That’s a flyer’s word, it’s only offensive if an earth pony or unicorn uses it. It’s a term of endearment if used by a pegasus,” Sigrid corrected, seeming to find this amusing.

“To be honest, I was a bit of an asshole towards him. I blew up about all the stupid supremacy shit they’ve thrown at us and he took the brunt of it, still offered me the job though,” I added, feeling embarrassed about how I had treated Blueprint. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve done that at least thirty times. Nobody would believe you were a gryphon if you didn’t lose your temper,” Sigrid reassured me, “Also, ‘us’?”

“Right, yeah, this is confusing. It’s weird having racial slurs thrown at me even though I’m not really the right target, still stings though. I feel like I’m the dude playing the dude that’s disguised as the other dude,” I offered with a shrug.

“Might be a bit of Friedhelm floating around,” Sigrid mused, though mostly to herself.

“Might be. Whatever the case, I found a job and start at dawn tomorrow. Couple that with my hunts and we should be net positive very soon,” I replied.

“I take it my lessons are on hold then?” Freydis asked as she walked in with three dead foxes.

“It’s impolite to eavesdrop,” Sigrid chided lightly.

“No, they’ll just be shorter and later in the day,” I corrected.

“That’s good, I like your lessons a lot more than the school’s,” Freydis commented.

“I still have trouble understanding that. On my world, you’d be the most popular kid there. You hunt and fish, you’re tough, and you’re smart. You’d have tons of friends and none of the bullies would dare mess with you,” I thought out loud.

“Because on your world she’d have beaten the bullies into leaving her alone, we don’t do that here,” Sigrid responded, a hard edge forming in her voice.

“That’s exactly what I’m stuck on, you don’t fight back. You’re carnivores, you eat meat, that makes you a predatory species. Ponies are herbivores, they only eat plants, they’re a prey species. What twist of irony has the predators afraid of the prey?” I demanded.

Sigrid paused as she followed my reasoning, the gears in her head almost visibly turning as she hit the same logical walls. Eventually she looked back at me with a furrowed brow and shrugged, “I really don’t know, I’ve never thought of it like that before.”

“Has any gryphon?” I pressed.

“Not that I know of, everyone I know storms off before they get the chance to become violent,” Sigrid continued, “But only with ponies, we regularly fight each other and the other species. And only when isolated, there have been a few wars between us.”

“This is scary,” Freydis added.

“Okay, yeah. Magic might be involved or it could be cultural conditioning, but I doubt it’ll be too difficult to find out,” I reasoned, a test forming in my mind.

Two hours later, we were all in position. Sigrid wandered from shop to shop with an artificially heavy purse, having been loaded down with coins I’d carved from wood and stone. Her instructions were clear, she was to wander until a pony tried to rob her and then strike out with her claws. She was staying in public so there would be witnesses to the actual crime, but wouldn’t hesitate to make a scene and slash at her attacker.

I spotted Freydis flagging down a brown earth pony that kept glancing at Sigrid’s purse and looking around. Though he was obviously planning to steal from her, no one else seemed to notice his shifty behavior. I waited and watched from my vantage point as she stallion crept closer, waiting until there was a hoof in Sigrid’s purse before releasing a loud screech.

SIgrid instantly grabbed the stallions leg, trapping it in her bag as she turned to round on him.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” she shouted, drawing the attention of the other shoppers away from the loud noise I had made.

The stallion looked terrified as he looked around at his peers, though it disappeared when his gaze returned to Sigrid. It was replaced by anger.

“How dare you embarrass me like this, don’t you know who I am?” the stallion retorted, “I’ll ruin you for this insult, I’ll make you rue the day you challenged me. Nopony messes with-”

Sigrid slapped him, her talons carving deep cuts along the side of his face and opening his cheek. She huffed and walked away as the thief screamed his pain into the dust of the street.

I met up with Sigrid on the way back to the house and clapped a hand on her shoulder in congratulations, “Good show out there, way to fuck up that asshole.”

“It did feel pretty good, almost too good,” Sigrid replied, sounding shaken.

“And we’ve learned that it’s a cultural thing and not some fucked up mind control,” I continued as we reached the cabin.

“So what happened?” Freydis excitedly asked the instant we walked inside, having gotten away before things could turn violent for her own safety.

“Your mom fucked up that thief, it was glorious,” I replied jovially.

“Language,” Sigrid chided, though her mind was elsewhere.

“Right, sorry,” I apologized, “It’s just awesome to finally see a hint of justice.”

“About that, the guard will probably be here soon,” Sigrid commented, “Just let them take me in, it isn’t worth the fight.”

“Absolutely not, they’ll have to get through me if they want to abduct one of my charges,” I rebuked as I dropped my disguise and formed my claws in the same action. Sigrid looked saddened by that, but nodded before retiring to her room.

“Mom seems messed up by this, why is that?” Freydis asked as she climbed up my leg and back to hang from my neck with her head over my shoulder.

“Everything she’s learned tells her that what she did was wrong, but her heart knows that standing up for herself was the right thing to do. She’s having a hard time balancing the two,” I explained as I reached up to ruffle her feathers with a freshly declawed hand.

The guard didn’t show up that night, nor while I was at work the next day. It took them another two months before they finally appeared at our door.

“Can I help you?” I asked, wearing my gryphon disguise.

“We’d like you to answer a few questions involving an assault,” one of the guards stated.

“Check your information, it wasn’t an assault, it wasn’t a male gryphon, and it was months ago,” I responded warily.

“Are we to understand that you are being uncooperative?” the same guard threatened.

“No, you can ask whatever you like,” I allowed.

“When you were arguing with Mister Rich, why did you resort to violence so quickly?” the guard asked.

“And just like that, you’ve lost my cooperation. You’re not looking for information, you want a confession. So let me be perfectly clear: no one survives to press charges when I get violent, therefore I am not the one who was involved,” I warned.

“You’re under arrest for assaulting a pony and threatening members of the town guard,” the same guard declared as he stepped forward and with drew a pair of manacles. He froze when I rose to stand on my hind legs and dropped my disguise, his gaze slowly panning up to meet my furious stare.

“You,” I began, pointing at the guard that hadn’t spoken, “You hold still and write down everything I’ve said.”

“Alright,” The guard agreed easily, showing no fear. His expression was of one who had seen far too much to be surprised by anything. I’d seen the same look on the faces of a few friends I’d had back when I was human, specifically the ones who were cops.

“As for you,” I continued, refocusing on the biased guard, “You and I are going to have a long chat about preconceptions and biases.”

“Help meeeeeee!” the guard wailed as I picked him up and carried him inside the cabin.


Two Hours Later


“And that’s why your actions here have hurt the community as a whole and not just one gryphon,” I concluded.

“But what about-” Steadfast, the guard, attempted.

“Every species has their place and purpose, that doesn’t mean any one is better than any other. What would you do if we weren’t here to keep the forest’s monsters in check? You’d be their dinner, just like you were before we arrived,” I answered, not needing to hear the rest of the question.

“So you’re saying that-” Steadfast began again.

“No, I’m saying that you, as an officer of the law, need to keep your own feelings about the different species as irrelevant as possible. You should treat everyone equally, not rush judgements because a gryphon was involved,” I corrected.

“I think I understand, but I have one last question. Why did you tell me all of this when you’re about to kill me?” Steadfast asked.

“Why would I do that?” I countered.

“Because I saw you as a gryphon, I know who you are now,” Steadfast replied.

“Are you going to betray that trust?” I asked.

“I mean, I don’t plan to,” Steadfast offered with a shrug.

“Then go on and be a better pony, but remember that I’ll pull you apart and eat you piece by piece if you betray me,” I casually threatened as I gestured for Steadfast to leave. The pony guard looked slightly disturbed by the warning, but nodded and got up to leave, “And let your buddy know the deal as well.”

“I-I will,” Steadfast responded before walking out into the night.

“You are an insufferable parody of yourself,” Sigrid asserted as she made her presence known.

“And yet you continue to forget that I don’t sleep,” I teased, referencing the increasing frequency of Sigrid’s habit of using my body heat to stay warm whenever I would stop moving for a while to think.

“Do you know how long Friedhelm and I were married?” Sigrid asked, her posture changing to match her defensive tone.

“Sixteen years,” I replied easily, pulling from the memories I had stolen. Sigrid flinched in surprise but recovered quickly as she formed the rest of her point.

“I hadn’t slept alone for sixteen years, not having another body there makes my bed feel cold and lifeless. I know I should be over it by now, but I can’t help feeling that loneliness every time I lay down,” Sigrid explained.

“And you know I won’t complain,” I added, giving her a soft smile, “Is it really that bad?”

“Yes, could you just…” Sigrid trailed off as I shifted back into my gryphon disguise and hugged her.

“Yeah, I’ll wait until you fall asleep before I go hunting,” I replied.

“Thank you, I’m sorry for being a burden like this,” Sigrid whispered.

I held the sides of Sigrid’s head and looked her in the eyes as I made it clear that she wasn’t a burden, “We’re friends, friends carry each other when they’re down. That’s not being a burden, it’s healing. The biggest issue should be that you’re asking your brother to share a bed with you.”

“Really? You had to go there? Don’t be gross Jekyll, I’m asking for something to trick me into thinking I’m not alone. If you want that then go find it somewhere else, my body still belongs to my husband,” Sigrid rebuked, her face a mixture of amusement and disgust.

“Just messing with you, damn. Besides, I’ve haven’t felt anything like that since I got here anyway,” I revealed, choosing to ignore the advances Sigrid made when I looked like Friedhelm.

“Nothing at all? No desire to find a mate? That’s rather sad actually,” Sigrid responded.

“Whatever the case on that front, it’s convenient for your current issue,” I baited, drawing Sigrid towards the obvious conclusion.

“Yes, I guess it does offer some assurance that you won’t accost me,” Sigrid reasoned as she guided me into her room and onto her bed. I let the conversation die as the gryphon closed her eyes and pulled herself into my chest, getting the impression that any further speech would only be counterproductive. Sigrid was asleep in seconds and I was free to return to my usual routine.

Things settled down after that night, expenses were paid, grudges were forgotten, life moved on. Stupid Rich even paid me the relative kindness of ignoring my existence when I was on the work team that built his house. It was far from easy, but we managed to scrape by in peace for a whole six years before the universe shit on us again.

“GAAAH, HEEELLLLPP!” Freydis screamed, jolting Sigrid and I out of bed to investigate. It wasn’t like Freydis to have a nightmare, especially at thirteen years old. There was only one reason I could think of for Freydis’s scream, an intruder.

I burst into the room with bared claws and a snarl of rage, though all I found was a terrified Freydis sitting up in her bet with her blankets pulled up to her neck. She was shivering in fear and pointed a shaky finger towards her window, the window on the opposite side of the room.

“Find out what happened,” I instructed as Sigrid caught up to me, giving her only enough time to nod her acknowledgement before I threw the window open and jumped through. I spent several minutes checking the area for disturbances or strange smells, finding nothing. There weren’t even any foot or hoof prints to indicate anyone had been there.

I ran through the list of possible interlopers that didn’t leave tracks, manticores, pegasi, Celestia, but none of them could do so without leaving their scent behind. There hadn’t been an intruder, it was just a random nightmare.

“There’s nothing there,” I stated as I returned to Freydis’s room by more conventional methods.

“There was, i-it was dark but I saw its fangs in the moonlight. Its eyes...they were glowing,” Freydis recalled, reminding me of the shadowy figure that had spoken to me after my first encounter with Celestia.

“It was just a nightmare Frey, I promise. Otherwise I’d smell them and hunt them down for scaring my niece like this,” I reassured her, getting a relieved look from Sigrid, “Come on, let’s get you tucked back in.”

Freydis was still visibly shaken by the nightmare as she laid back down and allowed me to pull the blankets over her. I saw this and motioned for Sigrid to offer her brand of encouragement as well.

“Where’s your spear? Would that make you feel safer?” Sigrid asked, looking around the room for the weapon.

“B-By the front door, but it’s a hunting spear…” Freydis replied, recognizing that the flimsy wooden haft wouldn’t offer her much protection. I fell silent as Sigrid left to retrieve the weapon, wondering what I could offer to help. I placed my left hand on Freydis’s shoulder comfortingly as I reformed my right hand into a familiar clawed appendage. On a whim, I grabbed one of the sword-length talons and pulled until it was ripped from its socket.

“Well that hurt less than I thought it would,” I commented as I ran my fingers over the fleshy finger part of the improvised weapon, reducing it to the underlying bone. Freydis watched in grim fascination as I collected a few of the materials she kept on hand to maintain her equipment and used them to fashion a crude handle.

“Uncle Jekyll?” Freydis asked as Sigrid returned, though my back was to the door and blocking her ability to see what I was making.

“There, now you have something to protect yourself with,” I announced as I set the awkwardly shaped sword against the corner of her bed and the wall. 

“I don’t know how to use a sword,” Freydis confessed even though we all already knew that. Still, I understood her true request.

“Why don’t you go back to bed Sig, I’ll stay here and watch over Frey,” I suggested.

“I’ll be right next door if you need me,” Sigrid allowed before leaning the spear against the wall and taking a long look at her daughter before easing out of the room.

“I’m right here Frey, you’re perfectly safe,” I reassured the young gryphon, stroking the feathers on her head comfortingly.

Freydis continued to shiver in fear, though it seemed to be easing as she slowly calmed down enough to fall back asleep.

“You don’t really need me anyway... Hmm, this would be better if I knew how to play an instrument or three,” I began before going into a purely vocal version of a fitting lullaby. Freydis’s fear evaporated and she even managed a giggle at some points in the song. I heard her breathing change as I spoke the final lines and knew her to be asleep.

I slowly retracted my arm and backed out of the room, more alert to any sounds outside the cabin than ever before. There was nothing, not even crickets. I could see Sigrid’s prone form through her open door and the slow movements of her chest as she slumbered uneasily. I scanned the main room for anything out of place, finding nothing. Next was Sigrid’s room, again I found everything to be in order. 

Still paranoid about Freydis’s uncharacteristic fear, I walked back outside and walked a half dozen laps around the small building. I searched every possible hiding space for trespassers and periodically sniffed the air for any scents that didn’t belong, still nothing. I found no peace that night, my only relief coming with the rising sun and the banishment of the shadows around the property. Blueprint could hang if he cared that much about me being late for work, I wasn’t stopping until both Sigrid and Freydis were awake.

And so they did, seeming surprised to find me wandering the cabin and property with my claws bared. No one asked why I was on edge, they were too and for the same reasons.

“What do you think Sig, should I stick around today and apologize to Blueprint later?” I asked, pushing the option onto Sigrid.

“No, we can’t risk our only income because we’re scared. Besides, we’re the predators here right?” Sigrid replied, though she didn’t seem to believe it.

“Keep that sword close by, just in case,” I responded quietly before patting Freydis on the back and assuming my gryphon disguise, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“We’ll be fine, we’re just being paranoid,” Sigrid reassured everyone.

With nothing else to say, I made my farewells and started my trek into town. Blueprint asked about my tardiness when he saw me approaching the job site, but accepted my reasoning of a trespasser in the night and subsequent hesitation to show up at all. I was mildly surprised to get stated permission not to come in to work if it happened again, both from Blueprint and my coworkers. It was interesting to see this side of the ponies, the side that cared about preserving  the safety of their fellows, even if it meant that of non-ponies.

I thanked them for their kind words and asked if I could head home during the lunch break to check on Sigrid and Freydis.

“Of course you can, go ahead and stay with them too. The job will still be here tomorrow. Honestly, I’m amazed that you don’t have this happen more often, what with how close you live to the forest and the monster we sometimes see prowling your property,” Blueprint allowed.

“Jekyll? Tall, dark, and scary claws?” I asked, getting wide eyes and a shallow nod as though any further reaction would attract...me, “Nah, he’s alright. He actually helps out with the pests from the forest and gives us a good portion of the meat. I suppose he’s something like my brother at this point, considering that’s what Sigrid calls him.”

“That’s your sister right? She calls that thing her brother? I heard it saved her daughter from some bullies, but that seems like she’s taking it too far,” Nails rebutted from the roof of the bank we were building.

“Call it what you like, but we all get along well enough for me,” I countered with a shrug.

“I think you’re being too harsh Nails, it could clearly take any one of us if it wanted but instead it’s over there helping out a widow. Sounds like a stand up stallion to me,” Cutter added from his spot on the saw.

“Huh, you might be onto something there,” Nails conceded as he returned his focus to the framework he was fitting to the building. 

The conversation turned to things of little import as the day progressed, ending for me when the sun peaked and we broke for lunch. I waved my goodbye as I separated from the group and turned to follow the path back to the cabin.

Blood.

There was blood in the air, carried on the wind in quantities too strong to be from one of Freydis’s hunts. I felt a pit form in my stomach and energy flow into my legs as I sprinted back to the cabin, I had to know they were okay. They had to be okay.

Two guards stood outside, their grim faces telling me everything I needed to know.
> Chapter 3: This Town Ain't Big Enough
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Present Day



‘Same old cabin, I feel like I spend more time fixing it than actually living in there. Well that’s what I get for living in a thousand year old house...maybe I could replace it with a bioform?’

A rustle from the forest broke me from my revelry, I knew that rustle. I walked just inside the edge of the trees and came face to face with a familiar scarred gryphon, very familiar as I saw that same face every time I walked past a mirror.

“Something to report, Doppel?” Doppel was one of my ‘Enforcers,’ a corps of bioforms I created several centuries ago to make my job easier and act as a ready made army should I need one. ‘Work smarter, not harder.’ Doppel acted as my body double, giving me a presence in town while I was away working on various projects. Although recently he’s transitioned more into a messenger role, as I’d run out of projects for the time being and didn’t feel like pranking Celestia.

“Intelligence reports that Solar-2 is enroute to primary location to scout for event Sierra-1, subject’s estimated time of arrival is five minutes from now. Solar-1 will be following and arrive at an unknown time,” Translation: Celestia’s student, one ‘Twilight Sparkle,’ will be arriving in Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, Celestia will show up eventually. I had no idea why they insisted on talking like that, Doppel was usually pretty good about talking like a normal person.

“Alright, the current setup should be fine, we haven’t had any unfriendly creatures make it within a mile of the town in years. But I’ve got a bad feeling about this, have six of the best disguise as timber wolves and be ready to back me up,” I replied.



Perspective Change: Twilight
A few minutes later



“Well thanks Applejack, but do you know where I can find the local monster hunter’s guild? It wasn’t on my overseer’s checklist. It must be some kind of test,” I said, feeling sick from all of the food I was just force-fed.

“Don’t rightly know what that is, but ah do know that we don’t have one a’ those ‘round here,” Applejack replied looking confused.

“What? But every town near a wild area has a monster hunter's guild, and the Everfree Forest is right next to the town. How does everypony stay safe from all the monsters?” 

“Oh, yer lookin’ fer Best Defense, he’s a gryphon, lives in a cabin right near the border of the forest. Been around long as ah can remember, keepin’ the nasties away.”

“One gryphon? Wow, he must be awesome. Can we go meet him Twilight? I bet he’s got all sorts of cool stories and weapons and armor, just like a knight out of one of my comics,” Spike said excitedly from my back, his former sluggishness forgotten.

“I wouldn’t let him hear ya say that if ah were you, knights are sworn to the princess and old Best has got a grudge against her somthin’ fierce. Ah guess Celestia did somthin’ ages ago that Best ain’t never forgiven her for,” Applejack warned.

My mind was reeling, how could anypony be mad at the princess? What could she possibly have done to this gryphon? I had to know, I had to give this ‘Best Defense’ a piece of my mind. “Well, thanks for the info Applejack. Come on Spike, we’re going to meet this gryphon after all.”

It wasn’t hard to find the cabin Applejack was talking about. It sat directly between the town and the forest, as if the town had been built in the little structure’s shadow. Or hiding behind it. As I walked up to the door I noticed there was no doorknob but a simple loop of rusted metal to pull the door open with. 

“Come on in, door hasn’t got a lock,” came a gruff voice from inside, causing both me and Spike to jump. ‘How did he know we were out here? Of course, he must have seen us walking up.’

“Oh, uh, okay, my name is..” I said using my magic to open the door and walk inside, immediately finding a heavily scarred and angry looking gryphon seated in a chair opposite the door. He was wearing a black vest that was almost invisible against his feathers, but had eight knives sheathed under his arms. ‘No, those aren’t knives. Those are the same swords that the royal guard uses, Shining has one! They look like knives on a gryphon.’ 

Suddenly feeling like a cornered mouse, my voice left me. This gryphon was nothing like the dignitaries I had met while living in the castle, more like a manticore or a dragon. A predator, something to be feared, and I understood now how he could equal a whole guild of monster hunters. That glare could probably turn a cockatrice to stone.



Perspective Change: Jekyll (A.K.A. Best Defense)



I wasn’t glaring. In truth I was fighting back a laugh. I had seen this same look on every new face that has walked into my home, true terror. They had all lived their lives without ever coming face to face with any real threat, and I couldn’t seem to get rid of the look that comes with being an apex predator. Admittedly I could probably try harder, but they always get over it after a few minutes of not being eaten, so I have my fun and they get used to my demeanor. Everybody wins.

“Wow, so you’re the one AJ was talking about? You really are like a knight from a comic, so powerful you can paralyze an opponent with a look. And eight swords, I bet you can swing them around with your wings, so cool. My wings haven’t grown in yet, but Twilight says to just give it time.” Right, I forgot about the dragon. They don’t have prey instincts.

“Hahahaha, now that’s funny,” I said, breaking my composure and likely Twilight’s pride, “But to answer your questions: yes, unless you’ve gotten lost looking for Shy’s place. No, I can’t paralyze people, ponies just do that when they first meet me. No, I don’t use these as swords, they’re too small for me, so I use them as throwing knives, see.” I drew one and pinned it in the doorframe. “And be careful when those wings come in, you aren’t invincible, and it takes some training to use them properly. Besides, if you become a menace I’ll have to hunt you down,” I said with a smile, letting the little guy think I was joking. He hadn’t seen the dragon skull sitting on my roof yet. 

“I won’t,” he said, somehow both smiling and looking like I told him he couldn’t have any ice cream.

“Oh, looks like Twilight is returning to the land of the living,” about time, that took over three minutes. I was expecting better from Celestia’s protege.

“I can see how you can keep all of the monsters out of this area, with a glare like that,” she said, smiling apologetically.

“I wasn’t glaring, and I don’t,” I replied, standing up and walking over to my desk.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked walking over to where I was standing.

‘I’ll show you,” I said, pulling out a map reserved for answering this very question. It showed a portion of the Everfree Forest as well as Ponyville and the surrounding area. The part of the map that showed the area outside the forest and a bit of the way into it was shaded yellow, the rest of the forest was shaded red except for a small area that was blacked out. “The green areas are completely safe from any monster activity.”

“But there isn’t any green on that map,” said Twilight apprehensively.

“I know, the yellow areas are where I patrol and are as safe as you can be from any hostile monster activity. The red zone is not safe to enter and is completely wild. The black spot on that map is the ruins of Everfree Castle and the home of the reason this map isn’t solid green. The one creature in that forest who could kill me.”

“Nightmare Moon?”

That gave me pause. This was the thousandth year, wasn’t it? Tomorrow was the summer solstice, that meant the little sister would be released tonight. The one I had never met, the one I needed alive. I pulled a cigarette and lighter from a pouch on my vest and sat back down, never breaking eye contact with Twilight. I lit my cigarette and took a long drag, “Nightmare Moon, haven’t heard that name in years.”

“You know the legend? What can you tell me about the stars? Is there any way to stop it? And why are you mad at the princess?” Twilight rattled off, becoming angry towards the end.

“Twilight, I am over a thousand years old. It’s no legend, I was there. And unless something unexpected happens, both Celestia and Luna will die tonight,” I lied sadly.

“W-what, no. That can’t be, why would you say that?”

“Nightmare Moon was banished in that old castle, it’s where she’ll return. Problem is, Jekyll lives there now and I’m not convinced anything can stop that monster. He’ll butcher her like a timber wolf in the chicken pen. Celestia will undoubtedly take exception to her little sister being murdered and the cycle will repeat once more. Although, now that I’m thinking about it, Celestia’s always been good at the long game. She probably has some convoluted plan in place to keep that from happening. Did she give you any instructions when she sent you out here?”

Twilight and Spike had mirroring looks of shock and horror. Spike managed to break out of his stupor first, “She said to make some friends.” 

“Then you’d best do just that, I’ll answer your other questions later. We’ll all have our parts to play tonight and I suspect you’ll be taking center stage,” I prophesied, walking them to the door, “Now go on, I suspect that list of yours will help.”

“Bye Mister Best,” called Spike from an awestruck Twilight’s back as she walked away, mumbling something about saving the world with a rainbow.

I closed the door and leaned against it, letting out a sigh before taking another drag off my forgotten cigarette, now mostly ash. ‘Can’t get cancer, fuckit’

“So that’s your game, eh Chelly? Just hit it with the Elements till it gives up? Never worked on me,” I thought out loud.

A few hours and a couple more cigarettes later I made my way to the town hall, occasionally stopping to wave or greet the townsfolk on the way. I arrived at the town hall to discover that the usual party had been moved to the library, seemed that at least Pinkie made a new friend today. 

Pinkie and I had an arrangement in regard to my attendance to her parties, I would go to as many as possible while she acknowledged that I would be busy most of the time. In exchange, I contributed to her party fund and would take the day off on my birthday so she could throw “the most fantabulous bestest funnest party evar.” How she figured out when my birthday was, I may never know. I must admit however, it has been fun watching her one-up herself more and more with every passing year. Maybe someday she’ll fix the spelling on the invitations.

Once inside, I took a moment to ensure all of the equipment I would need was in its proper places and launched myself into an alcove opposite the main stage. Now that I was in position, it was a simple matter of more waiting until it was time for the ceremony. 

One by one they began to arrive and take their places. Fluttershy corralled her bird friends into place, Rarity moved into place next to the curtain, and the rest took their places in the audience. I noticed Twilight and Spike in the audience as well, Twilight looking even more nervous than before.

I had wagered everything on the hunch that Nightmare Moon would be as dramatic as her sister. If she didn’t show up here in the next few minutes countless innocents would probably die, and their blood would be on my hands. I began to doubt myself, I didn’t know Nightmare Moon, I didn’t know how she thought, and I was in here instead of watching the town. Then Rarity opened the curtain and all of my fears were silenced. Rarity stood alone on the balcony and from my perch high above the crowd, I could see shadows swirling towards the stage. There she was, the fabled Nightmare Moon. I thought she’d be taller.

“Oh, my beloved subjects, it’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun loving faces” I drew one of my knives.

I heard Rainbow shout, “What did you do with our princess?” I took aim. My art perfected over centuries of boredom.

“Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?” The blade sliced of part of her mane as it passed, a perfect shot. I followed it down, landing straight legged inches from her nose. The floorboards cracked under the impact, Nightmare Moon cracked under my glare. And I was glaring this time. This was my town, and I was not going to let her harm one hair on their heads.

“What magic is this? We have faced gryphons before but thou carry thyself as if thou were a great army of demons!” ‘Oh god, it’s the enforcers all over again. They didn’t even talk like that a thousand years ago!’ I had actually faced an army of demons, I ate them. I was tired of this, time to remind the world why a town was founded in my shadow.

“Nightmare Moon, you are trespassing in my town. Too many have failed to heed this warning and ended up as stains on my talons. Leave, now.” ‘Oh, she broke out of her fear. That’s a new record.’ I was lifted into the air in a field of telekinesis before it split into two, one on my head the other on my body. She was going to decapitate me, I immediately grew small eyes and ears on my chest that would be hidden by my feathers.

“You dare to question our authority? You dare to show such disrespect? I’ll teach all of you what happens when you cross me.” My headless body hit the ground, my head landing nearby. I could hear that laughter and claims that the night would last forever, then everything went silent as I stood up. I couldn’t see much, but I could hear more than a few jaws hit the floor. I picked up my head and placed it back on my shoulders, returning my sight and hearing to their previous capabilities.

“I am cursed to walk this world until it ends, nothing you can do will harm me. Now, this town ain’t big enough for the both of us, and I’ve killed worse than you’ll ever be. Get out of my sight.” She dissolved into shadows and fled faster than anyone could blink. Although, I suppose seeing an enemy reattach their severed head would rattle anyone. “Twilight, you’ve done more research into this than anyone. Meet me at the library and we’ll figure out how to fix this mess.”
> Chapter 4: Shadows of the Past
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight beat me to the library. Presumably to put Spike to bed, little guy had passed out when Nightmare Moon showed up. Probably for the best that he didn’t see what happened after. As I approached the, still living, hollow tree I suppressed a chuckle. It amazed me how no one ever questioned this impossible building, even in Equestria trees die when you hollow them out. 

The reality of the situation was that this “tree” was part of one of my Leviathans, another type of bioform I created specifically to protect small towns like this. I only made three of them however, mostly because of the insane amount of biomass and time required to form them in the first place, but also because they’re weird. They follow their orders well enough, but developed unique personalities and unforeseen abilities very quickly. This one for example believes all of the townsponies are its children and took over all of the decorative vegetation to watch over them. It has also figured out how to vibrate the leaves of those plants in order to play music, I consider this one the most sane.

Appleoosa’s leviathan demanded that I “bask in the glory of the Tree King.” At this rate, if I had made another it would have declared itself “King of the Squirrels” or something.

“Did you see her face when Bestie put his head back on? She was all like ‘whaaat.’ Or, or when he dropped down and made his scary face right in her face? Ooh, he should have kissed her, she’d probably still be frozen there.” ‘Shit, I should’ve thought of that.’ It seemed I was being followed, and Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie. 

‘How long had Celestia been crafting this little plan? The number of factors and variables required to get these six together at just the right time, it’s impossible. It fell into her lap, coincidence, it had to be. No one is that good.’ I would be having words with a certain diarch later. I was so lost in this train of thought and the implications therein that I walked beak first into the door of the library. I made a note to apologize to the leviathan later, maybe even give it a name.

As I entered the library, ignoring the laughing ponies that followed me in, I found Twilight desperately searching through a number of books repeating the word ‘elements.’ It seemed she had already figured out how to win this fight, provided Rainbow didn’t attack her for being a “spy.” This made my job easier, all I had to do now was keep them alive. All it took was a nudge and a gesture to Pinkie for the group to have all the information they needed. ‘Oh look, they’re even lined up according to their dominant attributes.’

“The last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, it is located in what is now the Everfree Forest! What are we going to do? It’s all happening just like you said Mr. Defense.” 

“Just call me Best, it’s faster. And no, it isn’t. This is the unexpected, and this is the time when you have to stand up to those who would see you fall. This is the time when you dig in your heels.”

“We don’t have heels,” damnit Pinkie.

“Don’t interrupt, I’m on a roll. When you dig in your heels and say ‘no more,’” I finished, “Now, get your gear and meet me at my cabin. I can get you to that castle.”

It didn’t take them long to gather by the edge of the forest, I had ducked inside to grab my old sword and then waited for them to arrive. I missed the days when this blade meant something, a symbol of my rank. I drew a few looks as the others noticed the blade across my back, none of them had ever seen it before.

“Okay, we’ve got a mile before we hit the end of the safe zone. But we shouldn't run into any of the locals tonight, even in the red zone,” I said, genuinely expecting this to be an easy hike.

“Oh, yeah? Then what’s with the new kit?” Rainbow asked suspiciously.

“This sword is older than your great-grandparents. If we run into Nightmare again she’ll likely back off once she sees it,” I answered simply.

Now it was Twilight’s turn to speak up as we set off, “Is it some sort of lost magical artifact? I’d love to catalog it.”

That statement ran down my spine like a lightning bolt, “Not on your life, being in a museum would ruin everything this blade stands for. Although, maybe I’ll tell you its history someday. Nah, you’d have more fun researching it. This is Cataclysm, reforged to fit my stature.” 

“Who names ah sword?” AJ asked, her interest peaked.

“Who names a tree?” I joked, “besides, it used to be a pretty common thing.”

Twilight’s head spun to look at me, “Hey, that reminds me, what was all that stuff you said earlier about being over a thousand years old and being cursed to live forever? You can’t possibly be that old and everypony knows curses don’t exist.”

“Ask your mentor, she’s known me almost the whole time. And I’m not a pony, that’s racist.”

Now she just looked confused, “I’ll do that, but so many mages over the years have tried to figure out eternal life, why do you call it a curse?” Captain Oblivious here didn’t manage to see everyone else waving her off this topic. 

“I’ve buried everyone I’ve ever cared about.” Twilight’s hoof rose to her mouth so fast she almost tripped.

“Oh.”

“Tarnation Twi, all them books and ya couldn’t ah figured that one out,” AJ said, facehoofing.

“As I recall, AJ, you walked into the same tree,” I said with a smile, letting them all know I hadn’t taken any offense.

As the group quieted down, we set off into the forest, however it wasn’t long before Fluttershy spoke up, as much as she ever did, “Um, excuse me, I think we’re being followed.” At this, the six disguised enforcers following us stepped out of the bushes. Suddenly I had four ponies competing for real estate on my shoulders. The exceptions being Rainbow, who jumped into the air and hovered out of a timber wolf’s reach, and Fluttershy, who knew about me and my enforcers. Shy had figured out my disguise on her first day in Ponyville, as I was delivering a housewarming pie no less. That girl missed her calling, not even gryphon doctors could tell I wasn’t a real gryphon, she could have been one hell of a physician.

Fortunately after being scolded for lying and subsequently explaining myself, she agreed that I should stay hidden as Best Defense. 

“Calm down, they’re with me,” I said placatingly, “This pack helps me out sometimes.” 

That got their attention. One by one they climbed down and slowly approached the “timberwolves,” who did not acknowledge anyone but me. Even when Pinkie decided it would be fun to try and ride one, it did not move. I understood immediately what this meant, something had gone wrong. 

I followed one of the enforcers out of sight and hissed, “What happened?”

“The route has been compromised by unknown entities, estimated threat levels ‘A’ through ‘C.’ Recommendation: divert to alternate route,” the enforcer responded in their usual over-militarized speech.

“I see, return to your positions, we’re pressing forward,” As soon as they had appeared, the enforcers had vanished into the trees, “Girls, we’re going to have some company up ahead. Let’s see what you’re made of.”

And so we passed through what could only be trials designed for each member of our little group. The cliff face collapsing was easy enough to handle, those of us with wings simply grabbed the rest and carried them down. Then Shy managed to make friends with a manticore before I could kill it, so I threatened it into becoming a vegetarian in exchange for the ability to cross through my territory to visit its new friend. I had no idea why they started screaming at the trees though, Pinkie had to go into a song and dance number to break them out of it. Then we had to cross the river, which is where we ran into Steven.

Steven Magnet the sea serpent, no respect for boundaries of any kind: personal or territorial. I could have forgiven that though, but not the blood on his breath. It wasn’t from Ponyville, there hadn’t been any disappearances, likely one of the coastal cities. I held my tongue, waiting for the others to figure out their test and get out of sight. I was not expecting Rarity to cut off her own tail for Steven to use as a mustache. They couldn’t have been more different, Rarity would cut off pieces of herself to help a stranger, whereas Steven would have eaten them all by now if I wasn’t glaring at him.

Once the girls crossed the river and made it into the woods, I called the big lizard down, “I swear by whatever you consider holy, Steven, if you call me cute I will end you. You remember I can smell blood, right?”

His face fell, “Yeah, I do,” his ridiculous accent had disappeared.

“What happened to the fish, Steve? I gave you this chance for old time’s sake, and you’ve thrown it away.” Sea serpents live for hundreds of years. Steven and I had been friends for the last hundred, but it hinged on Steven giving me his word that he wouldn’t eat anything that could talk. 

“It just isn’t the same Best, there’s something about intelligent prey that gives the taste a certain quality I can’t get anywhere else.”

“This is the last favor I’m doing you, Steve, get out of my sight. Get as far from here as you can. If I see you again, I’ll kill you.” I think it was my resigned tone that scared him the most. That was the last time I ever saw my old friend Steven.

It took me less than a minute to catch up to the others, however I did not blend seamlessly back into the group as I had hoped. Rarity in particular wondered what I had been talking to her new friend about. This was a problem I had never faced in all my years, how do you tell someone you just evicted their friend?

“I just evicted your friend,” they say there is elegance in simplicity.

‘They’ are wrong. I was met with a storm of upset shouts, all questioning why. Except Rarity, Rarity didn’t say anything, she just cried. 

“I’m sorry girls, I promise I had a good reason and that it was the best option.”

Once again, Twilight spoke up when the rest backed down. “And what could Steven have done to deserve that?”

“Now Twi, ah know ya haven’t been ‘round that long. But when Best says he’s got a good reason, it usually means we don’t wanna know,” AJ warned.

“We need to keep moving, if you really want to know you can ask me later,” If she was going to pester the information out of me, I could at least push it to a time when the others couldn’t hear.

Twilight accepted this with a promise of “later,” and we set off again. Not ten steps later we cleared the trees, the ruins of the old castle finally in sight. All that was left was to cross Ghastly Gorge. Even with the bridge collapsed, this shouldn’t be too much trouble for them. I’d handle the moving shadows.

Nightmare Moon coalesced from the darkness, cutting off our path to the bridge. “You foals, did you really thing I would allow you the opportunity to reach the Elements? You will die this… What is that?”

Cataclysm had left its sheath for the first time in over half a millenia, “Do you not know this blade, corrupted one?” She flinched as if struck, that was a declaration of war.

“Iron Knight,” her voice shook, if only just. The Order of Iron was much older than me, and I had been betting on her being wary of their power. Outright fear was much better than I had anticipated.

“Iron Legate, actually. Get it right.” I took a step forward, she a step back.

“Were we at our full power we would strike your whole order from the face of Equis,” She said before evaporating back into shadows and flying into the ruins.

“Heard that one before,” I called at the retreating form.

“WHAT just happened? What is an Iron Legate? Or Kight? And why don’t I know any of these terms?” Twilight looked like she was about to blow a fuse. Parts of her mane were sticking up and one of her eyes was twitching. ‘Time to throw some gas on this fire.’

“The Order of Iron is, was, the elite honor guard of the Crystal Kingdom. Legate is about the same rank as captain in your Royal Guard.”

“But why haven’t I heard about any of this?”

“Come to think of it dear, why haven’t any of us heard about this?” Rarity added.

“Later, you have a job to do, but this is as far as I can go girls. The other side of that bridge is Jekyll’s territory,” I said. This left me with a lot of angry looks, the girls were not happy with being brushed off. Again. 

“Ponyfeathers, you mean we have to beat up Nightmare Moon AND Jekyll?” Rainbow said, incredulous. This brought the others back on track.

“Not likely, he might yell at you for fighting in his house, but I doubt he’ll get involved.” This seemed to calm them down a bit. Except Fluttershy, who just looked disappointed until I winked at her. There was no way I was sitting this out. 

I said my goodbyes, promising to meet them back in town, and set off back into the forest. Once I had traveled a few feet past the woodline I let out a low whistle, one of the enforcers stalking us appearing immediately. “Take my gear back to the house, I’m going to have some fun tonight.”

I shifted to my “natural” form once the enforcer was bounding off with my equipment, relishing in the feeling of being humanoid. It just felt right. After stretching and testing my ranges of motion, it had been a while, I set off for the castle. As I formed wings to carry me over the gorge, I could see the girls entering the ruins.


Perspective Change: Nightmare Moon
A few minutes later


You see Nightmare Moon. When those Elements are ignited by the, the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth Element. The Element of Magic!” 

Fear, we were feeling fear, again. Even without their freaky gryphon, these sun-lovers were winning. I still had one trick left though, and this time they’d get the point. The Elements immobilize the users, making them vulnerable to attack, so I leveled my horn towards the annoying, purple one and charged. A moment later I felt my horn sink through flesh and part bones, I had won. My precious night would finally last for all time.

“Huh, that actually hurt. Weird,” said a gruff voice from my right side. I opened my eyes to find a demon staring at me, its claw impaled on my horn and holding me back from achieving my vengeance. 


Perspective Change: Jekyll


Son of a bitch, that hurt. I was bleeding, I didn’t even know I could bleed. More things to worry about later. I quickly numbed the area and wrapped my other arm around Nightmare’s throat, lifting her front legs off the ground and effectively immobilizing her.

“Any day now, ladies. I may not age, but we’re not getting any younger.” Something was wrong. Whenever Celestia hit me with the Elements it only took a second, no longer than any other spell, but with these six it was taking much longer. ‘Of course it is, Chelly’s an alicorn, she has way more power than they do.’ I needed to stall. Unfortunately, Nightmare was not keen on waiting patiently.

As it turns out, Nightmare is much more athletic than her sister. She pulled off a standing back-flip to free herself from my grip and impaled hand. This was going to be fun after all, now to just keep her attention. I shifted my hands into claws, let out a roar, and charged. To an outside observer, it would appear that I was swinging wildly. I was tearing deep cuts in the walls and floor, cutting decorations to pieces, bits of blue mane littered the ground from near misses. Every swing easily dodged but followed by another, forcing Nightmare to remain on the defensive.

I held the advantage and the momentum of the fight, right up until a blast of telekinesis splattered me across the wall. I reformed myself with a leap and landed on Nightmare’s back, tackling her to the ground before she could get a shot off at the others. Quickly regaining her footing, she began throwing fire magic at me. She must have realized that she couldn’t hurt me with physical blows, and correctly assumed that I would have no immunity to fire. This meager amount wouldn’t kill me, but it still hurt. 

The light from the Elements brightening signaled that it was time for me to wrap this up. I darted in, faster than I had moved the whole fight, and stopped fractions of an inch from Nightmare’s face. She lashed out with a hoof in surprise and I unleashed my secret weapon. As soon as her hoof made contact, thousands of tiny tendrils flooded into her system. I was tempted to consume her then, as I would finally gain the ability to use magic, but I held back. My tendrils locked her muscles and joints in place, playtime was over. As an afterthought, I turned her head away from the building Elements. It wouldn’t stop her from casting spells, but it’s really hard to hit what you can’t see.

“You lose, bitch.” The world went white. I retracted my tendrils, they were no longer necessary. I could feel my body trying to convert into stone, but with the help of diamond dog and dragon DNA I simply converted it back to normal at the same rate. ‘Wish I could figure out how to fireproof myself.’

It was over in a moment, the light faded, and Nightmare Moon was gone. In her place, a new alicorn I barely recognized as Luna struggled to even sit up. She was barely larger than the average pony, and it was hard to imagine that this had been my opponent not a minute ago.
She looked nothing like the figure I had seen depicted in history books and paintings, they all showed her as being the same height as Celestia.

“So you’re Luna, eh? Welcome back to the land of the living,” I said slumping against the wall. I turned my attention on the new Element Bearers, “and what took you lot so damn long, I’ve never seen the Elements charge so slowly? I was starting to think you were waiting for that shit to come in the fucking mail!” I wasn’t actually angry, but I had a reputation to uphold.

“Well it had to be forwarded in triplicate and signed off on before we could actually fire the Elements, those things take time you know.”

“Goddammit, Pinkie,” I didn’t want to know, but I laughed anyway. I turned my attention back to Luna, who was wearing a look I did not like. The same look Celestia gave me when we first met, she was trying to figure me out. “See something you like?”

“You are a strange creature, a contradiction at every turn. You look like a demon, but defend our ponies and laugh with them. You are ferocious in combat, but held back to avoid harming me even though I was your enemy. You are crass, but your tone belies your pride in these six ponies. Please, tell me, who are you?” I was speechless for a moment, this was the fifth person on this world to ask that question. It still caught me off guard.

“I am a lost soul, far from home. I have been given the name Jekyll since I arrived in this place.” I remembered my manners, in light of the turn in the conversation. “If I may ask, are you feeling well? I admit, I do not know what side effects that last attack may have.”

This got the attention of the others, including one I had not realized had arrived. Celestia was here, and I could feel her gaze boring into me. Fortunately Luna spoke up before anyone else had the chance. 

“I am tired, though I suspect that has more to do with the Nightmare. Other than that I am fine. Thank you for your concern, Jekyll.”

“Anytime. Now, I believe I am holding up a family reunion. I will contact you in three days, we have much to talk about. And Chelly, I admit defeat.” This startled everyone until I continued, “I was wrong, you and your sister do move the sun and moon. I’ll honor our bet the next time I’m in Canterlot.”

“Jekyll, I never expected to be saying this, but thank you for being here,” said Celestia. ‘Might be able to clear my name, worth a shot.’

“Hey Chelly, could you do me a favor? Look back on everything that has ever happened between us, and ask yourself if you would act the same way today. Food for thought.”

“Alright, I suppose I can do that. Wait, what bet?”

I left without another word, I would only be intruding if I stayed. Besides it’s funnier for me this way. Once I entered the forest, I shifted back into Best Defense and took off towards my cabin. The dawn was breaking behind me as I flew. As I took a peak over my shoulder I couldn’t help but wonder, if Luna could come back from being basically dead, could they come back as well.

Celestia said they would, that they were only sealed away. Not everyone gets second chances, but I wish I could. I just hoped she wasn’t lying about this.
> Chapter 5: Everyone Deserves a Good Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The oncoming storm, I could hear it, I could feel it. No matter how fast I ran or how far I flew, I couldn’t escape this fate I had made for myself. Dopple was nowhere to be found. I was alone to face these six angry mares, I had no idea how to handle this. ‘How does Chelly do this all the time.’

An orange hoof kicked my door open, “Alright varmint, you’ve got a lot ta answer for.”

They all made their way inside, “I expected as much. Ask away, I will answer what I can.”

AJ went first, “What are ya doin’ runnin’ ‘round with timberwolves?”

“Really, all the implications you could draw from what I said last night, and you question my choice of pets?” I said flabbergasted. Time to lie through as much of this as possible, “I ended up becoming their alpha, and kept them around. Figured they’d be helpful, I was right.”

“Ah don’t like bein’ lied to.” ‘What the hell, how did she know?’

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But some secrets aren’t mine to tell. Would you accept it if I said it was a long and complicated story?” Technically true. Perhaps the Elements being concentrated in each of them are giving them new abilities? Celestia never called me out.

“No, but ah will accept that you’ve never done wrong by us. Even if you are hangin’ around them mangy critters,” Applejack relented. ‘Technically speaking, timber wolves are incapable of contracting mange.’

Rarity stepped forward but didn’t say anything. I rose a talon to my eyes and let out a long sigh before speaking, “Shy, Pinkie, and anyone else who doesn’t want to hear this, please step outside for a moment.” Fluttershy left immediately. Pinkie didn’t move until I sent a glare her way, then she walked out. The others didn't move, I had expected AJ to follow them out.

“I kicked Steve out because he was a monster. A real monster, a serial killer. Not just called a monster because of how he looks, like Jekyll. If I hadn’t been watching he would have killed and eaten all of you,” I explained, a defeated tone entering my voice. This was met with looks of horror and disbelief.

“That can’t be right, a dude that bad wouldn’t be crying over a mustache. Right?” Rainbow asked.

“He’s tellin’ the truth, ah can feel it,” AJ responded, her face devoid of emotion. ‘Symptom of shock, I should keep an eye on her.’

“Vanity does not make one incapable of being a criminal. We had been friends a long time, so I allowed him to live in the forest as long as he didn’t kill again. An attempt at rehabilitation, if you will,” I continued. I realized that letting Steven leave was a mistake, I should have killed him. I’d send an enforcer after him once we were finished here.

“But why’d you let him go?” Rarity looked pissed, though not at me.

“If Pinkie turned out to be a cannibal, could you kill her in cold blood? However, I have realized that letting him go has put more lives in danger, I will be hunting him down,” this was met with a series of saddened faces, even Rarity, as they realized the position I was in. The events of the previous night still fresh in their minds, reminding them how important friends are. 

I stepped over to the door to ask Fluttershy and Pinkie to step back in, only to find Fluttershy had gone home. Pinkie ignored my request and simply handed me an invitation to a “We saved the world” party and bounded off. I turned back towards the interior to find AJ, Rarity, and Rainbow asleep next to the fireplace, which was now lit. ‘I’ve run into a lot of firsts tonight, this isn’t one of them.’

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want them to be cold,” Twilight said as I walked past her to my chair. I waved her off with one talon while I found a cigarette with the other.

“There're some blankets in the cabinet, this actually happens a lot,” I responded as I lit my cigarette. “I believe you still had some questions to ask.”

“Several actually, starting with: why do you do that?” Twilight began.

“You don’t know what smoking is?” She shook her head, “Wow, okay, short version is that it trades years of your life for a temporary feeling of relaxation. It’s very toxic, but I can’t die and the natural air currents pull the smoke through the window behind me, so there’s no harm.” ‘Oh, here it comes.’

“But doesn’t that set a bad example for younger ponies?” 

“Hardly, I’m the only one who can get ahold of this stuff. Besides one hit won’t hurt you, though it makes a good disincentive to try it again,” I said turning the cigarette around. Twilight’s curiosity got the better of her and she took the cigarette from my talon with her magic, she even held out long enough to hand it back before she broke out into a coughing fit. 

AJ and Rainbow woke up long enough to see what was happening and each barked out a laugh before falling back asleep. They had been in the same position less than a year ago.

Twilight recovered slowly and continued to wheeze, “I would like ‘cough’ to reiterate my question.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret: it only hurts the first time,” I said quietly, not wanting the others to get any ideas.

“Alright, I think I’m okay,” she was visibly shaking, “Is it normal to feel lightheaded?”

“Yep”

“Okay, I’m good. But I still had some questions about the Crystal Empire.” ‘Single track mind.’

“Kingdom, it was called the Crystal Kingdom. Celestia started calling it the Crystal Empire after she decided it was ‘evil,’” I spat.

“But my books…”

“Look Twilight, who decides what goes in the history books? Oh she’s all friendly and shit now, but back in the old days, she was the real monster. Anything that caught her attention died during those times. She signed the death warrants for hundreds of thousands of civilians. Girls I know you’re awake, your breathing is wrong,” I ended without missing a beat. 

The others sat up stunned. Twilight looked ready to argue but I cut her off, “AJ, you’ve always wondered why I’m so mad at Celestia. It’s because she took everything from me, and didn’t have the decency to kill me too.”

“Liar,” I was about to lose my temper. I was fighting to keep my eyes from reverting to their natural red color, a habit I couldn’t seem to break.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” I said dangerously, rising from my seat and throwing my cigarette across the room, “and take this with you if you trust books so fucking much.” I tossed an ancient copy of ‘History of the Crystal Kingdom’ at her as she backed away. ‘Sombra would be pissed if he saw that. Before the kingdom fell, I had been asked to preserve as much of the city’s history as possible. I barely managed to save a dozen books.

“But my other questions?” 

“OUT!” I shouted at almost full volume, much louder that any real gryphon could achieve.

They tripped over each other as they fought to put as much distance between us as possible. I sat back down and adjusted my ears to hear what they were saying as they fled.

“Hey girls, hold up,” I could hear AJ say.

“What is it AJ?” There’s Rainbow.

“Somethin’ ain’t right, are y’all feelin’ any different since we got the Elements? Ah know ah can feel the honesty of everything everypony says. That’s the best ah can explain it.”

“Now that you mention it, I’ve got this feeling that Best is in trouble. Not like, that I know he’s upset, it’s something more.” ‘Interesting, Rainbow has a sort of radar for her friends it seems.’

“Thanks sugarcube, ah thought ah was goin’ crazy. Anyhow, ah couldn’t feel any dishonesty when Best was talkin’, ah think he was tellin’ the truth.” ‘Score one for Applejack.’

“Impossible, the princess would never do that. I’ve known her almost my entire life, she couldn’t kill ponies so heartlessly. She just couldn’t,” Twilight said, ever faithful to her mentor.

“That’s just it dear, you’ve known her for your entire life, but you haven’t known her for her entire life,” Rarity, surprisingly, said in my defense.

“I, I can’t think about this right now. I’m going to sleep, I’ll figure this out tomorrow.” I removed the modification to my hearing and leaned back in my chair, lighting another cigarette. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.


The next day


Two hydras, two of them. What was I supposed to do with all of this biomass? I already had more enforcers than I knew what to do with, there was no way I was creating another leviathan, and I was running out of places to bury the shit. Then I had an idea, there was a leviathan I still owed an apology to. 

It took me the better part of an hour to drag the biomass back to a clearing near the cabin. Then it was a simple matter of heading into town and telling a bush to meet me in the aforementioned clearing without getting caught. I could feel the ground shifting slightly as I walked back, letting me know I had spoken to the right plant. Once I returned to the clearing I found what looked like a skinless human head on a tree trunk waiting for me. ‘Damn that’s creepy.’

“You called me, honey?” the leviathan said in a rather effeminate voice. 

“Yeah, got a couple presents for you. That biomass is yours, use it however you want, and your name is Jeffrey now.”

“Ooh, I get a name? Thanks hun, you always know how to make a leviathan feel special,” Jeffrey said before absorbing the biomass and sinking back underground.

“Hey Dopple,” I called, knowing he wouldn’t be far.

“Yes, sir,” Dopple said as he appeared from behind some trees nearby. I noticed he had broken back out of the usual way enforcers talk, and was back to talking like he was my butler rather than my body double.

“Does it do that just to weird me out?” I asked.

“Yes, sir”

“I thought so, I’ve got some errands to run in Canterlot tomorrow. You’ll be in charge, as usual,” if Dopple was surprised by this, he didn’t show it. 

“I understand, sir”

“Excellent, I’m heading out early. See you when I get back,” I said before shifting my form into an extremely large raven and taking flight. I could shift into a normal sized raven, but I wouldn’t have been able to fly. Changing size doesn’t affect one’s weight, just one’s density, and a five hundred pound raven wouldn’t fly very far. I’d just have to fly higher than normal to create the illusion that I was a normal raven and keep anyone on the ground from panicking at the sight of a bird the size of a teenage dragon. Night would be setting in long before I reached Canterlot, so I wouldn’t need to worry about being spotted as I approached the city.

It was about midnight when I finally reached the mountainside city, I had abandoned my raven disguise and reformed into a winged version of my natural form not long after dusk. ‘Birds are itchy.' If my memory was correct, Luna used to run the night court. I made my way around the castle to the windows outside of the courtroom and latched onto the stonework, peeking through the window and finding a depressed looking Luna sitting alone. Even the complement of guards that were always present when Celestia was in court were absent.

Using a tendril to bore through the stone, I quickly and silently began to slide my biomass through the minuscule hole in the wall. Once I was on the other side I began climbing up the wall and across the ceiling. When I was directly above Luna I extended a tendril from my back and hooked it into the ceiling. Letting go of the ceiling with my other appendages, I swung freely for a moment before locking the tendril straight and beginning my descent. 

Not humming the “Mission Impossible” theme was the hardest thing I had ever done. I slowly descended into the mostly empty room until I was just out of Luna’s field of vision, at which point I decided to make myself known.

“Damn, I’m bored for you.”

The shriek that followed this statement, accompanied by the throne toppling over in one direction and Luna flopping on the ground in the other, caused a pair of guards to storm into the room. I could tell one was an officer, the other enlisted, but I could not make out their ranks from the position I was in. They both looked ready for a fight before they saw me hanging there.

“Geeze Jekyll, you almost gave me a heart attack,” said the officer, whose voice I now recognized.

“Sorry Lance, you know how much I love to make an entrance,” I replied, most of the guards knew me at this point. More importantly, they knew I wouldn’t hurt anyone and that they couldn’t stop me if I wanted to. 

“Jekyll, what art thou doing here? We were not expecting thou until the morrow,” Luna said as she stood up, apparently trying to play off my prank. The throne was surrounded in a telekinesis field and righted itself.

“I got bored, so I made my way over a little early. They say good friends always arrive early,” I replied. I lowered myself the rest of the way to the floor and reabsorbed the tendril attaching me to the ceiling. I made sure that there weren’t any marks on the ceiling or wall, property damage would be taking the prank too far.

“You would consider us friends? Thou hardly received a good first impression of us,” Luna asked Her face was a mask of mild interest, but I could see hope and surprise in her eyes. I also caught her verbal slip, she said ‘you.’

“You mean Nightmare? As far as I am concerned you are a different person altogether.” Her face didn’t move but her eyes lit up. “But can I ask what the deal is with the thee’s and thou’s?”

“Our, my apologies. I find myself speaking old Equestrian when I get nervous,” Luna’s mask finally broke, showing a nervous smile.

“What have you got to be nervous about, me? I mean, I suppose I am kind of intimidating.” I struck a pose not dissimilar from a child trying to look scary.

“Tis nothing,” Luna smiled but looked away from me.

“~Can’t help you if you don’t tell me~,” I sang.

“Do you take anything seriously?” Lance said from behind me. I forgot he was still here.

“Not if I can help it,” I replied without looking away from Luna.

“It’s all our little ponies. How can I call myself their princess, knowing that I tried to kill them?”

“You remember, then,” I said, my voice instantly serious, “I had hoped the Elements would remove your memories of being Nightmare Moon. I suggest you think of it as being possessed by a demon or something.”

“But that’s worse, it would mean that I am so weak as to become some monster’s puppet!” She was almost in tears.

“That only leaves one option, the truth. You need to accept that you went crazy from prolonged solitary confinement, and you need to ensure that it can’t happen again,” She was openly crying now.

“That’s what scares me. I don’t want be become that monster again, but nothing has changed. The ponies still sleep through the night. My duty to the crown will force me back into being alone.”

“You aren’t alone, Lance is standing right there.” I waved my arm towards where I thought the officer was standing.

“The guards may have to die to protect us. As such we are forbidden from taking them as friends, lest it affect our ability to make decisions on behalf of the nation.” ‘Damn, that was textbook. But it doesn’t sound right.’ I wondered about this, how could the land of ‘love and tolerate’ have such a coldhearted law?

“Two things. One: fuck that, you can make whatever friends you want. And two: I don’t sleep.” I said it, I just offered myself as a friend to my greatest enemy’s little sister. I began to doubt my sanity.

“I am immortal, immune to the passage of time.”

“Join the club.” The look on Luna’s face was priceless, I had swept aside every issue like so much dust. Lance and the unknown enlisted guard walked up and in unison nodded in my direction. I had the guard’s approval, something I had never before managed to attain.

Luna was still crying, but at least now she had a genuine smile to balance it out, “I accept your offer of friendship, thank you. Forgive me, it has been a long time since anyone has shown me such kindness.” I was beginning to find Luna’s life depressing.

“Of course, take your time.” I formed a reasonable excuse for a chair out of my back and sat down. Then after a moment of thought, added another pair of legs to my ‘chair’ and leaned back.

Once Luna had composed herself, she noticed the somewhat precarious position I was in. Suddenly my chair decided to break three of its legs, dumping me unceremoniously onto the floor. 

“Couldn’t just let you get away with scaring me earlier, now can I?” was the only apology I received or expected. I rose with a smile and absently sent a tendril to collect the broken fragments.

“I expected nothing less, though were I anyone else I could have been injured,” I warned, “So what should we do to pass the time?”

“We do not know, what do friends do these days?” Luna was getting nervous again.

“Shit, I don’t know. Picnics and things, I guess? When I arrived I had planned on giving you grief for your alter ego not being scary, at all,” I replied, throwing a bit of humor into my voice. ‘Hook.’

“Nightmare Moon was a threat to all life on the planet, I believe that counts for something,” Luna stated, somewhat indignantly.

“As if, I was built to destroy worlds. If a potential threat to the world counts for fear points, you should all be terrified of me,” rebuked smugly. Luna finally caught on to what I was doing, everyone loves a friendly competition, “I’d wager I can be scarier than Nightmare Moon with a musical number.” 'Line.'

“You’re on, except we are lacking a certain competitor,” Luna pointed out. 'And sinker.'

“Shapeshifter,” I replied, pulling a loose hair out of her mane and assuming her form. I discovered Celestia’s mane was still tangible during one of our fights, and it wasn’t much of a leap to assume Luna’s worked the same way. It took a moment but I successfully recreated Nightmare’s form and voice. Lance volunteered to judge our little competition, and before long a number of guards were present and exchanging bets. Luna even got in on some of the action. My little plan to get her out of her shell was going better than expected.

I began with a recreation of Nightmare’s speech from the town hall, then molded it to fit the situation, “Oh, my beloved subjects, it’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun loving faces. Did you foals really believe I could possibly be defeated so easily. Don’t you know who I am? Now that I have been freed from the prison of your princess, I am unstoppable, I am eternal, and the night shall last FOREVER!” 

A few applauded my performance, saying it would be impossible to beat. Even Luna acknowledged my speech was an accurate representation of how Nightmare Moon would have spoken to the assembled guards. ‘My turn.’ I shifted back into my natural form, added a pair of bat wings, and tested out playing a tune with them. If Jeffrey could play music, so could I. I spread my wings, started crying blood, and added some extra bioluminescence to my eyes. The sound of a guitar began to play and shortly after I started to sing.

I won. I may have overdone it though, a few guards had to collect their winnings from their unconscious comrades. Perhaps tearing holes in my chest and face was too far. The only ones clapping when my song ended were Luna and Lance. The rest shuffled backwards out of the room, apparently unwilling to look away from the “demon” in the room. ‘Great I’m back to “demon” status.’

“A well earned victory, friend. Though a lesser mare would accuse you of cheating,” Luna said as she approached me.

I absorbed my wings before responding, “I said a musical number, I delivered a musical number, where’s the cheating?”

“If you could compose such a terrifying song, you could have delivered a better speech,” she replied. I laughed.

“I didn’t write that song, it’s what I used to listen to back home. Besides that speech was mostly just a copy of what Nightmare actually said. All I did was play them both back,” I rebuked. Lance stumbled.

“You mean ponies where you’re from listen to music like that. Why? Don’t they have any happier songs?” he said, incredulous.

“There aren’t any ponies for starters, but we do have happier songs. We just also explore the darker side of music,” I explained.

We were broken out of our conversation by the sound of hooves clapping together. We turned towards the sound to find Celestia sitting in the other doorway into the courtroom, a serene look on her face. Why did I find this so unsettling?

“I for one found both performances entertaining, I think you missed your calling Jekyll. I’m tempted to offer you a job,” Celestia said.

“I’ll pass, I have a job. If you haven’t lied to me, I’ll have two in a few more years,” I responded coldly, “Have you done as I asked?”

“I have. And I believe my actions, while unwarranted at first, have been justified by time.”

“I’m confused. Perhaps you could explain to me how you can justify creating two extinction level threats in less than ten years?” I asked, my voice dropping into a deadly calm.

“And what threats would those be? I don’t see any.”

“First, the Nightmare, then me. I could have been a powerful ally, until you threw that chance away.”

“You, a threat? You’re joking. Any real threat to Equestria wouldn’t be sitting in my court, entertaining my guards. That’s a court jester’s job.” Celestia was just pissing me off now.

“Are you trying to pick a fight with me, Chelly? I’ve been giving you the benefit of the doubt, thinking you had changed ever since you embraced the concept of making friends. I realize now that I was wrong,” I tensed to pounce, my claws forming. I showed mercy before, I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

“Stop, both of you!” Luna’s voice rang out, “Tia, you are spitting on father’s teachings.” Celestia flinched as if struck. “Jekyll, I may not know much about friendship, but I believe it is poor conduct to attack the other’s family.”

“You’re right, I forgot myself for a moment. My apologies to both of you,” I said civilly, shifting my claws back into hands. 

“Luna, if you knew what this monster has done, you would not be questioning me,” Celestia argued.

“Take a fucking joke, Chelly. I’ve never murdered anyone, wish you could say the same, bitch,” I interjected.

“Is that so? Let us see a list of these crimes, then,” Luna proposed.

“A detailed one, that lists my actions, if you could,” I added.

A thick scroll appeared with a “snap,” immediately getting caught and unrolled in Luna’s telekinetic field. Several minutes passed without Luna moving more than her eyes and the scroll. Celestia moved a cushion across the room and sat down, I simply stood. Once Luna finished reading, she turned to me, “And your grievances against Celestia?”

Keeping with what seemed to be the theme of the night, I formed a roll of pale skin with the information printed on it via a darker pigment, “Kinda macabre, but it’s the best I can do on such short notice.”

“It will serve just fine, thank you.” A few more minutes passed, "Jekyll, none of these events seem to involve you."

"I can defend myself, the individuals on that list could not," I explained.

“I understand. Celestia, is this accurate?”

Celestia took the skin-scroll hesitantly, she didn’t seem used to having to explain her actions. That or she didn’t like the look of the scroll itself. She nodded after a few moments.

“It would seem I cannot afford the luxury of going insane again, if this is what happens when I’m gone. Nay, I can not take holidays at this rate! Sister this is an offense against everything Equestria stands for, this farce of a criminal record pales against your war crimes. Have we at least paid reparations to the Gryphon Isles?” Luna was pissed, I was ecstatic. I had a real chance of finally living openly, I was so happy I wanted to dance. And I hated dancing. Celestia shook her head.

“I would like to mention that I wasn’t in the Gryphon Isles when you invaded, I had already moved to the Everfree,” I said sadly. Thousands had died during that pointless crusade, mostly ponies. Part of the reason my gryphon disguise worked so well was because gryphons have a remarkably human attitude towards most things, specifically an American or German mindset. They are a technically skilled race, with a strong military mindset and they don’t take invasions very well. Celestia’s eyes widened for a moment, before returning to their blank stare. 

“I see, I shall contact the gryphon ambassador and ensure proper reparations are paid out of the royal coffers. Furthermore,” the parchment detailing my ‘criminal’ record burst into flame, “By my power as a princess of Equestria, the individual known as Jekyll is officially pardoned of all alleged crimes. Return to bed sister, I have much work to do cleaning up this mess.” I was surprised to see Luna standing up to her sister, perhaps all she ever needed was a little support to come into her own.

Celestia left, the only sound being her hooves striking the ground. I could have kissed Luna in that moment, instead I waited until Celestia had left the room before tackling her in a hug. However, as my arms wrapped around her neck I noticed that she had grown while lecturing her sister, and they were now the same height. I had tackled Celestia enough times with malicious intent to know. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

If I had tear ducts in my current form, I would have cried. 

“Uh, should I still be here?” ‘Oh shit, Lance was here the whole time.’ He had to be the most forgettable stallion on the planet. I had perfect short and long term memory, but I always forgot he existed. Now that I thought about it, his smell was off too. I recognized the scent but couldn’t place where I had caught it before. I would need to look into this later.

“I suspect not, but as you are anyway, you may as well take a missive to be sent throughout the guard that Jekyll has been pardoned,” Luna said from underneath me. A scroll and quill appeared next to my head and a message was scribbled out before the scroll floated towards Lance, who promptly tucked it under a wing and ran out of the room. I was rather content where I was. Though something was still nagging at me.

“Hey Luna,” I said quietly. I could feel her neck heat up.

“Yes Jekyll?”

“Why are you taller?” I asked, ignoring the obvious symptoms of a blush.

“I have returned to my natural size, I do not know why. Though if I were to hazard a guess, it would be the return of my confidence,” she responded, “Could I ask a favor of you, please?”

“Of course.”

“Could you please get off of me, I’m finding it rather difficult to breath.” Not a blush, suffocation. I stood up immediately and helped Luna to her feet. I had forgotten I weighed around five hundred pounds despite my somewhat thin frame. Something was definitely messing with my memory.

“Right, sorry about that. This has been the best night I’ve had in a very long time, what should we do next?” I asked the mare who had, in less than an hour, cemented herself as my new best friend.

“Well I need to have an appointment request sent to the gryphon ambassador, then I’m stuck in this room until dawn,” she replied, a bored tone creeping into her voice. I had an idea, not my best, but it would work.

“Alright I’ve got a plan, you handle your paperwork and I’ll have everything ready when you get back,” I said. Luna agreed and left to find an aid while I set about making a deck of cards and poker chips. The hard part was getting the cards thick enough that you couldn’t see through them without turning brittle. I finished the set right as Luna walked back in.

“Oh, what is this? Some sort of game?” She asked, spying the cards I was shuffling.

“Near infinite, actually,” I had her attention.

“Really? How does it work?”

“There are fifty-two cards, four suits of thirteen. The cards are numbered two through ten plus the jack, queen, king, and ace, those are the face cards. The ace can be higher than the king or lower than the two, it depends on the game,” I explained, “we’ll start out with the simplest, it’s called ‘War,’ I’ll explain as we go.”

And so we played “War” and eventually moved into “Texas Hold ‘Em” before too long. We were still there when the dawn finally arrived and Celestia with it. Neither Celestia nor Luna said a word to each other as the solar diarch took the throne and the lunar diarch and I absconded. 

“What should we do now?” Luna asked as we wandered the castle. I had noticed Luna mimicking a number of my mannerisms throughout the night, even calling me a “rat bastard” after losing to a full house. I wondered briefly whether I was a bad influence or if she was just making an attempt at being more open and informal. But I had an idea, a terrible idea. An idea I mentally, and physically, slapped myself for not thinking of earlier. 

"Hey Luna, did you get a proper reception when you came back?" I asked, ignoring her concerned look at the sight of me hitting myself. I began leading us towards the nearest exit.

"Well I don't know what you're implying, but I did attend a brief meeting with the council of advisers shortly after I arrived," Luna replied, confused.

"Doesn't count. But I happen to know of a few businesses that will open their doors for a party." I was definitely a bad influence. I noticed a group of three guards, one from each of the main races, making their way in the same direction as we were, "Hey guys, we're heading to Luna's 'welcome back' party. You in?"

"We aren't really the partying type," one of them, the unicorn, said snidely.

"Open bar."

"We're in," they called in unison. 'Gets 'em every time.'

"Jekyll, what does 'open bar' mean?" Luna asked.

"Free booze."

"Booze?"

"Alcohol, Luna, you really are sheltered? Aren't you?" I responded, laughing.

"But members of the royal family are forbidden from imbibing alcohol." This was met with laughter from both me and the guards. "What is so funny?"

"No disrespect princess, but you obviously haven't seen your sister's wine cabinet," the unicorn guard replied. Luna went rigid.

"Jekyll?"

"Yes?"

"What was that word you used earlier?"

"Bitch?"

"That bitch!" Luna shouted, her voice louder than I had ever achieved. Looking down, I found furrows carved into the stone from where her voice had pushed me backwards. 'Damn, Fus Ro Dah much?'

"I take it you're down for getting fucked up?"

"Quite."

Not another word was spoken as we made our way out of the castle. Internally however, I was laughing my ass off. Once we finally made our way out of the castle, one of the guards, the pegasus this time, asked where we were going.

“I own ‘The Dead Crabs Tavern,’ it’s the only place I can guarantee will be open at this time of day,” I answered. It was around seven in the morning.

“The manticore bar on the east side?” the unicorn guard asked.

“What’s a manticore bar?” Luna asked, confused.

“Where I’m from we call them ‘dive bars’ or ‘coyote bars,’ I explained, “Basically, you’re likely to wake up next to some mare so ugly you chew your leg off rather than wake her up. Manticores and coyotes do the same thing to escape traps. I happen to find the atmosphere rather relaxing.”

Now they were laughing at me. ‘But they’re all still here.’ As we made our way up to the door of the bar, the unicorn guard pulled a cone shaped device out of his armor and placed it on his horn.

“Seriously, you carry that at work?” I asked.

“Jekyll, what is that device?” Luna interjected before the guard could answer.

“They block the wearer from using magic, unicorns use them when they get drunk to keep them from doing anything stupid,” I explained before receiving blank stares from the other two guards, who pulled similar cones out or their armor, “And for law enforcement apparently, learn something new every day.” 'Well, don't I feel like an asshole.'

I shifted one of my fingers into the door key while Luna attempted to get one of the remaining restriction cones onto her horn, it wasn’t going well. Normal unicorns have horns about two inches long with rounded points, Luna’s was easily eighteen inches long and significantly sharper. I felt a phantom pain in my right hand. 

“I do not believe this will work,” Luna said, giving up and returning the cone to its owner.

“Got ya covered,” I replied, tossing a glob of biomass onto her horn. It rapidly hardened into bone, blocking off even alicorn level magic.

“Eauch, what is this?” she said, shaking her head in an attempt to dislodge the biomass. 'The fuck was that sound?'

“That, is what inspired the magic restriction cones,” I explained, “Used it on your sister a while back and some enterprising inventor got wind of it.” ‘Best if I don’t say how long it took Chelly to get it off.’

“I see, and how long exactly did my sister spend restrained like this?” ‘Shit.’

“Two days,” I said meekly.

“Art thou serious? Jekyll, we cannot spend two days in this state!” ‘There goes all our progress with her verbiage.’

“Calm down Lu, I’m a lot faster at these kinds of things than some idiot with a file.” She didn’t look very reassured, “I rearrange my bones all the time, this is no different.”

I ignored Luna’s skeptical look and opened the door, calling out to the bar’s only employee, “Hey Keep, break out the good shit, we’ve got company!”

“So this is the Dead Crabs, never actually been 'ere before.” The earth pony guard commented.

“Looks like no one has in a while,” The pegasus added.

“Nah, this place always looks like this. It’s a dump, always has been,” The unicorn answered.

“Jekyll, I must agree. This establishment resembles a garbage heap more than any tavern,” Luna said, eyeing a stool with distaste.

“It didn’t look like this the last time I was here, it seems my lack of oversight was a mistake. Where the hell is Keep?” I began looking for the bartender, an old donkey who lost his last bar to one of Celestia’s witch hunts. I found him in the back room, laying still on his bed. Too still. After a moment of investigation, I returned to the others, “Keep’s dead, guys.”

“Oh dear, what happened?” Luna asked, concerned.

“He was old, looks like he died in his sleep. A few days ago, judging by the smell.”

“Well there goes the party,” the pegasus said somberly. ‘Someone’s an alcoholic.’

“Perhaps not. If you three can get the body taken care of, I can get this place cleaned up and bring in some new staff.” I offered, an idea forming.

“Yeah, we can do that,” the unicorn responded, leading the others towards the door.

“Wait, I never got your names,” I said, prompting them to turn back towards me.

“I’m Green,” The unicorn answered.

“And I’m Bluff, the quiet one’s Doll,” the pegasus added, gesturing towards the earth pony with a wing.

“What can I do?” Luna asked.

“Fast-track anything that gets held up with these three, I’ve got the rest covered.” With that we were off, each on our assigned tasks. I didn’t have far to go, I found my target in the alley across the street from the tavern. A pony wrapped in rags propped against the wall facing the tavern. Of course, I wasn’t looking for a homeless pony, I was looking for one with red eyes. 

“What squad are you with?” I asked, ignoring the surprised look on the enforcers face.

“Gamma-three, sir. Are you aware that your primary disguise is not in place, we are in quadrant solar-echo?” the enforcer responded.

“I have been pardoned, I need no longer hide. I need one of your squad to head back to Dopple and have him send a renovation team to the Dead Crabs as soon as possible.” I ordered.

“My squad can do it, sir” the enforcer volunteered.

“Alright, you’ve got the job. Send one anyway though, I want this done right.” I turned and went back inside the tavern without waiting for a response. I helped myself to a particularly termite infested table as I waited for the enforcers to arrive. I didn’t have to wait long before five enforcers in their natural forms charged in and lined up to receive their orders. I set them on various tasks with instructions to take further orders from the professional crew that would be arriving shortly. The natural appearance of the enforcers would cause most creatures on the planet to pause in fear and curiosity. They looked like a cross between a diamond dog and myself, but more hunched over and with no skin. Dopple and a few of the other originals were actually made out of diamond dogs I had caught trying to capture ponies for slave labor. 

Luna and the others returned before the renovation team arrived. The look on their faces, seeing me sitting on a rotten chair surrounded by other “demons” who were manically cleaning every inch of the tavern, were priceless. Especially the mortician and his aid, who refused to enter the building until Luna began poking me in the head with her hoof to show that he was in no danger. The renovation crew arrived as the mortician was leaving with Keep’s body, scaring the poor pony even further. The renovation team took charge of the other enforcers and the Dead Crabs looked like a completely new building in a matter of minutes. 

“Thanks for the help guys,” I said, addressing the renovation team. I turned to the normal enforcers, “You guys stay, I’m redesignating you as squad Server-one. I’ll need some reliable staff to run this place.”

“Understood, sir,” they chorused.

“Good, now bring up the good Zebracan bourbon and the Prench wine. Oh, and grab my cigars, they’re in a box next to the keg of Gryphonian lager. Bring that too,” I ordered, sending three of the enforcers sprinting for the door to the basement. ‘Always so eager to please.’

“Celestia’s teats, that’s the ‘good shit?’” Green said, amazed, “Gryphonia hasn’t even existed for two hundred years, and you have a keg of their beer?”

“I have some mead King Half-Shield of Minos gave me, if you’d prefer?” I waved an enforcer to the task before he could reply.

“I knew Half-Shield!” Luna exclaimed, “His gifts of mead were famous for their strength.”

“I’ve been saving it for a special occasion, I think this qualifies,” I said, smiling.

“We need to hang out more,” Green said, the others nodded dumbly.

“Hey Bluff, why don’t you get some more of your buddies? Five people is hardly a party,” I suggested, the first set of enforcers were returning with some of the most expensive liquor on the planet. Bluff didn’t wait to be told twice, spreading his wings he sped out of the tavern and into the morning air.

“What was that about my sister, Green?” Luna asked innocently. Green gulped loudly, Luna was between him and the exit. I just laughed, he had dug his own grave.

“Lemme get this straight, we’re drinkin’ to the princess's return, Jekyll bein’ pardoned, and Green’s funeral?” Doll said, speaking for the second time. I hit the floor, but I wasn’t alone. Luna and, shockingly, one of the enforcers had also collapsed from laughing too hard. Green just looked happy to be alive.

I addressed the enforcer on the ground, “Congratulations, you’re Server-Actual now. ‘Till I come up with a name for you, anyway.”

“Thank you, sir. I won’t let you down,” the enforcer replied happily, jumping back to its feet.

“Hey Jekyll, am I reading this wrong or did you just reward that guy for disobedience?” Green asked, obviously trying to shift the collective attention onto me.

“Just call me Jay, man. All my friends do. And to answer your question, sort of. See, all of the enforcers start out with as much personality as a brain-damaged ant. I make a point to reward those few that break out of this and develop their own personalities. I don’t want a bunch of mindless slaves, I’m trying to create an intelligent group of warrior-scholars,” I explained.

“That leaves me with even more questions,” Luna said, confused. She returned to her hooves before asking, “You created them? And to what end?”

“Yes they could be considered my children, though I find that thought rather disturbing. And I created them to defend the populace against any threat of world ending proportions. Each of them are second only to me in raw power, and there were five of them ready to back me up during my fight with Nightmare Moon. They usually travel in packs of six,” I answered, “But enough talk, we’re here to celebrate! Where’s the first round?”

An enforcer scurried over with a tray of wine glasses. The scent informed me that the wine had not turned to vinegar, a real fear with vintages this old. We each sat down and took a glass, the restriction cones didn’t block the magic ponies used to grip objects with their hooves.

“A chilling thought, but you are correct. A toast! To new friends!” Luna began.

“To new beginnings,” Green continued.

“To the memory of the late guard Green,” I finished, jokingly.

“Not funny.” ‘It was funny.’

“I thought it was funny,” Doll said.

“Don’t you guys start without us,” Bluff said as he stepped back into the tavern, a sizable group of off-duty guards right behind him. This was the first time I had ever seen the Dead Crabs this full. No one minded being served drinks by the enforcers, they joked and laughed with them the same as any other tavern. Server-Actual even shifted into the form of a pegasus model featured in a magazine one of the guards had on hand. More and more of the enforcers were developing personalities, so I gave them all permission to name themselves whatever they wanted. Luna sampled each of my wares before she decided on the Zebracan bourbon, the least expensive of my rare liquors, and never looked back. I adjusted my alcohol tolerance to a realistically high level and locked it in place. 

And so began a party none of us would remember, with friends we would never forget. The best kind, in my experience. 'Today was a good day.'
> Chapter 6: Trouble on the Horizon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Later that day


I regained consciousness with a low groan. I assumed the party had been fun, as I couldn’t remember any of it. ‘Always a good sign.’ The first thing I noticed was that, for the first time since arriving in Equestria, I had woken up in a bed. The second was that I was laying on a leg. 

I grew an eyestalk out of my shoulder to get a better view of my surroundings. Evidently I had not gotten far, as I recognized the room as being in one of the upper floors of the tavern. What caught my attention though, was the owner of the leg I was still laying on. I had been sleeping on Luna. As I lay there contemplating the life choices that led to me being “the ugly mare,” I felt Luna stir. 

“Is this the part where I gnaw my leg off,” I heard her say groggily. I absorbed the eyestalk and slowly made my way into a seated position.

“Won’t be necessary this time, I’m already awake,” I said softly.

“Oww, my head. Please stop shouting,” she groaned, holding her head in her hooves.

I reached over and placed a hand on her neck, extending a number of tiny tendrils into her veins and dumping just enough water into her system to counteract her hangover. The trade off was that it took from my own hydration level, making my hangover worse. “That ought to help, I’m going to get some water.”

“Eh,” a hoof waved in my direction. I staggered into the bathroom, missed the sink, and ended up in the bathtub. 

“Fuck you, gravity,” I said as I slapped at the control for the faucet, eventually turning on a stream of bitterly cold water. “Fuck you too, water.”

I flopped out of the tub once I had absorbed enough water, now I just had to wait until I didn’t feel like I was dying. Shitty part of being a shifter, every cell doubles as a neuron. I was basically one big brain, hangovers sucked. Luna found me on the floor, cussing at everything I could see. 

“Jekyll, I have some questions.” At least Luna was feeling better.

“Please talk softly, my everything hurts. Also, fuck you and your stupid hangover, see if I ever do some dumb shit like that again,” I replied like a true gentleman.

“About that, did you take my headache?” It sounded like she was screaming in my ear, but the pain was beginning to dull. I would be fine in another minute or two.

“Yeah, I did. Like a dumbass,” came my reply.

“Well thank you, but if I may ask for one more thing? Could you remove this infernal thing from my horn, I believe I shall be required to raise the moon soon?” A tendril flopped in her general direction.

“Put that on the thing, it’ll do the rest.” I was feeling better, but there was no harm in messing with her a bit longer. My wings formed and extended, filling the small bathroom. 

“THEME MUSIC, FUCKERS,” I shouted to no one as a rather appropriate song began to play as loud as I could make it.

“Are you well?” Luna asked after the song ended. She looked torn between legitimate concern and wanting to laugh. She was still holding the tendril in her hoof.

“Yeah I’m fine,” I replied happily as I snaked the tendril up and absorbed the biomass blocking her magic, “There you go.”

“Jekyll, why were we sleeping in the same bed? Did something happen? Am I pregnant now?” Luna’s look of concern was edging into fear, that look is all that kept me from laughing.

“You really were sheltered, weren’t you? I’ll start with the most important: hahahahahah, no, you are not pregnant. It takes a bit more than sleeping in the same bed, besides I’m biologically incapable of having children the traditional way. Although now I’m imagining what the children would look like.” I shivered, imagining centaur-like enforcers with Luna’s mane.

“And the rest?”

“I have no idea why we were in the same bed but I’m fairly certain nothing happened.”

“But how can you be sure?” Luna asked, frantically.

“Because I’m not attracted to ponies,” I said simply. Luna’s face showed a mix of relief and disappointment. ‘Wait, disappointment?’

“Why are you disappointed?” I asked, confused.

“I’m not, what?” Luna stammered.

“Are you? You are. Why? I look like the thing that ate the boogieman,” I realized how harsh I was being, “Look, I’m sorry. I just don’t understand.”

“It is not so much as you assume, I admire your strength and character. I have yet to see you do anything for yourself. You have shown dignity on the face of my sister, even after everything she has done to you and those around you. A dignity I fear I would not have shown. Your very presence fills me with confidence, how I wish you were here before I became the Nightmare.” I didn’t deserve her praise.

“I’m not nearly as great as you’re saying. I’ve failed, so many times. Lost so many friends. I’ve seriously thought about destroying the world several times. Do you know that I crippled Celestia? Yeah, ripped the muscles out of her wings. She pins them to that harness she wears. I had Dopple go for her heart too, missed by less than an inch, she hides the scar under that chest piece. I’m no hero, Luna,” I replied angrily, stepping past her out of the bathroom and reaching for the door.

“Why?” Luna placed her hoof on the door, blocking me from opening it.

“Why, what?”

“Why did you maim my sister?” Luna asked.

“I don’t want to answer that,” I replied, my voice becoming dangerous.

“Too bad, answer the question and drop the attitude,” she ordered, no fear in her voice.

I sighed, calming myself before answering, “Please understand, this was right after Celestia took away my home and all of my friends for the second time. I had recently lost what I called my family, and I was in a dark place. I attacked your sister because she wouldn’t kill me.”

A hoof struck my face, knocking me into the wall and onto the floor. ‘Luna can punch like a pro!’ Luna stood over me, her face the very image of rage, “How dare you? You gave me a lecture on acceptance last night, here’s yours. You need to accept that you can’t save everyone. You need to accept that you can’t win every time. You need to accept that YOUR life matters to your friends. Everything I have seen you do has been for another’s sake, usually mine. That makes you a hero in my eyes, even if no one else sees you that way.” Clapping could be heard through the door.

“Thank you, I think I needed to hear that.” Luna stopped me from rising.

“Not so fast, the punishment for attacking a member of the royal family is summary execution.” Luna said as she brought her hoof down on my face, caving it in and disabling my sight and hearing until she removed her hoof from the ruins of my head so I could reform it.

“That didn’t hurt, you know,” I said once I was capable of doing so.

“Perhaps not, but I feel better,” came Luna’s sharp reply.

Green poked his head through the, now slightly open, door, “Uh, if you guys are done fighting, there’s something you should see.”

“What’s up Green?” I asked as I made my way to a sitting position.

“I’ve got Bluff and Doll working on it, but it looks like this is going to be tomorrow’s headline.” He handed a newspaper to me and retreated without another word, Luna peered over my shoulder at the headline.

The headline read: ‘Princess Luna Presumed Dead, Eaten by Monster’

Below was a picture of what was unmistakably Luna and I making out, “Jekyll, why did I try to eat your face?”

“I take it that was your first kiss then?” I said, looking over at Luna, whose coat had shifted from its normal midnight blue to a deep scarlet color.

“I think I miss being trapped in the moon, is that weird?” Luna asked, I was too caught by the headline to notice.

“Why are they saying I ate you? You’re the one who had her jaws all the way to my ears,” I laughed, until a serious thought made itself known, “Lu, I’m not so sure nothing happened after the party. Hey Green, are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here,” Green said through the door. Luna locked up, clearly running through scenarios of what could have happened at the party.

“Why don’t you come inside for a moment? We need to compare notes.”

“Uh, okay. I can do that,” Green said as he walked hesitantly through the door.

“Dude, why are you so nervous?” I asked the guard.

“After the wedding, the princess promised me a slow death the next time she saw me,” Green answered, his eyes never leaving Luna as she broke out of her shock. 

“Why would I say such things, Green?” Luna asked. Green jumped away, muttering apologies.

“Green, calm the fuck down. Neither of us remember much about last night, you’re safe,” I reassured.

“O-Okay, it’s because I was the worst bridesmaid ever,” he replied, his voice full of shame.

“You were a bridesmaid? For who?” I asked, fighting laughter and dreading the answer at the same time.

“For Princess Luna.”

“I got married! Oh, Tia will be so mad when she finds out. Does this make me a queen?” Equis to Luna, come in Luna. We’ve lost her. However, pieces were starting to fall into place in my mind, the situation was worse than I had imagined.

“Green I need you to tell me where this happened and who performed the ceremony,” I ordered, my voice as cold as ice.

Green was visibly shaking, “A bishop at the Sanctum of Light, on the north side.” The sanctums were the Equestrian version of the catholic church, but that’s almost all I knew.

“Fuck, it’s official. Do they allow annulments?” I was becoming frantic.

Green shook his head, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else, “Only if the ceremony wasn’t finished.”

“Why would I want to dissolve my marriage? I don’t even know who I married yet. Oh, I hope he’s handsome and brave and kind, a real gentlecolt.” Luna was caught in the moment, completely lost to the world. 

“You married me,” I said, I could almost hear her mind lock up.

Her head inched towards my direction. “What?” she hissed.

“We woke up in the same bed remember? That’s something newlyweds do.” I could see the gears turning in Luna’s head. Green decided to take a chance and ran out of the room.

I stood up and made my way over to the bed, it was dry. ‘Dodged a bullet.’ Maybe I could still get the bishop to annul the marriage before a war broke out. I wasn’t exactly liked by most nations.

“Luna, I need you to pull yourself together. Equestria is in very real danger,” I said gripping her shoulders to emphasize my point. 

“What do you mean, love? Is there some great foe to face?” Luna asked, a distant look on her face. I was getting desperate, I slapped her. “Ow, what was that about?”

“You were lost in dreamland, but I need your help to prevent several wars. There isn’t a government on this world that likes me. If I’m in charge of Equestria, they will invade to depose me. So please listen. If we completed the wedding ceremony we’re screwed, but if we passed out before we could complete the last part then we may have a chance to get this annulled before anyone finds out,” I explained.

“Okay what’s the last part of the ceremony?” Luna asked as if it were so simple.

“Consummation.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I think we’re okay but I’m going to ask you a few questions just to be safe. Neither of us will be comfortable with these kinds of questions,” I informed her.

“Can’t we just say we didn’t?” Luna was beginning to show the fear I felt.

“No, they have specialized spells to know for sure,” I answered. Luna took a few minutes before responding.

“Okay, I’m ready.” One embarrassing interrogation later and we were no closer to a definitive answer.

“I suppose all that’s left  to do is head to the sanctum and try our luck,” I said lamely, I didn’t like our luck.

We had to stop shortly after leaving the pub for Luna to raise the moon. It was getting late, we needed to hurry and get there before the bishop left for the night. At the very least we might be able to keep it out of the public records. I sprinted for the sanctum at my top speed. Luna, after failing to keep up, opted to hold onto a tendril and fly behind me like a kite. 

“Halt, monster!” There were five rough looking gryphons wearing gold trimmed armor blocking the road ahead. Celestia’s “elite” monster hunters, The Wardens. ‘Why now?’ I shouted at Luna to keep going, and that I would catch up in a moment. I felt the tension on the tendril disappear, signaling that she had heard me. I absorbed the tendril and focused on the gryphons.

“Guys, I really don’t have time for this right now. Besides, I got pardoned last night.” The center gryphon just laughed.

“Why should your legal status matter to us? We’re hunters, not guards, and we’ve been ordered to kill you. We won’t let you escape again,” the center Warden said, a sinister grin spreading across his beak. ‘I swear, they get dumber every year.’

It was over in less than a second, each of them sporting a number of broken bones. Nothing fatal, but they wouldn’t be coming after me again. I caught up to Luna at the sanctum. Fortunately for us, the lights were still on. We shared a nervous look as we entered the sanctum, finding a lone unicorn cleaning up the hall.

“Excuse me, do you know if the bishop is still here?” I called to the unicorn.

“Ah, your majesties. I was not expecting to see you again, today. Surely you remember me? I performed your wedding earlier, though you were rather distracted,” the unicorn replied, evidently this was the bishop.

“About that,” I began.

“We were not exactly in our right minds at the time,” Luna continued.

“And we need the marriage annulled,” I finished, the bishop looked at the two of us with sad eyes.

“You seemed so happy earlier, but I understand. I take it the ceremony was never consummated?”

“We don’t know,” Luna and I said at the same time. The bishop just sighed and cast a spell at the two of us.

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” the bishop asked.

“Good?” I said, dreading the answer.

“You are the new king and queen of Equestria,” came the firm response. ‘Fuck.’

“Jekyll?” I heard Luna say, but I had one last card to play.

“Tell me bishop, do the Lumens still exist? I lost track of them a few centuries ago,” I asked, startling the bishop.

“How do you know of that?” the bishop hissed, his voice low. ‘Oh good, they do exist.’

“I am the last Legate of the Order of Iron, my blade is Cataclysm,” I responded, the bishop fell into a bow. A member of one of the old knightly orders was required to respect the ranks of the others, we had lucked out.

“My lord, what can I do for you?” the bishop asked, maintaining his bow.

“If you cannot dissolve the marriage, then I must ask you to keep it out of the public records. We will all suffer otherwise,” I ordered, my tone to that of an officer.

“Yes sir, the Lumens have always respected the Order of Iron. The document shall never be seen by pony eyes,” the bishop responded, rising, “I’m glad you were not lost with the others. It was a travesty, what happened.”

“Jekyll, what just happened?” Luna asked, lost.

“Our luck finally turned around, no one will know about our marriage,” I answered, relieved.

“How?”

“I took a gamble that the Sanctum of Light would be connected to the Lumens. A little weight throwing, and we’ve got the results we wanted,” I explained.

“The Lumens?” Luna was just getting more confused.

“Secret group, they hoard knowledge.” ‘Totally not the pony Illuminati. Why would anyone think that?’

“But what you said? That gryphon that confronted the Nightmare said the same thing.”

“Sup,” I responded, smiling.

“Truly? I owe you more than I had thought, perhaps we shouldn't hide this,” Luna suggested, her face showing an emotion I couldn't identify. And I was good at reading faces.

“Have you lost your damn mind? Equestria would be at war within the week. Besides, we met less than twenty-four hours ago. I may be the fastest being on the planet, but that’s insane,” I was being harsh again, “Look, let’s give this some time. If in a year or two you still feel the same way, we can come clean.”

“I just don’t like the idea of lying to everyone, I used to hold the Element of Honesty. Between that and my admiration for you, I’m finding this difficult to accept,” Luna rebuked.

“Shit, okay. How about this? If anyone directly asks you if you got married, answer honestly. Otherwise, just don’t bring it up.”

“I suppose that will have to do,” Luna replied, dejected.

“Lighten up, if Chelly ever does anything monumentally stupid, you can throw your new rank in her face,” I said, bringing an evil smile to Luna’s face.

“If I may interject?” the bishop said, catching our attention, “You shouldn’t worry about public opinion, Equestria is destined for war. We fear nothing can stop it, Princess Celestia’s actions have created many enemies for us.” ‘Fuckitty fuck fuck.’

“Just call me ‘Jay,’ Luna,” I said, anticipating her next words. Had we only been married for a few hours?

“Jay then, in light of this, I must agree with you. The world should not receive so many revelations in so short a time. If you’ll excuse me, I must see what I can do to placate those my sister has wronged,” Luna stated, turning to leave.

“I’m going to get Green and the others to keep quiet. Don’t start without me,” I replied, following her out.

“Why do you say that?” 

“I hold the authority to speak for the Crystal Kingdom, even if I am its last citizen.” I formed my wings, preparing to launch towards the Dead Crabs.

“As you say then, meet me at the gryphon ambassador’s office.” Luna turned towards the castle, spreading her wings.

“You got it,” I said, taking flight. It only took me a minute to make my way back to the tavern, finding a nervous looking Green nursing a glass of beer. “Yo, where are your friends?”

“Jay, you’re back. Uh, did everything work out?” Green asked, making me wonder what happened to the confident guard from earlier.

“Well enough, the important thing is that no one says anything. I’ll ask again, where are your friends?”

“Upstairs, asleep. Am I going to die?” Green finally answered.

“Buck up, soldier. Nobody's dying, but if you or your buddies blab…” I let his imagination run for a moment, “I’ll let my enforcers have the lot of you, and I won’t care who said it.” I didn’t even know what I meant, but I was sure Green and the others would imagine their own hells.

“Discretion is my middle name,” Green said, but I was already walking back out the door. All that was left to do was meet with the various ambassadors and try to save some lives. I found Luna waiting outside the ambassador’s office. Together, we stepped inside.

“Ah princess, I’ve been expecting you for some time. Though why are you here, creature?” the ambassador, Greta if my information was correct, asked.

“Even before the fall, I held the authority to speak with King Sombra’s voice. I have a right to be present for events of this caliber,” I answered sternly. Greta raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I am here to make amends for my sister’s actions in my absence,” Luna declared, there was no arguing with her tone.

“I’m aware of why you’re here,” Greta said, pulling a single paper out of her desk, “I’ll save you the effort of talking to the other ambassadors. We have all agreed to stand down, on one condition. Our demand is that Celestia step down as one of Equestria’s rulers, you’ll find this document confirms my words.”

“Have you spoken to my sister about this?” Luna asked as she took the paper.

“Oh yes, your ever gracious sister called me a ‘posturing foal’ and told me to ‘eat my own feathers,’” Greta replied. Being told to ‘eat your own feathers’ was about the worst thing you could say to a gryphon, as you were implying that they were a terrible hunter and appeared malnourished. 

Luna took the document, reading it carefully before replying, “How long? How long do I have to convince my sister to step down?” Her confidence was fading, being replaced by fear.

“You have one year from three days ago, we won’t wait any longer. We’re only giving you that long because of your recent return, you should be grateful,” Greta responded coldly. Exactly one year from the night of Luna’s return. Typical gryphon logic, pick an arbitrary day and add a year.

“I am. From what I have heard, this is more than generous. Thank you.” Luna looked terrified.

“What if I were to seize control of Equestria?” I asked, earning a glance from Luna and attracting Greta’s attention.

“We would attack immediately, we view you as equally responsible,” Greta answered, a smug look crossing her face..

“I doubt that. Are we done here?” I asked, an easy smile on my face.

“I believe so, unless the princess has anything further to say.”

“I do not, I believe I understand well enough,” Luna said, a defeated tone creeping into her voice. I followed Luna out silently. 

“I was having such a good day too,” I commented once we were a good distance from the ambassador’s office. 

“Jay this is serious,” She levitated the paper in front of me, “Everyone, we’re on the brink of war with everyone. Not just the gryphons, but the minotaurs, zebras, caribou, and even the moose tribes are preparing for war. We should count our blessings that the dogs and dragon hoards aren’t attacking as well.”

“And you lot aren’t exactly built for combat, to say nothing of their technological advantages. Oh, and expect the dogs to attack as well, they love weakened opponents,” I responded grimly.

“What about your enforcers?” Luna asked, a hopeful look in her eyes.

“I have a quarter-million, all combat ready. I would rather you didn’t employ my forces though, you don’t want to be seen as the princess who used an army of monsters to subjugate the world,” I answered.

“A fair point, that sounds more like the Nightmare. I just don’t know what to do, Tia has ruled for over three thousand years now. I don’t know if I can convince her to give it all up,” Luna said, I could imagine the horrors she was expecting the future to hold.

“You can’t, I don’t think anyone can anymore. Our options are to prepare for war, or for me to kill Chelly. After which you’d have to throw me in Tartarus or banish me to the moon.” I said neutrally. Luna stumbled.

“You’re talking about murder,” she hissed, her voice low, “You aren’t a killer.”

“You’re wrong. Celestia wasn’t alone when she attacked the Crystal Kingdom, she was when she came back. The army was tens of thousands strong in those days, it doesn’t even exist anymore.”

“There is a difference between murder and a battle,” Luna said, trying to reassure me.

“Not when they can’t even hurt you, it was like ants fighting a steamroller. I justify it as protecting the kingdom, but that’s just a lie I tell myself. It was a slaughter. And when millions of lives are on the line, I find my morals don’t matter as much,” I gurgled, a hoof had lodged itself in my skull, “You can’t just hit me every time I say something you don’t like.”

“I have made my decision, Equestria will prepare for the coming war. You and your enforcers shall assist with the preparations, you will also be joining my cabinet,” Luna declared as she removed her hoof from the side of my head.

“If that’s the path you’re set on, I’ll let Dopple know. I’d also suggest finding yourself some personal guards, ones that you know you can trust, to sit in on meetings. You shouldn’t spend any time alone for the next few years, zebras are known to use assassins,” I warned. I had three such guards in mind, I suspected Luna did too.

“I am aware, and I think Green and the others will work perfectly as my personal guard. I’ll track down the traditional night guard armor, it should be around here somewhere,” Luna replied. ‘Called it!’

“Let me know how many more you need and I’ll send some enforcers to bolster the ranks,” I said, my voice dropping before continuing, “Can’t have my new wife getting herself killed, now can I? Even if she is abusive.”

A blush, barely concealed by her coat, crept up Luna’s neck as she smiled and said, “I appreciate the offer, I’ll go find the uniforms right away. I believe you have some enforcers to coordinate?”

“This shouldn’t take too long, I’ll see you later,” I said, turning towards a nearby window and sprinting out into the night air. My wings formed as I fell, I had grown to like the batlike variant over the scaly feathered type I had been using. I made it to my cabin in the span of a few minutes. Landing silently out of habit, I made my way inside. Dopple sat in my chair, looking like a parent whose child was late for curfew. 

“I expected you to return some time ago, sir,” Dopple said, still seated.

“You’re not my real dad. Get the fuck out of my chair, we’ve got work to do. Either find another enforcer to play “Best Defense” or find me one that can coordinate the others and make decisions,” I ordered.

“India-five-two should meet your needs, may I ask why?” Dopple responded.

“I’ve been pardoned, but all the enemies Chelly’s made hunting me are on the warpath. We’re mobilizing to aid in Equestria’s defense.”

“Sir, I believe this is unwise. Saving Celestia will not make our existences any safer, but it will create more enemies for us to face,” Dopple commented. I generally encouraged him to question me, a different opinion can be helpful.

“We aren’t doing this for Celestia, it’s for Luna and everyone else who will be caught in the crossfire. This isn’t up for debate, get me India-five-two,” I ordered.

“No-,” he managed before my fist sent him through the window behind my chair and into the forest. I followed him out and began slamming his head into the ground, leaving small craters with every strike. While this wouldn’t have hurt me at all, Dopple was different from the other enforcers, he felt everything. I finished by shifting my left arm into a blade and running it through his chest pinning him into the ground.

“There is a difference between voicing your opinion and insubordination, Dopple. You crossed that line, next time I’ll just find a new proxy. Never forget that you are replaceable. Now, get me India-five-two,” I growled to the prone figure, removing my blade from his chest and returning my arm to its normal state.

“Yes, sir,” Dopple wheezed, he’d be fine in a couple hours. Dopple set off into the forest, returning with another enforcer after a few minutes, “This is India-five-two, I believe he will work for your plans.”

“Thank you, Dopple. India-five-two, your new name is Tzu, gather two ‘Mike’ squads and make your way to the courtroom in Canterlot Castle. Don’t keep me waiting,” I ordered, Dopple had put me in a bad mood. 

I wasn’t surprised Dopple had recommended a member of one of the ‘India’ squads, India division was my intelligence corps. They were built to be smart and blend in to gather information. Mike division served as high speed messengers. Gamma division served as my personal bodyguards. Dopple was the last of my Alphas, a prototype, and the only one of his particular variant. Dopple was essentially an immortal gryphon with heightened intelligence. He felt pain, bled, and ate normally. The rest belonged to Romeo company and served whatever role I found for them, acting as my general force. Except for Dopple, they were all physiologically the same. They adapted to their assigned unit and task afterward. The renovation team that fixed the Dead Crabs belonged to Romeo company.

I returned to the castle and made my way into the courtroom to wait for my enforcers, upon their arrival I sent one of the Mikes with a guard to let Luna know where we were. When Luna made her way into the courtroom about a half hour later, she had a sour look on her face and several sets of armor floating behind her.

“What's with the look?” I asked.

“I spoke to Tia,” Luna answered bitterly.

“And it went as I predicted?” I guessed.

“Yes, she laughed at me, claimed the other nations wouldn’t dare threaten her. Why can’t she see what she is doing?” Luna asked sadly.

“If you find out, let me know.”

“Are these the bodyguards you mentioned? They seem a little lean,” Luna asked, eyeing the Mikes.

“No, the thin ones are messengers. This is Tzu, he’s going to help us coordinate the enforcers,” I explained, gesturing towards the aforementioned enforcer.

“Do you have any experience with these matters?” Luna asked, addressing Tzu.

“Answer,” I commanded.

“No, ma’am. My purpose is to assign members of Romeo company wherever they are needed for maximum efficiency. I can also advise on matters of strategy, if you wish,” Tzu answered.

“From this point you will follow whatever orders Princess Luna gives you, so long as they do not counteract my own. Do you understand?” I ordered the enforcer. Luna threw me a questioning glance.

“Yes, sir. What do you require ma’am?” Tzu responded.

“I require you to tell me why Jay is talking to you like that,” Luna ordered tersely.

“It does not matter how lord Jekyll speaks to us, we are the enforcers of his will. But to answer your question, he is upset about the actions of the Alpha known as Dopple,” Tzu answered, oblivious to my darkening mood.

“I keep hearing about this Dopple, what is he?” You all speak of him as if he were an important enforcer, but alpha is a dog title and Dopple is a changeling name,” Luna asked, still addressing Tzu.

“Dopple is an Alpha type enforcer, one of the first I made. He acts as my doppelganger, allowing me to do whatever I need to do without endangering my cover. Hence the name,” I answered before Tzu could speak, “He tried to prevent me from helping you, so I beat him into the dirt.”

“What good would that do? I have seen enough to know that you don’t feel pain as we ponies do,” Luna asked, we were getting off task.

“Dopple does, but enough about my subordinates. We have a country to protect,” I said flatly.

“You’re right, my apologies. I have had the guards set up a command center in the east tower, we can coordinate our efforts from there,” Luna said, turning towards the door. The enforcers and I followed in silence. I was glad to see that the ‘war room,’ while being ridiculously indefensible, at least had plenty of windows and balconies. It would work for now. I had an idea of where we could move it to once the war began.

“Tzu, I want five hydras worth of biomatter piled by the Everfree Castle before dawn,” I ordered. Tzu nodded and sent one of the Mikes speeding towards the forest. This would be the largest creature I had ever created.

“What are you planning? More enforcers?” Luna asked.

“No, I’m doing the one thing I never wanted to do again. I’m making another leviathan, one to act as a fortress for us to work out of,” I answered. I really didn’t want to do this.

“Another? How many of these creatures are there already?” Luna questioned further.

“There are three right now, protecting frontier towns and high risk areas. And before you ask, I don’t like making them because they are the weirdest things you will ever see,” I explained.

“They can’t be that bad.”

“You’ll see, I’ll introduce you to Jeffrey some time, that’s the one that legitimately believes the citizens of Ponyville are its children,” I said.

“I’ll take your word for it then, shall we get started?” Luna asked, summoning a table and a large number of maps.

“Tzu, get some renovators up here and set this room up properly,” I ordered, even as I leaned on the table to start working on our strategy.

“I believe our highest priority should be the cities, they can act as gateways to the roads. The enemy can go around but they will lose several days doing so, provided we can keep them out of the cities,” Luna suggested.

“A strategy my people know well, many of our oldest cities were walled in for that very reason,” I commented, immediately thinking of the logistics involved in walling a city the size of Manehattan.

“A grand idea, had we several years to make it a reality,” Luna said, not knowing the caliber of workers she now had at her disposal.

“If I may ma’am, time is not the issue. Were we to send the entirety of Romeo company, we could wall off any city in Equestria in a week at the longest. The issue is that we do not have the resources required to perform such a feat,” Tzu volunteered.

“And if your Romeo company were to work in a quarry for a time?”

“We’d have more than enough stone after two weeks, I’d say we could have every major city in Equestria walled in within three months,” I said, shocked by the viability of this plan.

“If they are determined to enter the city the gryphons will simply go over the wall, minotaurs will prefer to tunnel under the walls. The other races will be forced to go around however,” Tzu added.

“I have an idea to counter the gryphons. Luna, do we have access to sulfur and saltpeter?” I asked, it was time to introduce the world to flak.

“We do, but how does that help?” Luna responded, confused.

“Because when you mix them with charcoal, you get an explosive. Put some in a thick steel tube and toss some bits of scrap metal in after it, what do you get?”

“The explosive would propel the metal at an extremely high speed, this would be a devastating weapon. I’ll get some engineers working on it immediately,” Luna answered, some hope began to appear in her eyes.

“We’re going to need soldiers, pony soldiers, which means you’re going to have to make one hell of a speech. Otherwise, we just won’t have enough troops to last against the sheer numbers we’re up against, even if we mobilized all of my enforcers. And you know my opinion towards that idea,” I said, Luna’s face turned grim at my words. Likely at the prospect of sending others to die.

“I’ll have a set of armor made for myself as well. Thankfully Tia kept Nightbane, so I won’t need a new weapon,” Luna stated thoughtfully.

“I’m kinda glad I’m not the only one who still carries a named sword,” I commented.

“Nightbane is no sword,” a wicked looking scythe appeared at her side, “It was a gift from my father.”

“Damn, you scary. You know how to use that?” I asked. The warscythe immediately flew at my face but was easily caught with a quickly formed claw, “Gonna need a bit more skill than that,” the weapon disappeared from my grasp and erupted from my chest before I could track it down. 

“Do you find my skills sufficient?” Luna asked. I removed the blade from my back and inspected it for damage before replying.

“No, your fighting style is based around a single opponent, you should train for combat against ten or more enemies. Maybe add some more weapons and a shield, you’re only limited by your telekinetic power and how far you can spread your attention,” I advised, “Tzu, assign a dozen Romeos to the guard for training purposes.”

“How did you know I was trained against a single adversary?” Luna asked, retrieving her undamaged scythe.

“You left the blade behind, you can only get away with that in a duel,” I answered simply.

“Oh, perhaps you could fill this gap in my training? Maybe we can figure out how to train our soldiers while we train ourselves?” 

“I don’t fight like you do, I can’t use magic. But I did assign a dozen enforcers to the guard for this exact reason,” I said with a toothy smile, “We can begin once we’ve gotten the logistics figured out.”

“A grand idea, I believe our next highest priority should be the gateway towns. Should we evacuate them or fortify the areas?” Tzu interrupted, trying to get us back on task. I had never seen an India class enforcer this hard nosed before, Dopple had chosen well.

“I’d say both, get the civilians out of danger and turn the towns into strongholds for us to thin the enemy’s numbers. If we do this right, they may even last the whole war,” I responded, grabbing a piece of paper and sketching a cross between a castle and a bunker. Tzu nodded thoughtfully at my rough design, Luna looked ecstatic.

“The war is all but won! All that remains is to build and staff these structures, I never believed war could be so simple,” Luna declared, incorrectly.

“It isn’t, war is an art. A dance of death that can span years and cost millions of lives. My people have come as close to perfecting it as you can get, I’m pulling from what knowledge I have of their methods. Tzu here is even named after a famous general who wrote a book called ‘The Art of War,’ this will not be easy or without cost,” I rebuked, “Tzu, give Luna your impression of the situation.”

“Yes, sir. Ma’am, we’re looking at a target rich environment with a severe deficiency of supplies, troops, and training. Additionally, as lord Jekyll is fond of saying, no plan survives first contact with the enemy,” Tzu responded.

“I understand, I shall save the celebration for after the war is won,” Luna replied sheepishly.

“Good plan, let’s get started on what traps to place in the wilds and around the cities,” I said. 

We worked until dawn, ignoring the renovation team that arrived and built the tower room into a working command center. Mike type enforcers flew in and out of the large windows in droves, carrying messages to different groups of enforcers and city mayors. By the time the sun rose over the horizon and Luna lowered the moon, almost all of my enforcers were on the move. Tzu insisted on keeping a skeleton crew of Gamma type enforcers in the Everfree to maintain the confinement of the creatures there, I found it hard to argue with him. Luna retired to her chambers shortly after dawn, I left Tzu to coordinate the efforts of India division and walked Luna to her room. We found Bluff and Doll guarding the door, completely missing the point of being personal guards.

“Why are you two out here, instead of making sure there aren’t any assassins in there?” I asked pointedly. The two guards looked at each other in confusion, “Look, you aren’t regular guards anymore, you’re Luna’s personal guards. You follow her into meetings, you check her room for assassins, and if there’s a knife destined for her heart, you jump in front of it. That’s your job now, you’ve been chosen for this because we know we can trust you.”

“Yes, sir,” they chorused, turning towards the door. I stopped them before they could enter.

“No, I’ve got it this time. Head over to the control room in the west tower, the enforcer with the big head will help you get your unit set up. And find Green, he’ll need to be there too,” I ordered. They set off immediately, my tone having been refined by ordering Tzu around for the past few hours.

“They aren’t ‘the enforcers of your will’, you know,” Luna commented.

“Sorry, kinda got used to talking to Tzu. And they named themselves, I just liked the name,” I apologized, stepping through the door. I didn’t smell any intruders, but I checked every corner anyway, “Okay, we’re clear. Come on in.”

“Thank you, I look forward to the day where this is no longer necessary,” Luna replied, walking into the room. A new smell entering the room with her.

I threw Luna to the ground as I charged through the door, my claws forming and long spines forming across my back. A hooded figure retreated down the hallway at the sight of me, I could tell it was a zebra by the figure's legs. One of the spines flipped over my shoulder and shot down the hallway, impaling the zebra’s leg and dragging it into my grip within a second. I felt a few of the zebra’s ribs break from the impact. I carried the would be assassin back into the room as Luna regained her footing. ‘Demon hedgehog never fails.’

“Poor performance, assassin,” I commented idly.

“You will never make me talk, monster!” the assassin yelled in my face.

“That’s the beauty of it, you don’t have to. Besides, I hate being called a monster,” I said before crushing the zebra in my grip and consuming the remains. Luna looked horrified.

“You killed her,” she accused.

“I did, and I’m going to kill the other three too,” I replied flatly, having already sorted through the assassin’s memories, “Should only take a second.” ‘I’m going to make a horror movie out of these idiots.’

Once I had finished with the assassins I returned to Luna’s side, I had gathered a great deal of information from the zebras’ minds.

“So this is war, then? The ruthless slaughter of so called foes?” Luna asked, her features sinking in depression. Her eyes were glued to a pool of blood on the floor, all that was left of the first assassin.

“That was just a taste, a small unit foolishly facing a superior opponent rather than retreating. They were undone by one mistake, and I exploited that mistake to wipe out their entire unit. The same thing will happen every day, to both sides, during the coming conflict. Our job is to make sure it happens to them more often,” I instructed, realizing the lesson that could be learned from this. I sent a tendril to clean up the blood Luna was still staring at.

“How? How do I stop this from happening to my ponies?” Luna questioned sadly, I slumped against the wall, sliding into a seated position. 

“I used to be an accountant, before all this,” I said, gesturing at my body, “I never read ‘The Art of War,’ but I remember one passage. ‘If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.’ It was in a song, if you can believe it.”

“From what I have heard of your people’s music, I don’t doubt it. This Tzu sounds like a wise stallion,” Luna responded, I laughed at this.

“Luna, a male of my species is called a man. And Sun Tzu died thousands of years before I was even born.”

“Interesting, may we continue this conversation tonight? I should get to sleep,” Luna said, stifling a yawn. It was getting pretty late for her.

“Of course,” I responded, not moving from my position.

“Are you going to stand there all day?” Luna asked as she climbed into her bed.

“I was planning on leaving once your guards arrived, but I can stay if you want,” I answered. Tzu could cover our efforts without me for a while.

“I think I would like that...” Luna fell asleep before she could finish her thought. I moved a sturdy looking chair over to the space next to her bed and sat down, my gaze traversing the room before I improved my hearing and settled in for a long wait. The new guards, now sporting gray coats and batlike features, arrived silently and made their way to strategic positions around the room. I noticed that all but one of them had red eyes, a detail I found comforting. I trusted my enforcers more than I trusted the ponies, especially for things like this.

“Tia!” Luna shouted, waking with a start, “Jekyll, we hath forgotten about mine sister, we fear for her well being.”

“Go check on Chelly, then get Tzu to assign some Gammas to her guard,” I ordered one of the disguised enforcers, “Don’t worry Lu, Chelly’s been surrounded with guards all day. Go on back to sleep.”

Luna hesitantly returned to sleep as I repaired my destroyed eardrums. She slept fitfully until I instinctively extended a tendril across her shoulders, which she promptly grabbed in her hooves and proceeded to cuddle with. This would be difficult to explain when she woke up. I amused myself by looking at the current situation objectively: the magical talking pony princess was cuddling with a black and red mass of nightmare fuel. The enforcer I had sent to check on Celestia returned some time later, giving me a nod as he returned to his previous position.

The only ones who moved over the course of the next few hours were Luna and the unnamed pony guard, who occasionally fidgeted, apparently uncomfortable in his new armor. Luna awoke in the late afternoon, looking puzzled at her odd substitute for a teddy bear.

“You seemed like you were having a nightmare,” I explained simply.

“So you thought it would be a good idea to press one of your tentacles against me?” Luna asked, a suspicious look crossing her features.

“That was all you, I was just trying to comfort you. You’re the one who decided to get friendly with a tendril,” I accused playfully, I didn’t need to worry about what any of the others in the room thought.

“Define friendly.”

“Hey Green,” I called, guessing the identity of the pony guard, his mane had grown to the point that I couldn’t tell if it was the unicorn.

“Yes, sir,” Green replied. ‘Score.’

“Answer your princess’s question, in detail,” I ordered, an evil smile forming. Green gulped audibly.

“Well, ma’am, uh, Jay put the tendril thing on your shoulders and you started to hug it,” Green began.

“And?” I urged.

“Please sir, I really don’t want to say any more,” Green pleaded. He wasn’t getting out of this that easily.

“Soundproof the room and answer the question, soldier,” I commanded. Green did as he was told, the walls glowing a dark blue for a moment.

“Y-you kinda, uh, maybe, cuddled with it in your sleep, a little. Please don’t kill me,” Green finished, trying to make himself as small as possible. This time it was a horn that went through my head. Even through the pain and disfigurement I was laughing.

“It would be best if you forgot what you saw here Green,” Luna warned, Green nodded frantically and tried to hide behind one of the enforcers.

“An oo et ur orn ota iey ull?” I grunted, trying to get Luna to remove her horn from my skull. Her horn had pierced my jawbone, talking around it was proving to be a challenge.

“I’m tempted to leave you there, you know,” Luna warned.

“Eese on’t, iss eely urts,” Please don’t, this really hurts.

“Truly? I didn’t think anything could hurt you,” Luna asked, withdrawing her horn and allowing me to heal.

“Most of the time you’re right, I don’t know why your horn hurts me. The same thing happened when I blocked Nightmare’s charge, but Chelly’s doesn’t do anything to me,” I answered, just as confused. A hoof clubbed the back of my head.

“Don’t try to distract me, I’m still cross with you. Embarrassing me like that,” Luna said. I touched the wall, seeing the soundproofing shimmer, before responding.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little romance between a married couple, there are entire books on the subject,” I teased, fighting a laugh and causing Luna to hide her face behind her hooves.

“I thought we agreed to not talk about that?” Luna asked, still hiding her face.

“No we agreed not to tell the world, but this room is soundproofed and none of these guys are going to say anything. Isn’t that right Green?” I responded.

“Yes, sir.”

“See, we can do all of the lovey couple stuff, no one will ever know,” I continued, causing Luna to graduate to hiding under her blankets, “Oh, I get it, you want me to join you.”

Green turned white as I climbed into the bed, causing it to sag and Luna to slide into me. The enforcers couldn’t care less. Luna freaked out, thrashing her way onto the floor. 

“Sir, you’re taking your joke a bit far,” one of the enforcers said.

“You,” I called, rising from the bed, “Your name is Conscience now. And you’re right, I’m sorry Luna.”

“I apologize as well, I could have handled that better,” Luna replied.

“Right, we should check on Tzu. He’s been working on our defense all day,” I suggested.

The guards and I waited while Luna got herself ready for the night, Green eventually relearned how to breathe and returned to his previous color. Once Luna deemed herself presentable, we set off for the control room. We found Tzu and a handful of Mikes standing around inside, the map of Equestria we had been using earlier was heavily annotated. I could see marks denoting traps, walls, ambush points, and projected troop movements all over the map, there wasn’t an inch that didn’t have some kind of symbol on it.

“Making me proud, Tzu,” I said, the enforcer seemed to inflate at the approval.

“What does all of this mean, Jay?” Luna asked, attempting to decipher the multitudes of symbols dotting the map.

“It’s the war, every single move and countermove. The start of it, at least,” I answered.

“Wow, good work Tzu, there’s food in the cafeteria if you would like some,” Luna offered, Tzu simply looked at me.

“Go on kiddo, you’ve earned it. Just don’t eat any of the ponies,” I said, Tzu happily left.

“How long do you believe this will take to prepare?” Luna asked, again deferring to my experience with matters like this. 

“I’d give it about eight months at the most, Tzu can give us a more accurate number when he gets back,” I estimated.

“Then our next step is for me to make a speech to the ponies of Equestria. A call to arms, if you will,” Luna stated, sounding daunted by the task.

“You’ll do fine, just tell them how things are. They’ll listen, just try to be inspiring,” I advised, “I’ll be right there, ready to step in if things get out of hand.”

“I’m not so sure, I don’t think the ponies trust me yet,” Luna said, biting her lip nervously.

“You may be surprised by how many in Canterlot trust me,” I said reassuringly.

“If you really think I can do this, I’ll try,” Luna stated with more confidence.

“Do or do not, there is no try,” I replied, channeling my inner Yoda.

“Wise words, I hope they help,” Luna commented as she began walking towards the balcony that overlooked Canterlot. I took a different path, sailing out an open window and landing on the roof of a nearby building. I hid behind the edge of the roof, waiting for the moment I was needed.

“Ponies of Canterlot,” I heard Luna call to the masses that were on their way home from work, “If I may have your attention, please.”

The crowd made their way to the courtyard, I could hear them muttering in confusion. 

“Please, this is important,” her confidence was failing. I stood up on the rooftop, making eye contact with Luna and reminding her that she wasn’t alone. Fortunately the assembled ponies were looking the other way, “SILENCE, thank you. Ponies of Canterlot, no, ponies of Equestria, I bring grave news. Equestria faces a threat the likes of which we have never seen before, in one year’s time we will see a combined force of gryphons, minotaurs, zebras, caribou, and moose invading our land with hostile intentions. I discovered this last night and have enlisted a professional to help with the defense of our fair land. We have worked tirelessly to plan our strategy, but we are missing one critical part. Equestria does not, at this time, have a standing army. We will need soldiers if we are to protect our way of life. I beg of you, free ponies of Equestria, help protect our nation, our friends, our neighbors, our families. I cannot and will not force you into joining, but please, for the sake of your own families and friends, please enlist in the new Equestrian Army.” ‘Not the best I’d heard, but it ought to do.’

“Princess, we thought you were dead,” one of the onlookers called.

“Pardon?” Luna responded, confused. 

“Yeah, the papers said you got eaten by that monster,” the same pony responded.

“The shapeshifter,” another spoke up, this was bad.

“That’s probably the monster wearing the princess’s skin,” yet another accused.

“I’m over here, you idiots,” I shouted from my position, causing the ponies to turn towards my position, “Don’t believe everything you read.”

“I thought that picture looked fake.” I recognized the voice as belonging to Pony Joe. I’d need to thank him later.

“Great, now that we’re on the same page, spread the word. Equestria is in danger and we need every able bodied pony to aid in her defense, I myself have volunteered to help in any way I can. As has your princess. Will you allow her to fight for your lives with only me to watch her back? Will you lock your doors and hide like cowards? Will you sit there and say ‘somepony else can do it’? Or will you fight? Will you stand up to this new threat like proud Equestrians? Will you prove to the world that you deserve your freedom? My people have a saying: the price of freedom is paid in blood. Will you earn it? Or are you cowards?” I shouted to the amassed ponies, angering many of them.

“I’m no coward, where do I sign up?” I heard a voice say, before it was joined by several others. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I felt a knife entered my back. Glancing over my shoulder, I found another zebra assassin.

“GAMMA,” I screeched, even as tendrils impaled and consumed my attacker. I saw one of the enforcers drop its disguise just in time to catch an arrow that was headed for Luna’s neck, “You see now? This is the kind of enemy we face. They strike from the shadows like rats, trying to make you afraid. But they will know soon enough, you can NOT break Equestria’s spirit, we will rise to this threat and force it back into whatever hole it crawled out of.”

If Luna was intimidated by this new attempt on her life, she didn’t show it. From my vantage point I could see a dozen Gammas scurrying about, occasionally dropping their disguises to quickly consume any further assassins. 

Luna picked up her speech with renewed enthusiasm, ”We shall go on to the end, we shall fight them on the land and on the sea, we shall fight them in the air, we shall defend our nation, our home, whatever the cost may be. We shall prove ourselves able to defend our home, to ride out this storm of war. We shall fight them on the beaches, we shall fight them in the hills, we shall fight them in the fields and in the streets. We shall never surrender. For our way of life, for harmony, FOR EQUESTRIA!” ‘Not bad, Lu. Not bad.’

I heard the telltale clicking of cameras, but it was vastly overshadowed by the sound of ponies muttering. I didn’t like what I was hearing. My ears were filled with the sound of fear, there were talks of fleeing the country and whispers of paying the gryphons to spare them. I could see that Luna could hear them too, I spoke up again, “So this is what you are then? That’s right, we can both hear you, one look at your princess’s face would tell you that. I thought you were better than this, I thought you, of all the ponies in Equestria, would have some pride. But what would I know, I’ve only been fighting Celestia and her hunters for the last THOUSAND YEARS. I’ve only been attacked by ponies who knew they were outmatched and likely to die for the last thousand years, I’ve only been forced into the shadows by those same brave ponies. Where are they now, I can’t see them?” 'As if, I just didn't want to deal with them.'

“But we don’t know how to fight,” one of the ponies called.

“Is that all?” Most of the crowd nodded, I cradled my eyes in a hand, “We still have a year before the invasion, did you all think we would allow you to go into battle without being trained? The training schedule is being tested and perfected right now.” ‘Probably true.’

There was a noticeable shift in the tone of the night, as the crowd realized they actually had a chance to protect their homes and survive to see them again. Such simple concerns, I’d never understand how a pony’s mind works. Sure enough, a few of them began asking where to sign up. The rest left with their heads held high, talking to each other about how to help with the war effort without enlisting. While it didn’t help us immediately, I could appreciate the need for these individuals. They would be the ones to make sure our troops were fed and supplied. 

Looking to the sky I realized it had only been about twenty-four hours since I had woken up on Luna’s leg, so much for my good day. Tzu had pulled off a miracle, getting as much done in one day as he did. I’d never heard of any nation acting this quickly, on either world. We’d see how long those plans lasted, my bet was that they’d go out the window during the first engagement. Now it was just a matter of waiting, at least for me. At least I could pass some of the time crafting the new leviathan. I was thinking about making this one entirely above ground and more mobile than the others, our own tank. A giant walking tank at that. I took off into the gathering night, setting a course for the Everfree Forest. 

I was going to have some fun with this one, especially if I could figure out how to add projectile weapons. ‘Maybe a slingshot kind of system?’ My arm twisted and broke under its own strain. ‘Nope.’
> Chapter 7: Lessons in Humility
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I closed in on the forest and therefore Ponyville, I decided to check on Dopple and make sure I hadn’t done any permanent damage to him. Even though I knew his wounds would heal, I wanted to make sure I hadn’t left any mental scars. I considered Dopple a friend, despite the subordinate relationship, and I felt bad about the beating I had given him the night before. 

When I arrived at the cabin I walked in and called for Dopple, the same way I had for the last five hundred years, but he didn’t answer. I didn’t find any hint of where he was, Dopple usually left a note when he left the house. Deciding that he was probably in Ponyville, I set off towards the town.

I made my way into Ponyville, not bothering with a disguise. I regretted this decision as soon as I entered the town, it was pure chaos. A number of the locals had still been making their way home after work and had panicked at the sight of me walking down the street. There were cries for mercy and a few even attacked me in an attempt to buy time for the others to escape. I just ignored them and continued walking towards the library, assuming Twilight was behind the disappearance of my enforcer.

The door to the library attempted to slam open as I reached out to knock, cracking loudly against my fist from the force. Looking around the now broken door I found an embarrassed looking Spike being lectured by Twilight for breaking the door. 

“Excuse me, have you two seen Best?” I asked, startling both of them.

“Jekyll! What are you doing here? Shiny said Princess Luna pardoned you, but he wouldn’t tell me what happened,” came Twilight’s lack of an answer. 

“So this is Jekyll?” Spike asked, “I thought he’d be scarier.”

“Don’t get too big for your britches, boy. I eat dragons,” I replied with a fang-filled grin, before addressing Twilight, “I’m here because I’m looking for Best, have you seen him? And Luna pardoned me because she figured out that Celestia was being a bitch.”

“I haven’t, not since he threw me out of his cabin,” Twilight answered, looking shaken. Now I was getting worried. My fist lashed out and slammed sideways into the wall, “And please stop scaring Spike, you’re going to give him nightmares.”

“Jeff, we need to talk,” I said evenly. The skinless head that Jeffrey preferred to use formed out of the wall next to where my fist still sat.

“Whatcha need, hun?” the leviathan asked. Twilight screamed, Spike fainted, Jeffrey looked embarrassed, and I sighed.

“Where the hell is Dopple? And fix that damn door while you’re at it. There ya go Twilight, never say I never did anything for you,” I said. The leviathan’s demeanor soured at my question.

“He left town a few hours ago, had a bag of some delicious smelling rabbits too. That look he was wearing always makes me so sad, I’ve seen it on too many of my babies’ faces. He’s not coming back, honey,” Jeffrey said sadly. 

“Horseshit, don’t fucking lie to me Jeff,” I ordered.

“I’m not, I’ve seen that same look on the face of every friend that had to move away, every husband after a divorce, every parent who left their foal,” Jeffrey replied. I heard Twilight gasp but I was barely paying attention to her, my focus was on the tendril that I had lodged in Jeffrey’s eye and the memories I was viewing through it.

“He abandoned us? Why? How? I need to talk to Tzu,” I stammered before bolting out the door and taking flight, the forgotten tendril having ripped out of Jeffrey’s head and was flopping around behind me. ‘This couldn’t be happening.’


Perspective Change: Twilight


I had no idea what was going on but I’d like to think I was taking it well, I had stopped screaming after all. But now Jekyll, who I still didn’t know anything about, had left and there was still a freaky head thing growing out of my wall. ‘And who the hay is Dopple?’

“Well, aren’t you just the cutest?” the head thing said, sounding sincere. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Uh, thank you?” I replied hesitantly, inwardly terrified that this monster was about to eat Spike and I.

“Oh, you’ve got nothing to fear from me dear, I’d never hurt one of my babies,” the thing said, apparently reading my mind. My fear vanished. Telepathy was a very rare spell, and I had never seen any book that described how it was cast. But now I had somepony who could teach me!

“Oh my gosh, you can read minds? Can you teach me? Please? I promise I’ll be the best student you’ve ever had and take lots of notes and study every night and everything,” I asked, making sure not to sound like I was begging.

“I’m sorry sweety, but I can’t teach you how to read minds,” the thing, no, Jekyll had called it Jeff, Jeff said.

“Please, I’ll do anything you want me to, I’ve never found anypony who knew the telepathy spell before,” I pleaded, on the verge of tears. Not even the princess had ever refused me once I had gotten to this point.

“Oh you poor thing, I can’t teach you any spells because I can’t use magic.” My world imploded. “But I can teach you how to read faces, it can be just as useful.”

“Reading faces? I’d never thought of that before,” I thought out loud. Jeff smiled, showing an uncomfortable amount of teeth.

“Oh happy day, it seems I get a pupil,” Jeff celebrated.

“I haven’t agreed yet,” I retorted.

“Yes, you have.”

“Yes, I have. How did you do that?”

“It was written on your face, just like that look of pride you wear every time little Spike looks away from you,” Jeff answered, raising further questions.

“Wait, have you been watching me since I moved in?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

“Actually it would have been when you landed in town, it’s my job to keep all my little ponies safe after all,” Jeff said. It sounded a lot less creepy when Princess Celestia said it, “But don’t worry your pretty little head about it, I know when my babies need their privacy.”

Oh Celestia, it winked at me.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I didn’t slow down as I approached the control room, I was livid and I wanted answers. As I crashed through the window at full speed and caught Tzu in a sliding chokehold, I saw all of the other occupants of the room, enforcers and ponies alike, scrambling away from me. 

There were few things globally acknowledged to be scarier than me when I was pissed. A number of unconscious alterations occurred when I got truly angry in my natural form: a number of red bioluminescent lines made themselves known across my arms and torso, my claws formed on their own and grew until each claw was about two feet long, my jaw extended into an almost lupine muzzle, and my teeth lengthened and shifted until they were overlapping and interlaced. By the time I smashed through the window I looked more like a cross between a demon and a werewolf.

“Where is he?” I growled at the paralyzed Tzu.

“W-who?” the normally stoic enforcer replied. I pinned him to the wall and roared in his face, likely waking the whole castle.

“Don’t test me, Tzu, where’s Dopple?” I growled again, partially because that was my only way of communicating without shifting my form in some way.

“I don’t know, I swear.” He was terrified, but I had to be sure. I grabbed his head in my free claw and sent an army of tendrils throughout his body, searching for any indication of where Dopple had gone. I didn’t find any.

I released Tzu and slumped against the wall, my form reverting to its normal state now that my anger was giving way to despair.

“Sir, what happened?” one of the Mikes asked. They were beginning to come closer, their fear transitioning into concern. Luna and the other ponies that had been in the room were still taking shelter behind whatever they could find.

“Dopple turned traitor, as best I can tell,” I replied sadly, this devastated them. They were all brothers in their eyes, one of them betraying the rest was unheard of.

“Find him, alpha priority, notify all squads. Now, GO,” Tzu shouted, his own claws lengthening.

“No,” I called, catching them all off guard. “I don’t want HIM found, I want IT dead. I want to see ITS broken body by the end of the week, am I understood?” I ordered quietly, making them flinch at my words. The enforcers cherished anything that gave them an identity, including their pronoun of choice. Taking that away was the worst thing I could do without killing them.

“Sir? Are you sure?” Tzu asked, shocked that I would order Dopple’s execution. I had never demanded the death of one of my enforcers before.

“Yes, get it done,” I commanded, more at the room than at Tzu. The Mikes and even a few of the Gammas that were in the room flew out to deliver the new orders.

“Why?” Luna asked, stepping forward, “Does running away from home always warrant such extreme action?”

Tzu and I shared a look, “Luna what do you think we are?” I began.

“You are some form of creatures with incredible shapeshifting abilities, not dissimilar to changelings,” Luna answered simply.

“Incorrect ma’am, changelings required magic to change how others perceived their form. They were not true shapeshifters like we are,” Tzu continued.

“We don’t have magic, our shapeshifting is entirely biological. No normal creature would be able to survive such a process, much less possess the ability to begin with. The reality of the situation is that we are not fauna at all, we are giant masses of sentient virus. The most devastating virus this world has ever and will ever see,” I explained. Luna was staring at her hooves in horror, likely wondering if using one of my tendrils as a teddy bear would cost her her life.

“We enforcers are forbidden from making ourselves contagious, and lord Jekyll has never done so himself. Were such a thing to happen, the Redlight that would be released from a single careless breath would destroy this city in a matter of hours,” Tzu finished.

“Redlight is the ‘child’ virus that our bodies naturally produce, the virus we are made of is called Blacklight and it’s much deadlier. While Dopple cannot access this on his own, his blood would be ridiculously easy to weaponize,” I added.

“By the stars, this, this is more than I can process. Jekyll might I have a word in private?” Luna asked, a dazed look on her face. Tzu ushered the few ponies out of the room before I could say anything. Luna tossed a soundproofing spell at the door once it fully closed.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked, awkwardly trying to break the ice.

“You! How could you create so many of these creatures? Just you is bad enough. If this disease is as bad as you claim, we could be facing casualties in the tens of thousands. All from one of your precious enforcers going rogue,” Luna accused.

“That’s the thing, they can’t. They are genetically required to follow all directives to the letter, they don’t have a choice. I don’t understand how Dopple just up and left. Or even disobeyed me the day before, for that matter. Although I must admit that I didn’t even realize what had happened at the time,” I explained.

“And if they disobey a directive?” Luna asked.

“They can’t. It’s like breathing to them, they don’t get any other options. If I order one to die, it will drop dead on the spot. Also, it wouldn’t be tens of thousands, it would be everything unless there were some extreme quarantine actions,” I answered.

“Everything? What do you mean everything?” Luna asked skeptically.

“I mean everything, global extinction. A couple weeks if it’s Redlight, three days if it’s viral Blacklight. Yes, I’m sure, I’ve had the better part of a thousand years of being pissed at your sister to figure out the infection models,” I responded, cutting her off before she could ask her obvious next question.

“By the stars, I pray he is found quickly then. The part that gets to me the most is that I married a disease,” Luna said, a small sad smile appearing on her face. ‘I think she’s picking up on my gallows humor.’

“Just means you’re progressive, not afraid of inter-natural-kingdom relationships, or superlethal viruses,” I said jokingly.

“One final question, if you’ll indulge me. Why did you order him to be executed? From how you spoke of him before, I thought he was your friend,” Luna asked.

“I thought he was too, but trying to bring him in alive isn’t worth the risk to the rest of the populace,” I replied.

“In that, we are in agreement, it just seems rather cold hearted,” Luna said.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about those rules against who you can be friends with. But I suppose you can’t build friends,” I said sadly. Luna removed the soundproofing and allowed the others back in.

“Sir, I believe we should address the gaps in our security,” Tzu said, already back to business. ‘All work and no play makes Tzu a dull boy.’

“The assassins from yesterday? Kill them all, I don’t like the idea of looking over my shoulder all the time. In fact, I want their skulls. I’ll never live down letting them stab me in the back,” I ordered. 

“Their skulls?” Luna asked, a disgusted look on her face, “What could you want with their skulls?”

“Nothing, that isn’t the point. Next time they want someone killed, probably you by the way, they’ll find all of their assassins have had their heads cut off. Sends a pretty strong message.”

“That’s barbaric! Killing the entire group for the actions of just a few, and just to make a point no less. Are you sure you’re thinking clearly? This doesn’t sound like the Jekyll I have been conversing with for the past couple days,” Luna exclaimed.

“Ma’am, you are defending a group of state sanctioned serial killers,” Tzu commented, Luna balked at this.

“And that is what you will become, is that what you want?” Luna retorted.

“No, we won’t. Remember, the enforcers are my army. I’m loaning them to the crown but I’m also reserving the right to commandeer portions of them and deploy those portions as I see fit. We do not require our actions to be sanctioned by the crown, and as such any independent actions we perform are not representative of the Equestrian government nor its leaders. Furthermore, I will be sending a squad that has not been contracted to the Equestrian military on this mission. Tzu, contact the Spooks,” I explained, turning to Tzu at the end. 

“I don’t remember these enforcers being on your list, what are they?” Luna asked.

“Technically they’re part of Romeo division, they’re my assassins. Each one is better than any other race can produce and further specialized for their position in the unit. They have no equal when it comes to the art of stealth,” I answered, Luna looked disappointed.

“I thought you were better than that, Jekyll. I suppose I don’t really know you at all,” came her melancholy reply.

“I will never be above using the tactics of my enemies, especially when those same methods can turn the tide of a battle. Besides, I’ve never actually used them before, they’ve just been training for the last two hundred years or so. Remember Luna, my people have nearly perfected war, and there wasn’t a notable military on my planet that didn’t have specialty units like this. It’s the mentality of killing one to save a thousand,” I explained.

“Sir, there are footsteps approaching,” Tzu interjected, “By the sound, I suspect a pegasus.”

“We can discuss this later. Let’s see who's coming to say hello, shall we?” I asked rhetorically.

“I don’t believe there is anything left to say, I don’t like this but, as you pointed out, these aren’t my soldiers,” Luna replied coldly just before a familiar guard made his way through the door.

“Sir, Princess Celestia has sent me to request a meeting between the two of you, she said it was urgent,” Lance said.

“Alright I’ll meet with Chelly, if you can answer some questions for me,” I replied.

“Sir?” Lance asked confused.

“Number one, why is it that when you’re in the same room, my memory fails me? Number two, why can’t I ever remember that you exist, when I remember everything? Number three, what are you? You don’t smell like a pony, but whatever is messing with my memory is keeping me from figuring out what you are. Tell me,” I interrogated the, now terrified, guard who was backed up against the wall.

“Jekyll, stop this at once. Threatening your own people is bad enough, but you will not treat the palace guards like this,” Luna demanded, I ignored her and advanced on Lance.

“Answer the questions or I’ll pick them from your memories. Trust me, you don’t want the latter option,” I threatened, all of the enforcers in the room were ready to pounce on my signal.

“Jekyll I’m warning you, don’t make me whaaaaah... Get me down from here!” Luna cried, catching my attention for a moment. She had been pinned to the ceiling with a web of tendrils coming from several different enforcers.

“Luna, it’s usually a bad idea to attack someone who is surrounded by bodyguards. Let her down,” I commanded, turning back to find that my target had escaped, “Damnit. Tzu, you’re on this now. Find me an answer, I don’t care how many enforcers it takes, that guard is a major threat to our security. I don’t want him in this tower either.”

“Understood, sir.”

“Today sucks, I’ll see you all later,” I commented to no one in particular before throwing myself through the broken window and into the night air. Pointedly ignoring Celestia’s request for a meeting, as Lance hadn’t answered any of my questions. With those headaches solved for now, I flew south, finally setting my sights on the leviathan-to-be that was waiting in the Everfree Forest.

As I landed in the forest, I heard the telltale rustle of a Gamma squad falling into place around me. I ignored this, they were my personal guard after all. I found the requested biomatter right where it was supposed to be and got to work. This was going to be difficult, I wouldn’t be able to use the process that resulted in the other leviathans. The others were easy, I dumped biomass in the ground, made it sentient, and gave it its orders. The leviathan itself would do the rest. This one however, would be significantly more complicated. I’d need to figure out everything from its bone structure to its method of getting around to its offensive and defensive capabilities. 

I sent a particularly large tendril from my left arm into the pile of biomatter and another from my right arm flopped onto the ground a good distance away, it wasn’t a very scientific process. Now that the setup was completed, all I had to do was figure out how I wanted this leviathan to work and form it accordingly. I intended for this one to be my flagship, for lack of a better term, so it would need to be a siege engine, a siege breaker, and capable of transporting large numbers of troops in relative comfort. I searched through my memories of my time on Earth for any inspiration on how to accomplish this, finding nothing that could accomplish all of these things on the scale that I was looking for. I did however, find a few things that could work if combined. With this in mind, I set to work.

After four days of shaping and revising my newest leviathan, one of the Gammas that had been guarding me walked up with a concerned look. Making leviathans was very hard on my mind and body, so it made me a little loopy. I may have been talking to myself in languages that even I didn’t know.

“Sir, are you okay? Perhaps you should take a break,” the enforcer asked.

“It’s a big ass walking tank, I think those were called titans. That was a thing, right? Yeah, that was totally a thing. This is a titan, can’t nobody tell me different. Anyone tries, I’ll have their supposed not-titan eat them. That’ll show ‘em,” I replied to the mushroom’s question.

The enforcer, who didn’t have a clue what I was talking about or to whom, sprouted wings and took off toward Canterlot. From my perspective however, the odd badger had simply melted into the ground.

“Kay, bye,” I called to the nonexistent puddle. The next day I was forced to stop, as I had run out of biomatter. Once I had regained my faculties, I ordered the Gammas to fetch me two more hydras and inspected the work I had done so far. It was a fearsome sight, looking like a slightly flattened spider without any legs or abdomen. It had sets of eyes and ears all around its ‘thorax’ and its oversized head had a set of four mandibles, contributing to the distinctly alien look that I had settled on. The top of the leviathan was completely flat, allowing it to be used as a landing platform and so that supporting structures could be built directly into its back. There were a number of cavities inside the leviathan, some set aside as living quarters and others for equipment storage, and a number of entrances on the top and bottom of the creature. 

The enforcers arrived with the hydras I had requested and I spent the next two days building the leviathan’s legs and armor before giving it its own consciousness and orders to stay put. Declaring it finished, I collapsed. After a short while, one of the enforcers emerged from the edge of the forest with a manticore in his claws. The beast was still alive when he tossed it at me, my tired tendrils greedily consumed the poor creature before it could touch the ground. Feeling better, I thanked the enforcer and took off to check on Tzu and Luna.

Upon arriving at the control room, I noticed that the broken window had been repaired. I let myself in normally this time and found an angry Luna staring me down.

“Where have you been?” she said flatly.

“Building the new leviathan,” I said, thinking this would be obvious.

“And I would know that how? I thought you had abandoned us. On the same day that Dopple abandoned you, no less. I would have thought that you would be more sensitive about these matters, especially having felt them yourself so recently,” Luna lectured.

“I’m sorry I worried you, I just needed some time to think,” I apologized, then added, “And build us a better command center.”

“But you just left your army unsupervised, what kind of commander does that?” Luna asked, still angry.

“Commander? No, that’s Tzu. I’ve delegated this entire war to him,” I replied, gesturing towards the enforcer, who nodded.

“But, but, aargh,” Luna exclaimed, storming away.

“Sir, the Spooks have completed their mission. The skulls you requested are in the usual clearing near the cabin,” Tzu informed.

“That was fast,” I said surprised, “Give them to the new leviathan, it could use the biomass.”

“You have been gone a whole week!” Luna yelled from the other side of the room, where she was furiously kicking the wall. A Mike hopped out a window, presumably to relay my order regarding the skulls.

“Oh, it makes sense now. I get a little out of it when I’m making leviathans, this was the worst one yet,” I explained sheepishly.

“I’m not done being mad at you, I’ve found these,” Luna said, a number of files appearing in her telekinetic grasp.

“What’s that?” I asked, confused.

“You lied to me. Your ‘Spooks’ have been busy,” she accused.

I took the files, opening the first one before laughing and tossing them on the table, “Nope. Tzu, tag team explanation: Spooking.”

“Yes, sir. Ma’am Spooking is a game Romeo division invented some time ago, it involves one enforcer challenging another to prevent their assassination. As we cannot be harmed through normal means, this game poses no threat to us but is rather fun for both parties,” Tzu began dutifully.

“The challenger informs the other of their intentions and if accepted, and it always is, the hunt is on. It lasts for one week, if the challenger cannot inflict what would be a mortal wound in that time they lose,” I continued.

“The ‘prey’ may recruit others to act as guards or trust in their own situational awareness, the ‘hunter’ must act alone. The group known as the Spooks are actually just the Romeos with the highest scores in the game, rather than a dedicated unit. Though they may as well be, they have held their positions for quite some time now,” Tzu finished. Luna was baffled by this.

“You hunt each other? As a game?” Luna confirmed.

“Can you think of anything that would be more difficult?” I countered, already knowing her answer.

“No, I can’t. But why? Doesn’t this cause some sort of resentment between enforcers?”

“Oh no, it’s all in good fun. Even I’ve been challenged a few times, that’s actually how the Spooks got started. One of them got me. You see, we don’t need to hunt your ponies when we can hunt each other constantly,” I answered with a smile, I’d noticed one of the Mikes creeping up behind Tzu.

“So your enforcers are not responsible for these deaths?” Luna asked in confirmation. Tzu spun on the spot and put a claw through the Mike’s head. I laughed at Tzu’s response to the obvious strategy.

“Good show, but no they’re not,” I replied, still laughing. Though now I was laughing at the look on the Mike’s face, which was still attached to Tzu’s claw. Luna was shocked by the actions of the two enforcers.

“I thought you said the Romeos were the ones who played this strange game?” Luna asked.

“No ma’am, the Romeos invented it and they are the best at it, but Spooking is played by all divisions,” Tzu replied, sinking his claw into the stone floor and ignoring the pleas of the Mike for release.

“How long are you going to keep him there?” I asked.

“Her actually, I identify as female,” the Mike corrected.

“That’s unusual, but my question still stands,” I commented. As the enforcers were genderless, they could choose whatever pronouns they wanted. The vast majority chose male pronouns, but it wasn’t unheard of for one to choose female ones.

“Keep who, where, sir?” Tzu asked, indulging in Spook shaming. The act of leaving a beaten hunter in a compromising position to highlight how badly they had failed, usually ignoring their existence while doing so.

“Let her go, Tzu. You know I don’t approve of Spook shaming, even if that was a terrible attempt,” I ordered. Tzu released the Mike immediately, who threw me a grateful smile before returning to her previous position.

“Do things always get more interesting when you enter a room?” Luna asked, “The past week was remarkably quiet.”

“Seems that way, couldn’t tell you why though,” I replied cheerfully, “What’s left on the agenda?”

“Nothing, everything has been accounted for and the enforcers are mobilized. All that’s left is to correct any issues that arise and wait,” Tzu answered.

“In that case, want to check out the new leviathan?” I asked Luna.

“I’ve been wondering about that. Didn’t you say that you didn’t want your enforcers in combat?” Luna inquired.

“And in a perfect world they won’t be, but I have no doubts that we will be relying on them heavily. Both the griffons and the minotaurs could take Equestria on their own. But together, and with the support of their allies, we don’t stand a chance without deploying the enforcers,” I responded.

“Then why am I sending my ponies to die?” Luna demanded.

“For the reasons I told you before. Solely using an army of enforcers would not do you any favors, but having them act primarily in a support role isn’t nearly as bad. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s a choice between allowing civilians to die and taking action, they will always fight,” I countered.

“And my soldiers?”

“Will have the best fortifications possible to fight from, this war will be a series of sieges. Most invasions that failed on Earth failed because it became too expensive to continue, I aim to manufacture the same conditions. The new leviathan is meant to act as our new command center as well as a troop carrying war machine in the event of an emergency,” I explained.

“I suppose I should inspect it then, you also promised to introduce me to the one you call Jeffrey,” Luna responded. We made our way to the balcony and took flight toward Ponyville.

“You’re going to get a kick out of this,” I said as we flew.

“What?” Luna asked.

“You know Twilight Sparkle? Your sister’s prized student?” I asked, a smirk forming.

“Yes, what of her?” Luna inquired, confused.

“That tree she lives in is actually Jeffrey, he literally comes out of the walls when you call him,” I answered.

“That is a terrifying thought, it sounds like something out of a horror novel,” Luna commented as we closed in on the town. We landed in front of the library to find the other residents of the town were gathered nearby, talking amongst themselves about who and what Twilight had been talking to for the past week. I made my way inside the library without knocking to find a crazed looking Twilight trying to interpret the emotions of a familiar skinless head. Luna remained outside to reassure the townsponies that everything was under control.

“Twilight! Go take a shower and go to sleep. Jeffrey, don’t let her do shit like this to herself,” I barked, startling both of them.

“But I still have so much to learn about reading faces! Who could sleep at a time like this?” Twilight raved at a spot somewhere to my right. 

“You will take a shower or I will bathe you myself,” I threatened.

“No, I have to be the best student I can be. I promised Jeff, and the princess says you always have to keep your promises,” Twilight responded foolishly. What followed was an embarrassing series of events involving me carrying the screaming unicorn upstairs and forcibly scrubbing the days worth of filth out of her coat. 

“What did we learn?” I asked the struggling unicorn as I carried her to her bed.

“You’re a big meany!” Twilight cried as she kicked me in the face repeatedly.

“No, we learned that I don’t make empty threats and that you should listen to me,” I corrected patronizingly.

“Hmph,” Twilight responded, falling limp as she realized that she wasn’t even slowing me down. I placed her on her bed and pulled the blankets over her, tucking her in as I had Freydis so many years ago. She was asleep in seconds. I made my way back downstairs to confront Jeffrey about his irresponsible behavior.

“The fuck Jeff?” I asked once I was in the main room.

“I’m sorry hun, she insisted on continuing. I’ve been trying to get her to sleep for ages,” Jeffrey said apologetically. Luna finally entered the library, muttering about the building being haunted. She took one look at Jeffrey and screamed.

“Quiet, you’ll wake up Twilight,” Jeffrey and I said in unison.

“What?” Luna’s fear was replaced with confusion.

“I just got her to bed, by force I might add,” I said with a glare toward Jeffrey, “Something you are perfectly capable of, by the way.”

“I couldn’t do that to one of my babies,” the leviathan replied, offended.

“Tough. If she goes bat-shit again, that’s exactly what you are going to do,” I ordered, considering the matter closed.

“But what about my other babies? Should I force them to bed too,” Jeffrey asked angrily. I considered the question for a moment, we were living in the open now after all.

“If they are adults and mentally sound, then no. If you are talking about children, ask their parents if they would like some help around the house. Preferably without causing a panic, and then slowly integrate into the family,” I replied, hoping the town wouldn’t be in flames the next time I visited.

“Huh, I actually like those orders hun. I get to be closer to my babies now!” Jeffrey said excitedly. Luna appeared to have mixed feelings on the matter.

“But what about their privacy?” she asked with a hard look towards Jeffrey.

“Jeff,” I said, passing the question to the leviathan.

“Dear, I know when my babies need their privacy. I’m here to protect them, not peep on them,” Jeffrey replied in his usual way.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Luna commented, I understood completely.

“Jeff isn’t very good with words, but he is sincere about protecting them without being intrusive,” I added before wondering out loud, “Maybe if we introduced him to the town, they’d react better?”

“That’s quite a gambit you’re proposing, Jekyll,” Luna stated.

“I like the idea,” Jeff said, voicing his opinion. Two against one.

Luna followed me outside, fortunately the townsponies were still grouped on the other side of the square. I called them over, claiming there was nothing to be afraid of. They waited for Luna to agree before coming any closer.

“Alright,” I began, “I know you’ve all been wondering what Twilight has been doing for the past couple days.”

“She’s been hanging out with some kind of horrid monster,” Rarity cried.

“Sort of. You see, this town was founded in the ‘shadow’ of my hunting grounds in the Everfree. I just sort of became its protector. To aid in this, I created a creature whose sole purpose was to protect the town and all of you. That creature is what Twilight has been talking to for the past couple days,” I explained.

“And where is this ‘creature’ now?” Rainbow asked, leaning against a nearby tree. I gestured at the whole town in a sweeping motion.

“Mostly underground, but it has slowly replaced some of the buildings and decorative plants with itself. The library was never actually a tree, it’s always been the leviathan,” I continued. They were starting to look nervous. Rainbow jumped away from the tree.

“Why? What’s this varmint been doin’?” AJ called from the rear of the crowd. There were concerned mutterings throughout the ponies.

“Ever noticed a foal just miss a table when dropped, or not be hurt when they hit the ground?” I asked in lieu of an answer. Many faces turned to shock.

“Really? Then why’s it been messing with Twilight?” Spike asked, maneuvering to the front of the crowd.

“It’s the other way around, Twilight has been pestering Jeff. He has a bit of an issue saying ‘no,’” I responded.

“I believe you,” Spike said simply before walking into the library, presumably to go to sleep. Poor little guy looked exhausted. 

“So why are you telling us all this?” Rainbow asked, now hovering.

“Well, I’ve ordered Jeff to make Twilight go to bed when she decides to lose her damn mind. And it came up that he could help out around the town if you lot want him to. Jeff, show yourself. And don’t be creepy.” A vaguely pony shaped figure grew out of the side of the library, it actually had skin for once too. The locals took a step away from the new arrival, probably because it was covered in eyes and connected to the outer wall of the library.

“I believe Jekyll told you not to be creepy,” Luna commented.

“Is this creepy? I’m so sorry dearies,” Jeffrey replied, all but two of the eyes disappearing, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“This don’t look like what Twi was talkin’ to,” AJ said as she walked up to inspect the creature before her. Rainbow approached as well, not wanting to be outdone by her ‘rival.’

“I’m a shapeshifter, sweety,” Jeffrey replied easily.

“Do you like parties?” Pinkie asked, appearing out of nowhere. ‘Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie.’

“I haven’t missed a single one you’ve thrown, dear,” Jeffrey responded happily, “In fact, I’ve been providing the music.”

This put all of them at ease, for some reason, so Luna and I began walking towards the forest. Jeffrey could handle things from here, and I was getting bored. We took flight once we passed the last houses to skip the long walk through the forest itself, arriving at the old castle shortly after. What we found there was not what anyone was expecting.

“The fuck?” I asked the universe.

“Did you know about this?” Luna asked, just as confused.

“Hell no, I don’t even know how to feel about this,” I replied honestly.

“Are we in danger? It does not appear mentally stable.” Luna’s confusion was turning into fear.

“No, a creature like this is defined by its size. It’s too slow to hit anything small and fast, like us, but 
it also has nothing to fear from anything that small. Well, except me,” I answered.

“And why is that?” Luna asked, indignant at not being included in the exception.

“Because I put it together, therefore I can take it apart,” I responded before turning my attention to the leviathan, “Yo, why the fuck are you covered in zebra skulls?”

“My mission is to break the enemy, wearing their dead shall break their spirits,” the leviathan thundered.

“Dude, turn it down a notch,” I ordered, picking at one of my ears. I noticed Luna doing the same.

“My apologies, I do not know how to modulate my voice,” the leviathan apologized.

“I meant the crazy, I don’t need you going full ‘Abaddon’ on me,” I corrected.

“Is that my name?” the leviathan asked.

“Trust me bro, you don’t want to be associated with ‘Failbaddon the armless,’” I answered.

“I do not possess arms,” the giant creature pointed out, I was forced to admit that it was right.

“Okay, you’re Abaddon now. Maybe you can make the name mean something,” I replied, choking back a laugh.

“Jay, what just happened?” Luna asked, not having understood what I was talking about.

“Our flagship leviathan has fallen to Chaos,” I said, breaking into a laugh.

“By the stars! We must flee, I need to warn the town,” Luna responded, taking flight in panic.

“Calm down, that was a joke,” I said, grabbing her leg to prevent her from flying away.

“Do not joke of such things, you did not live through Discord’s reign,” Luna chastised.

“What ever happened to him?” I asked, distracted by Luna’s comment.

“The Elements of Harmony turned him to stone, he sits in the palace gardens as a decoration now,” Luna replied. I was horrified.

“Are you serious? Luna, I can overpower the Elements when they try to do the same thing to me. It barely fazes me, Canterlot is in serious danger,” I said, running towards Abaddon.

“Jekyll, he has been in that state for several thousand years. I doubt he would act now, even if he could,” Luna responded, following after me. We took flight to reach the titanic form of Abaddon.

“Even if I’m wrong, Tzu will need to factor Abaddon into his plans and move everything here,” I said as we landed on Abaddon’s back, just behind his head.

“A fair point, what are you thinking?” Luna asked.

“I designed Abaddon for a multitude of actions, most of them are command and control related, however. His back is designed to have additional structures built directly into it,” I explained.

“Won’t that hurt?” Luna asked, showing concern for the city block sized creature.

“No ma’am, I’ll simply move the material around the foundation,” an insectoid head said, making Luna jump and causing me to raise an eyebrow. Abaddon at least opted to add a humanoid torso to go along with the head that had sprouted from the ground, “Oh, it seems I can control the volume of this head.”

“You know what, I like that. Don’t worry about the volume of your main head, it’ll be useful during battles. But for now, head north until you can see a city on the side of a mountain, that’s our destination,” I ordered.

“Understood,” Abaddon replied simply, setting off immediately. The ride was even smoother than I had been anticipating. I decided to give Luna a tour of the internal structures of the leviathan, showing her the various rooms inside the creature and how the ‘doors’ would only open for authorized individuals.

“They’re mouths. I feel like I’m being eaten repeatedly. Jekyll, anypony stationed here will hate this,” Luna pointed out, I hadn’t thought about that.

“Ma’am, I have limited shapeshifting capabilities. If you would like, I can adjust the appearance of the doors to fit your liking,” Abaddon said before I could suggest an answer.

“Not a bad idea Abaddon,” I commented, ”Luna, why don’t you work with him to make this place more friendly?”

“If you could make the doors look like wood, it would be a good start. And the red lights will need to go, white or yellow would be much better. The walls make me feel like I’m in something’s stomach, sharp corners and a white or light gray color will work much better,” Luna listed, each of her recommendations taking form as she said them.

“It looks like a real bunker now,” I commented, inspecting one of the walls, “Abaddon, keep the red lights but only use them as a warning system.”

“Understood, we are nearly at our destination,” Abaddon replied. Luna and I returned to Abaddon’s back to watch our approach. Luna opted to stand just behind Abaddon’s main head and watch the scenery pass by. I walked up to stand next to her.

“Never thought you’d ride a giant home, eh?” I asked.

“Understatement of my life,” Luna replied, “Jay, what are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I was rescued from the Nightmare less than two weeks ago, since then I have had my first drink, my first kiss, gotten married, apparently lost my virginity, and now I’m riding a titan to continue preparing for war. And on top of that, I can’t remember half of those things!” Luna exclaimed.

“I know what you mean, I was there for all of those too. I’m still kind of confused about that fourth one, I don’t exactly have the equipment,” I said, gesturing to my lack of reproductive organs.

“Shapeshifter,” Luna commented dryly.

“You’re missing the point. Being made of Blacklight, I’m asexual. I don’t have any drive, even while drunk. I don’t get how it could have happened,” I explained.

“I think that means I must have pressured you. You haven’t denied me anything yet, so I think it makes sense,” Luna responded, deep in thought.

“I wonder if I was any good,” I said before being punted off Abaddon’s back. I flew back to my previous position, howling with laughter, “Madness? This. Is. ABADDON!”

“I believe it is both,” Luna said, predictably missing the reference.

“I don’t understand,” Abaddon said, not having any reference for what we were talking about or why Luna had attacked me.

“We got drunk a while back and woke up married, it’s kind of a secret,” I summarized.

“What is drunk?” Abaddon asked.

“It’s when you’ve had too much alcohol and make bad decisions,” Luna answered curtly.

“Why would you do something like that?” Abaddon pressed further.

“Because it feels great at the time, and the results can be hilarious later,” I responded.

“To some,” Luna added.

“How much alcohol would it take to get me drunk?” Abaddon inquired, he was unusually curious for a leviathan.

“All of it, maybe more,” I answered, internally wondering what havoc the leviathan would cause.

“I see, so does that make you my parents?” the leviathan asked, causing both Luna and I to choke on our next words. I recovered first and answered.

“Yes? At least I am,” I said, unsure how to actually answer Abaddon’s question.

“If you got divorced, who would I live with?” Abaddon continued.

“How do you know the word ‘divorced’ but not ‘drunk?’” I countered.

“I don’t know,” Abaddon responded.

“Abaddon, you are the size of a small town. You would obviously live with me,” Luna said, finding her voice and sense of humor.

“Bullshit, step-mom. He’s my flesh and blood, he should live with me,” I rebuked.

“I can get him into a better school,” Luna argued.

“You couldn’t get him into ANY school, I can teach him everything he could want to know,” I shot back.

“Like the best ways to decorate himself with skulls?” Luna said pointedly.

“You’d paint him pink,” I accused.

“I would never, though it would be better than this dreary black color you’ve made him,” Luna replied.

“That’s racist!” I shouted.

“What?” Luna asked, confused.

“Skin color is a big deal on Earth, for some reason,” Abaddon answered.

“How the fuck do you know that?” I asked Abaddon.

“Now you’re swearing at our child,” Luna accused.

“You’re abusive,” I countered. 

She slapped me before arguing, “I am not!”

I broke first, collapsing in fits of laughter. Luna wasn’t far behind, landing next to me. Then the screaming started. Luna and I shot to our feet to see what was happening, we had been so wrapped up in our fake argument that we hadn’t noticed Abaddon climbing the mountain. Now his footsteps had woken the citizens, who had taken one look at the giant closing in on their homes and panicked.

“Fear not citizens, I have come to protect you!” Abaddon thundered, any citizens that weren’t awake before definitely were now.

“I shall handle this,” Luna said taking flight. After a moment the screaming quieted a bit, enough for me to hear shouts that ‘the end was nigh.’

“Don’t take it personally, they react like this to loads of stuff. They’ll get over it in a couple hours,” I told Abaddon, noticing a number of dark shapes fly out of the eastern tower and close on my position. Tzu was the first to land.

“Sir, this is more than I was expecting,” Tzu commented, looking around.

“Tzu this is Abaddon, Abaddon this is Tzu. You two are going to be working together for the foreseeable future. Play nice,” I said, introducing the new leviathan.

“Understood,” they chimed and began to discuss how to best utilize Abaddon in the coming war. I, however, took flight in search of Luna.

I found her in our old control room, several Mikes were already taking everything to the new war room that was deep within Abaddon’s body. I was hesitant to call the room I was standing in a war room because it wouldn’t hold up to a minor battle, the tower would be one of the first structures to fall. However, were the same room located under Abaddon’s six inch thick scales and protected by his razor sharp tusks, I would have no problem describing it as a war room.

“You okay?” I asked, she seemed sad for some reason.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I just feel like everything is moving so fast, all the time.”

“I understand, but it should all calm down now,” I said in an attempt to comfort her.

“You really think so?” Luna asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I do. Tzu’s got this, we can take a backseat for a while and just relax,” I replied.

“Relax. I barely know the word,” Luna spat.

“When was the last time you took a vacation?” I asked, concerned.

“Never! This stupid crown has chained me to these stupid responsibilities ever since Tia and I defeated Discord. Before that, my life revolved around learning to rule and training to beat that damnable creature,” Luna sobbed, seizing her crown in her telekinesis and throwing it across the room. It bent upon striking the wall.

“Okay, let’s get you to bed. I’ll handle everything and tomorrow we can go to the beach, maybe even stay there for a few days,” I said.

“But what about Tia?” Luna asked.

“Fuck Chelly, who gives a shit what she wants,” I replied, leading Luna out of the room and towards her chambers.

“I do,” a familiar voice said. Celestia stepped out of a nearby hallway into our path. I continued leading Luna towards her room, forcing Celestia to walk with us if she wanted to talk.

“Good morning, sister,” Luna said robotically.

“Good morning Lulu, what was that about not caring what I want?” Celestia asked.

“I’m taking Luna on her first vacation, any objections?” I countered darkly.

“But what of her duties? She’s installed herself as the head of our military. Without my approval, I might add,” Celestia shot back.

“Maybe if you hadn’t started this war I wouldn’t have to,” Luna snapped.

“For what, a few empty threats? They’d never kill me, they need me to keep the sun moving,” Celestia replied smugly.

“No, they don’t. They need an alicorn. Luna is perfectly capable of moving the sun, just like how you were able to move the moon while she was gone,” I said, shattering Celestia’s bravado.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Celestia said simply, true terror on her face as she realized the position she was in.

“That sound you heard earlier was your hubris knocking on the door, I might add,” I spat. Celestia stopped moving altogether. Then without warning, she sprinted away, one wing coming loose and dragging behind her. 

“That was a bit harsh,” Luna commented.

“Why the hell are we protecting her again?” I asked.

“Because when considering our options, it is the least undesirable,” Luna answered, as though it was obvious.

“For you perhaps. How the hell did I end up protecting ‘Nice Hitler?’” I asked, realizing what that meant as I said it, “But that means I’m fighting for the Nazis and I don’t like this metaphor anymore.”

“What’s a Nazi?” Luna asked.

“Everything wrong with my original species. They were good people who got swept up in a twisted way of thinking, somewhere around ten million innocent people died before the rest of the planet beat them into oblivion. Hitler was the name of their leader, coward offed himself before he could be brought to justice,” I explained, “And that isn’t counting the casualties of the war against them.”

“That’s horrible! Why would your people do that to each other?” Luna asked, shocked.

“Imagine the gryphons during their most warlike time. Now magnify that a hundred times, now give them weapons that can kill millions in an instant. You are now imagining a group of humans. We have never known world peace, that’s why I fight so hard to maintain it here,” I answered.

“I can see why. After living like that, Equestria must feel like a breath of fresh air,” Luna replied.

“I didn’t live in those kinds of conditions, I was lucky enough to be born in America. Nobody messes with America, everyone who has tried throughout history has gotten stomped. Biggest kid on the playground, you know?” I said, causing Luna to nod in understanding.

“So your criticism is out of sympathy for others, then?” Luna asked, confirming what she already knew.

“Yes, but we should be talking about the here and now. Has Tzu gotten the training program ready?” I asked, shifting the conversation to more important topics.

“They have already been implemented, the enforcers you sent to help have been instrumental in making sure the new soldiers are ready for any opponent. I don’t know how we could have done this without them,” Luna praised, though I thought she was giving the enforcers too much credit, it took a lot of dedication and courage for a pony to stand up against one of the other races.

“You should give your soldiers more credit,” I advised, “How has your training been going?”

“I haven’t started yet,” Luna admitted, her head low.

“Damnit Lu, if you’re going to fight next to your people, you’re going to have to learn how. You aren’t going to win this war by slacking off,” I snapped.

“I know, but I’ve been busy working with Tzu,” Luna countered weakly.

“All I’m hearing are excuses, training to fight is part of preparing for war. And you need to trust your generals to make the right decisions, micromanaging them will only hurt you in the long run. You do know that we’re going to be training on the beach now?” I lectured, if Luna’s head dropped any lower it would be dragging on the floor.

“There goes my vacation,” she said sadly.

“Nah, it’ll only be a couple hours each day. We’ll have the whole rest of the day for you to get a tan,” I joked, we had arrived at Luna’s bedroom. The guards quickly searched the room before following us inside.

“Although, if you agreed not to fight they would probably stop targeting you,” I suggested.

“Out of the question, I will not hide while my ponies are fighting and dying,” Luna declared.

“I expected no less,” I said with pride before turning to one of the disguised enforcers, “Take a message to Tzu. I want a Mike sent to every world leader, make sure they know that any targeted action against Luna outside of battle will result in the extinction of the offending species. Tell them to take a look at the Zebras’ assassins if they think I’m joking. And have a squad of Gammas watch over the statue of Discord in the gardens. If it moves, kill it.”

The enforcer took off through the nearest window, another walked over and closed it behind him. Neither spoke.

“Is it strange that I find that comforting?” Luna asked as she climbed into bed, “Maybe it has something to do with having such a dedicated protector.”

“Great, I’m just a trumped up bodyguard,” I joked as I took my normal seat. Luna tossed and turned for several minutes before looking at me and grumbling about not being able to sleep. I extended a tendril in her direction as a joke, but she accepted it after complaining about the indignity of needing help to get to sleep.

We stayed like this for a couple hours before Luna began to stir, beginning to thrash in her sleep as she was attacked by a nightmare. I sent another tendril to wrap around her shoulders and she calmed back down. A few minutes later, however, her eyes fluttered open.

“Jay?” She asked softly.

“Yes, Luna?”

“Would you lay with me? I’ve been having some truly dreadful nightmares this past week,” She asked even softer than before, catching me off guard. 

“Of course,” I said, turning to one of the enforcers, “Reinforce the bed, it won’t do for it to break under my weight and tell Tzu to make it a permanent thing tomorrow.”

I climbed into the bed after the enforcer scurried underneath and had a moment to shape himself to the task of holding up the bed. The bed still sagged toward my side, so I shuffled toward the center and waited for the enforcer to level it out. Meanwhile, Luna had been pulled into my side by a combination of gravity and the pair of tendrils that she was already wrapped up in, though she didn’t complain as I replaced the tendrils with an arm. We remained like that the rest of the day. Luna slept peacefully with her head resting on my chest, my right arm holding her protectively. My eyes never stopped scanning the room. I had decided that Luna was Equestria’s best chance for a lasting peace, one that could span millennia, and I was not going to let anything happen to her.

Luna actually overslept, likely for the first time in her life. I watched the sun fall and the moon rise from my position on the bed. Celestia attempted to barge in shortly after only to be silenced by one of the enforcers, who launched a glob of biomass onto her muzzle. I beckoned her over with my free arm before she could force the biomass off her face.

“I’ll take this off, but I need you to be quiet. Luna hasn’t been sleeping well for a while now, this was the only way she could get to sleep today,” I exaggerated, Celestia’s eyes widened and she nodded her understanding. I removed the biomass allowing her to speak.

“I didn’t realize it was this bad,” Celestia whispered.

“I think it’s just aftershocks left over from Nightmare Moon, but the assassination attempts are probably affecting her as well. She’s been putting on a brave face, but needing me to hold her while she sleeps speaks volumes,” I continued, my voice barely audible.

“I’m not as cold-hearted as you think. If my sister needs you like this, I won’t bother you about it. You also have my blessing for your little vacation, I can manage the army in her absence,” Celestia said, giving me pause.

“I’ve got that covered. If you want to help, talk to Tzu. Any red-eyed guard can direct you to him, he’s my best strategist,” I suggested.

“Alright, I’ll see you both when you get back,” Celestia said as she quietly backed away and left, one of the guards gently closing the door behind her. Luna didn’t wake up until almost dawn, nearly a full day after falling asleep.

“Hey sleepyhead, I was starting to think you’d died,” I joked as Luna blinked the sleep out of her eyes.

“Uhhh, what time is it?” Luna asked groggily.

“Almost dawn, you’ve been asleep for almost a whole day. Seemed like you needed it, and Chelly wasn’t too mad either,” I informed her, she shot awake.

“Tia saw us? Oh, no. What are we going to do?” Luna asked in a mild panic.

“About what, you being plagued by nightmares left over from being the embodiment of said nightmares and a good friend helping you sleep?” I replied.

“You told her that? What did she say?” Luna asked, surprised.

“She said that she understood and wouldn’t bug us. She also endorsed our vacation, not that we needed her approval,” I answered, it occurred to me that Luna was still nestled under my arm and didn’t look like she was about to get up.

“That’s a relief. Have you been laying like that all day?” Luna asked, noticing that I was in the same position as when she had fallen asleep.

“This is nothing. I once went three months without moving, right in the middle of Sombra’s courtroom, just to prove a point. By the end he was using me as a coat rack,” I said, chuckling at the pleasant memory.

“That would have been quite a sight, I imagine you made yourself as inconvenient as possible?” Luna guessed.

“Oh yeah, right in front of his throne. After a few weeks, he got mad and dragged the thing off to the side by himself,” I said, causing Luna to laugh and wedge herself further against my chest.

“Did he ever move it back?” she asked, still smiling.

“No, he never did. Claimed that he liked the view from his new spot more.”

“That does sound like him, always the stubborn type.”

“It’s almost dawn, what do you say we make our way to the beach?” I suggested.

“I suppose, did you get hotel reservations?” Luna asked.

“We don’t need reservations. You’re a princess, I’m terrifying, and we’re both rich. Besides where we’re going, I know the owners of the best hotel around. We’ll be fine,” I said, still waiting for Luna to actually move.

“You, rich? When did this happen?” Luna wondered aloud.

“I’ve been collecting bounties on dangerous predators for centuries without having any expenses, it adds up pretty quickly. I’m a rather savvy investor as well, under a pseudonym of course,” I explained.

“You have all the makings of a terrible villain, you’re just missing the attitude. How do you do it?” Luna asked, clearly stalling to stay in the warm bed.

“I never gave up on the principles that guide me: an appreciation for all life, the value of friends, and the ability to know when someone is stalling,” I said with a knowing smirk.

“Drats, my devious plot has been thwarted. Curse you Jekyll, you haven’t seen the last of me,” Luna said.

“Your ‘devious plot’ should have gotten out of bed a while ago,” I commented, giving the aforementioned plot a squeeze and causing Luna to make a sound akin to a startled chinchilla as she jumped out of the bed.

“That wasn’t funny,” Luna said, shivering at the comparatively cold room.

“I thought it was funny,” one of the guards said.

“Sup Bluff,” I called to the guard, climbing out of the bed myself.

“Not much, Jay,” Bluff replied. Luna huffed and walked into the bathroom, returning after a few minutes.

“Alright, let’s go,” I said, my wings forming.

“Why don’t we take one of my chariots, save the energy of flying there. I’d rather not fight with sore wings,” Luna said, cutting me off before I could reach the balcony.

“We can start training tomorrow, no sense in ruining a perfectly good vacation on the first day,” I conceded.

“I still say we should take a chariot,” Luna pressed, walking out the door.

“Alright, but I’m bringing a squad of guards,” I compromised as I followed her down the hallway.

“Only if they stay out of the way,” Luna declared.

“Of what? It’s a beach, it’s warm, you lounge around. There’s nothing to get in the way of,” I reasoned.

“Sounds boring,” Luna commented.

“You seemed quite content a few minutes ago,” I countered.

“Fair enough, the garage is just up here,” Luna said, turning down a hallway towards where the chariots were stored.

“Luna?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve spent more time in these hallways than you have.”

“Shut up.”

The ponies who worked in the garage were startled to see us enter, as Celestia usually sent a messenger. But they set us up with a chariot and drivers right away. I sent one of Luna’s guards to Tzu with orders to have a squad of Gammas sent to the open beach south of Baltimare, locally known as Lucky’s Place. I was surprised to find that the chariot could take my weight, and even more surprised that the drivers could fly while being as weighed down as they were. Luna informed me as we traveled that the chariots had spells to counteract the weight of the occupants, thus allowing for the drivers to travel longer distances and that this had been a common practice before she was banished. I felt stupid.

Once we arrived at the beach I had directed them to, we thanked the drivers and let them return to Canterlot. We’d be making our own way back. Luna squinted against the bright light for a moment before teleporting a swimsuit and pair of sunglasses directly onto herself, a feat I found rather impressive. Although I hadn’t figured Luna for the lime green bikini sort.

“Planning on going swimming already?” I asked, a devious idea taking form.

“Swimming? Well, I hadn’t thought that far yet, but it seems like a grand idea,” Luna agreed, striding confidently towards the ocean water. I followed her in, disappearing into the shallow water once it had reached my knees. I moved as a mass of tendrils through the water, occasionally brushing against Luna’s legs as I made a looping path towards the deeper ocean. From there I sat and waited until I saw the outline of Luna on the surface, paddling in a circle with her wings. I snaked a tendril up towards the surface and began tapping Luna’s leg. When she didn’t respond I wrapped the tendril around her hoof and gave it a gentle tug, launching myself towards the space next to her.

“Got you,” I said to an unamused Luna.

“You would have scared me if I hadn’t seen you when you passed me in the shallows,” Luna replied, continuing to paddle around.

“Well crap, I thought that was a good one,” I said in defeat.

“Jekyll could you stop touching my leg, please?” Luna requested, but I wasn’t touching her.

“Luna. I’m not,” I said just before she went under. I followed as fast as I could and caught up quickly, finding an odd pony-squid hybrid with a tentacle wrapped around Luna. It had what appeared to be a pony’s head, but the neck split into the creature’s tentacles. I attacked without mercy, not stopping until I had reduced it to biomass and Luna was paddling furiously for the surface. 

I sped over and assisted her in her quest for oxygen, latching a tendril over the lower part of her face and forming it into a sort of regulator. I grew a set of gills and began feeding her air. Once she realized that she could breathe, she began pointing further down with one of her forehooves. Getting the message, I wrapped myself across her back and powered her towards the bottom of the ocean. Once there I allowed some of the oxygen I had been trapping to escape, enabling Luna to walk across the ocean floor and inspect the different kinds of life found there. I suspected she may have been the first pony to see such things, if her attempts to swim to the surface had been any indication.

After a few minutes, I heard the sound of something large swimming towards the bloody remnants of the squid-thing. The shark passed us by before circling back for a closer look, I grew several more tendrils and added barbs to all of them. Sticking them out in all directions, I managed to make us seem unappealing enough for the shark to turn away. Luna didn’t seem to care and continued to inspect the different kinds of coral, occasionally stopping to play with a fish or two. After a few more minutes she decided to head back to shore, however she had gotten turned around and began walking parallel to the beach.

After a few unsuccessful attempts to get her to turn, I reinflated the ballasts in my tendrils and slowly elevated us to the surface. I released Luna and opted to swim next to her as we made our way back to shore.

“So, aside from the rough start, what did you think?” I asked.

“It’s incredible, I never knew there were so many kinds of fish. Did you see that big one? I thought it was going to try to eat us,” Luna exclaimed excitedly.

“That was a shark, and it would have loved to eat us. The ocean is a pretty ruthless place when you get to the bigger creatures,” I advised.

“And those rocks with the holes in them, I’ve never heard of anything like that before,” Luna continued.

“You’re probably the first pony to ever see them. We stumbled across a coral reef, those rocks are actually made by thousands of tiny creatures all working together to make homes for the next generation,” I explained.

“Amazing, it’s like a whole other world down there,” Luna said, still ecstatic over going diving for the first time.

“It basically is, but we should get to shore before another rumor starts up that I killed you. Hop on,” I commanded, Luna clambered on top of me awkwardly. I grew even more tendrils and shifted each one into a paddle shape before taking off for the beach at breakneck speed, Luna had her hooves around my neck and was hanging on for dear life. As we closed in on the shore I flattened my body out to act as a buffer between Luna and the sand, hitting it at full speed and grinding to a halt in front of a shocked group of ponies.

“Jekyll?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“We must do that again sometime!”

I burst into laughter, returning to my normal form in the process. Though it wasn’t until I stood up that I realized Luna was still attached to my neck, although now she was draped across my back in a rather suggestive looking position. And the other ponies were still staring at us.

“You can let go now, Luna. We’re out of the water,” I said to the mare wrapped around my neck, before addressing the others, “She’s just a little scared, we had a few run ins with some dangerous creatures while we were out there. Nothing to worry about though, they were really far out to sea.”

They seemed to accept this and returned to what they were doing, mostly lying on the beach or swimming in the shallows. Luna was still attached to my neck as I walked over to one of the longer chairs, the kind you see at pools that are half bed, I never learned what they were called. I extended my arms and set Luna’s rear legs onto the chair before positioning myself directly over it and removing my head for a moment, causing her to fall the couple inches onto the chair. I drug another over and sat down, noticing Luna’s forelegs were still in the same position. I decided to give her time, lying back and relaxing in the warm glow of the afternoon sun.

“Jay, I’m scared,” I heard Luna say. I shot up and searched for a threat, finding none.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, Luna was still in the same position.

“I can’t move,” she cried, fear evident in her voice. Some nearby ponies heard and started shouting for a doctor.

“Fuck, you must have been stung by something. Bear with me, this is going to suck,” I said positioning myself over her.

“What are y-,” she managed before my body erupted into trillions of tendrils and searched through every cell in her blood, muscles, and nervous system, rooting out every trace of the toxin and absorbing it harmlessly. Once my work was completed, my tendrils retracted and I returned to my previous position.

“I feel violated,” Luna managed.

“That toxin may have been lethal, I’m sorry but I couldn’t take the chance,” I apologized. 

“Not by you, I understand how you work. As soon as you...invaded me, I knew you were hunting whatever was hurting me. You did the same thing to that sea monster. I feel violated by whatever it was that poisoned me, but your procedure did ‘suck’ by the way,” Luna corrected, leaving me with mixed feelings. How could anyone be okay with having their cells invaded and searched one by one, but be upset about a proverbial bee sting? A crowd was beginning to gather nearby but kept quiet, so I ignored them for the time being.

“Luna, a normal pony would hate me for doing that. They would have insisted that I should have waited for a pony doctor. Why aren’t you angry?” I asked.

“I have known you for less than two weeks, but I feel as if I know enough to believe that you will never allow me to be harmed. Especially by yourself. That is why I sleep better when you are in the room, that is why you’re more than just my self-imposed bodyguard, that is why you’re more than just my friend. Besides, is there anypony alive that knows more about poisons than you?” Luna said, evidently forgetting about all the ponies standing a short ways behind her.

“No,” I admitted, “Same for diseases, I do have a major advantage though. You know it isn’t fair to compare any normal doctor to me.”

“That is why I’m not angry. I forgot to tell you earlier, after I came to grips with what you are I made you my personal physician. You now hold every seat on my cabinet. Well, except for Tzu, but he belongs to you anyway. Close enough. I would have told you earlier, but you were off in the forest building even stronger monstrosities to protect me. I’d ask you why, but I admit I am afraid of the answer,” Luna continued.

“That’s an easy one, you’re my best friend. You gave me my life back when you stood up to your sister and pardoned me. You gave me the chance to live by my own merits, rather than hiding from the law every day for crimes I didn’t commit. I’m here, on this beach, right now, because of you. And I will happily spend the rest of eternity repaying that debt. Ask Lucky how far I’ll go to help my friends, now imagine how far I’ll go, how hard I’ll fight, for my best friend,” I said softly, Luna was almost in tears and an already crying mare was walking up to her. 

“Uh, hi princess, I’m Lucky. Jay saved my life a few years ago. See, my husband and I had helped him hide from the princess, sorry, Princess Celestia, a while before. And when this huge storm came out of nowhere and trashed our inn, he was there. Just appeared out of the rain and held the building off of us while the other ones got us out of there. He even gave us the money to start up again out here. Sickness took my Silver last year, but at least he got to see his foals grow up. You should have seen them that night, all these terrifying creatures rescuing ponies left and right. They didn’t care who you were, as long as you were safe. But Jay came for us himself, and my fillies are alive because of him. They call him Uncle Jay, you know. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the fillies and colts in Equestria called him that. You’ve got one hay of a friend in that..whatever he is,” Lucky said, clear as day through her tears. One of the gathered ponies started quietly clapping, the rest followed shortly after. 

“I heard about Silver, I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I said sadly, “He was a good stallion.”

“It’s all right, I know you can’t be there to save us every time,” Lucky replied, her tone made it clear that she considered me free of any blame. I ignored her tone.

“But I should have been there that time. He was only in his thirties, he hadn’t even grown into his name yet. I could have saved him, I just didn’t hear about it in time. I’m so sorry,” I rebuked, dedicated to wallowing in self-loathing. Until a midnight blue hoof punched me out of my chair.

“Jekyll, do you remember what I told you about not being able to save everyone?” Luna asked, still seated.

“Yes I do, but this wasn’t one of those times. I wasn’t busy, I just didn’t know he was sick. I created Mike division the day after I found out, so that I wouldn’t fail any of my friends like that again,” I responded, Luna lifted me up and slammed me into the ground with her telekinesis, “Why are you doing this when you know that it doesn’t hurt me?”

“Would you prefer it if I gored you and started casting fireballs?”

“Fine, lesson learned, I’ll stop hating myself,” I said, shaking the sand off and returning to my chair.

“What was that?” Lucky asked, thoroughly confused.

“I am attempting to get Jekyll to see himself in a more positive light,” Luna answered.

“By beating him up? Doesn’t sound right to me. Princess, I don’t mean any disrespect, but Jay’s family to me and my girls. And anypony who’s going around bullying him isn’t welcome in my hotel. Now, I might be willing to forgive you because you’re doing it for a decent reason, but you can’t be beating on my family anymore. If you don’t want to sleep on the sand tonight, I suggest you apologize and figure out some other way to help Jay,” Lucky declared, one look at her face would tell you that she meant every word.

Luna was shocked, “But he doesn’t feel any pain.”

“Neither does a pillow. If you gotta beat on something to feel better about yourself, do it to something that won’t be humiliated by the treatment,” Lucky countered, her face reddening in anger contrasted sharply against her white coat.

“There’s more to it than that. Luna, I let you hit me. I may be smaller than you but I weigh several times as much as you do and when a pony kicks me, they break their leg. But I know that you’re still angry about everything you’ve been through, so I let you work your aggression out on me. At least until I can work out a better system,” I said seriously, startling Lucky and rattling Luna.

“I’m so sorry Jay, I’ve been such a fool. You’re both right. Jay, I am still angry at myself for allowing the Nightmare to control me. And Lucky, I know Jay isn’t at fault, I won’t attack him ever again,” Luna sobbed, openly crying.

“Alright you lot, get out of here!” Lucky shouted at the crowd, who fled immediately. They obviously respected this mare who had the guts to lecture one of the princesses.

“I’ll-I’ll just go back to Canterlot. Enjoy your vacation, you’ve definitely earned it,” Luna said, charging a spell.

A magic blocking glob of biomass impacted her horn before she could cast it, however. Her head spun towards where I was seated. My response made her gulp audibly, ”Oh no, you’re not getting out of this that easily. We came here for two reasons: to get away from Canterlot, and to teach you how to fight. We aren’t leaving until I decide those conditions are satisfied.”

“I feel sorry for you, princess. Silver tried to learn some self-defense from Jay, came back half dead a couple hours later,” Lucky commented.

“May I have my magic back? I will need to summon Nightbane,” Luna asked hesitantly.

“Not until you’ve mastered fighting without it,” I replied. Luna looked terrified at the prospect of fighting me in earnest.

“That’s not fair! You bound Silver’s wings,” Lucky complained.

“I was going to make that a surprise, thank you Lucky,” I replied dryly.

“I’m beginning to feel more like a prisoner than a vacationer,” Luna commented, her eyes wide.

“There are worse places to be. For example, there was a time when not even demons could survive in Tartarus,” I replied, an evil smirk spreading across my face.

“That makes no sense, how could demons not be able to survive in their own homeland?” Luna asked.

“Ask your sister,” I replied, knowing exactly what Celestia would say. She’d tell Luna to ask me, I was the one who dropped a leviathan on them after all.

“I’ll do that, just as soon as I am capable of doing so. In the meantime, I believe I’ll take your advice and just enjoy the day,” Luna said, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes.

“Care to join us Lucky?” I asked, reaching for another chair with a tendril.

“Sure. Lily has the hotel covered for now, so I can spare a few more minutes,” Lucky responded.

I pulled the chair over and Lucky laid down, uncaring that she had opted to lay on her back and was not wearing a swimsuit. I supposed she wasn’t hurting anything as there weren't any other ponies around, Luna was dead to the world, and I certainly didn’t care. ‘I should probably say something, poor mare’s going to embarrass herself.’

“Hey, Lucky?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re naked.”

“I know.”

“And lying on your back.”

“I know.”

“Just checking,” I said, satisfied that I had done my due diligence.

“I’m almost forty, Jay. How else am I supposed to find myself a nice stallion at my age?” she asked innocently. I burst out laughing, falling out of my chair and landing face down in the sand. I made sure to sprout more eyes to watch the area, even as I choked on the sand I was laughing into. 

Luna opened a single eye, looked at me, looked at Lucky, and said, “Stallions, they’re the same all over.”

“Nah, Jay’s different. He only asked because I’ve done weirder things in the past without realizing what I’d done,” Lucky replied. I got control of myself and returned to my seat.

“Yeah. It wouldn’t be the first time you flashed a whole mess of ponies, I remember the time you passed out in a barrel outside The Dead Crabs. Just your ass end hanging out for the world to see,” I jibed, making the accused mare laugh and Luna raise an eyebrow.

“All I remember is your sadistic method of waking me up. Spanking a grown mare in public, have you no shame?” Lucky asked in mock offense.

“You’re one to talk. If you keep this up, your patrons are going to wonder if you’re running a brothel on the side,” I warned, somewhat fearful of her response.

“Now there’s an idea, least I’d finally get some action,” the cougar replied, I couldn’t tell if she was serious or not.

“By the stars, you two were made for each other. But don’t your daughters work in the hotel? Or have I interpreted the situation wrong?” Luna asked, unsure of how to react to our indecent conversation.

“Fuck, you’re right. I’ll just have to fire them. Hey Jay, you got any of them shape-shifty-whatsits you could spare? I bet the stallions would pay a premium for one of them,” Lucky asked, ever the entrepreneur.

“I have effectively unlimited enforcers, but don’t you think they would take away from your ‘action?’” I countered, sure that Lucky wasn’t planning on following through with her musings.

“Not if I could get some from them too, they are shape-shifty-enforcer-whatsits after all,” Lucky answered, outmaneuvering me for the first time in our relationship. This was far from the first of my conversations with the extremely open mare.

“Getting Lucky, I can’t tell if you’re joking anymore,” I declared, using the mare’s full name for emphasis.

“Can I please have one? You don’t know how hard it’s been since Silver passed, none of these young bucks will even look at me,” she pleaded. I was shocked, I hadn’t realized that all of her talk over the years had been more than posturing.

“So you and Silver?”

“Jay, I have eight fillies. They don’t appear out of thin air.”

“Damn, no wonder he couldn’t run two hundred laps around the hotel,” I commented, wondering how the stallion had walked at all.

“Jay, I don’t believe any stallion could run two hundred laps,” Luna added, her face showed just as much disbelief as I felt.

“IF one volunteers, and that’s a big ‘if’, you have to make sure it eats regularly. Fish will work just fine and unless you plan on tying it up somewhere, it’ll take care of itself. No outfits in public and be respectful, they do have feelings. Also, they aren’t the worst for conversation once they get used to you. And the biggest thing to remember is that we’re asexual, so don’t expect it to finish,” I said after thinking for a moment. I wondered when I had lost my mind, probably sometime right after Luna’s return. ‘Maybe I should go look for it.’

“Really? Oh, thank you so much!” Lucky shouted as she jumped over to my chair and wrapped me in a hug. Luna just stared at me with a blank expression. Lucky held on to me for another minute or so before releasing me and saying, “Whatever you guys want, it’s on the house. For life. But I need to get back and make sure Pepper hasn’t set the place on fire.”

“Are you sure that was wise?” Luna asked as the crazy mare sprinted back to her hotel.

“Anything for my friends, remember?” I answered absently, internally wondering the same question.

“It’s beginning to get late, shall we get settled in for the night?” Luna suggested.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I’ve got a hundred bits that say Lucky went straight to her room, you in?” I wagered, knowing that Peppermint was an excellent cook.

“Alright, you’re on. I don’t know what that mare was thinking, leaving fillies alone to take care of an entire hotel by themselves,” Luna criticized. All of Lucky’s children were old enough to be living on their own, but I didn’t tell Luna that. As we entered the building we were greeted by a very attractive, even to my eyes, light pink mare that was in her early twenties.

“Uncle Jay!” she cried as she bounded over the counter to be swept up in a hug.

“Hey Lily, how have you been?” I asked, holding the young mare. The fact that she wasn’t a model should have been a crime. Luna was speechless.

“I’ve been great, I got engaged a couple months ago!” Lily said excitedly.

“Really? And where’s the lucky stallion now?” I asked, fully intending to scare the life out of the bastard.

“That’s him right there, with the blond mane. He’s waiting for me to get off work so we can go collect seashells.”

I turned and…. “Blueblood?”

“Jekyll! W-what are you doing here? And why are you holding my fiancee?” he stuttered. I set Lily down and approached the ‘prince.’

“Let’s talk, outside,” I said dangerously, leading him through the door, “You’d better have a damn good explanation for why you’re engaged to my niece. Talk.”

“It’s not what you think, she doesn’t know about my title. She likes me for me and I can be myself with her, rather than the unpleasant facade I wear around the castle. I love her, Jekyll, I really do and I believe she loves me,” Blueblood confessed.

“I’d find it easier to believe you if you weren’t such a prick,” I said sharply.

“I know, but you don’t know what it’s like. I was born with a fortune that I never cared about, and that’s the only part of me that anypony sees. None of them care about me, they only care about my money. Once I figured out that a bitter attitude would drive them away, I just kept wearing it. That’s why I’ve been coming out here, it’s remote enough that no one knows who I am. Please believe me Jekyll, I really love Lily,” he admitted. I sighed loudly.

“Okay, you have my blessing. But if you break her heart, I will not let you die. I will force you to endure every horror imaginable, and then I will think up some more. Do we have an understanding?” I threatened. Her father had passed away, someone had to do it.

“Y-yes w-we do,” he stammered, terrified.

“Good, let’s head back inside, son-in-law,” I ordered, causing Blueblood to squeak and follow me obediently. 

“What’s going on?” Luna whispered once I had returned to her side.

“Your nephew is marrying my niece,” I explained quietly.

“I have a nephew? I’ll have to ask Tia about that later. And you were right, Lucky went right to her room when she entered the hotel. How did you know?”

“Peppermint is her oldest daughter, and one hell of a cook. She’s probably doing exactly what Lily said she was doing,” I guessed, Luna’s blush proving me correct.

“I’ll get you your bits when we return to Canterlot,” Luna said, admitting defeat.

“I’ve got your room key, the princess said you only needed one bed. Nice,” Lily announced with the subtlety of a wrecking ball.

“Rose Lily, you know I don’t sleep,” I commented loudly in an attempt to save Luna’s dignity.

“That sounds like fun!” the sadistic young mare exclaimed as we left the lobby.

“They seem so innocent until they open their mouths,” Luna said dryly.

“It used to be so much worse, Silver could speak entirely in innuendo,” I mentioned, seeing Lily’s head dip slightly when I said her father’s name, “Sorry, I knew you were close.”

“It’s alright, I should have gotten over it by now,” Lily replied, criticizing herself. 

I didn’t like the way she was burying her grief, rather than actually admitting that she missed her father. Without warning, I scooped her up and jumped out the nearest open window. As my wings formed and spread, I began a slow loop around the hotel. Lily quickly calmed and adjusted herself to be more comfortable, as I had taken the earth pony flying since she was six. She turned to look at me when the sound of a piano began to play, but was kept from speaking when I began to sing. By the time my song ended she was sobbing into my shoulder as I held her, I was content to stay there for as long as she needed. 

“Uncle Jay, do you think you could play that song you and dad used to try and sing sometimes?” she requested.

“Of course, I can play the original version too if you want,” I replied.

“I think dad would like to hear what it was supposed to sound like, I’ll guide you to him.”

She led me to a small grove of trees north of the hotel, where I set down and followed Lilly to a simple headstone. The name had already worn off. I really wished I could cry in that moment. But since I couldn’t I resolved to fix this injustice. I grabbed the pitiful memorial and threw it as hard as I could out to sea and built a better one out of bone in its place, this one featuring a bust of Silver smiling at whoever had come to visit him. My work done, I stepped back and spread my wings. I took one look at Lily and the new headstone before starting to sing Silver’s favorite song. 

“Thank you,” Lily said quietly.

“Please don’t, not saving your father was one of my worst failures. He died because I didn’t think to watch over my friends as well as I should have,” I asserted.

“None of us blame you, these things happen,” Lily reassured.

“Your mother said almost the same thing, but that’s how I keep going. I dwell on my failures and make sure they can never happen again,” I confessed. Lily nodded sadly, her tears flowing once more.

“I understand, but if you carry the world like this you’ll never be happy. Don’t be so concerned about the safety of others that you forget to live your life. You saved us from certain death once, that’s more than anypony would have expected,” Lily said sagely.

“I’m not a pony,” I countered.

“But dad was, and he wasn’t asking when you were going to swoop in and save him. He was asking where you were so he could say goodbye,” Lily said kindly.

Lily's words bit deeper than any blade and I learned something new that day, I learned how to cry. I felt tear ducts force themselves into existence as I dropped to my knees and sobbed at Lily’s words, actual tears running down my face. I clung to Silver’s headstone and apologized to my friend over and over until Lily put her hoof on my shoulder and told me that it was okay. 

I followed her back to the hotel where we found a pissed looking Luna surrounded by enforcers, all watching the other patrons of the hotel suspiciously.

“And where-are you okay, Jekyll? I’ve never seen you cry before,” Luna asked, concern written on her features.

“Yeah, no, but I will be,” I said simply, I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luna asked, oblivious of my thoughts.

“Not right now, let’s just get to our room,” I remarked, walking past Luna into the hallway we had been in before.

“Jekyll! Your enforcers won’t let me move,” I heard Luna call. I released a growl in response and heard the enforcers depart the hotel, returning to whatever positions they had been hiding in before.

“You’re in room one thirty-two, Uncle Jay,” Lily said quietly from my right. I picked her up and held her against my chest as I walked to the room, her hooves wrapped around my neck. It was easy to forget that she was a grown mare.

“Jay, I’m starting to worry,” Luna commented as she caught up and began walking to my left. Without a word, I split my left arm into several tendrils, picked Luna up, and carried her as well. I had to widen my chest to make room for the two mares to sit comfortably.

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” I declared, finally arriving at Luna and I’s room. I retrieved the key from Lily with a tendril and unlocked the door before walking in and sitting on the room’s sole bed. It didn’t bow at all, and the proportions of everything were wrong for an Equestrian hotel room. This looked more like a hotel room on Earth, everything was scaled to my height, they had built this room for me. I just sat there and cried myself out on the two mares.

Once I had composed myself I noticed the state of Lily and Luna’s coats, they were soaked in my tears. I quickly ran tendrils over them and returned their coats to their prior, pristine, states and released them. Luna was significantly more disturbed by this than Lily, Lily being a veteran of my unorthodox methods of accomplishing simple tasks.

“I need to get back to the desk. Feel better Uncle Jay, you deserve it,” Lily said as she departed.

“Luna, I think I’m going to try to sleep tonight,” I mentioned, shuffling to the head of the bed and shifting my cells through the blanket rather than getting up. To an outside observer it would have looked like I had lifted the blanket with telekinesis while simultaneously phasing through it, Luna climbed into bed normally.

“Then I’ll probably see you on the other side,” she said as she cradled against me, “Now that I’m not hindered by my own nightmares, I can help others sleep soundly as well.”

“Sleep lightly, I don’t know if I’ll shift in my sleep. If I do, you should get out of the bed as fast as you can,” I warned.

“You think you’ll change into something spikey? Like that form you used when you attacked the assassins?” Luna asked.

“If you’re lucky, Demon Hedgehog is pretty tame compared to some of the other forms I’ve come up with,” I said seriously. Luna started laughing, “What?”

“Demon. Hedgehog. That is not what you call that form,” Luna declared.

“It looks like a demon hedgehog, what else would I call it?” I asked.

“Literally anything else, maybe something fearsome. How about ‘The Annihilator?’” Luna proposed.

“Taken. By a much cooler form, by the way,” I replied.

“I’ll think about it later, my faithful hedgehog. Let’s get some sleep,” Luna jibed before falling asleep instantly. Not for very long, however, as Lily kicked the door open shortly after.

“Jay! Did you promise to give my mother an enforcer coltfriend?” she demanded, startling Luna awake.

“No, I promised to ask them if one would like to keep her company,” I replied, hoping she would accept my explanation.

“I’m not a foal, Jay, I know what that means,” Lily remarked angrily.

“What do you want me to say? That I agreed to whore out one of my elite killing machines to your mom because she’s lonely,” I said, throwing my arms up in exasperation. Lily adopted a sheepish look.

“Well, it sounds kinda ridiculous when you say it like that,” she said quietly.

“Isn’t that exactly what you did?” Luna asked. ‘Not. Helping.

“Gaah, I’m not calling it dad!” Lily shouted as she stormed out of the room.

“I don’t expect you to!” I called after her.

“Jekyll, I think this family is having a detrimental effect on my sanity,” Luna commented.

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll grow to love them, everybody does,” I replied easily.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
> Chapter 8: Fun in the Sun
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn’t manage to fall asleep, I just laid there until the sun rose and Luna awoke. She sighed upon seeing the annoyed look on my face, evidently my inability to sleep was obvious. “Sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you,” Luna replied, rising from the bed and walking to the bathroom.

“Not going to stall today?” I asked the retreating form as she closed the bathroom door.

“I already learned that lesson, I don’t believe it will be necessary to teach it again,” Luna called from the bathroom, causing me to let out a short laugh. Luna returned a few minutes later to find me waiting by the door, an evil smirk on my face. “How many laps?”

“We’ll start with a couple hundred, or until noon, whichever comes first,” I responded.

“I don’t get a choice in this, do I?” ‘Nope.’

“I could always stimulate your muscles manually and make you run, you’d probably fall a lot though,” I threatened, wondering about the viability of using Luna as a puppet like that.

“You couldn’t if you wanted to,” Luna challenged.

“I already have. You remember when I paralyzed Nightmare Moon, same thing,” I countered, Luna froze. Technically this was true, but restricting movement was much simpler than causing it. I was more likely to tear her muscles if I tried

“I’ll be good,” Luna said in mock fear, already jogging in place. ‘At least I think it’s an act.’

“Alright, let’s get started,” I said, opening the door and heading for the lobby. Lily greeted us as we passed her desk, asking if Luna was about to discover my definition of cardio. I answered her in the affirmative as I pushed the door open and allowed Luna to pass me onto the beach.

Six hours later we stopped for lunch. We had completed three hundred and fifty-eight laps, but Luna had lost count at some point and I didn’t see any harm in a few extra laps. Lucky was waiting for us with a tray balanced on her back, I could smell salad dressing and blood well before we were close enough for her to remove the cover. 

“Alright guys and gals, I’ve got a salad for Jay and a half dozen raw salmon for the princess,” Lucky joked as she handed the tray to me.

“You’re funny,” I replied dryly, consuming the fish in seconds. I caught a glimpse of movement through the trees and called to it, “Yo Mike, tell Tzu to ask if any of the others want to be Lucky’s companion.”

“Thank you Miss Lucky,” Luna wheezed, attempting to savor the salad.

“Yes, sir,” the figure replied, disappearing a moment later.

“You got five minutes till we start on unarmed combat, eat faster,” I commanded, channeling my inner drill instructor. A hundred and eighty seconds later I consumed the remains of her salad and marched her into the ocean until the water was to her knees.

“Is combat in shallow water common?” Luna asked, confused.  

“No, but it is several times more difficult. If you can fight like this, you’ll be more than capable during an actual fight,” I replied as I bound her wings to her sides.

“I see, will I be expected to move tomorrow?”

“Yep,” I replied happily as I lunged for her, my fist arcing towards her face. She barely dodged in time and attempted a sloppy counter, which was punished with a light jab to her exposed ribs. We continued like that until sunset, Luna and I continuously attacking and counterattacking. I’d occasionally advise her on why her attacks weren’t connecting or how to correct her footing.

“A couple hours my flank,” Luna whined as we walked back to the hotel for dinner.

“I lied, but it’ll be easier tomorrow. Today was a test of your capabilities so I’d know where to focus your training.”

“Really?” Luna asked hopefully.

“Hell no, it’s all downhill from here,” I answered darkly, I had a very intense curriculum planned.

We entered the hotel and Luna claimed the nearest open seat, startling the other ponies seated at the table. 

“Don’t mind us, it used to be pretty common for strangers to sit at the same table. Great way to make new friends, although I think Lu only saw the empty chair,” I said to the ponies, who seemed to accept my explanation though seemed uneasy about my casual way of addressing their diarch, who had progressed to slumping over the table. “Luna, you’re in public. Sit up straight.”

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lily said cheerfully as she sauntered over to our table, “What can I get ya?”

“Food,” the barely conscious Luna mumbled from her position on the table.

“Have you ordered?” I asked the other ponies at the table, they nodded dumbly, “Okay then, I’ll get something to go in a bit, if you get my meaning.”

“Saucy.”

“I meant a shark.”

“Scandalous.”

“Have I ever told you how much you remind me of your mother?” I asked, fully aware of the repercussions of my question.

“How dare you?” Lily screeched, attracting the attention of everyone in the restaurant section of the hotel before dropping her voice and adopting a cocky tone, “I’m way worse than she is.”

And then she vanished, leaving the rest of the customers to look at me for some kind of reasoning towards the crazy mare’s actions. 

“I should have expected that, she must have grown out of her rebellious stage years ago,” I commented, more to myself than anyone else.

“Is this happening? Are we sharing a table with THE Jekyll, and one of the princesses?” One of the ponies, a mare, asked her stallion companion.

“Nope, I’m the other shapeshifting horror with a grudge against hot-flanks,” I said sarcastically.

“It is you! Oh, could we get a picture with you please? Our colt would love one,” the mare asked fervently.

“I have fans?” I asked. I’d shut down a couple cults that had popped up in my name but I’d never seen any normal, sane, ponies that admired me.

“Well, in truth, it’s just Night Specter. We’re just trying to be supportive. I’m Straight Arrow, by the way, this is my wife, Ebony Song,” the stallion explained, they were both earth ponies.

“Edgy teenager type?”

“Got it in one.”

“It’s my colors, they attract wannabe outcasts,” I commented.

“You calling me a ‘wannabe outcast’?” Luna asked, rising from her position on the table, “My apologies, it seems I fell asleep for a moment.”

“No worries, and you’re not a ‘wannabe’ anything,” I answered, “Sure Arrow, I’ll take a picture with Specter, where is he?”

“He ought to be back any minute now, stepped into the restroom just before you two came in,” Ebony replied, her enthusiasm made me wonder if I was watching the birth of another cult.

“OHMYGOSH mom, there are two of Jekyll’s monsters heading towards the hotel, like, right now!” an excited voice said as a colt ran over to the table before freezing at the sight of me.

“Hi Specter, I’m Jekyll. Your folks said something about you wanting to get a picture with me?”

‘Thump.’ Specter did his best impression of a statue as he hit the floorboards before going limp, unconscious.

“Oi, Uncle Jay, did that little wanker pass the fuck out?” a voice shouted from the kitchen.

“Yeah Pepper, he did. And you’re not doing him any favors by announcing it to the world.”

“Fuck the world, a gal’s gotta have her fun.”

“Why did we come here, again?” I heard Arrow ask his wife.

“It was ranked in the top ten best hotels in Equestria, and it’s on a beach,” Ebony answered quietly.

“It grows on you,” I commented to the pair, “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Ebony, get your camera ready and don’t tell Specter about these pictures until after you get them developed, Luna, help me pose him.”

With Luna’s help, we got Specter into a series of positions depicting a fight between the two of us, eventually ending with Specter standing over my broken form. I figured it would make for a great gift, Luna and Ebony seemed to agree.

“Say Jekyll, how did you know our preferred names?” Arrow asked as the two enforcers Specter had mentioned entered the hotel and headed straight for my position.

“Basic pony psychology, you lot will always defer to the cooler name or, failing that, the shorter one,” I explained before turning to the enforcers, “Report.”

“Sir, Tzu has sent me to assist in Mistress Luna’s training,” the first, an India responded.

“And I have come in response to your request for a companion for Miss Lucky,” the other added, I recognized this enforcer as the ‘female’ Mike that had attempted to spook Tzu.

“Alright India, you have until noon tomorrow to learn everything about battlefield tactics. Mike, I understand you identify as female, are you aware of what it may mean to be Lucky’s companion?” The India didn’t move.

“I do,” the Mike replied.

“Okay then, go find her and have her give you a name. India, why are you still here?”

“Tzu has already granted me the required information, sir.”

“How convenient, make yourself scarce for now. Meet up with Luna and I in the lobby at dawn,” I ordered, returning my attention to my dining companions.

“That was an interesting personality shift,” Arrow commented.

“They don’t care, my enforcers value efficiency more than anything else,” I replied.

“That’s what they’re called? Enforcers?” Ebony asked, “Specter’s been trying to figure out what they are for some time.”

“They’re Jay’s children,” Luna oversimplified as Lily walked up and deposited a tray of food and left without a word.

“I remember telling you that I don’t like that comparison, it’s more complicated than that,” I responded.

“But still true,” Luna countered.

“Specter had this idea that they were ponies that you gave your power to, he was hoping to join them,”  Arrow said, causing me to choke back a laugh.

“He’d have to die first, they’re made from raw biomatter. The first ones were made from a pack of diamond dogs that pissed me off, since then I’ve been using hydras, manticores, and chimeras.”

“So it’s impossible for a pony to become like you?” a recently awoken Specter asked.

“Welcome back to the land of the living. No, it isn’t impossible, but I won’t do it. There are too many risks involved, just trying to ‘evolve’ a pony outside of a controlled environment would most likely result in the end of the world,” I explained.

“Wow, you’re that powerful?” the acting president of my fan club asked.

“It isn’t a matter of power, young Night Specter,” Luna said, taking the question for me, “Jay’s blood contains a deadly disease, I assume he would need to release this pathogen to ‘evolve’ another.”

“Correct, and I won’t allow that to happen,” I added.

“That’s so cool. Is that why Princess Celestia hasn’t killed you?” Specter asked, catching me off guard.

“Night Specter! What kind of question is that?” Ebony chastised.

“It’s fine, Ebony. Way to show your true colors Specter, thinking Chelly could last more than a second against me in open combat. Luna, please don’t tell anyone else about the virus, at least until we find Dopple, it’s a risk we can’t afford right now.”

“My apologies, please keep what you have heard here to yourselves,” Luna reconciled, though it sounded more like an order to me.

“We understand princess, nopony will hear about it from us,” Arrow said, “Though that raises further questions, such as, who is this Dopple?”

“Gryphon, black with red accents, he’s wanted for treason against the crown and crimes against myself as well. He may be traveling under the alias ‘Best Defense,’” I said loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear, “It’s imperative that he is found as soon as possible.”

“Is that why you’re here? Are you tracking him?” Ebony asked nervously.

“Nah, we’re on vacation,” I answered with a wave of my hand, “Can you believe this is Luna’s first?”

“Why here?” Specter asked, “Surely with the princess’s influence you could have taken your vacation anywhere in the world.”

“Hey Pepper, why are we here instead of some wine bar in Prance?” I called towards the kitchen.

“Cause if ya did, I’d shove my spatula so far up yer ass ya’d taste last week’s omelets ya twat,” came Pepper’s gruff reply.

“There you have it, I’m not allowed to go anywhere else.”

“I’m so confused,” Specter commented. I ignored his implied question as I had noticed Lucky trotting over with an upset looking enforcer following behind her.

“Get your new friend settled in?” I asked.

“Thank you so much, Jay. I’d like to introduce you to-” Lucky began.

“Prince Cuddlebutt,” the unfortunate enforcer interrupted. It took all of my willpower to not burst out laughing.

“Lucky, you remember what I said about the enforcers having feelings? Look at ‘Prince Cuddlebutt’s’ face.” 

“May I remain Mike-thirteen-one?” the enforcer asked, her question directed at me.

“You were a squad leader? Interesting. How’s Cheryl sound?” I suggested.

“I feel like there’s a story behind that name, but I like it,” Cheryl replied, ignoring Lucky’s protests.

“It’s a bit of a jab at how many times you’ve changed your name, glad you like it. Shut up, Lucky, you had your chance.” Lucky smiled weakly and found an empty seat.

“Sir, may I speak to you privately?” Tzu asked from behind me.

“Jesus fuck Tzu, where the hell did you come from?” I said as I jumped away from the new arrival, barbed tendrils forming defensively.

“The window, I may have an explanation for your memory issues,” Tzu continued, ignoring the large number of sharp objects pointed at his face.

“Continue,” I said slowly.

“If you wish. I took the liberty of creating a new enforcer division, which I have named Sierra. They’re our research and development team, and they have uncovered a single species capable of causing the symptoms you described,” Tzu began, glancing at the assembled ponies.

“Changelings,” I guessed, Tzu nodded, “Impossible, they died out centuries ago.”

“What do you mean they died out? Did the world run out of love?” Luna interjected.

“I’ll tell you some other time. Good work Tzu. If nothing else, we have a lead to work with now. Send a squad to check the old hives and set up another division to work alongside the Sierras, call it Bravo division. Here’re the details,” I said, spearing Tzu with a tendril and depositing the locations of all known changeling hive ruins and my rough designs for Bravo division.

“Bravo for builders, sir?” Tzu asked after taking a moment to digest the information.

“I’m not a poet, I’m a bio-weapon. Yeah, have the Bravos make prototypes for anything the Sierras dream up, I’ll assess whatever passes their tests and assign them personally.”

“Understood, sir,” Tzu replied as he turned towards the open window.

“Tzu, use the door like a normal person,” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Yes, sir.”

“Jay, I don’t enjoy being brushed off like this,” Luna said, the family just stared at us in shock.

“I know, but this isn’t the time or place for that conversation. I’ll tell you once we get back to Canterlot,” I replied just before a gold coin appeared in the air a couple feet from my nose and fell to the table, “That was weird. Pretty lame prank, Luna.”

“I am not responsible for this,” Luna replied, looking equally confused. More, seemingly random, objects began to appear and fall to the table, which began to groan under the weight.

“Everyone, get back,” I called, afraid to move for fear of causing damage to anything, or anyone, other than the already straining table. Hundreds of voices began speaking in my mind all at once, I’d need to examine this memory once everything calmed down to figure out what each one was saying. Once the frequency of the items appearing slowed down I jumped through the, still open, window in the fear that a live grenade might pop up and explode in my face, at least then I’d be the only one hurt.

“Sir, are you alright? Who is responsible for this?” a Gamma asked as the local squad took positions around me.

“I don’t know. Find me a bag and a Mike, some of this stuff isn’t Equestrian and I don’t want any of it going missing.”

“Understood, sir,” the same Gamma said as he ran into the hotel, another went sprinting for the treeline. The items, or tokens as I had caught from the overlapping voices, stopped appearing after a few minutes. The Gammas returned shortly after with a Mike in tow. 

“Pack all of this shit up and toss it in one of Abaddon’s store rooms,” I ordered the Mike who set to his assigned task immediately. 

“What is all of this?” Luna asked, announcing that she had followed me out of the hotel, albeit taking a more normal route.

“According to the voices in my head, they’re called tokens. They have something to do with summoning, or something like that,” I replied.

“Jay, this isn’t funny,” Luna commented flatly.

“I’m not joking, I could hear people talking while these things were appearing. I’d know more, but they were all talking at once and I couldn’t make out much. You know as much as I do right now.”

“I see, what will you do with all of this stuff?” 

“Store it, for now anyway. I’ll give it all to Sierra division along with my memory of tonight, see if they can figure it out.” I was broken from my train of thought by the sound of Luna laughing. “What?”

“Perhaps I should find a new instructor, my current one is so lazy that he’ll delegate thinking to another,” Luna accused, still laughing.

“Would you prefer that I train you while distracted?” I challenged.

“I believe that ship has sailed,” Luna countered smugly.

“Fuck, you’ve got a point. Gamma,” I said, defeated.

“Sir?” the Gamma squad’s leader asked, appearing at my side within a second of being called.

“Your squad will assist me in training Luna how to fight. My attention has been compromised,” I ordered before walking back into the hotel.

I found the Mike loading the last of the tokens into a burlap bag, likely provided by Lucky, and staring at the full bag disdainfully.

“The sooner you get that loaded on Abaddon, the sooner you never have to look at it again,” I said encouragingly. Tha Mike jumped and ran out of the hotel with the bag.

“Mom, dad, I think I’m ready to go home now,” Specter said absently.

“I’m inclined to agree,” Arrow added, “No offense mister Jekyll.”

“None taken, it takes a certain kind of pony to be able to handle the insanity that follows me around. Still want that picture Specter?”

“Uh, okay.” I got down on one knee and added some bioluminescence to my eyes for the photo. I knew I’d never see the final product, but I thought it would turn out pretty well.

I found a couch in the lobby and relaxed for a moment before I realized that Luna hadn’t reentered the hotel. I pondered this for a time until Luna staggered through the door, her form covered in bruises and bleeding from dozens of cuts.

“What happened to you?” I shouted as I lept to my feet and steadied her.

“Gammas,” she managed before passing out. I bandaged her wounds with globs of biomatter that would accelerate healing and set her on the couch before storming outside.

“Gamma lead,” I said dangerously, my voice no louder than normal.

“Sir?” the same enforcer as before answered ignorantly. Tendrils pierced the idiotic enforcer and reduced its biomass to less than that of a Mike, a very painful experience.

“You’re going to fly back to Tzu and get me a competent squad. Then you’re going to be reassigned to Romeo division and one of them is going to take your place in this squad. Your crime is the assault of a protected individual, be happy that I haven’t consumed you completely,” I commanded the disgraced enforcer.

“I apologize sir, it would seem that I have misinterpreted your orders,” former Gamma lead said as he attempted to take flight. He was stopped by a tendril wrapping around his neck.

“Oh, no. You don’t get to put this on me. You know what, that sounded like sedition. You wouldn’t happen to know where Dopple is, would you?” I asked rhetorically, as I was already consuming the enforcer. I discovered that he had, in fact, been approached by Dopple, and so had the rest of his squad. ‘Oh, I wasn’t serious, but okay.’

My back exploded into dozens of barbed tendrils, spearing another rogue enforcer and consuming him. ‘An obvious tactic, pathetic.’ My claws formed and another set of arms peeled out of my back to hang next to my normal set, these armed with six foot long serrated blades. The next enforcer to attack found himself cleanly bisected and consumed. ‘That’s half of them.’ Two of the remaining enforcers rushed me at the same time and met their ends predictably.

“Pitiful,” I spat, “If this is the best you’ve got, Dopple can have you.”

“Surrender or I’ll kill her!” a voice shouted from behind me. I turned to find the last rogue enforcer with a claw to Peppermint’s neck. ‘I’ve been waiting to try this out.’

“Dumbass,” I commented as tendrils burst from the ground and dismembered the former enforcer in a whirlwind of slashing blades, “You good, Pepper?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. The fuck was that?” Pepper responded, headstrong as ever.

“Good question, I’m going to need to borrow your mom’s new marefriend to find out. These idiots didn’t know anything,” I replied before a blade erupted from my chest and attempted to syphon my biomass back to its owner. ‘Really?’

“I did it! I killed him,” the rogue India cheered prematurely.’Really?’

“Did you now?” I asked as the flow of biomass reversed and the India ceased to exist. ‘They’re supposed to be the smart ones, Dopple is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.’ Now that the traitorous enforcers had been taken care of, I’d need to get a new set of guards over here to sure up our security. I didn’t waste any time as I sprinted to Lucky’s room and opened the door, “Hey Lucky, I need to borrow Cheryl.”

“Damn Jay, didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock?” Lucky admonished.

“My guards just tried to kill Luna and Pepper, so I’m sorry if I don’t give two shits about your privacy right now. Would you please get off my only remaining soldier so I can get some reinforcements,” I snapped.

“Pepper? Is she okay? I need to go check on her!” Lucky shouted as she jumped to her hooves and tried to run past me.

“She’s fine, you know I wouldn’t let anything happen to any of you. Get yourself cleaned up before you go see her though, you reek,” I said, blocking her path.

“Is it that bad?” she whispered.

“Yes,” Cheryl answered, already opening the window. Whether to air out the room or to allow her to get to Tzu faster I didn’t know. ‘Probably both.’

“Cheryl, get me Tzu. I want him here ten minutes ago,” I ordered, but Cheryl was already out the window. I went back to the lobby to check on Luna, it had been less than a minute since I had left her side. She awoke as I placed a hand on her side.

“Jekyll! They tried to kill me!” Luna cried as soon as she saw me.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe now. Cheryl’s on her way to Tzu getting us some new guards,” I was cut off from saying any more by a scream from further into the hotel, “Don’t move, you’ll tear your wounds open.”

I ran towards where the scream had originated from, finding a panicked Lily running towards me. “Thank goodness I found you, Willow’s hurt!”

“All I want for Christmas is a quiet day,” I commented to no one as I shouldered through the door into Willow’s bedroom, finding the, barely alive, remains of Lucky’s youngest daughter. She’d been thoroughly eviscerated, bits of her were all over the room. I set to work immediately, sending tendrils into her bones and copying the marrow to feed fresh blood into her system. I blocked the pain receptors in her brain and began stitching her back together, both of my arms having dissolved into tendrils at the elbow to work as efficiently as possible.

“Can’t breathe,” Willow gasped, as I located her missing lung and began restoring it to semi-working order.

“You don’t need to right now, but you’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.” I ended up needing to make her a new pair of kidneys, as they were to badly damaged to repair.

“Get off of her, monster!” a voice shouted from the doorway.

“Lily if you could keep these idiots away while I save your sister’s life, I’d be quite grateful.”

“That won’t be necessary. Sir, you will return to your room immediately,” Tzu announced, his voice carrying an implied threat. ‘Holy shit, that’s fifty miles, round trip. Cheryl deserves a raise, or to get paid in the first place.’

“Thank goodness, get over here and help me with this,” I commanded the enforcer. With both of us working on Willow, we had her back in one piece in just a few more minutes. One of the Gammas that had accompanied Tzu got to work cleaning the blood off of the walls, and floor, and ceiling, and all of Willow’s possessions. Willow would be a patchwork of scars once she healed fully, but she’d be alive and that was what I cared about.

“Willow!” Lucky screamed as she sprinted into the room and wrapped her hooves around her, currently very fragile, daughter. She looked me in the eyes and sobbed, “Why?”

“Basic enforcer doctrine is to go after food and medicine first, without those the enemy will fall apart on their own. Not like this though, we don’t attack civilians. They targeted Willow because she’s the hotel’s resident nurse,” I answered sadly, feeling responsible for Willow’s condition.

“Never thought anyone would want me dead for helping ponies,” Willow groaned. 

“Don’t try to talk, your lungs are in pretty bad shape. Well, your entire body is in pretty bad shape. You’re going to have to be on life support for the next month or so, and you’re going to have some scarring afterwards,” I advised the young mare. I grabbed the nearest Gamma, “You’re on medical duty.”

“That’s the one,” Willow rasped, attempting to shy away from the enforcer.

“No, I killed that one, this Gamma has been in Canterlot all day. Tzu, get a Mike in here, I’ll have one of them handle this,” I said soothingly.

“I can do it,” I heard Cheryl say from the doorway. I nodded and she moved to Willow’s side and connected her tendrils to her patient’s damaged system. Cheryl’s body swelled as she formed surrogate organs for Willow to use while her own healed. Tzu and I disconnected our own tendrils and stepped away, our part in this operation concluded.

“Sir, have you ever worked on a pony this injured before?” Tzu asked curiously.

“Nope, not even close. Nice timing, by the way,” I replied.

“Thank you sir,” Tzu said proudly, “What happened?”

“Dopple got to the Gamma squad, they tried to kill Luna and Pepper too.” The other Gammas bristled at this, their claws forming and lengthening.

“This could pose a serious problem, where are they now?” Tzu growled. I patted where my stomach was supposed to be in response, “Anything useful?”

“Other than that Dopple was in Canterlot? No, they didn’t know anything. But I did learn how they turned traitor, the command gene has been chemically suppressed. They are being forcibly turned against us, and no enforcer is safe,” I told the enforcers, Tzu had to sit down to process this new information.

“How do we get them back?” one of the other Gammas asked, clearly disturbed by the news.

“We’ll have to take out the source. Once the drug works its way out of their systems, they’ll return to the fold. Unfortunately, Dopple is our only lead right now,” I informed the others.

“Sir, is there a risk that you could be affected by this drug?” Tzu asked warily.

“I don’t have the command gene, but I dissolved the rest anyway. You don’t need to worry about me Tzu, but get Sierra division working on a countermeasure anyway. Here’s the formula,” I said, extending a tendril. Tzu accepted it hesitantly before viewing the offered information and relaxing.

“Your cells show no sign of tampering, I’ll take this to Sierra division immediately.”

“Wait, get me three more Gamma squads and a squad of Bravos. I’m putting a leviathan under this bitch,” I ordered. Tzu nodded and took flight out the window.

“Sir, are we in danger of turning against you?” one of the Gammas asked fearfully.

“Not if you stick together and slaughter anything that tries to stick you, Dopple got the others when they were alone,” I answered.

“Jay, I need you to get this bastard. He’s gone after two of my fillies, I can’t forgive that,” Lucky said seriously as she held Willow.

“You didn’t have to ask, they’re my family too,” I answered, just as serious.

“Forget about me? Oh, nevermind. What happened?” Luna asked as she hobbled into the room.

“I was about to send these six to retrieve you,” I said, gesturing to the Gamma squad as I sat against the wall, “This is what happens when a normal pony has to fight an enforcer, nice work by the way.”

“What?”

“You held your own against that rogue enforcer, I think it’s safe to say that you’ve graduated unarmed combat training,” I congratulated, sending a tendril over and removing the biomass from her horn.

“Small victories, I suppose,” Lucky commented idly.

“And one major victory, whoever’s behind all of this isn’t trying to destroy the world,” I added.

“What makes you so sure?” Lucky asked, “They just attacked my world.”

“Dopple couldn’t have invented this drug, someone else gave it to him. If I was the one orchestrating this little rebellion, I’d keep Dopple on a short leash. He’s probably getting daily doses of the suppression drug to keep him loyal, he’s then bound to do whatever they say lest they cut off his supply and force him to face my claws. And since this mysterious puppeteer isn’t made of Blacklight, they can’t have him go viral,” I explained.

“Do you have any suspects for us to interrogate, sir?” one of the Gammas asked, the others nodding their support.

“My immediate thought would be Chelly, she’s got that same way of doing things behind everyone’s back. But Equestria isn’t technologically advanced enough to synthesize this drug. I suspect the minotaurs have something to do with this, perhaps on the supply side. Nothing concrete yet though,” I hypothesized. 

“Should we not be finding those responsible for this? Perhaps they can tell us more about this ‘puppeteer,’” Luna asked, concerned.

“The rogue enforcers? I killed them already, that’s how I’ve figured out this much.”

“Truly? They showed exceptional skill when they fought me,” Luna pressed.

“No, they showed exceptional skill compared to you. They’ve been training for a lot longer than you have. I’m well beyond even their capabilities, it was sad from my point of view,” I explained.

“Ya shoulda seen what he did to tha bastard that threatened me. Poor sod never saw it coming,” Pepper added from the hallway as she walked up, her unusual accent thicker than normal.

“Pepper, someday I’m going to figure out where you picked up that accent,” I told the Scottish sounding mare.

“Good luck, even I don’t know,” Lucky commented. We all shared a much needed laugh, more out of necessity than actual humor.

“Jay, I feel the need to lie down. Shall we retire to our room?”

“C’mere Luna, I’m not moving, so you may as well get comfortable,” I ordered the tired alicorn.

“On the floor? That hardly seems proper, perhaps you could have a bed constructed?” Luna suggested, looking at the Gamma squad.

“Just get over here.” Once Luna got herself settled into her normal position under my right arm I snaked a few hundred tendrils under and over her until she was completely cocooned, with only her head sticking out. I added some extra biomass to the cocoon and hardened the outermost layer to act as armor, the inside blistering to be more comfortable. The section of my chest where Luna had rested her head had also blistered, to act as a makeshift pillow.

“I didn’t know it was possible to be comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time,” Luna remarked.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, are you two an item?” Lucky asked hopefully.

“You know I don’t work like that,” I answered dryly.

“Then you’ve adopted her,” Lily guessed.

“I suppose I have. In an innocent little sister, protective big brother kind of way,” I replied.

“Sisterzoned,” Willow croaked.

“Good enough for me. Welcome to the family, princess,” Lucky declared, but Luna was already asleep.

“I almost get offed and get an aunt in the same night? This is too confusing, Imma make some omelets,” Pepper commented as she walked out of the room, presumably to her kitchen.

“Well it’s about time for us to hit the sack as well. You sure about sleeping on the floor like that, Jay?” Lucky asked.

“I’ll be fine, I’m going to try to sleep again tonight,” I said as Lucky and Cheryl helped Willow get situated in her bed.

“Them?” Willow asked weakly, looking at the Gammas that were still in her room.

“Gamma lead, I want two in the hallway, two by the window, and two by the front door. When the others arrive, have them disperse on that model,” I ordered, the Gammas rushed out of the room and into their assigned positions, “How’s that?”

“Better,” Willow muttered as she fell asleep, a nod from Cheryl telling me that this was not a coincidence. Lucky climbed into bed next to the injured Willow and followed her example shortly after, leaving Cheryl and I the only conscious individuals in the room. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander, finding sleep a few minutes later.

Everything was on fire, Canterlot lay in ruins at the base of the mountain it had been perched on for so many years. Ponies, griffons and minotaurs ran for what little shelter remained, all the while chased by groups of enforcers until Abaddon’s tusks and feet came crashing down on all of them. I was there, standing atop Abaddon, scowling at the different groups as they attempted to flee. Then there was another Abaddon, this one with a twisted mockery of a gryphon laughing on its back. One of Dopple’s wings was missing, the other was pushed to the center of his back by a clawed arm growing out of his side. His beak split vertically as he bellowed his shrieking laughter. The left side of his head was swollen and contained a myriad of eyes, all looking in different directions.

“Jay?” Luna asked from my side. I awoke with a start, my movement causing Luna to wake up as well.

“That was you, wasn’t it?” I asked, remembering what Luna had told me about her ability to influence dreams.

“I saw everything, my nightmares seem tame by comparison.” She shuddered. “But I am left with questions. Do you fear that Dopple will become an evil version of yourself, or that you will turn into a more evil version of Dopple?”

“Both. I’m afraid of what Dopple will do if I can’t stop him, and of what I’ll have to do to take him down,” I answered honestly.

“You’re not a monster, Jay. You don’t need to be afraid of yourself.”

“I lay the blame on Chelly, but she isn’t the one who killed off the last Equestrian army. I’m the only being on the planet that holds that title. Looking back on my life, it’s clear that I’m always one bad day away from becoming a monster.”

“I don’t believe you,” Cheryl said quietly from her position next to a sleeping Willow, Lucky must have left at some point while I was asleep.

“Really? Take a look at yourself. You’re a Mike, the physically weakest class of enforcer. Name one non-Blacklight creature on this world that could harm you,” I countered.

“I cannot. But as you pointed out, I’m a Mike, a messenger. You created us to watch over your friends and warn you before they could come to harm, these are not the motivations of a monster. Lord Jekyll, I must confess something to you, I have been corrupted with the suppression drug.” Willow shot awake and tried to get away from the rogue enforcer, reaching the end of her life support tendrils and being forced to stop.

“What?” I hissed dangerously, claws and blades forming on new limbs as Luna’s cocoon grew to cover her head.

“Please do not be alarmed, I remain loyal to you. But now it is by my own choice. As you pointed out, the drug only affects our compulsion to follow your orders, it does not affect our minds in any other way. By my understanding, most enforcers that have been dosed with the drug have not shown any sign that it is present in their systems at all, although they, like myself, have hidden this information out of shame,” Cheryl continued.

“How long?” I asked.

“I was attacked by another Mike shortly before you returned from building the leviathan Abaddon, that was when I decided to use female pronouns,” she answered, I removed the covering from Luna’s head and retracted my weapons.

“Anything else you’re not telling me?” I asked tersely, still not comfortable with having a rogue enforcer connected to a member of my adopted family.

“Your analysis of the drug was not completely accurate, many enforcers will not return to your service once the drug has left their system. A sufficient dose can destroy the command gene completely, I was injected with more than enough to result in this,” she responded, Willow was still straining against the life support tendrils.

“Relax, Willow. She’s not going to hurt you, she’s your cousin after all,” I said with a glare at Cheryl, “Right?”

“Absolutely. Thank you for being so understanding about this, sir,” Cheryl replied happily.

“You are being very open minded, Jay,” Luna pointed out.

“Less than you think. Gamma, keep an eye on Cheryl at all times, but do not engage without clear evidence of sedition. Cheryl, I’m choosing to trust you, don’t make me regret it. I believe you know what I’ll do if you follow the example of that Gamma squad,” I warned.

“Can I call you dad?” ‘The fuck?’

“I-wha-if you want to, I guess,” I stammered, having been caught completely off guard by the enforcer’s question.

“Thanks dad.”

“Thank you for revealing all of this, especially since you did it in an attempt to distract me from my self loathing,” I countered.

“It seems I failed, then,” Cheryl said sheepishly.

“No, you accomplished your mission. I have a lot more important things to focus on now,” I replied. Lucky prevented Cheryl from saying anything else by striding purposefully into the room and kissing the rogue enforcer onto the bed.

“Thank you,” Lucky gasped after a full minute of making out with Cheryl, during which Luna began to get a bit twitchy in her cocoon.

“Hey Cheryl, do you know how Dopple managed to drug every enforcer that was sent here in the second wave?” I asked.

“As I understand it, we were all corrupted at different times. I have to assume your famous luck is responsible,” Cheryl replied

“Is it weird that I find that soothing?” I asked the room, I didn’t receive an answer.

“Jay, is it necessary for this pod-thing to be like this?” Luna asked quietly after a moment.

“Sorry, I designed that cocoon to carry someone through a particularly rough area. I hadn’t thought about how uncomfortable it must be to sleep in,” I apologized, thinking that she meant that it was uncomfortable.

“It isn’t uncomfortable, per se. It’s just that between those two and the fact that your tendrils are everywhere...” Luna whispered, letting her sentence trail off. My eyes widened, the last occupant of that type of cocoon had required a catheter. I had formed it from memory without thinking about the specifics.

“Shit, sorry, the last person I carried in a cocoon like this was an invalid,” I whispered back, withdrawing the offending tendril as gently as possible, “Why didn’t you say anything last night?”

“I did, and I’ve gotten used to that one. Could you free my legs though?” Luna requested. I peeled the cocoon away from her legs, which began to shiver in the comparatively cold room, “I meant inside the pod.”

“Okay?” I said as I shifted the design of the cocoon to be more cylindrical and less like a rough outline of its occupant.

“And a little more room to move, please?” I reduced the swelling in the blister-cushions accordingly. “Much better, thank you.”

“I still don’t get what you were saying before,” I commented.

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much. How long must I stay in this pod?” Luna asked, pushing the conversation away from my line of questions. Lucky had returned her attention to Cheryl’s mouth with renewed force, Willow’s face said that this was just another Tuesday to her.

“Just tell me when you want out and I’ll pop it open. Lucky, if you want to be that enthusiastic with Cheryl, there should be some Bravos standing around somewhere that can handle Willow’s life support,” I suggested to the pair. Lucky sprang up from her position on the rogue enforcer and ran out the door. ‘Predictable as always.’

“I assume mom told you about her stallion troubles,” Willow guessed, much stronger than the night before.

“She said she was lonely,” I replied.

“She’s going to need more than she let on. Her problem isn’t getting a stallion into her bed, it’s that she just cries on them until they leave,” Willow revealed, I had suspected something like that.

“My enforcers, even the rogue ones, aren’t stupid, Cheryl’s capable of a lot more than providing life support and carrying messages. Lucky’s in good hands, don’t worry,” I said reassuringly.

“I wouldn’t be a good daughter if I didn’t worry,” Willow pointed out.

“That’s my job,” Lucky said as she walked back into the room with a new enforcer in tow, granting me my first glimpse of the enforcers of Bravo division. They had smaller torsos and heads than the others but their arms were considerably larger, making it look like a gorilla on steroids. The eight legs broke the illusion a bit though. ‘That’s odd, they don’t follow the image I gave Tzu at all.’

“Interesting look, I assume the legs are for stability while working on larger projects?” I asked the new arrival.

“Yes, sir. And the arms provide a more readily available position for tendrils and biomass to be stored,” the Bravo answered.

“With space for additional biomass to be stored at the base of your legs, thereby lowering your center of gravity for even more stability,” I assumed.

“Correct, sir. Sierra division is responsible for our nonstandard appearance.”

“Function over form, I like it,” I said, considering the conversation concluded.

“Jay, can you move without dissolving this pod?” Luna asked curiously.

“I could fly like this, Lu. If the cocoon was closed you wouldn’t even know,” I answered.

“Excellent, let’s go swimming again,” Luna said enthusiastically.

“You want to go swimming, while injured and bleeding? That’s a terrible idea.”

“Not if I’m in this pod. If it’s half as durable as yourself, then I have nothing to fear from the creatures of the deep,” Luna pointed out.

“So what you really want is to go diving again. I suppose with the added mass from those idiots last night, I could overpower the buoyancy of the cocoon. Alright, watch your head,” I replied before shifting my form into that of a large centipede, with Luna’s cocoon at the center. 

We got plenty of stares as we exited the hotel, at which point I shifted my form again. This time with Luna standing vertically and my legs positioned at the foot of the cocoon, I grew my normal head out of the material next to Luna’s. I used the same method of providing her oxygen as last time once we were in the water. Using the set of crablike legs I had opted for, we reached the coral reef within a few minutes.

Luna prodded at the interior of the cocoon to tell me which direction to go for a while before attempting to talk to me through the regulator, resulting in a muffled humming sound. In response, I expanded the open space by her mouth and added an ear to the inside of the chamber.

“Thank you, could we go even deeper. I think I see a cliff up ahead.” I wrapped another tendril around her ears, pulling the water out and adding a small mouth in each one.

“It’s called a drop off. Yeah, you don’t need to worry about the pressure inside the cocoon. If we get too deep, I’ll have to close the pod around your head though.”

“Will I still be able to see?” she asked.

“I can make the cocoon semi-transparent, you’ll only be able to see the general shape of things unless I’m right up on them,” I answered, “That also sacrifices durability and defense, so I wouldn’t suggest getting that deep.”

“Let’s see how far we can go without crossing that point, I don’t see much point in exploring if you can’t see anything,” Luna requested. I proceeded up to the edge of the drop off and twisted until we were facing straight down before continuing on my path.

“Comfy?” I asked my passenger.

“It could be better, would it be possible to fill this chamber with water? I believe that would take the weight off my knees.”

“I’ll have to filter it first, there are some nasty critters in the ocean,” I replied, already filling the cocoon with clean water. I felt Luna float to the ‘top’ shortly after.

“Much better,” Luna said gratefully.

“Not used to being on your knees?” I teased.

“I know you’re mocking me, but I don’t understand what being on my knees has to do with anything,” she asked confused.

“Think about the proportions of my typical body, where would you be if you were kneeling in front of me?” I countered.

Well, that would put my face, oh. I get it now,” Luna said, her face heating up under the tendril. We reached the bottom of the drop off with a hundred meters or so until I would have to close Luna’s cocoon. We had landed next to the decayed wreckage of a sunken trade ship, only now visible in the low light.

“You have the best luck, did you know that?”

“How fascinating, though I hope the crew made it to shore,” Luna said in awe.

“I doubt it, the current is flowing away from the open ocean. This vessel went down miles out to sea,” I replied. We entered the ship through a hole in the side of the hull, I noticed metal shavings embedded in the wood. Gryphon warships had metal rams on their bows, but I didn’t know of any naval conflicts between Equestria and the gryphons.

“Oh, dear. It seems you were right, there’s a skeleton against that wall,” Luna announced sadly.

“You see those cracks in its skull? This vessel was attacked, by gryphons from the look of it. Those are beak marks,” I concluded.

“Pirates?”

“No, there are metal shavings in the breach. Gryphon warships are the only ones who use such brutal tactics for naval warfare.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, the caribou and zebras don’t use navies. If the minotaurs or other ponies were responsible, there would be scorch marks from either flame spells or explosives. Gryphons prefer to attach their ships to the enemy and engage them in melee combat, where they hold the advantage,” I clarified.

“Do we have anything to defend ourselves against them at sea?” Luna asked, understanding the gravity of this discovery.

“Not yet. But this was a civilian vessel, they wouldn’t have any weapons anyway. This is the kind of shit that pisses me off, you don’t target civilians. I’m going to go Norwegian on these assholes,” I declared angrily, “Let’s get back to shore, I need to talk to the Bravos.”

“What does that mean? What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to release the fuckmothering Kraken,” I declared, already leaving the wreckage. 

As we passed the coral reef on our way back, I felt Luna start twitching again. I turned my full attention to her cocoon, fearing that I had gone too fast and given her the bends. A low hum left her mouth before I could say anything however, causing me to take a closer look at her movements.

“Are you fucking serious?” I demanded.

“I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about,” Luna stammered defensively.

“Getting off on skeletons? Looking to get boned, are you?”

“NO, I just, look Jay, I don’t think my interest in you is much of a secret. Between watching Lucky and Cheryl earlier and seeing you take charge a moment ago, I kind of got swept up in it for a moment. I didn’t think you’d notice,” Luna explained, embarrassed. I sighed and took a moment while I watched the bubbles float to the surface.

“I don’t believe you. You knew that I can feel when you move and some part of you wanted me to catch you. As for your feelings towards me, my biology doesn’t allow me to share them. If you ask me to be with you, I will, but there won’t be anything behind it,” I responded, Luna hung her head in sorrow.

“Could you remove this thing from my face for a moment, please?” Luna requested. 

I released the tendril from her face while watching her for any attempt to drown herself. My concerns turned out to be unfounded as her head immediately spun towards me and she pressed her lips against mine. When she deepened the kiss and didn’t show any sign of stopping I began using my mouth as a regulator to feed her oxygen. When she decided she was finished exploring my mouth I placed the regulator tendril back over her’s.

“Thank you. I won’t force you to be my coltfriend, but may we remain friends?” Luna asked hopefully.

“That was never in danger,” I answered easily, Luna released a relieved sigh. 

“Out of curiosity, if you were capable of romantic thoughts, would you be interested in me?” Luna inquired.

“Nah, I’d probably be balls deep in Lily. That bitch is hot,” I teased.

“If I were not restrained so, I’d smack you for that.” I felt a hoof slap the inside if the cocoon weakly. ”There, take that.” Another weak slap. “And that.” I just laughed.

“Joking, I’ve known Lily since she was shorter than my knee. I couldn’t do that, Lucky though,” I continued.

“Lucky would just cry on you,” Luna countered.

“Fair point, maybe Chelly?” I postulated.

“As uncomfortable as it is for me to think of my sister like that, my only comment would be about strange bedfellows.”

“One of the enforcers?”

“Incest, they’re basically your children.”

“Twilight? Or one of the others?”

“You run into the same problem Tia and I have with normal ponies, they are so young, compared to us, that it feels like pedophilia.”

“Well that narrows the field considerably. So I need an immortal then. What about Caddy?”

“Who?”

“Cadance, or Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the princess of love.”

“I know of Cadence, but I haven’t met her yet. By my understanding she is still a filly.”

“She’s engaged to Twilight’s brother,” I pointed out.

“Then it is a moot point, she’s taken.”

“True, but that only leaves one other immortal. I suppose you’re the only eligible bachelorette that doesn’t want me dead.”

“Such a terrible situation you find yourself in. Only one mare in the whole world that you could call your own, but your own body betrays you into not being able to make it happen,” Luna commented, I felt her ears try to droop sadly when they hit the edge of the tendril.

“I don’t know how to feel about that. I’ll talk to Sierra division, see if they can figure something out. It’s part of their job to figure out how to remove my limitations.” I paused, both in speech and in my movement. “Luna can I be completely honest with you?”

“Of course, Jay. What’s on your mind?” Luna asked, her eyes full of concern at the shift in my tone.

“Part of it is being down here, part of it is our conversation, but I’m lonely. I have been for so very long, that’s the real reason I made sure you were purged of being Nightmare Moon, that’s the real reason I approached you that night. Sure, I have friends and adopt whole families, but it’s always so fleeting. They’re dead and buried in what feels like a blink at this point. I thought about killing myself until I realized that it would release all of the Redlight in my system, I can’t even join my friends in death without taking the rest of the world with me. Sorry, this is supposed to be a vacation, not a time for me to whine about my problems,” I confessed.

“That is the kind of loneliness that caused me to become the Nightmare. That’s your real fear isn’t it, following the same path that led me into darkness. That nightmare wasn’t about the future, it’s what the past could have been,” Luna inferred.

“I don’t know about the dream, but yeah.” I said, “Listen, I need you to promise me that if I ever go crazy, you’ll find a way to stop me from hurting anyone.”

“I promise, though I doubt it will come to that. As Celestia is the day and I am the night, you are the shadow. You are the being of darkness that craves the light. So long as you never lose that, you will never succumb to your loneliness. Having me around won’t hurt either,” Luna said elegantly.

“Thank you, but I believe the saying is that poetry is the fastest way to a mare’s heart,” I joked. Luna started twitching again, “Okay, what the literal fuck?”

“You deal with your frustrations with humor, this is how I’m dealing with mine. Considering you’re the cause of them, you don’t get to judge me,” Luna declared. ‘Someday these ponies are going to have to stop distracting me from my problems.’

“Whatever, if you’re comfortable diddling yourself on a crowded beach, that’s your prerogative.”

“Oh hush, who’s going to know?”

“Everyone if you start moaning.” Luna paused.

“Is that common? I’ve never actually done this before.”

“Really? You’re masturbating for the first time in your life just to mess with me?”

“Actually it’s because this is the first time I’ve had any semblance of privacy, messing with you is just a bonus.” I turned around and started walking back towards the reef.

“Fuck it, I’m not surfacing until you’re capable of not embarrassing yourself.”

“You’re a good friend Jay.” Luna’s covered muzzle pressed against the side of my head. “Right, could I kiss you again please?”

“Go fuck yourself.” This time I formed a copy of my usual mouth on the inside of Luna’s regulator and initiated the kiss myself. Luna calmed down a few minutes later and attempted to pull away from the tendril that was attached to her face, I took this as a sign to return the regulator to its prior state.

“Feel better?” I asked.

“No, I feel sore and more frustrated than I was before,” Luna bemoaned.

“Wow, that’s depressing. I’m taking you to Lucky, she’ll set you straight.”

“What! No. Jay, don’t you dare tell anyone about this,” Luna protested. I ignored her protests all the way to Lucky’s bedroom, where I entered without knocking. Again.

“Hey Cheryl, I need to borrow Lucky for a moment.” Luna was a deep shade of scarlet at the scene inside the room.

“Jay I swear on Luna’s plot, learn to fucking knock on the damn door,” Lucky scolded.

“If you got out from under Cheryl you’d notice that Luna is here too,” I pointed out, separating myself from Luna’s cocoon and assuming my normal form. Lucky shot out from under her rogue enforcer and attempted to look natural.

“Jay, Princess, what can I do for the two of you on this fine day?” Lucky asked with false cheer.

“I need you to teach Luna a few things, like how to masturbate, why it’s impolite to do so while inside of someone else,” the temperature of the water inside the pod rose a few degrees, “and not to pee on people.”

“Jay, I love you like a brother and you know I’d normally ask why you would ask me for this, but in this case I think not knowing is way funnier,” Lucky replied, an innocent smile on her face.

“Great, I’ll pick her up in an hour,” I said as I set the cocoon down against the wall and detached myself from it before leaving, making sure to close the door behind me.

“Jay, you can’t just leave me here!” I heard Luna shout as I walked away. 

I found a Gamma and asked where the Bravos were waiting. I was directed to my room, the last place I would have thought to look. 

“Bravo squad, with me,” I said conversationally as I walked past my room.

“Sir?” one of the Bravos said as they fell into step behind me.

“You’re going to have a busy day, I want at least two leviathans by morning. One of the normal variety under the hotel, and the others are going to be a custom job,” I explained.

“Your specifications, sir?”

“Sea creature, designation is going to be Kraken. I want them able to be confused for a squid, but large enough to crush any warship. They’ll be taking the place of our navy, so treat them like any other class of enforcer. Squads of six,” I continued.

“Understood sir, shall we contact Tzu for the required biomatter?” another Bravo asked.

“Yes, consider that standard procedure now. Have the Krakens you make shadow Equestrian trade ships, make sure they don’t run into any problems. They are permitted to carry wounded ships to the shore. I’m also placing a kill order on any gryphon warships near the coast, I’ve seen evidence that they’re targeting civilians,” I ordered, the Bravos seethed at this. Even our loose codes of combat forbade the killing of civilians, much less the targeting of them. And we had a nasty habit of forcing these values on others.

“They will find no mercy in these waters,” the first Bravo declared before the whole group turned towards the nearest exit. ‘That was badass, I’ll need to give that one a name. Maybe Quint?’ I continued my wandering path around the hotel for the next hour before making my way back to Lucky’s room.

“Are you educated now?” I asked Luna, once again I hadn’t knocked before opening the door. Luna’s eyes were glued to Lucky, who had ignored my entrance and continued her lecture.

“And that is why you don’t pee on people unless they’re into it. Nice timing, Jay,” Lucky concluded.

“Thanks, how did it go?” I asked again.

“She was very thorough,” Luna said dumbly.

“I didn’t bring you here on accident, Lucky’s taught this class at least nine times now,” I pointed out, Lucky just nodded sagely.

“Twelve actually, counting this one,” Lucky corrected. 

“Who were the other three? Nevermind, I don’t want to know,” I asked, instantly regretting it.

“Well two of them were fillies I caught fooling around in the laundry room, not at the same time of course. The third was a friend of yours, Jay. Let’s just say that a certain princess learned her trade during Pepper’s fillyfooler stage,” Lucky explained, heedless of my protests.

“Caddy and Pepper? Bet that was an odd sight,” I commented, making a note to ask Cadence about it the next time I saw her.

“Not really, she still sneaks mares into the kitchen sometimes, I accidentally wander in on them a couple times a week,” Lucky replied.

“It isn’t a phase if it’s still going after ten years,” I pointed out.

“How’s she supposed to give me grandfoals without a stallion?” Lucky countered.

“Just let her be happy you menace. Lily’s getting married, go badger her about grandfoals,” I ordered.

“I’m not one of your whatsits Jay, I’ll do whatever I damn well please.”

“Cheryl, do me a favor and put something in Lucky’s mouth so she’ll stop being a bitch,” I said, grabbing Luna’s cocoon and walking out.

“I couldn’t look away,” Luna whimpered. I noticed the cocoon she was trapped in was cracked near her neck, “Everything she said ended with ‘unless they’re into it.’ What does that even mean?”

“You’ll be fine, but how did you crack the pod? This thing could take a mountain falling on it in stride,” I asked.

“It broke the cocoon trying to get a toy in here with me,” Luna answered.

“Cheryl?”

“Lucky.”

“Shit, that’s impressive. Never underestimate a determined earth pony,” I commented idly.

“I’m not convinced that was an earth pony, she succeeded,” Luna countered, her eyes wide.

“No kidding? I’ll need to reinforce the neck area then,” I said in awe.

“May I keep this shell? I don’t think I’ll feel safe without it. At least until we return to Canterlot, where it’s safe,” Luna requested meekly.

“It’s yours, I’ll make it into a bioform so you can get in and out whenever you want,” I offered, granting the cocoon enough sentience to accept Luna’s commands as I spoke.

“Thank you, but that leaves the issue of this thing floating around in the pod. Perhaps we should head outside so you can drain the pod and get this thing out of here,” Luna suggested, returning to her old self now that there was some distance between her and Lucky.

“I’ll just drain the water out the window. Our room will be the second most defended place on the planet by morning, so that’s where we’re going. I’ve got half a mind to have Abaddon march his titanic ass over here tomorrow, then it would be the safest place to be,” I declared.

“What would that change?” Luna asked.

“Leviathans are immune to the suppression drug by virtue of their size, I trust them more than anyone else right now. There should be a leviathan under this hotel soon, if it isn’t there already. And the only thing more dangerous than one leviathan is two leviathans, we’ll have seven by the end of the week. Eight if I park Abaddon in our backyard,” I answered.

“If your leviathans are your most trusted units, then it wouldn’t make sense to keep Abaddon away. If Dopple lays siege to the hotel, we would need his strength to break them. Too many lives are on the line to not take every precaution,” Luna noted.

“Good point,” I said, turning my head towards the nearest window as I walked, “Gamma, go back to Canterlot and have Abaddon and Tzu relocate to the beach behind the hotel.”

A shadow darting away informed me that I had guessed correctly. Luna looked at me suspiciously, “Do you just order the air around and assume that things will happen?”

“Basically. I make educated guesses based on the psychology of the different types of enforcers and give my orders to where I think they are, I’m right more often than not,” I explained.

“You’re making that up,” Luna accused.

“Care to make a wager? If Abaddon is here by morning, you have to keep that toy Lucky gave you. If he’s not I’ll be your coltfriend, with everything that entails. Dates and all. You in?” I offered, suppressing a confident smile.

“You’d do that? Alright, I’ll take your bet,” Luna said. Her hoof bumped into the side of her cocoon, evidently she had tried to shake on the wager.

“I hope you like your new friend,” I commented.

“Do you know something that I don’t?”

“I saw a Gamma fly off.”

“Fuck.”

“Rather unprincessly language there, Lu.”

“Am I wearing a crown? I’m not a princess right now, I’m a pony on vacation and I can talk however I want. I’m also turning into a raisin in here, so could you please just get the water out of this thing,” Luna demanded. I opened the door to our room and set Luna on the bed before sending a tendril out the window and pumping the water out of the cocoon.

“Better?” I asked.

“Not yet, I still need to air out and dry off,” Luna said, I cracked the cocoon open and a shriveled mockery of Luna climbed out, “Not a word.” ‘Someone just earned a new nickname. World, meet Pruna.’

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Not. A. Word,” she repeated. I chose to remain silent as I disconnected myself from the cocoon and rested it against the wall to dry. Luna walked around the bed and laid down on the other side, allowing to see the large black dildo in her telekinetic grasp. I stumbled out of the room and collapsed in the hallway, my form dissolving into a mass of tendrils as I laughed.

Once I had composed myself, ten minutes later, I walked back into the room to find Luna and her gift in the same position as when I had left.

“This cannot be accurate,” she stated, I almost lost it again.

“Please put that thing away, I’ve already laughed myself into a pile once,” I managed.

“Oh?” Luna asked, placing the toy in a drawer.

“I lost control of my shape and reverted to my ‘true’ form, a mass of writhing tendrils and bad ideas,” I explained. Luna fidgeted at the word ‘writhing.’

“Do you have anything you need to do? Lucky’s demonstrations have left me a bit bothered,” Luna asked, causing me to become concerned for the mental health of Lucky’s children. I tossed the cocoon on the bed next to Luna and laid down on the other side.

“Nope, I took care of everything already. The pod is pretty soundproof if you’re looking for some privacy,” I said, “I’m going to try to sleep again, see if I can get some inspiration from that nightmare. Silver linings and all that.”

I closed my eyes and attempted to get some sleep, I heard the cocoon close shortly after. I didn’t manage to fall asleep, however I pretended that I was to preserve Luna’s illusion of privacy. I heard snoring after a few more minutes and got up to check on the Gamma squads. I didn’t need to, but the room smelled horrendous to my powerful nose.

Abaddon and Tzu arrived during the night, as predicted. I told Tzu about the wreckage Luna and I had found and warned the enforcers about the risk of being attacked and drugged by their fellows. I also told them that they should be proud of their comrades that had remained loyal despite having their command genes suppressed or destroyed.

Over the next few days Tzu taught Luna everything he could about large and small scale tactics while she healed from her brush with the rogue Gamma. Once she was able to, Tzu and I oversaw her combat training with magic and her weapons of choice. She eventually settled on using Nightbane and a pair of swords the Bravos made for her, within a month she was capable enough to keep three Gammas from landing a single blow. I declared her training a success at that milestone and congratulated her on learning so quickly, she responded by saying that it was a simple matter of adapting her dueling training to fit the number of opponents.

We spent another week at the beach, though we had moved onto Abaddon for safety reasons, to celebrate the conclusion of Luna’s training and just to have a period of inactivity. We were surrounded by leviathans and loyal enforcers and we both knew it would probably be our last moment of peace for a long time. However, a fateful encounter in Canterlot was setting the stage for some interesting times once we returned to our lives.
> Chapter 9: Making New Friends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jay, I’ve been wondering about something. What was that bet you made with Tia? Luna asked from the top of Abaddon’s head, I was sitting a few feet away with my feet dangling off the edge.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that. I’ll have to make it up to her for being late,” I commented.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Luna pointed out.

“I owe you sister dinner,” I answered simply.

“You woe is me. I believed that you heart belonged to me when it hath been claimed by mine sister. Oh, how could you betray me so?” Luna cried dramatically.

“You’re hilarious.”

“I think I’m adorable,” Luna said, pouting.

“You lost the ability to call yourself ‘adorable’ last night,” I commented.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she challenged.

“The pod doesn’t cover your head,” I pointed out, Luna went rigid and Abaddon had to catch her before she slid sideways off his head, “Fortunately for you, I’m the only one here who would make fun of you for it.”

“Twelve. Hours,” Abaddon announced with his main head, he didn’t bother to catch me as I toppled off.

“I stand corrected,” I admitted once I had returned to my previous position, finding a secondary head forming next to a recovering Luna.

“My apologies ma’am, Tzu tells me it is impolite to mention the needs of breeders. Particularly at that volume,” Abaddon apologized.

“Breeders, really?” I asked, never having heard this term before and finding it distasteful.

“Tzu tells me it is a term the enforcers use to distinguish themselves from the other species. They breed and we do not,” Abaddon continued, evidently not noticing my clawed toes digging into his neck.

“Tell Tzu that I don’t like it. As far as I can tell, it’s no better than them calling us monsters.”

“He asks if it will be forbidden or treated like spook shaming. Now I’m sad, I will never be able to play this game,” Abaddon replied, his main head drooping. Luna and I would be in danger of falling if we weren’t attached, me by my claws and her by Abaddon sinking her hooves into his flesh.

“I don’t want to hear it again, he can interpret that however he wants. As for your ability to spook, I’ll have to share my orbital bombardment idea with Tzu,” I commented.

“Orbital?” Luna asked, freed from her stupor by the mention of space.

“Just a term in this case. You see, I was trying to think of how to field Abaddon. Yeah I could just march him straight at the enemy, but that’s boring, there’s no creativity to it. So I decided it would be a ton of fun to have a bunch of Romeos drop him on them,” I explained, I was stopped from explaining further by a number of enforcers landing on Abaddon’s main section. 

“Sir, you wanted to speak with us?” one of them said. I turned to look at the new arrivals, finding one of each division standing in formation. Including one type I didn’t recognize but assumed to be a Sierra.

“Whoever told you that has turned traitor, kill them immediately. Sierra, you stay,” I ordered casually, the others taking flight immediately. 

“How can I help you, sir?” the Sierra asked.

“Based on who you came here with, I assume you are Sierra-one-one?” The enforcer nodded proudly. “Excellent, I’ve been working my way through this on my own but I want your division working on it as well.”

The Sierra accepted my offered tendril and paused as he considered the new information, “Intriguing, may we have access to the tokens as well?”

“Yes, but I want them under guard at all times. Put Gamma-seven on it, they could use the exercise.”

“Permission to relocate Sierra division to Abaddon?” Sierra-one-one asked.

“That’s right, you’re still new to being a division captain. You don’t need my permission to move your division around. So long as you get your job done, I don’t care where they’re based out of,” I clarified for the new captain.

“Understood, sir,” Sierra-one-one said, taking flight.

“Who were those enforcers, were they important?” Luna asked.

“They’re in charge of the different divisions, as little as that means,” I explained.

“Will they have any issues with the rogue enforcers?” I took a couple moments to think about how to answer Luna’s question, eventually deciding to tell her the truth.

“No, they won’t. I created a cure for the Redlight virus a long time ago. It’s useless as a protective measure against the disease however, it acts too quickly. But if you were to give it to an enforcer, they would wither and die in seconds,” I answered nervously, this was our biggest weakness and we didn’t like to talk about it. 

“And what effect would it have on you?” Luna pressed, her eyes wide as she realized the trust I was placing in her.

“The same, at the genetic level-” I began.

“We are almost in range of Canterlot, sir,” Abaddon interrupted, forming a secondary head next to me. ‘Thank you.’

“Excellent, it’s about time we got back to work,” I said, walking over to stand next to Luna.

“What work? Is there anything left to do but wait for something to happen?” Luna asked, eyeing me suspiciously. 

“Aren’t you supposed to hold court? And control the moon?” I countered.

“It isn’t work if nopony shows up.”

“You had to phrase it like that, didn’t you? You intentionally excluded me because you know I’m going to be there,” I accused.

“Yes, my friend, I know you won’t leave me to face the night alone, but I still feel useless. What’s the point of having a night court if it isn’t used?”

“Give it time, they’ll come around. Until then I’ll bring some Gammas and we can work on that dodge roll thing you seem so fond of,” I suggested.

A fine idea, should I bring the pod as well? May as well go all out if you intend to recreate our vacation in my courtroom,” Luna replied sarcastically.

“Don’t you get snippy with me, young lady. I’m only trying to help,” I chided.

“I know, and I thank you for it. Speaking of the pod, thank you again for that, I’ve felt so refreshed and clean every morning since you gave it to me,” Luna replied, puzzling me.

“It shouldn’t do anything like that. Abaddon, bring me the cocoon, I need to inspect it,” I ordered, the foot end of the cocoon rose out of Abaddon’s head a moment later. I sent a tendril into it and was surprised by what I found, “Okay, it makes sense now.”

“What is it?” Luna asked, concerned.

“I miscalculated how much intelligence to give it, as such it’s interpreted my command to do what you say as an order to take care of you. It has been monitoring your vitals and cleaning you in your sleep, then using the grime to grow itself,” I explained.

“Define cleaning me. As a shower would or how you extracted the poison that paralyzed me?” Luna pressed.

“Both, you’ve been getting regular detoxifications every night and had every grain of sand picked out of your coat,” I clarified.

“Send it my thanks, I haven’t felt this good in years.”

“If I had it cover your head you wouldn’t need to shower or brush your mane,” I pointed out.

“That would be quite convenient, please do so.”

“Alright, I’ll add some bio-lights and make it all around larger while I’m at it, you could read in here if you wanted to,” I added, making the desired adjustments to the cocoon.

“What about storage?”

“Storage?”

“Yes, storage space inside the pod. Could you add that as well?”

“Abaddon, confiscate Luna’s toy. I suspect she’s becoming addicted to it,” I ordered the leviathan’s head on Luna’s other side.

“You don’t need to do that! I was talking about books, I swear,” Luna cried in an attempt to retract her request.

“Right. Be good and I’ll give it back. I’ve added some more biomass and increased its intelligence to the level of an enforcer. This thing won’t just keep you safe anymore, if you’re attacked in your sleep the cocoon will fight them off and return to Abaddon by itself,” I added.

“Won’t that make it vulnerable to the suppression drug?” Luna asked, looking at the exposed part of the cocoon fearfully.

“It always was, but I doubt that will be an issue. It’s surprisingly devoted to you,” I said, with a sideways glance at the sentient shell.

“How is that surprising, you seem rather devoted to me as well,” Luna pointed out.

“You’re my best friend, this cocoon however is going beyond the call of duty.”

“Explain,” Luna ordered, her gaze alternating between the cocoon and myself.

“Abaddon, tell Luna why you’re protecting her,” I ordered.

“Lord Jekyll has designated you as a protected individual, any threat to your life will have to get through every leviathan and enforcer first,” Abaddon answered dramatically.

“Gamma squad, why are you protecting Luna,” I called to a nearby group of the aforementioned enforcers.

“She is a protected individual, we will kill and die in her defense,” they answered in unison.

“Pod, I’ve given you the ability to speak. Tell Luna why you protect her,” I commanded the cocoon.

“I lament our inability to love, for that would be the word that I would use. Your protection and comfort will be my only concern in this world for as long as it shall last because you are the reason I exist. Lord Jekyll was not completely correct in his assessment either. I was just a lowly cocoon when he gave me to you, but you gave me the biomass to increase my intelligence. I owe you everything for your sacrifice,” the cocoon professed. I removed the pod’s ability to speak before it could continue, Canterlot was coming into sight.

“Jay, was the pod feeding on me?” Luna asked, horrified. I leaned back to ensure she wasn’t missing any pieces.

“Doesn’t look like it. Though if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it was consuming discarded material: hair, fur, skin cells, things like that,” I speculated.

“Oh, I see. Nothing to worry about then. But if it is as intelligent as you say, shouldn’t it get a name?”

“You can name it if you want, hell, you can name them all if you want to and can tell them apart,” I declared.

“I think I would like to name this one. What would you suggest?” Luna asked.

“Cocoon and friends?”

“No.”

“Raaaa!” I toned while pointing at Luna.

“That isn’t a name.”

“Fine, how about Podrick,” I suggested, thinking about all the puns I could make.

“It will do,” Luna said slowly, nodding shortly afterwards, “Podrick it is.”

“Great. You can put it back now, Abaddon.” Podrick sunk back into Abaddon’s flesh. “We’re almost there, care to fly the rest of the way?”

“I suppose we should, if we’re going to catch Tia before she closes the day court,” Luna said with an evil smirk to match my own. We reached Canterlot a minute later and the balcony closest to the courtroom a minute after that. I could see Luna struggling not to run ahead of me.

“Go ahead, but don’t say anything about the bet,” I whispered, Luna happily trotted off to greet her sister. I kept my pace casual as I walked into the courtroom, striding past the assembled ponies as Celestia raised an eyebrow at my unexpected arrival.

“Excuse me Sir Fancy Pants, but I should deal with this. Guards, seize him!” Celestia shouted, none of the guards moved. This had become our standard greeting over the years.

“Fuck you too, Chelly,” I said irritably. The other half of the greeting.

“What do you want now?” Celestia demanded.

“Three hundred years ago I accused you of not moving the sun. We made a bet that if I was right, you were to surrender Equestria to me and live out the rest of your days in Tartarus. But if you were right, I would owe you dinner. I still do not understand why that was your request,” I announced to the court, reforming my torso and arms to add a black tuxedo with a blood red undershirt. I didn’t bother with the slacks.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Celestia asked, incredulous.

“You set the terms of the wager, I’m just here to make good on my word.”

“No, get out.”

“Not good enough, Chelly. Either I buy you dinner or I serenade you all night long with the songs of my people,” I said in the sweetest tone I could manage.

“Trust me Tia, you don’t want that option. I tried to sleep in one day and he started singing about tigers and the thrill of fighting,” Luna warned.

“He didn’t let you sleep in on your own vacation?” Celestia asked, glaring at me.

“It was a working vacation,” we chorused.

“Fine. It is about time that I adjourned for the day anyway, I trust you have something lined up,” she said expectantly.

“How do you feel about stir fry?”

“That new fad I’ve heard the guards talking about? It sounds...messy,” Celestia commented distastefully.

“It’s noodles on a plate, it’s only messy if you suck at eating noodles,” I deadpanned.

“Mind if I tag along, Jay? I’m suddenly curious about this ’stir fry,’” Luna asked, already walking towards the doors.

“The more the merrier, one of you lot drop your disguise and fetch Tzu. He knows the place,” I said to no one, casually waving an arm towards a section of guards. One of them, to the horror of the others, shifted into a Gamma and flew out a nearby window.

Celestia tisked in disappointment, “The purpose of assassins is to not be exposed before they can kill me.”

“Sister, that was one of the guard variety. Jay added them into your guards at my request,” Luna rebuked before I could say anything. Celestia followed Luna and I as we walked to the main entrance to the castle.

“What?” Celestia hissed, “You surrounded me with monsters and didn’t have the decency to tell me before you went gallivanting off with your pet.”

“How do you know about Podrick?” Luna asked in confusion.

“She means me. Also, Podrick isn’t a pet, it’s a bed,” I pointed out.

“And you’ve taken a lover as well, what would mother think?” Celestia accused.

“Podrick is a semi-sentient cocoon, it acts as a bed, personal fortress and shower. It could hardly be called a lover,” I explained before Luna could incriminate herself further.

“Shower?” Celestia asked, eyeing Luna’s coat, “You do seem shinier than when you left.”

“A simplified explanation, I’ll tell you the specifics in a more private setting,” Luna said tersely, her patience wearing thin.

“I see. It concerns me how friendly you’ve gotten with these monsters, letting them touch you in your sleep,” Celestia said with a shiver.

“They are not-” Luna began angrily.

“It’s fine,” I interrupted, “I learned a long time ago that I wouldn’t change anything by getting angry.”

“But it isn’t right! You’ve done so much for so many, you don’t deserve to be disrespected like this.”

“As if this vile creature could do anything besides spread misery,” Celestia spat.

“Now you’re trying to pick a fight,” I pointed out, “Luna, my people had a saying to counter people like this, ‘I don’t believe in trolls.’ You just say that to every hateful thing they say.”

“How childish,” Celestia commented.

“I don’t believe in trolls,” I countered.

“Stop it, you cretin,” Celestia said, an annoyed tone entering her voice

“~I don’t believe in trolls,” Luna sang.

“Luna I forbid you from spending any more time with this monster, it is obviously corrupting your mind,” Celestia commanded.

“That will be difficult to do,” Luna commented, turning away to hide her smile.

“Why is that?” Celestia asked heatedly.

“Jay has offered me a room onboard Abaddon, one of the reasons I have returned to the castle is to gather my belongings,” Luna mentioned casually. 

Celestia refused to speak until we reached the restaurant. 

“Are you making fun of me?” Luna asked, looking at the restaurant’s sign.

“Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it. Wish they would spell it right, though,” I answered.

“The Moon Walk,” Celestia said blankly.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be wok, w-o-k, the type of pan they cook the food in. I think they’re spelling it wrong just to mess with me,” I commented.

“You seem to know quite a bit about this, Jay. Methinks you have a deeper history with this particular dining establishment,” Luna speculated.

“You could say that, at least I don’t own this one,” I said vaguely, they’d find out soon enough.

I was met with glares by the staff as we entered, the most hateful coming from the mare behind the counter.

“You actually going to pay me this time?” the mare shouted from across the restaurant. 

“When have I ever failed to pay for my meals?” I countered, matching her tone.

“You haven’t yet, but I know you’re just trying to get my guard down. And then, BAM, dined and dashed,” the paranoid unicorn exclaimed.

“Ease up Ivy, it’s Jay,” a bored voice growled from the back room.

“Ladies, let me introduce you to Ivy Star, the most shrewd business owner you will ever meet. The one in the back is Anton, the chef,” I said, stepping aside so the two diarchs could enter the building.

“Nopony eats for free, not even our esteemed rulers,” Ivy declared, unfazed by the presence of royalty.

“I’m done with this ridiculous charade,” Celestia announced as she turned and left. Luna and I shared a hoof/fist bump.

An annoyed diamond dog stepped out of the back room to glower at Ivy, “Another one? You can’t keep scaring off the customers, you keep this up and there won’t be anyone left. Then what are we gonna do?”

“I know, but we’ve been stolen from six times already. I don’t know what else to do,” Ivy replied, abashed.

“Not to interrupt, but is it cool if we grab my regular spot?” I asked gingerly.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll bring you some menus in a minute,” Anton replied, waving a paw at the referenced table. Luna and I took our seats at a corner table specifically placed so that its occupants could see the rest of the patrons while remaining as far away as possible.

“Odd relationship between those two,” Luna gossiped.

“Like ours?” I asked.

“Not as dramatic, but they are definitely close. What’s their story?” Luna asked.

“Anton got wrapped up with a slaving party, took a liking to one of the captives. Eventually decided to bust her out, that’s when I ran into them. I was killing my way through the lot of them and ran into Anton protecting Ivy from a bunch of other dogs.”

“What happened next?” Luna pressed, a wistful look on her face.

“Ivy got in the way before I could kill Anton, so I escorted them out and interrogated them. Six months later I presided over their wedding,” I concluded.

“Details, Jay,” Luna urged, leaning in.

“I’ve said too much already, it isn’t my story to tell. Go talk to Anton if you want more, he’s actually the friendlier one,” I said, leaning back against the reinforced chair.

“How convenient, here he comes now.”

“Here’re some menus, anything to drink in the meantime?” the dog asked, pulling out a pad and comically small pencil.

“Not at the moment. Though I have some questions, if you don’t mind,” Luna requested, gesturing at an empty chair.

“Not at all, princess. I only have a couple minutes though, need to get back to the kitchen,” Anton replied, sliding into the offered seat.

“Before you two start gossiping about Anton’s love life, how are you and Ivy able to afford employees?” I asked.

“Gryphons and minotaurs are attracted to strong females, we were doing pretty well until most of our customer base up and left. Now it’s all we can do to keep them on the payroll,” Anton explained sadly.

“That actually leads into my first question, you are rather well spoken for a diamond dog,” Luna observed.

“I’ve always been more talkative, but Ivy has a lot to do with it as well.”

“How do the two of you…” Luna began, whispering. Anton stiffened at the personal question.

“Jesus, Lu, we’re in public. I’m sorry Anton, you don’t have to answer that. Luna is still trying to figure out who she is,” I said quietly while facepalming.

“It’s...fine? I suppose the simplest answer is that we don’t. I’m not comfortable explaining any further. I need to get back to the kitchen,” Anton said, standing up.

“Could you get a bottle sent over here? I’m thinking red tonight,” I requested, Anton nodded before hurrying off.

“I crossed a line, didn’t I?” Luna asked, her ears drooping in shame.

“It’s partially my fault, I exposed you to Lucky. She is the worst possible point of reference for this kind of thing,” I apologized.

“That is no excuse. I fear I have lost a possible friend to this mishap,” Luna continued, her head threatening to droop all the way to the table.

“Heard you were talkin’ shit,” Ivy said from next to us, causing us both to jump. I’d been so concerned for Luna that I hadn’t heard her approach. Now that she wasn’t behind the counter, we could see that she was wearing a skirt and leggings.

“I owe you and Anton an apology, I was curious and asked an inappropriate question,” Luna explained sadly.

“Oh, I already know.” Luna flinched. “But I can see that you didn’t mean anything by it, I’ll give you a taste of what Anton was saying.” Ivy pulled the legging on her left foreleg up to the knee, exposing a furless patchwork of scars and dents in her flesh.

“My word, I’m so sorry,” Luna whispered, not wanting to reveal the mare’s condition to the world.

“It’s alright, I came to grips with it a long time ago,” Ivy replied, showing a gentleness I had never seen before.

“May I ask what happened?” Luna inquired, unable to look away from Ivy’s uncovered leg.

“Mean ass alpha liked hearing me scream. He started with my tail, cut the damn thing off an inch at a time. When he ran out of tail, he chained me to the ceiling and watched me squirm,” Ivy explained.

“Jay?”

“He was working on his new toy when I found him. So I peeled his skin off and left him on his own rack,” I answered, a malicious tone forming as I remembered the sight.

“I went back and found the body, that sight lulls me to sleep every night. I wish you had been there a few weeks earlier though,” Ivy added.

“Me too,” I said, Luna looked confused. I snaked a tendril into her ear and spoke through it, “Messed up legs won’t prohibit sex, that son of a bitch took an ax to her.”

Luna curled defensively before lunging out of her chair and wrapping her hooves around the scarred mare. 

“I’m so sorry,” Luna sobbed quietly, still attracting the attention of the other customers. I waved them off and they took the hint to return to their food.

“What could you have done? As I understand it, you were possessed and imprisoned at the time,” Ivy said in an attempt to comfort the diarch that was currently crying on her.

“Perhaps not then, but I can do something about this now,” Luna declared, rising to her hooves.

“I’ve been to the hospital, they couldn’t do anything for me,” Ivy countered. Luna closed her eyes, tears still rolling out the sides. 

“They. Were not. ME,” she cried, spreading her wings and opening her eyes revealing them to be shining with a black light. ‘How? Nope, I’m marking this down as something not to question.’

Runes began to appear in the air as Ivy lifted off the ground, her leggings and skirt unraveling into the bare threads they were formed from. Anton rushed out of the kitchen but was stopped from intervening by a tendril wrapping around his chest and holding him in place. The other customers attempted to force themselves through the opposite wall, finding it to be made of stronger materials than they were. 

A flash of darkness filled the room and Ivy floated back to the ground a second later, staring at her healed legs in wonder. Even her coat and tail had grown back.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. Luna sat down, exhausted, and found herself the recipient of a hug from Ivy.

“And that is alicorn level healing magic, I hope you were taking notes,” I said sarcastically to the rest of the restaurant. I released Anton and he proceeded to wrap his long arms around both Luna and Ivy. 

“I feel the need to lie down, I haven’t used that much magic at once in a long time. May we get our food to go?” Luna requested weakly.

“Of course, what would you like?” Anton replied.

“I never actually looked at the menu, I suppose I will have to go with your recommendation.”

“Same for me. Also, one of my enforcers should be by any minute now, you can give the bill to him. He’ll get you squared away,” I added. Anton almost sprinted back to the kitchen, eager to thank the one who had healed his wife in the only way he knew how.

Once we had our food we thanked the couple and made our way to Abaddon. However, Luna was weaker than she thought and needed me to carry her up to Abaddon’s back. Thankfully, Luna didn’t have much further to go as Abaddon moved Podrick into our path and Luna climbed inside without comment, allowing Abaddon to carry her directly to an empty room.

I went the long way, eventually reaching the room where Luna and Podrick were located.

“Knock, knock,” I said as I strolled into the room. Podrick peeled away to reveal Luna’s head.

“Have you ever smelled anything so glorious?” Luna asked. In response I extended the third arm I had been holding the food with over my shoulder and set it next to her head.

“That’s why I like stir fry.”

“I can’t reach it,” she pouted tiredly, attempting to bite at the bag.

“Burnout?” I asked idly as I unpacked our dinner.

“Yeah, it’s only a minor case, but I’ll be without magic until tomorrow,” she replied.

“That sucks. Yo Abby, stool me.” A stool formed a few feet away. “Over here, jackass.”

“What are you doing?” Luna asked, eyeing the placement of the stool.

“How do you plan on eating?” I countered.

“I was-oh. You intend to feed me then,” Luna assumed.

“Let’s not make this anymore awkward than it needs to be,” I said, rolling a fork full of noodles and spices.

“I agree, let’s keep this professional, and thank you.”

“Here comes the choo choo train.”

“I rescind my statement. Go fuck yourself.” After a few minutes of this we were almost done with the plate.

“Feeling better?” I asked, grabbing the last bit of noodles. Luna stopped me, her face rapidly turning a shade of red.

“Jay, something’s wrong. I feel warm,” she said, looking at the fork fearfully. I took the bite in her stead and examined the different components.

“Are you allergic to wheat?” I inquired.

“That’s breads, right? No, I’m not.”

“Peppers?”

“No.”

“Ah, here it is. Anton added some ember bay leaves,” I concluded, discerning the dosage Luna had consumed.

“I recognize that herb! It’s a poison, get it out!” Luna cried, beginning to thrash in her cocoon.

“Relax, the dosage isn’t high enough to hurt you. It seems Anton wasn’t as offended as you thought,” I replied, calming Luna down as she considered my words.

“And what will this much do to me?” she pressed.

“I recognize this amount from my time in some of the more shady regions of the world, it’s used as a recreational drug. Expect your senses to go into overdrive over the course of the next few minutes, should be pretty fun,” I explained.

“I can see you, you are moving. Always moving, even when you don’t, you are-NO, I must keep a level head. How long will I be like this?” Luna asked, fighting for lucidity.

“An hour or two, just let it take you for a ride. They like this herb because it doesn’t mess up your life, you can’t get addicted,” I continued, opening the pod and placing Luna’s forehooves on my shoulders. I lifted her out and set her hind legs on the floor, then I formed and spread my wings. I began the slowest song I could think of and started to dance. Abaddon moved walls out of our way as needed, I wasn’t paying much attention to where we were. My focus was on a stoned Luna, who watched the world spin around her in wonder.

However, all things must end, and at the end of the song I set Luna back in Podrick to get her bearings. 

“How are you feeling?” I asked. 

“Abaddon thought I was a good girl,” Luna giggled in response.

“You can do that, OR, you can watch me keep Chelly awake for a few hours. Also, no magic,” I offered, adding some biomass to her horn to be safe.

“Hehe, I wanna watch Tia be mad at you,” Luna exclaimed with the grace of a toddler.

“Okay, Podrick, seal her up. Abaddon, have a squad of Mikes waiting on the deck,” I ordered, already walking towards the exit.

“Is that the new name for my back?” Abaddon asked as I walked.

“Sounds more official,” I said simply. I found the requested squad and Podrick waiting for me when I exited Abaddon, “Two of you carry the pod, the rest are with me. Oh, Podrick, you can let Luna see again.”

“That was fun! Let’s go again,” Luna said, the enforcers ignored her as they got into position. We took flight towards the castle, coming to a hover near the window to Celestia’s bedroom. A quick peek told me that she was just climbing into bed. ‘Perfect.’

I sent tendrils around the four enforcers I had available and instructed them to hold me just outside the window, “I’d like to begin with a song that always reminds me of home, well, my old home anyway.”

“Jekyll, please don’t do this,” Celestia pleaded, creeping towards the door.

“Gamma, block the door,” I called to the air, “As for you, it’s past due that I say ‘[https://youtu.be/zuQGx1H1Qh8]Welcome To The Pride!’”

“You’ve made your point, leave me alone!” Celestia shouted as soon as the song ended.

“Not yet I haven’t. The war has not been won,” I replied casually.

“What war? Against me?”

“Of course not, don’t you know what the real enemy is? Silence Is The Enemy!” This time I had to dodge blasts from her horn as I sang. 

“Enough! Where are my guards? Somepony kill this thing!”

“They gave up on that a long time ago, it’s just you and me. And didn’t you know? I never sleep, I keep my eyes wide open!” I cried, but Celestia sent a beam of light and fire through the tendrils supporting me, sending me crashing into the bushes, “Fine, be that way.”

“Shall we return to Abaddon, sir?” one of the enforcers carrying Luna asked when I rejoined them.

“Yeah, let’s do that. What did you think, Lu?” I asked, Luna’s eyes had glazed over.

“I’m still a little out of it, but I must agree. Returning to Abaddon would be a prudent course of action,” Luna replied, but her face didn’t match her words. I kept an eye on her the entire way back to the room she was occupying, even carrying her and Podrick to the room myself.

“What are you hiding?” I questioned.

“I’m not hiding anything,” Luna intoned, her voice dead.

“Podrick, open up,” I commanded, the cocoon obeyed my order and showed me what was happening inside the pod. Luna was completely covered in tiny writhing tendrils. A closer inspection showed that they weren’t actually doing anything, just pressing against her skin and moving, “Stop that, you’ll send her into shock.”

“Aww, that felt nice,” Luna complained as the tendrils retreated.

“Your brain isn’t designed to handle that much stimulation, it was shutting down to protect itself,” I pointed out, causing Luna’s eyes to widen for a moment.

“But I’m going to be like this for another hour and my skin feels like it’s on fire. What am I supposed to do?” she whined, kicking at the air.

“Not getting Podrick to kill you would be a good start. Other than that, he could always clean it out of your system,” I suggested.

“Nooo, not yet. Does this affect my ability to taste things as well? Let’s get some wine,” Luna rebutted. Abaddon produced the forgotten bottle of red wine that I had ordered at Ivy and Anton’s restaurant. 

“I will not be getting drunk this time, one of us needs to be responsible,” I stated, opening the bottle with a claw.

“Could you sit down, I can’t drink it on my own right now,” Luna requested.

“Sure.” I sat on the pod next to her and she crawled into my lap, shuffling around until she was leaning against my left arm. I gave her the first sip, ensuring that I didn’t pour too much and choke her.

“Thank you.” Her mood turned somber. “Jay, why won’t anypony come to my court? Tia said she had it put in the newspaper. Don’t they like me?”

“They don’t know you yet. But you’re doing a good job changing that, going out and making friends, healing Ivy like that. Word will get around that you’re the friendly one, and ponies will start coming to the night court,” I said comfortingly and taking a sip of the wine.

“But what if they see you like Tia does? What if they make me choose between your friendship and my crown? I don’t want to make that choice,” Luna panicked.

“They won’t, and do you think it would stop me if they did?” I said, giving her shoulder a light squeeze.

“No, I don’t believe it would. How are you so confident?” Luna asked, calming back down and taking another sip.

“General apathy. I make a few exceptions for my friends, of course,” I answered, “It isn’t an act, I really don’t care about most things.”

“Yes it is, or you wouldn’t have saved those ponies Lucky mentioned, or spared Anton. You should really learn to admit that you’re a good person.”

“Maybe someday, I have a lot to make up for first,” I commented darkly, taking a long pull from the bottle.

“Defending your home is not a crime. How long must you beat yourself over that one day?”

“There were other days, darker days.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“No, I might later, but for now I want to keep these to myself.”

“Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.” I did and she placed her lips on mine again, though just a peck this time.

“Was that an attempt to cheer me up, or the drugs warping your decision making?” I asked.

“Neither, that was purely for selfish reasons. Your talk of days gone by has reminded me that you are the closest I have ever come to a coltfriend, I’m feeling rather lonely as a result,” she explained.

“You’re the only pony I’ve ever heard describe themselves as lonely while sitting in a lap,” I commented.

“I may be the first. According to Lucky, a grown mare only sits in a stallions lap for a certain coitus position, if they’re into it,” she finished with a laugh.

“Lucky has a skewed perspective on a lot of things. But if that’s what you thought, why did you crawl into my lap?”

“You aren’t a stallion,” she replied simply.

“And you aren’t under the effects of the drug anymore,” I added with a smirk.

“I suspect the tingling sensation in my back and posterior have something to do with that. Though how did he know I would receive the drugged meal?” Luna wondered.

“He probably hit both of them,” I assumed.

“Now I wonder what you would be like on this drug?”

“No effect, my senses are like that all the time,” I answered.

“You lie,” Luna accused, “It nearly drove me mad, how could you possibly live like that?”

“Would you like to see the world through my eyes? I’ve never done this before but I understand the theory behind it,” I asked. At Luna’s nod I extended several tendrils onto her head and into her brain, taking care not to damage any of the existing connections as I added my own to them. I closed my eyes before finalizing the connection, “Are you ready?”

“I think so,” she replied nervously. I opened my eyes, “You were telling the truth after all.”

“I’m taking the brunt of the input for you, it’s a lot more vivid on my end. Want the rest too?” I offered, setting up the connections.

“I’m ready,” Luna said after a moment. I slowly transitioned her sensory inputs to my own.

“How do you feel?” I asked, making sure I hadn’t damaged her.

“Oft. Aulking is ard, lllp eeeee.” I formed another mouth and transferred control of it to Luna.

“Thank you, talking is quite difficult when you can’t feel your mouth. I feel softer than I had expected,” the mouth said with my voice. I looked around the room, letting her see and smell everything.

“What do you think?”

“Incredible, I suspect I will feel crippled when you return me to my own senses. If I may, what is that mist rising from my tail?” Luna asked.

“Pheromones, every pony releases them. Once you get to know about their biology, you can interpret their moods by the amount released,” I explained.

“You can see smells?”

“Not quite, I can see the cause of the smells,” I added.

“Amazing, what does this cloud say about my mood?” I sent a tendril into the cloud and took a powerful sniff, allowing Luna to smell it as well.

“You’re frustrated,” I answered.

“I don’t feel frustrated,” Luna countered.

“Sexually frustrated, that is the scent of a mare looking to have a couple foals. Sooner rather than later, if she gets a say in the matter. This is what Lucky always smells like,” I explained.

“I’m blaming the drugs,” Luna said defensively.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been emitting these pheromones around me more and more,” I teased, we both watched Luna’s face redden.

“We’ve already spoken about this, teasing me about it accomplishes nothing. Although, this reminds me, did Sierra division find anything to help you regain your ability to love?” Luna asked sadly, her numb ears dropping reflexively.

“Not yet, they’re working their way through those tokens right now. I felt it was a more pressing issue,” I replied.

“As I understand it, Cadence would argue with you about that.”

“Nah, she gets it. She’s just happy that I can still feel familial love.”

“That’s why you adopted Lucky’s family then? A rather touching sentiment,” Luna commented, an easy smile spreading across her face.

“I’m going to give you back your senses, close your eyes and try not to move,” I said. Luna did so and I gently transferred her neural connections back to her body and withdrew the tendrils.

“May I open my eyes?” she asked.

“Sure, aww hell, I didn’t let you taste wine like I do,” I self-criticized.

“Couldn’t you just do the same thing again?” Luna inquired.

“No, I don’t want to put too much strain on you. But if I just overrode your taste buds…” I contemplated.

“Do it, I’ve come this far, I want to know what it’s like to be you,” Luna ordered. I had finished working through the details, I didn’t like the results. The actual taste connections would be the easiest part of this endeavor, the hard part would be keeping her from ripping her own tongue out in the process. I’d need to anchor the tendrils deeper to compensate.

“It’ll be uncomfortable, are you sure?” I confirmed.

“Yes, it can’t be worse than when you pulled that poison out of me,” she replied.

“It will, by a lot.”

“Do it, I’m ready,” Luna stated without hesitation. A number of tendrils dove down her throat, latching into the sides of her esophagus and her tongue as they went. Once the connection was fully established, I expanded the infestation to include her lungs and began supplying her with oxygen. I took a long pull off the wine bottle before undoing my gruesome work.

“You okay?” I asked a retching Luna.

“Again,” she coughed.

“What? Are you insane?”

“I was too distracted to pay attention. Do it again, I know what I’m getting into this time,” she commanded.

“No, I’m not going to put you through that again. I’ll link to your brain again in a few days, you can have your taste test then,” I rebutted.

“Fine, it’s about time I got to night court anyway. Not that I’ll have anything to do,” Luna replied grumpily.

“Can you fly or will I need to carry you,” I asked the most hardcore mare on the planet.

“We shall see. May we bring Podrick along? If we have time, I’d like to sneak in a nap,” she requested.

“I’ll make another one when we get there. You can do a whole vampire thing if someone actually shows up,” I suggested. Luna squeed at the idea.

“Oh, that would be hilarious. Can you make the new one look like a coffin?” Luna asked excitedly.

“And stand up on its own. Maybe add some biomass to give you bat wings and fangs?” I added, growing to like the idea.

“Once I have my magic back, I’ll be able to use illusions to simulate the wings and fangs. We’ll need to use your biomass tonight, however,” she conceded.

“Let’s get going, we need to get there early if we’re going to set this prank up in time.” We rushed out of the room, barely slowing to grab a Gamma and Mike squad on our way off Abaddon. 

We reached the courtroom with scant minutes before the court was set to begin. I had the Mike squad take positions in the hallway, disguised as statues but with an almost microscopic tendril connected to a single small bell near the throne. I had found the bell connected to a pulley system apparently used to summon servants. The Gammas and I worked together to craft Luna’s new look and coffin before they shifted their forms to look like bat-demons and took positions hanging from the ceiling. I hid myself above the door into the courtroom, both to open and close the door eerily and drop down to corner any ponies that tried to run. As an afterthought, I shifted my form to look like a more aggressive version of the Gammas hanging above.

The bell rang a few minutes later, I opened the door to admit our first victim. It turned out to be the stallion Celestia had walked out on earlier, Fancy Pants, I slammed the door shut behind him. The startled pony jumped and looked around for the one responsible for scaring him, finding only the coffin in the center of the room. 

As he approached it out of curiosity, it suddenly tilted ninety degrees to stand upright. The poor noble made for the door, but found it guarded by a devilish monster. As he looked around, more began to drop around him from the ceiling. I closed in as well. 

Just as we reached the surrounded stallion, a voice stopped us, “Hold, my pets. This one shall be my dinner tonight.”

“Yes mistress,” we said in unison, backing away and revealing a vampiric alicorn staring hungrily at the terrified stallion. I took position on all fours next to her, my gaze daring the pony to try running. Luna sat and began stroking my head, as if this were a normal occurrence.

“Please, no. I don’t want to die,” Fancy whimpered.

“Is that so? Perhaps I’ll give you a chance then. If you can answer my question correctly, I’ll let you leave with your life,” Vampire-Luna purred.

“I-I”

“What is your purpose for coming here tonight?”

“Uh, P-princess Celestia closed court before I could get an answer as to whether I could use the castle gardens for a family reunion,” the terrified pony stuttered.

“This one speaks as if you are a mere secretary for the sun whore. I would relish the taste of his blood on my fangs,” I growled, not breaking eye contact with the noble.

“Nay, I promised him he would be allowed to live. Besides, there will be plenty to feast on later,” Luna soothed.

“May I go, mistress?” Fancy asked, shaking.

“Only if you can answer my question,” I growled, stepping forward until I was almost nose to nose with the pony, “Are you scared?”

“Yes,” Fancy squeaked.

“You should be, you’ve been pranked by the best team in the world,” I said in my normal voice, keeping my form otherwise.

“What?”

Luna broke first, roaring with laughter. The Gammas and I stepped away and shifted into our regular forms as Luna walked forward and patted the confused noble on the shoulder.

“What just happened?” Fancy asked, finding his voice.

“Night court is dreadfully boring, so we decided to add some life to it. Tonight we’re pranking everypony that shows up, you happened to be the first one,” Luna explained, “And you may absolutely use the gardens for your reunion, so long as you stay away from the statue of Discord.”

“Good show, I’ve never felt my heart race like this before. I had no idea night court would be this much fun, I’ll have to come here more often,” Fancy Pants exclaimed.

“Way to be a good sport,” I congratulated.

“You especially gave me quite a fright mister Jekyll, wherever did you get the idea for that disguise?”

“I don’t know where these six got their forms from, but mine was inspired by a demon I took down a few years ago,” I answered, the enforcers changed back into their previous forms and returned to their hiding places on the ceiling.

“Fascinating, and you mistress, sorry, Princess Luna, you were incredible. Have you ever considered a career in acting? I know a few ponies that would love to have one as skilled as you.”

“Alas, I am chained to this throne. Else I might take you up on that offer,” Luna answered. The bell rang again, “Positions. Fancy, lay down in the corner. Jay, make him all bloody.”

Fancy pants rushed into the corner and I added a red liquid that would pass for blood in a trail from his neck to the coffin and lept into my hiding place. This time it was a servant who simply poked her head in, saw the ‘corpse,’ and ran off without entering the room fully. A couple minutes later the bell went crazy for a half second before falling silent.

A dozen guards stormed into the courtroom, weapons pointed in all directions. I slowly closed the door behind them, adding some weight to make it creak. The guards were unnerved by this but pressed on, the lead one followed the blood trail to the coffin and approached. As with Fancy, the coffin righted as they got near it. However, these ones didn’t attempt to run, allowing the Gammas and I to crawl down the walls and creep up on them. 

The coffin opened slowly, Luna dropping to all fours once it had opened enough for her to do so. She ran her tongue over her fangs as she looked over the new arrivals.

“Release the princess, demon,” the squad leader, a sergeant commanded forcefully.

“I don’t believe I will,” Luna purred, running a wing over the sergeant’s back seductively as she passed, causing the squad to turn and see the rest of us assembled and ready to pounce. Their weapons rose again as we closed in.

I barked a cruel laugh, “May I feast upon them, my mistress?” 

“You know the rules of our coven, we may only kill those who cannot answer our questions,” Luna whispered loudly in my ear, ensuring the guards could hear. She approached them with me and sprawled across my back once I stopped, her oversized bat wings spread out over my own. 

She stared at them upside down with her head pressed against the top of mine as I asked my question, “Are you scared?”

“The celestial guard are the defenders of Harmony,” the sergeant called.

“And we shall feel no fear!” the squad chanted.

“Foolish, but brave. This is getting a little dangerous for my liking, I concede. Mistress?”

“I concede as well. Well done, Tia has some excellent ponies watching over her,” Luna said normally as she rolled off of me and back onto her hooves.

“So you will release Princess Luna?” the sergeant asked.

“I was never possessed, I’m just having some fun with my court.”

“And the demons?”

“Sup, name’s Jekyll. The rest are my guards.”

“And the body?”

“You may rise, Fancy,” Luna said, Fancy Pants didn’t move. I walked over and checked on the noble.

“He fell asleep,” I called back, lifting the sleeping pony and placing him on a bench.

“It is pretty late,” one of the guards reasoned.

“Do you have further need of us, princess? Thralls, perhaps?” the sergeant asked, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

The rest of the night continued along the same trend, every pony we got joined our ranks in pranking the next set. By the time Celestia walked in at dawn, we had a small army of thralls and zombies commanded by a squad of demons and led by a vampiric princess. Celestia took one look at us and teleported away. After a quick vote, we decided to see how long we could hold the courtroom. 

We gave up and went our separate ways at noon, a number of guards surprising their comrades by being suddenly cured of being a zombie. I heard some of our former thralls talking about transferring to Luna’s guard as we passed on our way to Abaddon.

“Now that we have a moment, were you intending to move to Abaddon before you said that to Chelly?” I asked Luna as we walked past her old quarters.

“Nope, it was kind of a spur of the moment idea. Sorry I didn’t ask you first,” Luna replied.

“It’s cool, I probably would have offered at some point anyway,” I commented.

“At some point?” Luna challenged.

“I can’t give you the option if I don’t think of it first,” I pointed out.

“A fair point. Shall we get some lunch on our way home?” Luna suggested.

“Nah, I’ll have a Mike pick something up. You should get to bed, you’ve been awake for nearly two days now.”

“As you say, I should lie down soon,” Luna yawned.

“You’re about to pass out,” I noted, “I’ll carry you the rest of the way. Don’t worry about nodding off, I’ll make sure you find your way into your favorite bed.”

“Thanks, Jay,” Luna replied, tilting dangerously before I wrapped a few hundred tendrils around her and carried her to the nearest balcony. 

A Sierra was waiting for me near the door into Abaddon’s interior, “Sir, we’ve got it.”

“Be quiet, she’s asleep,” I hissed.

“My apologies,” the enforcer whispered, “We have figured out how the tokens work. In addition, we have gained an understanding of how to create one.”

“Continue.”

“According to our information, all you need to do is take an item of some significance, speak the message you want to accompany it, and will it into other universes.”

“That’s retarded. Check it again, there is no way in hell it works like that.”

“We did, that is indeed how these tokens are created.”

“I’ll test it myself. If you’re wrong I’ll be taking a serious look at the future of Sierra division,” I threatened.

“I await your findings,” the Sierra said, turning down a separate corridor. 

I walked into Luna’s room, which now looked remarkably like her room in Canterlot Castle. I briefly wondered when the enforcers had done this, as I hadn’t given the order yet. After placing Luna inside Podrick I sat down and contemplated the Sierra’s directions.

A moment later I formed a copy of a single claw, but made entirely out of dead bone to prevent a Redlight pandemic from spreading throughout the multiverse. 

“I am Jekyll, render of flesh and conqueror of nations, call me and be judged. If I find you worthy of my attention, I may help you in your endeavors. Should I find you wanting however, I shall destroy you for wasting my time,” I declared with a dark tone, tossing the claw into the air. It disappeared when it was even with my nose, confirming the Sierra’s prediction.

“Was that wise?” a tired voice asked.

“It’ll make first meetings a little awkward, but it will also tell me the character of the one trying to summon me. If they attack me for being ’evil,’ then I know they’re good people. Anyone who wants to use my power for their own purposes is not,” I answered.

“Backwards thinking is a bad idea Jay, what if you lose?” Luna countered.

“I intend to meet all of them on my terms, surrounded by enforcers with Abaddon looming overhead,” I replied, “If there’s anything that can take on all of us and win, then we’ve got bigger problems.”

“I suppose, but must you meet new friends by getting them to try and kill you?”

“Nah, that’s just for fun.”

“I will never understand you, Jay.”

“If I had a bit for every time I’d heard that,” I commented.
> Chapter 10: Meanwhile...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective Change: Jeffrey
Ponyville Library


It had been a good week, mostly. Poor Twilight wasn’t adjusting well to having me watch over her so directly, and Spike seemed to think we were competing for the title of best assistant. All of the other little ponies didn’t seem to mind, however.

“Twilight dear, you’re supposed to meet your friends in the park in a few minutes. Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” I asked, extending a brush towards the disheveled unicorn.

“I’ve got it!” Spike shouted as he snatched the brush out of my loose grip, he had been acting increasingly hostile over the last couple weeks.

“Okay Spike, it’s all yours,” I said, trying to avoid a confrontation.

“Spike, you really should be nicer to Jeff, he’s only trying to help,” Twilight admonished as she accepted the brush and began fixing her mane.

“It’s quite alright, dear. I believe I understand little Spikie’s feelings.”

“What could you possibly know about me?” Spike countered angrily.

“You forget little one, I am this building. I can hear you complain when you think you’re alone. You are afraid that I’m going to replace you,” I responded simply, careful not to say too much. Spike froze.

“Spike! Is this true? Oh, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. Maybe I shouldn’t go, not when my number one assistant needs me,” Twilight ranted, dropping the brush and pulling Spike into a hug. I picked up the brush and finished fixing her mane before putting the brush away.

“No, I’ll be fine. You should go have some fun, Twilight,” Spike said, showing his unusual maturity.

“I agree, you haven’t spent much time with your friends this week, Twilight. Don’t you have a friendship report due in three days?” I added.

“Ohmygoshyou’reright,Ihavetogobye,” Twilight called as she bolted for the door.

“How did you know that would work?” Spike asked curiously; I fixed him with a blank stare, “Right, the whole ‘you are the house’ thing. So, what happens now? Are we supposed to fight?”

“Why would we do that?” I replied in my real voice, which was noticeably deeper and lacked the singsong quality it usually had.

“I don’t know; I just figure it’s only a matter of time before Twi decides she doesn’t want a runt hanging around. What am I supposed to do?” Spike answered sadly. I sighed.

“Spike you’re not a runt, you’re still a child. You’ll grow up eventually.”

“I’m thirteen, I should be twice as tall as I am now. I’m a runt, Twilight just hasn’t figured it out yet,” Spike sobbed as he sat down and tried to hold his tears in with his hands, “Maybe that’s why my real parents didn’t want me, they knew I was defective.”

That word shook me to my core. After Lord Jekyll had discovered my unique personality, he had flipped a coin to decide whether I was defective or not. That coin could have ended my life.

“You are not defective Spike. I may not know enough about dragons to explain your height issues, but I have met my fair share. You are the nicest, most selfless dragon I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. If you really believe Twilight doesn’t see that as well, then you should take a good long look at your life. Twilight will never think of you as anything other than her Spike, and neither will I,” I declared, holding onto Spike’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Then you aren’t trying to take my place?” Spike asked hopefully, looking up at where I was jutting out of the wall.

“Of course not. Lord Jekyll told me to take care of Twilight, so that’s what I’m doing. I never meant to upset you, in fact, I consider taking care of you to be part of that order.”

“And by that you mean…”

“The common definition. Fed, bathed, in bed on time. If he wanted you dead, it would have happened a long time ago.”

“Dude, you need to work on the creep factor,” Spike commented.

“So I’ve been told. Six times today,” I replied dryly, “I’m trying.”

“Wait, it’s eight in the morning. How is that possible?” Spike asked, his fears forgotten.

“I’m roughly twelve miles wide and capable of holding multiple conversations at the same time, right now I’m also making Mayor Mare some coffee and giving Lyra a massage,” I explained.

“Really? That’s pretty cool. Anything interesting going on?” Spike asked with a little too much enthusiasm before stopping himself, an embarrassed look crossing his face.

“I close off my senses when the locals get...close, it isn’t any of my business,” I replied, giving him a disapproving look.

“Sorry. According to some books I’ve found, I’m hitting something called-” Spike began.

“Puberty. And part of it is learning how to control yourself. I won’t make a big deal out of this, but I also won’t help you build your own ‘creep factor,’” I scolded.

“Wait a minute, you’re acting weird,” Spike pointed out, finally noticing my change in demeanor.

“In a manner of speaking. This is my normal attitude; I only act feminine to mess with Lord Jekyll.”

“You can do that? I got the impression that you were his slave or something,” Spike pressed, leaning closer.

“It’s complicated. I’m forced to follow his orders for the safety of others, but they are rare and open to interpretation. Outside of that, I am free to make my own choices.”

“Kind of like me and Twilight?”

“Twilight and I, and that would be a decent comparison.”

“We’re not so different after all. Thanks Jeff, I feel much better.”

“Anytime Spike,” I replied.

“I may as well get my chores done for the day, maybe Twilight will let me go to the arcade,” Spike commented as he rose and began walking towards the stairs, I followed him into the main room.

“Spike, can I ask you something personal?”

“I don’t have a crush on Twilight; she’s basically my mom.”

“Have you ever had a male figure in your life?” I asked, pointedly ignoring Spike’s statement.

“Wow, straight for the kill, huh.” Spike paused on the stairs, my head hanging from the ceiling next to him. “Not really, Shining was around sometimes, and the guards were okay, but it was usually Twilight and the Princess.”

“Thank you for your honesty, what do you say we go play catch?” I suggested.

“Jeff, are you trying to insert yourself as a father figure?” Spike accused, throwing me a sideways glance.

“So much for subtlety. Yes, I am.”

“Sure, as soon as I get my chores done. What’s today?”

“Friday, dusting and sweeping.” My tendrils swarmed over every surface in the library, removing any trace of dust or other impurities. “Done.”

“Jeff, why did you dust me?” Spike asked, an uncomfortable expression on his face.

“Dead skin creates dust. Clean off the dead skin, and you reduce the amount of dust you have to deal with later,” I explained, attempting to cover my lapse in attention.

“I have scales,” Spike pointed out flatly.

“Dandruff?”

“Dragons don’t have hair.”

“I’m sorry, I got distracted for a moment and didn’t mean to,” I admitted.

“Did something happen? Is Twilight okay?” Spike asked, panic starting to appear on his face.

“Everyone is fine, I just need to have a word with Lyra.”


Lyra and Bon-Bon’s house
A few minutes earlier


“Oooh yeah, that’s the spot. Right there. Oh, don’t stop,” Lyra moaned into her pillow.

“Lyra? Are you okay?” Bon-Bon asked as she peeked around the door to find her roommate face down on her bed, a number of tendrils gently massaging her shoulders and neck. Lyra looked up at the sound.

“Boooonnnnniiiiiie, you gotta try thish. Itsh amazshing,” Lyra replied, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth.

“Uh, yeah. I thought I heard something else, I’m going to go now,” Bon-Bon said before retreating.

“Bye Bonnie. Ooh, yeah, like that. Oh, the only way this could get better was if you had hands,” Lyra commented longingly. I interpreted this as a request and formed a pair of hands to work on each joint with.

“Is that better honey?” I asked in my usual tone. Lyra looked over her shoulder and froze.

“Hands?” she hissed, her eyes wide, “You have hands now?”

“Is that bad? I’m sorry.” As I attempted to retract the arms, Lyra spun in place and wrapped her forelegs around three of them.

“No! Bring them back! And more, more of them!” she shouted frantically. I set her back in her previous position and, hesitantly, resumed the massage.

“Are you well, Lyra?” I asked, concerned.

“I like hands,” Lyra said simply, “Could you do my back as well?”

“Alright, but when did you develop this preference? I’ve never heard you mention it before,” I asked idly.

“Dated a minotaur for a couple of weeks last summer. The things she could do with those hands,” Lyra replied wistfully, clearly recalling a fond memory.

“She?” I continued, not really paying attention.

“Mmm, hips. Very sore.” I added another set to massage the desired area.

“Legs.” Four more pairs of arms extended.

“So how are things between you and Bon-Bon?” I asked, searching for a new topic to talk about.

“We broke up a week ago, but we’re still friends. Flip,” Lyra replied before flipping over and looking at me expectantly. I resumed my massage of her neck, shoulders and legs but hesitated to continue with the rest.

“Lyra, I don’t-” I managed before she grabbed three of the idle hands in her magic, forcing one of them into her mouth and the other two to massage her teats. I attempted to retract all the limbs on reflex, leaving the three she had a hold of in place until a magic blocking glob affixed itself to her horn. The hands that had been on her teats shot back to me and were reabsorbed immediately, Lyra bit down on the remaining one and held it in place.

“Lyra, please let go of me. I’m not comfortable with this,” I said as calmly as I could, but my shock could be felt throughout the town. Lyra just shook her head grabbed on with her hooves as well.

I sent another head to get help from Bon-Bon, “Could you help me get Lyra off, please?”

“You two are moving awfully fast, don’t you think?” an amused Bon-Bon replied.

“What? No, I meant off of me. She’s got a hold of one of my hands and won’t let go. Please help me,” I corrected. Bon-Bon sighed and began walking towards Lyra’s bedroom.

“Lyra, we talked about this, horseapples, we broke up over this. You can’t live like this Lyra, this hand obsession is tearing your life apart, and I can’t sit here and watch you destroy yourself. I’m making you choose Lyra: that stupid hand or me,” Bon-Bon said quietly once she had made her way to Lyra, who still had my hand lodged in her mouth. 

Lyra froze and began to cry, she released my hand a moment later and hugged Bon-Bon. I retreated from the house and closed off my ability to see and hear what happened inside; I didn’t want anything to do with the insane mare contained within. At least the Cakes were more easygoing.


Sugarcube Corner
A few seconds prior


“Jeffrey dear, could you get the next batch ready please?”

“Of course Mrs Cake. We can’t have the little sweeties going without their sweets, now can we?” I replied happily. The Cakes had accepted me with open arms, and now I did everything from kitchen work to foalsitting, this family was the rock I used to weather the insanity of the rest of the town.

“Thank you, Jeffrey, you can set them on the counter here. I’ll make sure they get in the oven on time,” Mr Cake said as he retrieved a special order Pinkie left earlier and returned to the register.

“Gah!” I shouted in alarm, twitching reflexively and burning a couple of my tendrils on the roof of the oven as I reached for a tray of cupcakes that were ready to cool. The tray moved with my tendrils and dumped the cupcakes on the floor.

“Oh, my. Are you alright Jeffrey?” Mrs Cake asked, concerned.

“Yes dear, I’m sorry. I was just startled for a moment,” I replied distantly, my main focus was on not alarming Spike and getting my hand freed.

“Are you hurt?” Mrs Cake pressed, looking at my singed tendrils, “I’ll get the first-aid kit.”

“That won’t be necessary, dear, though I appreciate your concern,” I said as I repaired the damaged tissue and began collecting the scattered pastries.

“Oh Jeffrey, you know you can talk to us if something is bothering you.”

“I know Mrs. Cake, but I shouldn’t say anything that would violate someone’s privacy. I’ve been very careful to stay out of those kinds of situations.”

“Except today. Wandered somewhere you shouldn’t have, hmm,” Mrs Cake asked with a sly smile.

“No, I... Can I trust you to keep this quiet?” I responded, my voice low to prevent any of the customers from overhearing.

“Pinkie promise, I’ve never cared for gossip.”

“I was giving Lyra a massage and discovered she has an obsession with hands...” I began.

“I don’t see how-”

“...In her mouth,” I finished.

“Oh dear. She didn’t do anything untoward, did she?” Mrs Cake asked, horrified. I straightened my posture and reverted to my normal voice

“I am a leviathan, my size is measured in cubic miles and my weight in the thousands of tons, how could she possibly assault me?” I countered, offended at the idea. Mrs Cake adopted a serious look.

“Jeffrey, there is a difference between physical and psychological harm. There’s no shame in admitting you were attacked.”

“For you perhaps, I carry the pride of Lord Jekyll and the enforcer corps. If they were to hear about this, I would be disgraced, maybe even recycled,” I replied sadly, this seemed to make Mrs Cake angry.

“I refuse to believe that. I’m sending a letter to this Jekyll, and we’re going to get this whole thing sorted out,” Mrs Cake declared as the stormed out of the kitchen towards the shop’s small office.

“No! Please, let me handle it, Jekyll will have me recycled for sure if I can’t manage one incident on my own,” I called in a panic as I chased after the mare.

“One hour. If you haven’t settled things with Lyra by then, I’m contacting Jekyll.”

‘I wonder if the Krakens have it this bad.’


Perspective Change: Kraken-One
Somewhere in the Eastern Ocean


“Two, what’s the ETA for Convo-three-one?” I rumbled in a language only we could understand.

“Thirty more seconds, lead. They’re mooring now,” Kraken-Two replied.

“Break off; they can handle it from there. All units, sound off. Anything new?”

“New pony on the Squidrunner, got his coat caught in the line. Nothing else to report.” That was Three; he’d spent the last couple weeks patrolling a fishing route.

“Found a wreck, matches the description Lord Jekyll gave us. I can confirm Gryphon involvement; that is all.” Four was on scavenging duty.

“This is Five; I have an unidentified contact approximately one hundred meters out at bearing one-seven-seven from my position. Moving to intercept, will report my findings.”

“Roger, Five, I’m enroute as well. Two, meet up with us before we converge on the contact. Six, anything to report?” I responded, pushing off of the ocean floor towards Five’s mysterious vessel.

“Negative, evidence suggests all hostile natives evacuated when we moved in,” Six replied.

“Understood, you’re wasted down there. I’ll be passing over your position in thirty, catch my wake and join the scout team,” I ordered. Six didn’t reply; he didn’t need to. I could feel the currents shift as he got into position.

“One, this is Five. False alarm, just a lost whale and some sealions,” Five called, stopping my momentum.

“Roger. Six, link up with Five. Everyone else back to your positions.” ‘Another false alarm, at least it wasn’t a pile of garbage this time. I shouldn’t complain, even Lord Jekyll is contributing to the war effort.’


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Abaddon’s back, near Canterlot


‘Holy shit, this is boring!’

I was sitting in a crude replica of my chair, formed out of Abaddon’s flesh, and it just wasn’t the same. Maybe it was the lack of the familiar lumps in my real chair; maybe it was the sheer amount of things happening at once. Whatever it was, I couldn’t manage to get comfortable enough to waste the day as I waited for Luna to wake up.

“JEKYLL!” Celestia screamed as she teleported onto Abaddon. Her eyes glowed with power, and she had a fiery aura around her that burned into Abaddon as she stomped toward me. I didn’t bother moving.

“What did I do now, Chelly?” I asked, a resigned tone entering my voice.

“THIS,” she shouted as a scroll appeared in front of my face.

I took a quick glance at the scroll before returning my gaze to Celestia, “Too long; didn’t read.”

“You violated my sister!” she yelled, she was losing steam the longer this continued. Another few seconds and she would be at a reasonable volume. ‘Must have been Lu’s report on our vacation.’

“Refresh my memory. What are you talking about?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“The squony venom that you forcibly extracted from her body with no warning,” she accused.

“I recall the poison, but what the fuck is a squony?”

“Squid. Pony. Squony.”

“Right, ‘cause that’s not the dumbest name I’ve ever heard. Whatever, you’re pissed because I invaded Luna’s cells to clean out the poison, right?”

“Correct, are you even going to try to deny these charges?” Celestia asked, advancing on me.

“Nope. In fact, that cocoon she’s taken a liking to does the same thing while she sleeps. It’s purely for health and sanitation purposes,” I replied calmly, Celestia looked almost homicidal. ‘Viruscidal? Germicidal? Screw it, I don’t care.’

“You stay away from my sister or I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” I said angrily, rising from my shitty chair, “You’ll fucking what?”

“I’ll-” Celestia was backing away as I strode towards her, her aura disappeared and her eyes returned to their normal state as her rage gave way to fear.

“You won’t do shit. Maybe before you fucked up and attacked the one place that accepted me, you’d have done something. But now? Now you’re a scared little bitch with clipped wings. Who took the sky from you Celestia, WHO WAS IT?!” I shouted, grabbing her horn to prevent her from teleporting away.

“You,” she whimpered, defenseless without her magic. I forced her head toward the, already healing, burns she had left when she arrived.

“You can be hateful towards me all you want, you can scream at me for saving Luna’s life, you can blame me for everything wrong in the world, but you do not get to come here and threaten me on my turf. You do not get to throw a tantrum and hurt my people. And you definitely do not get to make a god awful racket directly above where Luna sleeps; I have to deal with that shit when she wakes up,” I lectured the leader of the largest country on the planet.

“Small victories,” Celestia commented petulantly.

“Get the fuck off my Leviathan,” I replied dryly as I threw her over the side, with any luck she wouldn’t figure out that she could teleport before she was spattered across the side of the mountain. A quiet pop told me my hopes were in vain.

“And I thought Discord was scary,” a tired voice said from the doorway that led into Abaddon’s internal structures.

“Hey you, you’re supposed to be asleep,” I commented as I turned towards where Luna was standing.

“I was, but then some scared little bitch with clipped wings started making a god awful racket,” Luna replied with a smirk.

“You heard all of that, then,” I noted.

“In Tia’s defense, I wasn’t sleeping very well.”

“The nightmares back?” I asked, stepping closer.

“I’m afraid so, but they aren’t as bad as they were before,” Luna replied, turning to follow me as I led the way back to her room.

“Luna, you know I mean this in the best way possible, but you look like shit. Let’s get you back to bed before you sleep through another day.”

“I’m inclined to ~yawn~ agree. Remind me to talk to you later about waking up during one of Podrick’s cleanings.”

“Not a chance in hell, I don’t want to know,” I replied with a light chuckle.

“Is this the same being that spoke so hatefully towards my sister, now showing me such gentleness less than a minute later?” Luna asked, a trace of sarcasm in her voice.

“We can discuss the way I treat different people right after we talk about your mood swings when you were high the other day,” I countered.

“I can hardly be held accountable for what I said, I was not in my right mind,” Luna protested as I reached her room.

“Why won’t anypony go to my court? Why don’t they like me? Is Tia prettier than me?” I whined mockingly.

“Shut up and get in the pod,” Luna ordered crossly, her sides shaking with restrained laughter.

“Un momento,” I said, sending a tendril into the cocoon to adjust its shape.

“What?”

“We won’t fit; I’ll need to make Podrick even larger to fit both of us,” I explained.

“I’m aware of that; I was asking what you said.”

“One moment.” A few seconds passed as I adjusted the bioform Luna used as a bed to accommodate my size and weight.

“Well?” Luna asked.

“Well, what?”

“Are you going to tell me or not?”

“Luna, un momento means one moment,” I answered as if speaking to a child. Luna’s attitude soured as she walked over and climbed into Podrick. I climbed in next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, assuming our normal sleeping positions would ease Luna’s nightmares. A minute later I felt a tear land on my shoulder, “Luna, what’s wrong?”

“That’s what I am, isn’t it? A foal, a foal that needs her daddy to chase away the nightmares. But what if her daddy has been dead for thousands of years? Who checks under the bed for monsters then? Tia would do it herself; she was mother’s favorite, she was the one who got personalized lessons on how to rule over the lesser races, she was the one who-who got to go hunting with father and learn how to fight.” She paused to wipe a tear from her cheek. “I was always the other one, always in the way, always intruding on Tia’s perfect life. The accident, the unwanted. And now, I’m the scared one, the fallen one, a disgrace,” Luna sobbed, burying her face in my chest. I wrapped my other arm around her and pulled her into a hug. Her horn dug into my shoulder, but I ignored it.

“Their loss. If they couldn’t see the amazing mare that I do, then I honestly feel sorry for them. You’ll never have to be that scared, lonely filly ever again. I’ll always be right here; I’ll be the one to check under the bed for you,” I said reassuringly. Luna freed her horn and threw her forehooves around my neck, continuing to cry as I gently rubbed her back.

“Thank you, I needed to hear that,” Luna whispered.

“While we’re here, has anything else been eating at you?”

“The loneliness that bore the Nightmare never left me, though you help keep it at bay,” Luna confessed.

“I think I understand that one, and I have an idea of how to erase it,” I replied gently.

“Really? How?” Luna asked, her head lifting to look me in the eyes, her own filled with desperate hope.

“First, a wager. I bet that I’ll be the first one to leave this cocoon. If I win, you have to spend an entire day in Podrick while he constantly cleans you. This includes during court and going out to eat. What do you want if you win? You can ask anything of me, what does your lonely heart desire most in this world?” I proposed.

“Companionship,” Luna replied breathlessly, her irises had shrunk to pinpricks in shock as she realized my intentions.

“Then that is what you shall receive if you prove victorious,” I declared formally. I threw the pod open with one hand and tossed Luna across the room with the other, “You win.”

“What was that!” Luna cried as she scrambled back to her hooves.

“You scoring a coltfriend. Or to use a term from my world, a ‘boyfriend,’” I answered matter of factly.

“I-Truly?” Luna stammered, “But your inability to love-”

“Has no bearing in this. A better description would be a lack of desire; I can still care for others. And I’ve grown to care about you, plus I find the term ‘Luna the unwanted’ offensive. Why don’t you come back to bed and get some peaceful sleep, I’ll keep watch for any monsters,” I replied, patting the space next to me.

Luna settled into my arms with a tired sigh, her lack of sleep catching up with her. I placed a soft kiss on her cheek as she was falling asleep, startling her back to full wakefulness. ‘Damnit, that was supposed to be comforting.’

“Sorry,” I apologized.

“No, it’s fine. That’s what couples do, but it made me think about other things. Are we supposed to have sex now?” Luna asked, her face showing her confused and jumbled emotions. 

“Slow your roll, Casanova. That’s a conversation for another time, all you need to worry about right now is what you want to dream about.” Luna just stared at me, incredulous.

“How can I sleep at a time like this? Everything has changed in an instant! Couples do all sorts of things that I know nothing about! I have a- What was that word you used?” Luna began before interrupting herself.

“Boyfriend.”

“I have a boyfriend now, but Tia and I are forbidden from taking lovers. What do I do, Jay?” Luna concluded.

“I’d ignore that particular rule. As for everything else: we’ve already been doing everything together for weeks, we’ll be fine,” I responded, slowly feeding a mild sedative into Luna’s bloodstream.

“And sex! I’ve never had sex before, that I remember anyway. But that’s assuming that Bishop was telling the truth. Everything Lucky taught me ended with an ‘if they’re into it,’ but how am I supposed to know what you’re ‘into,’” Luna continued, beginning to hyperventilate as she panicked. I increased the dosage of sedatives to the maximum I could safely administer.

“Calm. Down. You figure all that stuff out by talking to your partner, which may be part of a conversation we will have later,” I responded sternly, internally amazed at how long Luna could resist my sedatives.

“You’re right, ranting at you isn’t going to solve anything. I just- mmmm.” Luna was interrupted by my lips pressing against hers, my free hand moving to hold her neck affectionately. However, this was an excuse to deposit a measured dose of Buffalo tranquilizer as close to her brain as possible. Luna was asleep in seconds. ‘At least she’ll get some sleep now, Chelly would have a field day if she fell asleep in court.’


Perspective change: Jeffrey
Under Lyra and Bon-Bon’s house


‘I can do this. I have to do this; I only have five more minutes before Mrs Cake sends that letter to Lord Jekyll.’ I activated my hearing to make sure I wouldn’t be interrupting anything, finding nothing I extended a head into the house.

“Hey Jeff, Lyra’s in her room,” Bon-Bon said from the couch, where she was relaxing with the newest ‘Daring Do’ novel.

“Thank you dear, I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly,” I replied.

“You aren’t the one who needs to apologize. And call me Bonnie, everypony does,” Bon-Bon commented, not looking away from her book. I found Lyra on her bed, a sullen look on her face.

“Oh, Hi Jeffrey. I didn’t think you’d want to ever see me again, not after what I did,” Lyra said sadly, her ears and head lowering as she spoke.

“To be honest, I didn’t, but a good friend taught me that I can’t run from my problems. Lyra, I forgive you, but we need to set some ground rules,” I responded as gently as I could, my orders to protect the town and its inhabitants preventing me from being sterner.

“Never again?” Lyra guessed.

“Almost. I was created by Lord Jekyll, and like him and his other creations, my biology precludes me from feelings of intimacy. As such, I didn’t have any way to process your advance towards me,” I replied.

“Thanks, I guess. Still friends?” Lyra asked hopefully.

“Still friends,” I confirmed, “What about you and Bonnie?”

“She only said that to get me to come to my senses, we’ll never get back together and we both know it.”

I crossed the room and wrapped a pair of tendrils around Lyra’s shoulders in my version of a hug. Lyra finally broke down and began crying onto my ‘stem,’ what the locals had named my version of a neck.

“I’m so sorry,” Lyra sobbed.

“Shh, it’s okay honey,” I whispered in her ear, “By the way, I’m more open minded than most bioforms.”

“W-What?” Lyra stammered in shock as she flinched away, I released my hold and let her put some distance between us, “I-Are you serious?”

“Mmm hmm, and I might be willing to indulge you. Occasionally,” I added seductively. Lyra froze and comically tipped backwards onto her pillow.

“Wow, I didn’t expect that. Now I’m the one who doesn’t know how to process this,” Lyra commented to the ceiling.

“No rush dearie, it took me the better part of an hour to get this far.”

“I think I’m okay. Are you going to be busy later? I could really use somepony to talk to, Bon-Bon won’t even look at me right now,” Lyra requested.

“Lyra dear, I don’t think you understand. I basically am Ponyville, I’m holding no less than twenty other conversations right now in addition to clearing out a nest of moles that were getting a little close to Roseluck’s garden.”

“Soo, no?”

“I’ll be here anytime you need someone to talk to,” I clarified.

“Uh, by talk, I meant bang,” Lyra added, I recoiled slightly before catching myself.

“Not today. I’m still mad at you, even if I don’t show it,” I responded.

“That’s fair; I deserve a lot worse.” Lyra relaxed and rolled over onto her stomach before turning to face me. “While you’re here, do you think we could finish that massage?”

“I suppose,” I said in mock complaint, sprouting six more tendrils and beginning to work on the unicorn’s tense muscles.

“Ooh, I swear, if word about this gets out you’ll put Aloe and Lotus out of business,” Lyra moaned.

“Are you two serious? Lyra I get, but you Jeff? What is-” Bonnie shouted angrily as she stormed into the room.

“Hey Bonnie, you ever going to cash in on one of these massages?” Lyra asked innocently.

“Buck it, move over Lyra,” Bonnie said in defeat, crawling onto the bed a few inches away from her roommate. I extended another head on Bonnie’s side of the bed and started working on the muscles in her neck, “Ooooh, you were right Ly. This is way better than anything Quake can do.”

“I know right, I was just saying-yeah like that-I was just saying that we’d better keep this quiet or poor Quake might lose her job,” Lyra added.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, dears; I’m working the knots out of Quake’s forelegs as we speak. Besides, some ponies prefer a rougher massage,” I said with the head closest to Lyra.

“Aloe and I reached an agreement yesterday about the number of free massages I can offer,” I continued with the head closer to Bonnie.

“How many is that?” Bonnie asked curiously. Lyra and I shared a knowing smirk; she had been nearby during the aforementioned discussion.

“Unlimited, my mission is to ensure the townsponies are safe and happy, Aloe and Lotus do not live in town and are therefore not part of this objective. Additionally, I take my orders from Lord Jekyll, I do not, and will not, answer to either Aloe or Lotus Blossom. In short, I told her to go fuck herself,” I replied with both heads in unison. Lyra almost fell off the bed in a fit of laughter, ending up tangled in my tendrils.

“If I wasn’t sure before, I am now. You’re alright Jeff. Not many ponies would tell off Aloe or forgive Lyra; you managed to do both. Bravo,” Bonnie congratulated, knocking her hooves together in applause.

“Thank you, Bonnie, I’m still mad at Lyra however,” I replied, lifting the tangled unicorn but doing nothing to aid in her quest for freedom.

“Didn’t look like an angry massage to me, looked really nice. Could I get the same treatment? My neck feels awesome but I’m ready for you to move on to the rest of me,” Bonnie requested.

“The exact same massage?” She nodded. I leaned down and whispered my plan into her ear, moving the trapped Lyra away to prevent her from hearing. After a moment’s decision, Bonnie nodded again. I spread my tendrils and set to work on her back, legs, and hips, returning Lyra to her previous position and working on her muscles as well.

“What was that about?” Lyra asked, somewhat concerned.

“Just ensuring I wouldn’t make Bonnie uncomfortable, massages are best done when the recipient knows where you will be,” I answered simply, sending a pair of tendrils along the floor and forming a pair of hands behind Lyra and Bonnie, making sure to keep them out of sight. 

A little extra pressure on Bonnie’s shoulders to ask for permission, an almost imperceptible shrug to okay my actions, and the hands descended on their rumps. Lyra instinctively attempted to jump away from the spanking but found herself bound by the same tendrils that had been working the tension out of her back a moment prior.

“Gah, I thought we were cool!” Lyra cried, struggling against her restraints.

“Oh, we are,” I replied softly, the hands transitioning to stroking the two mares, “That was just a little payback for startling me earlier. Now, if you want me to stop and let you go, just say so.”

“Bonnie, did you know about this?” Lyra accused, shivering as the hand on her back moved a little too far towards her tail.

“And more,” Bonnie replied smugly, settling in for her own treatment.

“The situations I get myself into,” Lyra commented, “Okay Jeff, I said I deserved worse, hit me with your best shot.”

“I’m not a torturer, dear, I have no intention of striking you again.” Both mares were flipped onto their backs, the hands moving to caress their stomachs. Before they could get comfortable, however, five more hands descended on each of them, resulting in three pairs gently massaging their necks, shoulders, and stomachs.

“I-I th-thought y-y-you said na-not today?” Lyra asked, her breath catching as another set extended and began massaging their cutie marks.

“Maybe I changed my mind, maybe I’m just teasing you, or maybe, just maybe, I lied,” I purred into her ear.


Sugarcube corner 
A few minutes ago


“It’s done. Lyra and I have reached an arrangement,” I told Mrs. Cake, who had a letter to Lord Jekyll detailing the situation in her teeth threateningly. She set it on the table before replying.

“And what would that be?” She asked tersely.

“Private, between her and I. But I can guarantee that there won’t be any more unwanted advances from Lyra, and I now know the best way to handle these kinds of things in the future,” I responded, reaching for the letter.

“Fine, here you go,” Mrs Cake said, sweeping the paper towards me. The paper slid off the table and landed face up on the ground, revealing it to be blank. 

“Cup, I saw you write a real letter, where is it?” I demanded, calling the baker by her first name for emphasis.

“Ditzy has it.” Mrs Cake admitted.


Outside of Ponyville Library


The baseball bounced off of my head as I failed to catch it.

“You okay Jeff? Need to have another talk with Lyra?” Spike asked, grinning.

“No, that wouldn’t help anymore, I’m afraid. Mrs Cake just killed me,” I replied, my voice distant.

“Woah, hold on. Even I know that’s not something to joke about,” Spike chastised, stepping closer and looking increasingly concerned.

“If only. Spike, it has been an honor to have met you.”

“No way, I’m not giving up that easily and neither should you!” the adolescent dragon cried, attempting to mimic a fighting stance.

“There’s nothing either of us can do, all I have left is to accept my fate with dignity.”


Perspective Change: Jekyll
A few minutes later


I was staring at a familiar grey mare that had somehow managed to evade detection from Abaddon and all of my guards until she made herself known by landing on the cocoon containing Luna and myself.

“Can I help you, Ditzy?” I asked the intruder.

“You’ve got mail,” she replied happily, reaching into her saddlebag and retrieving a letter.

“Thanks. One of the others will get you some bits; I’m a little tied up at the moment,” I offered.

“Thanks, Jay.” She disappeared back into the void, as far as my senses could tell anyway.

“Abaddon?” I asked the walls.

“I have no idea.”

“Don’t worry about it too much; no one knows how Ditzy does anything,” I reassured the Leviathan, “What do we have here?”



Dear Jekyll,

Jeffrey had an incident with Lyra earlier today, but he was rather vague about what happened. I can tell it upset him, however, and now he’s terrified you’re going to ‘recycle’ him. I want to clarify that nopony was physically harmed, but I believe Jeffrey has been sexually assaulted by Lyra. Something having to do with hands, from what Jeffrey has told me. I think what he needs most right now is a familiar face to tell him everything will be alright. As I understand Jeffrey’s origins, you are his father. That makes this your responsibility, but neither I nor the rest of Ponyville would appreciate you taking away our newest friend. Please respond quickly, poor Jeffrey is beginning to pace in my kitchen.


Regards,
Mrs Cup Cake




“Why the hell do my own people think I’m some kind of bloodthirsty monster?” I asked no one, generally curious.

“Shall I set course for Ponyville?” Abaddon asked, a secondary head appearing over my shoulder.

“Might as well, I’ll have my chair brought on board while we’re there.”

“Was my attempt at creating a replacement inadequate?” Abaddon inquired, his voice betraying a feeling of shame.

“No, it just wasn’t the same. I miss my chair, you know,” I replied.

“I see, you seek a feeling of familiarity in these times of great change,” Abaddon noted.

“Sometimes I wonder about you, Abaddon. You keep dropping these nuggets of wisdom, and no one will believe you’re just a hulking war machine,” I warned.

“We should arrive in approximately five minutes,” Abaddon replied, ignoring my statement.

“I’m going to fly ahead, adjust your course for my old cabin.”

“Understood, sir,” Abaddon responded as the floor shifted slightly. I untangled myself from Luna’s grasping forelegs and made my way outside, taking flight towards the small town as soon as it was in sight.

Jeffrey, Spike, and Mrs Cake were waiting for me when I landed, all of them with different expressions. Jeffrey was obviously terrified but trying to appear stoic, Spike let his anger towards me show freely, and Mrs Cake wore her hopeful expression like armor.

“Jeff, you okay?” I asked in an uneasy attempt to break the ice.

“I won’t let you hurt him!” Spike shouted as he charged and began punching fruitlessly at my legs.

“Yes sir, the situation has been resolved,” Jeffrey replied, looking fearfully at Spike’s actions.

“You’ve made quite an impression with the locals, I’m impressed,” I continued, ignoring the war of my right knee.

“Thank you, sir, they have been very welcoming,” Jeffrey noted formally.

“Let’s drop the pleasantries, shall we? I’m not going to recycle you, Jeff, you’ve proven a valuable member of both my forces and this community. Spike’s attempt to protect you testifies to your importance to him, as I’m sure that he knows I’ve eaten fully grown dragons,” I announced, throwing a glance to the stunned dragon.

“Called it,” Mrs Cake commented quietly to Jeffrey.

“Furthermore, when have I ever recycled anything that wasn’t cripplingly malformed?” I pressed, staring into Jeffrey’s eyes.

“Never,” the Leviathan answered quietly.

“Then why, out of all the enforcers and leviathans I have running around, would I start with you? Jeff, you’re two hundred and eight years old, you shouldn’t be afraid of me deciding to kill you.”

“I just thought, if I couldn’t handle one mare-” Jeffrey started before I cut him off.

“One aggressive mare. Towards you. And you say you’ve handled the situation. Please, share with the class. I’m dying to know how, ‘cause I sure as shit don’t have a clue,” I interrogated, Jeffrey began to look uneasy.

“For the love of Celestia’s dusty cunt, would you bucking rut me already!” a voice echoed through the town. I noticed a few young ponies being ushered indoors by their parents in an attempt to escape the talk.

“Jeffrey, what was that?” I asked dangerously.

“Revenge,” the Leviathan replied simply. I fought to maintain my composure.

“That simple, huh?” I commented, wondering how to apply this new strategy.

“No sir, revenge for her unexpected behavior earlier. I came to the conclusion that humoring her would be the best method of preventing further incidents, as I will only have to do so until she has found a proper mate or died of old age,” Jeffrey responded, shocking Mrs Cake and Spike.

“Seems logical to me, if a little heartless. But there go my hopes of mimicking your methods; I’m already doing the same thing,” I said disappointedly.

“Really? Somepony actually likes you?” Spike asked with a negative amount of tact.

“Spike, don’t be rude. That’s Princess Luna you’re talking about,” Mrs Cake admonished, my head spun toward where she was standing.

“What?”

“It’s been all over the papers for weeks now, Everypony knows about Juna,” Mrs Cake replied like this was obvious.

“I don’t get out much, and I will neither confirm nor deny your assumption,” I responded diplomatically.

“You don’t have to, you’re in every picture the news has taken of the princess.”

“I’m her bodyguard and physician, it’s my job to be nearby.”

“And she has moved onto that thing that’s been looming over Canterlot.”

“There were assassination attempts, it is much safer inside Abaddon.”

“Reasonable excuses so far, but how do you explain the photo of the two of you sleeping together?” Mrs. Cake challenged, a knowing smirk on her face. I sighed.

“It isn’t my place to say-” I began.

“But it is mine,” Luna interrupted as she landed next to me, “Ever since I have been cleansed of the Nightmare’s corruption, I have been plagued with terrible dreams. I have found Jay’s presence comforting and requested his aid in suppressing these nightmares.”

“Of course, Princess. I didn’t mean any disrespect,” Mrs Cake said, bowing. Spike lowered his head as well; Jeffrey, however, was under orders not to bow to anyone, including me.

“When did you wake up?” I asked.

“Right after you stopped suppressing my ability to do so,” Luna answered without looking at me.

“You knew then,” I noted.

“Obviously, you are not nearly as sneaky as you think,” Luna criticized before granting me a small smile, “A few hours of forced sleep is better than none at all, however.”

“This is another of those times when you are supposed to be mad at me,” I pointed out.

“I’m done doing what I’m ‘supposed’ to do, it has only brought me misery,” Luna spat, “Why are you two still bowing? Show some self-respect and stand up already.”

“Lu, calm down. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but that was a little harsh,” I said in disapproval.

“My apologies, it has been an emotional day.”

“Did Jekyll confess his love for you, dear?” Mrs Cake asked as she rose, Spike visibly gagged at the thought.

“I don’t work that way.”

“He doesn’t work that way.”

“We don’t work that way.” Mrs Cake looked thoughtfully at me, Luna, and Jeffrey in turn.

“Horseapples, it just took you so long to find the right mare that you forgot how,” Mrs Cake challenged, walking up to me defiantly.

“If you knew anything about me you’d know that I remember everything,” I shot back, my temper flaring as memories of friends long passed rose to the surface of my mind.

“Your brain and your heart are not the same thing!”

“I don’t have a fucking heart!” I shouted. I reached up to my chest and tore it open, exposing a solid mass of raw flesh were my organs were supposed to be.

“It’s a metaphor you dolt!”

“You don’t deserve to call me stupid. I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever learn!”

“You just said that you remember everything.”

“You know nothing, Cup Cake!” Luna forced her way between the two of us, holding me back with a hoof.

“Cup Cake, I’m inclined to agree with you, but antagonizing Jay will not help him. Jay, making a scene in the middle of Ponyville isn’t doing your reputation any favors,” Luna said sternly, causing both of us to back off.

“Sorry Cup, I really am trying,” I relented.

“I’m sorry too dear, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that,” Mrs Cake replied.

“Wonderful. Now, would someone tell me why we are in Ponyville,” Luna demanded.

“I wanted my chair, Cup gave me a good excuse to come get it,” I admitted, Jeffrey looked relieved that I hadn’t traveled here just to deal with him, the others looked offended.

“Are you BUCKING SERIOUS!” Mrs Cake screamed despite Jeffrey’s attempts to stop her.

“Yeah, Jeff’s awesome, why would you do that to him?” Spike added angrily.

“Jeff, what was your fear based on?” I asked, ignoring the pony and dragon for the moment.

“You thinking I couldn’t take care of myself, sir,” Jeffrey answered dutifully.

“And by using your problem in this manner…” I began.

“You have shown your confidence in me. Thank you, sir,” Jeffrey finished. Spike and Mrs Cake were speechless for a moment.

“You’re all crazy, I’m out,” Spike declared, turning towards the town.

“Wait for me dear, I think I have a ruby and sapphire cupcake with your name on it back in Sugarcube Corner. My treat,” Mrs Cake said as she caught up to the retreating dragon.

“Sir, you wanted to know my methods for dealing with Lyra?” Jeffrey asked, offering a tendril. I ignored this and sent one of my own through his head. Luna jumped away from the violent action.

“I’m the one who establishes a neural link,” I growled in explanation as I viewed all of Jeffrey’s memories in a manner of seconds. Jeffrey, in turn, convulsed under the strain, his mind overloaded by the power I commanded in my bioforms. I retracted the tendril when I was satisfied that he wasn’t trying to hide anything.

“Jay, why did you do that?” Luna asked in horror.

“To be sure. I can’t be everywhere, Jeff can. I needed to know everything he’s seen in the last two hundred years to make sure there wasn’t some clue that I missed,” I responded.

“Happy to help,” Jeffrey said weakly from the ground, having collapsed when I withdrew my tendril.

“Is it always so horrible to watch?” Luna continued.

I nodded, “They always seize when I take over. Though now I have to wonder, did all of your heads convulse like that?”

“Yes sir, there are many in town that are now worried about my health. And two that are not yet aware that it wasn’t intentional,” Jeff replied, returning to his former stature.

“I bet,” I commented, chuckling lightly.

“What are you laughing about? Have I missed something?” Luna asked in confusion.

“Tell you what, if that conversation we need to have goes your way, I’ll show you,” I offered, Luna took a moment to figure out what I was implying before her face reddened and she teleported away.

“Well, catch you around Jeff, I’m going back to Abaddon to make fun of Luna,” I announced, my wings forming and spreading. Jeffrey nodded and sunk into the ground, leaving no trace that he was ever there. I returned to Abaddon’s back a couple of minutes later and left orders with a Romeo squad to transport my belongings into a storage room as soon as Abaddon had arrived at my cabin.

As I made my way down the hallway that led to Luna’s room and, presumably, the target of her teleport, I noticed an unusual amount of pheromones hanging in the air. The sight that greeted me when I opened the door left only one thought in my mind. ‘I bet the Kraken’s don’t have to deal with this kind of shit.’


Perspective Change: Kraken-One
Somewhere off Equestria’s eastern coast


“Confirmed contact! Request immediate assistance!” Three shouted.

“Roger Three. Five and Six, that’s you. Two, what’s your status?” I replied, maneuvering to intercept Three’s position.

“Three-One clipped a reef on her way out. I’m currently engaged in keeping them afloat. Good hunting.”

“Understood, how many are we looking at Three?” I asked.

“Four, for now, they’ve got shamans on deck teleporting them in,” Three responded.

“Can you engage?”

“Negative, they hit The Bustler. I’ve got confirmed casualties from ranged weapons.” 

“Roger, I’ll be there in thirty. Five? Six?”

“In your wake, they won’t know what hit them,” Six replied.

“Four?”

“I’m out of range, give them a good thrashing for me.”

“Let us make Lord Jekyll proud my brothers!” Five cheered as we converged on the, now ten, enemy warships. Being the closest, I had the first choice of targets. I chose the largest to be the target of my wrath and slammed my armored head through the hull so hard both the capital ship and myself were launched into the air. I released an ear-splitting roar as I fell and angled myself to land on a cruiser, crushing the small vessel under my weight. 

I saw Five and Six tearing through three ships apiece as I reoriented myself to rend the last two. However, the remains of the capital ship landed on the one closest to me and the pressure wave allowed the last one to teleport away.

“Nine kills out of ten, a fine victory.”

“Having fun, Five?” Six asked, rumbling with laughter.

“Cut the chatter. How are the civvies, Three?” I asked.

“Two dead, the rest on The Bustler are severely wounded and the ship is crippled. The others sustained minor injuries and damage, they’re more shaken than hurt.”

“Understood, you know what to do. Five, you can gloat now,” I permitted.

“Ha, didn’t you know that here there be monsters ye feathered bastards!” Five yelled, sticking his head above water and speaking common to ensure his message would be understood.

“There were zebras as well,” Six commented.

“Next time I’ll shove those totems up yer arses, ya dirty stripes!” Five added.

“And minotaurs.”

“That’s enough, you’ve made your point,” I said, cutting the two off.

“Your mothers suck cocks in hell!” Five yelled to the horizon before returning to the rest of us, “Okay, I’m done.”

“Right. Get back into position; we need to be ready for their next attack,” I ordered, expecting our enemies to keep their distance for a long time after a defeat of this magnitude.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Luna’s room, inside of Abaddon


“GET OUT! GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!” Luna screamed as I opened the door.

“What’cha doin,” I asked as I walked past her and stopped to ponder a better way to construct Podrick. Something made of rubber bounced off the side of my head, I grew eyebrows and raised one at Luna, “Really?”

“Out,” she ordered, pointing a hoof at the, still open, door.

“Can’t leave, busy,” I replied, sending a tendril into the cocoon.

“And this justifies barging in unannounced?” Luna demanded.

“It’s my Leviathan; I don’t have to knock,” I stated.

“It’s still rude, or has that changed in the last thousand years?” Luna countered.

“Depends on who you ask,” I replied easily, “You should have heard Lily when Lucky walked in on her.”

“Oh, no.”

“Yep, Lucky offered to help.”

“By the moon and stars, shut up,” Luna pleaded.

“I don’t think I will. Want to know what Lyra was doing while I was poking around Jeff’s memories?”

“Bye,” Luna said, attempting to leave the room only for the door to slam shut before she could reach it.

“Abaddon, let me out,” Luna ordered the door.

“I’m sorry ma’am, Lord Jekyll has ordered me to prevent anyone from entering or leaving that room until told otherwise,” Abaddon replied apologetically. Luna turned to glare at me, finding my other hand merged with the wall to silently issue my commands.

“Am I a prisoner now?”

“I promised you a conversation, I assumed you would prefer it took place somewhere private.”

“That conversation? Jay, I don’t think I’m ready for that conversation,” Luna said, her eyes widening.

“You’ll never be, not with that attitude,” I replied before sighing, “Luna, I get it. You’ve been bound by rules and trapped in your sister’s shadow for so long that you never got to be yourself. Now that I’ve forced the world to give you that freedom, you don’t know what to do.”

“Jay?” I finished my work on Podrick and sat down on the cocoon, which now resembled a mattress complete with sheets.

“But you’re going too fast. You’re rushing to experience as much as possible before it can be taken away again, but it won’t be. You can take the time to slow down and savor every new experience, just because I act on new information very quickly doesn’t mean you have to as well,” I continued, patting the bed next to me invitingly. Luna accepted and sat down.

“You aren’t going to rush me?”

“Never, though I will certainly tease you relentlessly. That’s just who I am,” I replied. Luna let out a breath and allowed herself to fall backwards onto the bed.

“From what I learned during Lucky’s little class, I don’t think I’m into pistachio or Arnold,” Luna declared, then looked at me curiously when I burst out laughing, “What? I’m being serious.”

“Okay then, I’ll make sure to get rid of any nuts and people named Arnold,” I replied, still laughing.

“Damnit, you know what I mean,” Luna giggled, catching her mistake. I fell backwards as well and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

“Yeah, I know what you meant. I’m up for pretty much anything that doesn’t involve fire,” I replied.

“That just leaves being comfortable enough with each other to actually…” Luna trailed off.

“Like I said, all the time in the world. Two immortals aren’t going to grow old waiting on each other to be ready.”

“We had the talk, I didn’t think I could do it,” Luna breathed, stretching, ”It wasn’t even as awkward as I thought it would be.”

“I think you’ll find that most things are more awkward in your mind than in practice,” I noted. Luna looked at me for a second and then rolled over, so she was straddling my torso, her head directly above mine.

“Then how about right now?” Luna suggested, smiling widely, “You’re always right. So if you say that it isn’t weird or uncomfortable, then I’ll believe you.”

“Are you sure? Are you really sure you want to do this? Once you cross that line, there’s no going back,” I asked, Luna’s smile faltered.

“No, I’m not sure,” she replied, collapsing on me.

“It’s all right,” I said, wrapping my arms around her, “Perhaps one day, perhaps never, either way, there’s no shame in it.”

“But I did. The bishop said we had sex. Why is it so hard now?” Luna asked, her frustrated tears threatening to spill out.

“Because you’re sober, alcohol strips away your inhibitions. That’s why some call it ‘liquid courage,’” I replied, “But you shouldn’t depend on drinking to be happy, you should find a way to be happy with who you are right now.”

“Someday I’m going to stop crying on you,” Luna commented with a smile, even as a single tear worked its way down her cheek.

“Let me get that for you,” I said, pulling Luna close and licking the side of her head to erase any evidence that a tear had ever been there. Luna shivered at the contact.

“Jay, is it weird that that just made the ‘into it’ list?” Luna asked.

“Everyone’s different. As long as I can avoid pain, I just go with the flow. You won’t get any judgment from me,” I replied.

“I assume this is another topic to keep from Tia?”

“Up to you. I try to avoid your sister as much as possible. But if you want to tell her you’ve shacked up with her greatest enemy, I won’t stop you.”

“Can you imagine her face though?” Luna giggled.

“If you do tell her, I want to get it on camera. Then I’m going to frame it and hang it right over there,” I said, pointing at a blank stretch of wall.

“Ha. That would be perfect, wouldn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it’d come with a whole host of problems though. Probably not the best thing to do right now, we should wait until the war is over,” I suggested.

“I agree, the public backlash alone would cripple our reputations,” Luna replied before falling silent. Twenty minutes had passed before Luna spoke again, “I’m bored, are you bored?”

“I relive happy memories during times like these. I don’t have to worry about tomorrow, I’m comfortable, I’m happy. This will be one for the ages,” I explained contentedly.

“Well I can’t do that, and there’s still at least eight hours until I have to be at court,” Luna complained, rising to her hooves and hopping off the bed.

“You could get some sleep,” I suggested, Luna began to pace, deep in thought for several more minutes.

“Abaddon, is the door still locked?” Luna asked, breaking her silence.

“No ma’am,” Abaddon replied.

“Please do so, then. I have an idea.”

“Sir?” Abaddon asked.

“Go ahead,” I confirmed, curious as to what Luna was thinking. 

“And no peeking,” Luna added.

“Abby, close off your senses in this room. If you need to contact me, do so with a secondary lacking eyes,” I ordered, “What are you planning?”

“You’ve heard of trust exercises?” I nodded. “I’ve devised a comfort exercise, all you need to do is be in the room. You don’t even have to pay attention...”
> Chapter 11: Karma
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sleeping on my back is not a comfort exercise!” I complained as Luna and I walked onto the deck so she could raise the moon.

“I’ll say, you make a terrible bed,” Luna agreed, popping her back as she readied her magic.

“I fucking bet. I offer to add some blisters but nooo, you want to sleep on rock hard chitin,” I continued.

“Enough, I have plenty of cramps to dissuade me from trying that again,” Luna grumbled as the sun set behind her and the moon rose.

“Sir, if I may have a moment?” a Mike asked from behind me.

“Damn! You trying to get into the Spooks?” I yelped as I spun into a defensive position.

“No sir, I simply have a message from the Krakens for you,” the mike replied, catching my attention as Luna was fixated on a star that was out of place.

“Report,” I ordered, turning serious.

“They have engaged a small fleet of enemy warships six miles off our coast. One enemy vessel managed to escape before it could be destroyed, Kraken-One reports the use of ranged weaponry by the enemy forces,” the Mike relayed.

“Elaborate,” I commanded, realizing that I had never finished my design for a biological ranged weapon.

“According to Kraken-Three, the enemy opened fire with weapons similar to the one you designed a few weeks ago, though firing a single large projectile. They also possessed smaller versions wielded by individual gryphons and minotaurs, both weapon types required reloading after a single shot,” the Mike explained. My form unconsciously became more bestial, causing the Mike to back away.

“Abby, get me the captain of Sierra division. NOW!” I raged at my own ineptitude. The Sierra was violently dropped at my feet as I finished my statement.

“Ab-” The head of my science division was interrupted by my claw wrapping around his throat and lifting him to my face.

“Ranged weapons. Don’t care how. Go,” I growled before dropping the Sierra into Abaddon’s waiting tendrils, which transported him back to wherever he came from.

“Sir, are you-” the Mike began.

“An idiot? Clearly. I never made anything that could fight at further than arm’s length, and now we’re playing catch-up for the first time in our history. Holy FUCK, I’m so stupid,” I said as I knocked my head against the only vertical structure, the doorway into Abaddon’s internal structure.

“Jay, calm down. It isn’t like they could harm you anyway,” Luna pointed out, still working on fixing the wayward star.

“I’m not worried about myself. I’m terrified that Lucky or any of her daughters or you will be in their sights,” I admitted, my form returning to its normal state as I began pacing.

“Sir, Kraken-One is also requesting an additional four members for his team. He says that the reason any ships escaped is that only half of the Krakens were able to respond,” the Mike added.

“I see, have Tzu manage the order. Scratch that, I want two more squads backing them up. And have them leave one surviving vessel every time the enemy tries to run, just so they don’t forget my name,” I ordered with an evil grin, stopping my pacing.

“It’s times like this that make me wonder if you actually are as evil as Tia says,” Luna commented.

“Hmm, I have an idea on how to measure that,” I responded, “What would you call a creature that eats ponies?”

“A monster,” Luna replied easily.

“What about one that eats monsters?”

“A bigger monster. Is there a point to this?”

“Yes. And the thing that eats the bigger monsters?”

“A demon, which you are not,” Luna said pointedly.

“What do you call a creature that feasts on the mightiest of demons with impunity?” I asked, reaching the end of my line of questions.

“I don’t know. A dark god, maybe?” Luna guessed.

“I’m no god. Though you could make the ‘dark’ argument,” I said, looking at one of my pitch black hands.

“You eat demons? How in the name of the moon don’t you have magic?” Luna asked, flabbergasted.

“I have some. I use gryphon magic to help me fly, after all. But they were all really specific in their capabilities, I doubt I’ll ever have a need for undead goats or pony-dragon hybrids,” I replied, shrugging.

“You killed Tirek?” Luna gasped, awestruck.

“There were two actually, I killed the big one and the little one ran off. Never did find him again. Oh well, seemed like a chump anyway,” I corrected as Abaddon brought my chair up and I sat down.

“I don’t recall a second Tirek, perhaps it is a family name. Either way, that is quite the accomplishment,” Luna praised, walking over to where I sat.

“I. Am. Not. A. Pony. He couldn’t do anything to me, it was basically murder. Or lunch, depending on your perspective.”

“Oh, right. I suppose that would give you an advantage over my parents,” Luna replied sheepishly.

“Your folks caught him? At least they did something right,” I said grudgingly, not wanting to think of Luna’s parents in a positive light.

“I don’t want to talk about my parents either. What else can you do?” Luna pressed.

“Not much. Enslave people’s minds, steal shadows, diabolical shit like that,” I rattled off. Luna nodded as she climbed into my lap to rest her head on my shoulder, pinning my left arm under her as she did so.

“So when you say you don’t have magic, you mean anything useful to you,” she noted.

“More like anything I would actually use,” I corrected, “I’d love to be able to use telekinesis or teleportation, that’d be the tits.”

“Those are the most useful spells for everyday use, even if I don’t know what ‘tits’ is,” Luna agreed.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” I teased.

“I’m older than you, you jerk,” Luna countered as she punched lightly at my shoulder.

“Sir, Sierra-One-One is on his way to your position with their newest prototype,” Abaddon informed, sprouting from the deck to speak and disappearing immediately after.

“Thanks, Abby.”

“Why did he leave so quickly?” Luna asked, confused by the leviathan’s actions.

“He knows I’m onto him, acting all dumb when he’s actually really smart,” I answered.

“Why would he do that?” Luna pressed.

“So it can seem even better when he does something awesome. Too bad I’ve seen that trick before,” I replied, speaking up so Abaddon would know who I was talking to. The Sierra in question emerged from the doorway shortly after.

“Sir, I believe you will want to see this,” the Sierra I had mistreated earlier called as he ran towards me with a disgusting looking tube in his hands. As he neared I was able to view the object in greater detail without having to alter my eyes, recognizing the weapon my science team had apparently reinvented.

“Seriously?” I asked blankly when the enforcer reached me, allowing me to take the weapon in my free hand and inspect the sharp spines near the barrel. The weapon followed our typical color scheme of black with red accents but lacked the sleek design the rest of my creations possessed, instead having a patch of stringy spines where the user’s other hand would be placed and random spikes sticking off of it.

“Yes sir, we were actually already working on this project and were nearing completion of the first prototype when you made it a priority. We have you to thank for the propulsion system, ma’am. While Lord Jekyll may not like the term ‘Breeders,’ it was the inspiration for the system,” the Sierra explained proudly. Luna looked at the weapon like she suspected it of conspiring to eat her liver that night.

“Sierra-One-One, what are we?”

“You are Lord Jekyll and we are your enforcers.”

“More general, what is our species?”

“Blacklight, sir,” the enforcer replied dutifully.

“Not Tyranid?” I asked, lifting the weapon.

“I don’t know what a Tyranid is, but I’m certain we bear no resemblance,” the Sierra replied, confused.

“Then why did you bring me a ‘Nid weapon, this is an Impaler Cannon,” I challenged, internally remembering the days I spent going through the Tyranid codex for some strategy to beat Jerry’s Space Wolves. 

“You don’t like it?”

“I’m just messing with you, I love it!” I declared, linking with the weapon and firing several shots into the nearby mountain, “Quieter than I would have thought, and smaller than it’s supposed to be. Start working on some larger variations too, I think it’d be funny to fire more, how to put this, dangerous ammunition at the enemy.”

“How much larger, sir?” the Sierra asked, not catching the hint.

“You got this from a fragment of my memories, they same way you all know how to talk. That means this fires living projectiles, correct?”

“Yes sir, and we’ve developed a few different types.”

“Cool, but I’m thinking on a much higher scale of fuckery,” I said with an evil grin towards the enforcer, the enforcer nodded after a moment and returned the look as he figured out what I was implying.

“Right away, sir. Should they be mounted on Abaddon?”

“Put them under his head, it’ll match the fictional creature that helped inspire him. Plus I have some plans for his abdomen, let the Bravos know I’ll be stopping by at some point,” I replied, considering the conversation over and returning my attention to Luna as I held my new prize.

“What is that horrid thing?” Luna asked, disgusted. I smiled as I hefted the twelve pound weapon easily.

“A freshly leveled playing field,” I answered, propping the weapon against my chair and releasing my grip.

“And you need bigger ones because?”

“You can never have enough dakka.”

“What the fuck, Jay? Are you ever going to give me a straight answer?”

“All your base are belong to us,” I declared, receiving a swipe to the back of my head for my trouble, “Fine, it comes from my heritage as an American. We believed in peace through superior firepower for very a long time, they still might.”

“I still don’t like that ugly weapon, couldn’t you carry a respectable weapon?” Luna pressed.

“I’ll still have my sword, and I’ll have them make me a smaller version. Something more sleek and presentable,” I relented.

“If you insist on carrying one of these things, I guess that will suffice,” Luna agreed, shifting to face the same direction I was.

“Hey Luna, do you think you could check on the seals holding the Crystal Kingdom in stasis?” I requested somberly.

“Not here, but from the North Tower I should be able to sense them. Tia said it’s where the palace mages are based, they’ll have range boosting runes I can use,” Luna replied, looking in the direction of where my old home was supposed to be.

“That’s why I didn’t kill her, you know. She said they’d come back, that they weren’t dead, that she was alive.”

“She?”

“Long story, I’ll tell you another time.”

“Fine. You aren’t pressuring me, so I won’t push this. Just-when you’re ready, okay?” Luna allowed, leaning against me in an attempt to be comforting. It worked.

“My adopted daughter, Celestia promised me that she was still alive. Well, indirectly,” I admitted, causing Luna to nearly fall out of the chair in shock.

“Wow, no wonder you hate her so much,” Luna said distantly.

“I still don’t know if she was lying or not, I don’t have the ability to feel the seals myself,” I continued.

“Let’s go, right now. I can’t stand the thought of you suffering like this any longer,” Luna suggested, dropping out of the chair and spreading her wings.

“Fair warning. If Celestia lied about this, I’ll tear that fucking castle apart to find her,” I cautioned as I stood and formed my own wings, grabbing my new weapon and absorbing it as I did so.

We flew off without another word, reaching the tower and entering in silence. There wasn’t anything to say, we each knew what we had to do and the possible consequences of actions taken long ago. We were briefly accosted by a small group of mages, that found themselves either teleported behind us or flung into nearby rooms by my tendrils, as we walked to the main casting room. Once we entered, I blocked the magic of the unicorn using the runes and Luna used her magic to move her out of the way. Luna walked into the center of the runes and began preparing her magic, her eyes darkening as she concentrated. After a few seconds, she closed her eyes and readied herself to release her spell.

The glow on Luna’s horn flared before disappearing, “Tia spoke truly, though she has not aided you as well as she could have.”

“How?” I asked, sitting down in relief.

“The seals were quite weak. A little push, and they have been weakened further. You need only wait a few more months to see your friends and family again. Tia would have had you wait another decade,” Luna explained.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” I said apologetically.

“No thanks is necessary, this should never have been necessary. I intend to have words with my dear sister,” Luna replied.

“She should be stuffing her face right now,” I recalled.

“Then I shall head to the cafeteria. You may join me if you wish, though I would caution you against attacking her openly. There will be a great number of guards and workers that might get hurt,” Luna warned, her quiet rage clearly visible on her face. I rested a claw on her neck, careful not to cut her.

“They know better than to hang around,” I responded, my anger growing to match Luna’s. We walked to the nearest window and I attempted to open it. Finding that it didn’t open, I kicked the frame out of the wall and jumped out of the hole. Luna followed and joined my search for the white alicorn.

“Got her, she’s in her room,” I announced, Luna teleported away mid flight and rematerialized in Celestia’s room. I maneuvered to land on the wall above the largest window so I could listen in.

“What have you done?” Luna accused.

“Are you the food police now too, Luna? I can have a slice of cake if I wish.” Shattering ceramic could be heard.

“I don’t care about your diet! Why did you attack the Crystal Kingdom?” Luna demanded, her voice growing louder. I heard the door open, “Get the fuck out!”

“Luna! Such language, and where is your crown?” I heard Celestia ask arrogantly.

“Don’t change the subject, I left that pointless trinket behind weeks ago. Tell me why you launched an attack on the Crystal Kingdom,” Luna pressed.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.” I heard the sound of a hoof striking a face. “Ow! You-you can’t do that! Guards, arrest her! She’s clearly falling to the darkness again, I’ll need to summon the Elements quickly to prevent another appearance of Nightmare Moon.”

I chose that moment to strike. Shattering the window, I dove at the guards attempting to restrain Luna, “Boo.”

The guards balked and retreated a few steps, hesitant to face off against me. I added another pair of arms and stalked towards Celestia as she tripped and attempted to scramble away, sending fireballs in my direction as she crawled. I tanked the ones that managed to hit and allowed the dead flesh to slide off as new material filled the space.

“Jay, hold,” Luna called as I raised a claw to remove Celestia’s horn, I lowered my arm in response but remained within striking distance.

“Pet,” Celestia mocked, confident that I wouldn’t harm her. In response I placed my foot on her leg and dug my clawed toes into her flank. Celestia screamed in surprise and pain.

“That’s for hurting Abaddon earlier,” I explained. I forced my heel downward, snapping her leg, “That one’s for me. I am no one’s pet, learn it well.”

“Jay! That’s enough! Tia, I suggest you answer my questions before he decides to keep going,” Luna cried, rushing over and attempting to dislodge me from Celestia’s broken leg.

“Alright, just get this thing off of me,” Celestia begged, all traces of her previous confidence gone.

“No,” I replied simply, increasing the pressure slightly to make my point.

“I had them attacked because Sombra was preparing to invade!” Celestia screamed, I stopped pressing on her broken leg but kept my foot in place.

“A preemptive strike?” Luna asked, confused.

“No he wasn’t, where did you get that information from?” I argued.

“It was an anonymous tip,” Celestia snarked. The pressure returned with almost twice as much force, bones beginning to press against the inside of her skin, “It was! I swear, I don’t know who sent the message!”

“You attacked my home over hearsay? You let me believe my friends were dead over that!” I raged.

“Sister, that seems like a poor excuse,” Luna pointed out with a false calmness.

“He had monsters! My spies said so!”

“He offered a refuge for those rejected by society, like me,” I growled.

“Yes, like you. Monstrous beings that torture others for their amusement,” Celestia accused. I removed my foot from her leg and settled for glaring at her.

“Outcasts and rejects. He made a home for the second sons and those unfortunate souls with birth defects,” I countered.

“It was a risk I couldn’t take,” Celestia reasoned.

“No, it was a coward’s decision,” Luna declared.

“Says the accident.” Celestia screamed again as I kicked lightly at her crushed leg.

“You won’t talk to her like that again,” I warned.

“Guards, are you listening?” Luna asked without looking.

“Yes, your highness,” one of the guards replied.

“You are all to go to a different newspaper company and tell them what was said here tonight. If they want to confirm your story, send them to me during my night court hours or on the hulking creature next to the city during the day,” she ordered, never breaking eye contact with Celestia.

“Might as well usurp me completely and take my student as well,” Celestia grumbled, managing to stand on her three undamaged legs.

“A fine idea. Jay, would you be opposed to a prolonged stay in Ponyville?” Luna proposed with a smile.

“Getting to hang out in my old stomping grounds? Count me in,” I agreed.

“If you need me, I’ll be getting this bandaged,” Celestia said as she attempted to hobble away.

“I’m not quite finished with you, sister,” Luna replied, moving to block Celestia’s path. Luna was frozen in a golden aura and tossed through the broken window before she could complete the action, however.

“Oh, Chelly. Now what could possibly possess you to get rid of the only person stopping me from taking your head off right now?” I said threateningly, taking the position Luna failed to accomplish.

“You won’t kill me,” Celestia responded confidently.

“He would. You took away his daughter,” Luna called as she teleported back into the room. Celestia froze.

“I-really? This whole time, it’s been about some brat?” Celestia asked, beginning to laugh.

“Tia, I’m not joking. I really think Jay will tear you apart if you don’t stop,” Luna warned, watching my form enter its bestial variant and my second set of claws reform into blades.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that I always thought you were Sombra’s concubine or something,” Celestia commented.

“What?” I asked, my body returning to normal as my rage was replaced with confusion.

“Why else would you react so strongly to his death, if you weren’t lovers?” Celestia pressed.

“Did you do any research before you wiped it off the map? I was a Legate in the Order of Iron, my fucking job was to protect that city,” I informed her.

“They must have been desperate, letting you into their ranks,” Celestia replied mockingly.

“Tia, I’m beginning to wonder if this is a suicide attempt,” Luna commented.

“Whatever it is, count me out,” I replied, turning towards the broken window.

“Agreed. Sister, if you want to die so badly, there are plenty of sharp objects on the floor,” Luna added condescendingly as she followed me out.

“Do you think I went too far back there?” I asked once I was sure there weren’t any ponies around to hear.

“Oh, no. We alicorns heal quite quickly, she’ll be fine by Thursday.”

“Luna, today’s Tuesday,” I pointed out.

“I know, there was a calendar in the mage’s tower.”

“Impressive, maybe I should have gone for the full compound fracture,” I commented.

“That’d be too far, she still feels pain,” Luna countered as we landed on the balcony closest to the courtroom.

“Yeah, good point,” I agreed.

“She did raise a good question though. Were you and Sombra lovers?” Luna asked jokingly, dodging a lazy swipe from my left claw.

“No, and I shouldn’t even have to answer that,” I replied.

“Homophobic much?”

“I can’t be homophobic if I don’t have a gender,” I pointed out defensively, pushing open the door to the courtroom.

“Really? How many stallions have you been with then?”

“The same amount you have, zero.”

“And how many mares have you slept with?”

“Again, zero.”

“Wrong, you’ve been invited into my bed several times. You haven’t refused my charms yet.”

“Har har. How long till you notice the benches?” I asked, turning the joke around.

“What about them?” Luna countered.

“They’re occupied,” I said with a grin. Luna’s head shot around to look at the stunned ponies.

“Uh, you didn’t hear anything,” Luna stumbled.

“I did,” a young colt near the front called.

“I suppose all of you want to know what that was about?” Luna asked sheepishly as she took her place on the throne. I followed her there and stood defensively to her right. There was a collective nod and Luna sighed before giving me a pleading glance.

“Princess Luna is still recovering from her imprisonment within Nightmare Moon, this has manifested itself as chronic nightmares. I have offered her my services as her friend and bodyguard to help her sleep soundly, a right many of you take for granted. What you heard was the banter of good friends twisting an innocent situation for the sake of entertainment,” I explained in my best lawyer impression.

“Like we’d believe that!” a voice shouted from the back of the room.

“You are entitled to your opinion, but my friend here has spoken truly,” Luna replied easily, her face becoming a mask of confidence and serenity.

“Would the first petitioner please step forward,” I called to the room, ending any possibility of further heckling. Fancy Pants was first pony to walk towards the throne.

“Hello again my friends, I don’t actually have a request for the crown but I’d like to invite the two of you to attend as my guests at the party tomorrow night.” Fancy said.

“The gardens creep me out, I’ll only go if I get to bring a fuckton of my guards,” I replied.

“I for one would be delighted to attend, I haven’t been invited to a real party in living memory,” Luna answered with a glare in my direction.

“Splendid, I’ll make sure there are places for the two of you at the main table. Though if you’d indulge me Mister Jekyll, why do you even have guards?” Fancy responded gleefully.

“It makes sense. Why should I fight alone when I can have a literal army watching my back? In practice however, they act as a deterrent for anything dumb enough to try to attack me,” I explained with a shrug.

“I have a theory that they were created so he would have someone to talk to,” Luna added.

“I suppose if you feel the added protection is necessary, I won’t complain about it. I’ll see you there. Farewell, my friends,” Fancy said as he withdrew to allow the next pony to step forward. The night passed slowly as each pony made their case and received an answer until a single hooded figure remained in the back row.

“You there, do you have a request to make of the court?” I said to the figure.

“This one has but a simple question for the dark alicorn,” the figure replied, standing and walking towards the two of us.

“State your business here, Caribou,” I ordered, causing Luna to glance in my direction.

“Can I help you, ambassador?” Luna asked the caribou.

“That’s not an ambassador,” I warned, stepping forward. The caribou smiled and shrugged the cloak off of its powerful frame, revealing that it was clad in a black bodysuit covered in steel rods that resembled bones. The armor of the warrior caste.

“You are an observant one, this one is pleased that the legends were not false,” our visitor noted, pacing sideways to gauge me as an opponent.

“The sharpened antlers are a dead giveaway, but has The Enclave forgotten my warning? I will not tolerate any more assassins,” I threatened, matching the caribou’s movements.

“This one is not an assassin, he is here to challenge our enemy in honorable combat.” ‘Male then, wish the caribou were just a little more dimorphic.’

I stopped circling the caribou and returned to Luna’s side, as was the custom regarding caribou challenges, “State the terms.”

“This one is here to take the head of the dark alicorn or die in the attempt. By the rights of combat, there is to be no magics or other witchcraft,” the warrior declared, entering a fighting stance.

“I accept. Jay, bind my horn and wings, I’ll fight honorably,” Luna said, stepping forward before I could demand to be her champion. I grudgingly followed her request and stepped back.

“You surprise this one as well, dark one, he thought you would hide behind your legendary ally. The faith of most would falter when gazing upon the Darakkenik,” the caribou commended, leaving his pose to bow. Luna bowed as well, taking a ready stance as she rose.

“If I may, have the caribou still refused the use of names?” Luna asked, beginning to circle her adversary.

“Labels make it easier for the Trablek to hunt, the faithful will take all actions against our enemy,” the caribou preached.

“The fuck is a Trablek?” Luna asked, using my vernacular for emphasis.

“You, dumbass. Trablek means ‘Sleeping Evil’ and is a reference to Nightmare Moon,” I answered for the caribou. Luna took the information as a personal attack and was furious.

“You will find no quarter here fiend!” Luna shouted as she charged. The caribou looked confused as he barely dodged her initial strike and failed to see her follow up in time.

The warrior slammed into one of the benches and staggered drunkenly to his hooves, “The dark one is fast, this one must be faster.”

“Good luck, she can hold her own against me,” I exaggerated, causing the caribou to pause.

“Irrelevant, this one will be victorious.” Luna’s next strike hit one of the steel bones and bent at an odd angle, leaving her limping and open for the caribou’s first attack of the fight. The warrior viciously kicked at Luna’s exposed face, as she only had one hoof to protect herself with as she attempted to gain some distance. 

“Training,” I advised simply, reminding Luna of a similar position she had faced during our training sessions on the beach. She shot her legs out from under her and slid under her attacker to kick him with both of her rear hooves and launch him off of her.

“Take that you scoundrel!” Luna gloated, looking at me for approval.

“Eunic,” I warned.

“Oh, ponyfeathers,” Luna complained as she turned to face her opponent and received a bladed antler across her face for her inattention. Luna went berserk, tackling the caribou and beating him into the floor before screaming and repeatedly stabbing her horn into his neck.

“This one’s mission is complete,” the warrior said weakly as blood poured from the wounds. I calmly walked over and stared at the dying caribou, who nodded in my direction. My arm shifted into a blade and severed the nameless warrior’s head, my tendrils extending to clean up the mess.

“Ow,” Luna whimpered from her position on the floor nearby. I looked her over once I had finished with the caribou and found a deep slash across her left eye, it would leave a nasty scar at best and cost her an eye at worst. I wouldn’t know until I could clean the wound and inspect the damage.

“Hold still, I need to know how bad this is,” I ordered, extending several small tendrils to stop the bleeding and clean the wound. The antler had indeed slashed through her eye, rendering it inoperable.

“Jay, I can’t see you,” Luna said fearfully. I ignored her for the moment and began trying to fabricate her a new eye, consuming the remains of the original to speed up the process.

“Fuck. I’m going to have to put Sierra division on this,” I commented, hiding the damage from view with some biomatter. Unlike Willow Bark, I didn’t know enough about Luna’s genetic structure to repair the damage.

“Why do they need to help? How bad is it?” Luna asked, terrified.

“Your eye is gone, I can’t fix it by myself. Fortunately your optic nerve is fine, so replacing it is still an option,” I informed her.

“Hehe, you’re hilarious. No really, why can’t I see?” I formed a flat reflective surface on my left hand and removed the biomatter hiding her eye socket. Luna found the mirror and held it up to her face, freezing before slowly turning until she could see me watching her somberly.

“Let’s get you back to Abaddon, the Sierras will help me fix this.”

“Bu-but I-I ha-have to m-meet with th-the re-repo-reporters,” Luna stuttered, her remaining eye threatening to spill its tears as she attempted to reject reality.

“Come on, let’s go. I’m sure they’ll understand,” I said as I lifted the injured princess and carried her to the nearest window. Luna spotted her reflection as I passed and burst into pained sobs, I hurried her away from any more reflective surfaces and took flight to towards Abaddon’s perch on the side of the mountain. A squad of Gammas linked up with me in flight, looking shameful that they hadn’t prevented this situation.

“Sir, we’ve failed you. This is our fault for not finding the intruder in time, we’ll accept whatever fate you deem appropriate,” the leader declared.

“How about you shut the fuck up and get back to your posts? This was no one’s fault, just bad luck,” I ordered, startling the enforcers and sending them flying back the way they came.

Celestia was waiting when I landed on Abaddon, “I expected my dear sister to be with you, but not like that.”

“Shut your face before I do it for you,” I growled, Celestia couldn’t see Luna’s missing eye from where she was standing.

“Is that you, Tia?” Luna asked, straining to face her sister.

“Mother’s light, what happened to your face?” Celestia cried insensitively.

“A caribou warrior was waiting for us in the courtroom, another result of your stupid crusades,” I explained.

“Jay, that isn’t fair. I messed up as well,” Luna chided weakly. I ignored her and silently had Abaddon bring Luna’s cocoon to the deck and transport both of them to the Sierra’s workshop with my instructions to fix her eye.

“Chelly, if the next words out of your mouth are condescending or hateful, I’ll rip your evil tongue right out,” I threatened before Celestia could speak.

“I was going to ask if the two of you were in a relationship, the reporters seem to think so,” Celestia replied.

“Your sister loses her fucking eye in a fight you started and your immediate response is to ask about her love life? You are officially the worst sibling to ever live, go away,” I said in lieu of an answer, attempting to walk away before being seized in a golden aura and turned to face my oldest enemy.

“Answer the question,” she demanded, I smiled as I looked past her.

“That leg must have somehow damaged your brain, you’ve forgotten where we are.” A massive tendril slammed down on her, pressing her legs and useless wings into Abaddon’s flesh and leaving a heavy mound of biomatter on her horn. Celestia was thoroughly incapacitated, unable to even lift her head without causing herself intense pain.

“Release me,” she ordered, “The sun must be raised in the morning or the land will die.”

“Abaddon, get this filth out of my sight. I have more important things to do,” I ordered, turning away from the pitiful excuse for an alicorn and walking into Abaddon’s internal structure. Tzu joined me as I walked towards the Sierras’ workshop, apologizing for not meeting me sooner. I waved his statement away, my mind was set on finding a way to help Luna.

“Abaddon told me what happened. What are our orders, sir?” Tzu asked, returning to his normal attitude.

“Follow me and be ready to relay my commands,” I replied before falling silent, remaining that way until we reached the workshop. Inside I found that the walls had been covered in shelves, each one holding at least three dead bioforms. Luna sat on one of the many tables in the center of the room, a tendril connecting the side of her head to one of the Sierras.

“Jay, I’m sorry. I got cocky and let my attention leave my opponent,” Luna said when she saw us enter. I shook my head.

“If I were anyone else, that would make sense. But you’ll be fine and we’ll treat this as a learning experience,” I responded as I approached to inspect the procedure.

“Maybe I just shouldn’t get into fights,” Luna suggested.

“A wise idea. Caribou honor codes allow for the use of champions. Speaking of which, we need to figure out who to send back,” I agreed, having an idea of which enforcer to turn loose.

“A challenger of our own? I suppose the captain of the royal guard would be the logical choice.”

“Nah, I’ve got something special for this kind of thing. Tzu, bring me Gamma-One-Two,” I ordered, causing the enforcer to flinch.

“The mad dog? You’re sure?” Tzu confirmed. I waved him away and he rushed out of the room.

“You have an enforcer called ‘mad dog?’” Luna asked, confused.

“You’ll see, this is the only one of my creations that scare me.” Luna froze, much to the relief of the Sierra operating on her.

“Please don’t move ma’am, this is difficult enough as it is,” the enforcer requested.

“I’m sorry, it’s just so itchy,” Luna complained, pawing at the tendril attached to her face.

“It still alarms me how quickly you accepted our methods,” I commented.

“Why, because nopony else has? I’m not just anypony,” Luna countered, her bravado once again rearing its head.

“Chelly’s on to us.” And...it’s gone.

“Oh shit. Wait, you’re just saying that to distract me,” Luna accused.

“Partially, but it’s also true,” I responded. Luna’s surprised shout heralded the Tzu’s return, along with a blood red enforcer that twitched constantly.

“Do you have any further use for me, sir?” Tzu asked, looking at his companion nervously.

“Have forty Gamma squads waiting in the castle gardens by tomorrow night, that about covers it,” I replied.

“Jay?”

“Yep, I’d say two hundred and forty counts as a fuckton.”

“How many are there?” Luna asked, bewildered that I would task that many with watching over a single party.

“Twenty thousand,” I answered simply, Luna threatened to collapse at the number.

“Twen-oh my, no wonder you can assign them wherever you want.”

“Squads,” I finished, The Gamma laughed cruelly at Luna’s shock.

“You found a funny one boss, I like her,” the enforcer giggled.

“Luna, meet Gamma-One-Two, the second highest ranking Gamma in my army. He’s also defective and bat-shit crazy,” I said, introducing our guest.

“I’m Fang! My name is Fang!” the Gamma screamed, brandishing his overly long teeth.

“And that’s why we call him the mad dog,” I added, throwing a dangerous glance at the foaming enforcer.

“Is he dangerous?” Luna asked, her attention now fixed on the Gamma.

“Undoubtedly, that’s why I want to send him to challenge the Caribou High Chaplain,” I replied.

“Ooooooh, I get to play?”

“What happened to honor?” Luna challenged.

“Fang, you are to follow all caribou codes of honor during your time in The Enclave. If you are unable to kill the chaplain without breaking these codes, you are to admit defeat and withdraw,” I ordered, the enforcer grumbled but nodded his understanding.

“And after?” my insane subordinate pressed, smiling widely.

“Return here for further instructions, bring the chaplain’s head if you win,” I answered. 

“I suppose that will have to do, it will keep casualties to a minimum at least,” Luna reasoned as the enforcer tried to force his way through the nearest wall.

“No. Keeping casualties low would be sending Shiny, that way only he would die. I’m anticipating a death toll in the thousands,” I explained.

“But why?” Luna asked, horrified.

“Fang’s going to challenge every caribou that he thinks knows which end of a spear is sharp, it’s kinda his thing. If you meant my reasoning, they maimed my beautiful wife. I wouldn’t be a good husband if I let that go unanswered,” I replied, sitting on the table next to Luna and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Luna leaned against me for a moment before slumping.

“Sir, we’re ready to make our first attempt. The patient may lose some of her facilities for a moment,” the sierra’s captain cautioned.

“More specific,” I ordered as Luna began to drool.

“Ten minutes or so, depending on the patient’s metabolism.”

“I wuv you toooo,” Luna slurred, her eye glazing over as the anesthetic took full effect.

“Just hold on, Lu. It’ll all be better in a minute,” I said soothingly.

“Shhhhh, I’m tryna think. Right, got it. Yer tha best stallion ever, we should get married,” Luna continued drunkenly.

“We did, on the same day we met,” I pointed out.

“Nooooo, fer real. With family and cake and wine and friends and Tia’s stupid face and wine and stuff.”

“You want a wedding?” I asked, confused by how odd Luna was acting. I’d seen Luna high a couple times now, and she never got like this.

“Nope, I wanna real marriage. Way better than that fake one I got before. With a real groom and a real bride and a real ceremony with real bridesmaids and a real best man and real wine,” Luna rambled.

“When the war is over we might just be able to do that,” I conceded, agreeing to prevent any undue stress.

“War shmoar, stupid Tia and the stupid gryphons and-and I don’t remember the others-making our lives hard. Mmmmm, hard,” Luna grumbled before her voice turned sultry and she began pawing at my blank crotch.

“Luna, no. You need to hold still while the nice doctor makes you a new eye,” I said, gently pushing away her hooves. Luna started to cry.

“Is it ‘cause I’m ugly now? An ugly mare nopony would want ‘cause she’s only got one eye?” Luna sobbed.

“Biomatter rejected by patient’s body, moving to second method,” one of the Sierras noted.

“I’ll never get my eye back! I’m gonna be a cyclops forever!” Luna cried, burying her head in her hooves as she wept.

“Luna I promise we’ll find a way,” I responded as gently as I could, rubbing her back as I spoke.

“B-but you don’t want me anymore because I’m hideous.” Luna proposed, her inebriated mind jumping to stranger conclusions every second.

“Luna, I’m not leaving you over a temporary injury.”

“Really?” Luna asked, her tear stained face filling with hope as she looked at me.

“Really,” I confirmed, pulling Luna into a hug.

“Then you’ll still look under the bed for monsters?” Luna asked.

“Of course, just not right now, you’re too busy having surgery right now,” I replied, thankful that her fears had been so easy to sooth.

“Oh, I’m having surgery? On what?”

“Your eye. It’s being fixed right now,” I replied, noticing a Sierra attempting to get my attention. I released Luna and walked over to the enforcer.

“Sir, her body won’t accept the new tissue. We’ve begun work on a bioform to fill the role and need some parameters for the bioform to fit,” the Sierra said quietly.

“Okay, uh, keep its feeding requirements as close to a natural eye as possible. Same for most other aspects, just as long as they don’t fall below the standard pony baseline,” I responded, attempting to predict the final product’s capabilities.

“Understood, minimum of standard baseline, as close to same as possible,” the enforcer repeated before running back to its team and getting back to work.

“What’s going on?” Luna complained from the table as the enforcer left my presence.

“Nothing too bad, Lu. Your new eye might just be a little better than it used to be,” I explained, returning to my spot against her side.

“Hehe, I like the little names you give me,” Luna stated, her drugged mind unable to process anything else.

“I only call you Luna and Lu,” I pointed out.

“You don’t understand, you’re the only one who calls me that. I need to give you a coltfriend name,” Luna declared, proceeding to mumble different nicknames for several minutes, “I got it, you’re gonna be Snuggles from now on.”

“Or until the chemicals stopping you from feeling the Sierras poke around in your head knock you out and you forget all of this,” I commented.

“Snuggles, your mare wants to cuddle,” Luna said, either ignoring my statement or being unable to comprehend it. I sent my tendrils over the table to create a warm layer and laid Luna down, following shortly after and wrapping an arm around her waist as I warmed her back with my chest.

“Try to get some sleep, my North Star. This’ll all be better when you wake up.” Luna squeed at the nickname and fidgeted until she had flipped over and gotten her hooves around me, only then did she calm down enough for the anesthetic to help her fall asleep.

“Sir if I may, that was very noble of you,” Sierra-One-One said quietly, not wanting to disturb his sleeping patient.

“You’re Oppenheimer now, figure out names for the rest of your staff,” I replied. The enforcer beamed at the praise and returned to work, causing all of the other Sierras to murmur quietly as they tried to decide what to call themselves. Over an hour passed as I held Luna and waited for the Sierras to fine tune their invention.

“Sir, it’s done.”

“Has it been implanted?”

“Yes sir, we’re ready to disconnect from the patient,” the still nameless Sierra replied, I saw the problem. In her attempts to flip herself over, Luna had managed to tangle both of us in the tendril connected to her head. I touched the tendril and detached it from her face with a thought and severed it at several points to be easily collected with another, freeing the two of us and allowing the Sierras to retrieve their biomatter.

I gently opened Luna’s eyelid to inspect the new bioform, finding the color of the iris was a darker shade of blue than her other one. As I extended a tendril to correct this variation, Luna awoke.

“Jay, why are you poking me in the eye?” Luna asked without opening her other eye.

“Three,” I replied, Luna opened her other eye and stared at me in confusion. I finished my work and withdrew the tendril before she could move and damage the bioform.

“Three what?”

“Two.”

“What are you doing?”

“One.”

“Ohmygoshmyeye! Jay, my eye is back!” Luna cried, sitting up and looking around the room. Her smile faded as she closed her original eye and looked down at herself, “Jay, something’s wrong.”

“Ah hell, I guess there were bound to be some hiccups. What’s wrong, did you lose connection?” I asked, waving for a Sierra.

“No, I can see smells and everything is sharper. When I compare it to my other eye, I feel a slight pain in the back of my head,” Luna clarified.

“Sierra, the difference is too pronounced. What can you do to rectify this?” I asked the enforcer, who stopped to consider Luna’s eyes for a moment before replying.

“We could replace the undamaged eye, I’m afraid there’s not much else we are capable of doing with the patient’s inflexible biology,” the Sierra admitted.

“Lu, what do you want to do?” I asked, turning towards the mare in question.

“I don’t have enough information to decide, tell me everything relating to this procedure,” Luna ordered wisely. At my nod, the Sierra began listing off the benefits and drawbacks of accepting or refusing the replacement surgery. Once he finished, Luna was silent for a long moment before nodding slowly, “Do it, the chronic migraines alone make refusing such a procedure quite unappealing.”

“Please allow me to retrieve the rest of my team, we’ll have the new optical organ in place before you know it. I’m Doctis, by the way,” the enforcer requested, though I suspected his introduction was for me. ‘That’s why I name them, so they don’t come up with stupid ass names.’

“Do you think I made the right decision?” Luna asked gravely, “I’ll never be on the same level as any other pony again.”

“You’ve grown up, where was this caution when you decided to marry an immortal virus monster?” I said in lieu of an answer.

“This is different, can I still even be considered a pony?”

“That I can answer. Only as much as you were before, but less and more as well,” I replied.

“Explain,” Luna requested.

“You now have the ability to detect the emotions and, in some cases, intentions of everyone you meet, but at the cost of a piece of yourself. You have lived with powers not unlike this for your entire life, being born an alicorn, but this places you above even that level, albeit by only the slightest margin. There is less of the original Luna, but what is left is made stronger. But I’m full of shit. Just do what I do and ignore it like a sane person,” I replied with a smile.

“Really? It’s that simple?”

“Yep, tune it out like a noisy room.”

“Oh, well there goes my existential crisis.” Luna’s hoof smacked the back of my head. “That’s for stringing me along for so long.”

“It was funny though,” I pointed out, Luna smiled.

“It kind of was,” she admitted as Doctis returned with three other Sierras.

“Are you ready to begin, ma’am?” Doctis asked.

“I am, how long were you waiting?” Luna countered, having noticed the faint smell of the enforcers coming from the doorway.

“Lu, it isn’t polite to use your powers to spy on others,” I chided lightly.

“It isn’t polite to eavesdrop either,” Luna countered.

“I assure you ma’am, we waited only because you seemed to be reconsidering your decision and we did not want to influence you in any way,” Doctis apologized.

“I should have expected as much, you enforcers always show such professionalism,” Luna commented.

“If you’ll lie down, we can begin. Lord Jekyll, if you could assist in keeping the patient calm and still please.” Luna and I returned to the position we had been in when she had woken up as a tendril attached itself the right half of her head.

“Jay, will this hurt?“

“The area has been numbed, but you may feel a sting followed by a slight tugging sensation,” Doctis answered, Luna pulled herself closer into my chest at his words. Luna clenched her grip on me as a round shape was pulled through the tendril, relaxing a few seconds later as I held her comfortingly. Less than a minute later the tendril retracted, leaving a slightly off color eye behind.

“My turn,” I said as I sent a tendril of my own into the eye and fixed the discrepancy.

“And the scarring? Can you do anything about that as well?” Luna requested.

“We fixed that during our first attempt to replace your missing eye,” Doctis replied happily, proud of his team’s foresight.

“Then I’m healed?”

“Absolutely not, you are to get plenty of rest and stay out of any fights for at least a week. Your optic nerves are still bonding to the bioforms and need to be treated with care. If you insist on continuing your daily activities, attempt to remain still as much as possible and close your eyelids whenever you can,” Doctis advised, the others nodding their concurrence.

“You make me sound like a working mare, I’ll take it easy,” Luna agreed.

“I’m sure you will,” Doctis teased, surprising me and causing Luna to lock up.

“I-what-are you sure you aren’t rogue?” Luna accused angrily.

“I am, the Sierras were screened before their division was formed. They have been under constant guard ever since,” I said, breaking Luna’s glare at Doctis.

“But you said odd mannerisms could be a sign,” she pressed.

“This isn’t the first enforcer to be sarcastic, Mikes and Gammas are just at a higher risk,” I explained.

“Let’s just go to bed,” Luna suggested wearily, clearly wanting to get away from the enforcer that had offended her.

“Doctis, you’re on gun detail now. I want some weapons that I can see my troops using effectively and while this one is cool, I just don’t see that potential in it. While you’re at it, I want a smaller version that looks better to carry during formal events,” I ordered, forming the one I had been given earlier.

“Yes sir,” the enforcer replied, hurrying to the other side of the room where others were discussing our next iteration of ranged weaponry. Luna followed me back to our room and onto the bed before closing her eyes and gently lowering herself onto her side.

“You going to live up to your name, Snuggles?” Luna asked, I could only laugh.

“I was hoping you had forgotten about that,” I replied as I settled into her waiting hooves.

“Did I really-”

“Yes, yes you did. You were pretty distraught and thought I was going to abandon you, as if I could be so vain. Have you even looked at me?” I replied, cutting her off.

“I for one find you to be the most handsome virus I have ever met,” Luna joked.

“Pretty short list for someone who could have any stallion she wanted,” I shot back with a chuckle.

“As if, they’re all still scared of me,” Luna argued, her tone turning somber.

“Then we’ll have to fix that, maybe hit up a club or two,” I suggested.

“What sort of club?” Luna asked, confused.

“Right, they only popped up in the last couple decades. Dance clubs,” I clarified.

“Jay, I don’t know how to dance.”

“Me neither, never bothered to learn.”

“Shit, what do we do?” Luna pressed.

“Go anyway,” I replied, causing Luna to look at me like I’d lost my mind.

“How will that help? It just sounds embarrassing.”

“Just be yourself, everyone loves an underdog. Not being able to dance will make you endearing,” I suggested.

“And your ulterior motive?” Luna pressed, I sighed.

“Most patrons of these clubs are looking for some action, this’ll help you learn how to see past the pheromones,” I admitted.

“Would it still be fun?”

“Probably,” I guessed.

“Then I’m okay with it, in a few minutes,” Luna replied drowsily, the anesthetic still working its way through her bloodstream and making itself known now that she didn’t have a rush of adrenaline keeping her going.

“Get some sleep while you can, it’s going to be a busy night when you wake up,” I offered.

“Not till you tell me what a ‘North Star’ is,” Luna argued as she fought the urge to sleep.

“It’s another thing from my world. The North Star is a bright star that is due north of anywhere in the northern hemisphere, sailors used to use it to navigate in the dark,” I explained.

“That’s beutiffffffffffffff-” Luna attempted before falling asleep mid word, her breath dragging out the last syllable.

“Goodnight, Luna,” I said before adjusting my form to be more comfortable.

A couple hours later a tendril extended from the wall and waited for me to acknowledge it. I ignored the tendril and sent one of my own into the wall, discovering that Celestia had returned with Luna’s pony guards. I decided to merge with the wall rather than disturb Luna’s slumber and wormed my way through Abaddon to reach the surface as a long tree-like being before reforming my normal body.

“Go away, Chelly. You aren’t welcome here,” I ordered, Green and the others took this as a sign to get as far away as possible.

“Is this not my nation? I can go where I please,” Celestia argued.

“How many times do I need to beat the tar out of you before you accept defeat and move on?” I asked.

“Only until you show the world the monster that I see,” Celestia answered smugly.

“I don’t think you believe that. You know full well that I could kill your ponies all day long if I wanted to and there’s not a damn thing you could do to stop me,” I countered, “The fact that I don’t undermines your argument.”

“You-come here,” Celestia requested, her voice dropping to a near whisper.

“Try anything and you die,” I warned as I spared her the pain of walking to me.

“You’re right, I was wrong about you. I just have so much tied into hunting you that I can’t let it go anymore. There are things coming Jekyll, true evil the likes of which neither of us has seen before. I know I cannot defeat them, but maybe you can. You did make one of them, after all,” Celestia admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Abaddon, take this bitch to a holding room. I’ll deal with her personally,” I ordered. Celestia barely had time to look surprised as the very ground she stood on wrapped around her and hauled her into an empty store room. I hitched a ride on his tendrils and arrived at the same time as Celestia, “No one can hear us in here, we can speak freely.”

“Did you have to be so rough?” Celestia complained.

“Yes. Now no one will think we’re actually getting along,” I explained.

“I suppose. As I was saying, that creature you made is in league with a powerful force,” Celestia continued.

“I already figured that out, he wouldn’t have been able to rebel otherwise. What can you tell me about this group? I assume this is an organization and not a single entity.”

“I don’t know, and please don’t tell anypony. They have my parents, they say they’ll kill them if I go against them. Fortunately, you got to Luna before they could.”

“I really don’t like what I’ve heard about your folks and how you lot treated Luna. This isn’t inspiring me to help,” I deadpanned.

“We all have a weakness, Jekyll. Mine is family, I suspect yours is Luna. She’d be crushed if you didn’t help save her parents,” Celestia pressed.

“You can’t manipulate me like one of your ponies. When I say that I don’t care, I mean it.”

“Fine, I tried. Will you at least save my ponies from this threat?” Celestia pleaded.

“Chelly, I don’t value pony lives.” Her face fell. “I value all lives. I’m not going to protect Equestria, I’m going to kill the everloving fuck out of Dopple and the rest of his little gang before they can threaten anyone.”

“You’ll help?” Celestia asked hopefully.

“No, I’ll just get it done. Torch passed. Where are they?” I responded.

“I don’t know, they’ve always contacted me by letter and had me respond by leaving notes at dead drops. I don’t even know the name of this group, though I suspect they have ties to Discord,” Celestia admitted.

“Because that’s how they supposedly died,” I concluded, thinking of how to find this organization.

“I’m sorry, but that’s all I know,” Celestia finished.

“They obviously have a base in canterlot. Contact me before your next dead drop, I have an idea on how to track them down.”

“How?” Celestia asked.

“You do realize that this little parley doesn’t make us friends, right? I still fucking hate you and would rather trust a brain-damaged diamond dog with that information,” I pointed out, shaking my head.

“If I didn’t need your help right now, I’d banish you for that,” Celestia shot back angrily.

“Ooh scary, if only I cared,” I replied, faking a yawn.

“Grr-no, I won’t allow myself to resort to yelling at you pointlessly,” Celestia said, taking a breath to calm herself.

“Again?” I asked with a grin.

“Shut up,” Celestia ordered.

“Whatever, tell the walls when you want to leave and they’ll toss you out,” I instructed as I opened the door and walked out.

“I’d actually like to see how Luna has been living these last few weeks,” Celestia requested, following me out and into the hallway.

“This way then,” I replied with a wave towards the end of the hallway. I led the way to Luna’s room, stopping at the doorway to listen and smell for anything I thought Luna would want kept secret. Finding nothing, I opened the door and walked inside.

“You should fire your decorator,” Celestia commented as she looked around the room, her voice startling Luna awake.

“Learn some manners, Chelly,” I responded as Luna looked at the two of us in confusion.

“Tia, Jay, what’s going on?” she asked drowsily.

“I just wanted to check on my little sister. Jekyll here has been surprisingly accommodating,” Celestia lied before I could answer.

“Oh, okay. What’d you wanna talk about?” Luna continued, still not quite awake.

“Before we immerse ourselves in conversation, I must ask where I would find the restroom,” Celestia requested formally.

“That’s actually a good question. My bioforms and I don’t produce waste, where have you been relieving yourself?” I responded, turning towards Luna.

“Abaddon makes me a latrine whenever I ask,” Luna replied with a shrug.

“A latrine? That’s disgusting,” Celestia gagged, “And what in Equestria is an ‘Abaddon?’ Every time Jekyll says that word, the ground attacks me!”

“Good morning ma’am, how can I help you?” Abaddon answered, sprouting a secondary head from the floor and situating himself about a foot away from Celestia’s nose.

“Gah! But floor, how?” Celestia stumbled.

“You misunderstand, ma’am. The floors may appear to be constructed out of concrete, but that is simply a way of being more appealing to other beings that Lord Jekyll may invite aboard,” Abaddon explained, “But please, forgive my rudeness. My name is Abaddon, and I am the leviathan perched next to your city.”

“We’re in a monster’s stomach? How do you live like this, Luna?” Celestia asked, horrified by the idea. Luna shrugged again.

“Doesn’t bother me,” she answered simply.

“But these things are everywhere. I wouldn’t be able to stand it,” Celestia pressed.

“Abby’s a sweetheart once you get to know him,” Luna continued, feigning obliviousness.

“Not how I’d describe him, I still remember the skull thing,” I commented.

“I forgot about that. Are they still there?” Luna asked.

“Yep.”

“I knew it! I knew all along that you were a monster, Jekyll. Now I have a confession!” Celestia cried gleefully.

“Sister, they aren’t from ponies,” Luna deadpanned.

“What? But then where did they come from?”

“You remember the assassins that went after Luna? I had them killed,” I answered.

“And their heads taken,” Luna finished with a shiver.

“I expect to have a few more skulls in a couple days, too,” I added, more for Abaddon to be excited about than anything.

“A couple days?” Luna confirmed, “Fang works quickly.”

“What kind of name is ‘Fang?’ Sounds like a dog’s name,” Celestia commented.

“I didn’t pick it, that’s for sure. And what’s with you and the pet thing? It’s always ‘dog’ this or ‘pet’ that,” I asked.

“It’s an easy insult and it always get’s under your skin,” Celestia answered.

“But why would I be the pet? Luna’s the one living in my house and apparently shitting on my floor, shouldn’t she be the pet in this analogy?” I continued. Celestia looked offended, but Luna knew my humor by now and remained stoic.

“Makes sense to me,” Luna commented, causing Celestia to turn towards the wall.

“Let me out, wall,” Celestia demanded, returning to her usual demeanor.

“Very well,” Abaddon replied, opening the floor under the alicorn and letting her fall through him and out into the open air.

“Jay, why was Tia here?” Luna asked suspiciously once the floor had resealed itself.

“She’s convinced there’s some evil organization trying to destroy the world or something, but she can’t act ‘cause they’ve got your parents hostage. So she wants me to fix it. I heard her out on the off chance that these mysterious evildoers actually exist,” I explained. Luna burst out laughing and fell off the bed.

“No, really. Why was she here?” Luna asked once she had recovered enough to do so.

“That’s what she said,” I insisted. Luna stopped laughing and stood up, instantly serious.

“I assume she asked you not to tell me?”

“You probably count as anypony, but I don’t take orders from Chelly.”

“Jay, Tia and I saw their bodies. Discord pulled their souls out and left their physical forms to die. This is obviously a trap of some kind,” Luna reasoned.

“I figured as much. Chelly coming to me for help kinda broke the illusion,” I agreed.

“Tia would surely realize that this wouldn’t work, why would she try anyway?” Luna wondered.

“I’m more concerned about the implications of this. Luna, she knew about Dopple,” I said. Luna’s eyes widened slightly.

“You think he’s manipulating Tia?”

“Impossible, she’s the puppeteer around here. I think he’s allied himself with her. I think Celestia is hiding Dopple from me,” I declared.

“Would she go that far?” Luna muttered, more to herself than me.

“Abaddon, have Tzu meet me on the deck with the Bravos and Sierras. This might get a little uncomfortable for a while,” I ordered, already walking towards the door.

“Wait for me!” Luna called, rising from her seated position to follow.

“No, just go on back to bed. You didn’t get much sleep yesterday,” I pointed out, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes to help.”

“But I have so much to think about now,” Luna protested.

“Just try, huh. For me?” I pressed.

“Okay, I’ll try,” Luna conceded, climbing onto the bed and pulling the blanket over herself, “Just don’t take too long.”

I left without another word. Tzu met up with me as I neared the exit and infirmed me that the others would be arriving shortly. Once all of the enforcers I had summoned were gathered, I began giving them their orders.

“Bravo division, you are to create a staging area in the lowest section of Abaddon’s abdomen. This area is to be large enough to house the entirety of Romeo and Gamma divisions. Understood?”

“Yes, sir. May we improve upon the design?”

“Fuck it, sure. Sierras, I need more guns and an ammunition type built to drop an enforcer. Got it?”

“Already done. We’ll have one sent to you for inspection.”

“Awesome. Tzu, big task for you. Get every Mike, Romeo, and India into the new staging area, then have Gamma division search Canterlot.”

“Sir, could you be more specific? How many squads are you asking me to relocate?”

“All of them.”

“Fucking hell!” Tzu swore.

“I have reason to believe that Dopple is being harbored in that city, I want him found. The rogue threat is keeping me from using sane numbers, so go crazy. Find that bastard and burn his stockpiles of his precious drug. Fill the skies, streets, and sewers with my soldiers if you have to, just get it done,” I ordered, staring past the stunned enforcers at the city below.

“I will, sir. Just, shit, that’s a lot,” Tzu replied distantly.

“Glad to see you’re finally developing a personality. Abaddon, your turn. You are to inspect every enforcer that you come in contact with for tampering until told otherwise. By me. If you find any, take them into custody and I will interrogate them personally.”

“Understood.”

“That should do it. Tzu, wait for the others to finish before getting to work and take a headcount while you’re at it. I want to know how many rogues we may be facing,” I added.

“Of course, sir,” Tzu replied diligently.

“Great, come find me when you have something to report,” I finished, turning to leave them to their tasks. I paused as I reached the doorway, “And Tzu, this is an intel raid. I don’t want to hear about any casualties.”

Yes, sir,” Tzu replied as I left. 

I returned to the room to find Luna tossing in her sleep, quickly becoming tangled in the blankets even as the blankets themselves attempted to flatten back out. I slid into the bed next to her once she had turned towards the wall and calmed her with an arm around her waist. 

Luna slept peacefully for the next couple hours before Tzu stormed in with a panicked look on his face.

“Sir, we have a problem...”
> Chapter 12: Of Cults and Crazies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sir, we have a problem...”

That was as far as Tzu got before I was leaping out of the bed and rebounding off of the opposite wall towards the door. Tzu attempted to follow my course, but I took the chance away when I sent a tendril around his waist and pulled him into my grip. I interrogated Tzu as I ran.

“Report,” I ordered, the equivalent of an entire line of questioning to the enforcers.

“The city has been swept, sir, but we weren’t able to locate Dopple or any other rogues. I believe you’d like to hear the rest from the source,” Tzu explained simply as he hung from my left hand. I reached the deck a few seconds later and took off immediately. 

“Where?”

“Southern quarter, warehouse district. You can’t miss it,” Tzu replied. I adjusted my trajectory to match Tzu’s directions, quickly finding what he had been talking about. Celestia was throwing lances of fire into a crowd of Gammas like her life depended on it, the enforcers in turn were doing their best to put as much cover between the solar diarch and themselves as possible.

“What the absolute fuck is going on here?” I demanded as I slammed into the ground in front of Celestia, releasing my grip on Tzu once my momentum had dissipated.

“Jekyll, get your monsters out of my city. Now!” Celestia ordered angrily, charging another bout of magic.

“No,” I replied, slapping the magic off her horn and leaving some biomass behind for good measure, “Not until you tell me where Dopple is.”

“You would endanger-”

“Your parents died thousands of years ago when Discord pulled out their souls. That’s right, I know,” I interrupted. I noticed Tzu trying to get my attention, but waved him off for now.

“You’re smarter than you look. Fine, search all you want, you won’t find anything,” Celestia conceded, turning to walk away. I sent a tendril into the biomass attached to her horn and pulled her back before she could get very far.

“Nope, you aren’t leaving my sight until I’m satisfied. Tzu, how many wounded are we looking at?” I asked, finally turning my attention to the enforcer. Celestia settled for glaring at me in silence for the time being.

“Nine have lost some biomass to minor burns, nothing too serious,” Tzu replied. 

“I get the feeling that this wasn’t the problem you mentioned,” I commented, somewhat surprised by the low numbers.

“You are correct, sir. The real issue is just down this street.”

The Gammas, having nothing else to do at the moment, fell into a defensive position around us as we walked down the street. Celestia was already walking without her cast, but was still limping slightly as she was forced to follow. 

“I said get back! This is for your own good you twits!”

“Tzu, was that the captain of Gamma division?” I asked as we closed in on the voice.

“Yes, sir,” Tzu replied.

“I didn’t figure him for the demeaning type,” I commented.

“He’s had a rough day,” Tzu said apologetically. We rounded the side of one of the warehouses to find Gamma-One-One roughly shoving other enforcers away from the entrance, his face locked in a snarl.

“Captain, what’s going on here?” I asked, the other enforcers moving away from the target of my question as I spoke.

“Oh, Boss. Thank goodness you’re here, these idiots won’t stop trying to sweep the inside. I told them it was contaminated but they keep trying to go in,” the enforcer explained.

“You’ve been exposed,” I noted, “What happened?”

“Got to this part of the city and continued our search, I walk in and get a bucket of some liquid thrown in my face for my trouble. Now it’s all over the floor, I’m pissed off, and I can’t tell if this is permanent,” the Gamma continued.

“And your assailant?”

“Dead.”

“You murdered my best lead?” I confirmed, debating whether to keep the captain or have him killed and replaced.

“No sir, he dove through a window and led squads twenty-eight and sixteen-thirty-one on a chase across the city. They brought back his body, said he killed himself when they cornered him,” the former captain explained. ‘Nevermind, he’s staying for now.’

“Where’s the body?”

“Around the corner of the building, I thought keeping it out of sight from the street would be a good idea.”

“You thought right, no visible body keeps panic to a minimum,” I congratulated. I walked around the building towards where the enforcer had said the corpse was, finding a useless hunk of meat. The pegasus worker had apparently been a true believer, as he’d managed to force a dagger through his temple. I couldn’t consume his memories without an intact brain.

“You have ten seconds to convince me that you didn’t sabotage this,” I shouted as I returned to the rogue enforcer, not expecting anything of the sort to have happened but needing to be sure.

“I have been here, any of them can confirm this,” the rogue said without hesitation, waving to the crowd of Gammas standing nearby. They all nodded in agreement, removing any doubt I might have held against the captain of my guards.

“You know, I might have a use for your altered genes, if you’re interested,” I said.

“Earlier today I would have found that comforting, now it just feels like I’m a tool to be used and discarded,” the rogue captain commented. Cheryl had been so similar to a normal enforcer that I hadn’t considered that their priorities might have changed as well.

“Call it whatever you want, I’m offering you the chance to keep your home and family. You’ll get a command too, if you want it,” I enticed, getting the rogue’s attention.

“I assumed that I’d lose the Gammas, but I also thought you’d kill me. I’ll take your deal.”

“Hold up, that shit’s got to go. All of you listen up, two days ago I had to deal with Jeff thinking I was going to recycle him because he didn’t figure out how to deal with a crazy mare right away. When have I ever shown that kind of attitude? I get enough of that crap from Chelly here, I don’t need it from you lot as well,” I ranted.

“Feel better?” Celestia asked mockingly.

“Shut the fuck up, I have enough evidence to justify executing you for crimes against your own nation,” I threatened.

“There goes your little speech,” Celestia added.

“What can I say, you bring out the worst in me. Go home, Celestia, I might actually kill you today,” I replied tiredly, removing the biomass from her horn. Celestia grinned maliciously as she teleported away.

“Is she always like that?” the former Gamma asked.

“Yep. You ready for the details of your new job?”

“Hit me.”

“You are to form a squad out of other enforcers who have been drugged but remain loyal, the purpose of this squad is to investigate and contain locations like this. All enforcers in this squad are to be heavily monitored for signs of treachery, I don’t think I have to tell you what the consequences would be,” I explained.

“Better than I had hoped, I’m in. What do I do now?” the new squad leader asked.

“Grab the squads that chased down your attacker and go back to Abaddon, I’ll meet up with you later. Oh, and he’s going to detain you, I’ll let you out as soon as I get there. Don’t tell the others, I still need them checked for corruption as well. Right now I’m going in there and having a look around,” I declared, walking around the rogue enforcer and through the door he had been guarding. 

On the other side of the door was the warehouse’s office, another door on the other side of the room leading into the rest of the building. Inside the office, I found exactly what had been described. A bucket lay in the corner, a milky substance still dripping from the rim, and a broken window leading to a space I couldn’t see from my position outside. A quick sample from the bucket confirmed that part of the Gamma’s story, it was definitely the same substance I had detected in the cells of every rogue enforcer I had consumed. As I walked into the massive storage room, my eyes widened in shock. The entire area was filled with shelves, every shelf was covered in large barrels, and all the barrels had the word ‘Freedom’ burned into the side. I slammed my fist into the nearest one and was rewarded with a familiar milky substance running down my arm. I left the exposed skin behind and retreated from the building, locking eyes with Tzu as I returned to the waiting Gammas.

“Burn it down,” I ordered.

“Sir?” Tzu asked as several enforcers flew off to find something flammable.

“There are hundreds of gallons of that shit in there, maybe even enough to affect Abaddon or another leviathan,” I informed them, still shocked at the amount inside.

“Sir, the Sierras have something for this kind of situation. A ‘fire-worm,’ they’re calling it,” Tzu suggested.

“They need to stop trying to name things,” I complained, “Whatever, show me.”

Tzu formed an odd looking version of the same weapon I had received and fired it into the air, leaving a red streak extending away from our position. A moment later, a thundering explosion shook the buildings and a black shape could be seen arcing over the city. The shape resolved itself into a bloated orange tube as it neared, impacting the building’s roof and shattering the few windows. Fire soon began to lick at those same windows as the building became engulfed, burning away any trace of the chemicals contained within.

“Did I hit it?” Abaddon’s voice echoed. Tzu launched a green flare in response, “Thank you.”

“Tzu, why don’t I have one of those?” I asked, immensely pleased with the results.

“I was supposed to give you this one tonight, but circumstances conspired against me,” Tzu replied.

“And the anti-enforcer weaponry?” I continued.

“The Sierras weren’t eager to make more of the cure, so I sent ten squads of Romeos to retrieve our existing stockpile. Meager as it is, we should be able to get a working model by the end of the day,” Tzu explained.

“Grand, I wanted that done before we attacked Canterlot. I guess it all worked out in the end,” I mused.

“Not how I’d describe it,” Tzu commented.

“Just wait and see. Let’s get back to Abaddon before Chelly throws another hissy fit.”

The sight of two divisions worth of enforcers lifting off and leaving Canterlot could be compared to a swarm of locusts leaving a destroyed field in search of more food, except that Canterlot had only suffered the loss of one building. Once Tzu and I landed on Abaddon we hurried inside before the flood of Gammas could clog the hallways, arriving at the room Luna and I shared shortly after. As expected, there were several enforcers bound to the walls by Abaddon’s tendrils. Among them was the former captain of Gamma division.

“Ah finally, I tried to tell him about our deal but he wouldn’t listen,” the rogue said, relief clear in his voice.

“About that deal,” I began, walking towards the enforcer.

“Jay?” Luna asked, her face curious but her voice was filled with annoyance at the intruders disrupting her sleep.

“One second. Where was I? Right, your squad is Charlie division, that means cleanup and containment. I’ll send them your way as I find suitable members, you’ll be in charge of figuring out how to get the job done and forming your team accordingly. Any questions?” I said to the bound rogue.

“I’m going to be a janitor?” he asked with as much enthusiasm as a convict looking at an electric chair.

“You will be safeguarding your brothers and sisters against the same fate you experienced. You can still turn down this offer if you want, though that would result in your incarceration until the Sierras think of some way to reverse this condition. Fair warning, they haven’t made it a priority yet,” I counseled the captain.

“Any perks to the job?”

“You will have the authority to order other enforcers away from any structure, though they will have the right to retrieve me if they don’t believe there is an actual threat. They will obey that order without question,” I added.

“Deal, when can I start?”

“As soon as another warehouse is located. On that note, Tzu, have the Spooks go through everything about our dead pegasus and find out who he was working for. I’m giving them the authority to conduct this investigation as they see fit, but they should place higher priority on stockpiles of this ‘Freedom’ and where it is coming from than those responsible. I still want names however. One-One, pick a name that isn’t retarded and tell Tzu when you find a room to work out of, he’ll organize the rest,” I ordered, severing the rogue’s bindings with a claw as I finished.

“I’ll get to it then, catch you around, boss,” One-One said as he left to find his new office.

“Sir, the others?” Tzu asked. I looked at the remaining rogues, finding most of them scowling back. One of them was sobbing silently however, fresh tears running down its face as it refused to meet my gaze. I stood back up and walked towards this enforcer, bladed tendrils extending from my back to tear apart and consume the others.

“It took me a thousand years to figure that one out. Why are you crying?” I asked, my neutral tone unsettling the last rogue.

“I don’t want to die,” the enforcer answered.

“A sentiment shared by everything else, but the others weren’t crying,” I pointed out.

“But I didn’t want this! I was happy being a Romeo, now I’m a freak. I just want things to go back to how they were.”

“I can try to rebuild your genes, but I can’t promise you’ll survive the procedure,” I offered.

“Please,” the enforcer pleaded, looking me in the eyes for the first time.

“I remember you. You were part of the squad that helped me make Jeff, I named you,” I commented sadly, remembering the pride I had felt for my enforcers on that day.

“Yes, sir. I’m-”

“Kevin. You were one of the first enforcers I named, did you know that?” I interrupted.

“The second, Dopple was the first,” Kevin answered, nodding.

“Let’s get this done, I promise to do my best to return you to normal.”

I removed the blades from the tendrils on my back and speared them into the Romeo, my entire mind focusing on the reconstruction of every cell in the bioform’s body. At the one hour mark, the enforcer began to seize and thrash against his restraints. Five minutes later, he was dead. I absorbed the remains and returned to the bed without speaking.

“Sir, I-” Tzu attempted. He probably had something encouraging to say, like how he’d have the Sierras figure out a gentler gene therapy. Problem was, I didn’t want to hear anything of the sort at the moment.

“GETTHEFUCKOUT!” I snapped. I heard Tzu jump away at my outburst and run out of the room, this only drove me further into my current bout of self loathing.

“Jay, are you okay?” Luna asked. I continued staring at the ceiling for a moment before responding.

“No, I’m not. I hate this. I hate that something took Dopple from me. I hate that Dopple’s taking more of them. I hate that I couldn’t save at least one of them. And I really fucking hate Canterlot. After this stupid party tonight, I’m having Abaddon relocate to Ponyville. At least they’re fucking friendly there,” I raged, never looking away from the arbitrary spot on the ceiling I had chosen to be the recipient of my anger.

“I’ll tell the court tonight and meet you there,” Luna said softly, climbing onto the bed and pressing against my side.

“Are you going back to sleep?” I asked, debating whether to stay where I was or walk onto the deck.

“No, I’d only get a couple more hours at this point anyway,” Luna replied.

“I’m going to take a walk to clear my head, care to join me?” I proposed.

“That would be nice, I need to think of how to tell the court that I’ll be taking a leave of absence,” Luna agreed.

“You have to get up to go for a walk,” I pointed out.

“Are we doing this again? Can’t we just lounge around for once in our lives?” Luna ranted, throwing her hooves around as she accidentally worked her way onto my left arm.

“I suppose that would work too,” I relented, pushing my arm the rest of the way under her and resting my hand on her shoulder. 

“Well, I’m bored.”

“Really? It’s been less than ten seconds.”

“I expected you to fight me on this, now I don’t have an argument to keep me entertained,” Luna whined.

“Then get up,” I reasoned.

“But I’m comfortable,” Luna rebutted, worming her way even further into my side. My hand left her shoulder and transitioned to resting on her stomach.

“So you want to be uncomfortable? I can do that, I was once awarded the Askew Star by the Arch-Mayor of the Awkward Inlands,” I declared proudly.

“That would be impressive, if any of those things existed,” Luna countered. 

My hand darted in the general direction of her rear hooves, “Squeeze squeeze.”

“I’m up,” Luna screeched as she spun out of the bed and gracefully alighted upon the floor in the perfect image of how a princess should always carry herself. That is to say, she faceplanted in a tangle of her own legs and managed to throw herself into the opposite wall while attempting to return to her hooves.

“I will lament the day when that no longer works,” I announced in mock regret.

“Go fuck yourself. Grabbing a mare’s teat, have you no shame?” Luna accused angrily.

“Meh, not really. It’s all the same to me, kinda comes with being a shapeshifter. That and hanging around Lucky for as long as I have,” I countered.

“Ug, don’t even say that demon’s name. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have nightmares for centuries from her supposed lesson plan,” Luna groaned.

“You know, there’s an old legend that if you say her name three times while facing a mirror, she’ll appear in the room and make you retake the entire class,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Luna visibly shivered at the thought.

“And ponies think I’m scary, they have no idea what horrors that mare can conjure. But we’re getting off topic, I’m still mad at you,” Luna said, returning her focus to her anger.

“What, are you looking to get even? That can be arranged,” I replied suggestively, my chest expanding as I spoke.

“I’m going for a walk before you give me some form of mental damage. If you would like to join me, at least make yourself presentable first,” Luna requested with a sigh, though I saw her grin as she walked out of the room. I waited a few seconds before rising and leaving as well.

I headed straight for the doorway that led onto the deck. As I walked, I thought about how I could have prevented the Romeo’s death. I couldn’t think of a single thing I could’ve done differently, but that’s what the Sierras were for. Thinking of the things that I wouldn’t and putting them into action.

“Abby, get my chair out of storage. I need to think for a while,” I ordered as I neared the door. I found my chair waiting for me by the time I passed its threshold, and headed straight for it. I found my pack of cigarettes and lighter in one of the pouches and lit one, savoring the rush of nicotine.

“He wanted you to try,” Tzu said from somewhere behind me.

“That’s not what’s bothering me. It’s the fact that I failed to rebuild one of my own creations, it should’ve worked.”

“The Sierras are reanalyzing the composition of the drug as we speak, they’ll figure out what caused the complication,” Tzu reassured.

“I figured you’d have them do that, thanks. Well, enough moping. Did you see where Luna went?” I asked.

“No, but I do have a couple gifts for you, courtesy of the Sierras,” Tzu replied, forming the flare gun he had used earlier, “The instructions are coded into its biomatter.”

“Sweet, I always wanted to call in artillery,” I said as I accepted the weapon and absorbed it, instantly learning what the different colored flares meant and how to make them.

“I have arms!” Abaddon cheered.

“No you don’t, you have cannons,” I pointed out.

“I have armaments!” Abaddon corrected with no loss of enthusiasm.

“There’s a couple life lessons you should learn from this, Tzu. First: there’s not a problem in the world that can’t be solved with the proper application of high explosives,” I began.

“I’d argue that point,” Luna’s voice echoed from the open doorway. Somehow she could spoil my fun without even being present.

“And second: on the battlefield, fear and respect are interchangeable. Always have the bigger stick,” I finished.

“And in this case the stick means cannon,” Tzu reasoned, looking thoughtful.

“It’s a bit more general than that. Having bigger, stronger, and more deadly weapons can break your enemy’s morale and cause them to surrender before the fight can even begin. But having more of them than the other guy, that’s the real kicker. Take Abby here for example, he’s got the biggest guns on the planet, but a gryphon army wouldn’t give up if it was just him standing there. Give him a couple thousand enforcers armed with those guns the Sierras came up with, and they’ll know that they can’t win,” I explained.

“Superior forces and numbers, it almost seems too simple. But how would that affect the strategy I’ve already implemented for the ponies?” Tzu asked.

“It doesn’t fit them, they’re the underdog in this war. They don’t stand a chance without our direct and inevitable intervention,” I replied.

“Do you really think we’re that helpless?” Luna asked, sounding hurt by my lack of confidence as she finally made her way onto the deck. I took another pull of my cigarette before responding.

“It isn’t about my opinions, I’ve run the numbers and Equestria is coming up short. The gryphons have you beat in the air, the minotaurs and caribou on the ground, and the zebras have magic warding totems to combat your unicorns. Add in that you’re lacking the number of troops you’d need to fight them anyway, and things look pretty grim,” I countered.

“Then it’s hopeless and we should just lay down and let them win,” Luna concluded, stopping just outside of my field of vision.

“If you did that, I’d pack up and move to The Badlands. I won’t fight Equestria’s battles, that just encourages the behavior that started this whole mess to begin with. But if your people will fight for their land, I’ll pull them out of the fire. Be glad that this is because of your sister’s fanatical hatred for me, or I’d just watch the carnage,” I continued.

“What? Why?” Luna asked, finally walking to where I could see her.

“Not my problem. I haven’t sworn any oaths to Equestria, nor do I owe anyone my support. The way it is right now, it’s partially my fault. Chelly was hunting me, that makes it my problem.”

“Jay, I get that you’re in a bad mood, but you don’t have to be so mean,” Luna responded, sounding betrayed.

“In my defense, you walked in on me dropping a hint that my chief strategist should start working on an offensive plan. But you’re right, I’m sorry. How was your walk?” I said in a poor attempt to divert the conversation.

“Evidently too short, you still have those things on your chest,” Luna replied.

“Bah, you act like making myself female is a big deal,” I countered, pulling the lever to extend the footrest and crossing my legs.

“Adding mammaries to mess with me does not make you a mare,” Luna argued, walking in front of me as the previously unknown feature of my chair peaked her curiosity. Once she was in the perfect position, I alternated how my legs were crossed and ensured she got a good view, “Seriously?”

“Why not? It isn’t like I can get stuck like this. Besides, the look on your face is priceless.”

“Are you going to braid my mane too?” Luna mocked, running her hoof through her hair for emphasis.

“Now I’m tempted to do just that. You’ve got me curious about what it would look like,” I commented.

“Fascinating mechanism for this thing. How did you come up with the idea?” Luna asked, ducking her head under the footrest to hide her mane.

“Sir, if I may. The other item I was supposed to give you,” Tzu interjected, holding a pistol version of the previous bioweapon I had been given. I accepted the offered weapon and checked it for any of the strange spines that had covered the previous model, finding none.

“Are these parts made out of dragon bones?” Luna asked obliviously.

“Yeah, their bones are the only thing harder than Chelly’s skull. The perfect material to build a chair out of. More importantly, the only thing I could find that could support my maximum weight without being alive,” I answered before returning my attention to Tzu, “Tell me that they didn’t try to name this one.”

“They’re calling it the deathbringer series,” Tzu replied with a sigh.

“Okay, I’m done with this shit. Make another division, call it November. It only needs one enforcer, just to either stop the Sierras from naming things altogether or to come up with better names. I’ll leave selecting the enforcer to you, just-just pick a smart one. Please,” I ordered, tossing the remains of my cigarette so I could cradle my head in my free hand.

“Did I miss something?” Luna asked, finally removing her head from the inner workings of my, admittedly very advanced, chair. I reached over and cleaned a spot of grease off her cheek with the thumb of my free hand.

“Nothing important, just got a better looking sidearm,” I replied, lifting the weapon and preparing to assimilate it into my arsenal.

“Wait!” Tzu said, waving towards the weapon, “I was also told not to absorb it, the complexity added when shrinking the design makes reforming it quite time consuming. The Sierras recommended that it is carried as it is.”

“Then where were you keeping it?” I asked, confused.

“My torso,” Tzu answered simply, causing me to realize how much storage space I had been neglecting for the last few hundred years. Not wanting to be outdone, I opened a pocket on my right thigh and holstered my new weapon. I couldn’t help feeling like a certain police officer of the robotic variety as I tested my ability to draw and reholster my pistol, particularly since I had the pocket close every time I took my hand away from it.

“Well I feel stupid. Why haven’t I been doing that for years?” I asked rhetorically.

“Doing what, sir?”

“Storing shit inside of me. It’s just so convenient,” I replied, bewildered. Tzu looked like he had something to say but tried to walk away before he could speak, “Speak your mind, Tzu.” 

“We’ve used that technique since the beginning, I thought you did as well,” Tzu admitted. It was a good thing I was already seated, or I might have collapsed from the shock and humiliation.

“But-ah screw it, I don’t care anymore. Just go back to whatever you do when I’m not bossing you around,” I said, thoroughly defeated in this mental game. Luna cleared her throat to get my attention.

“If you’re done making a fool of yourself, I’m waiting for you to remove those ridiculous things so I can sit down as well,” Luna griped.

“Not happening, c’mere,” I ordered, sending a tendril around her waist and pulling her on top of me. I made sure Luna landed on her back and quickly maneuvered her so that her head was next to mine with one of my breasts on each of her shoulders.

“Eww, they’re touching me,” Luna complained, attempting to squirm her way out of my grip.

“It’s just biomatter, there’s no difference between this and my hands touching you. It’s probably some of the same cells, I never bother to keep track of them. Honestly, you astound me. How can you go from ‘cram your tendrils down my throat so I can see how you taste things,’ to ‘eww boobies’ in just a few days?” I ranted.

“That was for science,” Luna argued as she continued to struggle.

“And this isn’t? I didn’t stray very far from the average size for my original species,” I countered. Luna stopped fighting me and turned serious.

“Jay, while I understand you’re attempting to expand my comfort zone with these pranks of yours, the comparison between us is making me feel inferior,” Luna stated. I ignored her confession as I moved one hand up and ran my fingers through her mane, finding my target on my third attempt. I yanked the tendril out of Luna’s ear and tossed it away with a disapproving look.

“You don’t need Abaddon’s help to get me to back down, just be honest,” I advised as I returned my form to normal and allowed Luna to get comfortable on her own.

“I couldn’t figure out how to say it,” Luna admitted.

“Just ramble, I’ll figure it out.”

“It’s just-why were they so big? I’ve never heard of any mare with teats that large,” Luna rambled distantly, taking my advice.

“That’s because they’re also used to attract a mate, while yours are purely for foals,” I explained. Luna nodded thoughtfully for a moment before relaxing.

“That makes sense, considering the placement. And considering that it’s a vastly different species from a vastly different world, I find my uneasiness unfounded. You may bring them back, I desire a pillow,” Luna replied with a grin, leaving me wondering who was pranking who.

Luna didn’t move when it was time for her to raise the moon, she simply lit her horn and accomplished the task without looking. The only indication that she was even awake, other than her horn, was a content sigh that escaped her lips when the task was complete. But all things must eventually come to an end, and we only had a half hour left to get to the palace gardens for Fancy’s party.

“Time to get up,” I said, nudging the mare that was sprawled across my chest.

“Make me,” Luna challenged. I decided to use my typical approach, as it was always the funniest. I grew a ridge along my groin and stomach, though it would feel like something else to one who couldn’t see what was happening. Sure enough, Luna’s eyes shot open in panic before something unexpected happened. Her gaze turned predatory and a confident smile spread across her features as she pressed the side of her leg into the ridge and began making a kicking motion.

“Luna-” I was silenced by a light nip to my nose. Whether this would be a hilarious, for me, game of chicken or a new turn in our relationship, we would never know. We were interrupted by a certain white menace. 

Elsewhere, a pebble fell to the ground.

“You can be seen from the southern tower,” Celestia announced, her voice devoid of emotion. Luna eeped and fell off of the chair in horror. I simply stared Celestia down, unmoving and unblinking as I chose my next words carefully.

“And you managed to tear yourself away from your voyeurism to drop by,” I noted, “Were you looking to join in or was there some other reason you’re here?”

“I found this, I thought you’d want it back,” Celestia continued in her dead tone, levitating Luna’s bent and long forgotten crown.

“Keep it,” Luna managed through her shock, “I don’t need a crown for ponies to know who I am.”

“It is a symbol of your power and a gift from Mother besides,” Celestia insisted angrily, her rage beginning to break through her mask of disinterest.

“I said: keep it. I no longer wish to associate myself with either King Solarus or Queen Midnight, they were horrible to their subjects and to me. I don’t want my name attached to their legacy of neglect. And if you want me to wear that stupid crown so badly, maybe you should try it on and feel the sliver of metal Midnight left on the rim. Not large enough to cause any real pain, but enough to keep me from ignoring it,” Luna rebutted angrily, finding her hooves and confidence enough to rise defiantly.

“I refuse to believe anything of the sort,” Celestia attempted, clearly taken aback by Luna’s outburst.

“Put. It. On.” Luna commanded.

“No, you lying scandalous harlot, I will not!” Celestia yelled, throwing the crown at Luna. Luna in turn, stepped aside and allowed the heirloom to fall right off the side and into the open air. Celestia screamed in rage and charged her sister, furiously swinging her hooves and horn around. Luna held all the advantages however, being trained to fight enforcers.

Another pebble joined its brother.

Luna lazily dodged or blocked every strike Celestia threw at her. While the two of them would have seemed lightning fast to a normal pony, the combination of her alicorn physiology and her regular training with a few of the Gammas stationed on Abaddon made it seem like Celestia was moving in slow motion.

Celestia finally had enough and created an expanding ball of fire on her horn, causing Luna to step back in shock.

“You would destroy Canterlot over this petty feud?” Luna accused, charging a spell of her own. That caught my attention.

“The chance to finally be rid of that monster is worth the lives. Getting my status as the new queen solidified is an added bonus. Now die you unwanted-” The shot ripped off a solid two inches of Celestia’s tongue, sending her to the ground as she screamed in pain through a mouthful of blood. The spell she had been charging flickered and dissipated as she writhed in agony.

Three more pebbles were added to the growing pile.

“I told you I’d rip your fucking tongue out,” I said from my chair, my pistol held in my left hand and pointed at where Celestia lay.

“You don’t deserve to teach knitting, much less a personal protege on the subject of friendship,” Luna added dismissively before teleporting Celestia away.

“Will she heal from that?” I asked out of mild curiosity.

“Eventually. With any luck, it will take at least a month,” Luna replied, “Nice shot, by the way. I take back my misgivings for these weapons.”

“Thanks, that was actually my first shot where I was actually aiming,” I admitted.

“Then your accuracy was aided by fate itself,” Luna concluded, looking immensely pleased with the outcome.

“More like aided by the projectile, they correct in flight to hit whatever I want. Within reason, of course. I can’t shoot something behind me,” I corrected.

“I’m starting to wish I hadn’t promised to attend that dumb party, otherwise I could just leave a note on the courtroom door and be done with this dreadful place,” Luna grumbled.

“That was an option? Let’s just make a quick appearance and get the fuck outta Dodge before I have to kill off The Wardens,” I suggested, having no doubt that Celestia would find some way to sick her hunters on me.

“What’s their problem anyway?” Luna asked.

“Religious fanatics, kinda like the caribou but way less weird. They believe Chelly is the personification of their god, and her word is law. Alternately, I’m the direct cause of everything wrong with the world and have to die for Chelly to ascend, but I can only be killed by one of her champions. Namely, them. Problem is, while she’s still mortal she can be killed, which would obviously cause the world to implode,” I explained.

“They’re insane,” Luna clarified.

“Yep,” I agreed.

“And Tia tolerates this? I don’t think I could handle a bunch of ponies putting me on a pedestal like that,” Luna continued.

“You might have to after tonight. Beating Chelly in a fight always nets me a couple cults, though it’ll probably just mean some extra enthusiasm on Nightmare Night and a bit of hero worship,” I said.

“I’m still uncomfortable with the thought of ponies looking up to me like that,” Luna commented.

“Could always be worse, I have to keep an eye out for any that pop up in my name. They have a disturbing habit of trying to please me with ritual sacrifices,” I added.

“Disturbing indeed, how does one deal with these groups?” Luna asked.

“I used to personally visit each one and try to tell them off. When that didn’t work, I wrote them a gospel to follow. Turns out that telling people how to live is easier than it seems,” I explained.

“Might I see a copy of this book?” Luna requested. I waved towards her and Abaddon sent one to her with a tendril. Luna flipped through the massive tome, pausing on the fourth page before searching through the rest at an increased speed, “You only wrote three pages.”

“That’s right.”

“With one sentence per page.”

“Also correct.”

“I’d ask you what a prick is, but you’ve defined it well enough on page three. This might be both the best and worst religious text I have ever seen.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m not sure that was a compliment.”

“Doesn’t matter, that’s exactly what I was going for,” I announced, rising and walking over to look at the line Luna was studying.



Page: 2

Don’t be a prick.



“Told you it was easy.”

“And this works?” Luna asked, flipping to the first page.



Page: 1

No one may write in this book except the original author, Jekyll.



“Yeah, actually. I only had to deal with one pony who refused to believe I actually wrote it, Righteous Zeal. Though I don’t think you could’ve dealt with that situation the same way I did,” I answered.


Several years ago


“And that is why this heretical book is really an attempt by the false tyrant Celestia to lead us away from the majesty that is Lord Jekyll,” Righteous Zeal preached, so fixated on the book held in his magical grasp that he didn’t notice the earth pony mare that usually collected the offering walking up behind him.

“Shut the fuck up!” I shouted as I dropped my disguise and beat the unicorn with his own copy of my book.


Present day


“Good times,” I commented to no one.

“And they’re harmless afterwards?”

“They disband, no self respecting god would be that ridiculous. I have noticed however, that they always seem to be nicer than before.”

“Would you mind if I used this tome to do the same thing?” Luna asked.

“Plagiarism is beneath you, Luna,” I deadpanned.

“I’ll have to figure it out as I go, then,” Luna relented.

“One thing at a time. Right now, we need to get to the gardens before we’re late,” I reminded Luna, who just stared at me as she teleported both of us to our destination, “And we haven’t been doing that this whole time because?”

“Ah Mister Jekyll and Princess Luna I-I don’t know what I’ve walked into,” Fancy said as he turned to greet us, his eyes widening as they froze on me.

“I don’t know either, there’s a weird yellow haze over everything,” Luna added, swiping a hoof in front of her face in an attempt to clear her vision.

“That’s pollen, just be glad you don’t have my sense of smell. I have to disable it while I’m here just because of how many plants there are. But what were you talking about Fancy?” I asked, tracing the line of the stallion’s sight.

“My apologies Miss Jekyll, but you’re a little uncovered at the moment,” Fancy replied.

“You ponies and your modesty, what you need is some damn consistency,” I complained as I returned my form to normal, again.

“What do you mean by that?” Luna asked as she gave up on waving the pollen out of the air.

“You are both naked, but you have a problem with me being naked unless I’m genderless. I’m honestly tempted to call specist on the whole thing,” I said.

“I’m sorry it’s just that they seemed to be on display, and the-ahem-bedroom parts were at eye level,” Fancy apologized with a blush.

“Yes, I suppose they would be. Were you attempting to attract a mate, Jay?” Luna pressed, bumping me with her hip for emphasis.

“Teasing only works when that isn’t an option. Next time you talk to Chelly, ask her about ‘The Second Awakening’ before you beat her face into the ground,” I responded with a fang filled grin.

“What’s an awakening?” Fancy asked, confused.

“Be glad you do not know, I for one am terrified for the rest of the world that there was another one,” Luna replied, consciously avoiding answering the stallion’s question.

“Moving on,” I declared, diverting the conversation away from classified information, “I trust your guests have been staying away from the statue of Discord.”

“Of course, though I must admit to checking on it when I heard some odd sounds coming from the area,” Fancy admitted.

“It was probably just the guards I have stationed around it, nothing to worry about,” I said reassuringly.

“About your guards, I haven’t noticed any around. Did you forget to send them?” Fancy asked with a noticeably nervous edge to his voice.

“That means they’re doing their jobs, they’re supposed to go unseen until they’re needed,” I replied proudly.

“I see. Well, I’ll trust that you know what you’re doing. Please feel free to mingle with any of the other guests. Excuse me, I expect Princess Celestia will be arriving any moment,” Fancy said, stepping back to return to the other guests.

“Don’t hold your breath,” Luna commented quietly, however Fancy heard and returned to his previous position.

“Excuse me?”

“Chelly’s in the hospital, Fancy. I wouldn’t expect to hear from her for about a month,” I replied, smirking in Luna’s direction.

“Don’t you put this on me! You’re the one who put her there,” Luna argued, kicking my shin weakly.

“I didn’t start that fight,” I countered, Fancy was looking increasingly uncomfortable as he made another attempt to back away.

“You sure as hell finished it!” Luna shouted, leaning toward me.

“Right, ‘cause I’m just going to let her destroy Canterlot!” I yelled back.

Our argument was halted by the sound of a stone falling to the ground.

“Did you hear that,” I asked, my voice dropping. Fancy Pants froze, his eyes locked on a section of hedge to my left.

“One of yours?” Luna replied, just as quietly.

“Not likely,” I said as I crept around the hedge, my claws forming. On the other side, I found Discord’s statue. A quick inspection found a few pebbles and a larger rock at the base, but no visible sign of where they had come from.

“Anything?” Luna called from the other side.

“I don’t know, looks like someone had been tossing stones at the statue. Can’t see why, though,” I responded.

“Troubling, but there’s nothing we can do about it right now. Let’s get back and enjoy the party,” Luna suggested as she walked up.

“I suppose,” I conceded, turning to follow her back to the other ponies in the garden. I made sure to point at the statue with a claw before it was out of sight, a signal to the enforcers on guard to keep an eye on it.

Luna and I returned to the other guests and attempted to make small talk, finding none brave enough to approach either of us. 

“Seriously, none of these chickenshits will even talk to us?” I complained, leaning against a tree near the snack table where Luna was helping herself to some shame crackers.

“One would think that at least I would be approachable,” Luna whined, mirroring my thoughts. I had no expectation of finding an intelligent conversation with any of the ponies here except Luna, but I didn’t foresee her having the same problem. 

“No faith in me? It’s cool, me neither,” I joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I may not judge others for their appearance, but I’m not blind,” Luna jibed, walking over to poke at my ribs.

“Ow, my feelings. How will I ever recover from a wound of this nature?” I cried dramatically, falling to my knees for extra effect.

“Perhaps you should consider growing a personality to make up for it,” Luna suggested, facing away from the other guests so they couldn’t see her smile. I flinched as if struck, catching the attention of a few of the others.

“How could you, I thought we were friends? What will Abby do without your constant nagging?” I shot back.

“I am not a nag, I’m simply opinionated. And you can’t make me move out,” Luna declared with a huff.

“Nag,” I accused, rising.

“Stop it,” Luna ordered, stealing a glance behind her to find most of the other guests laughing quietly at the scene we were making.

“Not until you admit it,” I replied, proceeding to poke at her ears while chanting the word ‘Nag’ every couple seconds.

“Cut it out.”

Nag.”

“Jay.”

“Nag,” I continued before I was seized in a blue aura and lifted away, “Hey, no magic. Cheater.”

That broke them, our sibling style fight must have reminded them of similar times growing up. The entire party was openly laughing at our antics and pointing at each other accusingly, I noticed more than a few happy nods from the recipients of said incriminations.

“Thank you, I think we all needed that. How did you know that we had forgotten our roots?” a mare asked as she approached fearlessly. I shared a confused look with Luna.

“What?” we asked in unison.

“We’d allowed ourselves to become enthralled in the culture associated with nobility. We had forgotten how to have fun, we forgot how to be ponies,” the mare admitted sadly.

“Honestly, this is a typical Wednesday around us. I for one had no idea you needed the sticks pulled out of your asses,” I replied, earning myself a glare from Luna for being so blunt.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting that. Uh, how are you so easygoing then?” the still unnamed mare continued.

“It is fairly easy when one hangs around Jay for more than a few seconds, his distinct lack of decorum can be somewhat infectious,” Luna responded, smacking the back of my head with her wing for emphasis.

“Was that a crack at my biology? A little personal, don’t you think?” I accused, tossing Luna a sideways glance.

“You missed your chance, I have no intention of making the same mistake,” Luna replied smugly.

“Daddy’s girl,” I managed before I had to dodge a torrent of fire aimed at where I had been standing.

“Bastard, you know that’s a sore subject,” Luna called, searching for where I had disappeared to. I had simply gone straight up and latched onto the nearest wall.

“Hey Luna!” I called from my position on the wall, “You missed!”

“I can see that,” Luna noted, directing her attention to the tree in an attempt to coax me off the wall. I slid down the wall and rejoined the conversation when I was sure I wouldn’t become a matchstick.

“If I may, was all that really necessary?” the mare asked, visibly shaken by the extremity of our mock argument.

“Nope, but the usual pranks don’t work very well on immortals. We have usually seen them all before,” I replied.

“Speak for yourself, Jay. I would be delighted to engage in some more normal pranks. Perhaps the bucket of water on a cracked door one will be a good place to start,” Luna mused, “Say, I didn’t get your name.”

“I’m sorry Princess, my name is Silk Scarf. It’s an honor to meet you both,” the mare replied.

“Does your whole family follow the clothing theme?” I asked curiously, expecting Fancy to have been an outlier.

“Oh, yes. Well, except for Fleur, but she married into the family,” Silk answered.

“Fleur De Lis? I’m guessing she married Fancy,” I said.

“His brother Khaki actually, he’s just over there,” Silk replied, pointing at a tan stallion busying himself with getting a punch stain out of his shirt.

“Really, I’ve always seen her with Fancy?” I pressed, more for clarification than gossip. Luna, on the other hand, leaned in to hear as much as possible.

“They’re close, really close. Khaki either doesn’t care or he hasn’t noticed, I’m betting on a bit of both. Khaki got the money, Fancy got the brains,” Silk whispered, all too eager to gossip about her family members.

“And they call us scandalous,” Luna commented.

“Excuse me?” Silk asked, now her turn to be confused.

“Jay and I, we aren’t like that, but we’re close as well,” Luna admitted even quieter than Silk had been, forcing the mare to strain to hear her.

“Until we got busted during a game of chicken, anyway,” I added, shaking my head.

“What’s chicken?” Silk continued, her confusion growing with every answer.

“Two players usually, both try to make the other uncomfortable until one gives up. It can get a little suggestive sometimes,” I explained.

“Is that what we’ve been doing? I never had a name for it. You are undoubtedly in the lead,” Luna conceded, bowing in acknowledgement of my skills.

“Are you sure you’re just friends?” Silk asked, her expectation clear in her voice, “I do read the newspapers.”

“Yes, but did you see anything this morning about Celestia admitting to war crimes?” I responded eagerly.

“No, but there was something about an attempt on her life on page three,” Silk replied, sending me into a tirade of curses and insults.

“She fucking knew, Lu. She knew they wouldn’t print the story, she’s just sitting there laughing at us right now,” I raged.

“I highly doubt my sister is laughing at anything right now, you took away her favorite toy,” Luna said placatingly, walking over and placing one of her forehooves on my shoulder to calm me down.

“Do you two ever say anything without leaving out crucial details?” Silk asked in frustration.

“Don’t expect to hear from Chelly for about a month or so,” I warned.

“I see, I won’t pry any further,” Silk replied nervously, quickly retreating to the safety of her extended family.

“There goes another one. I’m getting a drink,” Luna declared, setting off for the punch bowl without waiting for my reply.

“Don’t leave me in this creepy ass place,” I complained loudly as I hurried to catch up.

“Hey Jay, why didn’t you help me fight Tia?” Luna asked as she filled her cup with punch.

“Not my fight,” I answered simply, “You want a little extra kick in that?”

“Really? Are we back on the whole ‘not my problem’ thing?” Luna asked angrily.

“Let me clarify my reasoning. If I got involved in every little thing I came across, I’d end up either ruling the world or destroying it. Believe it or not, I actually like the status quo the way it is right now. The way I balance that out is by not getting involved unless I’m actively affected by the outcome or I’m responsible for it in the first place,” I replied diplomatically, “You didn’t answer my question. Do you want alcohol in that drink or not?”

“Yes, please. I think I’ll need it to tolerate your shenanigans tonight.”

“I have never shenaniganed in my life, thank you very much,” I argued as I sent a tendril into Luna’s cup and added enough alcohol to make it equivalent to wine.

“At least there’s this,” Luna acknowledged thankfully as she downed her entire drink in one gulp and refilled her cup, looking at me expectantly.

“Don’t you get drunk now. We have plans for tonight, remember?” I chided, converting her third cup.

“Yeah I know, it’s just been a long day,” Luna groaned, actually sipping this one.

“Almost over at least. Look, Fancy’s getting ready for a speech or something. We should probably join the others,” I suggested, leading Luna over to a pair of empty seats. I noticed that both of them were larger than the rest and I suspected that these were reserved for Luna and her sister, I took one of them without a hint of shame as Fancy began talking to the partygoers. ‘What’s with the weird getup? He wasn’t wearing that earlier.’

“Honored guests, beloved family, thank you all so much for coming. I’d like to celebrate by having us all wear these cloaks in the spirit of the night, as our lovely Princess is here with us,” Fancy announced, levitating out a stack of dark blue cloaks emblazoned with white spots that resembled constellations. It was difficult to see through the pollen in the air, but it seemed like his magic was a slightly different color than usual. Dismissing the thought, I passed one to Luna and took another for myself. Luna accepted the cloak with a noncommittal shrug and wrapped it around her shoulders, I followed suit a moment later.

“Rather kind of you, Sir Pants, though I don’t understand the gesture,” Luna called out in a reasonable facsimile of gratitude.

“You’ll know soon enough, Witch,” Fancy’s mouth said, but with a different voice. The stallion began laughing maniacally as he tore off his own garment, revealing his exposed spine and broken ribs. 

Fancy Pants had clearly been dead for several minutes, as his blood was beginning to clot around the remains of his shredded coat. I absently noted that his organs and most of his ribs were missing as well, though my attention was mostly drawn to the fact that I could no longer feel anything below my neck.

“Do you all like my little gifts? I invented the spell myself, it begins with paralysis, then comes the feeling of being choked as your lungs and heart stop functioning and you die,” Whoever was controlling Fancy’s corpse laughed. Luna’s eyes went wide as she stopped breathing.

“Hey dick cheese, did you forget about me?” I shouted before my head exploded into a dozen thrashing tendrils. I focused on removing Luna’s cloak first, as mine wasn’t hurting me.

Once I had blindly freed Luna, I directed the tendrils to shred my own cloak and restore me to my full power. That completed, I stood and burst my arms into more tendrils to save the rest of the guests before they could be claimed by this insane stallion.

“Damnit,” I swore as the last of the cursed cloaks fell to the ground, Luna and I were the only survivors.

“You live,” the mysterious voice noted, “Oh well, I suppose the death of an entire noble family should still be enough chaos to free him.”

“No,” Luna and I echoed in horror as a thundercrack split the night. No, not thunder. Stone. The sound of stone cracking and falling to the ground, “GAMMAS! Attack!”

As one, two hundred and forty Gamma type enforcers descended on the bizarre creature that was calmly walking out of a tree on the wrong side of the garden. The creature lifted its lion paw and snapped its ‘fingers.’ My small army of guards hit the ground as enforcer shaped marshmallows.

“Luna, find the fucked up pony that did this, I’ve got this bastard,” I ordered, placing myself between the princess and the convict. It was just like my old days in the Order of Iron, placing myself and my legion between some monster or demon and whoever had hired us. Though now I was without my legion, or my guards. 

‘Old days, indeed,’ I thought with a feral smile, my form lengthening and growing another set of arms as my legs split at the knee for better stability. The tendrils that served as my hair came alive and rose towards the threat menacingly as I adopted my preferred fighting configuration, long blades on my upper arms and claws on the lower ones.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, name’s Discord,” the creature said amicably, extending its gryphon talon towards me for a handshake.

“You stole my bit, that’s how I introduce myself. I’m Jekyll, last legate of the Order of Iron and warden of the Everfree forest,” I replied with a low growl, ignoring the outstretched talon.

“Oh, I know. You see, in that dreadful statue, I still had most of my sensory capabilities. I could be everywhere and nowhere. I’m not going to fight you, Jay, I owe you too much.”

“Don’t call me that,” I snapped, both verbally and physically, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Why you’re the reason I’m free, of course. You’ve caused so much delicious chaos over the years that I’ve been able to chip away at that damnable prison until that wonderful fight earlier finally gave me enough power to break free, this little show was just too perfect of an opportunity of pass up,” Discord explained, I dismissed his words as the ravings of a madman. I was downright boring... most of the time.

“What do you want?” I growled, my teeth and jaw assuming the more bestial form they adopted when I got angry.

“The same as you, my friend, the chance to live freely.”

“I’m not your fucking friend. I might’ve believed you if Luna hadn’t told me about how you killed her parents and drove the world insane,” I countered, brandishing my claws as I advanced.

“Killed them? I’ve never killed anyone, there’s nothing more boring than a corpse,” Discord argued from behind me, turning I found him looking under the table. After a couple seconds, he reached under and pulled out a six layer wedding cake.

“How-Never mind. You say you didn’t tear out their souls?” I questioned.

“Oh, I did. But they aren’t dead, they’re just stuck in some rock I found,” Discord answered as he ate the entire cake in one bite, with a fork.

“And the insane world you created?” I pressed, adding a few thousand bladed tendrils to my back to discourage Discord from trying that trick again.

“I am the rightful ruler of this world, should a god not craft the world as he sees fit?” Discord rebutted.

“Fuck, not another one. Chelly’s bad enough with that shit,” I complained, causing Discord to drop onto a mound of stuffed animals in laughter.

“Got you. Believe it or not, I do have a plan for how to keep everything interesting for the next few millennia rattling around in here,” Discord continued, shaking his head and producing a sound akin to a steel ball in a can.

“When you say it like that, you sound a little too much like a daemon of Tzeentch for my liking,” I commented in my best impression of Magnus the Red from a certain YouTube series, returning my face to normal to do so.

“Do I look like a demon to you?” Discord shouted angrily.

“Yeah and I eat demons, bitch,” I responded with another feral grin as I charged.
> Chapter 13: Inconvenient Truths
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Too afraid to face me, Discord?” I taunted as my punch tore a hole in the wall where Discord had been leaning casually.

“I told you that I don’t want to fight you. Being the avatar of chaos doesn’t make me a liar,” Discord replied, sounding annoyed. I smirked, thinking that I was finally getting under my opponent’s skin.

“Tough, one of us dies tonight. It’s not going to be me,” I declared confidently, digging my toes into the stone floor to charge again. Our ‘fight’ had taken us out of the gardens and through several walls towards the heart of the castle.

“Do you know what the definition of insanity is?” Discord asked as he disappeared out of my grip, again.

“I do, but it doesn’t apply here. You’ll slip eventually,” I prophesied.

“If you are dead set on fighting me, could I at least add some music?” Discord requested as I rounded on him again, causing me to pause.

“That’s usually my thing, but go ahead. I wouldn’t mind a tune to fight to,” I agreed. Discord smiled as the air vibrated with his chosen song, “Oh hell no, that is not a song anything could tolerate, much less fight to. Here, this is how it’s done.”

“Ow, my ears,” Discord complained.

“Does it bother you? That’s what a fighting song sounds like. Plus, it’s a pretty good cover,” I countered, the claws of my left hand shifting into long tendrils and raking the area Discord’s voice had come from.

“It concerns me that you would be so insensitive about property damage,” Discord commented, continuing his trend of appearing behind me.

“Fight me like a man!” I demanded, whirling on him in a flurry of blades and tendrils.

“Isn’t that like saying ’anypony’? Either way, I’d rather fight you like a draconequus,” Discord replied, lifting his talon and conjuring a shield to block my attack.

“Finally getting serious? Gonna stop running away like a coward?” I asked, smirking as my tendrils spread around his shield. Once they had either found an edge or fully engulfed him, my grip would tighten and he’d be open for a good mauling.

“No, I’m going to end this before you destroy more of this place. My plans hinge on Celestia living here, after all,” Discord whispered into my ear. I found myself being lifted by an auraless telekinesis field and turned to face the self proclaimed avatar of chaos.

“Ha! Is that all you’ve got? Teleportation and telekinesis? What a joke,” I laughed. My body primed to launch tendrils in every direction, a sure way to break a telekinetic hold was to add as much strain as possible.

“Don’t worry, I’ll turn you back before you spoil,” Discord promised. My attack fired before he could snap his paw, causing me to drop out of my enemy’s hold. 

I hit the ground running and had one of my blades sheathed in Discord’s shoulder in a fraction of a second, the other joining the first immediately afterward. Using the blades to hold him still, I ran my remaining claw through his stomach and forced my tendril hand down his throat. Meeting the first, I slashed mercilessly at his organs and attempted to tear them out. Discord’s hollow corpse hit the ground a moment later, his organs discarded and tossed haphazardly around us.

“Rookie ass mistake,” I said in disappointment, “As if I wouldn’t know how to break out of telekinesis.”

“I’ll remember that,” Discord said from his perch on the windowsill.

“Should’ve stayed dead, now I’m pissed,” I responded threateningly. 


Perspective change: Luna
Fifteen minutes ago


‘Guard, where’s a guard? I really need a guard right now.’ I sprinted down the hall as fast as my legs would carry me, searching for somepony, anypony, that could raise the alarm. The halls were all empty, the only signs of life being the occasional potted plant. As I gave up on my search and slowed to a stop, I was able to hear something. Somepony was running toward where I had stopped, their movements previously concealed by my own.

“Hello?” I called toward the sound, which faltered before I heard a crash. Fearing that my shout had caused somepony to injure themselves, I took off for where I had heard the crash.

“Ow,” A small voice complained as I rounded the corner, finding an off-white unicorn among the remains of one of the decorative plants.

“Miss Silk, are you okay?” I asked, levitating the mare out of the wreckage.

“Just a bump, I’ll-fiddlesticks,” Silk attempted before going wide eyed at the sound of her voice, it was a stallion’s voice. The same voice Fancy Pants’s corpse had spoken with when his family had been murdered. ‘I’d count this fortunate, but now I’m alone with a murderer. No, I can do this. Jay wouldn’t be afraid of one mare.’

“You’re coming with-oof,” I grunted as a wave of force threw me away from the homicidal pony. I scrambled to get back to my hooves before Silk could escape. 

“You can’t take me, I’ve worked too hard for this moment!” Silk raved as she fled. She was getting away and I couldn’t find purchase on the smooth floor.

“Damn these shoes,” I swore as I kicked myself into the air and spread my wings. I kicked off the offending hoofwear as I flew and held them in my telekinetic aura as I chased down Silk.


Perspective change: Jekyll


“You’ll have to beat me two more times, even I’m bound by some rules. In this case, the rule of threes,” Discord explained, summoning a visor and pair of glasses to look like an old timey accountant.

“One,” I corrected, spearing a tendril through his skull before he could look confused, “If that’s how you want to play, then I’m done holding back.”

“So will I then,” Discord agreed, snapping both his talon and paw at once. I was instantly assailed by a feeling similar to being hit with the Elements, I could feel my body converting into another material. I managed to fight it off using the same method I had used when Nightmare Moon and I had been hit, though it left me considerably weaker. Discord looked shocked that I was still standing, much less charging at him. Now that I had unlocked my full capability, I could see that Discord wasn’t teleporting. He had been running away and then posing in his new positions to mock me. Now that I was moving at the same pace, he was scared.

“That’s why you were so quiet, I was wondering why I couldn't hear you teleport,” I commented once I had forced Discord into a dead end hallway. Discord began snapping his talon and paw frantically, though nothing happened.

“What are you?” Discord asked in a panic, backing away until his back pressed against the wall.

“I told you I was going all out, that includes the power of every demon I've ever eaten. Apparently they don’t like being turned into other things,” I commented with a chuckle as my teeth lengthened. A glance at my reflection as I passed a window revealed that smoke was rising from my solid red eyes.

“Demons? They’re nothing!” Discord shouted as I pounced. I heard a snap as I flew, but somehow missed my target. I hit the wall with a crunch as my arm and a few ribs broke, landing in a heap a few seconds later. 

I attempted to rise but found myself too weak to do so. This wasn’t right, I still had plenty of biomass and hadn’t taken any losses from that crash. Then why was I in pain? Why wouldn’t my arm reform like I was telling it to? Where did the other two go? I finally looked at my broken left arm in frustration, finding it a pinkish tan instead of its normal black.


Perspective change: Luna


“Gotcha!” I shouted as I tackled Silk into a doily covered table.

“Noo, I can’t fail, I’m too close,” Silk whimpered as she continued to crawl toward the next junction, her right hind leg bent at an odd angle from the impact.

“You have failed to escape, Silk. Will you surrender with dignity?” I asked, moving to block her path. I was hit with another telekinetic wave and pushed out of the mare’s way, though this time I remained on my hooves.

“Papa, please, help me,” the clearly insane mare begged.

“You killed your father, and you will not escape me again,” I declared, conjuring a set of translucent manacles and advancing once more.

“You can’t,” Silk pleaded, looking at me and allowing me to see the lines of tears running down her face, “He’s right there, I just wanted to see him once. I just wanted to make him proud.”

“You are insane, I’ll see that you receive proper treatment,” I stated as I levitated the manacles over to Silk and attached them to her forehooves.

“Princess, I’m sorry,” Silk whispered as I walked over to ensure the manacles were on correctly.

“Then there may be some hope for you yet,” I commented. Satisfied with the manacles, I lifted Silk and turned toward the general direction of the guard barracks.

“Not for that, for this!” Silk screamed. I felt a pain in my side and my magic faltered, allowing Silk to make another mad run toward the hallway her ‘papa’ was apparently in. I recognized the wound quickly, I had inflicted the same type several times. She had stabbed me with her horn, fortunately both her horn and the wound were rather small. I paid the small hole next to my wing no mind as I chased after the murderer, she’d simply have an assault charge as well. 

“You will not escape,” I promised, my composure breaking.


Perspective change: Jekyll


“What did you do?” I attempted to growl, though it came out as a pained whimper as my broken ribs pressed into my lungs.

“You are what you eat isn’t a phrase anymore, not for you anyway,” Discord gloated. He had beaten me, stripped me of my powers and graced me with what could be a mortal wound in one movement. I had lost.

“NO!” I’m done losing, I found a familiar shape lying off to my left and I dove for it. Rising with my pistol in my left hand, I gripped the handle and willed it to fire on the one who had taken my abilities. The weapon dropped from my hand before I followed it to the ground, convulsing in pain. My own sidearm had torn the skin off my already broken arm to form the projectile.

I was vaguely aware of Luna charging down the hallway after an almost pink unicorn, Silk, I recognized the mare Luna and I had conversed with earlier. She seemed nice, why did Luna look so angry at her? My vision began to swim as I faded from consciousness. Discord looked at Luna, allowing me to see the spike sticking out of his gut. His talon rising and fingers moving to snap at her returned me to full awareness in an instant. With a roar I didn’t know I could do, I swept up my only remaining weapon and fired everything I had into Discord’s talon, arm and chest. A few seconds later my pistol stopped working, the cause became apparent as it and several bones clattered to the ground. My bones, everything past my left elbow was gone, converted into the spikes fired by my pistol. The pain seemed so far away. Whether this was because of my body going into shock from the amount of blood I was losing or my rage pushing it out of my mind, I didn’t know and didn’t care.

Discord looked surprised that I had effectively sacrificed myself to protect Luna, but I wasn’t paying much attention to him. I was too busy attempting to finish breaking one of my discarded bones on the floor to make a new weapon. I knew only hate in that moment, as the bone finally gave in and I sprinted at Discord for one last charge.

Discord appeared to vibrate as he attempted to move out of my way and found himself stopped by Luna’s telekinetic grip as both Silk and her ran past me towards the dead end, Luna winking as she passed.

I lept as I reached Discord, my legs pinning his arms to his sides and my teeth latching onto his deer style antler. I felt my teeth crack and break as Discord toppled over from the impact, my bone dagger in his neck before he hit the ground. I kept stabbing for several seconds until Luna attempted to pull me off, I barely heard her say something about medical attention. Ignoring her, I stabbed my blade into Discord’s eye and kicked it into his brain case as Luna lifted me off of him and onto her back.

“You win,” Discord said from behind Luna as she tried to walk away. I jumped back to my feet and promptly fell over, too weak to even stand, no matter my determination.

“Liar,” I accused with what might have been my last breath, I could see how pale I was getting.

“Nope. I admit defeat, you are the better fighter. My plans are for naught and I am the failure here,” Discord replied soberly. I would rage at being mocked on my deathbed, but I couldn’t find the energy to care. I couldn’t feel my legs or arms, I was dying. I knew my fate was sealed when I started that last attack.

“Jay, no, fight back! I can’t lose you like this,” Luna cried as she grabbed my limp neck and tried to force my blood back into my veins, her powerful alicorn legs only serving to break both of my collarbones. 

“All he needs to do is ask and I’ll fix him, one last favor before I retire,” Discord taunted in his own way.

I was ready to finally die, Tzu could pick up where I had left off and handle the rogue threat on his own. But feeling Luna sob against my face gave me a feeling I hadn’t felt in too long, the feeling of being loved and reciprocating that feeling. I wanted to live for her, my pride be damned.

“Please,” I mouthed, unable to breathe as my lungs shut down. 

I heard a snapping sound as my vision faded, my veins flaring back to life as everything came back in force at the sound. My eyes shot back open as I seized from the strain of my genetic code rewriting itself. I could feel my skin peeling away to expose the blackened hide I had grown accustomed to. Luna tried to hold me still to prevent me from harming myself, but she was eventually forced away as my strength returned. Flopping onto my back, I attempted to scream as my bones shattered themselves and rearranged, but was instead met with the feeling of tendrils forcing their way out of my throat to eat away and reconstruct my face. I felt every cell in my body die, one by one, until the tendrils engulfing my head finally drove themselves though my skull and into my brain. I greeted unconsciousness like an old friend.

When I returned to the land of the living, the pain was gone. Luna had returned to cradling me at some point, though she looked considerably worse for wear. Her usual silver regalia lay bent and discarded a few feet away, exposing a few small bruises and cuts. Luna's wings hadn't fared much better, as several of her feathers were sticking out at odd angles. I wrapped both of my arms around her gratefully and held her close as I met Discord’s gaze, “Thank you.”

“I would’ve anyway. Like I said, nothing more boring than a corpse,” Discord said with a shrug, turning to walk away, “Oh, and I left you a little something extra too, you’ll find it when you’re truly happy and not a moment before.”

Discord was gone, I’d failed to kill him. But I didn’t care, I was alive.

“Hey Lu? Let’s get out of here,” I suggested. Luna refused to let go of me, so I simply carried her back to Abaddon and into our room. Finding myself weaker than before, though still considerably stronger than I had been a few minutes ago. I wouldn’t be leaving the safe confines of my leviathan until my biomass was back into its normal levels, a Mike could’ve killed me as I was.

“I’m scared,” Luna admitted as I laid both of us onto our bed.

“Why?”

“I’m scared that my mind is breaking again and that this is a hallucination. I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I open my eyes, will it be my friend or the Nightmare looking back at me,” Luna expanded, I shifted how I was holding her to see that she had her eyes tightly clenched shut.

“Luna, it’s me. It’ll always be me. I’ll never scare you like that again, I promise,” I said softly. Luna set her horn on my shoulder and pressed her face into my chest, beginning to cry again. I ran my hand over her mane and onto her back as she wept, waiting for her to calm down. After several minutes, Luna lifted her head and hesitantly opened a single eye.

“Hey guys, mind if I crash on your couch for a while? I swear it’ll only be until I can find my own place,” Discord asked, ruining the mood.

“We don’t have a-Does it count as staying on our couch if you provide the couch?” I asked, bewildered. 

“Discord, if you wish to stay here, I’m sure Jay could find a less intrusive place for you,” Luna added pointedly, clearly not wanting the draconequus anywhere near her.

“I get the feeling that you don’t want me around. Fine, I can tell when I’m not wanted,” Discord huffed, turning to stroll right back out of the room. The door slammed shut at the snap of my fingers.

“I can do that too,” I bragged. I slammed my palm against the wall and my form filled out as I absorbed just enough from Abaddon to return me to fighting shape, “Out there, you might be on the level of a god. But now you’re in my house, I’m the only one who calls the shots around here.”

“So that’s your plan, just keep fighting me until there’s nothing left of either of us?” 

“Nope, but there are a few rules to living under my roof. Number one: you are not staying in this room, period. Number two: never enter a room without knocking, you don’t know what you’ll find on the other side. Trust me, that one’s for your sake. Number three: no magic, it’s cheating and cheaters are bad. Number four: Tzu is my second in command, he’ll get you squared away. Listen to what he tells you, his word is law. Abaddon.”

“I have already contacted Tzu, he is currently waiting outside,” the walls said.

“Excellent, send him in,” I ordered.

“Then you’re going to let me stay here?” Discord asked excitedly, bouncing in anticipation, “Oh we’re going to have so much fun, we can play Scrabble and braid Lulu’s hair and prank Tia and I’m so happy.”

“That-that actually sounds pretty tame from what I’ve heard. What happened to conquering the world?” I asked, settling back down next to an irate Luna.

“I never expected you to let me win, though I didn’t expect you to go that far either. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what went wrong last time, and I decided that the world was chaotic enough without me. Seriously, have you seen out there? A war on the horizon, assassins roaming the streets, YOU, the E.O.H. are divided for the first time in history, and on top of it all, the greatest threat to Equestria since my glory days slipped through your claws. At this point, I’d much rather bask in it than anything else,” Discord replied honestly, shrugging.

“We’re going to Ponyville, I expect you to be on your best behavior while we’re there. If Shy and her friends have to make you a statue again, I’ll throw you in a volcano. Then I’ll find a way to throw the volcano into Tartarus. Savvy? Good. Tzu, get Discord settled into his own room and make sure he has everything he needs,” I ordered. Tzu just looked at me. If I didn’t know he was a near unstoppable killing machine, I’d confuse him with a kicked puppy. 

“Yes, sir. Please, this way,” Tzu said dejectedly, leading Discord out of the room.

“Well, that happened,” Luna commented.

“Yep, kinda glad that he’s here though. Rather have him somewhere I can see him than out in the world,” I agreed. I flipped myself over Luna so I could hug her back, my arms wrapping around her stomach, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Luna asked, confused. Though that didn’t stop her from leaning into me.

“You saved me back there, I would’ve died just to spite Discord. But being human again, as much as it hurt, let me feel things I haven't felt in way too long,” I continued, tightening my grip slightly.

“Jay, I-I’m afraid to ask. Are you talking about…” Luna trailed off.

“No, I’m talking about the searing pain from when you broke even more of my bones,” I responded sarcastically, “Yes, I’m talking about love. You ponies are so dramatic.”

“And now?”

“Sorry to say, it’s back to the drawing board on that one. I can remember though,” I added sorrowfully, I really wanted the answer to be that simple.

“Hey Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“You were naked.”

“And?”

“Not impressed.”

“Fuck you. Fucking spoiled ass horse people, how am I supposed to compete with that?” I ranted, aware that I was only causing Luna to laugh harder. After a moment’s decision, I released my hold and allowed Luna to fall off the bed.

“Ow. It’s still funny,” Luna insisted.

“I’ll give you that, it was funny. But not that funny, calm down. I’m going topside, care to join me?” I requested, hopping off the bed and offering a hand to help Luna up. I noticed a line of dried blood on her side as she stood, “You got hurt?”

“I did. But it was shallow and has already healed,” Luna replied, looking back at the spot. I sent a tendril over and cleaned the area to check for myself.

“So it has, sometimes I forget you aren’t as fragile as other ponies. Anyway, you coming?” I asked again.

“Sure, though I still need to inform the court of my absence. And Tia’s,” Luna replied, her tone turning sour. 

“Just teleport in, tack a note on the door, and skedaddle. How hard can it be?” I asked, resting my left hand on Luna’s neck as we started our trip.

“How do I explain everything that happened today in one note? Nopony believes me anyway, maybe we should just go,” Luna replied, sounding defeated.

“Nope, I won’t let you run from your problems. Now, unless you can teleport out of my grip, we’re going to settle this,” I declared, cluing Luna in to my plan.

“Uh, Jay? I can teleport out of your grip,” Luna pointed out.

“Oh, Chelly can’t. That’s why I’ve been either disabling her magic or grabbing at her at the start of all our fights.”

“I’ve only seen you disable her,” Luna added, looking at me suspiciously.

“It’s easier, and faster, and I don’t have to touch her,” I explained, shuddering dramatically.

“Yes, we all know how much you like touching mares,” Luna teased, bumping me with her hip.

“Are you attempting to distract me with your feminine wiles, Luna? And right after I died, legally speaking, for shame,” I chided playfully, messing up her mane. A flash returned it to normal the second I removed my hand.

“Let’s not talk about that for a while, at least until I can convince myself this isn’t an illusion my mind has conjured while the Nightmare kills everyone,” Luna requested, my joke reminding her of her current fears. A tear slowly escaped her left eye as she paused, we had barely made it halfway to the exit.

“Luna, I’m no illusion. Besides, would Nightmare Moon think of including my terrible luck?” I pressed, making myself slightly shorter to look her in the eyes.

“I don’t know, she had my memories last time. She might ha-mmmmmmmmmm” Luna began before I silenced her with a panicked kiss, I didn’t know how else to break this spiral she had entered.

“I. Am. Real. I don’t know how else I can prove it to you,” I insisted, breaking the kiss but holding her head in place.

“I do, the state I was in before was similar to a dream until the Nightmare had full control of me. I couldn’t feel pain, but she was too strong by the time I figured that out. I need you to hit me,” Luna ordered. Her tone brooked no argument, but I did anyway.

“Not happening.”

“Please, it’s the only way I can know for sure,” Luna begged.

“I said no. If it’s pain you need, I can do something less drastic. Like a needle or igniting a nerve, anything else,” I pressed, taking to the thought like a snail to salt.

“Small things like that might be replicated, if she has enough time. And you’re stalling,” Luna argued. I sighed.

“I can’t talk you out of this, can I?” Luna shook her head. “And you’ll believe me afterwards?” She nodded. “Fine, ten percent.”

I did it. I felt horrible about it but I punched Luna in the chest, sending her tumbling back down the hallway to land on her back. I ran over as she lay still, gasping to return the air to her lungs. More tears streamed down her face as she fought for oxygen, only adding to my guilt.

“Are you okay?” I asked fearfully, sending tendrils between her ribs to reinflate her lungs.

“I’ve never been so happy to be wrong,” Luna replied haltingly as she slowly regained her breath.

“Does anything feel broken?” I continued. 

“No, I’m alright. Thank you,” Luna finally answered, causing me to feel even worse.

“Don’t thank me for this, I-I have a spear in my back,” I commented, the distraction derailing my train of thought, “Okay, which one of the three stooges thought he could hurt me?”

“Step away from the Princess, you are under arrest,” an unfamiliar voice commanded.

“Abaddon, how many ponies are wandering these halls?” I asked, ignoring the guard as I stood.

“There are currently twelve lunar guards housed on the lower levels,” Abaddon replied dutifully.

“Confine them to their quarters until they figure out how to avoid getting themselves killed. Take extra care of this one,” I ordered, glaring over my shoulder at the witless guard.

“Soitenly,” Abaddon agreed. The unknown guard was torn into the floor faster than a typical pony could blink. I assumed that Abaddon wouldn’t be too rough, he seemed like too much of a softy to actually hurt the pony.

“We still need to tell the court,” Luna wheezed, returning to her hooves and brushing the nonexistent dust off of her shoulder.

“Sure, just as soon as I make sure you don’t have any cracked ribs,” I offered, stepping closer and extending my hand.

“They’re waiting on me, can’t you do this later?” Luna protested as my tendrils swarmed over her chest and inspected every inch of her ribs. 

“Already done, and we’re leaving right afterwards. I’m done running around this place like an idiot,” I insisted, retracting my tendrils and leading the way onto the deck.

“It has been a rough couple of days,” Luna agreed, charging her horn to teleport both of us. A flash later, we were standing in the courtroom.

“Should’ve known he’d be here too. I swear I’ll never understand this new princess,” A noble muttered under her breath.

“~I swear I’ll never understand this new princess,~ that’s what you sound like,” I parroted in the mare’s voice, though loud enough for the room to hear.

“Jay, having a bad day is no excuse for poor manners,” Luna scolded lightly, moving to address the crowd.

“You’re right. My apologies if my temper is a little short tonight, I fucking died less than an hour ago,” I said to the crowd, my voice bordering on a snarl.

“But, you’re standing right there,” one of the petitioners pointed out.

“I got better.” 

“Ehem! If I may have your attention for a moment, I’d like to make an announcement,” Luna declared, “This will be the last session of the night court for some time. As this is due to safety issues, I do not know how long this leave of absence will last. Therefore, any petitions that require my approval may be sent to Ponyville, the local post office will know where to find me. I am not hiding from these threats, I am moving the danger away from all of you in the interests of your safety. Ponyville is small enough that it should be relatively easy to defend and, indeed, is well defended already. I will not run from the dangers of this world, but neither will I place others in danger for the sake of my pride. Thank you.”

The courtroom erupted as Luna calmly walked off the dais towards the main doors, her head held high. I fell into step next to her and growled menacingly at any of the ponies who decided to get too close, partially to reinforce Luna’s half lie but mostly because of my already frayed nerves. Once the doors closed behind us, Luna’s horn flashed and we were back on Abaddon.

“Turn us around Abby, it’s time to go home,” I ordered tiredly. Abaddon didn’t waste time with any response other than beginning his descent down the mountain.

“That could’ve gone better,” Luna commented sourly.

“I thought it went pretty well, all things considered,” I countered.

“I don’t like lying.”

“I know, but did you? Since you’ve come back, I’ve counted four attempts on your life. Four. That’s a lot,” I argued, silencing Luna as she thought about it.

“I suppose it is, compared to a normal pony’s life,” Luna agreed after a moment. A concerning thought struck me, and I wondered briefly about the wisdom of relocating to Ponyville.

“Hey Lu, quick question. How do you feel about Shy and her friends?” I asked, hiding my nervousness with a curious tone.

“Who?”

“The new bearers of the Elements,” I clarified.

“Ah, them. They saved me from an eternity of torment, take a guess,” Luna replied with an equal measure of gratitude and sarcasm.

“Okay, good. I was worried that you might be afraid of the Elements or something,” I said, relief sinking into my voice.

“Because their power was used to seal me in the moon? I deserved it back then, it was the objectively right thing to do. Actually the right thing to do would have been to kill me, but locking me away until I could be redeemed works too,” Luna mused, lying down and rolling onto her back as Abaddon made a chair for her. ‘He spoils her. Meh, so do I.’

“Slow on down, Abby. We’ve got nothing but time,” I ordered casually as I moved to sit in a chair that wasn’t there yet, assuming Abaddon would take the hint and retrieve my chair. He didn’t.

“Jay? You okay down there?” Luna chuckled.

“Peachy.”

“My apologies, sir. The terrain threatened to shift and required my full attention,” Abaddon said as he formed a secondary head next to where I was laying.

“Funny, just get my chair before I grill you for lying to me,” I admonished, refusing to get up.

“They can lie?” Luna asked, her head swiveling to focus on Abaddon’s secondary.

“Of course they can,” I replied, looking back in surprise. The enforcers may not lie often, but it wasn’t impossible.

“Have they lied to me?” Luna pressed, beginning to look offended.

“Probably, I don’t know what you’ve asked them. There are a lot of things they won’t tell you.”

“Oh, I suddenly feel considerably less safe,” Luna admitted, squirming in her chair slightly.

“Bah, they’ll keep you safe just fine. They’ll only lie to protect my secrets, mostly stuff about the Kingdom,” I responded dismissively. I was finally relaxed enough to enjoy the trip, Abaddon had forced my chair through the floor directly beneath me. Reaching into the side pocket, I retrieved what was left of my cigarettes and my lighter, “Hey Lu, shouldn’t the sun be up by now?”

“Tia must not be up to it today, I’ll have to do it by myself,” Luna noted, lighting her horn. Within moments the moon had dipped below the horizon. The sun still hadn’t risen though, and Luna’s horn glowed brighter as she grunted in exertion.

“Are you okay?” I asked, concerned about how much difficulty Luna was having.

“I’m fine, this stupid thing doesn’t want to move. Ah hah, got it, it doesn’t like being forced into position, just a gentle nudge to wake up,” Luna replied with a calm smile as her horn dimmed and the sun rose on its own.

“I didn’t understand a word of that, but I’ll trust in your expertise,” I admitted, returning Luna’s smile.

“Could I have one of those? Those seem to calm you down quite a bit and I think I could use that right now,” Luna requested as I lit one and took a pull.

“First hit sucks, it gets easier after that. But there is a pretty high risk of addiction and they’re terrible for you, I’ll give you one if I get to inspect your lungs and esophagus first,” I offered as a compromise.

“Why?” Luna asked, confused by my seemingly odd deal.

“So I can make you a new set when the ones you have turn black and die in a few decades,” I warned.

“I-wow, I didn’t expect that. Why do you do that to yourself?” Luna asked, horrified.

“No lungs, immune to cancer, nigh unkillable, take your pick. They can’t hurt me, so why not?” I reasoned.

“I’d argue that,” Discord yelled from somewhere beneath us.

“Shut up, I said nigh!” I yelled back.

“Cancer? Is this some disease that has been discovered while I was gone?” Luna asked.

“Not yet it hasn’t. Cancer is a genetic disorder commonly caused by pollution and toxins, Equestria has very little of either, it was a problem on my world though. Basically, some cells get messed up and attack the rest of the body until you die,” I explained.

“Could you not do that around me anymore,” Luna requested, leaning away with wide eyes.

“Chill, Podrick’s built to look for cancerous cells and clean them out. Honestly, if I could get back to my world, I’d be the richest man alive within a few weeks. I have the cures for several major issues sitting in that bed, I could charge whatever I wanted and they’d still pay to take a super healing power nap,” I continued.

“Have you thought about going back?” Luna asked, distracted.

“Sometimes, but I’ve lived here for so much longer, this is my home now. I think I’d decline if the offer ever came up. I’d end up dealing with politicians and military leaders if I went back anyway, I only have to worry about Chelly here,” I said with a shrug.

“But you could help so many ponies,” Luna argued.

“Nope. The various governments wouldn’t leave that alone until they could scrape every last bit out of it,” I rebutted, using Equestrian terminology to keep everything simple.

“Couldn’t you just force your way through them like you do here?” Luna pressed, looking increasingly saddened by my prediction.

“They have weapons that could kill me. If I had my army, I could make them back down though,” I acknowledged, nodding thoughtfully as I took another draw from my neglected cigarette.

“What would you do then?” Luna continued, apparently fascinated by this hypothetical situation.

“I wouldn’t charge a dime. I’d donate a pod or two to every hospital I could find, starting with the major children’s hospitals. They deserve them the most,” I reasoned, Luna started at my casual tone, “Probably give them a good scare though, might need to make up a friendlier appearance.”

“I’ve never seen foals around you, how do they react?”

“Two kinds of kids in the world: terrified and I’m awesome. I suppose you can assume the type Lucky’s kids fell into,” I baited.

“Judging by Lily’s reaction to seeing you, I’d say they took to you rather well,” Luna guessed.

“Oh hell no, they pissed themselves in terror. It took years before they warmed up to me,” I laughed. Deciding I wouldn’t be finishing my cigarette, I flicked it away for Abaddon to absorb.

“Really? I would have never guessed,” Luna said, clearly shocked by this revelation.

“Speaking of Lily. Either Pinkie figured out how to clone herself, or she’s in Ponyville right now,” I stated, my eyes picking up two pink mares at the same time.

“Hmm, while not impossible, I doubt the hyper one could have figured out how. That magic was lost before I was born. I suspect Lily has come looking for you,” Luna postulated, glancing towards the Everfree as we drew closer.

“Never doubt Pinkie, ever,” I cautioned seriously, “If there’s one pony I’m mildly concerned about, it’s her.”

“Mildly concerned?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie and there’s nothing we can do about it. If she wants an army of more Pinkies, she’ll break physics, magic, and sanity to get them. Mild concern is the best way I can think to describe my feelings toward that mare,” I continued.

“I’ll keep an eye on her then. How much longer until we arrive, Abby?” Luna asked, directing her question towards the floor.

“We should arrive in two hours at my current pace, ma’am,” Abaddon answered, rising from the deck between us.

“Keep an eye on those mares, let me know if one of them gets into trouble,” I ordered, having a few suspicions that needed confirming.

“Why watch over those two in particular?” Luna asked, looking over.

“You have seen Lily, right? It’s kinda my job to look out for her. Even if she’s not down there, I’d rather play it safe,” I replied, leaning forward as I pondered how to broach the subject on my mind.

“You didn’t answer my question, you just replaced it with another,” Luna pointed out.

“Why have you been so frisky lately?” I asked, looping around her question to work towards its answer.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Luna countered defensively, looking uncomfortable.

“Answer the question,” I demanded lightly.

“I-my month started a couple days ago, a little before our last trip to Ponyville. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you,” Luna admitted, lowering her head slightly.

“How bad?” I pressed.

“Nothing too terrible, I’ll likely just be more open minded and a little…” Luna began, searching for a way to finish her statement.

“Touchy feely?” I offered.

“Yes, that’s a good way to put it. Is this going to be a problem?” Luna asked pensively.

“Nope, I already had my suspicions. But I have no clue when Lily’s cycle is, and I’m kinda worried about her being by herself. Especially with her model level looks,” I explained, causing Luna to nod in understanding.

“Say, why do our conversations keep involving my reproductive parts?” Luna asked, leaning over to poke at me playfully.

“Because you keep making an ass out of yourself and drawing attention to them,” I replied as I grabbed her hoof and pulled her into my lap.

“Hey, I am hardly the only guilty party,” Luna protested, making herself comfortable despite her complaints.

“Anyway, I was wondering what you wanted to do once we got into town,” I said as I shifted my arm so Luna could have enough space.

“I suppose I should speak to Twilight Sparkle about becoming my student. I’m rather excited to be a teacher,” Luna replied, smiling widely in anticipation.

“I wouldn’t expect too much, my spies tell me she’s a shut in and a bookworm,” I warned Luna.

“You have spies too? Anything else I should know about?” Luna asked, shocked.

“Abby, have Tzu make his way over here.”

“I’m already here, sir,” Tzu said from directly behind me.

“That’s convenient. Tell Luna your old designation,” I ordered.

“Yes, sir. Ma’am, my name used to be India-Five-Two.”

“What was your job?” I continued.

“India division consists entirely of infiltration units, each relying largely on independent thought and decision making to remain hidden. One could call us spies,” Tzu responded.

“Thank you Tzu, did you need something?” I asked politely.

“You have a job for me,” Tzu noted dryly, “I came to inform you that the Gammas lost to Discord have recovered and returned to base, Abaddon reports no abnormalities.”

“That was nice of Discord, though I suspect he’s trying to butter me up. I don’t have anything for you to do, actually. But if I were to make a suggestion, go have some fun. You’ve earned it,” I said, reaching over to hold the enforcer’s shoulder.

“Fun? What should I do?” Tzu asked uncertainly. I turned fully to face my enforcer, looking into his blood red eyes.

“Do you really not know how to have fun?” I asked in disbelief. Luna twisted next to me and looked sadly at Tzu.

“I-I don’t. We only have one game, and I don’t really like it,” Tzu replied, seemingly surprised by his own admission.

“I changed my mind, I do have a mission for you. Upon arrival in Ponyville, you are to speak to the pony known as Pinkie Pie, don’t worry she’ll find you, and tell her what you’ve just told me. You will then be under her command until told otherwise,” I ordered, knowing full well that Pinkie wouldn’t rest until she heard Tzu laugh at least once.

“Yes, sir. If I may, what will that accomplish?” Tzu asked, looking slightly confused. Luna and I shared a look.

“Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie,” we said as one, only confusing Tzu even more.

“I’m just gonna go now,” Tzu mumbled as he slowly backed away before bumping into the doorframe and blindly maneuvering through it.

“See you later, Tzu,” I called with a wave.

“Well, now what? We still have a long time until we reach Ponyville and as much as I enjoy our talks, they’re getting pretty stale,” Luna complained as politely as possible.

“We haven’t played cards in a couple weeks,” I suggested.

“No, most of your games are meant for more players, though perhaps we could set up a sort of “Poker Night” once we’ve arrived in Ponyville,” Luna replied, “You know what I wish we had?”

“Hmm?”

“A hot tub. I hear they’re quite relaxing and do wonders for one’s complexion,” Luna said wistfully, looking out at a blank section of the deck.

“You barely talk to anyone but me. Where did you learn about hot tubs?” I asked.

“Lucky,” Luna admitted, her tone dropping as her head landed on the armrest.

“You wanna know the best part about living on a shapeshifting giant? That can be arranged, indoors even. Think about it, heated room, nice warm water up to your neck, no cold wind during wintertime, no way for Chelly to get the wrong idea, and no damn leaves that have to be cleaned out every five fucking minutes,” I offered, looking briefly at Abaddon’s secondary for confirmation.

“You seem to have some strong feelings about it,” Luna noted.

“Sir, I’m afraid that with all of the enforcers stationed onboard, there aren’t any empty rooms left,” Abaddon apologized, causing Luna’s spirits to visibly fall.

“Abaddon, send word to the Bravos. They are to increase your size by fifty percent, they may send as many Gammas and Romeos as they like to retrieve the required biomatter. I don’t want to hear the words ‘not enough room’ again. And bring me that pony that stabbed me, I’d like to have a word with him,” I ordered, annoyed that I hadn’t made Abaddon large enough the first time. 

A few seconds later, an odd bulb began to force its way out of the deck in front of my chair. Luna grinned evilly at what she suspected to be inside and quickly flipped herself over so her head was on my chest with her right hind leg spread across my own, I adjusted my position as well and adopted a look that suggested this was a common position for us to be found in.

Abaddon waited to open the bulb until we had gotten fully into position before opening the bulb like a flower and depositing the earth pony guard at my feet, “Name.”

“I’m- you! You’re under…” the guard began before trailing off at the sight before him. I was sitting in my chair as if Luna didn’t exist, while Luna seemed to be too interested in drawing circles on my chest with her hoof to notice the guard’s existence.

“Name,” I said again, my voice flat and disinterested.

“Captain Steel Storm, acting head of the Princess’s night guard,” the guard finally responded.

“Silly filly, this is the captain of the night guards,” Luna giggled, not looking at the guard as she spoke.

“Where is Green?” I asked, just like before.

“Inside of this thing, imprisoned with the rest of us,” Steel growled.

“Abby, why don’t you be a dear and bring Green up here to spend some quality time with the rest of us,” Luna requested, her voice gaining a sultry tone. Steel Storm was beginning to show his uneasiness at the situation before him.

“Of course, ma’am,” Abaddon replied, his voice noticeably deeper than normal. Green was deposited next to Steel a few seconds later. To his credit, Green didn’t even flinch at the position Luna and I were in.

“Uh, hey Jay, Princess,” Green greeted awkwardly.

“Green, why have you and the others been absent from your post?” I accused, leveling my trademark glare at the unicorn.

“Sir, no excuse, sir,” Green responded, snapping to attention.

“Green, what are you doing?” Steel hissed at his comrade.

“We will discuss this later,” I promised, “You can go. For now. Steel, was it? You stay, we still need to figure out what to do with you.”

“Me?” Steel asked, his righteous anger consumed by his growing confusion and fear, “What do you want from me?”

“You attacked a superior officer and disrupted the royal physician while he was providing medical and psychiatric aid, at the same time. What shall we do with him, my beloved?” Luna purred, finally deigning to look at the guard in question, though only briefly.

“Do what you will, monster, my death will light the fires of your own,” Steel declared, finding his courage even as my tendrils extended toward his grimacing face.

“How noble. Hmm, nah, maybe next time,” I said casually, retracting the tendrils with an audible snap as the air rushed to fill the vacuum they left behind, “Nice improv, Lu, I didn’t expect you to go all out like that.”

“Thank you, though I really need to think of another persona besides the temptress routine,” Luna laughed as she returned to her previous position.

“But it works so well. It’s such a stark difference from your usual attitude that no one sees it coming,” I argued, reaching up to ruffle Luna’s mane.

“What the BUCK just happened!?” Steel shouted. We ignored him.

“We’re running out of ponies who don’t know that it’s an act. If I can’t mix it up, they won’t be fooled by our pranks,” Luna countered, not bothering to fix her mane this time.

“Good point. Let’s see, what about mindless slave? No, that’ll just cause problems. Any ideas?” I pondered, trying to think of some other act for Luna.

“How about snooty high class?” Steel offered, seeming surprised by his own words.

“Nah, too Tia for my liking. Oh, and you’ve been pranked,” Luna rebutted.

“I got it! Rocker,” I suggested. Luna looked confused, before starting to lean from side to side.

“How would this work?”

“No, rock music, like I play sometimes. There’s a look and attitude that goes with it, several actually. But I have some styles in mind,” I corrected, smiling mischievously.

“Really, I suppose it’s worth looking into at least,” Luna agreed, hopping off the chair and standing a few feet away.

I hummed as I stood and slowly walked around Luna, trying to figure out how to best work with her frame. 

“Alissa? No, well, maybe. Maria? No. Lzzy? Lzzy,” I mused aloud, drawing out the last name for a couple seconds, “Add some late seventies punk and we’re set.”

“I am starting to have second thoughts about this,” Luna declared as I tossed a flap of biomatter across her back.

“I’m just going to go now,” Steel muttered as he attempted to creep away without attracting any attention.

“Not so fast, have the other guards assemble up here. A rockstar needs her groupies,” I commanded without stopping my work. I cut the biomatter into shape, sealed it where it needed to join, and recolored it where needed. As the minutes ticked by, Luna’s outfit began to take shape.

“This feels more like cheap armor than clothing,” Luna complained, scratching at the spiked band around her left foreleg. I had finished her black leather jacket and matching skirt first, I was currently adding knee high leather boots and fishnet stockings to her rear legs. She was tipped forward by the difference in height between where I had and hadn’t finished my plan.

“It’s temporary, I’ll make you some real ones after I get these templates done first,” I reassured her, “Where are those damn guards? Ah, screw ‘em, you should turn enough heads by yourself.”

“Templates? Why not these?” Luna asked, careful not to move as I added a choker to her neck.

“Disconnected tissue. It’ll die and turn gray in a couple days, fall apart soon after that,” I explained in as few words as possible while I focused on extending the spiked shoes on Luna’s forehooves just enough to return her balance. She’d make an awful racket if she bumped into something.

“Will that be a problem?” Luna asked, confused.

“I like my gifts to my friends to last a little longer than a couple days,” I replied, stepping back to think of anything I was missing, “Mane, wings, and tail, jacket studs, chains for the choker, all the little spikes around. I’m going to need some steel and silver.”

“Silver? Jay I couldn’t accept that, it’d be too much,” Luna said, stepping away gracefully.

“You walk easily in heels, that’s good. Don’t worry about it, I’ll just have Jeff drag some up. Are your ears pierced?” I continued, too invested in my work to give Luna’s question much thought.

“No, I wanted to have them done when I was younger, but mo-Midnight forbade it,” Luna answered, looking sad for a moment.

“Are you opposed to the idea?” I asked.

“I think I’d like the act of rebellion, if nothing else,” Luna guessed.

“If you don’t want them later, stop wearing them and they’ll heal,” I explained as I grabbed the ends of Luna’s ears and prepared to send a set of small spikes through them.

“Will this hurt?” Luna asked nervously.

“Remember who you’re talking to, I’m already done,” I said easily. Luna how had two holes in her right ear and one in her left, “Preference of material?”

“Silver or steel would probably be best.”

“I’ll just use silver for everything then, just to keep it simple. Silver barbed wire, never heard of that before,” I thought aloud, causing Luna’s head to whip around to see if I was serious. I was.

“Won’t that hurt?” Luna asked, apprehensive about being decorated in sharp objects. A reasonable concern, though unfounded.

“Purely decorative, nothing will be sharp. Abaddon, have some Gammas fly ahead to Ponyville. Tell them to grab twenty square feet of leather from my cabin, fifteen pounds of silver from Jeff, and to buy some black dye from Quills and Sofas. They can take three hundred bits with them, that should be plenty,” I ordered absently.

“Jay, aren’t those numbers a little high?” Luna asked.

“I like to have extra in case I mess up,” I replied with a shrug, “What do you think so far?”

“I think I like it. I feel like a different mare, stronger. I feel aggressive,” Luna said with an excited smile as she bounced lightly in her boots.

“You’ll definitely look aggressive when I’m done,” I agreed. A large tendril rose out of the deck next to me, “What’s this?”

“Your leather supplies were retrieved from your cabin last time we were here, the Gammas have been sent to retrieve your other requirements,” Abaddon explained, dissolving his tendril as he spoke. I lifted a sheet of leather to inspect it, finding it to my standards.

The Gammas returned to Abaddon a few minutes later with the silver and dye I had requested, by then there was a growing pile of discarded biomatter and an even stack of leather that was rapidly shrinking. I made Luna’s silver accessories on the spot by using my claws to cut the rough shape and smaller tendrils to polish them to perfection, making sure there were no out of place edges or ugly scuffs. By the time we reached Ponyville, Luna looked like she was ready to dive into a mosh pit.

“Is the leather going to be a problem?” I asked, maybe too late.

“Is it made from ponies?” Luna countered, whipping her mane to the side as she spoke. At my request, she had removed its ethereal quality and allowed me to add small silver weights to several of the larger locks of her mane. By casually tossing her head, she could violently flip most of her hair from side to side. A side effect of this was that her mane was always hanging by the sides of her face.

“This was all manticore, I don’t have pony hides hanging around,” I replied, checking the barbed wire wrapped around her tail for any problems. A small correction later, and Luna wouldn’t need to worry about jabbing herself in the leg as she walked.

“Then you have your answer,” Luna said as she used her magic to move one of the chains attached to her choker into her sight. It was a recreation of the front of a human skull, to scale. I had more silver left over than I had thought I would.

“Cool,” I responded, fussing over the gaps in the jacket for Luna’s wings.

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m quite comfortable, this is perfect,” Luna said gratefully.

“Thanks. Just one last test then, I need you to dance. Don’t worry about knowing how, just go crazy,” I requested, stepping back to give her plenty of room.

“Okay, I guess there’s nothing that can go wrong here. Here goes,” Luna said apprehensively, biting her lip as she began a poor attempt at a waltz.

“No, no, no, no, no, no. You aren’t wearing a gown for christssake, you’re wearing leather and chains. Jump, kick, toss your hooves around, whip your hair around your head, be a fucking menace to anyone dumb enough to be within striking range,” I criticized, though Luna didn’t seem too affected by my tone. Rather, she began to dance in a way that would fit right in at any punk rock or metal concert back on Earth.

“This is fun, why haven’t we done this before?” Luna cried as she dove into an imaginary crowd, only to be tossed back by Abaddon before she could hurt herself.

“I tried to drag you to a club, but you fell asleep instead,” I reminded her, “Luckily, the one in Ponyville is straight up famous.”

“Wicked, let’s go right now,” Luna suggested, rolling past me and tossing her forehooves over my shoulders.

“They aren’t open yet, wait till sundown. Also, when did you start saying ‘wicked?’ It’s not something I say,” I responded, listening to the silver weights clink as I tussled Luna’s hair.

“Meh, sounded right. Wait, we’re here! I need to find Twilight Sparkle, I have a student to teach,” Luna declared, raising her right forehoof to the sky dramatically.

“You want to meet her like this? Okay then, teleport us down, I guess,” I conceded, honestly curious about Twilight’s reaction. A flash later, we were standing in front of the Golden Oaks Library.

A scream echoed around us. “Run for your lives, it’s Nightmare Moon two-point-oh.”

“Pinkamena Diane Pie, you get back here this instant and apologize,” I snapped at the retreating pink mare, but I was too late. Luna was already crying into the road, her excitement over her new outfit and possible student long forgotten.

“W-what? Did I do something wrong?” Pinkie asked ignorantly as she stopped in her tracks and slowly walked back down the road.

“Get the fuck over here and apologize to Luna. Some Element of Laughter you turned out to be, your princess comes by to visit and you make her cry not three seconds later. She was so happy about her new outfit too,” I snarled angrily, causing Pinkie so sprint to Luna’s side and rattle off dozens of apologies.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry Princess I didn’t know you were you, well, I knew you were you but I didn’t know you were you you. Please don’t cry, I promise to throw the bestest Welcome-to-Ponyville/Sorry-I-Made-You-Sad party ever,” Pinkie pleaded once she had reached an intelligible level of speaking.

“Did you say ‘slash’ in that title?” Luna asked, drawn out of her depression by Pinkie’s weirdness. A feeling I could sympathize with.

“Uh huh,” Pinkie replied softly, her own eyes brimming with tears.

“Pinkie, right? Don’t cry little one, I will be all right. The Nightmare is just a bit of a sensitive subject right now,” Luna said, extending her wing in an attempt to comfort Pinkie. It didn’t have the chance to transition into a touching moment, as Twilight chose that moment to storm out of her house.

“Pinkie would you stop screaming outside my door? I’m trying to stu-Princess! Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were coming,” Twilight rambled.

“It is quite alright Twilight Sparkle, there weren’t many who were informed of my travel plans. And please, just call me Luna. Unlike my sister, I have no love for honorifics. May we speak inside?” Luna rambled back, her voice rushed and unsure now that her moment had arrived.

“Uh, sure?” Twilight replied, looking confused.

“Who put a question mark on the teleprompter?”

“Ignore him,” Luna ordered tiredly as she lifted a hoof to her face.

“Okay, I was just confused. Princess Celestia never actually asked me if she could come in, she would just suggest sitting inside,” Twilight commented. The way she said that gave me the impression that she interpreted Celestia’s suggestions the same way the enforcers treated mine, like an order.

“Wait, hold on. You were confused by that little difference between Chelly and Lu? Not the crazy outfit or lack of being a major bitch?” I asked, advancing on the pair.

“Jay, shut your fucking face. Twilight, may we enter before Jay loses his damn mind or gives me an aneurysm?” Luna pressed.

“Of course, would you like anything? Some tea? Cake? I think I have some around here somewhere,” Twilight said, beginning to ramble again as she led the way into the library. I hung back to say farewell to Pinkie but found her sprinting away, the smile on her face indicating her intentions. With no other course of action, I followed Luna into the library.

“Twilight! We are quite alright, I don’t actually like cake. I wouldn’t mind some tea though, if it isn’t too much trouble,” Luna requested politely. I reached over and cleaned the dust off Luna while Twilight scrambled into the kitchen to make a pot of tea, condensing it into a clump of dirt and tossing it back outside.

“Hey Jay, am I scary?” Luna whispered.

“You have barbed wire wrapped around your tail, you look too awesome to be scary,” I whispered back.

“I pray you are right, Twilight is coming back and I would prefer she not see me as an imposing figure.”

“Princess, I’m sorry, I only have some local tea at the moment. If you’d like, I’m sure my friend Rarity has some imported Zebracan tea,” Twilight asked nervously.

“The local brew will be fine Twilight, I’m not nearly as picky as you suspect,” Luna replied with an easy smile, sitting on the floor casually.

“Oh thank Celestia, I was so worried you’d be disappointed because I didn’t have any of the Princess’s favorite tea. I usually have a bag on hand for emergencies but Fluttershy accidentally brewed it the other night and I haven’t been able to get any more since Zebraca has stopped trading with Equestria and I didn’t know what else to do so I kinda already made it and it’s right here,” Twilight babbled, still clearly terrified.

“That is actually what I am here to speak to you about, Twilight. Please, relax, I’m not here on Tia’s behalf. Recent events have shown my sister to be less than-how to say this,” Luna began.

“I believe you said she wasn’t qualified to teach knitting, much less have a personal student to teach friendship,” I interrupted.

“Thank you, Jay. Celestia tried to destroy Canterlot last night after escalating an argument to blows, Twilight. I fear how poorly she must have treated you over the years and would like to offer myself as a replacement teacher,” Luna announced, her face showing a friendly smile even as fear raged in her eyes.

“There was an odd gryphon that used to live next to Fluttershy. Do you know what he said to me once? Get out,” Twilight growled.

“Twilight I assure you-” Luna attempted.

“Out!” Twilight screamed. Luna shot to her hooves and tried to run out the door, only to run into my outstretched arm.

“No,” I said calmly, “You will sit down and hear Luna out, she is still your Princess. I can have Jeff retrieve Applejack if you want, she can still detect lies right?”

“I will not let you badmouth mo-Princess Celestia in my house, I don’t care who you are,” Twilight seethed.

“Jeff, I need AJ here pronto. Twilight, hate to break it to you but Chelly isn’t your mom. You can fight me if you want, but I don’t think you will. You owe me,” I responded sternly while gently pushing Luna onto the couch.

“Owe you? I don’t owe you anything, monster,” Twilight growled, her eyes beginning to glow as her rage built.

“I saved your life. If I hadn’t been there, Nightmare Moon would’ve had your heart as a hat. This is me calling in the favor, pay up,” I ordered.

“Fine! But not until AJ gets here to prove me right,” Twilight huffed, sitting as far from Luna as she could get.

“Mayhaps we should discuss this with thee on the morrow. This day has been quite poor,” Luna suggested, reverting to her old way of speaking for the first time in nearly two months.

“Lu, just relax. I know you’re terrified right now, but I’ve got this,” I replied.

“T’was supposed to be mine time to shine,” Luna continued sadly.

“What happened to the aggressive, strong mare from ten minutes ago?”

“Thou art-You’re right, I’m not the scared filly I used to be. I can’t run away now,” Luna forced, straightening her posture proudly.

“Hey y’all, what the hay is goin’ on ‘round here? Jeff came and said there was some emergency that needed my help,” Applejack said as she came running into the library, haphazardly kicking the door closed as she cleared it.

“Oh good, you’re here. I need your help to prove Princess Celestia wouldn’t hurt anypony,” Twilight replied warmly as she greeted her friend before returning to glaring at Luna and I.

“What do y’all need me to do?” Applejack asked seriously.

“Call out any lies you hear. Not things you can’t believe, lies,” I ordered, gesturing to a cushion that hadn’t been there a moment ago. I suspected either Jeff or Discord was responsible, but didn’t bother to think about it for too long.

Luna retold the events of the previous few days, starting with our confrontation with Celestia about her attack on the Crystal Kingdom. Luna allowed me to add in details that she had forgotten without any fuss, reasoning that having all of our cards on the table couldn’t hurt. Applejack never spoke during the entire retelling, though she grew increasingly disturbed by the implications. Luna finished her tale with the fight on Abaddon’s back just before we left to go to Fancy’s party. Twilight had been staring desperately at Applejack the entire time, waiting for her to call Luna a liar.

“Ah-Ah need to think mighty hard about a few things, Ah’m sorry y’all,” Applejack said when Luna finished speaking. She wandered aimlessly in the general direction of the door, but her mind was clearly elsewhere. She punctuated this by walking directly into the, still closed, door face first and lying down at its base. 

“AJ? Please tell me it’s not true. Please tell me the Princess didn’t do those things,” Twilight begged, almost in tears at Applejack’s silence.

“Twi, Ah don’t know who to trust anymore. They ain’t lyin’,” Applejack admitted, too mentally drained to move from her current position.

“No! I can’t believe this! I can’t! How could Princess Celestia do those things? How could you ever compare to her? You don’t even look like a princess. You look like some gang member out of one of Spike’s comic books,” Twilight raged.

“Twilight Sparkle, I understand you are upset. You have every right to be. I had foolishly hoped that this would be a happy occasion and was hoping to go dancing afterwards. Besides, I happen to like this outfit, Jay says I look like a rockstar,” Luna replied, flipping her mane to punctuate her statement.

“What is a rockstar?” Twilight continued, her anger giving the slightest slip as the possibility of learning something new presented itself.

“A type of musician from Jay’s homeworld. Apparently, they were rather popular, if the amount of songs Jay insists on playing is a decent metric,” Luna explained, slowly cracking a hopeful smile.

“You’re an alien?” Twilight asked, bewildered.

“Interdimensional, if my theory is correct,” I clarified, leaning against the wall casually.

“Princess Celestia said you were a demon, I guess that was another lie. Could you all leave me alone for a while, I need to reevaluate a lot of things I thought I knew,” Twilight responded sadly, slowly wandering towards the staircase to her room.

“Twilight, if there is one thing I have learned, it is to never isolate yourself when you become depressed. I recommend you spend the day with your friends, I will be nearby when you are ready to give me your answer,” Luna said sagely.

“Just leave me alone,” Twilight muttered as she began her trek up the stairs.

“Come on, Lu. I know where we should go next,” I said as I stood. Luna followed me towards the door and gently lifted Applejack onto her back to carry her to our next destination, likely thinking it to be Applejack’s home. I had a better idea, I led the two ponies to Fluttershy’s cabin near the Everfree, “Stay out of sight for now, she startles easily.”

I managed to knock once before the door opened slightly, a single blue eye gazing back at me. Without warning, the door flew open to slam against the interior wall.

“You have a lot of nerve coming back here.”

“Shy.”

“Don’t you ‘Shy’ me, mister, do you have any idea how upset AJ and Rainbow were when you said Best was a wanted criminal? They were devastated, they looked up to you and you let them think you’d never come back,” the normally timid mare attempted to yell, though she only achieved a normal speaking volume.

“Shy.”

“What? What could possibly be so important that you’d abandon ponies you’ve known their whole lives?”

“Luna and AJ are here too.”

“Oh.”

“It’s okay, just know that I have my reasons. If we could come in, I’d gladly bring you up to speed,” I offered.

“I suppose you could all come in, if you want to, that is,” Fluttershy whispered, moving out of the doorway and attempting to hide behind her mane.

“Shy, Luna looks kinda scary, but she’s still nice. Okay?” I cautioned the skittish mare, waving Luna over as I did so.

“Hello again Fluttershy, how have you been?” Luna asked kindly as she walked to the doorway and looked inside. Fluttershy squeaked and dove under her couch, only making it halfway under before getting stuck, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine down here, thank you for asking,” Fluttershy replied, more muffled than usual from the couch on top of her.

“As I understand it, you are the bearer of the Element of Kindness, are you not? Did you know I once held the same title?” Luna asked gently. Fluttershy slowly extricated herself from the couch and looked at Luna curiously.

“You did?” Fluttershy asked quietly, even by her standards. After a moment for me to relay her question, Luna was able to form a response.

“Oh, yes. Tia won’t admit it, but I held four of the Elements when we faced Discord. I was the bearer of Kindness, Loyalty, Honesty, and Generosity, though Tia could also wield Generosity on occasion. It was always a temperamental Element,” Luna explained with an easy smile.

“But why are you all prickly?” Fluttershy asked, she was starting to eye the opening under the couch again.

“Jay made these clothes for me. We were going to go dancing, but things didn’t go as I’d hoped. Now I just feel ridiculous,” Luna admitted, tugging at her choker with a hoof.

“Mind if we all sit?” I asked, gesturing to the top portion of the couch that Fluttershy seemed so fond of.

“Oh, of course. Make yourselves at home, if you want to,” Fluttershy replied, hopping onto the chair next to the couch where she could usually be found crying when Angel, her pet rabbit, came home late. Luna and I took the couch, sitting close enough for Luna to lean against me if she got nervous, after Luna set Applejack down on an abnormally large dog bed. She didn’t seem to mind.

I told Fluttershy everything that had happened, getting a few gasps and swipes from Luna in the process. Fluttershy just nodded along and leveled no judgement on Luna for her behavior, nor did she react strongly to my retelling of Celestia’s actions in Canterlot. The only time she showed any emotion at all was when I explained the situation with Dopple and the rogue enforcers.

“He was your favorite though, why would he do that? You treated him better than my parents treated me,” Fluttershy asked, nearly in tears.

“I have my suspicions, but nothing concrete. I suppose I’ll find out when I tear his head off and eat it,” I replied, eliciting a startled gasp from Fluttershy.

“But you can’t, he was like a son to you,” Fluttershy cried, reaching a normal volume again.

“I know, and that makes him my responsibility. He’s become a threat to the entire world, not just me. You know about the virus, Shy, can you honestly say that there’s another way for me to handle this?” I countered.

“No, I can’t. But I don’t think you should be the one who has to do this either,” Fluttershy said adamantly, “I hope you don’t have to do that yourself.”

“I do, any of the enforcers would just be turned by the ‘Freedom’ in his system and the cycle would repeat. I have to do this myself,” I replied sadly.

“Oh, well, if you’re sure, I guess you know more about it than I do,” Fluttershy commented meekly.

“Bright side, you all get to meet Freydis and Chilly in a few months,” I added.

“And who is this Chilly?” Luna asked, a hint of jealousy in her voice.

“That is a story for another day,” I responded, “Mostly because we’d be here all day otherwise.”

“She was his roommate,” Fluttershy answered.

“Dude, spoilers,” I complained.

“You shouldn’t hide things from your wife, Jay,” Fluttershy admonished.

“We barely acknowledge that. And I wasn’t hiding it, I just wanted to tell the whole story,” I whined.

“We have nowhere to be for the foreseeable future, why not tell it now?” Luna suggested.

“Might as well, at this point. Hey Shy, you wanna go check on Twilight? She isn’t faring any better than AJ over here,” I asked.

“Of course, I should’ve gone to see her ages ago! I’ll see you all later,” Fluttershy said as she bolted out the door. Her friend needed some kindness, and nothing could stop Fluttershy when someone was in trouble.

“Let’s see, it all began when I first arrived in the Crystal Kingdom…” I began.
> Chapter 14: Bittersweet Memories
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, a little before that actually. 

With Sigrid gone, Freydis didn’t have any family left. Add in the fact that she was in a coma, and I was in a tight spot. I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t know anyone outside of Ponyville. Except for Chelly, and while she already hated me enough by then, I didn’t think she would deny medical care to a chick.

“Guards, seize that demon!” Celestia screamed as I walked into the courtroom. Freydis was secured to my back with a few tendrils around her waist and limbs.

“Celestia, please, I don’t want to fight,” I begged, the guards surrounded me but didn’t attack. I heard them murmur to each other about the young gryphon attached to my back, quietly debating whether I was feeding on her or not.

“You think you can waltz into my court and make demands of me? Kill the demon!” Celestia snarled, she couldn’t see Freydis from where she was standing.

“Celestia, wait-” A spear entered my back, still warm with blood that wasn’t mine. I lost control, and by the time I was aware of my surroundings, Celestia, Freydis, and I were the only ones alive in the room. The others either having fled or lying in bloody piles on the floor.

“Kill me and doom the planet,” Celestia snarked as I held her against the wall, my claws wrapped around her throat.

“I didn’t want this. All I wanted was some help for Freydis,” I said sadly, releasing Celestia and gently moving Freydis into my arms for her to see. I spotted the small cut on her side from the guard’s spear and made a note to bandage it later.

“You came to me for help? And for a little gryphon, at that? Too bad, it’s a husk. There’s nothing I can do, not that I would,” Celestia replied, rubbing a hoof at where my claws had cut into her neck.

“A husk?” I asked, dropping into an empty seat.

“Don’t they have schools in Tartarus? A husk is somepony, or in this case gryphon, who has been sucked dry of emotions. They don’t live very long, might as well throw it out now,” Celestia explained, her words hitting me harder than her condescending tone.

“There’s nothing that can be done to help her?” I clarified.

“No, now get out. Next time you won’t get away so easily,” Celestia snapped. I stood and slowly carried Freydis out of the room, thinking of how we had ended up in this position. Those damn bugs had done this to her, but they were dead. I’d seen to that. But this left me without anyone to blame, except myself.

“Hey, demon guy,” a voice hissed from behind the door as I passed it. Turning, I found an orange earth pony standing just outside the courtroom.

“You going to tell me there’s no hope? ‘Cause I already got that hint,” I replied drearily, continuing past the pony.

“What if I told you there was?” the strange pony asked, trotting to keep up with me. Back in those days, I walked with a longer stride. Ponies had a hard time keeping up.

“What’re you, a grief counselor? Celestia already said there was no way for me to help her,” I countered.

“She lied. In the Frozen Plains to the north, you’ll find a city. That city is the capital of the Crystal Kingdom, it’s also their only holding but that’s not important. King Sombra has a soft spot for people like you, and he has a thing for magical artifacts. I happen to know of one in his possession that can return a husk to normal,” the pony continued.

“More likely that you’re trying to send us to die in the snow,” I rebuked, continuing toward the exit.

“Do you have anything to lose? You did come here after all,” the stranger pointed out.

“That...is a good point, I’ll look for this city. But if I don’t find anything, I’ll make you into a fucking hat. Do you understand me?” I threatened, pressing a claw to the pony’s forehead.

“Yeah, yeah. Just remember to tell ‘em that Apple Seed sent you, I don’t get paid otherwise,” the strange pony added before walking away casually, pointedly ignoring the small trickle of blood running down his face.

With nowhere else to go, I set out for this rumored city in the snow. As the air cooled I began to notice Freydis cooling as well, forcing me to stop and find some way of keeping her warm. Fortunately we were still in a forested region and shelter wouldn’t be an issue. While Freydis lay next to a campfire I had managed to make by drawing the water out of a log and hitting a couple rocks together, I worked on forming a shell out of my hand.

“Alright, just like the claw or blade. I just need to imagine how I need it to be shaped….That’s a clam. I mean, it’s close right? Just-oh-twenty times bigger and it’ll work, maybe. Whatever, maybe if I just-woah. That felt weird,” I rambled to no one before feeling my biomass move under my direction for the first time. It’s a slimy feeling, like an uncooked egg running down your arm. Or leg, in your case.

I spent the rest of the night experimenting with this new ability, eventually crafting the cocoon you call Podrick. Now that I had a way to safely carry Freydis the rest of the way, we left our camp with the sunrise. The rest of the trip went smoothly until we reached the edge of the Frozen Plains, where there was nothing for me to hunt. 

I had been snatching squirrels and the like off of trees as I walked previously, but there aren’t any trees that far north. No trees, no critters. No critters, no food. I kept walking anyway, Freydis could have my nutrients. She deserved them more. I felt like a failure, I had two people in the world that I cared about and I couldn’t even keep them safe from a handful of bugs. And now that the bugs were dead, I’d seen to that, I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself.

More and more, I removed pieces of myself to be broken down into base nutrients for Freydis until I was just a pair of legs and an eyestalk. That was when I saw a shape through the snow. It wasn’t a grand wall or gate, it was a shadow. I thought it was a flying snake at first, right until it landed in front of my eye and pointed at its ear with a hoof. It was a pony, a stretched out, slinky sort of pony, but it was still clearly equine. And a light blue, almost teal sort of color. It was also yelling at me.

“-an’t just wander out here by yourself, fella’s freeze to death all the time. You got a name or what?” the stretched pony asked, its voice dropping to a normal volume as it saw me grow an ear out of the cocoon I was dragging.

My eyestalk bobbed in the affirmative. I didn’t have enough biomass left to form a mouth, lungs, and voice box.

“Right, no mouth. Name’s Wind Chill, I’m in charge of finding the new arrivals and getting them inside before they freeze. Come on, it’s this way. You’re nearly there,” the pony continued, turning to walk ahead of me and lead me to the gate. The screeching, howling way this weird pony spoke kept me from figuring out its gender, but I was more concerned with getting Freydis some medical attention and finding some biomatter before there was nothing left of me. Preferably in that order.

Wind Chill led me through a modest gate and all at once, the blizzard conditions that permanently assailed this corner of the world disappeared and I could see clearly once more. I nodded thankfully at Wind Chill before looking around curiously, noting that my strange appearance hadn’t drawn any attention from the locals. Indeed, I noticed two other beings that looked similar to my normal form lounging on a bench not twenty feet away.

“Well, welcome to the Crystal Kingdom. Come on, Dirge always gives newbies a free meal. No offense, but you look like you could use it,” Wind Chill offered, waving me forward with a hoof. I followed my new ‘friend’ into a tall wooden building next to the gate, finding what looked like some fucked up cross between a bull, a human and a tub of testosterone; with cloven feet, reverse jointed legs, huge muscles on his chest and arms, and the head of a bull. Whatever it was, it was over ten feet tall, bipedal, and sported some ridiculously sharp horns.

“Chilly, you brought home another stray, eh?” the cow-thing said with a friendly, joking tone as he brought a comparatively tiny meat cleaver down on a salmon, “And just what are you, little one? Never seen anything like you before.”

“Sorry Dirge, this fella doesn’t have a mouth. I’m betting on sentient weed. Remember Potts? Same way,” Wind Chill replied, though I was barely paying attention. My eye was focused on the hog hanging behind Dirge.

“Might not have a mouth, but this guy is definitely carnivorous. Look at that stare, he’s got his eye on some bacon. I’ve got a hundred crowns that say he can eat the whole pig,” Dirge wagered.

“This little plant? You’re on,” Wind Chill replied, a confident smirk spreading across his/her face. Soon bets were being exchanged between the other patrons and even passers by, causing Dirge to relocate all of us into the street so everyone could watch and ensure no one would be cheating them out of their money. The pig was finally dropped in front of me on the small table Dirge had provided, the onlookers falling silent to watch. Without the biomass to form a tendril without sacrificing any more of myself, I pressed my eye into the fresh meat and consumed the entire thing within a second.

“Thank you Dirge, I don’t think I would’ve lasted much longer,” I said, forming exterior lungs to speak while the rest of my body regenerated.

“It speaks, ha ha ha, and it has won me a lot of crowns. What’s your name stranger?” Dirge asked with a deep belly laugh, despite his lack of the requisite stomach size.

“A friend of mine called me Jekyll, my old name doesn’t have any meaning anymore,” I replied, hefting Freydis’s cocoon onto my left shoulder to shake the cow’s hand.

“Well Jekyll, I hope you enjoy it here, I know we do. But I’ll see you around, I need to get back to work,” Dirge said with a dramatic flourish as he stepped back and disappeared into his restaurant.

“You know, I’d be pretty steamed at you if that hadn’t been one of the coolest things I’d ever seen,” Wind Chill warned from my right shoulder, startling me into falling over Freydis’s cocoon defensively, “Woah, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine. Where can I find Sombra? I need his help,” I responded tersely, Freydis’s condition having been pushed into the forefront of my mind.

“You come in, eat our food, and make demands to see our king? Might want to bide your time stranger, we don’t take well to pushy people,” Wind Chill threatened, others falling in behind him/her. I opened the cocoon, “Is that a chick? Oh frost, she’s a husk! Come on, he’s this way!”

I slammed the cocoon closed and sprinted after the pony, who I now noticed was flying close to the ground despite a lack of wings. Wind Chill stopped next to a nondescript house a few blocks away and held up a hoof to signal me to stop as well. After a moment of silence the door opened on its own, a black and gray unicorn appearing a few seconds later.

“Can I help you, Wind Chill? It’s four in the morning,” the unicorn asked tiredly.

“It’s noon, your highness. This...thing-sorry-showed up a few minutes ago, it brought a husk with it, sir,” Wind Chill responded formally. I set the cocoon on the ground and lifted the cover.

“Please, she’s all I have left,” I begged, I didn’t know what else to do, what else I could do. The unicorn I assumed to be Sombra sighed and moved away from the door, motioning for us to come inside.

“What’s your name?” Sombra asked harshly as I entered.

“I’m Jekyll.”

“According to who?”

“Her father gave me the name,” I answered honestly, fighting the nervous urge to form my claws.

“And where is he now?” Sombra continued. Wind Chill stood stone faced in the entryway, blocking the door.

“Dead, her mother followed not long ago. I tried, I tried to keep them safe. I’m a failure, you can kick me out and let me freeze if you want, just help her,” I attempted to compromise.

“Or what?” Sombra challenged hatefully, sounding too much like Celestia had when I had asked her for help. I felt my anger rise.

“You’re just like her, aren’t you? The Celestia of the cold. Well, I’m done playing nice. Either you fix Freydis or I’ll flay you and do it myfuckingself,” I snarled, my claws and blades forming threateningly. This was the first time I had formed a second set of arms, I decided I liked the versatility.

“You’re a shifter,” Sombra noted, unfazed, “My apologies, I give that little test to every newcomer I meet; makes it easy to find Chelly’s spies. Come along, Jay, I keep the heart under the short leg of my desk.”

“Jay? Heart?” I stammered, caught completely off guard by the unicorn’s change of attitude.

“King Sombra has a thing for nicknames, just accept it,” Wind Chill advised, waving at me to follow the monarch into a side room.

“Yo Jay, catch!” Sombra called without warning. I managed to catch the heart shaped crystal after it bounced off my face.

“What’s this?” I asked as my skull reformed.

“Are you okay? You’re not supposed to catch hundred pound magic crystals with your face,” Wind Chill asked, laughing.

“Chilly, you’ll never get a coltfriend if you keep up that attitude. I believe your sister would normally be lecturing you about being a proper mare about now,” Sombra admonished, tipping me off to Wind Chill’s gender.


Present Day


“Bwahahaha, you needed Sombra to tell you that you had been hanging around a mare,” Luna mocked, holding her sides as she openly laughed at me.

“Have you ever heard a wendigo speak? There isn’t a lot to go on there,” I shot back.

“You could’ve looked,” Luna pointed out.

“I don’t make a point of looking under mares, it’s rude,” I countered.

“Fair point,” Luna acknowledged.

“Great, as I was saying…”


994 Years Ago


“I asked if he was okay,” Wind Chill responded petulantly. 

“Back to business. Jay, the Crystal Kingdom could use someone of your capabilities. We would be honored if you choose to stay with us, though we will hold no ill will if you choose to leave and you would always be welcome to return,” Sombra declared, bowing slightly.

“Thanks for the offer, I’ll let Freydis decide,” I replied tersely, hefting the crystal with one hand for emphasis.

“Of course, just set the little one on the heart and watch it work. The heart is filled with so much condensed love that…” Sombra kept talking, but I wasn’t listening. I was watching streams of light flow into Freydis. When they stopped, my breath caught, I thought it had failed. Again.

“Momma?” Freydis asked weakly. Only her beak had moved, and not by much.

“I’m so sorry kiddo,” I apologized as I gently lifted her to my chest.

“Why? Where’s Mom?” Freydis asked again, becoming panicked as she fully awoke.

“I’m so sorry,” I repeated, unsure of how to tell her that she was an orphan.

“What happened?” Freydis asked.

“Young one, my name is Sombra. How are you feeling? Any nausea or dizziness,” Sombra asked as gently as possible, coming to my rescue.

“I’m thirteen and I’m fine. Did something happen, Uncle Jekyll?” Freydis snapped, all but ignoring Sombra as tears tugged at the corners of her eyes.

“How much do you remember, Freydis?” Sombra continued, turning stoic.

“I remember Uncle Jekyll leaving to go to work, then some pony guards came looking for him. But they said his fake name and Mom got angry, then they hissed and fought Mom. And then she fell down and there were shadows and green and the creepy pony and-and-and…” Freydis recounted before dissolving into tears, her small talons holding my neck as she sobbed.

“It’ll be okay kiddo, I won’t let anything happen again,” I promised. That was something I could do, something I was built to do. A force of destruction could be a force of protection.

“Jekyll, may I have a word with you? Alone?” Sombra asked seriously, gesturing to the door he had entered earlier. I assumed it was his office.

“I don’t know, Freydis-” I began.

“I can watch her, I’ve always been good with children,” Wind Chill offered, interrupting me before I could worry further.

“Uncle Jekyll?” Freydis asked uncertainly.

“It’ll be okay, I’ll just be in the next room. Just shout if anything scary happens and I’ll be there before you can blink,” I reassured Freydis as I set her down and followed Sombra to the other room. As soon as my back was turned, I added a pair of eyes to the back of my head and pointed at them while glaring at Wind Chill. She smirked at my action and leaned over to Freydis.

“Your uncle is pretty cool, huh?” Wind Chill asked. I didn’t get to hear Freydis’s reply, Sombra had started talking. I did see her laugh though.

“Jay, I apologize for being so formal, but there are some important matters to discuss. Firstly, what is your relationship with the gryphon chick Freydis?” Sombra asked, visibly fighting to keep his tone as friendly as possible.

“I see myself as an adopted uncle,” I replied honestly, “Though she has referred to me as her father a couple times.”

“And what specific role have you filled in her life? The more details, the better,” Sombra continued.

“I gathered food while it lasted, worked after that, helped teach her how to fly, tucked her in at night the few times her mother had fallen asleep early, and escorted her to and from school.”

“Awfully tame for someone who crossed the plains alone,” Sombra commented.

“I was awfully determined,” I replied.

“And how did you find us, anyway?”

“Strange earth pony, said his name was Apple Seed.” Sombra nodded and made a note before continuing.

“Living conditions?”

“A cabin I built on the edge of the Everfree Forest. It wasn’t much smaller than your place here, actually.”

“The Everfree. A little dangerous for a chick, don’t you think?” Sombra pressed, his tone turning harsh.

“I haven’t found anything I couldn't bag and bring home,” I bragged, forming a claw for emphasis.

“Evidently, you have. You did show up on my doorstep with a husk, after all,” Sombra criticized, glaring.

“There were extenuating circumstances, and they didn’t come out of the forest,” I shot back, my own temper flaring.

“And how would you know that? You probably just found her discarded husk on the side of the road,” Sombra challenged, leaning forward aggressively.

“I didn’t find shit! I slaughtered every one of those fucking bugs and carried her out!” I shouted back.

“An entire changeling hive? By yourself? Hogwash, you’d need an army to do that,” Sombra replied dismissively. He started laughing at me as my rage continued to grow, though he fell silent when I pinned him against the wall.

“Bitch I eat armies!” I snarled dangerously. Though I was lying, it shut Sombra up for a moment.

“Again I find myself apologizing, though this was no test. I’m truly sorry, Jekyll, taking on an entire hive to save a loved one is no laughing matter. I have enough information to make a decision,” Sombra stated after a few seconds.

“On what?” I snapped, though my own anger was rapidly dissipating.

“Adopted uncle is not a legally recognized relation in the Crystal Kingdom, you wouldn’t be able to enroll her in school or visit her at our clinic. Besides, you’ve been more of a parent to her if I’m reading this correctly. I’m offering to make Freydis your legal daughter,” Sombra declared formally, summoning a scroll and quill as he spoke.

“I-I don’t-Freydis, could you come here for a minute?” I called into the main room once I stopped stammering incoherently. I leaned to my left and slid down the wall as the shock of the situation hit me, Sombra wanted to make me Freydis’s dad. Could I be a dad? He made it sound like I already was, but I’d only known her for six years. Almost half of her life. Would she want me as a parent? Thoughts like these plagued me until Freydis walked in and looked at me curiously.

“What’s wrong Uncle Jekyll? Did something bad happen again?” Freydis asked, scaring herself. I reached over and pulled her into my lap.

“Nothing bad, just sudden,” I soothed, “Sombra wants to make me your dad.”

“Mom told me not to say anything,” Freydis began sadly, “But she once said she was waiting for you to grow some balls and make us a real family.”

“It means courage, little one,” Sombra answered helpfully, “Your mother sounds like a smart hen.”

“Where is this coming from? I never got that impression, Sigrid always seemed indifferent to me,” I asked, more to myself.

“Jay, my boy, gryphons are curious creatures, hens even more so,” Sombra laughed, slapping my shoulder roughly.

“Could you not be so damn happy right now?” I requested.

“Right, sore subject. As Jay here said so bluntly, I intend to make him your legal guardian. You’ll need a legally recognized parent to handle the paperwork involved in placing you in our school system,” Sombra explained to Freydis. Freydis looked at me curiously.

“Is this our home now? What happened to the cabin?” She asked.

“It’s still there, but we couldn’t stay. You were dying and I couldn’t save you by myself,” I replied. I didn’t want to tell her the entire place was covered in her mother’s blood.

“What are-” Wind Chill began from the doorway.

“Chilly, let it go,” Sombra interrupted softly, causing Wind Chill to fall silent immediately.

“Whether we stay here is up to you, we could go anywhere in the world you want,” I finished.

“What if I want to go back to our old home?” Freydis asked pointedly.

“Frey, your mother-well, she was your mother. There’s a pretty big mess waiting back there,” I admitted.

“How many?” Freydis continued, her tone becoming sharp.

“How many what?” I replied, confused.

“How many did she take with her?” she clarified.

“Four,” I answered after a moment.

“I counted twelve shadows, at least the family pride will live on,” Freydis stated, puffing up her chest plumage proudly, “This place seems as good as any, I’m okay with living here.”

“That just leaves finding you a vacant house that fits your budget,” Sombra added happily.

“Uh, we don’t have any money. Is there a bank here that would loan us enough to get a place? I can do any kind of job,” I said, my voice dropping.

“You can live with me,” Wind Chill offered.

“Chilly,” Sombra warned, “I know you only have two beds.”

“That’s fine, I don’t need one. I don’t sleep,” I added, completely missing the point of Sombra’s warning.

“Woot, another mismatched group of parental figures,” Freydis commented sarcastically.

“Frey, Sombra’s a king and Chilly just opened her home to us, show some respect,” I chided.

“Teenagers, am I right?” Wind Chill joked, gesturing toward the front door with a hoof while she floated out of the way. Somehow.

“Thanks Sombra. If you ever need anything, let me know,” I said, moving in to shake the stallion’s hoof gratefully.

“I might just have something, actually. I’ll swing by in an hour or so to fill you in on the details. I think you’ll find this to our mutual benefit,” he replied with a knowing smirk as he shook my hand with both of his forehooves.

“I look forward to it,” I called as I backed out of the room and followed Wind Chill into the street.

“He likes you,” Wind Chill commented idly when I caught up, “Not really a surprise, King S is pretty friendly to everyone.”

“You know I have to ask. Why let us stay with you?” I asked, unintentionally making Wind Chill flinch.

“It’s personal,” Wind Chill shot back.

“No need for hostility, it just left the realm of personal when Freydis got involved,” I pointed out.

“I’m lonely, okay! No one likes wendigos, they blame us for the cold and...other things,” Wind Chill admitted, her anger shifting to grief.

“I’ve heard the Hearth’s Warming tale, but as far as I care it’s just a story. You’ve given me no indication that you want to freeze us, hell, you led me out of the cold,” I replied easily.

“Not that, though that story is true. It was a hard time for us, some tried to take action. They just went about it the wrong way, now most civilized places believe we feed on hate. I’m getting sidetracked, Frost would throw a fit if she saw me. Like I was saying, they don’t like us for a different reason,” Wind Chill explained.

“Which is?” I pried.

“Not suitable for polite discussion. Play your cards right and I might tell you later, after a certain young hen has gone to bed,” Wind Chill said curtly, glancing at Freydis.

“Okay then. Wait, how do you know about cards? I didn’t think they existed here,” I asked, having attempted to play poker with my coworkers back when I worked construction and failing.

“It’s just an expression, don’t read too much into it,” Wind Chill groaned. Well, groaned as well as she could considering her howling speech.

“You’re both fuckin weird,” Freydis commented from my right.

“Language,” I scolded lightly.

“Why? Why should I care about manners? Maybe you haven’t noticed, but my entire life just disappeared in an instant, I don’t have a clue where I am, I’m following this-this stretchy floaty thing to-apparently her-house, and on top of everything else, the fact that I’m never going to see my mom again is starting to hit me. So please, tell me why I should watch my fucking language!” Freydis raged, her voice rising to a scream by the end. Surprisingly, we only garnered a few sad looks from the other people on the street before they returned to what they were doing. I had expected disapproving stares.

“Do what you have to do, Freydis, we’ll be here if you want to talk,” Wind Chill offered gently before I could recover.

“Fuck both of you. You’re well known, right?” Freydis demanded. Wind Chill nodded, “Then I’ll show up eventually.”

“Frey, wait!” I called as she took off, though I was stopped by a hoof on my shoulder.

“She just needs some time to come to grips with everything, she’ll come around. Besides, there hasn’t been any violent crime here in centuries, she’ll be fine on her own,” Wind Chill advised me, pointing to a group of children of all different species running and playing unsupervised, “You’re in the nicest city in the world, and I don’t mean the sights.”

“Can you promise me that she’ll be okay? Can you say with one hundred percent certainty that no harm will come to her?” I asked quietly.

“Anywhere else, the answer would be no. But I’ve lived here since the kingdom was founded, I watched Sombra rise to power, I’ve seen pony strangers bandage a young dog’s skinned knee, and I have watched a caribou and a lycan fall in love and adopt an abandoned viiccon. So yes, I can say with absolute certainty that she won’t get hurt. Any more than she already is, anyway. But that too will ease with time,” Wind Chill reassured, nodding sagely.

“One question. What the everloving fuck is a viiccon?” I asked dumbly, that one word throwing off my entire train of thought.

“A really big minotaur. They have all kinds of problems growing up and are usually scorned for needing more food than their peers, add in that they can’t fit in the mines and kill their mothers when they're born, and you end up with the perfect storm of social rejection. I was talking about Dirge, by the way, I watched him grow up. You might say that I’m his adopted aunt,” Wind chill explained, smiling proudly in the direction of the gate.

“So that’s what a minotaur looks like, I kinda thought he was some sort of cow-thing,” I mused, considering the size of the chef for the first time, “Is he going to be mad you told me this?”

“Nah, he’s the poster colt for this place and he knows it. Why do you think he feeds every newcomer for free? It lets people know that everyone is welcome, even those not considered proper by society,” Wind Chill replied, slowing to a stop outside a modest townhouse.

“He seems like a good guy, and he’s lucky to have a friend like you backing him up,” I praised.

“Friend? Dirge and I aren’t friends, we’re family. Jay, this is true everywhere, but especially up here, family doesn’t mean blood. It’s the people you care about and the people who care about you. Sombra might’ve put it on paper, but you were already that chick’s dad. I heard what you told Sombra about the hive, that isn’t something an ‘adopted uncle’ would do,” Wind Chill rebuked as she wrapped her entire body around my waist before placing her hooves around my neck in a hug.

“Hey Chilly, is this how wendigos always hug?” I asked, a little uncomfortable with the amount of contact.

“Well, it’s modified a little to be more normal. I’d typically place my forehead against yours so we could still see each other, but most find that a bit creepy and sexual,” Wind Chill admitted.


Present Day


“That is not how wendigos hug. They hug others with their forelegs, just like everypony else,” Luna pointed out.

“Yep, learned that one later on,” I agreed, “I’ll answer pretty much everything in time. Now, back to the story.”


994 Years Ago


“Bit of an all or nothing attitude, eh? I can dig it,” I replied, not wanting to seem unwilling to embrace other cultures.

“Was that an insult?” Wind Chill asked, pulling her head away from me.

“I don’t understand the question. I can dig it translates to: I am okay with this. Does that answer your question?” I countered.

“Uh, yeah,” Wind Chill responded lamely, sliding off of me like water.

“Say, is there a doctor I could pester? I really want to figure out how I work and the limits of my abilities. But mostly this weird haze I see around people,” I asked.

“Well, there’s Doctor Death, he’s a really old lich and loves discovering new things. But you’re probably sensing their souls, all demons can,” she replied.

“I’m not a demon,” I snapped on reflex, “Sorry, I’m just tired of people making that assumption.”

“Really? No way, that doesn’t make any sense. How can you be a shifter and not be a demon or a changeling?” Wind Chill asked, returning to a normal conversation distance after darting away at my outburst.

“I’m not from this world, for starters. In fact, I’m fairly certain I’m a virus,” I said, shrugging. Wind Chill searched my face for a moment before slamming through the door of the townhouse, I heard water running a few seconds later. I shrugged again before following her into the house.

“Gotta get clean, can’t get sick. Stupid alien disease thing, couldn’t he have told me that before I rubbed myself all over him?” I heard through the bathroom door, even though I was still in the entryway.

“Hey Chilly, I’m not contagious!” I called as I walked past on my way to scout out Freydis’s new room. I figured I might as well get something done while Wind Chill was having a panic attack.

“You’re not?” Wind Chill asked, flinging the door open and letting it slam against the wall. She was soaking wet, obviously having just jumped back out of the shower.

“You’d know. If I am what I think I am, you’d be dead by now. Or worse, that’s an option too,” I replied.

“Define worse.”

“Mutated walking corpse viciously tearing into your friends and neighbors with no control of yourself, eternally spreading the disease as you seek out survivors and new areas to attack. In that order.”

“How do you know that?” she asked suspiciously.

“I haven’t tested anything, if that’s what you’re asking. Kinda why I wanted to talk with a doctor, figure these kinds of things out. As for where I’m getting the rest, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I responded.

“Try me,” Wind Chill demanded, pushing me against the wall with a hoof.

“I bought what was supposed to be a costume prop from a story about a sentient virus and woke up in the Everfree like this. It was not a planned event,” I clarified.

“I believe you, but I have to wonder why you don’t infect everyone around you,” Wind Chill replied, placing her free hoof to her chin in thought while she continued to hold me in place with the other.

“It wasn’t a thing in the story. The guy did it on purpose in the sequel, but it took a different character to infect the city in the original. Back when Mercer wasn’t a prick,” I explained.

“I assume Mercer was the virus guy?” 

“The main one, there were a few others.”

“You aren’t planning to follow his example, right?” 

“Hell no, I’d much rather live out my days in peace and quiet. My adventuring days ended when I walked through that gate,” I declared confidently.


Present Day


“You did not say that,” Luna challenged.

“Yeah, I did. Fate makes liars out of the best of us sometimes. I also didn’t know how long I’d live, I expected to die there after a few decades,” I replied, shaking my head.

“Hello? Are you two doing okay? I’ve brought Twilight, if that’s okay?” Fluttershy asked as she poked her head into her own house.

“Yeah sure, bring her on in,” I said, having to talk louder to be heard over Luna’s laughter. Fluttershy opened the door the rest of the way and gingerly moved to sit in her chair as Twilight stormed over to where Luna was laughing on the floor, having fallen off the couch as Twilight walked in.

“Glad at least you are having a good day,” Twilight criticized angrily.

“When one is having a rough day, it helps to savor the pleasant parts as well as you can,” Luna advised seriously, though she refused to move from her awkward position on the floor.

“Could you at least not lay on your back like that? It’s demeaning and mentors, especially princesses, are supposed to be held to a higher standard,” Twilight requested, groaning.

“May I call you Twilight?” Twilight nodded. “Twilight, one of the first things I learned since my return is that social requirements are best considered optional. If I were to follow every rule I have been given over the years, I would sit in an office doing Tia’s paperwork all night with no friends or anypony to talk to. Between that being the very root of where the Nightmare came from and Jay’s intervention, I no longer feel the need to follow those rules.”

“You still look like you’re waiting for a stallion to walk up and rut you,” Twilight pointed out. Luna looked at me for a moment.

“Your student, tell her what you want,” I allowed. Celestia had already caught us, so I didn’t really care anymore.

“Miss Sparkle, a stallion that were so inclined would have to get past my husband first. I do not foresee this happening,” Luna replied with a smirk. Some of the hairs in Twilight’s mane popped out of place with an audible snap.

“What?” she hissed.

“Are you two going to argue all day, or can I continue talking about my old roommate?” I interjected before things could get too heated.

“Not until I learn who the new king of Equestria is,” Twilight demanded, she was starting to get a crazed look in her eye.

“You called him a monster earlier today,” I hinted, “Anyway, Sombra came by a while later and-”

“YOU? You are the king? No, nope, this can’t be happening. I did not hear you claim to be the king of Equestria. Because that would mean that I called THE KING a monster, and I couldn’t do that. Because then I’d be sent back to magic kindergarten for sure, no, the king could send me further back! I’m definitely going back to magic preschool and kept from moving up to magic kindergarten,” Twilight raved, her voice filling with despair.

“Twilight.”

“I’m gonna spent the rest of my life learning basic levitation and horn lighting over and over,” Twilight wailed.

“Twilight.”

“Maybe I’ll get lucky and just get banished, but I don’t know where I’d get banished to. Would it be the moon...or the sun....oh Celestia, it’s Tartarus! It has to be, I’m going to be eaten by demons for su-hu-hu-hu-re!” Twilight sobbed, grabbing the closest object for comfort, which happened to be Luna.

“Twilight fucking Sparkle, listen to me this instant!” I yelled sternly before softening my tone, “That’s how Chelly handles things. In case you somehow didn’t notice, I’m not Chelly. Besides, you’re missing the other side of this revelation, the queen offered to be your mentor.”

“Hello,” Luna said quietly as she looked at the mare clinging to her midriff. Twilight gasped and jumped back to her feet, apologizing repeatedly and attempting to clean the tear stains out of Luna’s coat, “Twilight, I’m trusting you with this private information, I request that you not fawn over me like this.”

“Of course your majesty, anything you want,” Twilight said hurriedly, stumbling back and bowing. Luna sighed and walked over to sit next to Fluttershy’s chair.

“Twilight, come sit with me, I think you need to hear this more than I do. It should teach you how to not panic when speaking to royalty,” Luna ordered gently, patting the space to her right with a hoof. Luna removed all the spiked parts of her outfit as Twilight hesitantly walked over and sat down.

“How’s this your highness?” Twilight asked nervously. There were at least six inches between them. Luna placed a hoof to her chin and hummed for a moment before seizing Twilight in her hooves and dragging her into her lap.

“Isn’t this much better than sitting all by yourself on the cold floor? Relax, Twilight, we’re all friends here,” Luna snickered as she hugged Twilight’s back to her chest as a mother would while reading to a foal.

“As I was SAYING,” I declared pointedly, tossing a light glare at the two mares.


994 Years Ago


Sombra showed up around an hour later, just like he promised, and gave me the offer he had hinted at earlier. An offer to join the city guard, though it was permanently contracted to The Order of Iron. I learned later that he had to get permission from the order before he could send them a recruit. I accepted and started my training the next day, a week later I was declared a full member, and after a month I had my own squad. The order worked on a system of merit and capability, and they liked my capabilities.

I continued living in Wind Chill’s townhouse with Freydis and, while we had our rough patches, Freydis and I became a proper family. Mostly. You see, Freydis had met another gryphon during her time sulking on our first day in the Crystal Kingdom and they were getting closer than I was comfortable with. Although, Freydis didn’t know that I knew about her new friend until he got brave enough to knock on the door.

“I got it!” Freydis called from upstairs, rushing to beat Wind Chill and I to the door.

“Too late,” Wind Chill shouted back, already opening the door. I slipped behind the door and waited for my moment to strike.

“Uh, hey Chilly, is Freydis-uh-home?” the tawny gryphon asked, clearly nervous and terrified of something. I briefly wondered about what he was so afraid of, sarcastically of course.

“Sure, come on in. Make yourself at home, she’ll be down in a second,” Wind Chill replied, all but dragging the poor gryphon into the house.

“Thanks Chilly. Say-uh-Jekyll isn’t around, is he?” I slammed the door. “EEP!”

“So you’re the one Freydis has been sneaking out to see. She did tell you that I’d know, right? Even if I can’t see you, I can smell you, and I can smell where you’ve been, and I can smell what you’ve done. All without leaving this house, which I do anyway. Like to figure out where you live, or to follow you on one of your little dates,” I accused, my tone calm and relaxed. The gryphon however looked ready to piss himself and dive out the window, “You know who I am, do you know what I do to pricks that hurt my daughter?”

“N-n-n-no s-sir,” the gryphon managed.

“Well, Garalt, I killed an entire changeling hive for touching her. But they’re bugs, nobody cares about bugs. If you hurt her, either physically or otherwise, they’ll have to come up with new words to describe what happens to you. Do we have an understanding?” I threatened. Using the gryphon’s name caused him to stop breathing and shiver in terror.

“Yes sir,” he squeaked.

“Good, and your stutter is gone too. Have some confidence and make sure she’s back home at a reasonable hour, it’s a school night,” I ordered, clapping the young gryphon on the shoulder.

“You’re not going to kill me?” he asked.

“Nope, not right now at least. I haven't lied to you, but this talk was something of a requirement that comes with being a father. Maybe privilege would be a better word,” I replied, internally wondering what was taking Freydis so long.

“Even after we-”

“Imma stop you right there. She’s fourteen, you’re fifteen, as long as she wants to and the two of you are using protection-which I have found in her room-then I don’t want to hear about it. Ever, like, at all,” I interrupted. That was the last time I investigated an odd smell.

“Wow, and I thought I was chill,” Wind Chill commented, having relocated to the living room to listen in without intruding.

“Your name is Chill,” I pointed out, “But seriously, I don’t want to know what the two of you do on your own time. As long as Freydis comes home with a smile on her beak, I’m happy. Just remember, I’m not above peeling your dick like a banana if she comes home in tears over something you’ve done.”

“Yes sir,” Garalt gasped, having stopped breathing again.

“Yo Frey, you fall asleep up there?” I called, not looking away from the suffocating gryphon in front of me.

“Just wishing I was dead. Are you done ruining my life?” Freydis replied, I fought to keep my composure.

“Nah, Garalt and I are good friends now, right Garalt? Yeah, he’s not breathing right now for some reason, I’m sure he’ll be fine. Maybe you should come downstairs and snap him out of his self imposed suffocation. Maybe it’ll be like in one of those stories where he needs a kiss to wake him up,” I teased.

“Daaaad! Would you please stop embarrassing me?” Freydis begged.

“Nope, that’s my job you’re talking about. Now get down here before he dies, I’m seriously starting to get worried,” I ordered, poking Garalt in a weak attempt to get him to breathe.

“Uug, fine. Just don’t scare him any more, he’s had a hard enough life already,” Freydis requested as she finally started walking down the stairs.

“So I’ve heard. We will be talking about that particular detail later, young lady,” I warned, shifting my glare onto Freydis.

“Whatever, you’re not my real dad,” she shot back.

“Freydis!” Wind Chill angrily snapped from the living room.

“Clearly, but I’m the closest thing you’ve got. I want you back for dinner, you can bring blue-beak if you want, and then we’ll discuss your feelings and intentions,” I responded with false calm, internally I was a mess. Anger, disappointment, and sorrow all vied for my attention.

“Yes sir,” Garalt wheezed, grabbing Freydis’s talon and sprinting out the door.

“Didn’t think he’d have enough air to run like that, impressive,” I commented, earning a somewhat sad laugh from Wind Chill.

“Hey Jay, are you okay?” she asked, I closed the door and walked into the living room to join her on the couch.

“Not really, I was pretty torn up when I found those things under her bed. This all just made me realize that Freydis isn’t the little chick that I met in Everfree City anymore, and I wasn’t prepared for her to get a boyfriend. I really wasn’t prepared to find out she was having sex before I even met the guy,” I groaned, dragging my claws down my face.

“I suppose it was a bit of a shock, but didn’t you know she’s in season?” Wind Chill asked.

“What?”

“Season, estrus, in heat? Anything ringing a bell?”

“WHAT?” I roared, shaking the entire house.

“Dude, calm down. It’s not that big a deal,” Wind Chill complained as she picked up a lamp that had tipped over from the force of my shout.

“But that means she’s not in her right mind and he’s taking advantage of her and I’m a horrible parent for letting them leave. Oh my god, I should have seen this coming. I’ve been working with Death to figure out what those hazes are, now I think they’re pheromones. I’m so fucking stupid,” I criticized, driving my fist into the side of my head weakly.

“It’s not that bad, gryphons are only in season for a few days. It’s way worse for wendigos but I’m not jumping your bones, and I’ve been in season for three years now,” Wind Chill admitted, her blue face fading to a dark purple.

“Wait, really? Then it isn’t an overpowering thing?” I asked hopefully.

“No, it’s more like...a slight lowering of inhibitions. For them anyway,” Wind Chill explained, “Honestly, it probably didn’t do anything more than give the kid a chance before she started clawing his eyes out.”

“That’s a relief. What did you mean by ‘for them’ though?” I continued. After some confusion and an altercation with a goat, I learned that ‘kid’ was an acceptable term for children of all races as long as there weren’t any goats around.

“Don’t worry about it, just a stray thought,” Wind Chill replied quickly.


Present Day


I was the only one without an embarrassed blush when I stopped, “Alright, this is as good a place to stop as any, it’s starting to get late and AJ hasn’t moved. I think we should get her to a hospital.”

“Ah’m fine, sugarcube, jus listenin’.”

“Okay then, anyone hungry?”

“No, keep talking!” Twilight demanded, she was more engrossed than Luna at his point. Though they had shifted so Luna was back on the couch and Twilight and Fluttershy were sharing the chair.

“Yes Jay, you can’t just leave us there, what happened with Freydis after that?” Luna pressed.

“We had a boring and awkward conversation while Chilly kept everything peaceful and filled in the scientific parts,” I replied with a shrug.

“I can’t believe you actually met a wendigo, I’ve read so much about them!” Twilight gushed, gripping Fluttershy in an excited hug.

“I lived in that house for twenty years. I wouldn’t use the word ‘met,’ more like ‘lived with’. Also, everything you’ve read is a lie, the only accurate book on wendigos vanished with the rest of the kingdom,” I replied.

“And what of this Wind Chill? My own knowledge of her kind is warning of some interesting times in the future. Or past, you know what I mean,” Luna asked.

“Yes, things boiled over at one point, but that’s pretty personal and you’ll need her permission before I’ll talk about it,” I stated firmly.

“How bad?” Luna pressed.

“Year three of living there, she lost her damn mind and attacked me. Full on biting and kicking,” I replied, intentionally keeping the others in the dark. Luna winced sympathetically.

“Poor thing,” Luna commented sadly.

“Either tell the rest of us what’s goin’ on or just keep tellin’ yer story,” Applejack demanded from the dog bed.

“Quick question, why were you okay with what Freydis was doing?” Twilight asked, raising her hoof as though she was in a classroom.

“I wasn’t, but I didn’t know how to stop her without making her hate me. I’d followed them a couple times, I saw how much she relied on Garalt for support. Keeping them apart would cause more harm than good and I wasn’t about to do that to her. On top of that, I was already losing my grasp on what sex meant and found myself caring less every day,” I explained, raising a few eyebrows.

“Could ya explain that a bit more?” Applejack pressed.

“I’m an asexual shapeshifter, the different parts of my body change and move every second. You shake my hand and it might’ve been my face or ass ten minutes ago, neither of us will know ‘cause I don’t keep track, it’s all just biomass to me. My way of thinking was already shifting into how it is now and I saw them the same way, just with an added level of parental protectiveness and unease,” I clarified.

“But-”

“Jay, just keep going or we’ll be here for days,” Luna ordered.

“Okay, but after that it get’s pretty boring and I don’t want to sit here for twenty years, so I’m going to start summarizing things. I’ll still hit the major events, but don’t expect me to hand out sensitive information.”


990-ish Years Ago


I fell into an easy routine after we got settled in, and you could take one look at my day and see the next couple years. I left the house at sunrise and made my way to Dirge’s for breakfast. I didn’t usually need it, but the company was nice. After that I’d form my armor and meet my team near the central tower for a day of wandering the city looking for nonexistent crime. Seriously, we never found anything out of place besides the occasional pair of teenagers that thought they were being sneaky.

Once my shift ended, I’d meet the Infernus triplets for tea. They were a nice bunch of demonettes I met during my rounds when I first started, and we all liked tea. Once we had finished our third or fourth cup and run out of things to talk about, I’d head over to Doc Death to run some experiments with my powers.

Death was the one who helped me figure out exactly how dangerous I am. He had the great idea of locking me in a sealed room with a pair of cadavers to measure exactly how the virus attacked. He cut the experiment off once the, already autopsied, corpses starting begging for death and clawing at the window. I can understand why. 

Death also managed to confirm my ability to see microparticles in the air, what you would call smells. He helped me out more than my trainers in the order during those years, always pushing me further than ever before, always striving to find my limit, that point where I couldn’t do any more. He never found it, but damn did he try. 

He always said, “Jekyll, if you don’t know when you need to rest, how will you know if you can win?”

Terrible line, but he preferred taking notes anyway.

Then I’d go home, find a spot on the couch that Wind Chill wasn’t occupying, and read. Novels, history, biology, everything the royal library had to offer. Unlike in Equestria, the entire royal archives are public in the Crystal Kingdom. It’s part of the same mentality of why Sombra lived in a normal house instead of the main tower: even if you’re the king, you’re still a citizen and therefore responsible for your actions. 

Sombra was always transparent about everything, from where our taxes went to who he was dating. I expected to learn some juicy details when I briefly became part of his entourage, but there wasn’t anything that wasn’t already common knowledge. It was kind of disappointing, honestly.

Freydis and Garalt slowly became inseparable, the tawny gryphon dropping by the house more and more frequently as he became more comfortable with my presence. Eventually they stopped leaving the house and just hung around the living room or, more commonly, Freydis’s bedroom. Personally, I was happier to have them in the house as it eliminated my chances of happening across their ‘completely normal conversations’ during my rounds. At least Garalt was still too scared of me to try anything while I was around, though I got the impression that he was far from in control of the relationship. Freydis was always dragging her-I refuse to call him her mate-around and yelling at him when he did something she didn’t like. Wind Chill reassured me that the females were the dominant ones in gryphon culture, but I still thought she was going too far.

Everything changed during an event known as the Second Awakening, but it’s considered classified by both Equestria and the Crystal Kingdom for fear that some idiot will try for a third one. Anyway, I was selected to form a team and stop it, we did. I’m sorry, I can’t say any more without permission from Sombra himself. I really don’t care about having Celestia’s permission. Just trust me when I say that we were awesome. When I returned with my team intact, I was told to meet the three leaders of the order at noon the next day. That was the night Wind Chill attacked, if anyone was curious. 

The next day, Wind Chill and I were standing outside the room where I was supposed to meet my bosses for the first time, three secretive individuals that hid behind screens and called themselves the Triad. Wind Chill didn’t need to be there, but she had been silently following me around the whole day. She clearly had something on her mind, but wouldn’t talk or look me in the eyes.

“Chilly, just talk to me. I don’t know why they want to speak with me and I’m getting really nervous. You giving me the silent treatment isn’t helping. Please, Chilly,” I begged, having tried the entire morning to get my roommate to talk at all. Wind Chill finally turned towards me and a single tear fell to the ground, more following shortly after as she launched herself into my chest.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t move out, I’ll do whatever you want, please-please-please don’t leave me alone again,” she rambled, her long forelegs wrapped tightly around my stomach.

“I wasn’t planning on moving out, why would I do that?” I asked, confused.

“Because I lost control and-” Wind Chill attempted before I cut her off.

“And we’re cool now. You let your wendigoness take over and I helped you get it back under control, that’s what friends do. They help each other, even when they’re not themselves. Especially when they’re not themselves,” I chided lightly, “What was the first thing you said when you came to your senses?”

“I’m sorry,” Wind Chill replied quickly.

“And what did I say?” I continued.

“You said that it was okay, but everypony says that and then I never see them again and I lose them as a friend and it’s horrible,” she wept into my chest, burying her face deeper as she spoke.

“I’m not a pony, therefore that statement doesn’t apply to me,” I reasoned, “Chilly, you’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. I looked up wendigos a while back, I know how much your kind cherishes friends. I wouldn’t do that to you, I’ll be right here as long as both of us are alive. Oh mortality, you cruel mistress, I’m turning forty this week, now I feel old,” I joked, though Wind Chill just seemed scared.

“How old will you get?” she asked fearfully.

“Dunno. Before I got like this, I had a life expectancy of around eighty or a hundred. Now I don’t really know, might die in ten minutes or ten thousand years. No clue, not even Doc Death can figure it out,” I explained.

“You just ended the Awakening and saved the world, I doubt you’re going to keel over now. Wait, if you looked up wendigos, then you knew! You knew what was happening the whole time!” Wind Chill practically screamed at me, her howls echoing off the walls and down the hallway.

“And I helped my friend through a difficult time in her life.” There was a knock on the door, my signal to enter. “I gotta go Chilly, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Just remember us little guys when they make you a legate,” Wind Chill requested as she released her hold on me and smiled.

“Doubtful, I didn’t do that much,” I replied dejectedly.

“Not that much? You saved the whole frickin world! That’s huge! Now get in there and show ‘em what you’re made of, metaphorically speaking,” Wind Chill encouraged, slapping her hoof against my rear as I walked into the meeting room with false confidence.

Wind Chill was waiting for me when I walked out, nearly two hours later. It was clear from the way she scrambled away from the door that she had been trying to listen in, though the inside of the meeting room glowed with a soundproofing spell the entire time.

“Well?” she asked expectantly, looking at the confident facade I still wore.

“I’ve been reassigned to the thirteenth legion,” I said. Wind Chill’s face fell, concern written on her face. The thirteenth was commonly referred to as ‘Suicide Watch’ due to the types of contracts they were sent on.


Present Day


“Contracts?” Twilight asked.

“Right, shoulda explained that earlier. The Order of Iron was divided into three sections: the guard, the soldiers, and the supporting forces. Referred to as the Shield, Sword, and Cart, respectively. Chilly was on one of the support teams, specifically search and rescue. I got moved into one of the legions, which are the soldiers. Now, since the kingdom didn’t actually need a standing military, the order rented us out to other nations to handle the problems they couldn’t deal with themselves. The thirteenth legion was famous for it’s above average mission difficulty, success rate, and mortality rate. It was where the best went to die in the glory of battle, or some shit like that,” I explained.

“Oh my, what kind of missions were they sent on?” Fluttershy asked, having never gotten me to talk about this time in my life before.

“Minor demon incursions, large quantities of hostile wildlife, civil wars, things like that,” I clarified, shrugging.

“That doesn’t seem so bad,” Twilight commented.

“Twilight, a minor demon incursion means that there are less than ten thousand of them bleeding out of every vertical surface. It is a small wonder why we still construct buildings with vertical walls instead of angled,” Luna pointed out.

“Small wonder? Ah’d say that’s a mighty big wonder if it’s that much of a problem,” Applejack added.

“Tis small because I already know the answer, my sister and her obsession with making everything seem perfect. I would have thought she’d have learned by now, first her perfect government creates the Nightmare, then she poisons Jay against Equestria, then the dumb walls thing, and now she’s brought a war on our ponies because she just had to pointlessly hunt Jay across the world. Half of these are because he’s not a pretty prancing pony,” Luna groused, holding her head in her hooves.

“How many soldiers are in a legion?” Twilight asked. She had started taking notes at some point, and her quill hovered over a blank section next to the figures depicting a minor incursion.

“One thousand legionaries and one legate, not nearly enough,” I replied.

“Oh, um, please continue,” Twilight murmured as she filled in her notes.

“It’s cool, I’m nearly done for today,” I replied.


990-ish Years Ago


“Oh Jay, I’m so sorry,” Wind Chill cried as she threw her hooves around my neck supportively.

“As their new legate,” I finished, still stunned by the news.

“They gave you the thirteenth? That’s amazing, Jay! We need to celebrate,” Wind Chill insisted, becoming ecstatic at the other side of my promotion.

“Okay then,” I muttered, allowing myself to be led outside.

“This is gonna be great, I’ll get Dirge to cater and those Infernus gals for entertainment and all of our friends will be there and it’ll be awesome,” Wind Chill raved excitedly as she drug me out of the order’s headquarters and down the street.

“Why would the triplets be on entertainment duty?” I asked, genuinely confused. Everything else made sense and I knew enough to not try to talk her down.

“Jay, you really are dense sometimes, do you really not know what they are?” she asked, pausing to look at me accusingly.

“They’re demons, right?” I confirmed.

“Well yes. But more specifically, they’re succubi. And more importantly, in this situation anyway, they’re all strippers and prostitutes,” Wind Chill corrected.

“Really? I have tea with them every day, how did I not know this? Does the kingdom have a red light district? Why haven’t I seen it during any of my patrols?” I rattled off, caught completely off guard by this information.

“They don’t talk about it much. No. That’s why. Seriously, it’s necessary for them to stay alive out here and nobody’s complaining, so don’t make a big deal out of it. ‘Sides, they’ll work for free and I’m not made of money,” Wind Chill reasoned, returning to dragging me towards our house.

“What do you mean? Why is it necessary? Do they feed on lust or something?” I continued, becoming increasingly disturbed.

“No, they...they’re distracting. They can’t work normal jobs because the other employees just ogle them instead of working and customers hang around instead of buying things. But no, they can’t feed on emotions any more than I can, they just made the decision to fall back on their natural skills a while back rather than starve,” Wind Chill explained with a sigh.

“Why?” I pressed.

“You know why, you’ve seen them,” Wind Chill replied cryptically. I had no idea what she was talking about. I recognized that the triplets were pretty, but not to any extreme degree.

Once we arrived, Wind Chill immediately started barking orders towards the stairs, “Frey, get your feathered ass down here and keep Jay occupied. Garalt, with me, we’ve got a party to set up.”

“Kinda busy right now, can’t this wait a few more min-never mind, we’ll be down in a second,” Freydis replied, I could almost hear her scowl. An embarrassed Garalt walked down the stairs a few seconds later.

“I think I should just go,” he muttered.

“Chilly, you’re on pep talk detail. I don’t want to hear about it,” I ordered, removing my ability to hear as she led the young gryphon into the living room. I returned it when Freydis started walking down the stairs, she was due a lecture, “Is it necessary to bite the poor kid’s head off every day, I swear you’re like a praying mantis or something.”

“You make it sound like it’s my fault,” Freydis shot back.

“Look, I get that he’s your comfort, relief, and outlet for your emotions all rolled into one, but does he need to be your punching bag too? You aren’t as pissed off as when we arrived, but you’ve always acted like it when Garalt is in the room. I’m not asking for you to change your entire life, just don’t beat the dude up all the time, you know,” I requested.

“Like you have any idea what I’ve been through!” Freydis snapped.

“And I haven’t? I lost my entire family, all of my friends, my entire world, and my body when I got here. Then I lose my only person I could call a friend, but he was just the first person to be fucking nice to me. I lost Sigrid too, and I lost you. Do you have any idea how many changelings I killed to find you? I didn’t even know if you were still alive,” I hissed back angrily. Freydis stepped back in shock, I’d never shown any anger towards her before.

“Then why’d you do it?” Freydis asked weakly, all the anger she’d shown a moment before was gone.

“The same reason you pick on Garalt: I wanted them to suffer and die. The difference between us is that I had the actual murderers to vent my rage on, instead of an innocent cub,” I replied, my voice easing up slightly. I refused to call a male gryphon a chick, it seemed demeaning to me.

“He-you’re right, I’ve been a real bitch to him. It’s not his fault Chilly started shouting for us and scared him into finishing early,” Freydis conceded, causing me to recoil in disgust.

“Too much information. What part of ‘I don’t want to hear about it’ don’t you understand? Frey, I know I’m not your biological father but I still think of you as my daughter, hearing about your love life isn’t exactly comfortable for me,” I admonished.

“Sorry dad, I wasn’t thinking,” Freydis apologized. 

“It’s alright kiddo, let’s see if Chilly’s done scarring your boyfriend for life.” I looped a pair of tendrils under her arms and pulled her into a hug before walking with her into the living room.

“You done giving Garalt a heart attack?” Freydis asked harshly.

“Well we actually just started, I made us both tea first,” Wind Chill replied, gesturing towards her cup with her muzzle. Freydis wasn’t paying attention though, she had already crossed the room and shoved her tongue down Garalt’s throat.

“My dad helped me realize how mean I’ve been. I’m sorry,” Freydis whispered once she took time to breathe.

“Glad I could help,” I added.

“Daaaad, a little privacy?” Freydis complained.

“You had your privacy before we got home, now it’s time to get to work. Chilly, you were saying?” I stated, passing the torch to the self imposed party planner.

“Right. Garalt, I’ll need your help getting everything set up in time. Freydis, I need you to stay here and keep Jay from seeing anything before it’s ready. That means keeping him in the house,” Wind Chill ordered, rising into the air as she spoke. I never did figure out how she did that.

“If you move from that couch I will go into excruciating detail,” Freydis threatened, pointing at the spot Wind Chill had just vacated. I wasted no time leaping onto the couch.

“I’ll be good,” I said as quickly as I could. Freydis walked over and sat next to me while Wind Chill and Garalt set off to prepare my party.

“Thanks dad,” she said easily, leaning against my side. I wrapped my right arm over her shoulders and gently hugged her in response.

“Being a parent isn’t about rules or lectures, it’s about love and making sure your child is ready for the future. I pray I’m doing well enough,” I thought aloud.

“I’d say so. But I feel like I owe you an apology as well, I’ve been cruel to you and Chilly too. I just didn’t know what to do when I stopped being angry, I guess I just kept finding things to get angry about,” Freydis admitted.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, I always understood what you were trying to say. But you didn’t figure this out today,” I noted, “Why did it take so long for you to accept it?”

“I-I didn’t know what to do, or how to act, or-or how to make thing right with Garalt. I was scared he wouldn’t accept my apology and leave me. I was scared you and Chilly would lock me away from him or throw me out as punishment,” Freydis sobbed, burying her face in my shoulder as she confessed her fears.

“Frey, look at me. That is never going to happen. I will never keep you from the things that make you happy or throw you away like the shredded corpse of a changeling,” I reassured her, purposefully bringing up her rescue for emphasis. Freydis sat up straighter and slid her left arm around my shoulder to mirror the way I was holding her, though she kept her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that in a comfortable silence until Wind Chill came back to retrieve us.

“Well, aren’t you two adorable. Come on, you don’t want to be late to your own party,” Wind Chill said with a smile when she saw us. Freydis released her hold on my shoulders and made a beeline for Wind Chill, wrapping the wendigo in a hug.

“I’m so sorry Chilly, you took us in and I’ve been horrible to you ever since,” Freydis sobbed, once more in tears as she was overcome with emotion.

“Oh Frey, you aren’t the first to take her time figuring out how to deal with grief, and you are far from the first person to yell at me. This is the moment that makes it all worth it, the moment you let yourself be who you are instead of who the past makes you. You don’t have to apologize, I forgave you for every shout and cruel word before you opened your beak. I once told you that up here your family is the people that care about you, remember? I care about you, and I think of you as a daughter as well,” Wind Chill soothed, gently rocking Freydis in her hooves as she spoke.

“Thank you...mom,” Freydis whimpered, holding Wind Chill as tight as she could without digging her talons into the mare. Freydis never called Wind Chill ‘mom’ again, but it was touching at the time.

“What does that make us?” I asked curiously.

“Oh Jay, the Crystal Kingdom doesn’t require nuclear families. There’s a pony a few blocks over with six mothers and two fathers, and none of them even like each other. The only thing they have in common is their love for that colt. We’re roommates and friends, mostly because I don’t have a name for what we would be otherwise. I mean, we’re not married but I wouldn’t call us siblings either,” Wind Chill replied with an uncomfortable expression.

“Agreed. Come on Frey, let’s get you cleaned up and go have some fun,” I suggested. Freydis continued to hold on to Wind Chill for a few more seconds before giving her a final squeeze and letting go, allowing me to clean the tears out of her feathers with a pass of my hands.

“Do I look okay?” Freydis asked once I had finished cleaning her off.

“You look good. Eyes are a little red, but not too noticeable. It’s still bright enough to justify sunglasses, if you want,” I replied.

“No, I’ll take the hit to my pride. Maybe it’ll show the others that I’m done being angry all the time,” Freydis responded, a resolute look forming.

“Cool, let’s go,” I said. As Wind Chill led us to the main square, I could already hear the typical sounds of a party. The clanking of mugs and calls for toasts, the catcalls directed towards the waitresses and entertainers, and most of all, the roaring laughter of friends having a good time.

Once we were in sight of the party, I was shocked by what I found in the center: a stage had been set up with a single pole in the center. All three of the Infernus triplets danced around this pole at the same time, flowing gracefully around each other as they showed off their naked bodies. Wind Chill had used my promotion party as an excuse to turn the main square into a stripclub.

“Ah, the perks of being bipedal. I could never do anything like that,” Wind Chill mused, eliciting dumb nods from Freydis and I as we watched in awe.

“It’s...impressive,” I agreed, dumbstruck by this side of my daily tea companions, “They certainly know their trade, look at all those crowns on the stage.”

“I feel funny. I think I should find Garalt before I turn gay,” Freydis commented before hurrying off into the crowd.

“Is that a real risk?” I asked, earning a bemused look from Wind Chill, “Hey, I don’t know if there’s some magic going on or what.”

“To put it simply: if I don’t carry one or all of them home tonight, I will be sorely disappointed. I might even be tempted to share,” Wind Chill offered, giving me my answer. Wind Chill was as straight as they get.

“You could’ve just said yes,” I deadpanned.

“Nope, there’s no magic, succubi are just perfect. Mare or stallion, no one can resist their charms,” Wind Chill rebuked.

“I don’t understand. They’re pretty, no doubt, but I’m not compelled to bed any of them,” I commented, hopefully allowing Wind Chill to understand my confusion.

“Seriously? You don’t find them sexy?” I shook my head. “Wow, okay. So those three have the ideal bipedal female form, got it?” I nodded. “And they can contort their bodies in impossible ways, still with me?” Another nod. “This means their species is sexually compatible with literally every other species on the planet and have been for basically forever, thus everyone instinctively sees them as sex symbols. I don’t know anyone that wouldn’t pay thousands of crowns to take them home.”

“Then I’m ‘no one,’ I’m just impressed by their routine. Takes a lot of skill and practice to move like that,” I countered.

“Prove it,” Wind Chill countered, “A hundred, no, a thousand crowns says you won’t turn them down.”

“I can hear your purse screaming already,” I commented as I walked to the stage, other partygoers moving out of my way and shouting their congratulations on my promotion. 

“Fat chance,” Wind Chill called after me.

“Hey Cat,” I greeted the sister facing me.

“Oooh, Jay baby, are you here for a good time?” Catrix Infernus asked. While her voice was the definition of sensual, she went the extra mile and moaned every word that could be considered sexual, “Shay and Tyr are waiting on you too, you know.”

“Hmm, tempting, but I have a thousand crowns riding on my ability to turn you down,” I replied, a confident smile crossing my face as everyone else balked.

“If you can baby, I won’t even be mad. I like my males impressive,” Catrix purred.

“Speaking of impressive, that dance though. Two of you I could see, but all three? And without looking? You must have gotten kicked in the face so many times during practice,” I asked, earning a laugh from my friend.

“Oh Jay, you always know how to make a girl smile. Yes, the first couple years were pretty rough,” Catrix replied, moving to sit on the edge of the stage. Rather than sit next to where I was standing, she opted to sit directly in front of me with her legs draped over my shoulders, “Go ahead and look baby, you know you want to. I know what happened during the Awakening, you know how fast word can spread, I can promise a night worth more than a thousand crowns for someone with your new title.”

“Meh, I’m good and that’s classified,” I said, keeping my gaze locked on her eyes.

“You might as well be made of granite. I can’t tempt you at all, can I?” Catrix asked in disbelief, her sentiment mirrored by the small crowd around me. I motioned for her to lean in with a finger.

“Doc Death figured out I’m asexual, I don’t get aroused,” I confessed.

“You naughty boy, cheating on a bet like that. Well, I tried at least. If you ever want to have some fun anyway, you know where to find me,” she offered, laying back to whisper the news to her pouting sisters. I waited patiently for Catrix to release her hold on my shoulders for a few seconds before tapping her leg to get her attention. While I was successful at getting her attention, it had the opposite of the intended effect. Her legs began to tighten and pull my head towards her.

“Nice try, Cat,” I commented as I pulled my head off and tipped it like a hat, allowing my shoulders to hit the edge of the stage pointlessly.

Catrix laughed again before releasing me, “You’re something else, Jay. Enjoy those crowns, you’ve definitely earned them.”

“Thanks. Say, what’s the deal with your voice? I’ve never heard you talk like this before,” I asked.

“They seem to thoroughly...enjoy it,” Catrix replied with a shrug, gesturing towards the multispecies crowd that was eyeing me jealously. I could only laugh at their expressions. 

“See you tomorrow Cat, and give my regards to your sisters as well,” I laughed before walking back to where Wind Chill had watched with wide eyes, “Pay up.”

“No way, there’s just no way. It’s impossible, how did you do that?” Wind Chill gasped.

“Like I told Cat, I don’t get aroused,” I replied.

“But-but.”

“Don’t think too hard about it, just go grab one of them before your brain melts. They know you just lost a thousand crowns and will probably be sympathetic,” I encouraged. I left her there and went to find Freydis. I found her near Dirges restaurant, clinging tightly to a confused Garalt.

“Hey dad,” Freydis greeted as I approached, carefully keeping her head turned so she couldn’t see the stage.

“Hey Frey, Garalt, how’re you two doing?” I asked.

“Fine, probably overthinking things,” Freydis replied honestly.

“You missed the show. Chilly bet me a thousand crowns that I couldn’t turn down the triplets, I won,” I bragged, startling Garalt.

“You can resist a succubus? It’s taking everything we have not to rush the stage,” he admitted.

“That’s because you’re teenagers. Between your raging hormones and their species, you’re doing amazingly well for yourselves. Let’s go inside and get something to eat,” I suggested, thinking it would take their minds off what was going on behind them.

“Dirge converted it into a bar and we’re not old enough to drink without a parent,” Garalt complained, his tone darkening.

“That does sound like him, I’ll just have to ask-” I was cut off by Freydis punching me in the arm, “What?”

“The gryphons that I was living with weren’t my real parents, they died a long time ago. And my adopted ones were both in the sixth legion,” Garalt explained sadly. The sixth legion had been wiped out defending a mining town in Minos during the Awakening, Garalt had been orphaned twice.

“Shit,” I swore, “That’s why you’ve been hanging around so much. Have you been sleeping in Freydis’s bed every night?”

“I’m sorry, please don’t kick me out. I don’t have anywhere else to go,” Garalt begged.

“Dad, if Garalt goes, I go,” Freydis challenged defiantly.

“Where is this coming from? Do I seem like the type of person who would abandon a young gryphon that needed my help? Tell you what, I just won a thousand crowns from Chilly, you can choose either another bed or a bigger one,” I offered, silently hoping she would opt for the second bed.

“Really, I can stay?” Garalt asked hopefully.

“I’ll do you one better. Tonight, I’m your dad too; Dirge won’t question it. Come on, let’s get some food and drinks going,” I suggested, though my tone made it more of an order. 

“Ah Jay, my brother in arms, what can I do for you?” Dirge hollered as I led my ‘children’ through the door.

“Two beers, a whiskey, and putting down that ax,” I answered jovially. Dirge had been on my team and hadn’t let go of his ridiculous battleax since. The thing was six feet long and double bladed, with spear points at both ends. The blades themselves had an odd double concave grind, resulting in sharp points meant to punch through armor. While this would be considered a ridiculously large and heavy polearm by most, it was barely a two handed ax in Dirges hands.

“Oh ho, you aren’t planning on giving booze to someone else’s kid, are you?” Dirge accused, pointing his thirty pound ax at me threateningly with one hand.

“Put that damn thing down before you hurt yourself. Besides, these are my kids,” I shot back.

“Kay den, If’n dey be yers, den dey’re yer probem,” Dirge slurred sarcastically, batting an already poured glass of whiskey and two beers onto an empty table with the haft of his ax. 

Catrix joined us a few minutes later, back in her usual dress and manner of speaking, and ordered a beer for herself. We made small talk and Freydis interrogated the demon about how she could make a straight hen gay, we joked, we laughed, and we drank until Wind Chill showed up with the rest of the triplets and we all made our way back to the house. Wind Chill blocked Freydis, Garalt and I from entering, smiled, and locked the door, leaving the rest of us to wander the city for two hours before I just broke in and kicked Wind Chill and her guests out so the kids could sleep.


Present Day


“I didn’t see as much of Wind Chill after that, my duties kept me away from the kingdom most of the time. But we were always close when I was there,” I concluded.

“Wait, what about Freydis and Garalt? Or your adventures with the legion?” Luna pressed.

“I said I’d tell you about Chilly, that’s what I’ll say about her. I’ll talk about the legion or Frey another time. It’s almost painful, you know, reliving these memories. Knowing I can’t just go see them whenever I want, or listen to Frey’s complaints while I tuck her into bed,” I explained sadly, though I snickered at the last part.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell us any more if you don’t want to,” Fluttershy replied supportively.

Thanks, Shy. So Twilight, I expect you’ve come to a decision on who you want to be your mentor,” I said, changing the subject.

“I think so. If AJ’s right and you’re telling the truth, then keeping Princess Celestia as a teacher would be irresponsible. I’d like to learn about friendship and magic from you, Queen Luna,” Twilight answered hesitantly.

“Thank you Twilight, I promise to lead your studies as well as I can. But please, just call me Luna. Titles and formalities only get in the way of making friends, Just look at Jay and King Sombra. While he didn’t talk about him much, Jay has told me before that they were good friends despite Jay never acknowledging his title,” Luna replied gratefully.

“Granted, I had an advantage in that. I never cared about titles or rank, even less so when Death and I figured out how durable I am,” I added, earning a scornful look from Luna for undermining her lesson.

“Then I shouldn’t shy away from making friends with high class ponies? They seem really stuffy to me, this is a weird lesson,” Twilight asked, fishing her notes out while looking troubled.

“Not quite, my student. Rather the lesson is that you should make friends based on their character and pay no mind to their status,” Luna corrected.

“Where’s this wisdom coming from, I don’t recall you meeting a god at any point?” I jibed.

“From you of course, when you decided to hang from the ceiling and scare me. An outcast commoner pranking a member of royalty like I were just anyone, surely there are many lessons to be gained from such a brash display,” Luna replied with an excessive amount of formality, even placing a hoof to her chest and bowing as she spoke.

“Isn’t ignorance bliss?” I asked with a dark smile, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What do you mean?” Luna countered, her offended tone turning suspicious, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I was already a king before we met.”
> Chapter 15: Friends in Low Places
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“WHAT?” Twilight roared, falling out of the chair she shared with Fluttershy and flopping around on the ground.

“Calm yourself Twilight, this is nothing to panic over,” Luna reassured, though she shot me a mild glare.

“But don’t you realize what this means? Equestria is over. If Jekyll was already a king, then Equestria was absorbed by that country when you got married. I don’t know where I live anymore! Will my mail be delivered to the right continent? There hasn’t been a joining of nations in centuries. Will Ponyville have to change its name? Will I have to change my name? Is reading illegal now?” Twilight was silenced by Fluttershy, surprisingly, who looked at her friend in concern before adding her take on the matter.

“Um, I’m sorry, but, um, if you could keep your voice down, um, a lot of my animal friends are trying to sleep, that is, if you don’t mind,” Fluttershy requested before removing her wing from around Twilight’s muzzle.

“Twilight, I believe Jay would have told me this earlier if it was important,” Luna added before Twilight could speak.

“Meh, depends on how you look at it. I haven’t even been there in years, I just appointed a secretary to deal with everything and left. I swing by a couple times a decade and make sure everything's running smoothly, but that’s all I do. Shit, Chelly doesn’t even know,” I commented.

“Out of curiosity, what nation do you rule?” Luna asked, flashing a grin on the side of her face that Twilight couldn’t see. The unicorn in question looked ready to burst from the rest of us not allowing her to continue her panic attack.

“Sorry, it’s classified. Originally by Sombra, and later by me. Coincidentally, that’s also the order I care about them in,” I replied honestly.

“I see, but I was under the impression that Sombra was killed by my sister. That just leaves you not wanting to tell us,” Luna pointed out with a sly grin, thinking she had me cornered.

“Hmm, it would seem that way. Unless, of course, you know that state secrets don’t die with the king,” I countered.

“Drat, I thought I had you. Well, nothing left to do but guess. My money is on the Badlands,” Luna wagered, her grin widening despite being deprived of the knowledge she desired.

“How are you two so calm?” Twilight managed to say. Luna and I just looked at her for a moment before speaking at the same time.

“I kept our marriage out of the public documents.”

“I doubt it’ll be a big deal.”

Twilight looked at the two of us and sighed, “Fine, I’ll guess that Sombra gave you the Crystal Empire.”

“Kingdom,” I corrected, “And I’ll tell you both the same thing: I can neither confirm nor deny any of your guesses.”

“Either way, it’s fun. Maybe the Gryphon Isles, that would make for an interesting twist,” Luna suggested. I remained silent and held my face in an amused smile as I leaned back on the couch to get comfortable.

“No way, it’s gotta be the Crystal Kingdom,” Twilight argued, putting plenty of emphasis on the word ‘kingdom.’

“Ah wouldn’t bet the farm, but I’d guess Tartarus,” Applejack said from the floor.

“Oh, come on AJ, Tartarus isn’t a country,” Twilight joked.

“It seems Tia has affected more of your education than I had first thought. Tartarus is an imprisoned nation, Twilight. It was also a contender for my second guess,” Luna explained.

“Wow, I never knew that. I don’t think anypony knows that, not anymore anyway,” Twilight replied, her ears drooping sadly at the prospect of lost knowledge.

“Are you lot done guessing? You won’t get any response,” I asked, though not impatiently. 

“As fun as it is to speculate, it is rather pointless,” Luna conceded.

“Ah got a question. You say these demon critters are such a big problem, but Ah ain’t heard nothin’ ‘bout ‘em ‘fore now,” Applejack posed as she finally rose to a seated position.

“Chelly censored everything about them and burned every book about summoning she could find. I doubt she even saved a copy for herself,” I replied. Twilight looked horrified at the mental image no doubt playing through her mind.

“So much lost knowledge,” she whimpered.

“For the better in this case, too many minor incursions started when an inexperienced unicorn tried to summon a skamp to do the dishes or some dumb shit like that,” I rebuked, causing Twilight to glare petulantly in my direction.

“Dangerous information is still valuable, if only so you know what not to do,” 

“You might have a difficult time applying that to this argument, summoning isn’t something you can do on accident,” I pointed out, “There’re specific runes, you have to learn how to channel demonic magic, and that’s ignoring the risks to yourself and those around you.”

“Around you means the town or country in this case,” Luna added.

“Country? One summoner can threaten a country?” Twilight gasped.

“Not the summoner, but he or she doesn’t have much control over what kind of demon is brought out. The best case for the world at large, it’s a ripper, then only the town will be mauled to death. Worst case, it’s a greater demon. Now, these bastards are all unique, so no description really fits them, but they can all hold the portal open and let more out. We call these situations an incursion,” I explained.

“Ah’m out, y’all’re gonna give me nightmares,” Applejack declared as she walked out.

“Bye AJ. What happens to the summoner when that happens?” Twilight asked without looking away from me.

“They die, usually, hopefully,” I replied simply, eliciting a sad nod from Luna.

“What happens when they don’t?” Twilight continued.

“The cousin of the succubus is an incubus, a male lust demon, they are nothing like the more submissive and docile succubi. If you were to summon one, you would spend the rest of your short life as its rape-slave. Granted, it would have full control of your mind and wouldn’t have to physically force you to do anything, so there’s that at least,” I explained.

“I no longer want to summon a demon,” Twilight said hurriedly.

“I don’t understand why you would in the first place,” I responded.

“Research.” Luna and I rose our eyebrows at the unicorn in unison. “Notlikethat, just questions! I was curious about what Tartarus is like and how demons live, stuff like that.”

“Why didn’t you say that twenty minutes ago instead of letting me waste everyone’s time? Jeff, have Abaddon send a Mike with the stuff I’ll need,” I ordered to everyone’s surprise.

“But you said-” Twilight attempted.

“Yep”

“And you’re confident-” Luna tried.

“Second verse, same as the first.”

“Should I summon my weapons?” Luna asked.

“Nope,” I replied, hearing a dull boom outside. Taking that as my cue, I walked out the front door and retrieved the leather wrapped package from the Mike buried headfirst in Fluttershy’s yard.

“Oh my, is he okay?” Fluttershy asked from the doorway.

“A little higher next time!” I called towards my leviathan, “Yeah, he’ll be fine. Do you mind if I borrow your basement for a minute?”

“Um, sure. But please don’t break anything, if you can,” Fluttershy allowed. 

I walked in and made a beeline for the basement door, ignoring the inquiring looks directed at the rectangular package in my right hand. Once I was inside and the door was locked behind me, I opened the leather flap and withdrew Cataclysm. I looked over the sheath for damage before drawing the flawless green blade, I smirked as I thought about how innocent it looked. As I fed demonic magic into the handle, the blade lost its shine and quickly coated itself with black rust. I light shake caused the rust to flake of and reveal the calcified bone the weapon was truly made of, the air around it shimmering and igniting into black flames.

With a halfhearted slash, I cut a hole in reality into the basement wall, “Pizza Hut, wadda ya want?”

“Harry, who do you think is calling?” I asked as the portal opened and allowed me to see the clawed demon on the other side. Harry was a ripper, all teeth, claws, and fire. He was also Dirge’s best friend and biggest competitor.

“Boss! Shit, I thought it was someone else,” Harry apologized.

“Who the fuck would be calling you? And why would you answer with a reference from my world? I’m genuinely curious now,” I pressed.

“Little white unicorn filly with a purple mane, tried to get her cutie mark in demon summoning. It didn’t work but we still talk from time to time,” Harry explained sheepishly.

“That doesn’t make any damn sense, how would they even know you exist? Much less how to set up a summoning? You know what, I’m done, I don’t care anymore,” I announced.

“Uh, was there a reason you called? Not that you can’t, of course,” Harry asked before backpedaling both verbally and physically.

“I need Cat for a bit, send her though,” I ordered the former chef that I used as a secretary.

“Gonna try to have her fuck some life into your cold heart? Didn’t work before,” Harry asked, relaxing at my more mild tone.

“No, my wife’s new student wants to learn more about Tartarus. Figured this would be the safest way,” I replied, a hard edge entering my voice.

“No offense master, of course, I’m just trying to be helpful,” the ripper, who was built to rend flesh, replied meekly.

“Whatever, I’m still waiting,” I stated harshly.

“Of course, just a moment. CATRIX! Got a call for you!” Harry shouted as he ran away from the portal to find the demon I had called for.

“Harry, I swear if you’re pranking me ag-Jay!” Catrix screamed as she threw herself through the portal and wrapped her arms around my neck. With a flick of my sword, the portal was closed again.

“Hey Cat, how’ve you been?” I asked, receiving a slap and a kiss in response.

“Pissed, but happy to see you again. So what’s the job? Bachelor party? Low on funds and need to pimp me out for some quick cash? Booty call?” Catrix guessed.

“Nah, unicorn upstairs is the type that would end up letting a horde of rippers loose in her search for answers, this is the safest way for her to learn as much as she wants,” I replied, remaining motionless despite Catrix’s efforts to pull me to the ground.

“Research then. Maybe you’d let me research you in return. It’d be like that time old Doc Death set us up, hmm?” Catrix proposed playfully, relentless as ever. Her attitude had approached the level of an obsession after I turned her down and it got even worse after Death roped us into an experiment to test my lack of interest, but eventually we had reached an agreement.

“Sorry Cat, I’m married now,” I apologized. I waited for Catrix to release her hold on me so we could walk back into the main room. Once she did I replaced Cataclysm in its sheath and returned it to the packaging. Deciding I didn’t want to carry it around I tossed it at the wall, correctly guessing that Jeffrey would catch it and ferry it back to Abaddon.

“Uh, Jay? I get that you have no interest at all and it’s fun to tease you, but I can’t say the same for others. I don’t regenerate with my clothes and there aren’t a lot in Tartarus, could you help a girl out?” Catrix requested, I tossed a couple flaps of skin around her in a passing resemblance of her old dress.

“You’re a terrible liar, by the way. Fun to tease me, my ass,” I laughed as I led the way back to the stairs.

“I’m allowed to have some modesty, sometimes,” Catrix griped as I unlocked the basement door and pushed it open. The door thunked against something solid and I heard Twilight cry out in pain.

“I warned you that the door opened outward,” Luna deadpanned.

“I thought I was far enough away,” Twilight whined.

“Might be a good idea to avoid listening in when demons are involved. Cat, meet everyone. Everyone, this is Catrix Infernus,” I introduced, earning a few gasps from the seated ponies.

“The same Catrix from the Crystal Kingdom?” Luna asked, garnering Catrix’s attention. Catrix didn’t react well to finding herself in the same room with an alicorn. She immediately hissed threateningly and crouched in front of me, her nails lengthening into claws and canines extending into fangs.

“At ease Cat, Luna isn’t our enemy,” I warned. Catrix turned her head just enough to look me in the eyes while still keeping an eye on a very startled Luna.

“Her sister took mine from me, why shouldn’t I do the same to her?” she hissed angrily, the eye I could see becoming catlike in rage.

“There’s the argument that you physically can’t and the argument that I’m telling you not to,” I countered.

“Is that an order?” Catrix snarled.

“If it has to be,” I shot back.

“As you wish, my king, I’ll let the winged hussy live.”

“Damnit Cat, that was classified,” I snapped.

“Tartarus, Equestria and Tartarus are the same country now,” Twilight muttered, dazed by the combination of this information and a mild case of door-to-the-face.

“What’s she going on about?” Catrix asked, her features returning to normal. Her scowl remained, however.

Not important right now,” I replied, trying to pull the conversation away in an attempt at damage control.

“I think it is. I think you married the little sister. I think I just called the queen of Tartarus a hussy. Oh fuck, I just called the queen a hussy,” Catrix panicked as her brain connected the dots.

“Well this looks mildly familiar,” I commented while Luna fought for breath as she was smothered by the breasts of an apologizing Catrix.

“I wasn’t that bad, was I?” Twilight asked, having recovered from her mild panic attack at the sight.

“You didn’t have a legitimate fear and you were crying, Tartarus is different. If word got back that she had insulted royalty, she’d spend the next hundred years being digested and shit out repeatedly by a hoard of bloats,” I replied.

“What’s a bloat?” Twilight asked casually, her attention was more focused on the sight in front of her. It only got worse when one of the spikes on Luna’s outfit got caught on Catrix’s dress and ripped it off. The cost of using biomass for clothing, it doesn’t hold up very well.

“It’s a fat demon that can and will eat anything and everything if given the opportunity,” I replied, internally wondering how far Catrix was planning to go in her quest for forgiveness.

“Is she going too…” Twilight trailed off.

“I honestly don’t know. It’s like a train wreck, you don’t want to watch but you can’t look away,” I replied. 

A tray clattered to the floor as Fluttershy walked in and say the scene on her couch, “Oh my, could you please not do that on my couch. I have a bed upstairs you can borrow, if you want to, that is. It’s really no trouble, but that couch is kinda difficult to clean.”

“Hmm?” Catrix asked, leaning back to look at the rest of us in the room and finally allowing Luna to free her head and draw in some precious oxygen.

“I-I need to raise the moon,” Luna declared, fumbling off the couch and walking into the wall. As she stumbled around, I noticed she had her eyes closed tightly.

“I hope she’s not still mad,” Catrix mumbled as she turned around to sit normally. Twilight’s and Fluttershy’s jaws dropped as they caught a clear view of the demon.

“Wow,” Twilight breathed, already under the succubus’s spell.

“You can stay here if you want!” Fluttershy blurted, turning a shade of crimson as she spoke.

“No way, Jekyll summoned her for me to study, she’s coming back to the library,” Twilight snapped with an unwarranted amount of hostility.

“Jay, could you make me a new dress? It’s the only way they’ll stop fighting,” Catrix requested with a sigh.

“Gets old sometimes, doesn’t it?” I asked, as I repaired the original one and tossed it to her. Twilight and Fluttershy instantly stopped fighting and hugged when Catrix slipped the dress over her head.

“Did I miss anything?” Luna asked as she walked back in.

“Nope, nothing,” Fluttershy and Twilight lied at the same time. 

“My queen I-” Catrix attempted, standing to approach Luna again.

“It’s fine Catrix, I understand your hostility towards my sister. And Please, just call me Luna. I didn’t even like being a princess, this queen nonsense is going to give me a headache. What do you say, friends?” Luna proposed, lifting her hoof both to stop Catrix’s advance and present it for shaking.

“You want to be friends with me? But I’m a demon and a succubus at that, we’re barely above imps. The only reason I wasn’t being used for practice when Jay called is because of my friendship with him, their fear was the only thing that kept me safe. Jay doesn’t care about social standing, but why would you want me as one of your friends?” Catrix asked depressingly.

“Jay has taught me a lot about friendship and how to pick your friends, I find that I share his contempt toward social norms. Catrix-Cat, I don’t care that you’re a demon, I’m concerned that the other demons would pick on you, and I’m glad Jay has been able to spare you that pain. Will you accept my offer of friendship?” Luna replied, pulling Catrix into a significantly more coordinated hug.

“Should I be taking notes?” Twilight asked awkwardly.

“Your student, your problem,” I laughed as I walked past Twilight to pick up a biscuit from Fluttershy’s forgotten tray.

“I’m sorry, they’re all dirty now. I’ll make another batch,” Fluttershy apologized, cringing as I bit into the dusty bread anyway.

“Seems fine to me,” I replied.

So, this is nice and all, but where am I supposed to be staying while I’m here?” Catrix asked as Luna released her.

“With me in the library, it’s the most efficient solution,” Twilight stated.

“You can sleep in my bed if you want, I can stay on the couch. If you want, that is,” Fluttershy offered.

“You’ll be provided a room onboard Abaddon,” I answered definitively.

“What’s an Abaddon?” Catrix asked, confused.

“Leviathan class walking fortress, he’s also our house. You could walk around naked and not be treated any differently than anyone else, provided none of Luna’s pony guards are around,” I explained.

“Aren’t they still confined to their rooms?” Luna asked.

“Unless Abby decided they’ll behave,” I replied.

“Really? I won’t be the center of attention? That’s awesome, can we go right now?” Catrix rambled, bouncing in excitement.

“I thought you liked being in the spotlight,” Luna commented, her voice low as Catrix skipped happily out the door.

“Cat likes my attention, the rest is just how she is,” I replied, taking just as much care not to be overheard.

“Why?” Luna pressed as we left the cabin, and disappointed ponies inside, for the night.

“Ask her yourself, she’s less shy than Lucky. Somehow,” I said, my voice returning to its normal volume.

“Ask me what?” Catrix asked, rushing back to us.

“I’d prefer to speak somewhere more private,” Luna requested. With a flash, we were back in our room on Abaddon, “This should do, I wanted to ask about your relationship with Jay.”

“Hehe, shit. Look, I know we have a reputation as homewreckers but I’d never do that to you and Jay barely notices me anyway. We’re just friends, I swear. Please don’t send me to the pits,” Catrix pleaded.

“Jay, could you step outside for a moment?” Luna requested.

“Please don’t leave me here,” Catrix begged.

“Abaddon, don’t let them get violent,” I ordered before walking out of the room and locking the door. A full hour later, the door opened and Catrix walked out cheerfully.

“Goodnight Luna, see you tomorrow,” she called as she walked down the hallway and into the room next to ours.

“Jay,” Luna said, her voice neutral.

“Sup?” I replied as I walked in and found Luna sitting on the bed.

“Sit,” she ordered, gesturing to the space next to her.

“I feel like I’m about to get slapped again,” I commented as I followed her instruction.

“That seems rational,” Luna agreed. I was thrown face first into the ground by a telekinetic wave and pinned in place by Luna’s twin swords going though my shoulders and her magic pushing down on me. Nightbane appeared at my throat, burning with a blue flame, “I’m not very rational right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered diplomatically.

“What’s to talk about? You brought an ex-girlfriend into our home, and I like her. It’s infuriating, I want to hate her so much but she’s just so damn nice. I can’t hate her, but I can be angry at you. She told me a little about your escapades over the years. Is that why she’s really here? So you can play with your little succubus friend while I’m left confused and frustrated. Answer me!” Luna raved, her voice becoming a scream by the end.

“Twilight wanted a demon, I got her one that wouldn’t ruin her life. I don’t have an ulterior motive,” I answered honestly.

“You could have gotten one that you haven't had sex with!” Luna shouted.

“You know how little that means to me. Besides, there are over a billion demons in Tartarus, I know the names of four of them. Asking Harry to find me a random succubus could take days, but Cat got the others convinced that she was my personal concubine so she could live in the palace. It took seconds for Harry to track her down,” I explained calmly.

“Stop making so much sense!” Luna raged, kicking my head into the blade of her scythe.

“Okay, I can be irrational too,” I warned, having to speak with my neck due to the burning weapon in my mouth. I forced myself to my feet, allowing Luna’s swords to tear out of my shoulders and remain in the floor.

“Stay back!” Luna demanded, backing into the wall as the force pushing down on me increased.

“I thought you knew me better than that,” I threatened as I took a heavy step forward. Then another.

“Leave me alone!” Luna shouted, changing the direction of her pressure wave to push me away. I rooted my feet to Abaddon and took another step, I was within arm’s length now.

“I said stay back!” Luna screamed, her eyes going black as it felt like I was hit with the full power of a hurricane.

“No,” I whispered. My arm snapped out and pulled Luna into my embrace, breaking her concentration and ending her spell. It was still powerful enough to send us sliding across the floor, however.

“Unhand me cretin,” Luna ordered, charging another spell.

“No,” I whispered again, kissing her horn and leaving a bit of biomass behind to prevent her from fighting me further. I bodily tossed Luna onto the bed and pinned her down in a much less painful way than she had used.

“Is this how you like to take your demon whore?”

“I never figured you for the jealous type. I would’ve assumed you’d have figured out that I could’ve slipped off to Tartarus and left you behind at any point, but I haven’t. You’re pissed over the combination of a good friend and centuries of boredom. You are far from boring and I wouldn’t do that to you,” I chided gently.

“How many others? How many other lovers have you had throughout the years?” Luna asked, tears flowing freely out of her new eyes.

“Two. I screwed Chilly to help her through her cycle, and you know who the other one is,” I answered as gently as possible.

“What, did you rut my student on the way to defeat the Nightmare? Or was it Tia? I always got her leftovers,” Luna accused, her anger returning.

“It’s you, fucktard,” I deadpanned.

“Oh. You can let me go now, I just need to think for a bit,” Luna said thoughtfully, visibly deflating. 

“You know how to find me,” I replied as I got off the bed and started for the door, planning to sit on the deck all night.

“Please stay, I don’t want to be alone right now,” Luna requested.

“Sure,” I agreed, changing course for the far wall and sitting down. Several minutes passed before Luna spoke again.

“Jay?” she asked.

“Right here,” I responded.

“Can you see under the bed?”

“Yes, there aren’t any monsters down there.”

“You’re right, it’s on top of the bed,” Luna sobbed, curling into herself.

“Why would you say that?” I asked, rising.

“‘Cause I almost pushed you away over some petty jealousy,” Luna replied.

“Luna, I’m like a cockroach. You can stomp on me, poison me, set me on fire, and throw me down a well, but I’ll always survive and I’ll always be the annoying bastard keeping you up at night. It takes more than a pressure wave and shouting to get me to abandon you, I don’t think it’s even possible,” I said reassuringly.

“I know, I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that. That’s what makes it so much worse that I attacked you, I broke my promise over nothing,” Luna whimpered.

“It wasn’t nothing, I should have talked to you before letting Cat stay here. I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“It’s alright. Why don’t you come to bed, maybe try to sleep again? I promise to keep away any nightmares,” Luna offered.

“Sure,” I replied, walking over to the bed and crawling over Luna to fill the empty space on her other side.

“Could you hold me?” Luna requested.

“If I shift in my sleep…” I began, fearful of waking up to find Luna in bloody pieces.

“I trust you,” Luna replied, rolling over so she could hold me in her hooves as well.

“Sir and Ma’am, Cat has asked me to inform you that ‘make up sex’ is great and that the walls are thinner than you think,” Abaddon announced from the wall nearby.

“Well that killed the mood. I was going to make another attempt too,” Luna complained.

“Cat wouldn’t care, you know,” I countered.

“Too late, it’s gone. Now I’m just feeling sorry for myself,” Luna continued.

“Hmm, do you think it would help if you and Cat spent more time together? Became better friends, maybe even trust each other?” I offered, wondering if Luna would catch on to what I was planning.

“That isn’t a bad idea. I don’t expect I’ll be able to sleep for some time with all the things on my mind right now, maybe spending time with friends will help me put those thoughts to rest,” Luna agreed, teleporting her leather outfit off and rolling off the bed.

“Great, let’s go,” I suggested, hopping off the bed and sending a tendril into the far corner for a brief moment. I was going to need a long forgotten item for my plan to work. With my surprise safely hidden within my right calf, I led Luna to Catrix's room. Catrix’s door was already open and waiting for us when we arrived at our neighbor's room, the demon herself was sitting on a recreation or the bed in our room and wore a silk dress that reached her ankles.

“I’m glad you two are okay, I’d hate myself if I messed up such an adorable couple,” Catrix said in greeting.

“You know, I’m honestly more concerned where that dress came from than whether or not you mean that,” Luna responded, a troubled look on her face.

“Well, I got to talking with Abby and asked him if he could make me something sturdier. He couldn’t but the attempt was fun anyway, so he sent someone named Jeff my measurements and had this commissioned from a local shop. I guess the seamstress was still awake and she threw this together in just a few minutes. It’s really good quality too, I can’t even find any of the seams. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she got a bunch of silkworms to make the entire dress a single piece,” Catrix praised, inspecting the fabric critically as she spoke and finding it flawless.

“And the adorable couple thing?” Luna pressed tersely.

“Only half joking, no one calls Jekyll the Horror adorable and lives. I meant the rest though,” Catrix laughed, knowing how much I hated that nickname.

“The Horror?” Luna asked, smirking.

“When I got moved up to first legion, the retiring legate thought it would be funny to spread that name through the entire city. They nicknamed themselves ‘The Freakshow’ to welcome me to the unit, I never lived it down,” I grumbled.

“Jay?” Catrix asked, sounding confused, “Do you really believe that?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“It wasn’t a prank, you earned that name. Everyone knew how you fought and how relentless you were, they gave you that nickname because you horrified every enemy you ever made eye contact with on the battlefield. You conquered Tartarus on fucking accident, for oblivion’s sake,” Catrix corrected, incredulous.

“Then why didn’t anyone tell me?” I pressed.

“Those that knew you thought it was funny, the rest were too scared of being your next victim,” Catrix replied.

“Oh,” I said. I didn’t know what else I could say, everything she said made sense. I tore trenches through every force I faced until they started surrendering at the sight of me. I never thought about the impact it would have on my soldiers.

“Jay, are you okay?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, just seeing some things in a new light. But enough about the past, I’ve already spent too much time there today. We came here to-”

“I know why you’re here,” Catrix interrupted, “You coaxed dear Luna into my room so I’d help her discover her more sensual side.”

“What?” Luna asked, visibly shaken.

“If the conversation goes there, I did come prepared,” I replied, kicking my right leg and launching Luna’s toy into Catrix’s hand.

“You always do,” she commented as she inspected Lucky’s gift, even going as far as smelling it before reaching a conclusion, “This was Lucky’s. You went to see Lucky and Silver without me?”

“Of course you know that crazy mare,” Luna groaned.

“Hell yeah I do, I used to foalsit little Willow for them. How is she by the way?” Catrix asked excitedly.

“She’s a registered nurse, still working at the resort though. Pepper owns that kitchen, paperwork be damned. Lily used to work the desk and other odd jobs, but I’m pretty sure she’s in Ponyville right now. Mary got weird after she decided to wander Equestria for a summer. And the rest of the kids are about how you left them, they all still work in that hotel of theirs,” I replied.

“And the happy parents? I swear, I could lay naked in a Manehattan street with a neon sign and Lucky would still get more action than me,” Catrix laughed.

“Silver passed a couple years back. Some illness, I didn’t get the details, but I know I could’ve cured him if I’d heard in time. Lucky wasn’t doing very well when we met her a couple months ago, but I think she’s going to be alright,” I responded soberly.

“Oh no, his mane wasn’t even gray when I last saw him. How long has it been since you last summoned me?” Catrix asked, attempting to distract herself with the hem of her dress.

“Five years,” I replied, “His mane never grayed.”

“Aren’t demons just sinful souls? Couldn’t you find him and bring him back?” Luna asked.

“Nah, that’s just a story to scare children. Every demon alive today has been around since the beginning, we can’t have children of our own and we’re hard to keep dead. If Jay cut my throat right now, I’d reform in my room of the palace. Jay’s the only one that has ever put any of us down permanently, and that was a real horror show,” Catrix explained.

“Then the limitless horde that’s always described is just the same demons over and over?” Luna continued.

“Bingo,” Catrix said.

“Fascinating, anything else you could tell me about demons?” Luna pressed.

“I could tell you pretty much anything you wanted to know. I used to get around and you can learn a lot about a place from those on the bottom,” Catrix replied with a smirk as she got more comfortable around Luna.

“Did that mean what I think it meant?” Luna asked, taken aback by the implications.

“Yes, but it’s also true. The first thing I used to do when in a strange place was find a whore to give me the lay of the land. Both interpretations, by the way,” Catrix purred, standing and sauntering over to Luna as she spoke.

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with where this is going,” Luna commented as Catrix laid an arm around her neck.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m a professional, I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Catrix continued as her dress slid off without any obvious cause, “Oops.”

“Jay, help me,” Luna begged, her eyes having closed tightly when Catrix’s dress started moving.

“Lu, I’ve been around Cat for centuries and knew a lot of her clients, I know how it works. It’s kinda like being in heat, you become more aware of your desires but you don’t lose your self control. Silver could say no and return to his wife. If you don’t want her to bring out this side of you, which would be the healthy thing to do by the way, then look her in the eyes and say so. It’s a naked female, you’re around them all the time, that’s all she is,” I encouraged. Luna whimpered indecisively for a minute before opening her eyes and locking them on Catrix’s.

“I-I’m okay. This isn’t so bad, I thought I’d go crazy or something,” Luna said, her relief clear on her face.

“That’s great, I really don’t like being feared,” Catrix replied, walking over and folding her dress before placing it gently on her bed.

“So, is that it? I faced my fears, am I in touch with my intimate side now?” Luna asked, chuckling at her own actions.

“Nope, that wasn’t even the first lesson. It was more like a qualifier,” Catrix replied, turning back towards Luna. I had started edging towards the wall near the door to stay out of the way.

“You did that on purpose. Before, I could only see your face, now you’re forcing me to look at all of you,” Luna accused.

“And you haven't jumped me, doesn’t that say something about your self control?” Catrix countered as she sat down and crossed her legs, resting her hands on her knee.

“I suppose it does,” Luna mused, “Jay, I think this will go over better than dropping me at Lucky’s hooves. I’ll be fine if you have something you need to do.”

“Either have her back in an hour or have Abaddon tell me what’s going on,” I ordered before walking out. 

I wandered the halls for an hour before checking on Luna. She wasn’t in our room so I cracked open Catrix’s door and peeked inside, finding Catrix and Luna asleep on the bed. Having nowhere else to be, I widened the bed and climbed in as well. Luna was pinned between the two of us and fidgeted in her sleep until she had a hoof around each of us before sleeping peacefully for the rest of the night. Sleep eluded me once again and sooner than I would like, it was time for Luna to start the day.

“Mistress Luna, it is time for dawn,” Abaddon announced, waking up the sleeping women with the gentleness of a tidal wave. His secondary head took a fireball to the face for his trouble.

“I need a new alarm clock,” Luna groused.

“Ug, five more minutes,” Catrix requested.

“Seconded, nopony will miss five minutes,” Luna agreed with a yawn.

“Ma’am, the locals are becoming concerned,” Abaddon lied, catching another fireball.

“Can I go back to sleep afterwards?” Luna asked.

“I don’t see why not,” I replied, catching both her and Catrix’s attention.

“Huh, last night must have been better than I remember,” Catrix muttered before rolling over and trying to fall back asleep, only to screech in pain as Luna’s horn lit to raise the sun, “Damn that’s bright.”

“Dawn is proceeding normally, no abnormalities observed,” Abaddon noted before retreating.

“Didn’t you have some goop on yer horn before?” Catrix asked tiredly, still grumbling about the light level in the room.

“I took it off a few minutes ago,” I replied as the light faded and Luna let out a small yawn before trying to pull Catrix and I towards herself, succeeding in pulling both of them to me. I was the only one awake a few seconds later, but I didn’t mind, it was just how my life went. Luna and Catrix awoke for the day a couple hours later.

“How did the lesson go?” I asked knowingly as Luna crawled over me to get out of the bed.

“You remember when we woke up after the party and discovered we were married? Nothing like that, after a while we set up a week long curriculum to quote ‘find the stick that’s up my ass’ unquote,” Luna complained. Abaddon’s booming laughter could probably be heard on the moon.

“I have never seen anyone less comfortable with themselves in my life,” Catrix groaned, “I expected this to be fun, too.”

“It can’t be that bad. I mean, I figured you had some codependency issues, but nothing Cat couldn’t figure out,” I rebuked.

“I’m not a therapist,” Catrix countered.

“The fuck you aren’t, I know why Sombra stopped by your house every week,” I shot back.

“Fine, I’m good with people. Are you happy now?” Catrix relented.

“Remind me to smack you at some point for lying to me,” Luna commented as she stretched.

“In my defense, I didn’t think of bringing Cat into it until she offered. That’s being an opportunist, not having an ulterior motive,” I countered.

“As if, I didn’t hear any offer,” Luna pointed out.

“I offered to help with your relationship issues when I got Abby to suggest make-up sex, Jay just knows how I talk,” Catrix replied, backing me up.

“Oh. Well then, I guess I still have a lot to learn about how friends talk to each other. I’d never considered secret codes. I’m getting in the shower, hizen gizen dizen dorf,” Luna called in farewell, obviously trying to make up her own code.

“My mother would never do that!” I shouted in mock offense, “And even if she tried, she’d drown.”

“What? What did I say?” Luna asked fearfully.

“You claimed his father was a blue whale,” Catrix lied, improvising based on my claim, “Jay, I think she just called you fat.”

“Hey, Abby said you were in here and I-” Discord began as he walked into the room, freezing as he saw the state of its occupants. Catrix and I were still on the bed and Luna was stopped mid stride and could be mistaken for posing with her rear towards us, “I would trade my powers for your life.”

“What do you need Discord?” I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose at the situation.

“I was going to ask if we could talk, but I can see that you’re busy right now,” Discord replied, backing towards the door.

“Is it a private thing, or do you mind the others hearing?” I asked, stopping him.

“I don’t mind them at all, I was simply curious about your hostility when we met. I assumed we’d get along like old chums, what with our mutual love of putting on a show and all. Instead, I was attacked, beaten, and had to rewrite the universe just to survive. I expected Tia to react that way, but not you. Basically: why?” Discord asked.

“Dude, literally everyone I’ve ever talked to has called you a maniac and the closest thing to pure evil this world has. Then you show up talking about world domination and grand plans, how was I supposed to respond?” I countered.

“When you put it that way, I guess I did come on a little strong,” Discord conceded. 

“Speaking of that day, what ever happened to Silk? I was a little busy bleeding to death to see,” I asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Luna responded, her ears lowering sadly.

“Luna, hiding from the past will only hurt you,” Catrix warned, sitting up to make eye contact with her. Discord’s eyes bugged out of his head for a second when she caught his attention. While she was partially under the sheets, it was only pulled up enough to hide exactly nothing.

“She jumped,” Luna said simply.

“What, out the window?” I guessed, tossing the sheet over Catrix’s head before Discord could have a stroke.

“Yes, I failed to capture her several times and she jumped rather than face justice for her crimes,” Luna explained.

“Sounds like she faced a trial by gravity. The result was the same in the end, I wouldn’t let it get you down,” I replied.

“She should have been tried by a jury of her peers,” Luna argued.

“She wouldn’t have lived that long anyway. I would have had her deep fried and served on a bun before you could even find one of her peers,” I shot back, causing Luna to recoil, “I’m sorry, did you forget that I eat people?”

“Kinda,” Luna admitted, looking uncomfortable with the thought.

“Come on Luna, we should talk,” Catrix suggested, sliding out of the bed with an unnecessary amount of contact before leading Luna out. ‘Always a team player.’

“So?” Discord attempted.

“I didn’t try to eat you because I thought I’d go insane,” I replied, assuming that was his next question.

“That disturbing thought aside, I’m not crazy. Chaos is a more sinister word for change, and change isn’t always a bad thing,” Discord said.

“Yet you took over the world,” I countered.

“For a time, yes, but I gave it back. I gave it all up, found a little place to lord over, and retired,” Discord admitted.

“Then why were you sealed?” I asked. I didn’t believe anything he was saying, though I was conflicted because he hadn’t lied to me before.

“Those two alicorns, I forget their names, were all about order, they decided I was their enemy and attacked over and over. Eventually I got tired of them and imprisoned their souls, but then the next generation shows up at my door and wants to fight. I was so tired of fighting all the time, I let them win,” Discord continued sadly.

“Right. And the insanity you caused around the world?” I pressed, looking for some contradiction in his story.

“What insanity? Mental conditions are part of life, that’s like blaming animal attacks on you. Sure I made gravity do some odd things and houses were made out of mushrooms and marshmallows, but nothing malicious. Ask Tirek, he hated me for not living up to the standards of evil he thought a dictator should be,” Discord suggested. A search of my stolen memories confirmed that part at least, Tirek thought Discord was a pushover.

“So he did. I’m going with a trust but verify approach to your claims, don’t be a prick and you might get that friendship you assumed before,” I offered, wondering if I would regret this decision.

“Thanks Jekyll. If you ever need anything, give a holler. I’ll come running, provided I can hear you,” Discord replied gratefully.


Perspective change: Luna
Five minutes earlier


‘Would the Jay I know really do that? He’s protective and he did crush that zebra, but would he ignore the rule of law like that? Could he just pass judgment on somepony and murder them with no reservations? No, he’d have sympathy for the criminal, he’d just kill them anyway. What kind of person could do that?’

“Stop,” Catrix commanded, which was odd because we weren’t moving.

“Stop what?” I asked.

“Overthinking it. Jay would’ve killed that pony, but he could’ve done much worse. He could’ve opened a portal and tossed her to us, it wouldn’t be the first time,” Catrix replied, her words sending a chill up my spine.

“Every day it seems I know him less,” I said, feeling the familiar presence of my depression forming in the back of my mind.

“You should think about it that every day you know him more,” Catrix suggested, her arm resting across my shoulders supportively.

“I didn’t even know he had demon friends before yesterday,” I continued, my mood darkening further. I dropped to a seated position and allowed myself to cry.

“No one does until they become his friends. Luna, all of Jay’s friends are friends with each other too, you’re just going through the ‘meet the crew’ stage right now,” Catrix explained gently, her arm tightening into a soft hug.

“I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know how to feel anymore. Jay is the best thing that ever happened to me, but at the same time he’s a cold blooded killer. How am I supposed to deal with this?” I asked, breaking into sobs as I leaned into my newest friend.

“There are two sides to that germ in the next room: there’s Jay, the easygoing guy that arrived at the Crystal Kingdom with a gryphon husk, and there’s Legate Jekyll the Horror, the warrior and battlefield commander that Sombra made to save the world. It’s like two sides of the same bit, he just defaults to his more violent mentality when times get rough. If it helps to think of them as different people, he won’t hold it against you,” Catrix explained, sending a lance of fear though my heart.

“Like the Nightmare?” I asked fearfully. The thought of Jekyll falling the same way I did was terrifying to me.

“No, not like that, it’s not a split personality. He’s always the same Jay, he’s just… This is really hard to explain. Have you ever met any old soldiers? Where they freak out over loud sounds and go for a weapon if someone starts shouting?” Catrix asked, reminding me of the captain of the guard when I was young. He would jump at every sound and lash out if somepony walked behind him, I remembered one time where he started screaming during a thunderstorm and tackled Celestia protectively. ‘Mother had him hanged for scratching Tia’s regalia.’

“Yes, one,” I answered, still shaken over the thought of a Nightmare Jekyll.

“He’s like that, but he functions a fair bit better. Now come on, you were heading to the shower, where is it?” Catrix asked.

“Abby, could you make me a shower, please?” I requested politely. Flaps of skin fell from the ceiling around us.

“I started heating the water some time ago, it should be exactly how you like it. Miss Catrix, the curtains should be light enough for you to move without issue, though I will be happy to assist if that is not the case,” Abaddon replied politely, raising my preferred brands of soap and shampoo in a pair of tendrils.

“I could get used to this, whole place is mobile and comes with a badass butler to boot,” Catrix praised, after a couple seconds I realized she wasn’t moving.

“Uh, Cat? Abby’s waiting for you to leave so he can start the shower,” I informed her.

“Don’t wait on me, I’m not going anywhere,” Catrix replied, causing me to stand in alarm. Did she intend to bathe with me?

“Eeep,” I managed.

“Lesson one was figuring out what you want, lesson two is the first step on that journey. My goal is for you to be comfortable in your own fur, no matter what’s going on around you. You were naked ten minutes ago, you’re naked now, what’s wrong with being naked and wet?” Catrix pressed.

“Bathing is a private affair, sharing a bath is intimate. I’ve never even bathed with my sister,” I rambled, wondering what other surprises were in store for me today.

“Of course it’s intimate, that’s why it’s me in here instead of Jay. You’re scared of intimacy, that’s why you act all sexy to prank people. It’s the scariest thing you can think of, right?” Catrix countered. I was shocked; she didn’t make any sense, but at the same time she did.

I opened my mouth to argue, but couldn’t find any words. Was she right? No, I wasn’t afraid of intimacy, and I could prove it.

“I can masturbate,” I declared confidently.

“Congratulations, so can every other colt and filly that’s too scared to talk to the opposite sex,” Catrix deadpanned, effortlessly shooting down my argument.

“Abaddon, tell her. Tell her I’m not afraid of intimacy,” I ordered, hoping Abaddon would have some argument that I couldn’t think of.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Miss Catrix. Aside from a single drunken night, the closest you have gotten was some light teasing that left you more flustered than your intended victim. You have also shown clear signs of mental trauma from your brief time with Miss Lucky, a trait I did not observe in her children nor her patrons,” Abaddon responded.

“Why?” I asked, not sure what I was asking.

“I don’t know, I’d need more information about your childhood to give you a real answer. The good news is that I don’t need to know why yet, though I will later on. Right now we’re just edging you in the right direction. It’s just a shower with me today, maybe have Jay wait outside tomorrow, and then I’ll trade places with him the day after that,” Catrix replied, moving behind me and massaging my shoulders with her delicate fingers.

“How do you know me better than I do?” I wondered aloud as warm water started to rain down on us.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was in the same position, once upon an age?” Catrix replied, taking the shampoo and working it into my mane. I had come to a conclusion, being washed was weird.

“No, you’re too confident,” I answered.

“Well I was. It was right after Shay and Tyr pulled me out of Tartarus and helped me get to the Crystal Kingdom, we were always close because we looked the same but they saved me that day. You see, Tartarus was much more feral in those days and succubi like me were never summoned. It wasn’t because no one wanted us, but our incubus masters wouldn’t let us go. We were their property, their toys, and their practice, but Shay and Tyr snuck me out one night and we made a run for an open gate. We decided to be sisters after that, but I still had the mentality of a slave for a long time. It took me over two hundred years to figure out who I wanted to be, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to help people like my sisters helped me,” Catrix confessed, never stopping her combined washing and scalp massage.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” I apologized, amazed that she could stand being in the same room with a male after what she had endured.

“Thank you. I know what you went through during the Nightmare Moon stuff was terrible, but you can still be whoever you want to be. I’m not going to tell you that my life was harder because there’s no scale for trauma, I only want the same thing you do. Be happy Lu, be happy all the time,” Catrix continued, swapping out the shampoo for the soap and continuing onto my neck.

“Jay’s the only one that calls me that,” I said, slightly off put by her use of the nickname.

“Is that your thing? Sorry,” Catrix apologized. I closed my eyes as the shampoo began running down my face and soon felt a weight on my back, “Don’t mind me, I couldn’t reach from where I was.”

“It’s fine,” I replied. I wondered how to pay Catrix back for all she was doing for me, it would have to be something big. Something special that she would never forget. Catrix continued to shuffle down my back as she worked, only pausing when she reached my wings.

“Go ahead and extend the left one,” she ordered.

“You intend to preen me as well?” I asked, shocked. I’d never been preened by anyone.

“Yep, too bad Abby didn’t provide any oil. I’ll figure something out,” Catrix replied confidently. At her words, a third tendril rose from the floor with a bottle of preening oil held in its grip, “That’s convenient, I was worried I’d have to rip my liver out or something.”

“You’d do that?” I asked in a mix of horror and gratitude.

“Nah, more likely that I’d just think of the last time I conquered Jay and use my own fluids,” Catrix laughed, already working her fingers through my feathers.

“As disgusting as that is, it brings up a question I’ve had for a while now. What is your relationship with Jay?” I asked. I was afraid of the answer but I had to know.

“We’re friends. We used to meet up everyday for tea back in the kingdom. After I took an arrow through the eye during the fall, I made my way to the palace and never left. Jay’s influence kept me from becoming a slave again,” Catrix replied easily.

“I meant sexually,” I corrected.

“Oh, that. You married the only male that never wanted me. I assume he told you about his promotion party? After that it became a challenge, a competition of wills. After a while I learned that Jay didn’t know he was playing and bribed Doctor Death into setting us up under the guise of an experiment. After the fall it was different, Jay stopped by every few years to make sure we weren’t trying to break out or kill each other more than usual and I fell into the position of his personal concubine. Being Jay, he didn’t really care. But it did offer me the opportunity to try again every time he showed up, I tried every pick up line imaginable, I literally threw myself at him a couple times, and I tried asking him to help me stave off boredom. That was the one that worked. Turns out that he’ll do anything asked by a friend, provided he has time. If you want him, all you have to do is ask,” Catrix explained like she was reading a recipe, “Other wing.”

“He made love to you because you asked him to?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“No. Making love is the physical connection between lovers, fucking is two consenting adults working their frustrations out on each other. I got him to fuck me a few hundred times,” Catrix corrected.

“Hundred?!”

“It’s been a thousand years, a lust demon has needs you know.”

“Still, a few hundred times?” I pressed, inwardly wondering why I found this distressing. They were never really a couple and I knew Jay didn’t care about those kinds of things, Catrix was simply taking advantage of his way of thinking. It didn’t hurt anyone, why was it hurting me now?

“Luna, I can see your scowl from here. But you should know that I tried to jump him when he summoned me, can you guess what he said? That he was married now, he chose you over me. Don’t let my entertainment over the last millennia keep you from being happy, he’s yours now and I’m thrilled to see him go,” Catrix continued as she finished with my right wing and turned around to work on my tail.

“You aren’t jealous or resentful? I probably would be,” I admitted.

“Fuck no. I knew what we were from the start, it sure as shit wasn’t a couple. Our relationship was closer to the one you have with that toy Lucky gave you,” Catrix replied with a scoff.

“Are you two alive in there? It’s been an hour!” Jekyll called through the door. I heard it open a second later while I was still searching for what to say, “That might be the most confusing shadow I’ve ever seen, it’s like a reverse centaur. Which way is the front? Which way is the front?”

“Girl talk,” Catrix finally said, coming to my rescue.

“Oh, one sec. Okay, I’m a girl now too. What’re ya talking about?” Jekyll continued obliviously, going as far as peeking his head through the curtain.

“You,” Catrix replied easily.

“Right, should’ve guessed. Should I step out?” Jekyll asked, moving away slightly.

“Either step out or step in, just pick a direction,” I snapped with more emotion than intended.


Perspective change: Jekyll


I stepped in.

“Are those my tits? Did you steal my tits?” Catrix accused the instant she saw me.

“No,” I lied, badly.

“You know what? I’m not even mad. If you want to wander around with boobs, you might as well wear some nice ones. Now grab the soap and start working on your wife’s legs. Just do the front, I’ve got the back,” Catrix ordered.

“You okay with this, Lu?” I asked as I set to my assigned task.

“I’m getting there. The good news is that I’m coming to terms with your relationship with Cat, though I’m somewhat angry that she used you for so long,” Luna replied.

“Used me?” I continued, more to make conversation.

“Yes, she even compared you to Lucky’s gift,” Luna answered to Catrix's amusement.

“A fair comparison, but I knew that as well. There’s no one at fault here, there isn’t even anything wrong with it. Cat’s allowed to find comfort however she can, just like you and I are. I find it in my army and using them to better help my friends, you seem to find comfort in me. Shit Luna, Cat wasn’t even my first, Chilly was before her. And that’s only counting this body,” I explained.

“I get that, but it still caught me off guard. Wait, you don’t count your life before you came here?” Luna asked, looking at me curiously.

“Jack Robak died a long time ago, at the ripe old age of thirty-one,” I replied.

“Is that a normal age for humans to die?” Luna pressed.

“Not even middle aged, ponies and humans have similar lifespans. But I’m not Jack anymore and I haven’t been for a long time,” I continued.

“You never told me your original name. Hold onto this one Luna, he really cares about you,” Catrix advised.

“I intend to, but I’m also pruning. Doesn’t this thing ever run out of water?” Luna complained.

“Nope, it cycles back through after being filtered. I always hated running out of hot water,” I replied.

“Either way, let me rinse off and I’ll clean Cat before getting out. It’s only fair,” Luna requested.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve got demon perks,” Catrix replied with a wave of her hand as she hopped off Luna’s back. Once Luna had rinsed the soap out of her fur, Abaddon retracted the shower into the ceiling.

“Demon perks?” Luna asked as Catrix stepped away from the rest of us, sharing a knowing grin with me before she burst into flames.

“Demon perks,” she said simply once the fire went out. The water continued to steam off her form, along with the remains of any grime that escaped the shower.

“Well, that’s new,” Luna commented, having also been dried by her proximity.

“I wish I could figure that one out, I bet it comes with fireproofing,” I groused.

“Don’t you have a team for that?” Luna pointed out.

“It’s on their list of things to do, but there are more pressing things for them to work on at the moment,” I replied.

“Sciency types, I assume?” Catrix guessed, her flames going out as she returned to the conversation.

“Yep, and speaking of sciency types, there’s a certain unicorn waiting for you. Just remember to tell her that there’s no rush,” I reminded the demon with a wink.

“You mean…” Catrix trailed off.

“I have no intention of forcing you to return to Tartarus and, provided Luna doesn’t mind, I’d like to offer you a place here,” I clarified, getting a nod from Luna at my implied question.

“You want me around so Luna here has another friend nearby, don’t you?” Catrix accused.

“Yep,” I replied.

“I’d love to. Besides, isn’t it the royal concubine’s duty to tend to the needs of the king and queen?” Catrix asked with a smirk befitting her species.

“Cat?” Luna asked nervously.

“She was talking about you,” I clarified.

“That’s what I was worried about,” Luna admitted, freezing as she felt Catrix’s tongue run along the edge of her ear.

“I missed a spot earlier, couldn’t have you go out at anything less than your best,” Catrix lied, already moving towards Luna’s other ear.

“Whenever you decide you’re done being molested, Twilight’s probably pacing around the library in a panic. Luna’s horn flashed in alarm when the end of her ear entered Catrix’s mouth.

“Bitch!” Luna swore, wincing in pain. We had appeared in the street outside the library, and we had already gotten several looks.

“Your high-Luna? Is that you?” Twilight asked, throwing the door open with more force than necessary.

“She fucking bit me, ow,” Luna complained as she attempted to inspect her ear. While she couldn’t see the damage, I could. Walking over and laughing lightly, I administered a mild anesthetic to dull the pain caused by Catrix’s sharklike teeth.

“Sorry,” Catrix said sheepishly.

“At least you didn’t take it off, it’ll heal in a few hours,” I told both of them.

“Let’s just get inside before Cat starts a riot,” Luna grumbled.

“And I won’t?” I asked in mock offense, placing a hand on my chest dramatically, “So a light red nudist can start a riot but a black one can’t? Y’all are being racist again.”

“Jay, shut the fuck up and get in the public building,” Luna ordered, “You too, you bitey whore.”

“Be glad it wasn’t Jay nibbling on your ear, he plays for keeps,” Catrix warned as she walked into the library.

“I also have better control of my reflexes,” I added as I followed her in.

“You both will be the death of me,” Luna whined before finally walking in herself.

“Dibs on the sofa,” Catrix called, flopping onto the couch with a negative amount of manners.

“Feel free to sit on her, her bones will bend instead of breaking,” I informed the others.

“I believe I shall test that, I owe her for my ear,” Luna agreed, casually walking over to the couch and sitting on Catrix’s legs.

“Uh, is this normal?” Twilight asked.

“When I’m involved, there is no normal,” I replied, opting to sit on the floor with my back against the couch.

“I guess I’ll just get started then, what’s Tartarus like? Please, go into as much detail as you like,” Twilight began, sitting at a nearby table that held several stacks of paper and multiple quills and ink wells.

“From your perspective, the best word would be unforgiving. Gangs of demons roam the land and they constantly prowl for weaker types to practice on. Bloats and rippers are usually at the top of the chain, unless a greater decides to get involved. After that are incubi and pretties, then us succubi, and finally skamps and imps. Skamps are what you’d probably imagine a typical demon looks like, they have red skin, goatlike horns, cloven feet, and dull claws. Imps sorta look like Jay’s normal form, but they have four jaws and twelve eyes. Both are dumber than a box of hammers and basically serve as food for the rest of us,” Catrix explained.

“And rippers, the ones that are so dangerous, what are they like?” Twilight continued when she caught up on her notes.

“Jay?” Catrix requested.

“Jeff,” I ordered. The package from the previous day rose from the floor next to me. I retrieved my sword and opened another portal in the wall.

“Hey boss, sending Cat back already?” Harry asked when he saw me.

“No, you’re a prop,” I replied simply. I stepped aside so the others could see the demon on the other side.

“About what I was expecting,” Luna commented over Twilight’s terrified screaming.

“Hi Harry,” Catrix called in greeting.

“Hi Cat,” the ripper called back with a friendly wave. 

“Would you calm down already? He’s just sitting there,” Catrix requested. Twilight kept screaming like she was being murdered and attempted to crawl away without taking her eyes off the immobile demon.

“It’s fine Cat, I haven’t heard screams like this since before Discord ruled the world,” Harry said contentedly, savoring the scream like a fine wine. I swiped the end of my sword across the portal, closing it and taking away Twilight’s nightmare fuel.

“I’m sorry, but can we take a short recess?” Twilight requested once she calmed herself down enough to talk.

“A bit more than you were expecting?” I jibed.

“Twilight, there is no cause for fear, that demon couldn’t harm you if it wanted to,” Luna added.

“It couldn’t? Was that portal for communications only?” Twilight asked, shakily returning to her hooves.

“No, but Harry knows that I’m much more dangerous than he is,” I replied, “I also have a better sense of smell, I won’t stop you from cleaning yourself up.”

“Thanks,” Twilight said before rushing to the bathroom.

“He wasn’t that scary,” Luna commented.

“You’re comparing him to me,” I noted.

“Yes, you’re considerably scarier when you’re angry,” Luna agreed.

“Twilight hasn’t seen me get angry, most don’t live long enough to talk about it when I do. Pissing oneself over seeing a ripper for the first time is a normal reaction,” I countered.

“Did you?” Luna asked.

“I don’t piss, I’m also aware of how little they can do to me,” I pointed out.

“Seeing a normal reaction is weird at this point, I don’t know how to feel about that,” Luna commented.

“You have a few,” Catrix argued, “Like if I told you bone bending is erotic to succubi.”

“I have eyes like Jay’s, I know you’re lying,” Luna deadpanned.

“Fine, just kill all the fun. Why not put it in camps while you’re at it?” Catrix complained.

“Yeah ya fun nazi,” I added. Getting a bunch of demons to reenact Hellsing Abridged was the best decision I had ever made.

“Hit me,” Catrix ordered, holding her hand out for a high-five as I returned to my chosen seat.

“You wrecked that line, might have to track down your Seras costume and redo the whole show,” I threatened as I completed my side of the high-five and sat down.

“Ug, only if you find a new actor for Bernadotte, I’m never kissing a pretty again,” Catrix groaned.

“How many demons do you know that have a prench accent?” I argued.

“Figure something else out,” Catrix insisted.

“Luna can be Pip,” I offered.

“She’s more of an Integra, that yellow one’s got the hair though,” Catrix mused.

“Shy’d have a heart attack and die during the Brazil scene,” I countered.

“Shit, that’s a good point. I guess it’ll have to wait until we can find a good Pip,” Catrix conceded.

“What are you talking about?” Twilight asked as she returned.

“I set up a play a while back so my friends would get some of my jokes, but Cat just messed one of the lines up so I want to show it again. The problem is that we’re down an actor,” I replied.

“Apparently I’m something called an Integra,” Luna added.

“What kind of character are you looking for?” Twilight continued.

“Badass mercenary captain that hits on the girl the whole show and then goes out in a blaze of glory,” I responded with a shake of my head.

“Sounds like something Rainbow would be great for,” Twilight suggested.

“She can’t do the accent and her hair’s too short. Bernadotte has a braid that reaches all the way down his back and a prench accent. The hair’s forgivable, but the accent is a major issue,” I countered.

“Rarity fakes her prench accent, I’m sure she could help. This sounds like fun, Fluttershy can handle the music and I can coordinate everything. That leaves AJ, Rainbow, and Pinkie for actors, Rarity would obviously be on costume duty,” Twilight thought aloud.

“Fun she says,” Catrix laughed.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Twilight, Hellsing’s a horror show about a secret organization that hunts vampires. Their favorite method is tossing a stronger vampire at them and watching him tear them limb from limb,” I explained.

“How bad would the play be?” Twilight inquired, already going pale.

“Rows one through twelve are in the splash zone,” Catrix laughed, referencing a sign we had posted during the original showing. We had five rows.

“I take it back, I don’t want my friends getting killed over a play,” Twilight relented, backing away.

“Jay, couldn’t you have your enforcers mimic the original characters?” Luna suggested.

“They’d have to load up on either something else’s blood or a passable substitute, but that would work,” I agreed.

“What’s an enforcer?” Catrix and Twilight asked at the same time.

“My soldiers, picture me but a foot shorter and with more lupine heads,” I explained before reaching a conclusion I didn’t like, “Ah crap, I’d have to be Seras, they can’t change their eye color.”

“Yeah, we had to swap roles for those scenes,” Catrix agreed.

“That actually settles it, we’ll use my enforcers. I’ll throw it together when we have some time, didn’t you have some more questions?” I prompted.

“Right. So Catrix, what did you do before you traveled to the Crystal Em-Kingdom?” Twilight asked obliviously.

“Twilight,” Luna warned, shaking her head.

“What? Was it something bad?” Twilight continued.

“Let it go, it’s a sore subject,” I advised, twisting so I could hold Catrix’s arm supportively. I noticed Luna mirroring my action.

“I’m fine, I made my peace with it a long time ago. You can ask if you want, but you won’t like the answer,” Catrix allowed.

“Will it aid in my research?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, my fate was the same as the rest of my kind,” Catrix replied.

“You don’t have to answer, but the scientific community and I would appreciate it. What was your life like as a citizen of Tartarus?” Twilight reiterated.

“I assume Jay told you what incubi are like, what he didn’t tell you is that they’re like that all the time. They preyed on us like the cruel monsters they are. You asked me what my life was like, it was a hell within a hell. I couldn’t even be summoned because my owner wouldn’t let me go. Jay outlawed the practice, but it still happens. The ones I call my sisters stole me during their run for the kingdom and I’ll never be able to repay them for it,” Catrix explained even though it was clearly painful for her.

“I’m so sorry, but could you be more specific. Were you tortured or…” Twilight reluctantly pressed.

“Twilight, that’s enough. Just say that she endured unspeakable horrors,” Luna ordered, moving off Catrix’s legs so she could better hold her.

“I don’t understand, what happened?” Twilight asked, confused.

“Luna, get Cat out of here, I feel a genocide coming on,” I ordered, remembering when Catrix had told me precisely why she was terrified of leaving the palace.

“Jay, no. You’ll upset the balance,” Catrix warned.

“Fuck the balance, you’ve lived in fear for too long,” I spat as I reached for where I had set Cataclysm.

“The imps will get their power, it’ll be chaos,” Catrix pleaded, “Please, it’s better this way. I’d go though it all again rather than risk the world like that.”

“I’ll kill them too. Fuck it, genocidal rage for everyone,” I snarled as my rage form manifested.

“There are billions of them and they’ll get stronger with every one you kill. Even if you won, it’d be eons before we saw you again. I also don’t know what it would do to me or the other succubi, my sisters might not survive the changes when the kingdom returns,” Catrix argued, jumping over to grab my sword arm.

“Gah, FUCK!” I swore, throwing my ancient sword at the wall. The blade returned to its usual green steel as it left my hand and embedded itself harmlessly in the wall.

“Jay, what was that about?” Luna asked as I returned to my normal size and shape.

“I hate them, I never wanted that wretched place to begin with but I hate the incubi the most. Making Cat relive what they did to her would have been the cruelest thing either of you have ever been a party to,” I raged.

“The last time you killed a bunch of demons, the imps learned how to talk and I grew claws. There’s no way to know what we would become if you went on a rampage,” Catrix warned, “The balance is there for a reason, it keeps us from getting too powerful.”

“This is the point where I usually find some slaving dogs to strangle, at least they stay dead. How are you so calm about this?” I raged as I sat back onto the couch, too mentally exhausted to act on my anger anymore.

“Because I need to be. Just like Twilight here, controlling herself enough to focus on her research instead of just ogling me,” Catrix replied.

“Thanks Miss Infernus, but I’m actually on libido suppressants,” Twilight rebuked politely.

“That’s a thing?” Luna asked. Her tone sounded shocked, but I suspected that she was attempting to steer the conversation towards a friendlier topic.

“Oh yes, they’re fairly new but I think I have a book on them around here somewhere. I think it was called ‘Freeing the Mind,’” Twilight replied, taking the bait eagerly.

“Sounds unnatural to me,” Catrix commented, her disgust clear on her face.

“I can see how it may be beneficial. Though I also understand your position Cat, it goes against your nature,” Luna added.

“Whatever, can we get back to the questions?” Catrix requested, trying to escape the topic of modern medicine.

“Okay, let’s avoid that last question if we can. How does summoning a demon work?” Twilight asked.

“A bunch of magic ritual stuff, that you won’t hear from me, tears a hole in reality. It homes in on whatever demon you have in mind, but is open to any others that may be nearby. Specific demons may be selected if you know them, which is how Jay summoned me and showed you Harry, but otherwise a random one will be chosen,” Catrix explained.

“And how did Mister Jekyll do that? I didn’t see any rituals,” Twilight pressed.

“My sword can be used as a substitute, the details of how this is accomplished are related to how I ended the Second Awakening,” I replied.

“Classified then, inconvenient,” Twilight commented, crossing out one of her notes.

“I’ve figured it out, and I can safely say that you’re better off not knowing,” Luna advised.

“You have?” I asked, surprised.

“I do have a basic understanding of what happened during the first one. Between that and your particular way of doing things, it wasn’t terribly difficult,” Luna bragged.

“Then Miss Infernus and I are the only ones who don’t know?” Twilight asked.

“I was there,” Catrix pointed out.

“Great, you don’t seem to care about this classified nonsense, you can tell me what happened,” Twilight said excitedly.

“I’m actually with Luna on this one, the details I’d need to tell you for anything to make sense aren’t for innocent ears,” Catrix replied.

“Aaaarg, what will it take for one of you to tell me? It’s driving me crazy!” Twilight shouted in frustration.

“A life or death situation that depends on it and for you to toughen up,” I answered.

“Ponyfeathers. Well that’s all I have for now, could you come back tomorrow? I should have some more questions by then,” Twilight requested.

“Sure, I’ll be around for a while anyway, I’m helping teach Luna a few things,” Catrix agreed, causing Twilight to turn bright red as she made connections that didn’t exist.

“Self-confidence my student, Cat has some skill in the field of psychology,” Luna clarified to Twilight’s relief.

“Hey Twilight can I have some bits? Winona ran off with my baseball,” Spike requested as he barged into the library, not noticing that his guardian had company.

“Spike, please don’t slam the door. And sure, go ahead and get some from my purse,” Twilight allowed, placing her hoof over her eyes in embarrassment.

“Thanks Twi-Is that Princess Luna? Hi Princess,” Spike greeted, causing Luna to turn and offer a friendly wave. Spike froze when Catrix did as well.

“Spike right? I’m Catrix, but everyone calls me Cat,” Catrix said, introducing herself.

“You’re pretty-sorry, I meant to say hello,” Spike stumbled. Catrix’s gaze turned analytical as she stood and walked over to the young dragon.

“Interested in females, likely in the first stages of puberty. Growth would appear stunted to an untrained eye. Wings absent, curious. Other development typical for a drake this small,” Catrix noted as she inspected the stunned dragon, even lifting some of his scales to better gauge his health.

“Miss Infernus, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, concerned about her actions toward her surrogate child.

“Subject is physically healthy, diagnosis for small size is non-standard upbringing,” Catrix concluded.

“What does that mean? Are you implying that it’s my fault Spike’s so small? He’s still a baby dragon,” Twilight huffed indignantly.

“Not quite, you’ve given him the chance to be great. But it will take longer for his body to match his mental maturity, he hasn’t been given the opportunity to live a greedy life. Continue living as you have been Spike, you’ll fill out eventually,” Catrix advised.

“Can you be my doctor forever?” Spike requested dreamily, completely lost in Catrix’s looks.

“I’m not a doctor, I’ve just known a few dragons during my time. As for what you really want, find me in sixty years or so,” Catrix offered with a wink that made Spike faint on the spot, “I’ve still got it.”

“Was that necessary?” Twilight deadpanned.

“Nope,” Catrix replied cheerfully.

“I’ve found that it’s easier to just find the humor in these moments,” Luna advised.

“I guess it is kinda funny,” Twilight admitted, “Hey, I just thought of something. I forgot to get your age.”

“Twilight, in most circles it is rude to ask a lady’s age,” Luna admonished lightly.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Catrix replied with a dismissive wave as she returned to the couch with an unconscious Spike in her arms, “But it gets further into demon physiology, you might need a new paper.”

“Right, one second, okay I’m ready,” Twilight mumbled as the frantically got a new paper ready.

“The shortest answer would be: since the beginning, but I suspect you want a better answer. Demons are more magic than flesh, I can be cut, stabbed, and quartered, but I’ll regenerate. Jay can kill us because when he eats something, he consumes its magic power as well. This causes the natural magic of Tartarus to be spread over fewer individuals and get stronger, but I’m getting off topic. To use myself as an example, my share of Tartarus’s power allows me to bend and flex in ways you would consider impossible. I don’t think I need to tell you why,” Catrix began, pausing to allow Twilight to catch up.

“Thank whatever’s out there I don’t get that shit, I’m already demony enough,” I added.

“It would help for my notes,” Twilight said after a moment of furious writing.

“Jay told you earlier,” Luna reminded her.

“Oh yeah. Okay, please continue,” Twilight requested with a wave of her hoof.

“As I was saying, my gift is flexibility, but all demons are fed life energy by the same force. No one really knows where we came from or why Tartarus naturally keeps us alive, but we were the first beings on this world. I don’t say that meaning my ancestors, I don’t have any, I have been alive since the birth of this planet,” Catrix continued.

“But that was over four billion years ago!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Has it been that long? The surface was still a land of lava and fire the first time I saw it. You see, we don’t have children. Most of us don’t even have genders, though we refer to them by their looks. Succubi are female and incubi are male, but none of the others have any reproductive organs at all. We’re timeless and we don’t care about our age, it wouldn’t make sense to when everyone you know is exactly as old as you,” Catrix reasoned.

“Then all of the other demons are your brothers and sisters?” Twilight asked foolishly. I cringed internally, I’d made the same mistake once. Twilight hit the floor in a daze as Catrix rained punches into her face before being pulled away by a combination of Luna’s magic and my tendrils.

“They’re not my brothers! They’ll never be my family!” Catrix screeched as she attempted to claw and bite her way out of her restraints.

“Luna! Abaddon! Now!” I ordered as Catrix burst into flame, forcing me to back off. Luna nodded and teleported away with Catrix.

“Ow, my head,” Spike complained, having been thrown into a bookshelf when Catrix attacked.

“Jeff, help him. I’ve got the bookworm,” I ordered as I lifted Twilight and carried her up the stairs towards her bedroom.

“What happened? What’d I do?” Twilight slurred, bruises were already starting to form ugly splotches across her face.

“You asked the wrong question, simple as that,” I replied sympathetically.

“Am I gonna be okay? Is Miss Infernus mad at me?” Twilight asked, her slur already fading slightly as painkillers numbed the region.

“You’ll heal, it’s just some bruising. Cat’ll be fine in a few minutes, two hours tops. She’s not actually mad at you, just that question. It’s the one part of her life that she can’t accept,” I answered.

“Why?” Twilight pressed.

“You never figured it out? Fine, I’ll spell it out for you. Cat’s been alive for a few billion years right? Well, the Crystal Kingdom was only about four hundred years old when I got there, but Cat had been there for around three hundred already. Add in the thousand years she’s spent under my protection, and that’s thirteen hundred years of peace in her entire life. The rest of the time she was constantly raped and tortured by one incubus or another, the same ones you insinuated were her brothers,” I explained.

“That’s why you hate them,” Twilight realized, her eyes widening as far as they could through the swelling that was starting to occur, “I could’ve figured that out, I should’ve figured that out. I’m a terrible pony.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too bad, Cat already did. Besides, she once beat my face in too,” I joked, though my tone was consoling.

“But you’re Jekyll, not even Princess Celestia could beat you,” Twilight argued as I set her in her bed to rest.

“Thanks, now I know who to turn to if I ever have amnesia. But honestly, Chelly could teleport me into the sun anytime she wanted,” I countered.

“If she hates you so much, why hasn’t she?” Twilight asked drowsily. My hand was resting on her shoulder comfortingly, but also feeding her painkillers and sedatives.

“Because she’s a hateful cunt and she needs someone to be a hateful cunt towards,” I replied, “Now you just rest, I’m sure Luna will be happy to heal you when you wake up.”

“I can’t sleep yet, I gotta know Spike’s okay,” Twilight argued, trying to rise as her thoughts drifted to her friend.

“I’m right here Twilight, she didn’t even throw me that hard,” Spike said from his basket at the foot of Twilight’s bed.

“C’mere buddy,” Twilight ordered, attempting to lift Spike with her magic despite the drugs running through her system.

“What’re you doing?” Spike asked in alarm as he was pulled over the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry about it too much, she’s on a lot of painkillers right now. Fair warning though, Luna gets really affectionate when she’s like this and I’m betting Twilight’s going to be too,” I advised as I walked out of the room, leaving the young dragon to his fate, “At least that part was entertaining.”

As I left the library I happened across an odd sight, even by my standards. Pinkie was riding on top of a strange spiderlike creature that was furiously chasing Rainbow from rooftop to rooftop. I blinked a few times as I thought through this particular sign of the apocalypse, shrugged, and flew back to Abaddon. 

“How’s my favorite motorhome?” I asked as I landed on Abaddon’s back and started for the door.

“Miss Catrix is currently confined to her room until she extinguishes herself, Mistress Luna is with the Sierras being treated for smoke inhalation, and I have sent three squads of Romeos to retrieve more biomatter to replace the amount destroyed by Miss Catrix. I miss Tzu, I got to joke around more when I didn’t have to do his job,” Abaddon complained as I walked though the door and into the hallway that led to Luna’s and my room.

“It’s been two days, he’ll be back once he’s completed his assignment,” I consoled.

“It’s still annoying, I’m not meant to be a proxy. I am a leviathan, I should be doing leviathan things,” Abaddon griped.

“Leviathan things? Like deciding you’re the king of an orchard or whatever Jeff is. Ug, it must be Tuesday, weird shit always happens on Tuesdays,” I groaned as I walked into my room and dropped onto the bed.

“It’s Monday,” Abaddon corrected.

“Is it at least close to nighttime?”

“It’s a little past noon.”

“Well fuck.”
> Chapter 16: Face Your Fears...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective Change: Luna


“Let go of me, I can heal myself!” I demanded hoarsely, though my captors continued layering awful smelling biomatter onto my side anyway.

“Ma’am, continuing to move like this will only aggravate your injuries,” the one closest to my head cautioned.

“Sierra,” I began kindly enough, “How do you intend to treat the internal burns?”

“Internal burns, ma’am? I don’t see any signs of that level of damage,” the enforcer replied.

“This is not the first time I’ve teleported into a fire, I know the extent of my injuries. Your treatment is preventing me from ending this torment,” I groaned.

“Ma’am, I must insist-”

“Abaddon! Get Jay to make them let me go!” I screamed as well as I could.

“Ma’am, Lord Jekyll doesn’t appear to be in a very active mood. However, as I am his acting proxy, I hereby order the medical team to stand down and desist their actions toward treating Mistress Luna’s wounds so she may do so herself as she sees fit on this occasion,” Abaddon declared, continuing his speech long after the Sierras had released me. Thankfully, they started with the biomatter attached to my horn, allowing me to take a moment to cast a powerful healing spell on myself before I responded.

“Thanks Abby, but did you need to be so formal?” I asked curiously, suppressing a laugh now that I wasn’t in pain.

“I have no idea what I’m doing, it sounded good at the time,” Abaddon admitted.

“I know you weren’t meant for this, but you’re doing great,” I encouraged the giant creature that I was currently inside, “Now, let’s find Jay and get Cat to calm down enough to not singe my feathers.”

I found Jekyll in our room, hanging from the ceiling by a tendril wrapped around his neck, “What are you doing?”

“Hanging around,” Jekyll replied, to no one’s amusement. Definitely not mine.

“Why?” I pressed.

“It’s good for my spine,” Jekyll lied.

“You don’t have a spine. Or bones, for that matter,” I pointed out.

“You ever get bored and do dumb stuff to entertain yourself? That’s what you walked in on. That and I’m pissed at the world right now and don’t want to deal with anything,” Jekyll admitted, sending me into a minor panic attack. I was part of the world, had I done something wrong? Was Jekyll going to kick me out? Was he going to run off with Catrix and leave me behind to sort out Celestia’s mess by myself?


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Lu, breathe,” I ordered as I dropped from where I was hanging, allowing Luna to rush in and throw her hooves around my neck in panic.

“I’m sorry! I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry!” Luna rambled, taking my casual statement to the extreme. I made a note to be more careful in the future.

“You didn’t do anything, it’s just a phrase. Let’s get Cat to cool off and then we can start setting things right,” I suggested softly, hoping Catrix wouldn’t be too temperamental when we got there.

“Okay,” Luna agreed meekly, falling into step behind me before I even started walking. With a sigh, I moved to my regular place on her left before setting out. I stopped Luna before we entered and poked my head in to make sure it would be safe.

Catrix’s room was in ruins, the bed was gone, there was more ash than oxygen in the air, and every surface was exactly the same as the ground of Tartarus. Catrix herself was curled up in the far corner, hugging her knees to her chest and sobbing.

“Cat?” I asked in concern.

“Go away. I shouldn’t be around any males right now,” Catrix ordered weakly.

“Would it be alright if Luna came in? I think you both need someone to talk to right now,” I requested.

“Sure, send in my latest victim, that’s a great idea,” Catrix spat.

“You’re upset over a little smoke inhalation? Luna’s fine, she’s right here and worried about you,” I insisted.

“Smoke? Smoke!? You weren’t there, a ripper would’ve been proud of the burns I left her with,” Catrix raved, driving her fist into the overcooked flesh of the wall.

“I messed up the teleport and rematerialized in her flames. It was pretty bad but nothing I couldn’t mend with a little magic,” Luna whispered, cluing me in to how badly I had been misinformed.

“Go to her,” I urged, “Cat doesn’t have a lot of friends and she thinks she’s lost you, I’m sure you can relate. My suggestion, be as forward as you can stand.”

“Okay,” Luna agreed quietly. Slowly walking into the room with her head low to avoid as much ash and smoke as she could, Luna announced her presence by sitting next to Catrix and wrapping a wing around the distraught demon’s shoulders, “It wasn’t your fault, I messed up and got myself hurt. I’m fine, Cat, you don’t need to punish yourself over an accident.”

“It was still my flames, if I hadn’t lost control this wouldn’t have happened at all. Now I’ve hurt you and Twilight, I don’t deserve your friendship,” Catrix insisted sadly, attempting to squirm out of Luna’s embrace.

“I could make the same argument. I tried to kill everyone when I was the Nightmare, I don’t deserve your friendship or anyone else’s. But it doesn’t matter, friends forgive each other. I forgive you for being upset at Twilight’s question, can you forgive me for failing to teleport properly and putting us in this position?” Luna asked softly, leaning into Catrix for emphasis.

“I-I think I can, but only if you’ll turn that advice on yourself as well. I heard your freakout over Jay’s comment,” Catrix said after a long moment, even cracking a small smile as she spoke.

“I know, and I’m trying, but knowing something and feeling it are two different things. I’m still on step two, remember?” Luna replied, nodding.

“I’m not sure whether to make the walls thicker to keep you out of our business or make them even thinner so you can do your job more efficiently,” I commented, reminding the two of them that I was still there.

“I vote for thinner walls,” Catrix replied immediately, her usual smirk reappearing.

“Can it be variable? Can we have Abby make them thicker when we want some privacy?” Luna asked uneasily.

“That would require Abaddon to take that biomass away from something else, it could be a major problem if we came under attack while he wasn’t at full strength,” I lied.

“I suppose I’m being watched by Abby anyway, do what you want,” Luna allowed, sounding defeated.

“You make it sound like I’ve got my ear pressed against the wall at all hours of the day,” Catrix accused, “It’s much easier to get Abby to open a small hole for me to listen through from the comfort of my...oh.”

“It’s fine, I’ll have Abaddon make you a new one,” I consoled, ignoring her admission of spying on us.

“I owe him an apology too,” Catrix added, peeling a bit of blackened flesh off the wall.

“He should be able to repair it any second now, he’s probably waiting for me to tell him it’s safe,” I replied, sending a tendril into the raw biomatter Catrix had exposed and relaying the all clear. The walls became an explosion of activity as the damaged material was broken down and replaced. Within seconds, only the floor remained burned.

“I’m hesitant to repair the floor with you two sitting on it, it would be rather uncomfortable. In fact, I’d prefer it if you all left the room,” Abaddon declared, sprouting from the wall adjacent to where I was standing.

“I should check on Twilight,” Luna excused herself before teleporting away.

“Something I should know about?” I asked.

“An awkward moment a few weeks ago, I’ve been sworn to silence,” Abaddon replied.

“And that means what to you?” I pressed. Abaddon sighed before answering my original question.

“When Mistress Luna required a latrine for the first time, she was sitting on the floor when she asked me to make one. It would appear that converting mass into tendrils and shifting their position is…” Abaddon trailed off, clearly uncomfortable with continuing.

“It’s okay, I understand what you’re saying. I assume you aren’t moving?” I asked, my question directed to our resident demon.

“If that statement was going where I think it was going, I think I’ll be more than fine right here,” Catrix replied.

“Well I’m going to go yell at Pinkie for taking advantage of Tzu, don’t traumatize my leviathan while I’m out,” I ordered before walking out of the room. Out of curiosity toward Abaddon’s reaction, I paused in the hallway and adjusted my hearing to pick up what was going on inside.

“Ma’am, I assure you, Mistress Luna did not find this pleasant,” Abaddon warned.

“I’m not Luna, you’ve never seen anything like me before,” Catrix replied, her voice gaining the sultry tone she had used at my promotion party. Satisfied that Catrix hadn’t been changed by her recent experience, I returned my hearing to normal and continued on my way.

“Hey Jekyll, how’s life?” Discord asked, spotting me as I rounded a corner.

“Been better, people are dumb,” I groaned.

“I’m going to guess there’s a mare involved, I’ve seen that look before,” Discord replied with a smirk.

“Several, but not in the way you’re implying. Luna’s a skittish mess, Twilight doesn’t have any common sense, Pinkie’s abusing her authority over Tzu, and Cat is being Cat,” I complained.

“Who’s Cat?” Discord asked, tilting his head.

“The demon, her name is Catrix Infernus,” I clarified.

“That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, unless she’s taking up too much of your time. I was actually looking to ask you about her. Could you introduce me?” Discord asked hopefully.

“Only if you want to make her laugh at you. If you want to meet her properly, go knock on her door in an hour or so,” I advised.

“Why an hour?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to be anywhere near that room right now,” I warned my guest.

“I don’t get it, is she getting dressed or something? I’ll just go, she wouldn’t let someone walk in on something she doesn’t want others to see,” Discord reasoned before turning around to walk back the way I came.

“People are dumb,” I reiterated to no one. I reached the deck and took flight without any further interruptions. Thinking I would probably find Pinkie and Tzu at Sugarcube Corner, I angled toward the bakery to start my search.

“Ah, Mister Jekyll, I didn’t expect to see you here,” Mrs Cake greeted as I walked through the door.

“Just looking for your employee,” I replied easily.

“Jeff’s in the back, I’ll go get him,” Mrs Cake offered, turning towards the door to the kitchen.

“I’m actually looking for Pinkie, I trusted her to help one of my subordinates and she’s taking advantage of him,” I corrected.

“Pinkie? She took the week off, I haven’t seen her,” Mrs Cake responded, looking away.

“She’s upstairs, isn’t she?” I asked knowingly.

“Yes,” Mrs Cake admitted.

“Thanks for your help Cup,” I said with a friendly smile before walking to the stairs. The lock on Pinkie’s door was a simple one and took less than a second to pick, barely slowing me at all before allowing the door to swing open and reveal the activity inside.

“Sir, I wasn’t expecting you,” Tzu said nervously, a pillow still held in one of his hands. The one that had obviously been in his other hand was still attached to Pinkie’s face.

“I can see that. How are your lessons coming along?” I asked neutrally.

“Nothing so far sir, and Pinkie’s starting to run out of ideas. Is there something wrong with me? Why does everything seem like a chore?” Tzu asked sadly.

“Good question, even Abaddon finds ways to have fun. If Pinkie can’t find anything you like to do, let me know and I’ll see if there’s a chemical issue with your cells,” I offered, “And Pinkie, the spider thing was too much. Scaring the whole town isn’t something my people should be associated with.”

“That wasn’t me, I have no idea where that creature came from,” Tzu rebuked, catching me off guard.

“No shit? Where did it go?” I asked.

“I took care of it in our way,” Tzu replied, obviously dancing around saying that he killed and ate it.

“Were you seen?” I continued.

“The whole town saw him wrangle that mean old spider and drag it back into the Everfree, Suzy’s a local hero now!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly.

“I suppose that’s the best possible outcome. Well, keep me posted,” I ordered before walking back out of the room, “Never seen any giant spiders in the Everfree, have to send a team to check it out.”

A pony shaped object collided with my back once I reached the bottom of the stairs and turned towards the door, “Uncle Jay!”

“Hey Lily, I thought I saw you when we were first getting into town,” I greeted, aware that the rest of the bakery had gone silent when Lily had jumped on me.

“Yeah, I tried talking to Abaddon a few minutes ago, but he seemed distracted,” Lily replied.

“Catrix,” I explained, knowing I didn’t need to say anything else.

“That-That’s just confusing. I mean, how? She’s smaller than one of his teeth. Did you give him the world’s cruelest handicap or what?” Lily asked, eliciting a laugh from the kitchen.

“Why don’t we continue this somewhere more private? I’m sure Luna will be excited to see you,” I suggested.

“Okay,” Lily agreed, pulling herself higher on my back to hang more comfortably. Resisting the urge to shrug, I set off for the library with my adopted niece on my back. One of the great things about Ponyville was that weird things happened all the time. As such, no one looked twice at the unicorn riding around on my back. Not one pony even stared at us as we walked to the library, though Roseluck had panicked and run off at the sight of me. I didn’t take it personally, she always did that when anything out of the ordinary happened.

“What do you mean you don’t know how to overcharge? It’s one of the first tricks a unicorn should learn,” Luna asked. Both Luna and Twilight were fussing over a spell book and hadn’t noticed our entry into the library.

“I’ve had a few magic surges, but nopony ever taught me how to do it on purpose,” Twilight responded defensively.

“And you don’t have any books on the subject? How curious,” Luna commented.

“Chelly got rid of them, you can substitute an overcharge for demon magic,” I explained, causing the two of them to jump in surprise.

“Jay, I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” Luna stumbled.

“Ran into a mutual friend after talking to Pinkie,” I replied, turning to allow them to see the young mare attached to my back.

“Hi Lu-woah!” Lily shouted, falling off my back when she attempted to wave.

“It seems Jay was right. How are you Lily?” Luna greeted the pony caught in her telekinesis.

“I’m alright. Mom said I should meet the other side of the family before the wedding, but Blue said I wouldn’t like Canterlot. I agreed to wait for them here, but it’s been a week and I’m running out of bits,” Lily confessed.

“You’re covered,” I declared.

“Thanks Jay, but I wasn’t worried about myself. I think something may have happened to Blue,” Lily clarified worriedly.

“I’ll send a team to check it out,” I said.

“They’ll have the support of the royal guard as well, no friend of mine will be left scared and alone like this,” Luna added.

“Um, hi I’m Twilight. I don’t know what’s going on but I want to help too,” Twilight offered as well.

“Thank you all. Hey Uncle Jay, do you think I could see Cat today? It’s been years since we got to talk,” Lily requested.

“She’ll probably be busy for a while, but you can stay with us on Abaddon if you want. Cheaper than renting a room,” I offered.

"That sounds good, is Abaddon handling the organizational stuff?” Lily asked, her eyes going white as she overcharged to show off while preparing to teleport. 

“Yep,” I replied. With a thundering crack of released magic, she was gone.

“That’s an overcharge? I’ve never heard a teleport that loud before,” Twilight asked in awe.

“Yes it was, but I’m left wondering where she learned how to do that,” Luna replied with a suspicious glance toward me.

“She figured it out on her own, one of those things fillies do when trying to find their cutie marks. It took Lily a long time to figure out her talent, took till after her thirteenth birthday to discover that it was being pretty,” I argued.

“That’s an odd one, how did she figure it out?” Twilight asked curiously.

“No idea, she never told me,” I replied, shrugging.

You don’t think…” Luna began nervously.

“No, either one of her parents would have murdered the guy or they’d have let me loose on him, either way I would have heard,” I replied reassuringly.

“I’m inclined to agree, but how does that translate into being able to overcharge?” Luna conceded.

“Tried out professional magician. She didn’t have anyone to teach her, so she started trying out random stuff to see what would happen,” I explained.

“That’s incredibly dangerous! She could’ve hurt herself or somepony else!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Kids do dumb stuff,” I reasoned.

“Whatever the case may be with young Lily, your capabilities will be stunted without the ability to overcharge,” Luna stated, bringing Twilight back on track.

“Right. So now that I’ve seen it, it looks a lot like a surge,” Twilight noted, falling back into place by her teacher’s side. I walked over to the couch and sat to watch Luna work.

“The two are visually similar, but structurally they could not be more different. A surge is the complete loss of control, normal activity is directing magic while using spells to focus it in order to change the world around us, but overcharging is to have even more control over the magic coursing through you so that you may force it through the filter of the spell in ways it was never meant to. When used with a healing spell you might regenerate lost limbs or reverse time on the subject, depending on how much control you have,” Luna explained.

“And with a teleport?” Twilight asked.

“Overcharging a teleport is arguably both the most useful application, and the most dangerous. What would happen if you were to teleport into a wall? You’d die, correct? An overcharged teleport into a wall would shatter the wall and allow you to walk away unharmed. However, were you to teleport into a small room with another pony in it, they would be killed by the pressure wave of your teleport,” Luna continued.

“Seen it happen,” I added, “It used to be a common military tactic for urban fighting.”

“Indeed,” Luna confirmed with a nod.

“So how do I do it? I think I understand the risks and rules behind it but what is the actual technique?” Twilight asked.

“This will require some trust from you, my student. You will have to trust in your ability to let it go when you achieve it, you must not attempt a spell without first knowing the effect it will have,” Luna warned before stepping away from the desk.

“No spells, got it,” Twilight parroted.

“Face me and follow my instructions. Take a wide stance, ensure you will not slip or otherwise lose traction on the floor. Any loss of focus can be dangerous. Breath slowly and easily, be at peace. When you are ready, draw your magic as though you were going to cast a spell but give it no outlet,” Luna instructed, following her own directions while Twilight tried to do the same with her eyes closed. This was Luna’s element, her real talent, and Luna looked elated to be teaching something she was so passionate about.

“It hurts,” Twilight complained quietly.

“Let go, you’re holding it too tightly. Let’s start again, this time try to relax. This isn’t a test, just two friends having tea and talking about the newest issue of a book series,” Luna said, her voice rising and falling to the tune of some unheard melody. After a moment Twilight’s horn flickered and died out.

“I don’t understand, why didn’t it work?” Twilight asked in frustration.

“Did you ever have one of those puzzles that only get more difficult when you get frustrated or angry? This is not too different, you must be calm and free of distractions until you have mastered it,” Luna advised.

“And then I’ll be able to overcharge whenever I want?” Twilight asked, already starting on another attempt.

“Just wait, Twilight. Take a moment to relax, brew some tea if you wish. You will not master this art today, nor even this week, it takes years to reach that level,” Luna cautioned.

“Even then, it isn’t something to use all the time. I’ve only seen Luna overcharge twice and the first time it left her with a mild case of burnout,” I added.

“A good point to make. Keep practicing Twilight, just remember to stop when you start getting frustrated. I admit I’m curious about what color your eyes will turn,” Luna commented.

“Wait, I thought they could only turn white. Magic doesn’t have a natural color, wouldn’t that mean any amount that spills out would match this?” Twilight asked. Luna’s wings flared on reflex as her eyes cast their, now familiar, black light across the room.

“It depends on the caster. If you’re powerful enough, your will may change its hue. I suspect you are more than capable of this, just as I was at your age,” Luna responded, her voice echoing from the amount of power she held.

“Wow, I’ve never seen Princess Celestia do that,” Twilight commented, awestruck. Luna immediately returned to normal with a huff.

“Tia finds it... I believe the best word would be ‘nerdy.’ She refuses to overcharge unless there is no other option, she wouldn’t even use the technique against Discord,” Luna spat.

“He claims that he let you win, by the way,” I added.

“Impossible, we had the Elements at our side,” Luna argued.

“That’s why I believe him, even I can dodge the Elements. Honestly, they’re a great weapon system but they take way too long to fire,” I countered.

“And he would do this because?” Luna asked.

“He says that he had already retired by the time your parents showed up and gave up so he wouldn’t have to fight anymore,” I replied. 

“Jay, please don’t take my only real victory away from me,” Luna requested, shaking her head to rid herself of any doubts.

“You beat Chelly,” I pointed out.

“With help. Though Tia and I both fought against Discord, I can live with that,” Luna agreed reluctantly.

“I’m still trying to comprehend that part, Princess Celestia has always been a goddess to the rest of us. To hear about her losing a fight, or even getting hurt, it’s hard to wrap my head around. To be in the same room with two ponies that have beaten her, I feel really small,” Twilight commented.

“I always tell people not to compare themselves to me, I’m not like anyone else you’ve ever met. I’ve kicked some serious ass in my day, but I’ve also been around for a lot longer than you. I’ve learned from many teachers and faced many challenges. You’re still young, you haven't hit your prime yet. Keep learning, I expect you’ll be a sight to see some day. Don’t expect me to run in fear though,” I replied with an easy smile.

“I think that concludes our lessons for today, I suggest you spend some time with your friends,” Luna announced, stretching her shoulders dramatically.

“You looking to confront Discord?” I asked casually, leaning back as Luna walked over to where I was sitting.

“Not quite yet, I actually had a few questions for Cat,” Luna corrected.

“Alright, she should be bored of Abaddon by now,” I agreed, standing so I wouldn’t fall when we were teleported. With a flash from Luna’s horn, we were back in our room.

“So the walls really don’t block any sound,” Luna commented.

“Two female voices, one has to be Cat, the other sounds like Lily to me,” I added.

“Nope, I’m over here,” Lily said from the bed behind us, “Dunno who she’s got ahold of, but I’m kinda jealous.”

“But you’re engaged,” Luna cried in shock.

“Meh, I’d give Blue a turn too,” Lily said with a shrug.

“Neither of you could keep up with her, you’d only embarrass yourselves and feel like amateurs afterwards,” I warned.

“Preach it!” Catrix shouted from the next room.

“Abaddon, who’s in there and how did they get here?” I asked.

“The one you call Pinkie dropped off two of Jeffrey’s friends via a flying machine of some kind, they said they wanted to talk to Miss Catrix. They haven’t spoken at all,” Abaddon replied.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” Catrix apologized from the doorway.

“Are your guests going to miss you?” I asked, not noting any change from the other room.

“Nah, I’ve just been watching for the last twenty minutes anyway,” Catrix said dismissively before noticing Lily sitting on the bed and tackling the unicorn in a hug, “Lily!”

“Hey Cat, how you been?” Lily managed.

“I made a new friend. Other than that, about the same,” Catrix replied conversationally, her tone belying the suffocating hug she was delivering to Lily.

“You ever miss the days when it was just us?” I asked Luna.

“Not really, this is adorable,” Luna replied.

“If it keeps going, it’ll be murder,” I commented, Lily was starting to turn blue.

“I give! I give! You win,” Lily barely managed to say before Catrix released her and allowed her to breathe.

“You take back what you said about me not always being able to squeeze you like a filly?” Catrix asked with a sly smile.

“I take it back,” Lily conceded with a smile of her own.

“Great, now I can badger you about that jealousy comment. Since when are you big enough to talk like that, hmm?” Catrix chided.

“I’m twenty-two Cat, I can talk however I want,” Lily shot back.

“I suppose that’s true, you are your own mare now. But I can make my own decisions too, and making your mother mad at me isn’t something I want to do,” Catrix countered.

“Ease up Cat, I was only joking,” Lily said defensively.

“Fine, I’ll let it slide. This time,” Catrix allowed before turning to address Luna and I, “So Luna, what’s on your mind?”

“How do you do that?” Luna asked, looking slightly unnerved.

“You’re easy to read,” Catrix replied easily.

“Well, um, could we talk privately?” Luna requested.

“No, the walls literally have ears. But Abaddon won’t tell unless Jay needs to know, so I guess we can,” Catrix agreed, falling into step as Luna led them out of the room.

“So,” I began.

“You going to berate me too?” Lily asked tersely.

“Depends, does Lucky know where you are?” I countered.

“No,” Lily admitted before quickly adding, “but it was her idea to meet Blue’s parents.”

“When were you supposed to be home?” I continued.

“Yesterday, I couldn’t afford a new ticket after I didn’t make the train out of Canterlot,” Lily responded, her ears lowering.

“Abaddon, send a Mike to let Lucky know that Lily’s safe and with me,” I ordered.

“Jay, could I still stay here and travel with you and Cat? I’ve never seen much outside of the hotel,” Lily requested meekly.

“I did send a message instead of sending you with that Mike,” I replied.

“Thanks Uncle Jay, I promise not to get in the way,” Lily said gratefully.

“Bah, my enforcers can move through the walls, just do your thing,” I rebuked.

“Not to be a bother, but Abaddon doesn’t have any empty rooms yet. He said he was still being expanded to fit an indoor pool. Where should I sleep?” Lily asked hesitantly.

“Until the Bravos finish their work, you can sleep in Cat’s room or Discord’s. Or I can talk to Luna about moving Cat in with us and giving you her room,” I offered.

“Discord? Like, evil dictator, drive everyone insane, Discord?” Lily asked in horror.

“Turns out that he’s not that bad. But yeah, that Discord,” I confirmed.

“What the fuck happened to my life? I actually miss being bored,” Lily groaned.

“Kid, you ain’t seen nothing yet,” I promised darkly.


Perspective Change: Luna


“This seems as good as anywhere,” I commented as I looked around the storage room.

“Must be something serious to drag me to the other side of the leviathan over it,” Catrix guessed, moving to sit on a small stack of boxes.

“I’m just having some trouble wrapping my head around some things, but I don’t know how to talk to Jay about it. Honestly, we could’ve talked in the hallway, I was just wandering while I figured out how to talk to you,” I confessed, looking at the floor in shame.

“Don’t worry about it, this is what I’m here for,” Catrix said reassuringly.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. After I tried to rush myself and propositioned Jay, he said he’d never push me to do anything like that. But now you’re here and that seems to be your end goal, and he’s helping you. I don’t understand,” I explained.

“I get what you’re saying, and it would seem like Jay lied to you. But he didn’t. I don’t actually care whether or not you two get it on, that’s your choice. My job is to help you be yourself, to strip away all the issues and trauma that are keeping you from that point. My focus is on the intimacy and sexual side because it lets me hit all of the most crippling problems at the same time. If I can restore your self worth, most of your confidence issues will resolve themselves,” Catrix replied.

“How does that factor into all of this?” I wondered.

“You see yourself as less than those around you, not even deserving a demon as a friend. You put everyone else on this unreachable pedestal and reason that they’re too much better than you to properly love you, even me, and it scares the shit out of you. Jay’s in there fighting his own biology to try to love you properly, and it makes you feel guilty. That fear and guilt lower the value you place on yourself and the whole thing gets worse,” Catrix elaborated, drawing my attention to my rising depression and causing me to evaluate its roots.

“Why?” I asked as I fought to reign myself in before I started crying again.

“Why am I doing this? I really do see you as a friend and I want you too be happy, the fact that that’s literally my job is just fluff at this point. Why am I focusing on sex? You have seen me right? Seriously though, it’s just a convenient benchmark. The actual goal is to see yourself as Jay’s equal, the way he sees you. As this makes him a real person and therefore obtainable, it’ll remove the layer of fear in your mind,” Catrix answered.

“You got all of that from a few conversations?” I asked, choosing to ignore the tears that were already starting to edge their way out of the eyes Jekyll gave me.

“And your mannerisms, but it’s still a developing diagnosis,” Catrix corrected.

“I pray you’re right. I’m supposed to be a queen but I’m not fit to preside over a garden if I start crying over things like this,” I commented.

“We’ll get there,” Catrix reassured.

“I only have one more question. Why did Jay get you to handle this, wouldn’t a pony therapist be more effective?” I asked.

“Ponies are fleeting creatures to people like us, they are born and die too quickly to treat an immortal. A callous view, perhaps, but it’s accurate nonetheless,” Catrix replied.

“I suppose we could head back, it should be approaching dusk and it’s been a long day,” I suggested.

“Would you mind if we took a quick detour? I accidentally burned my dress earlier and need a new one,” Catrix requested.

“Of course, where did the original come from?” I asked, receiving a shrug in response.

“A mare named Rarity, she owns a shop in Ponyville called Carousel Boutique,” Abaddon answered helpfully.

“Thanks Abby,” I said to the wall before returning my focus to Catrix, “Do you need to hide under my wing?”

“If you don’t mind,” Catrix agreed. Once Catrix was tucked into my side and sufficiently concealed, I teleported us to the only place I knew in Ponyville to start our search. Unfortunately we teleported in front of the library right as a number of colts and fillies were heading there, presumably to do their homework.

“Wow, it’s Princess Luna! Hi princess!,” a brown and white spotted colt greeted immediately.

“Whatcha got under yer wing, Princess,” a yellow filly with a red mane asked.

“Are you going to be here for Nightmare Night? That would be awesome!” another colt asked. They were starting to crowd in on me and I began to panic.

“Miss Catrix?” I heard a filly whisper in confusion before shouting at the rest, “Hey, don’t crowd the princess or she might not come back!”

“Whatever Blank-Flank, we were just passing by anyway,” a snooty looking unicorn sneered as the crowd dispersed, leaving only one filly by my side.

“You’re friends with Miss Catrix, Princess?” the white and purple filly asked.

“Hi Sweetie Belle,” Catrix greeted quietly.

“Why are you hiding? Oh, is it because you don’t want to make everypony act funny?” Sweetie asked to my growing confusion.

“We’re looking for a mare named Rarity, I understand she made Cat a dress yesterday and she needs some more,” I requested.

“That’s my sister, I can take you to her. Could you do me a favor and not mention that I have demon friends?” Sweetie offered. At my nod, the filly led us down the street and stopped in front of a building that could only be Carousel Boutique. An odd architectural combination of a carnival ride and dress shop molded into one eye catching exterior.

“My thanks Miss Belle, both for the rescue and directions,” I said gratefully.

“Anytime Princess,” Sweetie replied with a wink before running back toward the library.

“Why am I afraid of that filly?” I wondered aloud.

“Probably because she knows way too much to be as innocent as she seems,” Catrix replied. I didn’t know how to respond to that so I simply walked over to the door and knocked.

“Coming, dear,” a voice sang from the other side.

“I’m starting to question my sanity,” I commented, completely serious.

“That means you’re still sane,” Catrix replied as the door opened to reveal another white unicorn, though with a darker mane. 

“Miss Rarity, I presume?” I asked politely, “May we come inside?”

“Oh my, there’s a princess on my doorstep. Okay Rarity, you practiced this. Don’t panic, just take the order with grace and dignity,” Rarity replied, maintaining eye contact despite talking to herself.

“Take your time, breathe, and relax,” I advised sympathetically.

“Did I say that out loud? I’m so sorry, please come in. Would you like some tea?” Rarity asked, moving away from the door with something that could be called grace.

“I’d love some, but I should introduce you to my friend Cat first. She’s the one who requires your services,” I said as I lifted my wing and exposed the demon hidden underneath.

“Hi, I’m Catrix but everybody calls me Cat,” Catrix greeted, straightening her posture while demonstrating a truly graceful movement.

“I made a dress for you yesterday, didn’t I?” Rarity asked as she wandered toward Catrix, “I handled that silk with my own hooves, I’m one material away from your skin.”

“I was hoping you could make me a few more, the first one was so well made that I just had to have a complete set,” Catrix praised, leaving out that she had accidentally incinerated the original.

“Anything you want beautiful,” Rarity replied wistfully, now within touching distance of Catrix’s leg.

“If you need a muse, I suppose I could spare the time,” Catrix reasoned, sounding bored.

“Would you? You’re so beautiful and generous, would you mind if I just…” Rarity trailed off as she absently took another step forward and licked Catrix’s thigh.

“Okay, I’ve had my fun. Luna could you figure out how to fix her?” Catrix requested.

“I don’t know anything about the drugs Twilight used or how they work, I’m  sorry Cat,” I apologized, “How have you handled ponies in the past?”

“Ug, hold on, I’ll be back in a few minutes and she’ll be able to focus for a while,” Catrix groaned, allowing Rarity to lead her upstairs. True to her word, Catrix and Rarity returned less than five minutes later.

“Sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me,” Rarity apologized.

“I understand, it’s quite alright. As I was saying, Cat needs some more dresses to keep everypony else from going crazy as well,” I repeated.

“Sure, I think I still have her measurements around here somewhere. Give me a second to find them and I’ll make a full set. It should only take me a couple hours, if you don’t mind waiting,” Rarity replied, immediately picking through scraps of paper for the notes in question.

“A couple hours for a set? Impressive,” I praised.

“Her shape is easier to work with than a pony’s and begs for elegant simplicity,” Rarity explained.

“I’ve been told that before,” Catrix agreed.

“It isn’t down here, I must have left it in my room. Excuse me,” Rarity requested before hurrying back up the stairs to continue her search. If nothing else, she was getting plenty of exercise running around like that.

“I hope it wasn’t on her bed,” Catrix commented.

“I don’t want to know,” I hissed back. A muffled scream all but confirmed Catrix’s hypothesis and an ashamed looking Rarity slowly made her way down the stairs a few seconds later.

“Could I trouble you to allow me measure you?” Rarity requested quietly.

“A tip for the future, use a pencil. Ink runs, but lead doesn’t,” Catix advised as she followed Rarity into the back room, leaving me alone in the showroom again. I decided to flip through a few magazines conveniently placed next to the couch to pass the time, though I didn’t expect to find an article about attracting stallions in one that looked so classy on the cover.

“Cosmopolitan Mares Weekly,” I noted, reevaluating the smiling blond mare on the cover, “I have read books thinner than this, how do they manage to write and publish one of these every week? I suppose filling it with inane drivel helps.”

When Catrix and Rarity returned, they found me levitating my hoof to turn the pages of the magazine I was skimming through, “Bored much?”

“No, why?” I responded dryly.

“If you want to take off, I’ll be fine here. And even if I’m not, I can always opt out and wait for Jay to resummon me,” Catrix offered.

“I’d rather you didn’t, I don’t like the thought of you hurting yourself. I can wait if you want,” I replied.

“Go on, go. Find something more entertaining than that shitty magazine,” Catrix dismissed, waving me towards the door.

“I’ll stay in Ponyville so I can teleport us back when you’re done,” I promised as I let myself be shooed outside, “Well now what am I supposed to do?”

“Hello Princess, how are you today?” a mare I vaguely remembered asked kindly from the street.

“I’m well, thank you Miss…” I trailed off.

“Cake, and it’s Missus actually,” Mrs Cake corrected.

“My apologies, I’m usually good with names but it’s been a bit of a day,” I apologized.

“It’s alright. Say, you look like you could use a nice cup of hot chocolate, why don’t you come with me back to Sugarcube Corner and I’ll fix one right up for you,” Mrs Cake offered.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“It was just some colt giving you a flower,” I deadpanned.

“Yep,” Lily replied.

“And you never thought of becoming a model,” I continued.

“Nope,” Lily replied with the same tone as before.

“Abaddon, I need two pieces of bread,” I ordered, receiving the requested items a second later. I looked deeply into Lily’s eyes as I pressed the bread to the sides of her head, “What are you?”

“I don’t-”

“You’re an idiot sandwich,” I declared, cramming the bread in her mouth to stifle her retort, “I thought you would, your parents thought you would, your sisters thought you would, why the fuck didn’t you leave that stupid ass hotel and get a job in front of a camera?”

“I just never thought of it,” Lily managed around the bread in her mouth.

“And Blueblood doesn’t think you’ll like Canterlot, why? You’re a unicorn, pretty, low-born but they won’t know that, and there are a ton of modeling agencies there, I don’t get it. What does he gain by keeping you away?” I mused.

“You think he’s embarrassed of me? That he’s scared I’ll say something stupid in front of his noble friends?” Lily proposed.

“He doesn’t have any, more likely that he’s worried about your safety,” I countered.

“Is Canterlot that ruthless? Would someone ponynap me for being engaged to him?” Lily asked.

“Possible but still unlikely. Though if I were him, I’d be taking every precaution,” I replied.

“Because you’ll turn him inside out if anything happens to me?” Lily guessed.

“Something like that, yeah,” I responded.

“Then he’s just being paranoid and I don’t have anything to worry about?” Lily asked.

“Probably, we’ll know for sure when the team gets back,” I replied.

“Why didn’t he just ask you for help?” Lily wondered.

“Pride. He sees me as a stand in for your dad, needs my approval and all that. He’d be ashamed of himself if he had to come to me for help,” I explained.

“You’ve seen this before,” Lily accused.

“Once, had a talk with that fellow too. You definitely got the braver one, at least Blueblood kept breathing,” I confessed.

“What’s left on the list? I think we’ve run out of things to talk about,” Lily asked.

“Sleeping arrangements. You make a choice on that yet?” I pressed.

“I’d prefer my own room but I can sleep with Cat if I have too,” Lily replied.

“I’ll talk to Luna. Abaddon?”

“Mistress Luna is in Ponyville at the moment, specifically at the bakery known as Sugarcube Corner. Jeff says she’s on her third hot chocolate,” Abaddon replied.

“Why call her mistress? Shouldn’t you call her princess or lady?” Lily asked, confused.

“Lady Luna sounds stupid,” was Abaddon’s only response.

“I’ll give you that one, but it’s wrong. Jay and Luna got married, she’s not his mistress,” Lily insisted.

“I’ll leave you two to argue this one out, I’m gonna find Luna and figure out where Cat’ll be sleeping,” I said as I backed out of the room, an amused smile on my face as Abaddon continued to dismiss Lily’s objections.

“Sir, I just got a report of increased activity in the Everfree,” Abaddon warned as I walked toward the deck.

“Visuals?”

“Nothing but scattering birds and rustled trees, however it’s either one big creature or a lot of smaller ones. Do you think Dopple would attack here?” Abaddon asked nervously.

“No, this is as close to neutral ground as we get. He’s known this town almost as long as I have, there’s an emotional connection to it and he doesn’t want to see it harmed. I think this is something else,” I reasoned.

“I’ll maintain the alert among the enforcers, but I’d recommend retrieving Tzu,” Abaddon replied as I reached the deck and formed my wings.

“I’ll get him,” I promised as I took off. I landed in front of Ponyville’s only bakery a couple minutes later to screams of terror, “What?”

“It’s going to eat me!” Roseluck screamed as she fled.

“Jeff, what’s going on?” I asked.

“You landed in Ponyville, alone, near Roseluck,” the leviathan replied.

“And they already found a bunch of pitchforks and torches, at least they’re efficient,” I groaned, cradling my head in my right hand in disappointment.

“I knew you were no good!”

“Ponyville is for ponies!”

“Remember Roseluck!”

“I don’t know why I’m yelling!”

“Are you done?” I asked calmly, “I have places to be, so fuck off.”

“We’ll fuck you off monster!” one of them yelled.

“That means something completely different. As entertaining as this is, Roseluck is unharmed and being dramatic. Besides, what are you going to do to me? Poke at me with pointy sticks and yell? I’m not a stray dog that wandered into town,” I pointed out.

“What’re y’all idjits doin now, hmm? Makin a big ol fuss over nutin, looks like. Y’all git outta here fer Ah find ya mommas,” a rickety voice demanded angrily.

“But Granny Smith, this monster attacked Roseluck,” the same pony argued. I decided to lean against the nearby bakery wall and watch the show.

“Attacked nothin, Ah’ve seen that ditz scream over a worm in her garden. Ah been right here the whole time, this fella ain’t done nothin wrong,” Granny Smith insisted.

“But Granny-”

“But nothin, go on git,” Granny Smith ordered forcefully. The small mob reluctantly disbanded, with one of them pausing long enough to spit on my foot before leaving, “Sorry about them, they git ta thinkin one way and ain’t nothin gettin through their skulls after that.”

“It’s fine, they aren’t the first and they won’t be the last. I didn’t expect it here, though,” I replied.

“So that’s how ya done it. Ya been that Jekyll fella all these years, hidin right in front of my nose. Don’t try ta deny it, Ah hear more than Ah see these days,” Granny Smith accused, a smirk spreading across her face.

“Maybe, but I have people waiting on me. You need anything from the Cakes? It’s on me,” I offered.

“Heh heh heh, you always were a slippery sort. Couldn’t get a straight answer before, can’t now,” Granny Smith laughed as she walked away.

“There goes your disguise,” Luna commented from behind me.

“The mob draw you out?” I guessed.

“Yep, pulled me away from a nice conversation about sugar to bread ratios too,” Luna replied.

“Sounds absolutely riveting,” I deadpanned.

“Meh, I’ve had worse. But I needed to swap the sun and moon anyway, so it was already over,” Luna pointed out.

“On that subject, we need to talk about where to have Cat sleep. Lily doesn’t mind sharing a room but would prefer her own, I said I’d talk to you about moving Cat in with us for a couple days until Abaddon’s growth is finished,” I stated.

“I admit, waking up next to both of you was rather pleasant this morning, but I’m hesitant to continue the trend,” Luna responded after a moment.

“It’s up to you. If you don’t want Cat in our room, I’ll let Lily know,” I pressed.

“I don’t want to disregard Lily’s preferences, but I’m also uncomfortable with inviting another person into our bed. It feels like cheating, somehow. Could I borrow a bit? Maybe fate can give me an answer,” Luna requested.

“Chelly side is heads, because her’s is so big. Heads, Cat keeps her room and gets a roommate, tails, she gets to use yours as a blanket,” I said as I flicked the coin into the air.

“We both know she’d do more than that,” Luna argued as the coin landed in my palm.

“Heads. Sorry Lily, looks like you have to share,” I announced.

“You don’t sound disappointed, I would’ve thought the idea of Cat being there all the time would appeal to you,” Luna wondered aloud.

“Cat and I have the same goal, helping you figure yourself out, but she’s more aggressive about it than I would like,” I replied.

“But isn’t she the best candidate for the job?” Luna asked.

“Undoubtedly,” I agreed.

“Then what’s the problem with her methods?” Luna pressed.

“Cat was hurt, more than either of us can imagine, for a long time, but she can’t stay hurt. She remembers just fine and that can bring it back, but she’s not a victim unless someone dredges it up. At her core, Catrix is the same as every other member of her species, she’s a toy for the lonely and the depraved. She’ll say that sex is a goal that can be defined, but she could pick any number of things. It’s who she is, and that’s the real reason why she keeps bringing it up. I’d take you hunting until you could comfortably kill a squirrel or something, just hadn’t thought of it until now,” I explained.

“But she says she doesn’t care about the end result, as long as I see you as an equal and obtainable,” Luna parroted.

“Obtainable? She used that word? Luna, people aren’t objects to be collected. This is what I’m talking about; Cat says she wants you and I to be on equal terms, but she’ll never be able to follow that advice herself. Because she is an object, in her mind anyway,” I continued.

“But she cares, I can see it,” Luna insisted, looking away.

“I know she does, and I’ve been trying to help her since I figured out how she thinks. As far as I can tell, it’s as deeply ingrained in her species as eating grass is to yours or shapeshifting to mine,” I replied sadly.

“It’s so sad,” Luna commented.

“It is,” I agreed, “Where is she now?”

“Carousel Boutique, getting some more dresses made,” Luna replied.

“She got you to leave her alone with a pony? Shit, I should’ve seen this coming. We gotta go,” I shouted in alarm, immediately turning to run for the dress shop.

“What? Why? What’ll happen?” Luna asked as she ran after me.

“Rarity propositioned Cat, right? And then Cat took her away for a bit and she was fine when she came back, right? Well, that time will get shorter and shorter until Rarity dies of a heart attack,” I warned.

“She’s dangerous! Why didn’t you tell me?” Luna asked in panic.

“She knows. Damnit, she knows how to keep it from escalating,” I responded as I slid to a stop in front of the store and threw the door open.

“Oh my, you must be desperate for a dress dear. That or I shudder to think of what passes for manners where you come from,” Rarity admonished, looking perfectly healthy.

“Sorry about the door, it’ll fix itself. Where’s Cat?” I asked.

“So demanding. If you must know, she’s trying on her new ensemble at the moment,” Rarity answered tersely, her ear flicking in annoyance.

“I see, and how many times have you needed to measure her?” I pressed.

“Only once, I am a professional. Now unless you have an order to place, I must ask you to-” Rarity attempted.

“Stuff it, I own this building and the ground it sits on,” I snapped, cutting her off.

“Jay, there’s no need to be rude,” Luna chided as she walked in, pausing to catch her breath from the sprint over.

“I’m inclined to agree, I know the pony I’m renting from and it isn’t you,” Rarity argued.

“Brisk Whistle died almost a thousand years ago when Celestia had him and ten thousand others attack a peaceful nation, he only exists now as one of my aliases,” I spat as my head shifted to match the appearance of the long dead earth pony, causing Rarity to freeze.

“Half the town rents from him,” Rarity commented in horror.

“The other half rents from me too. This is my town, it was founded because of me, it has survived because of me, and it will thrive because of me,” I replied, returning my head back to normal as I spoke.

“Jay, you’re sounding evil again,” Luna admonished.

“Yes, my fiendish plot to keep rent low and profits high while maintaining a rustic charm that’ll keep the snobbish types away. Muahahaha,” I said sarcastically.

“It is surprisingly affordable,” Rarity reluctantly agreed, “But I don’t have to like you.”

“You aren’t supposed to like your landlord, just point me towards where Cat is,” I demanded.

“You’d interrupt a lady when she’s changing?” Rarity accused.

“Cat isn’t a lady, a lady doesn’t offer herself up to a stranger when they first meet,” I shot back, causing Rarity to freeze again.

“How do you know about that? Are you spying on me?” Rarity hissed when she recovered.

“No, I just know Cat and the effect she has on others. Honestly I’m surprised you can stand, she’s killed her share of partners over the years; thought you’d be one of them,” I replied kindly.

“Back room, there’s a closet I’ve had converted into a changing room. You can’t miss it,” Rarity sighed, defeated. I found the converted closet easily enough, and an amused Catrix inside.

“How close was she to dying?” I asked, my anger starting to show on my face.

“Twenty minutes of lucidity per round, it’s been pretty constant. I’d say another six hours before she broke, much longer than I would’ve been here,” Catrix confessed.

“So you thought you’d have some fun with her because you’d be gone before you left any permanent injuries,” I accused.

“Well I’m not getting anything from you, am I, even dear Abby was just a fleeting tryst. I need a release Jay, I’m going crazy,” Catrix argued.

“And living vicariously through Luna is taking too long,” I noted.

“Yes,” Catrix admitted.

“I’ll find you something, even if I have to lock a live hyda in that room. Just do me a favor and don’t kill anyone or hurt Luna,” I said.

“Deal,” Catrix agreed.

“Great. Get your shit and come on, you’re going back to Abaddon to sort things out with your new roommate. Shit, that’s not going to work now. Fuck,” I swore, angrily walking away.

“Jay, are you okay?” Luna asked when I walked back into the main room.

“No, Cat’s being more demon-y than usual and Lily won’t be able to stay with her,” I complained.

“I don’t understand, what do you mean by that?” Luna asked.

“Last time she was like this, she tried to force herself on me. Tried to tackle me and everything,” I elaborated.

“She tells it a different way,” Luna commented.

“I’m sure she does,” I agreed.

“What should I do?” Luna asked.

“Take Cat back to Abaddon and have her wait in her room. You should also tell Abaddon to make another bed in ours for Lily,” I ordered.

“What will you be doing?” Luna continued.

“Killing as many birds with as few stones as possible,” I replied, walking out the door.


Perspective Change: Luna


“What will killing birds accomplish?” I wondered aloud.

“It means getting several things done at once,” Catrix whispered into my ear, causing me to jump.

“Cat, are you alright?” I asked nervously.

“How does the whole alicorn thing work Luna? Do you get the benefits of all the races, like earth pony endurance? I could show you what it means to kill multiple birds with one stone,” Catrix offered as she closed in on me, causing me to back into the wall. 

“Cat, I don’t know what happened to you, but this isn’t the Catrix I know,” I declared.

“Sure I am, I’m just more...awake right now,” Catrix purred as she pushed me against the wall and moved to kiss me.

“Sorry Cat, I’m not into mares,” I replied, lighting my horn to hold her in place.

“You don’t have to be afraid, I won’t hurt you,” Catrix  promised.

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid for you,” I corrected before teleporting both of us directly into Catrix’s room, “Abby, Jay says to keep Cat in her room.”

“Understood, ma’am,” Abaddon replied, extending tendrils to pull Catrix away from me.

“Only wrists and ankles? A real guard would have restraints around my body too,” the thing with Catrix’s face taunted as I backed out of the room.

“Luna, what’s going on?” Lily asked from the hallway, looking concerned.

“I can’t say I know,” I confessed.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Hey Cup, I need Tzu,” I stated as I walked into the bakery, it wasn’t a question.

“He’s with Pinkie,” Mrs Cake replied.

“Damnit Cup, lives are at risk! I need my tactician!” I shouted, causing the baker to jump in fright.

“Upstairs,” she answered shakily.

“Tzu!” I roared, rattling the entire building.

“Sir?” Tzu replied, at my side before I had finished calling for him.

“Unknown enemy encroaching from the west and Catrix has decided to lose her mind, but Abaddon will have her confined by now. Right now I need a report on your current mission,” I ordered.

“No luck yet sir,” Tzu responded sadly.

“Pinkie’s list?” I pressed.

“Nearly spent, only one idea left. It’s-” Tzu began hesitantly.

“I know what it is, she’s getting desperate,” I interrupted.

“Yes, sir,” Tzu confirmed.

“Birds and stones, birds and stones. Tzu, I’m transferring you to Catrix’s command until either dismissed or Abaddon informs you that it’s dawn. Jeff, I’m giving you three thousand Gammas and twice that in Romeos to handle this threat. Get to it, move!” I ordered, nearly throwing Tzu out the door in my frustration.

“Mister Jekyll! I don’t appe-”

“Another word and your rent doubles,” I threatened, “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to keep your stupid asses alive.”

Mrs Cake settled for glaring at me as I stormed out of her bakery and flew back to Abaddon, noting the advance of the unknown force by the shaking trees, “Sir, Tzu has returned but he doesn’t look happy.”

“His previous mission was a failure, this is his last attempt before I hold him down and check him over for a chemical imbalance. Also I gave him to Cat for the night,” I explained, causing Abaddon to shudder in sympathy.

“Mistress Luna and Miss Lily are also distressed over Miss Catrix’s change in demeanor,” Abaddon continued as I watched the slow progress of the mysterious foe I had trusted Jeffrey to handle.

“I’ll deal with them in a moment, right now I want you watching the trees. If they break through the enforcers I assigned to Jeff, bring the hammer down on them. And let me know when they clear the trees,” I ordered.

“What should I do about Miss Fluttershy? Her cabin is dangerously close to the forest,” Abaddon asked.

“Send a Mike to let her know what’s going on and ten squads of Gammas after it gets back with her response,” I clarified.

“Understood,” Abaddon replied. A thought struck me as I turned to walk back to Luna and Lily.

“Abaddon, have the enforcers been taught how to form ranged weapons?” I asked.

“They have, the Gammas seem to view them with disdain though,” Abaddon replied.

“And the Romeos?” I continued.

“Are currently competing over who can form the most weapons and fire them the fastest,” Abaddon answered.

“Spooks?”

“Marksmanship.”

“Perfect. I want them scouting in the forest, get me intel on our opponent,” I ordered as I reached the door to Luna’s and my room.

“Understood, they’re leaving now,” Abaddon replied as the door opened.

“Jay, thank goodness. What’s wrong with Cat?” Luna and Lily asked at once.

“Did you two coordinate that? Whatever. Cat does this occasionally when she gets her hands on someone and doesn’t get to act. It started after the fist time I offed a bunch of demons, she’d start getting aggressive whenever someone denies her some pleasure or another. She got a better hold of herself after I slit her throat when she attacked a foal over a pair of earrings, granted I’d accidentally dropped her at the feet of the incubus that’d owned her before. She just needs some ‘action’ to get her thinking straight again,” I explained.

“Didn’t she get enough out of Abaddon and Miss Rarity?” Luna asked, shocked.

“She’s not a pony, it takes her longer than twenty seconds to get off. I tossed Tzu at her to fix the issue, he’s one of the comparatively few creatures on this planet that can safely help her right now. Plus it was the last option Pinkie could think of for him to have fun, and she’s not like that,” I replied.

“I got the same impression, she’s more of the party type,” Lily agreed.

“Eww,” Luna complained.

“Pinkie’s a virgin and proud of it. Lily’s talking about normal parties,” I corrected.

“Oh, okay then. But if that’s handled, why do you still look angry?” Luna asked.

“There’s something new coming at us. It’s moving slow, but that means it’s either really big and hard to kill or an army and hard to kill. The enforcers are mobilizing and Jeff is no slouch but I want to be there to keep casualties to a minimum. It’s times like this that I miss Dirge, he’d have some dumb cooking anecdote to ruin the tension,” I groused.

“I’m coming too,” Luna insisted, summoning her weapons.

“Get some armor. I don’t care if it’s the same shit Nightmare Moon wore, you’re not going out there unprotected,” I ordered.

“What can I do?” Lily offered.

“Stay here, the first order of battle is to minimize the number of noncombatants on the field,” I replied.

“Could Cat help?” Lily asked.

“Yes, but she’s out for at least four hours,” I replied.

“Not if Tzu’s anything like you,” Lily argued, “Let me in there, he’ll flounder and take forever without instructions.”

“It’s your hide on the line,” I warned, waving toward the door. Lily sprinted out and slid into a turn toward Catrix’s door.

“Was that wise?” Luna asked as she passed me, allowing me to fall in next to her.

“She may be the most well mannered, but she’s still Lucky’s daughter,” I responded, distracted by memories of battle lines and formations long passed.

“Jay?” Luna asked, looking concerned at my seeming inattention.

“Minos, six A.N. A peasant revolt, we were contracted to put it down. It was like this, they were coming through the forest. But it was south, and uphill. The high ground helped the defenses hold,” I noted.

“We have the low ground this time, but better fighters,” Luna encouraged.

“We don’t know that, we don’t know anything yet,” I countered.

“Then let’s get down there and find out,” Luna suggested.

“After you get some armor,” I insisted.

“Where do you think I’m going? The Bravos have a workshop directly below our room,” Luna replied, drawing my attention to the fact that we were walking down a staircase as we spoke.

“You don’t have any armor already?” I asked.

“It was shattered when the Elements of Harmony hit me. A shame, despite its infamy, I liked that armor,” Luna explained.

“Get the Bravos to reforge it, I assume the pieces are still in the old castle?” I guessed.

“They should be, if you don’t mind me bringing some enforcers with me when I retrieve them,” Luna requested.

“Go ahead,” I allowed.

“Thank you, in the meantime I’ll have to deal with whatever the Bravos can make,” Luna reasoned.

“Prepare to be amazed,” I warned.

“Why?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they built a living suit of armor that enhanced your strength and speed to ridiculous levels while also acting as a capacitor to boost your magic power,” I prophesied.

“Don’t be ridiculous, magic is way too complicated to do that,” Luna rebuked.


Twenty Minutes Later


“I don’t like it,” Luna complained from somewhere within her twelve foot tall armored shell.

“Why not?” I asked. We’d had to move into the staging area to deploy Luna effectively.

“It makes me feel bigger than I am, I shouldn’t be able to feel the texture of the floor,” Luna explained, “And now it’s gone, armor shouldn’t listen to me!”

“It’s alive, remember,” I responded.

“I know, but I also know that there are tendrils going into my eyes to let me see. I’m fighting a panic attack over that by the way,” Luna added.

“This is the break in period, it’s for you to get comfortable and adjust anything you don’t like. Afterwards you can have the helmet peel back,” I advised.

“Again, I know. This isn’t armor, it’s a weapon. Weapons are supposed to be fine instruments bound to the instincts and training of the wielder, not this cudgel you call armor,” Luna continued.

“A cudgel is a weapon,” I pointed out.

“Shut up or I’ll step on you,” Luna threatened.

“Hey, did you remember to lower the sun?” I asked, realizing it had still been dusk when I had arrived.

“Fuck,” Luna swore, “Abby, I need to see the sky.”

“Dropping in three,” Abaddon warned.

“Three what? Woah!” Luna exclaimed as the floor dropped out from under us and allowed us to fall over a hundred feet into the grass below.

“How do you feel about that armor now?” I asked with a smirk.

“It needs wings,” Luna complained as she forcibly freed her legs from where they had embedded in the ground.

“Too heavy and it would require an invasive connection,” I replied.

“I understand I still weigh less than you in this armor,” Luna countered.

“Invasive connection,” I repeated, “It would have to sever the connection to your wings and connect to the nerves for you to control them.”

“I recall you doing something similar before, to my brain,” Luna pointed out.

“It would still hurt the first few times,” I argued.

“I teleported into fire earlier today, I can take a little pain,” Luna insisted.

“I’ll have them make the revision for next time,” I promised.

“Thank you. Now, to the task at hand,” Luna stated, armored plated shifting and sliding as she looked up to monitor her progress. The sun and moon switched places with an audible roar from the horn on Luna’s helmet and a speed akin to the flipping of a lightswitch.

“Interesting,” I commented.

“Armor, I need to see my eyes... That’s what I thought, I’m overcharging constantly and more intensely than ever before. I’d like to revise my opinion, this is excellent battle armor,” Luna noted.

“How so?” I asked curiously.

“My eyes have stars and galaxies in them, they’ve never done that before,” Lina replied.

“Like how your mane used to look?” I confirmed.

“More than that,” Luna corrected.

“Fancy, try to teleport us onto the deck,” I ordered, figuring it would make a decent test. Instead of transporting us to our destination, Luna’s spell opened a portal to it in front of her that remained for a moment after she ended her spell.

“Interesting, was demon magic involved in the capacitor system?” Luna asked.

“It’s all we have,” I replied.

“Then I am left unable to teleport, however I have another option,” Luna noted before we were both lifted by a crushing telekinetic aura, arriving at our intended destination shortly after.

“Two seconds to move us three hundred feet, impressive. But don’t do that to a pony, they’d be crushed,” I commented.

“Noted. We do we do now?” Luna asked.

“We wait for them to spring the trap, whether the spooks get back with my intel or not,” I replied.

“The Nightmare was always attacking, I’ve never fought defensively before. Is the waiting as bad as I’ve heard?” Luna continued.

“Worse,” I replied.

“Sir, the spooks have returned. They say the enemy has stopped for the night,” Abaddon reported.

“Shit, just inside the tree line too. At least we don’t sleep, they can’t catch us unprepared,” I mused.

“They also have a description of the force: large spiderlike creatures,” Abaddon continued.

“Damn, then the one Tzu dealt with earlier was a scout,” I reasoned.

“I assume he killed it?” Luna guessed.

“Without issue, but bugs swarm and a hive that large could number in the millions. Where the fuck did they come from?” I asked.

“Where did what now?” Discord asked from the doorway into Abaddon’s internal structure.

“Giant spider things, lots of them, came out of nowhere. Any ideas?” I clarified.

“Underground, probably disturbed by something heavy walking around. They don’t have a name, but they used to be a pretty big problem in untamed areas. This was all before I took over, of course,” Discord explained.

“What do they want?” I continued.

“Same as everything else, food and safety. This town will make a decent snack if they can push past the threat,” Discord replied.

“Anything else you’d care to share?” I pressed.

“They die easy enough, but they reproduce faster. There was an old joke when I was small, swing your ax at the first one and there will be another three born and raised before it hits the ground,” Discord warned, “But that’s all I really remember.”

“All that and no name?” I pressed.

“I’ve only heard them referred to as Them,” Discord insisted.

“Sounds like a bad joke to me. Anyway, thanks for the help, always better to know your enemy,” I replied gratefully.

“Jay, there are other towns nearby,” Luna pointed out.

“I know, as soon as we have a clear line of travel for this bunch, I’m going for the nest with Cataclysm. If they want something to eat, I’ll feed them rippers till they burst,” I responded.

“I hate this kind of chaos, too much destruction, too few smiles,” Discord complained.

“You could always rewrite them out of existence,” I suggested.

“It’s more complicated than that, I’m sorry,” Discord apologized.

“It’s fine, just have to settle this the old school way. My favorite,” I replied, flexing my claws for emphasis.

“Who’s the giant?” Discord asked gesturing toward Luna’s armored form.

“You gonna introduce yourself?” I asked, poking the side of the suit and receiving a long snore in response, “It’s Luna.”

“Nice digs Lulu. You don’t do anything halfway, do you?” Discord laughed.

“Nope. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing,” I replied.

“Wise words, I should heed them. Listen, about Catrix, I chickened out,” Discord admitted, changing the subject.

“I know, and you missed your best chance. If you went to her room an hour ago, she wouldn’t have let you speak,” I informed him.

“That’s not really what I’m after. Well, eventually, sure, but not just that. I’m a relationship kinda draconequus, call me a romantic if you want,” Discord explained.

“And a lust demon seems like girlfriend material to you?” I laughed, moving to sit on the edge of the deck. Discord joined me a moment later and sighed.

“I don’t know, but she’s single and I don’t know anyone else,” Discord whined.

“Then go out there and meet people, you idiot. Cat’s not someone you want as a girlfriend and definitely not as a wife, she’d cheat on you every day. Look, after this mess is settled, start hanging out with Luna and I more, come with us to Ponyville, and for the love of chaos talk to someone other than me,” I advised.

“Sorry, I’ve always been a bit of a loner,” Discord apologized.

“Says the most boisterous person I’ve ever met,” I countered.

“Well sure, but I never actually get to know anyone. It’s a harmless prank or two and then I move on to the next pony or whatever once I get a smile,” Discord responded.

“Something else on your mind? You’ve been awfully serious lately,” I asked.

“It’s our fight, that whole night really, everything went wrong and all I accomplished was reinforcing everyone’s opinion of me,” Discord confessed.

“We all make mistakes, at least these can be mended with time and effort. I’ve been living in the shadows for centuries and I never really accomplished anything, it wasn’t until Luna stirred the pot that I started caring about my reputation,” I responded.

“Killing Belial isn’t accomplishing anything? That’s a pretty big something, even by my standards,” Discord praised.

“How do you know about that?” I asked.

“I read ahead,” Discord replied with a shrug.

“Nope, not going to think about that one. New subject, uh, pools. Abaddon’s getting an indoor pool,” I stumbled, trying to escape the logic gap before I ended up with a migraine.

“Indoors, eh? That’s smart, no leaves to clean out,” Discord commented.

“That’s what I said,” I agreed.

“But wouldn’t your house, butler, war machine combo do that for you? And aren’t we too high up for debris to get in there anyway?” Discord pointed out.

“Not too high for bird shit. But you’re right, the real reason is to keep prying eyes off Luna,” I admitted.

“Is she warming your cold heart, hmm?” Discord teased.

“Certainly trying. But who are you to talk about our relationship, mister I-think-a-demon-girlfriend-is-a-good-idea,” I shot back.

“Fair enough,” Discord conceded with a short laugh.

“I don’t suppose you could fix that, could you?” I asked.

“What, your lifeless heart? Who says I haven’t already? Would you even know?” Discord countered.

“I think I’d know, I have a fairly good grasp on my mind,” I pointed out.

“By your perception, sure, but not necessarily by mine,” Discord continued cryptically.

“You think I can hide things from myself?” I guessed.

“I know you can, you just can’t perceive how you do it,” Discord replied.

“I remember when I first figured out how to mold my body, I couldn’t even think about it beforehand. You might be on to something,” I relented.

“Well, I’ve had my fun playing with your mind. I’m going to bed, see you around Jekyll,” Discord stated, rising to leave.

“Hey, Discord,” I called when he reached the door, “It’s Jay.”


Perspective Change: Luna


“Thanks for coming over Luna, I just needed someone to talk to,” Twilight greeted gratefully as I walked into the library.

“Anytime Twilight, what’s on your mind?” I asked, gesturing towards the couch.

“There’s just a lot going on right now,” Twilight replied, moving to sit on the referenced furniture. I noticed she left enough space for me to join her.

“You know you can talk to me, Twilight,” I encouraged as I sat next to my student and laid a wing across her shoulders.

“I’m so excited, but I’m more afraid. You know they accepted the trade agreement I proposed last month, and the gryphons promised a nice reward for whoever set it up. And you know Green and I...well, we’re supposed to be getting engaged as soon as we have the bits,” Twilight began.

“All things to be proud of, for sure. If you keep going like this, I’ll be your student before long,” I praised, lifting Twilight’s chin with my hoof and noticing a slim silver band around my ankle.

“That’s the thing, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t go on adventures or settle arguments between Celestia and some other world leader or make any more major breakthroughs in arcane theory. I just can’t, I’m sorry,” Twilight apologized as the started to cry.

“But you love all of those things, why do you have to stop?” I asked, pulling Twilight into a gentle hug with my wing.

“I have a bigger responsibility now,” Twilight explained, pushing me away with one hoof while she held her stomach with the other.

“You mean…” I trailed off.

“A filly, I was thinking of naming her ‘Eclipse,’” Twilight confessed.

“This is wonderful news,” I squeed, lifting Twilight and spinning around in joy.

“But why am I scared?” Twilight asked when I returned her to her hooves, slightly unsteady from the rapid movement.

“Twilight listen to me, there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re my student and my friend, all the armies of Equestria and Tartarus stand between you and anything that would have the folly to wish you ill. All the physicians in the world are here for you and your foal. And all your friends, myself included, are thrilled for you. This is a joyous time, but it’s natural to be afraid. Just know that we’re all here for you,” I said as I pulled Twilight in for another hug, closing my eyes to bask in the moment.

“I hope you’re right,” Twilight replied.

When I opened my eyes, we were no longer in the library. I stood in a barren field of bones and ash, with small brush fires all around, “Twilight, were are we? Did you teleport us?”

When Twilight didn’t respond, I lifted her away to see what was wrong and screamed at the sight. In my hooves rested the partially eaten remains of Twilight’s corpse. Whatever had killed her had taken her rear legs and tail completely off and torn the rest of her open, leaving her organs exposed to the world like a butchered animal. I broke down and cried when I dropped her and a, still twitching, fetus fell out of her body.

“Oh Twilight, what happened to you?” I sobbed before my stupor was broken by something slimy touching my leg, her foal was still alive and crawling towards me, “Eclipse. You’re still alive? You’re a strong little filly, let’s get you out of here.”

With a new purpose, I gently lifted the newborn foal onto my back and started looking for anyone who could help us.

“No escape,” a voice whispered, carried on the wind.

“Who’s there? Please, I need help!” I called back.

“No escape,” the voice repeated.

“Please, I have a foal that needs help,” I begged.

“Since when did you care about foals?” a different voice demanded from behind me, a voice I knew, my voice.

“Who are you!?” I screamed as I spun around.

“You know who I am.” From my left this time.

“Tell me!”

“Boo,” the voice whispered into my right ear. It took everything I had not to fall over in shock, for fear of crushing the foal on my back. As I stumbled away, I finally saw who had been tormenting me.

“Jay, you scared me,” I sighed in relief.

“Good, you should be afraid,” Jekyll laughed cruelly, causing me to take a second look at him. All the red spots and lines that ran across his body were now glowing teal and his left hand was hidden behind his back as he leaned forward to sneer at me.

“Nightmare,” I noted angrily, “Let him go.”

“That would imply that your insanity could control this body, I’m afraid that’s just not possible,” the thing that was controlling my husband lied, hopefully.

“Jay isn’t cruel like you Nightmare, he wouldn’t talk like that,” I insisted, clinging to the hope that Jekyll could fight her off.

“Wanna know a secret? I’m not your Nightmare, I’m the Horror. I’m the other side of your weak little hubby, I’m the one who gets things done, I’m the one that’s hungry,” the Horror snarled as he lifted his left hand to reveal a newborn foal, causing me to panic as I realized Eclipse wasn’t on my back anymore.

“Let her go,” I demanded, charging The Horror with as much force as I could muster. It flowed around my attack like black and teal water and laughed at my attempt.

“Is that the best you can do? Jekyll was a fool for ever keeping you around, a mistake I aim to correct. But not yet, your tears are much too tasty for me to end this already. I’ll have to settle for an appetizer,” the Horror mused, sending me into a panic as Eclipse was raised to its mouth.

“Don’t you dare hurt her!” I demanded, overcharging as I launched a pressure wave into its arm to no effect. Eclipse received a long lick across the top of her head as The Horror grinned evilly.

“So weak, always so weak,” the Horror taunted, dodging my next charge effortlessly.

“You can have me, just let Eclipse go,” I begged.

“But you aren’t crying anymore. You just need some encouragement,” the Horror said excitedly before biting into Eclipses neck and viciously tearing her head off like a piece of taffy, allowing her tiny spine to dangle from its mouth as it chewed.

“NOOOO!” I wailed, dropping to my knees and sobbing into the ashes. Eclipse’s tiny body landed inches from where my tears were pooling, causing them to mix with her blood and run towards my hooves.

“Now you’re ready to-” The Horror began before something odd happened, its mouth stopped matching his words. Its face said ‘die’ but I heard, “Yo Lu wake up, time to do your thing with the sun and moon.”

“Jay?” I asked groggily, the nightmare still vivid in my memory.

“What’s up? Woah, you look like boiled shit,” Jekyll commented as I looked him over for any teal coloring.

“You mentioned evolving before, could you evolve me? I never want to sleep again,” I sobbed as I jumped into his arms, barely noticing that my armor was gone.

“Another nightmare?” Jekyll guessed as he held me comfortingly.

“The worst one yet. You were like the Nightmare and you ate Twilight’s foal,” I explained, continuing to cry into his chest.

“Damn, I’d be rattled by that too. Wait, Twilight’s pregnant?” Jekyll replied soothingly before becoming confused, absently running one of his hands through my mane while I cried.

“Please evolve me, I can’t see that again,” I begged, ignoring his question.

“You don’t mean that, you wouldn’t be a pony anymore.”

“I don’t care, as long as I never have to look at the Horror again,” I insisted.

“Look, I get where you’re terrified right now, but that isn’t the answer,” Jekyll argued.

“Why won’t you help me?!” I screamed, beating my hooves on his shoulders as I wept openly.

“Because I don’t know if you’ll survive. I can’t lose you like that, especially not over a nightmare,” Jekyll explained, causing me to pause.

“It called you weak, do I make you weak?” I asked.

“You make me stronger, now I have something real to live and fight for instead of just sitting around waiting for my old life to come back. You give me a purpose, and that’s better than any armor or weapon or treasure,” Jekyll replied, holding me close as I calmed down.

“You have a nightmare about him turning evil and eating foals, and your first instinct is to run into his arms? You are one interesting mare,” Catrix commented, cluing me in to the fact that we weren’t alone; Lily and Tzu were also watching in concern.

“Shut up Cat,” Jekyll and I ordered in unison.
> Chapter 17: ...And Fight Like Hell
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Are you okay? You can sit this one out if you need to,” I offered.

“No. I can’t stand aside while my ponies are in danger,” Luna declared shakily.

“Alright, let’s get you brought up to speed. Abaddon sent your guards to evacuate the other towns, so Ponyville should be their only target. To that end, Jeff’s set up three defensive lines along the front. They’ll hit the Gammas first, then have to cross the short wall the Romeos have built, then have to survive whatever Jeff throws at them to get at any of the townsponies. The Romeos under his command are on range duty, while we can move to wherever we want,” I explained.

“What about Abby, where will he fit in?” Luna asked, finding her resolve as the tone of the conversation shifted.

“Abaddon and the rest of the enforcers are on standby, they’ll engage if the current defenses are overwhelmed,” I replied.

“But Ponyville hasn’t been evacuated? You’re using them as bait?” Luna pressed.

“I am,” I admitted, “But Jeff can pull them into himself if he has to, they’ll be fine. Besides, the whole town is a deathtrap for them, they won’t get two steps beyond the wall.”

“As much as I don’t like it, we will need to pull them to us. Okay, where do you want me?” Luna asked.

“Up to you, burn them from the wall with the Romeos or stomp the shit out of them next to some Gammas. I’ll have to stay here for the first act, I need to watch their movements. Once their reinforcement lines are clear, I’ll be following them back. It’ll be up to you and Jeff to hold the line until I can destroy their nest,” I continued.

“Cat?”

“I’m your stopgap, put me wherever the defenses need a break and I’ll torch whatever gets too close,” Catrix replied, removing and folding her dress in preparation.

“I understand, when do we start?” Luna asked, looking around for her armor and finding it peeled open on the floor behind her.

“When you swap the sun and moon. As far as we can tell, they don’t handle the dark very well,” Lily explained.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Luna declared, lighting her horn. As the sun slowly rose past the horizon, it cast a baleful red light across the land. A fitting sight, as far as dawns go.

“Get ready, it won’t be long,” I warned. Luna nodded before stepping into her armor, which only reached her ankles in its peeled state, and allowing it to wrap around her barrel, though the helmet remained retracted.

“They’re awake,” Catrix noted, having moved to the edge of the deck to watch the trees.

“It reminds me of bees, all angry over their hive getting shaken,” Lily commented.

“If Discord’s theory is correct, that’s exactly what’s going on. He hinted that Abaddon walking around is what woke them up,” I responded, joining them on the edge while Luna took a moment to get readjusted to wearing her armor.

“Too bad for them, they don’t stand a chance,” Catrix commented.

“The locals don’t know that, they must be terrified,” Lily rebutted, bringing up a good point.

“I’ll keep them calm and defended,” Luna offered as she stomped over to the rest of us.

“We all know what we need to do, let’s get to it,” I stated, prompting Luna to teleport herself and Catrix onto the field while Tzu, Lily, and I remained on Abaddon.

“Lily, I changed my mind, I want you down there with the locals. You being here limits Abaddon’s movements too much,” I ordered.

“There goes my good view,” Lily complained before teleporting away as well.

“Sir, now that we’re alone…” Tzu began nervously.

“Report,” I ordered.

“A chemical imbalance has been ruled out,” Tzu replied, instantly reverting to his usual personality.

“And?” I prompted.

“I was wondering if I would be required to…” Tzu attempted before trailing off, unable to figure out how to phrase his question.

“You want to make it a permanent thing?” I asked, assuming that was where he was going.

“If necessary, sir,” Tzu replied, causing me to sigh.

“Tzu you’re an adult, you don’t need to ask for my permission over every little thing. If you and Cat both want to continue your affair, then go ahead,” I allowed, silencing the enforcer and letting me focus on the shadows in the trees that were edging into visual range.

“So will it be necessary?” Tzu pressed, shattering my concentration.

“Holy shit, figure it out for yourself,” I snapped, attempting to relocate the shapes I had been watching.

“Visual confirmation on the spiders,” Abaddon relayed.

“Not yet,” I said to myself.

“They will enter the field in six seconds on my mark...mark,” Abaddon continued.

“Just a little longer...NOW!” I hissed quietly as the Romeos assigned to Jeffrey began pouring spines into the edge of the forest. Twenty-four thousand cannons firing three spines a second swept across the spiders’ front ranks, resulting in several thousand enemy casualties with the opening volley alone, “They don’t go down from a single hit, they’re tougher than I expected.”

“Easy enough in close combat,” Tzu noted.

“And the Gammas are just waiting for them to get in range,” I replied, watching the line of charging spiders move towards the wall even as they were torn apart by the amount of firepower crashing into them.

“The line is shrinking, they’re not attacking near the edges. It’s a push!” Tzu realized with a shout. Sure enough, a veritable wave of spiders charged in to assist their fellows in assaulting the wall, only to run into the Gammas first.

“They made it to the wall, color me impressed,” I noted, watching a spider attempt to scale the wall only to be pulled back down and dismembered by a nearby Gamma. More of them were making it to the wall however, and the Romeos shifted their fire to thinning out their reinforcements.

“Sir?” Abaddon asked, fidgeting slightly in anticipation.

“Wait,” I ordered as a spider reached the top of the wall and met it’s end at the claws of the Romeo between it and the town.

“My cannons are loaded, my tendrils stand ready, my aim is true, my legs are strong, I am a weapon of war, I yearn to take my place in this battle, and I will not fail,” Abaddon promised. A few seconds later a spider managed to slip past the Gammas and Romeos to reach the town side of the wall, only to be speared and crushed by one of Jeffrey’s tendrils before it could touch the ground, 

”That’s our cue, fire everything,” I ordered, my voice conversational in tone and volume. Abaddon, on the other hand, attempted to out-roar his cannons as he joined the fight, expending his magazines of Gammas in less than a minute and moving them out of the way for him to charge into their ranks. The deck earned it’s name, twisting and listing dangerously as Abaddon kicked, bit, stomped, and slashed at everything around him while the other enforcer divisions hemorrhaged from under his scales and through the open floored staging area.

“Shall I go as well?” Tzu asked from my side while we watched the growing chaos.

“No, you just keep looking for any indication of where they’re coming from,” I ordered.


Perspective Change: Catrix


I was never meant for this, I was meant to warm beds and comfort the fleeting souls of this world. But the line between pleasure and pain is a thin one, and I was far from helpless.

“Leave him alone!” I hissed as I tackled a spider off one of the enforcers and slashed its abdomen open with my claws.

“I’m fine, focus on the big groups,” the enforcer shouted as he was buried in spiders.

“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice in a near shout as I clawed furiously at the spiders attacking the enforcer.

“Leave me,” The enforcer managed haltingly, having to reform his neck several times as the spiders bit and tore at him.

“Don’t you die on me,” I ordered, backing away from the scene and finding a group to charge. These spiders were awful, they smelled, my claws ached from hacking them apart, and they didn’t even have the decency to be distracted by me. Didn’t they have any idea what was running around in front of them? Even Jekyll looked twice the first time. Dumb drones, not having any reproductive urges.

“You know, that gives me an idea,” I thought out loud as a swarm noticed my attacks. Remembering the suicidal tendencies of moths, I lit myself on fire. Most people think that it’s difficult or requires some kind of training, but to me it was no different than twitching my finger. As I had hoped, spiders began charging into my flames and melting where they died. Unfortunately this left me in a cage of melted corpses very quickly, ending my effectiveness until an enforcer could break me out.

“Fuck,” I swore, sitting down to bide my time until I could rejoin the battle, “Stupid spiders. Even if you weren’t crispy, you don’t have anything for me to play with while I wait.”


Perspective Change: Luna


“Don’t worry little ones, everything is under control,” I said uselessly. Most of the fillies in the schoolhouse were still cowering while the colts and remaining fillies had forgotten their fears to fawn over my armor.

“Hey Princess, do ya think ya could beat my big brother in a hoof wrestle in this thing?” the yellow filly, who I had come to know as Applebloom, asked.

“For sure, but it would be more fair if I wasn’t wearing it,” I replied patiently.

“But where are your wings?” An orange filly, Scootaloo, continued.

“Trapped inside, though not uncomfortably,” I answered, hoping to keep them distracted from what was happening outside until their parents arrived.

“Then you can’t fly?” Scootaloo pressed.

“Not right now, no. But the next version of this armor will have wings,” I explained. Things continued like this for the next hour; the children would ask me all sorts of odd questions and I would answer them as well as I could, our only interruptions being the occasional set of parents that would rush in to save their child from certain death and make a daring getaway to the safety of their homes. Eventually it was just Scootaloo and I, “Why haven’t your parents come for you?”

“Probably because they don’t care. Haven’t seen them in years anyway, not like they’re going to show up now,” the filly spat, her mood souring instantly.

“This is no time for anypony to be alone, you shall reside with me during this crisis,” I declared, lying down to allow the small pegasus to climb onto my back. Memories of my nightmare resurfaced briefly before I suppressed them, it was only a dream.

“I can look after myself,” Scootaloo argued indignantly.

“I do not doubt that, but this is a very real threat and I must ensure the safety of all the ponies in this town. Climb on my back so we can make sure nopony is in trouble,” I insisted. Scootaloo grumbled but did as I asked, allowing me to leave the schoolhouse and start working on getting everypony somewhere more defensible.

“Why are you sending everypony to the town hall?” Scootaloo asked after the second house.

“Because it has the thickest walls and doors, as well as a shelter on the lower floors,” I lied, though I suspected Jeffrey would make it a fact.

“What’ll happen when we’re all inside,” Scootaloo continued.

“I shall wait by the door and destroy anything that threatens to hurt you or your friends,” I stated, my voice finding a determination I didn’t feel.


Perspective Change: Catrix


“About fucking time, I’ve been here for-oh,” I attempted before noticing that it was a spider tearing open my cage. With a slash at its thin neck, it was dead and I was free.

“Miss Catrix! Fall back!” An enforcer shouted from the wall. The enforcers were all around, funneling the spiders right though the area were I was stranding.

“Fuck,” I swore again as I was thrown to the ground. When I regained consciousness, I was lying on an all too familiar silk bedspread in an all too familiar room with all too familiar obsidian walls, “Double fuck.”

“Hey Cat.”

“Hey Harry.”


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Catrix went down pretty hard, think she survived?” Tzu asked idly, his attention more focused on tracing the path of the spiders.

“She’s gone, the one that knocked her down took a chunk out of her neck too,” I replied, having had a better angle at the time. I had taken to pacing as I watched the fight, constantly searching for any sign of where they were coming from.

“Another twenty minutes at most before we have a small enough force to start following back. On a related note, we’re starting to gain ground,” Tzu noted.

“Agreed, but I’d don’t want to drag this out. We’ve already had almost a dozen Gammas disappear under their swarms and not get back up,” I countered.

“To be fair, the ground elevation has risen roughly ten feet since the start of the conflict. The spiders are piled at least five deep everywhere, they may be feasting on the bodies to rebuild their strength,” Tzu proposed.

“Or in pieces, desperately trying to put themselves back together. Or torn apart and eaten, that’s a possibility too,” I pointed out.

“You believe these creatures could kill one of us?” Tzu asked in disbelief.

“Not by themselves, but you said yourself that there’s ten feet of corpses between the next wave and the ground. I don’t want to count how many spiders we’ve gone through already, much less try to fight them by myself,” I responded.

“But we eat their dead, we can heal whatever wounds they inflict,” Tzu argued.

“Only if you can keep up with how many are munching on you. Just as we would fight a large enemy by wearing it down to nothing, so can they take us out if we’re separated from the others,” I advised.

“Isn’t that your plan? Charge in and destroy the nest by yourself?” Tzu asked.

“I won’t be alone for long, I’ve got Cataclysm to bring in some reinforcements,” I replied, patting the sword that rested on my left hip.

“I still don’t like it,” Tzu complained.

“That’s why you’re going to find a way to back me up without disobeying my orders,” I prophesied.

“Are you going to tell me not to?” Tzu asked.

“I’m counting on it, I just want to see how you do it,” I replied, punching the enforcer’s shoulder lightly to accentuate my point.

“Will you also be resummoning Miss Catrix?” Tzu continued, his tone becoming more conversational.

“Discord said something last night, he mentioned that he might have restored my ability to love. He may have been pulling my leg for a laugh, but I’m starting to doubt that more and more. Are you developing feelings for Cat?” I posed.

“I’m not sure. I’ve found something I consider fun, and she is a prime candidate for the activity. Does that mean I love her?” Tzu asked.

“No. Damn, I thought I was onto something. I’ll resummon Cat in a second. Abaddon, I need a wall,” I stated, trying to cover as much as possible so I could continue monitoring the battle. Once Abaddon had formed the wall and leveled out, I opened a portal into Catrix’s room and allowed her to jump through before closing it.

“So, I lost,” Catrix explained pointlessly.

“I saw, but you fought well,” I praised, turning my attention back to the battle lines.

“Jay, they don’t handle fire very well,” Catrix advised.

“You heard her Abaddon, let’s turn up the heat. Load up some fire shots and standby for a target,” I ordered, gesturing for Tzu to find me a target.

“Best estimate is at two-five-zero, range zero-point-seven-five miles,” Tzu replied, guessing at a possible location for the nest. Abaddon’s first shot was a little south, but cleared enough of the forest for us to see the spiders’ movements.

“Keep firing, follow them back,” I ordered, causing Abaddon to reposition out of the enemy’s path and operate as an artillery platform.

“I have reached the limit of my firing range, I cannot raise my cannons high enough to lob the worms any further,” Abaddon declared a few minutes later, however he had accomplished the intended effect. The path to the nest was clearly visible from above, even if the nest itself wasn’t.

“Look out!” Catrix shouted as I prepared to take off, and the deck lurched violently less than a second later as Abaddon crashed into the ground.

“What the fuck was that?” I asked as I climbed back to my feet.

“My apologies sir, The enemy has managed to bind two of my legs together and pulled them out from under me. They set a trap, they’re smarter than they appear,” Abaddon apologized.

“How?” I pressed as a scuttling sound wade its way through the trees around where we had landed.

“The silk, I saw the silk,” Catrix gasped from where she hung on a tree branch going through her chest.

“Shit, twice in one day? Maybe I should’ve sent you with Luna,” I commented.

“Shut up and kill me already, I’d do it myself but I can’t feel my arms,” Catrix demanded, smiling as I severed her head with a tendril.

“Where’s Tzu?” I asked, expecting the enforcer to reply.

“I think I landed on him,” Abaddon replied.

“So get up,” I ordered.

“I’m sorry sir, too many of my legs are bound. The enemy is attempting to chew through my armor as we speak,” Abaddon explained.

“Damn you Murphy, Okay, pull Tzu through your hide while I start clearing off the spiders, send him my way when he’s free,” I amended, jumping over the leviathan to see how many I’d be dealing with. Abaddon’s underside was covered in spiders, all attempting to tear off his scales or chew through the large plates that covered his feet. 

“Well shit, this is going to take a while,” I complained as I formed my claws and blades. I met the first rank in an explosion of viscera and severed limbs, and the second didn’t fare any better. Unlike my enforcers, I didn’t focus on any of my opponents for longer than the millisecond necessary to see that they existed, the result of lifetimes of training and dozens of battles. I spun as I charged group after group, swarm after swarm, killing everything around me in a tornado of razor sharp blades while also managing to deliver a fair number of cuts to the webbing that held Abaddon down.

Tzu joined me almost a minute later but was soon forced to take to the air as the spiders began to overwhelm him, opting to fire spines into them as he circled.

“Tzu! You’re fucking useless here, get the others to push this way!” I ordered, shouting over the sound of breaking carapaces.

“Yes sir,” Tzu acknowledged before flying away at high speed. I turned my attention back to the spiders around me and noted the growing number of pieces caught in the webbing around Abaddon’s legs.

“Sir, I can see the path they are taking. You have a clear line to the nest,” Abaddon observed.

“Great, I won’t have far to go once you’re free,” I replied.

“I am expendable, go on without me,” Abaddon ordered.

“Did you hit your head? I’m the one who gives the orders around here,” I mocked as I consumed a line of, still living, spiders for the easy calories, they hadn’t managed to touch me yet.

“Sir, you can make another leviathan, you don’t need me,” Abaddon insisted.

“Are you afraid they’ll beat me?” I accused, “Don’t you know who I am?”

“You’re-” Abaddon began.

“Shut up and tear this webbing,” I snapped, gesturing dramatically with one of my blades and allowing the spider impaled on it to slide off as I paused.

“Sir!” Tzu called in the distance, letting me know he was on his way. Expanding my lungs out of my back; I roared my response, killing all of the spiders around me from the pressure alone and disorientating the rest for a few seconds. I had all the time in the world to cut Abaddon free in that time, though he only lifted his legs out of the way and fired both of his cannons into the swarm. 

“I don’t like spiders anymore,” Abaddon announced, adjusting his aim and firing again.

“Sir, where do you need us?” Tzu asked as he arrived with the rest of my army.

“How’s the town?” I countered.

“Jeff’s enforcers are still guarding it, but we’ve pushed the enemy to this point. It seems that they’ve shifted their attack onto you,” Tzu explained as several squads of Gammas moved up and engaged the next wave. Tzu was right, they were definitely targeting me.

“Good, that makes this easier,” I replied as Abaddon finally returned to his feet and scanned the area. Fires were burning everywhere, long craters pockmarked the ground where Abaddon had fired his cannons into the spiders, and the ground was soaked in green blood, the the Everfree Forest had become a warzone and it wasn’t even noon yet.

“Get some!” Abaddon roared as he furiously fired into the area where the spiders had been coming from, advancing as he went to blast a path back to their nest.

“He’s pissed,” Tzu noted.

“Thanks, I really didn’t realize that,” I replied sarcastically as I set off after my leviathan. 

“Uh oh,” Abaddon said as his cannons stopped firing, their magazines spent.

“Abaddon?” I asked as his head turned to face me, he looked scared.

“I need time to grow more worms,” Abaddon replied as a spider crawled onto his face, “I’m sorry.”

He was gone, pulled into some crevice or cave the rest of us couldn’t see through the trees, ”Get moving, he must’ve been near the nest.”

“Yes sir,” the enforcers chorused as they charged towards where Abaddon had been standing, shouldering aside trees and tearing apart spiders with no loss of speed. 

“Sir, you should see this,” one of the enforcers near the front called as the rest moved into a defensive position.

“What do you see?” I asked as I walked towards the enforcer with Tzu by my side.

“Abaddon wasn’t near the nest, he was on top of it,” the enforcer corrected, waving towards the massive hole in the ground in front of him where a still fighting Abaddon could still be seen.

“Gammas and Romeos, surround this hole and fuck up anything that crawls out. The rest of you latch onto Abaddon and pull his dumb ass out of there before he gets himself eaten,” I ordered loudly so all of the enforcers could hear.

“You aren’t going in there, are you?” Tzu asked, looking at the writhing mass of spiders in the hole.

“Nah, there must be millions or billions of them in there. I’ll just grab a big ass rock and cause an incursion, way easier,” I replied, finding a decent sized boulder nearby that would work perfectly.

“You are the apex?” a voice hissed.

“Sounds like me,” I replied noncommittally, looking around for the source as I walked toward my chosen block of sandstone.

“You are the one that kills my children. You are the one that seeks to kill me,” the voice accused.

“Do you have a point to make or are you just trying to annoy me?” I countered as I started carving away the surface of the boulder to flatten it enough to open a portal.

“Why?” the voice asked.

“For threatening my town, for killing my friend twice, for being spiders, take your pick,” I replied.

“We must eat or we will die. Your kind disturbed us, woke us from the long sleep. Now you kill us, are all of you so cruel?” the voice continued.

“We didn’t know that Abaddon walking around would wake you up, the rest is just a reaction. It’s nothing personal,” I explained, drawing my sword to open the portal.

“We were not awoken by simple walking, our crypt was violated by prying claws of black and red,” the voice argued, causing me to pause.

“You’re lying, he couldn’t know where you were. You’ve been forgotten by the world,” I countered.

“And yet we were found, we were awoken,” the voice shot back.

“Let’s say I believe you, why shouldn’t I kill you anyway?” I asked, receiving no answer, “That’s what I thought.”

“Wait! We will leave, we will build a new nest, we will build a new crypt, we will never see you again,” the voice offered.

“Said the spider to the fly,” I replied mockingly. Abaddon shot me an apologetic look as he was carried away by the enforcers, spiders still clinging to the stumps of his severed legs as a set of Bravos engaged them.

“You have your giant, you have your prey, let us go, you lose nothing,” the voice pleaded.

“I guess I wasn’t clear enough, I don’t believe a word you say,” I clarified.

“Then we will die, but you will join us, a true kavik death, the voice threatened.

“Ah hell,” I swore as the entire mass of spiders surged towards me, “Fall back!”

“You have made us an enemy, apex. Running will not save you, I claim your death, I come for you myself,” the voice hissed.

“Retreat to the town, get back to the wall,” I ordered, cursing myself for bothering to talk to the spiders at all. I’d missed my chance, now we were all in danger again.

“Sir, what happened?” Tzu asked as he rushed back to my side among the other retreating enforcers.

“I fucked up,” I admitted as we ran from the billions of spiders clamoring over each other for a chance at us.

“What’s the plan?” Tzu continued.

“Lift the dart, we’ve got a lost puppy,” I replied, speaking in code to keep the spiders from figuring out my intention.

“Ten-four,” Tzu said, peeling off and ‘accidentally’ bumping into another enforcer as they ran.


Perspective Change: Luna


“Are you sure we’ll be safe in here Princess?”

“Miss Roseluck, is there a reason my answer would have changed in the last twenty seconds?” I countered, fighting to keep my frustration out of my voice.

“Yeah, just look at this awesome armor and try to tell me you don’t feel safe,” Scootaloo added from her seat on my back.

“It makes me nervous, actually,” Roseluck replied, causing me to sigh.

“Rose-can I call you Rose?- Rose, please go sit with Miss Fluttershy. I’m sure she has some advice for staying calm during times like these,” I requested.

“B-But there’s a monster over there,” Roseluck argued fearfully.

“The manticore? She calls it ‘Manny,’ I’m sure you’ll get along fine,” I insisted, levitating the terrified mare away from me.

“Next on the list of complaints is...Diamond Tiara wanting a turn to ride on your back,” Scootaloo read from a list she had compiled while I was dealing with Roseluck.

“Denied. Next?” 

“Her father repeating the same thing twenty-six times,” Scootaloo replied.

“Denied twenty-seven times. Next?” I continued. Diamond Tiara could sit on her father’s back for all I cared.

“Seventy-two counts of ‘I’m hungry,’” Scootaloo listed.

“That one should be easy. Jeff, we need food if we’re going to be here for much longer,” I told the empty air in front of me, receiving a feast in the center of the room in response.

“Plants are easy to get ahold of,” Jeffrey said from the wall before disappearing.

“Next?” I continued.

“Silver Spoon wants to ride on your back,” Scootaloo replied. I sighed loudly in response, “Denied, got it. We had a few ‘tired’s’ but they fell asleep already, so that just leaves the six accusations of he or she is touching me.”

“You are grown mares and stallions! If you can’t keep your hooves to yourselves, you are more than welcome to wait outside with the spiders!” I threatened, my composure breaking over that last set of complaints.

“We’ll be good,” sompony replied meekly.

“Grand, any other complaints?” I asked the room, “I’ll take that as a ‘no.’”

“Nice,” Scootaloo praised.

“Please tell me that’s the end of the list,” I groaned.

“Just one unofficial note from me, can I be your real secretary?” Scootaloo asked.

“I already have several, I never needed them before today though,” I replied.

“Oh, okay then,” Scootaloo said sadly.

“However you have done an excellent job, I’ll see if I can find some place to fit you in my entourage,” I added quickly.

“What’s an ant-your-age?” Scootaloo asked.

“Entourage, they’re the ponies that help me organize things and keep everything moving smoothly,” I explained.

“Would that mean I’d have to leave my friends? I wouldn’t want to do that,” Scootaloo asked.

“Not if you were in charge of the Ponyville area, then you could stay with your friends and hang out with me whenever I was in town,” I countered, silently thanking Jekyll for helping me modernize my verbage.

“How’s the pay? I gotta make rent, you know,” Scootaloo continued.

“I think a modest sum can be arranged, along with a deal with your landlord,” I proposed.

“Any other perks?” Scootaloo pressed.

“I have access to an impressive investigative team, if you’re looking for your parents,” I offered.

“No. Deal’s off, I hate them,” Scootaloo declared, jumping off my back and storming away.

“Jeff, what happened to them?” I whispered once I was close enough to the wall to talk privately.

“They left, first the father, then the mother. They walked away from their lives rather than push through the hard times, I hate them too,” Jeffrey replied angrily.

“And Jay has been charging a filly her age rent?” I continued.

“I handle the day to day for Ponyville, she’s been paying one bit per month. She thinks she has to, even though Lord Jekyll wouldn’t evict her,” Jeffrey explained.

“This is shocking, I’ve never heard of anything like this before,” I commented.

“It’s uncommon, but not unheard of. The usual response that I’ve seen is pity for the little one and small favors to make her life a little easier,” Jeffrey replied.

“Unacceptable!” I exclaimed, putting a hole in the floor from my angry stomp and garnering the attention of the entire town.

“I agree, but I lack the capability to do anything about it,” Jeffrey responded apologetically.

“I do have the capability and the responsibility to fix this, I may be one conversation with-Jay?” I stumbled as the doors flew open and Jekyll rushed in.

“Apocalypse!” Jekyll shouted at Jeffrey while several enforcers tried to hold the door shut. Still, a single spider managed to get through and jumped at the townsponies.

“I think not,” I declared as I caught the creature in my telekinesis and crushed it against the wall.

“Apocalypse?” Jeffrey confirmed.

“Do it!” Jekyll ordered. Suddenly the floor began to rumble and I felt like I was being lowered.

“Citizenry secured,” Jeffrey stated robotically.

“Okay, now we can fight on my terms,” Jekyll declared excitedly, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“What is that supposed to mean? You barely have a dozen enforcers here, where are the others?” Luna hissed quietly, pulling me away from the townsponies.

“The others are scattered, they’re either fighting, hiding, or already dead,” I replied.

“Then why are you so happy?” Luna pressed.

“Because the utility divisions are repairing and rearming Abaddon and the queen is right outside,” I explained.

“So we’re stuck here until Abby rescues us? Jay, this isn’t good news,” Luna exclaimed, visibly fighting her rising panic.

“Relax, we’ll be fine in here now that Jeff’s gone apocalyptic,” I reassured her.

“Which might be helpful if I knew what that meant,” Luna pointed out.

“You felt us sink right? That’s to maximize the angle of deflection. This building entire is now covered in a six foot thick hardened shell designed to survive weapons you’ve never even heard of. At Abaddon’s signal, I’ll lead the charge to take out the queen,” I explained.

“What happened to the rippers?” Luna continued.

“Too many, just way too many spiders. You should’ve seen what they did to Abaddon,” I responded grimly.

“Is Cat still trapped out there? I saw her burn a bunch of them into a dome.”

“Dead, resummoned, dead again.”

“So it’s just us left, this isn’t looking good,” Luna noted.

“Not on the surface,” I teased, feeling a slight shudder through the floor. Abaddon was walking again.

“Jay, since we might die today, I want a filly,” Luna confessed, catching me off guard.

“Uh, even if I’d already done the gene manipulation to be remotely capable of that, there’s still an eleven month wait and a fifty-fifty chance of ending up with a colt. But as far as last requests go, I’ve heard worse,” I replied.

“A specific one, to adopt, young Scootaloo is all alone and it breaks my heart. She’s lived knowing her parents abandoned her, she shouldn’t die like that too,” Luna clarified.

“Scoots? You want to bring that hellion into our lives, with all the shit we go through all the time? Do you have any idea the kind of fallout that would have on the community and Equestria in general? Wait, scratch that last one. It’d be worth it just to hear Tiara have to call her Princess Scootaloo,” I reasoned.

“You assume we’ll survive,” Luna pointed out.

“Of course we will. Abaddon figured out all the flaws in his original design, he’s getting an upgrade to be immune to the spiders and a dedicated crew to keep him fighting,” I countered.

“I wish I had your confidence, I wish I had a lot of things right now,” Luna replied sadly, causing me to sigh and look around for eavesdroppers.

“Tell you what, it’s your decision. If you really think bringing a filly into the life we live is a good idea, then I’ll support you,” I relented, seeing Luna’s face light up.

“I’ll be right back,” Luna promised before trotting into the crowd. I adjusted my hearing to pick up their conversation as I moved back to the door to wait.

“Scootaloo, could we talk?” Luna requested.

“Going to give me some lecture about forgiveness? I’ve heard them all,” Scootaloo spat.

“No, I wanted to offer you something,” Luna replied, her voice reflecting her growing nervousness.

“Let me guess, you want to adopt me. Thanks but no thanks. I’m better off without parents, they only let you down,” Scootaloo responded, I could almost hear Luna’s hopes shattering from where I stood.

“If you change your mind, I… You’d pass up the chance to make Diamond Tiara call you a princess?” Luna tempted, remembering my own reasoning.

“Ponyfeathers, that’s a good point. Let me think about it for a while, I’m pretty used to taking care of myself,” Scootaloo requested.

“Of course, it’s a big decision,” Luna agreed, “You want to help me keep the peace?”

“Hay yeah!” Scootaloo replied eagerly.

“That was entertaining,” I commented quietly, receiving a slight nod from the enforcer next to me.

“I have a visual on-wow, I like what they did with Abaddon,” Jeff noted after several minutes.

“Get ready,” I ordered, readying myself for a hard fight as we waited.

“Is it time?” Luna asked as she hurried over, I noticed Scootaloo sitting comfortably in a small chair built into the back of Luna’s armor.

“Any second now,” I warned.

“Scootaloo, I need you to stay here,” Luna stated, levitating the small filly off her back.

“Are you gonna go kick some flank?” the filly asked excitedly.

“A great deal of flank,” Luna confirmed as her helmet moved into place and her voice reverberated from the excessive power it brought with it. The sound of thunder marked our time to attack and we tore through the door with a flurry of hooves and claws.

The world outside of the town hall no longer looked like Equestria, Abaddon’s cannons thundered as he charged in the distance and Jeffrey’s tendrils thrashed around us as we met the first rank of the spiders. Blood flowed freely from thousands of spiders as more enforcers joined the fight, tearing through all enemies that got too close.

“What are we looking for?” Luna shouted over the crunching squelch of the spider she was stomping on.

“A bigger one probably, anything that looks different from the rest of them,” I called back, slightly distracted by the spider being crushed in my claws.

“I will have your life” the same voice from earlier promised.

“Was that psychic communication?” Luna wondered loudly, not stopping her rampage as she sent a lance of fire through a line of spiders.

“Don’t know, don’t care. It’s her, she’s here,” I replied simply, focusing more on thinning the number of spiders blocking our path.

“I shall be buried alive at this rate,” Luna complained as the piled corpses around her started to interfere with her movement.

“Walk on top of them,” I advised as I caught one that was going for the back of Luna’s neck and tore it in half. 

“You know nothing but death, I shall end your reign of terror myself, you will have no more of my children,” the voice declared. At once, the spiders retreated for the first time, leaving us in a clearing of their dead.

“I’m waiting,” I taunted as a cloud briefly passed overhead and drifted to a stop, a glance around confirmed that Abaddon had disappeared.

“You will not kill my children,” a chittering voice insisted as the largest spider I’d never wanted to see climbed out of the swarm and advanced, dragging an egg sack along behind it as it walked. Each of this creature’s legs was wider than two of my enforcers and its body was easily half the size of Abaddon.

“Tartarus hath no fury…” Luna trailed off as the queen spider rose to its full height, it’s black carapace gleaming in the sunlight.

“Stand by for titanfall,” I announced cryptically.

“What?” Luna and the spider queen asked at the same time. I just smiled a fang filled smile as Abaddon dropped out of the cloud and landed on the giant spider.

“ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT, BITCH” Abaddon roared as enforcers of all types appeared on his sides, firing wildly into the swarm as he stomped and slashed through the majority of the remaining spiders in the immediate area.

“You liar, you have no honor, you hide behind monsters,” the dying spider accused as it attempted to find its crushed egg sack.

“You’re just disappointed your own little monsters lost,” I countered, pushing the remains of the queen onto its side.

“No honor, child murderer,” the queen repeated as I searched for somewhere flat enough to open a portal, finding a single flattened section of carapace on the underside of the queen’s abdomen.

“And for all your honor, you were trying to eat civilians,” I rebuked as I drew Cataclysm and set the blade ablaze.

“Prey,” the queen insisted, oblivious to what I was doing.

“Just as you are my prey, how’s that for your logic? You wanna know the funny part? There’s a portal to Tartarus on you, you’re going to supply the demons that’ll end your entire hive,” I taunted before turning my attention to the rippers on the other side of the portal, “Wrath demons of Tartarus, your king commands you. Hear my orders and obey, the spiders are challenging my authority and must be made to pay for their crimes. Rip and tear.”

“NOOOOO!” the queen screeched as rippers flooded through the portal and collided with the swarm Abaddon was herding their way, trapping them between the claws of the rippers and his cannonfire.

“Did you want to watch? Hold on,” I offered, moving to turn the giant spider before Luna blocked my path.

“That’s enough Jay, she doesn’t need to suffer,” Luna declared, gripping the queen’s head in her telekinesis and crushing it to make her point.

“Were your places reversed, you wouldn’t have received that kindness,” I pointed out.

“I’m not a monster, even if they are. We have to be better than them,” Luna insisted.

“You keep telling yourself that, meanwhile I’ll be over here getting shit done,” I shot back, sending a tendril to bisect a fleeing spider as it passed.

“Does that require torturing them as they die!” Luna argued.

“Only when we’re being watched,” I countered.

“By who? The townsponies? Foals? I’ve known you to be many things but I never suspected I’d have to add cruel to the list!” Luna responded as she kicked another spider to pieces, her voice rising to a shout by the end.

“Dopple woke them up, the queen said as much when I found the hive,” I revealed quietly.

“How is that supposed to justify forcing a mother to watch her children die?” Luna raged.

“For the love of-FEAR. It’s to cause as much fear as possible to make future enemies cower instead of fighting. It saves lives Luna, even if it’s horrible at the time,” I reasoned.

“That’s why they called you the Horror,” Luna accused, making me wince, “Not for your abilities, for the cruelty you display on the battlefield. I never want to see this again. You can have this armor recycled, I won’t be wearing it again.”

“Lu,” I pleaded as Luna shed her armor and walked back to the town hall.

“Clean up this mess, I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight,” Luna ordered without looking back.

“You think that was too far?” I asked a nearby Gamma, who shrugged, “So fucking helpful.”

“Your highness, should the ponies be punished as well?” a ripped asked as it bounded up to me and kneeled.

“No, kill the spiders and go home,” I ordered.

“But that blue one just disrespected you, she must be destroyed before she can undermine you further,” the ripper insisted.

“That’s your queen, she gets a pass,” I replied.

“A pony queen? As you say, your highness,” the ripper acknowledged before rejoining the fight.

“Jeff, find Tzu and have him meet me here,” I ordered.

“He’s already on his way,” Jeff replied, sprouting from the ground and pointing at a growing shape the was heading my way.

“He knows me too well,” I mused.

“Sir, between Abaddon and the rippers, the last of the spiders will be destroyed in just a few more minutes,” Tzu reported once he landed, looking over the ruined town and paying extra attention to where I had created the portal.

“Any risk of him being tripped up again?”

“No, sir. We’ve added sharp angles around his feet and blades to hack through any webbing they attempt to use.”

“Excellent. Let’s get going, I want a better view of this shit show,” I said tiredly, spreading my wings as I spoke.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Mistress Luna?” Tzu asked.

“She’s not coming,” I responded as I took off. From the air it was much easier to get some scale for the devastation on the ground. The area around the town, once so vibrant and alive, was now a mottled mix of black and sickly green, Ponyville itself laid in ruins. The only building still standing was the town hall, and even that sat at an odd angle from Jeffrey’s rush to let us out. Abaddon’s legs gave some depth to the scene, as he sank to the tops of his foot mounted armor plates into the bodies as he walked.

“Sir?” Tzu asked as we landed, sensing my mood.

“Get the Bravos to work, I want this biomatter collected as soon as possible. Use it to replenish our ranks and make some more leviathans like Abaddon, they’ll protect our guys while they finish walling in the cities,” I ordered.

“I’ll relay the order, but I think we should talk about what’s going on with Mistress Luna,” Tzu insisted.


Perspective Change: Luna


“Of course Luna, but I’ll have to figure out somewhere else for Fluttershy to spend the night,” Twilight replied.

“Wait, I’ll find somewhere else,” I responded, wondering who else I could ask.

“Doesn’t look too good, having to couch surf right after offering your home to me. Makes me wonder what kind of home you have,” Scootaloo said teasingly from between my forehooves.

“When did you get there?” I asked, surprised by the filly appearing so suddenly.

“A few seconds ago while you were staring off into space,” Scootaloo replied, snickering at some unheard joke.

“What’s so funny?”

“Space, moon, night sky,” the filly prompted, elbowing my leg gently.

“I fairly weak joke,” I deadpanned.

“It’s a pun, they’re always that bad. I have a spare room if you want it,” Scootaloo offered.

“You do?” I confirmed.

“Well, yeah, it was theirs. I’ve only been in there a couple times,” Scootaloo replied easily, “It’s probably a little dusty.”

“Thank you, would you mind showing me where you live?” I requested, suppressing my feelings of embarrassment.

“Sure it’s this way,” Scootaloo replied, leading me towards the doors of the town hall, “It’s no castle, but it’s home.”

“I haven’t lived in the castle for some time, never liked it really,” I replied.

“You don’t? But then where do you live?” Scootaloo asked, confused.

“There,” I answered, pointing at Abaddon with a wing.

“Uh Princess, that’s a monster, not a house,” Scootaloo pointed out fearlessly.

“Abby’s not a monster, he’s just big. There’s a whole building in there, and Abby acts sort of like a butler for everypony,” I argued in defense of my friend. ‘Is Abaddon my friend?’

“A butler? What, does it turn itself inside out to fetch you some water?” Scootaloo pressed.

“Only if you ask nicely,” I joked.

“So you live in a giant scary monster, that’s actually pretty cool. I mean, it’s not Rainbow Dash levels of cool, but it’s not too far behind,” Scootaloo praised.

“Thank you?” I replied, unsure how to take the complement.

“So what do princesses do when they live in giant monsters?” Scootaloo continued, more to make conversation as we walked through the remains of the town.

“I mostly spend my time with my friends, they’re good people,” I replied, wondering whether I was lying or not.

“People?”

“There’s only one other pony that lives there, and she’s only there temporarily. The rest are Jay-Jekyll, his army, and a demon named Cat,” I clarified, “Oh, and Discord, but I rarely see him.”

“You get into a fight with your friend?” Scootaloo guessed, “I got into an argument with Bloom a while back, I called her by her full name too.”

“Yes, Jekyll and I had a disagreement over his treatment of the spider queen,” I confessed, stopping as I questioned why I was telling a filly this.

“That?” Scootaloo asked, pointing at the crushed remains.

“Yes, he didn’t need to humiliate it as it died. It was cruel,” I explained.

“Enough to justify losing him as a friend?” Scootaloo asked sagely.

“Are you sure you’re a filly?” I posed.

“Yeah, I’ve just been taking care of myself for years, you grow up quick when you have to,” Scootaloo replied.

“I suppose. The answer is no, it’s not worth losing a friend. I’m not sure I can anyway, too much of my life revolves around that creature these days,” I mused.

“Then why are you following me home?” Scootaloo pressed.

“It seemed right at the time and I don’t want to go crawling back,” I confessed.

“Hmm, too bad, you’re standing where my bed used to be,” Scootaloo rebutted, drawing my attention to the splintered remains of a wooden floor and bed frame that I was standing on.

“Come along Scootaloo, I’ll see if I can find you a bed for the night,” I sighed, realizing her questions had been leading towards asking to reverse our situation. I suspected I’d need to talk to Jekyll about housing the entire town until it was repaired.

“Okay,” Scootaloo agreed, hopping onto a broken beam and rebounding onto my back.

“You seem to be taking this rather well,” I noted as I teleported us onto Abaddon’s deck.

“It’s not the first time I’ve lost everything. I’m more crushed than my house, but crying won’t help me pick up the pieces,” Scootaloo replied, sounding dead.

“I have a friend I think you should speak to, but first we need to find Jekyll,” I declared.

“Currently attached to your tail, that was closer than I’d like,” Jekyll said from behind us. My attempts to spin around revealed that I had teleported in so close to him that my tail was fused with his leg.

“Ouch, how do you fix something like this?” Scootaloo asked sympathetically. 

“You cut it off,” I whimpered. I wouldn’t have minded if it was just hair, but there was skin and bones involved.

“Just hold still,” Jekyll ordered, causing me to yelp as he grabbed my tail. Slowly, it began to come free of its prison and we were separated in just over a minute.

“Thanks. Uh, could I ask a favor?” I requested.

“Only if you let me apologize first. You were right, I didn’t need to treat the spider like that. I’m not that person anymore, the world doesn’t need the Horror. I promise not to be like that anymore,” Jekyll apologized.

“And I’ll do my best to keep you on track,” I promised, “But we have a problem, a town full of recently homeless ponies.”

“Jeff’s ready to start repairs as soon as the bodies are cleaned up, and the Bravos are replenishing the ranks as we speak. It shouldn’t take more than a couple days, a week at the most,” Jekyll responded, looking around at the destruction as he spoke.

“But where will they sleep? Can Abby house them all?” I proposed.

“Abaddon, do a headcount and figure up the space requirements,” Jekyll ordered.

“Four to a room, minus the ones already reserved,” Abaddon replied.

“Boom, problem solved,” Jekyll declared.

“This thing does whatever you say? That’s so cool,” Scootaloo gushed.

“I try to be helpful to everyone, whether they are my lord or his guests,” Abaddon replied, fully forming a secondary head and torso to converse with the filly.

“So that’s how you do butler stuff,” Scootaloo reasoned, “Does the cool factor ever wear off?”

“Not on your life,” Jekyll bragged.

“Jay, could you get Cat? Dressed, preferably,” I requested.

“Sure I’ll pull your demonic therapist out of Tartarus again, for the second time. Today,” Jekyll agreed, complaints notwithstanding, “I’ll be back.”

“Where’s he going?” Scootaloo asked.

“Summoning a demon is dangerous, he won’t do it in front of us to keep us safe,” I explained.

“Dangerous, right. ‘Cause Harry was sooo mean,” Scootaloo mocked.

“What? How do you know that name?” I demanded, moving the filly in front of me with my telekinesis.

“Okay, okay. Sweetie found this old book in her parents’ basement and we thought we could get our cutie marks in summoning, well, Sweetie did anyway. I was promised something awesome. What we got was a portal to Harry, the most boring demon ever. He wouldn’t even get up from his desk, he just yelled at us for being irresponsible and made us close the portal,” Scootaloo explained.

“I think I should speak to him at some point, he seems surprisingly reasonable,” I commented.

“Rippers always are,” Jekyll stated as he returned to the deck, “They don’t have the concepts of greed or guile, they’re incapable of lying or taking more than their share.”

“That’s why they make such good soldiers, you can point them towards your enemy and not have to worry about them attacking your soldiers too,” Catrix added as she followed Jekyll onto the deck.

“But you said they’d destroy a town if summoned on accident,” I pointed out.

“When Belial was king, sure. But they wouldn’t go any further, they’d take what they were promised by their king and go home,” Catrix explained. An enforcer walked up to Jekyll and quietly said something that drew him into a conversation with a crowd of Bavos.

“Fascinating. Scootaloo, this is my friend Cat, I think you should talk to her,” I suggested.

“You think I’m crazy? I don’t need a head doctor,” Scootaloo argued.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not one, I’m just easy to talk to and I know a thing or two about people,” Catrix countered with an easy smile as she sat in front of Scootaloo.

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” Scootaloo asked dejectedly.

“It’s not a punishment, I’m really a fun person. Come on, I think they got the pool finished,” Catrix suggested, gesturing towards the door.

“Cat,” Jekyll stated casually before returning to his conversation, showing that he was still listening.

“I’m still a professional,” Catrix responded to his unspoken statement.

“Hold up, there’s a pool? You have a pool, like, a swimming pool? Here?” Scootaloo asked, looking conflicted.

“What’s the matter?” Catrix asked, leaning in slightly.

“You guys might be as cool as Rainbow,” Scootaloo replied, seeming surprised by her own admission.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far, she must be pretty awesome to have a fan as cool as you,” Catrix rebutted.

“Trying to get my guard down?” Scootaloo accused before smiling, “It worked, let’s go.”

“Have fun,” I called as Catrix raced the filly through the doorway, “Have I just made a horrible mistake?”

“Nah, she’ll behave. Wanna help me badger Tzu into making his own decisions?” Jekyll suggested.

“He can’t?” I asked in confusion, Tzu had always seemed capable to me.

“More like he won’t. He’s got a thing for Cat’s attitude but won’t pursue a relationship unless I tell him to,” Jekyll corrected, only increasing my confusion.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“And you won’t do that,” Luna reasoned after a moment.

“Right, which leaves us with teaching him how to do things on his own or getting Cat to tease him into insanity,” I finished.

“I suppose the former option would be the responsible decision. But what do you mean by her attitude? I didn’t think he cared about our personalities,” Luna asked.

“Well, you remember how I tossed him at Cat to bring her to her senses, and how I sent him on a mission to figure out how to have fun, that whole mess from yesterday?” I began.

“Yes, I recall,” Luna answered hesitantly.

“Yeah,” I concluded, nodding.

“Oh,” Luna commented, “Does he have feelings for her?”

“As much as he can, I think, though he’s very logical about it all,” I replied.

“Poor thing, finding the love of his life, his very soul mate, only to have her torn away before his very eyes on the same day,” Luna cried dramatically, giving up and laughing at the situation.

“That’s the spirit,” I encouraged before a sight in Ponyville ruined my mood, “Shit.”

“What now? Has a hydra decided to attack? No wait, that’s far to tame for today. The moon has fallen and is rolling towards us. Or maybe Dopple’s here with a hundred rogue leviathans, that would fit perfectly with how well today has gone,” Luna raved, refusing to look.

“They’re leaving the town hall,” I explained.

“Abby, could you take us a little closer and prepare their rooms?” Luna requested with a sigh.

“Have some Mikes ready in the staging area to escort them,” I added, sending Abaddon into motion.

“I’ll go inform them of their new living arrangements,” Luna groaned, rubbing tiredly at her eyes as she spoke.

“I’ll probably be checking on some things when you get back if you want to just go to the room,” I offered.

“Thank you, I suspect a nap would do me wonders. Do you intend to join me?” Luna asked.

“I don’t have any business there if you don’t want me around,” I responded, not wanting to push her in any way.

“Don’t take too long, I think you owe me a back massage and some company,” Luna ordered with a smirk before she teleported away.

“I take it this means I won’t be receiving any lessons on how to make choices?” Tzu inquired, having been ignored by the rest of us while he stood there the entire time.

“You made one when you chose to ask that stupid question, now apply that thinking to other shit. Lesson concluded,” I stated.

“But how do I-” Tzu attempted before Abaddon slapped him across the face with a tendril.

“Stop overthinking it. The rest of us know that we can do whatever we want, as long as it doesn’t disobey any orders. Have you been ordered not to see Miss Catrix?” Abaddon snapped.

“Well no, but-” Tzu attempted again, receiving another slap.

“Then why won’t you talk to her without being ordered to?” Abaddon asked, moving his secondary head into striking range of Tzu.

“Because I-” Tzu baited, catching the tendril and severing it before continuing, “I can make my own decisions, that’s not the fucking problem! I know her title and position, along with their meaning. Were my actions last night not under orders from Lord Jekyll, they would be considered treason by the other demons of Tartarus.”

“Did you look up Tartarus laws regarding concubines?” I asked, having only the vaguest idea what he was talking about.

“Yes sir, I familiarized myself with all laws when I became your proxy. The royal concubines belong solely to the royal family of Tartarus and exist only for their pleasure, the penalty for touching them  without express permission is punishable by imprisonment for no less than six thousand years in Ugroek the foul’s chambers,” Tzu quoted.

“It actually threatens them with Ugroek? That’s fuckin’ funny,” I commented, recalling the wide path my team had taken around the greater demon’s keep. We had to deal with more demons, but none of us were willing to brave the smell. Ugroek wasn’t a name, it was the sound you made if you got too close.

“Yes sir, I’d require permission to even fetch Miss Catrix a glass of water, in case her hand bumped mine,” Tzu continued.

“Did I ever tell you what happened to your father?” I wheezed.

“I’m aware of my lineage,” Tzu replied, ruining my joke.

“Then you know that as my offspring, you’re a prince of Tartarus and thus part of the royal family,” I pointed out.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Tzu confessed, dumbstruck by my simplistic argument.

“Just make sure you put your work first,” I warned.

“Of course. On that note, the Bravos are eager to hear your opinions on Abaddon’s new armament,” Tzu prompted, gesturing towards the two new top facing cannons that were still growing out of Abaddon’s back.

“Long range artillery, it’s something I should’ve thought of earlier. Projected range?” I asked.

“Beyond the horizon, if the Bravos are correct,” Abaddon replied, sounding excited by the idea.

"I like it, what’s next?” I continued, sparking a full rundown of the minor adjustments Abaddon was currently receiving before Tzu moved on to the latest breakthrough by the Sierras in how to make our weapons shoot faster before ending with a written complaint by Discord over not being warned about Abaddon’s aggressive movements earlier. By the time we finished, the locals were all loaded onboard and either trying to settle in or were wandering around curiously.

“Look daddy, there’s one growing out of the ground over there!” a colt cried, interrupting our conversation.

“I’m sorry sir, I’ll keep him quieter,” a stallion I didn’t recognize said fearfully as I looked over at their small group.

“No worries, we were just finishing up anyway. Feel free to make yourselves at home until we can get the town repaired,” I replied.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you helping us so much?” the stallion asked.

“Princess Luna is a personal friend of mine and I’ve loaned her my services in the defense of your fine nation, though none of us were expecting this,” I answered.

“I guess that makes some sense, but where does Jeff fit in?” the stallion continued, his interest having been peaked.

“Jay, I’m calling in that massage,” Luna whined as she walked onto the deck.

“Sorry, we’ll have to continue this later,” I apologized before following Luna back to our room.

“Why does everything go horribly around me?” Luna complained as she flopped onto the bed, resting her head on the blister that served as a pillow. I climbed in as well once she had situated herself comfortably, straddling her back but keeping my weight off of her.

“‘Cause we both have shitty luck,” I replied, gently working my fingers into her neck.

“Is that what you’d call it, bad luck?” Luna asked, flicking her ear in annoyance.

“Just until I have a face to blame it on, then I usually remove that face,” I answered, moving to unknot her shoulders.

“And eat it,” Luna added.

“That too,” I agreed as I shifted to work my way down her spine.

“Oooh, right there, that’s the spot,” Luna cooed.

“We should’ve done this a long time ago, your spine is a mess,” I declared, feeling more than a few vertebrae that were well on their way to herniating the cartilage between them.

“Too much touching, too intimate,” Luna reasoned, even as her legs went limp and sprawled across the bed.

“I assume Cat blackmailed you into this then?” I guessed.

“No, but I could barely move,” Luna explained.

“You decided to get me to massage you without any prompting or coercion? I’m proud of you, this is some real progress,” I praised, continuing my path down her back but avoiding the bases of her wings.

“You missed a spot,” Luna pointed out.

“You have a lot of feeling there, it can come off the wrong way,” I replied.

“Social implications or not, they’re cramped from being trapped in that armor all day,” Luna argued, slapping at me weakly with the tops of her wings.

“Say the word and I’ll stop,” I advised, gently laying my hands on the neglected area to gauge her reaction. Luna bit her lip but remained silent as I gently worked on the powerful muscles just under her skin. She let out a muffled cry when I stopped working on both sides evenly and shifted my attention to her right wing, ”You okay?”

“This might be too much,” Luna admitted, sounding flustered.

“It’s okay, I know enough about pegasi to know how sensitive their wings are,” I replied, returning to working on her back. Luna’s wings audibly snapped back to her sides the instant my fingers left them.

“It didn’t hurt, it just didn’t feel right. Am I making sense?” Luna elaborated.

“I understand, I’ll stick to your back,” I compromised.

“Cat would tell me to embrace it, wouldn’t she?” Luna asked, sounding conflicted.

“Yeah, she would. But she’s not here and this is one of the things I disagree with her about,” I replied.

“I shouldn’t be getting this stressed over a stupid massage,” Luna complained.

“Then don’t, just relax and let me realign your spine before you start rebuilding all those knots I’ve been working out,” I instructed.

“Which is what I’d do if I wasn’t grounded by wing cramps. I wasn’t exaggerating, I’ve been walking and teleporting so much that the armor you made me has rendered my wings useless. Do you see my problem?” Luna continued, exasperated.

“Can you move them?” I asked, trying to gauge the seriousness of Luna’s claim. Luna’s right wing shakily extended in response, “Did that hurt?”

“Nothing worth complaining about, but yes,” Luna answered.

“You know my capabilities, I leave the choice to you,” I offered.

“Fix them and then guard the door,” Luna instructed after a long moment.

“We’ll set some rules when I get to them, but I’m doing them last. Roll over,” I ordered, getting a confused look, “Legs.”

“Right, that would make sense,” Luna mumbled, shuffling to lay on her back.

“Ma’am, Miss Shy and Miss Sparkle are requesting an audience with you. They have four others with them as well,” Abaddon stated right as I started on Luna’s left foreleg.

“I’ve hit the point where I no longer care how they see me, send them in,” Luna replied, shooting me a glare when I attempted to remove my hands from her sore muscles.

“Hi Prin-You’re high-Lun-I give up, I’ve had a long day,” Twilight attempted as she led her friends into our room.

“I agree, though that should be rather obvious at this point,” Luna jibed, gesturing to the leg in my hands.

“Ah don’t mean ta assume, but were y’all in the middle of somethin’?” Applejack asked, keeping her eyes on the floor respectfully.

“If the rest of you would like massages as well, I’m sure it can be arranged,” Luna offered, putting up no resistance as I moved my attention to her other foreleg.

“Thank you darling, that would-” Rarity began.

“Hey, we didn’t come here to talk about dumb frilly stuff. Can I go home?” Rainbow interrupted.

“Did it blow away? No? Then yes, you can go home whenever you want,” I replied gruffly, more out of habit than anything else.

“Whatever, thanks I guess. See you later Best,” Rainbow said before catching herself, “Shoot, sorry Mister Jekyll.”

“No worries kid, take care of yourself,” I replied, completing our typical farewells.

“You making fun of me, huh? Let’s pick on the dumb pegasus who was friends with a traitor, it’ll be fun,” Rainbow accused angrily.

“Dash, just relax a second. He’s-” Applejack attempted.

“He’s a bully, that’s what he is,” Rainbow snapped, crouching aggressively.

“Dash, is it? The one you know as Best Defense is not a traitor to Equestria, the one we are looking for simply shares the same appearance,” Luna explained before the situation could escalate.

“Lu, you might want to stay out of this one, Dash can get violent pretty quickly,” I warned.

“What the hay is going on? How do you know that? Why do you talk like Best? Why do you sound like him?” Rainbow asked desperately.

“They’re the same person,” Fluttershy replied, though her statement was only heard by Rainbow, who she was standing next to, and myself.

“You? No. Nope. I didn’t hear that. Because that would mean that one of my best friends has been lying to my face for ten years and then decided to disappear and brand himself a traitor. But that’s not how friends treat each other, so it’s just impossible,” Rainbow reasoned.

“In my defense, I was living as Best since before your grandparents were born. The rest of it wasn’t intentional and I’m trying to fix it,” I placated.

“Not good enough,” Rainbow hissed.

“I had an assistant, he’d take my place whenever I had to go anywhere, and he’s the one we’re hunting. I’m sorry, but there’s a lot more going on right now and I haven’t had time to clear this up,” I continued.

“So you left me hanging,” Rainbow concluded, “You just ran off and abandoned us without even saying goodbye.”

“Sorry Twi, Ah’m with Rainbow on this one. Y’all didn’t know Best like we did,” Applejack responded at Twilight’s pleading look. Meanwhile, I had finished with Luna’s forelegs and had shuffled to the side to continue with my work.

“Your anger is justified, I should’ve at least let Shy tell you what was going on,” I admitted.

“Whatever, I don’t know if I can forgive this. I just wanna be alone right now, goodbye Jekyll,” Rainbow declared as she stomped out of the room.

“Could ya drop me off at the farm, it looks fine from here and I gotta get back ta work,” Applejack requested.

“Harvest season?” I guessed.

“Yep, a little early this year. Ah’d take the day off, but Mac’s sick and them apples ain’t gonna harvest themselves,” Applejack replied.

“Abaddon?”

“Understood,” Abaddon answered, gently lurching into motion as he turned towards the farm.

“Ah liked ya more as Best, none of this monster nonsense,” Applejack complained.

“You know, I did too. It was peaceful, if nothing else,” I agreed, shifting sides to finish this portion of Luna’s massage. Luna herself seemed content to stay out of our arguments.

“Where’m Ah gettin offa this thing?” Applejack asked.

“The same place you entered, an enforcer outside will lead you there,” I replied.

“Thanks. Yer turn Twi,” Applejack said as she departed.

“I was just wondering if my lessons were going to continue while I’m here,” Twilight stated.

“Yes, right here,” Luna replied, wincing as my fingers found a particularly sore spot near her hoof.

“Can my animal friends-” Fluttershy attempted.

“Yep, that’s why you got a room to yourself,” I interrupted.

“But I didn’t,” Fluttershy pointed out.

“You do now,” I corrected.

“Okay,” Fluttershy replied meekly.

“Rarity?” I asked.

“I’m just here for moral support darling,” Rarity replied.

“Pinkie?” I continued.

“Did Suzy ever find something fun?” Pinkie asked nervously.

“Don’t worry, he made another friend. One with looser morals,” I replied.

“Did he smile?”

“I have neither that information nor any desire to find out,” I responded.

“He did,” Catrix said, ducking her head in to speak before returning to the hallway.

“Abaddon, I thought you said the hallway was clear?” I asked.

“It was, but I allowed travel when the situation became more acceptable,” Abaddon replied.

“That seems fair,” Luna commented, stifling my retort.

“Luna, would you mind if we talked for a while? I have a lot of questions about what happened today,” Twilight requested, causing a few of Luna’s feathers to ruffle in irritation.

“You two go ahead, there’s a little post-battle ritual I’ve been putting off and should get to,” I suggested.

“Alright, but most of the answers will be that we don’t know yet. Not even Discord new much about these creatures,” Luna replied as I finished with her last leg and climbed off the bed.

“Have fun,” I said as I walked out of the room and made my way towards the deck.

“Hey Jay,” Lilly greeted as I walked onto the deck.

“Hey Lily...and Discord, I wasn’t expecting you two to get along,” I replied.

“We both like foals, so we’ve been working together to keep all the young ponies from panicking too much,” Lilly responded.

“Makes sense. Hey Discord, got a question for you. What’s kavik mean?” I asked.

“Where did you hear that?” Discord countered, surprised.

“The spider queen bitch said that if I tried to kill her, we’d die together. Called it a kavik death,” I elaborated.

“That’s-That was-my people’s name for ourselves. She must have been ancient to know about that,” Discord mused.

“Details?” I requested.

“Sorry, draconequui die in pairs. That’s why I’m still around, no one to die with. The two of you dying together would mirror us in a way,” Discord explained.

“Thanks for the info, and sorry if I brought up any painful memories,” I replied, walking past my friends to look out over the ruins.

“Going for a walk?” Lily guessed.

“Yeah. I’m going to take a look around, see if there’s anything worth eating,” I declared, walking right over the side and doing a front flip for style points before performing a solid two point landing.

“Sir, initial reports suggest that-” an enforcer attempted as it hurried over to where I was standing.

“Don’t care right now. I’ll come back in a few minutes, fill me in then,” I ordered.

“Yes, sir,” the enforcer replied, returning to its work.

As I walked through the streets, I occasionally paused to inspect the various piles of debris and corpses. I watched as Luna set the sun and raised the moon, noting the way the last rays of sunlight reflected off the dead carapaces in the street. As I wandered past the trampled remains of the library, a particular scent caught my attention and caused me to reach for my pistol. Finding its pouch empty, I was struck with an image of the small weapon lying forgotten in Canterlot Castle during the only time in living memory that I could forget anything. Between the loss of my newest weapon and the lack of backup, I decided to make an attempt at conversation while I gauged the situation. 

“Hello Dopple.”
> Chapter 18: Picking Up The Pieces
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A familiar winged shape separated from the pile of spider corpses in front of me, “Hey dad.”

“Little presumptuous, don’t you think?” I asked neutrally.

“Isn’t the whole point of rebelling to do whatever you want?” Dopple countered.

“That would have been a good point, but I get the impression that you’ve become a puppet in someone else’s game,” I pointed out, making no attempt to hide the fact that I was looking around for the other rogues I suspected were preparing to ambush me.

“Touche,” Dopple replied.

“So what’s your plan? Get some ancient evil to attack in force, then ambush me when I go wander the battlefield? You didn’t bring enough rogues to take me down,” I accused, dropping all pretenses.

“There’s no plan, I came alone.”

“Horseshit.”

“A line was crossed yesterday, I came to apologize,” Dopple confessed.

“So you did wake the spiders,” I noted, “Doesn’t change the fact that there are six rogues surrounding me. I told you, you didn’t bring enough.”

“Stand down. I told you to wait back at the rendezvous,” Dopple scolded, causing the shadowy figures to retreat.

“Having some problems with your army?” I asked with a smirk, “Oh wait, they aren’t yours.”

“Shut up,” Dopple snapped.

“No. Did you really think making an army out of disloyal enforcers was a good idea? Or that your new masters would give two shits about what you want?” I pressed, striding forward confidently.

“He lied, he said it was an artifact. He said it would be something that could break your hold over us permanently,” Dopple admitted.

“And you released the spiders, like an idiot. It happens, but that’s irrelevant. And pointless, I’ve met three enforcers that have had their control genes destroyed permanently, two of them are still in my employ,” I pointed out.

“What?” Dopple asked, surprised.

“I thought so. You’re getting just enough to keep you loyal, a higher dosage has a lasting effect,” I explained.

“How do you know all this? Why would you trust any of the Unbound?” Dopple questioned, losing his bearing for a moment before correcting himself, “I mean, please elaborate.”

“In order then. I’m smarter than you give me credit for, and a team of researchers doesn’t hurt either, they’re still loyal, unlike some people, and you’re the one who insisted on being all militaristic and professional, I don’t really care,” I rattled off, noting my points on my fingers as I spoke.

“But how did you get rid of the bombs?”

“What bombs?”

“There’s a bomb in my neck, loaded with the cure and enchanted to go off if I act against him,” Dopple replied.

“That sucks, the others were pretty recently turned. One was only a few minutes before I got there,” I responded unsympathetically. 

“And the other?” Dopple continued.

“A day or so,” I replied.

“Plenty of time,” Dopple warned.

“I’ll check it out, but doesn’t this count as acting against your master?” I countered.

“I wasn’t ordered not to talk to you, I’m sure it’ll be fixed when I return,” Dopple replied.

“Too bad about that, you’d be an apology away from being welcomed back to the enforcers,” I tempted.

“I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, but I appreciate the sentiment. I should get going, I just needed...I’m sorry for all this, Ponyville should’ve been neutral ground for us,” Dopple apologized.

“You and your lot get one more chance before I take away your right to die, this is the second line you’ve crossed. Having one of your goons maul Willow isn’t something I’ll forgive easily,” I threatened.

“That’s assuming you’ll win,” Dopple pointed out.

“I already have, I’m only missing one name to make it official. Who is your master Dopple? Give me a name,” I ordered, closing to within striking distance to glare down at my former proxy.

“The only name I’ve ever heard is Citadel. I know he’s a demon though, a greater. I’m sorry, I have to go,” Dopple said as he backed away.

“Fine, run back to your upstart demon bitch. But make sure you tell him that I won’t tolerate another attack on my town, I’ll eradicate all of the greaters if I have to,” I warned, turning away from Dopple to walk away.

“I didn’t think you’d actually let me leave,” Dopple mused.

“Neutral ground,” I responded, continuing to show my back as I walked. I heard wings flapping a moment later, signaling Dopple’s departure.

“Sir, would you like that report now?” the enforcer from before asked as I neared Abaddon.

“No, I have other things on my mind, just make sure they get to Tzu,” I ordered tiredly.

“Yes, sir.”

“And make contact with Abaddon every hour, I just had a conversation with Dopple,” I added, visibly rattling the enforcers.

“He’s here?” the enforcer asked.

“Yes, risk of exposure is dangerously high right now,” I continued.

“Understood sir, we’ll be careful,” the enforcer replied grimly.

“Good, I’m fucking tired so just send everything to Tzu until dawn,” I ordered before forming my wings and flying up to the deck.

“To use your words, you look like boiled shit,” Abaddon commented as I landed.

“Tuesdays,” I responded, walking past Abaddon’s secondary to get to the doorway.

“Dopple’s still in range if you’d like me to burn him out of the sky,” Abaddon offered, following me as I stalked down the hallway.

“Of course you saw,” I commented, more to myself, “Let him go this time. He put himself in danger to apologize, I’ll give him a pass for the sake of bravery. Wait, fuck that. Take one of his wings, he trashed my town.”

I felt more than heard one of Abaddon’s cannons firing, “Hit, he’s falling... He’s alive, limping though. Should I fire again?”

“Nah, debt’s paid. Feel free to burn him down if he comes back, no more warnings,” I ordered, pausing as I reached the door to my room.

“Understood,” Abaddon replied before firing several more times, “He looked back. Runs pretty well for having a broken leg.”

“It’s probably healed by now,” I commented, resting my head against the doorframe for a moment before knocking.

“Who is it?” Luna asked from the other side.

“How many people do you know that actually knock?” I countered.

“Come on in Jay,” Luna responded. Opening the door, I found Luna and Twilight on the bed with a number of burned and torn books.

“It’s paper, you can get new copies,” I pointed out before either of them could say anything.

“Some of these were-” Twilight attempted.

“None of those were unique, a small town library wouldn’t have the funding to stock unique texts,” I continued.

“But Princess Celestia said they were,” Twilight groused.

“Chelly’s damn near pathological, you can have copies from my library if you want. I guarantee there are rarer books,” I offered.

“Thanks Mister Jekyll, at least Smarty Pants is okay,” Twilight replied gratefully.

“You have a library too?” Luna asked, sounding as tired as I felt.

“Of course, I was smuggling books out of the kingdom when it was attacked. Stands to reason that I still have them, plus all the stuff your sister tried to censor. I’ve got a few of the more common ones too, just because they caught my eye,” I explained.

“Where have you hidden it all?” Twilight wondered.

“Jeff has it, last I heard he kept them under your library ‘cause he thought it was funny,” I replied, “Now scoot over, I’m claiming at least a third of the bed.”

“Another attempt at sleep? Already? Did something happen?” Luna asked as she and Twilight moved out of my way and allowed me to lay down.

“Dopple apologized for causing the attack, in person,” I groaned.

“Is he…” Luna trailed off.

“You killed a bunch of spiders a few hours ago and you won’t ask if I killed him? I let him go.”

“You let him go?” Twilight asked, incredulous, “You let him go after he destroyed my library and tried to kill all my friends?”

“Priorities, do you have them? I don’t care about pawns like him, I want the king,” I explained.

“And?” Luna pressed.

“I don’t have enough, and what I do have might just be lies and misdirection. Any idea where Cat is?” I responded.

“Miss Catrix and the small orange one are asleep in her room,” Abaddon answered.

“It can wait till she wakes up,” I reasoned, closing my eyes.

“Does he always sleep on his back? That looks uncomfortable,” Twilight whispered.

“I’ve never seen him lay in any other pose for very long, it must be to him,” Luna whispered back.

“I can still hear you,” I commented, “It’s neither particularly comfortable nor uncomfortable, but I can figure out what’s going on and react faster from this position.”

“I should’ve guessed, the level of your paranoia is astounding,” Luna joked.

“It’s not entirely unfounded,” I argued.

“Inside a living fortress and surrounded by a tireless army, yet you’re still on your guard,” Luna continued, chuckling slightly at my expense.

“Yep,” I agreed.

“Does Cat need to set up a twelve lesson course for you to learn how to relax?” Luna asked.

“She won’t, she knows why,” I replied.

“And why is that?” Twilight asked curiously. Cracking an eye open, I found a familiar notepad and quill hovering next to the unicorn.

“Two hundred and eighty-six attempts by Chelly, six thousand five hundred and twenty by upstart greater demons if you count each of their attempts during their mass retaliation separately, and one by the zebras. I don’t count the minotaurs, they’re convinced that alcohol is toxic to me,” I replied.

“And what are these?” Twilight continued.

“Assassination attempts,” Luna clarified, her eyes wide.

“I’m not well liked,” I reasoned.

“You said only one attempt by the zebras? Why?” Twilight asked.

“A formality more than anything else. They won’t waste assassins on a dangerous target, but their honor requires them to try at least once. They threw a fuckup, one of theirs that couldn’t do anything right, at me. Poor idiot got blindsided by a Gamma before I noticed that he was actually trying to hurt me, I still have the knife he stabbed me with around here somewhere,” I explained.

“You let him hit you?” Luna asked, bemused.

“He was so obvious that I thought he was an escaped mental patient,” I joked.

“Could you take this seriously? I hope to publish these notes eventually,” Twilight requested.

“I was serious. What would you call a hoofed being running along rooftops in a bright white hood?” I countered.

“Uh...” Twilight stammered as she searched for a rebuttal.

“You lot aren’t exactly quiet at the best of times, it sounds like a damn thunderstorm when you run on anything less solid than the ground,” I added.

“You win,” Twilight relented, “I’ll just leave this part out, I don’t think the zebras would take it very well.”

“A wise idea,” Luna commented.

“Are you lot done? It has to be getting late,” I asked.

“It’s about nine. Ah that reminds me, Twilight and I were planning on discussing the meaning of the constellations. Would you like to join us?” Luna offered.

“Oh my gosh, I nearly forgot!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Nah, you two have fun. I’ll be here,” I replied.

“Alright, see you later,” Luna bid as she led Twilight out.

Closing my eyes once more, I managed to get a little over three minutes of peace before I was interrupted again, “Sir?”

“Yes, Tzu?” I groaned.

“Bad time? I can come back,” Tzu asked.

“No, it’s fine. A lot happened today,” I responded.

“I understand, I’m feeling it too,” Tzu agreed, his fatigue showing for a moment.

“Abaddon, how you feeling?” I asked.

“I’m fine, thank you for asking,” Abaddon replied.

“Lucky bastard,” Tzu commented.

“Not for long. Let’s get this done and then you can have Abaddon handle everything until you’re rested,” I ordered.

“Sounds good. We’re having trouble clearing the spiders, there’s something about their biology that’s...hard to digest,” Tzu explained.

“I hate them more all the time, continue,” I said with a lazy wave.

“As we witnessed during the battle, they were able to swarm and eat our soldiers without succumbing to the effects of either virus,” Tzu began.

“Slowed metabolism?” I guessed.

“While that would delay the spread of Redlight through their systems, the Blacklight virus should’ve still eaten them alive. As we’ve found from their bodies, they are naturally immune to both viruses on the genetic level,” Tzu continued.

“So we can’t consume them on any real scale. Great, this just became a chore,” I complained.

“That’s the other side of the situation, the Sierras have fixed it already,” Tzu replied.

“Then this whole discussion was pointless?” I asked.

“Well, no. The new mutation isn’t perfect, so it may take longer than predicted to clear away the bodies and rebuild the town,” Tzu responded.

“Fuck, how long are we talking?” I pressed.

“At least twice as long,” Tzu answered gingerly.

“I’m going to have a town’s worth of ponies living in my house for two weeks?” I clarified.

“Yes?” Tzu replied, stepping back slowly.

“Meh, I’ll live,” I said with a shrug before glancing at Tzu, “Why are you all the way over there? I’m not angry and there’s nothing you could’ve done about it anyway.”

“Of course, I think I’m just on edge,” Tzu mused.

“‘Bout what?”

“I just... I thought we were untouchable, but we were almost wiped out today; it was a bit of an eye opening moment. If nothing else, it showed how unprepared we really are,” Tzu explained.

“We did end up relying on Abaddon more than we should’ve,” I agreed, “So how do you plan on fixing this issue?”

“I don’t know. I suppose we could tap into your training and experience, but that would empower the rogues as well. The same thing happens when I consider individual training. What do I do?” Tzu rambled.

“Hmm... Ignore Dopple’s little rebellion. They’re already able to beat our troops, so shifting the scale won’t have any effect on us and they’re already leagues above most others,” I reasoned.

“Yes, sir. On that note, we’ve recovered evidence that supports the theory of rogue activity in the area around the nest.”

“Mine’s better, I got a confession,” I bragged.

“He’s here?” Tzu hissed, turning fearful.

“He was. Came to apologize, if you can believe that. I let him go with some second degree burns to remind him why messing with me is a bad idea,” I elaborated.

“Third,” Abaddon corrected.

“Any information we can use?” Tzu asked, returning to his stoic nature.

“He said he’s working for a greater demon called Citadel, I’ll ask Cat about it in the morning. Other than that, I need to recall Cheryl to make sure she’s not being controlled as well,” I explained.

“I’ll send a Mike,” Tzu replied.

“Let Abaddon handle it, you just get some rest. Today was shit,” I ordered.

“Yes, sir.”

“Understood.”

“Great, now all of you shut the fuck up so I can chill,” I griped, rolling over aggressively to accentuate my point.

“Yes, sir.”

“Understood.”

“Smart asses,” I complained. 

Silence reigned for the next several hours, only being broken by Luna’s quiet return from stargazing. Even with Luna’s wing acting as a feathery blanket, I couldn’t fall asleep. There was too much happening in too little time. Why now? What changed? I’d lived quietly for the last three centuries, never bothering anyone further than drugging Celestia’s shampoo. Was it a coincidence that everything started falling apart once I stopped hiding? Was Ponyville’s destruction my fault?

“Jay, your thoughts are so loud that they’re keeping me awake too,” Luna complained quietly.

“Sorry, just contemplating the idea that I’m the one that fucked up and started all of this shit, I mean… None of this stuff was happening until I decided to pull my fucking head out of the sand,” I replied.

“You think you’re at fault? What could’ve made you think that?” Luna wondered, opening a single eye to look at me as I formed a response.

“It’s the timing, all this shit started when I stopped hiding,” I reasoned.

“And I returned from my banishment,” Luna pointed out, “Perhaps it wasn’t either of us, but both making our appearances that has spurned others into action. Or maybe we’re both wrong, maybe this is just poor circumstances making themselves known at the worst possible times. We can’t know for sure, so why punish ourselves over this? It’s pointless to think about anyway, we simply need to set things right for the people that need us.”

“When did you get philosophical?” I joked, my mood improving.

“I’m significantly older than you, there’s a wisdom you simply haven’t obtained,” Luna snarked.

“You know what? I’m feeling a lot better about this already. Could you move your wing for a second? There’s a rogue enforcer in need of my fist,” I requested.

“Context,” Luna groaned.

“Long story about bombs and shit, I’m assuming Abaddon sent a Mike a while ago and Cheryl should be here any minute,” I explained.

“She’s been waiting for two hours, hasn’t complained though,” Abaddon informed us.

“Good I’ll be able to deal with this quickly, send her to the deck,” I ordered as Luna’s wing moved out of my way. 

“I suppose telling you to be careful would be exceptionally pointless, so I’ll settle for telling you to be safe,” Luna compromised.

“I’ll be fine, but Lucky might be disappointed in the morning,” I replied as I slid off the bed and started walking towards the door.

“It’s approximately four in the morning,” Abaddon corrected.

“You knew what I meant,” I shot back, leaving the room as I heard Luna chuckle and roll over.

“Is she there?” I asked simply once I was far enough down the hallway to avoid disturbing Luna.

“Yes, she believes she is here to escort Miss Lily home. Two degrees of separation,” Abaddon answered.

“Good, I’ll play along,” I agreed grimly. I found Cheryl standing near the edge to better see the damage to the town below us, “Dopple’s doing.”

“I never thought it would be like this, is this war?” Cheryl asked, not looking as I walked up behind her.

“Not quite that bad, a warzone could reach the horizon. This was an extermination, a great many pests meeting their end,” I responded, resting my hand on the rogue’s shoulder as I followed her gaze. Cheryl froze as tendrils exploded out of my palm and forcefully searched through her memories for the placement of any foreign objects, finding two. I spun Cheryl around before she could react and slammed my fist through her twice, forcing the twin explosives out of her back to fall before detonating harmlessly on the ground far below, “Just like that was a mercy.”

Cheryl fell to the ground and shivered for a moment before stammering, “H-How, ugh, how did you know?”

“You might want to ask yourself what I don’t know, the list will be shorter. You’d better have a damn good reason for me to spare you,” I growled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want to spy on you, I didn’t,” Cheryl pleaded.

“I didn’t hear any reasons,” I threatened, forming a three foot long blade out of my right arm.

“I-I-I d-don’t n-know,” Cheryl stuttered in fear.

“Nothing? Not one reason to keep you around? Not even promising to lay down your own life to protect Lucky and the others?” I asked, my blade barely touching the nose of the rogue at my feet.

“Yes! I-what?” Cheryl stumbled. 

“Then get back before Lucky wakes up and starts worrying about you,” I ordered, twisting away with a flourish of my blade.

“I’m free to go?” Cheryl asked nervously.

“You were, but I have something to say first. I’m going to make you a similar deal as the one I gave Dopple: If you hurt Lucky or any of her daughters, I will not allow you to die,” I threatened, my face a mask of rage and disappointment, “Get out of my sight.”

“I’ll just-” Cheryl attempted.

“Lily’s staying here for now, now go,” I ordered more forcefully, going as far as taking a half-hearted swing at Cheryl to force her into motion.

“You didn’t want anything else from her?” Abaddon asked as I walked back to my room.

“She’s too low on the chain and in too remote of a location to spy on them for me, I’ll take what I can get,” I replied.

“Makes sense to me, shall I assign some Gammas to watch her?” Abaddon continued.

“Nah, she didn’t even need to be threatened. She’ll behave,” I predicted.

“Understood. You should know that the Gammas and Romeos that survived the battle are all requesting assessments of their performances. That’s the last thing worth reporting at the moment,” Abaddon said.

“Staging area,” I ordered, adjusting my path accordingly.

“They’ll be waiting,” Abaddon replied. I continued in silence as I stalked the hallways, not encountering a single one of my many guests as I walked. The enforcers were waiting, as promised, in formation when I arrived. Abaddon added a raised section in front of them as I approached.

I climbed onto the makeshift stage in grim silence as the enforcers watched apprehensively, “You want to know how you fought?”

“Yes sir,” the enforcers chorused.

“Alright then. By the standards of any standard military, you were outstanding. Facing impossible odds like these and coming out on top is unheard of, the only exception being my time with the order. Additionally, we had a grand total of zero civilian casualties. Any other commander would be supremely proud of you. I, on the other hand, thought you were sloppy and neglectful.”

Our greatest strength is our adaptability and not one of you though to change your role during the battle, instead trying to use crowd control methods to thin them out and depending on Abaddon to turn the tide. We are not a standard military, we don’t move like one, we don’t fight like one. So why the fuck were we out there dying like one?”

To put it simply, we were blind and arrogant. We failed on the intelligence side before the battle even started and then depended on our biology to stay alive, look around you and tell me how well that worked out. There were tens of thousands of you two days ago, now there are only, what, four dozen? Five? Unacceptable, even if this was your first real fight. I expect to see a noticeable improvement by the time the next one rolls around, or until I decide to test you myself,” I lectured, getting a few depressed looks for the briefest of moments as I spoke, “Any questions? No? Great, go back to what you were doing and wait for Tzu to get your new training figured out.”

“Yes sir,” the enforcers chorused again, though with less energy than before.

“Chin up, I’m supposed to push you to be better,” I consoled as I dropped from the stage and walked out. I could faintly hear the sounds of sleeping ponies as I passed their rooms, finding it oddly comforting to know that they were all safe despite the circumstances.

“Hey tall enforcer guy, do any of these rooms have an empty bed?” A tired voice asked from behind me.

“Hey Scoots, something wrong with Cat’s room?” I greeted, turning to face the sleepy filly.

“When Cat fell asleep she started hogging all the covers,” Scootaloo complained.

“Come on, I’ve got a room for you,” I offered.

“Which one?” Scootaloo asked as she hurried to catch up.

“Mine, I won’t need it tonight,” I elaborated.

“Enforcers have their own rooms?” Scootaloo wondered.

“I’m not an enforcer,” I corrected.

“Then you’re Jekyll, the one everypony was scared of,” Scootaloo reasoned, “Are you going to eat me?”

“I have been asked that question so many times, but never as fearlessly. No, I’m not going to eat you,” I replied.

“Why not? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” Scootaloo continued.

“Says who?” I countered.

“Everypony,” Scootaloo answered.

“Then everypony’s wrong. I can do whatever I want, and I don’t want to eat ponies,” I argued.

“Why not?” Scootaloo asked. A glance told me that she was trying to annoy me, it wasn’t working.

“Too stringy, I always get bits stuck in my teeth. It’s kinda like celery, but way worse,” I lied.

“Eww, I’ll never eat celery again,” Scootaloo whined.

“It’s good for you, great with some choice sauces as well,” I argued.

“But…” Scootaloo attempted.

“No buts, celery is an important part of a growing filly’s diet,” I insisted.

“Uuuuug, this is why I don’t want parents; nopony to tell me what to eat,” Scootaloo complained.

“Honestly, I don’t really care what you eat. It isn’t as if I have any room to talk. But enough arguing, we’re here,” I announced.

“Isn’t that Cat’s room right there?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yep.”

“Then I’m back where I started, great.”

“The most useful tip I can give you is to talk to the walls. Abaddon isn’t just carrying this building around, he is the building and he can hear you. If you had asked him for another bed, you wouldn’t have needed to leave that room at all. Moot point now, just something to think about in the future,” I advised as I opened the door and peeked in, finding Luna sleeping peacefully on her own for the first time, “You can have Abaddon make you a bed or climb in with Luna, I doubt she’ll mind.”

“I’ll take another bed please,” Scootaloo requested. Abaddon complied without any further prompting, “Thanks, I guess.”

“Would you do me a favor? Luna has trouble sleeping most nights. For her sake, could you switch beds until she calms back down if she looks like she needs company?” I asked.

“The princess of dreams has nightmares? Yeah I’ll help,” Scootaloo agreed.

“Thank you. If either of you need me, I’ll be on the deck,” I informed her.

“Doing what?” Scootaloo asked innocently, receiving no answer as I walked out and closed the door behind me.


Perspective Change: Luna
Three hours later


I awoke from my surprisingly benign slumber to find I wasn’t alone. While this wasn’t anything new at this point, the fuzziness of my companion was. Opening an eye to survey my surroundings, I found an empty bed on the other side of the room and an orange filly curled up against my side. After a moment to think of how to extricate myself without waking Scootaloo, I teleported onto the other bed before getting up. 

“Abby, what time is it?” I whispered.

“Two hours before dawn,” Abaddon replied quietly. ‘Now what am I supposed to do? I’m wide awake, this is inconvenient.’

“I think I’ll just go for a walk then, where’s Jay?” I asked after leaving the room.

“He’s...busy. Yes, I think that’s the best way I can describe it. He’s on the deck, but I would recommend leaving him alone,” Abaddon warned.

“Is he okay?” I asked, concerned.

“No. None of us are, even if we pretend to be,” Abaddon answered cryptically, as though he expected me to understand what he meant.

“I still think I should see if I can help,” I insisted before making my way down the now familiar hallways to the deck. 

When I arrived I saw that Jekyll was the only one there, unless one counted the small pile of empty bottles next to where he was sitting on the edge, “Go way!”

Dodging the lazily thrown whiskey bottle, I backed off before attempting to parley with the belligerent pathogen, “Jay, are you alright?”

“Fuck no I’m not, I’m not drunk enough yet and Abawhatsit ran out of my favorite booze,” Jekyll complained, breaking another of the bottles against his head for some unfathomable reason.

“How can I help you? Tell me what’s wrong,” I asked, venturing closer and having to duck under another bottle for my trouble.

“What’s fuckin wrong she asks. How can I help she asks. Ya wanna list? I got a list. Sergeant Clear Night, pegasus stalker, thirty-eighth battle of Minos. Knight Draven, minotaur, food riot in Manehattan. Knight Moonlight, earth pony lycan, the same food riot in Manehattan. Advisor Potts, sentient plant, construction accident in the Crystal Kingdom-” Jekyll ranted.

“Please stop,” I requested, now understanding why Abaddon had tried to warn me away.

“Let him go, it’s how he honors them,” Catrix said from behind me, announcing her presence.

“I don’t understand. I didn’t know them and this is painful to hear, why does he do this to himself? Wouldn’t it be better to find an easier way?” I asked.

“Not the fucking point!” Jekyll shouted, slapping his ammunition pile so hard that only fragments of the bottles tumbled off the side. I counted my lucky stars that he hadn’t directed that slap towards Catrix and I.

“He’s right, that isn’t the point. Jay does this once a year on the anniversary of the kingdom’s disappearance and after every major fight. The pain is how he reminds himself of their sacrifices and if they’re watching, to show them that they aren’t forgotten,” Catrix explained, her words hitting me like a punch to the chest.

“How can we help?” I asked.

“By listening. Follow my lead,” Catrix ordered, walking forward, “For the fallen.”

“For the fallen,” Jekyll repeated, allowing her to approach.

“For the fallen,” I said nervously as I walked over to them.

“For the fallen,” Jekyll repeated again, “How bout ya fuckin start with that next time? Less fuckin glass gets broke that way.”

“What’s this one for?” I asked, levitating an engraved crystal glass that was sitting opposite of where the bottles had been.

“Luna, put that back,” Catrix warned, a touch of fear in her voice. Jekyll’s livid glare added some weight to her statement and I nearly dropped the glass as I rushed to put it back down, a single drop escaping and falling onto the deck. Jekyll looked ready to tear my throat out over that drop, at least until Abaddon returned it to the glass to everyone’s relief.

“Not for you, for them,” Jekyll stated, his voice still shaking in rage.

“Whatever you do, don’t touch that cup. He’s drunk enough to see it as an intentional insult towards his dead friends and soldiers, I’m not kidding when I say that I’ve seen him skin people alive over that same cup,” Catrix advised, sending a shiver down my spine.

“Ya fuckin knew better,” Jekyll accused, looking at Catrix.

“It was an accident, I couldn’t have known the bottle would bounce like that,” Catrix shot back.

“Accidend smaccidend, ya broke the dead’s drink,” Jekyll argued, grabbing a wine bottle from Abaddon as he spoke and taking an incredibly long drink from it before spitting out the cork.

“It’s literally right there,” Catrix pointed out.

“Had anudder made, ya broke the first one,” Jekyll slurred.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Catrix apologized, but Jekyll had already returned his drunken focus to his wine bottle.

“Can I sit next to it? I won’t dishonor the dead,” I requested.

“I don give a fuck, jus keep yer word. That’sss all we really got, ain’t it? Our word. Promises. I promised them I’d keep em safe, too many broken promises. Too many times I had to tell their kids. Or wives. Sometimes it was a wife, or girlfriend. Ha, sometimes both. Couple husbands, never a boyfriend. Odd that, never had an unmarried female die. Wonder if there’s a connection, hmmmmm,” Jekyll mused, leaning slightly as his sense of balance failed. The wine bottle fell over the edge, the inside dry. With a new bottle in hand, Jekyll fell silent once more.

“How long do you do this to yourself?” I asked, my concern having returned as I sat down.

“Day. Less this time, got sponsibibities. Heh, bibities. Fuck this bottle, the last one had more. Abawhatever, find me something with more kick and less jackassery,” Jekyll ordered, his voice becoming a snarl as he discovered he was once again out of wine.

“He’ll drink until he forgets their names, then force himself to recite them,” Catrix clarified.

“Sss wha I said,” Jekyll added uselessly before finishing off his second bottle of some clear alcohol.

“Shouldn’t you be bloated from all this alcohol?” I asked, noting the sheer amount of empty bottles I had already seen and the rate that more were being created.

“Got ways, gotta maintain my handsome as fuck looks after all,” Jekyll bragged, slapping his thigh. His secret was revealed as waves rippled outward from the impact.

“Who was the only member of your strike team to die?” Catrix asked.

“Trick question, he don’t die. It’s Haaa, Harooo, Haraaa, fuck. It started with an ‘H’ damnit,” Jekyll attempted.

“Chronological, go,” Catrix ordered, sitting back to wait out Jekyll’s bizarre ritual.

Listening to Jekyll fight for every single name was incredibly frustrating, I wanted to help so badly but I didn’t know any of them. The strangest part to me was that while he had difficulty with the names, his descriptions and places where they died came instantly. Jekyll didn’t finish until long after I had swapped the sun and moon.

“... And two hundred and ten thousand one hundred and sixty-three enforcers, the spider attack on Ponyville. You are not forgotten,” Jekyll finished, lifting the glass and holding it over the side.

“You are not forgotten,” Catrix parroted.

“And you never will be,” I added.

“And you never will be,” Jekyll agreed as he slowly poured the drink out. A comfortable silence fell for several minutes as we all sat and thought of our lost or, in the case of Jekyll and Catrix, those still sealed in the Crystal kingdom, “Hold still.”

“Why?” I asked, though I was immediately answered by Jekyll’s hand piercing itself on my horn, “What are you doing?”

“~I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real~,” Jekyll sang badly, not even bothering to add his usual music. My feeble protests died before I could speak them, and I simply allowed Jekyll’s hand to casually push and pull me as he swayed. His song ended a few minutes later and he took another long drink to toast the occasion.

“Might be a record, you were really throwing those back,” Catrix noted, as Jekyll noticed that he was still impaled and removed his hand from my head.

“Go fuck yourself with a battle spade,” Jekyll responded.

“Happily, as soon as you tell me what a battle spade is.”

“It’s a mix between a shovel and a sword, good for digging trenches and then defending them. Go on, and don’t tell us about the scars,” Jekyll continued.

“~Too late~,” Catrix sang as she skipped away.

“Shoulda said a bowling ball,” Jekyll griped.

“Can she?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“You’re damn right she can, the real question is whether or not she will,” Jekyll replied.

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” I began.

“Then don’t, I’m going for a walk and then I’m going to kill something. I’ll show up somewhere, probably,” Jekyll interrupted before leaning forward and falling off the deck. Peering over the side, I watched him land flat on his chest before getting up and brushing himself off.

“I guess I’ll just go back to bed then,” I said to myself.

“Oh, princess you’re awake. Do you have a moment? I was wondering if you knew how long we’d be here. Or if the rumors about a pool were true,” A voice asked from behind me. ‘There goes my nap... oh well.’


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Fuck the ground,” I complained, fully aware that it had been over a minute since I had messed up my landing.

“Is that you, Apex?” a vaguely familiar voice asked.

“I’m still drunk, who’re you?” I asked.

“You called me bitch, you killed my children, the dark one showed me mercy,” the voice replied.

“Chelly doesn’t have kids, so that means you’re the spider bitch. You’re supposed to be dead, Lu killed you,” I reasoned.

“Soon, I cannot see, I cannot eat,” Spiderbitch replied.

“Waddaya want then? Is annoying me all you’ve got left?” I snapped.

“I want you to kill me, end my suffering, reunite me with my children,” Spiderbitch requested.

“I did say I was going to kill something, you’ll do. Where’d you end up anyway?” I asked, staggering towards where I had last seen Spiderbitch.

“I am blind, I remember a tall white structure, roughly the center of the settlement,” Spiderbitch answered.

“Not the library? Shit, hold on,” I complained as I realized I was going the wrong way. As I turned I found that I had been able to see the colossal bulk of the dying spider the entire time, “Fuck, I’m an idiot.”

“I worried you’d let me suffer, you were cruel before, you may be cruel again,” Spiderbitch confided.

“Fuck you, I didn’t say I was gonna be nice about it. Why’re you being so friendly about this?” I interrogated.

“I see no reason for hostility, I am at your mercy, I desire only efficiency,” Spiderbitch replied.

“Whatever, I’m here. Where’s your brain?” I asked dismissively.

“The largest segment, above center, towards the front,” Spiderbitch answered.

“I assume you’re ready?”

“I am, you have my gratitude, please be thorough,” Spiderbitch requested.

“Strangest last words I’ve ever heard. I’d tell you to burn in hell, but then I’d still have to deal with you,” I noted as I stabbed a tendril through Spiderbitch’s carapace. I hit gray matter on the third strike and began assimilating it all, “You were a decent opponent, I’ll give you that. Haven’t had a fight that close since high school, though I lost that one.”

Deciding my walk had gone on long enough, I decided to return to Abaddon and digest the information I’d gotten from Spiderbitch. I quickly ran into an issue however, my right wing wouldn’t form correctly. The damn thing was backwards, causing me to spin in the air before crashing back to the ground.

“Fuck you ground. I guess I’ll keep walking then,” I groaned as I pushed myself back to my feet.

“Do you require assistance sir?” Tzu asked as he landed gracefully.

“Fuck you, you fucking showoff. I can do it myself, as soon as I sober up a little,” I snapped.

“I know it’s against the rules you’ve set for your period of mourning, but you could purge the intoxicants from your body,” Tzu pointed out.

“Go away, I can take care of myself,” I ordered with a misplaced wave that struck Tzu across the face, “Shit, I’m sorry buddy. Please don’t hate me and run off like Dee did.”

“Abaddon has today covered, let’s find you somewhere to sleep this off,” Tzu said, moving to stabilize me as the world tilted.

“I told you to fuck off,” I commented.

“And then you told me to stay, by my interpretation. Come on, I’ve got your balance,” Tzu insisted.

“Heh, that’sh what I’ve been waiting for. Finding a way to do the right thing, no matter what I shay. You’re a good shon, Tzu, the othersh could learn shome shit from you,” I slurred, my heavy drinking starting to catch up with me.

“Here we go, a nice soft corpse pile. You’ll be able to have a snack when you wake up,” Tzu offered. I responded by way of falling face first into the pile of spiders and letting the resulting avalanche bury me.

“G’night Tzu,” I managed before losing consciousness.


Some time later


It was dark when I awoke and a quick check revealed that I was stone cold sober, not a trace of alcohol in my system. Surprisingly, I wasn’t hungover either. I suspected Tzu had something to do with that, I’d need to thank him at some point. 

“Jay? Are you in there?” I heard Luna ask from nearby.

“Yeah, give me a sec to get free,” I replied, pushing the bodies off of me as I climbed out of my resting place.

“Oh good, I’ve been searching these piles for ages. I was worried about you, please don’t run off like that again,” Luna requested, sounding relieved.

“You can’t live without me for a few hours? I didn’t realize how much of an impact I’ve made,” I joked.

“It’s been four days,” Luna deadpanned, “Tzu’s been checking on you but he wouldn’t let me follow him.”

“He must’ve thought I needed to sleep. Admittedly, I do feel a lot better,” I assumed.

“That was the reasoning he gave me, are you ready to sleep in a bed for once this week?” Luna asked.

“I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that Cat’s been edging closer while I was gone,” I guessed.

“She was in the bed when I woke up this morning,” Luna confirmed.

“She would’ve done that eventually, the difference being that she didn’t have to get my permission,” I pointed out.

“Would you have given it?” Luna asked.

“Not unless you already did, then it would’ve been more silence than anything,” I replied with a shrug.

“Well at least you’ll be able to keep her from trying anything now that you’re back,” Luna sighed.

“Sure,” I agreed, following Luna back towards Abaddon.

“Jay, about that night, the one when you wandered off,” Luna began.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I was pretty hostile,” I apologized.

“No, it’s fine. I should apologize for being so slow to understand, I should’ve listened to Abby and left you alone,” Luna countered.

“Cat’s right, you are a weird one. Let’s just call it even and move on, eh?” I suggested with a light snicker.

“Deal, on the condition that you don’t push me away next time,” Luna proposed.

“Fair enough, you can watch me be a drunk piece of shit next time,” I allowed as I formed my wings correctly and prepared to take off.

“Hurry to our room, Twilight’s eager to show off her newest friendship report. She’s wanted you to hear it as well,” Luna said as she took flight. I nodded and flew up to the deck to have a quick talk with Tzu before meeting with Twilight. However, I didn’t find Tzu on the deck.

“Hey Best, or Jekyll, whatever,” Rainbow greeted.

“Hey Dash. Call me whatever you want-” I began.

“-Except late for dinner, you’ve been making that stupid joke since I was a filly. Look Best, I-I really wanted to hate you, but you-you didn’t-I don’t know how to say this,” Rainbow stumbled.

“Your friend Twilight is getting ready to read her newest friendship report to Luna, maybe she’ll give you some help putting your thoughts into words,” I suggested.

“The AJ thing, that’s actually what brought me here. It was just too much, the town got wrecked and you’re Best and the Wonderbolts rejected my application again. I got overwhelmed, I didn’t mean to say all of that stuff,” Rainbow confessed.

“Would you believe me if I told you that it was beyond mild by my standards?” I joked, “Come on Dash, we have an abundance of things to talk about.”

“Like what?” Rainbow asked as she fell into step next to me, both of us heading for the doorway.

“Whatever you want to know, ask away,” I clarified.

“Okay...How do you do that?” Rainbow asked.

“Shift my form? It took me a few years to figure it out, but I have conscious control over every cell in my body. What they do, where they are, and how much of certain minerals they contain,” I replied.

“I meant walking like that, isn’t it hard to keep your balance?” Rainbow corrected.

“I’ve always been bipedal, even before I was like this. It’s natural to me,” I answered.

“Huh, what about…” Rainbow continued asking me random questions about how I accomplished various tasks. Most of her questions were answered with the word ‘hands,’ but I wasn’t about to complain.

“We’re here,” I announced, pushing the door open.

“But I had more questions,” Rainbow complained as we walked in. Luna and Twilight weren’t here yet so I opted to sit on the bed and wait.

“Dash, I live here. This is my home. You can come here whenever you want to hang out, dropping my alias doesn’t mean our relationship has to change,” I pointed out, referencing how Rainbow and Applejack would show up at my door whenever they needed advice.

“What about AJ, are you keeping the same deal with her?” Rainbow asked.

“Last time I saw AJ, she was more pissed than you were. If she wants to talk to me, I’ll make it happen,” I promised.

“I guess you could have this big thing sit down so she could climb on like we all did before,” Rainbow mused, “But it doesn’t look like a comfortable position.”

“Abaddon?” I asked, deflecting the question.

“I wouldn’t describe it as uncomfortable, it’s more that it’s tactically detrimental. However, there are several ways to facilitate transportation to and from myself,” Abaddon replied, his secondary torso suspending from the ceiling. 

“That’s weird,” Rainbow commented, pointing at Abaddon’s secondary with a feather.

“I’ve been getting that a lot lately,” Abaddon replied.

“Best, Jekyll, Jay-I’m sticking with Jay-we’re cool, I’ll see you later. I’m out,” Rainbow declared as she turned away from the hanging abomination to leave, only to be stopped by the sight of Luna and Twilight walking in, “Nevermind, I guess I’m going to hang out for a few more minutes.”

“Hi Rainbow, did you and Jekyll make up?” Twilight asked as she caught sight of her friend.

“Thick as thieves, at least they used to be,” Applejack’s voice spat from the hallway.

“Applejack, please come inside. I foresee a valuable lesson that I may be able to teach you all,” Luna requested.

“Alright Princess, if ya say so,” Applejack relented, finally entering the room. I stood from where I was seated and joined the rough circle the others were forming in the middle of the room.

“Let’s sit, I believe we will be discussing two major events tonight,” Luna suggested, though everyone else was already moving to a seated position, “Twilight, if you’d like to start.”

“Actually, I think Applejack should be the one to tell the story,” Twilight responded, placing a hoof on her friend’s shoulder.

“Fine, Ah was pigheaded an’ tried ta harvest the entire farm’s worth of apples by myself. ‘Bout worked myself ta death ‘fore Twi insisted on helpin’. Had a decent powow ‘bout acceptin’ help when Ah need it,” Applejack confessed.

“I learned a different lesson. The way you broke down and let us help you reminded me of all the times the both of us have gone to Best for help over the years, and how holding this grudge would be throwing all of that away. I realized I couldn’t do that, it just wasn’t me,” Rainbow added.

“To paraphrase then, there is no shame in allowing others to share your burdens, but similarly, there is no pride in pushing your friends away. Before you and your friends purged the Nightmare from me, I could count my friends on my horn. I’m still learning about what it means to have friends, but these are valuable lessons that apply to all aspects of life and should not be taken lightly,” Luna advised.

“If yer askin’ me to forget about all the lies this feller’s been feedin’ me, Ah can’t do it. Ah get why Rainbow forgave ya so easily, Element of Loyalty and all that. But Ah trusted ya, Mac trusted ya, even Granny trusted ya. Bloom trusted ya. You lied ta all of us. You promised me you’d never lie ta me. You promised you’d never lie ta Mac! And the whole time you were a walking lie! You let my whole family down, Ah don’t know if Ah can let that go,” Applejack stated, forcing her accent down to make her point more clearly.

“I understand, and I’m truly sorry. If you ever want to talk to me or need my help, I’ll be there,” I promised.

“Don’t get me wrong now, Rainbow’s right. Ya done too much for me and mine to just chase off like some varmint, but Ah can’t forget either. So how ‘bout this? Name’s Applejack, my friends call me AJ,” Applejack amended, holding her hoof out.

“Jekyll, though you can call me Jay if you want,” I returned, reaching out and shaking her hoof.

“Alright then, we’re square. Sartin’ fresh. How ‘bout ya don’t muck it up this time?” Applejack teased, earning a laugh from me before the others could react.

“So we’re all friends again?” Twilight confirmed, receiving matching nods from Applejack and I, “Great, what’s next on the list?”

“I’ve been wondering about Luna’s old armor, you seemed like you hated the one I had made for you,” I mused.

“Alas, it was far beyond repair. It shall be missed,” Luna responded sadly.

“The Nightmare Moon getup? Why would you want that?” Rainbow asked.

“‘Twas a gift from Father. As horrible as our parents were, I still treasured my time with him,” Luna replied.

“I might have a way,” I proposed.

“Are you waiting for a written invitation sent by carrier pigeon?” Luna asked sarcastically when I didn’t immediately continue.

“The best armor is made with pride. Well, the best everything really. The trick is finding a smith that loves what they make beyond everything else, I know where to find such a smith,” I teased.

“Now it’s starting to bother me, where?” Twilight pressed.

“In Tartarus of course, who could possibly be more prideful than an embodiment of pride itself. Cat may not like them but the Pretties are the best tradesworkers of all time,” I concluded.

“And one of them can fix my armor?” Luna asked.

“Hmm, no. See, they’re also dangerously envious, taking them something as well made as your old armor and asking them to fix it would be an insult. The best way of doing this would be to bring them a sketch of how you’d like your armor to look and letting them make you a completely new set,” I replied.

“Wouldn’t that require me to be there? You’re suggesting that we take a trip to Tartarus?” Luna confirmed.

“That’s insane, you can’t!” Twilight protested.

“And we have arrived at the reason why I haven’t mentioned this before. I know that it’s a terrible idea, but I also know that it’ll work,” I reasoned.

“I don’t like this, we’ve all heard the stories about Tartarus. Do you really believe one of them would help you? Or that you’ll be able to stop the nasty ones from eating the Princess?” Rainbow argued.

“Can Ah tell her?” Applejack asked.

“Tell me what?” Rainbow countered.

“It’s not actually a secret anymore, I’d just rather it be on a need to know basis. Go ahead,” I allowed.

“Jay here owns Tartarus, they’ll do as he says. Ya missed Cat earlier, she’s a demon Jay’s got livin’ here,” Applejack elaborated.

“And if I know her at all, she’s got her ear pressed to the door,” I added.

“She is clothed at least,” Abaddon consoled, reminding us all that his secondary was still hanging around.

“Why’s that a big deal? We don’t wear clothes,” Rainbow asked ignorantly.

“Trust me, it’s for the best,” Luna replied as the door opened.

“I was wondering how long it would take for you to call me out,” Catrix mused as she strode in, making a beeline for the only face she didn’t know.

“Uh, hi?” Rainbow said unsurely as she found one of Catrix’s arms around her shoulders.

“Cat, at least try to be civil,” I warned.

“I’m always civil, it’s these little beauties that disturb the peace,” Catrix purred.

“Dash, you have about ten seconds until she drops the subtlety and carries you away,” I cautioned.

“What did I do?” Rainbow asked nervously, “What do I do?”

“Cat, she’s not interested. Leave her be,” I ordered sternly.

“I was only teasing anyway,” Catrix lied, though she continued to idly rub Rainbow’s shoulder.

“Perhaps a distraction is in order. Cat, what do you think of having a Pretty make me some new armor?” Luna asked.

“As long as I don’t have to go with you, I like the idea,” Catrix replied.

“Your dislike of them only applies to your interactions with them? I’m confused,” Luna continued.

“Jay mentioned that they were big on pride and envy right? Having me with you would just piss them off. In fact, back when I was a toy, my master would pay for Pretty-made stuff by letting them cut up my face,” Catrix explained.

“Woah, hold on. I’m flying on one wing here. What?” Rainbow exclaimed, her head snapping towards Catrix in concern.

“Honey I’m a lust demon, I’m supposed to be a plaything. But before Jay took over my life was a lot worse, I’d rather not go into detail right now,” Catrix elaborated.

“You’re a what now?” Rainbow and Applejack asked.

“Good luck, I’ve tried like hell over the years to fix that. Cat doesn’t see herself as a person-” I began.

“Because I’m not. I don’t understand why this has to be so complicated,” Catrix interrupted.

“-and neither does the rest of her species, but things don’t have their own desires or goals. A toy doesn’t learn psychology or earn a degree in medicine,” I finished.

“A degree that doesn’t count, it’s expired and was only valid in the kingdom anyway,” Catrix argued.

“You still earned it because you wanted to, not because you were told to. You have more of a right to be considered a person than most of the enforcers,” I pointed out.

“They’re born, I just exist,” Catrix countered, “And we’ve had this argument before.”

“Cat, are you alive?” Rainbow asked, catching the rest of us off guard, “Do you feel alive?”

“I, um, sometimes,” Catrix responded.

“Me too, especially when I’m pulling off some new trick or breaking my speed record,” Rainbow continued, “What about you?”

“Oh look, a can of worms,” I commented.

“When there’s-When I’m making someone happy. Usually in a more physical way, but-but I know that mental pain can make life miserable. I like helping people,” Catrix managed after a moment.

“I think you’ve got some issues of your own, things that you’d have to face if you let yourself be real,” Rainbow concluded, ignoring the thin line of blood running down her shoulder from where Catrix’s grip had tightened.

“Dash, that’s enough for now. I think you’re on the right track, but I’ve seen where this leads and I don’t want you getting hurt,” I cautioned.

“Whatever it was, I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. It’s okay now,” Rainbow continued, heedless of my warning. Catrix’s grip loosened and her arm dropped limply to her side, though the rest of her could’ve been made of stone.

“Ah hell. Lu, could you take Twilight and AJ out of here?” I requested, noticing the look that was forming in Catrix’s eyes. Luna teleported away with the others before I had finished speaking, leaving me alone with Catrix, Rainbow and Abaddon, “Abaddon, make yourself scarce. Dash, you remember your bi phase from a few years ago?”

“About that, I’ve been…” Rainbow trailed off.

“That’s why she was interested in you,” I mused, “Catrix is reverting, it happens when she remembers too much of her past. You have three options, I can kill and resummon her, you can let her do her thing, or you can run like hell and hope she’s happy with Tzu.”

“You’d kill her?” Rainbow asked, shocked.

“It doesn’t mean anything to her, she’d be reborn instantly. As one of the other options means letting her essentially rape you, and the other has the possibility of the same, I think cutting her down is a valid option,” I explained.

Rainbow looked between Catrix and I for a moment as she weighed her options, “Would she remember anything?”

“From what I’ve gathered, she only keeps some parts,” I replied.

“I don’t think that’s the best plan then, I’d just end up back here again anyway. Buck it, I could go a couple rounds. Is she any good?” Rainbow reasoned, standing to stretch out her back.

“Her kind literally invented sex on this world, you could say that she has some experience,” I deadpanned, moving away slightly as Catrix twitched.

“Alright, I’m ready,” Rainbow declared as she jumped onto my bed.

“Not in my fucking room you’re not. Outside, turn right, first door on the right,” I ordered, pointing at the door. I prided myself on being tolerant, but I wasn’t about to deal with other people’s smells in my own room.

“Fine, fine, but don’t keep me waiting,” Rainbow groused as she hopped back down and walked out.

“Ponies are fucking weird, getting impatient for a damn time bomb to go off,” I commented, tossing the, still comatose, body of Catrix over my shoulder and walking out. 

“She awake yet?” Rainbow asked when I entered Catrix’s room. She had already assumed what she probably thought was a seductive pose on Catrix’s bed.

“Almost. I was debating on telling you this, but Cat’s got a thing with one of my enforcers,” I confessed. Rainbow raised an eyebrow for a second before deciding what to do with this information.

“Will he do what I say?” Rainbow asked, a mischievous look crossing her face.

“I’ll send him down,” I sighed as I sat Catrix against the wall, “Rescue is only a shout away.”

“I’ll be fine,” Rainbow promised, clearly eager for me to leave. With nothing else to say or do, I left Rainbow Dash to her chosen fate.

“Abaddon?” I asked once the door was closed.

“Tzu is on his way and I’ll be keeping an eye on them. Also, Tzu has some information for you that both he and I find quite amusing,” Abaddon replied, “Mistress Luna and the others have gotten distracted and are currently discussing the formation of galaxies on the deck.”

“I haven’t seen Lily in a while, where is she?” I continued.

“I am helping Miss Lily with an exercise in her magic capabilities, I’ve been keeping a track of how long her newest invisibility spell lasts. She is in the room she shares with Miss Catrix,” Abaddon answered.

“The room that’s now also occupied by Cat and Dash?” I clarified.

“The same,” Abaddon confirmed.

“I’d do something about that or make some speech about how bad of an influence I am, but this is fairly normal for her and her family. I don’t care,” I declared, walking off to find something else to do.

“Ah, Mister Jekyll, I was hoping to run into you,” A tan earth pony called as I wandered the hallways in the general direction to the deck.

“Mayor Mare, it’s been a while. How can I help you?” I asked as the pony caught up to me.

“Mostly I just wanted to thank you for housing all of us and rebuilding our town, but I was also wondering if you could confirm the rumors about a swimming pool?” the Mayor asked, “I think it would help everypony relax and relieve some stress.”

“Abaddon may not be able to multitask as well as Jeff, but he can lead you to wherever you want to go. Including to the indoor pool,” I replied.

“Of course, all this concrete and wood makes it easy to forget that we’re inside one of these creatures,” The mayor replied with a good natured chuckle.

“Speaking of stress relief, would you mind letting the townsponies know that the sound of ponies being murdered coming from the room next to mine aren’t what they seem to be and should be ignored,” I requested.

“The sound of ponies being murdered,” Mayor Mare repeated, “I think I should do a headcount.”

“Rainbow Dash will be absent. Long story short, one of my other guests is a demon and she lost her shit a few minutes ago. She’s mostly harmless and Dash has it covered, but the process of getting her back under control can be somewhat loud,” I elaborated.

“Alright then, as long as Rainbow will be okay,” Mayor Mare reluctantly agreed.

“Great, I’ll see you around then,” I said, turning to leave.

“Right, see you,” Mayor Mare responded absently, her curiosity already pulling her towards the hallway I had come from. I was still laughing when I found Luna and the others several minutes later.

“What’s so funny?” Twilight asked.

“The mayor’s curiosity is about to get her in trouble,” I replied cryptically.

“Sir, Mayor Mare has reached Miss Catrix’s room. She’s opening the door...she went in,” Abaddon reported, his amused tone turning to surprise.

“Forget you heard this, the mayor’s choices are her business. Unless she flips out, then they’re hilarious,” I told the others.

“What’s goin on in that gal’s room? And where’s Rainbow?” Applejack asked suspiciously.

“It does not concern us young Applejack, rest assured that your friend is quite safe,” Luna replied.

“Y’all seem ta know what yer talkin’ about, I’ll trust ya on this,” Applejack relented.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d like to get at least some sleep tonight. I’ll see you all in the morning,” Twilight bid before walking away.

“It is getting rather late, I assume you must be departing as well Applejack?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, Ah should get goin’. Just wanna check on Rainbow ‘fore Ah go,” Applejack insisted, though she found her intended path blocked by one of Abaddon’s secondaries.

“Negative,” Abaddon said simply. ‘There must be something going on that Applejack shouldn’t see.’

“What’s all this about? Jekyll, get this thing ta get outta my way,” Applejack demanded.

“Neg-a-tive,” Abaddon repeated, drawing out each syllable. ‘Something scarring or traumatizing for her. I don’t need to know what it is.’

“AJ, let it go. Abaddon wouldn’t stop you without a good reason,” I reasoned.

“Ah think makin’ sure my best friend ain’t dead is a pretty darn good reason,” Applejack argued.

“I promise that she’s fine, but I’d wager my fortune that there’s something else in that room that you really don’t want to see,” I stated, receiving a hesitant nod from Abaddon.

“Ah thought we were gonna be square with each other. Ah guess ya just can’t help keepin’ stuff from me,” Applejack said sadly.

“You asked for it,” I sighed before turning to Abaddon, “Red or green?”

“Green,” Abaddon replied, causing me to recoil.

“Jay, no offense but I’d rather be in Tartarus than listen to this any longer,” Luna interjected.

“I agree. AJ if you really want to walk in on your grandmother, be my guest,” I warned.

“Ah think Ah’ll just go home after all, maybe drink some bleach until that image gets out of my head,” Applejack replied absently before wandering away.

“Abaddon, make sure she gets home alright,” I ordered. After a moment I decided to make an addition, “And steal their bleach.”

“That was hooves down the worst thing I have ever heard,” Luna complained.

“In my top twenty at least,” I agreed.

“Sir, I believe I have accidentally misled you,” Abaddon began, “Miss Applejack’s grandmother is not onboard. After Miss Mare-I believe you would say she blundered in-Miss Dash demanded that I prevent anymore intrusions or face a physically impossible fate involving my teeth and an orifice I do not possess.”

“Then why did you say she was?” I asked.

“You asked me to pick a color, I thought red would be too common among us,” Abaddon replied, his secondary shrugging.

“Regardless of how many ponies are next door, I feel safe in assuming our room is less than livable at the moment. What should we do?” Luna asked.

“You’re getting tired?” I clarified.

“I am. While spending the night under the stars is appealing, I’d rather avoid the confusion in the morning,” Luna confirmed.

“You already know what I’m about to suggest, you said it yourself a minute ago. The royal chambers in the Obsidian Palace,” I suggested.

“We’ll need to be back before dawn,” Luna reasoned.

“I’ll just leave the portal open, Abaddon will be able to let us know,” I replied.

“Abby, get Jay’s sword; we’re going traveling,” Luna ordered, her excitement starting to show in her voice.

“Nah, I can’t take Cataclysm to Tartarus. It’s too dangerous, so I’ll be using my own power for this,” I explained.

“How long will it take for the ritual?” Luna asked as her enthusiasm faded.

“Hmm, about eight seconds,” I guessed as Abaddon rose a flat section of his mass for me to work with and I formed my claws.

“You can open portals without a ritual?” Luna gasped as the first claw on my right hand turned bright white.

“Of course I can, it comes with eating Belial alive,” I explained as I traced a vaguely rectangular shape on the wall Abaddon had made. When I finished my crude drawing and connected the lines, a sharp kick shattered the enclosed area and revealed a dimly lit room with glossy black walls and a massive circular bed, complete with curtains emblazoned with an image of a clawed hand, that dominated the center of the room.

“Wow, I never thought I would actually see Tartarus, much less the Obsidian Palace,” Luna said breathlessly.

“Are you coming? You own this place too, you know,” I reminded her as I casually walked through the portal.

“Uh, yeah,” Luna stumbled as the followed me into the deepest pit of hell.

“Right, so, rules and customs,” I began with a clap as I spun to face Luna, “Don’t leave the palace without an escort of at least twenty rippers, there’s nothing vegetarian on the menu but you should eat it anyway, and be as mean as possible to the staff.”

“Wait hold on, what?” Luna asked in surprise.

“You will be kidnapped and murdered if you don’t flaunt your power outside of the palace. You will cause the chefs to be tortured for millennia if you won’t eat their food, which won’t make you sick by the way. And you will offend the servants if you treat them nicely, it means you think they need to be pampered and can’t take care of themselves,” I elaborated.

“Tartarus is a strange place,” Luna commented.

“Oh, we’re just getting started.”
> Side Chapter: Through The Eyes Of A Real Monster
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, we’re just getting started.”

“I am legitimately afraid to ask,” Luna said, looking towards the door in concern. 

“You hear them as well? That’s probably the maids rushing in before Harry gets pissed at them for not being here waiting for me,” I commented.

“What is his role here anyway?” Luna asked.

“He’s my secretary, keeps everything running down here while I do my own thing. He’s the best I could hope for, even if he guts anyone who challenges the rules I’ve set. Maybe that’s exactly why I keep him around,” I explained with a smile.

“Right, the whole cruelty thing,” Luna commented.

“Yep. Honestly I don’t like it either, but it’s the way things have worked down here forever. I’ll be right back, I’m going to set up some guards for you while you’re here,” I agreed before walking back to the portal, “Abaddon, grab Gamma One-Two and a couple others; they’re on guard duty.”

“Understood, I assume you want One-Two on the other side?” Abaddon asked.

“Yeah, same as always,” I confirmed with a sigh, remembering when One-Two wasn’t as erratic. Or outright batshit.

“Watcha want, Boss? Watcha want? What. Do. You. Want? TELL ME?!” Gamma One-Two asked fervently as he appeared on the other side of the portal.

“Follow Luna around, keep her safe while she’s in Tartarus. And for the love of everything, try to tone down the crazy,” I ordered.

“Mommy’s in danger? I’LL BATHE IN THEIR SKULL ORGANS!” The crazed enforcer raved as he charged through the portal and dived onto the first maid to come through the door.

“God fucking damnit, I can’t leave this asshole alone for five fucking seconds,” I complained as I walked over and yanked the enforcer off what was left of the comparatively helpless succubus.

“DANGER. THREAT. THREATS MUST DIE,” Gamma One-Two screamed as I hauled him back to where Luna stood in shock.

“Shut the fuck up,” I snarled, “I told you to watch over Luna, not tear into anyone who happens to be in the same room. Stand up, shut up, and don’t fucking move unless Luna’s life is in imminent danger. That means you can see a weapon or she calls for you.”

“You brought Fang here?” Luna asked as she recovered, “Why?”

“Only thing the demons fear more than me. With him hanging around, not even a hoard of greaters would try anything.”

“Was he always…” Luna trailed off, clearly trying her best not to notice the crimson enforcer audibly sniffing at her mane.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I replied.

“Try me,” Luna challenged.

“Uh Sire, may we enter?” One of the maids interrupted from the doorway.

“I’ll be right back,” I stated, slightly louder than before, “Apparently the staff has forgotten not to interrupt!”


Perspective Change: Gamma One-Two
216 Years Ago


“This is the one,” a muffled voice said.

“And the rest broke down?” asked a second voice. This one seemed to call to me, as though it was important. I couldn’t find the words to speak, but I could understand, and the new voice seemed sad about something. I began fidgeting against the tendrils hooked into my body, trying desperately to help the important voice however I could.

“Yes, I’m still trying to figure out what the pods ate that degraded their genetic structure,” Unimportant replied. I didn’t like the unimportant one.

“Whatever, I’ll just put the next one a mile or so further west. Ought’a do it,” Important reasoned. Important was so smart, so caring, moving the next ‘batch’ away from danger.

“Are you alright? You seemed to care more about my batch,” Unimportant accused. I snarled voicelessly towards Unimportant, though the tendrils in my arms prevented me from slashing my way out of this accursed pod.

“Your batch was interesting. It was a challenge. Now I’m just repeating the process over and over, it’s a chore,” Important droned, taking no offence to Unimportant’s words. I stopped my fighting as I pondered this, reaching the conclusion that Important was so kind that he instantly forgave Unimportant for his disrespect. I would show no such kindness when I got free of this pod that must’ve been made by Unimportant, there was no other possibility.

“Yes sir, I’ll gather the Romeos and clear a section of the forest,” Unimportant proposed. That word, sir, it gave me pause. I liked it when Unimportant said that word, showed his obedience to Important. The way it should be.

“You need nineteen dudes to cut down some trees? Hold on, let me pop the cork on this one and we’ll make it an even twenty,” Important countered in his wisdom. Twenty must be a good number.

“Sir, shouldn’t I open the pod? There’s no telling how this one developed yet, it could be hostile,” Unimportant suggested. Oh I’d be hostile all right, this was the second time Unimportant had spoken out of turn in my presence.

“Open your ears Dee, can’t you hear the pod shake every time you talk? Just get behind a tree or something before you get another piece taken out of your beak,” Important chastised. I was going to be rescued by Important himself!

One by one the tendrils fell away from my arms, allowing me to sever the rest myself and feast on the biomatter they left behind, though my prison remained full of some clear liquid. Without warning, a claw briefly pierced the side of my cell and barely avoided taking out one of my eyes. Another slashed across the bottom, causing the strange liquid to run out in a flood and sweet smelling air to rush in. The first claw returned to the hole it had made previously and cut a long line down the center of the pod, allowing me to catch my first glimpse of an incredibly bright brightness above us and a view of my saviour.

“Bright,” I groaned, attempting to shield my eyes from the brightness while maintaining my view of Important’s face.

“Yeah, I usually try to do this at night to make it easier on you lot, but Dopple needs another set of claws,” Important explained.

“Sir, I have to wonder about this one,” Unimportant said as he emerged from the bushes, revealing himself to be a catbird.

“Meh, solid red never hurt a ripper. And if that’s as far as the complications go, I’d call it a lucky break,” Important responded. I was confused, Important’s words sounded like they should be cheerful but his voice was still sad. Still, I looked down at myself and took in the differences between Important and myself.

Important was taller, so tall I could only see tree branches over his shoulders. A good height, a perfect height. I swelled with joy as I saw that we shared the same shape, until I felt my face and discovered that it wasn’t flat like Important’s. My face instead was shamefully long and ended in an unnatural muzzle. I decided that I didn’t like my face.

“Dee’s batch started out as some dickhead diamond dogs, the facial features turned out to be dominant enough to show but not annoying enough to edit out,” Important explained as he noticed my discomfort with his remarkable perception.

“How help?” I offered, struggling to get the words out.

“Not so fast, we still need to see how much memory bleed you have. Who am I?” Important asked.

“Important,” I answered confidently.

“Let’s try that again. What’s my name?” Important asked again, confusing me.

“Important,” I reiterated.

“Damn, you lost a lot. My name is Jekyll, the feathered one is Dopple,” Important-Jekyll corrected, causing my eyes to widen as I realized my blunder. I immediately threw myself at Jekyll’s feet and did my best to beg for forgiveness, “Woah, calm down. It’s not your fault.”

I remained silent, save for gagging sounds as I choked on the words I was attempting to say. Such mercy, and so soon after granting me my freedom. I finally found a single word my traitorous throat was willing to let pass, “Thank.”

“Your speech issues should mend themselves once we get some clean food in you. Come on, I’ve got some venison with your name on it. And you don’t need to thank me for anything; as weird as our setup is, I’m still technically your parent,” Jekyll informed me. I nearly bounced with joy at those last words, Jekyll was my father. I managed to restrain myself to a wide smile and some barely noticeable tremors, “Damn, those teeth though.”

“Yes, this one is clearly more malformed than simple discoloration and memory loss. I strongly suggest recycling its mass, or simply discarding it so it can’t taint further batches. I’d go as far as saying humoring it’s antics is a foolish waste-” Dopple managed before I pinned him to a tree and silenced him with a loud growl.

“You...do...not...dis...respect...father,” I stammered, having to breath after every word and fight for the next one.

“I dunno Dee, I think I like this one. Besides, you were the one that wanted to set up a guard division, might as well start with a zealot,” Jekyll reasoned. He took my side! I was so happy that I bit into Dopple’s neck on reflex, eliciting a cry of pain from the catbird and a spray of another strange liquid into my mouth, “Alright that’s enough, no more munching on your brothers and sisters.”

“Brother?” I asked, confused. Dopple didn’t look like Jekyll or I at all, how could he be my brother?

“Yeah, brother. Now get off me,” Dopple snapped. Embarrassed by my lack of control, I slowly backed away until I was back at Jekyll’s side.

“Don’t worry about it too much, I’m sure Dopple won’t hold it against you. After all, you’re, what, ten minutes old?” Jekyll reassured me, instantly lifting my spirits again.

“Five,” Dopple wheezed, “And if those teeth had been any longer, I wouldn’t even have the option of forgiving this defective piece of filth.”

Jekyll cut me off before I could growl at the catbird any further, “Easy Dee, sounding a little too much like Chelly there for my liking.”

“My apologies, that was too far. You, new one, I think we’ll get along as long as you don’t bite me again,” Dopple offered. I tilted my head as I considered his words, eventually resorting to nodding when my voice refused to work. After continuing to try to speak with the others watching me for a few more moments, I growled in frustration and drove my fist into a nearby tree.

“Well, at least I can save the venison. Go on then, eat your kill,” Jekyll ordered, causing me to look between him and the tree in confusion while working my jaw uselessly.

“Doesn’t even know how to consume biomatter,” Dopple mocked.

“Neither do you, give him a moment,” Jekyll chided. I stared at the fallen tree as I contemplated how to eat it. My teeth were too sharp to effectively chew the wood. But Dopple said consume, another word that seemed to echo through my mind again and again.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder after several minutes had passed, then my vision exploded. Sights, smells, memories. I was in Jekyll’s body, his taller frame was impossible to mistake. So many different creatures falling before his mighty claws and being ripped apart by lashing tendrils until nothing remained. I knew how to feed, my father had taught me how. There was a new feeling, almost pain, though I didn’t want to shrink away from it, deep in my torso. Father was looking out for me, and he had given me the opportunity to look out for him. I needed a word for this feeling.

“Did you break him?” Dopple asked, snapping out of my thoughts.

“Fine,” I managed, taking a moment to gather myself before attempting to send a swarm of tendrils into the tree as I had felt Father do. To my dismay, all I received was a single sickly tendril that flopped out of my arm and landed just short of my target.

“It’s easier to touch it first,” Father advised, gently taking my hand and walking me over to the tree, “You barely have enough biomass to hold yourself together, you won’t be throwing swarms for a while.”

As my hand made contact with the tree, I felt the sensation of the tree breaking down at my touch. I could feel myself getting stronger, I could feel myself sending tendrils into the parts of the tree I couldn’t reach without moving. Instinct took over, and half the tree was gone within a fraction of a second.

“What’s wrong? Birch not your style?” Father asked.

“Probably wants to share,” Dopple guessed. Why was he still here? Father told him to knock down his own trees. Dumb catbird and his dumb theories.

“Go ahead and take it all, I’m not going hungry anytime soon,” Father encouraged, softly pushing me towards the remains of the tree.

I tried to shake my head, but felt compelled to take the rest of the tree. After a second of fighting my own body, my arm snapped to my side, “No. Father cares me, I care Father. Not eat unless Father safe fed, then fix talk.”

“Well, I’ll be damned. You remember when I called this a chore, Dee? This just got fascinating,” Father commented.

“Based on observations so far, I’d hypothesize that he’s only taken enough biomass to fix his vocal system. He either hasn’t allotted enough biomass to speech, or he doesn’t have enough to do so,” Dopple replied, his tone mirroring Father’s.

“My thoughts as well. How about overpowering the control gene?” Father continued. I got the feeling this was a common practice, based on the way they spoke so casually without even glancing at one another.

“No idea, it shouldn’t be possible. Do you think it was corrupted by the same thing that destroyed his batch?” Dopple postulated.

“Easy enough to find out,” Father replied before his hand returned to my shoulder. I felt slightly uncomfortable as his palm merged with my arm, it shouldn’t be. I held myself still for him, doing my best to ignore the worming, tingly sensation spreading from the spot, “It’s fine, exactly the same as yours. I think this one’s just stubborn enough to overpower the damn thing.”

“Take deal?” I asked, unable to keep the relief out of my voice.

“Just to be clear, the deal is that you get to make sure I eat enough and in exchange you won’t fight my orders anymore?” Father confirmed.

“Yes,” I agreed.

“No matter what they are?” Father added.

“Yes,” I said again.

“Deal,” Father agreed, swinging his arm towards the remains of the tree. The tree was gone before I could follow the path of his tendrils. Truly the best and most powerful being ever, and I’d get to fight at his side. 

“Hungry,” I admitted, fully aware of, and incredibly frustrated by, my lack of vocabulary. The words formed in my mind, but couldn’t transfer into speech yet. 

“That venison is still on the table, or you can try your hand at hunting,” Father offered graciously.

“Hunt?” I asked, not understanding.

“Yeah, try to take down something a little more dangerous than an already dead deer. There’s a nest of cockatraces a couple miles to the southwest, if you’re interested. Just don’t look at them until they’re dead,” Father explained.

“Yes,” I agreed, starting to bounce in excitement again.

A few seconds passed before Father spoke again, “Go on then, you shouldn’t need me to hold your hand.”

“Teach?” I asked hopefully.

“I’d be happy to if you needed it, but your natural instincts should cover it well enough. Consider it a test if you want to,” Father replied, jolting me into motion. A test. I hadn’t considered a test. If I fail I’ll let Father down and he’ll hate me and I’ll get kicked out of the guards and that means I won’t get to fight with him. 

I ran for over an hour before I realized I was lost.


Three Days Later


“Home,” I breathed, finally laying eyes on the familiar cabin.

“Took ya a bit to find those chickens, eh?” A voice I had been dreading said from a tree to my left. I cringed as the voice’s owner dropped to the forest floor.

“Father, I-I’m so sorry. I ran off too quickly and got turned around in the forest, I vow to never fail you again,” I apologized, dropping to my knees. I knew now that I wasn’t worthy of being one of Father’s guards, a worthy guard would’ve found his way to his father’s side sooner.

“Fail? I’m fairly sure that you were supposed to find something to eat so you could fix your ability to talk, it would appear that you succeeded. I don’t recall any time limit, you?” Father replied, smiling. I was stunned, I was so sure I’d be assigned to some menial job after my imagined failure. But Father was Father, he couldn’t be wrong. 

“N-No sir, thank you,” I stammered.

“No problem. Now, let’s get down to brass tacks. Dee’s found another one of you guys that’s a fraction as protective as you to take the lead on this stuff, they’re getting everything set up right now. I want you to listen to what Gamma One-One says. Also, you’re Gamma One-Two now,” Father explained as he began pacing, crushing my newfound hope into the finely ground powder of despair. I was doomed to be held back by another one of my brothers, never allowed to protect Father as well as he deserved.

“Yes sir,” I droned, leaning back and dropping into a seated position as I processed this revelation.

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t want to be stuck pushing papers around all day and night,” Father continued, flashing me a sly grin. I understood then, he was making a joke. Jokes are funny. This was funny. I liked funny. I began trying to bounce on my heels, purely on reflex, before I realized I was moving my feet ineffectually in the dirt and only succeeding in carving small trenches. As I noticed this, an odd, halting, high pitched sound that began as an unconscious convulsion of my torso started forcing its way out of my mouth.

Heh. Heh heh heh. Ha hahahahhahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I said, unable to stop myself and terrified of what was happening to me. When whatever had taken hold of me finally stopped, I clamped my claws around my muzzle to keep anymore of the strange sounds from coming out.

“You alright? That was some crazy as fuck laughter but nothing to be scared of, I’m sure it was just the stress of these past few days finding an outlet,” Father reasoned, erasing my new fears. Father was always right. Father knew best.

“Y-Yes sir,” I replied after a moment make sure I wouldn’t start ‘laughing’ again.

“Can you say anything else?” Father asked, smiling again.

“Yes sir. Shit,” I cursed as I realized what I had done.

“Okay, we’re up to ‘yes sir’ and ‘shit.’ We’ll work on expanding your vocabulary later, for now you just worry about getting settled in,” Father continued, much to my chagrin, before waving for me to follow him. Without another word, I rose and followed Father as he walked around the cabin and explained how my job would work and what I was supposed to watch for.


Sixty-Four Years Later
(One Hundred Fifty-Two Years Ago)


“Father, may we talk?” I asked as we walked through the forest.

“Something on your mind other than this hydra? I’m shocked,” Father joked good naturedly.

“It’s...It’s Gamma Lead, he has a squad of Romeos following me. They don’t trust me, even after all these years,” I confessed, stopping. Father paused as well to regard me thoughtfully.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, nope,” Father replied after a short moment.

“Father, I’m being serious,” I complained.

“So am I. Gamma One-One can’t give orders to Romeos, Dopple has been having you followed since day one,” Father explained. I stepped back and bumped into a tree as I processed this revelation. Dopple, my eldest brother, had been tracking me since my first day? And Father allowed this?

“Why?” I asked fearfully.

“He’s been trying to figure you out and, in complete honesty, so have I. You’re something neither of us have seen before, you have some distinctly human mannerisms, you redefine stubborn when you want to, and you’ve got the whole family thing going. Dee’s damn terrified of you, so he’s trying to study you from a distance, but I prefer to learn firsthand, that’s why I started taking you with me on my hunts and bored afternoon walks. We’re curious,” Father explained calmly, his easy smile never faltering.

“You’re studying me?” I clarified, imagining Romeos with white coats prodding me while I was strapped to a table and unable to shift.

“As much as you’ve been studying me,” Father countered thoughtfully. What did…

“You can learn that much about something by talking to it? But how do you plan to discover how I breathe, or how much iron is in my blood, or how my cells are organized?” I ranted, my initial concern dissolving at the prospect of Father teaching me a new skill. 

“By asking how you breathe. By asking you how much iron is in your blood. By asking you how your cells are organized. But those aren’t relevant anyway, I want to figure out how you think,” Father replied, tapping a finger against my forehead.

“But I don’t know how I think,” I said in a mix of confusion and shame.

“No one does, don’t worry. I never expected you to be able to answer that, it wouldn’t be any fun,” Father replied.

“Fun?” I asked, still not understanding.

“Yeah, after I gave up on the whole skin Chelly alive thing I got bored pretty quickly. Trying to figure out how you developed more of a personality in three days than Dopple did in a hundred years has been a good project,” Father elaborated.

“I think I understand, but could you get Dopple to stop having me followed. I confronted them yesterday and they were less than polite about what they thought of me,” I requested.

“Do I need to have a chat with them about not picking on you?” Father offered.

“NO-I mean, no. I’ll be alright. But this is my natural form, I don’t understand what’s wrong with my skin or my teeth. Why don’t the others like me?” I asked, the root of my original point taking shape.

“We’re all Blacklight, and that brings us together, but you, Dopple, and I are unique. Now Dopple’s about as threatening as a housecat, so he’s a non-issue to the others. And I’m me, if you hadn’t noticed, so...yeah. But you’re the outlier, the weird one, and that separates you from the group. The way I see it, you have two choices: you can let this drag you down or you can take pride in your outcast status. You can get depressed about not being able to play their reindeer games or you can kick the table over and set the board on fire while screaming about how you don’t give a fuck,” Father raved, miming his described actions in an exaggerated manner that brought a genuine smile to my face.

“Thank you Father, I needed that.”


Fifty-Three Years Later
(Ninety-Nine Years Ago)


“One-Two, I got a job for you,” Father said quietly, but my ears had been trained on that glorious window for so long that he might as well have been standing next to me. I was inside and ready for battle in less than a second, finding only Father and Dopple inside. I threw a short growl Dopple’s way in greeting, before giving Father and the piece of burnt skin in his hand my full attention.

“Father,” I greeted as I knelt before him. 

“Ugh, why do you insist on doing that? I get enough of that shit from the crazy ass cultists. That’s actually why I need your help. There’s another group of crazies I need to break up and some greater demons are trying to take back Tartarus. Dopple has to stay here and maintain the illusion that keeps Chelly off my back, and I can’t leave the cultists for another day because they’ve already killed three ponies. That leaves you to put Tartarus back in order,” Father explained as he handed me the skin, I recognized the tentaclewriting as coming from the spymaster Father employed to watch his dark kingdom. The news from Tartarus wasn’t good, the spymaster claimed that over half of the greaters were involved and had mustered hundreds of thousands of imps to back them up.

“As you say: when it rains, it pours,” I commented as I gauged the strength of the force I would be facing.

“You have no idea. I assume you have a plan?” Father confirmed.

“Killing them is useless, I’ll need to make them want to submit to your righteous rule. I suspect a sufficient amount of pain should be enough, though threatening them may prove fruitful as well,” I mused, “I shall try both, starting with threats.”

“Same thing I’d do,” Father agreed, sending a tendril to retrieve the old sword hidden under his neglected bed, “I’ll come down after I get the cult sorted out, should only take a day or so.”

“Of course Father, I shall endeavor to have the demons pacified by then,” I replied, kneeling again as I accepted my mission. With a flourish and a groan, Father opened a portal for me that led directly into the palace courtyard. 

“Watch out for Graz, he’s got a thing for fire. Well, more than the others anyway,” Father cautioned as I stepped through and formed my claws.

“I shall Father, I won’t fail you,” I replied. Father nodded before closing the portal to begin his own important work. I’d prefer to go with him to dismantle the evil cult he was hunting, but I also knew the importance of my own mission. The trust Father was placing in me filled me with pride as I set off for where the spymaster had reported the greaters to be gathering.


Sixteen Hours Later


“What the fuck is going on here?” Jekyll asked furiously as he admired my work.

“You’ll be nice now, right?” I cooed to the greater demon in front of me. Somewhere I knew the demon couldn’t answer me, you need both jaws for that. And a throat that didn’t have broken bones jammed in it. And a tongue, but that was around here somewhere and could be jammed back in his ribcage. No, that was the last one. I had no idea where I’d thrown or shoved this demon’s parts, it was all a jumbled blur. But the greater’s silence, GROANS DON’T FUCKING COUNT I HATE GROANS, only served to infuriate me, “Right? Right?! RIGHT?!”

“One-Two, what happened here?” Jekyll asked again. I didn’t know why he was repeating himself so much lately, the answer was everywhere around us, “One-Two, I need you to talk to me right now.”

“Don’t worry daddy, they won’t upset you ever again. Isn’t thAT RIGHT?” I responded, my voice becoming a roar that made all of the demons I’d punished with squirm in FEAR and lies. The greater demons and imps, and some others, that had had the audacity to turn against Jekyll had been arranged in a beautiful net of limbs, entrails, and blood, each tied to those around them by their own organs. Occasionally one would twist and sever an artery with a broken arm or leg bone, USUALLY A FEMUR, and blossom into a gorgeous bloodflower before dissolving into ash like the traitorous dogs they were.

“It was too much for you, wasn’t it? Oh shit, I’m so sorry I sent you down here alone. But this is too far, One-Two, this is way too far,” Jekyll lamented. Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I take too long to make them be nice? DIDN’T I RIP OUT ENOUGH KIDNEYS FOR YOU TO LOVE ME?

“Fang,” I whispered, not taking my eyes off the demon before me.

“What? I don’t understand, just step away from the succubus and we can figure all of this out,” Father said with false calm. Father doesn’t lie to Fang, Father is perfect. But Jekyll’s tone lied.

“My name...is Fang,” I whispered again.

“Okay...Fang. Please stop cutting pieces off of my maid, Fang,” Father requested again. Maid? But all the maids are succubi, not greaters. THE GREATER DEMONS MUST SUFFER. 

“The greater demons must suffer,” I insisted, “You. Told. Me. To. Make. Them. BE. NICE.”

“You did, and you did an amazing job. But it’s over, they’ve given up. You won,” Jekyll replied as he slowly eased his way forward. He was preparing to pounce, he taught me the same stance. BETRAYAL, such a lonely word. I didn’t like that word. Treachery. I didn’t like that one either.

“Don’t you loVE Me anymore?” I sobbed as I lept to the side and made my own pounce.

“What happened to you?” the Boss asked sadly as his tendrils lept from the stone to ensnare me, thoroughly trapping me in the air. No matter how hard I flexed and struggled, I couldn’t get my claws close enough to any of his tendrils to do anything.

“Heh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAAAHAAAAHA,” I cackled helplessly, unable to do anything else but acknowledge the absolute hilarity of the position I had been suspended in.

“We’re going home and getting Dopple to fix this mess you’ve made while you and I have a little therapy session. I liked One-Two, he had potential, he had more humanity than any other enforcer I’d seen, and he sure as shit wouldn’t attack me without provocation. I want him back, Fang. Give him back to me,” the Boss demanded sternly, his anger rising as he carried me back towards the bright circle in the courtyard. One-Two and Fang, believed separate. BELIEVED BROKEN. 

“Sir, what happened here?” Catbird asked as we neared.

“I don’t know yet, but I aim to find out. In the meantime I want you to send the others through to help these poor bastards,” the Boss ordered. Catbird fell into motion like a good little soldier and rallied his menagerie of merry murderers to undo my wonderful art. I broke into blissful sobs when the first demon was allowed to regenerate. 


Three Years Later
(Ninety-Six Years Ago)


“Report,” Boss ordered as he stormed in on where my brothers had me contained. FOR NOW.

“Sir, it-” Dopple attempted feebly.

“He, Dopple, One-Two is still a he,” Father corrected tiredly. 

“He-He’s broken the second rule, he’s murdered an innocent,” Dopple continued, though hesitantly. Perhaps he didn’t hate me as much as he seemed. 

“Murder? Who did he kill?” Jekyll asked, his tone hardening again. 

“Some unicorn he found outside of town. We found part of a paper she had on her person, but only managed to piece together her last name: Lulamoon,” Dopple answered. NEVERMIND.

“Keep an eye out for missing pony posters, they’ll give us the full name, and mangle the corpse enough to claim a timberwolf attack. Hopefully Chelly’ll be stupid enough to miss this,” Boss ordered. 

“Father,” I attempted.

“You can shut your fucking face until I decide whether you’re too much of a fucking risk to recycle,” Boss snarled. I shrunk as far into my restraints as I could, confused at what had gone wrong.

“Sir, you believe his insanity might spread if consumed?” the damnable catbird asked. I wondered if Father would love me again if Dopple wasn’t around to poison his opinions.

“What the fuck else could it be? There has to be some problem with his biomatter, it’s the only fucking thing that can go wrong,” Jekyll continued, turning to punch idly at the nearest stone wall. The ensuing dust that fell from the ceiling forced him to stop before he accidentally buried us all, not that I would mind. DOPPLE WOULD BE DEADLE. HA. HA. HA.

“What shall we do with him?” Dopple asked.

“Gamma One-Two, would you kill anyone else if I let you go? Speak,” Jekyll demanded.

“Answer the question,” Dopple prompted when I didn’t speak.

“Fang, my name is Fang. My name is Fang. MY NAME IS FANG AND I’LL KILL THEM ALL IF IT MAKES YOU LOVE ME AGAIN!” I roared, causing the entire cave to rattle threateningly. This only made me laugh as Dopple eyed the ceiling nervously. 

“We had a deal. I kept my end, will you keep yours?” Father asked gently.

“When you love me,” I whispered, starting to cry as I realized how long it would take for him to accept my gifts.

“Keep him locked up, use the leviathan under Ponyville if you have to,” Father ordered as he walked out, his head hanging.

“That’s it? Just lock me up and FORGET ME? Is thAT ALL WE ARE?” I screamed.

“You could’ve been more,” Boss replied quietly, his voice echoing back down the cave as the other Gammas roughly forced me to my feet and led me out of the chamber. TRAITORS, ALL OF THEM.


Ninety-Six Years Later
(Forty Days Ago)


“FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOMMM,” I cried for the third time as I flew, THE FIRST TWO WERE WRONG, towards the Caribou Enclave and my target. This was my chance, my chance to show Father how much I cared. How much I deserved his love. How much better than Catbird I was. 

I could already hear the tastiest screams coming from the streets below, the High Chaplain must know that I needed his skull. His skull was the key, I MUST HAVE IT. Yes, it will be found and make the best gift for Father. So good he will have to LOVE ME.

“Begone demon, you are not welcome in this holy place. I name you Banikknek and cast you out,” a caribou wearing a fancy hat declared from a nearby balcony, causing me to hover as I decided on how to handle this new development. I could always throttle the insolent insect, I’d get his cool hat to boot. Or I could attempt to reason with him and try to find my target. 

“ARE YOU THE HIGH CHAPLAIN?” I asked as the life left the caribou’s eyes. To be safe, I took the priest’s hat and head. Unfortunately, the hat fell off my head as I took off and I lost it in the streets below. At least the head was securely affixed to my hip with a tendril running in through the left eye and out along the spinal cord, it wasn’t going anywhere.

“Warriors, I call upon you to perform your sacred duty to-” His hat had gold trim, fancy.

“ARE YOU THE HIGH CHAPLAIN?” Another skull for Father.

“Please don’t hurt us, we’re just caretakers.”

“Foul demon, your attack on the faithful ends this day!”

“No, please, no.”

“I’m just a builder, I’m not even a chaplain. Please let me go.”

Caribou after caribou made their pleas or denied their guilt, all fell to my claws. I had to be sure, I HAD TO KNOW. Eventually I found a maid that told me the priests lived in the high towers that dotted the city, these towers became my targets. The High Chaplain had to be in one of them, but I found something else in the first one I tore into.

“Lord Grathem, thou who art above, please guide us through this trial as you have in days before and beyond. Grant us the strength and wisdom to see us through and find a better time in the evermore,” The priest prayed, her head pressed to the floor of the finery filled room.

“Are you done yet? I have a question for you,” I asked impatiently.

“Yes, the wheels that turn shall decide if my prayers are heard,” The priest replied.

“If you answer my question, I’ll leave peacefully. Sound good?” I offered with a friendly smile.

“This is agreeable, this one shall answer any question she is able,” The priest agreed.

“All I need to know is...ARE YOU THE HIGH CHAPLAIN?” I roared directly into the priest’s face.

“No,” The priest answered.

“May I ask another question?” I requested, returning to my friendly tone.

“You may,” the priest allowed.

“Where would I find the High Chaplain?” I pressed.

“That answer must be traded for another. Why do you seek the leader of our faith?” the priest countered.

“I need his skull to make Father love me again,” I confided, my voice dropping conspiratorially. I didn’t know why I was being so honest and merciful with this one, it might’ve been because she was fearless in the face of my dripping claws. It might’ve been some notion in the back of my mind that priests were people you were supposed to be able to confide in. Or it might’ve been the fact that this particular priest was VERY pregnant. Babies can’t betray you, I liked babies.

“This one sees, this is troubling. This one is torn between honoring our deal and honoring my oath to assist all whom this one is able. This one requests that you stay with me for a moment and allow me to do both,” the priest offered. STALLING. AMBUSH.

“Okie dokie,” I agreed, sitting down in front of the priest and staining her fancy rug with the blood of her friends and coworkers.

“You will find the High Chaplain in the highest point of the highest tower,” the priest said before pausing, “This one expected you to have killed me and left by now, it seems Lord Grathem, praise him, has heard my prayers. Have you considered looking for love in anything other than your sire?”

“No,” I answered bluntly, my claws twitching reflexively.

“This one can still remember a time when she was much like you, cast out from your fellows and forced to beg for scraps lest you starve. My sire was one of the builder caste, yet he did not follow the faith in our home. He cared little about his progeny, and we often went without our holy bindings or food. Then this one was found by a member of the faith, a chaplain like myself, and taken from that den of neglect to begin life anew as a member of the same faith that had saved me. This one found a love here that she had never known, the love of a supreme being. This one believes she can offer you the same salvation she was given, she believes you will be happy in the light of our Lord,” the priest preached, though I was only hearing insults. SHE CALLED FATHER NEGLECTFUL.

“What are you asking me to do?” I asked warily.

“This one asks nothing of you, she merely wishes to show you what you would ask of yourself,” the priest tempted.

“And that is…” I pressed.

“To throw off the chains of your sire, to free yourself in the light of our Lord, and to find your happiness in the service of the faith,” the priest elaborated, blind to the obvious signs of my building rage.

“I will noT BETRAY FATHER,” I declared, punching the floor and causing a crack to run all the way to the wall.

“And why not? By your own admission he shows you no love. By your own admission he demands horrible things of you. By your own admission you have to fight for his approval. Why wouldn’t you turn to the light and forsake such a hor-” the priest’s severed head bounced off the wall and rolled across the floor.

“Do. Not. DISRESPECT. FATHER,” I screamed at the severed head before realizing what else I had done, “Poor babies, I don’t have time to save you. Kay bye.”

“Stop demon, there’s nowhere to run to now. You will pay for your attack on the faith,” A voice called through the door. It was true enough, there were too many heads hanging from my waist and back to allow for quick movements. At least, not without risking damage to them. HAVE TO BE SURE, CAN’T BE SURE IF THE HEADS ARE DEFORMED.

“ARE YOU THE HIGH CHAPLAIN?” I called back.

“You’ll be seeing his holiness very soon, from the comfort of a warded cell,” the voice promised.

“Kay,” I agreed, sitting down.

“You’re surrendering? The trial is over? Thank you Lord Grathem for this blessing, may we all be found worthy to bask in your light,” the caribou praised, his relief evident through the door.

“Can we move this along a bit, I’m getting bored. Also your priest lady kinda smells and it’S BOTHERING ME,” I requested.

“Warriors, it is your sacred duty to the light of Lord Grathem to bring this demon to the warded cell below Picrow Tower to await its banishment back to Tartarus. May you walk in the light and see this holy mission through safely and free of sin. Blessed be his name, may we be worthy,” The first voice proclaimed? Ordered? Preached? Don’t know, DON’T CARE.

“May we be worthy,” several other voices chorused before a number of warriors burst into the room and attempted to force me to lay down. THEY FAILED. Eventually they gave up and asked me to follow them. I beheaded the long-winded priest in the hallway on principle as we passed, my escorts didn’t like that.

As my guides led me into the street and towards the tall tower, more priests, AND POSSIBLE HIGH CHAPLAINS, began appearing on the balconies of the other towers and encouraged a crowd to form so that they may ‘witness the power of their lord and deliver his disdain unto the wicked.’ needless to say, the rest of the city's citizenry gathered on the sides of the streets, LIKE GOOD LITTLE SHEEP, to jeer and spit on me. I quickly got bored and tried to make a game out of trying to catch their expelled fluids with my mouth. My escorts didn’t like that either.

The crowds slowly dispersed as the priests leading them lost their momentum, allowing my escorts to settle their stomachs and continue leading me to my destination. I decided to remain silent as I was led through the doors, mostly because it was visibly disturbing the guards. I found the cell lacking, the bars were actually bars. Carving shapes into the iron wouldn’t do much beyond weakening the structure and making it easier to break free. Being a shapeshifter that could simply go around them notwithstanding. Either way, I opted to let my prey come to me.

“Greetings Fang, we’ve been waiting for you,” a sinister sounding voice greeted from the shadows of my cell.

“Catbird!” I replied jovially.

“Uh, no,” the voice responded.

“Yes you are, just not in person,” I argued.

“I guess that’s true enough, I do have a message from Dopple,” the traitor hinted before diving at me with a cylindrical device in his hand.

“Poor imitation,” I criticized as I dodged around the traitor’s attack and embedded my claw in his back. The traitor ceased to exist within seconds, leaving only the odd device to show he was ever there, “Nobody gets to lose their shit but me.”

“Bravo, quite the display of combat prowess. It’s a shame you refused my disciple’s offer, the faith could use a warrior like you. Your father is lucky to have such a devoted servant,” a new voice praised.

“Are you the High Chaplain?” I asked the new arrival.

“I am,” the caribou answered.

“I need your skull,” I stated.

“So I’ve gathered from the number of my followers hanging from you,” the caribou commented, falling silent.

“Are you giving up? I was hoping for an exciting chase through all these rooms before leading out into the streets, maybe have a saxophone playing a do do dododododo do do dododo thing. I’m really feeling let down here,” I complained.

“Would that do me any good?” the High Chaplain asked.

“Well, no. But it would at least be fun,” I replied.

“I’m a priest, we don’t get to have fun. And I think I’d like my skull to stay where it is, thank you. So you’ll be staying in that cage until I can have you shipped back to your father. I’m sure he’s eagerly awaiting your victorious return, won’t it kill him to see you as a failure,” the high chaplain rebutted, his friendly tone becoming a sneer.

“He already does, this is my redemption. Please, I REALLY need your skull,” I begged, moving to hold the bars of my cell.

“Hmmm, no. I didn’t climb through the ranks of this ridiculous religion just to let some insane punk kill me now. You’ll rot in that cell for the rest of your days, I’m not giving Jekyll the key. You’ll be his constant reminder of why you don’t mess with the Enclave,” the High Chaplain bragged.

“Blah blah blah, ya want a handjob with that?” I mocked.

“A what now?” the caribou asked, confused.

“C’mere and I’ll show you. It’s a dominance thing, right up your alley,” I tempted.

“I suppose that would be fine. After all, no demon can reach past those wards,” the High Chaplain agreed, walking right up to me.

“You have to turn around,” I deadpanned after a few moments. This High Chaplain clearly wasn’t as smart as he thought he was. As soon as his back was turned, I slipped through the bars and tore out the fool’s spinal column. Once I had the High Chaplain’s head and spine attached to my back, I began wandering towards the entrance.

“Halt demon, in the name of Lord Garthem!” a suicidal warrior called as I left the cellblock. After granting this poor soul’s request for death, I continued on my merry way. I found the streets empty when I emerged, the only signs of life being the various forgotten and abandoned tools and other items. 

“I told him that you wouldn’t be stopped by the wards. But he had to try anyway, such a waste of life,” a voice lamented from behind me. Turning, I found the caribou I had just killed standing next to a minotaur wearing a gilded cloak.

“You died,” I pointed out.

“No,” the High Chaplain replied.

“Yes,” I insisted.

“No,” the High Chaplain argued.

“I’M WEARING YOUR SPINE,” I roared.

“You’re wearing my brother,” the caribou responded.

“Then you’re my target. I NEED YOUR SKULL,” I demanded.

“If my understanding of your father is accurate, he instructed you to duel me in honorable combat and concede defeat if my champion or I manage to land what would be a fatal blow. Am I mistaken?” the High Chaplain asked.

“No,” I admitted.

“Then you will face my champion?” the High Chaplain continued.

“Yes,” I conceded grumpily.

“Good. You may attack when ready minotaur,” the High Chaplain instructed. The large minotaur shrugged off his cloak to reveal the battered iron armor and large war ax concealed underneath. I allowed him to make a single swing before his head was added to my collection.

“You realLY NEED BETTER FIGHTERS,” I laughed as I closed in on the High Chaplain, who was looking around desperately for assistance.

“I submit, do what you will,” the caribou sighed once he was firmly pressed against the side of a building.

“Not going to fight? You might get in a lucky hit, who knows,” I tempted.

“We both know that I don’t have a prayer of surviving this, please follow your father’s example and make it painless. Would you grant me that one last wish?” the doomed priest requested.

“Okay,” I agreed as my claw cleanly bisected the caribou’s neck. Just to be sure, I sent a tendril through the ear canal and scrambled his brain. LAST REQUESTS ARE IMPORTANT.

With my mission complete, I reformed my wings and lifted off. My respite from captivity lasting an entire two days, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything because I was one step closer to earning Father’s love.


Present Day


Mommy just stared at me as I concluded my story, only blinking when her eyes dried out to the point of causing her pain, “I-I see. Your story was very...lucid.”

“I have my moments,” I replied happily.

“I’m still trying to figure out some things though. Such as: if Jay’s attention is your ultimate goal, then wouldn’t you think of me as a threat to you? You seemed to think of Dopple in this way,” Mommy asked.

“Catbird was always a threat, he just stopped being sneaky about it. As for you… Good boys listen to their mommies and keep them safe, fathers love good boys. Therefore, by listening to you and keeping you safe it will make me a good boy and Father will LOVE ME,” I cried excitedly.

“I have met changelings less obsessed with love,” Mommy praised, seeming surprised when I hugged her for the compliment.

“Okay...I definitely missed something important,” Father commented as he returned to us from the pile of recently disciplined maids. Good housekeeping STARTS AT THE TOP.

“Fang likes me and I’m going to have nightmares again,” Mommy summarized. I nodded at the first part of her brief, yet VALIDATED, synopsis but couldn’t understand the later part. Why would she have nightmares? Can I KILL THEM? MAKE THEM BLEED? NOTHING HURTS MOMMY!

“Slow your roll, you can’t skin a nightmare alive. This is an issue for me to fix,” Father advised wisely, reminding me of how great he was.

“I’ll be fine for now, should I introduce myself to the staff?” Mommy asked.

“Only if you want to. Just remember to treat them like you’re leagues above them in status, like the dirt on your hooves is at least three stations above them,” Father instructed. Even to me, Tartarus was weird.

“I get the feeling that I’m still just getting started,” Mommy groaned.
> Chapter 19: To Hell and Back
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna


A knock at the door cut off any further conversation. Glancing over, I saw a being that could only be another of Catrix’s species peeking nervously through the slightly ajar door. Although, unlike Catrix, this one was fully dressed in a flowing, pitch black dress.

“Enter,” Jekyll ordered, his voice neutral.

“Yes your majesty,” the maid squeaked, sprinting through the doorway and coming to an abrupt stop a few feet away from the rest of us. She was quickly joined by three more of her kind before they all made to kneel. The first one stopped partway down and nudged the others before straightening.

“What was that?” I whispered.

“Kneeling is to say that you are beneath another. I will never kneel to anyone or anything, nor will I allow others to do the same before me. I hold the same disdain for bowing as well. Instead, I have the staff wait patiently for me to address them,” Jekyll explained loudly enough for the succubi to receive a gentle reminder of the policy.

“I see, and what do these ones do exactly?” I asked, doing my best to sound disinterested.

“They’re supposed to keep the entire palace spotless, on the off chance that I’ll be stopping by, but they are also responsible for tending to the desires of any guests I entertain. Until I arrange for a more permanent steward for you, they’ll handle your needs and wants,” Jekyll replied as he started wandering in circles around the maids.

“A personal steward? I assume you have on in mind? One befitting a queen?” I continued haughtily, though internally I was fighting the urge to smile.

“Harry keeps a record of all he finds appropriate for the job, I’ll be speaking to him about it. I trust you will be capable of keeping the maids in line while I’m away? As the first queen of Tartarus, I’m sure they’ll be dying to make a good impression,” Jekyll responded, pausing to backhand a maid that looked his way in surprise.

“I believe four succubi will be quite easy to manage, you need not worry about me husband,” I replied, finally turning my attention to the maids as Jekyll nodded and walked out, “I understand it is customary to be cruel to your underlings?”

“It is, my queen,” the maid that had been slapped responded, a purple hand print was already beginning to form on the side of her face.

“And what do you think of this tradition?” I continued, my voice remaining indifferent.

“Our thoughts are irrelevant, it is the way things are. Only royal advisors, stewards, and concubines are permitted to speak candidly, and even then there are limits,” one of the other maids answered.

“Yet you are also required to follow my orders, are you not?”

“We are.”

“Then I order you to speak to me as though I were another of your station, as I tire of this ridiculous charade. I am not a cruel person, I refuse to pretend as though I were,” I declared, sitting down with a huff before offering them a friendly smile. The one I received was not as nice.

“The queen is weak.”

“One of us should be queen.”

“We’d have to get rid of the old one first.”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“One word: Fang,” I replied simply, placing a hoof over my eyes for a moment as I tried to figure out where I had gone wrong. By the time I removed my hoof, all of the maids were on the ground and groaning in pain, “I may not speak or act like a tyrant, but I have plenty of friends that are capable of doing so.”

“We will not trouble you again, mistress,” the maid that had started the conflict promised as she attempted to push her eye back into its socket.

Jekyll chose that moment to poke his head back into the room, bark a laugh at the situation, and leave again.

“And our future conversations will be less formal?” I pressed, choosing to ignore the brief interruption. I felt more then heard Fang tense behind me, clearly eager for more of his brand of fun.

“Yes mistress,” the maids chorused emotionlessly.

“Now that just won’t do. My name is Luna, I get enough of that mistress nonsense from the enforcers,” I griped.

“You want us to call you by name?” The cyclopean maid asked.

“We would be lashed for our insolence if we were to do that,” another added.

“We will be lashed if we refuse,” a third pointed out fearfully.

“Hold on. Hold on. Don’t panic. How about this, you drop the honorifics when it’s just us and follow the normal rules in public?” I proposed.

“It could work…” the one-eyed maid mused.

“The risk is too great,” another argued.

“I like it.”

“As do I.”

“The vote is cast, we shall pursue an alliance with Queen Luna,” One-Eye declared.

“We call it friendship on the surface,” I deadpanned.

“Friendship?” the maids asked as one.

“You don’t know about… But how? Cat knew what I was talking about,” I stammered.

“Catrix? We do not speak to her, she has been shunned,” One-Eye replied.

“Why?” I asked, surprised.

“She did not follow the proper path to attain her position, she cheated by exploiting a prior relationship with his majesty. We too were deprived of the path, though we were forgiven because his majesty chose us at random,” One-Eye explained.

“And the path is…” I prompted, though I regretted asking before the maid had even opened her mouth.

“We must prove that we are worthy of serving the king by impressing those he favors with lordship. This can be with how well we keep the chambers clean or with how well we-” One-Eye began.

“I believe I know how the other path goes, my room is right next to Cat’s,” I interjected quickly.

“As you say. The problem is that his majesty does not favor any greater demons with lordship, nor any incubi. We cannot advance along the proper paths,” One-Eye continued.

“That’s because he hates them. To be honest, I think I’m starting to as well. Well, not the greaters, I haven’t heard anything about them yet other than that they revolt occasionally,” I responded.

“You hate the incubi? Why?” One-Eye gasped, her remaining eye widening.

“I’ve heard enough about Cat’s past to know that I don’t want one anywhere near me. The horrors she endured at their hooves-” I began.

“Claws,” One-Eye corrected.

“-At their claws is more than I could ever imagine surviving, much less remaining sane through,” I concluded.

“Catrix forgets her place, we are meant to accompany them. Two pieces of the same puzzle. Our purpose is to provide pleasure, theirs is to seek it. Although you are not wrong about one thing: you would not survive a coupling with an incubus, ponies are not as durable as we are,” One-Eye replied confidently, the others nodding their support.

“Cat’s place is wherever she wants it to be. If that means she doesn’t want to see another incubus in her life, then I will personally make sure that she doesn’t,” I declared, stomping a hoof loudly to accentuate my point.

“Found you a stewart!” Jekyll called from the hallway before kicking the door open and dragging a type of demon I hadn’t seen before into the room, not that it was hard to figure out what now lay at my hooves.

“I literally just finished a rant about how much I despise incubi,” I pointed out.

“Tough, he’s the only one I can trust not to try anything,” Jekyll retorted. The unnamed incubus shivered slightly in response.

“The mind controlling, rapey demon is the one you trust?” I asked neutrally, holding myself still lest I blast the demon through the wall.

“Most of the rippers have sworn their services to the greaters or are part of the palace guard, the rest are too far away from the city to help right now. The greaters themselves have been called into question as I know at least one is working with Dopple. And I’ve gelded this little bastard more than a couple times, he knows what’ll happen if he tries anything,” Jekyll explained, kicking the incubus when it was mentioned.

“And that is?” I pressed, inwardly wondering why I kept asking questions when I knew that I didn’t want to know the answers.

“Carl, tell your queen what’ll happen if you break the rules,” Jekyll ordered.

“My name is-” Carl attempted.

“Your name is too fucking hard to say. You’re Carl now, get used to it,” Jekyll snapped.

“As you say, your majesty,” Carl responded meekly, “I am not permitted to use my abilities in your presence nor touch you in any way, no exceptions. The punishment for failing to follow these rules is tort-”

“I didn’t say torture,” Jekyll growled, “I said I’d peel your dick like a banana and crucify you to keep you like that for eternity.”

Carl just whimpered and shuffled away from me.

“What about the maids? What’s to stop him from taking advantage of them?” I continued.

“Carl buddy, you wouldn’t mistake my cleaning staff for a bunch of playthings would you? ‘Cause I’d have to make an example out of you if you did,” Jekyll cooed to the prone demon.

“I suppose that will have to do,” I sighed, “Get up Carl, I want to know what your kind looks like other than in a fetal position.”

“Yes, my queen,” Carl replied as he moved to stand, giving me a good view of his form for the first time. His shape wasn’t too different from Jekyll’s until you reached his waist, at which point it looked like the body of a pony; scales and clawed feet notwithstanding. However, my new steward was still refusing to stand up straight, all four of his legs remained bent inward.

“Interesting, I didn’t realize your kind were quadrupeds. Your barrel looks to be almost as large as my own, yet the biped style torso gives you a definite height advantage. Straighten your knees, I want to see exactly how tall you are,” I ordered. ‘Oh, that’s what he was hiding. I don’t see what the big deal is, aside from the spikes it doesn’t...by the stars, it starts at his hind legs.’

“Hey! Stop drooling, you have to clean that shit up,” Jekyll snapped, causing me to wipe at my mouth unconsciously before I recognized that he was talking to the maids.

“Jay, could I speak to you? In private?” I requested.

“You heard her, get the fuck out,” Jekyll ordered, forcefully throwing Carl into the hallway for the maids to follow. The door slammed of its own accord as soon as the last maid crossed the threshold.

“What the fuck?” I began eloquently.

“I’d neuter him again, but he’d just off himself to get it back,” Jekyll shrugged.

“If he sat down it’d be taller than Cat…” I continued, wondering how the two could possibly...enjoy each other’s company.

“Don’t ask, it was hard enough for me to see,” Jekyll advised.

“And the spikes…” 

“Are there to keep the victim in place and give the incubi the screams they crave,” Jekyll explained, sending a chill down my spine.

“And the maids…” 

“Don’t know anything else. They believe that it’s perfectly acceptable and normal to have all of your organs ripped out through your ass multiple times a day.”

“But that’s horrible,” I commented distantly, my mind wandering back to the demon’s fifth leg.

“Oi, stay with me now,” Jekyll said suddenly, making a snapping sound with one hand in front of my eyes.

“Gah, what?” I exclaimed, startled by Jekyll’s sudden change in demeanor.

“You blanked out for almost a minute there. I said that they’re too stuck in the old ways to see it for what it is,” Jekyll replied.

“I-I see, and why am I being affected?” I asked, becoming concerned.

“You aren’t, he wasn’t using any level of mind control in there,” Jekyll responded, tilting his head slightly.

“He had to have been, it isn’t like me to daydream; much less about discovering what that...thing tastes like,” I nearly shouted.

“How sure are you that your cycle is over? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard of life threatening situations bringing on a second heat,” Jekyll countered. I stopped as I thought about the last few days and gave my body more of my attention, discovering a familiar itch.

“Shit,” I swore.

“Your parents really dropped the ball on the whole birds and bees talk, double cycling isn’t that rare in unstable areas,” Jekyll continued.

“Unstable? You mean unsafe. I may just be trying to distract myself at this point, but explain as much about the reasons why as you can. Try to be boring,” I requested.

“Sure. It’s a prey response that occasionally follows up the fight or flight response. In short, your body decides that you’re probably going to die soon so it tries to pass on its genes as soon as possible. Bit of an evolutionary leftover from when you lot were herd animals. I only know three ways to end it, either wait two days or get pregnant,” Jekyll explained. Despite his lecturing way of speaking, every word drove me insane.

“You said three, what’s the last one?” I asked, already starting to squirm as the hormones running through my brain took more and more of my rationality.

“Dunno. Cat has some miracle cure, but nobody’ll tell me what it is,” Jekyll replied.

“And she’s occupied until morning at least. Uhhhh, I don’t even want to think about that stupid incubus’s stupid...big…” I trailed off, earning myself a sharp tap on the nose for my wandering mind.

“I’ll make him wear a uniform, something that covers his lower body. And you don’t need to see him again until morning anyway, this was just a little meet and greet,” Jekyll comforted.

“Okay, let me just-FUCK!” I swore again as I remembered something very important.

“Your little friend is in Cat’s room?” Jekyll guessed.

“Yeah,” I confirmed dejectedly.

“At least your record is better than mine, I lost my gun in Canterlot,” Jekyll consoled, placing a hand on my neck.

“Tonight is going to suck,” I declared as a wandered toward the giant bed.

“Hey, have you seen One-Two? He wasn’t next to you when I came back,” Jekyll asked as I gently laid myself down on the sheets.

“Yet another comforting thought,” I commented as I tried in vain to find a comfortable position. Now that I had acknowledged it, that itch was becoming more and more irritating.

“Are you okay? You weren’t like this before,” Jekyll asked as he noticed my obvious discomfort.

“It’s awful, I’ve never felt like this before. It’s normally just annoying and I can ignore it easily enough, but now I feel like there are ants biting my flanks. Ug, why did you have to tell me? Now that I know it’s happening, I can’t pull my thoughts away,” I complained. The thought of talking Jekyll into scratching that itch wormed its way into my mind.

“I could make some sedatives for you, they’d keep you from feeling it so badly,” Jekyll offered, though even he seemed like his mind was somewhere else. Mine was currently on the blank space where his legs met.

“I don’t know, can’t you think of any other way to help me?” I pleaded, powerless to the strength of this mind-clouding, painful feeling coursing through my veins.

“I know what you want,” Jekyll said simply, “The answer is no, I won’t let your first real time be like this. I realize that you’re still you, but it shouldn’t just be to fulfill some base instinct. You’re better than that, and you deserve better.”

I started crying as I realized what I was doing, yet my body rolled me onto my back anyway. I sobbed openly as my body continued to beg for relief despite my wishes, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I’m doing this.”

Jekyll remained silent, causing me to lose track of him through my blurred vision. He revealed his new position when he pulled me into his lap and started stroking my mane.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I continued running my hand through Luna’s mane until she fell asleep almost an hour later. I spent the entire time mentally berating myself for bringing her obvious issue to her attention. If I had simply held my tongue or lied, it might’ve passed quietly. ‘I know better, I’ve made this mistake before.’

“Boss?” a voice asked quietly. Glancing up, I found Harry waiting patiently by the door.

“Is hell more on fire than normal?” I asked tiredly.

“Slightly, but that isn’t important. I was simply concerned for the queen,” Harry revealed.

“Since when do rippers care about the health of others?” I whispered, my nerves fraying already.

“I may be a ripper, but I am also your steward and chief secretary. It’s my duty to care for the royal family, whether it’s in my nature or not. Will she be alright?” Harry pressed.

“Yes, it’ll just take a few days. Nail Carl to something, I don’t want him catching her scent, you’ll take over as her steward until she’s back to normal. We’ll go back to the surface in the morning, Abaddon is better equipped to care for her,” I reasoned.

“Maybe he should smell me! I bet he’d have the nerve to help me!” Luna seethed, revealing her return to wakefulness.

“Carl would kill you without a second thought. We’ll get you back to your nice warm pod, toss you your toy, and lock the door until you feel better. Doesn’t that sound good?” I proposed.

“Sure, just lock away your problems. Why bother fixing anything when you can just wait for it to go away? Fucking coward,” Luna snapped.

“The weight of inaction is sometimes the heaviest,” I replied.

“Perhaps the hardest road isn’t always the best choice,” Harry offered.

“I like him, how about you get out and he can fuck me until I feel better,” Luna suggested angrily.

“I’m afraid I’m not equipped for that ma’am,” Harry pointed out.

“Well shit, I guess my useless husband will have to actually do his job,” Luna grumbled, “Are you still here? That was your cue to leave.”

“Only a shout away, as ever,” Harry offered before departing, even going so far as to quietly close the door.

“I’m starting to doubt that priest, I don’t think you even can-”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” I snapped as I placed my hand over Luna’s face and dumped a near lethal dose of sedatives into her bloodstream. She was snoring loudly soon enough afterwards.

I kept my eyes on the portal through the hours of the night until Abaddon formed a secondary on the other side and tapped at his wrist, to which I pointed to the sedated alicorn in my lap and shook my head. Abaddon shrugged before retreating back into the deck.

Celestia actually did her job a few minutes later, though I suspected I’d be hearing about it the next time we spoke.

“Alright, I think that’s enough time here,” I commented to myself before lifting Luna into my arms and carrying her through the portal.

“Sir, what happened?” Tzu asked worriedly as soon as I crossed over.

“Double cycle, brought on by those damn fucking spiders. Fuck, they’re all dead and they’re still giving me problems,” I griped.

“How bad?” Tzu continued, moving to clear my path.

“Chilly was worse, but she’s definitely not herself. How’s Cat?” I asked.

“Indisposed, same for Miss Dash, though you’ll only hear complaints from them at this point,” Tzu reported.

“I don’t think I want to know, but I’m going to have to brave that room anyway. Lay it on me,” I ordered.

“Miss Dash is almost entirely inside Miss Catrix, only her head remains visible. I’ve tried to separate them, but everything I’ve attempted has been painful for one or both of them,” Tzu replied.

“She unbirthed Dash? That’s a new one. This is going to be a problem. You can’t kill Cat without torching Dash in the process, and Dash won’t let anyone she doesn’t trust come in to surgically separate them. It’ll have to be the two of us,” I concluded, shaking my head as I laughed at the insanity of the past twenty four hours.

“Miss Dash doesn’t wish to see me right now,” Tzu added.

“And why is that?” 

“I was instructed by Miss Catrix to do things, things that didn’t feel natural,” Tzu responded hesitantly.

“Before of after this current problem manifested?” I pressed.

“After,” Tzu replied.

“You dog,” I joked, “But seriously, convert the pod while I get Lu in place.”

“Yes, sir.”

Once we reached the room and got Luna safely locked away, I turned my attention to the room housing my next abomination of a problem.

“Sup Dashrix,” I called in greeting as I strode into the room.

“Buck you,” Dash responded.

“What’s your problem?” I asked rhetorically.

“I’m stuck in here and I have to pee,” Dash shot back.

“Cat?” I inquired, though Catrix didn’t seem to care.

“I told her to just go and take a shower later, I’m going to slit my throat as soon as she’s out. OW, fuck that hurt!” Catrix cried as a bulge appeared on her side for a moment.

“You can’t kill yourself, I went through all of this so you’d remember the stuff we talked about last night,” Dash argued.

“That doesn’t give you the right to kick my ovaries,” Catrix countered with a pout.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m tempted to leave you two like this. Your bickering is hilarious,” I commented.

“Shut up!” they both shouted in unison.

“Abaddon, get me a chair and see if Discord has any popcorn,” I ordered, receiving a rectangular formation on the wall to sit on while Abaddon found a better chair.

“What are you doing in there anyway? I can feel you moving around,” Catrix asked.

“I’ve been alternating between trying to push myself out and trying to rub at my neck. Between you and your coltfriend, I’m not exactly up for long conversations,” Dash snarked.

“Then I’ll just leave you be for a while, you did take a bit of a beating last night,” Catrix agreed.

“Horseapples,” Dash swore a few minutes later.

“And that’s what I was waiting for, time to get you out of there,” I announced.

“You were waiting for me to pee? Why would you make me do that?” Dash asked, sounding betrayed.

“You would’ve anyway, at least it’s contained like this,” I shrugged as I grabbed Catrix’s legs.

“Wait a second, what are you doing?” Dash asked, her tone turning fearful.

“This,” I replied simply as I tore both of Catrix’s hips out of their sockets and laid them out of my way.

“I could’ve done that for you,” Catrix deadpanned.

“Really? Without being able to see what you’re doing?” I challenged.

“I still could’ve dislocated them,” Catrix insisted.

“I’d still need to do the next part myself. Hey Dash, do you know how Cat crammed you in there?” I asked, worming my fingers along Dash’s neck.

“Tail first?”

“No, I meant how Cat could even do this. Succubi have four hip bones, and if you put enough force on them…” I explained as I did just that and caused Rainbow Dash to spill out of her fleshy prison.

“Freeeeeeeeedom!” Dash cheered from her new position on the floor.

“And I’m mostly intact, how did you know that?” Catrix asked.

“The Fang incident, he tore apart one of the maids and I could see most of her skeleton,” I answered.

“Fascinating, I didn’t even know I had four hips and I’ve had my skeleton my whole life. Whatever the case may be, I really want to go for a walk right now,” Catrix stated as her legs flipped back down and audibly popped back into their sockets.

“Me too, but where should we go?” Dash asked.

“How about to a fucking shower? Both of you are gross right now, even by my standards. And I eat people alive, my standards are pretty fucking low,” I suggested, “Also, Lu’s doubling pretty hard right now and needs...whatever the fuck you give ponies in her position.”

“A what now?” Dash asked, confused.

“Poor thing, I’ll need Tzu and three squads of Mikes. Once they get all the stuff I’ll need, she’ll be right as rain,” Catrix replied, getting an ‘Ohhh’ from Dash in the process.

“Great, she’s locked in her pod for now but will probably start screaming at you if you walk too close to the door,” I warned.

“At least she’s better than Chilly...she is doing better than Chilly, right? She hasn’t set anything on fire yet?” Catrix asked.

“No, thank goodness. There’s that at least. I’ll be in Tartarus if you need me, I still need to work out a few details with Luna’s steward,” I said as I turned to leave.

“Oh, the queen has her own steward now, fancy,” Catrix commented, “Who’d you grab?”

“Some dumbass with an impossible name, I’ve been calling him Carl,” I replied with a shrug, though Catrix stiffened at the name.

“It wasn’t Cartronitek, was it?” she asked, getting a concerned look from Dash.

“Is that…” Dash began.

“Yes, that was the demon’s name. I assume you know him?” I asked, wondering if by some twist of fate I had grabbed Catrix’s tormentor to watch over Luna. I foresaw a great deal of blood being shed if this was the case.

“Intimately,” Catrix hissed.

“This could’ve been avoided if you had told me the bastard’s name at any point in the damn millennia that we’ve been friends,” I groaned.

“We’re gonna go beat the tar outta this guy, right?” Dash asked.

“NO!” Catrix shouted, stepping back and attempting to make herself smaller, “Just-just let me forget about this, I don’t want to face him again.”

“I won’t let him touch you,” I promised, raising a claw for emphasis.

“I know, it’s just that...by the end...he didn’t need to use his powers to control me. I don’t know if I’d go back to him if he told me to,” Catrix confided.

“What if I brought you closure?” I offered, getting her attention, “A finger to prove he was permanently dead. Or his face, so you can be absolutely sure.”

“I just wanna forget,” Catrix wept as she dropped to her knees. Dash slowly walked over and wrapped a foreleg around the demon’s shoulders.

“Give him hell. The kind I know you can bring, the kind I’ve always seen in your eyes,” Rainbow Dash ordered, her face alternating between rage and sympathy.

“The balance,” Catrix protested.

“Buck the balance, this evil creep needs to pay,” Dash argued without a hint of malice, silencing Catrix’s sobs for a moment as she looked up at the rest of us.

“I-I’ll tend to Luna, just-just leave me alone until I’m finished,” Catrix managed, forcing herself to her feet.

“Cat, you’re our psych expert, you know that you need to engage here. I have, by one hell of a coincidence, found Carl-whatever. That happened, I need you to say that it happened,” I said as I grabbed Catrix’s shoulder to keep her from leaving.

“I can’t,” Catrix answered simply.

“Do it anyway,” I demanded.

“You found him, he’s here. He’s here and I’m damned to be his slave again,” Catrix stated robotically. She managed to keep her emotionless facade up for a full two seconds before she erupted into loud wails and wrapped me in a tight hug, her nails lengthening into claws and digging into my back for a better grip, “Don’t let him take meeheehee!”

“I will never let that happen, I swear on the honor of the Order of Iron that you will not spend another day in chains,” I promised, “I won’t make you confront him, I won’t even make you look at him, I just need you to recognize that I have him in custody and that he will pay for his crimes. Can you do that?”

“I’ll try, but I still want to forget,” Catrix replied, her voice almost a whisper.

“He isn’t here anyway, he’s in the palace,” I corrected. Catrix whimpered slightly and released me before sitting down on the floor.

“Then I’m trapped here,” Catrix declared, “If I move from this spot, there’s a chance I could be in a fatal accident. If I die here, I’ll regenerate in the palace. With him.”

“If that’s what makes you feel safe, I won’t argue with you. Dash, would you mind keeping Cat company for a bit longer?” I requested.

“I’ll be on her like glue. And considering how sticky I am, that might not be too far from the truth,” Dash joked as she walked over to lean against Catrix in support.

“Okay, so you two are taken care of for now. That just leaves Luna’s toy and Lily before I can head back out,” I said as I looked around the room for the one visible item on my list.

Lily materialized less than an inch from Dash’s nose, causing the cyan mare to jump slightly in surprise, “What the hay?”

“I’ve got next,” Lily demanded before walking out of the room.

“Was she here the whole freaking time?!” Dash asked, wide eyed as she stared at the empty doorway.

“Yep, but more importantly: How fucking hard can it be to find a three foot black dildo in a gray room?” I griped as I lifted the both beds to look underneath.

“It...might’ve gotten moved,” Catrix responded, sounding thankful for the distraction.

“To where?” I prompted.

“Wait...no. No no no, you didn’t. You did not do what I think you did,” Dash denied, waving her hooves in distress.

“I kinda remember last night, it’s all pretty hazy, but I definitely remember wanting you to have fun,” Catrix said vaguely.

“Then it wasn’t an organ pressed against my belly? That’s so gross,” Dash complained, retching slightly at the memory.

“I can still feel it,” Catrix confirmed.

“There are no words for how fucked up you are. Can you reach it at least?” I asked hopefully, getting a shrug in response. Catrix laid back before bending and twisting to shove as much of her arm as she could into her womb to search for the pilfered slab of rubber.

After a few seconds she sighed sadly, “It’s stuck. It must’ve been in sideways when Dash came out, and now it’s bent. I don’t have enough leverage to get it free.”

“Fuck this entire morning, wow. Okay, get out of there, I’ll get it,” I groaned. Catrix pulled her arm free and lifted her lower body to grant me easier access.

“Dude, aren’t you married?” Dash asked in disgust and I fed a pair of tendrils into Catrix.

“There are two arguments to that actually. One: Jay’s a licensed doctor and this is a medical procedure to remove a foreign object. And two: according to the law in Tartarus, any member of the royal family may derive pleasure from their concubines without incurring charges of infidelity. In short, Jay could do me on top of Luna and she couldn’t legally get mad about it. Not that he would, of course,” Catrix explained, her voice wavering slightly as I forced the object of my search to line up with its escape route and tore it free.

“Woot, got it,” I cheered lamely.

“Wait, I think I’m missing something. Does Jay own you?” Dash asked in confusion.

“Hmmm, technically yes, but it’s more that he harbors me,” Catrix replied thoughtfully.

“Cat set it up, pick her brain,” I deflected, “I’m gonna toss this Lu’s way and hope she stays sane long enough for you to work your voodoo.”

“If she uses that thing, it might be a lost cause,” Dash pointed out, referencing the current state of the item in my hand. In a word, ruined.

“Shitfuck,” I swore as I saw the state of Lucky’s gift. It was bent at an odd angle and was covered in scratches and cuts that were sharp to the touch. It wasn’t in any condition to be used ever again, “Cat, you broke it, the right thing to do would be to replace it.”

“Nope, that was a limited edition alicock. They were only made for ten days over a decade ago, you’re holding number sixteen of fifty,” Lily countered, appearing at Catrix’s side opposite Dash. Dash jumped again when Lily spoke.

“You sure know a lot about it,” Catrix commented with a hint of pride.

“Are you kidding? The company claimed they could bring Celestia to her knees, one does not simply turn down a challenge like that,” Lily replied.

“Any kind of warranty?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Lifetime, but that won’t help us right now. Luna will have to get by with one of mine. Abby, could you get my suitcase? The red one?” Lily requested.

“I am beyond weirded out right now,” Dash commented distantly.

“That’s ‘cause you’re the normal one,” I whispered as Lily picked through the disturbingly large piece of luggage Abaddon had retrieved.

“Huzzah, the Nightstallion Sim Mark Two, just what I was looking for. And these are still made so Cat can just comp me the bits to replace it. Luna will never know what hit her when the enchantments kick in,” Lily bragged as she levitated the replacement over.

“Uh, Jay?” Catrix asked sweetly.

“You’re covered, I’ll call it payment for psychiatric services,” I replied as I grabbed the device by a handle clearly made for a hoof.

“Make sure she knows to use that handle, the enchantments take effect as soon as you feed it magic,” Lily advised.

“Your fiancee has no idea what he’s in for, does he?” I asked suspiciously.

“Not a damn clue, he thinks mom is the only one like this. I can’t wait for the day we’re alone in a room,” Lily laughed as she lifted an odd harness out of the case. A harness that had several clips attached to it, as though to attach to a handle of some kind. I nearly dropped the device in my hand as I made the connection.

“Lily, you and Cat are a match made in hell. Dash, run far, run fast, get as far away from these two as you can. I would bet my fortune there’s a gimp suit in there somewhere,” I warned. If Dash covered her mane, I would’ve confused her for Rarity.

“Kay, bye!” Dash called as she sprinted out of the room.

“If you ever break up with Tzu, I’m dumping Blue and marrying him,” Lily threatened.

“I’m out as well, you lot have officially breached into a topic I want no part of,” I declared, turning to walk out. I heard Catrix and Lily’s laughter all the way to my room.

“Hey Lu, are you a bitch right now?” I asked as I walked in.

“No, I’m sad,” Luna replied. I could see that she had been crying.

“Why?” I asked as I hid her new gift in my forearm.

“Because you don’t love me,” Luna replied simply.

“That’s not fair, you know I’m working on that,” I pointed out.

“No you’re not, you just keep saying that. If you were really trying you’d have helped me last night. If you really cared you’d take this pain away right now, I know you can. And I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, you said yourself that it’s just meat,” Luna ranted sadly.

“I’ve made arrangements for Cat to work her mojo, I just need to go murderize Carl first,” I explained as I walked around the foot of the pod.

“There it is, I’m not important enough to warrant your attention. Just another thing to delegate,” Luna continued dejectedly, not noticing as I opened the bottom half of the pod.

“I can’t do myself what I don’t know, and my statement before still applies. You’re better than that. And as for your accusations of not taking a personal stake…” I trailed off as I grabbed Luna’s leg and forced the new toy into her. Luna’s loud gasp at the sudden intrusion quickly turned into a moan, but I sent a lance of demonic magic down my arm to make sure she got the point, “Lily says to use the handle until you’re ready to get your shit wrecked.”

“Thank you,” Luna breathed as I closed the pod and returned to the space near her head.

“Better?” I asked.

“Soooooo much better,” Luna replied drunkenly, going cross-eyed as her horn lit.

“Good. Imma go kill a rapist, don’t wait up,” I stated as I walked out.

“Sir, Abaddonn reports that Miss Catrix requires my help?” Tzu confirmed as I walked into the hallway.

“I can’t take three steps without running into something today, holy shit,” I complained, “Yeah, she needs you to coordinate some Mikes or something.”

“Yes, sir...Are you alright? You seem troubled,” Tzu asked.

“It’s Luna. I’ve been doing everything I can to avoid thinking about her like that. It just feels wrong,” I replied.

“I don’t understand, wouldn’t it be fun for both of you?” Tzu pressed.

“Well sure, but I’m her Ben Kenobi. Her Merlin. I’m supposed to be the mentor figure in her story, not the love interest,” I continued.

“Ah, I think I understand where you’re coming from. But from what I’ve seen, life is never as simple as the hero’s journey. Perhaps you shouldn’t see her life as a story waiting to be written, but rather as an epic that’s already into its second volume. Or drop the book references altogether and just live and let live,” Tzu advised wisely.

“You’re saying I should take advantage of her altered mental state? I won’t cross that line,” I stated.

“Absolutely not, but I don’t think it would hurt either of you to be a little closer in the future. Jeffrey and I have been faking attraction well enough so far, it might be worth a try,” Tzu clarified.

“Right, I’ll think on it,” I responded as I wandered back towards the deck. Maybe Tzu was onto something, maybe it wasn’t Luna that was scared of intimacy, but me that was terrified of being more than a mentor to her, “Why? Why would I want to be a footnote in her life?”

“Because you think yours is over,” Catrix replied as I walked onto the deck.

“Isn’t it? What else is there for me to do? The enforcers are maturing and are almost ready to live their own lives, Chelly’s on the decline and might end up dead in the next year, I retired centuries ago, what’s left for me to do but teach?” I asked.

“What if, and this might sound crazy, what if you actually cared?” Catrix proposed, confusing me.

“I do care, what are you trying to say?” I asked defensively. 

“Never cared about me, I was just a needy distraction. You kept me safe, I’ll give you that, but you didn’t really care about how I felt. I’m not angry about it, that’s just how you are, but I can see something in you now. I’m saying that you should stop fighting it,” Catrix continued.

“Tzu’s waiting in the hallway by your room,” I responded blandly, “He’s full of life advice too, maybe you can conspire to drop the biggest load of hypocritical bullshit that has ever been dropped.”

“Well fuck you too. I’m just trying to help, ya know? Geez, I try to give a guy advice and get my damn head bitten off,” Catrix muttered as she walked away. 

Now that I was pissed at myself too, I made a beeline for the one item on my agenda that might actually be relaxing, “I wonder when killing scumbags became relaxing?”

“In the legion,” Harry replied, startling me.

“Damn, where the fuck did you come from?” I asked.

“I’ve been waiting here since you left,” Harry answered dutifully.

“Why?” I pressed.

“There’s a minor revolt happening in the palace, I’ve lost the guards twelve times already,” Harry replied.

“Carl?” I guessed.

“Got it in one,” Harry replied.

“Son of a bitch, I hate today,” I complained.

“The maids are also on his side, I’d recommend replacing them,” Harry added.

“No shit, Sherlock,” I deadpanned.

“Will you require my assistance?”

“I’ll require you to shut up so I can work...and call off the guards,” I ordered.

“As you say,” Harry responded, ducking out of my way and allowing me to stride towards the door.

“Yo Fang, free reign as long as you don’t leave the palace!” I shouted into the hallway. At once, all sounds of fighting were replaced with the panicked thundering of feet as the renegade demons attempted to escape the torture Gamma One-Two brought wherever he went, “Cool, now to find the ringleader.”

I didn’t have to look for very long, as my assumption of the servant’s quarters was dead on. Specifically, I found Carl in the maids’ room partially covered by the room’s normal occupants and surrounded by blood and scorch marks. 

“This is remarkably underwhelming,” I commented as all eyes fell on me.

“Fight him, fight for your master,” Carl ordered, though without any energy to it. I got the impression that he just didn’t know how else to react. 

‘Not my problem.’

“You’re all fired,” I stated with equal enthusiasm as One-Two dropped from the ceiling and landed on the lead maid, causing the others to rethink their actions.

“I surrender?” Carl attempted weakly.

“Nah,” I replied as I lazily sent a tendril into his chest. His face fell to the ground as the material behind it ceased to exist, “Shit, even this felt like a chore. What’s wrong with me today?”

Taking the discarded skin, I trekked back to my room and through the portal. I made a decided effort not to acknowledge the tortured screams echoing from the direction I had come from.

“Is that a face?” Twilight asked as I stepped through the portal.

“Yes,” I responded as I walked past her.

“Wait, why are you carrying a face? Where are you going?” Twilight continued, though her questions fell on deaf ears.

“Cat, is this him?” I called into Catrix’s room, receiving no answer. Repeating the process in my room yielded better results in the form of Catrix screaming at me that she was busy, causing me to drop the piece of skin and close the door, “Whatever, I’ll be around when you’re done.”

“What’s the matter?” Twilight asked, reminding me that she was still following me around.

“A lot of stuff. Some I can fix, others I can’t,” I replied.

“Like what?” Twilight pressed.

“Are you hunting for a friendship report? Fine, I’ll spill. Lu’s gone crazy, Tartarus is Tartarus, Cat’s pissed at me, I’m pissed at me for the same reason, I’m doubting my reasoning for a lot of personal things, and even Tzu has recognized how far from honest I’ve been with myself,” I ranted.

“All that before noon? I’d be stressed out too. Maybe I can help somehow?” Twilight offered.

“Thanks for the offer, but unless you can teach me how to be affectionate-” I began.

“I have a few books that could help. Here, Mom just sent me her latest revision,” Twilight interrupted, teleporting in a bundle of loose papers. Taking a look at the top sheet, I saw something that threw me for a loop.

“Vee is your mom?” I asked, my shock clear in my voice and face.

“Uh, Velvet, yeah,” the lavender unicorn replied.

“You’re Shining’s sister. Two years ago I would’ve killed you over that relation,” I continued. Twilight paled at my words.

“I think I should go…” Twilight attempted, but found a tendril around her hoof when she tried to back away.

“Next time you see Vee, give her an extra hug; she saved your life just now,” I advised as I released Twilight’s hoof. She started to slowly back away, but stopped after a few feet.

“What happened?” 

“I kidnapped the nicest mare on the planet is what happened. Short version is that I wanted your brother off my back, so I snatched his mother to blackmail him with. Do you know what she did? She made tea and treated me like an old friend. I only kept her for about an hour before scrapping the whole plan and walking her home. We still send letters once in awhile,” I explained.

“That sounds like her. She probably would’ve made you a pie if you hadn’t let her go,” Twilight joked.

“She did. Walked right back to where I was hiding and dropped one off the next day, it was cherry,” I replied with a laugh.

“I remember that day! She made that pie for me and then walked out with it when I wouldn’t stop reading long enough to eat it, I guess now I know what happened to it,” Twilight added.

“It was good pie, you missed out. You might be onto something, Vee seems to have a mind for this sort of thing. I should ask her for advice,” I commented.

“Shining’s home for the weekend,” Twilight pointed out.

“Nevermind then, I’ll just clean up my own messes,” I groaned. I moved to try the door again, but was stopped by the sound of Twilight giggling, “What?”

“I just caught what you said, that my mom has a mind for relationships. She writes romance novels, of course she does. It’s so ridiculous,” Twilight laughed.

“I didn’t know that until just now, somehow it never came up,” I replied, giving the stack of papers another glance.

“Well I still think it’s funny,” Twilight stated, still chuckling. After a few moments, she spoke again, “So Luna’s in there?”

“Yep.”

“With Catrix?”

“Yep.”

“And there’s something wrong with her?”

“For now.”

“I hope she’s okay.”


Perspective Change: Luna


‘Somepony, anypony please help me!’ I thought as loudly as I could. I’d tried screaming, but the enchanted gag in my mouth kept me from even hearing myself. All I could do was cry as the whip descended on my back for the twenty-second time.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Yeah she’ll be fine, I’ve never heard anything negative about Cat’s treatment,” I replied.


Perspective Change: Luna


‘Nothing negative, every inch of my body hurts and you’ve never heard anything negative? What kind of people do you spend your time with? Did your legion sit on broom handles for fun? I wish she’d stop, I wish Jay would come in here and save me, I wish she hadn’t put that cone on my horn. I really wish she’d stop poking me there, I don’t-’ My train of thought was interrupted as a searing pain tore its way through my mind. I tried to scream, I tried to bite through the gag, I tried to kick at my attacker, but the gag was too large for me to sink my teeth into and the straps holding me in place kept me from moving more than an inch.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Okay, I guess she is the expert,” Twilight said with a shrug, “I guess I should get going, Rainbow said she had a doozy of a night and Fluttershy asked me to watch Angel while she takes care of her.”

“A doozy of a night, that’s putting it mildly,” I commented with a short laugh.

“I’m sure, but I really should’ve fed Angel by now. I’ll stop by later and see how everypony’s doing,” Twilight promised as she walked away.

I sat in silence, just staring at the door. I let the world pass me by as I waited and thought. I knew Tzu had shown up and sat next to me at some point, but I didn’t bother reacting until he started speaking, “I never got to show you what I found on the night after the battle.”

“And what did you found?” I asked, turning my head towards him.

“See for yourself,” Tzu replied, holding up a glass vial. It was half filled with a red liquid that appeared to be blood until disturbed, at which point it revealed itself to be far too thin to be blood. My curiosity peaked, I removed the cork stopper and inserted a tendril to sample the odd liquid.

“Well then, so much for ruling out blood,” I commented to myself.

“It’s yours, taken after you passed out. Check the alcohol content,” Tzu suggested with a smile.

“Alright hold on, gotta count this shit…” We fell silent again as I distracted myself with the counting of molecules. Well over an hour later, I had the numbers, “Seventy-five!? No way, there’s no possible way it’s seventy-five percent. One, people die at point three-five, and two, that’s higher than the shit I was drinking.”

“And yet I came to the same conclusion,” Tzu argued as I drank the contents of the vial.

“But that’s...fuck it-lethal several times over. I should be dead, no wonder I was out for four days,” I responded, making a note not to go so far next time.

“And that’s why I let you sleep,” Tzu replied. We fell silent again as we waited for Catrix and Luna to emerge from the room. When the door finally opened, it was Luna who stood on the other side with Catrix barely visible as she slept on the floor against the far wall.

“Hey there, how’re ya feeling?” I asked.

“Great. I don’t know what she did in there, but I feel better than ever,” Luna replied happily.

“Wait, you don’t even know how she cured your doubling? Damnit, I’m starting to go crazy over that secret,” I complained.

“I remember her walking in and me begging her for sex, and then I woke up a few seconds ago. Why? How long was I in there?” Luna asked.

“Two, maybe three hours. Looks like it wasn’t easy for Cat, it takes a lot to wear her out,” I commented.

“She was up all night, the lack of sleep probably just got to her,” Tzu pointed out.

“Makes sense to me, I don’t feel as if she even touched me,” Luna agreed.

“I watched every second, there was touching,” Abaddon responded, sounding dead.

“You spied on them? For me? Awww, you shouldn’t have,” I replied thankfully.

“I agree, I shouldn’t have,” Abaddon commented, offering me a tendril. As I reviewed his memory of the event, I came to the conclusion that Cat’s treatment would never be used on Luna again.

“Well, what did she do to me?” Luna inquired.

“She tied you down and...did some crazy mojo with pressure points. Even to me, seeing Cat bend and twist that far is disturbing,” I lied.

“Pressure points? Like on my legs? Fascinating. But why can’t I remember what happened?” Luna continued.

“You wiped your memory of it to keep Cat’s secret, just like everyone else. She said it was her biggest breadwinner in the kingdom and that she was trying to avoid competition,” I lied again.

“Huh, considering who it was performing the procedure, I would’ve expected something more...graphic. I don’t know, something like shoving a broom in my plot bristles first,” Luna joked, causing Abaddon to briefly freeze.

“Right, that reminds me, be sure to thank Lily for your new best friend. Cat kinda broke your old one,” I said as Abaddon retreated before he could ruin the comfortable lie I had spun.

“New best?-oh that, I honestly hadn’t considered where it had come from. What is it with her family and giving me lewd gifts?” Luna asked.

“They’re generous souls,” I answered simply.

“I see...I’ll be sure to pass on my gratitude,” Luna replied hesitantly as she considered my statement, “I guess I should go find her then.”

“Good luck with that, she was still practicing her invisibility spells last time I saw her. I’d recommend heading back to Tartarus and seeing about getting you some new armor,” I suggested.

“Could we not, I really don’t want to deal with that incubus again,” Luna requested.

“He’s dead, turns out that Carl was Cat’s owner. Seemed like he knew I was gunning for him too, started a revolt and everything,” I replied.

“Oh, then you’re back to looking for a steward,” Luna assumed.

“Harry mostly just sits around, he can fill in until a decent ripper can be found,” I responded with a shrug.

“What about Cat, can’t she be my steward?” Luna proposed.

“She already has a job...that she doesn’t do. Yeah, sure, Catrix Infernus is now your voice in Tartarus as well as your confidant and concubine. Boom, done, you have a steward now,” I stated.

“That was easy. So, what? Do we wake her up to come with us?” Luna asked.

“Probably better to let her sleep. Tzu, why don’t you get her to bed while Luna and I burn in hell,” I joked, getting a raised eyebrow from Luna.

“Is it more on fire than usual?” Tzu asked.

“Apparently, but that’s not important. For now, let’s just get back to work,” I replied.

“Yes sir,” Tzu stated as he walked into the room to retrieve Catrix’s unconscious body.

“Abby, could you bring the fragments of my armor to the deck? I’ll carry them from there,” Luna requested.

“Like hell you will, that’s just asking to be murdered. I’ll have Harry haul them for you,” I corrected as Luna and I started walking towards the deck.

“I can’t really be that dangerous. I mean, the maids were kinda hostile at first but they came around pretty quickly,” Luna said in disbelief.

“Are you really going to put that much trust in a bunch of demons? Shit Luna, I’m their fucking king and I still dropped a leviathan on their heads,” I replied.

“That’s not exactly fair, you don’t trust anyone,” Luna argued.

“I trust you and Tzu,” I countered, mentally kicking myself for taking the bait.

“Is that why you’re always within ten feet of me? Because you trust me so much? Or Tzu, whom you watch like a hawk to make sure he does his jobs properly?” Luna challenged.

“I’m not...You’ve...No. I’m always around you and watching Tzu because you’re both still learning,” I managed.

“Really? You see yourself as a teacher?” Luna replied, sounding surprised.

“What else would I be? I’m retired, I don’t accept contracts or win wars anymore. Best I can do is hope my experience can save a few lives,” I explained.

“Jay, I don’t see a wizened old stallion. As far as I can tell, you’re still in your prime. Besides, I’m older than you,” Luna countered as we reached the deck, though both of us ignored its other occupants and stopped near the portal to continue our conversation..

“Maybe you’re right. I’ve been hearing that same thing a lot today, from a lot of people I value. Tzu may not be ready to lead the enforcers by himself, but he isn’t stupid. Cat may be Cat, but she knows her shit too. Twilight didn’t even know what I was talking about and she was still talking along the same lines,” I listed before falling silent for a moment, “Alright, I’ll drop the mentor thing. But I’m still fucking retired, I’m not budging on that one.”

“I’m not asking you to live the life of a mercenary, just to stop holding yourself back,” Luna replied with a smile.

“And Tartarus is still fucking dangerous,” I added.

“I guess I can let you have that one for now,” Luna allowed with a smirk.

“Ha ha ha. Come on, you’ll see,” I warned as I took Luna’s bag of broken armor from Abaddon and walked through the portal.

“Your majesties, I was wondering when you would return,” Harry stated with an unusual amount of formality.

“Drop the titles, take this, and get an escort ready, we’re going into the city,” I ordered, tossing the bag at the ripper.

“I’d avoid going uptown, that’s the area that’s more on fire than usual,” Harry advised as he set off to arrange our escort while Luna and I casually walked towards the main gate. 

“What’s with the more on fire thing?” Luna asked as we walked.

“Bit of a running joke. Tartarus is always on fire, but we occasionally have flares. The more on fire part is from the same place as the fun-nazi thing,” I explained.

“One of these days you’ll have to set up that play,” Luna suggested.

“Yeah, one of these days,” I agreed as we reached the gigantic main doors. Rooting my feet into the stone floor, I threw the massive doors open with far more force than necessary and got an odd look from Luna in the process, “Gotta keep up appearances.”

“That appearance being that you’re on the warpath?” Luna asked.

“Always,” I confirmed, “You don’t fuck with the only guy that can kill you when he’s already pissed.”

“That actually makes sense,” Luna relented as Harry walked over with a small mob of rippers.

“Your majesties, are you ready to depart?” he asked.

“I thought you said to never go out with less than fifty guards? This isn’t even half that,” Luna pointed out.

“The king is worth far more than fifty rippers, ma’am. It would be an insult to not trust in his abilities. These guards are here to carry your burdens,” Harry replied.

“Then I suppose we are ready, lead us to the finest armorer in the land,” Luna commanded.

“As you say mistress. If you desire armor, you shall receive it,” Harry declared, signaling the others to fall into formation and prepare to move. 

Luna remained quiet as we walked through the city streets, keeping her mask of disdain plastered firmly on her face the entire time as she looked around at what we called a city. In reality, it was a collection of black stone spires that had been hollowed out to serve as shelter from the dust and fiery storms that occasionally blew through. The spires of the city were one of the few sources of respite from the flesh stripping weather, the others being the massive keeps owned by the greaters. The guards never had to push any crowds out of our way as we walked, the other demons all but fled at the sight of us. Eventually we came to a row of stalls carved into a fallen pillar, each with a pretty selling some service they claimed to have perfected.

“Here we are. This is the Line, where you’ll find the best tradesdemons around. Just make sure not to insult them, and be ready to beat them into the ground if you do. Hope you brought something to pay them with,” Harry advised quietly, getting a slight nod from Luna.

“Which of you should I speak to about a set of armor?” Luna called to the pretties, causing them all to lean out of their stalls and look at each other for a second. Without a single word of argument, they all dove at each other in a wild tornado of claws and teeth.

“And that’s why I don’t fuck around with demons,” I commented as a victor emerged from the scuffle, a bloody hammer still held in his grip.

“Yregnat, at your service ma’am,” the pretty greeted. He was shorter than me by a little more than a foot, a bit shrimpy for a pretty. His crimson skin also had an uncharacteristic shine to it, as though he was covered in a thick film of grease. All in all, he looked like a slobbish version of Catrix without any of the femininity or self respect.

“Youreggnat? I have some armor that has been badly damaged. I require a new set but my old armor had sentimental value to me, I’d like you to incorporate the pieces into the set I intend to commission,” Luna declared, though her mask was beginning to crack as she kept looking at the prone pretties and scorch marks.

“It’s Yregnat, ma’am,” the pretty corrected, his predatory gaze becoming a glare.

“No, it’s not. You’re fucking name is Yuri now, got it?” I growled, causing the pretty to back down, “And she’s not a ‘ma’am,’ the term of address is ‘your highness.’”

“Of course your majesty, my apologies,” Yuri replied meekly.

“What the fuck are you waiting for? Do I need to shove my foot up your ass to get you moving?” I shouted when Yuri didn’t immediately get to work on Luna’s order.

“Of course, my apologies. What were you looking for, your highness?” Yuri asked, receiving a high speed kick to his posterior for wasting our time.

“Next!” I yelled at the remaining pretties as Yuri sailed over the Line and continued gaining altitude.. One slowly managed to climb to his feet and stagger over to us.

“Did you have a particular style in mind, your highness?” the unnamed pretty asked. 

“Mobility is key, I need to be able to fly while wearing it. I’d like it to look both inspiring and intimidating, but remember that it will be ponies that need the inspiration. I’ll let you decide on the rest, I get the feeling that this isn’t too different from working with a painter,” Luna replied.

“May I have the pieces of the previous armor? I’d like to see if I can obtain your measurements from them,” the pretty requested.

“I’m afraid there is very little left of it, else I would’ve had it repaired. You may measure me if you need to,” Luna permitted.

“I-I could never be so bold,” the pretty protested.

“I’m getting annoyed awfully quickly. Drop the shy tradesdemon act and get to fucking work,” I demanded, making the demon jump and sprint back to his stall to retrieve a measuring tape. After three failed attempts to obtain the length of Luna’s foreleg due to his shaking hands, Luna herself took the tape and simply levitated it to the necessary places on her body while the pretty scratched notes into his arm with a claw and muttered endless apologies.

“There’s only one thing I still need to know, your highness. Would you prefer imp or scamp?” the pretty asked.

“For what?” Luna inquired.

“For the roan, of course. Did your previous set not have one?” the pretty continued.

At Luna’s obvious conclusion, I stepped in to clear up everyone’s confusion, “The roan is the leather padding between the metal and your skin, it serves as light armor between the plates while also providing some comfort. Imp skin leather is a lot more durable but scamp skin is more pliable and comfortable.”

“Imps can talk, right? I’ll go with scamp leather,” Luna decided.

“I vow to provide the best armor you’ve ever worn, your majesty, in comfort, style, and protection. Not one blade nor disapproving look shall mar its finish,” the pretty promised.

“And how shall we find you when it is complete? I never got your name,” Luna requested.

“My name? It isn’t important, I am no one. I will deliver it to the palace as soon as the last engraving is perfect and all of the runes are enameled properly,” 

“Then all that’s left is your payment. I admit that I do not know all of the customs of this place yet, but I can promise you any item or service I can provide,” Luna offered.

The pretty looked torn for a long moment before speaking again, “Serving to protect the queen is payment enough.”

“No. You’re hiding something, what?” I asked as I grabbed the pretty’s shoulder. The demon paled slightly as he realized the same thing so many others had discovered once they were in my grip, there was no escape.

“Nothing, I swear. I’m not important and I never was,” the pretty maintained.

“Then tell me your name and I’ll let you go,” I offered.

“Jay, he seems nice enough, maybe we should just let him work,” Luna suggested.

“Not until I get a name,” I argued.

“I’m Jragden, please don’t kill me,” Jragden pleaded.

“With a ‘j’ or a ‘y?’” I demanded.

“A ‘j,’” Jragden confessed, confirming my suspicions. This pretty used to be one of Belial’s personal armorers, I’d seen his name on plenty of pieces in Belial’s old armory. 

“I had to chisel through your work to take your master down. Yo Harry, is this guy still wanted by your dudes?” I called.

“All of Belial’s minions are to be processed for perpetuating his reign,” Harry answered.

“Then your payment is a royal pardon, paid in advance,” I declared as I released the demon.

“Truly? Thank you your majesty, I’ll never forget this,” Jragden promised gratefully.

“I believe we can do better than that. Simply removing an existing threat isn’t payment enough, I’d like to offer him a place in the palace as my personal armorer,” Luna proposed, causing Jragden to pale once more.

“That’s what got him into this mess, he got recruited by the wrong demon,” I explained.

“I am no demon, and I will require someone capable to maintain and repair the fine armor I’m sure Eeraggdan will provide,” Luna insisted, “But it is merely an offer, I will not force you to work for me.”

“What if I were to accept and change my mind later on, would I be allowed to leave?” Jragden asked nervously.

“Absolutely, and I’d make sure to send some extra customers your way whenever I found any,” Luna promised.

“Then, provided my work meets your expectations, I accept,” Jragden agreed with a sweeping bow.

“We’ll get out of your mane and allow you to work, I look forward to seeing what you come up with,” Luna bid as she returned to the center of the mob of guards.

“Thank you again your highness, I will not fail you,” Jragden promised before returning to his stall with the remains of Luna’s old armor to begin crafting her new set. Luna was almost giddy and was visibly restraining herself from bouncing on her hooves the entire trip back to the portal. Only when the door to our chambers closed did she allow herself to show her excitement.

“Oh my gosh, that went soooo much better than I thought it would. I was expecting it to take hours for him to finish setting up the job,” Luna praised.

“Take it from someone who has had to break some of the armor he made, he does his job well,” I agreed.

“Jay come quick, something’s happened!” a frantic Catrix cried from the other side of the portal.

“It’s always something. Makes me miss the boring times, ya know?” I asked casually as Luna and I ran after the succubus. We found her with Tzu once we rounded the first corner of the hallway, though from where I was I couldn’t see what they were looking at.

“What happened here?” Luna asked as she moved forward to peek around them before gasping loudly and backing away.

“Report,” I ordered as I moved to fill the space Luna had just vacated, finding a dead royal guard lying there with a beaten face and open neck.

“Just found him, but he’s not the end of it. Whoever did this got past Abaddon’s security, we have no idea how yet,” Tzu replied.

“Got an ID on this one?” I asked as I crouched next to the small pool of blood by the victim’s head.

“Not yet, face is too beaten in for a positive match. I have Abaddon retracing his steps right now, hopefully, we’ll figure out what room he left this morning,” Tzu answered. On a hunch, I touched the victim’s ear and took a skin sample.

“Shit, it’s Green. I liked him too,” I groaned. I heard the sound of Luna retching behind us as I continued to examine Green’s wounds, “Shimmer is the only thing that can get past Abaddon. Their armor has Chelly’s shimmer enchantment, Wardens did this.”

“He was my bridesmaid,” Luna commented mounfully between gags.

“But they’ve never murdered anyone before, why would they break the deal now?” Tzu asked.

“Because the bitch can’t tell them not to, because I shot out her tongue, because she’s a bitch,” I reasoned.

“Are you sure? This doesn’t fit their usual behavior at all,” Tzu continued.

“Follow the blood, what do you see?” I prompted.

“There should be more...and the Wardens use weapons with powerful heat enchantments. They cauterized the wound as they cut him, he would’ve drowned in his own blood before bleeding out,” Tzu noted, causing Luna to cross over into vomiting.

“ROSE LILY, FOR YOUR SAFETY PLEASE REVEAL YOURSELF,” Abaddon’s voice thundered through the hallways.

“Abaddon, what did you find?” I demanded.

“Miss Lily was around this area when Mister Green was killed, I have not located her since,” Abaddon responded grimly.

“Then she was the target and Green got in the way, they’re trying to lure me out,” I concluded.

“She’s alive, she has to be,” Luna managed, though she had to stop every few words to cough and wipe at her mouth.

“Yes, she does. Alive they can draw me out, but if they killed her it would be the start of a war they can’t win. They’ll keep her safe because they know I’ll find her, and that’s when they’ll spring the ambush,” I predicted.

“So what’s your plan?” Luna asked, getting blank stares from the rest of us.

“You sweet, innocent, little thing, even greater demons know that the last thing you want in a trap is Jay. The only problem with their plan...is that it worked,” Catrix cooed as she walked over and cleaned a spot on Luna’s chin with her thumb.

“Exactly, there’s just a couple things I have to do first. The first is purely to vent my frustrations with how today started out coupled with this bullshit. And the second is part of the same deal the Wardens just broke, I have to give your sister a chance to fix this herself,” I explained, smiling at Luna’s confused look. Rather than elaborate on what I was talking about, I simply walked back to the deck, expanded my lungs until they were pressing out of back, and shouted my rage at the sky.

“SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIITCH!”
> Chapter 20: Devil's Due
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Celestia

 
“Thank you Mister Scarlet, you’ve been very helpful,” I said gratefully as I accepted the report from the unicorn before me. Talking through the bandages in my mouth was difficult and slightly painful, but my heart wouldn’t let me remain silent around my little ponies.
 
“Anytime Princess, will you need anything else?” the stallion asked with a bow.
 
“I believe this was all I needed, thank you. How about you, is there-” I began.
 
“SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIITCH!” a familiar voice echoed, bringing with it a weakness in my knees as I realized I would have to confront Jekyll again.
 
“Oh dear. Please excuse me Mister Scarlet, it seems an urgent matter has come up. Azure will make sure you’re paid in full, I know how boring taxes can be,” I bid before waiting patiently for the stallion to finish making his farewells and leave the room, only then did I allow myself to collapse while I sought out the strength to face the eternal pain in the flank that was Jekyll.
 
“It’s him, isn’t it Princess?” the nurse that had been shadowing me asked. Daisy, that was her name. Tender had given me an ultimatum when I had refused to remain in the medical wing, allow Daisy to follow me around and take care of my wounds or get back in that damnable bed.
 
“CHEEEEEELLLLLYYYYYY! GET YOUR FAT ASS DOWN HERE!”
 
“Yes, and he’s in a foul mood as well,” I responded, still trying to find the strength to pick myself up.
 
“I saw how you spoke to him when his kind invaded the city. Why do you let him carry on like that? And why do you get so angry when he’s around?” Daisy asked innocently. 
 
I bit back the instinctive sharp retort that commonly followed mentioning my nemesis and instead responded in a nicer tone, “It’s a long and complicated story that not even I fully understand, but I can’t seem to bring myself to kill him.”
 
“So you won’t kill him and he can’t kill you, sounds like me and my ex husband,” the pale yellow mare joked in a weak attempt to cheer me up.
 
“Thank you for trying, but I will have to deal with this. Would you like to accompany me?” I offered, knowing Doctor Tender would have more than a few harsh words for my caretaker if he found her without me.
 
“But Princess, aren’t you worried about looking weak?”
 
“I am weak, and he knows. There’s no point in hiding the damage from the one who caused it.”
 
“Then I suppose I should come with you, just to keep your bandages from getting too loose,” Daisy agreed as she nervously fiddled with her orange mane.
 
“Have you ever teleported before?” I asked as I forced myself to my feet and moved to stand next to the nurse.
 
“Uh, no. Earth ponies don’t usually get around with magic,” Daisy replied.
 
“Then you may wish to sit down, it can make you fairly dizzy if you aren’t accustomed to the feeling,” I advised. Once Daisy was safely positioned on the floor, I cast the spell that would take us to my latest headache. ‘And I was having a good day too.’
 

Perspective Change: Jekyll

 
“Took your sweet fucking time getting here,” I seethed as soon as Celestia and some other pony appeared.
 
“I do not have to follow your schedule,” Celestia shot back.
 
“Sister, hurk, this isn’t the time to be picking fights,” Luna warned queasily.
 
“Luna, what happened to you? Are you sick?” Celestia asked, distracted by Luna’s current condition.
 
“Her stomach isn’t as strong as ours,” I answered, “And that’s what I called about. Your zealots broke the deal.”
 
“Remind me which one, we have far too many arrangements for ‘the deal’ to mean anything,” Celestia requested, obviously straining to remain civil.
 
“The one about how I let you send idiots to kill me and I’ll spare them as long as they don’t get others involved. A royal guard is dead and a civilian is missing, I’d call that involved,” I retorted.
 
“One of the guards that decided to serve Luna? And you’re sure none of your kind are responsible?” Celestia confirmed, her mask cracking enough to show a hint of fear.
 
“They can’t kill ponies without permission, and none of the townsponies were in the area. Couple that with Abaddon’s lack of information about the crime and the cauterized wound, the suspect list gets pretty short,” I explained.
 
“Shimmer enchantments on the armor and Sunflare on the blades,” Celestia deduced, wilting slightly as she made the same connections as I had.
 
“Bingo. I think you know why we’re talking right now,” I prompted.
 
“How long do I have?” Celestia asked.
 
“Until Abaddon parks his ass on your city, at that point I will assume Lily is dead and eradicate your little cult. Let’s say...twenty minutes. You have twenty minutes before I remove all trace of the Wardens. Twenty minutes until I tear every last one of them apart and burn their cathedrals to the ground. Twenty minutes until I give Canterlot a second fall, one made of blood instead of a rainbow,” I threatened, just to make sure she got the point.
 
“I’ll have some questions when I return with this civilian of yours,” Celestia promised before teleporting away...without her companion.
 
“Looks like you got forgotten,” I noted, “Probably would’ve helped if you spoke up a bit more often.”
 
“My job is to tend to the hurt and sick, not gossip,” the mare snapped.
 
“Is that right? Even when keeping your mouth shut causes you to misplace your patient?” I jibbed.
 
“Jay, leave her be. I’ll take her back as soon as I-uh, eraach-as soon as I won’t lose the remains of yesterday’s dinner in the process,” Luna stated, having to stop and retch mid-sentence.
 
“Abaddon, get Lu some fresh grass; it’ll help ease her stomach,” I ordered.
 
“Who are you talking to?” the mystery mare asked.
 
“Hello, my name is Abaddon but most ponies prefer to call me Abby for some reason,” Abaddon greeted as he formed a secondary next to the mare.
 
“Gah! What are you?” the mare asked, her disgust evident as she looked at the way Abaddon’s secondary extended from the floor.
 
“I am a leviathan, a being built to crush cities and armies alike under my feet. I serve as a mobile apartment building for Lord Jekyll, Mistress Luna, and the population of Ponyville. At least until we get the spiders cleared away, then they’ll go back to their homes and lives. Maybe then I’ll get to stomp on something again,” Abaddon explained, becoming wistful as he continued.
 
“This place is weird, I don’t like it,” the mare complained.
 
“Normally, that would be the point where you introduce yourself. Here, let me show you how it’s done: Hi there, my name is Catrix. How are you?” Catrix commented from the doorway, causing the mare’s head to whip around to view the new arrival.
 
“D-Daisy, I’m a nurse under Doctor Tender….I’m doing well, thank you,” Daisy replied hesitantly. Tracing the line of her stare, it wasn’t hard to see that it was locked on Catrix’s teeth.
 
“Hey Cat, either flash your tits or close your mouth. I don’t care which, just as long as this chick doesn’t piss on my floor,” I laughed as I turned to walk back inside. Catrix’s dress hit the floor as I passed her, just as expected.
 
“Can I have some fun with her?” Catrix requested quietly, causing me to stop and look at the two of them over my shoulder.
 
“Didn’t you get enough last night? Whatever, as long as it doesn’t mess with my timetable,” I replied with a shrug, “Abaddon, go ahead and make tracks. Twenty minutes.”
 
With that small amount of warning for everyone else, Abaddon lurched into motion and sent Daisy hurtling through the air...right into Catrix’s arms.
 
“Abaddon, someday someone is going to call you out on that kind of thing,” I warned as Catrix carted off her protesting captive. 
 
“Are you insinuating that I purposefully neglected to secure Miss Daisy and then angled my first step in such a way that she would collide with Miss Catrix? Preposterous, that would be far too much work for such a simple joke,” Abaddon rebutted indignantly.
 
“Just get the rest of us there in one piece and keep Cat from killing the poor thing,” I groaned.
 
“Should I take her home?” Luna asked, the green in her face having transferred to the wad of grass in her mouth.
 
“Take her, leave her here, either way she’ll get home,” I responded with a lazy wave.
 
“I was expecting a warning about what I would find if I followed them,” Luna commented.
 
“Cat’s about as sane as she gets right now, so nothing disturbing. More than likely you’d just find them spooning and dead ass asleep,” I replied.
 
“That’s oddly specific and differs from my view of our resident demon, why do you say that?” Luna asked.
 
“Because Lord Jekyll is hooked into my nervous system and can see and hear them. Miss Catrix proposed just that a few seconds ago,” Abaddon explained.
 
“I’ll keep that in mind before I ask anymore dumb questions,” Luna responded, placing her hoof over her eyes, “At least they’re getting along.”
 
“You say that now. That Daisy character seems convinced Cat’s going to eat her, I’ve never heard of a pony with that level of phagophobia,” I commented.
 
“In her defense, Cat can bite like a motherfucker,” Luna rebutted, earning glances from everyone at her chosen wording.
 
“You might have a point there, but she doesn’t know that,” I argued.
 
“She’s a nurse, and she can see Cat’s teeth. There isn’t a whole lot of guesswork involved,” Luna pointed out.
 
“Then go rescue your first maiden, hero,” I suggested.
 
“You said you were going to stop doing that.”
 
“Whatever, you know it was funny.”
 
“I will neither confirm nor deny that it was funny, but I think I will go retrieve my sister’s nurse,” Luna stated.
 
“Yeah, go save her before our resident psychologist makes her need a psychologist,” I laughed as Luna walked away, shaking her head.
 
“Sir, shouldn’t you be angry?” Abaddon asked in confusion.
 
“Oh, I’m absolutely livid. But lashing out won’t help anything right now so I’m saving it for the Wardens. On that note, I think we’re about five minutes out, wouldn’t you agree?” I replied happily.
 
“Hmmm, perhaps three and a half,” Abaddon answered with a noticeable speed increase. I grinned at my leviathan’s enthusiasm.
 
“Magazines?” I asked.
 
“Tripled in capacity and fully loaded,” Abaddon replied.
 
“Armor?”
 
“As close to impenetrable as we have ever gotten.”
 
“Tusks and teeth?”
 
“Sharper than any sword and eager to taste blood once more.”
 
“Support staff?”
 
“At their battle stations, we will not be caught unprepared this time.”
 
“Assault teams?”
 
“Standing ready.”
 
“Intel reports?”
 
“India division has mapped the residences of all members of the Wardens in addition to their meeting places, both public and secret.”
 
“What’s your plan for the civilians?”
 
“On board, they’ve been warned already. I will be rooting and securing them under the assumption that I will need to make abrupt maneuvers. In the streets, I will avoid stepping on them or their homes.”
 
“Rooting?”
 
“I got the idea from how you disabled Nightmare Moon, I run tendrils through their hooves and hold them on the floor. However I do not keep them from moving.”
 
“Fancy. Anything I’m missing?”
 
“Me, where do I fit in?” Tzu asked as he approached.
 
“Here, keeping Luna from being seen,” I responded.
 
“Sir?” Tzu asked.
 
“Did you hear what I told Chelly? My goal is to flood the sewers with so much blood that they overflow and fill the streets. I’d prefer to keep Luna out of that, her reputation doesn’t need the hit,” I replied.
 
“I understand,” Tzu agreed with a nod. About a minute passed as we all watched the approaching city before Abaddon broke the silence.
 
“Am I the only one that isn’t troubled by this? Lord Jekyll is furious, Tzu is terrified for some reason, and all the others are apprehensive, but I’m thrilled. I get to fight again, or at least provide support, and we’ll be down an enemy!” Abaddon cried, shocking the rest of us with his sudden outburst.
 
“Abaddon, this isn’t a fight. It’s not something to get excited about or look forward to. This is a massacre, a mass murder, a slaughter. A fight means that they have a chance, but this lot might as well be children...no, infants. Infants trying to fight full grown, starving wolves have better odds than these fools. This-This is wrong, evil, but I don’t see another way. If I let this slide, Lily will die and Chelly will start pushing me again. I can’t allow either of those things, so the Wardens have to bleed for her,” I reasoned soberly.
 
“Was it evil when you were part of the order?” Abaddon countered.
 
“Yes, and just as necessary,” I answered. Abaddon didn’t have a comeback for that, and silence reigned once more. At least for a few seconds.
 
“Then why’s the thing scared?” a voice accused from behind us. Taking a glance over my shoulder, I regarded Daisy with a single red eye for a moment before turning to face Tzu.
 
“Fear of failure?” I guessed, receiving a nod, “Good. Hold on to that, it’ll keep you from getting lazy. Heh, I’ve learned that lesson far too many times.”
 
“What’s your bucking problem? You scream at the Princess from halfway across Equestria just to threaten her, and then you leave me with that-that thing, AND THEN you show your true colors by jumping up the time table, AND THEN you have the nerve to be sad about it. What the absolute buck?” Daisy ranted.
 
“It’s like looking in a mirror,” I commented, “How long have you been sitting there?”
 
“Shut the buck up and answer my bucking question,” the foul mouthed nurse demanded.
 
“Only if you answer one of mine,” I countered, “Does Tender make you keep quiet so you won’t swear at the patients?”
 
“Yeah, he bucking does. I gotta act all bucking pro-bucking-fessional all the bucking time or he’ll kick me the buck out. Happy?” Daisy seethed.
 
“So much for the whole ‘my job is tending to the sick and I built my entire life around that’ shtick. To answer your question, it’s the two sides of my life conflicting with each other. Before Chelly sealed my home and all of my friends and family in time, I was something of a warlord or a mercenary. It’s kinda complicated. But afterwards, I travelled the world and learned a fair bit from a lot of good people. I discovered that while my abilities were made to take things apart, they could also put them back together,” I began.
 
“If there’s some revelation here-” Daisy attempted impatiently.
 
“I’m a doctor too. Chelly tries to keep it quiet, but I still get referrals from quite a few of your peers. I don’t know Tender personally, but I’d bet Abaddon that he knows of me. You should’ve seen the look on Chelly’s face when she found a copy of that certificate on her desk, she’s been hunting for the stallion that signed off on my license ever since. And the ones that have been letting me renew it,” I concluded.
 
“Who the BUCK is Chelly?”
 
“Celestia.”
 
“WHY?”
 
“Because it bothers the fuck out of her.”
 
“I still don’t like you,” Daisy huffed, unable to find another argument.

“I still don’t give a shit,” I replied, “By the way, that thing that scared you so damn bad is the local therapist if you wanna talk to somebody about your shitty life.”
 
“My life isn’t shitty,” Daisy argued.
 
“If you really believe that,” I commented idly. 
 
“What was that anyway?” Daisy asked, her voice softening as her temper cooled.
 
“Miss Catrix is a succubus, a demon of Tartarus,” Tzu explained tactlessly.
 
“And an old friend, one of the three remaining escapees from the Crystal Kingdom. She wouldn’t hurt you at her worst moment, much less when she’s just looking for something fluffy to cuddle with while she sleeps,” I elaborated quickly, but it was too late.
 
“A demon...a demon touched me,” Daisy mumbled as she fell into a seated position.
 
“I assure you, there are worse things that could’ve happened,” Luna consoled as she joined us.
 
“Like what? I mean-If you would be so kind as to elaborate, your majesty,” Daisy snapped before correcting herself and bowing.
 
“I’ve visited Tartarus twice. From what I have seen with my own eyes-shut up Jay-succubi are the most friendly and docile bipeds you could ever meet, with Cat being a paragon of this particular feature. I myself count her among my friends,” Luna explained.
 
“That-I-You-I give up, you’re all insane,” Daisy declared, “Especially you.”
 
“Me? Clearly, but I’m interested in why you think so,” I cooed, refusing to react in the slightest as the deck pitched violently. Looking back towards Abaddon’s front, I could see the underside of Canterlot as my walking tank-apartment building combination scaled the mountain. Luna seemed to find the new orientation fascinating and wandered off to get a better view.
 
“YOU DON’T MAKE ANY BUCKING SENSE!” Daisy screamed, too absorbed in her fury to notice the direction of gravity.
 
“I might. If you asked the right questions,” I offered. 
 
“Fine, how about why you invaded Canterlot for all of an hour before leaving?”
 
“Chelly asked me to, said she had a lead on an enemy more dangerous than me that she needed taken care of. It was a trap.”
 
“And this deal thing you have with the Princess? Is that what keeps her from killing you?”
 
“I have my own reasons for keeping her alive, but I don’t know why she won’t try to kill me. The deal I was talking about lets her recruit others to harass me and keeps me from killing them, but it also stops them from harming anyone else.”
 
“And what’s a magazine? I assume you weren’t talking about a bunch of papers covered in gossip.”
 
“A stockpile of projectiles lined up and ready to be launched-”
 
“Sir, it’s time,” Abaddon interjected.
 
“Send the assault teams to gather up anyone associated with the Wardens, no deaths yet,” I ordered before turning my attention back to the nurse.
 
“Well?” Daisy asked irritably.
 
“Meh, I’ve already said enough to answer the question. Next,” I replied with a shrug.
 
“Here’s a big one, why the BUCKING TARTARUS is Princess Luna here?” Daisy near screamed.
 
“Learning how to be her own mare, something her parents neglected to teach her. From what I’ve heard so far, they were pretty terrible people,” I answered easily.
 
“Horseapples, that’s where I’m calling it. You are so full of crap,” Daisy accused.
 
“Go ask her then, I haven’t said anything that can’t be easily verified,” I challenged.
 
“Trust me, I will,” Daisy promised defiantly.
 
“You suck, I’m over here being nice as fuck and all I’m getting is hostility. Go pick Luna’s brain if you want, Imma go kill some murderers,” I declared, walking to drop off the side of the deck. I flared my wings before I could crash into the street and managed to avoid cracking the bricks when I landed.
 
The teams of Gammas and Romeos Abaddon had sent were already hard at work dragging gryphons and ponies out of their homes, anyone that wore the symbol of a flaming sword on a white field was targeted. Taking my position as their order, they began shuffling their captives onto the sidewalks around me.
 
One all of the assault teams reported their successes, I began speaking, “Good afternoon Wardens, though it won’t be for much longer.”
 
“Seal the sewer grates. Perhaps some of you are aware of the actions of a few of your members earlier today, specifically a murder and kidnapping. I know that not all of you are responsible, but there are greater things at play and my hands are tied. You all had orders from Celestia herself to never harm anyone other than myself. I know because I was there when she first organized you into a formal religion. This tenant existed because it was part of an arrangement between your ‘goddess’ and I, a deal struck to keep you alive and prevent as much bloodshed as possible,” I continued as I paced along the twin lines of bound fanatics.
 
“However, should you fail to uphold your end of the deal, I am free to pursue my vengeance upon your entire order. That’s what this is. Now I know what you’re thinking, that I’ve been waiting and watching for you to slip up so I could attack. But in reality, I proposed this truce. I wanted you focused on me so you wouldn’t turn on Equestria, I wanted you to live as peacefully as possible. I’ve never killed any of you, and I don’t want to now. And yet, I find myself here anyway. All because Celestia failed to make this right in the time provided. Well, that's not really fair, she shouldn't have had to scramble to fix your mistake while wounded. I think you've listened to me rant long enough, I won't torture you further. Kill them all,” I concluded, tired of lecturing the doomed cultists. As one, the claws of my enforcers descended on the necks of the nearest Wardens, ending their lives painlessly. 
 
I cast a long glance at their mixing blood as it ran over the blocked sewers and slowly creeped down the street. Looking at the bodies, I noted the extreme age range of my newest victims. The eldest was an earth pony, well into his twilight years. The old and grayed stallion wore a serene smile, even in death. While the youngest was arguably still a colt, yet was doomed from the moment his cutie mark appeared. His flank bore the bloodstained emblem of the Wardens. His eternal scowl burned it’s way into my memory as soon as I looked at it.
 
“Where are the kidnappers?” I asked, my rage building once more. I felt my teeth lengthen as my form started to unconsciously shift, but I arrested the change before it could affect me further. This was business.
 
“Two blocks south of here, white building with yellow shutters,” one of the enforcers answered.
 
“Surround it, but do not enter. They belong to me,” I ordered. These were the ones that had condemned their brothers and sisters. These were the ones that had broken a deal I had worked so hard to maintain. These were the ones that had DARED to target my family.
 
I found the house in question without issue and kicked the door through the back wall without bothering to slow down. The smear of blood, splinters, bone fragments, and brains across the floor alerted me to the fact that they had posted a guard. The first Warden to attempt to block me found himself tacked to the ceiling by the blade of his own sword, still I continued unhindered. I found Lily behind a steel door in the cellar, it offered little resistance to my claws and fell in a broken pile.
 
“Uncle Jay? Oh shit, you’re pissed. Those poor dumb bastards, I tried to tell them that they can’t sneak up on you,” Lily lamented as thundering hooves and the scratching of talons echoed through the basement.
 
“How many?” I asked, turning and moving into the remains of the doorway.
 
“A dozen, maybe more. Hey did you kill a gryphon on the way in? Dumbass tried to rape me and left in tears when I made fun of his shrimpy little cat pecker,” Lily responded loudly, drawing a cruel laugh out of me.
 
“You are your mother’s daughter. No, I haven’t seen any gryphons here yet. I’ll make sure he knows how fucked he is,” I promised. 
 
“DIE demon!” one of the remaining Wardens shouted as they charged around the corner. They were attacking in a straight line. ‘Amateurs.’
 
“So which one of you morons thought this was a good idea?” I asked as I dodged and ducked around their wild swings, occasionally darting a claw out to sever a muscle or nerve.
 
“We will win, we must! It has been foretold!” Another Warden hit the ground without any remaining leg muscles.
 
“Nope, I don’t believe in fate; only sharp objects,” I retorted, continuing my deadly dance until none of them were left standing, “Yo, any of these fools the one?”
 
“That’s him, with the white plumage,” Lily confirmed. The accused gryphon suddenly found himself pegged to the wall by a pair of spikes through his shoulders.
 
“Do what you want, as long as you don’t kill him,” I told the unicorn mare before turning my fury on the others. Starting with the closest, I did my best to emulate a ripper in the way I slowly pulled the pegasus's limbs off one by one. Next was a minotaur of all things, and received an inverted spine for his misplaced loyalty. This carried on for a few minutes, until I ran out of Wardens to disable. Yet I refused to kill any of them, every cut was sutured well enough to keep them from bleeding out, every broken bone was set well enough to prevent internal injury. I would not end the Wardens, that responsibility would fall to time.
 
“I think I’m done with this one,” Lily stated, getting my attention. I looked over to find her pinned attacker covered in new bruises and cuts.
 
“Nothing fatal?” I confirmed.
 
“Nope, just painful. Wait, there’s one last thing I want to do,” Lily requested before walking back up to the whimpering gryphon and taking a long lick up his bloody calf, “I thought you should get some consolation prize, you finally got a part of yourself inside me.”
 
“Damn, that was dark as fuck,” I commented, raising an eyebrow.
 
“I get to be pissed off too. You can kill him now, I’m done with this trash,” Lily responded, sounding hollow. I made a note to sit her down and talk to her later.
 
“No, I won’t kill them. I’ve already killed off the rest of their order, I will not have their symbol die by my hand,” I declared, getting a confused look from Lily and a fresh set of wails from my latest victims.
 
“So you’re letting them go? After all they’ve done?” Lily hissed angrily.
 
“I didn’t say that, I have something special in mind for these assholes,” I consoled, gesturing for Lily to go upstairs.
 
“If I don’t approve of this, I’ll get Cat to claw them to pieces. You know she would,” Lily threatened as she grudgingly followed my implied request. Once Lily was safely upstairs, I took one last look at the group responsible for all of this.
 
“You did this. The deaths of all of your friends and comrades lay upon your souls, not mine,” I declared before following lily and leading her out of the house. I ensured that she wouldn’t see me hook tendrils into every load bearing wall as we walked, gifts are meant to be surprises after all, “Ready for their sentence?”
 
“I told you-what’s that?” Lily asked, interrupting herself. With a smile and a heave, I dropped the second story onto the basement.
 
“They lie in their prison and tomb, time will do what I won’t,” I responded, noticing my lapses into my old way of speaking, “Sorry, I don’t know why I said it like that.”
 
“You’ve done that a few times now, might want to talk to Cat about it,” Lily suggested, “They’ll starve down there, works for me.”
 
“Yeeeaahh, you should talk to Cat too. This whole vengeful bitch thing really doesn’t suit you,” I replied, leading Lily back to where the enforcers would be gathering to wait for us.
 
“I’m fine,” Lily stated.
 
“No, you’re not. Come on Lily, you’ve known me for almost your entire life; you can talk to me,” I pressed.
 
“I’m. Fine,” Lily insisted.
 
“I won’t make a scene here, but we will be continuing this conversation at home,” I promised.
 
Lily refused to speak for the rest of our trip, remaining silent even as she climbed onto my back to be flown the rest of the way to Abaddon.
 
“Sir, all teams have reported in. They’re all reporting success and Abaddon says they’re free of corruption. How did your fight go?” Tzu asked when we landed.
 
“Predictably,” I answered simply, as though there was another possibility.
 
“Then the Wardens are gone, it really does feel empty,” Tzu commented.
 
“I agree, this wasn’t a fight. It feels as gratifying as crushing an ant,” Abaddon agreed, giving me an idea.
 
“When we get back, I want you to stomp the shit out of the spiders. Really flatten them. I want them pasted so thin that Jeff can hide them while he rebuilds the town,” I ordered, causing both Tzu and Abaddon’s secondary to hold their foreheads.
 
“I should’ve thought of that,” Tzu commented in bewilderment.
 
“You? I’m the one with the giant feet, I actually stepped around them when we left,” Abaddon added.
 
“Don’t worry about it too much, I didn’t think of it either. But we have bigger issues, Lily’s not doing so well. Where’s Cat?” I asked.
 
“In her room with Mistress Luna, they seemed lonely so I added a doorway between them,” Abaddon answered.
 
“You confined them? That’s a bit much,” I responded.
 
“Not confined as much as encouraged to remain hidden,” Tzu corrected.
 
“With?” I prompted.
 
“The exact wording you gave me regarding her status and reputation, she didn’t take it very well but she didn’t appear angry,” Tzu elaborated.
 
“That works, I’ll head down now,” I replied before setting off again, my adopted niece still weighing down my back. Her position brought back memories of a certain young gryphon, one I was still waiting for, “Lily?”
 
“...”
 
“You know, Frey sat in that exact position when I first started walking towards the Crystal Kingdom.”
 
“...”
 
“She was pretty quiet too.”
 
“...”
 
“This isn’t a punishment, I’m just scared for you.”
 
“Me too,” Lily whispered as the door to Catrix’s room came into view..
 
“It’ll be okay, you’ll feel better once you’ve gotten this off your chest,” I replied soothingly.
 
“But I-and he-what have I done?” Lily attempted before going quiet again, I could feel her silent sobs against my back and the tears pouring into my shoulder.
 
“You’re okay, everything will be okay,” I repeated as I pushed the door open and held up a hand to silence its current occupants, “Lu, could you step out for a minute? Family emergency.”
 
“I’ll be next door if you need anything,” Luna replied as she hurried to give us some privacy.
 
“What happened?” Catrix asked as I moved to set Lily down, however the young unicorn wouldn’t let go of my neck. After a few seconds of shifting around her, I had her in my lap with her forelegs tightly wrapped around my arm.
 
“...” Back to the silent treatment.
 
“Lily, please look at me. Come on, it’s Aunt Catrix, you know me. It’s okay, you’re safe now, nobody’s going to hurt you,” Catrix cooed as she slowly closed the distance and sat next to me, rewarding Lily’s hesitant look with a soft stroke to her mane.
 
“I lied,” Lily admitted tearfully, “I lied and I’m so sorry.”
 
“Tell me what happened, nobody’s going to judge you for anything,” Catric continued, holding Lily’s attention while I checked her for injuries.
 
“I blacked out, I didn’t know until we were walking away. I thought-I-I thought…” Lily trailed off, dissolving into tears again.
 
“It’s not your fault, you know it’s not your fault,” Catrix insisted.
 
“I drank his blood. I drank his blood to taunt him, but he-he...he did touch me. I feel wrong, spoiled, like I’m broken somehow,” Lily confessed.
 
“I remember, but it fades. You’re not broken Lily, just hurt worse than ever before. These wounds will heal just like any other, if you let them. You’re too strong to let this bastard break your spirit, I know you are,” Catrix stated, her voice hardening slightly as Lily returned to crying quietly.
 
“I want my mom,” Lily requested through her tears.
 
“You’ll get her. Abaddon,” I responded.
 
“I’ve sent a squad, they’ve been instructed to move as fast as possible. Miss Lucky will be here within the hour,” Abaddon promised.
 
“Could I lay down? I don’t feel so good,” Lily asked. I gently lifted her and placed her on Catrix’s bed before sitting on her left side, Catrix herself soon joined us on Lily’s right.
 
“We’ll make sure you’re alright, even if it means staying here all night,” Catrix soothed. Lily smiled slightly at her before whipping her head around and vomiting into my lap.
 
“I’m sorry,” Lily apologized between heaves.
 
“It’s fine, let it out,” I soothed, rubbing Lily’s back as she vomited again, “That’s a good girl.”
 
“Jay?” Catrix asked, focusing her attention on me now that Lily was occupied.
 
“I was the legate back there, more than ever before. I was even talking like I did back then, trying to be so damn poetic for Dirge’s dumb drinking songs. I left them in a living hell, condemned to die of starvation if they can find some water and actually drink it,” I confessed.
 
“If there was ever a good time, this was it. You gave them what they deserved, maybe less, but nothing worth beating yourself up over. They attacked your family, you should be pissed,” Catrix reassured.
 
“Uhhhh, I think that’s all of it,” Lily announced, drawing Catrix and my attentions once again.
 
“All of it?” I asked.
 
“The blood, I had to get it out,” Lily explained, her eyes drooping as she began to pass out. Suddenly her eyes snapped back open and became wild, “Out, that’s what I need. Get it out.”
 
“Lily, calm down and tell us what you’re talking about,” Catrix said evenly.
 
“You’re a doctor, a surgeon, the best, I need you to get it out. I’ll die before I give birth to his foal, or chick, or whatever the fuck. Get it out. Get it out. Getitoutgetitoutgetitout,” Lily begged, becoming hysterical as her tears began anew.
 
“Alright, just lay still and it’ll be over before you know it,” I responded, using the same tone as every other time I’d treated her in the past. I’d hoped it would bring some familiarity and comfort to her, and it seemed to work. Her rigid stillness gave me the brief moment I needed to place a gentle hand on her side and send the smallest tendrils I could through the pores in her skin.
 
After searching out and collecting every last foreign cell, I set my other hand further up and scrubbed any remaining blood from her stomach. Within a second, only the mental scarring remained, “That’s all of it.”
 
“Burn it, I need to see it burn away,” Lily demanded. With a look at the nearby living matchstick, I pooled the liquids in a blister on my palm. At Catrix’s nod, I detached it from my hand and tossed it to her. Lily’s eyes tracked the globule as it travelled the short distance into Catrix’s blazing hand and sizzled briefly as it was incinerated.
 
“The smell,” Lily requested. Abaddon didn’t need any further prompting before he took action. The room we were in ceased to exist for a split second as Abaddon filled the space with biomatter to purge the contaminants from the air, “That’s it then, it’s all over.”
 
“But the crying,” I added, finishing the quote and getting a hoof to the side for my trouble.
 
“Not really ready to be cheered up yet, thanks for trying though. And for doing that for me, knowing that it’s gone helps. Almost like you two managed to reverse it,” Lily thanked, drawing a concerned look from Catrix. I too gave her a wary glance at her quick turnaround, suspecting that she had switched to trying to suppress her pain.
 
“Lily? Why don’t you sleep in my bed tonight? Just so I can watch over you,” Catrix suggested, a hint of suspicion in her voice.
 
“Your cousins will also be ready to help if you need or want anything,” I added, getting a rumble of agreement from Abaddon.
 
“Sleep actually does sound pretty good right now, it’s been a long day,” Lily conceded as she shuffled up to the pillowy blisters and closed her eyes. Her light snores hit a few seconds later.
 
“I have to go find something to punch,” I excused as I stood.
 
“Don’t go far, Lucky should hear it from you,” Catrix said.
 
“I won’t,” I promised before walking up to the new door that separated Catrix’s room from mine and walked through. Luna sat on the bed, her eyes red and swollen.
 
“Cat’s right, you hear everything through these walls whether you want to or not,” Luna explained.
 
“You wanna know the worst part? I don’t think those jokers were real Wardens. They might’ve been stupid and annoying, but they were still a knightly order and followed the code. This bunch didn’t even fight like them, they were far too disorganized. But it’s what they did to Lily that settles it. Three people knew about that deal, me, Chelly, and Dopple. So unless your sister got tired of being worshiped, unlikely, then this is Dopple’s handiwork. Which means I killed the Wardens for nothing,” I ranted, “I do not like being manipulated.”
 
“Oh,” Luna managed, lying down as she processed this.
 
“I fucking hate this,” I hissed, driving my fist into the wall.
 
“My cannons stand ready…” Abaddon offered.
 
“For the love of fuck, YES! BURN IT DOWN, THEN BURN THE ASHES, THEN BURN THOSE! SHELL THAT FUCKING HOUSE UNTIL THERE’S NOTHING BUT A CRATER!” I roared, throwing more useless punches into the wall with every word.
 
“Jay, you’re starting to scare me,” Luna said as Abaddon’s guns went live. Those simple words evaporated my rage and left only fatigue behind.
 
“Fuck all of this, I’m not moving until Lucky gets here,” I declared, flopping onto the bed next to Luna.
 
“Do you need a hug?” Luna offered, pressing against my side.
 
“I am a shapeshifting, cannibalistic, warlord-slash-doctor that has no ethical problem with burying people alive and then setting them on fire. Yes, I would like a hug,” I conceded, allowing Luna to crawl on top of me and loop her forelegs around my neck. After a moment I placed my right hand on her neck and softly stroked her mane.
 
“Feeling better?” Luna asked after a few minutes.
 
“A little, but I’m still not getting up,” I replied, though Luna was happily dozing on my shoulder and didn’t seem to mind.
 
“Okay. While we’re here, could you scratch my scalp? It’s hard to scratch itches with hooves but your fingers seem made for it,” Luna requested. I curled my fingers and added my other hand to Luna’s mane, eliciting a blissful sigh from the mare, “Mmmm, higher.”
 
“What’s thi-hold on...where the fuck did you pick up fleas?” I asked as I swarmed tendrils over Luna’s body and consumed the parasites.
 
“That’s a good question, I don’t really go anywhere,” Luna responded in confusion, her head popping up as she thought.
 
“All I can think of is the bed in Tartarus, I don’t actually know when it was cleaned last. I mean, I assumed it had been washed regularly, but I never thought to check,” I proposed.
 
“That’s gross, you need some new maids,” Luna replied.
 
“Yeah, I’m really glad that I fired them now,” I agreed.
 
“Even One-Eye? Oh well, I never even learned their names,” Luna commented before shrugging and lying back down.
 
“Are you comfortable like that? I can adjust myself to be more comfortable if you want?” I offered.
 
“I’m fine. But if you want to be softer, I wouldn’t complain,” Luna replied. After thinking for a bit, I settled on a mix of my current form and my original one, ending up as a human without any hard elbows or shoulders to dig into Luna’s skin.
 
“I could get used to this,” Luna commented sleepily as she settled in and I returned to stroking her mane with one hand. She dozed off a few minutes later, though I continued running my fingers through her hair.
 
“Sir, Miss Lucky just arrived,” Abaddon whispered.
 
“Guide her down here, and make sure she knows everyone is asleep,” I ordered quietly, getting a curt nod from Abaddon before he disappeared. I got a few more minutes of peace before Lucky arrived.
 
“Jay? What happened? Where’s Lily?” Lucky whisper shouted.
 
“Ease up, she’s sleeping next door. You can take the door over there,” I responded, pointing at the new doorway with my free hand, “She’s not doing so well, she was attacked today.”
 
Lucky’s eyes narrowed, “Define attacked.”
 
“The kind that requires a lack of honor. She was kidnapped earlier, and one of Luna’s guards died protecting her, but I got her back within the hour,” I explained, dropping most of the details I knew she wouldn’t care about.
 
“But she got hurt before you could? I assume whoever did this died painfully... Be honest with me Jay, is my daughter going to die?” Lucky asked soberly, her eyes slowly filling with tears.
 
“Not that kind of hurt,” I corrected.
 
“No. You’re not saying she-” Lucky began.
 
“Was raped, yes. Over a thousand lives have paid for her pain, but it doesn’t help. Cat’s in there with her now, either watching her sleep or trying to help her cope,” I continued.
 
“Oh my sweet Lily, what did they do to you?” Lucky asked, her own tears falling freely.
 
“If there was ever an expert on surviving that kind of trauma, it’s Cat. She’s in the best hands I could find,” I consoled, pulling Lucky into a one armed hug for support. Luna added her own leg shortly after, but remained silent as Lucky wept.
 
“Can I see her? I want to see her,” Lucky requested quietly once she had cried herself out.
 
“Of course you can. Luna?” I replied, prompting Luna to move so I could get up and lead Lucky into the next room.
 
“She was resting when I left,” I warned as we neared the door.
 
“I just want to be with her, I don’t need to talk to let her know that I’m here,” Lucky responded. With a nod, I opened the door. Inside, we found Catrix holding a shivering, and very awake, Lily.
 
“Mommy?” Lily asked when she saw her mother.
 
“I’m here,” Lucky answered as she darted forward and jumped onto the bed. The two mares embraced awkwardly, even though Catrix did her best to get out of the way, “Oh Lily, how are you feeling? Are you hurt?”
 
“I had a nightmare, but I’m okay,” Lily replied after a moment.
 
“What?” Lucky asked on reflex, having not gotten the answer she was expecting. Catrix and I shared a concerned look before returning our collective attention back to the pair.
 
“I know Jay must’ve told you I was...violated, but I’m okay now. He and Cat undid it, I’m fine,” Lily confirmed sincerely.
 
“Lily, stay put. Everybody else, huddle up,” I ordered, pulling Catrix and Lucky with me to the other side of the room, “What the fuck?”
 
“What does she mean you ‘undid it’?” Lucky asked, confused.
 
“She threatened to kill herself if she got pregnant, so I caved and pulled everything out. Then Cat burned it,” I explained.
 
“This is so far from healthy,” Catrix commented.
 
“So what do we do?” I asked.
 
“It would be cruel to bring all those memories back and force her to face them, but that’s what we have to do isn’t it?” Catrix proposed.
 
After a few seconds of silence, Lucky lost her mind, “Someone has to say it. Should we just let her keep her fantasy?”
 
“It could come back, and if it does she’ll be more of a wreck than she was before you got here,” Catrix warned.
 
“I might be able to isolate those memories and block them, she’d forget it ever happened,” I offered.
 
“You want to play around in my daughter’s brain?” Lucky asked in shock.
 
“Absolutely not, I have some experience with Luna’s though. It’d be a controlled environment, and would mitigate the risk. Plus I think it would be cool to be able to talk silently with her,” I corrected.
 
“I think this is a horrible plan, and you’re horrible people for even considering it,” Catrix stated.
 
“And you’d let her spend the rest of her life as a victim?” Lucky accused.
 
“It’s not like she wouldn’t figure it out, ‘huh, I was a virgin yesterday. I wonder what happened,’” Catrix shot back, her voice deepening for some unfathomable reason.
 
“Seriously?” I asked, incredulous.
 
“She’s just a flirt that likes her toys a little too much, but she was intact. Somehow. I could see the blood when she rolled over in her sleep,” Catrix elaborated.
 
“Jay, you’re our doctor, how did you not notice?” Lucky asked.
 
“I try to preserve some level of privacy, she was a damn filly after all,” I retorted defensively, “Besides, I can fix that while I’m working on her brain.”
 
“I hate this,” Catrix reiterated.
 
“So do I, but I’m not seeing a better option. And furthermore, who are you to talk Miss Kill-Herself-To-Forget?” I countered.
 
“This is different, you’re talking about altering her biology to make your lives easier. That’s wrong no matter how you phrase it,” Catrix insisted.
 
“They’re talking about altering my biology to make my life easier,” Lily corrected, appearing in the center of our huddle, “And I approve, it’s just the last few things that need to be scrubbed away. Oh, and I wasn’t actually intact, that was from his-”
 
“Too much information!” Lucky interrupted, her eyes going wide.
 
“Less to worry about then, I’ll talk to Luna and see what she thinks,” I said, turning to leave. I found Luna in the doorway, sitting as though her ear had been pressed against the door. Her frustrated look quickly became a sheepish smile when she realized she’d been caught.
 
“I got curious,” she explained.
 
“Come on in, we need to talk,” I stated neutrally, moving to the side to let her pass.
 
“Jay, Lily, all of you, I’m sorry for eavesdropping,” Luna apologized.
 
“It saves us time, in this case. I want to hear your opinions on this. Lily wants the memories blocked and all damage repaired, she wants to never know it even happened, I believe I can accomplish this. Cat hates the idea, Lucky’s in favor, I’m on the fence,” I summarized.
 
“I wish I could forget my time as the Nightmare, but I’d never let that happen. Those memories make me who I am today, I don’t know what I would be like without them. They’re a part of me now. Do you really believe you would be happier living a lie?” Luna asked sadly.
 
“It’s not-well, I guess it would be. But it would be you four keeping it, can you let me live in peace? Would you make that sacrifice for me?” Lily countered.
 
“I hate lying, especially to you and your sisters. But that isn’t even a question to me, your happiness matters so much more,” Lucky answered instantly.
 
“I’m tempted to open my throat right now, just on the off chance that I’ll forget enough of this conversation to avoid hating Jay,” Catrix seethed.
 
“Secrets and lies are nothing new to me, comes with hiding from Chelly for all these years,” I responded.
 
“I-I don’t know. If this is what you really want, then I’ll try,” Luna agreed after a moment.
 
“Jay if you go through with this, we’re d-” Catrix began.
 
“NO! Cat, you and Jay have been friends forever, don’t throw that away over this. Immortals like you need friends more than anyone else, you in particular. Cat, I’m just a mortal, here one day and gone the next. My life isn’t worth the bond between two immortals, much less a single memory,” Lily interrupted.
 
“Fine. I deserve an eternity in the pits with twelve incubi for this, but fine. I’ll fucking try,” Catrix conceded with a scowl before reaching up and snapping her own neck. Her lifeless body burned to ash before it even hit the floor.
 
“This feels wrong, yet…” Luna trailed off.
 
“I know,” I added.
 
“So how do we do this?” Luna asked.
 
“I need a familiar brain to practice on first, someone I’ve linked with. I need to peel your skull open and examine how your brain functions to be able to do this safely,” I revealed, causing Luna’s eyes to widen.
 
“I, uh, I don’t know about this anymore,” Luna commented nervously.
 
“It won’t hurt and the risk will be minimal, but I will need you awake and it’ll feel really weird. As for incentives, I can give us the ability to communicate and transfer memories silently and instantly as well as make you immune to concussions. Possible side effects include perfect long term memory and faster information retrieval, also increased appetite and a host of other minor issues,” I explained.
 
“What do you mean by minor issues?” Luna continued.
 
“I won’t know until the procedure is over, but they should be easily fixed,” I replied.
 
“Can you give an example?” Luna requested.
 
“Considering your recent bout of doubling, odds are that part of you brain would be targeted as well. You might experience a ravenous libido or a lack of one altogether. Or it might be alerted to your spinal column due to your activities with Cat and leave you in a constant state of hyperstimulation. But like I said, these will be easy enough to fix,” I elaborated.
 
“Hyperstimulation?” Luna asked.
 
“You fed the Nightstallion magic, right? That’s hyperstimulation,” Lily explained before starting to giggle.
 
“What’s so funny? This is scary you know,” Luna chastised.
 
“The Nightstallion is based on the idea of a male Nightmare Moon, you got off on yourself,” Lily laughed, ruining the tense mood.
 
“I assume you can fix these ‘minor’ issues quickly?” Luna asked, though she was fighting her own smile..
 
“As soon as I know they exist, it should take less than a second,” I confirmed.
 
“Then let’s get this over with, how do you need me to stand?” Luna sighed.
 
“Just lay down and try to relax, I promise this won’t hurt a bit,” I instructed. Once Luna was in position, I had Abaddon hold her head flat and still while I straddled her neck.
 
“Let me know when you start,” Luna requested as I pulled her scalp back to expose the white bone underneath.
 
“I already have, it’ll feel funny when I get to the important part,” I replied as I formed a claw and began carefully cutting away pieces of her skull and placing them in a bowl shaped appendage.
 
“Jay, I just though of something. Could this type of procedure be used for other purposes?” Luna asked.
 
“You want a pressure point that hypersensitizes you? Sure, I’ll put it on the back of your knee,” I guessed.
 
“No, I meant for control. Couldn’t you use this to move me around like a puppet?” Luna corrected.
 
“I have mind control magic, this is ridiculous in comparison,” I pointed out.
 
“Could Dopple?” Luna pressed, causing me to hesitate as the thought struck home.
 
“Luna, don’t get caught by any rogues. This is the kind of thing that shouldn’t be seen outside of this group,” I warned. Finally, I had the top of her head open to the world and could start working. I began by replacing her cerebral fluid with biomass and slowly inching it along her neurons until I had her entire brain mapped, “Chocolate.”
 
“What?” Luna asked, but the memory of the candy had already flared.
 
“Love.” Two locations flared, but one was next to the chocolate point and was ignored.
 
“WE’RE UNDER ATTACK, GET DOWN!” And that’s fear located. I reached up and pinched Luna’s ear, finding pain. Another point lit unexpectedly, and after further examination I discovered it was this situation being formed into a memory. Following its path, I recognized where it was sorted and how it was filed. 
 
“Only one spot left that I need to check, are you ready?” I asked.
 
“What are you going to do?” Luna countered, her voice full of apprehension.
 
“Nothing too invasive, just this,” I answered as I sprouted another arm out of my back and rubbed at the space under Luna’s tail. A comparatively massive location in Luna’s brain all but burst into flames at my touch. Though on closer examination, it was actually two different nerve centers receiving runoff from each other, “Interesting.”
 
“That can’t be good,” Luna whimpered breathlessly. Lucky and Lily were doing their collective best to remain unnoticed.
 
“There’s something odd here, I need to investigate further to see what’s happening,” I warned before my hand returned to its position on her posterior. Luna’s whine at the sudden attention became a moan far too quickly, and gave me my answer, “Your pleasure center is in the wrong place, it’s far too close to your spinal cord. And it’s getting a feedback loop from this other one… What is that?”
 
“That is the last thing you want to hear when someone’s poking around up there,” Luna replied.
 
“Subject change causes the signals to move all the way back to the frontal lobe, perhaps modesty or shyness. That cluster is abnormally dense as well, suggesting you hide a lot of your impulses. This is truly fascinating, I think my next degree will involve neurosurgery. Anyway, back on topic. Luna, I’m going to run a little test. Just say whatever feels natural,” I instructed before blocking all signals to the overdeveloped cluster.
 
“Like what?” Luna asked.
 
“How about you tell me what’s on your mind right now,” I proposed.
 
“I’m imagining what it would be like for us to have sex while you play with my brain. And now I’m wondering why I said that. And now I’m scared. And now-” Luna rambled, unable to stop herself.
 
“That’s enough, I have all I need from this area,” I interjected, moving back to the cluster that had intrigued me before, “I’ll be able to finish this up once I understand this node. Hmm, perhaps I can get two birds with this one? Luna, do you remember the last time we spoke before Catrix treated you? What I did?” I prompted. Without the node in the frontal lobe to siphon the signals, my mystery node lit up brighter than ever before in addition to alerting me to the desired memory, “Perfect, I have all I need from your brain. If I didn’t know you and was only looking at your neural pathways, I’d assume you had a penchant for nocturnal activities. All that’s left is the promised alterations, one second.”
 
“Did you just call me a whore? Can I have control of my voice back please? Or you could ravish me, though I’d prefer the first one,” Luna requested as well as she could.
 
“Sure, I’m done rerouting signals anyway. Just give me a few seconds to piece your head back together and we’ll be done,” I agreed, following her request immediately while I simultaneously prepared the new bioform for its intended purpose and rebuilt Luna’s skull. When I was finished, Luna sported millions of microscopic holes in her skull, each occupied with a tendril that both reinforced her cranium and allowed for easier linking between us.
 
“My head feels a little heavier, but not too much to ignore,” Luna commented while I reattached her scalp, taking great care in ensuring that I didn’t leave any scars.
 
“And done, any side effects?” I asked, stepping back.
 
“Um, well, I’m, you know, but you were touching me,” Luna admitted.
 
“Keep an eye out for anything that doesn’t seem like something you’d say or do,” I advised before turning to face my next patient.
 
“What will you tell me afterwards?” Lily asked.
 
“You were hit on the head and it cracked your skull, I administered emergency surgery and was forced to alter you in order to keep you alive,” I replied, “And then I’ll inform you that you’ve been unconscious ever since, so I had your mother brought over just in case.”
 
“I’ll believe you, I think. Sounds believable enough anyway. Let’s do this,” Lily declared, lying down in a mirror of how Luna had been.
 
“It’ll be harder for you, I’ll have to learn your brain and then isolate every part of your captivity and the time afterwards. I’ll be blocking you from forming new memories as well, so this will be a few minutes at a time and very disorientating. Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, giving her another chance to back out.
 
“Yes, I really really do,” Lily affirmed.
 
I sighed and got into position, “Then let’s begin.”
 

Two Hours Later

 
“I feel fucking dirty,” I complained as I rested against the wall next to Luna and Lucky. Lily was still comatose, though her bioform would let her wake up when the sun rose in about fifteen hours.
 
“And I want to wring your neck, but we both know you had to,” Lucky agreed.
 
“Are you sure I’m not being affected by this thing? I’m still...let’s go with bothered,” Luna asked again. I’d checked her bioform five times, it was a clean alteration; no unplanned effects.
 
“You could go fuck yourself,” Lucky joked...again.
 
“Luna, I think that might be a good idea. You should go burn some of that adrenaline,” I encouraged.
 
“Not until Lily’s fine,” Luna adamantly refused.
 
“Is it because I’m here?” Lucky guessed.
 
“No,” Luna lied. I reached over and tapped the side of her head, prompting the bioform to act, “Yes it is I’m convinced you’ll come in and decide I’m doing it wrong and then I’ll get another lesson and I wasn’t ready for the last one and why am I still talking?”
 
I tapped Luna’s head again, stopping her verbal diarrhea, “You went a little far last time, Lucky.”
 
“Yeah, I probably did. But how often do you get to teach your passion to one of the princesses?” Lucky challenged.
 
“Every day,” I responded, hooking an arm around each of them.
 
“You are so full of it,” Lucky mocked lightly.
 
“Meh, maybe. But I’m the one who just stole an entire day from your daughter, so I think I’ve earned a little cockyness,” I argued.
 
“Not to interrupt, but shouldn’t Tia have thrown a fit by now?” Luna asked.
 
“Why? Because I parked a leviathan on her city and massacred her favorite band of cultists? In all honesty, she’s probably too busy dealing with the aftermath to yell at me right now,” I replied.
 
“I suppose that’s what I should be doing too. Fuck it, I had brain surgery today,” Luna stated, kicking at nothing with one hoof.
 
“Hold on, there’s one thing I still haven’t tested. Wanna give telepathy a shot?” I suggested.
 
“I just sit here and think right?” Luna asked, prompting me to run a tendril through her mane to connect to the ones in her scalp.
 
‘Yes, can you hear-OH MY GOD!’ I thought, pulling away as it finished setting up and showed me what was in Luna’s head. I felt a powerful need to wash my hands for twelve hundred years.
 
“I didn’t think you were religious,” Luna commented innocently.
 
“I’m not. But it wasn’t just speech, I got visual and audio too. You have a twisted imagination,” I explained, shivering slightly as Luna threw me a bashful smile and Lucky tried to laugh herself to death.
 
“Sorry, I’ll try to tone it down if you want to try again,” Luna promised. I tentatively returned the tendril to its former location and mentally prepared myself for what awaited me.
 
‘I don’t know what I was expecting to find, but that was insane. I can deal with this though,’ I commented.
 
‘I said I was sorry. Hey, how come I can’t see your imagination?’ Luna asked.
 
‘It isn’t active enough for you to see without practice, shouldn’t that modesty thing be shutting you down by now?’ I responded, distracted by the outright impossible scene before me.
 
‘I don’t know, maybe it has something to do with how it’s in my own mind and not being said out loud?’ Luna postulated, ‘It’s either that or my newest passenger is lowering my inhibitions.’
 
‘Just checked, it isn’t. Seriously, couldn’t you make this a little believable?’ I complained, getting distracted again.
 
‘What, can’t you do that?’ Luna challenged, nudging my side with her elbow and getting a sly look from Lucky.
 
‘I can, you can’t. That’s not how normal people work. The start is plausible, your replacement eyes can survive on their own for a little while, but after that, no way,’ I argued.
 
‘Fine, what do you want then? Just normal standing?’ Luna offered.
 
‘Can you imagine anything other than us fucking?’ I requested.
 
‘As far as I can see, this is your fault. You can terminate this link if you want, or you can enjoy watching another you plow another me into the ground,’ Luna declared.
 
‘I’d love to bail, but I need you to find my imagination. Maybe even my memories,’ I instructed.
 
“Sounds easy enough.” Luna replied.
 
‘Keep it mental for now, just for practice,’ I added.
 
‘Okay, I’ll try,’ Luna agreed. After several minutes of watching the same scene replay over and over, my mind filled instead with the sight of storm clouds.
 
‘Good job. Did you find my memories too?’ I asked, sure Luna could sense the pride I felt.
 
‘I found one, it wasn’t a happy memory. That poor chick…’ Luna answered after a few seconds.
 
‘Frey?’
 
‘It was when you saved her. I felt your pain. How do you live like this? It’s horrible,‘ Luna responded.
 
‘It isn’t all the time, just when I’m reminded of them. Remembering every second I’d lived all the time would be impossible, I usually think of it as an expanding library with a superman level librarian,’ I explained.
 
‘Thanks for the references, nerd,’ Luna mocked lightly.
 
“Fuck you,” I griped.
 
‘Please do, I doubt Lucky would mind if we disappeared for a few minutes.’
 
“Are you being serious?”
 
“No.” ‘Yes.’
 
“Can you give me a straight answer?”
 
“‘I’m trying’”
 
I severed the connection and stared into Luna’s eyes for a moment, “Yes...or no?”
 
Luna closed her eyes and looked down for almost a minute as she collected herself, but when she looked back at me her eyes were focused and committed, “Yes.”
 
“Lucky, hold down the fort. Luna and I have another plate to spin,” I ordered cryptically.
 
“Damn, did the bitch show up?” Lucky guessed as Luna and I stood up.
 
“Not yet, but this is more important than her anyway,” I replied.
 
“You two better be glowing when you get back,” Lucky demanded as we reached the door.
 
“How does she do that?” Luna asked.
 
“I have no idea,” I replied. We both looked at Lucky for answers, but her smug grin held none. Once we entered our room, we both headed straight for the bed. The issue was that neither of us knew how to get things started with the other, so we sat there in silence for nearly a half hour.
 
“Jay?”
 
“Yeah?”
 
“I think we’re going to need Cat.”
 
“I’m sorry, I’ve just...I’ve never started anything like this with this body. I remember how it’s done, but-well, yeah,” I apologized.
 
“It’s fine, I’m in roughly the same position. I know the steps but not where to start,” Luna agreed.
 
“If we bring Cat in to help, she’s going to want to join,” I advised. Luna pursed her lips at this.
 
“I guess I should get used to her, that is her actual job after all,” Luna commented, prompting me to open a small portal on the wall behind us and pull the first fleshy thing I felt back through.
 
“Hey boss,” Harry greeted.
 
“Hey Harry, could you put Cat in my hand when you get back?”
 
“Sure boss.”
 
“Thanks Harry,” I said as I pushed my steward back through the portal and released him. I felt a new form enter my grip a few seconds later and finally retrieved Catrix. 
 
Catrix took one look at us and tossed me a devilish smile, “Is this what I think it is?”
 
“Well, you know-” I began.
 
“Shut up. Luna, lay down. Jay, kiss your damn wife,” Catrix ordered.
> Chapter 20.5: Scratching the Itch (Optional Sex Scene)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna

 
“Shut up. Luna, lay down. Jay, kiss your damn wife,” Catrix ordered.
 
“Um, isn’t that a bit forward?” I asked uncertainly.
 
“You came here to bang, right?” Catrix deadpanned, “The whole trusting cock sending you into convulsions of pleasure until you pass out, and maybe continue until you wake up just long enough for it to knock your ass back out.”
 
Even my nose turned red as my face flushed, Catrix’s imagery adding to the fire in my nethers, “Oh.”
 
“So lay the fuck down, on your back, and open your fucking mind. Jay, I will burn the shit out of you if you pussy out,” Catrix threatened.
 
“I’ll behave,” Jekyll promised, his eyes widening as Catrix’s fingers lengthened into claws and burst into flames. Not wanting to incur Catrix’s wrath either, I fell onto my back as fast as gravity would allow. I muttered a silent thanks to Jekyll and Abaddon that the bed was soft.
 
“Don’t crush me,” I requested as Jekyll threw himself on top of me, thankfully catching himself on his elbows. Catrix flashed a wicked grin at our compliance.
 
“Kiss,” Catrix ordered, prompting Jekyll to press his lips into mine. I squirmed as the pressure built, but was too caught in the moment to offer any resistance.
 
“With tongue,” Catrix added. The kiss deepened as I tilted my head to allow my husband better access, and my hips started twitching on their own once I felt his tongue dancing around mine. On instinct, I wrapped my forehooves around his neck while he placed one of his own powerful hands on the back of my neck. As the seconds ticked by, I found that I was the one adding more and more force to our kiss; even pushing Jekyll’s head back in my passion.
 
“You good?” Jekyll asked when I succumbed to my burning lungs’ desire for oxygen.
 
“Oh yeah,” I replied breathlessly. Such a simple thing, but it was driving the need in my loins to new, blissful heights and I wanted more.
 
“Y’all are backwards, turn around so your heads are at the pillows. Actually, Luna, I want you on top of Jay,” Catrix instructed.
 
“I was going to suggest that anyway,” Jay commented as we rolled into the new position. Now that I had the high ground, I could renew my assault with as much force as I desired. Jay’s head pressed into the pillow as I did my best to fuse our faces. 
 
“When you’re ready, tell him what you want,” Catrix stated.
 
I sat up and did my best to balance on my hips while I contemplated that question. My head tilted unconsciously as I wracked my brain for anything, but it was so clouded that I could barely think at all. Perhaps a suggestion would get the gears turning again, “I don’t really know what I can ask for.”
 
“I’ve been in your head, you can ask for anything you can actually do without some extreme modifications. Hell, you could go for that one image that you had looping,” Jay suggested. My enhanced memory instantly retrieved the loop he was referencing, and my jaw nearly dropped as it formed in my mind. I had imagined being pressed up against a wall while Jay held my hind legs and buried his face in my vagina.
 
“That’s a real thing?” I asked, incredulous but eager, “Let’s do that one!”
 
I had myself up to Jay’s neck before he had a chance to respond, though I paused as I considered what I was about to do, “Second thoughts?”
 
“You’re sure this is a real thing? It just seems so...gross,” I confirmed. Jay responded by grabbing my hips and pulling me onto his face, keeping his hands on my hips while he got to work. I nearly fell over when his tongue traced the edge of my marehood, shivering violently as I was worked over by Jay’s dexterous tongue. Rather than push deeper, Jay searched around the front until he found something very sensitive, “Ooooh, that’s why.”
 
“Yeah, getting eaten can be fun if it’s in the right place, getting a nice finger or two is a good warm up as well,” Catrix advised as she walked right up to my shoulder, “On that note, I’m getting bored over here.”
 
At Catrix’s implied order, Jay’s left hand left my waist and started blindly searching for where Catrix’s legs met. After the second blind grope, her hand found his and guided it into her warm embrace. Seeing Catrix garner any pleasure from my husband sent a pang of jealousy through my heart, at least until his grip tightened and he slid a second tongue deep within me. I gasped as his second tongue found a sweet spot, though my rapid breathing quickly became quiet moans when he focused on both of the sensitive spots relentlessly. My hips began bucking against Jay’s grip as I tried to steal even more pleasure from his actions. With Jay’s tongue rolling around inside of me, I became aware of how much I was leaking. I’d seen my excreations before, on Lucky and Lily’s gifts, but never like this, Jay’s entire face glistened with my juices. Just as I thought I couldn’t take any more,  Jay slid his hand down my navel to play with my lower lips, driving me into my first climax of the night when a finger followed his second tongue inside.
 
“OH BY THE STARS DON’T STOP!” I cried as I felt my nethers convulse around his probing tongue and finger, my body didn’t take long to follow as the white hot ecstasy raced up my spine. 
 
“That’s a good girl, let it take you for a ride. What’s your count Jay? I’ve got thirty seconds,” Catrix cooed.
 
“Same,” Jay managed through the generous mouthful of my fluids. I felt myself slide backwards as I floated along in the tides of pleasure. The feeling of sliding across Jays body, made frictionless by my natural lubricant, only propelled me to greater heights.
 
“Is that bad?” I asked once I came down far enough to think. I also found that rather than extinguishing, the fire in my loins was hotter than ever...and I liked it. 
 
“Ponies suck at sex, it’s just a fact of life. You’ve got the good end of that deal though, being a mare. Not taking much to be satisfied is a damn blessing for a female,” Catrix explained.
 
“What’s normal theeeeahhhh!” I attempted, though my train of thought was derailed when Jay pushed my almost frictionless plot down to his legs and ensured that I made as much contact with him as possible.
 
“Gryphons aren’t a whole lot better, but the rest of the surface typically goes for between five and twenty minutes. Jay doesn’t count and I take three days to work over properly,” Catrix continued. It occurred to me that she didn’t seem to care about the fingers Jay had massaging her insides. If she didn’t want them, then I wanted them back.
 
“Stallions don’t measure in minutes, they last for six to ten strokes,” Jay concluded while his right hand returned to rubbing my lower lips. I placed a hoof on his hand and held him there as my passion began building once more, feeling intoxicated by the combination of his unyielding fingers pulling and pushing in all the right ways and the musk hanging in the air from my orgasm.
 
“Can we?...Could?...I want it,” I managed between my heavy breaths.
 
“Hold on now, your stud’s going to need a reference so he doesn’t hurt you,” Catrix warned, “How well does your toy fit?”
 
“It...stretches...but not...too far...hits something...in me...when all...the way,” I breathed, already climbing the mountain again.
 
“Here you go Jay, I’d guess that an inch shorter would be about perfect,” Catrix advised as she produced my Nightstallion and set it on Jay’s hip. I looked between Jay and my toy with naught but desire in my eyes, I wanted him and Lily’s gift would give him the way to make it happen. I briefly considered having the toy in me as well, but dismissed the idea as two of them couldn’t possibly fit...could they?
 
Jay recreated the dildo at the base of his legs, then began his adjustments while I watched with rapt attention. I was so focused on the new cock that I didn’t even notice I was drooling until a drop of it landed on the head. I needed that penis, I needed it now, and it needed to be slick. I continued drooling on Jay’s cock, though now it was intentional, while he finished his alterations.
 
“Don’t worry, it’ll be yours to play with in a moment,” Jay promised, getting my attention for long enough to receive a sloppy smile. He finally finished the length adjustment and swapped out the flared head in favor of a softer, pointed one. It felt like an eternity with the longing, empty feeling in my hindquarters.
 
“It looks like yours when Discord…” I trailed off as I  bent down to get a closer look at the sixteen inch tool. I took a long lick out of curiosity and nearly climaxed again from the intensity, though there wasn’t much taste at all.
 
“Call it a personal preference, it’ll get the job done,” Jay replied with a smile of his own as I continued my inspection.
 
“Jay, don’t get too excited, remember what happened in two twenty-five?” Catrix warned. I shivered as I kissed the end and was rewarded with a small bead of oily liquid that tasted like oranges. I liked oranges.
 
“I have a lot more control of myself now, it won’t happen again,” Jay responded, though he squirmed slightly as my lips closed around his other head in my quest for more of the citrusy flavor.
 
“Can I have it?” I asked, straightening as I prepared myself for the main course.
 
“Just wait, you need to know this,” Catrix ordered, causing me to tear my eyes away from my much needed prize, “You know that Jay lies, usually little things to maintain his advantage. But I’d guess that he told you that he doesn’t get aroused, that’s a lie too. It does take a lot though, and I’ve only gotten him going once.”
 
“Is there a point to this or can I have real sex now?” I asked impatiently, shifting forward to grind my clitoris against his shaft.
 
“He fucked me to death Luna. Not like the incubi where their massive barbed cocks rip my guts out, he fucked me with a dick that size until my heart exploded. I didn’t know that could happen until we were going at it and then I woke up in another room,” Catrix elaborated. The majority of my attention shifted to Jay, though I continued grinding on him.
 
“You won’t do that today,” I stated. To me, this was a simple fact. Just like the angle I discovered for maximum contact, or how closing my hind legs around him added to the sensation in wonderful new ways.
 
“I will never hurt you,” Jay promised.
 
“Good, now help me get onto this thing,” I demanded, stopping my motions and attempting to straddle his beautiful cock. I’d need to thank Catrix for the vocabulary later, it was definitely going to be put to use today.
 
“Take it slow, I’m not going anywhere,” Jay advised as he lifted my hips above the imposing object of my desire, though he denied me the gratification I hungered. He slowly lowered me with a combination of a hand and a pair of tendrils until our sexes lightly kissed. 
 
I locked eyes with Jay as I drove the last remnants of doubt from my mind and succumbed to my instincts and desires. I slammed my hips against his in an impatient attempt to quench my passion, only succeeding in pushing his member too far back and feeling it slide along the curve of my ass. I gasped as his head hit my other entrance. Although it glanced off the tighter hole, I still felt a new curiosity.
 
Jay repeated as I lifted my ass for another try, this time with the benefit of Jay holding himself steady with his right hand. I took Jay’s advice this time and slowly brought my lips to his member, relishing in the feeling of it slipping between them to fill my aching pussy. ‘Thanks again Cat.’ A blissful sigh escaped my lips as inch after inch disappeared into me, quickly becoming a gasp when Jay’s left hand reappeared and groped my teats.
 
“This...it feels right,” I commented once I was seated on his lap, fully hilted. I took a moment to get used to feeling so full, and so good. I could feel his head twitching reflexively, resting just shy of the same cervix that had been hit by the Nightstallion. He was less than an inch away from my womb, and it was driving me crazy as my instincts instructed me to breed, to be filled, first with his seed, then with his foal. Pregnancy didn’t sound so scary right now, though I knew it wasn’t possible.
 
“Are we counting this as one?” Jay asked.
 
“I am,” Catrix answered.
 
“Are you lonely, Cat? Jay’s tongue is amazing,” I offered, willing to share now that I was happily filled. I could understand Catrix a little better now, why she enjoyed being a cocksleeve so much, it was incredible.
 
“That’s a little below my standards, thanks though. I think Jay knows what I want from him,” Catrix replied slyly.
 
“I could get used to this, I haven’t even started moving and I feel amazing,” I commented, lost to the thought of having a bioform attached to my walls to pleasure me all day.
 
“Jay, she’s sharing. Hit me with your best shot,” Catrix ordered. She asked for it. Catrix hit the wall hard enough to cause visible ripples in the biomatter, though any complaints she might’ve had were silenced by the masses of probing tendrils assaulting her every entrance. Catrix’s legs soon fell free of her hips as they dislocated themselves, though they still served as useful handles to hold her off the ground with. My jaw dropped as I watched the event, wondering if I was even capable of taking that many cocks at once. Catrix’s position left nothing to the imagination, she was splayed and bent against the wall. I could’ve counted the tendrils worming in and out of her ass if they had stopped writhing long enough. I clenched around Jay’s dick as I came from the sight, though nowhere near as intensely as before.
 
“Are you ready Lu?” Jay asked. Rather than answer, I attempted to pick  myself up with my hind legs. I silently cursed my clumsy hooves as I lost my balance and started to fall, only for Jay to catch me and help me ride him. With Jay’s hands on either side of my waist and taking my weight, it was easy to lift myself until I felt the edge of his head reach my vulva. I allowed myself to release a lusty moan when gravity pulled me back down and sent my mind reeling.
 
“I love it,” I managed between moans. With each bounce, my pleasure spiked and I reached a higher volume and pitch. It wouldn’t be long until my screams of passion echoed through the entire leviathan, and that thought turned me on even more. Involuntary contractions wracked my body less than a minute later, followed by another rush of fluids. Once the muscles in my limbs stopped seizing, I collapsed and relied on my quivering slit to continue the milking that my tired body couldn’t.
 
“I counted twenty-five, how about you Cat?” Jay asked, removing the half dozen tendrils from Catrix’s throat to allow her to talk. I found myself irked at their insistence on treating this like a science project.
 
“Couldn’t really see, or care, but it sounds right,” Catrix answered breathlessly. I was somewhat impressed that she could speak, as Jay hadn’t even slowed down the tendrils flailing about in her intestines and useless womb.
 
“Please stop analyzing me,” I requested, finding that grinding my hips against Jay’s at this angle was particularly nice; especially when my clitoris brushed up against his navel, “Can we just have fun making love? Do we need to know how my endurance rates against my species’s average?” 
 
“Just curious, and I wanted you on top for the first round at least. Give you a chance to warm up before I exploit that weakness,” Jay teased as his slippery hands found my flanks and began kneading my firm plot. His massage restored feeling to my legs, but locked me in place before I could start bouncing again. Jay was at least kind enough to gently rock his hips against me, resulting in slow, short, but no less pleasing thrusts.
 
“Is the big strong warlord about to conquer another fertile land?” I asked breathily. 
 
“A good soldier waits for his queen to give the order,” Jay replied as he lengthened one of his fingers until it could caress my clit once more. I sighed briefly and one of my hooves joined his hand as he rubbed.
 
“Then I command you: to war,” I giggled. Jay slid out from under me and stood at the edge of the bed, not bothering to separate us before he moved. My mind overloaded and I laughed as I was dragged along with him by my clenched pussy. I could only smile as Jay hiked me further onto him and set my hind legs on his shoulders, wrapping his arms around my knees to hold me in place. My blissful smile widened as Jay pulled back and thrusted hard enough to push me up the bed.
 
Jay slowly pulled out of me and flopped his phallus onto my stomach before he started thrusting again, masturbating himself with my legs. At my whimper, he pulled all the way back again, lined up, and filled my aching passage at an agonizingly slow pace. He fully removed himself every time, leaving me to alternate between being painfully empty and blissfully full. The result was torture and paradise at the same time, especially the way he sped up a little more with every stroke.
 
As the speed and force ramped up, I started being pushed and pulled more and more violently. Once the discomfort passed the pleasure, I tried to find a way to hold myself still. All I could find was Jay’s neck, so I held on to him as he leaned into his thrusts. I soon felt his hands move down my legs and stop at their bases as he adjusted his grip. 
 
“Talk dirty, tell each other the sick shit in your minds,” Catrix ordered, reminding me that she was still here. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but want to comment on how Jay’s cock pushed back with just the right pressure every time I clenched around him.
 
“Oooh, yeah. A little higher, yes right there. Does my warrior like the sheath I have provided for his sword?” I moaned, tightening myself as my sore body neared another orgasm.
 
“You’re a natural. If I was anything else, I would’ve emptied himself into you by now; just from the way your pussy milks my cock. Damn woman, where did you learn this?” Jay groaned, having to fight though my powerful contractions, “Scratch that, you would’ve ripped my dick off. It’s amazing.”
 
“Mmmmmmm, more. Keep talking,” I managed as I hit the edge, so near to falling back into the ecstasy I craved.
 
“I’m going to ravish you, I’ll drive you into orgasms so hard you forget your own name. But when you get to that point, you’ll be screaming mine,” Jay promised darkly, the mental image sending me over the edge and more of my nectar onto our legs.
 
“YES YES YES! DON’T STOP! PLEASE DON’T STOP!” I screamed in time with the wet slaps of my lover’s legs against mine. My mind pictured a crowd of ponies standing outside wondering if I was being murdered suddenly hearing me and knowing exactly how good my day had gotten. Let them be jealous, this dick belonged to me.
 
Jay responded by rolling me over and pulling me up until me back was pressed against his chest, nearly setting me off again with the feeling of his wonderful cock twisting inside me. Tendrils snaked around my hips and shoulders to bear my weight comfortably while Jay’s hands found new targets, one found my teats and gently pinched my sensitive nipples while the other played with my love button. Then he started moving again, though he seemed to be searching for something. Every time he pressed into me, the head of his dick ground against a different section of my tunnel.
 
“Do you like it when I bounce you, hmm? Is it orgasmic to be so roughly pounded?” Jay whispered into my ear, making me whimper pleadingly. 
 
“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” I cried, again lost to the tides of pleasure as Jay continued to relentlessly probe my cunt for whatever it was he was looking for. 
 
“Does being helpless get you off? If you could move, would you even want to?” Jay continued. My breath caught and my wings shot out as he finally found his target. I managed two flaps before my large ebony wings fell limply to either side.
 
“MMMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmm,” I whined, my abused voice becoming higher in pitch as Jay’s ministrations sent me into another orgasm. My legs went numb and my mind swam as the most powerful wave of amazing so far washed through my brain, taking everything but my need to be bred with it. Jay looked concerned when I fell quiet, the sound of more of my precious juices spurting out around his dick and splattering onto the floor notwithstanding. Whatever the case, he continued his trend of shifting our position and laid us back down. Though we were in much the same position, with my back to his chest, he stopped moving, again denying me my relief.
 
“Luna, are you still in there?” Jay asked, sounding concerned for some reason. Couldn’t he see that I was feeling better than ever.
 
“Why’d you stop?” I complained as the fire started burning again.
 
“Okay, just checking. You seemed out of it,” Jay replied as he resumed his motions, albeit excruciatingly slowly.
 
“I was,” I admitted, feeling more of my mind returning as the most recent orgasm faded, “But it was wonderful.”
 
Catrix forcefully ripped the tendrils out of her mouth to toss in her two cents, “A mare after my own heart.”
 
“Jay, shut her up,” I ordered, appreciating our other companion a little less every time she spoke. Next time, she could stay in her own room.
 
“I might have an interesting idea of how to do that…” Jay responded slyly. Catrix and I had a second to look confused before we became much better acquainted. Namely, her mouth and my sodden crotch.
 
“I like this idea,” I purred as Catrix figured out what she was supposed to be doing and started suckling on my clit. ‘I take it all back Cat is my best friend and we’ll do everything together forever.’
 
“What about the predator and prey thing? How was that?” Jay asked. I tore myself away from the wonderful combination of cock and tongue to consider his question, though I was peeved that he kept interrupting my bliss with his questions.
 
“It...was surprising, but not unpleasant. You can keep going if you want to,” I offered, craning my neck to lick the side of his face seductively.
 
“You really took to this like a fish to water, didn’t you?” Catrix teased before my hind legs pulled her back to her task. As I turned my head back to lay back, I caught a glimpse of Jay’s eyes. What I found there mirrored my own desires, he was worked up and eager to breed. This was about to get interesting. I felt myself forced further up Jay’s chest before he began thrusting into me with greater intensity. His hips hit my well toned ass again and again as he used me, his arms wrapping around my chest to hold my shoulders and pin me to him. Lightning shot up my spine as he hit that same spot as before with every stroke he took. I was soon little more than a quivering mess as Catrix rejoined the fun and my climax peaked, though Jay didn’t stop to let me come down. I was stuck mid-orgasm for nearly a minute as my partners hit all the right spots at the same time, my mouth locked in a silent scream as I struggled to breath.
 
“I-I’m-I’m..” I managed before everything went black. Though my mind was a mess of bliss and exhaustion and my body refused to move, I could still hear and feel; leaving me to assume that my eyes had closed when I collapsed. Jay stopped the instant my muscles failed and placed a hand on my neck. I felt him sigh in relief when his fingers found my pulse.
 
“Well then, there’s round one,” Catrix commented as her mouth left my stuffed slit.
 
“We’re done for tonight, maybe we can all have a proper sexcapade next time,” Jay placated as he slipped out of me and gently set me onto the bed next to him. Though I was painfully empty, I was still close enough to feel his warmth. A moment later, I felt his tendrils swarm over me and erase the mess we’d made.
 
“Probably a good idea, keep going and her heart might explode,” Catrix agreed. 
 
“I was leaning more on the argument that it would be wrong,” Jay noted.
 
“To you lot, yeah I guess it would be. Fucking prudes. Hey would you get pissed if I picked up where the wifey left off?” Catrix asked. ‘No, but don’t finish him. He’s my stud, go find your own.’
 
“There is at least twenty pounds of biomass thrashing around in your backdoors,” Jay pointed out. I felt Catrix jump forwards, but couldn’t tell what she was doing. Forcing my eyes open, I found her nose pressed against Jay’s groin and her mouth stretched around his cock, “Right, how much more do you want?”
 
“Give me twenty minutes of this, then fill me with that mushy grass shit you call cum. I want to slosh when I walk for the next week,” Catrix purred once the phallus I loved left her mouth with a wet pop. She didn’t waste any time getting back to work on Jay’s cock, and a lance of jealousy stabbed my heart as he grunted. He hadn’t made a sound when he drove me into my waking coma.
 
Exactly twenty minutes later, Jay grabbed Catrix’s hair to get her attention, “You ready?”
 
“Oh yeah, you know I love it when you wreck me,” Catrix moaned.
 
“Noooooooooooo,” I whined, mustering all the force I could manage to push Catrix away from what I needed, “Mine.”
 
“Green isn’t your color Luna,” Catrix griped, “But this is your...late afternoon, not mine.”
 
“Yayyy,” I cheered weakly as Catrix moved aside. We could make up later, right now all I could do was find a way to be properly bred.
 
“Lu, are you alright?” Jay asked, sounding concerned again.
 
“Groggy, bareleee feel pas muh nek,” I slurred, otherwise immobile. I’d lost track of my tongue while I tried to clamber onto my male.
 
“And you want to keep going?” Jay pressed, incredulous.
 
“Duh,” I replied eloquently, the fog in my mind was starting to clear.
 
“Luna, most people stop, or at least take a break, when they can’t move anymore,” Catrix deadpanned.
 
“Fuck you, I’ll move if I wanna,” I snapped before finally managing to drag my front half onto my husband.
 
“Stop,” Jay ordered, reaching up to halt my movements, “What’s my original name?”
 
“Yer Jack,” I answered, silently thanking the thing in my head.
 
“Jack what?” Jay continued.
 
“Robak,” I replied, attempting to continue now that I had passed his test. Jay’s hand held my tired body back, forcing me to suffer further as my needs remained unmet.
 
“One more. Six twenty-seven divided by two,” Jay demanded. Math? Twenty-seven, make that twenty-six. That’s thirteen, add the half...
 
“Three hundred thirteen and one-half,” I answered, straining to be as clear as possible.
 
“Okay, I believe you’re lucid enough to make this decision. The question is: how hard are you willing to work for it?” Jay challenged, eliciting a whine out of me and a smile from Catrix. 
 
“Please,” I begged. It hurt my outside to move, it hurt my inside to hold still, I was just too exhausted and empty. 
 
“I’ll take over...IF you can get on top of me. That’s my price,” Jay stated. My weak hooves grabbed as best they could, trying desperately to pull myself up. To achieve this goal would be to finally extinguish the burning pain in my quivering walls. I remembered I had wings when some of my feathers brushed against the pillow and they too joined the effort to pull myself towards my goal. My wings, left unused during our lovemaking, were still fit and accustomed to lifting my weight, they made thankfully short work of Jay’s trial.
 
“I win,” I declared breathlessly, falling limp once more.
 
“You really want this, don’t you? I knew you’d enjoy getting fucked more than usual, but I wasn’t expecting this level of libido. Alright, I’ll be your stud,” Jay relented. I felt his dick twitch and bend, snaking its way out from where it was pinned between our bellies to press against my need. My walls clamped down on him as soon as he entered, drawing the experience out as he fought for every inch. Blissful moans escaped my lips one after another as his perfectly sized phallus filled me once more.
 
“Here, let me help,” Catrix offered, sliding her arms under my forelegs and holding me in a seated position on Jay’s hips. We were back in the position we started in, with me on top. I whimpered as I remembered having to move last time. Then Jay’s tendrils wrapped around my waist and began grinding me against him while his hands raised to please me elsewhere, though he seemed conflicted on what to target for a moment. Eventually he settled on my teats, sqeezing them with his dexterous fingers while his thumbs rubbed my nipples. Jay’s prehensile cock bent one way or the other with every grind, alternating between rubbing my clit along his body and his, suddenly ribbed, cock.
 
“More,” I begged around my numb tongue.
 
“There isn’t any more he can do, unless you want another cock in you,” Catrix advised. ‘Next time.’
 
“Yes there is,” Jay countered, his words honey even though I could barely comprehend them, “Luna, do you want to know what sex is like for me?”
 
“Yes,” I managed, though I didn’t understand the question. I tried to fall onto him, to be as close to my lover as I could, but first I had to fight off Catrix’s grip on my shoulders. 
 
As soon as I freed myself from Catrix’s grip and dropped onto my husband, he clamped both of his hands around my head and pulled me into a deep kiss. Everything broke when the connection was established, I couldn’t tell where my pleasure ended and Jay’s began. I thought the feeling of my clenching walls would tell me, but then I felt them pull away and realized I was feeling the cock inside me. 
 
There was no Jay, no Luna, only We, and I was nothing more than a passenger. I loved every microsecond of it. We felt ourself rapidly approaching another climax and eagerly awaited whatever the other was planning. Every inch of our strong cock delivered unprecedented levels of sensation as the combination of our grinding and the quaking walls of our desperate pussy assaulted our mind. As our orgasm hit, the rush of warm girlcum nearly pushed our cock out of us. The other did not allow that to happen, instead slamming back in and thrusting hard twice more before the final buck. With one last mighty thrust, our cock slipped through our tight cervix and filled our womb with our cum substitute. We came again under the combined feeling of filling our womb and being filled.
 
Then It was gone, the unity of our connection severed and left me alone to drown in an ocean of ecstasy. The fire was extinguished, leaving nothing but bliss as I slid to the side and landed on something soft. My legs curled in and my abused slit clamped shut as my body tried to protect the product of our mating, to give the seed its best chance. Mentally, I knew this was pointless, but it felt so right. My forehooves gently caressed my navel, searching for any sign of a foal. I found myself muttering along with my racing jumbled thoughts, but was too busy floating to care.
 
‘Guess what? We’re still linked,’ a voice teased, slicing through my incoherent thoughts with ease. That alone was enough to bring part of me back to the world outside of my batter stuffed oven.
 
“I think you broke her,” Catrix commented.
 
“That’s the beauty of it, she can’t break like this. I won’t let her,” Jay responded. Both of them fell silent as I resumed my involuntary jabbering.
 
“Stars. All I see are stars,” I managed a few minutes later. I’d gotten through enough of my oversexed mind to recognize the world around me, but my forehooves stubbornly refused to release my belly. I couldn’t figure out why my body kept betraying me, it didn’t even show.
 
“Give it a minute, you’ll be fine,” Jay cooed, stroking my mane as the last wisps of fog left my mind.
 
“Is that how it was the whole time?” I asked, remembering what I had said before about using him.
 
“Yes,” Jay answered, sounding honest. I vowed to never question Jay’s willingness again.
 
“How could you even speak?” I wondered.
 
“Practice and a mind that’s built on logic,” Jay explained patiently, not minding my rambling at all.
 
“We need to do this more often, I don’t know how I lived without knowing this joy,” I commented.
 
“Line’s been crossed, just keep yourself in check when shit’s going down,” Jay said, earning himself a weak hug in the form of my neck lying across his. My hooves still weren’t cooperating.
 
“So I get to do my real job now?” Catrix asked. I bit back my overly harsh initial response and thought it over, perhaps she was onto something.
 
“Sure, I’ll see what you can do when I can actually feel your actions,” I agreed, tossing her my best imitation of her typical lusty smile.
 
“What I meant was, can I kill myself taking the rest of that sweet processed plantcum?” Catrix clarified.
 
“What?” I asked, getting only a vague impression of what she was talking about.
 
“I don’t produce anything to climax with, so I figured out how to fake it with something I could get in large quantities. Grass works and it gets absorbed pretty well. I made enough to satisfy Cat, you got a tiny fraction,” Jay explained.
 
“Well, I guess I can share. Someone roll me over, I wanna watch,” I allowed. Catrix climbed onto the recently vacated pole with a sigh and a thankful smile. I saw the way she braced herself and how she moved her hips, recognizing the motions as being designed for my body shape. Catrix adjuster her position slightly and got started for real once she saw my understanding.
 
“Oh yeah, give momma what she wants,” Catrix purred, twisting and bouncing like the professional she was.
 
“Should I be taking notes?” I asked as I watched Catrix work. Her body wasn’t as big as mine and everything about the way she rode Jay’s cock seemed exaggerated. The way she’d cross her legs occasionally for some extra tightness, the way her hands moved Jay’s to wherever she wanted them whenever she wanted them there, and especially how the shape of jay’s cock was clearly visible on her stomach. When she noticed my stare, Catrix leaned back impossibly far and showed just how durable her body was as her bounces caused the cock buried in her to poke out and look more like she was trying to pass herself off as a living condom. 
 
“Sure Twilight, I think there’s a quill in the first drawer on the left,” Jay deadpanned, all but ignoring the succubus milking his cock better than I ever could.
 
“I’d love to be here for days but times are hectic, can you speed this along?” Catrix requested.
 
“Sure,” Jay replied. I looked at him in confusion, though it shifted to fear when he blinked. When Jay’s eyes reopened, they were a flat black. While this wouldn’t frighten me at this point, the way they made my face slacken and my body freeze did.
 
“Cum,” Jay ordered, sending me into painful spasms as my pussy clenched around a non existent cock and sprayed what little fluids I had left over the bed and wall. I could see Catrix in much the same state, though she at least had something to clamp down on. With as tightly as Catrix’s body fit Jay’s alicorn sized member, I could see every spurt bubbling out and painting the inside of her lithe little midsection. I noticed her starting to swell slightly as the fluids being pumped into her found no escape. My mind locked up as this mixed with the forced orgasm and sent me into convulsions.
 
“That’s what I’m talking about,” I heard Catrix sigh, having recovered instantly.
 
“Sorry Lu, I didn’t notice that I’d snared you too,” Jay apologized.
 
“Make...it...stop,” I stammered haltingly.
 
“Stop and be released from my commands,” Jay ordered, ending the painful climax. I fell back into my pre-seizure position and breathed while I took stock of myself.
 
“What the fuck was that?” I asked after a few seconds.
 
“It’s complicated, and this isn’t the time. Let me get you cleaned up and we’ll talk about it,” Jay offered placatingly. At my nod of approval, Jay ran his tendrils over me and cleaned up the mess...again.
 
“What about Cat?” I asked. The succubus in question had slid off Jay’s softening cock and fallen off the bed, though she was too blissed out to notice.
 
“She’ll be fine,” Jay replied. I shrugged tiredly and sat up to look around at where I had sprayed my passions across the floor and walls, noting the impressive distance some streaks had traveled. After a few seconds of admiring our lovemaking and basking in the musk, I felt something warm and thick sliding down the inside of my thigh. Looking down in a panic, I found a thin line of green slime leaking from my swollen lips. ‘Oh good, I’m not bleeding.’
 
“Jay, is your cum green?” I asked, scooping some of the slime onto my hoof for closer inspection.
 
“Yep. It’s just grass that’s been processed into the right consistency,” my stud replied. Taking a tentative lick, I confirmed that it definitely tasted like grass. 
 
With my final fears dismissed and our handiwork sufficiently admired and memorized, all that I could do was flop back down beside my husband and let the darkness take me.
> Chapter 21: Attempted Decompression
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Jekyll


The next morning found us back in the ruins of Ponyville, Abaddon having walked back during the previous night, and eating ‘demonic pancakes.’

Lucky had coined the term when she decided Catrix’s naked back made a decent stove, and proceeded to use her as such. The succubus herself had been attempting to sunbathe, claiming that it was relaxing despite its pointlessness. The rest of the extended sorta-family sat around a picnic style table on the deck and laughed at their bickering.

“I’d better get one of those you bitch,” Catrix snarled.

“Keep it up and all you’ll get is my skillet to the side of your head,” Lucky shot back.

“That’s not even yours! You jacked it from some schmuck down the hall,” Catrix pointed out.

“Semantics,” Lucky replied dismissively.

“Semantics my ass, you stole that pan and used it to steal my sun. Do you have any idea how rarely I get to do this?” Catrix argued.

“Hmmm, you live here. You could do this any day you wanted, but today we’re celebrating Lily’s recovery. So shut your fucking mouth and give me another ten degrees,” Lucky demanded. Both of them managed to hold their scowls for about five seconds before they erupted into laughter.

“Are they always like that?” Luna asked quietly, though she didn’t need to project her voice very far considering her head was resting on my shoulder. Luna had been leaning against me every chance she got, the opposite of smooth.

“Yyyyyeeeeeeeeppp, every...fucking...time. It’s become a running joke between them,” I replied.

“Never gets old,” Lily added through her mouthful of pancake. Though her head turned to face her mother and adopted aunt, her eye remained on Luna.

“It seems like that’s debatable,” Twilight giggled.

“I’m inclined to agree,” Tzu concurred.

“So...I have a theory,” Lily stated, changing the topic.

“Yes?” Luna inquired.

“Did you two celebrate Jay’s surgery performance a little early? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to not have a shattered brain case anymore, but I’d be happier for you if you did,” Lily continued.

“What does celebrating early have to do with anything?” Twilight asked, missing the point entirely.

“Is it that obvious?” Luna whispered loudly.

“Uh, yeah. You’ve definitely got the post celebration cling going on,” Lily confirmed.

“Don’t hurt yourself Twilight, it’s not that big of a deal,” I advised as Twilight struggled to decipher the mystery.

“But-” Twilight attempted before being cut off by Abaddon.

“They-” Abaddon managed before being cut off by me.

“ShutyourfuckingfaceAbaddon,” I ordered, “You’ll figure it out someday, probably when you’re the clingy one.”

“Oh come on Jay, it’s not something to be embarrassed about,” Catrix teased.

“I’m not, but it isn’t my place or nature to go around handing out other people’s private information,” I countered.

“Fair nuff, but it’s still not a big deal,” Catrix conceded.

“Didn’t I just say that?” I pointed out.

“You win, I admit defeat in this argument,” Catrix replied.

“So what’re we supposed to do now, is there some other crisis that we need to lay a smackdown on?” Lily asked, slamming one forehoof into the side of her other one dramatically.

“Eat breakfast, imitate a cowboy while Abaddon goes nuts on dead spiders, and fix my fucking town. In that order,” I answered.

“Won’t a certain somepony have to let go of you for at least one of those?” Lily teased.

“Am I being too forward? I can let go,” Luna offered, straightening in her chair.

“You’re fine, I’d say we’ve both earned a little rest after the week we’ve had. If you want to lean on me, then feel free,” I replied, prompting Luna to return to my shoulder and wrap a wing around my torso.

“I remember when my Silver and I would sit like that, you’d need more than some jokes to get us apart though. Maybe a crowbar would’ve done it...nah, you’d need at least three cranes,” Lucky chimed in, smiling wistfully.

“Hey mom? Who’s running the hotel?” Lily asked.

“Cheryl, she’s been taking over a lot of your old jobs lately. Been real enthusiastic about it ever since Jay called her back. Eh, must’ve missed us,” Lucky responded.

“I removed the bombs her kind left in her body and replaced them with a death threat of my own,” I corrected, making both mother and daughter look over in surprise.

“She was some kind of spy? Or assassin?” Lily guessed.

“Spy,” I confirmed.

“Wait. I’ve seen you get hit with a house, what could a bomb possibly do?” Lucky asked.

“Disperse the one thing toxic to us throughout her body,” I replied.

“That stuff you keep under guard and won’t let anyone even see? Where would they have gotten that?” Lily pressed. Twilight and Luna kept looking between them as they tried to follow what was happening. Catrix had fallen asleep.

“Abaddon, was any of the cure missing when it was moved here?” I asked, outright fearful of the implications now that the connection had been made.

“No, the amount matched your records. If I may propose an alternative, did Dopple assist you when you invented the cure?”

“No, but he had access to my notes. I wrote down the formula in case I ever got the nerve to check out,” I explained, “Fuck.”

“What!?” Luna exclaimed, turning me to hold both of my shoulders, “Are you suicidal? Please, if nothing else matters to you, please don’t leave me alone in this world again.”

“I almost was. After I scrapped the plan to kill your sister and then Fang lost his mind, I was in a limbo of sorts. I had no goals left, my plan to raise the enforcers into functioning independent beings was all but crushed, Chelly’s smear campaign had made it near impossible to make friends, and my only remaining one had recently passed. I was tired of losing everything over and over again. So yeah, I thought about it,” I explained, “But I’m not in that place anymore and I wouldn’t do that to you anyway, not to mention that your very existence is a bulwark against me being alone.”

“Sounds awfully similar to what drove me insane, I just tried to take everybody else with me,” Luna sighed.

“Tell you what, how about we stop beating ourselves...and each other up about the past and just move forward. Two immortals keeping each other from going crazy, sounds like a good drama to me,” I proposed, already knowing Luna’s answer.

“Deal. We’ll be stuck together for eternity, but we’ll face it together,” Luna declared.

“Is it just me or was that the cheesiest line of all time?” Lily teased, ruining Luna’s pleased expression.

“Thank goodness you never heard the shit that your father and I said, we were almost as bad. Honestly, I’d pick on Jay’s little excuse for being a coward more than Luna here,” Lucky added, throwing me a harsh glare for a second before letting up.

“I thought it sounded roman-wait, that was innuendo earlier...Ohmygosh, you two-” Twilight began, freezing before she could voice her accusation.

“What’s the matter? We’re a married couple and we’re allowed to make our own decisions, everypony at this table, and sleeping near it, will tell you that it’s completely natural,” Luna countered. I took a glance around to make sure we were alone, I’d rather not deal with Celestia’s wrath right now.

“And fun as hell,” Lucky added.

“Thank you Lucky, though I’d encourage Twilight to find herself a proper spouse rather than chase stallions for fun,” Luna admonished lightly.

“Prude,” Catrix accused, though she remained face down on the deck.

“Oh good, you’re awake. Your pancake is getting cold,” Lucky advised.

“Blasphemy, I refuse to eat cold pancakes!” Catrix cried as she shot to her feet and slid into the nearest seat, right where Lucky was about to sit.

“Bitch,” Lucky complained before walking around the table to sit in the only other open seat.

“This has to mean something though. Is Equestria going to have a new prince or princess?” Twilight finally managed to ask.

“It’s a little soon to assume that I’m pregnant...Are you calling me FAT?” Luna cried, looking between her panicking student and her almost non existent belly frantically.

“NO no no no, that’s not what I meant. I’m so sorry you’re not fat I just thought-” Twilight rambled before she was cut off by Luna’s laughter.

“I’m only teasing Twilight. But no, all this means is that I have a new method for relieving stress and exercising at the same time. Admittedly, it is more fun than fighting Mike type enforcers,” Luna replied, not even attempting to hide her smile.

“Really? Is that all? ‘Cause you seemed awfully possessive for someone looking for a little stress relief,” Catrix pressed.

“Says the third wheel,” Luna countered.

“Oooooooh shit, shots fired,” Lily laughed.

“Third wheel? So you didn’t need my help to make a move?” Catrix mocked though her mouthful of pancake. Luna sputtered as she tried to think of a comeback.

“One: damn that’s harsh. Two: I didn’t make all these damn cakes for y’all to stare at them, fucking eat or I’ll feed you,” Lucky threatened. Twilight and Luna followed Lily’s lead in shoving as much pancake into their mouths as possible, correctly assuming that Lily knew what that meant. I had been eating my own stack while I watched the show.

“Hey Jay, you wouldn’t happen to have any manticore sausage would you?” Catrix requested.

“As if I’d go without, best breakfast food since bacon,” I replied with a wave at Abaddon’s secondary.

“Thanks,” Catrix said gratefully as she accepted the ground meat and grilled it with her hand.

“Someday I’ll find a creature that tastes good when sliced and fried,” I lamented.

“Eww, that doesn’t sound good at all,” Twilight argued.

“Not to you, but we predators love our crispy, salty, tasty meat,” I replied, having to force myself to not salivate.

“Ummm,” Twilight managed, blushing slightly.

“I feel like you’re making fun of me,” Luna commented.

“I really miss good bacon, nothing here tastes right,” I complained.

“What was it where you come from?” Luna asked.

“Pig,” I replied.

“Fat or greedy?” Twilight confirmed.

“Coincidence here, based on the animal there,” I groused.

“Let’s...just find something else to talk about,” Luna offered, “Like what are we supposed to do after we get Ponyville repaired?”

“Could always swing by Canterlot to check on the army, see how their training is going,” I proposed.

“They alternate between classes on unit tactics and peer to peer sparring,” Twilight replied, causing everyone to look at her, “What? Shiny tells me things. He used to write to me about the new stuff he had learned, but it’s all just ranting about work these days. Well, I guess even the captain of the guard needs someone to talk to, even if it’s his little sister bes-”

“You BITCH! I’LL KILL YOU! ” Lucky screeched, making it halfway across the table before I caught her. Lily however, had been sitting next to Twilight and had to be pulled off of the stunned unicorn by Luna’s telekinesis.

“Both of you chill the fuck out,” I ordered, “I’ve known for days. My feud with Shining Armor doesn’t extend to his family anymore, his mother put that to an end.”

“Mine does,” Lucky seethed.

“I’m out, I won’t share oxygen with Armor’s ilk,” Lily declared as she teleported just out of Luna’s telekinetic field and walked away.

“What did I do?” Twilight asked shakily, returning to her hooves. Now that we could see her face, it was clear that she’d have a pair of black eyes and triple that in other bruises later.

“You were spawned by the same damnable ponies as that bastard you call a brother,” Lucky spat.

“Lucky, cool it. Shining has been hunting me since he got promoted. He’s gotten more...zealous as time has gone by.”

“He turned my Mary into a fucking fugitive! She’s never done anything wrong in her life and he locked her in a dungeon, she’d still be there if Jay hadn’t broken her out,” Lucky continued.

“But-” Twilight attempted.

“Chelly had a section set aside for anyone who might know where I am. No courts, no rights, no dignity. I collapsed the place when I got Mary out and beat the tar out of Chelly for ever trying it, let her know I wouldn’t tolerate another violation of our deal,” I explained, cutting off her obvious question.

“Shiny really did that?” Twilight confirmed, tears welling in her eyes.

“Celestia has a way of getting in people’s heads and twisting them to fit what she wants. I’m pretty sure the biggest reason she hates me is because I won’t play along. I don’t really hate your brother, and I certainly won’t condone violence against you or your parents, but I also won’t protect him,” I responded grimly, “That said, I think Vee and you would be fast friends Lucky.”

“You want me in the same room as the one who birthed my nemesis?” Lucky deadpanned.

“Seriously? Shining could be called Mary’s nemesis, but yours too?” I critiqued.

“What if I ended this, would you all get along then?” Luna proposed.

“If Mary can come home and Armor never bothers us again, I’d consider it,” Lucky allowed after a moment to think.

“Abby, I’m going to need a quill, parchment, ink, and a royal guard. A pegasus if possible. Lucky, what is Mary’s full name?” Luna began, already taking the offered Items and preparing to write.

“Marijuana Bud,” Lily replied, causing Luna to pause.

“What?”

“It’s a plant, just like the rest of them, but marijuana is a drug when smoked. It also doesn’t exist on this world, I’ve looked,” I explained.

“I’d heard it somewhere before,” Lucky said defensively.

“I’ll need it spelled,” Luna responded as she returned her attention to the quill before her and began to write. For our benefit, she spoke as she wrote.




Dear Captain Armor,

It has come to my attention that you have been hunting one ‘Marijuana Bud,’ or Mary as she is more commonly known. I have also been informed that this is because she may know Jekyll’s location. While I understand that you are simply complying with my sister’s orders as best you can, this is unacceptable.

Getting Lucky and her family are my personal friends, I will not have them targeted by Celestia’s vendetta. You are to consider this letter her royal pardon and your official orders to never harass them again. You may contact me directly if you have any questions or doubts about the validity of this document.

P.S. If you really need to know where Jekyll is at any given time, he’s typically three feet to my right.


Signed,


Princess Luna, Diarch of Equestria, Ruler of the Night, concerned friend







“Now to add my seal and charge the paper, just so he knows for sure who it’s coming from,” Luna declared.

“I’m on your left though,” I pointed out.

“I said typically,” Luna countered.

“You think a letter will fix this?” Lucky asked skeptically.

“I hope it does, Shiny is a good pony. I just can’t understand why he would do that,” Twilight commented.

“Speaking of your brother and his hostility towards me and mine, how is he okay with you being on the same continent as me?” I asked.

“That bit may have slipped my mind when I was writing my letters,” Twilight confessed.

“Ha!” I exclaimed, “Now that’s funny.”

“Where did you say you were?” Luna asked.

“Most of us are claiming to be at a refugee camp south of here,” Twilight responded meekly.

“You shouldn’t lie, much less to your family. Tia and I may not get along all the time, and we may not see each other often anymore, but I have never lied to her. If she teleported here right now and asked me if Jay and I were married, I would tell her,” Luna advised.

Twilight sighed and refused to meet her gaze for a moment, “It won’t go well.”

“That’s Captain Armor’s problem...and maybe Jay’s,” Luna began.

“What’s he going to do, march your army down here to annoy Abaddon?” I dismissed.

“But it’s important to avoid pushing-” Luna continued before Lucky cut her off.

“Are you lot going to help my daughter or do I need to go get Pepper’s spatula?” Lucky all but shouted.

“We’ll finish this conversation later then. Twilight, do you know where Captain Armor would be around this time?” Luna asked, the glint of an idea forming in her eyes.

“No,” Twilight replied.

“That...is annoying. But nevertheless, I’d like you to accompany guardspony-oh dear. Bluff, I’m so sorry about Green,” Luna stammered, her previous thought erased as she faced the pegasus.

“Thanks,” Bluff replied dully.

“Do you have any family in Canterlot?” I asked, well accustomed to mourning soldiers.

“No, it was always Doll, me, and…” Bluff trailed off.

“Maybe you should be with your brother then, take as much time as you need,” I advised, patting him on the shoulder supportively as he wandered back towards the door. The blood and hair samples were purely an opportunistic bonus.

“Abby, is there another pegasus guard on board?” Luna asked quietly.

“No ma’am,” Abaddon replied.

“I’ll do it, been a hot minute since I got to play the stealthy type,” I stated.

“Wouldn’t you still be discovered when you gave Shiny the letter?” Twilight asked.

“You don’t seem to understand…” I began, reaching up and pulling the left side of my torso off. I shifted into an exact copy of Bluff as I finished my sentence, “...my definition of stealthy.”

“Sorry, I forgot how...crazy that stuff got,” Twilight apologized.

“Hold onto this for me Abaddon. Better yet, have a squad of Gammas keep it nearby in case shit goes sour,” I ordered, passing my discarded biomass to one of Abaddon’s tendrils. I gave my ‘new’ wings a couple test flaps and found them adequate. ‘Still fucking itchy though.’

“This will do. Twilight, why don’t you teleport the both of you into the guard barracks. From there you shouldn’t have any trouble finding Captain Armor,” Luna said as she passed me her letter. It quickly found a home under my left wing, where it was further secured by a pair of tendrils.

“Um, I can’t make that teleport. I just don’t have all the information, like the exact distance or our current elevation,” Twilight responded, sounding embarrassed.

“Another trick forgotten by time, I suppose this is a good time for another lesson. You may often find that the best techniques are also the simplest. Such as a teleport chain, where the caster repeatedly teleports as far as they can see,” Luna instructed.

“Negating the need for distance calculations,” Twilight deduced.

“Exactly. It isn’t uncommon for skilled mages to teleport mid-air multiple times in order to scale obstacles. I might suggest doing just that, teleport above the city, get your bearings, and then teleport to your destination. However, you must orient yourself quickly or else face gravity’s wrath,” Luna continued.

“Because of the momentum conservation. This just got scarier,” Twilight commented.

“Take heart my student, Jay won’t allow you to come to harm. And even if you did, an excellent surgeon would already be right there,” Luna joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I guess...Okay, I’m ready,” Twilight declared as her horn lit. I quickly wrapped a foreleg around her neck before she could leave me behind. One flash later and we were in the air.


Perspective Change: Luna


“Bitch still ruined breakfast,” Lucky griped.

“Oh shut it you old bag,” Catrix shot back, having ignored the rest of us while she ate.

“You-you’re older than me!” Lucky stammered.

“Wine and milk, my friend, wine and milk,” Catrix replied sagely.

I could only laugh.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Okay, see if you can put weight on it now,” I instructed as I finished stitching Twilight’s navicular bone back together. Twilight gingerly set her hoof on the ground and nodded.

“It feels better,” she confirmed.

“Now to clean up your face,” I continued, wiping away Twilight’s tears.

“How did you repair my leg so quickly? I didn’t sense any magic,” Twilight wondered aloud.

“Broken bones and torn flesh are the same thing on the cellular level, and equally easy to sew back together. All I really do is mimic the body’s natural healing at a faster pace,” I explained, “Are you ready to start looking?”

Twilight nodded again and led the both of us out of the alley she had teleported into. As we neared the main building of the barracks, I found I was getting a fair number of disdainful looks. While I knew that it was probably because of my silver armor and shaggier fur, it still set me on edge. A fight would not be helpful.

“Bluff, is that you? What in Celestia’s name have they done to you?” an earth pony guard asked as we approached.

“Some armor enchantments and even more lost sleep,” I joked, making a few assumptions about the rapid change in the guards’ appearance.

“That’s rough, you looking for the captain?” the guard asked.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” I replied.

“You’ve got a letter with his name on it and his sister to hide behind,” the unknown guard answered, “Half the colts are already looking for places to hide, the other half haven’t heard yet.”

“It’s not that-yes it is, it is that bad. Shoot. Please tell me he’s not in his office, that latch catches me every time,” I begged, earning a laugh out of the stallion.

“Worse, he’s in the yard. Nowhere to hide, half a mile to escape,” the guard laughed.

“Gotta face the music eventually, right? Thanks dude,” I bid as I started leading Twilight away.

“Dude? When did you start saying ‘dude’ Bluff?” the guard asked in confusion, hurrying to catch up.

“Would you believe me if I told you Princess Luna talks like that? Everypony’s ‘dude’ around there,” I lied, hoping he would take the bait and back off.

“No, I wouldn’t believe you. And I’m starting to doubt that you’re actually Bluff, you could be one of those monsters,” the guard said suspiciously.

“Dude, I’ve been awake for three bucking days and Green got bucking murdered yesterday. I’m bucking sorry if I’m acting a little bucking weird,” I snapped, rounding on the stallion angrily. Hopefully the grief card would be enough to make this guy go away.

“Ponyfeathers, I’m sorry. They’ve still got you working?”

“Only bucking pegasus guard, but I’ll get some time off as soon as I get this done,” I responded, adding some impatience to my voice.

“Alright, alright, I’ll let you go. But for the sake of argument, what’s my name?” the guard asked.

“Whelp, I tried. Your name is Lunc-” I began, preparing to consume the guard. If he was allowed to live, I would be discovered, Luna’s letter would be thrown out, and Twilight’s credibility would be destroyed.

“Flash Sentry,” Twilight interrupted, “Bluff isn’t doing nearly as well as he lets on, he actually forgot my name earlier. Say, why don’t you walk with us? Bluff is mostly just escorting me, so he can take the easy job of following us while we talk.”

“Um-I-uh-okay,” Flash stammered, moving past me to walk next to Twilight. He just stared at her as she talked about her new friends and the times they’d had, sending my inner Catrix into fits of hysteria.

“...and that’s when AJ apologized for being so stubborn and inspired me to write my first friendship report for Princess Luna,” Twilight concluded as we reached the yard. I could see Shining from here, the way his foreleg would raise to hover next to his head when he disciplined a recruit was unmistakable.

“That does sound like fun,” Flash commented, actually speaking.

“It is, and since Princess Luna lives in Ponyville right now and doesn’t have court or nobles to deal with, she’s always around to teach me all kinds of new things. Well, I guess they’d be old things. But they’re not well known, like today she taught me how to make long distance blind teleports safely,” Twilight continued. Either these two were old friends, or she had a crush on this guard. Flash definitely had a thing for Twilight.

“Hey Flash, Luna’s night guard is short staffed. She’s mainly looking for unicorns and pegasi since we already have a bunch of earth ponies,” I offered, getting a grateful look from my ‘friend.’

“Voluntary transfer? Who’s the captain?” Flash asked before Twilight had a chance to start up again.

“Yep, all of us are volunteers. However, Jekyll is the captain for now. Yeah, that Jekyll. He’s not actually that bad of a boss, hasn’t eaten anypony, one and three work schedule, prefers his things for the princess’s protection. Pay’s the same as any other volunteer job, reg plus twenty,” I replied, getting my figures from the last time I had poked through Abaddon’s memories.

“Cake gig like that, it’d take that monster’s rep to keep ponies away. If Princess Luna found a pony cap, I’d be all over it. But facing that thing everyday? I don’t know Bluff,” Flash said indecisively. Twilight seemed to take this as her cue to make a recruitment attempt.

“He’s not as bad as Princess Celestia makes him out to be, he saved my life during the fight with Nightmare Moon,” Twilight added, “Besides, Ponyville is wonderful. Everypony is nice and neighborly, and the town is beautiful. At least it was.”

“Both of you think it would be a good post? I guess I’ll ask about the tour lengths, see if they aren’t too long,” Flash reluctantly agreed.

“Flash, dude, haven’t you been listening? This posting is voluntary, there are no tour lengths. When you want to return to civilization, you let the captain know and take off,” I pointed out, making a note to adjust how the rest of the guard was organized so I wasn’t lying.

“Alright, you’ve convinced me. I’ll let Captain Armor know I want a transfer,” Flash agreed more confidently.

“You owe me,” I whispered in Twilight’s ear.

We continued making small talk as we walked the rest of the way towards where Shining Armor stood, though he was so engrossed in reaming the recruits that he didn’t notice our approach until we were almost on top of him.

“This had better be-Twily? What happened to your face? If one of these-” Shining attempted, his concerned tone becoming an angry growl.

“No! One of my new neighbors just learned that we’re related,” Twilight began.

“And?” Shining prompted.

“She’s one of Marijuana Bud’s sisters,” Twilight finished.

“I’ll see her in irons by the end of the day,” Shining promised angrily.

“Sir, you should read this. It’s from Princess Luna,” I interjected, offering the letter I carried with one of my wings.

“Personal correspondence from the mysterious Princess Luna? It can wait until my little sister gets some medical attention and I find the one who did this,” Shining dismissed.

“No sir, it’s related to the family in question,” I insisted.

“Fine,” Shining snapped, taking the letter in his telekinesis and unfolding it. His mood soured more and more with every line he read, “I want to believe this is fake, I want to ignore the signature and seal and magical energy, but it’s all there.”

“Shiny, I heard their version of what happened. I need to hear yours,” Twilight pleaded.

“Being captain of the royal guard has two main priorities: ensure the guard is ready for any threat to her majesty and bring Jekyll to justice by any means necessary. I knew Mary knew where he was hiding, what alias he was using, everything. Procedure is to bring the subject in for an interview and hold until we get the required information, but my involvement ended at the capture. I don’t know what they did down there, and I never will. That monster tore everypony in that dungeon apart when he came for her, I still see the walls when I try to sleep,” Shining explained, shivering at the memory, “And now, now Princess Luna is ordering me off my only lead.”

‘What the hell? I didn’t kill anyone when I busted Mary out. Beat them unconscious sure, but I didn’t kill them,’ I thought, “Do you need one? He’s not hiding anymore.”

“No, I don’t need Mary anymore. But she’s still an escaped prisoner, and I’m still the captain of the royal guard,” Shining argued.

“Shiny, do you remember when you were studying for your entrance exams? The way I’d quiz you? What’s the statute involving apprehension of suspected criminals?” Twilight asked.

“Twily I-” Shining attempted.

“No, I may not be a lawyer or guardspony, but I remember you telling me that even the princesses are bound by the law. I remember when you cared about the specific wording of those statutes, even if it was because you wanted the best possible score. That order was illegal Shiny, but more importantly it was wrong,” Twilight admonished, making her brother flinch.

“Okay, I’ll pass the pardon along to the records ponies. Twily, I…” Shining trailed off.

“You’re sorry? Good, so am I. Shiny, I lied to you. There isn’t any refugee camp, Jekyll offered everypony in the town free housing until he could get the damage repaired. I’ve been living in that giant creature, its name is Abaddon,” Twilight confessed.

“YOU WHAT? Celestia’s mane Twilight, you could’ve died. What if he found out about our relation? Can you possibly imagine what mom would say?” Shining raved.

“About that. Shiny, he does know you’re my brother. Also apparently he’s friends with mom, so I’d guess that she’d send me back with food,” Twilight responded. Shining sat down dizzily.

“This is too much. I-I think I should ask mom myself,” Shining stated after a moment.

“I’ll go with you, apparently I owe her an extra hug for saving us from Jekyll,” Twilight added.

“Sir, if I could have a moment? I’d like to request a transfer to Princess Luna’s personal guard,” Flash added before the siblings had a chance to walk away.

“Sure, tell whoever and go,” Shining replied absently as Twilight led him away.

“Well my job’s done, see you on the giant monster,” I bid as I tried to walk away, soon discovering I had a pegasus on my tail, “What’s up?”

“Hey Bluff, I was wondering...could you put in a good word with Captain Jekyll? Maybe it’ll keep me from peeling potatoes, or being the potatoes,” Flash requested.

“I think he’d take it better if you were there,” I ‘mused.’

“He’s the type that likes to size up his troops? Just like Sergeant Custard, you remember that old stallion? Oh wow, I’m about as nervous as a goat in dragon county,” Flash rambled.

“Dude, calm down. Go take care of your transfer and I’ll fly down with you,” I offered.

“You sure you’re not going to fall out of the sky?” Flash asked, seeming grateful for the distraction.

“Yes, but I do have a backup plan. Kinda. Miss Sparkle and I didn’t come alone, the others are waiting for me just outside the city. The captain didn’t want them in the streets after the ruckus they caused the last couple times,” I explained.

“You’re sure it’s safe?” Flash confirmed.

“Okay Flash, this is getting old. Twilight lost her fear of Jekyll and his kind in about an hour, do you really want her to see you rattling your armor every bucking day,” I challenged.

“I don’t-” Flash attempted.

“Stow it, I’m not blind. I’ve seen the way you look at her...and I’ve heard the way she rambles at you like a schoolfilly. I’d wager a year’s pay that you have a real shot with her, but not if you’re too scared to follow where she walks calmly. It’s time to stallion up or shut up, which is it gonna be?” I asserted.

Flash took a moment to steel himself before replying, “You’re right, let’s go. My sergeant already gave me the okay and I can get my stuff later, I should get there before I panic again.”

“You already found your sergeant? That was quick,” I commented as I got in position to take off..

“She wasn’t too far from Captain Armor, heard the whole thing. Almost seems like fate wants me on that thing,” Flash responded wistfully, the promise of being near his crush briefly overpowering his fear.

“Or the captain wanted every sergeant worth their rank there to deal with the new recruits,” I countered as I heaved my weakened self into the air.

“I think you need to hit the gym Bluff, looking a little shaky there,” Flash teased as we gained altitude and headed towards the edge of the city.

“Just hungry and tired, this’ll be a lot easier when we meet up with those Gammas,” I griped, missing my biomass more and more.

“Are those black things on the wall the ‘Gammas’ you’re talking about?” Flash asked.

“Yeah, that’s them. I’m get them to escort us back when we get closer, not even a fully grown dragon would mess with six of them,” I informed my wingstallion. Flash froze for a second but remained quiet until we reached my waiting guards.

“Sir, would you like one of us to wait for Mistress Twilight?” the squad leader asked.

“No, that’s just begging for contamination. Fall into formation around us and we’ll go back to Abaddon, I’m assuming the captain will just send another squad to watch over her,” I replied, cluing the Gamma into my ruse and subtly giving him orders to pass along.

“Wow Bluff, you must be one bad buck for these things to call you ‘sir,’” Flash commented.

“We refer to every male as ‘sir,’ it is simple politeness,” the Gamma responded as he moved into position with the rest of his squad.

The flight back was uneventful, save for the time I spent telling Flash some basic information about Abaddon and how to access the various amenities he had available.

“...But the biggest thing is to talk to the walls. I know it sounds crazy, but it works every time,” I concluded as we came in for a landing.

“I’m still alive, that’s enough for me right now,” Flash replied before noticing the midnight blue mare walking towards us and dropping into a bow.

“Rise, I don’t care for formalities. I trust Captain Armor received my letter well enough?” Luna asked with sarcastic formality.

“He did once Twilight reamed his ass for ignoring Equestrian law,” I replied, getting an odd look from Flash.

“Excellent, and you made a friend to boot,” Luna noted.

“Actually, it was your protege that found this one. Seemed like an old crush to me,” I corrected. Flash’s head tilted as his confusion grew.

“Oooh, this is good. From what I’ve heard, there were precious few things in this world that could’ve gotten her head out of those books before she moved down here. It’s nice to meet one of them,” Luna commented with a smile, “Well, come on then. What’s your story?”

Flash dumbly stepped forward at Luna’s offer and mumbled incoherently.

“Fear not, the novelty of my attitude will fade quickly. Just talk to me like I’m the earth pony that lives next door,” Luna advised.

“I don’t know what to say, nopony’s ever asked about me like this before,” Flash confessed.

“Hmm, how about you start with why you think Jay would want you here? I don’t believe he’s in the habit of personally escorting royal guards,” Luna prompted with a mischievous smile.

“Jay? I don’t know any Jay, Bluff here led-” Flash  began, abruptly halting when he saw my new appearance. I had swapped out Bluff’s violet eyes for my normal red and his matching mane for my usual tendril dreadlocks, but it was probably the fang filled smile that was breaking his psyche the most.

“Buahahaha, it was meeee the whole time,” I declared in a purposefully bad impression of a campy supervillain, “Seriously though, nice teamwork. I’ve been biting my tongue since we left Canterlot.”

“I’m glad you had fun, meanwhile I’ve been laughing at the back and forth between Cat and Lucky. At least until Cat hit a nerve and Lucky punched three of her teeth out, they went their separate ways after that,” Luna replied.

“I thought you were him, but you’re you!” Flash exclaimed with the elegance of a king.

“I brought Captain Pronoun back because Twi seems to like him and I think he’s funny. He’s sharp too, nearly called me out before Twilight stepped up and distracted him,” I explained.

“Bwuh?” Flash managed.

“Abaddon, get Cat; I think I broke him,” I ordered, “Dressed, preferably.”

“Come now, he’s just scared and confused. we did spring a lot on him at once,” Luna reasoned.

“Yeah, probably. I’m still testing him though, I want to see how he reacts to Cat,” I responded.

Flash shook the cobwebs out of his mind when I mentioned testing and spun his head to face me, fear clear in his eyes, “Oh.”

“Don’t panic yet, you’re doing fine,” I reassured the pegasus, “Pretty easy to pass, just don’t run away or pass out.”

“It’s beneficial to be open minded around here,” Luna advised.

“Open minded? A creature I’ve been taught to hate my entire life is wearing my friend’s skin like a jacket, how much worse could it get?” Flash laughed, his joking attitude failing to hide his fear.

“Bluff’s mourning downstairs, I just copied his appearance,” I corrected as I returned to my normal shape and beckoned for the Gamma to give me my biomass back. Flash deflated in relief when Luna nodded in confirmation.

“That’s good, I was worried I’d be next. So what could be scary enough to send me running?” Flash asked.

“A demon might,” a scratchy voice growled from the shade of the doorway, Catrix stood just close enough for her silhouette to appear distorted and threatening. The glowing eyes was a nice touch as well.

Rather than react fearfully like he had been, Flash shifted into a combat stance and grit his teeth, “Come on then demon, I’ll give you a lesson in why you don’t mess with the guard!”

“Really? I’ve seen skamps more threatening than you…” Catrix growled before dropping her act and stepping into the light, “...or maybe you meant a different kind of lesson?”

“At least she’s not naked this time,” Luna commented as she pressed a hoof to her face.

“There is that,” I agreed, “Gotta wonder why though.”

“Abby told me Twilight likes this one, so I’m not really trying to bed him,” Catrix replied as she sauntered past the stunned pegasus and ran her finger along his wing.

“What the buck is going on?” Flash finally asked.

“Two things: One, we’re messing with you because the last two weeks have been a living Tartarus and we need to laugh or we’re going to cry. Two, the last set of guards to volunteer ended up on lockdown because they were openly hostile to everything that wasn’t a pony. Nopony likes being locked up for attacking their captain, so Jay and Cat are ensuring that you’re easy going enough to make it here,” Luna explained.

“Nice read, you’re picking up on this quick,” I complimented.

“Not too difficult once I figured out your teaching style,” Luna replied gratefully.

“But...why? I’m sorry, I just don’t understand why ponies would willingly be around you and demons at the same time. No offense of course please don’t eat me,” Flash asked.

“Take a look out there, the ruins of the town, the piles of bodies, but not one splash of color. Everything is brown and gray and black, broken timbers, cracked stone, and dead spiders. They trust us because we’ve never given them a reason not to, but we’ve been piling up another reason to trust us with every spider tossed onto the mounds. The townsponies expect the guard to protect them, we are the guard around here, and we held the line,” I explained, leading Flash to the edge of the deck as I spoke.

“You were in the middle of this? All of you?” Flash pressed, really seeing the damage for the first time.

“We were. It was a hard fight, and we took heavy losses, but we prevailed and not one townspony was injured,” Luna began proudly.

“Not too shabby for being outnumbered a million to one and throwing rookie troops into the grinder,” I continued.

“I died twice but gave better than I got and my kind were the ones to finish them off,” Catrix concluded.

“You worked together like the original three tribes? That’s something I can wrap my head around, thank you. I think I understand better now, this post is as much about accepting demons and whatever Captain Jekyll is like I would an earth pony or unicorn as much as it’s about protecting you Princess,” Flash reasoned wisely.

“It’s just Jay dude, and add loosening up to your list; we’re less serious here,” I amended.

“Ooookaay, though I still have one question,” Flash began.

“The pool is two floors down, Abaddon can lead you the rest of the way,” I answered, guessing at what his question could be.

“Why am I here?” Flash asked.

“Some might say that that’s one of life’s great mysteries. Why are we here? Is it some cosmic coincidence or is there really-” I attempted before Flash ruined my joke.

“No, I meant: why is there a guard detachment at all? You go hoof to hoof with Princess Celestia all the time, what could you need us for?” Flash clarified.

“Jay might tell you that you’re part of a token force to keep me from tarnishing my reputation by surrounding myself with monsters, but I think it’s part of one of his lessons. He wants me to learn how to lead ponies on a large scale by starting with a smaller sample, namely: you,” Luna explained.

“I’m going to sit you in a classroom until you forget how to read me,” I threatened jokingly.

“I had a hunch when you brought...Green and his friends on board, your non-reaction to housing Ponyville just solidified it,” Luna bragged, hesitating when her thoughts turned to the dead guard.

“That’s why you want us to speak freely,” Flash deduced, “I guess that’s okay. At least it means I won’t get eaten...it does right? He’s not going to eat me, is he?”

“Jay, don’t eat the new guard,” Luna ordered.

“Wasn’t planning on it, except for that time I was but Twilight saved you,” I confessed.

“What?” Flash asked, his eyes widening as his head snapped around to focus on me.

“Nothing worth worrying about,” I lied.

“I don’t believe you,” Flash deadpanned.

“Look, why don’t you head on inside and Abaddon will get your quarters set up. I bet if you asked nicely he’d give you a tour, show you the indoor pool and whatnot,” I suggested, gesturing towards the door.

“You keep talking about this Abaddon like he’s here,” Flash noted.

“I am, you’re standing on me,” Abaddon replied, forming a secondary next to Flash.

“For the record, this is scarier than your demon,” Flash stated as he started shivering.

“I have been called ‘a big softy’ by Mistress Luna, there is little to fear from me so long as you do not attempt to harm any of the other ponies. I also suggest looking to their example, they feel no fear in my presence even though they have seen me fight,” Abaddon assuaged as he led Flash away, his attempt at a distraction only prolonging the pegasus’s suffering.

“Jay now that we’re alone-” Luna began.

“Hey-yo!” Catrix called, having retired to try sunbathing again.

“Whatever you were there,” Luna shot back, “Anyway, I was wondering about that thing you did last night.”

“Late afternoon,” Catrix corrected, though we ignored her.

“A couple weeks ago you asked about what magic I could use, that’s the mind control I mentioned. Incubus magic. I knew Carl wasn’t controlling you because it always has external manifestations, the black eyes being the most noticeable and important. It’s not a controlled event like most of the lore you’ll find tells you, more of a net. Anything that looks at those eyes is snared and loses control of their body, they become helpless and are forced to watch their body move however it is directed,” I explained.

“Anything? Odd choice of word,” Luna asked.

“I got bored and made an ant engrave my wall,” I replied.

“That must’ve taken a while,” Luna commented, nodding slightly.

“It took a few hundred to complete it, they kept dying of old age. Anyway, it’s not hypnosis, like some other lore books will tell you, there aren’t limits to what it can do. If you were ordered to tear your heart out and eat it, you would keep trying until you died. Though it would be easier to tell the victim not to move their legs and walk around them, let the compulsion to maintain eye contact break their neck,” I continued.

“You originally described your abilities as ‘diabolical shit,’ I understand why now. This was meant for evil, wicked deeds. Please don’t use that on me again,” Luna requested.

“I didn’t mean to the first time, I’m sorry about that. I agree that it’s evil, thus why I almost never use it,” I apologized.

“‘Cept when I get him to,” Catrix bragged.

“And even then, it isn’t for long and in a controlled environment,” I added, tossing a glare her way.

“I’d question why Cat thinks that’s worth wanting or bragging about, but I’ve given up on understanding her,” Luna sighed.

“Give it a couple hundred years, she’ll be an open book,” I laughed.


Two Hundred Equis Years Later


“To better days,” I toasted before taking a measured sip from what might very well have been the last whiskey bottle on Equis, “I wish I had someone to talk to, just...anyone. Maybe Tzu will find someone else out there that isn’t crazy or Abby’ll come back from wherever he fucked off to, or maybe I’ll stop talking to myself. Probably none of the above.”

I took another sip from my bottle and debated whether I’d die from a swandive into a volcano or just end up trapped. I didn’t even know if there were any volcanos left, or where they could be.


Present Day


“Somehow I doubt that,” Luna replied, unable to keep herself from cracking a smile.

“Nah, I’m not that complicated. Path of least resistance, avoid pain, all that nonsense,” Catrix rebutted.

“Yes, I can see how cramming an entire Rainbow Dash between your legs is the painless path of least resistance,” I replied sarcastically.

“Didn’t you say you needed two surgeries to undo everything?” Luna added.

“You can both go to Tartarus,” Catrix scoffed.

“Sure, I can check on my new armor while we’re there,” Luna replied happily.

“You placed that order yesterday, give Danny a little time,” I argued lightly.

“Danny?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It was that or Eggman, demon names are too fucking hard to say,” I explained.

“So you just give them nicknames and call it done?” Luna pressed.

“Harry’s real name is Hargesdargefex, good fucking luck,” I rebutted.

“I understand now and admit defeat,” Luna conceded, bowing formally.

“We used to just call him ‘H,’” Catrix added with a laugh of her own now that she wasn’t the target of our jokes.

“Eh, ‘H’ brings back memories of a shitty actor who got paid way too much to wear sunglasses at night,” I complained.

“That gets me thinking, we should add a stage or theatre. Maybe the townsponies could put on a play, it’d be fun,” Luna suggested.

“It does sound entertaining,” Abaddon agreed.

“Sure, get the Bravos on it. Let’s add a game room while we’re at it, some pool tables, dart boards, all the bells and whistles. If nothing else, it’d be a good place for your guards to unwind,” I replied.

“Should I mimic your games or would you like me to contact Tzu about buying them?” Abaddon asked.

“Get Tzu to buy them and arrange their transportation, he’ll have as many enforcers as he deems appropriate,” I answered, “There’s an authenticity to a good old fashioned pool table that can’t be replicated with bone and muscle.”

“Twilight would love a library, you already have the books for it,” Luna suggested.

“Abaddon, how much space do we have left, excluding what we’ll need for the theatre and game room?” I asked.

“Eighty thousand cubic feet, this is also excluding the space currently devoted to housing the townsponies,” Abaddon answered.

“Wow, that expansion is really paying off,” I commented.

“That was the point,” Abaddon replied.

“True enough, make it so. Go around and ask the townsponies and guards what they want as well, maybe they’ll think of something cool,” I ordered.

“Many of them want to work again, reopen their shops, go back to their homes. I could provide storefronts but it would be a closed economy, what they need is their town back,” Abaddon responded after almost a minute.

“Anything else on the agenda for today or can we drop the locals and get stomping?” I asked.

“I’ll have them gather in the staging area, I assume you’ll want to remain on board?” Abaddon responded.

“You know it, this is gonna be fun!” I exclaimed.


Perspective Change: Luna


Abaddon had all of the townsponies unloaded within the hour, leaving me to lead them to a safe spot where they could watch the first steps towards getting their town back. Or stomps in this case.

“This seems backwards, flattening the town to fix it,” Mayor Mare commented, looking out over the devastation from the hill we were gathered on.

“I haven’t heard a faster way to remove the millions of pony sized spider corpses,” I replied, already starting to get bored. ‘Come on Abby, get going. These baby steps will take forever.’

“Was tapping a hoof considered fast before...Oh, excuse me Princess, I wasn’t thinking,” Mayor Mare stumbled.

“It’s quite alright, I’m well past my...previous issues. I thought he was merely taking small steps but you’re right, he’s just tapping his foot,” I replied, tilting my head in confusion.

“That’s when we, that’s when we ride on these bitches.”

“Ah, that’s why. I suppose even Abby needs music to dance to,” I commented, “Keep watching everypony, and various other beings, this will be a sight to see.”

The best word I could use to describe Abaddon’s movements when the beat began would be frolicking, or maybe a seizure. Both perhaps?

“Ha!  He dances just like Twilight!” Rainbow Dash laughed, alerting me to her presence.

“The sad thing is that he does,” Spike agreed, his voice coming from the space next to my left fetlock.

“It’s Spike right? I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced, I’m Luna,” I greeted.

“Uh, yeah, everypony knows you Princess,” Spike replied awkwardly.

“Sorry, it’s just that I’ve been spending so much time with Twilight but I never seem to see you anymore,” I apologized.

“I’ve been staying with Rarity ever since the library got destroyed, she brought all of her stuff when she evacuated and I’ve been helping her catch up on her orders. So many rolls of silk alone, I don’t know how she carried it all,” Spike responded, showing his exhaustion for a brief moment.

“Never underestimate a determined pony, I myself have seen a normal earth pony break some of the strongest armor in Equestria,” I advised.

“Hehe, yeah, good times,” Lucky commented before returning to her own conversation.

“Her? Wow,” Spike replied.

“She was a little excited. Hey, Abby’s nearly done. Are you looking forward to having your home back?” I asked.

“I really am, though now it’s so I can find a dictionary. Unless you happen to know what a ‘faggot’ is?” Spike asked.

“Me,” Lyra snapped, stomping over when she heard Spike’s ignorant question, “Don’t you ever repeat that Spike, it’s incredibly offensive.”

“Oh? I admit that I don’t know its meaning either,” I prompted.

“It’s a derogatory term for homosexuals, one I particularly hate,” Lyra seethed.

“If it makes you feel better, I know Jekyll doesn’t hate you or others like you. I’d stake my crown that he picked the song because of the ditches part and how it fits with what Abby’s doing,” I placated.

“You don’t think I know that? I’m still mad that it’s in the chorus...and that Bon-Bon is dancing to it,” Lyra griped.

“She could just be happy that she’s getting her home back,” I guessed.

“Our home, and she’s singing along. She’s a lesbian too, it’s weird to hear her voice saying that,” Lyra continued.

“Didn’t you want to marry Jeff?” I asked.

“We did marry Jeff, thanks for letting the local gossips know. I’m still gay,” Lyra insisted.

“This is why nopony ever sees me anymore, you get to talking to other ponies and forget I exist,” Spike complained.

“Hey Cat!” I called, getting the succubus’s attention, “Come hang out with Spike while I keep Lyra from blowing a gasket!”

“You’re starting to sound like Jay!” Catrix shouted back, “I’ll be right over!”

“Forget what I said, you’re awesome,” Spike exclaimed as Catrix hurried over to us and scooped him up.

“So you and Jeff already tied the knot?” I confirmed, returning my attention to Lyra.

“He insisted that Bonnie was part of it too, some nonsense about having a healthy relationship. Bonnie actually liked the idea after the third night,” Lyra explained, a hint of perverse pride entering her voice.

“Lyra, there are fillies and colts present,” I warned.

“No details, of course. Anyway, Jeff managed to get Bonnie and I hitched, something I’ve been trying to do for years, and we both got married to him as a bonus. We call him Josie at home, just for our sakes,” Lyra continued.

“Well I’m happy for you, and Jay will be as well when he finds out,” I congratulated.

“If you’re sure he’s no bigot,” Lyra replied, her mood souring again even though the song had ended long ago.

“I watched him berate a mare for pushing her daughter to find a stallion, I’m fairly sure he doesn’t harbor any resentment,” I insisted.

“More like no feelings about it at all, kinda comes with being genderless,” Jay corrected, startling me. I hadn’t seen or heard him walk up from behind.

“Then what’s with the song?” Lyra accused.

“Dead in Ditches. The name ought to give you your answer,” Jay deadpanned.

“Still offensive,” Lyra griped.

“Can’t please everyone, why try?” Jay countered, his flippant tone catching me off guard, “Way I see it, it’s a waste of time and energy to get caught up in what other people think. Imma do me, you can go fuck yourself if that bothers you.”

“That’s...actually really similar to my attitude. If you’re really not homophobic and that was just a song, then I guess I should apologize for making such a fuss,” Lyra conceded.

“Don’t worry about it kid, you haven’t even come close to making what I would call a fuss. Chelly blaming me for a cloudy day and setting my forest on fire is making a fuss,” Jay replied.

“Did you push the clouds in?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes, during her summer sun thing,” Jay admitted.

“Kinda defeats your point,” Lyra commented.

“She still made a scene,” Jay insisted.

“Fine, I give. When will our homes be fixed?” Lyra asked.

“Day or two, Jeff still has to rebuild the terrain and buildings,” Jay answered.

“So back in the monster?” Lyra confirmed.

“Abaddon, and yes. I thought you of all ponies would have a more open mind about us,” Jay responded tersely.

“Anything that keeps me from my home and spouse is a monster regardless of what it is. Until this is over, you, the spiders, and Abby are all monsters in my book,” Lyra spat.

“You understand that the word ‘monster’ is to me what ‘faggot’ is to you right? Makes my blood boil just thinking about all the people who’ve hidden behind that fucking word while they massacred innocents just because they were different. I’ve seen minotaurs hanged because they were born larger than their peers, gryphons burned alive for having the coloration of a rival town, ponies tied up and tossed into timberwolf dens just because they liked others with the same parts. They were all labeled as monsters and they died for it, killed by the real monsters.

“So if I’m in your fucking way, tough shit. I didn’t ask for my town to be attacked by some underground evil, hell I didn’t even know until it was on top of us. I am fixing your fucking houses with my bits and blood, and all I’ve asked for in return is some fucking patience. You are fucking welcome!” Jay ranted, stunning everyone else out of their conversations to look at him in embarrassment.

“I-” Lyra attempted.

“Oh, I’m not even close to being done. Do you have any idea how many homes your glorious leader has had repaired? Out of her own pocket? Not fucking one, Celestia might come in and save a city when she feels like it but she has never stuck around to fix anything. And somehow I’m the bastard? I save your lives, give you food and shelter, and rebuild your homes, never asking for a single bit, and all I get in return is bitching that I’m moving too slowly,” Jay continued, “Fuck you Lyra, your house will get done when it gets done and not one damn second sooner.”

“Jay wait!” I called as he stormed away.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“I’m sorry!” I heard Lyra shout, but I wasn’t paying much attention to her. I knew Luna was galloping after me, but I didn’t want to talk to her either. All I wanted was something alive I could justify punching until it wasn’t.

“Jay!” Luna shouted in my ear, breaking me from my mental torture of a long dead criminal.

“What?” I snapped, “Sorry, that just struck a nerve.”

“I noticed, and I’ve seen this look before; you wear it every time you want to punch something,” Luna replied.

“You have no idea. I don’t need that shit from them. Kids I’ll forgive, they don’t know any better. But Lyra? She has no right to call me a monster,” I seethed.

“I know, and she does too now. Let’s get back home and call it a day, I think we could both use some time to decompress,” Luna suggested.

“Even Cat has veiled her intentions better than that,” I commented.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m suggesting that we just lounge around for once,” Luna corrected.

“I’d like that,” I agreed, mentally planning out a version of my favorite chair that would fit Luna. We continued walking in a more comfortable silence for a few minutes before Luna spoke again.

“Hey, you remember what I said before about stress relief?” she asked.

“Fuckin’ called it,” I declared.

“No, I just wanted to say that it goes both ways. You gave me your body to work my frustrations out on, it’s only fair that I do the same. We may not be a normal couple, but we’re still partners in this. Equals,” Luna explained.

“Thanks Lu, but I still want to find a scumbag to punch,” I replied.

“Wow, that was stupid timing wasn’t it? I just realized that I was basically offering to let you punch me. Please don’t, by the way,” Luna requested.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, I still feel bad about the time that you got me to. I’m never doing that again, no matter how loose your grip on reality is,” I stated. We fell back into silence while we walked the rest of the way to Abaddon.

“Sir, Abaddon’s a bit giddy right now. It seems he’s been harboring a fair amount of malice for the spiders after they took him down twice,” Tzu cautioned.

“Thank you for reminding me,” Abaddon complained loudly enough for Celestia to hear him clearly in Canterlot.

“We all have something that we hate, mine’s the changelings. If you hate the spiders for the rest of your life, I’ll understand,” I reassured the gargantuan being before me.

“Jeffrey reports that he’ll have the terrain repaired by morning and the last of the houses by the end of tomorrow, however there are many items that he cannot replicate to an acceptable degree. Mostly books and other processed items, they will need to be replaced the normal way,” Tzu continued.

“Take what and who you need to get it done, same as always,” I ordered, “Make sure everything is immaculate and exactly how they left it, down to the food in their cabinets.”

“Yes sir,” Tzu replied, dutiful as ever, before hurrying off to make the arrangements.

“Do you want to fly up or just teleport?” I asked Luna, a bright flash from her horn gave me my answer. Glancing around, I found that we had been teleported directly into our room, “Okay then, guess you weren’t up for more walking.”

“Nope,” Luna answered as she leapt, pulling off half a backflip before landing roughly on the bed.

“I’d give that a seven out of ten for style.”

“Bite me.”


Perspective Change: India twenty-five dash two
Canterlot Castle


“Thank you for meeting with me Ambassador Cain, I’m sure we can find some way to put an end to this mess before it can even start,” Celestia greeted as a well dressed gryphon walked in. Neither of them thought to inspect the potted plant next to them, no one ever does.

“Absolutely, all you have to do is fall on my sword and the Alliance will back down. Of course, you’re not going to do that,” the gryphon replied arrogantly.

“There must be some way Equestria can appease the Alliance that doesn’t involve my death,” Celestia insisted.

The gryphon sighed loudly and found a chair to sit in, “I’m afraid it’s too late for that. Your repeated invasions may have brought the Alliance together, but it’s the promise of Equestria’s bountiful, safe land that wets their appetite now. The best option for you would be to test your wings, preferably from a window facing away from the mountain or city. The generals are not as polite as myself, and will kill you much more slowly.”

“Did you only come to threaten me Cain? I would love to see some pansy little tweeter general even think he could beat me,” Celestia growled.

“One may not have any chance, but how many can you hold off before one of our blades or bullets finds your horn?” Cain pressed.

“Get the buck out of my castle before I get angry,” Celestia threatened.

“As you wish, it will belong to me soon enough anyway,” Cain replied flippantly as he turned to walk out. As the last words left his beak, Celestia’s eyes flashed and the gryphon exploded.

Another gryphon that had been waiting outside took off running before she too could be reduced to paste. In her haste, she bumped into a royal guard and jabbered incoherently as she tried to placate him and get away from the angry alicorn at the same time. Her glasses slipped as she frantically looked back, exposing her crimson eyes for a brief moment.

The guard shrugged the panicking gryphon off and looked back towards the throne room in irritation, giving any onlookers a glimpse of his own red irises in the process.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Ponyville


“Fuckin’ called it!” I repeated, holding my fist in the air triumphantly.

“I need better insults, the ones I know just cannot express how stupid you’re being,” Luna complained, holding a hoof over her eyes in sympathetic embarrassment.

“Whatever, you’re just mad because I know you too well,” I replied.

“I’m not mad at all, but you’re warm and I wanna cuddle,” Luna argued, “You celebrating something so trite like a colt is keeping me from enjoying my afterglow.”

“Alright, c’mere you,” I said as my hand dropped onto Luna’s shoulder and pulled her into my embrace.

“Much better, thank you,” Luna replied before yawning loudly, “I’m going to rest my eyes, wake me up in an hour or two.”

“Something about enjoying your afterglow?” I asked as Luna’s eyes drifted shut.

“Yes, and I’m going to do so by taking a nap,” Luna insisted. Her tone brooked no argument and she was fast asleep within seconds, leaving my left arm trapped and blood starved under her barrel.

“Definitely not the worst position I’ve been trapped in,” I commented to myself as I rerouted my veins to go through the bed.
> Special 1: Down The Rabbit Hole
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The man walked as though he was late for something, even though he was wandering. Under the lenses of his sunglasses, his eyes darted from face to face; ever watchful for both danger and the ones he sought. In ages past, his six foot height would’ve been enough to see over the people around him. But even with the one inch boost his dull tan boots provided, he could’ve been blind for all the good it did him. What little of the man’s face that could be seen through his thick beard was locked in an easy smile, stubbornly refusing to let those around him know how uncomfortable he was. He hated crowds, too many people, too many unknowns, not enough room to maneuver if one of these strangers moved to attack.

Though none but others like him would notice, the man knew the mark left by violence. His sunglasses had been provided when the sun beat upon him, his boots given to him during a time of learning and camaraderie. The man knew violence because that had been his job until an injury took it from him. Though he had fought and trained until he had recovered, the damage was done, his country no longer required his service. In his despair however, he happened across an unlikely source of support and over the years felt a growing desire to give back to it.

He now searched for those who had been helping him return as much as he could to the community that had helped him so much.

“Hey! Weapons! Over here!” A voice called with a slightly Australian accent. Sitting on a park bench, a lengthy teen, clad in a tee-shirt and jeans, seemed to be hailing him.

“Did you just call me by my username in public?” the man asked with a blank stare that could be felt through his sunglasses.

“It got your attention, didn’t it?” The teen teased with a smirk. Standing a five foot ten, he wasn’t far off the six foot mark himself. As he took off his tan fedora, the teen brushed his dark brown hair out of his eyes.  “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show.”

“Drive was a bitch. Crossing half the country in one night isn’t easy, you know,” the man rebuked, “I think I earned a bit of sleep somewhere in there.”

“Fair enough. Though, I did get off my ass to fly over here. So, I think it’s about even.” The teen admitted with a slight undertone of snark. “Any idea when Militia is gonna get here?”

“No idea where he is, but he does live the closest. I’d guess that he’s probably inside, with those fucking crowds,” the man replied, his voice dropping towards the end.

“Probs’. You alright mate? I know you aren’t a big fan of people…” The teen asked, trailing off.

“I’ll be fine. Fair warning though, I’m going to bitch at every opportunity while we’re in there. Might as well get this over with, eh ‘Eric?’” the man replied, trying to stifle his grimace.

“Might as well. Heh, seems like I’m not the only one calling us by our username.” Eric chuckled, before raising from the bench. As he fixed up the strap of his tan satchel, the Australian motioned for the pair to get moving, “Alright. Lead the way.”

“So what’s with the purse?” Weapons asked lightly as the pair began walking towards the convention’s entrance.

“H-hey! It’s not a purse! It’s a satchel, you know, Indiana Jones wears one.” Eric cried with mock offence. “Plus, I don’t know about you, but I want to buy some stuff.”

“Personal philosophy, I won’t buy anything I can’t or won’t carry in my hands,” Weapons argued sagely. The casual banter was doing wonders for his anxiety.

“So you don’t want a ‘Cresent Rose’? I think it might be a bit too heavy.” Eric shot back,

“More of a shotgun punchy thing guy myself, maybe someday I’ll actually remember what they’re called. You know, I thought about making a functional set once...but the licensing on two SBS Saigas was more than I could afford. Sad times, but what are you gonna do?” Weapons mourned.

“What about a power fist? Maybe stick a rail on it, then a underbarrel shotgun.” The Aussie suggested, ‘Well… a underbarrel Mini nuke launcher would be overkill.’

“Fallout ballistic fist kinda thing? I can dig, but the same issue still applies. What about you? What are you hunting?” Weapons asked.

“At the moment? Cool shit. Maybe see if I can find some neat props, meet some of the Horse Fame, and have a good time.”

“The fuck is a horse fame?” Weapons asked, confused.

“It’s like a celebrity status, but for bronies. So people like, Kkat, Knighty, etc.” Eric replied with a shrug. “Hell, you might even get there one day.”

“I doubt it, but even if I did you wouldn't see me hitting this deathtrap every year,” Weapons griped.

“Eh, we’ll see. Maybe you’ll enjoy it.” Eric replied, with no small amount of cheekiness.

“Just for that, I’m going to find the worst Adventure Time cosplayer in the place and tell them your name is actually Finn,” Weapons threatened jokingly.

“For the love of all things holy, don’t!” Eric pleaded, “I value my sanity too much for that!”

“Ha, you should see your face right now!” Weapons laughed. The teen walking next to him had a look that could redefine terror, though there was still some mirth in his eyes, “Seriously though, thanks for keeping me distracted. This would be hell to walk through alone.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Eric replied, sharing a slight chuckle. “Now, where did Militia run off to?”

Around them, the main event hall was jam packed. From Con-goers, to merch stalls. The whole place was abundant with things to do, there were even a few cosplayers running around. If either of the pair had more than a vague description of their third member, they might’ve noticed the tall, dark dressed, pale skinned teen walking towards them through the crowd.

“Gentlemen.”

The pair turned around, or rapidly whirled around in the man’s case, toward the sudden verbal intrusion.

Standing at easily six foot three, the tall teen was dressed in a black motorcycle jacket, dark blue jeans, and black vans. The dark ensemble was contrasted by the person’s pale skin, leading up to a clean, young face, adorned with clear glasses framing the sight of two bright blue eyes, with a freshly done military-style buzzcut. The only asymmetrical feature on the youth’s face was a faint scar on the left eyebrow.

The teen’s grin slid into a smirk, “Took you by surprise, huh? My bad.”

“Militia?”, the Aussie and bearded man asked.

“In the flesh,” the two-tone teen confirmed as he took a bow, the emphasis and mock grace gaining the attention of nearby passerby, much to the anxious adult’s dismay, “Militia Man, at your service.”

“Well, now that the gang’s all here we can actually head towards the good shit,” Weapons suggested, forcing himself into a more relaxed pose, “Seriously, we can’t fuck up the day Jay gets abducted at his abduction site, it’s impossible. We could wander around all damn day and it would work for me.”

“Noice. Now, where to first?” Eric asked, before admitting shyly. “This is my first con, soo… yeah.”

“Same, I have no idea where we should go. Plenty of prop-shops between here and the actual entrance,” Weapons suggested.

“I wonder if anyone will be dressed up as the Merchant… If I was selling shit, that’s what I’d do,” Eric asked out loud, “For shits and giggles.”

“You’d make bank off dumb people too, trying to get sent off to other worlds and shit. It’d actually work really well if you had the patience for it,” Weapons mused as the trio wandered towards the stalls.

“Until it doesn’t work, and they become… vindictive.”

The trio shared a nervous agreement to that; many people wouldn’t appreciate that brand of eye-wool, especially at an event that functions as a veritable magnet for the passionate.

Soon, they began a slow meander around the grounds, eyeing the stalls and services for anything that caught their attentions. Though after a few hours, the group’s responses had dulled to temporary interest at best and, on occasion… varying degrees of disgust.

Eric let out an explosive sigh,”Can we go to one of the panels? We’ve been walking for hours!”

“Wait!” Militia silenced, before slowly raising a finger, close to his chest to avoid attention, through a break in the crowd. There was a small open lot, where there was what appeared to be a rapidly, and equally shoddily, assembled shop; a waist high wooden bench with items on display, a few stands with more supposed merchandise, and a dirty teepee in the back, although the amount of junk/merch spilling out from the tents barely-latched opening suggested it was intended more for storage than actual residence.

However, Militia’s rapt attention wasn’t focused as much on the tent nor bench, but rather the two people on either side of it. On the consumer’s side stood a pair of cosplayers, specifically a Mark Whalberg lookalike and a small child in a teddy bear costume.

“Wow, a ‘Ted’ cosplay? Who dresses their kid up as Ted? What a douche,” Weapons commented as he eyed the pair. Even from the distance between the trio and the stall, they could clearly see the parent buying a cashier’s outfit that was about the right size for the child. At this point, all three got a good look at the saleman, “Damn Finn, you called it. We’ve got a Resident Evil Merchant peddling random shit to dumbasses.”

Finn paused for a moment before commenting with a chuckle, “Well shit. I can tell the future.”

“You know, I’ve always lowkey hated the Merchant. Seemed to me that the whole Displaced thing was just a new kind of human trafficking. If that kid vanishes, my ‘security blanket’ and I might just have words with this creep,” Weapons growled quietly, shifting his jacket in agitation. From where they walked, Militia and Eric could see the faint outline of an ‘L’ shaped object underneath Weapons’ armpit.

“Really Weapons? Did you have to bring… that?” Eric half complained, “Cons have a security team to deal with… those problems.”

“I am in San Diego, California at one of the softest targets on the planet, of course I’m going to ignore the local laws and bring my own protection,” Weapons scoffed, thinking this would be obvious. As far as he could tell, that’s what the locals did.

As though the universe was attempting to call Weapons’ bluff, the child turned teddy bear dropped through the cement sidewalk. Four sets of eyes widened at the sudden disappearance, three from the writing team and one from the douchey parent.

“Honestly, he’s probably better off now,” the creepy vendor droned, cutting off the customer’s shocked accusation before he could begin. And then the Mark Whalberg lookalike was gone too, though angry shouting down the walkway revealed that he hadn’t been moved very far.

“I...fuckin’ seriously?!” Weapons exclaimed as he shot forward, his slight country accent showing in his anger. Weapons stopped short of the stall and desperately looked around for any sort of trickery, finding none. The unfortunate child was nowhere to be found.

“Nice seventies hippie outfit, the bandana is a bit much though,” the merchant critiqued as Militia and Eric caught up to their team member, “I have a tie dye one that might fit your look better.”

“Burn in hell, fucker,” Weapons spat absently, lifting the canvas at the front of the stall in his search for answers.

“Weapons,” Militia said through gritted teeth, “Calm. Down.”

“Mate, being like this won’t solve anything…” Eric murmured, troubled at the lack of scientific reasoning behind this… insanity. ‘Maybe I should stop taunting murphy…’

“Yes, just relax and see if I have anything to suit your fancy,” the Merchant taunted. Every member of the small group was now sure that this was The Merchant.

For one of the three, time stopped. Memories flooded through the bearded man’s mind as his vision locked on the kidnapper. His first day on a shooting range with his father’s handgun, age six. His first tactical pistol competition, age ten. Training to be better. Faster. Draw, aim, fire, one second. Draw, aim, fire, half a second. Draw, aim, fire, quarter second. Draw, aim, fire, zero point two-two seconds. First place IDPA trophy, age thirteen. Training. Training. Training. Enlistment. Basic training, instructor berating him for shooting so quickly, every shot in the ten ring. Instructors stop and let him shoot. Competition in the ranks, a rival. Striving to be better. Faster. Never stop, always faster, more accurate.

Six hundred muscles, long trained for fast twitch movements, snapped into action, then eight, then three. The first round left the barrel and passed through the otherworldly vendor’s chest, embedding in the wall behind. Corrections occurred before the slide could return forward, sending the second shot through the enemy’s forehead. No damage.

The world went black for the trio as the final shot was fired. An impact could be heard, though none of the three could see yet, and a mix of concern and pride is felt by one. Did he kill the one that got them, or did the shot go wide as his vision faded and hit another? No, not at that range. Fifteen feet was far too close to miss by by that margin.

Just a quickly as darkness overcame them, it was gone. But, something was wrong.

The exact same sense of wrongness was felt by each of the three as their new proportions became apparent.

‘Oooooh fuck, that does not feel right…’ Eric mentally complained,

“What the fuck?” Weapons groaned as he reached a left hand he didn’t recognize towards his face. Even the sleeve of his camouflage jacket had changed to black leather, merging into a simple tee shirt at the shoulder before returning to his familiar jacket at the right shoulder. The chimera tilted from gravity taking effect on its mismatched legs, but a new development wouldn’t allow the new being to panic for long.

A dark blue shape hit the ground in front of them with a thud, revealing the spray of red and gray liquids across the ground. The exact shot aimed at the Merchant, but turned on another.

Militia was quick to come out of his stupor, ‘Wha...what is that? Is that… Luna?! Did we… did we just shoot Luna?!’

A black and red biped next to the corpse looked at the horrifying amalgamation in confusion for a full second, “You are so fucking dead.”

‘Well fuck, I'm gonna die like a bitch while merged with two other dudes. I'd say this was my hell, but it won't last long enough.’

‘I always wanted to die in good company. May not be what I had in mind, but it could be worse.’

‘Noooo! I can’t die a virgin! I survived Australia! At least give me this!’

Any further thought or action was rendered impossible as the familiar shapeshifter shot forward and sunk long claws into their torso, though they weren’t in pain long as the next swipe cleaved their bearded head in two.

“Fuck me running, the hell was that thing? Hey Lu, look at...fuck. Damnit damnit damnit, I needed you alive. I fucking needed...someone that wouldn’t die on me. Maybe I can put you back together, just scrape up all these bits of...of...occipital lobe here and...fuck. How am I supposed to tell your sister, how am I supposed to tell the world?” Jekyll wondered aloud as he knelt by the body of his friend and accidental wife.





Real Author’s Note:
Fun fact: the random bits of dialogue in this...thing were actual conversations we were having during writing. And yes, the firearm training bit is a real part of my history. A reminder, this is not cannon.

Eric’s Editor’s Note:
Extra fun fact: This was the first time Weapons gave me writing perms on Gdocs.
* Headless noises *

Militia’s Editor’s Note:
Had a lot of fun with this collaboration, even if it turned into a conglomeration abomination only to suffer an evisceration. 




> Chapter 22: Attitude Adjustments
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna was less than pleased when she awoke and discovered the moon high in the sky, “What happened to two hours?”

“You looked too peaceful, I’d never seen you manage to sleep without constantly rolling and twisting. Even when I’m right there you’re always shuffling around,” I replied.

“I was exhausted,” Luna agreed before shaking her head and glaring at me once more, “But now you’ve let me ruin my sleep schedule! It’ll be days before I’m able to sleep at night again! I need to fall back asleep right now and stay that way until morning.”

“Easy enough,” I commented, sending a melatonin laced tendril her way.

“No no no, not like that. I refuse to spend this night or any other in a coma, it’s bad enough that I’ve accepted sleeping through my own nights,” Luna argued, her horn lighting as she pushed my tendril away.

“Then what?” I inquired.

“I will have to be made tired,” Luna reasoned, her voice gaining a sultry edge.

“Luna, do you remember our talk about slowing down? You’ve got me for the rest of eternity, barring anything crazy like the sun exploding, we don’t need to be trying to cram as much experience into every day as we can,” I rebutted, nipping this line of thought in the bud as gently as I could.

“But-” Luna attempted.

“No buts, this is what I’ve been trying to avoid. Yesterday morning we had an unconventional but functional teacher-student relationship, now I don’t know what the fuck’s going on. I said I’d oblige you, and I will, but right before bed and then again as soon as you wake up is too much. I’m not mad or anything, just a little concerned about where this is heading,” I continued, maintaining my gentle tone, “I can make you drowsy without knocking you out, how does that sound.”

“What’s at the end of your metaphorical road then?” Luna pressed.

“Lucky,” I answered simply.

“One day I’ll win an argument, but not on this. I’d take a coma over becoming that mare, I can’t live like that,” Luna relented, reaching for my waiting tendril with a hoof.

“It’ll be a few seconds before it takes effect, avoid driving or operating heavy machinery for the next eight to twelve hours and contact your physician if you develop any new or worsening symptoms. Avoid making this a regular event as dependency may occur with repeated doses,” I advised as I delivered a measured dose of the sleep aid into Luna’s bloodstream.

“Will I just fall over if I don’t lay down?” Luna asked.

“No, it just calms you down enough to fall asleep and makes you a bit sleepy. You should quit staring at me and come to bed though,” I replied.

Luna sighed and eyed the bed, noting that my position was exactly the same as when she’d fallen asleep before. And when she woke up. And when she came back from looking out at the sky, “Not like that, I’m not. It isn’t natural for ponies to sleep on their backs, roll onto your side so I can sleep properly.”

“Getting a bit cranky already?” I joked as I followed her command, scooting back and rolling onto my left shoulder. Luna grumpily climbed onto the bed and settled in with her back to my chest.

After a few minutes of silence Luna spoke again, “Would it be so bad if you just-”

“No, sleep now,” I ordered, wrapping my right arm around her chest to give her the extra warmth.

“Fine fine, just don’t let me sleep in again,” Luna relented. She was back to sleeping peacefully within a few minutes.

I woke Luna up just before dawn with a hand on her shoulder, though she didn’t know it was still dark outside. Following her outside, I interrupted her morning ritual of swapping the sun and moon and sat next to her, “Those three bright ones there, the ones that make a triangle, they’re directly in line with the kingdom. I wouldn’t have found it otherwise.”

“They’re part of the manticore constellation, I never knew they pointed towards anything,” Luna replied after a moment.

“They don’t, not yet. They will in time, but for now they light the way for weary travellers. I hope you never forget how many ponies have depended on the moon and stars to find their way home, how many have stared at this same sky for inspiration. You’ve been sleeping through it, but it will always be yours. Never forget that,” I said as I wrapped an arm around Luna’s shoulders.

“I know, but it gets hard sometimes. How am I supposed to be the princess of the night if I’m asleep? I’m not even holding court or wearing my crown anymore,” Luna rebuked.

“Then reopen the court and get Danny to make you a better crown if it makes you feel better. Hell you could run it right here at noon if you wanted, nothing actually says night court has to be at night. It’s your time to help people, not the government’s,” I suggested.

“I could do that, but why? I have the political weight of a pencil,” Luna complained.

My hand darted from Luna’s shoulder and slapped the mark on her flank before returning to it’s post, “Because it’s your birthright, both the power and the responsibility. At some point you’re going to have to go back to Canterlot and I won’t be able to go with you, publicly anyway. No point worrying yet though, we’ll figure it out when it comes.”

“But that’s days or weeks away, and I’m just sitting around learning what I should’ve learned as a filly. I guess I’m just feeling a little useless right now,” Luna confessed.

“Useless? You changed a life yesterday, freed Mary from living in fear,” I pointed out.

“And I should’ve done that ages ago, why didn’t Lucky tell me?” Luna asked.

“Because it’s a blatant abuse of power and she’d never willingly put anyone in that position,” I replied, “But sometimes that’s what it takes to set things right.”

“Oh,” Luna commented sadly.

“Hey, chin up. You’re making good calls on this stuff, you’ve figured out how to filter lessons out of my banter, and you’re molding yourself into one hell of a leader. I’ve never seen anyone pick up on this stuff as fast as you have, I’d even go as far as saying you don’t need me anymore. Not as a mentor anyway,” I praised, making Luna smile for a moment.

“I think I know what to do, what I can do until I’m confident both of us can return to Canterlot permanently. I can walk the dreams of ponies across Equestria, battling their nightmares and helping them live happily. What do you think?” Luna proposed.

“I think it’s a great idea. It’ll let ponies know you’re a protective soul and they’ll trust you more,” I replied before looking back up at the stars. After a few seconds, a new question bloomed in my mind, “Hey, I’ve been wondering...Do you actually paint the night sky like they say?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. Equis lies in the center of a star cluster, so I simply block out and dim those that I do not wish to muddle up my canvas while allowing those I seek to use to shine. It’s more of a reverse painting than anything,” Luna answered, happy to switch to a topic she knew so well.

“I see, must’ve taken you a long time to make the constellations then,” I assumed.

“I drew on the domed window in father’s study as a foal, the current constellations match my doodles in both shape and placement,” Luna confessed.

“I like them, they’ve kept me company on so many lonely nights. Thank you for them,” I replied gratefully, shocking the alicorn as though she had never been thanked for her work before.

“You’re...uh...you’re welcome?” Luna responded, sounding unsure of how to react.

“There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in your work, especially when it’s as beautiful as this,” I reassured her.

We continued chatting idly through the dawn, eventually settling in to have breakfast with the others. True to his word, Jeffrey had the town back to normal within two days and every single pony, Lyra included, made sure to thank us for our efforts before going back to their homes. Now that Abaddon’s hallways and rooms were empty once more, it felt like something was missing. Almost as if the life had left the areas, leaving the leviathan a walking ghost town.

“Not having foals playing in the halls feels weird,” Abaddon complained, feeling the change more than the rest of us.

“Isn’t Scoots still hanging around?” I asked, having noticed the filly hanging back when the others left.

“One filly doesn’t make much noise,” Abaddon pointed out.

“I guess. Make sure she gets to school and whatnot, other than that she’s free to hang around if she wants. And try to find her a real home in Ponyville, I’d rather not dump her here if something comes up,” I ordered.

“Understood. Would Jeffrey be a suitable caretaker? He’s provided for her before and can create a home for her underground,” Abaddon suggested.

“Eww, no. Ponies don’t belong underground, pegasi especially,” Luna rebuked, breaking away from her conversation with Lily.

“Have them work it out, it shouldn’t be too difficult for Jeff to make another house above ground. Honestly, she shouldn’t be here anyway; she should be with her friends.”

“She was living in her parent’s home before the spiders destroyed it, she should be able to move back in easily enough,” Luna added.

“This still sucks, this whole fucking town and not one couple will take her in? We can’t do it, it wouldn’t be right to tear her away from her friends every time we needed to move. Lily’s too young to handle a filly her age and Cat’s Cat. Harry would make a damn good parent if he didn’t have the emotional relatability of a brick, and more importantly he’s busy. Dash and Scoots have an almost sisterly bond, but Dash isn’t ready for a filly either. How the fuck do I not know anyone capable of caring for a child?” I ranted.

“What about Wind Chill? The way you spoke of her, it seemed like she cared for Freydis as much as you did,” Luna proposed.

“No. I won’t bring the kingdom back just so it can get roped up in this stupid war. I’ve waited this long, I can wait until it’s over,” I rebutted.

“Blue and I might not be out of the question, he has the funding to hire nannies when neither of us are in town,” Lily added.

“Neither of you live here either, you’d be uprooting her,” I argued.

“Ivy Star?” Luna asked.

“Canterlot,” I replied.

“I’ve raised more than my share already, what’s one more?” Lucky offered.

“Too far,” I answered.

“Too disturbing,” Luna added.

“You could always stop trying to make decisions for me,” Scootaloo stated irritably as she walked onto the deck.

“We just worry about you,” Luna replied apologetically.

“Well don’t, I get by just fine.”

“You really shouldn’t stay here,” I pointed out, “Your old house is back to normal, you should go back there and let Jeffrey look after you.”

“You evicting me?” Scootaloo asked.

“Not yet, but you can’t come with us if something happens again,” I replied.

“I am starting to miss my friends, I guess I could go back,” Scootaloo agreed reluctantly.

“I have a friend you’d like, but she’s trapped right now because Celestia is kinda stupid. Would you be alright with meeting her when we get her free? It might not be for a while though,” I asked.

“That Chill pony? I’ll talk to her, but I won’t make any promises,” Scootaloo shrugged.

“Then I’ll send her your way,” I replied, prompting Scootaloo to leave; presumably to gather her belongings.

“Tis a sad time when a filly her age is so angry,” Luna lamented once Scootaloo was out of sight.

“I’ve been trying to work with her, but she’s locked up tighter than Abaddon’s butthole,” Catrix commented.

“I do not possess the aforementioned orifice,” Abaddon pointed out, sounding annoyed.

“Exactly,” Catrix agreed, getting a laugh out of Lucky.

“Does this feel wrong to anyone else? As if we’re missing something important?” Luna asked out of the blue.

“Like the other shoe is about to drop and everything’s going to be horrible?” Lucky added, nodding.

“I feel it too, just can’t put my finger on it,” I agreed, relieved that I wasn’t going crazy.

“I don’t feel any-” Lily attempted before she was interrupted by a spray of blood hitting the side of her face as a purple unicorn teleported into the deck at high speed.

“Fuck!” Lucky shouted on reflex as I jumped onto the jumble of broken bones.

“Skull is intact. She’s alive!” I informed the others as both of my arms burst into tendrils to start putting Twilight back together. I started by severing her spine as it was easy for me to fix and would erase most of her pain, then got to work pulling bone shards out of her organs.

“Let me help,” Luna insisted as she crouched opposite me and fired powerful healing spells into the areas I hadn’t gotten to yet, such as her legs and jaw. Without full knowledge of Twilight’s specific anatomy, Luna’s spells would be needed to accomplish the fine work I couldn’t do.

“Lu, focus on the area’s I’ve already done. Try to get her internals back in shape while I move to the worst of the injuries,” I ordered, getting a nod from the diarch. Nearly an hour later, Luna collapsed onto her side, soon followed by me, as we watched Twilight Sparkle rise on her shaky legs.

“Ow,” Twilight managed.

“Twilight, please stop getting hurt. At this rate we’ll be reattaching your severed head before the week is done,” Luna requested tiredly; healing spells were never meant to correct that much damage.

“I saw the library was back and got excited, I’ll try to be more careful Princess,” Twilight promised before sitting down with a grimace.

“If you end up going too fast, get the attention of an enforcer. They’re strong enough flyers to slow you down safely,” I ordered the young mare.

“Thank you,” Twilight thanked, turning to regard Lucky and Lily, “Shining says he’s sorry for going after Mary, she’s been officially pardoned of any alleged wrongdoing. Also..”

“Also what?” Lucky pressed.

“Our mom beat him with a frozen waffle when she learned what he’d done, some of the other guards have been making fun of the black eye she gave him,” Twilight confessed, struggling not to laugh at her brother’s pain.

“Jay, I take it back, I would love to meet this mare someday,” Lucky managed before breaking into peals of laughter.

Lily was stone silent as she walked up to Twilight and stared into her eyes. After a tense moment, Lily leapt forward and hugged the other unicorn to the ground, openly sobbing as she apologized for hitting Twilight and being such a jerk. Twilight rubbed her assailants back dumbly, her face void of everything but confusion.

“It’s okay, I understand,” Twilight mumbled as the gars in her head turned just enough to understand what was happening.

“Lily, let her breathe. Twilight isn’t like you and your sisters, she needs time to heal properly,” I instructed the apologetic receptionist.

“I’m sorry,” Lily apologized again as she released Twilight and helped her to her hooves.

“It’s alright Lily, if somepony went after Shiny or Cadence like that I’d be pretty mad too,” Twilight replied, showing a genuine smile. I silently breathed a sigh of relief, I’d been worried that there’d be some bad blood between the two. Two powerful unicorns with a grudge against each other can cause some serious destruction. While Lily didn’t have Twilight’s raw power, she did know plenty of tricks to make up for it. More than enough to be dangerous.

“I don’t deserve it after yesterday, but do you think we could be friends?” Lily asked, earning a quiet nod of approval from me.

“Aw, but I was just getting used to having you as an enemy,” Twilight joked, pulling the other mare into a much gentler hug.

“That’s a yes,” Luna whispered loudly at Lily’s confused look.

“Thanks,” Lily whispered back as Twilight released her.

“Anytime, you looked as confused as I feel whenever I see your mother’s cutie mark,” Luna replied, getting looks from everyone, “What? I really can’t tell what two blobs are supposed to mean.”

“They’re not blobs dear, they’re hips. See this blue one here over this pink one,” Lucky clarified as she showed off her mark. Luna’s eyes widened as the pieces fit together in her mind.

“You...really? How? I mean, I don’t want to seem rude but…” Luna stammered.

“I know. I know. You meet a mare whose special talent is being a good lay and you wonder how the stars did she discover that at thirteen,” Lucky began.

“Uh huh,” Luna managed, looking torn between her curiosity and deep seated fear of the hotel owner.

“Mom, please, at least give me time to get away before you scar me for life,” Lily pleaded. Lucky simply smiled at her daughter and waited patiently for Lily and Twilight to teleport away before continuing.

“It was a pretty innocent thing actually, just me and the neighbor colt fooling around in his parent’s shed. You know, the typical teenager stuff. What’s this? What’s that? That sorta thing. Well, eventually we stumbled onto exactly how ‘this’ and ‘that’ worked and boom, tramp stamp. Heh, the light from it appearing actually got us caught,” Lucky concluded.

“That’s actually pretty tame compared to what I was expecting,” Luna commented.

“Sorry about the light details, my memory isn’t what it once was,” Lucky apologized.

“There it is,” Luna groaned.

“Anyone else still have that dread?” I asked before Luna could discover whether her brain parasite would let her have an aneurysm. It wouldn't.

“Yeah, but why?” Lucky responded, looking around.

“I don’t know, Abaddon?”

“I haven’t noticed anything unusual,” the leviathan replied.

“Keep your eyes peeled, I’d rather not have another spider incident,” I ordered as I walked over to my chair for a cigarette. Instead of finding the usual leather package in the pocket, my hand pressed into something soft and sticky, “If this is shit, somepony is getting shaved.”

Sure enough, my hand came out of the pocket covered in feces. Luna gasped at the cruel prank but I just consumed the biomatter like any other, leaving my chair spotless in less than a second. My cigarettes were nowhere to be found however.

“Oh it is ON now. Abbadon, Tzu, now. I want perimeter sweeps every five seconds. Someone get me locations on HVTs, I want inches people. Cat, boobs, you’re on distraction duty. Luna, grab anything that sneaks past the patrols. Lucky...you’re fucking useless here, go inside,” I ordered, gesturing wildly as I sent enforcers scrambling to catch the thief. Tzu landed on the deck at a full sprint as he checked with every group that landed. Abaddon must’ve looked like a kicked beehive with all the enforcers flying around him.

“Sir, reports indicate that Pinkie is at work but Miss Dash has not yet been located,” Tzu stated after a brief moment.

“Then it’s her. Find her and bring her to me,” I instructed, bringing the full power of my army down on the one who had pranked me.

A quiet snicker brought my attention to a nearby cloud, easily missed by anything with lesser hearing. Tzu followed my gaze and nodded to a group of Gammas getting ready to head back out, sending them at the cloud in a whirl of wings and claws.

“Ooof,” Dash grunted as she was tossed at my feet by the enforcers, her legs and wings stuck to her body by globs of biomass.

“Hey Dash, you look like you pranked the wrong bioweapon,” I noted. Dash wheezed as she looked up at me, having had the wind knocked out of her by her rough landing.

“Worth it,” Dash managed as she regained her breath.

“The shit I’ll forgive, it was pretty high in nitrates, but I don’t care  for thieves. Give me my cigs back and maybe I won’t shave you,” I threatened.

“You’re bluffing, you won’t leave me without my coat this close to winter,” Dash replied confidently, her smile dropped when I stroked her head and came back with a chunk of her mane, “Gilda has them, she dropped by earlier today and we’ve been pranking everypony.”

“Was that so hard?” I cooed, rubbing my thumb on the side of her muzzle. She’d have a large bald spot on the side of her face, but she wouldn’t freeze.

“I don’t know any ‘Gilda’ but there is a gryphon walking around town,” Tzu reported.

“That might be her, might not,” Dash replied, unwilling to give up her friend.

“How about this: in exchange for getting my cigarettes back and not being stolen from again, I’ll help you prank the shit out of Gilda. Deal?” I offered.

Rainbow Dash thought about my offer for several seconds before making up her mind, “Deal.”

“Cool. Hey Tzu, I might need an expert for this one; fetch me Discord, would you?” I requested, getting an evil grin in return as the enforcer hurried inside.

“The Discord? As in-” Dash began.

“Make the world go topsy-turvy, change the way you think, and tie your breath in a knot, Discord? Yes indeedy missereeny,” Discord finished, with Rainbow Dash’s voice.

“Gah!” Dash cried in alarm, jumping to take flight on reflex and ending up in Discord’s mismatched arms.

“If I never find anything else admirable about you, you are definitely punctual,” I commented.

“Are you kidding? I’d never miss an opportunity to spread some good old fashioned chaos, especially when it’s part of a prank war. I adore prank wars,” Discord replied, seeming giddy at the very thought.

“Glad you’re on board, let’s make a game plan. My initial thinking is based on something you said before, that you would alter gravity to let ponies walk on walls and whatnot. Could you do that here?” I began.

“Sure, but that’s small time. I could make it so that everything the pranked pony ate or drank tasted like old broccoli. Or make it so when they tried to walk forwards, they go backwards instead,” Discord countered.

“Huh, I hadn’t thought that far into it. Tzu, any news on the gryphon?” I asked.

“Pinkie has decided that she’s too grumpy and has invited her to a party,” Abaddon responded. Looking around, I discovered Tzu wasn’t back yet.

“Can you make us invisible?” I asked Discord, a new idea forming.

“And partially intangible, which is obviously the best kind of intangible. Lets you mess with stuff instead of just being there,” Discord confirmed, growing a sly smile.

“To Sugarcube Corner then, we’ve got a war to win,” I declared, discovering that Discord, Dash, and I were already there as I finished speaking. Pinkie looked around in confusion, but shrugged and went back to hanging streamers when she didn’t see us. I looked at the translucent pair before me and smiled evilly, this was going to be fun.

The party started bare seconds after the last decoration was placed, though none would know from Pinkie’s expression. The party mare was as excited as ever as she led pony after pony into the main room of the bakery, showing off the confections quickly before rushing back to repeat the process. Rainbow and Discord took positions on the ceiling as I crept around on the floor, each of us waiting for our target to arrive.

Just as Pinkie’s mane started drooping, the door to the bakery slammed open a final time. On the other side stood a particularly grumpy looking gryphon who looked around for a long moment before wandering inside. I was not getting a good impression from my feathered target as she rudely snapped at any pony that got in her way, though there was something about her I couldn’t place.

Discord struck first, toggling the friction of Gilda’s pads on and off and causing her to bump into just about everyone she passed. Each time the gryphon refused to admit fault and accused the pony of trying to start something.

Discord stopped when Gilda slid into the wrong pony, sending a shy pegasus to the ground from the impact.

“Watch where you’re going, dweeb. You trying to start something, huh?” Gilda snapped, sending Fluttershy scrambling away in fear. I had seen enough, it was my turn now.

“You should be more polite to one so kind,” I whispered into the gryphon’s ear, letting her phase right through me as she whirled to face whoever had spoken.

“Alright, who said that?” Gilda demanded when she didn’t find any of the partygoers close enough.

“I did, what are you going to do about it?” I taunted into her other ear.

“Trying to start something? It won’t go well for you,” Gilda threatened, causing the ponies to move further away from her supposed psychotic break.

“There are many somethings that can be started, I know not what you refer to,” I continued from directly in front of her beak.

A savage peck passed through my head harmlessly, “Show yourself coward.”

“Thank you, that helps me understand. You either wish to fight or…” I ran my finger along the gryphon’s beak and around her head, not stopping until it reached the end of her tail, “...you seek a mate.”

“I’ll kill you for that,” Gilda screeched, sending all of the ponies scrambling for the exits as talons began cutting the air around the gryphon.

“You should’ve paid more attention gryphon, you’d know you cannot harm me. But such is the way of every fool that threatens the favored of the Everfree,” I sighed from inside Gilda’s beak, causing the panicked gryphon to jump back.

“By the isles, what are you talking about?” Gilda demanded.

“The pegasus, the yellow one, she is favored by the spirits of the Everfree Forest. She alone may walk our trees unmolested, she alone is granted our protection. It has been many winters since the last was chosen, but surely our legend survives? Surely our warning survives?” I prompted, making everything up as I went.

“Warning?” Gilda asked just as Dash figured out her role and crept up behind her friend.

“You will serve to rekindle it, there is no point in speaking to the dead,” I growled at a normal volume, positioning myself behind Gilda’s head. Dash took my cue and jerked the gryphon back by her hind legs while I bound her wings, resulting in the screaming gryphon being pulled backward out of the shop. The only evidence left behind was the deep furrows left by her talons.

Dash drug Gilda right through the center of town on her way to the forest, causing quite a scene as ponies stopped everything to watch the terrified gryphon go by with her hind legs in the air and talons digging into the dirt of the road. I maintained a cruel cackle as I followed along, looking to all the world as if Gilda was being hauled off by a ghost.

“The sacrifice is ready,” I hissed loudly as we neared the forest. The small crowd of concerned ponies following us gasped in alarm as they realized what they were witnessing.

“Noooooo, you stay. Learn,” I ordered when a few tried to flee.

“Somepony get the princess or Jekyll, they’ll know how to handle this fiend!” a member of the crowd shouted, though none were willing to risk leaving. Gilda watched them stare at her as she was lifted into the air and hung on invisible lines between two trees.

“Are you scared little gryphon? Afraid of the spirits? Afraid to die?” I asked, continuing my hissing.

“Yes okay, is that what you want to hear? I’m terrified of whatever you are and I don’t wanna die like a loser,” Gilda all but sobbed.

“Then don’t act like one,” I replied, dropping the act and Gilda. After a few seconds of mass confusion, Discord finally decided to return us to the visible spectrum. In doing so he revealed exactly how close I was to Gilda’s beak, “You can start by returning what you stole from me.”

“Motel,” Gilda managed, even more terrified now that there was an angry Jekyll in her face.

“You have family in the blood cult?” I asked suspiciously, referencing my name for the sect of the gryphon military that still believed I was a god. Just because one lousy emperor nine hundred and something years ago decides I might as well be a war god doesn’t mean it has to be a thing.

“No,” Gilda answered meekly.

“But you know of it,” I stated.

“We all do,” Gilda confirmed.

“And you know who I am?”

“Of course, lord Jekyll.”

“And yet you still thought robbing me was a good idea?” I continued, though I didn’t give her time to respond, “Bravo, I haven't seen bravery like that in far too long. Be proud gryphon, and go with honor. But please drop the attitude, it’s unbecoming.”

“Uh...okay,” Gilda muttered as she began wandering off, her mind still processing the rapid turns the past few minutes had taken. As enough pieces started to fit, she turned back and bowed, “Thank you for saving me lord Jekyll, honor upon your house.”

“Gilda, the spirit of the Everfree is something I made up,” I deadpanned.

“Then what dragged me out here?”

“Rainbow Dash, in exchanged for not getting shaved.”

“She said you two were close, you’d do that this close to winter?”

“Take a look at the left side of her face when she comes out of hiding,” I replied, actually getting a genuine smile out of the gryphon. ‘Just gotta speak the same language.’

“Glad I’m not on the chopping block then,” Gilda commented, her relief clear on her face.

“You will be unless you apologize to Shy, threatening her like that is more than I’ll allow at the best of times,” I warned, getting an instant reaction out of the chick. Gilda sprinted back into town and began her desperate search for the timid pegasus. Her speed clearly bolstered by the additional meaning to my words. With the gryphon gone, the collective attention of the crowd moved onto me, “I like gryphons, all you gotta do is make sure they know who’s in charge and they’ll be more loyal than a dog. Better in a scrape too.”

“Is there really a bald spot on my face?” Dash asked as she emerged from wherever she was hiding.

“Yes, I remember teaching you not to steal. It’ll be your mane next time,” I replied, making the prismatic mare’s ears droop.

“Sorry,” Dash apologized.

“I figure we’re even, just don’t make me repeat this lesson. I assume you know where Gilda is staying?” I prompted.

“Just that she’s rented a room, I don’t know which one,” Dash admitted.

“Shouldn’t be that hard, there’s only one motel and she’s the only gryphon in town,” I replied, already starting to walk towards where my property had been taken.

“You’re just going to break in?” Dash asked, shocked at such a thought.

“Duh, it’s my shit in there. Not like they could stop me anyway,” I reasoned.

“But that’s illegal,” Dash complained.

“I have eaten gryphons alive for being disrespectful, this is me being nice,” I rebutted, causing Dash to stop as she processed this information.

“But you said-” Dash began.

“Yep, I like gryphon culture. It’s built on honor and families, while the gryphons themselves are surprisingly similar to my people. Minus a few big attitude differences, like their initial arrogance. But what I’m talking about are duels, where a gryphon that doesn’t believe in your honor will deliberately insult you. In these cases the resulting fight is fast and short, leaving one or both parties dead. Dragging out the fight or surrendering is dishonorable to both, but exceptions are made for the other races. I myself don’t get these waivers and have to act as fast as I possibly can to kill my opponent, so I’d usually just grab them and shove them in my mouth,” I explained, showing off my teeth for emphasis and making a few other pedestrians cast nervous looks in my direction, “That said, there are ways around dueling someone you don’t want to kill. Getting even, mainly.”

“Dude, you scary sometimes,” Dash commented.

“I’m scary all the time, you’re just used to me,” I replied, laughing at the petulant look on Dash’s face

We continued making small talk as we approached Ponyville’s only motel, aptly named ‘The Ponyville Motel.’ Once there, it was a simple matter to get the room number out of the underpaid attendant.

“Two-oh-five, two-oh-six, here we are,” I announced, reaching for the handle.

“You weren’t kidding, you’re really going to break into Gilda’s room,” Dash commented, seeming offended.

“Not like I’m gonna go through her underwear drawer, I’m just going to retrieve my stuff,” I reassured the pegasus once again, though when I turned to face her she had already flown off.

“Whatever,” I said to myself as I fed tendrils into the lock and pushed the tumblers out of the way.


Perspective Change: Luna


I noticed a prismatic blur flying up from the motel, but didn’t think anything of it as I returned to gazing contentedly at the newly rebuilt town, it felt good to have everypony back in their homes and happily returning to their lives. It was truly a testament to their resilience that they could go about their day as though nothing had happened at all. Yes, everything was peaceful…

...Until that blur crashed into me at a ridiculous speed, sending me tumbling across the deck. I might’ve gone over the other side if I hadn’t crashed into an enforcer.

“Anypony get tha number offa that cart?” I asked in a daze.

“No ma’am, but we do have a name and the subject in custody,” the enforcer replied.

“Das good, Imma jus’ lay here until I only have four hoovsies. Das too many,” I declared, looking at my tangled legs in confusion.

“Princess, Jay’s going to break into Gilda’s room and steal his stuff back,” Rainbow Dash called as a pair of enforcers carried her past me.

“But das illegal, he cant do dat,” I slurred.

“Look I’m sorry for crashing into you, but we need to get over there before Jay gets the town guard sent after him,” Rainbow Dash insisted.

“Is okey, I’m startin’ ta feel better already,” I replied as I shook the cobwebs out of my head and climbed to my hooves, “You said Jay’s getting himself in trouble? Let’s go.”


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Got my stuff, no muss, no fuss, a nice clean break for once,” I commented as I relocked the door and started walking away. A loud pop behind me caused me to stop and look back, “Hey Luna, what’s up?”

“Were you going to take your cigarettes back by force? Thank goodness Rainbow told me in time to stop you. You can’t just hunt down the ponies that wrong you Jay, that’s what has sustained your poor reputation over the years. You should try being more forgiving, maybe you could even document it to remind yourself not to rush to action every time,” Luna ranted, gesturing wildly as she tried to push the ‘Magic of Friendship’ onto me. I just pulled out a cigarette and let her rant while I smoked it. When she didn’t get the hint I flicked the butt at her, bouncing it off her chest, “Ow, what was that for?”

“Gilda’s a gryphon, I can either take my stuff back or rip her spine out. I am being forgiving. ‘Sides, I already took my cigs and lighter back,” I replied.

“Oh.”

“All that’s left is to let her know that we’re even before she finishes writing her will,” I added, turning back towards the stairs.

“Why not fly there? Surely that would be faster,” Luna suggested before pressing a hoof to her face, “Shoot, I forgot Rainbow.”

“That’s actually the second slowest for me, I usually only fly when I don’t want to be noticed. Fastest is in the water, slowest is underground. But today, I feel like walking,” I declared with a slight chuckle at Luna’s admission, finding I was now being followed when I returned to my trek.

“Do you know where she is?” Luna asked after several minutes of walking.

“She’s probably finished apologizing to Shy, so no,” I replied.

“So what, we’re just going to wander around town until we find her?” Luna guessed.

“Yep,” I agreed.

“I thought you liked efficiency,” Luna pointed out.

“I do. I’m taking a relaxing stroll while keeping an eye out for the only gryphon in town at the same time,” I responded.

“Huh,” Luna muttered before falling silent. After a few more minutes, Luna moved up to walk next to me and seemed to be enjoying the peaceful walk.

Gilda found us before we found her, but stayed true to her honor and faced me like a gryphon, “Thank you for the time to prepare, shall we begin?”

“Over what slight?” I asked as I lit another cigarette and smiled. Gilda’s eyes widened at the sight and a smile crept across her beak as well.

“Thank you lord, honor upon your house,” Gilda said gratefully, bowing quickly as she moved to leave.

“On yours as well little one, but know that you are in my territory and I will not tolerate any fighting. Go on now, have some fun,” I replied with a shooing motion, sending the gryphon off with a smile and a new attitude.

“Have you ever considered becoming a diplomat? I’ve seen ‘professionals’ only serve to enrage guests from the other nations,” Luna inquired as we returned to wandering around the newly reconstructed Ponyville.

“I know more about their cultures than a pony ever will, comes with living there for decades at a time. It helps that I’m the last living lord of Gryphonia,” I responded.

“Yet another title?” Luna pressed.

“I owned a home, not anything big, but a nice little place. Had it paid off, kept up the land, it was nice. When Gryphonia sank into the ocean, all of the surviving property owners got lordships as compensation for their lost property and families. As they died off, it became a sort of celebrity status. A ‘wow, this guy lived in the capital’ type of thing. That was around five hundred years ago, but my lordship is still valid and honored,” I explained.

“Tia didn’t…” Luna trailed off.

“Earthquake, broke the whole shelf off. I tried to find a connection, but there wasn’t one. Shit just happens sometimes,” I continued somberly, “My dog got crushed under a beam when the house collapsed, at least she didn’t suffer.”

“I didn’t know you had a dog, I’m sorry to hear about that though,” Luna consoled, setting her wing on my shoulders, “Wait, if you’re a lord, why was the gryphon ambassador so callous with you?”

“There’s individual honor and national honor, the two don’t always reciprocate. I may be respected by a gryphon on the street, but that same individual may be required to act as the voice of the state. Her obligation to the isles was greater than her obligation to me, I understood and she knew that,” I explained.

“Gryphons are weird and complicated now,” Luna complained, scuffing the dirt as her time on the moon made itself known once more, “Maybe a more pleasant topic is in order. You said you had a dog, any others?”

“I’ve had a lot of dogs, some cats, and I stole a bird once. Never saw the time go by with me though, and I’ve buried them all. I guess you’re the only one who gets to shit on my floor through the centuries,” I listed, hoping my joke would lighten the mood.

“I think you’d get along well with a nocturne, if you can find one,” Luna suggested.

“A what now?” I asked.

“A nocturne, surely you’ve at least heard of them,” Luna insisted.

“No, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I reaffirmed.

“Oh, well they are pretty rare. They’re the opposite of a phoenix, being large bats that live in only the deepest caves. They’re fiercely intelligent and loyal to any who gain their favor, but are quick to action when they feel threatened. I have seen one take on an entire pack of timberwolves and win without so much as a scratch. Sound like anypony you know so far?” Luna tempted.

“No ponies I know match that description, but a bioform does,” I replied, liking this idea more and more.

“They’re immortal too. Not like phoenixes though, they don’t regenerate every few decades. They’re more akin to alicorns in that none have ever died of old age, though nocturnes can be killed with a silver dagger dipped in the blood of a dead minotaur,” Luna continued, though that last bit through me for a loop.

“Wait, back up. A silver dagger dipped in minotaur blood?” I confirmed.

“Yes, the blade must be between thirteen and eighteen inches long and the minotaur must be dead for at least two days but no longer than a week. Doesn’t this sound like the perfect pet for you? All we need to do is find a thestral to guide us to one,” Luna concluded. I had no idea what was happening anymore.

“The fuck is a thestral?” I asked, feeling like we were going in circles.

“Bat ponies?” Luna attempted.

“All the bloodsuckers I ever knew preferred to be called stalkers,” I corrected.

“No, not vamponies. Bat ponies. They’re born that way, not molded by an ancient curse. It’s a type of pegasus. Are they not known anymore either?” Luna insisted.

“No, I’ve never heard of them either,” I confirmed.

“They sided with me during the war, this is my fault,” Luna reasoned, “I can only hope they’ve gone into hiding instead of being wiped out by Tia.”

“Pretty sure I caught her ire soon enough to let them get away, and it’s Nightmare’s fault. I wish you’d stop blaming yourself for everything she did,” I insisted.

“I know you do, but it was my body and my fractured mind that caused so much suffering,” Luna argued.

“But not your will, and that’s what matters to me,” I began before glancing around to ensure we weren’t being eavesdropped on and dropping my voice, “Chin up, huh? It’s a dark time when the sexiest flanks in Equestria are too sad to strut proudly.”

Luna blushed at the compliment and quickly adjusted her gait to be more regal, “Thanks for the distraction, I needed that.”

“Anytime. But back on topic, where would we find a thestral?” I asked.

“A deep, dark cave, typically inside a mountain. Usually the same cave one might find a nocturne,” Luna answered.

“Any good in a fight?” I continued.

“Better than any three pegasi, what they lack in speed they make up for in maneuverability,” Luna replied.

“Good, we’ll have to track them down before the war begins. We’ll need their prowess,” I noted. Luna looked horrified.

“Absolutely not, I can’t drag them into two wars that could eliminate their species. They want to live peacefully, we should give them that,” Luna insisted.

“What if I gave them the option? Let them choose whether to remain separated or return to Equestria?” I offered.

“I can accept that, but I can’t be present nor can you mention any relationship with me. Doing so would pressure them into fighting,” Luna allowed.

“Deal. When we find them, I’ll go in alone and talk to their leader. If they don’t want to fight, they won’t have to,” I conceded.

“And while you’re there you’ll find a nocturne and bring it back, then you’ll have something to pet and feed,” Luna added, unconsciously pushing her head into the ear scratching I was giving her.

“I keep telling you, I already have something to pet and feed,” I stated.

“I am not a pet, but I am hungry. Twilight was telling me about something called a hayburger, why don’t we get some of those?” Luna suggested.

“Sure, I know a place down the street from Twilight’s,” I agreed.


Twenty Minutes Later


“It’s okay, just let it out,” I cooed as I held Luna’s hair out of the way. The mare herself was vomiting up five hayburgers into a bush.

“They aren’t as good coming up,” Luna groaned between retches.

“Few things are. Like bananas, they taste the same,” I offered, causing Luna to heave even harder.

“Don’t let me do that again, uggg,” Luna pleaded.

“I didn’t let you do anything, you’re a grown ass mare and I assumed you could make your own decisions,” I chided.

“I didn’t know they’d do that. Can’t you make me feel better or something?” Luna begged.

“You didn’t know five burgers would make you sick? Seriously? You have less stomach capacity than some fillies I’ve seen. But no, I won’t settle your stomach for you. If I coddled you at every turn, you’d get weak. This will pass and you’ll be stronger for it,” I rebutted.

“Can we do the whole learn to be a good leader thing tomorrow? It feels like my insides are at war with themselves,” Luna complained.

“That’s what happens when you binge through five servings with no stomach capacity worth mentioning,” I replied, still refusing to calm her raging stomach.

“That’s the tradeoff then? A toned figure or five burgers?” Luna asked through a mouthful of someone’s lawn.

“Probably safe to assume five will always be too many,” I advised.

“Okay, I think that’s all of it. Stars above, I feel awful,” Luna complained as she fell onto her side.

“Let’s get you some water, it’ll help you recover and wash the taste out of your mouth,” I suggested.

“Can you bring it to me? I don’t wanna move,” Luna requested.

“Nope. You got into this mess, you can get back out. I will help you up though,” I allowed, grabbing the prone alicorn around her middle and setting her on her hooves. Luna leaned on me the entire way back to the fast food restaurant and all but collapsed into her seat when we finally reached it.

“Could I have some, hurg,” Luna managed before having to hold back another round of sickness.

“Some water please. Take a lesson kiddos, even a princess can’t eat five burgers. Listen to your parents when they tell you it’s too much,” I announced, prompting all of the children present to seek approval before eating another bite and the cooks to breathe a sigh of relief that they weren’t being blamed.

There was a full pitcher of ice water on the table within seconds and Luna helped herself to three glasses before just taking the whole thing and drinking greedily.

“Gonna get waterlogged,” I warned. The pitcher returned to the table instantly, it’s former holder looking at it fearfully.

“Is nothing safe?” Luna wondered.

“Not in excess. Just slow down a bit and give your body time to absorb the water you’ve already had, then you can have more if you’re still thirsty,” I instructed, internally wondering how Luna had survived this long.

After a few minutes Luna’s stomach grumbled, causing her so smile sheepishly at the nearby waiter, “Could I get something light?”

“Light?” the waiter asked.

“Hayfries,” I clarified.

“Of course, any sauce?”

“It comes with sauce?” Luna asked.

“One of each then,” I answered with a hand to my face in sympathetic embarrassment.

“Right away,” the poor, confused waiter replied before scurrying off.

“What sauce?” Luna asked, turning towards me.

“A bunch of them. Heh, your newness to the current era is really showing right now,” I commented.

“Are ponies staring?” Luna asked, leaning in conspiratorially.

“They’ve been staring since we walked in the first time,” I replied.

“Now I feel foalish for not knowing these things,” Luna complained.

“It’ll come with time, you are a thousand years out of place,” I reasoned.

“It doesn’t seem to hinder me that much though, makes it more noticeable when it does,” Luna countered.

“That’s because you rarely leave Abaddon. The more you come down here and interact with the locals, the faster you’ll acclimate to how the world works now,” I advised.

“I’ll do that. Right now, in fact,” Luna declared, “You can go home if you want, I’ll be here with my little ponies for the rest of the day.”

“Tzu’s running the show right now and I want to see how he does without my corrections, so I’m going to be down here too,” I responded, “Plus there’s supposed to be some magic act in town tonight and I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean.”

“A magic act? Like this?” Luna asked, lifting the pitcher with her telekinesis.

“Dunno, that’s why I want to go. Pure curiosity,” I replied.

“Where did you hear about this? I didn’t notice anything,” Luna asked. I pointed at the window next to our booth, where the backside of a flier could be clearly seen and read, “Oh, right.”

“You coming too?”

“I think I will, but I’m going to wander for a while. I’ll meet you there,” Luna decided. Once Luna finished refilling her stomach to a more comfortable level, I paid and we went our separate ways.

After a few minutes of walking, I happened across a familiar gryphon, “Gilda.”

“L-Lord Jekyll, I wasn’t expecting to see you again,” Gilda greeted, bowing respectfully.

“It is by chance, I assure you. Tell me, little one, why do you walk alone?” I asked.

“I didn’t fight, but I snapped at the pink one. I thought she was messing with me and I yelled at her, now I think I’ve lost Rainbow as a friend,” Gilda answered honestly.

“The lone hunter will never compare to the pride,” I noted, “But that’s not all, is it?”

“I hide nothing elder, but...do you have anywhere more private?” Gilda requested. At my gesture, large jaws erupted from the ground and snapped shut around us.

“Gilda, meet Jeffrey. He essentially is Ponyville,” I introduced.

“Your secrets are safe with me,” Jeffrey promised.

“It’s better than in the street. Yeah, it’s more than losing Rainbow’s friendship...no, it is that. It’s confusing,” Gilda attempted.

“Do you know why I demanded you apologize to Fluttershy? She’s my ward, so are Rainbow Dash and Applejack. I won’t risk fighting between my wards, but I do know almost everything about them. I know Dash went through a curious phase, but never learned who she was with. I think I know now,” I prompted, using terms I knew the gryphon would understand.

“I never told anyone, but I’m not surprised she did. It was just fun for her, it didn’t mean anything. But I...I think I love her,” Gilda confessed.

“How old are you?” I asked, already having a rough estimate based on her size.

“Nineteen,” Gilda replied.

“Get out there and live your damn life, don’t let one failed relationship fuck up your future. If everyone pined over their teenage crush, the entire world wouldn’t be able to function. I’m not saying to forget, just don’t be held back. If you still feel this way in five years and Dash hasn’t settled down, I’ll step in and talk to her,” I ordered, shocking the gryphon with my bluntness.

“But-” Gilda began.

“But nothing. This is elder wisdom chick, directly from the last lord of Gryphonia,” I asserted.

“Of course lord, honor upon your house,” Gilda conceded submissively.

I sighed and tried a more gentle approach before the young gryphon could shut down completely, “Gilda, I’m trying to help you. I’ve seen too many sit in your position and grow to become weak, they feel wronged and can’t move on. If Dash doesn’t feel the same way, then the best thing you can do for the both of you is move on.”

“I-I need time to think, thank you elder,” Gilda responded with another polite bow, one that I returned.

“You are still young and full of life, go have fun,” I urged as the jaws around us receded into the ground, leaving no trace that they were ever there.

“Would it be acceptable if I walked with you, elder? I don’t know anyone else here,” Gilda requested.

“You may, but I’m going to a magic show in a couple hours. It’ll probably be lame,” I warned, getting a weak laugh out of the gryphon.


Two Hours Later


“They put up a stage? For this?” Gilda asked, “What kinds of dweebs are these?”

“Pompous ones, but it has drawn quite a crowd,” I replied as I looked around, finding Luna looking back at me and Shy sitting with her friends. Luna started making her way towards me while Gilda and I headed for Shy’s group.

We were all together a few seconds later and chatting idly while we waited for the show to start. Gilda kept looking at Dash but couldn’t find the nerve to speak, “Gilda, it’ll be easier if you start with an apology.”

My words cut through our chatter and everyone looked at the gryphon as she found her words, “I’m sorry for being a jerk, I didn’t know how to deal with what was happening and I snapped.”

“It’s okay silly filly, I knew you didn’t mean it,” Pinkie replied, bouncing forward to hug the uncomfortable gryphon. Gilda grimaced at the contact but still placed a talon on Pinkie’s back, returning the awkward hug.

“Are we cool?” Gilda asked, looking at Dash for approval.

“Yeah, we’re cool,” Dash agreed under the weight of my insistent glare.

“Good. Now that we’re all friends again, let’s see what a magic act means in Equestria,” I suggested as a light blue mare walked onto the stage.

As the show continued, I found I didn’t like this particular pony very much. The way she belittled her audience with her insufferable lies was in poor taste. I sent that Ursa limping home.

Spike kept nudging Twilight and urging her to step in, mirroring my poking of Luna. Though both refused to take action for the same reason, they didn’t want to show off. Even when this ‘Trixie’ challenged Twilight directly, she backed down.

Applejack wasn’t so timid, and was tied up in her own lasso for her trouble. Rainbow, enraged by the treatment of her friend, stepped up and did a portion of her acrobatics routine in her effort to outdo the showpony, but had to be rescued by Gilda when her own rainbow turned on her.

Between blinks of the boastful unicorn, the tall biped in the crowd was replaced by a black furred stallion with a red mane and a cutie mark of three jagged red slashes.

Rarity’s pathetic attempt at outdoing the other unicorn was barely worth mentioning but when Luna bristled at the personal attack on Twilight that followed, I decided it was my turn.

“Oh, another earth pony thinks he can outshine the great and powerful Trixie?” Trixie mocked, eagerly jumping onto her new target as I calmly walked up to the stage.

“Yeah, I got a challenge for ya,” I drawled.

“Are you going to keep Trixie waiting long? She has a show to perform after all,” the pony taunted.

“It’s my special talent, I’m challenging you to my favorite game. I’m the best in the world at it, so I know you’ll lose or give up,” I bragged, continuing my dumb redneck act.

Trixie actually got in my face as she tried to intimidate me, this was too perfect, “So what’s this game you’re about to lose? Trixie could use another title.”

My claws sprouted from my hoof as I grabbed the braggart’s head and cracked a wicked looking, fang filled, smile before growling my answer, “Who’s the better killer?”

A wet plop hit the stage as the showpony’s bowels emptied, she had clearly never seen a hint of danger in her life. Being in the claws of a predator was far more than she was prepared for.

“This is Equestria’s greatest and most powerful unicorn? I’ve known dead ponies with more skill than you, more bravery too,” I mocked, “Speak worm, are you going to admit defeat or die like every other challenger I’ve faced?”

Trixie was in tears by now, her bravado undone the second she saw my teeth, “I give up, you win, just please don’t kill Trixie.”

“Thought so, the cowardly always hide behind their pathetic lies. You’ve never even seen an Ursa Major, but you’re happy to take credit for MY work, my strength and skill. All you have are your lies and cruelty, I pity you,” I spat as I returned to my normal form and walked off the stage, leaving the sniveling showpony crying in a pile of her own shit.

“Dude, I didn’t like her either, but that was extreme,” Spike commented as I walked past.

“I agree, I really think you should apologize for that,” Luna added.

“No. I don’t care if she huddles in a corner for the rest of her short life, she pissed me off,” I snapped.

“Jay, just stop,” Luna ordered as I walked away. I wasn’t followed this time.

The streets were eerily quiet tonight, but I was fine with that. I decided to check on Tzu and Abaddon, they usually cheered me up, but knew in the back of my mind that Luna would return with some sob story about how hard it is to grow up in the city. Trixie’s attitude wasn’t my responsibility, her mental health wasn’t my problem, and her methods did nothing but anger me. I might’ve been cruel on the battlefield, but never mean spirited. My methods had a specific purpose, to weaponize my enemy’s fear and break them before they could threaten my troops. This ‘show’ was just mean for the sake of being mean.

“Sir,” Tzu greeted when I reached Abaddon’s foot.

“Hey Tzu, what are you doing down here?” I asked in return.

“Abaddon saw you walking back alone, so I hopped down to see why,” Tzu replied.

“I got pissed and scared the fuck out of some traveling braggart, the ponies didn’t take it well,” I explained curtly.

“I don’t understand,” Tzu commented.

“Me neither,” I agreed, spreading my wings as I prepared for the short flight to the deck.

“If all you did was scare the traveler, why would they be angry? Why only scare it anyway?” Tzu asked as we landed on the deck.

“I didn’t kill her because she was just annoying, she didn’t hurt anyone. As for why the others are mad, I have no idea. They’ll get over it though, they know it’s not in my nature to care about anything I’m not the cause of,” I reasoned as I walked over and fell into my chair, finally able to return my cigarettes and lighter to their pocket.

Luna teleported up as I was halfway through my first cigarette, “What the fuck?”

“She humiliated AJ and Dash, getting a taste for herself seemed just to me,” I responded between drags.

“Don’t you care about her at all?” Luna pressed.

“Should I?”

“YES!”

“Why?”

“Because it’s all she knows. Trixie was orphaned at a young age, she only knows how to get attention by bringing others down. Twilight’s working with her now, trying to both help her recover from the fright you gave her and teach her how to make real friends. This is exactly what I was trying to say earlier, your hostile attitude towards anything that you perceive as wrong does nothing but paint yourself as a villain,” Luna ranted.

“You missed the reason why it’s my problem,” I pointed out.

“Trixie has a family name,” Luna began.

“Good for her, lots of unicorns do,” I snarked.

“It’s Lulamoon,” Luna finished, making it my problem. I knew that name, it was burned into my memory as the tipping point in my relationship with Gamma-one-two. That name marked the day I realized I couldn’t trust one of my favorite enforcers anymore.

“Damnit Fang,” I swore, “He just had to kill the mother of that insufferable bitch and make her feelings matter.”

“That’s right, now get down there and apologize,” Luna ordered.

“Really, like, right now? While she’s still pissing herself over the last time she saw me?” I confirmed. One bright flash later, I was in the library, “Well, that was rude.”

“Jekyll, get in here. Quick, before she sees you,” Twilight hissed quietly, her head sticking out of the kitchen. I looked around the library as I obeyed and found the blue unicorn lying by the window, her eyes thankfully closed for the moment.

“How is she?” I whispered once I was safely hidden in the kitchen.

Twilight’s horn flashed and an indigo shimmer appeared on the walls briefly before she spoke, “Not well. Her past issues are more than I know how to handle and her new phobia of you has her jumping at shadows, you may have crippled her with that stunt.”

“And I wouldn’t care if one of mine hadn’t killed her mom,” I replied.

“Did her grandmother poison your dog or something, what the hay?” Twilight shot back.

“Don’t think so. Any way I can help?” I asked.

“If you show her the same kindness you show Luna, that might ease her fear. Catrix knows more about psychology than I do, she might be able to help her move past her childhood trauma and public humiliation. And I’m happy to help her make friends,” Twilight listed.

“Then I’ll do what I can to lessen her fear,” I promised.

I peeked into the main room before creeping in and silently moving to sit next to Trixie’s position on the cushioned window ledge, content with just sitting there until she noticed my presence. I could see Trixie’s eyes darting around in panic even before their lids opened, though both her eyes and the rest of her body froze when they landed on me.

“Twilight tells me you’ve developed a phobia of me, that’s ridiculous. A phobia is an irrational fear, any level of fear regarding me is only sensible. And yet despite this, I’m not going to hurt you. Not one hair on your head. I didn’t know before, but I actually owe you for something one of my children did a long time ago. So instead I’m offering you my protection and a home here,” I began, wary of the likely harsh reply I’d be receiving.

Trixie remained frozen for a long moment before finding her voice, “How’s the rent?”

I nearly gave Trixie a heart attack with my booming laughter, “I’ve got a tenant paying one bit a month, how’s that sound?”

“O-Okay, and you’re not keeping me around as a snack right?”

“No.”

“Can I still do my show?” Trixie asked hopefully.

“Not until Twilight approves your lineup, I won’t allow anything mean spirited in my town,” I stated firmly, though I kept my voice as easygoing as possible.

“When you say protection…” Trixie trailed off.

“Nothing threatens my town and lives to warn the next fool, you’re sitting in the safest place in Equestria. You would get the same level of protection as any other pony,” I promised.

“I’ll think about it, thanks for not eating me,” Trixie replied.

“I try not to. This side of you is nice, you should show it more often. The third person thing got old really quickly,” I advised.

“It’s actually annoying for me too, but the Manehattan ponies loved it,” Trixie agreed.

“Leave it to those snobs to enjoy seeing each other ridiculed,” I sighed, shaking my head in disappointment.

“TWILIGHT COME QUICK, THERE’S AN URSA RAMPAGING THROUGH TOWN!” Spike shouted in panic as he sprinted into the library as fast as his short legs could carry him.

“Son of a bitch, I just rebuilt this fucker,” I complained as I stormed outside, fully prepared to show off my kind of skill for the showpony, “ABADDON! THIS ONE’S MINE!”
> Chapter 23: Complications
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The thin layer of dirt that separated Jeffrey from the surface never knew what hit it. Tendrils shot from each foot to grab and propel me ever faster, causing much of the soil to be thrown back with every step. The panicked townsponies proved no obstacle as they were hopped or dodged with a negligible loss of speed, bringing me closer and closer to this new threat.

Only to stop dead in a spray of fine gravel and torn tendrils when a certain purple unicorn teleported directly in front of me, “Twilight.”

“Jekyll? Wow, you got here fast,” Twilight commented.

“Yes I did, I outpace Dash at a full sprint. I also weigh three quarters of a ton. Could you do me a favor and calculate the damage that would occur to a unicorn if it were to teleport less than a foot in front of me?” I prompted.

“Well, you could just assume the result would be similar to a freight train traveling downhill…” Twilight mused before reaching her conclusion, “There would be little left of that unicorn.”

“That’s you,” I clarified with a gentle pat to her head as I walked around her and took off again.

Twilight, unable to keep up otherwise, continued teleporting after me as I ran towards the sounds of my brand new buildings being crushed. I finally found my prey as I pivoted sharply around a corner,  absently noting that it was either a small Ursa Major or a large Ursa Minor. Though most of my attention was on the little detail that it was charging in my direction.

“Finally, I was starting to think you’d never stop. I can’t do that forever Jekyll, I need to take breaks occasionally or I’ll risk burnout,” Twilight complained as she caught up, so intent on lecturing me that she didn’t notice she had wandered into the Ursa’s path.

“You’re getting a helmet tomorrow,” I promised as I stepped over the unicorn and braced myself for impact.

The cosmic bear’s paw moved to slap both of us out of the way, but may as well have struck a mountain for all the effect it had. I had burrowed tendrils deep into Jeffrey to hold me in place, my body locked to protect the mare behind me.

As the bear looked at its paw in confusion, I exploited its distraction to analyze my opponent in more detail. It was young, that was clear now, an adult would’ve recognized the show of strength and retreated. Fluttershy would’ve noticed this too, no killing. No obvious motivation for coming here, no minotaur made harness to coerce it into attacking, it seemed more lost than anything. I could use that, I just needed to make it angry enough to chase me back into the forest.

I was now faced with a new question, how does one anger a giant celestial bear?

“Hey furball, all the cool kids start forest fires!” I shouted. All I received in return was a pause as the bear regarded me in confusion.

“I already ate all the picnic baskets, you get nothing!” I tried, getting as much of a reaction. If nothing else, the Ursa seemed content to stare at me instead of demolishing more of my town.

“What are you doing?” Twilight hissed.

“Pissing it off so I can lead it home,” I replied quietly.

“That’s idiotic, you’ll never make it angry like that. It can’t understand you,” Twilight argued.

“Hey! You up there with the face! Yo momma’s so fat, when Goldilocks tried eating her porridge, she slipped and fell in!"

It laughed. Ponyville’s most recent attacker was laughing at my efforts to antagonize it, even clapping its paws in amusement.

“I guess it can understand,” Twilight conceded, “Surprising, given the relatively small size of its brain.”

“Twilight,” I warned as the giant bear lost its humor.

“It should have a brain the size of a pony to go with that body, but Ursas only have a brain the size of an average fox,” Twilight continued, unaware that she was actually managing to anger the bear or that it was stalking forward once more.

“Time to go!” I announced loudly as I scooped the bookish mare into my arms and took off running, keeping just ahead of Twilight’s new enemy as I angled all three of us towards the trees.

“I can’t see, what’s going on?” Twilight asked over the thundering of both my heavy footfalls and those of our pursuer.

“You pissed it off. Learn some situational awareness,” I snapped as we entered relative safety of the trees.

“It’ll still be able to smell me, what are we going to do?” Twilight pressed, becoming aware of exactly what kind of position she was in.

“Get as far away from civilization as possible, then do whatever’s necessary to make it back off,” I answered grimly.

Twilight fell silent as I continued carrying her through the forest, her only complaints being silent grimaces every time I was forced to weave around anything. The Ursa never let up, doggedly following us further and further into the depths of the Everfree. Eventually I slowed and set my passenger down before turning to face the Ursa Minor predator to predator.

I reassigned more biomass to cognitive processing, allowing me to think and plan much faster as my perception of time slowed significantly. Bog to the east, cliff face to the west, uphill north, nothing south but my opponent. I didn’t need the elevation advantage that would come with moving further north, this spot would be perfect. Best part, no Fluttershy to nag at me for making it bleed.

I had one last trick to even out this fight. My mass weighed in at one thousand five hundred pounds, yet my size remained the same as when I weighed a couple hundred. Dropping my density, I expanded my form and grew until I was seeing even with the tops of the trees.

I grinned when the Ursa charged through the last of the intervening trees and slid to a stop, recognizing that the tables had turned. Claws measuring in yards extended from my fingers as I assumed a ready stance, inwardly hoping the star patterned bear would back down.

Fight or flight. Two options. Flip of the coin. It pounced, meeting my iron hard fist with the bridge of its nose and snarling through the resulting nosebleed.

“Back away young one, you need not die tonight,” I warned as I brandished my claws once more.

The bear charged again and was again repelled, though now sporting a missing ear and a new bruise.

“I take no pleasure from this, I beg you to leave in peace. You are too young to die this way, but attack again and I will not hold back,” I threatened.

My enemy charged one final time, out of pride or anger I could not know. I felt my movements become strained as my claws closed around the Ursa’s throat, seeing the magenta aura encompass both myself and the foolish bear.

“No,” Twilight declared, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t sob nor scream, her tone was even and volume no louder than normal, “Nopony dies tonight.”

I felt my considerable weight lift off the ground along with the Ursa, my fingers soon forced to open and release their hold on my enemy’s life. As we were pushed apart by the immensely powerful telekinesis, I stole a look at the mare behind it. Though Twilight’s eyes were closed, the twin shades of light still found gaps to shine through. The ground on Twilight’s left was bathed in the same indigo hue as her aura, while her right side was a shade of pink that matched the stripe in her mane.

I didn’t fight the telekinetic hold as I was held in place, curious as to what would happen next. Twilight’s knowledge of Ursas seemed to be in the fore of her mind as she used techniques native to Ursa Major mothers to rock the gargantuan bear to sleep and set it in a clearing.

Then it was my turn to become the mare’s focus, though I was not handled like the young bear and was simply set back where I had been standing.

“No killing,” Twilight ordered sternly before her eyes lost their glow, rolled into the back of her head, and were carried to the ground with the rest of her as she lost consciousness.

“Okay then, that’s one for the stories,” I commented, stunned by the turn of events.

“I’m inclined to agree,” another voice replied. Turning my oversized head, I found Luna, Rainbow Dash, and, of all ponies, Ditzy sitting on a nearby cloud.

“That was so bucking awesome,” Dash added breathlessly, as though she was afraid speaking would ruin the moment.

“Aww, there was a wing in my way. I missed it,” Ditzy complained.

“My apologies, the fight appeared to be nearing a conclusion I didn’t think you’d want to see,” Luna apologized.

“You saw all of that?” I asked as I returned my density to normal levels and used my wings to retain my altitude.

“Oh yes, I followed you in case you needed help and Rainbow here said I could be her sidekick and tagged along as well,” Luna replied.

“I was already here, I sorta got lost,” Ditzy admitted.

“I’ll grab Twilight and push you all back, we should get her into a bed after that stunt,” I said before dropping out of the sky.

Twilight was still comatose when I reached her, though that wasn’t particularly surprising. Lifting her comparatively negligible weight and pushing her halfway into my chest like I was an organic papoose, I made ready to take all of them back to the safety of Ponyville.


Ten Minutes of Repetitive Exclamations About Twilight’s Power Later


“We get it Dash, we were there,” I groaned.

“But it was just sooo awesome!”

“Yes, why don’t you tell Pinkie all about it so she can start planning Twilight’s ‘Congrats On Being A Badass’ party,” I suggested, seeing Dash fly off before anyone who actually blinked naturally could do so.

“I can take Twilight home, you have a look I doubt Trixie would react well to,” Luna offered.

“I’m hunting idiots,” I replied as I pulled Twilight free and handed her off.

“Dinky's probably wondering where I am, I’ll see you all later,” Ditzy excused before flying off as well, leaving me alone in the street with little to go on as to why an Ursa Minor was rampaging through town. Except for two little unicorns that took a liking to Trixie’s boasting, they might’ve known something.

“I smell dust, the kind that never really leaves feathers that have seen the isles,” I commented no no one visible.

“I wasn’t hiding elder, I just…” Gilda attempted, trailing off at my raised hand.

“It’s fine, do you know why that Ursa was in town?” I asked.

“Short dweeb and tall dweeb thought they could get Trixie to prove you wrong if they managed to lure an Ursa into town,” Gilda reported.

“Figured they’d have something to do with this,” I groused, “You weren’t hunting them were you?”

“They started talking about it when you stormed off, so I followed them to see if they were serious. I never even thought about eating them in your territory,” Gilda responded, sounding almost offended.

“Glad we’re on the same page. You can stay aboard Abaddon if you like, save your room and food money,” I offered, “I have manticore sausage…”

“Is this Abaddon your keep?” Gilda asked.

“Yes, my walking fortress of flesh, claws, and witty one-liners. Say ‘Hi’ Abaddon!” I clarified.

“Hello,” Abaddon rumbled in greeting.

“Mom always said the best room is a free room, same for grub too. I’ll check it out, but I’d only planned on being here for a couple more days,” Gilda agreed.

“That’s fine, but you are still a guest in my territory and should be treated properly. The one with the slightly larger head is Tzu, he can give you the rundown of how everything works,” I replied.

“Thank you, honor upon your house lord,” Gilda accepted with a polite bow.

“On yours as well little one,” I bid, sending the gryphon on her way with a friendly wave. Internally, I was still puzzling over why she seemed so familiar. With nothing else to distract me, I made my way towards the nearer of the two houses that held my targets.

An auburn mare with an image of a hair pick on her flank opened the door at my knock, “Mister Jekyll, can I help you?”

“Right Style, isn’t it? I have something I need to discuss with you and your family, please follow me,” I requested, though it wasn’t a request and the hairdresser before me clearly knew that.

“Sure, give me a moment to find little Snips’ jacket,” Right Style excused before abruptly slamming the door. I could hear the sounds of a young colt being interrogated for a full five minutes before the entire family appeared at the door, looking as though they were completely innocent. All except for Snips’ older sister.

“I don’t get why I have to go, Snips is the one who wrecked the town. Like, why should I get killed for his stupidity. This is so unfair,” the filly complained, getting a razor sharp glare from her mother.

“I never said I would harm any of you, I said we had things to discuss,” I corrected.

“About the Ursa…” Right began, trailing off as she tried to figure out how to apologize for so much damage.

“I’d like to have Snails and his family present as well before we begin,” I responded, quieting the nervous mare. After a few minutes of walking, we arrived at the significantly more run-down home of my other target.

This time it was a turquoise stallion with a mark depicting a worm that answered the door, instantly assaulting my nostrils with the scent of old beer, “Watchu want?”

“Hey Worms, need you and the fam to shut up and learn a thing,” I greeted.

“Buck you, come on in,” the stallion replied with a lazy wave of his hoof. I liked Worms and his family, they were honest and got along well with each other. Where Right Style kept a clean home and messy family, Worms did the opposite. A little crass after a few drinks, but nobody’s perfect and even then he meant well.

“Hi Snips,” Snails greeted with a friendly wave.

“Hi Snails,” Snips replied, sounding much less enthusiastic.

“Couch has rats, sit on the floor. Any a ya wanna beer? They’re a bit warm, but fresh from last Tuesday,” Worms offered, getting stunned looks from the other family, “Nah? Kay then, you lot can buck off to sober-ville then.”

“Ya gotta twist my leg, don’t ya? Fine, gimme one of your old ass beers,” I placated, knowing this language quite well. Worms retrieved a dirty bottle from the case that was holding up his kitchen table and tossed it my way before flopping onto the rat infested couch with a fresh one of his own. Three kicks later and the rats had even settled down.

“How do you ponies live like this? It’s filthy,” Right complained.

“Shut it, we like ‘homey’ more,” Worms shot back.

“This isn’t the time for you two to start fighting, it’s time for me to grill both of you for wrecking my town,” I snapped, silencing both before another round could start.

“But I didn’t do anything, Snips will be punished accordingly,” Right attempted.

“Didju just throw your colt under the train? I ain’t movin or fightin Jekyll, you can kill me if’n you want. Hurt my boy and I’ll kill ya though, don’t know how but I will,” Worms offered.

“Both of you just shut up. Right Style, your focus on appearance over quality has poisoned your entire family to the point that it is affecting the rest of the town, fix it. Worms, I am genuinely amazed Snails hasn’t died of dysentery twelve times by now. That’s shitting yourself to death, by the way. Clean. Your. House. Other than that, teach the boy how to judge character better. That goes for both of you, their belief in Trixie’s bragging led to this mess. Snips, Snails, Trixie had never seen an Ursa before, I drove it away from Hoofington. She lied and you believed her, that’s fine. Putting everypony in town in danger to redeem her wasn’t fine, not to mention how you risked your own lives twice over at the same time. Once by the Ursa, once by me. You are damn lucky I’m not as mean as they say,” I scolded.

“But-” Right attempted.

“I am so fucking tired of that word. But this. But that. Always with the excuses I couldn’t care less about. Keep your problems from being my problems and we’ll get along fine. Got it?” I snapped.

“Yep,” Worms replied, looking at his son thoughtfully. I imagined he had a good lesson about character forming in that half-drunk head of his.

“How can you stand there and blame me for this? I already said I’d punish Snips, what more do you want?” Right demanded. It struck me then, she really didn’t understand why I was lecturing her.

“Right Style, you want to know why I’m blaming you? Because Snips has learned how to live his life from you. Your refusal to accept responsibility for anything will negatively affect him later in life, that much I know. From what I’ve seen here tonight, Worms has done more for your child than you have,” I explained, my tone deathly calm as I delivered the reality check. Right Style looked horrified at the thought of her son hanging around this house, “I swear on Luna’s mane I will spay you right here and now if you complain about the mess.”

“You can’t-” Right gasped.

“I am the best fucking surgeon on this planet, do not test me Style,” I threatened. Once I was convinced the haughty mare was sufficiently cowed, I continued, “I’ll give you two options: either you can pay for the damages, or become a team. That means Style here comes over every day and cleans this mess while Worms repairs the damage done to Snips and...I don’t actually know your name.”

“Fade,” the filly replied.

“While worms repairs the damage done to Snips and Fade. Neither of you would be allowed to interfere with the other and are highly encouraged to thank each other every day,” I continued.

“Fine by me, long as she don’t throw out my cap collection. I know they’ll be worth somethin’ to somepony someday,” Worms allowed.

“You expect me to clean up after this alcoholic? How much would it cost in damages?” Right Style pressed.

“Six hundred and twenty five for local contractors,” I estimated based on Jeffrey’s input.

“Done, can I go now?” Right Style requested.

“That’s in thousands ya twit,” Worms corrected.

“Is there a third option?” Right Style asked weakly.

“I evict you both,” I answered.

“I’ll do it, I’ll clean up this mess,” Right relented before going stiff and looking at me in terror.

“That one’s free,” I allowed.

“Finally the yappin’s over, you want that beer now?” Worms offered, holding a bottle out for Right.

“One more for your collection, right?” Right conceded as she accepted the drink.

“Huh? No gal, caps as in hats. Got a few dozen in special preservation boxes in the attic, real rare ones too. I even enchanted the boxes meself, top notch,” Worms clarified.

“I guess this means we’ll get to hang out more often, best punishment ever,” Snips declared.

“Your parents will see to you two,” I warned, deciding that my job was done and leaving the adults to bicker over the details.

The walk back to Abaddon allowed me to revisit Twilight’s actions in the forest, more specifically the way she brought that monumental amount of power to bear and still molded it in a way that matched her studious nature. She definitely had my attention now.

Tzu nodded politely as I landed on the deck, seeing my deep thoughts and opting not to interrupt. I returned the nod as I passed him on my way to my room. Luna would know more, this was her field and her student.

I openly laughed at the sight that greeted me when I opened the door. Luna was laying on her side, propped up on the elbow of her right foreleg. Her hind legs were as straight as they could get, sitting comfortably out of the way as she beckoned me forth with her eyes and left hoof. However, the part I found funny was that she was wearing one of Catrix’s dresses, covering her from neck to hoof and extending several inches past her hind legs.

“What’s so funny?” Luna asked, her mood audibly souring.

“I get the pose, I do, and it’s great, but why are you wearing one of Cat’s dresses? How did you even get in here with it on?” I countered, still chuckling.

“With great difficulty on her promise that the fun part would be taking it off,” Luna replied.

“That outfit I made you would work better,” I pointed out, “It actually fits your shape.”

“This is rather uncomfortable in some spots, I’ll try that next time,” Luna agreed, letting her unspoken question hang in the air.

“I suppose Twilight can wait until morning,” I relented as I walked forward.


The Next Morning


The dawn found ponyville completely repaired, every building with nary a scratch and every paw print erased from the roads. Luna and I had opted to sit on the edge of the deck following her morning ritual of swapping the sun and moon.

“Do you think Twilight knows how she did that last night?” I asked.

“Not consciously, but I’m sure she does deep down,” Luna replied.

“That’s good,” I commented, content with watching the rest of the town awaken.

“Applejack’s opening her stall a bit early today,” Luna noted after several minutes of silence.

“Might be trying to cash in on any food losses from yesterday,” I guessed.

“I’ll ask,” Luna responded before disappearing. I saw her reappear in the market directly in front of the stall in question and lean in towards Applejack to ask her question. The bewilderment on the other mare’s face could be seen clearly, even from my distance, as she furiously shook her head in denial. Luna nodded and, I assumed, made her apologies before teleporting back onto the deck, “She woke up early and didn’t want to sit around.”

“Sounds like her,” I agreed.

“Then why did you suggest such a thing? Was your true intention to get me into the market such that I would be struck with inspiration the like of which hath never been seen within these town limits? Then I bear news, it worked. I shall venture forth and hold night court in thine market under mine sister’s sun, because fuckith thine rules,” Luna raved, shaking with excitement. I couldn’t tell if she was using her old way of speaking sarcastically or not.

“I can’t say dumb shit without it being a thing?” I countered, but Luna was already gone, “At least this ought to be funny.”

Taking flight, I glided down to the market and silently perched on one of the rooftops just in time to hear Luna asking Applejack if she could borrow a wooden box.

“Ah guess, here ya go princess,” Applejack allowed with a shrug, understanding what was happening less than I did.

“Thank you. On my honor, I shall have it back to you in one piece by the end of the day,” Luna promised. I stalked closer as Luna carried her box to a gap in the ring of merchants and sat upon it. After a moment to compose herself, she spoke one more, “Citizens of Equestria, the Night Court is hereby open!”

“It’s eight in the morning,” Roseluck pointed out from her own stall.

“I have found no law that requires the Night Court to be at night,” Luna rebutted.

“Isn’t it in the name though? ‘Night Court,’ kinda implies the time,” another mare pressed.

“Are you all going to complain about how convenient this is or make your pleas to the crown?” Luna countered, silencing any remaining opposition.

The first one to step forward was a very familiar auburn mare, “I have a request, I’d like to be let out of a deal.”

“What is this deal then? If it is judged unfair, then I may be able to do as you say,” Luna prompted professionally.

“I was forced to clean the home of a belligerent alcoholic while he raises my children. When I say it like that, it sounds like a bad marriage. We’re not married,” Right Style explained.

“I feel like there is more to this, why was this imposed on you?” Luna asked suspiciously.

“Because my son was one of the colts that brought the Ursa into town last night,” Right Style admitted. ‘Progress!’

“Then I assume it was Jekyll that coerced you into this position? I often find that he has both a reason for everything he does and a lesson hidden within each trial. I shall uphold this arrangement until you have learned that lesson to my satisfaction, then you shall be freed from it,” Luna declared.

“But how am I supposed to know what this ‘lesson’ is? I don’t want to pick up empty bottles for the rest of my life,” Right Style complained.

“You will know in time,” Luna foretold. Though her demeanor was hard, she did not speak unkindly.

Right Style found a turquoise hoof on her shoulder when she attempted to continue, “C’mon Right, ‘fore you embarrass both of us.”

Luna waited until they were out of sight before summoning the next petitioner, “That was interesting, but we must leave them to their lives and move along. Who’s next?”

“Hello Princess, would you be a dear and tell my little sister that it’s improper to try for a dragon riding cutie mark?”

“Uh, hi Princess. Sorry, I get nervous talking to mares. That’s actually what I wanted to ask about…”

“Hi Luna, I just finished another friendship report. Would you like me to read it here or wait until later?”

“Could you help me with this jar? I swear it’s sealed shut with dark magic or something.”

“Can’t you dweebs solve your own problems?”

On and on it went, until every single pony in town had spoken to the diarch about some minor issue or another. Luna spotted me after an hour and occasionally stole frustrated glances my way, glances I returned with exaggerated eye rolls of my own. It quickly became a game to see who would run out of patience first.

“Boy howdy Princess, Ah was startin’ ta think they’d never quit,” Applejack commented as she packed up the few remaining boxes and baskets she had hauled into town this morning.

“Jay, I’m stealing your chair next time, this was murder on my poor plot,” Luna complained.

“Nobody steals my chair,” I replied as I dropped to the ground next to the pair, “I’ll make you one first.”

“That would wor-ahhaha cramp, ooh that hurts,” Luna attempted before awkwardly limping sideways in her attempt to stretch the sore muscle in her hind leg.

“Hold still, which side is it on?” I asked as I moved to keep Luna from tipping over.

“Left hind leg, front side,” Luna replied through gritted teeth. She sighed in relief as I carefully massaged and pulled the muscle back to normal, “Thanks.”

“Call it a perk of keeping your doctor around all the time,” I joked.

“If only I got sweets for being good like all the other fillies,” Luna mock lamented, finding a cupcake and smiling Pinkie Pie in front of her an instant later, “Uh...thank you?”

Pinkie just smiled wider and sprinted off, leaving a confused Luna holding the cupcake as though it was going to bite her.

“Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie,” I commented.

“Eeyep,” Applejack agreed with a laugh.

“She was not there a moment ago...this hurts my brain,” Luna complained.

“Don’t question it, down that way lies madness,” I advised.

“For you perhaps, but I’ve been using magic for millennia. This mystery should be easy to solve,” Luna declared, taking my warning as a challenge, “Where’s Twilight? I shall require a research assistant.”

Applejack and I shared an amused look for a moment, “A hundred bits says she destroys half the town.”

“You’re a better gambler than that AJ, Luna will tire herself out long before she goes too crazy,” I replied.

“Fine, but if she comes back rantin’ ‘bout eternal night, don’t come cryin’ ta me,” Applejack shot back.

“How else am I supposed to deal with Nightmare then? It was down to the wire last time and I was just there to stall her. Without the Elements to finish the job...I’d have to kill her, I really don’t want to do that,” I asked, my mood souring at the offhoof comment.

“Aw come on Jay, Ah didn’t mean it like that. Me and the girls would be there faster than ya could believe, Ah was just sayin’ that Ah don’t wanna hear any whinin’,” Applejack placated.

“I get that, but it put the thought in my head. If you six had messed up at all…” I trailed off.

“We didn’t, no point frettin’ over what coulda’ happened,” Applejack replied firmly.

“Good advice, thanks. Here, let me get that box,” I offered as I moved to help the farm mare pack up her stall for the day, somehow ending up dragging her cart back to the farm for her as well.

“Hi Mister Jekyll!” A small voice called as we approached.

“Hey Bloom!” I replied, growing an arm to wave with.

“Ah haven’t told Bloom ‘bout you yet,” Applejack confessed quietly as her little sister came running over without a hint of fear on her little face.

“Any reason why?” I asked curiously, making no attempt to lower my voice.

“Ah meant to, but it never came up,” Applejack responded, seeming disappointed in herself.

“Don’t worry about it, that’s happened to me plenty of times,” I consoled.

“What didn’t come up?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I lived just outside of town for a long time, you knew me as Best Defense,” I revealed.

“I thought so, you used a lot of the same words. Ya know, the ones I’m not allowed to repeat,” Apple Bloom replied.

“I wasn’t trying very hard,” I commented at Applejack’s raised eyebrow.

“That get’s me wonderin’ why you’ve been lookin’ after us fer so long,” Applejack prompted.

“Your family has always been good to me, ever since Apple Seed sent me to the kingdom. Every time I’ve needed help, they were there, every time I didn’t know how to keep going, one of them had a life lesson to give me hope. I owe your ancestors a lot, looking after you three is a drop in the bucket at this point. Well, that and the farm,” I explained.

“What about the farm?”

“Ask Granny about the taxes, ought to give you a hint,” I teased.

“So you hang out with us because of what our an..anne-cess-torres did? Not because you like us?” Apple Bloom asked sadly.

“Shoot, I missed a few things. C’mere Bloom,” I instructed, stopping and kneeling to address the filly, “Never doubt that I like you and your brother and sister, but it takes a bit to get me to do anything. I realized a long time ago that if I did whatever I wanted, the world would change in ways I didn’t like. I help my friends and repay my favors, but other than that I try not to do anything. Your ancestors keep doing me favors even now because in repaying my debt to them, I got to meet a two wonderful little fillies and a colt that has spoken to me twice in twenty years.”

“What about Granny?” Apple Bloom pressed, her mood already back to normal.

“That overgrown bucket of glue burned down half my cabin trying to get her cutie mark, it was years before I managed to recreate the books that were lost,” I griped, much to the amusement of the others.

“Sounds a mite bit familiar,” Applejack giggled, looking at her sister suspiciously.

“But I haven’t burned anythin’ sis, whatcha lookin’ at me like that for?” Apple Bloom protested.

“Yet,” Applejack and I added at the same time.

“But-But-I haven’t done anythin’. That’s not fair,” Apple Bloom insisted.

“Yet,” Applejack repeated. Apple Bloom looked ready to cry from the teasing until Applejack added, “Ah know how bad Ah was durin’ those years, figure you’ll be ‘bout the same. Can’t blame a filly for getting a little ribbin’ in early, can ya?”

“You’ll laugh about this when you’re older, every pony does, and every pony gives the next generation grief for what they’ll do trying to get that mark,” I agreed.

“It’s still not fair, I haven’t done anythin’ bad,” Apple Bloom complained.

“Aside from summoning a demon and who knows what else,” I pointed out, making Apple Bloom’s head whip around to face me, “Yeah, I know.”

“A demon? Like that Catrix fella? Bloom, Ah don’t want you learnin’...things from that floozy,” Applejack admonished.

“Worse, they summoned a ripper. Just like the ones I summoned to fight back against the spiders. They’re town killers, nearly unstoppable to a pony, ever craving the screams of their victims. She’s damn lucky it was Harry she found, he’s the most mild mannered of the bunch,” I explained, causing Apple Bloom’s ears to droop lower with every word.

“Ah see,” Applejack replied neutrally, her tone dead but promising a punishment for the ages.

“Don’t be too hard on her, Har…….Nah, screw that. Bloom, that redefines reckless, what could any of you have been thinking? Opening a portal to Tartarus of all places, putting the whole town in danger. Do you have any idea what it takes to stop a ripper?” I reprimanded.

“No,” Apple Bloom answered meekly.

“Luna or Celestia, if they get very lucky or have a few dozen guards to sacrifice. Or me. It takes my ability to ignore their claws and teeth to survive long enough to send them back. Next time you or any of your friends think it might be a good idea to do something remotely like that, you had better make damn sure I’m in the room and watching every move. Or don’t do it, ya know, like a sane pony,” I ranted.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” Apple Bloom apologized quietly.

“Six generations of your family say that you will. Just tell one of us next time so we can keep the damage to a minimum, it’ll keep your punishments light as well,” I instructed the filly.

“Yes Pa-” Apple Bloom slipped before a loud throat clearing interrupted her. Looking up, I found that Mac had walked over while Applejack and I were lecturing his little sister.

“Hey Mac, what’s up?” I asked politely, inwardly wondering how such a big stallion could move so quietly.

“Ah know how much ya done fer us, and Ah can’t judge ya after everythin’, but ya ain’t our Pa. He’s gone and nopony’s takin’ his place. Ya done right by us and Ah won’t stop ya, but jus’ know that,” Mac grumbled.

“First time I get more than one word out of you in a decade and it’s an ass chewing? I didn’t know you loved me so much,” I replied, forcing a single drop of water out of my eye.

“Bloom, grounded. Mac, don’t be a jerk. Jekyll, also grounded,” Applejack declared, her tone brooking no argument. Didn’t stop me though.

“I’m grounded? How and from what?” I pressed.

“Ah don’t know yet, but ya are,” Applejack insisted.

“That Apple stubbornness won’t help you here, you have nothing to take from me,” I replied.

“Fine, but no makin’ trouble,” Applejack ordered.

“Does this mean I’m not grounded anymore either?” Apple Bloom asked hopefully.

“No way in hell.”

“Ya bet yer bow yer still grounded.”

“Eenope.”

“Aww.”

“Take it with some dignity Bloom, you’re an Apple,” I chided as I lifted the cart once more and returned to hauling it back to the farm, “On a different note, what were about to call me?”

“I-I almost called you Papa, you sounded a lot like him,” Apple Bloom confessed, getting sympathetic looks from Applejack and myself.

“Eenope,” Mac argued.

“Calm yourself Mac, it was just a slip. It happens,” I reassured the stallion before his sister had a chance to get angry.

“He’s right, no need to make a fuss ‘bout it,” Applejack agreed with a hard stare at her brother.

“It’s just...I didn’t know him long an’ Best was there an’ he was you an’...” Apple Bloom trailed off, visibly depressed by the turn the conversation had taken.

“It’s okay Bloom, you don’t have to justify it to me. But I don’t know if I’m the one you want as a role model, I’m told that I’m a bad influence. Wasn’t the best father either,” I replied, my own tone turning somber.

“That Freydis you were talkin’ ‘bout?” Applejack guessed.

“Only one I call my daughter,” I confirmed, tilting my head back to watch the clouds drift by as I thought about how to continue, “I didn’t have a clue and did the worst thing I could’ve done, I let her do whatever she wanted. It was blind luck that all she did was hook up with Garalt, she could’ve gotten herself killed.”

“Sounded like a solid dad when you were talkin’ ‘bout her before,” Applejack pressed supportively.

“I tried, but I still see more failures than successes,” I groused.

Applejack smiled at her little sister for a moment before agreeing, “Me too, comes with the job.”

“I never stopped looking, you know. I still believe that I’ll find them,” I confided.

“It’s been nine years. If they’re still alive, then they musta given up on us,” Applejack reasoned, though Mac looked up hopefully.

“If they ran off, I’ll return them with a hundred and eleven broken bones. One for each month. That ought to keep them here long enough for them to recognize what they’ve been missing and start making it up to you. If you can’t forgive them, then at least I tried,” I responded.

“Don’t hold yer breath, Ah got a lotta anger ‘bout them disapperin’ like that,” Applejack advised. Apple Bloom and Mac didn’t seem to agree with her on that, however.


Perspective: Luna
The border of the Everfree Forest


The subject of my ire was about to meet her match, victory was assured. This plan was foolproof. It could not fail. Logic would win this day.

Pinkie had just pulled one of her impossible entrances and was bouncing away from the scene so innocently. Her mistake was that she had already traveled this path and alerted my comrade and I to which tree she disappeared behind.

I received Twilight’s signal that she was in position on the other side and returned my own in response, the trap was set. Pinkie would have to pass on one side of this tree and reveal how exactly she managed to disappear.

“Here we go,” I whispered to myself as Pinkie neared the tree. Soon enough she passed the tree and didn’t reappear on the other side, leaving Twilight in a perfect position to see what had happened. Sprinting from my cover, I met an excited Twilight in the middle of the path. Coincidentally, we were right next to the tree.

“How did she do it?” Twilight asked eagerly, ruining my own excitement.

“You didn’t see?” I confirmed.

“No, she was on your side,” Twilight replied.

“No, she wasn’t,” I groaned, realizing our folly. We had tried to trap madness within a net of sanity, a task not dissimilar to attempting to lasso water. It led only to more madness.

“Drat,” Twilight swore.

“Drat indeed,” I agreed.

“It has to be the tree, she must have some sort of secret entrance leading to a tunnel or something,” Twilight asserted, rushing over to poke and prod at the tree for any secret buttons or levers.

“Perhaps you should lift the entire tree,” I suggested.

“But it’s too much, all of the roots and dirt that would have to be broken, I can’t lift that,” Twilight argued, continuing her fruitless search.

“And yet both Jekyll and an Ursa Minor weren’t?” I pressed, causing the unicorn to freeze.

“Were you in my dream?” Twilight asked.

“It was no dream, you really did those things. You did pass out afterwards though,” I explained.

“That-that really happened? I had no idea…” Twilight trailed off.

“Yes, I saw the whole thing. I must say Twilight, I have never been more proud than I was last night,” I praised, making Twilight flush with embarrassment.

“Thank you pr-” Twilight began, though she was interrupted by a massive column of blue light rising in the distance that stole both of our attentions.

“The town!” Both of us cried in alarm as we sprinted back.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Sweet Apple Acres


“You really didn’t have to cook for me AJ, I get by well enough on dirt,” I commented, though I kept a grateful tone to avoid the ever present spatula.

“Dirt Shmirt, ya been looking after us and payin’ our taxes too long ta get outa bein’ family. Ah don’t let family leave hungry Jay,” Applejack declared. As she turned to threaten me into behaving, a bright blue light shone through the window and lit up the side of her face, “What in tarnation?”

“Is it illegal for me to get a day off?” I groaned.

Applejack looked torn for a few seconds before spitting out a frustrated question, “You hungry?”

“Not really, no,” I replied, somewhat confused.

“Then Ah guess ya can go save the town again, try ta be back fer dinner,” Applejack allowed.

“I’ll do my best,” I promised, finding the sense of family nostalgically pleasant.

“Kick some butt Not-Papa,” Apple Bloom called as I passed her, a sly smile on her face. Mac’s stubborn insistence on looking sour just made the rest of the family laugh harder.

I hurriedly said my farewells as I rushed out the door and sprinted into town, looking for any sign of the blue light. That is to say: I was looking for Nightmare Moon. Instead, I found a concerned looking Luna galloping towards me with an equally nervous Twilight in tow.

“Tell me that was you,” I demanded once the pair were within shouting range.

“It wasn’t,” Luna replied as she closed the distance and looked around for any clues.

“Your keep says it came from Whitetail Woods,” a helpful voice clarified. Looking up, I discovered Gilda perched on a nearby roof.

“And he sent you to tell me?” I asked.

“I volunteered. Figured I might as well, since I’m tagging along,” Gilda replied.

“You intend to follow me into battle? Like that? Where is your armor? Your sword? I can’t stop you from seeking adventure, but you will not get yourself killed in my territory,” I stated.

“Armor? Sword? You’ve been away from the Isles too long elder, we have new weapons now,” Gilda argued as she pulled a canvas bag from under her wing and removed a number of belts and pouches. Soon after the gryphon had her rigging on, she began withdrawing six small metal pipes with wooden handles and placing them in appropriately shaped pouches on her gear.

“You brought wheellocks into Equestria?” I asked in surprise.

“And one of the new flintlocks, custom made for easy concealment,” Gilda bragged as she removed the last few items from her bag and assembled the carbine length musket.

“What are those? They look somewhat similar to your spike weapons,” Luna asked.

“Mechanical version of the same thing, throws a rock at very high speed and punches holes in things. Very messy, very effective,” I explained, “Very illegal. Where were you hiding that bag?”

“My underwear drawer,” Gilda replied easily.

“We will be discussing this later little one,” I promised darkly.

“As you say lord, but we have an enemy to destroy first,” Gilda pressed.

“Be glad you do, you’re speaking to the only illegal weapon I approve of,” Luna added as I formed my wings.

“You coming too? Got a tank and ranger, could use a mage,” I offered.

“Not this time, I may already be too late to gather everything Twilight could remember about last night,” Luna replied, “I just wish we had a more quiet life sometimes.”

“It does feel like there’s always something on fire,” I agreed before taking to the skies. I kept my pace slow enough for Gilda to catch up before setting off in earnest.


A Few Minutes Later


Gilda opted to land in the more traditional way, the way everything else landed. I for one preferred the obscuring cloud of dust that came with dropping out of the sky like a rock, it kept any potential enemies from knowing where I was and gave me an advantage.

“You’re sure this is where it came from?” I asked as the dust settled around the confused townsponies and us.

“Straight shot along the path Abaddon described, this is the only town in that direction,” Gilda responded, her talon never straying more than an inch from the wheellock strapped to her thigh.

“Ease up, you’re making the situation more tense than it needs to be,” I ordered before turning my attention to the locals, “So who fucked up what and caused that bright ass light?”

“Ah Tartarus. Listen sir, Arcane got a little outa…” A stallion began as he walked out of a nearby shop, though he froze when he saw me.

“So this ‘Arcane’ messed up a spell or something then?” I confirmed, “At least it’s not another attack. Still, I should talk to this fellow and see what the everloving fuck could’ve caused that.”

“Ya’ leave ’im be, he’s been through enough,” the stallion demanded, earning my full attention.

“Ballsy, aren’t you? Yes, I remember you now; the fool that thought some little hammer would hurt me. Part of that wannabe knight group, right? Get out of my way,” I ordered, rapidly alternating between sounding curious and threatening to disorient the naturally empathetic pony.

“Ah’ll limp my ass over there and kick your teeth in if ya’ take another step,” the stallion threatened, prompting me to walk right up to the old soldier.

“You’re still in my way,” I noted, switching to taunting the beaten warrior with my apathy.

“No,” the stallion declared, planting his hooves defiantly.

“I left you broken enough to stop fighting but intact enough to find a new job and move on, that was not an accident. Do not test my patience further,” I warned.

“I may be broken, but I won’t let you hurt that colt.”

“This is going nowhere and pissing me off. I am going to find this ‘Arcane’ and ask him how he made that light, then I am going to tell him not to scare me like that again, and then I’ll probably check out this cool ass looking coffee shop before heading home,” I stated firmly.

“Ah’m supposed to believe that ya’ intend to talk to ‘im? Horseshit. And ya’ ain’t welcome in my shop either, so you might as well sod off.”

“Damn elders and their patience,” Gilda complained loudly as she drew her pistol. A firm hand in the action kept the weapon from firing however, “Hey, what gives?”

“Starting an unnecessary conflict is never wise, but there is no fault in destroying those who make it necessary. This one is stubborn and belligerent, but he doesn’t need to die,” I advised as I reset the mechanism with one finger. As I glanced over to ensure the pistol had been recocked properly, I noticed a single word engraved in the barrel. Kindness.

“Is that an order?” Gilda demanded angrily as she struggled to pull her weapon out of my grip.

“If it needs to be,” I replied tersely, my words finally getting the gryphon to calm down. It was an angry calm, but I’d take what I could get.

“Y’all kiss and make up?” the stallion asked.

“Last chance to tell me where Arcane is before I eat your brain,” I threatened, shutting the stallion up.

It must’ve been clear that I wasn’t bluffing, as the stallion took a step back and muttered something about how much hospital security guards were paid.

“Was that so hard?” I asked, walking around the former mercenary to visit my real target in his hospital bed.

“Can I have my gun back now?” Gilda requested as I pulled her along.

“As soon as you explain the engraving,” I countered, internally hoping it was something innocent.

“It marks the target the gun was meant for,” Gilda admitted.

“You’re an assassin then, pity. Seven guns, seven targets. The Element bearers and Luna. I would assume you’ve gone rogue then?” I guessed, finally loosening my fingers and allowing Gilda to reholster her pistol.

“Hold on, what? Luna? You’re my last target, I have a special bullet and everything. And why would I go rogue?” Gilda asked.

“I guess the Isles don’t know the names of the Element bearers, Dash is Loyalty,” I revealed, causing Gilda to freeze in place.

“No. Oh please no. You’re lying, you have to be lying,” Gilda stammered, her voice small.

“You know her, who else could possibly hold that title?” I pressed.

“I-I can’t-I don’t-what the hay am I supposed to do? How do I justify any of this? If I honor my country and kill Rainbow, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. But if I spare her and return a failure, I would be publicly shamed and exiled along with my family. I can’t do either. W-What do I do?” Gilda asked, visibly shaking as she struggled with her situation.

“You could die,” I suggested without thinking. Gilda immediately reached for one of her pistols and I had to amend my offhand comment before she could take action, “Fake it, I mean. Go after a copy of Shy, or one of the others, and get ‘killed’ by me for it. Then alter a few features, a bit shorter beak, different colors, and Gilda dies a hero while Dash and her friends keep breathing.”

“That-that might work. But where would I live, how would I keep my family’s honor and standing intact?” Gilda pressed.

“New name obviously. As for work, I seem to recall Luna’s guard being short on flyers,” I offered.

“I need time to think, thank you for the ideas elder,” Gilda thanked with a polite bow.

“We’d need to get you new guns though, those muzzleloaders suck. Mine would peel the flesh from your bones though, trust me on that one. I’ll have the techs see about a self contained setup for you. It won’t be on our level, but it’ll be better than that shit,” I mused, talking more to myself than Gilda.

“How did you do that?” Gilda asked.

“Do what?” I countered.

“Taking an impossible situation and finding a simple solution almost instantly,” Gilda clarified.

“I’m not bound by gryphon thinking and I have a lot of experience,” I replied. A dull thud prompted me to look back as we walked, “Ah hell, angry coffee dude passed out. Gimme a sec.”

“Do we need one of your former enemies to get into the hospital?” Gilda deadpanned as I hefted the stallion onto my shoulder.

“Might be low blood pressure, calorie deficiency, or even an aneurism brought on by his clearly scarring memories of our last meeting coupled with facing me again. Point is, we’re already going to the hospital and I, as a doctor myself, can’t leave him here to die,” I explained.

“Isn’t there something about not inflicting harm that comes with being a quack?” Gilda teased.

“It’s called the hippocratic oath for a reason, and it ends up being a suggestion when you live the kind of life I do. Also, I thought you were part hawk or something, you don’t look like a duck to me,” I shot back.

“Oh snap!” a random townspony commented, soon finding one of Gilda’s pistols leveled in his direction for his trouble.

“Gilda, what did I say?” I warned.

Gilda briefly shook in anger before finally lowering her weapon and spitting out her answer, “Don’t start fights, end them.”

“Good, now follow along like a good little duckling,” I ordered jokingly as I resumed my trek towards the town hospital. Gilda refused to stop grumbling until we reached the door, “Well?”

“What, you want me to like holding back like this?” Gilda snapped.

“No, I want you to open the door and show the elder in your presence the respect he deserves,” I replied, though not angrily.

“Oh, right,” Gilda groused as she walked up and opened the door for me.

“Thank you,” I said politely as I walked through and flagged down one of the nurses, “Hey, could I get a gurney over here?”

“Sorry, it’s not policy to follow the orders of monsters,” the nurse responded snidely.

“Okay then, how about giving me the name of the doctor on call?” I requested. As the nurse turned to leave, she smacked her head on the foot long spike that had suddenly imbedded itself in the wall, “Listen bitch, you think making it halfway through medical school makes you hot shit? It fucking doesn’t. How about we make a compromise, eh? You bring me your chief physician and on the way back you ask him whether or not I’m a good enough surgeon to move the precious few brain cells you have into your rectal cavity without either killing you or administering any anesthetics, sound like a plan?”

“I am never crossing you again,” Gilda promised as the nurse galloped off.

“Damn, I was really hoping to try that one out,” I complained. It was truly a fascinating concept.

It didn’t take long for the requested doctor to sprint into the lobby with the previous nurse in tow, her much more polite attitude notwithstanding, “Ah, Jekyll is it? Welcome to Brismane General, how may we help you today?”

“Angry coffee dude lost consciousness roughly five minutes ago, possible cause is malignant complications arising from past mental trauma. Breathing and blood pressure are low, but not to dangerous levels,” I listed as I presented the patient.

“Oh, that’s just Ashen Brew. He samples his own product a little too often and suffers crashes at the worst times. Fever, fetch a bed for him and make sure there’s some water waiting for him when he wakes up,” the doctor ordered.

“Sounds like he’s afraid of sleep, seen it once before,” Gilda commented.

“Very astute Gilda, I was just thinking the same thing. Mr Brew seems to be plagued by the memory of our first meeting, he may experience nightmares so vivid that they have driven him into this state,” I hypothesized, “I know a specialist that may be of some help here, but she’ll be busy for the foreseeable future. Any ideas?”

“Well, we are a small community, there aren’t many psychologists that would travel out here for one patient’s nightmares. I honestly don’t know how to help Ashen with this,” the doctor replied with a sad shake of his head.

“Keep your ears on, I’ll send you any info I find. By the way, I didn’t catch your name,” I stated.

“My apologies, I’m Doctor Stable Scalpel. Pleased to make your acquaintance, I’ve heard...mixed things about you,” Stable greeted.

“I get that a lot. I just need one more favor and then I’ll be out of your mane, could you point me towards Arcane?” I requested.

“Oh, him. I’m seriously considering creating a membership program thanks to that stallion. I don’t know what idea that foal is stuck on, but this isn’t the first time he’s been at the center of an explosion. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t complain like this. Especially not about Arcane, not after what happened…” Stable trailed off.

“I intend to find out exactly what he did and hopefully stop it from happening again, that light was visible from Ponyville and sent everypony running to escape the imminent attack,” I replied.

“You aren’t going to ask what happened?” Gilda pressed.

“No, it’s neither by business nor my problem,” I declared.

“But I wanna know now,” Gilda complained, showing her age for a moment. I sighed and gestured for Stable to continue.

“His father went crazy and murdered his mother, would’ve murdered Arcane too if his locket hadn’t slowed the knife. The damage is mostly mental now, from what his brother has told me, he was very close with his mother,” Stable explained.

“You asked,” I pointed out as Gilda looked away.

“Yes, it was a dark day,” Stable commented.

“Not my patient, not my problem. I just need to stop him from causing a nationwide panic or tempting our enemies into attacking early, to do that I need to know where he is,” I stressed.

“Of course, my apologies, he’s in room two-oh-three. Up the stairs at the end of the hallway, turn left, third door on the right,” Stable finally answered.

“Thank you,” I responded politely as I started walking away, “Come on Gilda, I have a job for you.”

“What do you need?” Gilda asked as she caught up, seeming grateful for something new to think about.

“I’m going to need you to look angry and hungry while you wait outside the room, feel free to act on those concepts if any of the locals try to force their way in,” I replied.

“You’re giving me permission to kill ponies?” Gilda asked in surprise.

“If they try to get in, yes,” I answered darkly.

“This got really serious really fast and I wasn’t prepared for that,” Gilda commented quietly.

“The six pistols and musket disagree with you,” I noted.

Gilda opened her break to respond, but shut it after a moment and fell silent until I found the door I sought and walked in.

“So you’re Arcane,” I stated. It wasn’t a question.

“Wha?” the blue unicorn asked groggily, prompting me to give him an incentive to wake up. I sauntered right up to the half asleep stallion’s face and stuck a particularly wet tongue unto his left nostril, the most efficient cure for grogginess in any creature, “Gah! What the hay Steel?”

“Try again,” I prompted, getting the unicorn’s attention. As his eyes scanned my face, I saw a look of recognition cross his features. It was quickly followed by fear.

“Y-you’re Jekyll, your wanted poster is hanging in the coffee shop,” Arcane noted absently.

“Good, that means I can skip the threats and go straight to telling you not to do that again,” I began.

“But-”

“I fucking hate that word more every day, say it again and I’ll geld you. I don’t care what you did to make that pillar of light, but I could see it from Ponyville. I could also see the panic it caused there. I don’t know yet if the gryphons, or any of the other races, could see it or whether they’re using it as an excuse to send an invasion force right this second, but I don’t want to see another stunt like that again. Are we clear?” I asked pointedly.

“Th-that wasn’t supposed to happen! It was only supposed to make a shield..,” Arcane pleaded, eyes wide at my threats; both implied and implicit.

“How do you fuck up a shield rune so badly that it does that?” I wondered, my anger quickly swallowed by genuine curiosity. I quickly grabbed the smallest, most solid surface I could find, a glass flask full of golden liquid, and carved the proper rune into the side, “How far from this was it?”

“It was the same… ish...,” Arcane replied.

“Then maybe it’s not the rune,” I mused, stepping back and powering the shield myself to test it. Finding that it worked perfectly, I handed it to Arcane, “Low power, go for a shield around the flask itself.”

The flask exploded, throwing shards of glass in every direction and leaving a few scratches on Arcane’s muzzle for good measure.

“Fascinating, it almost looks like the rune was allergic to your magic. Impossible, but fascinating,” I commented. Raised voices outside told me Gilda was doing her job well.

“You’re really curious about this? The poster made you seem like-” Arcane began.

“A dumb but unstoppable brute, I know. I also couldn’t care less what they say about me. I know who and what I am, that’s enough for me. Back on topic, I would recommend testing your magic on things that don’t build power within themselves until you can track down exactly what keeps going wrong. Do I need to give you an incentive to avoid runes until then?” I responded.

“No, bu-although I may have a theory.” Arcane began, catching himself before he angered me. “Before I was… injured... I could handle runes just as easily as anypony else, I think it might have to do with what happened,” Arcane hypothesised.

“You got stabbed or something right? I doubt that could affect magic like this. Just because I legitimately want to know, I’ll be posting a messenger in the woods. Walk out alone and he or she will find you, just don’t trust every timberwolf you come across. Keep me posted on your findings and I might even call in an expert or two to help,” I offered.

“You’re studying me?” Arcane confirmed, reading between the lines to figure out my true reason for supporting him.

“Heh, you’re more clever than most. Yes, I am. However, I have more important things to do than watch you all day and you seem competent enough to diagnose yourself, so I’ll be expecting you to check in whenever you find anything and ask for help when it invariably ends up over your head,” I stated.

“Uh, wow, I wasn’t expecting that much,” Arcane commented.

“I wasn’t expecting a bright ass pillar of blue light interrupting my lunch with some friends, but shit happens. I’d just be happy that you get to study yourself, there were worse possibilities,” I rebutted.

“Okay, I’ll tell your messenger whatever I find,” Arcane relented, “So, what happens now?”

“Now I collect my gryphon before she actually does eat somepony and then I’ll go home, you carry on with your...what the fuck? I swear I watched that explode,” I stumbled, noticing a flask of golden liquid sitting on the table.

“I-” Arcane attempted. I glanced over before my inevitable interruption, seeing the unicorn before me begin the first stages of nervous sweating and eye contraction.

“Meh, must’ve been two of them,” I excused, knowing full well there hadn’t been. This was fascinating and warranted observation, but it wasn’t my field of expertise, my territory, or my problem.

“Uh, yeah, two of them,” Arcane agreed nervously.

“Well, it’s about that time,” I declared as I stood to my full height and turned towards the door, “And Arcane, don’t make me come back.”

Arcane could only nod as I confidently strode out the door and into the maelstrom of shouts and threats that Gilda had brewed in my absence.

“He’s all yours. Gilda, we’re done here,” I shouted just loud enough to be heard over the others present, including one green pegasus wearing a militia uniform that looked far angrier than the others.

“You won’t get away with this!” the pegasus promised as Gilda and I walked out and began the flight back in silence.

Once we were safely in the air and a good distance from Brismane, I broke the silence, “Good work back there.”

“Seriously? They were almost ready to storm the door,” Gilda argued.

“But they didn’t and I finished my little talk with the unicorn, that’s what matters,” I countered.

“As long as the mission is completed, the means are irrelevant? That doesn’t sound right, it could justify some horrible things,” Gilda reasoned.

“Very true, that’s why there’s a ‘within reason’ clause. You kept them out without killing any of them even though you had permission to do so, that’s your honor finding the best solution. It’s also what I was expecting,” I informed the gryphon, “Think about your original mission and how this line of thinking could be applied.”

“I was to kill seven ponies so my people could take this land more easily, my mission was the horrible thing justified by the prosperity we would have in the future. I understand elder, thank you,” Gilda replied after taking a minute to think.

“Anytime little one. Can you fly faster? I’d like to get back before AJ decides I’m late for dinner,” I requested.

We almost made it in time.


Perspective Change: Corporal Irving, 7th Infantry Battalion,  2nd Squad
Undisclosed Location


There were worse postings, I knew that. Stars help me if I could think of one right now though. Watching these ridiculous mortals play at making war was infuriating, and pretending to protect them just made it that much more frustrating.

“Look alive featherbrains, the last delegate finally arrived. Hop to it, you all know the drill, elbows and plot holes gryphons, I want the lot of you in position within the minute!” the insufferable excuse for a sergeant bellowed from our local barracks, much too far for any of these weaklings to overhear. I would’ve been able to slip away from this living migraine if that damned delegate had taken six more minutes to figure out the door.

“All rise for the honorable representative from the Caribou Enclave,” the crier called like the good little robot he was. When I got the order, he would be the first one I killed. It would be the only mercy I showed.

“About time,” Regnot complained. This particular minotaur was in dire need of a tongue removal, it was clearly the cause of all his bitching. Or maybe it was his stature, he was surprisingly short and scrawny for a minotaur. Perhaps a Napoleon Complex?

“Settle yourself dear Regnot, you need not carry anger so hot,” Kahira soothed. I actually liked Kahira, the zebra always had a calming presence. She almost made this post bearable, if only she would drop that robe so I could see her mark. ‘I wonder if Lord Jekyll would let me keep her? He’s running around with that pony, it would be hypocritical to keep me from having a pet too.’

“I’m with the brute on this, zebra. Two days isn’t late, it’s a deliberate insult,” Felix argued, having gotten increasingly impatient over the past few days. I hated being on this prick’s security detail more than I had hated anything else in my life. I hated this eagle faced and gray assed gryphon so much that I wouldn’t kill him if given the choice, I’d much rather hang him by his sensitive bits and let small cuts on his wings finish the job for me.

“Have my servants been poor hosts? I seem to remember a certain boast. Ten of my mares in one night, and still you find no respite?” Kahira challenged playfully, making the gryphon’ face flush in a mix of embarrassment and anger.

“That was hardly appropriate,” the caribou commented as it finally walked in. I noticed one of its escorts shared my eyes and mentally begged for the code word that would end my suffering.

“Then show up before we turn our boredom towards the staff,” Felix spat.

“The faithful were not certain whether to send this one at all. We have been given a clear sign by our lord, we are to leave this sinful alliance behind and pursue no hostility toward the ponies,” the caribou responded with their typical lack of emotion, causing the males in the room to bristle in rage. Only half my beak was visible to the other occupants in the room, so I allowed the other side to split into a toothy grin that crept past my ear.

‘Say “firesale”, just say that one damn word! Please please please say “firesale.” It’s the only thing that could make this day better!’ I mentally screamed at the other enforcer, though without a direct link it was an effort in futility.

“YOU WHAT? What in Tartarus do you mean you got a sign?” Regnot raved, spittle flying from his mouth as he spoke.

“One of those demons was able to massacre seven percent of the faith in one day. Seven and one, the holy numbers. Seven paradises for one of the faithful. It could not be clearer, we are on the wrong path and must correct ourselves. We would be destroyed to the last and denied our everlasting ecstasy otherwise, we must not allow this to pass,” the caribou diplomat explained.

“Damn zealots, we needed your numbers!” Felix shouted angrily.

“And you shall have them if we receive a sign that we are to support you once more, as is our way,” the caribou allowed, though it only served to enrage  Felix and Regnot further.

“All of you be still, I will not have blood spill,” Kahira ordered, her quiet voice cutting through the argument like a knife and silencing the other diplomats.

“But we can’t just let them back out this late in the planning stages, it’d undo months of work and could delay the invasion itself,” Felix protested.

“Yet it is thus, and so we must,” Kahira replied, her voice hardening ever so slightly.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. We can’t force the Enclave to join us, nor can we lump them in with the ponies and invade them as well. We simply don’t have the soldiers for that. Regnot my friend, I believe we have lost this fight,” Felix conceded sadly.

“What about your freak? Why is it letting you back out?” Regnot challenged defiantly.

“The demon that ravaged our holy capital killed the prophet you sent us, its death only cemented our faith in the sign,” the caribou replied, crushing the minotaur’s last hope. ‘Freak? Prophet? Are they...they are. The rogues are working with the Alliance!’

I felt much less safe around that other enforcer now that I knew there were rogues involved. Although, if I was dosed with their ‘freedom’ drug...I could kill these fools and go home.

“Just one last question then, what’s under that cloak?” Regnot asked, his voice dripping with rage and malice.

“My armor and a single knife, one designed for utility work,” the caribou answered.

“Not what I was asking.”

“I am female.”

“I think a bit of reparations are in order, considering how much of our time these turntails have wasted. Wouldn’t you agree Felix?” Regnot proposed.

“Absolutely not. It’s no secret that I enjoy the hospitality of our hosts, but what you’re suggesting is completely different and wrong,” Felix declared, showing more spine and honor than I thought he possessed.

“As if I’d sully myself with some caribou. I’m going to carve this one up and send every piece to the ones who’d know them the most, make sure the Enclave knows exactly what I think of this,” Regnot growled.

“Guards!” Kahira shouted in panic, even losing her rhyming. She began looking around fearfully when nothing came of her call.

“Sorry, I simply can’t trust a zebra to do a minotaur’s job,” Regnot laughed as his own security detail appeared at the door. I didn’t think it was possible, I legitimately thought he was bluffing, but with that unspoken threat Regnot had officially passed Felix and become the thing I hated most in this world. The fact that I considered myself female only added to the fires of my rage, that and my orders to preserve my cover at all costs.

“I should warn you minotaur,” the caribou began as it was seized by the guards and violently disrobed, “We found a new prophet.”

At that last word, any doubt that the other enforcer was rogue found itself erased. This creature couldn’t be one of my brothers anymore, we didn’t follow the orders of our enemies. But this...thing certainly did, leaving the minotaur guards as little more than stains on the rugs and tapestries. It never attacked me or threatened my cover however, but it did smile knowingly at me through the cloud of blood it had created.

I had been discovered. I had to run.

‘Goodbye Kahira, I hope I find you before one of the others do,’ I thought as I dropped my disguise and dove through the nearest window. I’d need to be fast, but I was sure I’d make it back into range of Abaddon’s weapons before the rogue could catch me.

It didn’t follow at all, it had already accomplished its mission. I could no longer spy on the Alliance’s meetings, I had been rendered useless with nothing but a smile. To crush my spirits further, they had my scent now. They could follow me anywhere.

Two centuries of honing my skills at blending in, erased with a smile. I hoped I could save Kahira, I believed I’d need her soothing voice to help me find a new purpose. Or maybe I’d just be recycled, that would work for me too.
> Chapter 24: Doubt
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna
Two Hours Ago


‘Try not to bring the entire guard down on yourself’ I mentally begged as I watched Jay fly off with that gryphon. Nothing to be done about it now, I was needed here.

“Princess?” Twilight asked uncertainly when I didn’t move.

“It’s fine Twilight, let’s retire to your library. Pinkie can wait for another day,” I suggested, though my eyes and mind were on the two specks that were about to disappear behind the first trees of Whitetail Woods.

“Sure...they’re going to be okay, you know. You don’t need to worry about them,” Twilight reassured.

“It is not them I’m worried about, you didn’t see the anger in Jay’s eyes,” I replied, tearing myself away from where my husband and the gryphon had disappeared. That admission of carrying illegal weapons had shattered what little trust I had in the gryphon, the only others I had seen doing such things had been the assassins trying to kill me.

I wasn’t blind, I could see that Jay liked this chick. Probably saw her as someone to mentor and teach now that I had ruined that for us, or maybe she was just a temporary stand in for his lost daughter. Either way, I also knew he’d kill her before she could lay a talon on me. I intellectually knew I didn’t need to worry, and yet I found myself doing so anyway.

“I...I don’t have a response for that one,” Twilight confessed.

“Nopony expected you to, we shall have to wait and see how much damage has been done and to whom,” I stated, finally beginning the short walk to the library.

Twilight was the picture of internal conflict as she followed me in silence, periodically opening her mouth to speak and then closing it again as she repeatedly failed to find words for what she felt.

We were at the home of my perplexed student soon enough, allowing both of us to shift our minds onto easier topics, “About last night, what do you remember?”

“I remember Jekyll trying to make it angry, but it got angry with me instead. I remember him carrying me as he ran through the forest. That was what scared me the most, I-I’ve never gone that fast before,” Twilight began.

“Good, and the conflict in the clearing?” I prompted.

“It’s kinda hazy, but I remember hearing Jekyll telling the Ursa to leave; that he didn’t want to kill it. After that it’s just a feeling of needing to make everypony settle down. I’m sorry, I don’t remember how I did that stuff,” Twilight explained apologetically.

“It’s quite alright, I knew you wouldn’t remember much. Had I not gotten distracted earlier today, this may have been more enlightening. But alas, I waited too long. This is my fault,” I confessed.

“I-uh…” Twilight mumbled, once again rendered speechless.

“I know, there’s no reply to that one either. I’m sorry for that too,” I apologized.

“No, it’s fine. I just wish I could remember how I did that, it seems like it could be really helpful,” Twilight lamented.

“I’m sure you still know how to tap your full power, just not consciously. It may very well come to your aid when it is needed, but I wouldn’t waste energy trying to activate it during a normal day,” I advised, pressing my hooves to my temples as I fought through my self induced headache.

“I hope so, especially if my friends and I have to save the world again. No offense, of course,” Twilight replied.

“None taken, potentially world ending threats should be fought with everything you can muster. Even me,” I responded grimly, meaning every word.

“I feel like this is where Pinkie would normally show up and brighten the mood,” Twilight commented.

“Speak not of demons, lest they appear before you,” I quoted, looking at the eldritch beast beyond my student.

“Hiya everypony, why so glum?” Pinkie asked, causing Twilight to jump a full six feet into the air in surprise, “Are we having a slumber party? No, it’s waaaayyyy too early for that. Maybe you’re in here sulking because Twilight went all glowy boom boom and can’t remember how. But that’s probably because neither of you have gotten your invitations yet and invitations are great because they mean that there’s a party soon and parties make everypony happy and smiling and that’s wonderful because- hmphumph amphum mmm.”

“Pinkie, please slow down. What party?” Twilight asked.

“Yours, for defeating the Ursa,” I clarified before the abomination could speak around the hoof I had jammed in her mouth.

“Already? That was last night, how did you throw a party together already?” Twilight asked.

“It’s what I do,” the pink menace answered simply, leaving me confused. I was expecting a longer explanation, or at least a muffled response.

“Twilight...if the thing is over there, what’s on my hoof?” I asked fearfully as my mind connected dots I didn’t want connected.

“Oh that’s just Gummy, he’s an alligator but he doesn’t have any teeth,” Pinkie replied happily, doing little to calm my fears.

“Make it stop, I just want a normal life,” I whined, unable to cope with this insanity any longer.

“Maybe we could just get that invitation please?” Twilight requested.

“Okie dokie, it’s at Vinyl’s club tonight. You’ll know when it’s time,” the demon replied cryptically, disappearing when I blinked in confusion. A glance at my slobber covered hoof confirmed that the alligator was gone too. Small blessings.

“So, that happened,” I commented.

“Uh, yeah. What were we talking about again?” Twilight asked.

“I was hinting that you may need to kill me if I become the Nightmare again and giving you my...permission, for lack of a better word, to do so,” I responded.

“Right, that,” Twilight groaned, regretting her question already.

“It matters not, the subject was concluded well enough. What do you say we get something to eat?” I suggested, catching myself before I could lapse completely into my old verbiage and make a fool of myself.

“Where were you thinking?” Twilight asked, already moving towards the door.

“I recall seeing a bakery down the road, any good?”

“The best, but Pinkie’s probably working the kitchen by now though,” Twilight warned.

“The cafe it is,” I declared as I strode out the door and promptly tripped over something, “Ow.”

“Hiya princess, fancy seeing you again,” a voice I didn’t want to hear greeted jovially.

“Pinkie,” I grunted into the dirt.

“I was just coming back because I ran into Applejack and she wanted me to let you know that she has dinner almost ready and you’re invited because of the thing I’m not supposed to know about with Jekyll and how he’s an honorary Apple now or something, but she didn’t say that last part,” Pinkie rambled.

After a few seconds to process the jumble of words, I was confident that I had the basic gist of what was going on, “Thank you, we’ll head right over.”

“Yeppers,” Pinkie replied before bouncing away.

“A home cooked meal does sound great right now, beats the slop I’ve been eating,” I commented as I picked myself up.

“The slop?” Twilight asked.

“A consequence of my reclusiveness. Abaddon doesn’t have stockpiles of fresh fruit or grains, so I’ve been eating a mush of plant bits that he makes. It’s not bad, but it isn’t filling either. Texture is fairly awful, but it’s what’s for dinner,” I explained with a shrug.

“I can see why AJ’s cooking would bring you running, that sounds horrible,” Twilight agreed.

“I admit I miss real food from time to time,” I allowed.

“So...always?” Twilight guessed, grinning.

“I suppose I could’ve veiled that one better,” I commented to myself, “Come on, I wouldn’t want to be late to the first dinner invitation I’ve ever received.”

“Ever?” Twilight asked as we began walking towards the farm.

“Did you think the focus on my sister is a new trend? Nay; even our parents favored her. Given the customs at the time, I understand why,” I replied, my mood remaining optimistic despite the dark turn our conversation had taken yet again.

“I read about this a long time ago. The first born was always set to inherit everything, leaving the rest with nothing. Second sons were often recruited by local militia’s and the state army while the daughters were typically sold off to other families as political marriages,” Twilight recited.

“Quite true, mother was always searching for some foreign king to marry me to. I suppose that if we ever met again, she’d be pleased with that aspect of my life; for the full second before Jay killed her,” I predicted.

“Would he? That doesn’t sound like something he would do,” Twilight countered.

“Jekyll hates my parents for all the neglect I’ve been treated with. All the little things I was made to endure, the burr on my crown, the lack of proper training in etiquette and self defense, my rather simple education compared to Tia’s. Are you aware that the sun mostly moves itself? It only takes a nudge to keep it going. However, the moon must be forced into position every night, they gave me the difficult job so Tia could focus on finding a mate and running the country,” I ranted, it felt good to get all of this off my chest.

“He’d kill them for that?” Twilight confirmed.

“I don’t know if Jay loves me on some level or if he needs me for some other purpose, but I’m convinced he’d kill anypony that gave me so much as a paper cut,” I replied.

“Remind me never to let you handle any of my books with your hooves,” Twilight responded with genuine fear.

“Worry not, that’s what magic is for,” I comforted with a laugh.

“That still bothers me though, what other purpose could he have planned?” Twilight wondered aloud.

“I get the impression that he’s more of an opportunist than a manipulator, but my guess would be the removal of my sister from his life. He doesn’t seem to want her dead though, so I don’t really know what he’s after,” I guessed.

“Maybe he’s tired of being hated and want’s to use your social standing to elevate his own?” Twilight suggested.

“Hmmm, I don’t think so. He’s still a soldier in his mind, having a positive reputation to that degree would take much of the weight out of his casual threats,” I countered.

“But isn’t he trying to present himself as more than a monster? Why would he do that if he isn’t trying to be accepted?” Twilight pressed.

“You misunderstand his motives. Jay doesn’t care about what the common canterlot pony thinks of him, but Ponyville is his town, his home. He wants to walk around this town freely, with no fear of judgement. Wait, that isn’t right, I’ve seen his reaction to ponies hating him. He didn’t seem to care about them either. It seems I don’t have the answer to that one yet,” I admitted.

“You could ask him,” Twilight suggested.

“I shall, as soon as he returns,” I promised before I realized that I might’ve almost committed a social faux pas, “Um, Twilight, will Miss Applejack be cross if I arrive at her home with another guest?”

“Odd phrasing, but no. AJ plans for extra ponies,” Twilight replied.

“My apologies, I’m nervous and barely keeping myself from reverting to the thee’s and thou’s,” I confessed.

“Why? It’s just AJ, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom, nothing to be nervous about,” Twilight comforted, or at least attempted to.

“There are four of them?” I managed, feeling a bead of sweat creeping down my forehead. As the droplet rolled around my horn, I stopped to breathe and get my bearings, “I really have become a recluse, having dinner with four ponies shouldn’t make me this anxious.”

“Well, five and a...whatever Jekyll is, but three of those are your friends,” Twilight reminded me.

Twilight’s simple statement reduced my building fear to a mere shadow in the back of my mind, easily cutting through and allowing my to regain my composure, “That’s right, everypony there is either a friend or a family member of one. This will be easy.”

“Are you reassuring me or yourself?” Twilight teased, prompting me to resume our walk.

“Both,” I declared confidently.

“I wasn’t-”

“Tia may have been taught ten times the spells I learnt, but a silence spell is not beyond my power,” I warned.

“Really? Ten ti-” Twilight’s lips continued moving, but no sound escaped her mouth as my spell took effect.

“Glad to have your support,” I replied, ignoring the frustrated looks boring into the side of my head. She’d get her voice back soon enough.


A Few Minutes Later


“Twilight. Twilight. Twilight Sparkle,” I repeated, trying to get the silently screaming mare’s attention so I could remove my spell without frightening the family inside. Eventually I gave up and stuffed my hoof in my student’s mouth before dropping my spell, a muffled scream is better than one at full volume, “Twilight! Must you keep doing that?”

I received a blank stare until I removed my hoof, “I couldn’t hear myself, what kind of evil spell was that?”

“Evil? Was being mute so tortuous for you?” I asked in confusion.

“Yes, yes it was. It was almost like being trapped in my mind, I could see and feel but I couldn’t communicate. I started thinking about how much of my research would be lost without my ability to pass it on,” Twilight rambled a bit too quickly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would be so horrible for you. I’ve only ever used that spell for pranks...and received it as punishments. Oh Twilight, I’m so sorry,” I apologized, pulling the other mare into a hug.

“Uh, Luna?” Twilight asked after a moment.

“Yes?” I replied.

“AJ’s here.”

“Don’t y’all fret ‘bout me, Ah can see y’all’re havin’ a moment,” a rural voice responded from behind me.

“Miss Applejack, good to see you again,” I greeted as I released Twilight and turned to face the new arrival.

“Been awhile since somepony called me ‘miss.’ We’re all friends here, it’s just ‘AJ,’” Applejack corrected.

“AJ then, I hope you don’t mind me bringing Twilight. We were in the middle of finding some dinner when that pink abomination delivered your invitation,” I explained.

“Huh? Ah asked Pinkie ta get y’all, not Catrix,” Applejack replied, apparently confused as to which pink abomination I was referring to.

“Yes, Pinkie Pie. The one who abuses the laws of physics and magic. That’s the one I was talking about,” I confirmed.

“Yer funny princess, let’s get some grub,” Applejack laughed as she walked back inside, prompting Twilight and I to follow.

I followed the farm mare inside and was surprised to find three ponies bowing in a line just inside the door. Seeing the old mare that could only be Granny Smith struggling to maintain her prostrate position filled me with a sense of humility.

“Please, there’s no need to bow. Set aside the title I haven’t earned and see me for what I am, a friend and guest in your home,” I requested as I stepped forward and kneeled to help the elderly mare to her hooves, much to her surprise.

“Wow sis, you weren’t kidding when you said she was different,” the little one, Apple Bloom, commented.

“Eeyep,” the big one agreed. I blinked when the stallion stood to his full height and looked me in the eyes, he couldn’t have been more than six inches shorter than me.

“You must be Big Mac, I admit it isn’t often I find another as tall as myself,” I greeted, extending a hoof towards the stallion. The large male froze as he stared at my hoof, clearly unsure as to what he was supposed to do. After three seconds or so, I took the option from him and levitated his limp hoof to meet my own. A firm shake later and Big Mac had his hoof back.

“Geeze Mac, never seen you lock up like that before,” Apple Bloom giggled.

“I would assume there was a lingering confusion about the proper etiquette. You were unsure whether I would be offended by a simple hoofshake or if I would think kissing my hoof would be too forward,” I hinted, giving the stallion before me an easy way to maintain his pride.

“Eeyep, that,” Big Mac stumbled, flashing me a shy smile when his sisters turned away to prepare the table. My efforts to help didn’t fully save his pride however, the laughter coming from the kitchen was evidence of that.

“Always knew ya’d find yerself a good mare,” Granny Smith congratulated as she walked past, pausing just long enough to pat the stunned stallion on the shoulder before continuing.

“Before a bad idea can root, I’m married,” I stated when Big Mac’s head spun from his grandmother to me in horror, “But I have family too, sometimes it seems like they exist to embarrass us.”

“Eeyep,” Big Mac agreed gratefully.

“You know, ponies would know if you wore a ring,” Twilight suggested.

“Some day, but the curse of my birth prevents that for now. Damnable politics,” I spat.

“Eeyep,” Big Mac agreed again.

“Dinner’s ready, y’all coming?” Applejack asked loudly from the kitchen.

“Shall we?” I suggested, gesturing towards the doorway. I followed my oversized new friend into the kitchen and found a seat next to him when he sat, going as far as placing my hoof on top of his for his grandmother’s sake.

“Princess?” Twilight asked when she noticed my subtle action.

“Oh hush, do you have any idea how difficult it is for a single mare my size to find an eligible bachelor?” I asked with false terseness, throwing in a wink to clue my student in to my ploy.

“Right, I guess that makes sense,” Twilight replied, smiling a bit too wide as she tried to force herself to seem sincere. She was a terrible liar.

Roaring laughter broke the illusion though as Granny Smith slammed her hoof on the table, “Ah got you both! Ah can’t believe Ah tricked both of you.”

“Granny, what’s goin’ on?” Apple Bloom asked.

“She knows,” I groaned, removing my hoof from Big Mac’s to cover my face.

“‘Course Ah do, yer husband was invited first. Don’t take a genius ta figure out why AJ sent you an invite when he left,” the mare laughed.

“I know actual demons less diabolical than you,” I shot back.

“Is that so? But not all I hope, Ah could use the competition,” Granny Smith bragged.

“I’m sure something could be arranged,” I threatened jokingly.

“Bring it on Moonie, these old bones still got some fight in ‘em,” Granny challenged.

“Granny! No pickin’ fights at the table,” Applejack admonished.

“T’was all in good fun, I took no offense,” I reassured.

“Pshaw, y’all oughta know by now how old mares talk,” Granny replied with a wide smile that matched my own.

“Rainbow might be mah best friend and Ah’ve never talked ta her like that,” Applejack countered.

“Twilight, weren’t you just telling me about how Miss Dash was bragging about how she could outrace any old farm mare with both wings tied behind her back?” I baited.

“She what!? Ah’ll teach that braggart what racin’s all about,” Applejack declared defiantly, much to the amusement of the rest of us.

Now that I knew everypony and my anxiety had evaporated, I could laugh and make merry with my dining fellows freely. And so I did through half of our meal, right until we all went quiet at the sound of the front door opening.

“Yer late,” Applejack accused before the new arrival was even visible.

“Sorry all, I hustled back as fast as I could,” Jay’s voice apologized from the entryway.

“Food’s ‘bout cold by now,” Applejack warned as Jay walked in and took a seat next to me.

“You caught that I normally eat dirt, right? Real food is a gift by itself,” Jay replied as he accepted a plate and utensils. I was mildly surprised to see him actually use a fork to eat rather than just absorbing everything like he usually did. It wasn’t long before my look was noticed, “I do have manners, even if I don’t use them very often.”

“You do?” I asked in mock disbelief.

“Ah’ve never seen ‘im use anythin’ but a knife and fork,” Applejack rebutted.

“Huh, interesting,” I replied with a pointed look at the bioform beside me.

“Are you going to pester me about my eating habits or are you curious at all about that light?” Jay asked.

“Fine, what was it?” I relented. This wasn’t over.

“Nope, too late. You gotta tell me what’s new around here first,” Jay demanded.

“Not much, I waited too long before talking with Twilight and Pinkie invited us to a party tonight before reappearing with the invite to dinner,” I summarized.

“A party you say? Where?” Jay pressed.

“Vinyl’s club,” Twilight answered.

“Jay, yer stayin here,” Applejack declared.

“Whatever,” Jay replied with an exaggerated eye roll.

“Why’s that?” I asked curiously.

“That personality of his would derail parties even before he was openly changin’ shape, gonna be worse now. Y’all should see a Pinkie Party without the chaos this one brings first,” Applejack explained.

“Try’n stop me, party crashing is a time honored tradition among my people. It would be an insult not to show up uninvited,” Jay argued.

“We shall see. Now about that light,” I prompted.

“Some unicorn was messing around with runes, apparently he’s allergic to them or something,” Jay explained.

“Impossible,” Twilight and I said in unison.

“Yep, but there it was. I even tested it myself, shit exploded right in front of me,” Jay insisted.

“There must have been some other factor,” Twilight pressed.

“Ask Arcane Quill, I was just there to get him to stop trying to use runes,” Jay deflected.

“Arcane Quill can’t use runes anymore? I should send him something, he must be really upset about that,” Twilight responded sadly.

“You know him?” I asked.

“We’ve met a few times, he was a researcher at Princess Celestia’s school. His focus was on runes, it was his life,” Twilight explained.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“First Flash and now Arcane? You really get around Twilight,” I commented slyly.

“Jekyll, Bloom knows better than ta repeat what ya say but that’s a might bit far,” Applejack warned as Twilight blushed and tried to hide her reddening face behind her mane.

“I don’t get it, why would that be bad? Miss Cheerilee has a field trip to Canterlot planned, will that make me bad?” Apple Bloom asked worriedly.

“Nah, you’re fine. I was making a joke about how many friends little Twilight here has and implying that she had-”

“That’s enough,” Luna interrupted. Twilight was now trying her best to imitate Fluttershy in the way she was attempting to hide under the table.

“A few special someponies,” I continued anyway.

“Oh, I get it now. You were comparing Miss Twilight to Miss Catrix,” Apple Bloom announced, silencing the rest of the table.

“Before I get kicked through a window, did you learn that before or after the spider thing?” I asked hurriedly as both Applejack and Mac rose with murder in their eyes.

“Waaayyy before, she was there when we met Harry,” Apple Bloom answered, oblivious to her siblings’ rage.

“You really shouldn’t talk to her without an Jay or myself around,” Luna advised before catching the rest of the sentence, “Wait, you’ve met Harry?”

“What’s hairy? Are those damned timberwolves back?” Granny asked, a broom already in her hoof.

“Simmer down Granny, the only pest Ah see is sittin’ at our table,” Applejack replied angrily.

“AJ, the line was crossed months ago. You can buck Cat to the moon if you want, but this one isn’t on me,” I stated firmly, hoping I got through to the pair.

“No more, you watch that tongue of yers,” Applejack warned, prompting my tongue to slither up and press into my right eye.

“Howth that?” I slurred.

“Smartflank, you know what Ah mean,” Applejack spat, holding her angry expression just long enough for Apple Bloom to see she meant business before cracking a smile and sitting back down.

“Well now that I’ve all but ruined my relationship with this family, you were telling us about this Arcane fellow?” I prompted, trying to shift the attention off myself.

“That’s about all I know. He loved working with runes and he was pushing for more funding to expand is research. That’s about it,” Twilight confessed.

“You didn’t hear about the mess with his family?” I asked.

“No, are they alright?”

“In short, no. If you two were friends, I’d suggest writing him a letter,” I replied.

“But what happened?” Twilight pressed.

“Not my place to say,” I responded.

“Jay, tell her what you know,” Luna ordered.

I sighed before telling the others what I had been told, “His father went batshit and tried to kill his entire family, got his mother and nearly got him.”

“Stars above,” Luna commented quietly as Applejack removed her hat and pressed it to her chest in sympathy.

“Is he okay? Where is he? Should I send a letter or flowers? I don’t know how to handle this,” Twilight rambled, clearly more affected than the rest of us.

“Where is the father now?” Luna asked, a tinge of anger in her voice.

“I have no idea, didn’t ask. I’d assume he’s in custody,” I replied, shrugging.

“Good,” Luna and Applejack spat. Twilight was still fumbling over how to comfort her friend or coworker, whatever they were.

“If you really want to help him, get your brother to have the bastard transferred to the local post for holding. He wouldn’t be the first I tossed in the best prison on Equis, not the worst reason either,” I offered.

“I-I think I should talk to Arcane first,” Twilight responded after a few seconds to think.

“A wise idea, it is neither of our places to decide what should happen to that monster,” Luna praised.

“And that’s why I tried to avoid saying anything,” I griped.

“I don’t believe one can have too much information on these things,” Luna replied.

“Trust me, you can have too much information,” I warned. I had far too much knowledge about my friends, even if they didn’t realize I remembered.

“I would argue, but I’m sure you have an example ready,” Luna relented.

“Well over a hundred, and that’s just counting the ones we both know and excluding Cat,” I replied.

“Anything that would ruin friendships?” Luna asked.

“Eight,” I answered.

“Wow. Leave those out when I pester you later,” Luna ordered with a smile.

“Your funeral,” I sighed, finally noticing that our little aside had distracted the rest of our little gathering and they were all now holding back laughter.

“Dontcha go tellin’ nothin’ ‘bout me, Ah don’t wanna hear ‘bout it,” Granny demanded.

“You don’t wanna hear? What ‘bout the rest of us bein’ scarred fer life?” Applejack pressed, though she was still smiling.

“Ah wasn’t that crazy-” Granny attempted.

“You burned my house down, with lemons,” I pointed out.

“Where else was Ah supposed ta get my cookin’ cutie mark? Ma wouldn’t let me use our kitchen ta bake that pie,” Granny replied defensively.

“Granny! LEMONS” Applejack asked in horror, even Mac was staring at his grandmother in shock.

“Youth is fer experimentin’, you oughta know that Miss-Run-Off-Ta-Manehattan,” Granny shot back.

“Whoa, no need to get personal,” Luna interjected, trying in vain to diffuse the building argument.

“Leave them be, families fight,” I advised as I placed my hand on Luna’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Should we go?” Twilight asked, sharing Luna’s clear discomfort with the situation.

“Eeyep, they’ll be at this fer an hour or two ‘fore they make up,” Mac replied, staunchly staying out of the fight going on around him now that he had recovered from the fact that a member of his family had consorted with another fruit.

“Does this happen often?” Luna asked as Mac led us to the door.

“Eenope, but it’s been comin’ fer a while now. Lotta tension can build on a farm. Gets outta control sometimes. Tempers get short, fights happen, and we’re strong as ever after,” Mac responded optimistically.

“No wounds. I don’t care what they scream at each other, but no cuts or bruises,” I ordered.

“Yessir,” Mac replied before he could catch himself. I knew Jonagold far too well.

“I know, but it’s the right thing to do anyway,” I rebutted before Mac could say his typical argument.

“Eeyep,” Mac grumbled as we reached the door.

Luna and Twilight left the house in a hurry once the food started flying, leaving Mac and I to get pelted with stray peas and a full plate of apple fritters. I stopped when I was halfway out the door and turned to look back at the only male in the household.

“Ah fuck it. Come here Mac, there’s something I need to tell you,” I instructed, waving him outside where it was quieter.

“Come Twilight, this isn’t for us,” Luna stated, leading Twilight down the path.

I took a breath to stall while I thought about what to say, “Mac, I know I’m not your father, I don’t have one single illusion about that, and I’m not trying to take his place. Jona was one hell of a farmer, and a damn good stallion to boot. I can’t compete with that, I won’t even try. But I look in there and I see you filling his shoes, being the rock this family needs, and I’ll be damned if I’m not proud.

“It’s not like the pride you have in these fields, it’s the pride a parent feels, the pride I feel when Tzu takes charge and accomplishes something I’ve never considered, the pride I feel when Dopple sets a trap for me to blunder into, the pride I’m sure you feel when Bloom builds something. I’m not your father, he was better than me, but you’re better than both of us and I’m damn proud of you for it. I’m sorry, I just needed to say that.”

Mac stood stock still while I rambled and for nearly a minute after I finished, only opening his mouth to speak when I started to turn away, “Wait.”

“I’ll go if you want me to, I get that I went kinda far,” I offered.

“Eenope, ya said what ya meant and meant what ya said,” Mac began before slowing down to be as clear as possible, a sign he was deadly serious, “I thought you were a coward for hiding and I still don’t fully understand why you did, but I know that a coward wouldn’t say anything like that. A coward would’ve kept walking. Yer a fool Jekyll, but yer an honest one when it counts an’ Ah can respect that. Don’t be a stranger now, Ah’m just startin’ ta warm up to ya.”

“Thanks Mac, I’ll see you around,” I replied with a smile before turning fully to catch up to Luna and Twilight.

“How did it go?” Luna asked when I met up with them.

“I didn’t get kicked in the face or thrown off the property, I’d say it went well,” I responded.

“Jay,” Luna began.

“Yes?” I asked.

“You’re smiling past your ears, it’s creepy,” Luna noted.

“Yeah, hold on,” I agreed, already adjusting my facial features to be less flexible.

“Is Big Ma-” Twilight managed before she was drowned out by the sound of an explosion. On reflex, I tackled both of the ponies and sheltered them under a layer of armor as dense as I could make it. When no more concussive sounds followed, I climbed off and allowed them to stand.

“The fuck was that?” Luna asked, her head whipping around for the source of the noise.

“It might’ve been Pinkie’s party cannon,” Twilight proposed as she climbed to her hooves.

“Or Gilda refusing my offer,” I replied grimly.

“Offer?” Luna asked, her eyes narrowing.

“Assassin, sent after the Element bearers and me. Gave it up when I told her Dash was on her list, or so I thought,” I growled.

“No elder, my guns remain unfired,” Gilda answered as she emerged from her hiding place in the bushes.

“Are you following me?” I asked.

“Yes,” Gilda replied.

“Planning to drop me first? Keep me from interfering with the rest?” I guessed.

“Originally yes, but now I’m more bored than anything. Your little adventures are fun to watch,” Gilda explained.

“While you’re here, let me see that musket of yours,” I requested.

“I suppose I won’t need it anymore,” Gilda reasoned as she unslung the weapon and passed it to me. Luna continued glaring at the gryphon, unhappy about being near another assassin.

I slid a tendril down the barrel to confirm my suspicions about her ‘special bullet’ and found exactly what I expected, “Laced with the cure, of course it is. Dopple you brilliant piece of shit, stop giving away my damn secrets.”

“So it really can-” Luna began before another explosion rang out, this one coming from the musket in my hands and was directed into my chest


Perspective Change: Luna


The first thing I noticed was the pain, being this close to one of those things going off was particularly painful.

“Ow, my ears,” I complained as I struggled to make sense of what just happened. Was there an accident? When my eyes finally found Jay, he was still pointing the pipe end of the weapon at himself. My vision shrank as my mind made unwelcome connections, a single pervasive thought hanging in my mind. ‘He’s admitted to being suicidal in the past and that bitch gave him a weapon that could kill him.’ “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

I jumped forward and tried to search out the vile liquid, only finding bits of dead flesh around the impact but tearing away much more in my search for the toxin killing my husband. A gentle hand found my chest and pushed me away, providing enough distraction to end my barrage of spells and telekinetic tugging, “Relax, it’s not enough to actually kill me. But I need to know how much damage one of these can do in case I face them again.”

“By the fucking stars, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Can’t you see what that looked like? Don’t do that to me! I’d never recover if you killed yourself,” I continued, my voice softening with every word until I was almost whispering. That was too much for me to handle, and now I was stuck with millions of what if’s and the horrible outcomes that came with them. I wanted nothing more than to teleport somewhere secluded and cry, but my grief was already fading. A burning, scorching anger was slowly taking its place.

“Sorry, I didn’t think about what it would look like. Hold up,” Jay began before coughing up the bullet and a small amount of dead flesh, “Okay, so not a lot of damage. Gonna need some real meat to make up for that though.”

“Jekyll,” I began tersely. Keeping my promise to not hit him had never been so hard before.

“Luna?”

“Don’t do that again. I’m not sure you’re welcome in our room tonight either, not until you understand why that hurt me,” I declared, settling for what I could get. But if he touched me right now, all bets were off.

“I understand, I just didn’t think about it beyond assessing the potential threat. Again, I’m sorry,” Jay replied. That made me pause for a brief moment. He really did sound remorseful and I knew he had a habit of focusing on the military side of things more than the emotional, but I had to be sure.

“If you ‘understand’ then why?” I pressed, feeling my expression soften slightly despite my efforts to maintain my visage.

The answer I requested came in the form of a, seemingly melted, bioform sloughing over my back to hang next to my neck, “It’s cus you wuv me and never want me to go.”

“You dweebs have officially raised the bar on dweebdom, no pony, gryphon, minotaur, or otherwise will ever be as dweebish as you,” Gilda announced.

“Ask me if I care,” Jay replied.

“How is my back not broken, did you mess with my bones too?” I wondered, barely feeling the weight at all. At this point, I couldn’t doubt the possibility.

“I’m holding myself up,” Jay answered, prompting me to look over my shoulders and see blobish extensions reaching the ground on either side of me.

“Of course you are. Liquid or not, you always seem to have something up your sleeve,” I sighed.

“Did we ever figure out what that original sound was?” Twilight asked, bringing the rest of us back on task.

“Wasn’t me,” Gilda repeated.

“Pinkie did say we would know when it was time to go to the party,” I pointed out, grateful for the change of topic.

“Shitty way of getting our attentions,” Jay commented.

“Agreed, but I’m about done trying to understand that demon,” I spat.

“I told you-” Jay began.

“-Down that way lies madness, I know,” I snapped.

“So are we gonna stand here whining like a bunch of newborns or are you going to party?” Gilda asked.

“We shall party until our frowns become smiles,” I declared as I started walking, unhindered by the blob resting on my back and thus determined to ignore it.

“Lu, you’re forgetting something,” Jay teased.

I looked back to make sure Twilight was still following, she had been quiet lately and I didn’t intend to lose her. I made a mental note to talk to her later and see what was wrong. But at present, she was still following along.

“What is it now?” I asked irritably.

“We’re going to a club. Clubs are for dancing,” Jay pointed out as he slid off my back and resumed his normal shape, but this time he was wearing a simple outfit of torn blue pants and a short black coat that barely reached past his waist. A silver chain was knitted together on his right wrist as I watched, finishing the look of an outfit built to accent the one made for me.

“So it is, so it is,” I agreed absently. Mentally, I was searching for where I had stashed my only set of clothes. As soon as I found the storeroom they were hidden in, a bright flash removed them and an accompanying flash deposited them onto my frame. A perfect object teleport, no merging or otherwise ill effects.

“I take it all back, but you two wear the dweeb disguise well,” Gilda commented approvingly.

“Heh, gonna prove that tonight,” Jay replied with an evil smirk, reminding me of Appljack’s warning.

“Jay, I want you to promise me that I won’t see you disrupting this party,” I requested.

“Done,” Jay replied instantly.

“That easy? I was expecting to have to fight you over that,” I asked.

“That easy,” Jay confirmed, I didn’t like the mischievous look in his eyes though.

“Well, now that that’s covered, shall we?” I asked, holding out my hoof.

“We shall,” Jay agreed, taking my hoof and leading our little group to the appropriate building.


Sixteen Seconds Later


“I fucking hate it here, this garbage isn’t even music!” I shouted, barely even able to hear myself. I had never heard of a sound system that could overpower the Royal Canterlot Voice, or the Royal Address Volume as I knew it from before. Or rather, I wasn’t surprised that I hadn’t heard of it, I was surprised that I hadn’t heard it before now. With Twilight and the gryphon disappearing soon after we walked inside, I was left alone with Jay and that obscene noise pounding in my ears.

“Me too, but I have a plan,” Jay responded with a hand on the back of my neck.

“Jay, you promised,” I warned.

“And I’m keeping that promise, you won’t see me disrupt this party,” Jay replied happily before ending the connection. By the time I turned to throw him an irritated glare, he had disappeared as well.

With nothing else to do and no ability to talk to anypony else, I wandered over to the small bar to the left of the main doors and found a seat.

I opened my mouth to speak to the bartender, a tall unicorn with a neon green mane and orange coat that glowed under the strange lights in this bizarre building, but the pony just pointed to a shaped piece of rubber in his ear and levitated a pencil and paper onto the table before me.

I looked at the menu in vain for a few seconds before giving up and ordering a straight whiskey, mostly because it was the only name I knew. The cold liquid burned as it went down and I wondered briefly why why Jay preferred this stuff, right until I saw the Apple Family Farms logo proudly emblazoned on the bottle and answered my own question.

I continued absently sipping at my drink while I waited for whatever it was Jay had planned, even getting to the point where I wasn’t grimacing at the burn every time. Now that I was used to it, the flavor was rather pleasant.

“Ah, thanks love,” a white stallion with a green mane said during a brief lull in the noise as he took my drink right out of my telekinetic grip and downed it in one gulp before throwing the empty glass into the crowd. As the stallion wandered away from my stunned expression, I caught a glimpse of his compatriots.

‘Triplets? No, that one’s older. Still, three ponies with green fur and orange manes in one place?’ I thought as I regarded the group in greater detail. All of them were earth ponies, and one word sprang to the forefront of my mind as I looked at them: hoodlums.

Now that I could see more of the thief than his face and hoof, I noticed that he was walking on three legs. The stallion’s right foreleg was occupied with holding an oddly shaped walking stick that was a bit too tall and had a battered knob at the end. Again, the first thing to come to mind wasn’t good. Weapon.

The large crowd near the stage quickly learned to get out of the gang’s way when the first pony that tried to stop them ended up unconscious in a puddle of beer and surrounded by broken bits of pitcher. I got up from my stool and got ready to intervene when they reached the security guards posted at the edge of the stage, but all it took was a wave of that vicious looking club for the security to back off and let them pass.

“What is going on here?” I asked, knowing nopony could hear me.

I left my stool once more when the thugs approached the blue maned unicorn running the show, this time I foresaw violence. The mare wasn’t backing down like her security and I should see her shouting become more animated as she fought to keep her stage. I prepared a teleport when that knobbly black club came up again to threaten the mare, eventually turning towards her equipment when the white furred miscreant didn’t get the results he was expecting.

While I couldn’t see through the purple tinted lenses of her glasses, I could almost feel her eyes widen as her expression became one of fear. Her head dropped sadly as her horn glowed and the noise stopped, much to the dismay of the other patrons. I remained focused on the four hooligans as the mare, who I could only assume was Vinyl based on her reactions, walked off her own stage in defeat.

“Alrighty lads and lassies, enough of that bollocks. Any ah ye know what Ah see lookin’ ‘round this hole?” the leader asked, speaking with an accent I couldn’t place. It was somewhat similar to Pepper’s, but not quite. It was foreign for sure though.

“Ah see a dance floor, Ah see a bah, Ah see too many o’ ye witout so much as a pint o’ da bleck shtuff in ye. ‘Oh no, but dis is a clob,’ Ah hear ye say. Hogwash, dis is a pub. An’ a pub needs a real pub song once in ahwhile, ye can ‘ave yer normal shite back in a bit,” the leader continued as the others produces instruments from...somewhere.

A strange flute-like object was produced from the leader’s green mane before he started off their song with a bouncy yet calm melody.

The group of confusing stallions managed their first verse of unintelligible lyrics before one of the partiers in the crowd decided to voice their outrage, “Hey-”

The rest of the pony’s complaint was drowned out by the strange band kicking their tune into a more aggressive version of the same.

“That’s not Equestrian music,” I noted after I managed to catch a few of the lines, “Jay you cheating bastard, I’ll get you for this.”

“Did ye like that un lads? No? Fook you too. Tell ye wut, one more an’ we’ll give ye back yer stupid fookin’ clob. Ye ready lads, let’s do this. An’ a one, an’ a two, an’ a one, two, tree, four…”

This time they dropped their accent and any pretense of being ponies in the way they jumped around the stage on their hind legs as their next and final song began, the unfamiliar dinging sound apparently coming from nowhere.

The leader, who could only be Jekyll, found the microphone with both of his forehooves and held his muzzle scant inches from the device as he stomped his right hind leg to the beat absently while shouting his aggressive song. Just as many of the patrons turned to leave, the word ‘change’ heralded the lights going out for the barest of moments.

“Oh my stars,” I commented, my eyes locked on the stage. The foreign hoodlums had been replaced with my own sister and three of her guards with no change to the voice singing. Another line with the word ‘change’ and I was staring at a copy of myself, complete with the outfit I was currently wearing, accompanied by Lily, Catrix, and Twilight, “Now that’s just unfair, ponies are really going to think that was me.”

Another bout of darkness, a new set of musicians. Again and again, every time the chorus played they would become somepony or something else. There were demons and dragons and ponies from town, occasionally all of these at once. At one point it was all done by one of the giant spiders we had fought. If nothing else, it was an entertaining show. With the outro, the lights began flashing as the group on stage went back through all the disguises they had used in reverse order; ending with their real appearances.

“Thank you all for putting up with that, you may have your wubs back now,” Jay announced gratefully as he bowed to the audience. I soon lost him in the crowd however, and it was a long time before he finally returned to where I was sitting.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Enjoy the show?” I asked as I slid into the almost completely hidden booth. I wouldn’t have noticed it at all if I hadn’t taken the stage, nor would I have noticed who was sitting in it.

“I did actually, it was rather refreshing,” my companion replied.

“So what brings you here this time Dee? Making a play at taking my title, or something more mundane?” I pressed.

“Neutral ground right? This town has meaning to both of us, it should be protected by both of us,” Dopple answered.

“I’ve got that covered, you can pull your troops out,” I stated, it wasn’t a request.

“No troops, just me and you holding this ground like old times,” Dopple clarified.

“I must be getting soft in my old age-”

“You are, I’m still alive.”

“-but alright, just keep your distance from the others. If one of them disappears or comes back with that poison you’re pedaling in their system, I will ruin this land killing you if I have to,” I threatened, ignoring the interruption entirely.

“Wasn’t planning on it, might even extend a truce. You don’t hunt my free enforcers and I don’t free any more, for now,” Dopple offered.

“And what do you gain from that?” I pressed, not seeing any incentive for this truce.

“I have reasons, things I know that you don’t,” Dopple teased.

“You are still made from my biology, I am still your progenitor and I can still dig through your mind,” I pointed out.

“And we were doing so well. Let’s set that aside and just be friends again for a while, please? I don’t understand why, but I’ve missed this,” Dopple requested, almost begging.

“The funny thing is, I have too. Tzu’s doing remarkably well, but he doesn’t have your opinionated nature. He doesn’t question me, it’s kinda annoying,” I agreed, waving in an attempt to get the staff’s attention.

“You get what you put into it. The India is still an India at heart, he won’t be the proxy you want for a long time yet,” Dopple predicted.

“At the rate he’s learning, I’d give it a week or two,” I countered.

“Wanna make that bet official? I’ll wager one thousand free enforcers on him not matching my style in two weeks,” Dopple declared.

“Five, and the loser has to publicly admit he was wrong,” I raised.

“Deal,” Dopple agreed.

Any further conversation was interrupted by a server finally appearing at our table and taking our drink requests. Unsurprisingly, it was two straight whiskeys.

“At least I taught you how to drink properly, you ungrateful little shit,” I joked.

“Stuff it up your ass you slaving megalomaniac,” Dopple shot back.

“Oh shut your cock hole, you know damn well why I keep you all on such a short leash. Fucking hell Dee, it was YOUR FUCKING IDEA!” I shouted, more to drive my point than overpower the music. From where the booth was located, the volume was fairly reasonable.

“I was scared of myself, I didn’t want to kill everyone! You were too damnit. Times have changed Dad, we’re not the potential time bombs we used to be. I’m okay with dying in this fight because at least you’d know we could be trusted to make decent decisions!”

“Like Fang makes decent decisions when he decides the world doesn’t have enough ‘bloodflowers’?” I countered.

“He’s the only one out of hundreds of thousands of us and you keep us chained over that one insane monster?” Dopple exclaimed in exasperation.

“He was fine once, and I intend to stick to our original plan. When an enforcer develops their own personality and ethics that are stable and compatible with life on this world, I will remove their control genes and release them to do whatever they wish within the bounds of the law,” I insisted, “It’s a good plan.”

“It was a good plan, but we’ve evolved and it doesn’t fit us anymore,” Dopple argued.

“Is that so? Or could it be that you’ve developed to that point and are pushing your situation onto others? Romeo Five-Eight-Three-dash-Two is just another robot right now, doing whatever he’s told and nothing else. Is he ready to wander the streets of Manehattan by himself? Would you trust him not to eat somepony because his biomass levels dropped below the standard he’s always known?” I shot back, making my opponent look away, “That’s what I thought. You’re all still children, my job is to get you ready for the world before turning you loose to make your own way.”

“Six hundred years though? Am I still so young to you? I’ve watched so many live from birth to death already, how can you call me a child?” Dopple asked, but the fire was gone. He just wanted answers now, answers I was happy to give.

“I’ll call you a child to my dying breath you ignorant twat, it’s what parents do,” I replied with a light cuff to his ear.

“You...Really?” Dopple stammered in disbelief.

“You may be rebelling, you may be causing the deaths of so many of your brothers and sisters, but you’re still my oldest and I can’t forget that. I actually confessed this to Mac just a little while ago, I’m still proud of you. You’re a brilliant tactician, even better than me, I know because I keep finding your little traps and schemes. Like you giving the cure to Equestria’s enemies, brilliant move. I’ll have a real fight on my hands when they invade now. Heh, a real fight, not even sure what that means anymore. Still, it was inspired and you deserve the praise,” I explained in my own rambling way, leaving Dopple speechless for several seconds.

“Are you insane? No, really, have you lost your mind?” Dopple asked.

A perfect setup, almost as cliché as saying he was hungry. On command, the top of my head popped open as though it was on a hinge and exposed a likeness of a human brain. I pulled it out and examined it before responding, “Hmm, nope, still got it.”

“Uuuugh, seriously? You really have gone off the deep end,” Dopple groaned.

“It’s called a ‘dad joke’ for a reason, it comes with the title. But really, I’m still as sane as when you left. Fighting you isn’t what I want to do, and I don’t think you want to have this fight either. You said yourself that you missed this, I have too. I’ve missed your ugly mug reporting on what the others were doing; not because of how you did it, but because it was you that was talking to me. You’re my oldest Dee, you’ve been there since the start of the enforcers, I don’t want to lose you over some stupid fight,” I responded soberly before stopping to take a sip from my, previously unnoticed, drink.

“So what’s your solution then? Find some way of removing the bombs in me and I just go back on your leash?” Dopple spat, his tone hardening again.

“I can remove the bombs, I have in another. As for the control genes, you’ve proved you’re responsible enough to live without them. My offer is this: I remove the chains that hold you now and place no new ones on you, in return you tell me who is pulling the strings and where I can find them. You could live your own life, free from my influence or any other. This isn’t me settling, you’ve earned it by the system you designed,” I offered.

“And the others? What about them?” Dopple pressed.

“From what I’ve seen so far, your attempt at a coup has jumpstarted their development. They’d be rounded up and individually examined before either returning to the fold to grow some more, being released to make their own choices...or being recycled. I hope to never have to do that last one again, but one Fang is enough and I won’t have monsters running around with our abilities,” I stated firmly.

“I...I don’t know. It’s tempting for sure, and it makes sense when you consider the risks we pose by simply existing. I suppose this is the part where you tell me to make my choice, you or them? Family or strangers, freedom or enslavement. I don’t know which is which anymore. Fuck you Dad, why did you have to make this confusing?” Dopple complained.

“If you stand by your word and follow the rules of staying in Ponyville, you could give me your answer ten thousand years from now and it would be accepted. But once you make that choice, I’ll expect you to honor it,” I replied.

Dopple fell silent as he thought about my offer, quickly downing his drink and motioning for another. And another. And another. Eventually he gave up and took the bottle, drinking the whole thing in one motion.

“Woah there tiger, don’t go too crazy,” I cautioned, still on my first drink.

“I’m paying the tab, I’ll drink as much as I want,” Dopple spat semi-drunkenly.

“Just trying to keep you able to walk,” I defended, raising my hands innocently.

“Another one!” Dopple ordered, shaking the empty bottle for emphasis. Once he had a fresh bottle, he returned his attention to me and took slower sips so he could speak, “So what’s the deal with the whore?”

“Cat? You know how long we’ve been friends, she’s just a part of life at this point,” I replied, confused.

“No, no, not the whore, the whore. The bitch’s sister,” Dopple clarified.

“Luna? She’s not like that,” I argued.

“Liar,” Dopple accused, “I hear things about you two, how you share a bed every night, how you secretly got married, how she never leaves your side, how she admitted it two days ago.”

“Congratulations, you know we’ve fucked. That doesn’t make her a whore,” I insisted.

“Sure does, ‘cause you’re, like, a tentacle monster behind that stupid face. So Imma keep callin’ ‘em like I see’s ‘em, she’s a gold diggin’ whore,” Dopple slurred. It took a lot to not take his words personally, I knew it was his drunken state fueling this tirade against the sister of the one he was raised hating.

“Luna isn’t Chelly, Dee, she’s kind and honest. If she needs to relax, I’m willing to help. And since you brought it up, I’ll have you know it was nothing like what you’re implying,” I rebutted.

“Beh, not like I’ll ever know. Someone thought Best Defense would be more convincing if he lost a few pieces in his fights. Someone decided I needed to match his fucked up look. SOMEONE made me a damn eunuch,” Dopple complained loudly.

“Is that what this is about? I can put it all back,” I offered.

“Fer what price?” Dopple demanded.

“Either your reason for the truce or anything else you deem fair,” I declared.

“No funny business?” Dopple asked.

“None,” I reaffirmed.

“Dad, will you please take away all these scars and deformities?” Dopple requested politely, clearly fighting through his drunkenness. I briefly wondered if he would be in for a shock when he looked in a mirror tomorrow, he was drunk enough to be in the middle of a blackout.

“Absolutely,” I replied, accepting his request as his payment. I leaned across the table and placed a single hand on his shoulder, easily establishing more than enough contact to alter his form. Less than a second later, it was done and the gryphon before me scarcely resembled the monster hunter the world knew as Best Defense.

“Thanksh Dad,” Dopple managed before he lost consciousness. He would’ve landed face first on the table, but his beak hit first and held up the rest of his head. I laughed quietly at the scene before sliding out of the booth and picking up the passed out bioform, this would make for a funny story later. With my renegade son draped over one shoulder, I finally walked off to find Luna.


A Few Minutes Later


“Can’t say I’m surprised to find you here,” I commented, looking between Luna and the many empty cups surrounding her, “I can say I’m surprised to find you drunk.”

“My face is numb and my tummy hurts, I wanna go home,” Luna whined.

“Alright, come on,” I agreed, using several tendrils to pull Luna onto my opposite shoulder. Now that I had my intoxicated wife and son’s heads safely hanging down by my back, I set off for Abaddon while inwardly questioning why I was the sober one.

“Whosat?” Luna asked, noticing she wasn’t the only one being carried.

“Don’t worry about it tonight, I’ll fill you in tomorrow,” I placated, causing Luna to fall limp once more.

“Kay, jus’ don’t let ‘im mess wit me. I don’ wanna end up like Lily,” Luna slurred tiredly, her words getting through to Dopple’s addled mind.

“What happened to Lily? I like Lily, she’s sweet,” Dopple asked.

“She is sweet, ‘cept when that gryphon raped ‘er. Then she was bitter,” Luna revealed. In public.

“Nooo, really? Where is he? I’ll kill ‘im myself,” Dopple raged as best he could.

“Jay got ‘im already, ‘e’s a pile a’ ash now. Jus’ a bit a’ ash floatin’ on the wind,” Luna replied, waving her hoof around as though it was caught in a breeze.

“Good, but how’s sweet Lily doin’? Is she okey?” Dopple pressed.

“She’s better now that she doesn’t remember a thing,” Luna answered. I had taken a side street as soon as Lily became their topic of discussion in the hopes of keeping them from doing any more damage, so I let them talk it out.

“Wha? You wiped her memory? You can do that?” Dopple asked in awe.

“Nah, Jay had ta do some crazy mumbo jumbo in ‘er head ta block it. But we gotta be reeeeal careful ‘cause it might still be there. ‘E didn’t wanna do it either, she had ta beg for us ta do it,” Luna explained.

“Wow, can’t believe I missed that,” Dopple replied, turning somber, “Am I that drunk or are you Luna?”

“Thas me,” Luna replied happily, “You are drunk though.”

“So’re you,” Dopple shot back.

“Ah know, an Imma feel it tomorrow,” Luna groaned.

“I’m sorry I called you a whore, you’re nice,” Dopple apologized.

“Yer nice too, wanna be drunk friends?” Luna asked.

“Oh yeah, drunk friends forever!” Dopple cheered. I couldn’t help laughing at the way the two enemies hanging off of me were bonding over being drunk.

“Oh no, I don’t know yer name yet. Can’t be drunk friends if I don’t know yer name,” Luna lamented.

“I’m Dopple, but Dad usually calls me Dee, You can too if ya want,” Dopple greeted happily, extending a talon towards Luna. My entire focus moved to the conversation on my back as I grew apprehensive about Luna’s reaction, mainly because I didn’t want to drop her if she tried to get away.

“Nice to finally meet ya, are ya done bein’ a cunt?” Luna asked as she took the rogue’s talon. ‘Where did she learn that? I don’t say that one.’

“I dunno yet, but Dad says I can stay in Ponyville as long as I don’t break any of his dumb rules,” Dopple replied, apparently not taking any offense from Luna’s language.

Luna nodded sagely as she considered the agreement for a long while, “Better follow ‘em then, Jay knows things.”

“It’s spooky, right? Like, how?” Dopple agreed.

“I pay attention,” I replied, causing both of them to jump in surprise.

“Where did you come from?” Dopple asked.

“I’ve been carrying both of you the whole time,” I deadpanned.

“I must be drunker than I thought,” Luna commented.

“You both are,” I replied.

“How do ya know Lily?” Luna asked, once again forgetting about my existence.

“Lucky an’ Silver would leave her an’ her sisters with Dad an’ me sometimes, somethin’ ‘bout ‘alone time.’ Whatever, they called me Cousin before…” Dopple trailed off as he started crying.

“Hey, hey, it’ll be alright. I was a real cunt too an’ everypony fergave me,” Luna comforted.

“You think so? I’d like that,” Dopple sobbed as he reached over and pulled Luna into a hug. I stopped walking to memorize the day alcohol ended a civil war.

Luna and Dopple continued talking about random topics and ponies they both knew as I walked the rest of the way to Abaddon and sent a silent order for the enforcers to stand down and that Dopple was to be watched but otherwise ignored. From there it was a long trip to the deck without my wings, as I had to climb up Abaddon’s leg with just my arms.

Once we were on the deck, I casually carried my intoxicated fellows to Luna’s and my room. After setting Luna on the bed, I built another to set Dopple on before climbing in on Luna’s opposite side to allow them to continue their conversation. Eventually sleep found the two of them and I was left alone to try something different.

While every cell functioned as part of my brain, I could control how much was devoted to actually processing information. My first attempt involved dropping that level down to the amount of a normal human or pony. Unsurprisingly, this just left me feeling stupid for trying. My second test was to let my cells fire whenever they pleased, dropping my usually strict neurological functions to random levels throughout my body.

“Well, that was unexpected,” I commented as parts of my body began shifting between their normal state and lying as a tangle of tendrils with no real pattern. On a whim, I allowed this chaotic, yet seemingly harmless, shifting to encompass the rest of my body.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in a field of tendrils next to a swaying tree that appeared to be made of different different body parts. I soon found myself intrigued by this unnatural sight and moved closer, “Woo, what’s this place?”

“Luna? What are you doing here?” I asked, turning to face the alicorn.

“Uh, making sure you have good dreams. Kinda my job, duh,” Luna slurred.

“Interesting, it seems I’ve figured out how to fall asleep at will,” I noted.

“Sure, whatever. Good for you and all that. Wanna bang?” Luna rambled so drunkenly that I almost missed her question.

“In a dream, while you’re drunk, when your real body is right next to mine? That sounds like a damn terrible idea,” I rebutted, sensing the possibility of catastrophic repercussions.

Suddenly Luna was right in front of me and placing her hoof over my lips, “Jay Jay, Jay, Jay Jay, Jay, Jay Jay, Jay, JayJayJayJay, don’t worry about it, I can keep you from moving in your sleep. I do it all the time with ponies that have night terrors.”

“You’re still drunk,” I insisted.

“I’ve been drunk before,” Luna countered.

“You aren’t in your right mind, it isn’t right,” I argued.

“So?” Luna asked.

“What do you mean ‘so?’ I’m saying no this time,” I stated as clearly as possible. Luna stared at me for several seconds before my world spun. When I could see clearly again, my hooves were chained to the swaying tree. As I got my bearings and looked around, I found I was back in the form of the white furred stallion I had used earlier.

“Maybe you don’t understand. This is my realm, I am a goddess here and this goddess needs some lovin’,” Luna declared as she sauntered up to me.

“I need an adult.”


Eight Hours Later


I felt dirty. Germs couldn’t survive on my skin and I routinely ate dirt, but I felt dirty.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I declared, reforming my usual body and climbing out of the bed.

“Please don’t shout,” Luna complained, placing a hoof over her eyes.

“Since when do you shower?” Dopple asked, also rousing from his slumber.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I snapped as I walked away.

The feeling of water running down my neck had a much needed calming effect as I processed the events of last night and wondered how to approach the situation. Could I hold Luna responsible for something that didn’t physically happen? Would she even remember it? Eventually I decided it was best filed under the category of ‘shit I wish I could forget’ and ignored like so many other bad memories.

A scream tore my attention back to the current time and place, prompting me to sprint back into the room. Inside, I found Dopple sitting up on the second bed as he nursed his head and Luna hiding behind a glimmering blue shield in the corner.

“Could you keep it down?” Dopple requested, though Luna didn’t seem to understand that he was hungover too.

“Lu, relax. Dee, shut the hell up until I get this sorted out,” I ordered.

“I’m gonna go pass out somewhere quiet, let me know when she settles down. Or don’t, whatever,” Dopple replied as he wandered out the door.

“The fuck was that thing doing here?” Luna demanded once Dopple was out of sight.

“How much do you remember about last night?” I asked calmly.

“You cheating your way around your promise, then you didn’t come back and I kept drinking for a while, and then I woke up here with him looking at me,” Luna seethed.

“Okay, that gives me a place to start. Basically, I found you on the verge of passing out and carried you home but I was already carrying Dee because he was about as bad as you were. You two started talking and declared yourselves drunk besties, then I dropped you off here and actually managed to fall asleep. Do you remember any of this?” I explained.

“No, but...did I visit your dream?” Luna asked.

“Yes you did. How much of that do you remember?” I responded, my tone sharpening slightly.

“I think I remember a world made of your tendrils, that’s about it though,” Luna answered.

“Good, it wasn’t worth remembering,” I replied, forcing a neutral tone.

“That’s disappointing, I finally enter one of your dreams that isn’t on fire and nothing happens? Rather anticlimactic,” Luna commented, setting me on edge again.

“Right, let’s find a new topic,” I suggested tenderly, trying to avoid digging any deeper into that fresh memory.

“Something happened,” Luna deduced, looking at me curiously, “Something to do with me. Something I did. Did I hurt you?”

“If I say yes will you let me suppress that memory and find something else to talk about?” I asked.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did, but I guess I should let you heal before finding out what I’m apologizing for,” Luna relented.

“Dopple. We can talk about Dopple. Are you comfortable with him being here? Are you willing to pursue the friendship and peace talks you started last night? Do you think he will?” I rambled.

“I was shocked to find him in our room with no context, but if he’s here to negotiate a peace between your factions then I’m thrilled to see him here,” Luna replied.

“He’s here because he got shitfaced and never told me where he was staying, a larger peace wasn’t on the table until you started it,” I explained.

“Really? It seems I’m a better politician than I thought I was,” Luna commented.

“You asked if he was done being a cunt,” I deadpanned.

“Means and ends, Jay, means and ends,” Luna insisted as she confidently strode out the door.

“The fuck? Where are you going?” I asked as I followed her out.

“I have no idea, but it seemed like the moment for a dramatic exit,” Luna replied.

“Abaddon, where did Dopple fall over?” I asked. If Luna wanted to wander, at least we could have a direction.

“Second hallway on your right, slightly to the left of center,” Abaddon replied.

“Left of center?” Luna asked as we neared the indicated hallway.

“You’ll see,” Abaddon teased.

As we rounded the corner, it became clear what Abaddon was talking about. Dopple was slightly to the left of being right in the middle of the hallway, though he managed to block the entire thing in the way his unconscious form was sprawled.

“I’d call that slightly left of center, wouldn’t you?” I snickered.

“Yes, I suppose I would,” Luna agreed with a chuckle of her own.

“Alright Dee, time to wake up. Come on, you’re gonna be late for school,” I prompted as I walked over and tried to wake my former second in command.

“Buh is Sunday,” Dopple groaned, swatting at the hand that was poking at his face.

“That was yesterday buddy, today’s Monday. You better get up or you’ll miss breakfast,” I warned, motioning for Luna to remain silent, “I made ~waffles~.”

That got him moving until Luna broke and let out a loud laugh, causing him to look around and remember where he was, “Why did I drink so much?”

“Because you’d rather be hungover than make difficult decisions, I think it runs in the family,” I replied.

“Uh, are the waffles real at least?” Dopple asked, sitting up to hold his head.

“They can be, we’ll see what Lucky thinks,” I offered, holding out a hand to help the faux gryphon up.

“Lucky’s here? Oh. I think I should just go,” Dopple said sadly.

“She won’t say it, just like I usually don’t, but she misses you too,” I tempted as Dopple tried to walk away.

“And Lily? Pepper? The others?” Dopple asked.

“Lily’s here, the rest are at home,” I answered.

“I...I can’t. I can’t stay here and make up with them, just like I can’t take your offer,” Dopple declared.

“You want to,” I stated.

“More than anything, but Fate won’t let me. Fate has decided that we need to be enemies, this life can’t be mine anymore,” Dopple lamented.

“You believe it’s your destiny to fight against this?” I confirmed, “Since when? I don’t believe in that nonsense and you didn’t either.”

“No, you don’t understand. There are things bigger than the two of us at play, and Fate is behind it all,” Dopple insisted.

“Fate is a person,” I noted, finally catching his meaning.

“A thing,” Dopple corrected, “A thing that is angry at you.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know, really. All I know is that I have to kill you or Fate will kill us all, or maybe I’m supposed to die at your claws, I don’t know that for sure either,” Dopple tried to explain.

“If I can find this Fate and kill it, would you be able to come home?” I asked.

“If...If you can, then I would love to do just that. I’ll be praying to every god I can find that you do,” Dopple replied hopefully.

“One last question before you go, where does Citadel fit in all this?”

“Nowhere, but it might lead you somewhere. Follow that lead, it’s the only one I can give you.”

“Stay safe Dee, and don’t fuck with any more of your siblings or I’ll take it out of your hide,” I threatened lightly, getting a laugh out of the fake gryphon.

“It won’t be my side that breaks the truce, Fate has pulled them all back,” Dopple revealed.

“I guess Fate wants Equestria to be ready for the war, your efforts were keeping us from building the fortifications Tzu designed,” I assumed.

“That makes sense. I haven’t gotten the impression that it’s after anyone or anything, more like it wants a show,” Dopple agreed.

“I can see now why you two stuck together for so long, you make quite the pair,” Luna commented easily.

“I should be going, we should get a drink sometime,” Dopple offered.

“Yeah, we should. Take care of yourself Dee,” I bid as Dopple finally managed to walk away.

“You too Dad,” Dopple called before he turned a corner and disappeared.

“Jay, Dopple was here,” Luna noted after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah, just like the old days,” I agreed wistfully.

“And you didn’t kill him when he refused to end this conflict,” Luna continued.

“Nope.”

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR BUCKING MIND! HE’S TRIED TO KILL BOTH OF US!”

“So much for being drunk friends,” I commented.
> Special 2: A Friendly Chat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the hell was this place? It wasn’t anywhere I had been before, that much I knew. The biggest thing that stood out about the empty room around me was the single door, specifically how tall it was. Between the abnormally tall door and the round handle, I had a sinking suspicion of where I was.

Earth.

That was a human door, the kind I hadn’t seen in so many centuries that it looked alien to me.

“Any fives?”

“Fucking shit Finn, you know we’re playing poker.”

Poker. They were playing poker. Any doubt that I had left Equestria was erased, they didn’t play card games. A feeling of loneliness overcame me as I realized I might never see Luna or the others again, soon followed by a wave of depression. I’d lost everything again.

“Quit your bitching, you’ll be home soon enough,” a gruff voice called from the other side of the door.

“Hey John, you sound insane when you do that,” another voice advised.

“He was just going to sit there all day, what else was I supposed to do?” the second one, John, argued.

“You could warn us before shouting at stuff he hasn’t even said yet,” the third voice countered.

“Eh, fuck it. You can come out Jay, you have nothing to hide from us,” John called.

I cautiously opened the door and stepped through, though I kept my back against the door to at least have something to hide behind if these insane voices turned out to be hostile and dangerous.

“Where am I?” I asked apprehensively.

“Good question, I suppose the best answer would be: nowhere,” the second voice answered, revealing itself to be a tall...teenager? No, these must be some kind of gods to read my mind and transport me here against my will.

“You’re not far off, I suppose we could be called gods from your perspective. Don’t repeat that though, makes me feel like the ponciest ponce to ever ponce past the poncing parlor. I’m John, this is Chase and that’s Finn,” John, who appeared to be older than the others judging by his beard, replied, introducing the tall teenager and a skinny young adult respectively.

“So what are you?” I pressed, feeling my fear subside.

“I’m your creator, Finn and Chase keep me from going too crazy and find all the little mistakes I make,” John answered simple, sending my mind reeling.

“The fuck are you talking about? My creator? Horseshit,” I spat, forming my claws threateningly.

“None of that,” John ordered, waving his hand and returning my claws to their previous state.

“Jay, this may be hard to understand. Have you heard of ‘Last Thursdayism’?” Chase asked.

“What the hell are you talking about now?” I seethed, becoming increasingly irritated at the way these creatures couldn’t answer a simple question.

“It’s a ridiculous theory that can’t be debunked by science, it states that the universe in its entirety popped into existence last Thursday,” Chase continued.

“And that means?” I prompted.

“It’s your birthday!” Finn cheered.

“You are one year old, as of today,” John clarified.

No. Impossible. All my accomplishments and failures. All the friends I’d lost. And these jokers had the gall to say they’d never existed at all?

“We never said that. You’re as real as us, maybe… it depends, maybe we’re in the same situation as you? Or maybe not. Who knows? Not me.” Finn commented with a shrug, “Also, aunte up.”

“So it’s just me that can’t read his mind yet? This sucks,” Chase complained, “I’ll raise you twenty.”

“Call,” John responded, dropping his chips on the table.

“So, why am I here? This doesn’t look like a party,” I asked.

“It is and isn’t. Take a look around this room, what do you see?” John prompted.

At his order, I turned to look around at the walls. I quickly noticed a set of Tyranid models on a shelf next to a [Prototype] game box, specifically for the Xbox Three-Sixty. As I continued looking around, I found posters for various TV shows, a cartoon of a bald guy in a yellow costume, and even a John Wayne movie.

“What is all of this?” I wondered.

“You. These are all the things that I put together to make you. Even this game, wouldn’t you say poker most resembles your political style?” John pressed.

“I guess it does, mind if I join in?” I requested, feeling surprisingly at home in this strange place.

“It’s because you’re basically in a room made of your personality,” Finn hinted with a nudge at where my ribs would be. “Well, the first usable version at least.”

“Finn, lay off. You in Jay?” John asked, intercepting my next question before I could ask.

“Mate, no offence, but I ain’t tapping that.” Finn joked, dealing Jay into the game. “And if I wanted to mess with him, I’d be doing the Project Horizons song and dance. You know, tear you down when you’re too happy, and build you up when you’re sad.”

“I prefer the long game, myself,” John commented as he pushed a stack of chips my way. I tried not to think too hard on where they came from, this was already too weird.

“They come from everywhere, and nowhere!” Finn explained in a really bad german accent.

“Finn, don’t hurt him any more than necessary. This was supposed to be a nice meet and greet,” John chided.

“So, what am I?” I asked, unable to stop myself.

“The main character. Well, sort of. It’s complicated,” John replied.

“The main character? Like, in a book?” I confirmed.

“Yes, and I’m the author,” John clarified, making me feel very small all of a sudden.

“All jokes aside, trust me when I say you’re not the only one. There is a reason why I don’t allow myself to think too deeply.” Finn said in a surprisingly serious tone.

“So these are what, your editors?” I continued.

“That’s right,” Chase agreed.

“Then why am I here?” I asked.

“Apparently to ask endless fucking questions,” John snapped, “The IDEA was to bring you here and see how you were managing all of the stress we’ve been putting on you over this past year.”

“Aside from feeling like I’m being pulled in every direction at once all the time, I’d say I’m handling it pretty well,” I replied.

“For now. I guess that’s about what I expected, you do have some experience from your time managing a legion. How was it seeing Dee again?” John asked.

“Nostalgic mostly, but don’t call him that. That’s my name for him,” I answered, feeling my anger flare.

“I wrote that nickname, I can use it if I want,” John argued, giving me an idea of where some of my mannerisms came from, “What about Celestia? We haven’t heard from her in a while.”

“Good.”

“That’s all? Alright then, moving on. Let’s see, what’s next on the list? Ah, Luna. How are things between you two?”

“I’m not comfortable answering that without her here, I don’t kiss and tell,” I declared.

“Fair enough, how about Brismane? Hows that going?” Finn asked, trying, and failing, to keep the emotion off his face.

“What about it? I scared off that unicorn and went home,” I replied, confused.

“Arcane is the main character of Finn’s story. Suffice to say, things are getting rather serious in that small town,” John explained.

“I’ll have to check on it then,” I noted.

“Hard to do without remembering this conversation,” John commented.

“Shitfuck,” I replied casually, suspecting I would get that response.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want to mess with the plot too much… Well, more than we already have.” Finn admitted, “How about you? Before we get into anymore questions, I’ve got a feeling that you’ve got a few of your own.”

“If you’re writing my life, did you write my more…private moments too?”

“It’s all been mostly ‘offscreen’ but your first, shall we say, encounter with Luna that you remember was in print. It turned out so bad that I had to rewrite the entire thing from her perspective,” John stated, trying and failing to keep a straight face, “Do you have any idea how difficult that was? I’m a straight male, I have literally no damn clue how to write that from a female’s point of view.”

“He had help.” Chase interjected tersely, before slipping a restrained chuckle, “It was honestly pretty damn funny. You should’ve seen his questions,” flashing a knowing smile in John’s direction.

“Help? All you gave me was ‘details, details, details,’ as if that was supposed to mean anything.” John shot back.

“Was I wrong? You wanted to write it from Luna’s perspective, yes? What do women do when describing things? They go off on a monologue describing every fine detail. Don’t believe me? Then what are Fifty Shades of Grey or Twilight Saga about then, if not a women’s personal tirade on their fantasies?”

John sat silently staring at Chase for a moment, before a near imperceptible crack in his features, a smirk, brought out his response, “Point... taken,”

“Well... if it helps, I didn’t want to touch that with a meter long stick.” Finn continued, patting Jay on the back, “I’ll be honest, I’m not really one for smut. But if you remember anything from… before, you’ll know how the internet is.”

John openly laughed before turning to Finn and saying five words, “Five Score Divided By Four.”

“H-hey! That was different!” Finn exclaimed, jumping a bit, “I’m a bloody teen! What did you expect?”

“Less hypocrisy, but that one deserves a pass. Damn good read even with the smut,” John allowed.

“Never understood that title. I mean, what the hell is ‘Five Score Divided By Four’ supposed to mean?” Chase mumbled.

“It has to do with the curse that ponifies the person. A score is twenty, five score is one hundred, and a hundred divided by four is twenty five. The curse lasts twenty five years, and is also the first line of the curse itself.” John explained, keeping his eyes on his cards.

“Wait, hold on. You wrote Luna and I… from her perspective?” I confirmed, instantly becoming self conscious.

“Apparently, but from what I saw in the comments, the internet thinks you’re fine.” Finn shrugged before adding in an after thought, “Well, somewhere between the request for unbirthing porn and the revolution against ladders and steep stairs.”

“Unbirthing, what are - oh, Cat and Dash.”

“Yep.” John chuckled, before leveling a finger in Chase’s direction, “You should’ve seen this guy’s reaction; I fuckin’ died.”

Chase let out a sigh as he rubbed his eyes, “When I read a Prototype fic, at no point do I ask, ‘Yeah sure, but is there unbirth porn in it?’”

John let out a short, yet loud burst of laughter at his compatriot.

“Ha! I don’t know why I found that so funny at the time, but I did,”

“And…” I started slowly, “The stairs and ladders?”

“The comments section is harder to comprehend than Pinkie on her worst day. Not as bad as Youtube, but it gets weird sometimes,” John added, wiping a tear from his eye.

“And other people read this? I shouldn’t care and I still feel like you’ve stolen any dignity I might’ve had,” I groused.

“Just be happy that I didn’t suggest weeping angels. Or anything from Dr. Who. Or anything else in my mind… Or cupcakes.” Finn rambled, “Anyway, it could be worse. You could be stuck in the stereotypical Fimfiction romance thing.”

“The fuck is a weeping angel?” I demanded, pointedly ignoring the rest of the nonsense assaulting my hearing.

“Bad times. A weeping angel is bad times wrapped up in a stone box.” Finn unhelpfully explained.

“What?!” I snapped, quickly losing my patience.

“You know SCP-173?” Chase suddenly asked.

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, “Killer Boo mannequin from Hell? Why?”

“Think that, made out of nothing but stone, but instead of breaking your neck it sends you through time to sustain itself.”

“Why not just fucking take a hammer to them then?” I ask impatiently.

He let out a slow, exasperated sigh, “Because it’s Doctor Who; everything is composed of unadulterated bullshit you’re not supposed to think too hard on or you destroy any sense of suspension of disbelief. I’m not capable of that, so I don’t watch it. Does that answer your question?”

I sigh, “Yeah, I guess,”

“Jay, in all seriousness, things are only going to get harder. You may have your ceasefire for now, but that won’t help when the allied nations invade. What do you have planned for that eventuality?” John asked, clearly trying to keep everything on track.

“We’ll have fortifications and better weapons, I plan on making them either fight a war of attrition they can’t sustain or get them to back down before then,” I answered easily, considering it obvious.

“Murphy’s Law.” Finn replied simply.

“Are you telling me I’m doomed to fail?” I asked, acutely aware of who I was talking to.

“We’re saying you need to be adaptable, that is what your speciality is after all,” John placated.

“And what I’m saying, is that, war never is that simple. I’m not a soldier, but I can tell that if you think of it like that, you’re going to get a slap from reality.” Finn explained, “And who will that come from? Twilight? Dopple? Or someone… closer?”

Finn sighed before continuing, “I may be known as the ‘Joker’ of this group, but even I can give advice. Everyone here knows that you are the sole reason the world isn’t bathed in Redlight-”

“Blacklight,” Chase interjected.

“What?” Finn asked, caught off guard by the interruption.

“Jay's Blacklight, not Redlight. Redlight was the original virus that was discovered and used in Carnival I, and what Elizabeth Greene was pumping out ever since Carnival II happened in Hope, Idaho. Blacklight was made from one of Elizabeth Greene's strains of Redlight and that was what made Mercer what he was. Later, Mercer would kill and consume Greene, and while that would give him Greene's DNA as well as Redlight’s, that doesn't change the fact that it's Blacklight. This guy-”

Chase points at me.

“-cosplayed as Mercer with the claws that Merch gave him. He's Blacklight,” Chase finally finished of his explanation before looking between Finn’s and my expressions.

“Heh... Sorry, couldn't help it.”

Finn continued to stare at Chase for a bit before giving a slow nod.

“ Well… alright then, I stand corrected. But back to what I was saying: but will that change, Jay? How can you stand up if your mistakes only drag you down? How long will it take before you get shot down? Be it from your own folly, or a lucky hit.”

“So, what? Be careful? Is that the best you’ve got? Luna tells me to be careful all the time,” I deadpanned, increasingly finding this a waste of time.

“Save your breath Finn, he won’t remember this conversation,” John advised, “Jay, we’re just trying to meet the real you to celebrate your birthday with the readers.”

“Good for you, can I go home now?” I spat.

“Unless you have any questions to ask us, you may,” John allowed, gesturing towards the door I walked in through.

“Just one. Are you Fate?”

“No, that pseudonym belongs to another character,” John replied.

“Can you at least give me a hint about where to find this thing? I could use something to sink my claws into,” I pressed.

“Sorry, spoilers. This little talk will reach the readers after all,” John apologized.

“Then this has been a remarkable waste of my time, goodbye,” I bid angrily as I strode back to the door and kicked it in.
> Chapter 25: Mi Armour
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Stupid stupid stupid! Dogs know better than to trust hooves that strike them!” Luna berated.

“Luna,” I attempted.

“What could you have possibly been thinking? Were you thinking at all? I remember the rage you were in when he ran away, I remember the hate in your eyes. But when he appears at your door, you laugh like old friends. What the fuck?!” Luna continued.

“I’d explain if you let me,” I deadpanned.

“Please. Please regale me with your masterful strategy, the one where you don’t do anything!” Luna seethed.

“Shut your damn mouth and I will!” I shouted, finally getting Luna to quiet down long enough for me to speak, “Thank you. Dee’s not the real enemy, he’s just one of their pawns. And while Chelly might be the chess player, I can keep up when I need to and this is one of those times. Taking a pawn off the board means very little in the grand scheme, it’s the leader that matters. Dee’s given me two hints that he believes will lead me to the real enemy. He did this of his own accord, without prompting from anyone. He’s not our enemy, he’s our spy.”

“Our spy? Don’t be ridiculous, he’s luring you into a trap,” Luna argued.

“If he is, then that means he’s further onto our side than I thought. Dee knows better than to set a trap for me. He’s watched what I do to traps and ambushes, he’d only be throwing away whatever troops he sent,” I countered.

“Confident much?” Luna shot back before sighing and dropping her angry expression, “I shouldn’t talk like that, you know Dopple much better than I do. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, I’d be pissed too if Chelly made a real effort to kill us both and you just sat back and watched,” I reasoned.

“Absolutely not, I’d be almost required to pull her tongue out,” Luna replied in mock offense.

“Might not work again, try the feathers,” I suggested, making Luna snort at the mental image.

Luna stopped her quiet snicker and tilted her head to peer behind me, “Huh, something’s on fire in Whitetail Woods.”

“I wouldn’t worry. It’s probably just a house fire, they’ll have it put out in a bit,” I replied as I walked over to my chair and dropped into it.

“But isn’t that the same direction you flew off in yesterday?” Luna pressed, forcing me to look.

“Fuckin’ wonderful. Abaddon, get ready to move,” I ordered unenthusiastically as I fished out a cigarette.

“What happened to not getting into direct confrontations?” Luna asked.

“I have no intention of starting a fight, but I’ll scare the fuck out of them while you teleport back to Canterlot and muster the army,” I explained, assuming the smoke was due to Arcane’s fiasco from the other day provoking an attack.

“And if they attack you?” Luna continued as Abaddon lurched sideways in his abrupt turn to face our target.

“I am the conquering king of Tartarus and a once famous warlord, take a guess,” I deadpanned. Luna fell silent before looking east and then towards our destination in the west.

“There’s only one thing I can’t figure out,” Luna began.

“Most of our enemies are to the east and south, but this attack came from the west. I’d assume it was the Enclave, as they’re in the northwest and are the most likely ones to have seen Arcane’s fuckup,” I reasoned.

“I’m sorry to intrude, but that’s impossible. The Enclave has withdrawn from the Allied Nations and stood down,” an India cut in.

“You saw this yourself?” I confirmed.

“I did, their emissary was nearly killed for delivering the news. S-She had a rogue on her side, it protected her from the minotaur guards and blew my cover,” the India replied.

“And I’m just hearing this because…” I trailed off, annoyed at my lack of information.

“You told me to shut up and play the drums,” the India shot back, making me groan. I had said that, “There was one other thing, the rogue smiled at me. It wasn’t a mean smile, more like a friendly one. Could there be different factions within their ranks?”

“It’s possible,” I allowed.

“This is good news, we have lost an enemy and gained a potential ally,” Luna declared as she mulled over what this might mean for us.

“You were pretty hostile towards that idea before,” I pointed out.

“I have no reason to believe this other rogue has tried to kill us,” Luna countered.

“Good point,” I conceded.

“It still leaves us with the question of who is doing the attacking,” Luna posed.

“We’ll find out when we get there,” I replied, sitting back to enjoy my cigarette while I could.

We didn’t find an army when we arrived in Brismane, not a live one anyway. The bodies of minotaurs and griffins lay scattered, intermixed with ponies wearing the same colors. This wasn’t an invasion, it was a knightly order doing battle with something powerful. Something like me.

“Abaddon, overwatch. Tzu, I want a perimeter in the air yesterday. Luna, inside. Where’s my fucking perimeter?” I barked as I jumped out of my chair.

“What’s going on?” Luna asked fearfully, not seeing the scene the same way I did.

“Get inside, there’s something here,” I ordered before turning back to the town to watch for movement and taking it on faith that Luna would do the smart thing and seek shelter.

“Perimeter set,” Tzu called from across the deck.

“Gimme sixty, I’m going in,” I replied as I took flight. I didn’t see any movement as I flew a lap around the town or when I came in for a landing, but I felt the eyes of scared civilians on me. A feeling I knew too well. I knelt next to one of the bodies to inspect the cause of the pony’s death, finding claw marks that were too shallow to be one of mine unless they were trying to hide their presence. The paw marks on the found supported my theory that this was something I hadn’t seen before, the rogues didn’t need to pretend to be a giant canine.

“Sir, we’ve made contact with a local,” One of the Gammas reported, presenting a familiar silver clad pegasus, who, judging by the marks on his green fur, had been in the thick of the fight.

“You’re with the militia, you accosted my guard,” I noted as I recognized the stallion.

"You. I'm real tempted to assume that this was one of your monsters. But, as I'm sure you've gathered, I saw what happened." The Pegasus spat, "Just remember, I'm only working with you because of my brother. And if you think any of your 'working for Equestria' horseshit will change my mind, I'll join Ashen in his damned crusade."

“I never asked you to work with me, I don’t give two fucks about Ashen’s pointless crusade, and the fact that you think he might actually get anywhere with it is adorable. How about you just tell me what happened and you can go back to protecting the survivors or whatever it is you do when you’re not letting a militant order of knights terrorize your town,” I replied. I knew no one else would get the distinction, but the difference between militant orders and scholarly ones was very important to those in said orders.

“Some thugs ponynapped my brother and then this big ass glowing wolf thing came out of nowhere and killed nearly all of them. The buckers ran off after a while, I’m glad I’m not with them. That wolf was pissed,” Steel explained, “Can I go now, asshole?”

“It was glowing? You’re sure?” I confirmed, ignoring his question.

“Yes, now can I go? These ponies are terrified, and rightly so I might add. They just watched their idyllic little town turn into a warzone,” Steel snapped.

“Yeah, I’ll handle it from here,” I responded absently, thinking about what could’ve done this and if I needed to hunt it down. I could sympathize with this unknown creature, my first encounters with ponies hadn’t been that civil either. Could I just let it go? That’s what I wanted back then, “Get Gamma twelve and Romeos eighty-six through ninety-two, they’re going to track this wolf down and make it clear that I only want to speak to it. It’s a confused, unfortunate soul until proven otherwise.”

“Yes sir,” the Gamma replied before hurrying off.

With nothing else in the town to investigate or do, I stopped in on the apparently abandoned coffee shop that had caught my attention during my last visit. To my dismay, most of the deliciously bitter product was scattered and crushed on the floor.

“Well, I can say I’ve had worse than floor coffee,” I reasoned before scooping up some of the grounds and cleaning them off, “Here’s hoping the grinders and at least one press will still work.”

“They do, just gotta twist the one on the left a bit,” a gruff voice replied from a chair off to my left, whoever was sitting there was turned away from me, blocking either of us from seeing who we were talking to. I could make a guess though.

“Thanks Ashen. You don’t mind me making floor coffee, do you?” I asked in an attempt at politeness.

“It’s ruined anyway, make what ya’ can out of it. Might as well take whatever else ya’ want, Ah’m ruined too,” the stallion answered sadly.

“I wouldn’t say that. A few boards, some paint, and a restocking are all this place needs to get back on its feet,” I encouraged as I set the grinder to fine and began turning the crank.

“Didja’ not notice the roof?” Ashen pointed out, drawing my attention to the completely ruined roof.

“Well, a few more boards and some shingles then. That’s just an afternoon of decent work,” I rebutted as I transferred the ground beans to the press and let them soak.

“Where’m Ah supposed ta’ get that kinda bits? A coffee bar in the ass end a nowhere doesn’t make that much,” Ashen argued, slamming his hoof into the chair angrily.

“I suppose I could be convinced to give you a stipend, even though I don’t usually give my victims payoffs,” I teased as I poured myself a mug, finally getting the bartender to turn and look at me.

“Ya’ serious? Ah’ hate ya’, ya’ dense monster, why in Tartarus would ya’ help me?” Ashen demanded.

“I like coffee and seeing this place fail because of a fight you had nothing to do with wouldn’t be right. That eyepatch looks good on you, by the way, really fits your whole persona. No offense, of course, just saying,” I replied.

“Buck. You. Ah’ don’t care if it fits mah ‘persona,’ Ah’ liked mah eye more!” Ashen spat.

“Do you want my money or not? Your feelings toward me versus your feelings toward this shop. I can leave and you’ll remain right in that chair with your ruined coffee and depression, or you can grit your teeth and accept enough money to rebuild as a token gesture of my desire to repay you for all that I’ve taken,” I stated, laying out the former mercenary’s options as clearly as possible.

“Why didn’t ya’ kill me before?” Ashen asked solemnly, surprising me.

“During our first meeting? When you wore that armor? It’s simple. I knew neither of us were evil, so I made an effort to keep it that way. You were blinded by the lies about my deeds, I understood that, I think you’ll hear a similar story from everyone else that ever came after me. I cut and broke and bruised, but I never killed and I never crippled enough that they wouldn’t be able to find another job. I hurt you for sure, and it prevented you from fighting ever again, but you were whole enough to move on with your life, that’s why I didn’t kill you,” I explained.

“Lies? Yer’ sayin’ that poster’s false?” Ashen pressed.

“I spend most of my time with Princess Luna, she counts me as one of her few friends. Do village burning monsters get to claim that?” I countered.

“Bull,” Ashen snapped.

“Fine, I’ll prove it,” I replied before walking outside through the massive hole in the wall, “Could you have Lu teleport down here? Promise her coffee, that’ll get her moving.”

The Gamma I had addressed nodded before zipping off, leaving me to walk back inside and sit against the wall to wait.

“Ah don’t see a princess,” Ashen pointed out impatiently.

“Give it about two more seconds,” I urged right before a popping sound announced a new arrival, “Called it.”

“What’s this? This coffee has been ruined. I’m too late to save you, dear beans, I pray you can forgive me,” Luna lamented as she saw the state of the bar.

“Ashen here owns the place, we were just discussing a business partnership where I pay for the repairs in exchange for free coffee,” I prompted, causing Luna to teleport in front of Ashen and give him a hard stare.

“I do enjoy a coffee in the morning,” Luna warned in the guise of musing.

Ashen reached out and poked Luna in the nose to confirm she was real, making her snort at the unexpected contact, “Mah word, it’s an honor ta meet ya princess.”

“Please, it’s just Luna. Now tell me, what’s wrong with this deal?” Luna pressed.

“Ah can’t accept bits from this monster, Ah’ve spent too long hatin’ ‘im,” Ashen explained.

“I see, and if I gave you the bits?” Luna leveraged.

“Ah’d be almost honorbound to accept them,” Ashen replied.

“Excellent. Jay, have the bits transferred from my account,” Luna instructed despite not having an account.

“Sure, no problem. Should I take them from your personal or the joint account though?” I snickered, amused by the confused expression on what remained of Ashen’s face.

“I assume you’d like some of that coffee too, better use the joint account so both of our names are on the deal,” Luna advised.

“Good idea, I’ll have them sent over right away,” I agreed.

“Am Ah missin’ somethin’ or are y’all talkin’ like ya got married?” Ashen asked once he found his voice.

“You’re missing quite a bit. Let’s leave it at that and not spread rumors, m’kay?” I warned, hinting enough to throw my former enemy for a loop but vague enough to keep him quiet.

“This was fun, but I was promised coffee,” Luna pointed out.

“Sure sure, let me clean off some more. We should get moving soon though, no telling what insanity is going on back home without us,” I responded as I grabbed another handful of spilled beans.

After we got some coffee and settled the arrangement, Luna and I returned to Abaddon to set up the bits and labor for Ashen’s shop.

“A simple building repair shouldn’t be too difficult, I can have it done within an hour or two of receiving the materials,” Tzu responded.

“I’ll need you here, just have them follow Ashen’s instructions for how it should look,” I countered.

“Yes sir, the squad leaders can manage on their own,” Tzu reasoned, though he looked disappointed.

“So now we wait for materials?” Luna confirmed.

“Yep, or we could have Abaddon walk over and collect them ourselves,” I offered.

“How long would we be away? I don’t like the idea of leaving this town defenseless,” Luna asked.

“Considering we’ll have to find the right type of trees and stain them to match the existing woodwork, plus grinding the rocks and making traditional glue for the shingles...a day. The materials are easy to find, but there are processed compounds involved that we can’t replicate without having to fall back on the normal methods,” I responded, grimacing at the estimate.

“How long would it take to get the materials the normal way?” Luna continued.

“Anywhere between one and five days,” Tzu replied.

“I’m in favor of getting them myself,” I stated

“It’s tempting, but I’m not comfortable with leaving them alone and they’re far from willing to come aboard. Perhaps some time to think about this would help, it’s been almost a week and I’d like to see how Danny is doing with my armor,” Luna decided, turning to look at me expectantly.

“Some day I’ll teach you how to do this yourself, then you can go to hell whenever you want,” I griped jokingly as I cut open a portal and led us through. I stopped when I nearly tripped over something organic, “Who the fuck are you and why are you bowing?”

“Lord Harry selected us your Majesties, we hope we serve you better than your previous maids,” the center succubus answered.

“Alright, that makes sense considering I kicked out the last bunch for siding with an incubus. Don’t attack me or mine and don’t bow, I don’t believe in making anyone kneel or bow to me,” I instructed.

“We understand and will obey, would you like fresh sheets for tonight?” another asked politely.

“I don’t believe we will be staying that long, but the dust that was in that bed before made it difficult to breathe. Please do,” Luna replied.

“Of course my queen, would you like anything else?” yet another asked as the last one ran off to fetch clean sheets.

“One of you go get the armorer, the rest stay here and answer Luna’s questions,” I ordered as I walked around them to get to the liquor cabinet I had inherited from Belial. It was stocked with semi-fresh booze though, not even I could stomach the rotgut the previous king had tortured himself with.

“The last group had some fairly strong opinions about Catrix and I, saying that she was a cheater and that I was too weak to be queen, how do you feel about us? Please be honest, I promise it will not affect your jobs,” Luna asked.

The maids looked at each other for a moment before one stepped forward, “We’ve heard you are kind, this isn’t seen as a favorable trait here but many of us knew Cat and Shay before they  escaped. They were kind as well, we have never forgotten them or how they took greater punishments to spare us what pain they could. King Jekyll freed us all, doing us the ultimate kindness. We are honored to be chosen to serve you both, that we may work our fingers to the bone repaying that kindness.”

“I’m happy to hear that, but you don’t need to hurt yourself. What’s your name?” Luna continued.

“My name is long and often shortened, most call me Maya,” the leader introduced.

“I’m usually called Gretya,” another added.

“And I’m Mop, because of my shaggy hair,” a third greeted happily.

“This one is known as Third, she does not know why,” another, evidently named Third, responded in an droning, monotone voice.

“Don’t mind Third, she’s had it worse than most. Her master liked her eyes a little too much,” Maya apologized.

“It’s fine, and please just call me Luna when possible. I know it’ll get you in trouble when others are involved, but whenever it’s just us my title isn’t necessary,” Luna requested.

“Can we do that?” Maya asked the others quietly.

“I don’t see why not, I’m tired of the ‘lord’ this and ‘master’ that anyway,” Mop replied, apparently settling the quick discussion.

“I’m glad you agree, the last group attacked me for making that request. Fang had to teach them some manners,” Luna responded happily.

“Your majesties? I’ve returned with Jragden,” one of the unnamed maids that had left announced.

“Excellent, bring him in and feel free to join Luna and the others in their little meet and greet,” I instructed, rather content where I was. I had a stiff drink and an uncaring expression, everything a demon king needs to seem generous.

“Mistress Luna, you’ve returned!” Jragden exclaimed as he was led in, “I was just finishing the last rune, your armor will be ready to wear as soon as the resin cools.”

“It’s only been a few days, I was just here to see how it was coming along,” Luna commented, awestruck by the speed at which this demon worked.

“It helped that I already had a set that was close to your dimensions, I simply needed to reshape the frame and adjust a few of the supporting plates to bring it to form. I think you’ll love it, it’s pure abyssanite backed by the softest skampskin I’ve tanned to date,” Jragden promised.

“Abyssanite? I’m calling horseshit; that’d be far too heavy for me to carry, let alone Luna,” I rebutted.

“A few levitation runes go a long way, otherwise you be absolutely correct. I doubt even Belial would be able to budge an unruned set,” Jragden replied with no loss of enthusiasm.

“What is this material? I’ve never heard of it,” Luna asked.

“That makes sense, only the most powerful greaters can arrange for armor to be crafted from it,” Jragden mused, though I cut him off before he could give a proper explanation.

“It’s the most annoying metal you’ll ever encounter. Heavy as sin and it imposes standard physics on anyone that tries to use magic on it. In short: it’s muscle only, try to use magic to lift it and you’ll find your jaw slamming into the floor. Impervious to almost everything but the hottest forges in the deepest pits. It never breaks. never rusts, and never shows signs of wear. It doesn’t behave like a metal and it’s nearly impossible to work with, I find it annoying as hell,” I explained.

“What’s with the attitude?” Luna wondered as she eyed me.

“The palace is made of abyssanite, I seem to recall his highness attempting to break through the wall in an attempt to launch a surprise attack on Belial. These walls have never been damaged and they never shall,” Jragden clarified, smiling at my grunt of confirmation.

“An unbreakable suit of armor….May I see it?” Luna requested.

“Absolutely, I’ll bring it right up,” Jragden replied before running off.

“Are the rumors true then? Are you really as kind as the whispers say?” the new maid asked before dropping and spouting apologies.

“It’s alright, please introduce yourself,” Luna responded as she walked over and offered the succubus a hoof. Her expression shifted from compassion to bemusement when the prone maid pulled out a rag and began polishing her hoof.

“Timid, you can stop. Luna is offering to help you up,” Maya cut in, stopping the maid’s actions and causing her to look up in surprise.

“I-I never thought, I didn’t...I’m so sorry my queen, I thought you desired your hoof cleaned,” Timid apologized, earning her name.

“Fear not, I’m not a cruel being. I take it your name is Timid then? My name is Luna, feel free to forgo the titles and such whenever possible,” Luna replied, helping the maid to her feet.

“Timid Toy, ma’am. I’m honored to meet you your majesty,” Timid greeted formally.

“Timid Toy? That sounds like a pony name, although it is a quite disturbing one,” Luna commented.

“A pony master named me that, I don’t remember my original name anymore. I liked him though, he didn’t beat me as much or nearly as hard,” Timid explained.

“I have no intention of harming you and neither does your king,” Luna promised.

“I’ll wreck your shit if you betray our trust though, I didn’t care for how the last group sided with an incubus,” I warned.

“Oh, I’d never do that. Just the thought of one of them touching me again makes my skin crawl,” Timid responded as she tried to hide under the neckline of her dress in a way that reminded me of a certain pegasus. I decided then that I liked this one, possibly enough to let her meet the pony version of herself.

“What about the one that ran off to get the sheets, what’s her name?” Luna asked.

“Don’t ask, her master didn’t believe in letting her keep it and now she just cries and begs for mercy when you ask her what it was. Maid should do well enough, she’s used to answering to that,” Mop advised.

“I take it you knew her before the regime change,” Luna guessed.

“My name wasn’t always Mop,” Mop replied.

“I’m sorry to hear that, but you have my word that you and your kin will never be treated like that again so long as Jay and I are in power,” Luna promised.

“You don’t have to keep Mop either, you can go back to your original name if you want,” I added.

“I’ve gotten used to it, I don’t think I’d recognize my other name anymore,” Mop replied.

“Makes me glad I had a master that preferred physical stuff,” Maya commented, idly rubbing at her neck where the flesh was still compressed from having a collar around it for so long. There were some things that never quite healed, even when you can regenerate.

“Are you joking? I didn’t have to suffer through half of what that monster did to you, I don’t know if I could’ve handled that much pain,” Mop argued.

“Different pains, neither less than the other. You each think the other had it worse because you’re accustomed to what you endured, you should comfort one another instead of trying to pity each other,” I advised, halting their argument.

“Yes, your majesty,” they both obediently responded.

“That wasn’t an order, Jay’s trying to help you. I’d know, I get bits of advice like this almost every day,” Luna clarified, making the maids relax a bit more.

“While we’re waiting for Maid and Danny to get back, we might as well have some drinks and relax,” I suggested.

“I can agree with that, especially now that I’m more used to that brown swill you drink,” Luna agreed teasingly, “Maya, would you mind getting each of us a glass?”

Maya all but sprinted to the liquor cabinet and returned with a single glass and a philter of some of my more expensive rum, “I’m sorry milady, we don’t have any ice.”

“That’s fine, but you’re short six glasses. Consider this your promotion party, you’ve been selected for one of the best jobs in Tartarus and never have to feel pain again. I’d say that’s cause to partake,” Luna chided gently, “And we have nothing but time, there’s no need to wait on us wing and hoof.”

“Eight immortals in one room and one of them is sprinting around, it is kinda funny,” I agreed.

“Of course my queen,” Maya replied before returning to the cabinet to collect more cups and a second bottle.

“If any of you ever need help, I’m not what I would call a stranger to cleaning floors and dusting sconces,” Luna offered as Maya handed each of her coworkers a glass and set the bottles down for them to fill their glasses from. Each of them just stood there in shock as Luna poured her drink before any of them could do it for her.

“Your parents sucked,” I noted once more.

“What are we supposed to do?” I heard Timid whisper.

“Fill your cups and relax, forget about who’s running what country for a few minutes,” I replied, nearly scaring the succubus out of her skin.

“I’ve never had alcohol, none of us have,” Gretya commented as she stepped up and hesitantly poured the amber liquid into her glass.

“It burns a little, but that fades quickly enough and just leaves you feeling warm. Drink enough and it makes you silly,” Luna explained, prompting Gretya to take a shaky sip. Luna smiled warmly as Gretya took a second, longer, sip from her drink and nodded.

“I’m not being beaten and there’s nothing holding me down yet, I’d say it’s safe girls,” Gretya allowed, causing the others to more comfortably fill their own cups and finally loosen up.

“Thanks Gretya,” Maya said gratefully as she took her turn.

“You took the chance last time, it was my turn,” Gretya responded with a shrug.

“Your turn? Did you step forward to see if we were telling the truth? To see if this was a trap in order to justify hurting all of you?” Luna asked pointedly, clearly offended.

“Lu, simmer down. This is their way, they’re too used to protecting each other to stop just because we aren’t an imminent threat,” I cautioned, easily reading the succubi.

“I’m sorry, and I’m sorry the world as made you feel it necessary to offer one of your own like this,” Luna apologized.

“I’m not, it’s a show of caring for one another to take pain that was meant for them. We’ve all taken our turns testing the forge, seeing if what we were allowed was real. I’m not ashamed of caring for my sisters,” Gretya rebutted, showing much more determination.

“Luna, a word?” I requested before bending down and pulling Luna in to speak to her more privately, “This one is feeling selfish for not getting punished, she’s going to continue pushing you until you hit her. Let her find your boundary, it’ll let the rest know what kind of...employer you’ll be.”

“I’m supposed to hit her now? I just gave them my word that I wouldn’t do that,” Luna countered.

“A verbal warning then, if she doesn’t take the hint I’ll give her a nice bruise. It’ll be nothing for her but it’ll get the point across,” I compromised.

“Alright, but I still don’t like it,” Luna conceded, lifting her head to address the others again.

“So my queen, how did you become the ruler of this fine realm?” Maya asked, evidently competing with Gretya.

“Too much of that liquid,” Luna answered.

“Ha! If there’s a better reason to drink, I haven’t heard it,” Gretya laughed, “Perhaps we’ll all be queens by morning.”

“Doubtful, I’m not getting drunk this time,” I responded.

“We could still be promoted to royal concubine, that’d be a treat,” Maya pressed.

“Neither of us use the one we have, why would we get more?” Luna countered, keeping her tone good humored.

“Then I didn’t hear you getting lessons the other night?” I asked slyly, much to the amusement of everyone but Luna.

“I had an honest question, it’s not my fault she went into six hours worth of details. I thought you were asleep anyway,” Luna rebutted, her face reddening.

“I didn’t figure out how to make myself sleep until yesterday, I heard everything,” I teased.

“W-well, m-my point still stands. Cat barely does her job, why would we need more?” Luna repeated shakily, trying to dodge the topic.

“For starters, a team will always have more teaching ability than an individual,” Maya began, snickering quietly at Luna’s distress.

“I DON’T NEED LESSONS!” Luna shouted, quickly covering her mouth and calming herself before clarifying, “I don’t need lessons, I just had a question about how and why Cat dislocated her legs. She didn’t try to teach me how to do it, it was just a comparison of her physiology compared to what I know of pony anatomy.”

“And she didn’t teach you? I had a pony master a few centuries ago that could do that,” Timid replied quietly, stunning Luna and I.

“No shit?” I confirmed.

“It was very painful for her and she needed help to set them again afterwards, but yes,” Timid insisted meekly.

“Luna, what’re you doing?” I asked when I caught a glimpse of the strained look on Luna’s face.

“Trying to pop my hip out of its socket,” Luna replied through gritted teeth.

“Why?” I continued.

“To see if I can.”

“Again, why?”

“Because...that’s a good question, I guess because Cat was flaunting it and I felt jealous that she could do something I couldn’t,” Luna reasoned, turning sheepish.

“There’s a lot she can do that you can’t, but she can’t raise the sun or moon. She can’t move things with her mind or cast spells or even fly. You’re different people, why try to be the same?” I countered.

“Insecurity perhaps,” Gretya guessed, “The queen may be worried about her servant wooing her mate and stealing him for herself. A fair concern, ponies will never compare to succubi on that front.”

“That’s far enough Gretya, you can stop testing my boundaries,” Luna warned, her eyes flashing dangerously.

“I know I’ll be trying, I’ve had so many more masters than Catrix that I could snare him with nothing more than a strut. I’m that good. What do you say my king, care for a taste?” Gretya foolishly continued, even beginning to undo her uniform.

“Jay, you can enforce my standards now,” Luna allowed.

“Oh, wha-” Gretya managed before a tendril wrapped around her neck and pulled her face first into my fist, releasing her just in time to let her bounce off and land in a heap, “Too far, got it.”

“You really are a tolerating sort Luna, I would’ve done much more if she had been my underling,” Maya praised.

“I promised not to hurt you, I wouldn’t have done anything if your customs didn’t demand it,” Luna replied angrily, still bitter over Gretya’s comments.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean any of it,” Gretya apologized as she picked herself up and gingerly inspected the bump already forming on her forehead.

“Don’t threaten me like that again or I will have you tossed back onto the street. Remember this well, Fang listens to me and didn’t hesitate to discipline the last group to threaten me,” Luna seethed.

“Hey, drink this and calm down,” I instructed as I put Luna’s forgotten drink to her lips and tipped it towards her, “Gretya, go dust the throne room. It’d be best if you went unseen for a few days.”

“At once, my lord,” Gretya replied automatically before she hurried out of the room.

“Um, did I miss something important?” Jragden asked as he peeked his head through the now open door.

“We’re drinking and starting fights, come on in,” Luna groused.

“Oh good, setting limits and the like. I was worried things had escalated,” Jragden replied as he pulled a large chest into the room and over to where we were standing, “Did you still want to try on the armor?”

“Yes, actually, thank you. I think this is just what I’ll need to raise my spirits. Hold on, why didn’t the last group of maids test me like this?” Luna asked, catching the difference in attitudes.

“You threw Fang at them, that told them all they needed to hear. As far as none of them volunteering to spare the others, they were a more self centered bunch. This set is from the ‘common rabble’ for lack of a better term, but the first ones were taken from several greaters as tribute,” I explained.

“I see, so these succubi have known each other for much longer and share a bond the others didn’t. I’m glad they could stay together then,” Luna replied, nodding, “Alright, let’s see this armor.”

“The first part is designed to be worn constantly, it can be worn while bathing and cleaned with normal soaps, it breathes quite well and even allows water to pass through it without getting trapped, and it won’t develop a smell like so many other armors,” Jragden began as he removed a partial bodysuit and several plates from the box.

“It won’t restrict my movement?” Luna challenged even as she helped the armorer get the leather up her legs and over her barrel.

“You see these runes here on the inside, they’re called Secondskin. The effect they produce causes the leather to bend and stretch just like the skin below it, nearly all who use it forget the armor is on at all and never take it off,” Jragden bragged as he briefly showed off his work before attaching the different seams on Luna’s back.

“I still feel it pressing into my fur,” Luna noted.

“Yes, there’s no getting around that until you sleep in it. Once you do it’ll temporarily fuse to you and become a thick layer of skin protecting your real body, it’ll even cause your fur to grow through it. The process is instantly reversed as soon as the binding seams along your spine are broken, so if you decide to take it off for any reason you can do so without any pain or discomfort,” Jragden continued, quelling Luna’s objections before they could arise.

“You put this much work into the underlay?” I confirmed.

“It’s standard for me at this point, I always strive for happy customers,” Jragden replied, “Next is the chestpiece and shoulders, designed to look regal up close and somewhat menacing at range.”

“Is that my old armor inlaid in the engravings?” Luna asked.

“You have a keen eye, your highness. Yes, I used that fine material to reinforce all of my carvings. However the runes on the inside are filled with a special resin and backed with clay from the royal forge to ensure nothing can damage them even when stored. This piece has Thermolock, Everfeather, and Freeflow just under this one patch,” Jragden explained, pointing out each of the hidden runes as he listed them, “And this set here in the corners causes it to link up with the bodysuit and shoulders for complete coverage.”

“So while I’m wearing the chest piece and bodysuit I’ll be immune to many extremes already, fascinating. How did you get them to work in combination like this?” Luna wondered as the sharp looking shoulder pieces were fitted to the snug underlay.

“It’s all one rune, with many twists and embellishments to make the different magics flow in unison. It’s an art more than science at this point,” Jragden boasted, showing his ego more and more now that he was in his element, “These add durability, though that was mostly to bridge the gap and allow me to continue adding more runes, and a boost to the strength of the underlay. You’ll find no normal blade piercing that leather so long as the shoulders remain attached.”

“I assume you have something for my sides next?” Luna guessed as Jragden returned to the chest for the next segment. I too found myself curious about what he would attach next.

“Not quite, this part is more of a bridge for the rest to connect to. It will multiply the flexibility of your joints by several times though, as I’ve found that the best strategy is to avoid getting hit in the first place,” Jragden replied jovially as he laid a layered, almost serpentine, band of preconnected plates along Luna’s spine and attached them to the rest, “This next part was tricky for me, as you are the first client I’ve had that required an outlet for bodily functions. So I’ve added a removable….I suppose codpiece would fit, to allow you to carry on with daily life. The flank armor comes with Fiercemight, Reactall, and Reward, that last one isn’t for battle though.”

“Reward? I’ve never read about that one, what does it do?” Luna asked.

“It was made for a certain succubus that didn’t like to fit the usual pattern, it adds to, shall we say, private interpersonal connections,” Jragden hinted, “I decided to include it as an incentive to wear the base layers all the time.”

“We’ll be testing this tonight,” Luna stated, leaving no room for argument. I shrugged and accepted my fate.

“What’s left?” I asked, looking Luna over for any weak spots and finding seven.

“Boots with three Tracticatas runes apiece. These are the oldest runes in my library and should allow you to walk on any surface at any angle short of vertical. The sides, wings, and helmet are much larger and more heavily runed, but are not made for everyday wear. The side segments alone cover from the neck to the tail and cover the shoulder plates completely.”

“You call those boots?” I challenged when I saw the next set of armor the demon produced. They looked long enough to entirely cover Luna’s legs in an, admittedly eye catching, array of glimmering scales that reached the flat base and sharp trailing talon.

“Perhaps leggings would fit better, you’re right,” Jragden conceded as he opened the first piece of armor and slid it around Luna’s foreleg.

“I feel tough,” Luna commented as she eyed the wicked talon jutting from the back of her hoof.

“You are tough, especially while wearing all of this,” Jragden complimented.

Luna waited for him to finish armoring her legs before asking what would come next.

“The rest is made to attach by itself when levitated into position, and it’ll only come off when pulled by the same magical signature that attached it. You can test it for yourself if you’d like, but I’m not actually capable of fitting it to you,” Jragden explained apologetically.

“Interesting,” I commented as Luna levitated the heavy armor upgrades out of the chest and inspected them before attaching them to her body one by one. When she was finished she looked like a knight from an old tale, covered in glittering silver plates and a mix of gold, red, and black engravings. All in all, she looked like a warrior. But there was one glaring weakness I could still see, “What about the wings?”

“A little surprise I wanted to keep for the perfect reveal,” Jragden began as he strode over to the curtain and removed two final segments, “These have Fleetwing engraved on every scale along with a double dose of Secondskin, they can also be left on your wings if you choose.”

“It’s perfect, thank you Danny,” Luna praised as she removed and took another look at her somewhat draconian helmet. It had four extra horns sprouting from it, two pointing forward above her eye slits and two running back along her neck. They appeared to be designed to add extra protection to those areas, keeping her from being blinded or decapitated. I also noticed the lower jaw of the helmet moving when she tested it, retaining her ability to speak without compromising coverage. Those familiar fangs would give her a mean bite too; I’d know, they were my fangs.

“You are welcome my most generous queen, if you’d ever like an adjustment made or another set made for any reason you have but to ask and I will work tirelessly to make you the best armor you have ever seen. That is my promise,” Jragden vowed.

“Jay, how do I look?” Luna asked excitedly, scratching the floor as she bounced in anticipation.

“Fierce comes to mind, like a knight of old out to slay some evil,” I answered honestly.

“And now?” Luna pressed as all of her heavy armor floated away, leaving the lighter sections. I paused as I evaluated her appearance, specifically the small gaps near her wing joints.

“Surprisingly sexy, that bodysuit hugs your curves in a very complimenting way, but the gaps worry me, I don’t trust blades to miss them,” I evaluated, trailing a finger along a patch of exposed skin next to the base of her wing.

“The light section isn’t meant for real combat, it’s so you survive long enough to get to the main armor,” Jragden insisted.

“I don’t see a way to close them, so I guess they’ll have to stay. I’ll be mindful of that weakness if I have to fight again,” Luna promised.

“Keep in mind that armor doesn’t make you invincible, it can always be breached or bypassed entirely,” I warned, instantly thinking of a perfect example to prove my point, “I’ll show you, put on the rest of it.”

“Alright,” Luna agreed hesitantly, redonning her heavy segments and looking at me through the slits in her helmet. That would be her downfall in this scenario, as her features slumped the instant her blue eyes met my black ones.

“You are still just as vulnerable to mind control as before, you’d be the pet of the first incubus you faced and there’s nothing you could do about it. You are released from my service,” I informed her before giving back control of her body.

“I asked you not to do that again, now I feel dirty,” Luna complained.

“You’d feel worse if an incubus did that, mostly because you’d either be dying or already dead,” I chided, thumping the side of her helmet to make my point.

“I think I understand what you were going for, I’ll remember not to rely on metal and leather to survive. Skill and training are much more reliable and likely to win the day,” Luna deduced.

“Your mind is the best weapon you have, but you can trust your steel. Use both to the fullest, don’t neglect either,” I advised, getting a thoughtful nod.

“I suppose you’ve seen enough to know better than anyone even though you don’t wear armor,” Luna reasoned.

“Yes I do, I always wear armor when going into battle,” I rebutted.

“You weren’t wearing any when we fought the spiders,” Luna pointed out.

“No time to fetch it and I didn’t plan on fighting, that whole clusterfuck came out of nowhere,” I explained.

“It really did. Say, is your armor here?” Luna asked.

“You want to see it, don’t you?” I replied, getting a nod, “It’s the red case Danny, don’t worry about opening it.”

“The red case? I didn’t see a red one,” Jragden responded apologetically.

“It’s not one of yours, it’s in the official armory,” I clarified.

“Of course, my mistake, I’ll return with it at once my lord,” Jragden replied as he rushed back out.

“How’s the kit feel?” I asked once the demonic smith was out of earshot.

“Like it isn’t there at all, Danny really knows his trade,” Luna praised as she removed the heavy armor again and set it aside, stretching out in her leather suit to test its limits.

“Looks like full range of motion, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Does it feel right? Sometimes, most of the time, your first revision has an edge that rubs uncomfortably or collides with another when you move. Other times it just doesn’t fit your style, it’s okay to say that you don’t like the style,” I pressed.

“I do like the style, it’s everything I asked for and I think it compliments me very well. Nothing’s clanging like my old armor did and the leather keeps it from scraping against me. I really like it Jay,” Luna insisted.

“Alright, but let me know if anything catches your attention once the new armor smell wears off. I hear Danny coming back, try not to judge my gear alright,” I requested.

“Are you implying that I won’t like the way it looks?” Luna asked suspiciously.

“You’ll see,” I warned cryptically as Jragden returned with a large red case on his back. There were no visible latches or locks on the case, only a smooth crimson surface with a single slash across the center that marked it as mine.

“Can I hire servants to move these for me? They’re starting to get heavy,” Jragden requested breathlessly.

“Sure,” I allowed as I approached the case and stood it up on its edge before flowing through a small hole in the side and directly into the hidden gear. From there, I only had to reach out and work the interior latch for the lid to open. Luna held a hoof to her mouth as I stepped into the light.

“Capes are dumb,” Jragden critiqued.

“A hammer? I thought you were more of a sword person,” Maya noted.

“I am basically made of swords, why would I carry one?” I countered.

“Twins!” Luna cheered, finally finding her voice. My armor was indeed the same colors as Luna’s, but it was of significantly lower quality than hers. My engravings were plated instead of inlaid and the metal was basic steel instead of her impossibly strong abyssanite, other than that there were several more differences in the basic structure. My armor was built to take a beating, it covered me from my neck to my fingertips and toes in layers of leather and plate steel.

“Danny, how would you feel about replicating an existing set with your expertise and embellishments? Lu’s got me feeling like a hobo in this garbage,” I asked.

“Copying another’s work is frowned upon, perhaps I could use it as inspiration for a unique set of my design?” Jragden proposed.

“That’s even better, just remember to keep the openings in the underlay and plates so I can shift. I kinda like the cape too, even if it is a detriment,” I agreed.

“It’s stunning, how can you call that garbage?” Luna pressed.

“Because you could kick the entire chest in without any strength boosts. This is unruned steel, it bends and breaks like everyone else’s,” I replied.

“And that’s what you’ve been wearing into battle? How have you kept it so clean?” Luna wondered, noting the single scratch across the breastplate.

“I try not to get hit,” I explained.

“Your majesty, I’ve finished my initial sketch,” Jragden prompted.

“Dude, don’t you take breaks?” I asked in amusement as I looked over at the wrinkled and smudged napkin that he was drawing on.

“No,” Jragden replied. I chuckled and bent over him to see what he envisioned, quickly losing my humor.

“You intend to have me killed,” I accused. This wasn’t armor, it was a sleeveless robe with a chestplate and boots.

“My apologies your majesty, but as I understand it your main strategy involves being faster than your opponent. Covering you in large segments would only hinder you in that regard, but a minimalistic approach would let you move freely while still protecting the highest concentrations of your...stuff,” Jragden insisted defensively.

“You designed this for appearances then,” I noted, nodding as I found Jragden’s logic sound, “Add gauntlets and a belt, then I’ll give it a chance.”

“Gauntlets are always an enjoyable challenge, any runes you’d like on them?” Jragden continued.

“Cut the enhancements to strength and reflexes, you can replace them with offensive stuff. Fire, electricity, stuff like that. I’ll trust you to pick the most effective ones,” I responded thoughtfully.

“I’ve found that electrical runes work the best. Put a positive charge on one and negative on the other, I call it thunderclap. You’d get some useful side applications as well, like scaring everyone around you whenever you brought your hands together or starting a campfire by simply grabbing a log,” Jragden suggested.

“Up to you, like I said,” I repeated, leaving him to fret over my noncommittal answer and devise an even better setup. While Jragden worked himself up, I returned to Luna’s side.

“You ready to head home?” I asked.

“Whenever you are. Aren’t you going to leave that here?” Luna replied, gesturing at the steel covering almost all of my body.

“Nah, it can come with. I’m getting a new set anyway so I’m not too worried about this one,” I reasoned as I turned towards the open portal and saw a hint of purple disappear behind a nearby chair, “Don’t let me forget to seal the portal behind us, word is there’s another revolt expected later today.”

“When did you hear that?” Luna asked in confusion.

“Harry left a note on the table, I’ve got a habit of consuming them right after I read them so none of the maids can plot with the ringleaders,” I lied. The bit about the maids was true, but there wasn’t a note this time.

“Liar, what’s really going on?” Luna snapped, stopping to glare at me.

“Scoots is hiding behind that chair and I was trying to get her to go back without making a big deal out of it,” I confessed, hearing an eep of alarm from the chair in question.

“Yes, I see her scent trail now. Come on out Scootaloo, we’re not angry,” Luna urged.

“Okay, but you promise you’re not mad?” Scootaloo confirmed as she revealed herself.

“Not at all, but I am curious about why you came here,” Luna replied.

“I saw this portal thing and wanted to know what it was, so I got closer and saw a bunch of Catrixs. She’s nice so I was coming in to say hello but then you turned towards me and I panicked,” Scootaloo admitted, making me raise a freshly grown eyebrow.

“Are you still living on Abaddon?” I asked, kneeling to better address the filly.

“He said I could stay as long as he didn’t have to go anywhere, but then I got stuck here when he did move. I don’t know this town but it’s scary looking with all the dead ponies, I just wanna go home,” Scootaloo whined, actually showing her age.

“Don’t worry ’bout a thing, we’re done in this town and will be going back right away,” I promised.

“Please don’t kick me out, I like it here and it’s closer to Rainbow Dash’s house,” Scootaloo pleaded, prompting me to stand back up in offense.

“Lu, I have a question and I need you to answer me honestly. Do I exude some aura of being a coldblooded prick?” I asked, “Seriously, why else would everyone always assume I’m going to screw them over?”

“A bit, yes. You act as though you’re removed from their struggles and don’t sympathize. Admittedly, I still question your motivations and intentions,” Luna revealed, her words cutting deep.

“I’ll just have to change that then, be more transparent. In the meantime, just ask when you have those questions and I’ll do my best to answer,” I promised, “Scoots, you can stay until you find a more permanent place to live.”

I turned to see Scootaloo’s reaction, but found an empty space where the filly had been.

“Hi, I’m Scootaloo,” Scootaloo greeted from behind us, evidently having gotten distracted by the maids.

“Young Scootaloo, it’s impolite to walk away from a conversation,” Luna admonished, though her criticism fell on deaf ears now that the filly had a number of succubi fawning over how adorable she was.

“Don’t leave the palace or you’ll die,” I warned, content with leaving Scootaloo here while we traveled back to Ponyville.

“Jay, you can’t leave her here,” Luna declared as she held me from walking through the portal, “They might do things to her, inappropriate things.”

“She’s a guest, she’d have to give them permission,” I replied.

“As if she would know better,” Luna countered.

“Maya, the rest of you, no touching behind the hip or anywhere your species is known for,” I ordered.

“By your command, your majesty,” Maya replied, bowing again and getting a tap from one of the others to remind her not to.

“Good to go?” I confirmed.

“Yes, I think that will do,” Luna agreed before following me back to the surface world.

“Abaddon, any news concerning the thing that did this?” I asked without stopping.

“Nothing solid, but we have found tracks leading to the west. Three squads are following them and should be sending word if they locate the creature,” Abaddon replied.

“Good, keep me posted,” I instructed as I came to a stop on the edge overlooking the ruined town.

“Will they even accept our help rebuilding their town?” Luna wondered.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not offering,” I responded, “Did you make a decision about how to deal with Ashen and the Black Bow?”

“No,” Luna confessed.

“Then I will. I’m tired of looking at this pile of broken wood and sadness, I’ve seen too many already. Leave the scouts and the squads for Ashen, but the rest of us are going home,” I ordered, directing my instructions towards Tzu and Abaddon.

“The right thing to do would be to leave more enforcers here to help the rest of them rebuild as well,” Luna insisted.

“There’s one pony in that entire town I somewhat like, he can come with us if he wants. The rest haven’t earned my help, nor do they want it. They just want me to go away so they can go back to their boring little lives and live in peace. I’m happy to give them that,” I countered.

“What if they ask for help?” Luna proposed.

“Then they’d owe me a favor for fixing their backwater little town, but don’t hold your breath,” I replied.

“I’ll be right back,” Luna promised before teleporting away with a pop.


Perspective Change: Luna


I reappeared outside of the destroyed coffee shop and immediately set about looking for somepony in charge. Instead I found the coffee shop’s owner, Jay had called him Ashen, slumped against the side of the building.

“Ashen? Are you well?” I asked in concern as I leaned down to check on the stallion.

“Noooooope, sold muh soul and got nuthin’ ta show fer it. Courier jus’ came through, town’s dead. No more traders comin’ this way, no traders no coffee, no coffee no shop. The Black Bow is finished an’ so am I, jus’ leave me ‘ere ta die,” Ashen quietly sobbed, brandishing a letter as though it were the most dangerous weapon he’d ever seen.

“Ashen, where’s everypony else? I can fix this if the townsponies help me,” I urged.

“Gone, dead, both. It’s over. Steel’ll stay till Arcane shows, then they’ll go too,” Ashen predicted somberly.

“I’m sure this was a wonderful place, but if that’s true then there’s no saving it anymore. If ponies would come together and seek help from each other, then we could’ve saved Brismane,” I lamented, sitting against the wall next to Ashen as I let myself be taken by depression.

No, not yet, there was one pony I could help.

“Ashen, Jekyll said there was one pony in this town he liked. He said that pony could live aboard our leviathan until he was back on his hooves. He didn’t say who, but I’m fairly sure he was talking about you,” I confided, betting my emotional state on his reaction.

“Fer’ the irony, Ah’m tempted... Beh, screw it, Ah’ll come ‘long fer now,” Ashen agreed after mulling the idea over for a short while, “Heh, mebe Ah’ll find somethin’ there that’ll help me kill the bastard.”

“It’s called the cure and he doesn’t keep it there, I’ve never even seen the stuff myself,” I replied.

“Damn. What’s wit’ the armor anyway? Ya weren’t wearing that before,” Ashen asked, though now he just seemed to be stalling.

“I commissioned it a while back, and it was just finished a few minutes ago…..I don’t think I can get it off, not by myself anyway,” I revealed, keeping my voice casual but not emotional. I wasn’t upset about letting the unlucky stallion grieve for his dead shop a little longer. He could take as long as he needed, I could wait.

“Ya got somethin’ stronger than coffee on that thing?” Ashen asked as he finally stood.

“If you mean alcohol, we have plenty,” I answered.

“No point moping around here, ya got a chariot or somethin’ comin’?” Ashen wondered before looking at me just in time to see my horn flash.

“Nope, we take the faster route. The one with the big head is Tzu, he can get you set up with a room and teach you how to get what you need,” I instructed as a familiar figure approached.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Sup,” I greeted as I looked over the former mercenary standing dumbly next to Luna.

“You were talking about Ashen right? I took a guess,” Luna confessed.

“Actually I was talking about that guard, Steel, it takes a lot of guts to stand up to a pissed gryphon covered in weapons,” I joked, though I made sure Ashen couldn’t see me wink.

“Buck ya’ too ya’ old codger,” Ashen spat.

“Hey Tzu, come help Ashen here get settled in so we can get moving,” I called, allowing myself to smile at Ashen’s momentary confusion.

“That wasn’t necessary,” Luna chided.

“Meh… fuck,” I swore as I noticed a new problem.

“What now?” Luna groaned as Tzu led Ashen away.

“None of your clothes will fit over your armor,” I pointed out.

“Fuck,” Luna swore, “I only got to wear that outfit twice. Can you modify it to fit?”

“Not with those shoulder pads in the way,” I replied, shaking my head.

“Fuck,” Luna repeated.

“Yeah, we’d have to take the whole light layer off to make them fit right again,” I agreed.

“I was going to surprise you with just the jacket and boots tonight too,” Luna lamented.

“You could toss the under tail covering at me when I walk in, that’d produce about the same effect,” I suggested.

“But you’d expect that, it wouldn’t be a surprise,” Luna complained as she wandered towards the door with her head low.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” I encouraged.


One Hour Later


“Lu, Abaddon says we’re back in Ponyville. Are you ever leaving that room?”

“Not until I think of something clever,” Luna refused.

“Alright, I’m going to check on the town and make sure it was quiet while we were gone,” I responded.

The walk out and drop to the ground was unusually quiet, as though everyone was waiting for something. Like an enemy to attack them again. I dismissed the thought out of hand on the grounds that Abaddon would’ve told me when we arrived, but something was going on here.

The sound of large wings flapping roused me from my thoughts as a fully grown dragon flew overhead.

“What the fuck, where did he come from?” I asked the universe. Receiving no answer, I figured my best bet was to wait by the library for a certain purple trouble magnet to show up.

I didn’t have to wait long.

“That was amazing Fluttershy, who knew you could stand up to a dragon like that?” the newest member of my shit list praised.

“Twilight, you will explain that statement in detail and you will have the best explanation I have ever heard for intentionally putting three of my very few friends in that kind of danger,” I declared, making all six of them jump.

“Jekyll, I...uh...well you see...a letter from the princess said….there was a dragon…” Twilight managed, nearly paralyzed from the glare I was currently boring through her head and out the back of her skull.

“Celestia sent you, and you went,” I observed, my gaze panning over the group and noting every singed hair and spot of soot. This was unacceptable, it was a miracle any of them survived at all.

“Yes,” Twilight confessed.

“Not one of you thought to alert me of a dragon intruding on my territory, he was my responsibility to handle. Now he’ll return to his flock and inform them that I needed ponies to send him away for me, I’ll be seen as weak,” I admonished.

“So? I get the pride dude, but who gives a feather what some dragons from far away think?” Dash asked, having built up a tolerance for my glares.

“If I’m weak then I can be deposed and my territory can be taken, they won’t stay far away. This is exactly what Chelly was after, now I’ll have to fight off the entire flock or Ponyville will burn. Either I kill dozens of dragons right in front of everyone or I let over a hundred ponies die, either way I’m a monster,” I explained.

“Oh, that’s bad,” Pinkie deduced, her hair deflating.

I sighed as I weighed my options, “Maybe I can pull off a third option, maybe. But I’ll need all of my dragon skulls to do it and I’ll need the town to ignore the macabre trophies on all of the buildings. Hopefully seeing a graveyard of their kin will persuade them to keep flying.”

“How many of these skulls do ya have?” Applejack asked.

“One for every dragon that thought he could best me in a fight, minus one infant,” I replied.

“I’m guessing that’s a lot?” Twilight asked as she shook herself out of her stupor.

“Several dozen over the centuries. Enough,” I responded.

“Glad we didn’t ruin everything, bye!” Twilight attempted before trying to bolt inside her home and tripping over a tendril I had wrapped around her leg. She begged for mercy as I reeled her in and picked her up, though her friends appeared nonplussed at the display, “Help meeeeeee!”

“Darling relax, you look like you’ve never gotten a stern word before,” Rarity chided gently.

“Ah have ta’ agree Twi, ya aren’t taking this too well,” Applejack added.

“Wha-What?” Twilight asked in confusion as my wings spread.

“Jay doesn’t hurt ponies Twilight, he scolds them and if they keep doing bad things….” Fluttershy trailed off as she lost her nerve.

“If they don’t shape up I peel their skin off and leave them to bleed in the street. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ve only done that once,” I finished, “To a pony anyway.”

“But I like my skin...” Twilight whimpered before I lept into the air and made a beeline for Abaddon’s deck.

“Sir, we weren’t able to identify the dragon,” Tzu reported apologetically once I landed.

“It doesn’t matter, get all of the skulls and adorn the town with them. Here’s hoping they think twice before challenging my strength,” I ordered as I passed.

“Here’s hoping,” Tzu agreed, having read the same signs as I had and reaching the same conclusion.

“Where are we going?” Twilight asked fearfully as I carried her deeper into Abaddon.

“You don’t recognize this path? This is the way to Luna’s and my room, you didn’t just cross me with that blunder,” I replied.

“Oh, I guess it was dumb to go chase that dragon away,” Twilight commented sadly.

“It was damn heroic, the kind of thing that used to get you a song. It was the who and why that have us upset,” I clarified.

“But we would’ve died if Fluttershy hadn’t been there,” Twilight insisted.

“Luna barely knows Fluttershy, she’s going to be mad you answered Celestia’s call and went in without any way of staying alive if it had gotten hostile. I’m mad because you took Shy, Dash, and AJ with you and didn’t think to contact me first,” I elaborated.

“But we’re the Elements of Harmony, we’re supposed to save Equestria from threats like this,” Twilight argued as I reached the correct door.

“No, you’re supposed to save Equestria from threats like me. I’m supposed to defend the ground and skies I’ve conquered from outsiders I don’t want to be there. Big threats affecting all of Equestria are your business and I won’t hinder you, but I expect the same courtesy regarding invaders around my town,” I rebutted before knocking on the door, “Luna, be decent.”

I didn’t give any more warning before opening the door and walking straight to the couch Discord had poofed into existence a lifetime ago, at least it seemed that way.

“Jay, why’s Twilight with you? Is that ash? Did the library burn down? Can it burn down?” Luna asked as she wrapped a towel around her head.

“‘Cause she fucked up. Yes. No. No,” I replied.

“Did you shower while wearing armor?” Twilight asked in confusion.

“It doesn’t come off easily, so it was meant to be worn in the shower. What happened?” Luna responded as she moved to sit on the bed.

“I got a letter today from Princess Celestia, it said that a dragon had made a home in one of the caves nearby and had settled in to hibernate. It also warned that its snores would soon choke Ponyville in a cloud of smoke and that I’d need to get it to move before this could happen,” Twilight began.

“So she gathered up the rest of her friends and went to talk to it,” I summarized.

“You didn’t,” Luna challenged, cringing at the thought.

“We did, and we would’ve died if Fluttershy hadn’t gotten assertive and talked it into moving,” Twilight finished.

“Fluttershy as in the shy little pegasus? She saved all of you? I’ll never underestimate that young mare again,” Luna commented.

“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for,” I advised.

“But all of this came from my sister, a summons you answered. Tia knowingly risked your lives and the usability of the Elements, but so did all of you. I’m disappointed in everypony involved for taking this needless risk, especially when Jeff could’ve held the smog back or frightened off the dragon with next to no chance of being hurt,” Luna admonished.

“Or he could’ve sent one of the enforcers to get us,” I added.

“That too. From now on, please forward any mail Tia sends straight to me and Jay. We’ll filter out anything ridiculous and give the rest back. Let us handle the reckless missions, you just enjoy time with your friends and the adventure of life,” Luna instructed.

“You want to go through my mail?” Twilight confirmed, looking flabbergasted at the idea.

“You’re right, that was too far. If she gives you missions like this, please come to us first so we can make sure none of you get hurt or worse,” Luna amended.

“I think I can do that. Whew, I thought I was going to Tartarus when Jekyll carted me up here,” Twilight commented.

“That reminds me, isn’t young Scootaloo still in Tartarus?” Luna asked.

“Yep,” I replied as I sat on the bed next to Luna’s right shoulder and leaned back against the wall.

“Eh, she seemed happy enough with it when we left,” Luna shrugged.

“Portal’s open, she just hasn’t come back yet,” I added, getting my information from the leviathan around us as I spoke.

“She…likes it there?” Twilight asked, her face the image of disbelief.

“I could always drag you to Hell, let you see for yourself,” I offered.

I’d never seen anyone teleport that quickly, pony or otherwise. Twilight was gone like a fifty-nine Cadillac before I had time to register a glow on her horn.

“Hey Jay, is it almost nighttime yet?” Luna asked.

“It’s about seven, I’ve seen earlier sunsets. Why?” I replied.

“Look to your right,” Luna instructed. I did so and found an empty space, as expected. Then it hit me, on the top of my head to be precise. As I reached up and removed my new hat, I discovered a familiar piece of abyssanite in my grasp.

I turned back and found Luna staring at me through her soggy mane, the little silver beads I had tied in sparkling in the light and accenting her eyes.

“Nice surprise,” I complimented.
> Chapter 26: Crimson Courts
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: India Eight Six Dash One,
A.K.A. Private Mahjo,
A.K.A. Background Minotaur Guard Number Four
Location: Administrative District Headquarters Building, Minos


“Felix?” Regnot asked, attempting once more to get a reaction from the angry gryphon.

“A friend scorned, an ally mourned. We have proven most poor, perhaps another group should meet behind this door,” Kahira suggested glumly. I found myself agreeing, these were my enemies and I still found myself pitying them.

Ever since Regnot’s scene in Zebrica, Felix had refused to speak to him. The gryphon’s trust in his friend had completely eroded, leaving the both of them to wallow in self pity. It was depressing to witness.

“You’re right, we failed. Let someone else hold this mess together,” Felix sighed.

“No, we can fix this!” Regnot insisted, making me wonder whether slipping another spy into their ranks was worth the effort, “I know we can work together to forge a better future for our people, even if it means you two never forgive me.”

“You stupid git, it’s not about forgiveness. Kahira and I can’t trust you, not after you threw a tantrum and had us locked up for disagreeing with you,” Felix spat, getting a nod from the zebra and a silent sigh of frustration from me. This was the most overdramatic group of idiots I’d ever seen.

At least I’d get to kill them if Lord Jekyll got tired of their plots.

“I was trying to protect you! That monster was tearing my guards apart!” Regnot argued defensively.

“That’s enough out of you both, for the correct one is our host. I say we take an oath, to never again power boast,” Kahira proposed.

“Easy for you to say, I’ve never heard you brag,” Felix groused.

“Militant matters are for forces of warfare, not the council determining global welfare,” Kahira shot back. A bit of a stretch in my opinion, but I’d only eaten one zebra and he didn’t rhyme so I couldn’t say I knew the etiquette.

“If that’s what it takes for you to forgive me, I’ll make this vow,” Regnot agreed.

“As long as you’re just talking about military strength, then I will too,” Felix added.

‘If I have to listen to this for one more day, I’ll go insane,’ I complained mentally.

‘I know what you mean, these fools couldn’t talk their way out of a paper bag,’ another voice replied in my mind, almost making me break cover as instinct told me to jump away from the other bioform, ‘You worry too much, I’m not with any of these silly factions. Having someone to talk to wouldn’t hurt though.’

I received a mental image of an indistinct pony smiling at me, a smile that reminded me of the last spy’s report. A friendly smile.

“What do you say Felix, friends again?” Regnot asked hopefully.

“I’ll take more than a few words to make up for locking me in a dungeon,” Felix snapped.

‘You’re a Rogue, why aren’t you trying to convert me?’ I asked.

‘I couldn’t care less about this pissing match between Four and Father, I don’t care who wins as long as I get to live in peace,’ the voice, now more feminine, replied easily, though there was one thing that caught my attention. I’d need to include that detail in my report.

“I think I know how to mend this fence, you must appeal to Felix’s favorite sense,” Kahira advised.

“Heh, you read my mind,” Regnot agreed before turning fully to face his former friend and opening his arms, “How would you react to finding Casena in your bed?”

“You don’t have that much pull,” Felix stumbled accusingly.

“I know a minotaur who knows a minotaur who knows her father and all of them owe me favors, I can get her for you,” Regnot offered.

‘If this bunch actually thought with their brains, we’d have a much greater threat to worry about,’ I commented.

‘They serve their purpose to the letter as they are. They don’t need to sit down and discuss any plans, their underlings are much more professional and handle all of that, all these so called diplomats have to do is keep the peace amongst themselves to show that the different nations are one,’ the voice rebutted.

‘How long have you been watching them?’ I asked curiously.

‘Off and on since this started, my normal life keeps me away most of the time. In all honesty, this is just idle curiosity and figuring if I’ll need to move before they roll through,’ the voice answered.

‘One last question, who are you? I’d like a name to put to the voice in my head,’ I requested.

‘Ah ah ah, it’s impolite to ask too much on a first date. Well, I suppose you’ve been good so far,’ the voice began before I felt something slither up the inside of my armor and kiss my cheek, “I haven’t had an enforcer name in a long time, not since before you were created.”

With that puzzling admission, the voice receded from my armor and mind. I was left alone once more with only the diplomats for company, not that they were interesting.

“I’ll believe you can get the most sought after prostitute in MInos when I see it with my own eyes,” Felix challenged.

I groaned internally and settled in for a long day.


Perspective: Jekyll
Ponyville


I opted to let Luna sleep in, only partially because I was still asleep as well.

I sat in my tendril grove and watched the sky undulate peacefully while a little spider that looked like Abaddon rested on my knee and told me what was going on outside my dreamscape.

“You should wake up soon, Mistress Luna’s brain activity suggests she’s already in the first stages of awakening,” Mini-Abaddon advised.

“Yeah, probably, but time seems to move slower here, I have a few more minutes,” I replied lazily.

“She’s looking at you,” Abaddon warned shortly before I felt contact on six hundred and thirty-six different points on my body.

“The fuck was that?” I asked in confusion.

“You’re currently a mass of tendrils, she tried to kiss where your face used to be,” Abaddon explained.

“Alright alright, I’m getting up,” I relented as my mental world dissolved and was replaced with a sleepy pair of eyes.

“Good morning,” Luna greeted.

“Morning,” I repeated.

“Wanna see if Ashen has any coffee yet?” Luna asked.

“Sure,” I replied.

“Good, bring me some when you come back,” Luna requested before rolling over and snoring loudly.

“You don’t snore,” I pointed out, breaking her flimsy illusion.

“You can argue with your warm and comfortable wife or you can get us both coffee, I hope you make the right choice,” Luna responded, making her intent clear.

“You win, I’ll be right back,” I conceded as I merged with the wall and reformed myself outside Ashen’s room.

“That was surprisingly comfortable, I figured I’d lose control of myself at best and stop existing at worst,” Abaddon commented as the last few tendrils separated.

“Do you want to stop existing when I do that? I can make that happen,” I offered jokingly.

“I think three floors going numb is plenty, thank you,” Abaddon replied as his secondary torso dissolved back into the wall.

I was about to knock on the door when it flew open and a badly damaged warhammer swung up to break even more on contact with my face, “You shouldn’t mistreat your equipment Ashen.”

“Gotta try,” the earth pony replied.

“If you ask nicely, I might have my smith make you a better one,” I tempted.

“Horseshit, the Silver Swords only use the finest weapons and armor. Ah’d be hard pressed ta find a smith that could hope ta match them,” Ashen rebuked.

“What about a demon that has been practicing that trade since the dawn of time?” I proposed.

“I-how do you know a demon?” Ashen asked, taken aback by my casual tone in reference to one of the dreaded creatures.

“I saved the world about a thousand years ago, accidentally conquered Tartarus in the process. That would be one of those things that nopony would believe, they’d dismiss you out of hoof on the assumption that I’d have killed them all by now,” I explained, ensuring I added enough to keep my hostile guest quiet later on.

“Ah can’t figure why ya’d lie ‘bout that, shite. Ya’d let me have a new hammer, knowing Ah’m gonna attack you with it every chance I get?” Ashen confirmed.

“It won’t matter, you can’t hurt me with blunt force. But I think you’re the type who’d appreciate it more than a place to rest your head and some money. On that note, did you get any coffee in yet?” I replied, getting to the actual point of me coming down this way.

“Aye, but it’s the generic swill. Good ta wake ya up, but not so easy on the tongue as my regular stock,” Ashen informed me.

“It’ll do for today, there’s a sleepy alicorn in my room with a craving for caffeine,” I allowed, “Let one of the enforcers know where to get the good shit and they’ll make it happen.”

“Will do,” Ashen agreed as he gently set the remains of his hammer against the wall and walked over to a small bar, soon returning with two steaming mugs of deliciously bitter coffee. At least I thought so until the smell hit me. These mugs smelled like kerosene and appeared to be eating the mugs containing the foul liquid.

“Is this acid?” I asked as I lifted one of the mugs and took an experimental sip.

“Nah, Ah got no problem with yer missus. It’s just a bit on the strong side,” Ashen reassured, his claims backed by my chemical analysis of the sample I had taken and my sudden urge to sprint laps around the planet.

“Strong he says,” I joked as I clumsily walked out of the room, “Thanks Ashen, catch you around.”

“Jay? What are you doing and why are you vibrating?” Discord asked, poking his head out of a door across the hallway to see what was going on.

“Good coffee in there, one sip made me want to run forever,” I replied, suspecting I was talking much faster than I thought by the way Discord’s eyebrow rose.

“How’s the taste?” Discord asked, clearly acting like he was in slow motion. Even his voice was distorted.

“Smells like kerosene and tastes like liquid death, but it really gets you going,” I answered at normal speed.

“IIIIIIII caaaaaaannnnnn sssseeeeeeee tttthhhhhaaaaaaatttttt,” Discord replied, though his tone was lost on me, I needed to move. Holding still was boring, I wanted to go fast.

Abaddon must’ve been tilting his body to mess with me, I shouldn’t have caused the coffee to run that much with just that brisk pace. Whatever the case, I made it back to our room without spilling a single drop of the precious liquid.

Discord must’ve beaten me here in time to get Luna to join him in his little joke, “JJJaaaayyyy, wwwwhhhhyyyyyyyy aaarrrrrrrreee yyyooouuuuuuu ssssssshhhhhaaaaaakkkkiiiiinnnggggg?”

“Ha ha, very funny. Here’s your coffee,” I deadpanned as I handed over the mug, “So what’re your plans for the day, I don’t really care what we do as long as we go out and do something.”

Luna looked at me for what felt like an hour before downing the entire mug and gagging at the taste, prompting me to finish off the other mug as well.

Time stopped.

I found myself doubting whether or not I was being pranked as I watched a dust particle stop falling in mid air, “This can’t be just coffee.”

“I agree, it tastes nothing like any coffee I’ve ever had. More like leper skin mixed with the ash of ponies lost to a volcanic eruption; and suicidal depression, can’t forget that distinct flavor,” Luna replied, sounding normal now.

“Feel like running?” I suggested.

“Fuck yeah I do!”


Coffee Time: Six Hours Later
Real Time: About Eight Seconds Later


“Why did we doooo that?” Luna wailed as she curled her aching limbs up to her body.

“I’m burning those beans,” I declared, struggling to even speak as my body tried to revert to an uncoordinated mass of tendrils. This pain and weakness was so much worse than any hangover I’d ever had before.

“I don’t feel any different,” Pinkie commented, having joined us on our second lap around both Ponyville and Mt. Canter. Somehow unsurprisingly, she had seemed to be the only other person that appeared normal to Luna and I.

“Owww, where are we?” Luna asked between complaints.

“On the path up to Canterlot, you were going to mess with Princess Celestia during this lap,” Pinkie answered helpfully.

“Better question is why none of the enforcers reacted to us moving so fast, I know they could see and hear us just fine,” I pointed out.

“A unanimous decision that it was funny to watch you two tire yourselves out,” Tzu replied, revealing his presence.

“Great, go confiscate that poison from Ashen and burn it somewhere where nothing will be affected by the smoke,” I ordered, barely making it to the end of my command before failing to maintain my form any longer and collapsing into a pile of interconnected tendrils.

“I think I should get you three home first,” Tzu rebutted as he tried to pick me up.

“Just bring Abby here, I just wanna lay here for a bit longer,” Luna countered, closing her eyes to wait out her apparent migraine.

“That’ll work, I’ll be back soon,” Tzu promised as he released the few ropes of flesh he had managed to gather and took flight.

“It’s been fun, but the Cakes probably need me back in the kitchen. Thanks for the run,” Pinkie bid, soon departing with no other evidence that she had moved other than simply not being there anymore.

“Jay, can you talk?” Luna groaned.

I gurgled as best I could in response.

“Guess not. I wanted to ask you your opinion on visiting my sister while we’re here. I know you two don’t get along, and how much of an understatement that is, but she’s still family and I want to try one more time to get her to step down and keep this war from happening,” Luna continued, sounding better with every word. I too was already feeling my control over my body return with every passing second as the pain faded.

“Shit plan, she won’t back down,” I argued as I rebuilt my body one tendril at a time, starting with a rough approximation of my head.

“The fact that you got the nickname ‘The Horror’ makes much more sense now,” Luna commented as she shakily got to her hooves and stretched.

“And yet you think I’m sexy, how does that work?” I jibed, getting a short bark of laughter from the mare.

“Well played, I don’t have a comeback for that,” Luna conceded.

“Biting my tongue here, you make such an easy target,” I warned.

“I could use a lark, what were you going to say?” Luna allowed.

“You did last night,” I replied, making Luna drop to her knees as she laughed heartily, “Ah, I recall that position too.”

“Stop. Stop. Please, it’s getting hard to breathe,” Luna pleaded.

“I could keep going, but I’ll drop it for now. What ever happened to the mare that couldn’t make a suggestive joke without getting flustered?” I asked as I finally got my skin and chitin plates to sit properly.

“She got laid and loosened up, shut your face, but mainly I’m just more comfortable with myself. I think meeting Cat and talking to her helped a fair bit too,” Luna replied.

“That’s good, I’m glad Cat was able to help. She’d been sitting around for way too long before you two met,” I responded.

“Not the way she tells it,” Luna countered.

“I’m sure. Now, about meeting with Chelly…” I began, though it wasn’t Luna who finished my sentence.

“Yes, what about me?” an unwelcome voice challenged, causing both of us to look over at the newly arrived diarch.

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked, reading her face for the answer her words would conceal.

“Long enough,” Celestia spat. She’d just arrived.

“Whatever, I’m gonna sit here and let the last bit of that caffeine crash wear off while you two talk,” I declared.

“Tia please, nopony’s pride is worth another’s life. We can still end this quarrel before any fighting breaks out,” Luna pleaded, jumping straight to the main point.

“It’s too late for that, they’ve already attacked a number of trade ships along the coast,” Celestia asserted.

“Pirates; state sanctioned, but still independent. They don’t count as gryphon regulars and won’t hold up in court,” I countered, “But that wasn’t your real meaning, was it? You were deflecting to hide the fact that you yourself have ruined any possibility of a peaceful resolution.”

“What are you insinuating? That I would deliberately undermine my own nation?” Celestia challenged foolishly.

“I think you have a problem controlling your temper and I know you murdered the ambassador the gryphons sent to meet with you,” I revealed, making Celestia freeze in shock. Her face was twisted in horror at what I had so casually accused her of in front of her guards and sister.

“You bas-”

“I wouldn’t be a good soldier if I didn’t keep tabs on my enemies, you aren’t the only one surrounded by my spies and you aren’t the only one I have dirt on,” I continued, feeding the paranoia I saw growing in Celestia’s beady eyes.

“Tia, is this true?” Luna asked quietly, her gaze rooted to the ground.

“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer, I don’t answer to either of you,” Celestia spat as she turned to leave.

“Tia, tell me you didn’t! I need to hear you say it!” Luna demanded as her grief transitioned into anger, “You bitch, you’ve killed them all! I’ll-”

“Lu, that’s enough. This is her turf, we don’t hold enough power here to play that card,” I cautioned as I rose to my normal height and tossed a baleful glare at the departing alicorn and her entourage.

“We could do something,” Luna stressed, “Go public, depose her, something other than sit here and prepare to spill more blood to clean up her mess.”

“I know it’s tempting, but you’re not there yet. It’ll have to be you making the speeches and meeting with delegates and crowds, I would only be able to be there in a background role or we’d risk angering the other nations further. Are you really ready for that kind of attention?” I countered.

“No, but...but I can’t just wait either. I’ve come so far, how much longer will I have to endure before I can take my place in this country?” Luna asked sadly, her shoulders falling.

“I don’t know, but you definitely aren’t the same mare I met in that castle,” I replied honestly.

“Stars above, can you imagine where I’d be right now if we’d never met? I’d almost never talk to anypony, never make any lasting friendships, be the brunt of all of Tia’s pranks, and I doubt I’d have any social skills at all,” Luna chuckled, covering her depression with humor.

“That would suck, being a background character in your own life like that,” I agreed.

Luna sighed and looked at me with a seriousness in her eyes I hadn’t seen before, “How do I make myself ready for that attention and responsibility?”

“You could take over...the other place and learn what to do there, then adapt those skills to watching over Ponyville as a small scale role of monarch,” I suggested, making it up as I went.

“Hmmm, I’ll give it a try. What’s the worst that could happen?” Luna agreed.


Three Weeks Later


“Lu, come on. You need to talk to someone that doesn’t consider ritual branding normal,” I demanded.

“Can’t you see I’m busy? I’ve nearly caught up on this paperwork enough to sleep for an hour!” Luna rambled, her voice randomly switching emotions and volumes without any warning.

“I expected you to learn this sooner. Harry, handle this fucking paperwork for Luna!” I ordered loudly, soon hearing the echoing voice of the ripper agreeing.

“What?! I can do that?” Luna raved, wide eyed at how easily I had dismissed her efforts.

“I’ve never done a single page of paperwork for this hellhole, I’ve always delegated it to another. That’s what I was expecting you to do right away,” I explained. Luna gave me a hard glare for a solid three seconds before the light left her eyes and she collapsed onto her desk.

“Yep, let’s get you in a real bed,” I commented as I walked around the desk and hefted Luna’s unconscious body onto my shoulder before walking back through the portal.

Once I had Luna tucked in and sleeping peacefully, I fell back on old habits and simply waited for something interesting to happen. There wasn’t much else to do at this point, Celestia’s power was starting to wane, Luna’s mental maturity and capabilities were developing smoothly, and there were no immediate threats.

I briefly considered flying off to beat the incoming dragon horde into submission early, but dismissed it as a waste of energy.

“Hello boredom, it’s been a while,” I greeted, talking to the empty air.

“Did I hear boredom?” Discord asked as he looked into my eyes from wherever he had come from. Evidently he was either above me or behind me, as his neck was twisted such that his head was upside down.

“What’s up Dissy?” I asked, surprising thankful for the distraction.

“Not a whole lot, ran out of things to decorate my room with and figured I’d see what you were up to,” Discord replied as he floated over to the sofa he had provided and dropped into it.

“You ran out of things to do? You?” I confirmed in disbelief.

“Afraid so, one can only add so many ceiling chairs before it just looks cluttered. That number is two by the way, three ceiling chairs is way too many,” Discord lamented.

“I suppose that would get annoying after a while, too many and you’ll just smack your face on them,” I agreed, unwilling to think about the absurd furniture beyond my initial assumption.

“You have no idea,” Discord sighed, “But on a happier note, I heard you and the missus finally made it to a club the other night.”

“That we did, but Lu never got to dance. Next time I’ll rent the entire place for the night and have real music playing,” I promised.

“Eww, that pounding aggressive stuff? Makes my head hurt whenever I hear it,” Discord complained.

“Different strokes for different folks. But as far as music goes, it really is the most pure,” I insisted.

“As if, complexity doesn’t mean it’s better,” Discord argued.

“Not the music itself, but the musicians are the most talented. Compare a metal guitarist to a country one, the metal guy will get bored playing the country guy’s songs but the country guy won’t have a clue where to begin with a metal song. Heavy rock and metal like the stuff I listen to is built on all of the other styles and expanded upon even further, you can actually trace its lineage back to those other styles,” I explained.

“Doesn’t make it good music, they’re all songs about war and death anyway,” Discord asserted.

“Is that so? I have songs in my head about my people’s history, living life to the fullest, and persevering through the difficult times in life. And those are just what comes to mind off the bat, rock and metal covers pretty much every subject imaginable,” I pointed out.

“Fine, but I still say that there’s better music,” Discord continued.

“I’m sure there is, to you. Music is one of those things that depends entirely on the listener to see whatever they want in it,” I agreed.

“That we agree on. We should debate like this more often, that was fun,” Discord proposed.

“Anytime Dissy, anytime.”

“Glad you two are getting along better, but could you take your conversation outside next time?” Luna requested groggily.

“Heh, sorry,” Discord and I chimed.

“I bet Tia gets to sleep in peace,” Luna groaned as she rolled over and went back to sleep.


Perspective Change: Celestia
Canterlot Castle


Eight cups of coffee and I was still dead on my hooves. The sight of Luna wearing that outfit had cut me deeper than I’d expected, as I’d been rediscovering night after night.

“Princess, are you well?” Dawn asked, sounding concerned.

“Just tired, tired and scared,” I confessed, “Before Luna’s fall to Nightmare Moon, I pushed her quite hard. She did so much work for so little credit, it’s no wonder she snapped. But now she’s back and doing better than ever, yet I tried to push her back into that same role. I think she’s doing so well because I’m not in her life. Jekyll filled the role of friend and confidant better than her own sister could and now I fear I’ve lost her forever.”

“Blood runs thick, I’m sure she’d forgive you if you asked. In the meantime I’ll clear your schedule so you can take a nice nap,” my number one assistant replied soothingly, lifting her hoof as though to place it on my shoulder before realizing I was much too tall for her to reach.

“Thank you Dawn, but I can’t let my personal problems affect the rest of Equestria. I’ll just lean on my coffee and make do,” I declined.

“Like you always do,” Dawn sighed, clearly disapproving of how poorly I took care of myself.

“I’ll get some sleep after work, I promise,” I offered in compromise.

“And?” the dull orange mare pressed, her icy gaze boring into my soul from under her slightly brighter mane.

“And I’ll skip dessert,” I groaned, feeling more like I was talking to mother than my assistant.

“Good, you know the sugar will just make you stay up way too late,” Dawn replied approvingly.

“Alright, how much is left then?” I asked.

“You have a private meeting scheduled with an pony calling himself Crimson, though I don’t recall seeing his paperwork,” Dawn replied, pulling out her notes and pointing out the inconsistency on the magically held paper.

“He’s from that splinter faction in Jekyll’s army, no doubt here to give me some instruction and lay the usual threats for if I don’t comply,” I sighed, having just dealt with one of these beasts a couple weeks ago.

“Then my predecessor…” Dawn trailed off.

“Spoke out of turn, they don’t like our kind and love to make examples,” I warned, “Trust me, I bite my tongue on these things too.”

“I would assume reconciling with Jekyll is forbidden by this faction?” Dawn asked quietly as I plodded towards my study, having no doubts that my less than welcome guest was already there.

“You think he could solve this problem? I admit, I’ve had the same thoughts. I can’t trust him, he made these monsters,” I rebutted at an equal volume.

“I’ve seen the same reports, he’s fighting them. Somepony or something else has made them this way, he’d make a powerful ally,” Dawn advised conspiratorially.

“So he’s said multiple times. I don’t know anymore, but I can’t seem to keep my composure when he’s around,” I admitted, feeling my ears flatten on reflex.

“You like him!” Dawn accused, stopping as her shock paralyzed her legs.

“Pfft, no,” I scoffed, “I hate that monster, I’ll do whatever it takes to see him dead at my hooves.”

“I’ll believe that when I sprout wings and grow five more feet. You’ve got a thing for Jekyll,” Dawn snickered, “Sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t poke fun. You definitely like him though.”

“We’re not having this conversation, I won’t entertain this notion anymore. How you could even think I would have feelings for the beast that crippled me and has made multiple attempts on my life is beyond me,” I snapped, though the unicorn before me didn’t flinch.

“You lost your composure again,” Dawn pointed out.

“My point stands,” I spat. I knew I was being petulant, but Dawn’s motherly attitude elicited that kind of reaction occasionally.

“You want to know what I think?” Dawn offered.

“If it’s about Jekyll in any capacity other than a strategic use and his eventual demise, then no,” I responded.

“Alright, but I’m going to break through that shell eventually,” Dawn warned.

“You just worry about yourself until this Crimson has left the castle, we can discuss my supposed ‘shell’ afterwards,” I countered.

“More like tomorrow, you have court after this meeting and then it’s straight to bed,” Dawn decreed, making my shoulders hunch as I realized she was right.

“Fine…Mom,” I teased.

“You wouldn’t be the first to call me that,” Dawn shot back as I reached the door and almost pulled it open before I noticed the worn spots on the floor where my guards usually stood, “Dawn, go to my chambers and find somewhere to hide.”

“What’s going on?” Dawn asked in confusion, her voice gaining a touch of fear at my authoritative tone.

“Mister Crimson is in a bad mood, you need to not be anywhere near here,” I warned, sending the unicorn running for cover without another word of argument.

“They live,” a voice on the other side of the door stated, sounding bored.

“Then where are they?” I demanded as I flung both of the double doors open to crash against the walls.

“So dramatic, no wonder why the closest thing to family you have is a childless mother. She has more issues than you do, you know,” the bioform taunted.

“You will leave Dawn alone, your business is with me,” I declared, mentally preparing myself for battle.

“So it is,” the creature snarked, seeming to find this exchange amusing, “Your orders are simple, you will take no action for or against Jekyll or his forces until told otherwise. The penalty, blah blah blah, extinction, blah blah blah, you know the drill.”

The rogue was almost out the window before I recovered enough from his surprising statement to ask the most important question of the month, “Where are my guards?”

“Right, them. I got the name Crimson for a reason,” the monster teased before dropping out of sight.

“What does that have to do with anything?” I wondered aloud before hearing a quiet sound. The sound of one liquid striking another. Dripping.

I looked up. I shouldn’t have looked up. I immediately dropped to my knees and lost what little I had eaten as I tried to cry away the image burned into my eyes. That monster had strung them up and removed everything necessary to keep them alive and mobile, stitching the remains together so they wouldn’t bleed to death too quickly. The sight of those two brave stallions reduced to half a torso and stitches would be haunting my dreams tonight.

“Celestia? Oh gods, what did he do to you?” Dawn cried as she sprinted into the room, no doubt spurned into action by my sobbing. I felt her hooves around my neck as she tried to comfort me, though in doing so she tilted her head and saw the stallions above us, “That animal, what kind of creature could do something like this?”

“Jekyll could, his children can,” I choked, feeling my hate rise once more.

“I don’t see this as Jekyll’s work, that monster wasn’t one of his. Even if he can’t be tolerated, he can help destroy this threat. Get him to help us strike the rogue faction down, then we can focus on killing him,” Dawn proposed as she gently levitated each of the mutilated guards down and brought a golden letter opener over to end their suffering. All I felt was shame, I couldn’t protect them and I wasn’t strong enough to give them peace myself.

“Thank you,” I whispered, not trusting my voice.

“It’s not the hardest thing I’ve had to do,” Dawn replied as she wiped the letter opener clean on her fetlock and set it back on my desk.

“He called you a childless mother, do you want to talk about it?” I offered, finding solace in being able to help at least one pony.

“Not right now, maybe tomorrow. I’m cancelling court for the day, you’re lying in blood and we both need baths before we can be seen in public. I’ll have a guard make the proper notices while you clean up and go to bed, I’ll wash this blood off and handle the minor claims,” Dawn responded, taking charge in lieu of my mentally and physically exhausted state.

“I want to make the announcement myself, but I’d have to side with Jekyll to do that,” I managed, feeling weaker than ever. I was stuck, powerless against the titanic forces warring in my beloved country and putting countless numbers of my little ponies at risk.

“Not yet, not publicly. Find his spies, meet with them and let them know you want to join forces. Then we can prepare for the real war,” Dawn instructed.

“Thank you again, I needed to hear a plan of some kind,” I replied, feeling better now that I had a direction to move in. Granted, that direction was currently towards a bath.

Now I just needed to keep a cool head when dealing with Jekyll’s envoys.


Perspective Change: India Seven-One


If that unicorn hadn’t used magic, I would’ve thought she was one of us. Ponies weren’t known for having that kind of fortitude, she definitely warranted further investigation. All things for my report.

“Poor things, I just can’t understand why that beast did this to you,” Dawn commented towards the bodies, clearly thinking she was alone now that Celestia had departed. But are any of us really alone? Nobody considers the tapestry to be a person, or the potted plant next to the door, or the desk standing vigil as the centerpiece of the room.

I wasn’t any of them, I was the wall itself. Or rather, the mortar between the bricks. No one notices when the bricks have a little more mortar than the day before, nor do they pay close attention when one leans against said wall to check their hoof.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Ponyville
The Next Day


“Feeling better?” I asked, smirking.

“Coffee,” Luna groaned, eighteen hours of sleep hadn’t done her many favors as far as her energy was concerned.

“I’ll make sure it’s tested this time,” I allowed as I sent off the silent command.

“Good,” Luna replied simply.

“How much sleep were you getting in Tartarus?” I asked.

“Hour if I was lucky, half most nights,” Luna managed as she yawned.

“The portal was open, why didn’t you ask for help?” I continued.

“Test,” Luna grumbled as her eyes drifted back shut.

“No it wasn’t, it was to help you learn how to manage a country efficiently and easily. No one can handle all of that themselves, there’s just too much to deal with,” I rebutted.

“Shut up, I was doing good for a while,” Luna snapped.

“Three weeks is not that long,” I chided.

“Let’s see you do better then,” Luna responded angrily, though she remained under her blanket with her eyes closed.

“I have, for a thousand years,” I pointed out.

“More like Harry has,” Luna countered.

“He couldn’t do anything without my authority. Besides, that’s the point. Harry handles what he can and passes the rest off, but everything is done towards the direction I left for them and with my power backing it up. Your sister does the same thing, but personally sees to the aspects of the job that she enjoys doing,” I explained, seeming to bother Luna with how calm I was.

“Fuck you,” Luna swore in her defeat.

“I figured that’s what you’d want, especially after going without for three weeks,” I teased.

“Too tired, maybe after coffee,” Luna replied, surprising me.

“Wow, you really are spent. Seems Ashen tried to dose us again, can’t figure why else it wouldn’t be here by now,” I mused.

“INSURRECTION! TREASON!” Luna screeched as she bolted upright.

“The fuck? Calm down, damn,” I ordered on reflex before seeing that she hadn’t otherwise moved and waving off the tendrils Abaddon had extended to restrain the alicorn.

“Sorry, a few of the staff tried to poison me at one point and Harry got me in the habit of calling stuff like that out. I’ve seen the bad side of Tartarus, the pure evil lurking in the streets, and it’s made me a bit paranoid,” Luna apologized as she settled down.

“I know what you mean, I assume you realize how much effort it took to hide that side when you visited before?” I asked somberly.

“Don’t worry, it’s understood and appreciated,” Luna replied, actually cracking a smile. Though her happy expression didn’t seem to be directed at me.

“Should I guess what you’re thinking?” I proposed.

“Just a fond memory, one of the few I have of that place. Gretya really is a sweetheart once you get to know her,” Luna revealed.

“Well that tells me everything I need to know and more,” I replied in mock disgust before dropping my guise, “Glad you managed to have some fun while you were overworking yourself.”

Any further talk on this subject was sidelined by an enforcer rushing through the door with a single mug of coffee, “Sorry I took so long Mistress, that pony is one stubborn piece of work.”

“Don’t I know it,” I agreed as Luna accepted the drink and took a long sip.

“Am I talking fast?” Luna asked warily.

“Nope,” I replied.

“Good,” Luna stated before taking a much longer drink from the mug and finishing it off.

“That coffee was fresh out of the kettle, it was boiling hot,” the enforcer pointed out.

“I used to work all night every night, extremely hot coffee and I are old friends,” Luna countered, seeming unaffected by the burns she should’ve had.

“I’ll admit, that was pretty metal,” I commented, nodding my head approvingly.

“So now that I’m awake and I’ve had my coffee, what’re our plans for the day?” Luna asked.

“Not a damn thing, today’s easy. I’ll be getting reports from my spies later, but that’s just a contact link with Abaddon and won’t even be noticeable to you,” I replied, subtly offering Luna a chance to get more involved in the world.

“Can you have them delivered in paper form? I think I’d like to see what’s going on out there,” Luna requested. Hook, line, and sinker.

“Sure, I’ll have a study set up so we can have desks and all that,” I agreed, sending the command as I spoke, “Done, it’s across the hall.”

“You remember what you said about pointing out the stuff that makes me wonder how good you are? Those silent orders make it seem like you think the rest of us are your toys, as though you are some kind of god keeping us around for your amusement,” Luna admonished.

“That’s how you really see it? I’ve just been doing it ‘cause it’s faster than talking,” I responded in surprise.

“Just use words when we’re around if you can,” Luna requested, tossing me a light glare.

“Alright alright, I’ll keep the connection stuff to a minimum. I won’t promise to not use it at all though, it’s a great way to know what’s going on around us and keep surprises from popping up,” I relented.

“Megalomaniac,” Luna accused.

“Nymph,” I shot back, making Luna jolt back and glance at the enforcer still standing in our room.

“Don’t mind me, I think marriages require a healthy sexual relationship,” the enforcer commented as he walked out, seeing Luna’s lack of comfort with him being there and acting accordingly.

“Did you send him away?” Luna asked quietly.

“Nope, that order came from you,” I replied.

“Good, that means we’re making progress,” Luna declared before suddenly leaping off the bed and slamming into me with all of her three hundred pounds of lean muscle.

I braced my arms to keep from crushing her as she sent us into a roll that ended with her looking down at me, the beads in her hair tapping the sides of my head as she stared into my eyes.

“I think they call this positive reinforcement,” Luna began.

“I’m calling this reunion sex,” I rebutted.


Twenty Minutes Later


“Feeling better?” I asked as I massaged the knots out of Luna’s shoulders. The runes on her armor’s underlay made this easier, but it was harder than normal even with the plates and pads removed

“So much better, you have no idea how pent up I was,” Luna sighed.

“Between how enthusiastic you just were and the sheer number of knots in your muscles, I can make a pretty good guess,” I countered.

“You’d think commandeering one of the maids and getting her to live under your desk would help, but it just wasn’t the same,” Luna lamented.

“Awww, you misseded me,” I cooed jokingly.

“Don’t even start, you already said the portal was open for me to use if I wanted,” Luna snapped.

“Wasn’t going to go there,” I responded honestly, no point beating that detail into the ground.

“Hmm, lower,” Luna instructed as he shoulders finally relaxed. As requested, I moved my hands down her back and dug my fingers in on either side of her spine, “The wings, Jay, do my wings.”

“Remember when this had you freaking out and squirming all over the place?” I reminisced as my hands found the neglected muscles and worked them until they were nice and soft once more.

“Good times,” Luna joked.

“You want to jump me again don’t you?” I accused.

“That’d break your once a day rule,” Luna pointed out.

“You’ve worked yourself to the bone, I think you’ve earned a little fun,” I reasoned, “But not until I’m done with both wings.”

“Must you torture me so?” Luna complained jokingly, holding her hoof up as though pleading for assistance from on high.

“Shut up, you know you like it,” I shot back with a grin as I focused both hands on Luna’s right wing.

“Oooh yeah, that spot has been cramping a lot lately,” Luna sighed happily as she seemed to sink into the bed, “Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I really a nymph?” Luna asked, turning serious.

“When you want to be, yeah,” I agreed.

“Is that bad?” Luna continued.

“It’s not unexpected, given your abnormal brain structure. But no, I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing as long as you don’t go overboard,” I replied.

“Okay, that’s good,” Luna mumbled as she relaxed again, though she soon popped back up to keep going, “Jay?”

“Yes dear?”

“Don’t let me go overboard,” Luna requested.

“I won’t,” I promised as I finished with Luna’s right wing and shifted to her left one.

“I’ve just been really frustrated lately, like I have over three and a half thousand years of stress pushing down on my soul and it makes some of that weight disappear,” Luna replied.

“Lu, it’s fine. You don’t need an excuse to have sex with me, I’m your husband and part of that means making sure you’re satisfied and happy,” I responded seriously.

“We aren’t though, not really. We don’t act like we are and nopony even knows because we can’t wear the symbols,” Luna complained.

“I don’t know, I think we’re pretty close to the average pair of newlyweds during the honeymoon phase. We don’t really fight or argue that much, we’re still learning how the other thinks, stuff like that. As far as rings or bracelets go, do you really care? I’d wear one if you asked me to, but I wouldn’t seek one out if it wasn’t something you wanted,” I replied.

“Maybe I could sneak one on under my boot,” Luna mused before shaking her head, “No, the gold would never fit right and it’d sit funny.”

“My people wore rings, but we didn’t stick to gold as strongly as you do. I remember one company made rubber wedding rings for people that couldn’t wear metal ones because of the job they did,” I suggested.

“Can you make me one?” Luna asked.

“I know the basics, it’d take a bit of research to learn the entire process and then however long it takes to make the thing. I’ll start on it as soon as I can,” I agreed.

“If you find me some gold I’ll make you a ring,” Luna offered, “Wait, nevermind. I just had a better idea.”

“If you’re thinking abyssanite, that thing would weigh over a hundred pounds,” I noted.

“Not if Danny taught me how to carve the right runes into it,” Luna pointed out.

“That would work, I could even store it inside my hand when I’m in public,” I reasoned.

“Just until we have enough sway to go public,” Luna added.

“Right,” I agreed as I finished working the last bit of tension out of Luna’s wing.

“Could you do me a favor?” Luna asked as I moved my hands back to her spine.

“What’s up?” I replied.

“Go back to the bases of my wings, but just hold them this time,” Luna instructed, sighing happily as I did so before continuing, “Grip them just a little harder, enough that your fingers dig into my skin...Yeah, just like that.”

“I thought you forgot,” I teased.

“Not a chance,” Luna shot back as she tossed me an expectant glare.


Thirty Minutes Later


“Why does this feel right?” Luna wondered aloud as she took a long drag from her cigarette.

“No idea, it was a thing for my people as well,” I replied, letting my own cigarette hang from my mouth.

“Should probably get up, we can’t just lay around and make love all day,” Luna proposed.

“Yeah, let me finish this cigarette first,” I requested before looking at luna and ashing the remaining half of my cancer stick in one puff, “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Show off, I’m going to walk and smoke,” Luna teased as she rolled out of the bed and onto her hooves.

“Might want to take a shower, you’re more than a little sweaty,” I suggested as I hopped to my feet and surged my tendrils to clean the small amount of grime from my own skin.

“Yeah, I probably should,” Luna conceded as she walked into the center of the room and tapped her hoof, triggering the usual privacy flaps to fall from the ceiling before the warm water started pouring onto her.

“I’ll have those reports ready for you when you’re done,” I called as I walked out.

“Okay,” Luna replied. As the door closed, I heard her ask, “Why do I still use these screens?”

With that question to amuse me, I walked across the hall and checked out our new offices. They were simple things, two desks facing each other with plenty of storage space on either side and empty shelves lining the walls. One of those tacky office things sat in the corner, the kind of dumb fountain that just dribbled water over a stack of rocks.

“Check that memory again Abaddon, stupid rock fountain things are stupid,” I ordered, nonplussed by the sight.

“Lauren had one in her office, you seemed to like her office,” Abaddon countered.

“I liked Lauren’s office because she was the coolest supervisor ever and had a Forty-K table in there, not because she had a dumb as fuck rock fountain,” I rebuked.

“I think it’s peaceful, Mistress Luna will like it,” Abaddon argued.

“Doubtful, but it can stay until she has it removed,” I allowed.

“Yay,” Abaddon cheered.

“We just need a few more things to get started. Have Tzu organize a few Romeo squads and get them to make paper copies of every India report we’ve gotten since six months before Luna’s return, starting from now and working backwards, then get me someone who will excel at organization to sort and file all of those documents,” I instructed, wondering if this job might actually keep Twilight busy enough to stay out of danger.

“Wouldn’t Tzu be perfect for that?” Abaddon asked, seeming confused.

“Tzu has more important things to do than babysit stacks of paper, I’m looking for someone that won’t be called to fight every other Tuesday,” I replied.

“You want a pony to do this,” Abaddon noted, “May I look at candidates other than the librarian? This chance to improve our social standing shouldn’t be wasted by hiring someone who already knows who we really are.”

“That’s a good idea, look wherever you want,” I permitted.

A voice from the hallway caught my attention, “Sup.”

“What are you doing here? Weren’t you going into hiding or something?” Luna’s voice demanded, seeming angry at the owner of the first voice.

“Look, I don’t know what you’ve got against me but I haven’t done anything to you. Elder Jekyll offered me a place to stay and I’m taking him up on it until I can either get my face changed or my family moved somewhere safe. If I’ve offended you, I’m sorry,” Gilda replied defensively.

“Just stay away from me assassin,” Luna snapped.

“I don’t do that anymore, I’m just Gilda now,” Gilda shot back, her own temper growing short.

“Should I step in or let them fight it out?” I asked.

“I’d suggest setting some rules, like no killing, but also letting them resolve their dispute,” Abaddon replied.

“Make it so Number One,” I ordered, tapping into Abaddon’s senses so I could watch the fight.

“Whatever, you’re probably just waiting for the moment to strike,” Luna accused.

“Hey buck you, I gave up my entire life when I quit that mission,” Gilda snapped.

“What life? Aren’t you assassins gelded or something?” Luna mocked, her hatred for assassins showing as clear as day.

“I’m a girl you twit,” Gilda shot back.

“Really? You don’t look it, or are you one of those types that likes other mares?” Luna continued.

“Yes actually, but I didn’t think I’d be harassed about it in Equestria of all places. You’re a piss poor example of your species, you know that? They all accepted me the instant I told them, Dash even forgave me for taking on a mission to kill her. But you? You who is supposed to be the example for them to follow? You’re just another bigot bitch hiding behind her money,” Gilda ranted angrily, going as far a poking Luna’s chestplate with a talon when she called the alicon a bigot.

Abaddon caught Luna’s hoof before it could connect with Gilda’s face, surprising both of the combatants, “Fight if you feel the need to, but no killing or magical injuries.”

“You heard the thing, no magic bitch,” Gilda taunted as she stepped back and bounced lightly on her hind legs as she assumed a fighting stance.

“Magical attacks and magical injuries are different, stupid. I can still set you on fire as long as I don’t enchant your skin to keep burning,” Luna spat as she too got into her ready pose, “But I want to feel you break, I’ll keep it to my hooves for now.”

Gilda got in the first strike now that it wasn’t a sucker punch, her foot connecting with the side of Luna’s head hard enough for Gilda to use it as a springboard when she tried to jump back out of kicking range. Luna’s hoof caught her foot before she had the chance though and Gilda screamed when Luna rolled and brought her other foreleg down on Gilda’s knee, snapping the joint and leaving the gryphon limping as she backed off.

“You’re stronger than you look, I’ll give you that,” Gilda conceded.

“You too, I passed out when I broke my leg,” Luna replied.

“Fall off a roof?” Gilda asked.

“My sister,” Luna corrected.

“Damn, I have a brother like that. They suck, huh?” Gilda replied.

“Yeah, they really do,” Luna agreed, her short chuckle cut short when Gilda’s talons raked her face while she was distracted.

“Wait!” Gilda cried when Luna prepared her counterattack, “Just bringing it to a draw, I don’t think you’re as much of a bitch as you let on. Truce?”

“Are you really done with being an assassin? I fucking hate assassins,” Luna countered.

“Yeah, I couldn’t go back if I wanted to. You don’t get to botch your first contract and expect to keep your job,” Gilda answered instantly.

“Then I’ll accept your surrender,” Luna teased.

“Draw,” Gilda insisted.

“You are clearly more injured than I am,” Luna pointed out.

“Take off the armor and we’ll see how well you do, not a lot I can hit you with when only your face and neck are open,” Gilda challenged.

“I-I uh-I can’t get it off without help,” Luna confessed.

“Hold up, what? Do you go looking for someone every time you need to go or have to piss yourself then?” Gilda asked in shock.

“There’s a plate on the back I can remove for that stuff, but otherwise I’m stuck in here,” Luna clarified.

“That’s no fun, at least it looks awesome,” Gilda offered.

“Thanks, it’s pretty comfortable too,” Luna replied, “Do you want me to fix your leg?”

“That’d be great,” Gilda agreed, finding her leg quickly returned to its prior, unbroken state.

“Fixing my face will be almost impossible without a mirror, I’ll just get Jay to do it,” Luna stated as Gilda opened her mouth.

“Fair enough...friends?” Gilda asked.

“As long as you don’t try to kill me,” Luna joked as she nodded.

“Cool, see you around princess,” Gilda replied as she turned to leave.

“It’s just Luna, nobody calls me that,” Luna called as the gryphon departed.

I was waiting for her when Luna finally walked into the office, my hand already separated into tendrils to knit her skin back together.

“You saw all of that?” Luna asked, already knowing the answer.

“Duh, heard you two bickering through the door before you even started. Abaddon was the one who suggested letting you fight though,” I responded, “What do you think?”

“I think this place is looking more like a gilded cage every day,” Luna groaned.

“If it is, then I forgot to close the door. I’m serious, if you really think I’m trying to control you or whatever shit Chelly does, then I won’t stop you from leaving or cut off any help I’ve promised. I heard you arguing and wanted to watch, that’s all,” I stated seriously, meaning every word.

“A hollow option, I have nothing outside of this leviathan. No real power, no money that Tia can’t keep from me, nothing. Burning this bridge isn’t an option,” Luna countered.

“I don’t care about bits, you could take whatever you needed. I wouldn’t take it personally either, no bridge burning on my end,” I replied.

“So I could just take a bunch of bits and leave, and you wouldn’t be mad?” Luna challenged.

“I’d be pissed, but it’d be at myself for pushing you away,” I answered, evidently saying the right thing as this prompted Luna to hug me.

“Thanks Jay, I needed to hear that,” Luna sighed.

“No worries, how do you like the office?” I asked, shifting the subject to an easier one.

“That rock thing in the corner looks stupid, otherwise it’ll work nicely,” Luna replied.

“Fucking called it,” I announced.

“So which one is mine?” Luna asked, ignoring my outburst.

“Whichever one you want,” I allowed.

“I’ll take the one facing the door,” Luna chose, walking over to the desk and sitting down.

“Then I’ll use the other one, you should find a bunch of reports from the last few days in the drawers but they aren’t organized yet. This one is from today,” I explained as I gestured to a file sitting across the small gap between the two desks.

“From?” Luna asked as she levitated the folder towards herself and opened it.

“Canterlot,” I answered, watching Luna’s eyes scan the document within. I was curious to know what it said as well, having upheld my promise to do things the normal way with Luna.

“Interesting,” Luna commented, “Has this been substantiated?”

“It’s taken from the memories of the India that witnessed it, every word is accurate,” I promised.

“Then the tides are shifting in our favor, it seems Tia has gotten into trouble and is considering an alliance with us. Well, an alliance with you,” Luna revealed.

“She doesn’t know we’re an item, give her a break,” I urged as I walked around to Luna’s side and read over her shoulder, “Damn, why can’t she look past her ego and do the right thing for once?”

“Says the shapeshifting alien that lives in a town sized siege monster,” Lina ribbed.

“I lived in a log cabin for nearly a thousand years, I can do humble,” I countered, messing Luna’s hair because I could.

“You ought to know it lays back naturally, ruffling it won’t change anything,” Luna deadpanned.

“No, but it’s fun,” I countered, continuing my pointless assault for a few more seconds.

“Still, to know for sure that Tia has been dealing with the rogues. I’ve never been so disappointed in her before,” Luna commented to herself as her mane fell back in an approximation of how it had been before.

“Wait, hold the fucking phone. This Dawn mare thinks Chelly likes me? Is she clinically insane? Who would think that?” I demanded, my mind replaying every encounter I’d had with the solar diarch and finding only loathing.

“It looks like Tia agrees with you for once, she reacted about the same way,” Luna chuckled. That left a bad taste in my mouth, I didn’t like the thought of having anything in common with Celestia.

“So what’s the play, do you want to meet with her?” I asked, moving away from any similarities to my nemesis.

“I think it would be dumb to refuse her outright, but it should be on our terms. We should bring her here where we can control who knows what is said between us,” Luna suggested.

“Then that’s what we’ll do. If you can get her alone, pull her into a teleport and pop into the staging area. I’ll keep it clear so you don’t fuse with anyone,” I replied, the plan taking shape.

“Not alone, that assistant of hers seems to keep her stable. I’ll have to bring Dawn as well,” Luna amended, looking thoughtfully at the page as she evaluated our plan for weaknesses, “What about rogue spies? How do I avoid them?”

“You can’t, they’ll sniff you out even if you’re invisible. We’ll just have to deal with that as it develops,” I responded, grimacing at the description of what the rogue calling itself Crimson had done.

“Alright, I’ll trust your India’s can keep them from killing me,” Luna agreed.

“That’s not a risk they’d take, whoever is pulling their strings wants a long fight and that would end this much too quickly,” I replied.

“Because you’d just disappear again?” Luna guessed.

“Because I’d kill them all in a day,” I corrected, “Nobody hurts my Luna and lives.”

“Aww,” Luna cooed happily as I oozed through the gaps in her armor to hug her properly.

“When do you want to begin?” I asked, still holding her as I spoke.

“Soon, but I won’t be able to do it in this armor. I have an idea for getting past their spies,” Luna replied.


Perspective Change: Celestia
That Night


Gods I was tired, no amount of coffee or naps could seem to keep my eyes open as I dozed on my throne. At least until the next nightmare jolted me awake a few seconds later. This was a living Tartarus.

“Princess, there’s someone you should see,” Dawn advised urgently as she gently shook me awake.

“Court’s over,” I yawned before my eyes jolted open. It was another rogue, it had to be. Oh no, where were the guards? Were they alive?

“Tia?” an unexpected voice sniffled.

“Luna? Oh my goodness, are you alright?” I cried as I was the state my sister was in. Luna’s face was stained with tears and her coat looked like it hadn’t been washed in weeks. Even her beautiful mane hadn’t been spared, what little that was left had globs of dried mud stuck in it. But what drew my attention the most was how she was favoring one leg, as though it had been injured recently.

“I-I’ve been walking for so long, my wing-oh stars-my wing hurts so much. Please,” Luna begged, staggering as her time in the wilderness caught up with her. I was at her side in an instant to keep her from collapsing.

“Where’s Jekyll? Did he do this to you?” I demanded, feeling my anger rise.

“We-we got separated, these marauders just came out of nowhere. Tia, they had weapons that could kill Jekyll’s soldiers! He drove them back but one of them got me, he-he was some species I didn’t recognize and I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Oh it was horrible, he never let me rest or find any privacy. I had to pee myself as we walked. Then I was saved, one of Jekyll’s troops saw me and sacrificed himself to kill my captor but I was alone in the forest. I just kept walking, I think it’s been either two or three weeks now. Stars above, I’m so tired,” Luna explained weakly, her eyes pleading for comfort and safety.

“Of course, Dawn will help you clean up once we have you tucked in and some food on the way,” I promised as I all but carried my tormented sister towards her old room.

“Thank you Tia, thank you,” Luna managed as she struggled to remain awake.

“I’ve got the door,” Dawn stated as she ran ahead and pushed the heavy oak door open.

The instant it closed, a blinding flash engulfed all three of us.

“Sorry Tia, that deception wasn’t for you,” Luna apologized as she straightened.

“It was for our common enemy,” that dreaded voice added, making my heart sink and my muscles tighten in apprehension.
> Chapter 27: Satanic Botanic Panic
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Celestia


“I’d ask that you don’t teleport back until this evening, my infiltrators are keeping up appearances and it would cause a scene if there were two of you,” Jekyll requested.

“You bastard, you’ll get them all killed,” I spat, baring my teeth in anger.

“I’ve always wondered about that reflex, it doesn’t make much sense for a herbivore to show off how absolutely fucking pointless their bites are,” the monster mocked with an easy smile.

“Tia relax, we’ve mimicked your behavior almost perfectly. Any rogue spies won’t even know it isn’t you on the throne,” Luna consoled.

“As long as you don’t teleport into the throne room and fuck everything up anyway,” Jekyll added, planting the mental image of some impostor messing everything up into my brain. I grimaced at the thought.

“Celestia please, this is exactly what we wanted. Now we can get rid of those beasts once and for all,” Dawn reasoned, her words cutting through my reflexive anger for a brief moment before I saw a new reason to vent my rage.

“You dragged Dawn into this too? What is wrong with the two of you? She’s not part of this, I won’t have her put in this kind of danger,” I demanded. I closed my eyes and began the process of weaving a teleportation spell, but Luna’s hoof on my shoulder kept me from casting it.

“I’ve read the reports and I believe she’ll be quite helpful in keeping these talks peaceful,” Luna rebutted.

“She’s too funny to let any tensions build,” Jekyll agreed. Funny?

“What do you mean mister Jekyll?” Dawn asked, maintaining her politeness even through her confusion.

“I laughed for almost six hours after I read about your secret romance theory, Chelly and I have had a hate-hate relationship from the start. How anyone could think I would have feelings for the one that destroyed my home and all but killed my family is beyond me,” Jekyll explained. I had to wonder about my motives regarding that point, I didn’t have a reason for claiming responsibility for the sealing of the Crystal Kingdom. Why had I lied?

“Oh, that’s what you mean,” Dawn replied, “I didn’t mean to assume your feelings, I was just making a hypothesis about Princess Celestia’s thoughts.”

Could Dawn be right? Was I antagonizing Jekyll just for attention?

“Tia, are you okay?” Luna asked as my world started to spin. My vision darkened and I felt the floor rise to meet me as I passed out.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Bwahahahahahaha! Holy fucking shit on a hot pink pogo stick, she stopped breathing!” I laughed as Celestia hit the floor and her body sucked in the breath her mind had disallowed.

“Moon and stars Dawn, I think you might be on to something,” Luna gasped, “Shitfuck.”

“What?” Dawn managed through her confusion and concern for her preferred diarch.

“Jay, you have been telling the truth at least...right?” Luna confirmed as Dawn moved to Celestia’s side and tried to wake her.

“You know full well that I’d rather peel her skin off than say a kind word,” I deadpanned.

“Oh good, just making sure,” Luna replied.

“What?” Dawn repeated, a little louder this time.

“But that means she’ll be in competition with me again,” Luna sighed.

“Is this really worth wasting brain cells on?” I asked, shocking Luna out of her train of thought.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. Even if Tia decides to act, she can’t beat me in a competition I’ve already won. I finally beat her at something,” Luna replied, perking up.

“What in seventeen fucking oblivions are you talking about?!” Dawn roared, making Luna jump and causing me to tilt my head as I reevaluated the mare.

“You are a pony, that’s indisputable, but you don’t behave like one. Who and what are you really?” I asked neutrally, though barbed tendrils formed on my back and within my chest in case the royal advisor got violent.

“My name is Chained Dawn, former servant of your court,” Dawn spat.

“Chained?” Luna asked, “That doesn’t make sense.”

“It didn’t to me for a long time either, it was just my name. Then my fool husband got us wrapped up in things no pony should ever know about and….” Dawn began angrily before trailing off and looking away as she started to cry.

“He found a book, a book about summoning,” I guessed.

“Yes,” Dawn admitted.

“Incubus?” I guessed again.

“A pretty, at first anyway. The other ones came later.”

“Oh no, I’m so sorry,” Luna responded, bringing her hoof to her mouth.

“Shut up, I don’t need your pity,” Dawn snapped.

“You wouldn’t get it anyway, I don’t comfort liars,” I replied evenly, surprising Luna.

“What?” Celestia asked as she regained some consciousness.

“If you were a demon’s slave, you’d have visible scars. Magically inflicted scars don’t fade, I’ve seen enough to know that you’ve never been touched by even the most minor demon in Tartarus,” I elaborated, making Dawn bite her lip as I called her out, “I will give you some credit for knowing that Tartarus is mine though, that secret held for a long time.”

“Dawn, what’s going on?” Celestia asked as she picked herself up.

“She tried to seem more badass than she was by making up some story about being in Tartarus, but it takes more than that to fool my eyes,” I replied.

“Using their swears was a nice touch,” Luna added now that she had caught on.

“Dawn?” Celestia asked again.

“I’m sorry Princess, I was just trying to help,” Dawn apologized.

“Consider it forgotten, Chelly’s posturing is way worse,” I replied, sneaking in the jab out of habit.

“It’s fine, I’m sure you did your best to protect me after I was knocked out,” Celestia responded with a glare towards me.

“You weren’t knocked out Princess, you stopped breathing,” Dawn corrected, inadvertently shutting Celestia up.

“Consider it a gesture of good faith that I’m willing to forget what I just learned,” I offered, hoping to use my enemy’s pride to my advantage.

“Very well, I suppose this makes us...allies,” Celestia managed, almost choking on the word.

“Come the apocalypse,” I agreed.

“I suppose exchanging information would be a good place to start,” Luna suggested.

“Such as?” Dawn asked.

“Why oh why, dear sister mine, do you you have a crush on my husband?” Luna barely managed to ask through the laughter she was struggling to contain.

“I don’t….What….Is that really what’s important right now?” Celestia stumbled before her entire body froze and her pupils shrunk to pinpricks, “Did you say husband?”

“Alcohol was involved,” I explained, more in Luna’s defense.

“Give me a moment, I can’t think right now. You married that thing? How could you!? You knew I was meant to marry first. You knew it would negate my crown. When did you commit this treason?” Celestia demanded.

“Two days after I came back from the moon,” Luna revealed.

“I can’t...All this time?! You’ve been married for almost half a year and you haven’t claimed the title of queen? Why?” Celestia asked, her anger dissipating.

“The same reason I never killed you, you’re too damn good at running things when you aren’t chasing me around and starting wars in the process,” I allowed.

“My plot, if I was so good at my duties I wouldn’t…” Celestia snapped before trailing off weakly.

“Wouldn’t what sister?” Luna asked curiously as she approached the other alicorn.

Luna’s supportive hoof passed through empty air as a flash signaled Celestia’s retreat from the conversation, taking Dawn with her as well.

“Shit,” Luna swore, “I thought we were actually getting somewhere with her.”

“Abaddon, I want to know exactly where Chelly popped up within the hour. Get your long guns loaded as well, just in case she decided to be a dumbass and ignore my warning,” I ordered.

“Should I proceed to Canterlot?” Abaddon asked.

“No, we’d just tip off the rogues if Chelly actually managed to rub both of her brain cells together. Better to lay low and wait for now,” I replied.

“Do you think she’ll come back?” Luna asked, still focusing on her sister.

“She has to, we’re her only angle to play against the rogues,” I explained, “Chelly doesn’t fight if she can help it, and we’re her only chance to keep her precious little hoovsies clean.”

“Are you going to continue insulting my only blood relative every time you talk?” Luna deadpanned.

“Yes, I intend to keep slandering that demented bitch for a good while. Having to play nice for that long was like nails on a chalkboard and I’m still pissed,” I stated.

“Abby, could you open the door? I think a nice walk through town would help ease some tensions,” Luna requested with a firm stare in my direction.

“Alright, I guess some fresh air wouldn’t hurt. Not that Sunbutt would know, what with how freakishly pale she is.” I agreed.

“Really?” Luna asked, her voice devoid of emotion.

“Yes,” I declared.

“Then shut up, it’s getting annoying,” Luna ordered.

“Whatever,” I responded as the bay door opened and Abaddon crouched to let us off.

The walk through town was unusually quiet, the only sound being that of doors and windows closing. All it took was a shared look with Luna and we reached an unspoken, unanimous decision to start our investigation at the home of the most likely cause of the unusual behavior.

“Twilight, are you alright? Did something happen?” Luna asked through the door while I took up position next to her to watch for threats. I wasn’t anticipating one to come from inside the library.

“Quick, before it gobbles you up!” Pinkie cried as she yanked Luna right off her hooves and into the building before I could do anything. With no other appealing options, I simply entered the library normally through the unlocked door.

“What? How’d you do that?” Dash challenged as she saw me walk in.

“It was open,” I replied, causing more than one facehoof among the mares.

“How are we supposed to keep Zecora from eating us if we can’t even lock the door properly?” Rarity lamented, falling onto a sofa dramatically, “Oh woe, perhaps we shan’t survive this fright after all.”

I had been confused many times in my long life, but this had to be the absolute epitome of the feeling. All of this over Zecora, just the thought made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Not to mention that I actually did eat people and none of them were worried about me.

“Who’s Zecora?” Luna asked.

“Please don’t get them started again,” Twilight begged, “She’s just some hermit that wears a spooky cloak and wanders the town from time to time.”

“Why would you think she’ll eat you?” Luna pressed.

“Because she always comes from the Everfree, nothing good ever comes from there,” Pinkie asserted.

“I take offense to that,” I rebutted, deciding this was funny and keeping my interactions with the zebra to myself for the time being.

“I’m sure present company was excluded in her accusation dear,” Rarity placated.

“In any case, I’m going to speak to this Zecora and get to the truth of the matter,” Luna declared, marching towards the door despite Pinkie’s attempts to hold her back.

“Noooo, she’ll eat you up like hot sauce and cupcakes if you do that,” Pinkie insisted frantically.

“I very much doubt that, I can hold my own against Jay’s enforcers and I’ll have Jeff watching over me. I suspect Zecora will have a difficult time getting close enough for me to even consider defending myself,” Luna countered.

“I agree with Luna, we shouldn’t be hiding in here like scared fillies. We should be facing Zecora like the ponies we are. We faced Nightmare Moon bravely, why would this be any different?” Twilight challenged, drawing Pinkie’s attention long enough for Luna to slip away.

“But she’s really scary,” Pinkie whimpered.

“Because doctors are so scary,” I chuckled.

“Huh?” Dash asked.

“Zecora’s a friend, she’s a herbalist and is only here to buy and sell shit. She lives in the Everfree for the rare plants,” I revealed, making every jaw in the room drop.

“Dag nabbit Pinkie, why’d ya have ta go and get us all riled up over nothin’?” Applejack complained.

“I have a better question, why did Jekyll let us maintain our ignorance?” Rarity added, tossing me a light glare.

“Depends on how long this has been going on. I let you keep going today because it was funny, I didn’t know you lot were being weird about it before,” I replied easily.

“I guess that means Luna knew as well, no wonder she walked out there so confidently,” Twilight postulated.

“Nope, that’s just Lu,” I countered.

“Oh. So what do we do now?” Twilight continued.

“If you were decent ponies you’d let the rest of the town know that they can stop being stupid and go about your day, I’m gonna wander for a while,” I responded, allowing my voice to gain a serious edge.

“Yes, that would be the right thing to do,” Rarity agreed as she finally got off Twilight’s couch.

“Glad this was an easy one at least, no crazy bullshit space bears or anything,” I commented as I walked out and left them to correct their unintentionally bigoted behavior.

I didn’t happen across Luna nor Zecora as I wandered the streets, but a quick check with Jeff informed me that Luna had attempted to follow the zebra’s tracks back to her home to apologize for the town’s behavior. That section of the forest was one of the eighteen reserved for feeding my army so I didn’t bother assigning a guard to watch over my wife, there wasn’t anything bigger than a squirrel that could pass the perimeter before a Romeo snapped it up and turned it into fuel for my war machine.

They’d be fine.

“H-Hello? Can you hear me Mister Jekyll?” a voice asked, though I was alone on the street and couldn’t place where the voice was coming from.

“Who the fuck are you and how are you contacting me?” I asked cautiously. That is, I immediately bared my claws and got ready for a fight.

“Um, I’m David and I found your token. I’m talking to it in my universe. Your message said you could help with difficult problems and I thought-” David began.

“I’m not going to stand here and listen to your life story in the middle of the street. Give me a moment to get to my office and we can talk in person,” I interrupted, already getting bad vibes from this character. Either that or he was just an awful liar and was preparing to attack me as soon as he saw me, in which case he was cool in my book.

“Oh...uh, okay. My token is the leather jacket, you can use that to summon me. Oh, sorry, you probably didn’t need me to tell you that, I’ll shut up now,” David replied.

“This is actually my first contact with another displaced, all of my other knowledge comes from the pile of tokens in one of my storage rooms. I’ll summon you when I’m ready,” I corrected, genuinely grateful for the information.

True to his word, David kept quiet as I took flight back to Abaddon and fired off silent orders as quickly as I could the instant I landed. Everything would be ready by the time I reached the staging area, not that it would look like one by the time I got there.

I altered my form to appear more like a stereotypical warlord as I walked, adding the appearance of thick armor to my entire body and head. Black steel with countless dents and scratches around the equally countless sharp edges, obviously. By the time I reached my destination, I looked like a cross between a ringwraith and the guy from that Overlord game.

The staging area was equally twisted, with disguised enforcers ‘chained’ to the walls in all sorts of painful looking positions. I could tell the gryphon hanging by his toes was Tzu by the way he continuously passed his critical gaze over the others and corrected their positioning. I even had a trio of beaten and disfigured alicorns arranged around my chair. An eyeless and hornless Luna sat whimpering to the right while Celestia sat with an empty gaze and three legs to my left and Cadence was perfectly placed to use her clearly broken back as my footstool.

This would make one hell of an impression on anyone, it even disgusted me. Even Catrix had joined in on the act, as she was currently holding the indicated jacket as she waited patiently on the Celestia clone’s opposite side.

“Alright David, I’m in my office. How do I use this thing?” I asked, accepting the token and holding it away from me as I sat down and propped my feet up.

“You just hold it and say you want to summon me, that’s how I’ve always done it,” David replied.

“To the one identified as David, come now to my realm and speak your proposal,” I ordered, feeling the treated leather seem to quake in my grip as whatever otherworldly magics took effect.

I tossed the token back to Catrix as reality bent and a lone figure appeared in the false torture chamber. I noticed Catrix slip the bit of clothing around her bare shoulders before she walked behind my ‘throne’ and draped herself over both it and my shoulders to make me seem even more dominant in this world.

“You said your name was David, not Albert,” I challenged once I got a good look at the new arrival.

“I wasn’t even in costume when he got me, I just liked the style. How was I supposed to know some character from something or another wore the same kind of clothes?” David asserted, seeming more confident now that he could see me.

“Did you live under a rock? I didn’t even like Resident Evil and I know who Albert Wesker is and what he can do, the guy was in the movies and everything,” I countered.

“Well I didn’t, and now I’m stuck in some bullshit world with two bi...Jesus, what did you do to them?” David attempted before spotting the broken princesses around me and the sobbing one under my feet.

“The same thing I’ve done to all who’ve opposed me,” I replied, gesturing towards the other enforcers and their positions on the walls.

“This is too good to be true. Look, I don’t really have any powers, I can’t make zombies or shoot guns or whatever I’m supposed to be able to do. I need someone like you helping me if I’m going to get my revenge on those damn sisters, nopony laughs at David the great and lives. I have a full hundred kills already, I’m not a bucking joke,” David raved, seeming to enjoy his surrounding a little too much now that I had pointed them out.

“I see, and what would I get out of this?” I pressed, keeping up the appearance of being for hire. Internally, the decision was made. David would never leave this room alive.

“My world. I’m still aging, I’m not an immortal like all the others I’ve met. You can keep my world after I die,” David proposed.

“Hmm, I suppose the resources would be useful in building my empire if nothing else. Easy to get once the population is enslaved too,” I baited.

“This is too perfect,” David squeed, actually jumping in excitement. If this guy wasn’t a psychopath, he’d actually be pathetic enough to be endearing.

“Alright David Wesker, you have my support,” I declared as I stood and put enough pressure on the fake Cadence’s back to break it in another place. I extended my right hand to seal the deal and formed a third arm behind my back, one tipped with a spike gun.

As luck would have it, David was excited enough to grab my offered hand with both of his. This gave me the perfect chance to show my true colors as I pinned both of his hands with my left one and brought the weaponized arm up over my shoulder. David didn’t even have time to register what was happening before the launched spine pierced his sternum and carried his impaled body into the opposite wall, leaving him alive but several inches off the floor.

“I suppose I can clue you in now, I’m not a bastard like you. I don’t torture others for fun and I don’t kill over insults. I know my capabilities and limitations, so I set a trap for assholes like you. I claimed to be a conqueror to attract the real evil ones and kill them, and you blundered right into it. People like you make me sick to the point that I’m glad I’m not human anymore. I don’t want to share your species, I don’t want your taint on my genome,” I taunted as I shed my disguise and gestured for my enforcers to do the same.

“Hypocrite, I see the look of a killer in your eyes. You’re no better than me,” David accused as my enforcers closed in around us. I had to give him credit, he could take a hit and keep on talking. It honestly surprised me that he could talk at all with his ribs as messed up as they were.

“Maybe I am, maybe I don’t give a fuck. Sure, I’ve killed a lot of people. Tens of thousands of them in fact, but every single one of them was necessary. I’ll kill one to save a hundred any day of the week. But you’re just a nobody with a Napoleon complex and the lack of self respect to ask others to kill for you,” I berated angrily, feeling saddened by this monster’s very existence. I’d seen his type here and on Earth, and they always left me feeling disappointed in their species. At least I could make this one right, “But you’ve never actually seen what that looks like have you? Perhaps a demonstration would help?”

“Oh god, oh no. Please, no,” David begged weakly as he soiled himself and my children bared their teeth eagerly.

“Fuck you. Make it slow but don’t eat him, I don’t want any of you corrupted by his bullshit,” I commanded, prompting my children to swarm on the screaming human with no hint of remorse or hesitation. I felt nothing as I walked out with Catrix and left the false torture chamber turned real one in my wake.

“Nice acting Jay,” Catrix complemented once we were far enough away to speak comfortably over the distant screams.

“Not so bad yourself, really sold the all conquering thing,” I replied.

“Heh, you know a succubus slave is what every male secretly wants. It’s practically required to even claim the title of ‘World Conqueror’,” Catrix boasted.

“Gee if only I had one of those, oh wait,” I teased, receiving a punch to my shoulder.

“Whatever, we both know you don’t give a fuck unless I ask nicely,” Catrix countered, “Or at least you did before you went and got hitched without even inviting me.”

“Sorry about that, I was really drunk,” I apologized.

“I know, and I’ll forgive you as soon as you talk Luna into a proper three way,” Catrix replied in a way that left me wondering just how serious she was.

“The fuck?” I asked.

“Look, the freedom is nice but I don’t get the same thrill as I get from wearing your resolve down over the course of years,” Catrix confessed.

“I’m not saying anything. You’ll get your wish when and if Luna decides to ask for it,” I stated firmly, making sure Catrix understood I wouldn’t be budging on that point.

“Alright fine, but you be sure to let me know the next time you need to entertain one of your guests,” Catrix compromised.

“I wouldn’t dream of keeping you out of my schemes,” I agreed as we passed Catrix’s door and she stopped to head inside.

“See you later Jay, this was fun,” Catrix bid as she entered her room.

“See ya,” I replied with a wave before stopping at my own door and heading inside to wait for Luna to turn up with tales of her adventures.

I took the opportunity to immerse myself in the goings on of my forces and see precisely how they disposed of the displaced. I didn’t need to be hooked into Abaddon’s senses to feel the cannon shot that signaled David’s high speed burial, if you could call the explosion of viscera and bones that occurred when the pile of severed chunks slammed into a boulder in the forest a burial. Good riddance.

It occurred to me that I had killed a human and felt nothing, a thought that concerned me and made me wonder just how human I still was. Was I just as insane as that psycho, just more stable? I’d be keeping an eye on myself for sure after that, and talking to Luna about it. Just had to wait for her to finish her undoubtedly engaging conversation with Zecora.

While I wasn’t particularly fond of taking such a direct role in the management of the enforcers, it did give me the opportunity to catch up on the goings on around the world. For better or worse. The repeated communications from that unknown rogue were starting to scare some of the lower ranked enforcers in India division, for example. But what caught my attention and held it the longest was discovering that the unknown creature from Brismane had actually killed one of the Romeos that had been searching for it.

This troubled me, I sympathized with the creature but I was also unwilling to risk either my troops or the civilians in my efforts to make peace. After some deliberation, I decided to restructure the search parties into squads instead of individuals. The search would go much slower, but the increase in safety would make up for it.

It wasn’t until late the next morning when Luna finally returned, though she got Abaddon to hide her approach and wouldn’t come into our room.

“Jay, I have a problem and I don’t know what to do,” Luna began, speaking through the door. I hadn’t pushed Abaddon for information when he relayed that Luna didn’t want me to see her until she was ready, so I didn’t know what was going on.

“You can start by telling me what happened, that’ll probably help,” I suggested.

“I don’t know what happened, that’s the problem. I got lost on my way to Zecora’s and ended up falling asleep in the forest, when I woke up I...uh...I don’t know how to say this,” Luna attempted, faltering when it came time to describe what was wrong.

“If it’s parasites, I can handle those easily enough,” I offered, going down the incredibly long list of possible conditions Luna could be suffering from.

“I don’t think I have any parasites,” Luna began before mumbling, “Not sure I can have parasites right now anyway.”

“Just open the door so I can see what’s wrong, I swear I won’t judge you,” I promised.

“Somehow I doubt that,” Luna grumbled as she pushed the door open and walked inside.

“Interesting,” I commented.


Perspective Change: Luna
The Previous Day


This was a stupid idea. I should’ve just gone back to Jay and pestered him into walking me to Zecora’s home. He obviously knew her, she was living in his forest. Though that line of thought gave me a new idea.

“Hey, I could use a little help here!” I called, expecting the squad of enforcers I no doubt had following me to appear and guide me to my destination. I was sure Jay had assigned some, the Everfree was just considered deadly at the best of times for the most prepared. But I had no supplies, no view of the sky through the thick canopy, and no clue where I was.

I never got a response. I hoped it was just Jay playing a trick on me, that he was stalking me himself and waiting for me to learn some lesson or prove something before he casually walked up and made everything better.

I wandered for hours, never seeing anything larger than a squirrel or rabbit. None of them turned out to be enforcers either.

Twice I tried to force my way through the trees and fly home, both times ended in failure as the ensnaring branches seemed to ignore my magic and push me back to the ground. It seemed the Everfree itself wanted me here.

I noticed my vision losing some vibrancy and realized that it was getting dark, I’d either need to find Zecora soon or start looking for somewhere safe to bed down for the night. A rumble in my belly chose that moment to remind me of another need I had been neglecting.

“This is a fine situation you’ve gotten yourself into Luna, lost in the Everfree forest with no clear way out or a hint as to where you’re going. Maybe if you had bothered to get your armor before blundering in here you’d be able to escape. But noooo, you just had to run off right away,” I berated myself as I looked for something edible.

The trees finally opened into a covered clearing, maintaining my imprisonment but affording me some potential food as the field was covered in flowers. I made sure to check them over for poisons before licking the first one, finding it surprisingly tasty. I snacked on these convenient flowers until I was full and decided this was as good a place as any to sleep for the night, I’d set a fire or something tomorrow and get out of this wretched place.

My improvised bed left much to be desired when compared to the one I had aboard Abaddon, but it would have to do. At least that impossibly thick canopy would keep the rain off of me.

I managed to drift off to sleep after a couple hours of lying there worrying about my situation, my dreams plagued with nightmares of various monsters attacking me in the night and tearing me apart only to put me back together for the next one to savage all over again.

“Testing your resistances Jay? Or have you lost your way? You know of Poison Joke and how dangerous it is to poke. What possessed you to to roll and rest...You are not Jekyll before me, who is this new creature I see?” a strange voice asked, rousing me from my troubled sleep and causing me to scramble to my hooves and fall onto my face when I discovered I no longer had hooves.

“Wha-What happened to me?” I asked in fear as I brought my forelegs up to my face and realized they were arms now.

“Poison Joke plays tricks on those who wander in thick. They are changed in body not mind, to something it thinks will be benign,” the voice replied, easing my fears and prompting me to sit up the way Jay did so I could see who I was talking to. At the edge of the clearing stood a lone zebra wearing a pair of saddle bags overflowing with various herbs.

“You must be Zecora, I came out here looking for you. I wanted to apologize for the way Ponyville has treated you and to promise that you’d be welcome there from now on. I wasn’t expecting to turn into this in the process though, that’s a new one,” I commented in zebrican, making Zecora’s eyes widen as she recognized the dialect.

“I recognize the old tongue; but among those who can speak it, I am not one,” Zecora confessed.

“The old tongue? It was just called zebrican when I learned it as a filly,” I replied on reflex.

“You must be a princess to that time bear witness. Be you the mare of the moon who returned just soon?” Zecora asked.

“Most just call me Luna these days, or at least they did before I became this,” I responded with a dejected look at my new hands.

“Poison Joke need not cause strife, there exists a cure to undo this life. Give me hours three, then meet me in my home within the tree,” Zecora instructed.

“I came out here to help you and ended up needing your help, thank you. What I said before was that I’d make sure you were welcome in Ponyville from now on,” I replied, my spirits lifted somewhat.

“I trust the truth is what you speak, but sense there is something else you seek,” Zecora pointed out.

“You’re a shaman, the rhyming gives that much away. In the times before I was banished it was the shamans who were tasked with keeping the martial secrets of the tribes and teaching the next generation. I would’ve asked you to teach me some of these skills, but I think it would be too much to ask considering you’ve already promised to give me back my body,” I explained sheepishly.

“You do not seek any fight, I pity you this plight. My knowledge is hoarded yes, but an eager student may pry it from my chest. If you ask nicely,” Zecora agreed with a smirk, making me jump slightly as she dropped the rhyming and accepted me as a student in the same statement. I knew what that gesture meant, she was serious about being my teacher and wanted to know for sure that I understood every word she said.

“When do we start?” I asked, smiling now that I had a new combat instructor to fill in any gaps Jay left in my training.

“We’ll begin the day after you finish your current lessons,” Zecora replied, making my eyes widen in surprise, “Oh don’t give me that, I get regular updates from the enforcers who hunt these woods. I know exactly who you are and who’s teaching you the ways of the world. I also know he’s been leaving me things to teach because he knows I’m better at teaching them than he is. Go back to your husband for now and learn the basics so I don’t have to waste my time on them, then come back here for the real techniques.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” I agreed with a determined nod.

“Then you’re either a fool or that body is already getting to your head, you’re going to hate every hair in my mane by the end of the first week. My previous students did, and they made sure I knew it,” Zecora laughed as she turned to walk away and left me to awkwardly crawl after her.

“Wait, I don’t know how to walk and I’m still lost,” I cried as I struggled to follow the zebra.

“Then your first lesson is about willpower, learn to walk,” Zecora ordered as she disappeared into the trees.

“Fuck!” I swore, rolling onto my back to think.

I’d seen Jay get up from this position countless times, but he’d done it so many ways that I didn’t know what I was actually capable of replicating without his mastery over his form. I started with what appeared to be the simplest, placing the bottoms of my feet on the ground and trying to stand. All this accomplished was pushing my hips into the air before my back slid across the foliage covered ground and I was back in the same position as before.

With that in mind, I tried bringing my hands into the equation. By bracing my upper body with my arms, I was able to get my legs under me and lift myself into a standing position. Until I tried to take a step and lost my balance, then I was face down in the Poison Joke again.

Now that I knew how to stand up, I just had to work out how to take my first steps as a biped. I counted my lucky stars that my constant falling didn’t hurt, but it was still over an hour before I managed to take a single step without tipping over.

“Huzzah! Gravity, your power over me weakens,” I cheered, “Now I just need to know where to go.”

“You’re facing the town right now, go straight,” a hidden figure replied.

“Where were you lot when I was lost last night?” I asked angrily.

“Either busy with our assigned tasks or placing bets on how long it would take before you teleported home,” the enforcer answered easily, making me bring a hand to my face with an audible slap. I was a complete dumbass, I could’ve left at any point.

“Who won?” I groaned.

“I did, you gained me a great deal of fresh meat last night,” the enforcer answered with a short laugh.

“Glad I was good for something last night,” I deadpanned, “You said straight ahead? I trust you’ll repay me by helping me get out of here?”

“Sure, I need to head back anyway,” the enforcer agreed, finally revealing a feminine form as she emerged from the side of a tree.

“Why the male voice? What’s your name anyway?” I asked idly as we set off, the enforcer much more confidently than myself.

“Helps me fly under the radar among my brothers and sisters when I don’t want to be noticed, Lord Jekyll had his shy moments growing up and I got a lot of those traits. Romeo Two-Five at your service ma’am, I’m one of the oldest and predate the birthing pods that the later generations came from,” Two-Five replied.

“There are so many questions I have now,” I commented, “He used to be shy? Then how were you created? Why are you a Romeo if you’re older than the others?”

“Slow down mistress, I can’t answer them all at once and still be understandable. Everyone has times in their life when they’re feeling anxious about being in public, there’s nothing unusual about that. I was torn directly out of Lord Jekyll’s body, a very painful experience for both of us. I’m in Romeo division so I can keep an eye on the dunderheads that can’t pick a profession or have low aptitudes, I actually turned down a position in India division to keep this job. I enjoy coasting through life without anyone remembering I exist,” Two-Five explained.

“Kinda messed that up, I know you now,” I pointed out.

“Sure, but I don’t think you’d mess that up for me. I see that same apprehension in you and figure you’ll appreciate having the most forgotten grain of sand on the beach as someone to talk to,” Two-Five countered, her speech unwavering as she caught me and helped me past the root I had tripped over.

“Thanks, walking on two legs is hard,” I replied as I steadied myself and set off again.

“You could shift some mass a little lower, your center of gravity is pretty high,” Two-Five suggested.

“I have no idea how to do that and I’m not certain I should, Zecora will be able to change me back later and I don’t want anything out of place,” I rebutted.

“Makes sense to me, but you’re still top heavy and that’s going to be a problem. Look at my breasts, they sit nice and flat against my chest while still giving me enough bust to let anyone know what I prefer to be called. These things you’re packing could be used as weapons if you ever got your balance sorted out, I mean damn,” Two-Five ribbed, poking one of the lumps in question.

“H-Hey, I don’t think that’s appropriate,” I protested.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. The one time I try to be social and I make an ass out of myself, typical,” Two-Five apologized as she pulled away and tried to disappear back into the trees.

“Wait, it’s alright,” I stammered as I desperately grabbed at the enforcer. Without her I’d be lost and alone all over again.

“You don’t really want me around, you just need me to show you the way out,” Two-Five accused sadly as she continued pulling herself into the darkness, though my grip on her arm and waist kept her from vanishing entirely.

“I do need your help, but I’m not as shallow as you think. You caught me off guard but that doesn’t mean I want you to go, I think we could be lasting friends if you stuck around,” I rebutted.

“You really mean thaaaaah-oof,” Two-Five managed before I lost my balance and fell over, taking the enforcer with me and ending up with both of us in a tangle of limbs.

“Two-Five?” I began, not trusting my body to get out of this mess.

“Yes?” Two-Five asked.

“You need a real name, let’s come up with one as soon as you get off of me,” I proposed, adding a bit more emphasis on the latter part of my statement.

“Sorry,” Two-Five apologized again as she easily disentangled her arms and legs before helping me up.

“Much better. Now don’t run off like that, alright?” I chided gently, as though I was dealing with an upset foal instead of a several hundred year old killing machine.

“Alright,” Two-Five grudgingly agreed, “You really think I should have a real name? I admit that I’ve thought about it a few times, what kind I’d want and so on.”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked encouragingly, feeling like I’d need to boost this enforcer’s confidence if I was going to have any hope of making it home.

“A pony name, that’s pretty much a given. Pony names are just adorable. What do you think of Hidden Veil? Like the cloth, but it fits because I live in the woods where there are vales...that are hidden...oh god I feel stupid…” Two-Five began eagerly before faltering and going quiet. I nearly tipped us both over again holding the enforcer and keeping her from fleeing the exchange.

“I...like...it,” I grunted as I struggled to keep the squirrely enforcer where I could see her.

“You do?” Veil confirmed, abruptly halting her struggles and causing me to fall over once more.

“Hello ground, it’s good to see you again,” I greeted sarcastically, “Yes, I like the name.”

“So I can be Hidden Veil? Rumor has it that Lord Jekyll said you could name us,” Veil asked as I lifted myself and repeated the annoyingly complex actions involved with standing.

“That’s right Veil, you have a name now,” I clarified, finding all of my hard work undone in an instant when Veil tackled me in her excitement, “Did you miss me ground?”

“Sorry,” Veil apologized again.

“It’s alright, I’m just starting to get tired of this body and the whole two legs thing. It just feels unnatural,” I complained.

“You could lean on me for balance,” Veil offered, extending a hand to help me up.

I accepted her offer and her hand only to be lifted completely off my feet and deposited onto Veil’s back, “This isn’t what leaning means!”

“Changed my mind, this is faster,” Veil replied as she took off running, leaving me to hold onto whatever I could to avoid falling off.

“Veil, I don’t think this is safe!” I called over the sound of the trees screaming past us.

“Don’t worry, we could collide with one of these trees and be fine!” Veil rebutted, “We’re also eight miles from home and it’d take days to get there at the pace we were making before, this is much faster!”

“Wait, you say that like you’ve crashed-” I managed before Veil lost her footing and we careened into a particularly large tree hard enough to knock it out of the ground entirely and send it flying into more of its kin.

For my part, I managed to keep from panicking as I flew through the air before transitioning into an uncontrolled tumble and slamming into yet another tree.

“Damnit Veil, couldn’t we just fly there?” I snapped, getting no answer. I noticed there was still something in my left hand and held it up to see what I had held onto, finding a large chunk of Veil’s neck in my grasp. At least there was for a good second before tendrils popped out of my hand and absorbed the biomass, freaking me right out.

My screams of terror and disgust brought the rest of Veil to my side in an instant, her mouth trying to speak even as the gaping hole in her neck healed before my eyes. She paused once she recognized that I couldn’t understand her and waited for her ability to speak to return before trying to utilize it once more, “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

“I-I ate part of you. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do it,” I apologized frantically.

“Don’t worry about it, we do that all the time. That’s even how we feed Abaddon,” Veil explained, easing some of my fears.

“But now I’m different, what’ll that mean when I change back?” I pressed, beginning to properly panic.

“Let’s get you up and I’ll see where that mass decided to make a home,” Veil proposed as she lifted me onto my feet and walked a circle around me, “I’m really dense, so you got a lot more than it probably looked like to you. You filled out a fair bit on the arms and legs, I’d expect some extra muscle when you turn back into a pony. The rest...my word, it’s beautiful.”

“Nothing ba-eeek!” I screeched, feeling a sharp strike to my hindquarters and jumping into the canopy in surprise.

“Damn, I was hoping for a nice jiggle. You had one hell of a firm ass before didn’t you?” Veil guessed.

“This is so far beyond inappropriate, I’m happily married and I’m not a fillyfooler,” I snapped.

“I’m not attracted to you either, but word gets around and I thought…I thought you’d like me more if I mimicked Catrix a little. You’re friends with her after all,” Veil confessed quietly.

“This isn’t how you normally act?” I confirmed suspiciously as I searched for a way down from the high branches I had ended up in.

“No, it’s been really hard to keep this going. I thought I was really making progress when you grabbed my breast, like we were becoming closer. But it’s just biomass, it doesn’t mean anything, I know that as well as anyone,” Veil continued.

“I did what now? I don’t remember doing that,” I challenged.

“When I was running you grabbed my breast and held onto it while your other hand grabbed my neck. That kind of hold is really intimate back on Lord Jekyll’s world and I thought you were making a point. I guess it was an accident, another stupid mistake on my part,” Veil elaborated sadly.

“Veil, listen to me now. We’re friends, it’s official. You don’t need to worry about any of that stuff because friends forgive each other, so consider all of your Catrix inspired actions forgotten. We’re good, just two bioform friends heading home after a night in the forest. Can you think that way for me Veil?” I instructed.

“Yeah-Yeah I can do that. Didn’t you say something about breaking through the canopy and flying back? That sounds like a great idea. But you’re going to need to cut away the branches because I won’t fit with my wings extended,” Veil replied after a moment’s hesitation.

“I don’t know how to do that,” I admitted, looking at my clawless hands.

“It’s super easy, just imagine claws on the ends of your fingers and focus your willpower into moving the flesh. I could do it right after I was created, but it took a long time. It’s gotten a lot easier since then thanks to all the practice I’ve gotten,” Veil instructed.

“Jay does this so easily,” I commented as I focused everything I had on altering my hands.

“Lord Jekyll has shifted several thousands of times as much as I have, it’s as natural to him as breathing would be to you if you still did that,” Veil replied.

“Huzzah!” I cheered as my fingers broke apart and rebuilt themselves as long serrated claws.

“Gee, I wonder where you got that design,” Veil teased, referencing how similar my claws were to Jay’s.

“Whatever works,” I replied as I easily slashed through the thick branches around me and carved a hole in the canopy large enough for us to fit through.

“I’m gonna jump now, get ready for me to grab you as I pass,” Veil warned as she crouched.

I made sure I wasn’t caught on anything and held out my clawed hands for my friend to pull me up by before signaling for her to jump. Everything seemed to go perfectly until my neck caught a branch I had neglected and ripped me from Veil’s arms to crash back into the hard soil below.

“I think I hate this forest,” I groaned as Veil dropped back down to retrieve me from my small crater.

“You are hitting every branch on both the proverbial and physical trees,” Veil agreed as she helped me up for what I hoped would be the final time, “Okay, round two. You ready?”

I hugged myself to the enforcer as tightly as possible before nodding into her chest and hoping for the best. I felt the ground disappear from under my feet and wrapped those around my savior as well, using them to help brace against the abrupt change in direction when Veil’s wings shot open and we began to actually fly.

Flying was no longer a fun exercise, rather it was a terrifying strain on my mind as image after image of me falling to my doom played through my mind. I really missed my wings.

“You okay down there?” Veil asked after a while.

“Too scary, this is way too scary. I really want my wings back now,” I rambled in reply.

“Ouch, without your natural magic or our stolen substitute you wouldn’t be able to fly even if you replicated them. Combine that with your unwillingness to consume any more biomass and you’re pretty much screwed until you can turn back to normal,” Veil agreed, doing nothing at all to ease my fears.

“Good news, I need good news,” I demanded desperately.

“I can see Abaddon, we should be there in about a minute or so,” Veil revealed, giving me a whole new list of fears.

“Shit shit shit, I need you to put me down before we get there and keep Abby from telling Jay what I’ve become. If he sees me like this before I get a chance to talk to him he’ll assume I’m a rogue and kill me. Abby has to keep my appearance a secret long enough for me to get a word in and explain what happened,” I ordered as my mind reeled in terror.

“In all technicality, you are a rogue. You aren’t under Lord Jekyll’s direct control or beholden to any of his rules or laws, that makes you a rogue bioform. My word and reputation should be more than enough to keep Abaddon from swatting you out of the sky though, so there’s that,” Veil continued, setting a record for the most unhelpful or reassuring person I had met in my long life.

“You know that thing where doctors lie to their patients to keep their spirits up when they’re going to die?”

“Bedside manner?”

“Yeah, you suck at that.”

“It’ll be fine, just let me touch down on the canopy and drop you off. You’ll see,” Veil promised as she tilted down a little too far.

“Veil, ease up,” I warned, but it was too late to correct our trajectory.

One loud and environmentally damaging reunion with the ground later, Veil limped off to secure my entry into my home while I moved to a position just inside the treeline to watch and wait.

“Today sucked,” I commented to no one as I spied Veil flying back down to meet me.

“Okay, so it looks like Lord Jekyll believes me and has allowed Abaddon to hide you. He doesn’t know what’s happened but I let slip that you weren’t happy with how things went in the forest, he probably thinks you’re covered in muck and are feeling embarrassed by it. Let’s go before one of them changes their mind,” Veil urged as she looped around behind me and lifted me from under my arms.

“What is it with you and my breasts?” I griped as I was bodily carried onto the deck.

“That wasn’t actually intentional, sorry,” Veil apologized as she set me down.

“It’s all biomass right?” I joked gratefully as I waved and set off to let my husband know what kind of mess I had found myself in.

I paused at the door and hesitated before speaking through the door, feeling like a coward for doing so but I also didn’t see a better way to tell my side of the story, “Jay, I have a problem and I don’t know what to do.”

“You can start by telling me what happened, that’ll probably help,” Jay suggested, making me cheer internally that he did believe it was me speaking to him.

“I don’t know what happened, that’s the problem. I got lost on my way to Zecora’s and ended up falling asleep in the forest, when I woke up I...uh...I don’t know how to say this,” I attempted, forgetting the name of the plant that had done this to me and wondering why I hadn’t gotten Jay’s memory along with his biology.

“If it’s parasites, I can handle those easily enough,” Jay offered, making me cradle my head and wonder what the fuck had gone wrong in my life. My body actually hurt from how stupid that possibility sounded when compared to the life ruining implications of what had happened to me.

“I don’t think I have any parasites,” I began before realizing I should probably drop a hint to make this easier and mumbling, “Not sure I can have parasites right now anyway.”

“Just open the door so I can see what’s wrong, I swear I won’t judge you,” Jay promised.

“Somehow I doubt that,” I grumbled. This was it, moment of truth. I took a deep breath and steeled myself as she pushed the door open and walked inside, expecting to feel myself being torn apart the instant I made eye contact with the room’s other occupant.

“Interesting,” Jay commented, his curious but non-hostile response hitting me like a punch to the gut.

“That’s all you have to say? Not, ‘who are you and where’s Luna’? Not ‘I’m gonna rip you apart for what you did to her’? Just ‘interesting’?” I challenged before slapping myself to cut off my self damaging words.

“You smell the same, but with a hint of a certain flower that pranks it’s victims. I know it’s you Luna,” Jay explained, slaughtering my fears instead of me.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I had never been tackled by another of my kind, nor had that assailant violently kissed me while holding my head still with razor sharp claws. The whole thing gave me mixed messages that made me laugh internally at how ridiculous this had gotten in so short a time.

Of all the times Luna had gotten overwhelmed by her emotions and kissed me, this one was fundamentally different in that she wouldn’t need to breathe. We laid there with our lips locked and tongues writhing for hours before Luna finally pulled away with a much more relaxed look on her face.

“I needed that, the past couple of days have been awful,” Luna sighed contentedly.

“I bet, it took me weeks to get comfortable with my new body. But why didn’t you just teleport back when you got lost?” I asked.

“I-I didn’t think of it,” Luna confessed, “Please don’t push it, I feel stupid enough already.”

“I know the feeling, hindsight is a bitch,” I replied with an understanding nod.

“Romeo Two-Five had to walk me out, but that wasn’t so bad. She’s a curious sort isn’t she?” Luna continued.

“Yeah, she tries really hard to go unnoticed but still pops up to sort out her division’s messes. She’s just about her own person at this point, I’ve been waiting for her to pick a name before setting her loose,” I revealed, feeling little other than pride at just how unique the enforcer in question was.

“Hidden Veil, spelled like the cloth. She picked it about an hour ago,” Luna replied.

“It fits her, such a quiet thing,” I mused.

“Heh, not with me. She about broke herself trying to be more like Catrix so I’d like her,” Luna chuckled, “She even touched me a couple times. Though it wasn’t anything too crazy, just some poking and a slap.”

“Really? I never figured her for the type to get violent,” I challenged.

“Not violent, per se, more like I accidentally ate part of her and she spanked me to see if my butt would jiggle. I jumped so high I got tangled in the canopy,” Luna laughed, however this caused me to lose all of my humor and push Luna up by her shoulders.

“You’ve taken in biomass?” I confirmed, now worried about what that would mean when Luna changed back.

“I know, it was an accident. There was a crash and I held on too tight and a piece of Veil was still in my hand and then it was gone,” Luna rambled, her voice retaining its former cheer even though her eyes showed the same fear I felt.

“This complicates everything, what did it do to you at that moment?” I pressed.

“My arms and legs filled out and my backside got a bit bigger according to Veil,” Luna answered.

“Best case scenario that transfers onto your normal body, worst case is that it doesn’t change at all and the Blacklight in your body eats you alive in seconds. Or it prevents the cure from working and leaves you like this forever, take your pick on which is worse,” I predicted sourly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose,” Luna apologized.

“Why are you apologizing to me? It’s your body and life that are being fucked with, I’m just trying to figure out what’s most likely to happen so we can plan around it,” I snapped with unintended anger that made Luna flinch, “Sorry, I’ve never had to deal with this kind of shit before. I don’t have the first clue about what the fuck we’re supposed to do.”

“Zecora should have the cure ready by now, I guess we should head there and hope for the best,” Luna sighed, "But this Poison Joke is new to me, where did it come from?"

"I have no idea, I noticed it popping up not too long after I got here. It's not from my world, I just thought it was a seasonal flower until Sig warned me away," I replied as best I could.

"But how did she know?" Luna continued.

"Rumors and afflicted ponies in town talking about how these new flowers were the cause of their problems. Didn't stop the rest of the town from hanging them though," I explained grimly.

"They must've been trying to prevent it from spreading," Luna guessed somberly, "I want this gone even more now."

“I think we need a pick-me-up first, magic like this might be affected by emotions. If Poison Joke works off of a deep seated desire then the cure might as well,” I hypothesized, recalling what little I had been told about the weed.

“That’s how it works? And you didn’t ask why I’d want to be like this?” Luna asked, distracted by the detail.

“I already know why, no sense in asking,” I replied with a shrug, “Now as for how to cheer-”

“You know why I thought about being like you? How? What?” Luna interrupted.

“You said a long time ago that you admire my strength and you seem to feed off of my lack of fear, it’s normal to want those for yourself,” I responded, “As I was saying-”

“That’s not why. I thought about being like you so I could see how your kind mates,” Luna interrupted again.

“They don’t, I’ve been faking it for your sake. I say we call in Chelly and laugh at-” I attempted, getting farther this time.

“You don’t find me attractive?” Luna asked, her shoulders drooping sadly as she jumped to conclusions.

“I found you attractive before, a different body wouldn’t change anything in my eyes,” I deadpanned, inwardly wondering where this was supposed to be going.

“So we can still have sex even if I can’t turn back into a pony? I don’t think I’d be able to live as one of your kind without that reminder that I’m wanted and loved,” Luna replied as she pulled herself back towards me and snuggled against my chest.

“Poison Joke doesn’t affect the victim’s mind, so you’d need someone who didn’t care what you looked like,” I reasoned, “All of my large scale plans would be ruined though, they depend on you and your magic. Not a big deal really, just means I don’t get to kill your sister at the end.”

“You wouldn’t anyway, you wuv her,” Luna teased, actually managing a chuckle at my perceived joke.

“Speaking of Chelly, what would you say to calling her in and laughing at her reaction to your new look?” I proposed, ignoring the joking accusation of a relationship with Celestia.

“That does sound funny, but we just spoke to her yesterday and I think this might damage our alliance,” Luna reasoned.

“Fair enough, but we could have Twilight send a letter explaining the situation and include a photo,” I amended, getting an evil grin out of the former alicorn.

“A thousand bits says we’ll hear her scream from here,” Luna wagered as she struggled to her feet.

“Hold up, have you been having problems walking like that all day?” I asked.

“Ground and I are on a first name basis now,” Luna replied.

“That’s ridiculous, why didn’t you say something earlier?” I chuckled as I grabbed Luna’s head and copied all of my knowledge and memories of walking and shifting onto Luna’s mind.

“Woah, that felt really weird,” Luna complained as she staggered back but maintained her balance, “Hey, I didn’t fall!”

“Yeah, that should be almost impossible now,” I replied as I closed the distance and pushed Luna towards the far side of the room. Though she slid across the floor, she never even swayed.

“Incredible, but what was that other thing you did?” Luna asked.

“How about you look in a mirror? You won’t be able to do it without looking just yet, but you shouldn’t have too hard a time fixing your looks,” I countered as a section of the wall flattened out and shifted to become reflective. Evidently Abaddon had been listening.

“Moon and stars, I’m hide-what’s going on?” Luna attempted as she saw herself change right before her eyes. Her skin went from my usual jet black in color to to a pinkish gray before midnight blue fur grew over her entire body, her eyes changed from my natural red with black sclera to her usual blue on white coloration. Luna’s horn sprouted from her forehead and her elegant wings sprouted from her shoulders. Even the shape of her head was altered as Luna’s exterior changed to match how she viewed herself.

“Your body and mind saw different things. Now that they can see each other, they’re finding a compromise,” I replied as I walked behind my wife and dug my fingers into her shoulders to massage away some of her worries. A pointless gesture, but I knew she’d appreciate it and feel some comfort anyway.

“Maybe that compromise will include losing some of this weight on my chest, it’s awkward to walk when I’m this top heavy,” Luna hinted, finding that her wish was granted immediately.

“They weren’t that big, just more than you were used to and positioned differently. I’d wager that was proportional to your normal body when compared to other ponies,” I pointed out.

“My teats are perfectly average for my body size thank you very much,” Luna replied warningly.

“And if you compared them to another mare without that context?” I pressed.

“They’d be massive. Damn it,” Luna conceded, “I wonder what else this body messed up?”

“You said consuming part of Veil added to your backside, aren’t you going to adjust that to fit your new shape?” I assumed.

“And lose my sexy rump? No way, just look at how it swings when I walk,” Luna refuted as she strutted away while looking over her shoulder at me.

“It’s not swinging at all, you need some flab to do that. You’re all muscle and bone normally and that transferred too, you’ll have to convert some of it to fat if you want an ass that moves when you walk,” I noted, getting a pout in response before Luna returned to the mirror and stared at her backside.

“Okay, try it now,” Luna ordered after nearly a minute of staring at her ass in the mirror.

“Try what?” I asked, apparently missing that memo.

“Spank it and see if it has enough jiggle,” Luna clarified.

“This has been funny and all but shouldn’t we be pranking your sister and seeing if we’ll be dealing with this for the rest of our lives?” I interjected.

“After I get my body the way I want,” Luna insisted, “Tia’s been so fucking proud of her butt for too long, now I’ll be the sister with the perfect flanks even if it takes me years of looking at myself in the mirror like some kind of nutcase.”

“Wow, didn’t mean to strike a nerve there,” I apologized defensively, caught off guard by the venom in Luna’s voice.

“Look at the accident with her freak teats, they came in a little early, and her flat flanks, isn’t she just hilarious?” Luna asked in a mocking impression of what I could only assume was a young Celestia. Luna barked a cruel laugh as though stuck in the memory until I finally relented and brought my hand down on her butt hard enough to make the targeted cheek ripple for several seconds and bounce for almost as long.

“You okay?” I asked as I saw the bloody tears running down Luna’s face.

“It’s everything I ever wanted, I feel more normal now than ever before. Can’t I stay like this forever? We could get the cure from Zecora and save it for when I really need to be a pony, while letting me stay like this in the meantime,” Luna proposed.

“Do you know why I keep the enforcers on such a short leash?” I asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“You don’t trust them,” Luna replied.

“Close, I don’t trust anyone. I can’t trust anyone with my abilities to keep from going mad with power, it’s a damn miracle I didn’t. We both know how destructive one Blacklight creature can be, can you really say adding one more into the mix is a good thing?” I challenged.

“Much less one with a history of mental issues,” Luna added sadly, “I understand. At least I can go have another jaunt through the Poison Joke if I need to feel pretty.”

“I’ll make sure we have plenty of the cure on hand,” I allowed, “But only if you promise to save that privilege for emergencies and special occasions.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Luna cheered as she jumped into my arms and kissed me several times before rearing back and biting deep into my shoulder, “Woah, sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

“Welcome to having predator instincts,” I replied as Luna climbed off of me and looked away bashfully, “You about ready for our prank?”

“Yeah, I think I’m done,” Luna agreed with one last look at the mirror.

“Great, you should be able to return to this form whenever you want now. I’m going to see if I can heighten Chelly’s reaction by molding you, not totally sure if I can but it should be interesting if I can get it to work,” I responded as I grabbed Luna’s left wing and retracted all of the feathers, “Looks like I can, this is gonna be fun.”

I took Luna’s featherless wing and recolored it to look more skeletal while also having her grow long spines that would hang down from the normal bone structure and replicate the wing’s typical shape. With that done I shifted my focus to Luna’s controversial breasts, making the right one a bit bigger and bringing the left one down to her crotch like that of a pony’s and shrinking it. I then turned my attention to Luna’s face and pushed the left side of her jaw in just enough for her teeth to hang out, teeth that I then reshaped into fangs capable of scaring off a manticore. Luna’s eyes came next. I returned the left one to its previous red on black color setup and stretched the right one to five times its normal size, though I had to move it further back on Luna’s head to do so without having to reshape too much of her skull.

I noticed Luna’s feet had returned to hooves at some point, so I left them alone aside from having the skin and visible muscles pull back to her knees. Luna looked at me in silence as I worked, though her oversized eye kept glancing at her right arm expectantly.

“Do you have something in mind?” I asked now that I had run out of other parts of her to mutate horribly.

“Can I talk like this? Huh, seems I can. I was thinking you should leave it as a bundle of tendrils once it passes the elbow,” Luna suggested.

“Nice, I’ll do the same for the other arm but move it to the bit between the elbow and the shoulder,” I agreed as I made the described changes. I made a few more minor tweaks and embellishments here and there to fine tune the horror show, mostly removing patches of Luna’s soft fur and replacing it with hard black scales, before declaring her appearance sufficiently horrifying for a picture to send to her sister.

“I’m scared to look in the mirror,” Luna admitted.

“Don’t, you’ll change back if you do,” I warned as I gently pushed my mutated wife towards the door. Luna didn’t resist and actually walked faster than me as we made our way towards the deck, growing more eager by the second, “Lu, you know there’s going to be a small panic when we get into town, just let me handle it and don’t take it personal.”

“Why would I care? I know I look like a circus sideshow, let them point and stare,” Luna dismissed.

“Why don’t I believe you?” I asked suspiciously as I lifted the other bioform and took to the skies.

Surprisingly, we were greeted as though nothing was wrong. Ponies waved and bid their greetings as though Luna was still a pony, making me wonder until Luna decided to ask the question running through my head, “Did Zecora tell all of you what happened to me?”

“Oh yes Princess, she told us all about that one Poison Joke petal on the trail. It could’ve happened to anypony really, it would be just mean to make fun of you for it,” Roseluck answered, getting nods from several others. I held back a snicker when Luna froze, she clearly didn’t know Zecora as well as she thought. That zebra said whatever suited her, so long as it rhymed she didn’t care if it was true.

“I-I see, thank you,” Luna managed before hurrying the rest of the way to the library and running inside.

“Did I say something wrong?” Roseluck asked, seeming upset.

“No, she was just expecting a more pitchforks and torches reaction and you kind of caught her unprepared for any kindness,” I replied loud enough for all of the ponies around to hear and understand the reaction they got. The locals nodded sympathetically and returned to their previous tasks as I walked off to catch up to my other half.

“So you're supposed to be Luna then? Why should I believe you aren't a spy sent to kill us all?” Spike asked suspiciously as he kept Luna from going any further into the public building.

“It’s her Spike, let us pass,” I confirmed before Luna had a chance to speak.

“How do I know you’re Jekyll? You shapeshifters could be anypony,” Spike challenged.

“No one impersonates me, it doesn’t matter if they’re a shifter or not. Even these days with all the rogues running around and causing trouble, not one of them has used my name or my face. That’s a one way ticket to the deepest pit I can find,” I boasted.

“Alright, you’re you. But how am I supposed to believe this used to be Princess Luna?” Spike persisted.

“You have a crush on the demon Catrix and asked her to be your doctor,” Luna replied, shutting Spike up and getting him to back away.

“That was kinda low Princess,” Spike complained as we passed.

“Would you have accepted anything less?” Luna challenged.

“Yeah, you didn’t have to embarrass me,” Spike continued indignantly.

“Then what should I have said, so we can avoid this in the future?” Luna asked.

“Tomahtoes and spinach casserole,” I replied instantly as I walked around the both of them and casually made my way up the stairs as though I hadn’t just said something so mind numbingly stupid as to lock both of them in place while they processed my response.

I left them there as I continued straight into Twilight’s room like I owned the place, finding Twilight and Pinkie bickering about some law of physics or another that Pinkie broke regularly.

“Hey Pinks, we need a camera down here,” I called interrupting their argument.

“No problemo Bestie,” Pinkie replied as she slung a confused Twilight over her shoulders and followed me out of the room, “Going for a portrait or wide angle?”

“Both, in that order,” I answered, “Luna got into some Poison Joke and we’re sending the results to her sister before we go and fix it.”

“What’s Poison Joke? It doesn’t sound funny,” Pinkie asked.

“It’s a weed that changes anyone who touches it in some way they would enjoy if it was any different. For example, Shy would probably get a really loud and deep voice, Twilight here would likely get a longer horn that didn’t work, and I’d guess you’d turn into Cthulhu or some shit. Luna turned into me, minus any skill with my abilities or a hint towards moving around in her new body,” I explained.

“You messed her up to make it worse didn’t you?” Pinkie giggled.

“You know damn well that that’s exactly what I did,” I chuckled.

Luna and Spike had recovered by the time we returned to the main room and had moved on to the logistics of using ‘tomahtoes and spinach casserole’ to identify each other when in trouble.

“Alright Lu, strike a pose,” I instructed as we descended the stairs. Luna stepped away from Spike and raised her hands as though she was preparing to lunge at an imaginary target.

“Oooh, I like it,” Pinkie giggled as she sprinted in front of Luna, set Twilight down, and pulled on the unicorn’s mane. Spike’s jaw dropped when Twilight’s horn flashed and a glossy photograph popped out of his surrogate mother’s mouth.

“My head hurts,” the dragon commented as Pinkie snatched away the photo before Twilight could react.

“Vundabar! Now for some pity shots, act like you’re disgusted with yourself for what a horrible monster you’ve become and make sure I can see that eye,” Pinkie ordered as she dragged Twilight around the library.

Pinkie had Luna assume pose after pose before deciding that Twilight only had two more picture’s worth of film and getting the rest of us into a group photo.

“Pinkie, I don’t know how you’ve been doing this but you can’t pull on my mane from all the way over there,” Twilight pointed out, though she appeared to doubt herself as much as everyone else doubted reality when they were around Pinkie.

“I’ll just use the delay function, silly filly,” Pinkie replied as she poked Twilight’s nose and ran back to the rest of us to smile at Twilight. Twilight seemed to recognize that her horn had started blinking and the time between blinks was growing shorter, but she didn’t seem to care at this point. I guessed that she’d given up on understanding Pinkie’s weirdness and how it affected everything around her.

One final flash and we had our pictures for Celestia and duplicates for ourselves, Twilight even retrieved the final photograph from her own mouth and declared that it looked good. There was only one problem with the group pictures.

Though we hadn’t seen him all day, Discord stood with his arms around Luna and I in the group scenes. I briefly wondered if he’d had a hand in any of today’s antics before dismissing my concerns as ‘highly likely.’

“My tongue tastes like ink, but that was surprisingly fun,” Twilight commented as Luna found a paper and quill to write out her explanation for the pictures.

“Yeah, I was expecting Pinkie to pull a camera out of a hidden camera stash but you apparently work pretty well yourself,” I agreed.

“A hidden camera stash? That’s just silly, why would I have one of those?” Pinkie asked.

“For camera emergencies?” I guessed.

“There’s no such thing as a camera emergency you silly goose,” Pinkie giggled.

“Then why do you have stockpiles of manticore jerky hidden all over Equestria?” I pressed.

“For jerky emergencies, duh,” Pinkie replied before bouncing off and leaving us to laugh at her nonsense. Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie.

“Alright, I’ve gotten the letter done,” Luna called as she replaced the quill and handed the letter and photos to Twilight for wrapping and sending, “Make sure she sees the pictures first.”

“This is gonna get us in so much trouble,” Twilight warned as she passed the rolled and tied paper to Spike, though she was still smiling.

“Don’t look at me, I’m just the messenger,” Spike chuckled as he sent the scroll on its way.


Perspective Change: Celestia
Canterlot Castle


I felt a familiar tickle as a bit of smoke drifted against the breeze towards me, the telltale sign of a message from Twilight and Spike. I smiled as it seemed they had chosen me after all and caught the sealed paper the instant it materialized, though a number of pictures fell into my lap when I unrolled it.

Curious, I looked down at the small stack before reading the accompanying letter and was horrified by what I saw. Some monster wearing part of Luna’s face was terrorizing the library.

I felt a rising dread in the pit of my gut as I moved that photograph to the back of the stack and looked at the same creature looking at itself in horror, as though it hadn’t always been this way. My mind wandered to a time long ago when Jekyll had warned me of his most terrible power, the one he called a curse. The disease in his blood that killed and mutated its victims. Could these be Luna’s epitaph? Her final moments caught on film? Just the thought made a creeping burn spread up my chest as my lunch rebelled against me.

When I got to the last picture, one featuring the thing that had been my sister along with Jekyll, the element of Laughter, and Discord, I snapped. Every candle and torch around me burned as hot and bright as the sun, their combined power only a fraction as hot as the rage in my soul. These heathens were celebrating Luna’s death and they had the gall to send me glossy color photographs of it.

There was still that letter though, perhaps it held something that would redeem this horrid situation. When I finally managed to pull my eyes away from the disturbing image resting on my leg and look up at the slightly singed paper, I found the hoofwriting looked like a sloppier version of Luna’s. My rage faded a little as I focused all of my attention on the page.



Tia,

Yes, I know what I look like in the pictures you’re no doubt furious over. Yes, I know that I look like something a dog vomited up after eating an entire nest of rats. But I’m fine, I’ll be back to normal before you see me again and we’ll all have a good laugh about this.

You see, I discovered something while hiking through the Everfree yesterday, a certain blue flower that plays pranks on anyone who touches them. I then proceeded to eat a great deal of Poison Joke, fall asleep in a field of the same, and wake up looking like Jay does on Thursdays.

I’ve already gotten a batch of the cure ready, but none of us could resist taking a few pictures to remember this fiasco and I wanted to share the memory with you before turning back into my old self. Jay did help with the looks before we started shooting, but rest assured that none of it hurt and it isn’t permanent.

I look forward to laughing about this with you later, preferably over a pint.


Best Wishes,
Luna




“That little bitch, I was actually worried about her,” I griped to nopony.


Perspective Change: Luna
Ponyville


“Do I really have to change back? Couldn’t I just pretend to be a pony for a little while?” I whined as Jay carried me through town.

“You probably could, but I’ve noticed this body changing my mind over the years and I can’t believe you’d want that. I actually murdered another human yesterday and didn’t feel a thing, that’s not who I used to be and it scared me. I don’t want you to turn into a remorseless killing machine like me and I don’t, I won’t, believe you want that either,” Jay argued.

“But I like being strong and invincible,” I pleaded, beating my fists on his back petulantly.

“Princess, you’re making a scene,” Twilight warned.

“I don’t mmmhmhhmhmm,” I attempted before my mouth sealed itself shut and my limbs locked in place.

“Bit of a fatal weakness there, don’t you think? One that could be exploited by any enemy with more shifting experience than you, like the tens of thousands of rogues that would eat you alive without a second thought,” Jay admonished.

I could only whimper in protest as Jay led our little group into the forest, leading us through the alien trees as though he knew exactly where he was going. What was I thinking? He probably did know exactly where he was going and how to navigate this impossible forest. He probably had names for every single tree and greeted them individually when no one else was around.

My thoughts only turned ever more spiteful as we traveled deeper into the forest, my mood getting darker as our surroundings did the same. I remembered a time long ago when the darkness fueled my power and allowed me to usurp the day.

My own fist driving into my face hard enough to deform my skull snapped me out of my dark thoughts and replaced them with fear, that had been the Nightmare talking. I needed to get out of this body as soon as possible, I needed my weak, fragile, normal one back right now.

Getting Jay’s attention was easy considering he was already looking at me in surprise, the only challenge became getting him to unseal my mouth so I could talk.

“You’re hungry?” Jay guessed as I motioned vaguely at my mouth with my one mobile hand.

“I think she wants to talk,” Twilight suggested, getting an eager nod from me.

“No yelling, we don’t need to scare away Abaddon’s breakfast,” Jay warned as my mouth unlocked and I took a moment to test my jaw.

“You can let me walk, I know now that you’re right about this. The Nightmare tried to take over a second ago,” I confessed, unable to hide my shame.

“You understand then why I keep this power sequestered as much as possible, everyone has their temptations but mine seem more benign than most. This world got lucky when I ended up here instead of someone else, you got someone who would be satisfied living peacefully in a shack instead of killing things for fun. Maybe I’ll figure out why I don’t want more than that someday, but for now I’m content to keep the peace,” Jay repeated, though it seemed to be focused towards driving that point into my head more than to clue Twilight in.

“Can I at least walk there by myself? I’m not going to run off,” I requested.

“Remember that I’m faster than you,” Jay cautioned as he unlocked my limbs and set me down to walk beside them.

“Thank you. What was that you were saying about killing a human?” I asked as we resumed our trek.

“Another displaced, he answered my call and believed I would help him conquer his world. He wanted you and Chelly in chains because the versions of you two in his world laughed at him for being such a psychopath even though he didn’t have any powers. I murdered him in cold blood and had his remains dumped so he’d never threaten that world again, the problem was that it felt like a chore,” Jay explained, his face unreadable in the low light.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I offered.

“I just did,” Jay replied curtly, falling silent. We walked in silence for a long while until I spied a light up ahead and informed the others.

“I think I see Zecora’s home,” I announced.

“Makes sense, we’re almost there,” Jay replied quietly. Silence reigned once more as we walked the rest of the way and came to a stop outside a hollowed out tree.

“You are quite late, I suppose I should be happy you got the right date. Your cure sits within, hurry up so we can begin,” Zecora called impatiently once she noticed us.

“In my defense, I was still struggling to walk home when your deadline passed,” I rebutted as I opened the door and walked inside the interesting home.

“Excuses are for the weak, is that truly the life you seek?” Zecora admonished as she led me to a massive bubbling cauldron that dominated the far half of the treehouse.

“No, I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“Zecora, there may be complications. You should stay outside while the treatment does its thing,” Jay advised.

“With germs like you running to and fro, it would be wise for me to go,” Zecora agreed, “Bathe in the brew and you will see, your new look will cease to be.”

I climbed the short staircase that led to the top of the cauldron and looked at the rolling green liquid with apprehension as Zecora departed to wait with Twilight and Pinkie. Was this it? Would that accident earlier today claim my life here and now?

“I’m scared,” I confessed, soon feeling a comforting hand on my shoulder as Jay joined me on the ladder.

“I’ll be right beside you the whole time. Even if everything goes wrong with the treatment, I’ll be able to pull the virus out before it can do any harm,” Jay consoled. I knew he was probably lying about my chances, but it made me feel better anyway.

“Okay, I’m ready,” I breathed before taking a step forward and dropping into the murky fluid.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


My skin tightened when Luna didn’t resurface immediately, prompting me to jump into the cauldron and feel around for her. My hand brushed something solid and I lifted the offending object before recoiling in surprise, it was an eye the same size as the oversized one that had been on the side of Luna’s head.

I fell against the side of the oversized pot and tried to figure out where I had gone wrong. I had been so sure that this would work, never even considering that the change in shape might have an effect. Now Luna was dead and it was all my fault.

“Wassa matter?” a small voice I didn’t recognize asked. Turning my gaze towards the sound, I could only sigh in relief and exasperation.

“At least this one I’ve dealt with before,” I consoled myself.
> Chapter 28: Growing Pains
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna


“Hey Luna, wake up,” Jay said as his hand shook me out of the nightmare I had been trapped in.

“Oh thank goodness, I had this horrible nightmare where I was a filly again and you had to change my diaper,” I mumbled through my usual morning grogginess.

“Pretty sure we’re past that point, you’ve grown into a lanky as fuck teenager,” Jay replied, shocking me to full wakefulness.

“Oh no, not this again,” I complained as I looked down at my badly proportioned body. I looked like a giant set of legs with a tiny body on top and massive teats that pushed into the sides of my legs. I hated these years.

“It gets worse, you wet the bed about an hour ago when you were still a child,” Jay added, piling even more onto my overburdened teenage mind. Without the faculties to process this properly, I fled with my face red from embarrassment and tears running down my face.

“You remember that bit about how I’m faster than you?” Jay teased as he caught me halfway down the hallway and easily picked me up, “What the hell Lu, didn’t your parents feed you? I think Twilight weighs more than you do.”

Much to Jay’s confusion, this only made me cry harder as my immature mind decided that I’d never be pretty or find anypony who’d love me.

“Luna, I can’t read your mind anymore. Without that bioform in your head I’m gonna need you to use your words and tell me what’s wrong,” Jay ordered softly as he turned me around and hugged me to his chest like a foal, not seeming to care about how my freakish legs stuck out at strange angles or how my uncooperative hooves kept digging into his sides no matter how I tried to position them.

“I-I’m a freak, an ugly freak with no friends,” I confessed tearfully, finding that Jay only tightened his grip when I spoke.

“If you don’t have any friends, then who am I?” Jay asked, confusing me. It wasn’t his question that puzzled me, it was the lack of an answer I had for it. I knew his name was Jekyll and that I called him Jay. I knew he was the only one who got to call me Lu. I knew that my...private areas felt warm when I caught a whiff of his smell. But I didn’t have any context for any of it.

“You’re Jay, but I...I can’t remember anything else about you,” I admitted, cringing on reflex for the strike I was sure was coming. It didn’t. All I got was a sad look from the surprisingly caring creature that was holding me.

“Are you used to being hit?” Jay asked sadly.

“Why didn’t you? Everypony else does,” I asked before I could stop myself.

“Who’s ‘everypony’?” Jay asked as he sat down on the bed I had woken up in and set me in his lap.

“Momma does when I’m in the way or get something wrong. Poppa won’t unless somepony else is expecting him to, his spanks hurt the most. Tia mostly makes fun of me, but she hits me when I do bad stuff too. Why am I telling you this stuff Mister Jay?” I replied before panicking over how much I was giving away. I was in so much trouble.

“Don’t worry Luna, none of them can hurt you here. What do you remember before you woke up today?” Jay continued calmly, though I could see the anger in his eyes that usually meant I was leaving with bruises.

“It’s weird, I think I was an adult. No, I was definitely an adult, and I was lost in the forest but I wasn’t afraid of the animals. I was strong, stronger than Tia, and I knew how to fight. Nopony could spank me then, not even when I missed a spot on one of the dishes....But I’m little now, how do I remember being so big?” I wondered.

“That’s the day before yesterday, you got into a plant called Poison Joke and turned into a thing like me. When we got you cured, there was a complication and you went back to being a filly. That all happened yesterday. You grew to this size overnight and seem to be getting some of your memories back, but they’re coming in pieces,” Jay explained.

“I really was all grown up? So I know you, but not from when I was young?” I confirmed.

“Yeah, you could say that. Tell me, do you know where we are?” Jay asked, as though he was fishing for something.

“Your house?” I guessed.

“THAT MADE ME SAD,” a huge voice rumbled, shaking the room and nearly scaring me out of my skin.

“What was that!?” I screamed in alarm as I tried to hide my awkward body under Jay’s arm.

“That was Abaddon, or Abby as you usually call him, we’re inside him right now. Abby is so big that lots of ponies can live in here and not hurt him at all, he even likes the company,” Jay explained.

“You live here?” I asked fearfully.

“Yes I do, and so do you,” Jay answered. I screwed up my face as I tried to figure out why I would choose to live inside some giant monster.

“I must’ve been really brave when I was big,” I commented.

“You might not see it, but you were brave as a filly too,” Jay asserted.

“Brave? I’m just a screw up, an accident that just causes more problems for everypony else,” I countered, looking away as I felt myself start crying again.

“Lu, look into my eyes and tell me what you see,” Jay instructed. I did as I was told and looked back at the creature holding me. I saw now what Jay had been talking about, he had a killer’s eyes. I couldn’t find any other way to describe the feeling, just the sense that he had killed a lot of ponies and would do so again. I’d seen that look in some of the dogs the master at arms kept. Though the dogs had given me many nightmares, I wasn’t afraid of Jay. I wished I knew why I wasn’t scared.

“You’re a killer,” I stated confidently.

“And?” Jay pressed.

“I’m not scared, but I don’t know why I’m not,” I confessed.

“Do you want to know?” Jay asked.

“Yes,” I replied, now nervous about the answer I was going to get.

“You’re not scared of me because part of you remembers that I’d never hurt you or let you get hurt. On some level you remember that good husbands don’t hit their wives,” Jay explained cryptically.

“Wait, hold on. Are you saying we’re...I actually got...ohmygosh, I got married?!” I stammered before squeeing in joy, “That means I actually grew up to be pretty, I won’t be a freak forever!”

“Someone said freak too many times, now I’m up and wondering what the fuck you idiots have fucked up this time,” another creature demanded as she barged in through a side door. This one made me uncomfortable, it was clearly female but excessively so. Her nakedness seemed to suck in my attention and leave me numb to everything else, everything except my rapidly heating nethers and my growing arousal. The creature froze when she saw me and allowed her jaw to fall against the perfect skin of her neck as she looked up and down my body, “Oh...my...damnation, she is SO CUTE!”

“I feel funny,” I whimpered as I forced myself to look away. If I had stared at the creature for any longer, I might’ve started rubbing my butt on Jay’s leg and embarrassed both of us.

“Cat, it might be wise to put on some clothes when there are puberty levels of hormones running through Luna’s brain,” Jay warned, saving me some public shame as I tried to hide behind my mane.

“Why? It isn’t like I wasn’t the one coaching her through her first lay,” Cat challenged.

“She was an adult then, you can go back to being your usual temptress self when Luna’s back to normal,” Jay allowed, adding more force to his tone. I liked Jay, he just kept defending me in ways I wasn’t used to.

“What’s a lay?” I blurted, catching even myself off guard.

“It’s not important right now. What is important is that you’re too young to be around a nude succubus,” Jay replied quickly, giving me the impression that Cat would’ve given me an answer he didn’t want me to hear. An honest one.

“Cat?” I asked, keeping enough of my mane in the way to block any view of Cat. Jay sighed in exasperation, but he didn’t try to stop me.

“I helped you have sex, the two of you were just sitting there awkwardly until you called me in to get you moving,” Catrix elaborated, nearly making me wet myself in surprise. I might’ve even done it if I hadn’t already emptied my bladder in my sleep.

“I’m not a virgin?” I confirmed, looking down at myself for any changes.

“You probably are now, your body reverted to that of a child remember,” Jay replied.

“I wish I could remember, it was probably a magical night where we celebrated our love after getting married at a big ceremony with all of our friends,” I assumed wistfully.

“It was a drunken one night stand after a party and we got married at some point but neither of us remembered it. Cat’s talking about your first time while sober, which was only a couple of weeks ago,” Jay corrected, shattering my daydream.

“So I’m still a screw up even as an adult, great,” I spat.

“Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but I don’t regret that night and neither do you. And stop calling yourself a freak, I’m a shapeshifting-warlord-doctor that accidentally conquered Tartarus. I’m the freak around here and I wear that name with pride,” Jay consoled before turning prideful and pointing forcefully at his chest with his thumb.

“Do I love you?” I asked, wishing I could remember.

“You make it very clear that you do,” Jay answered seriously, dropping his over the top attitude now that the conversation had shifted to a more emotionally impacting topic.

“Do you love me?” I continued, thinking this would be the most important question I could ask.

Jay hesitated and Cat began creeping back towards the door she had entered through, “That’s a more difficult one to answer. My biology doesn’t allow me to feel what you would call passionate love. I have those I consider my family, adopted brothers and sisters and their children, and I truly care about them. But members of my species don’t seek mates, we don’t breed and don’t have that drive to seek a partner. I care about you, I want to see you happy and safe, and that was enough for you.”

“Oh,” I replied simply, unsure how to feel about that. Part of me felt content but another part wanted to run away and cry somewhere quiet.

“Wait wait wait, hold the fuck up,” Cat interjected as she rejoined the conversation with newfound resolve, “You’ve never said it like that before, you’re sure it’s just the passion you’re missing?”

“The desire to find a mate, yeah,” Jay repeated, catching my interest.

“Don’t you know that the passion phase is temporary? It fades and romance fills in the gap, making the relationship stronger. Those old bastards aren’t getting much passion but the romantic love between them and their wives is a force of nature, you idiots just need to foster that and let it grow,” Cat admonished, seeming overly harsh.

“That makes a lot of sense and I feel stupid now,” Jay confessed as he brought a hand up to hold his head.

“So I’m loved as a grown up?” I confirmed.

“Not in the way you want; but yeah, it’s there,” Jay allowed.

“That makes this easier, thank you. You seem strong and you’re a king, I must have some really nice flanks to catch your eye; even if it was under the influence of alcohol,” I guessed, starting to feel really good about where my life had headed.

“I’d agree, but based on how you acted yesterday you don’t. Your adult body is solid muscle with next to no fat, you grow into a naturally athletic mare,” Jay corrected.

“Darn, do I at least lose these things?” I asked, gesturing towards my teats.

“They fit you well, you’ve said that they’re perfectly average for your body size,” Jay responded.

“That’s good, I guess. I was really hoping they’d shrink,” I replied somberly. It seemed like nothing about my adult body would be attractive.

“Lu?” Jay asked after I had a moment to think.

“Yes?” I replied politely.

“I’m not a pony, pony standards of beauty don’t apply. I like muscled legs and flat flanks, I see flabby butt cheeks as just being in the way of getting around. And your teats are just the right size for me to grab and squeeze when you won’t get out of bed, they’re perfect,” Jay reassured me, making me feel warm deep inside my chest. I smiled at the compliments and leaned up to kiss the one who had given them to me, though he held my shoulder and kept me from making contact.

“It feels weird with you having regressed like this, how about you hold onto that for when you’re back to normal?” Jay suggested.

“Yeah, I guess it would be creepy for you to kiss a teenager,” I agreed, but that mention of grabbing my teat had brought back a slew of new memories. I remembered Catrix and Abaddon and Veil and all the rest. I remembered our nightly ritual, all the fun times we shared in this room. I was back, all I had to do was let Jay know my mind had returned.

I was on him the instant his hand released my shoulder, obviously not expecting my more innocent teenage self to lie. Jay’s protest became my avenue of attack, slipping my tongue into his mouth before he could close it. Jay froze as he recognized my tongue wrestling technique of constantly slipping around his own to avoid being pinned, though he didn’t participate in the game like he usually did.

“Hey lover, I remembered a few things,” I declared once I felt my lungs start to burn and released my husband’s lips.

“Damnit Lu, I feel like some kind of pedophile now. Not cool,” Jay admonished as he recovered.

“Sorry about the size and age thing, but you have no idea how much I needed that. I thought I was a goner when I started falling apart in that brew Zecora made, just thinking about it still gives me the willies. Did you know my eye fell out before it stopped working? I saw my own face melt off. If that’s not enough stress to warrant some impulsiveness then I don’t know what is,” I argued.

“But that cure stuff was solid green, how could you have seen any of that,” Jay challenged, as though trying to catch me in a lie.

“Those fucking eyes you made me, that’s how. They adapted to the cure well enough to let me see through it before they dissolved. Did I mention that I felt all of it?” I continued.

“You’re stressed out and want sex, I heard you the first time. It still isn’t happening until you grow up,” Jay deadpanned adamantly.

“Full on sex? Like this? No way in Tartarus am I giving that a shot, have you seen how uncoordinated I am?” I laughed, finding the entire thing ridiculous.

“Then what are you asking for?” Jay pressed.

“I want you to hold me and tell me I’m pretty while you brush my mane, these teenage hormones are still messing with my head and I’m constantly on the verge of tears,” I replied as I pushed Jay over and snuggled up against his chest as best I could with my unwieldy legs.

“I find it hard to believe that all of you came back already. How about I ask you a few questions to gauge your memory?” Jay proposed as he ran his fingers along my scalp in a way that made my spine tingle.

“Alright, but don’t forget to call me pretty,” I reminded him.

“The red enforcer, what’s his name?”

“That’s Fang, the crazy one that likes me.”

“Who’s Twilight Sparkle?”

“The eye of the storm, always in the middle of every crisis that seems to pop up in Ponyville. She’s also my student.”

“Good, who did I live with in the Crystal Kingdom?” Jay asked.

“A wendigo named Frost Bite and your daughter Freydis,” I answered.

“Frey and I lived with Wind Chill, not Frost Bite. Wrong sister, but I never told you Frosty’s full name,” Jay corrected, his voice gaining a suspicious edge I didn’t like. I’d need to deflect before he dug too much deeper.

“Two names for the same condition, I was close,” I defended, “Not all of us have a perfect memory, you know.”

“Don’t forget that I raised Frey through her teenage years, I can tell when young ladies are hiding things from me and how to make them talk,” Jay warned.

“Can’t it wait until I’m not emotionally compromised?” I protested, though all that got me was the warm embrace of my husband to transition into a surprisingly uncomfortable experience. Jay pulled away and rolled me onto my belly before I could react, then pinned me with a single finger to the top of my head. No matter how I pulled or twisted, my head refused to rise from where it was pressed into the mattress, “Lemme go!”

“Not until you tell the truth. Did Nightmare kill Frosty?” Jay demanded, though his voice was even and devoid of anger.

“Please,” I whined, already feeling tears running down my face.

“Tell. Me. The. Truth,” Jay growled.

“No, the Nightmare didn’t kill Frosty. I did,” I confessed as I broke into full on sobs.

“Abaddon, have Tzu call back India Five. Let them know the mission was doomed from the start,” Jay ordered, all emotion removed from his voice, “You are going to explain why you killed one of my, incredibly few, best friends’ sisters and why you continued to let me waste my time looking for a mare that’s been dead for over a thousand years.”

“It was an accident, I didn’t mean to do it,” I pleaded, feeling the pressure on my head increase slightly.

“The whole story, now,” Jekyll seethed, his voice telling me that he had become the legate again.

“It was a long time ago, before I ever felt the anger that would create the Nightmare,” I began.


One Thousand and One Years Ago
Everfree Castle


I sighed as I set my first mug of the night down and mentally prepared myself for the eternally dull job of doing Tia’s paperwork. All the notes were already there, I just had to fill in the proper lines and forge my sister’s signature on each page.

All twenty six thousand of them if I had my measurements correct. The stack of forms and decrees was much taller than me so my scale may have been slightly off.

“Hey Lulu,” a friendly voice greeted as I sat down and started on the first of many papers.

“Good evening Frosty, how fare thee tonight?” I replied, happy to have the wendigo to talk to.

“Thine knickers art still tangled, eh? I’m doing alright, heat’s gotten pretty mild so I’m not humping the walls anymore,” Frosty ribbed, making me snort in amusement.

“Thou art always proficient in raising mine mood, I thank thee for thine friendship as always,” I chuckled as Frosty perched on the massive stack of forms to interrupt my efforts.

“You really need to get out more, maybe even drop the old lingo. All jokes aside, you’re starting to worry me. You need friends Lulu,” Frosty pressured.

“We doth have a friend, thou art our friend,” I rebutted as I lifted the weightless creature and retrieved another form.

“One wendigo isn’t enough, I’m still young but I will die eventually. You need to learn how to make real friends or you’ll go mad,” Frosty insisted.

“Perhaps thou art right-you are right-you’re right, this is difficult. Tia can handle the paperwork herself for one day, what should we do?” I asked, reasoning that I deserved at least one day off after working every day for the past five hundred years.

“Woah, who are you and what have you done with my friend?” Frosty demanded jokingly, “I know a few places that are still open and won’t freak at the sight of either of us, let’s go party.”

“What’s a party?” I asked as I allowed the serpentine pony to pull me out of the office.

“You don’t...You’re funny Lulu, acting like you don’t know what a party is,” Frosty laughed. I hadn’t been joking.

“I pray it is not a time consuming activity, the day guards do not know of you and may attack,” I cautioned, ever mindful of Frosty’s status as a forbidden creature. A monster, according to the official listings.

“As long as they use their blunt spears, I might just let them,” Frosty replied in her happy, joking way. Now that I’ve experienced more, I know what she meant. At the time I didn’t have a clue, what guard worth his fur carried a blunt spear?

“Hey guys we’re gonna go party, you coming?” Frosty offered once we reached the gatehouse and the four guards stationed within.

“Sorry Bite, we’re stuck here till morning. Marble’s off duty tonight though, he’s probably at the Hornet already if you want to meet up. Oh, before I forget, one of the day guards spotted you last week, there’s a bounty for your head,” Steam, the sergeant, replied, adding to my worries for Frosty’s safety.

“Frosty, maybe we should wait to perform this party until the guards forget about the bounty or I convince Tia to sanction you,” I suggested nervously.

“Oh no, you aren’t getting out of this that easily,” Frosty responded tersely before coiling around my barrel and dragging me into the air.

“I can fly unassisted you know,” I complained as I was ferried across the canyon that separated the castle from the rest of Everfree City.

“But this way makes it more fun,” Frosty insisted, “Besides, you haven’t been outside since before the town was built, you’d get lost without me.”

“I have to been outside, there exists a courtyard on the west side,” I argued indignantly.

“Where’s the seedy pub in relation to where we are now?” Frosty challenged.

“Uh, that way?” I guessed, pointing in a random direction.

“There’s nothing but houses and crops that way. The bad side of town is the southern edge, that’s where we’re going,” Frosty corrected.

“The bad side of town?” I confirmed, “This does not seem wise.”

“It’s fine, the ponies there may not have much respect for the law but they’re still good ponies. They’ve even been letting me hide out in their homes during the day,” Frosty replied, easing some of my worries.

“If you’re sure,” I permitted.

“Oh relax you nervous nag,” Frosty chided, “We’re nearly there. You see that yellow building with the black door, that’s the Hornet. Best speakeasy in Everfree.”

“A speakeasy? You’re taking me to an illegal bar? Frosty, you know I cannot partake,” I rambled, all of my fears returning and bringing friends.

“Relax, the night guards just about own the pace and it’s empty during the day. We’ll be fine as long as you can lie worth a bit,” Frosty reassured.

“I’ve kept you hidden for the past six months, I’d say I can keep a secret,” I boasted.

“Omission is fine and protects the bar, but we’re gonna be playing Sixes and that takes active lying. If you can’t lie and make it believable, you’ll lose. I’m gonna pass you some bits after I buy us both in, but don’t you lose or you’ll ruin everything. These games go until the players are betting their bodies,” Frosty warned.

“They sell themselves into slavery over a game?” I asked, horrified.

“Only for one act, as dictated by the winner’s choosing. You might end up cleaning somepony’s garage or losing that scarlet ‘V’ you’re so proud of, nopony knows. But you’d lose your regalia before then anyway, so don’t let it come to that,” Frosty cautioned.

“Why would anypony play such a game if the stakes are so high? Also what’s a scarlet ‘V’?” I wondered.

“The high stakes are what make it fun. Don’t worry, the worst you’d get is to dance for the winner,” Frosty soothed.

“Please stop toying with my emotions,” I requested, “First you incite fear, then you assuage it, then you incite more and assuage that too. It is fraying my nerves.”

“You’re just too adorable to not mess with though,” Frosty cooed as she twisted around and tried to mess my mane, getting more than our share of looks when she continued her pointless action while landing gently in front of the clandestine establishment.

“This place looks abandoned,” I noted, getting Frosty to stop picking on my scalp.

“Kinda the point, let’s go inside,” Frosty replied as she grabbed my foreleg and pulled me into the bar.

The only light was a weak candle by the basement stairs, obviously set there to help those who knew find their way without being bright enough to alert anypony outside. Frosty led me around the dusty old boxes that littered the dingy building and down the indicated stairs.

When we reached the bottom Frosty pulled a set of shelves out of the way to reveal a hole in the wall leading into a brightly lit cavern hidden beneath the city, “This is the Hornet, where all manner of freaks and lowlifes reside. The cot up there on that ridge is mine, so I guess I should be welcoming you to my home as well.”

“It is surprisingly...charming,” I lied as I stepped over a patch of moss growing out of the floor and the pony eating it.

“We’ll be playing at the square table over here, just follow my lead,” Frosty instructed.

“I think I can do that,” I agreed apprehensively.

“Wassup buckers, I got a purse fit to bursting and a silver tongue. Wadda ya say we play some odds?” Frosty proposed loudly as she floated over to the table.

“I wore ya as a coat last night, where’d ya get more bits?” a stallion I didn’t know challenged.

“Knicked em from the queen bitch herself,” Frosty bragged, “Call it a perk of being besties with the baby sister.”

Now all eyes in the room focused on me, nearly causing me to crumble under the pressure, “Um, hello.”

“That’s Princess Luna?” the stallion from before confirmed, “Ponyfeathers, slavin’ under the queen has ‘bout broken her.”

“Tia isn’t a queen, she’s a princess like me,” I corrected on reflex.

“Maybe in title, but yer forgotten outside of this here pub. Most of the gits on the surface have started callin’ her queen an’ everythin’, not that she corrects ‘em. We wouldn’t even know ‘bout you if not fer Frosty here,” the stallion explained.

“Oh,” I responded quietly, wondering if I had ever been known beyond the castle walls at all.

“Beh, buck the Day Queen, we’re servants of the night and we like it that way.” the stallion spat loudly, raising a cheer amongst the others.

“Servants of the night?” I repeated.

“Oh yeah, we buck and fight and steal whatever we like while those sunlovin’ gits sleep. We’re the real ponies of Equestria, we know that the best time to be alive is when that moon of yers is high in the sky. Yer the queen fer us, or ya will be once we get ya ta open up. C’mon, I’ll buy ya in fer this game,” the stallion continued, kicking a chair hard enough for it to crash against my chestplate before coming to a stop.

I obediently sat down and scooted up to the table as I regarded the rough talking earth pony and Frosty slid under the table to pop up in the only other empty seat. The earth pony had a coat reminiscent of rust or clay, with no mane to speak of and a long scar that ran over his left eye before curving around his jaw and crossing his neck. The eye the scar passed over was missing, leaving the empty cavity for the world to see. I couldn’t see if the stallion had a tail or what his cutie mark was, if the mark could even have cute in the name with how uncouth this fellow looked.

“Is my eye botherin’ ya? I got a bandage ‘round here somewheres,” the stallion offered.

“No, well yes, it’s actually that odd scar that has my attention,” I confessed as bits were passed around and four cups were set on the table, each with six dice rattling around inside of them.

“Ah, that old tale. Name’s Breacher, by the by, and this scar is a reminder why I won’t trust the law ever again. Used ta be a guard, believe it or not, was until I caught my captain runnin’ slaves fer the dogs down south. Turns out the bastard had set me up as his fall stallion from the start, had evidence and everythin’. I ran, o’couse, till another of my unit caught up to me, friend of mine too. Was a friend anyway, hard to stay friends after yer buddy cuts yer buckin’ wings off at a thousand feet above the ground. I got mine though, ripped his heart out. That peckerhead captain’s too. Scars are from the tree I hit when I crashed, branch opened my throat fore it popped up and took my eye. Crashes are funny like that,” Breacher explained, chilling me with how casually he had confessed to murder.

“That sounds horrible,” I managed after a moment to suppress my urge to vomit.

“Wait a sec, how’d you cut out their hearts?” Frosty asked, clearly more intrigued than I was.

“With this,” Breacher replied before twisting his head behind his back and producing a crude knife.

“I-I think I’m going to be sick,” I warned them as I recognized the material as bone.

“No worries, most folk can’t handle seeing a pegasus wing knife. The rest think me mad fer carryin’ one made outta my own wing.”

“Yep, I’m in that second category,” Frosty agreed as I ducked my head below the edge of the table and vacated my stomach.

“Ey princess, what don’t kill ya makes ya stronger. I made it through that day, ya can make it through my story,” Breacher advised.

“I’m alright, that was just far more than I was expecting,” I replied apologetically.

“No worries, any bits a yer lunch just got added ta the puke and shit already on my legs. I figure it gives my kicks some extra umph, ya know. Leave em with the sickness ta finish the job later, nice an’ slow like,” Breacher replied amicably.

“You are one terrifying stallion, are you aware of that?” I asked.

“Down here ya gotta be one hard motherbucker or have somethin’ else ta keeps the rats offa ya. Yer the queen, ain’t nopony messin’ with you. I gotta be damn scary to keep them louts away and I’m still keeping my knife under my pillow,” Breacher continued, much to my dismay.

“Look, I know the main focus of this game is for chatter like this, but can we chat and play at the same time?” Frosty requested.

“Buck you bitch,” Breacher snapped angrily, though he slid one of the cups her way just the same.

“I was never told the rules,” I pointed out as I mimicked the others in the way they shook their cups before slamming them into the table.

“It’s easy, ya don’t look at yer dice but bet on who’s got the highest and by how much anyway. If I think yer fulla shit, I call ya out and we go head ta head on who has more. Loser gives away their stash and the game continues. Winner gets the pot. Stash is ten bits ya set to the side, pot is the pile in the middle of the table,” Breacher explained.

“Luna by five, betting twenty,” Frosty stated, pushing the small stack of bits into the center and beginning the round.

“I’m next? Frosty by five, betting five,” I guessed, starting to push some bits forward until Breacher stopped me.

“That’s not a legal bet, gotta be more than the guess before you and ya have to bet as much or more than the one before ya too,” Breacher corrected.

“Right, sorry. Frosty by six, betting twenty,” I amended.

“Luna by fifteen, betting twenty,” Breacher called as he added his bits.

The remaining stallion, who hadn’t spoken thus far, rapped his hoof on the table sixteen times before pointing at Breacher and pushing twenty bits up.

“No tongue,” Breacher explained at my confused look.

“Horseapples,” Frosty spat before slapping her cup aside to reveal her dice. The stallion did the same and was revealed to have all sixes, costing Frosty her stash.

“Damn, sixers on the first round. In times like this, ya just change the bettin’ to the next highest,” Breacher noted, prompting me to nod at the reasonable rule.

The game turned out to be quite fun now that I understood the rules and how to play, though I was quite poor at actually playing it. I lost all of my bits to Breacher and the other stallion and was forced to wager pieces of my regalia. I managed to hold them there, winning and losing the pieces constantly for much of the night. I faltered near the end though and lost all of them and the rights to my body to the mute stallion.

I didn’t like the look that stallion gave me when he won that round and all but cheered when Breacher got serious and took him for everything he had over the next two rounds, knocking out Frosty as well and ending the game.

“Ya did good fer a first timer, but I’ve been playing this game in seedy hovels from here ta Manehattan, ta the Badlands, and back. Frosty’s comin’ back ta my cot fer her payment, but I’ll just take something light from ya and give back yer stuff ‘cause I’m nice like that. Don’t ya worry none, I ain’t deflowerin’ no queens. Not my place. Ya could give me a ride ‘round the room, lemme see what it’s like up there,” Breacher hinted as he leaned back in his chair and dropped his hind legs to sit rather similar to the way you do.

“That sounds simple enough,” I replied before standing and walking around the table. I seemed so innocent, just lift the stallion onto my back and prance around, Father had done this with me on his back when I was a filly. I wasn’t expecting them to laugh at me. Sweat ran down my face as all eyes in the room bored into my soul, each drop seeming to ferry away more of my dwindling dignity. It felt like hours, but was more likely just a few minutes before Breacher decided I had done enough and returned my regalia.

“I’ll expect ya back soon Frosty, wouldn’t do for the queen ta go without an escort,” Breacher allowed, permitting his other prize to accompany me back to the castle.

“You alright Lulu?” Frosty asked as we climbed the stairs.

“That last bit was embarrassing, but the game was fun,” I replied, already getting over my defeat and subsequent servitude.

“Do you have any idea what you really did back there? You gained their respect. You lost sure, but that’s expected when you face off against Breacher. The big thing is that you owned up to it with dignity and did what you were told. They all know I’m in heat and lose on purpose, it’d be weird for me to chicken out. We’re the outliers, the ones who get special permissions. I’m expected to have sex when I lose, you were expected to pull some royal bullshit to get out of it. By giving that stallion a ride, you showed that you’re one of them at heart and scored some solid followers,” Frosty explained as we exited the building and took to the skies.

“Really? I didn’t even think of that,” I commented before realizing something very important, it was nearly dawn. We’d have to hurry if we were going to get back before the day shift took over.

At my urging, Frosty hurried along in our effort to race the sun. It became another game, with each of us racing the other as we sped towards my balcony on the eastern tower.

I smiled when we crossed over the gate, turning to look at Frosty as I pulled slightly ahead.

“Oh not this again, I’m not gonna lose to you thi-” Frosty managed before her face twisted in pain and she began to fall.

“Frosty!” I cried as I looped back and caught my friend, finding an arrow lodged between her ribs. By then her eyes had lost their light, leaving them cold and lifeless. Without her natural magic to make her as weightless as the breeze, I struggled to maintain altitude while holding her surprising bulk.

“I got one of the intruders captain,” a guard announced as I descended.

“Excellent work, load another arrow and prepare to fire on my mark,” another guard ordered.

“I’m Princess Luna, stand down!” I screamed through my tears as I held my lost friend to my chest and slowed our fall as best I could.

“Who?” the first guard asked.

“It doesn’t matter, the name’s a lie anyway. Everypony knows Princess Celestia rules Equestria, just shoot this overgrown pegasus,” the captain snapped. I formed a shield a split second too late and cried out as the arrowhead embedded in my side, causing us to fall the few feet remaining between us and the ground.

I kept my shield up as I tried in vain to revive Frosty, dual casting the shield and medical spells despite how much it added to my own pain.

“Frosty-Frosty please, don’t leave me alone. I can’t take being alone anymore,” I sobbed into my friend’s cold coat.

“What is going on here?” a familiar voice demanded, pulling my attention away from my despair and giving me some hope.

“Tia! Tia please, Frosty’s hurt!” I begged, noticing that my shield had been surrounded with spear wielding guards.

“Who in the cosmos is Frosty?” Tia asked cooly as she walked between the parting rows of guards.

“Do you know this freak, your highness?” the captain asked.

“Is that blood? Are you bleeding Luna?” Tia asked now that she was close enough to see.

“Forget about me, Frosty’s dying!” I screamed in anguish. Why couldn’t they see the injured pony in my forelegs.

“She’s already dead, and a wendigo besides. I’m going to ask you again, are you hurt?” Tia repeated more forcefully.

“Yes,” I admitted as I hugged Frosty one more time and set her down, my grief turning to rage.

“Who gave that ord-” The Tyrant managed before I detonated my shield and crushed the guards that had taken my only friend from me.

“Thou hath forgotten thine station and pushed us into obscurity for thine own gain. Our ponies live in the sun and forget the night, forget who guides it, who shapes it. We are thou own sister and thou hath forsaken us, thou scorn our only friend as she dies. We shalt not stand for this any longer, we shall ensure thou art scorned as we have been scorned, forsaken as we have been forsaken, bled as we have bled, cry as we have cried, and fear as we have feared. I shall be your Nightmare, Tyrant. Thou shalt fear the moon!” I declared, taking my first steps to becoming what would later be known as Nightmare Moon.

Celestia didn’t try to stop me as I gathered Frosty’s body and took back to the skies. I only knew one place to go, back to the Hornet. There was no subtlety this time, doors were ripped from their frames as I approached, the shelf that hid the bar was flung across the building and lodged in a wall, and the disgusting moss on the floor burned to ash around me.

“Breacher, thine prize has fallen at the hooves of the Tyrant’s guards while she watched. We offer thou a new one, the tyrant of the day herself!” I roared, making many of the patrons jump in fear as right they should when an unhinged alicorn has them trapped in a confined space.

“I told ya before, I am a servant of the night. May it last forever, my queen,” Breacher replied formally as he bowed.

“May it last forever!” the other ponies chorused as they too bowed before me.

“That will work nicely. For their crimes against us, they shall know our darkness. The night shall last FOREVER!” I cried before feeling my mind fracture and a new personality take over my body, a cruel one that fed on this rage and cackled evilly in the darkness.


Present Day
Ponyville


“And you know the rest,” I concluded.

“Jesus,” Jay commented as he leaned back to process what I had told him, his hand long removed from pushing on my head.

“She wasn’t the cause, just the tipping point. It’s a painful memory for so many reasons,” I added.

“I understand, I’m sorry for pushing you like that,” Jay apologized, “But what are the odds that our best friends from that era were sisters?”

“It is odd, I’ll give you that,” I agreed, finding the coincidence suspicious myself.

“Makes me wonder if anyone else had a hand in it,” Jay growled, reminding me of that name Dopple had used. Fate.

“That...That seems just a little too creepy to think about right now,” I responded shakily, my body mirroring my voice.

“There’s one part of this story I have a problem with, you didn’t kill Frost Bite,” Jay pointed out.

“I did, by sitting through the whole game instead of backing out and wasting even more time on Breacher’s little stunt. We would’ve made it back before the day guards got there if I hadn’t been so stupid. Or flown back by myself, or just teleported home, or…” I countered before trailing off when I felt a gentle hand on my neck.

“I understand, I have plenty of those thoughts myself. You can’t let them eat you alive like this though, people make mistakes and sometimes people die. I used to operate my legion just like all the others until they were almost wiped out, their deaths were what prompted me to develop my fear based strategies. I’m still haunted by those days and how badly I let them down, but I can’t let it define me. I’m not that person anymore and neither are you,” Jay consoled, “Except forgetting that you can tear holes in space and time at will, that shit’s turning into a pattern.”

I winced at the joke, knowing that it was true, “Maybe you could save the criticism for when I’m emotionally stable?”

“You keep saying that, but I’m not seeing that much of a change. Sure, you’re crying more, but that’s about it. Not a whole lot of difference in your personality,” Jay countered.

“Damn,” I swore before getting a flick to my ear, “What?”

“It isn’t proper for young ladies to swear,” Jay chided.

“You let Freydis swear,” I pointed out.

“Only on certain occasions. Besides, she was dealing with watching her mother die, she needed a way to vent that,” Jay countered.

“I’m still an adult in my mind,” I attempted.

“I thought you were pushing the narrative that you were emotionally compromised by being a teenager again,” Jay rebutted.

“Shoot, uh, wait, even when I was this size I was still older than you,” I stumbled.

“No shit? How slowly do you age?” Jay asked.

“Very slowly. If you compared my normal self to a regular pony, I’d be in my early twenties or very late teens. Somewhere between nineteen and twenty-one, I’d guess. Considering I’m three thousand five hundred and eighty-nine years old, it takes a while for me to show any aging,” I explained.

“Wait, that makes about a hundred and eighty years of real time equal one year’s worth of aging, were you going through puberty for nine fucking centuries?” Jay laughed, finding that figure particularly amusing.

“A little less than that, but yes,” I confessed.

“And how old is Chelly?” Jay continued.

“Tia’s not that much older, she only has ten years on me,” I replied.

“So essentially the same age? Damn, that must make the whole inheritance thing that much worse,” Jay commented, unintentionally opening a very old wound.

“It wasn’t that as much as how differently we were treated. Mother publicly favored Tia and scorned me, even forcing Father to do the same. He tried to treat me well, but that only made it worse when we were caught. Tia...Tia never knew pain,” I choked, breaking into sobs again. I didn’t really know why, that was a long time ago and I’d moved on; even now I had a better life than Tia ever did.

“Hey now, it’s alright. You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Jay cooed as he pulled me into a hug and stroked my mane, making sure he got his fingers all the way to my scalp the way I liked.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I felt a powerful need to find Luna’s parents and break them, I’d done far worse to assholes that hadn’t neglected and abused their children for centuries. The fact that Luna could function at all was amazing.

“Don’t take it out on Tia, it wasn’t really her fault,” Luna managed, her voice cracking.

“No, I was actually thinking about asking Discord if he could send me through time so I could fuck up your folks,” I responded seriously.

“He won’t even if he can, time is too fragile to toy with like that,” Luna replied.

“Damn, guess I’ll just have to find that rock he mentioned,” I reasoned, remembering the draconequus’s tale of how he sealed away the previous pair of alicorns.

“Good luck with that, I don’t even remember where I tossed the thing,” Discord commented.

“Checking in on your handiwork?” I asked warningly.

“In part, I may have helped keep little Lulu here stable during her time as a disease. Maybe even helped you two change her appearance? Or maybe I kept her from melting in that dreadful cure? None of them? All of them? Some? Who’s to say really? What’s important is that it’s so entertaining that I just had to see it with my own eyes,” Discord replied, testing my patience.

“If you did help me, then I thank you,” Luna said quietly, “But now that it’s over, please allow me to recover with all due haste.”

“Aww, don’t you want me around anymore?” Discord whined.

“Of course we do, this is just a bad time. Tell you what, we’ll all hit up the nearest pub as soon as Luna is old enough to drink,” I offered diplomatically.

“Cut it out Jay, that’s mean,” Luna whined, obviously still sore about not being able to swear.

“Then go back to sleep, that seems to be when you grow,” I suggested.

“I’m not tired,” Luna grumbled petulantly.

“Sir, I know it isn’t a good time but Celestia has arrived to check on Mistress Luna,” Tzu announced as he stuck his head into the room.

“And like that, I’m out of here,” the empty space where Discord used to be replied.

“Feeling tired yet?” I asked sarcastically, my somewhat jovial mood ruined by my sister-in-law’s existence.

Luna sighed loudly as she got her lanky legs under her and stood, “I guess we have to go see her. This is going to be horrible.”


Twenty Minutes of Stalling, and Intentionally Getting Lost, Later


“Oh. My. Cosmos. You are too cute!” Celestia cried as she lept the distance between her and her miniaturized sister and nearly crushed the smaller alicorn. Instead of the tackle Celestia had intended, she had landed on my outstretched hand and grunted as the air left her lungs.

“What the personality changing fuck Chelly?” I asked the diarch wheezing in my grip.

“I must ask the same Tia, what was that about?” Luna agreed.

“That was my favorite age, I always thought you were so adorable,” Celestia replied, her smile only widening. It made my nonexistent stomach turn.

“Adorable? Adorable?! You obviously remember those years differently, sister. You made fun of me all the time, you called me a freak when my teats grew in so early, you beat me when I tried to talk, you got your friends to hit my flanks and make fun of how flat and hard they were, you said I was ugly and that I’d never…” Luna ranted furiously as he glared at her older, and much larger, sister.

“Lu, I think you’ve made your point,” I interrupted, seeing the tears running down Luna’s face and feeling an odd pang of rage at the sight.

“Luna, I-I’m sorry. I-” Celestia began.

“Chelly, I think you should leave. Come back when I don’t feel more of a need to kill you than usual,” I snapped.

“Wait,” Luna requested quietly as I pushed Celestia away and let her drop to her hooves, “Are you actually sorry or are you just saying that?”

Celestia proved herself a coward yet again as she teleported away without giving a straight answer.

“What a bitch, I might’ve actually hated her less if she’d confirmed that apology,” I spat, still wondering why I was so enraged with the solar diarch.

“Jay, am I making you angry?” Luna asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“I’m not angry at you,” I replied as I tossed a glare at the spot where Celestia had stood.

“That’s not what I asked,” Luna pointed out.

I sighed and dropped against the wall, finding that this put me at eye level with Luna’s teenage height. I took a moment to gather my thoughts before responding, “Yes, I think you are. I don’t know if it’s because of some connection between us or leftover paternal instincts kicking in, but when she made you cry…”

“You were compelled to protect me,” Luna finished, “I think we need to settle down and figure ourselves out for a while, you’re still learning what it means to be in a relationship and this regression has brought up a lot of painful memories for me. Maybe some time away from all the insanity out there will do us some good.”

“You think closing our doors will help?” I confirmed.

“I do, and it’s starting to get cold. Fuck the cold,” Luna reaffirmed, getting another ear flick for swearing.

“You’ve got a point there, I get sluggish in winter. Stupid virus trying to hibernate, I’ve got shit to do damnit,” I griped jokingly.

“At least there are some fun things coming up, I saw a flier for some marathon when I was in town the other day,” Luna noted.

“What happened to closing ourselves off from the world?” I pointed out.

“That can wait. I still remember playing in Whitetail Woods as a filly, it was always beautiful around this time of year,” Luna replied.

“You’re talking about the Running of the Leaves then. You thinking about signing up?” I asked.

“Are you?” Luna countered.

“I do every year, but I just walk it so someone else can win. Not really fair for me to race ponies,” I replied.

“I think it’ll be fun. Um, I didn’t see when it was happening,” Luna confessed.

“Abaddon?” I asked.

“Next week. You should know that it is being merged with another competition this year, one specifically between Misses Applejack and Rainbow Dash,” Abaddon answered.

“Oh that’ll be hilarious to watch,” I commented, “Are they sticking to standard sports or should I have some safety equipment made up?”

“Jeffrey reports that all of the trials are considered standard,” Abaddon replied.

“How much do you want to bet they’re throwing punches before this is over?” I asked.

“Must everything around us be so violent all the time?” Luna lamented, “I have to hope they won’t throw away their friendship over something so petty, I’ll wager the bits I made off of you yesterday that they don’t fight.”

“You’re on,” I replied, sure I would win this one.

“Wanna watch them?” Luna suggested after an awkwardly long pause.

“I do, but the responsible thing to do would be checking in on the latest reports from our spies among the Allied Nations,” I chided.

“But that’s sooo booooring,” Luna whined.

“Yep,” I agreed as I lifted the lanky alicorn and held her under my shoulder as I walked towards the office.

“Damnit,” Luna swore. I felt teeth snap at the hand I extended to flick Luna’s ear and chuckled at her ineffectual resistance, she couldn’t bite in all directions.


Thirty Minutes Later


“I hate this so much,” Luna complained.

“I learned long ago that sometimes the best way to get past something dull is to go through it, just get it done so you can do other things,” I replied calmly.

“Bull. You’re just saying that to justify tying me to this fucking chair,” Luna snapped before quickly adding, “Don’t you fucking dare flick me Jay, I swear on the moon!”

“I’ll untie you when you stop acting like a child and trying to run off,” I shot back.

“Gaaaah! Fuck,” Luna swore as she tried and failed to break free. Luna rested her unbound forelegs on her desk and stared at the floor as she gathered herself, “Let me go.”

“Happily, as soon as you finish that stack,” I allowed.

“Let me go,” Luna repeated, more quietly this time.

“No,” I responded. Luna seemed to break at that, she hung her head and openly cried as she lost hope. I watched as Luna went through the stages of grief over having to read. I ignored her offers of money, sex, and the actual moon in exchange for her freedom. I watched impassively and refused any response until Luna finally picked up the first report and read through it, at which point I allowed myself to crack a smile.

Luna fell asleep halfway through the stack, too exhausted from fighting her restraints both physically and mentally to handle the dull task.

“A little behind schedule, but the end result is the same,” I commented quietly as I picked Luna up and gently carried her to bed. I noticed she was already growing before I even made it out of the room.

Once I had Luna tucked in, and learned that she snored at that age, I established a connection with Abaddon and Tzu to catch up on what my troops were doing and where they needed to be. I remained like that, standing stock still with my hand on the wall and my eyes closed, until I felt a hoof poke me in the chest.

“Feeling more normal?” I asked as I finished the sending assignment orders I was working on.

“Not even close,” Luna griped, though she didn’t sound like her normal self. She sounded like…

“Fucking Nightmare Moon? Really? Poison Joke is fucked up,” I agreed once I opened my eyes and saw Luna’s appearance.

“Drug me if you have to, just make me sleep so I don’t look like this anymore,” Luna requested, almost begging.

“Not a fan?” I joked, stalling for time as I synthesized a general sedative.

“If looking at my fur making me seriously consider suicide fits your definition of ‘not a fan,’ then I suppose so,” Luna snapped.

“Weren’t you in a sort of stasis when you were banished? How long was Nightmare actually in control?” I asked.

“Eight months maybe, it kind of blurs together,” Luna confessed.

“Huh, guess I don’t need this after all,” I commented as I reabsorbed the drugs.

“What? No, put me under!” Luna ordered, looking terrified.

“You’ve said a lot of things I found concerning today, most notably your most recent one about suicide. You’ve come a long way in being comfortable with yourself, but part of that has to include your past. Instead of freaking the fuck out over a slightly different color fur, why don’t you close your eyes and just try to relax,” I instructed as I picked Luna up and set her on her hindquarters, “Also, those eyes are probably going to fall out soonish, so I’d better have a new pair made.”

“Relax in the body of the thing that ruined my life? Sure, I’ll get right on that,” Luna replied sarcastically.

“You seem happy enough to me most days,” I pointed out.

“Don’t go there Jay, the Nightmare was pure evil. We would’ve met sooner if she had never existed, I will not give her credit for how good my life has gotten,” Luna warned.

“Perhaps, or I might’ve killed you. I was a very different person back then, I was angry and bitter towards ponies for a long time, I drove the changelings extinct for killing Sigrid, and I was a professional killer for hire. I don’t think I would’ve seen you as anything other than a contract holder or target, I didn’t even see your sister as anything more than that,” I rebutted.

“You did jobs for Tia? Like what?” Luna asked, eagerly latching onto the new topic.

“Dealing with gangs and pirates mostly, at least when she had an actual job for us to do. Other times she’d cage my entourage with her magic and try to capture me, then I’d kick the shit out of her and go home,” I explained with a shrug.

“Hmmm, I just remembered what Dawn said. If you consider your interactions with Tia through that lens...I think she likes pain. Tia never had so much as a skinned knee when we were young, I think she sees it as something exciting,” Luna theorized.

“That’s disturbing on a whole new level,” I commented, “But I’m the only one I know of that’s actually struck her, aside from when Dopple stabbed her, so there’s that.”

“I think it’s worth a confrontation at least. Think about it, we could settle your feud and live in peace so long as you keep punching my sister whenever she feels the need for it,” Luna proposed.

“Most people take offense when their relatives get hurt,” I pointed out.

“I’m literally wearing the skin of a mass murderer that tried to kill the world, I am as far from ‘most people’ as you can get,” Luna rebutted.

“Fair ‘nuff, but let’s wait until you aren’t wearing the aforementioned skin,” I relented.

“Fair ‘nuff,” Luna agreed before cracking a weak smile, “Say, do I remember you tying me to a chair?”

“Nope, must’ve been a dream. Was it a good one at least?” I lied.

“You lying sack of manure,” Luna teased, though she quickly turned serious as she made connections and realized what had really happened, “But really, don’t do that again. I know how I was acting and how out of it I was, but please don’t manipulate me like that. I-I need to be able to trust you and that hurts me.”

“I’m sorry, it was the best solution I could come up with. I wasn’t comfortable adding any drugs to your system because I couldn’t know how well your body would react, it could’ve put you in a coma or worse,” I reasoned.

“You’re a heartless bastard, you know that?” Luna snapped angrily as she fled from our room, leaving little wet spots on the floor to mark her progress.

“I don’t understand what I did wrong,” I commented to no one, confused as to how I had made Luna cry.

“I don’t know either,” Abaddon responded supportively.

“Well, keep tabs on her and let me know what’s what,” I instructed with a shrug.

“Will do,” Abaddon replied.

After an hour of waiting and wandering the halls aimlessly, I decided to check on Luna myself. Through Abaddon’s many eyes and connection to Jeffrey, I found the alicorn in Ponyville. She seemed to be doing alright and was even laughing at some joke Cheerilee had made, so I stayed put and maintained my silent vigil.

At least I could think and plan without accidentally giving anything away. There were some things that needed to remain private, some orders that had to be given silently, some assassinations and kidnappings that couldn’t be known about, and one target in particular had caught my attention. A certain gryphon general was making waves in the isles for being especially zealous, he’d make a good puppet. General Hans Feder, I know you now. Soon enough, I’ll own you too.

“India Five is available now, let’s give them a mission they can actually accomplish,” I mumbled to myself as I relayed the orders to Tzu. Six enforcers should be overkill for a mission as simple as this, but they’d been out of the game for a long time and I couldn’t risk any mistakes. Take and replace wasn’t the easiest job, kill and replace was far easier, but I had faith in my intelligence corps to get it done quietly.

My attention was drawn back to Ponyville as Luna tried and failed to enter the library.


Perspective Change: Luna


Nope nope nope noooooppppe,” Spike repeated as he swung his mighty weapon around with practiced ease, the broom proving itself more than a match against me.

Ow! Darnit Spike, cut it out,” I snapped as I tried to protect my head with a foreleg and back away at the same time.

“Twilight! Get the Elements! Quick!” Spike called, heedless of my plight or attempts at diplomacy.

“No, it’s me Spike! I’m me! Shoot, what was that code again? Tomatoes and something?” I stammered as I tried in vain to protect myself without causing an even bigger scene.

“Princess?” Spike asked as he paused.

“Yes Spike, it’s me. The Poison Joke cure has me re-aging to where I was and this was, albeit briefly and shamefully, an appearance I once held. I was a teenager a few hours ago,” I replied, relieved that the situation had diffused.

“Oh, how come Jeff didn’t say anything?” Spike continued with a pointed look at the wall.

“I suspect it’s the same reason they do anything, they think it’s funny,” I guessed.

“I would’ve stepped in if it went too far,” Jeffrey interjected defensively.

“It doesn’t matter, it was wrong,” I stated firmly, “You should’ve told Spike that my appearance was temporary and that I was still the same person, just like you did with everypony else in town.”

“Yeah Jeff, that was kinda mean,” Spike agreed.

“I’ll keep that in mind then,” Jeffrey responded snidely as his avatar sunk into the floor, reminding me that Jay had described the leviathan as potentially being the most powerful creature on the planet. I had just scolded a thing that could crush me with the barest trace of effort.

Shaking my head to clear that thought, I returned to my reason for entering the library at all, “Say Spike, do you have any recommendations for long reads?”

“As in books?” Spike confirmed.

“This is a library,” I pointed out.

“Heh, yeah. You’ll be, like, the third or fourth pony to actually rent a book since Twilight and I moved in, sometimes I forget that these books are more than Twilight’s personal stash,” Spike confessed.

“Understandable, considering the mare in question,” I agreed with a smirk.

“Yeah...Oh right, you were looking for some books. Well, the Daring Do series is pretty popular. And Twilight has a copy of ‘The Trials’ hidden under her mattress, though I don’t know why. I guess those would be a good place to start,” Spike offered.

“They’ll do nicely, thank you,” I replied as Spike gathered the books he had mentioned.

“Any reason for picking these up?” Spike asked conversationally as he stacked the tomes to make them easier to carry.

“Jay and I have decided to take some time to figure ourselves out, we’ll be mostly closed off from the outside world until Winter Wrap Up. I imagine that will get boring very quickly, so I’d like something to help me pass the time,” I explained.

“Not too soon, I hope. You wouldn’t want to miss Nightmare Night,” Spike replied.

“Nightmare what?” I asked, shocked.

“Nightmare Night,” Spike repeated, “It’s mostly for foals, but it’s pretty fun. All the children and most of the adults dress up as all kinds of wacky things and do a bunch of fun stuff. There’s always a lot of candy given out and there are usually games, oh and some ponies play pranks on everypony else. But the best part has to be all the free candy.”

“When is this festival?” I wondered, struck dumb by the thought of something so terrible being twisted into a child’s holiday.

“End of October, about four weeks before the harvest festival,” Spike replied.

“Is it on the calendar? Can I see?” I requested.

“Sure, one second,” Spike allowed, walking over to the far wall to retrieve the calendar hanging there. Once it was in my possession I flipped through the months until I found the described holiday, then compared that to the harvest festival. The connection was there, I just couldn’t believe it.

It was over a minute before I found my tongue and figured out how to form words, “That’s my birthday.”

“Really? Cool,” Spike commented, not seeing the same implications that were occupying my thoughts. My eyes flicked between the calendar and my hoof rapidly as I struggled to understand why Tia would do such a thing. Why would she make sure everypony knew my birthday? Why would she make it a beloved holiday? My vision spun shortly before the room tilted and I knew no more.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I hadn’t known about the connection between this world’s Halloween and Luna’s birthday, but it wasn’t too surprising once I thought about it. Surely nothing to faint over. Nevertheless, I sent a squad to retrieve Luna and her books before severing my connection and rubbing my eyes. That was a bad habit I should’ve broken by now, leaving my eyes open while my attention was focused elsewhere. Without a blinking reflex, they dried out rather quickly. It wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable.

Once I was satisfied with the moistness of my eyeballs, I sighed and turned to walk out towards the deck with the intention of meeting Luna there, “Ehem.”

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked the figure that had gotten my attention.

“Exactly as long as you have been ignoring me, about fifteen minutes,” Celestia snapped.

“I wasn’t paying attention, I was too busy watching over your sister and setting up for your war,” I shot back.

“Whatever,” Celestia responded.

“Why are you here anyway? If you’re looking for me to feed your pain fetish, you could’ve sent a letter,” I asked.

“I’m here because your impostor doesn’t complain about doing paperwork and I needed somewhere to hide. Besides, I was under the impression that I was welcome here so long as our alliance held,” Celestia spat.

“Ever the lazy one,” I commented, “Alright, but Luna’s still recovering from the Poison Joke.”

“Aww, is she still that adorable little filly?” Celestia cooed, seeming to melt at the thought.

“I want to tear your fucking eyes out right now so fucking much, no. Luna’s regained her faculties, but she looks like Nightmare,” I corrected.

“She isn’t though, is she?” Celestia asked, a hint of fear in her voice.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I lashed out and sent the diarch crashing into the wall. I was on her before she could hit the floor, driving punch after punch and kick after kick into her rapidly deteriorating body. I finally let Celestia fall when I hit the very edge of what she could survive, sending a silent command to Abaddon to repair the damage I had wrought as I turned away and growled away the last of my rage.

“Ow,” Celestia managed.

“Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve destroyed, everything you’ve cost both of us, and you’re scared Luna’s gone Nightmare again? What the absolute FUCK is wrong with your brain? Do you need me to pull it open and find out? I can do that, it wouldn’t even hurt. No shit, say the word and I’ll fix whatever chemical shit is making you that fucking delusional,” I ranted venomously, spinning around to glare once more at the broken princess.

“I just don’t want to lose her again,” Celestia wept quietly.

Things began to fit into place, pieces of history that never made sense until that moment. Celestia never considered me an enemy, not really, I was the only one who would punish her for her sins.

“Chelly, did you attack me so I’d hurt you?” I asked bluntly.

Celestia was silent for a long time, so long that her body was completely repaired and she was able to sit upright under her own power before her graced me with a response, “Sometimes.”

“When you go to sleep tonight, I want you to know what you’ve done with that answer. I don’t hate you anymore, I pity you,” I declared quietly, “Abaddon can find you a room if you need to sleep that beating off, and Cat’s door is next to mine if you need someone to talk to. Cat’s a demon, but she’s alright.”

“Jekyll...please don’t tell Luna,” Celestia requested as I turned to leave.

“There are hundreds of thousands of things I don’t tell Luna, why should I add another to that list?” I asked.

“She needs me to be strong, she needs something stable in her life,” Celestia insisted.

“Bullshit. She had an abusive mother, what she needs is a caring sister,” I spat before walking out. I hoped Celestia wasn’t playing any games with me, I hoped she was sincere and would take my advice to heart, but I also knew who I was dealing with. The entire thing was more likely to be a ploy, yet another of Celestia’s manipulations.

I had lied, I still hated Celestia with every cell in my body. And with me and my kind, we meant that literally.
> Chapter 29: Means And Ends
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna


I awoke to splitting pain and a world of darkness, along with the feeling of something or someone poking around the top of my head.

“What happened?” I rasped, finding my throat dry and scratchy.

“You passed out. More importantly, your eyes fell out and your skull shattered while you were asleep,” Jay explained.

“My skull broke? Why did my skull break?” I managed as the pain spiked and I grit my teeth.

“Because there’s usually a bioform holding it together, it’s stronger that way and allows us to link,” Jay replied.

“Can you at least dull the pain until you finish up?” I requested, feeling another spike. I briefly wondered how many more of these I could take before my mind shut down.

“One second, here,” Jay allowed before I felt a sting on my neck that was barely noticeable compared to the throbbing pain centered just above it. I felt the sensation in my head fade shortly before it spread to the rest of my body. My mind began to feel fuzzy and thick as the chemicals took root there as well, “All done, you can open your eyes now.”

“Muah?” I mumbled around my uncooperative tongue.

“You’re adorable when you’re drugged up,” Jay chuckled as he rolled me into a more comfortable position and tucked my tongue back into my mouth for me, “You’ve been under for about an hour, so you should only be a little loopy for another two at most. Just try not to say anything weird when Chelly checks on you.”

Tia was here? Fuck Tia, evil bitch always playing with my emotions.

“Luna, you’ve got an angry face,” Jay noted. Duh.

“Bish, Nighmm Nigh,” I explained as best I could.

“I’ll ask her about that, don’t worry. You just focus on not drooling on yourself...actually, I’m just gonna make a little trench here for it,” Jay replied. I was supposed to be mad about something, but I was having a hard time remembering why.

“Bwaaaah,” I wailed in frustration. Why couldn’t I think?

“Oh fine, be a spoilsport,” Jay snapped as he laid a hand on my head. In seconds, my faculties returned and I remembered exactly why I was angry.

“You could’ve done that from the start?” I asked accusingly, finding my body was still uncooperative from the neck down.

“Anesthesia is fun for everyone, it wasn’t anything like that,” Jay responded defensively, placing several memories of both ponies and members of his species acting silly into my mind. Despite myself, I couldn’t help smiling at the amusing scenes.

“Okay that is funny, but there’s a difference when you turn me into a blithering idiot and keep me like that even though you could fix it,” I pointed out.

“There are tens of billions of things I could do to keep you from experiencing the slightest inconvenience by my hand or otherwise, I think you’d find that life incredibly boring. It’s the little things in life that make it worth living, and sometimes that means drooling and ranting about imaginary cats so you can laugh at it later on,” Jay argued.

“It’s the manipulation that’s pissing me off you dolt!” I snapped.

“Everyone else has to deal with the aftereffects of anesthesia. What you’re asking for is special treatment,” Jay clarified, making me reevaluate my point for a second.

“You win, are you happy now?” I demanded.

“Nope, not until we figure out why you’re actually mad and solve that problem,” Jay responded seriously. I felt tendrils slither through my recently repaired skull and the connection establish before all of my thoughts and feelings over the past day came rushing back through my mind in a flash of tangled emotions, “Ah, I get it now.”

I couldn’t find the words to express my anger, grief, or joy at that statement, I could only cry and find some part of him my horn could reach.

“Damnit Luna, now you’ve got blood in your fur,” Jay chastised as he removed his speared arm from the end of my horn.

“Humph,” I grunted as I returned my head to the pillow.

“I’m not your mother or your sister, I’ve even been fighting to change that last one while you were asleep. I know I can be an ass sometimes, but I’m legitimately trying to do the right thing. So I stumble now and again, who doesn’t? Look, I’m doing it again right now. What I’m really trying to say is that I’m sorry for tying you to a chair and then making excuses about it,” Jay apologized sincerely, making my anger start to melt away.

A slow, rhythmic clapping of shod hooves interrupted our moment however, as Tia announced her presence in the doorway I had to crane my neck to see.

“Quite beautiful, I can see now why you like him Luna,” Tia snarked.

“Chelly, we talked about this,” Jay warned, making my eternally headstrong sister flinch.

“We did, but I don’t recall reaching any conclusion on that point,” Tia argued weakly.

“I can quote you, if you like,” Jay threatened.

“Alright, I’ll give your way a try,” Tia sighed before irritably adding, “I liked it better when I didn’t have to listen to your nonsense.”

“I liked it better when I cut out your tongue and left you mute,” Jay shot back, “But here we are, so play nice.”

“I am right here,” I pointed out, irked by the way they were excluding me from their conversation.

“Luna, I...I’m sorry,” Tia began, surprising me even more when she didn’t teleport to some secluded area right after saying that, “I’m sorry for ignoring you, not just now but all of the times. I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me. I’m sorry for pushing you away all those years ago. And I’m truly sorry about your friend, I-I didn’t know how much she meant to you.”

Moon and stars above, Celestia was actually crying.

“I’m sorry I was so horrible to you when we were young. I’m sorry for mocking you and hurting you. I’m sorry for hiding you away when we grew up. I’m so sorry…” Tia continued, her emotions breaking free from whatever vault she had locked them in and pouring forth.

“Jay, I need my legs to work. Methinks this sister of mine needs a hug,” I requested, smiling to let the others know my formal speech was in jest.

“It’s fine, you need your rest. I can come to you,” Tia replied as she stepped forward and placed a gentle hoof on my cheek. I knew her hugs, they were the same as father’s hugs. The both of them would start at the cheek to show their loving smile before wrapping the leg around and pulling the recipient into the proper embrace.

That was not how this hug went.

Tia started screaming in agony the instant her hoof touched my fur, the red spot of blood that had transferred over to her began eating away at her flesh and growing pustules as it spread up her leg. Thick red veins pushed against the inside of my sister’s skin as her fur was pulled in and consumed with the rest. Redlight, I remembered Jay mentioning the virus in his blood; blood that was currently covering my head, neck, and legs. Celestia was dead and it was my fault.

Quick as lightning, a dark blur lanced through Tia’s knee. The only indication of what had happened was the blood on Jay’s outstretched claw as he surveyed the scene and the infected leg dropping to the floor.

From my half paralyzed position, I could still see the severed leg as it continued writing and growing ever more grotesque. Hundreds of small boils now graced the surface of the skin, each connected by thick ropes of flesh that were raised above the skin altogether. It didn’t even look like a leg anymore, the only indication that it had once been attached to my sister was the gilded shoe still attached to the end. It astounded me that all of this had happened before a single drop of blood had escaped Tia’s veins.

Tia was still screaming as Jay wrapped tendrils around her and slapped a wad of biomass onto her open wound, an obvious attempt to stem the bleeding before it could even begin. To my horror, that infected leg wasn’t dead. While Jay was distracted and I was frozen in terror, its flesh bulged and broke as eight chitinous legs burst from the larger boils and lifted the monster. My scream added to Tia’s when it looked at me with its mismatched black eyes, though that seemed to spook the creature and caused it to scurry away from the noise.

It barely made it a full length of its body before teeth emerged from the floor and snapped shut around the leg monster, Abaddon finishing the job Jay had started.

“Luna, teleport, floor, now!” Jay shouted as he lifted Tia to throw her onto the spot I was currently occupying. Now that my panic had broken, I did as instructed and vacated the bed just as I was about to be crushed under my sister’s bulk.

I miscalculated and ended up falling a couple feet to rest on the floor, knocking the wind out of me. Abaddon was kind enough to roll me over and help me stand when I struggled to see what was happening to Tia despite my lack of oxygen.

Tia’s scream ended abruptly when Jay threw a sharp punch into her jaw, knocking her out and allowing him to bend our bed around her without having to deal with her panicked thrashing at the same time. Once Tia was safely cocooned and the threat was eliminated, Jay slumped against the wall and sighed in exasperation.

“One fucking day, that’s all I want,” he breathed.

“What the fuck just happened?” I demanded, feeling required to ask even though I thought I knew.

“I’m a fucking moron, that’s what happened,” Jay snapped as he punched himself in the side of the head, “I’ve gotten so damn lax, never bothering to think about the virus in my blood. You’ve gotten my blood on you before, I should’ve noticed it then. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!”

“Noticed what?” I pressed, looking at my own hooves in fear now that I had seen what the blood had done to Tia.

“It’s not possible, it shouldn’t be fucking possible. How in the hell are you immune to something that eats everything?” Jay demanded. He had to know I wouldn’t have any answers, but he was staring at me like I had been keeping this from him intentionally.

“I-I don’t know!” I pleaded, my fear just as intense as his confusion and anger.

“Fuck fuck fuck, I should’ve seen this months ago. What is wrong with me?” Jay continued, hitting himself one more time before letting his arm drop to the floor.

“But...how?” I wondered, catching some of Jay’s confusion. By my understanding of the virus the made up Jay’s body and the other variant contained within his blood, there was no logical way I should’ve survived stabbing his hand when I was still the Nightmare. My time on the moon maybe? Some outside force? Discord? Fate? The Elements of Harmony?

“Discord was sealed, the Elements wouldn’t do something like that, Redlight ignores radiation…” Jay listed as he reached the same conclusions, “Fate... Our only other lead is something that calls itself Fate. Dopple said it wanted a show, maybe it protected you to facilitate that show.”

I paused as I considered that hypothesis and found no way to refute or support it without more information, “I don’t have anything else to go on either, but this Fate is beginning to really scare me.”

“Me too,” Jay confessed.


Perspective Change: India Eighteen Dash Four
Unknown Location


They shipped us. In a box. Please someone start trouble so I could wet my claws and release my rage at this indignity. My place was in the conference room gathering information or slitting the throat of a target while in the guise of my last victim, not in a moldy fucking box with eleven smelly minotaurs to keep me agitated. Were it not for my orders and control genes I would have slaughtered these plebeians and reaped my vengeance long ago.

A jolt unseated several of my companions as the box abruptly halted. What little chatter there was died when the front of the box dropped and a grim faced sergeant started shouting at us, “Alright you whelps, atten-SHUN! You are now in the permanent command center for the Allied Strategic Command, AEC or Stratcom for short, it’s location has been deemed a state secret by each of the Allied Nations and they have made arrangements to keep it that way. You will have no communication with the outside world while you are here, you will have no vacation time, you will have no rights. You are the property of Stratcom while inside this structure and you are not permitted to leave.”

This would be problematic, a sealed bunker made it hard to move without being noticed.

“You have all been kept in the dark for this reason and this reason alone: to prevent enemy spies from infiltrating our military command and sowing chaos. Many of you may recall the incident where not one but two of those monsters attacked our diplomats, our mission here is to keep that from happening again. Am I understood?”

“YES SIR!” the boxload of soldiers around me shouted in unison.

“Good. I know the post is a rough one, but it’ll keep you off the front line and get easier as time goes by. Once we’re sure we can trust each other not to eat us in our sleep, I’d wager life will get a lot better,” the sergeant continued.

“Do they really do that? How do we tell?” one trooper asked nervously.

“Each one of you will be exposed to a new substance that is toxic to the monsters, it won’t hurt you at all but they can’t stand it. That’s how we’ll know,” the sergeant replied. Shit, they were growing brains for a change.

“How do you know we won’t be hurt by this substance too?” I baited, mimicking the apprehension of the previous soldier.

“I myself have already gone through the test, I can say with certainty that it is no more painful than dipping your hand in a bowl of water,” the sergeant reassured, telling me everything I needed to know. He had already been cleared, therefore I needed his face.

With no more questions to be asked, the sergeant ordered us into formation and marched us down a disgusting hallway layered in years worth of lichen and mold. This place wasn’t new, that much was obvious, but it was solid. Beyond the growths of plantlife bleeding from cracks in the walls, I could see the concrete and iron construction was still in good condition. The oil lamps affixed to chains hanging from the domed ceiling burned cleanly as though they had been replaced recently, a sign that this hidden bunker was already in the very early stages of a renovation.

I was perplexed by this place, it didn’t match anything I had ever heard of before. It felt more like...no, it couldn’t be. It felt more like a bunker from Earth than anything on this world.

A steel door loomed before our formation, a pair of occupied shooting slits to either side of it. That was definitely not a design I had ever encountered on Equis before.

“Careful private, a suspicious type might think you’re looking for weaknesses,” the sergeant warned, having appeared at my side while I was distracted.

“No Sir, just slightly confused. I’ve never seen this type of structure before, but it has to be fairly old. Where did it come from?” I asked, hoping to deflect the suspicion and sate my curiosity at the same time.

“So you’re an expert in bunkers now? I think you and me are gonna have a little chat in my office, complete with plenty of that monster melting goop. You might get to rejoin your fireteam after I’m convinced you aren’t one of them,” the sergeant growled as he grabbed the front of my uniform and hauled me out of formation. I made sure to keep my weight from giving me away too quickly as I was dragged off for interrogation.

In his eagerness to incite fear into the other soldiers the sergeant made a lethal error, he brought me into his office and slammed the door before he gathered a sample of the cure. I was on him the second the latch caught, cutting and slashing with wild abandon as I killed the minotaur. That had been my intent at least.

“India Twenty-Three Dash Two, damn it’s good to see another one of us,” the sergeant greeted as his destroyed face and neck repaired themselves instantly.

“You got the sergeant? Guess we really are growing predictable,” I chuckled as I rolled off my disguised brother.

“I came in with the first group as an aid, snatched up this meathead to dodge the test. I’m guessing you had the same idea?” Two asked.

“How’d you guess?” I countered sarcastically.

“Well there’s the question about it hurting, that was an easy giveaway. And then ogling the bunker because it’s obviously Earth tech,” Two listed, counting off my transgressions on his fingers.

“Ha ha, I was just scoping out a way to sneak in. What about you? Have you figured out where we are?” I asked.

“Badlands would be my guess, all I could see the one time I managed to sneak outside was sand as far as the horizon. I’m actually more curious about how we can get the location to the others,” Two replied, giving me an idea.

“Do you have any of the cure?” I asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“A spray gun and three spare jars in my desk, just in case any monsters try to get me,” Two answered with a smirk.

“Good, you’re going to use it to kill me,” I instructed.

“Glancing hits until the room is filthy with your droppings?” Two guessed, figuring out my plan.

“Exactly,” I agreed.

“I’ll probably get a promotion for killing you,” Two joked as he got up and retrieved the weapon. It looked like a child’s toy, using the pressure from the shooter’s finger to spray its contents a maximum of three feet or so. The only discernible difference was that this one was metal instead of plastic.

“That’s their trump card? A squirt gun?” I deadpanned.

“It’s a prototype, they’re working on a crank based system to allow for sustained fire and longer range,” Two replied, seeming equally nonplussed by the thing I now refused to call a weapon.

“Do they know we can shoot spikes much farther than a liquid can travel?” I wondered aloud, barely resisting the urge to facepalm.

“These are the equivalent of a shotgun or other close combat weapon, they use treated bullets and arrows at range,” Two explained, correcting a mistake that could’ve proven disastrous if it had made it into my report.

“Anything else I need to know before I fake my death and escape?” I asked, just to be sure.

“Might as well take my full report with you, save some time,” Two countered as he offered me his unoccupied hand. Taking it with my own, I assimilated his memories and added the pertinent bits to my collection. Once I had them, all that was left to do was mock the other enforcer for the indignities he’d been forced to endure.

“A gryphon, really?” I ribbed.

“Pre-existing relationship,” Two countered expertly.

“You know she’s cheating on you,” I pressed.

“You know I don’t care,” Two shot back, just a little too loudly.

“I think you do,” I teased.

“I’ve been here for months and I have the memories of years with that hen, there’s a little bleedover. I’m fine,” Two insisted.

“When we take this bunker, and you know we will, I’ll do my best to keep her alive for you,” I promised, turning somber as I remembered the dozens of lovers I’d lost over the years. It was hard being an infiltrator, taking the memories of loving husbands or wives, boyfriends or girlfriends of all species, and having to maintain their marriages and relationships. I alone had killed hundreds of close friends and partners, I knew the pain well.

“I wouldn’t be able to do that anyway, just...just don’t let me watch,” Two requested, stumbling on his words.

“Lord Jekyll is changing, we’re all changing. A growing number of our brothers and sisters have taken up full time relationships, I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to as well,” I pressed, genuinely wanting to see my brother’s mind at ease.

“She is the enemy, and a zealot besides, she must die for our cause. To do otherwise would be to enslave her as nothing more than a plaything, you know how our people feel about that,” Two warned.

“You know her better than I, she will perish with the rest unless you can convince her to defect,” I conceded, admitting defeat in this. So close, I was so close to seeing one wrong prevented in this war. Such was the life of an India.

“Are you ready?” Two asked, his mood just as ruined as my own.

“Yes, I’d like to put this place behind me as soon as possible,” I agreed, creating raw pustules on my extremities to make the mess that much worse.

“Good luck,” Two bid as he depressed the trigger of his cure sprayer.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Ponyville


“Chelly. Chelly. Chelly. Chelly. Chelly. Chelly. Celestia. Celestia. Hey. Hey. Wake up. Wake up,” I repeated as I poked and shook the comatose diarch. She was still in shock, but it was fading rapidly as what little blood she had lost was returned. Luna had been worried until I’d checked on her sister’s vitals and reported the all clear, and had since gone to get lunch in town. I was alone with Celestia, and I wanted her out of bed so I could judge her physical state more accurately.

“Uhhhh, what time is it?” Celestia groaned after several minutes of repetitive calling and prodding.

“Oh good, I really wasn’t looking forward to resorting to the methods I’ve had to use to get Luna out of bed,” I sighed.

“Huh? Oh, it’s you,” Celestia droned as her eyes focused, her contempt thick enough to cut and spread over a slice of bread.

“Yeah, me. It’s mid afternoon and about time you got up so I can see how fucked up you are,” I instructed.

“What are you talking about?” Celestia challenged, “I feel fine, now go away!”

“You’re the one in my room bitch. If you think you’re so damn healthy, then punch me in the face,” I ordered irritably. Celestia didn’t hesitate to flail her stump in an attempt to hit me, only for her eyes to shoot open when they beheld the damage, “You’re damn lucky that’s all you lost, you’d be dead or worse if I’d hesitated.”

“How? What? I’m doomed,” Celestia wailed as the memory came back, “How could this possibly be explained to the court? How will I ever walk again?”

“Simmer down stumpy, prosthetic legs have come a long way and I’ll just have your double get buried in construction materials or something,” I placated.

“Nopony would buy that rubbish, especially not Crimson or his masters,” Celestia argued.

“What about an assassin? Would they believe that?” I offered, an idea springing to mind.

“They might, actually. But not from you, their opinion of you is beginning to turn,” Celestia allowed.

“Abaddon-”

“I’ve already summoned her,” Abaddon interrupted.

“Excellent,” I replied with a sinister edge to my voice.

It didn’t take long for Gilda to appear at my door, “You called for me elder?”

“Yes, I think I’ve found a way to solve your honor issue and restore your status in the isles,” I began, getting the young gryphon’s attention.

“What do you need me to do?” Gilda asked eagerly, though she maintained her professionalism.

“You’re going to make an attempt on Celestia’s life,” I replied, getting a confused look from the gryphon as she looked past me at the disabled alicorn on my bed for a moment before she blankly drew a long knife, “Not this one, her double. We need to make the copy match the real one so the real Celestia can show her face again.”

“Oh, that makes more sense. Alright, I’m game,” Gilda responded as she stowed her blade.

“Method and execution are up to you, so long as you take the right leg and get spotted by someone,” I allowed.

“Time to dust off my sword,” Gilda replied, giving me her answer.

“I don’t remember a sword,” I noted.

“You really didn’t look through my stuff, did you? It was in my sock drawer,” Gilda teased.

“You don’t wear socks. Why would you have a sock drawer if you didn’t wear any socks?” I countered.

“The same reason I have an underwear drawer, to keep out anyone looking for my kit,” Gilda laughed as she walked out, a noticeable spring in her step now that she had a way home.

“You have weird friends,” Celestia commented, still stunned at the casual way Gilda had prepared to kill her.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way, normal people are boring,” I replied.

“I’m going to need therapy after this,” Celestia continued, talking more to herself at this point.

“I happen to have a therapist on call,” I offered, thanking my biology for allowing me to keep from smiling.

“That’s convenient,” Celestia droned absently, clearly unaware of what she had gotten herself into now. I decided then that I liked Celestia when she was crippled like this, it made her so much easier to get my revenge on.

Celestia didn’t seem to notice me walking to the side door and knocking, nor did she react to my calls for Catrix to put on some damn clothes and come inside. Celestia remained dead to the world as Catrix sauntered into the room and sat down next to the diarch, only looking up at the demon when she scratched the alicorn’s ears.

“Hey there, I’m Cat,” Catrix greeted, having seen the troubled princess and approached without any prompting from me.

“Hello,” Celestia responded numbly before turning back to the wall she had been staring at. I changed my mind, this wasn’t fun. This was depressing as hell.

“Hey, look at me. I’m here, let me help you through this,” Catrix instructed, guiding Celestia’s head as it turned to regard the demon once more.

“I lost my leg, it’s gone,” Celestia explained emotionlessly. She hadn’t been stunned before, she was drained. Her mind was failing to cope with her injury and she was shutting down in response.

“I see that, can you tell me what happened?” Catrix prompted gently.

“I touched Luna, I didn’t know she was dangerous. Jekyll cut off my leg before it could kill me, why did he do that?” Celestia asked, regaining some of her old self for a moment.

“Legs are the worst things to lose, I’ve lost mine a few times too. Jay saved you because he doesn’t want you to die. He needs your help, even if he won’t admit it,” Catrix continued, seeming to restore even more recognition in Celestia’s eyes.

“I need his too, for more than I’ve said,” Celestia confessed, giving me the impression that she had forgotten I was there.

“Like what?” Cat asked, shooting me a quick glance that told me to stay quiet.

“He’s the only one that can defeat him, the one running those things, the one pushing me around. He can kill anything, he has to kill Fate,” Celestia revealed. That name again, interesting.

“What else?” Catrix pressed in the guise of keeping Celestia talking.

“He hurts me, he’s the only one that hurts me,” Celestia mumbled, her eyes drooping. Catrix looked my way in panic, obviously thinking Celestia was dying of shock, before pulling up her dress and shoving Celestia’s head clear up to her chest. I facepalmed at the instinctive reaction but remained silent. Celestia did not, “You have nice skin.”

“Thank you,” Catrix replied, seeming both confused and amused by the odd compliment.

“I have good skin too, even if I don’t deserve it,” Celestia continued, somehow managing to stay depressed even while pressed into a succubus’s bosom.

“Why would you say that?” Catrix pressed, stroking the diarch’s mane comfortingly in her efforts to calm her.

“Because I’m a bad pony,” Celestia replied, ending her declaration with a hiccup as she started sobbing.

“I don’t-” Catrix began before going silent as Celestia started talking again.

“I drove my-hic-only sister insane and then persecuted the first new thing I saw. Hic-I attacked and attacked and attacked to feed my own wan-hic-wants, I’m a bad pony because I keep ge-hehe-tiing them all killed. I deserve this,” Celestia continued before pausing to lift her stump, “I deserve all of it and more.”

I was right then, Celestia had been using me to punish herself all along. The weight of her mistakes dragging her down and making her need the pain to feel like she had atoned for some of it.

“That sounds like a vicious cycle, you’ve been causing harm to atone for past harm. Maybe you could ask for help next time? Luna’s back and Jay’s your political equal at least, you’d be among peers,” Catrix suggested gently.

“Maybe,” Celestia whimpered pathetically. This was disgusting. In all of our fights and all of our screaming matches, Celestia had never shed a single tear. But now, with her mind overtaxed by recent trauma, she spills her guts and cries a river?

This was no way for me to see my enemy, I might actually sympathize with her if I stuck around much longer. I couldn’t leave through either door without breaking Catrix’s illusion that they were alone, so I had Abaddon ferry me through the floor and out into the hallway before stalking away.

I hadn’t been this angry in a long time. I had passed the point of violence and entered into the quietly burning hate that had killed whole species. Last time, most of the greater demons had suffered my wrath. Before them, the changelings.

“Sir, India Five has reported their success,” Tzu announced as soon as I wandered onto the deck, “The package had been delivered to...him.”

Fucking fantastic, that one had my prize now. I kept Fang around because we were close once and he still maintained a level of usefulness, as much as a pack of rabid wolves could be useful. But that one, that enforcer was just psychotic.

A fate worse than death or Tartarus awaited those few that ended in that dark place, at least in Tartarus you got the luxury of dying eventually. Master, as he insisted on being called by his charges, was the warden of my private prison, where he kept those poor souls alive for as long as they had the slightest chance of giving me an advantage. Or until he got tired of hearing their screams, whichever came later. He hasn’t gotten tired of any of them yet.

“Priority message, the ribbon is not to be cut. That package is mine, not his. He can keep it under the tree, but he’ll have to wait like everyone else,” I replied quickly, speaking in code in case there were wayward ears nearby.

“Would you like it brought home sir?” Tzu asked, surprised by my insistence.

“No, I’ll go to him. It’s been a while since I got to see Fillydelphia anyway,” I responded, using this as an excuse to put more distance between me and that pathetic creature inside my leviathan.

“Mistress Luna will not be pleased,” Tzu warned as I spread my wings and prepared to launch.

“Tell her I had to handle something delicate involving...I don’t know, make something up,” I instructed, waiting for Tzu’s nod that he had a plan before flinging myself into the air and gaining purchase on an updraft.

It would be a long flight to the port city and the repurposed hive beneath it.


Perspective Change: India Twenty-Three Dash Two
Unknown Location, Badlands


“How on Equis did you survive this mess?” the general asked in bewilderment as he gawked at the remains covering my office. He was a old gryphon, weighted down with too many deserts and in desperate need of a preening. His bleach white feathers were so unruly that they covered his name tag and left me with only his rank to refer to him by.

“Strict adherence to my training, SIR,” I replied, locked in the position of attention and the image of a perfect sergeant.

“Training? You must’ve taken those close combat lessons more seriously than I did, I can’t imagine doing half as much damage to one of them by myself; much less killing the thing and surviving to tell the tale,” the general continued, showering me with unearned but useful praise.

“Yes sir, it is my belief that all training should be considered a life or death experience and repeated regularly to maintain skill level, SIR,” I boasted, not even having to lie.

“Well, the results seem to testify to that. Heh, I wish we had at least one officer like you, maybe then I’d be able to sleep at night,” the general hinted.

“Thank you SIR,” I responded.

“Cornell, weren’t you pestering me yesterday about some leftenant that had gone AWOL rather than accept this post?” the general asked, speaking to a smaller gryphon that appeared to live in the commander’s shadow if his appearance was anything to go by. The aid, Cornell, the general had named him, looked more like a rat than a bird, with much of his feathers falling out due to poor nourishment and beady eyes from going too long without sunlight. I had made a mistake: Cornell wasn’t an aid, he was a serf. An orphan cub enslaved by the military in exchange for table scraps and a roof.

“Yes General Harnd sir, they said we’d need to rek-rekwe-” the serf attempted before the general’s hand knocked him away.

“Requisition, the word is requisition. Useless fool. Anyway, as I was saying, we do have a position available, if you’re interested,” Harnd tempted.

“What would my duties be sir? I’m not eager to trust some nosebleed with my troops,” I asked, dropping some of the formalities now that the general had made his proposal. Playing the part of the dedicated leader didn’t hurt either.

“Formally, I’m in command of all soldiers posted at Stratcom. But like every good commander, I leave all of that nonsense to my captains and leftenants. You would be working directly under me, functionally in command of all the defensive troops,” Harnd explained. This couldn’t have turned out any better, now I’d own the security and could weaken it at my leisure.

“I would be honored to accept, SIR” I agreed, snapping a sharp salute.

“Excellent, I’ll have Cornell make the arrangements to have your belongings moved to your new quarters. Any requests? Is there a little minotaur you’re sweet on?” Harnd asked.

“Gryphon actually, one of Advisor Sand’s aids,” I allowed, knowing that it would put my re...my disguise’s relationship in jeopardy if I left her out.

“Good for you, a proud gryphon a heart even if you are a dirty cow on the outside. I knew there was a reason I liked you,” Harnd replied jovially before walking out without so much as a word of goodbye.

“Man, fuck that guy,” I commented to myself once I was sure no one was in earshot.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Fillydelphia


This was my favorite city. It couldn’t hold a candle to Ponyville, that was my town, but no one cared that I was different. Even during the height of Celestia’s crusade, not one of these ponies would notice my existence. I basked in the absolute lack of attention as I made my way towards the hidden entrance to the undercity, the network of maintenance tunnels and sewers that would take me to the old hive and the slightly less old prison there.

No one so much as looked in my direction when I ducked into an alley, nor when I pulled open a sewer grate and dropped into it. No amount of noise made a difference to these organic robots. I sighed in contentment and disabled my sense of smell as I waded casually through the literal river of shit that dissuaded anyone from venturing too close to the hive, it was free lunch as far as I cared.

“Such a good place for a lair,” I commented, equally happy to be back and dreading the necessity to talk to the enforcer in charge. Master fought with me on every detail, which is what actually led to his semi imprisonment here as well. His own little kingdom to rule however he wanted as long as he delivered the information I wanted. Fucking asshole.

“Glad you like it,” a voice hissed in the darkness.

“You gone rogue? Nevermind, I don’t care. Where’s the warden?” I asked the unnecessarily creepy sentry.

“With the fresh meat, getting him all trussed up for your visit. How long has it been lord? Ten years? A hundred? Do you even remember how to flay them properly?” the sentry mocked.

“Five, thanks, and I never forget anything. You’d do well to remember whose subconscious you come from,” I warned as I walked past and shoulder checked the sentry into the wall, “Don’t fuck with me.”

“Never, but one has to make sure. These catacombes aren’t for the weak or the sane, hehehehe,” the sentry chuckled behind me as he faded back into the darkness.

“Ah, Lord Jekyll, we weren’t expecting you for another hour,” another guard greeted, a twisted smile on his face as he ushered a line of empty eyed captives into their holes. These poor sods weren’t really alive anymore, just soulless husks that weren’t allowed to die. Most of them didn’t even have skin, just thin wires wrapped around their organs and bones to hold them together.

“Keep up the good work you sick bastard,” I replied as I passed, getting a toothy grin in return. Now that I had entered the proper hive, I could see the layers of torture implements Master had collected and built over the years. No two were remotely similar, each one was unique in the way it delivered pain and each one was spotless. A stark contrast to the grimy appearance of the rest of the facility and its occupants.

Another thing that caught my eye was just how many of these devices there were. Each of the concentric rings of walkways that layered the walls of the cavernous hive had implements along the walls, and a platform had been constructed in the center when they ran out of space. Since then, the platform had been expanded to cover the entire floor of the hive and even more layers had been added. Platform sat atop platform atop platform, each spanning the width and breadth of the cavern. There were twelve layers of this torment in addition to the walkways and whatever else was hidden in the outer rooms.

At the very top of the platform tower of pain stood a large cage, as though it was an observation point for some guiding hand. Knowing the warden, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was his playground, where he would take the newest prisoners to force them through things no living being should have to endure. And he would make them watch as the others were treated to their fates as well, just so they would have the barest hint of what their future held. That cage is where I would find my general.

The only way to get around was to fly, and so I skipped as much despair as possible and flew directly to the cage. I had been correct. General Feder, the rising star in the gryphon army, was chained to the side of the cage by massive hooks that had been forced through the meat of his wings, a precursor to their inevitable removal.

“General Feder, you were remarkably easy to capture,” I greeted as I stared the defiant gryphon in the eyes from outside the cage.

“He won’t talk, he isn’t broken yet,” a raspy voice informed me, the voice of the warden.

“Romeo Seventy-Eight Dash One,” I replied in greeting, using the enforcer’s real name as a show of dominance.

“Oh pshaw, I’m not in the mood. I’d rather be cutting into my newest toy than fighting you o’ lordly one,” the warden wheezed. There was nothing wrong with his voice, he just liked it that way.

“I played way too much Silent Hill,” I commented under my breath.

“Breaking the rules already? You should know reading my guards just ruins the fun,” the warden rasped. I had no idea what he was talking about.

“I was referring to the wires and cages, they’re new,” I corrected.

“Ah, then you’ll enjoy the surprise I’ve cooked up for this little tart,” the warden laughed. It was a laugh so cold it sent the prisoners shivering and cowering in their pens, a cruel, barking thing.

“Not until I’ve gotten a look at him,” I ordered, making the enforcer grumble his dissatisfaction, “Feder, this will go a lot easier if you tell me what your people are planning and where. Trust me, you’ll talk eventually. It’s better to get it out now and save yourself the pain.”

“Buck you monster, I will never betray the country I love or the gryphons I swore to protect,” Feder spat.

“You’re literally talking about nine hours, that’s the longest it’s taken to break a new prisoner in the last hundred and fifty years,” I warned. I was exaggerating, but in that it had never taken that long.

“I like your face, and you seem to like it too. That’s why I’ve made you a special bit of protective gear to keep these bumbling idiots from damaging it on accident,” Master breathed, letting the air escape through his broken teeth in a way that hissed threats.

Without warning, Feder’s chains went slack and the gryphon dropped to the floor of the cage. I heard bones break as he landed on one of his wings, but not a single cry of pain. I was impressed by the general’s strength, but knew it wouldn’t last.

“Feder, Hans, let me help you. Just give me the information I want and I’ll let you go,” I promised.

“Do it boy, give him what he wants,” Master encouraged.

“Go to Tartarus, I’ll never betray them,” Feder repeated adamantly.

“I tried my way, let’s see this new thing you’ve made,” I allowed, getting an ugly, crooked smile from the warden.

“Put it on him,” Master growled, prompting two guards to emerge from some hidden compartment and seize Feder. The gryphon howled his contempt as he struggled to break out of their iron grips, only getting louder and more desperate as they slammed him on a table and strapped him down.

Once their subject had been secured, a third guard emerged with a rusted iron box and presented it to the first two. One of them removed a blackened metal cube from within the box and slowly approached Feder, making sure the gryphon watched his progress. This was more mental than physical, and it was about to get very physical if those spikes on the outside were what I thought they were.

“GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!” Feder screamed, showing that even he was starting to crack.

“Happily, as soon as you tell us what you know,” I replied.

“NEVER!” Feder spat as the box looking helmet was forced onto his head. I heard his beak crack when the box forcibly occupied the space where his beak was supposed to be. Feder couldn’t help groaning in pain as the dark steel trapped him in the claustrophobic helmet.

“I’m proud of this one Lord, it reduces mobility and movement range without sacrificing the subject’s eyesight. Well, it doesn’t remove it entirely anyway,” Master bragged.

“How so?” I asked, more for Feder’s benefit than any actual curiosity.

“There’s a door on the front, it can be opened for feeding and will allow the subject to see,” Master claritied.

“Side hinge?” I guessed.

“On both sides, can’t have them getting comfortable now can we?” Master laughed.

The devious helmet was now completely enveloping Feder’s head, but a raised hand from me kept the guards from driving the spikes dotting the outside into the former general’s skull and neck.

“What is the meaning of this? You come in here all supportive and then stop me right before the best part?” Master demanded, turning angry.

“I need that helmet removable, I need the world to see his face and hear his words,” I stated firmly.

“You might be worse than me, I can respect that desire,” Master conceded with a wave at the guards. At his command, the spikes destined for Feder’s skull were removed from the device. That didn’t spare the gryphon much however, as the ones ringing his neck were quickly pounded into place by his torturers. At my glance, Master gave ma a shrug and a, “Those ones come back out easily enough.”

Feder allowed himself a long keening wail as he was released from his bonds and pushed onto the floor, his confinement now affixed to his body. Now it was my turn to step in. Walking right through the bars of the cage and up to the gryphon, I laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and pulled one of the pins to allow him to see.

“Hey buddy, are you ready to talk now?” I asked gently, as though talking to a friend.

“Eat shit and die,” Feder managed, impressive considering the limited room he had to move his jaw.

“I’m going to be honest with you, we already know everything. All of your aids and advisors are dead, we ate them and their memories. I don’t care if you tell me everything you know, I already know it all. This isn’t actually for the battle plans, it’s for you. I’m going to break you, kill off every last hint of defiance or pride, and then I’m going to use you to break the spirit of every gryphon at their landing zone. I’m going to turn you into one of those wretches down there, and soon you’ll forget ever being anything more than flesh and pain,” I informed the once proud gryphon, telling him the truth for the first time.

“I’ll die before I let that happen,” Feder responded seriously.

“They didn’t tell you? You aren’t permitted to die. Some of those dregs below us have been here for over a century. You will be the thing that breaks your nation’s army, I can promise you that, and then I will allow you to die,” I promised darkly before picking Feder up by his helmet and slamming him against the bars of the cage, his body flailing limply as it followed his head. Taking two of the chains hanging idly nearby, I hooked them onto the helmet to keep Feder just off the ground as I worked.

With any hope of escape dashed by the heavy box on his head and no way to fight back, all that was left was to instill the hopelessness that had consumed the souls of those below. I started with his fingers, taking them apart one piece at a time with surgical precision. First the skin was peeled back and removed, then the tendon, then the pad, and finally the bone and ligament. Each joint was a separate endeavor, each bone delineating where my focus and efforts were concentrated. Razor edged claws had no place here, Feder’s flesh was to be torn. There was no pattern to what I would remove next, patterns gave a measure of comfort. There was no way of knowing what I would be working on at any given moment, I might take one finger off completely or switch to another after a knuckle. I might switch to another finger or the other hand. I might stop and switch before the one I was taking apart was finished.

“There we go, now you don’t need to worry about getting those hinges open,” I cooed as though I had done the gryphon a service.

Feder didn’t reply, there were too many bones and scraps of his flesh in the boxy helmet for him to speak without accidentally getting them in his mouth.

“Not hungry? You’ll change your mind about that soon enough, you’ll be thrilled to have the privilege of getting fresh meat,” I predicted, making the general take a bloody gulp. All these wounds were going to add up soon, the bloody stumps of his hands and the holes in his neck would have him passing out if I wasn’t careful.

Sliding tendrils into the holes, I restructured the flesh around the spikes to act more like that around a cosmetic piercing. Soon only bloodless cavities remained, though I left them tight enough to be uncomfortable.

“How you feeling wretch?” I baited, testing my victim.

“My name...is Hans Feder, I am a general in the Isles Parliamentary Army and I will be addressed as such,” Feder groaned, surprising me.

“That’s too bad, giving in makes it easier,” I sighed as I flipped him over to disassemble his wings the same way as I had done to his hands. That made him scream.

“Leave his genitals alone, we have a new policy for those,” Master advised from the sidelines.

“Having his balls in a vice doesn’t fit my purposes,” I countered, silencing the warden. But that did have the unintended effect of getting Feder talking.

“Please, I have children. I want to see them again one last time...please...master,” Feder begged, showing the first signs of breaking. Pleas of mercy and family were common but in conjunction with his submissive tone and the title he had used, it showed the true state of his mind,

“I thought you’d say that, so I had your wife and kids gathered too. I’m a heartless bastard, but everyone should get to say goodbye,” I allowed soberly as I stepped back. At my signal, four dirty gryphons were roughly shoved into the cage, half male and half female. They were scared but unharmed, and Feder’s eyes lit up as he recognized his wife as the first to pick herself up.

“Hans? Oh feathers, what did they do to you?” the largest of the new arrivals asked fearfully as she sprinted over to her husband and wrapped her arms around him, “Your wings! Oh no, please gods, not your wings!”

The female sobbed openly as Feder tried his best to calm her, saying that it didn’t matter as long as they were safe. The younger gryphons sat frozen at the sight of their father, locked in expressions of terror and disgust.

“Please, just let him go. You can take me in his stead,” Feder’s wife pleaded, “I’m pregnant, you’ll get two of us. Just...please...let him go.”

“You’re pregnant?” Feder asked in shock, clearly hearing this for the first time.

“I found out a couple days ago, I was waiting for the right time to tell you,” the wife confessed through her tears.

“Then you have to leave this place, for our children. They need you more than they need me, especially the newest addition to our family,” Feder insisted, regaining some of his mental control. Time to take that away again.

Without warning, I threw the female to the ground and brought my foot down on her belly. Feder screamed his anguish and rage as I ground her dying form into the floor, his keening only getting louder when I impaled each of his children on a tendril and brought them into my grip to be crushed into bone fragments and viscera. I made sure to be in his line of sight for all of it. Once they were dead, I reached down and pulled the lifeless head off his wife’s corpse.

“Please, no more,” Feder begged. Heedless of his pleas, I forced his mouth open and pressed his wife’s severed head into the helmet. I held him there for several minutes, plenty of time to develop serious mental issues. No one should be forced to kiss their partner like that.

“Alright, you got your goodbye. Did you enjoy your last request?” I asked coldly as I pulled the severed head away.

“I sure as fuck didn’t, this one seemed deader than me,” the severed head complained, making Feder start.

Cruel laughter echoed through the cavern as the bloody piles that had once been Feder’s children got up and made faces at the prisoner before walking back out of the cage. Feder looked more disturbed by the second, a sign he wouldn’t last much longer. He definitely wouldn’t once the head in my grasp revealed its true purpose.

“Can I go now? I’m almost late for my group’s feeding time,” the headless body behind me requested.

“Yes, get going,” Master snapped, his eyes glued to my work and my artful use of his preparations.

“You monster,” Feder whispered, his strength leaving him.

“I get that a lot, and it isn’t as if I can’t understand why. I know what I’m doing here, but I also know that life is something to be fostered. Not destroyed like your people intend to do, but shaped and occasionally pushed in the right direction. I’m trying to repel an invasion without ending a single life, isn’t that something worth a little sacrifice?” I pressed. I knew how hypocritical I sounded, but it was just another part of the game.

“We’ll never back down, we’ll kill you and all your pitiful spawn,” Feder insisted, though his heart wasn’t in it anymore. He was fading, all he had left was the chance that his people would win and rescue him eventually.

“I’ve seen your weapons, your cure guns, and I am far from impressed. I actually tested one on myself and do you know what I discovered? It would take well over a dozen hits to even slow me down, how do you intend to do that with three shots a minute?” I demanded, tilting the helmet so I could stare the gryphon down.

“We’re building better ones, you’ll-” Feder attempted.

“In Gryphondale, I know. Your production facility is scheduled to burn down tomorrow,” I interjected, making the gryphon wince. I grinned, sure all it would take was one last push, “Does that surprise you? That I would know your little secret? You have no idea the amount of information flowing through my networks of spies. Before you ever caught my eye, before the thought crossed my mind to have you abducted, I had six hundred pages worth of reports on your bowel movements. How are your soldiers supposed to fight an enemy that knows each and every one of their names and where they live? We’re in your command structure, your offices, your home towns, and your beds. We. Are. Everywhere. We cannot be killed, we cannot be fought, and your existence as a species is weighed only against our mercy.”

That did it, Feder fell limp and sobbed openly as his last hope was trampled. A proud gryphon leader, a respected military commander, reduced to a shell of himself after a single session. This world wasn’t cruel, its people didn’t have that level of malice. But I remembered one that was, the stories of old places run by the most evil of people and recounted by those few survivors or the remains of those who never got the chance.

“Warden, he’s yours now. You know my intent for him, make it so,” I ordered.

“Consider it done, Lord. Are you certain you hate this? You are quite skilled,” the warden replied.

“It’s a necessary evil, nothing more,” I answered.

“Perhaps for you, we call it life down here,” the enforcer countered.

“And then you wonder why I hate you,” I sighed, dropping the severed head and walking back out of the cavern.

I told myself that this had been necessary, that I had needed to set the limits and scale of what Feder would endure, but it was a losing battle. This entire facility was based on the idea that one life couldn’t be worth more than an army, that the sight of a broken leader would shatter their morale and make them easier to rout, that I could spare their lives by ruining just one.

“To save a million,” I repeated again and again as I stalked away. One hundred and twenty times I said those words. Once for every vacant eyed wretch that had once been a pillar of their community. Once for every broken body that would never hold its children again. Once for every sundered soul that had once burned with the drive to make a better world for their people. Once for every stone in the road of my damnation. I paused, then added one more for Hans Feder. Prisoner One-Two-One.

My wings felt heavy and slow as I flew back to my impossibly safe home, I would be warm and surrounded by friends and family while those unlucky few languished in the dank cold of the underground. Guilt was what flooded my mind and darkened my mood, guilt for using them as I did and sacrificing them and their families for my purposes. I didn’t hate them, I didn’t really hate torturing them, it was myself that I hated.

I couldn’t fly like this, I was too distracted to maintain either course or altitude. I landed in a forest grove and dropped to my knees, sending a prayer to any gods listening that Feder was strong enough to outlast the war. I prayed that I would have the chance to send him home, give him the hero’s return he deserved. I prayed...for the impossible. Feder would wither and break just like all who had come before, and I had to let that happen. My hands were tied, my course set by those in power and all but unchangeable.

That last thought added me some small measure of comfort, I was simply reacting to the stimuli of the brewing war. While hardly blameless myself, I had others to push my guilt onto. They would feel Hans Feder’s revenge before I was finished, my debt to him would be paid in full. And I would either kill him or set him free at that time, whichever was more merciful.

I had a plan, a feasible plan, and that was all I needed to set my mind at ease. I didn’t understand why this one got under my skin, but that was a question for later. I simply needed to get home before Celestia caused too much trouble.

With lighter, though still sluggish, wings, I set back to the skies and flew the rest of the way to Abaddon without fanfare. My mind was still trying to justify my actions to itself, but it was far too late to do anything other than commit to this plan.

Abaddon and the others seemed to sense my dark mood and didn’t approach me as I passed. It wasn’t until I walked into Luna’s and my room that anyone reacted to my presence.

Luna jumped as the door opened, her legs flailing in an attempt to conceal whatever item she had been holding, “Hey Jay, how was your day?”

“Damn awful, yours?” I replied as I dropped onto the bed next to Luna. I could see the signs of her embarrassment, but didn’t feel like I deserved the amusement.

“Somewhat dull. Tia has refused to part company with Cat and all but moved in next door, Abaddon and Tzu have refocused on the city defense project, and I’m left with naught to do but read,” Luna sighed, her blush starting to recede. It was still past her neck and into her chest, but it was beginning to creep backwards at least.

“Fun,” I commented with exactly as much enthusiasm as Luna had shown, “So what’cha readin’?”

“Nothing of import. What’s been eating at you?” Luna asked, cutting through my efforts to not talk about my day with a deflection of her own.

I sighed and sat down next to Luna’s hooves as I prepared myself for what was about to come, “You know how I work behind the scenes to make the wars I’m involved in easier?”

“Your terror strategy? It would be difficult for me to miss, even if I didn’t know about your excessive number of spies,” Luna replied, though not harshly.

“Well... one of the things that strategy calls for is the destruction of an idol, the complete ruination of their best symbol of martial prowess. That’s what I spent today doing,” I explained.

“Did you know the person?” Luna asked.

“As much as any of my enemies,” I responded, not understanding the question.

“Then why does it upset you? Monuments rise and fall, they’re easy to replace. If it makes you feel better, you could always put it back up when the war is over,” Luna pointed out, revealing her misconception and the root of my confusion.

“Luna...organic symbol of martial prowess,” I clarified, getting furrowed eyebrows for a moment before realization hit her and her eyes widened in surprise.

“You didn’t,” Luna accused.

“I had to set the tone, the sadistic bastard that runs my prison will handle it from here. I hate having to do that and I hate myself even more for doing it, but it works and lives are spared. It’s almost impossible to justify, but letting hundreds of thousands die actually is impossible to justify,” I confirmed, averting my gaze.

“Why?” Luna asked neutrally.

“I don’t understand the question. I just told you why I had to do it,” I responded.

“Why are you telling me this? Are you so depressed that you don’t think yourself worthy of being around me? Are you trying to push me away?” Luna demanded, her look becoming a sharp glare.

“I don’t-” I attempted, though Luna apparently wasn’t done.

“Because it’s not going to be that easy mister, you promised me companionship all those months ago and I have every intention of holding you to it. Don’t you realize how one sided our relationship is? I hardly contribute anything, yet you assume I’ll turn tail the moment I have the opportunity to support you. I say nay, I will not be the type of mare that walks out when she is needed most. Come hither,” Luna admonished sternly, beconning me towards her chest with a hoof. I could see the barely contained tears in her eyes as I relented and crept closer.

Once I was within reach, Luna pulled me the rest of the way into her embrace and simply held me by my neck and shoulder. I had to help her with the position, lest she be pulled to my position instead. But that didn’t matter, I found my mind at ease anyway.

“I wasn’t trying to push you away, I just needed to vent,” I confessed quietly after a minute or so.

“Shhhh, I know. Just relax and let me help, we can figure the rest out later,” Luna cooed, “What puts you at ease? We could do that tomorrow, take your mind off that dreadfulness.”

“I don’t know anymore, I’ve spent so long working towards different goals that I’ve learned to make my fun while doing those things,” I admitted, “Spending time with you is nice, as long as you’re there then I don’t care what we do.”

“If Discord heard that, I’d expect a full wheel of cheese to appear in your mouth,” Luna teased.

“I was being honest. Things happen around you, you make friends and get me to be nicer around everyone. Your growing confidence inspires me to be a better person and open up to others. Without you I’d still be wearing the skin of that that lonely gryphon, always watching the edge of the forest for threats I knew weren’t there,” I praised.

“And without Fate’s intervention, I would’ve died and you’d be there anyway,” Luna added sourly.

“That got me thinking actually. If we’re right and your immunity isn’t natural, that means Fate is on the level of a god. He can’t be from this universe, at the least,” I noted.

“Does that widen our suspect list or narrow it?” Luna asked.

“It went from impossibly large to literally infinite,” I replied.

“Shit,” Luna sighed, “Oh well, that’s a problem for another day. Tonight we’re going to cuddle and tomorrow we’ll spend the day doing nothing.”

“I think I’ll like that, thank you,” I responded gratefully as I laid the both of us down and returned Luna’s hug, using her body as an anchor against the tide of possible problems running through my head. Luna didn’t complain when I gripped a little too tight and felt a trickle of blood run between my fingers, she didn’t react at all despite the pain she no doubt felt.

“Do you go through every report your enforcers bring in? All those stacks of paper? I imagine that must create a lot of stress,” Luna guessed as she stroked the tendrils that sat in place of my hair.

“That’s a tenth of the real number of reports, just the easy ones. The rest require a lot of nuance and prior knowledge about that specific mission,” I revealed.

“I’m sure, why don’t you just let Tzu handle it?” Luna asked gently.

“He does, as much as he can anyway. But he can’t go through them all without dedicating all of his time and mass to processing data, so I take the rest. I need to review his decisions and critique them anyway, so it doesn’t reduce it that much,” I explained, finding that I was afraid to let go of the mare in my arms. It felt as though Luna would evaporate as soon as my grip slackened at all, like a handful of sand.

“Is it like that all the time?” Luna continued.

“No, it’s that damned war that’s been stirring everything up. So much to do and so much to learn about so many enemies, it’s too much. I could do it before, but things are more complicated now,” I replied.

“What changed? Why is it more difficult now? You fought wars before and made them sound like simple affairs,” Luna asked.

“I didn’t tell you, I didn’t tell anyone, but the Bravos have been making more enforcers. Not just loss recuperation, they’re building up my forces. We’re just over a million strong now, with twenty-five thousand India squads sending reports every damn day. I can’t keep up,” I confessed, feeling like I had failed at my only job.

“Well obviously,” Luna laughed, “That’s an impossible task no matter what you are, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I shouldn’t be selfish either, what did you want to do tomorrow?” I shrugged, finding that being on the receiving end of emotional support didn’t sit right with me.

“I was planning on waiting for you to go do something and tag along, anything to get out of here,” Luna replied, making a face in the direction of Catrix’s door.

“Family problems?” I guessed.

“She cries every hour or so, it’s passed the point of concern and entered the realm of being annoying,” Luna confirmed, “We can work on your ability to open up later, it’s not important now.”

So she had noticed, that was fine. Two could play at that game, “But it wasn’t annoying enough to keep you from reading? That must’ve been some book.”

“It’s not something I’d be caught dead with, but after my initial revulsion it did become rather fascinating. Spike clearly didn’t know what he was loaning me, only that Twilight had a copy hidden in her room,” Luna replied with an embarrassed chuckle, “It’s absolute trash in print; no plot development or meaningful characters, just short transitions between sex scenes. I assume you’ve heard of ‘Trials’?”

“Right. That. Would you believe me if I told you you’d be hard pressed to find a mare that didn’t own a copy? It’s become a weird counterculture in recent years,” I responded, agreeing with Luna’s opinions on the tome.

“It’s so strange, the mare wouldn’t want anything to do with the stallion if he wasn’t a noble. I’d almost call it rape at some points. Why would anyone enjoy this?” Luna continued, falling deeper into her confusion.

“Because most mares don’t have the power you do, they can fantasize about a powerful male sweeping in and dominating them because they feel like it would make them more than they are now,” I replied.

“I take issue with that, I’d like to think most mares want someone who would treat them right,” Luna argued.

“Remember Tuesday of last week? What did you say to me?” I demanded, a victorious smile crossing my features.

“I-That was different!” Luna protested.

“Was it?” I asked simply.

“Yes! We are in a healthy, if completely lopsided and atypical, relationship, neither of us are calling on the other for crazy sex fantasies. We’re married, for stars sake,” Luna argued.

“And yet…” I began with no intention of finishing my sentence.

“And yet establishing power roles can be fun, and I may have said some embarrassing things at the time,” Luna conceded, “I guess I can understand the fantasy even though I don’t feel the intended empathy towards the character.”

“Why did I do that?” a loud voice cried from next door, heavy with emotion. One could almost hear the tears from where I was lying.

“Right on schedule,” Luna sighed.

“Yeah, that’s going to get old fast. Let’s go to hell so we don’t have to hear it,” I suggested as I cut open a portal to Tartarus and rolled us through.

“Your impulsiveness is surprisingly appreciated this time,” Luna commented as she picked herself up.

“I’m not impulsive, I just don’t let on that I’m thinking,” I countered as I rose to my full height as well.

“Ah, dropping by for another visit already? I hope you find the palace to your liking your majesties,” one of the maids, Timid, greeted.

“Have the sheets been washed? We may be staying in our chambers for tonight, if not the rest of the week,” Luna asked.

“Washed? Those rags have been burned and replaced with quality materials from only the finest craftsdemons, we’ve made every effort to ensure you both get the best sleep possible. In fact, I should let the kitchens know you’ve arrived so they can start preparing your breakfast,” Timid replied happily before bounding off, a noticeable spring in her step.

“I think she likes you,” I pointed out.

“Much better than being feared, I’m glad they’re happy. But shouldn’t she have said ‘kitchen’? Singular?” Luna queried.

“There are eight, all of which will be contributing to our meals,” I replied, “Hope you’re hungry.”

“Oh dear, will they be offended if I can’t eat it all?” Luna asked worriedly.

“Not as long as you tell them at the start and sample all of them before digging into your favorites, that way you’ll just fuel their rivalries,” I informed her as I pushed open the heavy doors separating our bedchambers from the rest of the royal apartment.

“Competition does breed progress,” Luna allowed. I noticed a pitch black armor case with three red slashes running diagonally across the face sitting upright against the wall, but ignored it for the moment.

“You should know that these guys have been perfecting their cooking since before recorded history, the hardest part is going to be keeping yourself from eating too much and getting sick,” I cautioned.

“I’ll be careful,” Luna promised. If her queasy look was anything to go by, she was remembering her introduction to hayburgers and the resulting mess.

I could only smile and guess at the chaos that would greet us in the morning as I helped Luna into bed and crawled in after her, only then noticing the note pinned to the side of the armor case. I retrieved the note with a tendril and read it over while Luna got comfortable and settled in against my side.




Your Highness,

A million apologies for taking so long to finish your order, but it has taken me many attempts to make something that fit your tastes and style. On a positive note, I have constructed no less than thirty other suits of varying protection levels and weights should they fit your purposes better in different occasions. They are contained in “the room.”

It pains me to hold my tongue, but I cannot be certain no untoward cretins might happen across this missive; as such, you’ll find another note inside the case detailing all of the features of your new armor and how they work in tandem. As always, I am but a call away should you have any questions or desire an alteration.


Your humble servant,
Jragden





I consumed the letter immediately and made a mental note to have a talk with Jragden about even mentioning that room. Belial’s war room, long forgotten by even the cleaning staff, was hardly known by any even during his rule, even less so now. It contained a single map etched into a massive table, a map magically linked to the surface. By opening a portal on the map, one could unleash the hordes of Tartarus anywhere in the world. It was how he accomplished the apocalyptic events most called the Awakenings.

“What was that?” Luna asked.

“Danny letting me know that my armor was ready and that his fuckups would work for other stuff if I wanted,” I replied.

“You should try it on tomorrow, maybe even wear it to breakfast,” Luna suggested.

“Looking for your Prince Ironclad, are you?” I teased, referencing the infamous book Luna had been reading.

Luna was silent for a nearly a minute before a hoof slid across my chest and started drawing circles on my chitin. Luna’s breathy voice appeared at my ear, her embarrassment and arousal clear as day, “Maybe I’ve already found him. Maybe you should put that armor on right now and make me your Moonstone.”

I felt one of Luna’s hind legs wrap around my legs and her body press hotly against my own. Her mouth, now freed from its duty to speak, was laying sloppy kisses down my neck as Luna made her desires known.

“Safe word is ‘sea cucumber’,” I relented as I pulled myself out of Luna’s full body embrace and approached the armor case. She pouted at the separation, but I saw her smile as I flowed through the small hole in the side of the case.

It felt shameful to defile my new armor so soon, but indulging Luna would give me a good opportunity to judge the platemail and decide on whether or not I liked it. Luna’s opinion changed drastically the instant I opened the latch on the inside of the case and stepped into the low light.

“Nope, nevermind, I’d like to keep from ending up like Tia if I can help it,” Luna declared as she scooted a few inches further away. I looked down at myself and understood her point right away, every edge was bladed and every surface that was usually smooth sported either ornate engravings or some form of integrated melee weapon.

“Yeah, I second that,” I agreed before flowing back out of the armor and hanging it up.

“Much better, now perhaps we should just get some rest,” Luna suggested. I raised my eyebrows at that, suspecting a ruse.

I was right. Luna waited until I was lying down and beginning to doubt my hypothesis before she pulled herself on top of me and sat up, letting the blanket hang from her shoulders as she stared into my eyes.

“I don’t need an Ironclad, I have a Jay, and my Jay knows exactly what I need right now,” Luna purred. I knew what she wanted, she knew I wouldn’t deny her. With no other distractions, I made peace with my fate: I was in for a long night.
> Chapter 30: Bleeding Hearts
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you positive I can eat this?” Luna asked as she stared down the lifeless imp before her.

“Yes,” I answered simply as I tore a leg off the demon and took a bite. Perfectly grilled, as usual.

“Did it suffer?” Luna continued.

“Probably, yeah. But these demons are exclusively kept as livestock, they don’t regenerate and they reproduce very quickly to recoup their losses. They’re killed and eaten by everything else down here, that’s their only purpose,” I replied.

“Now I just feel bad for it, that’s not a life anybody should live,” Luna commented sadly.

“It was also cooked alive, gives the meat an added tenderness,” I added.

“I’ve lost my appetite, I can’t eat something that lived such a horrible life and died like that,” Luna declared as she pushed herself away from the banquet table.

“Sit down and take a bite,” I ordered firmly, “All your protest will do is get the cooks beaten for doing their best to prepare this for us. This imp was born to die screaming, just like the rest of its kind, there’s nothing that would have changed that. Besides, I think you’ll find the flavor enjoyable.”

“But it was alive, it had feelings,” Luna protested.

“Grass is alive, trees and flowers are alive. The people I’ve killed and eaten were alive. Did you know plants can feel pain? I know, it was news to me too. All life is beholden to the dead, there’s no way around that. You might as well let them serve a purpose after they’re gone,” I countered. Luna opened her mouth to retort, but found no words. After a moment of searching for something to say, she relented and sat back down.

It was even longer before Luna levitated a single shaky scrap of meat up to her mouth and took the smallest bite I’d ever seen, barely a scraping against her dull teeth, “It’s dis-”

I didn’t let Luna finish that lie, instead I clapped my hand over her mouth and pushed the scrap inside. Luna’s eyes burned as her senses betrayed her, at war with her morals, “Everyone likes grilled imp.”

Luna’s internal conflict was clear on her face as she chewed and swallowed even after I removed my hand. All she could do was stare at the rest of the entree and work her jaw while she tried to find a reason to fight me on this.

“I only have to sample them right? Can I try the next one now?” Luna requested, siding with her pony sentiments.

“This is the easy one, next up are skampcakes. They are more of an acquired taste, given the fact that they’re boiled in the blood of the same scamp that the meat comes from. Kinda coppery, ya know?” I replied, prompting Luna to sigh and gather a decent sized helping.

“I hate that this actually tastes good, it isn’t natural for a pony to eat meat,” Luna complained.

“Welcome to Tartarus,” I replied.

The rest of our meal became gradually more amicable as Luna acclimated to the menu, even going as far as sampling other dishes without complaining about how they looked or what they were made from.

“We will never speak of this again,” Luna stated firmly as the plates were finally taken away.

“You ate more than me, I think you just caused a celebration outside,” I pointed out.

“Never again,” Luna repeated more forcefully.

“You’re not listening to me. You’re Tartarus famous now, that’s not something that can be ignored,” I insisted.

“It can and it will, nopony ever comes here so it won’t be known outside of this dreadful place,” Luna expertly countered.

“That’s a good point, provided you trust Cat not to make a big deal out of it,” I teased.

“Shit,” Luna swore.

“I don’t understand why you’re so ashamed, it’s just part of being in hell. When in Rome, as the saying goes,” I offered.

“I don’t see what Roam has to do with anything, but I will concede that one must eat to survive and there aren’t any plants here. Though I would’ve rather gone home to eat and intend to do that in the future,” Luna replied with an extra formality that hinted towards her upset mood.

“Just take the win damnit,” I snapped teasingly.

“What win? All I can see is the loss of even more of what makes me a pony,” Luna grumbled.

“A fair trade for some respect, and that’s if you let it determine who you are,” I reasoned.

“How could I not? I actually enjoyed the taste of meat, what other pony can say that?” Luna demanded.

“Lucky, Silver, and all of their daughters lived here for six months, they never complained,” I replied easily.

“They-they did?” Luna confirmed, her haughty attitude fizzling out.

“No choice, they lost everything during a massive storm that blew in from the ocean. I didn’t know where else to put them while I got the bits together to help them start over,” I explained.

“The same storm Lucky told me about? Where you saved the townsponies?” Luna asked.

“Not how I would describe it, a lot of pegasi died trying to push that stormfront back. We rescued as many as we could,” I corrected.

“Wait, you said you only housed Lucky and her family here. What about the others?” Luna continued.

“What about them? I had them dropped off outside Baltimare,” I replied with a shrug, “Lucky and Silver were my friends, I didn’t even know the rest.”

“Not your problem then? I suppose they should just be happy you bothered to save them at all,” Luna spat.

“What the hell Lu, why are you so fucking pissy? You were mad at me yesterday, then we made up and everything was fine, but now you’re mad again. What the fuck is actually going on?” I demanded.

“I don’t know, alright? I don’t KNOW! I’ve got a headache and Tia is being weird and you...you actually needed me. Moon and stars, I’m acting like Tia. You need me right now and I’m finding reasons to be angry…” Luna trailed off, her voice getting quieter with every word.

“You’re not-” I attempted before Luna closed the short distance between us and pulled me into a gentle hug, taking care not to impale herself on any of my armor’s accessories. I soon felt her tears starting to run down my neck.

“I’m so sorry,” Luna apologized, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Are you on drugs?” I asked seriously as I pushed luna away and held her by her shoulders, “The last time you had mood swings like this, you were on drugs.”

“You’ve been right next to me all day,” Luna replied, seeming confused by my reaction.

“Are you pregnant? Do you feel strange at all?” I continued as I sent tendrils over and through Luna to find some reason for her erratic behavior.

“I have a headache, but I feel fine otherwise. And you told me yourself that you can’t get me pregnant, are you accusing me of being unfaithful? No, nevermind, you’re just being you,” Luna sighed as she submitted to the check-up.

“Hello there, I haven’t seen one of you in a while. Where did you go for lunch yesterday?” I asked, having found the root of Luna’s instability and eaten it alive.

“A market stall in the town square, why?” Luna asked, sounding worried.

“I’ve made an adjustment to your bioforms so they’ll keep this from happening again,” I began.

“They’ll keep me from getting angry?” Luna interjected.

“No, you had brain parasites. Well, I should say unsanctioned brain parasites. Cereverum, the brain worm. Very rare, very inconvenient,” I explained.

“That is absolutely horrifying,” Luna commented, though her face and voice had dropped to total neutrality.

“Don’t worry; it’s not like a botfly where it eats your brain, it just causes more electrical stimulation to the part it’s attached to so it can feed on those impulses. Great for quietly disabling heads of state, not so great for keeping me from killing whoever did this. Did you get a good look at the vendor?” I continued.

“Moon above...No, I barely spared him a glance. Why wasn’t I warned of these creatures growing up?” Luna wondered.

“They didn’t exist, they’re a failed weapon against me,” I replied, turning my attention towards the portal and the tripod responsible for these monsters that lay on the other end.

“Really Tia, weaponized worms?” Luna sighed as she pressed a hoof to her temple.

“Better than her explosive rocks, those were even more annoying to clean up,” I countered.

“My skin is still crawling from this, I’m going into my cocoon and I’m not coming out until I’m sure there’s nothing else inside of me,” Luna declared as she turned to flee to the relative comfort of a particularly invasive medical scan.

“Wait up, I have business with your sister,” I replied as I followed my worm free wife through the portal, pausing only to collect my hammer from where it rested against the table and secure it to the back of my armor.

“Are you going to need that?” Luna asked as she looked back.

“I’ll be speaking to her ruler-to-ruler, it pays to look the part,” I answered honestly, having no intention of using the warhammer but knowing its size had an effect on others.

Tendrils sprang into action the second my armored boot touched Abaddon’s flesh, retrieving my lighter grear and adjusting the straps to add my sword and throwing knives to my arsenal. Just as I was about to take another step and exit the swarm of tendrils, a harness I hadn’t seen before rose from the floor and was attached to my chest.

“What’s this one?” I asked as I poked at the looped leather, finding my question answered by a quartet of spike pistols that found their way into those same loops. These new ones were bulkier, having a distended mass hanging below what one would call the barrel.

“These pistols won’t consume your mass until they have no choice, a feature added in response to your self destructive actions during the fight against Discord,” Abaddon replied, ignoring my actual question and answering my newer one.

“Fancy, that’ll open them up for use by other species as well. Give Luna one, just in case,” I instructed.

“I don’t want one, they’re disgusting and I have magic,” Luna rebutted as I tested the fit of the newest additions to my gear.

I looked and felt like a force to be reckoned with. My armor was the perfect mix of regality and functionality, it spoke of both leadership and national pride as well as the drive to do things by force if necessary.

“Suit yourself, but know that there will be one waiting for you if you change your mind,” I allowed, turning back towards Luna for a moment and sending a tendril to make the desired changes to our bed.

“Fine, as long as you don’t expect me to carry it around like you do,” Luna relented.

“Cool, I’m gonna go threaten to cut off another of your sister’s legs,” I replied with a gesture towards the door before turning to stroll through it. Even with all of the gear strapped to my body, I was not prepared for what I saw on the other side.

Celestia was curled up in a fetal position on Catrix’s lap, quietly sleeping as the demon stroked her mane and seemed to deliberate on cutting the alicorn’s throat. Catrix’s claws were extended from her left hand and held up to her face as she examined the edge and occasionally glanced down at the diarch, a look of pure hatred in her eyes.

“Not yet,” I cautioned as I closed the door behind me.

“She keeps crying and confessing her crimes, but she doesn’t even know how much pain she’s caused my kind. Did I ever tell you about the time I met with her? It was before your time, obviously. She set me on fire, almost sent me back to that vile piece of skamp shit right after I escaped,” Catrix mused, her voice distant as she recalled the memory.

“I’m sure you weren’t the first either, but I need her alive,” I repeated.

“I wouldn’t kill her, just leave a pretty little scar on the side of her face. Right here, below the left eye, where everyone can see. Or three, or five, or a million little cuts, one for every succubus she put to the sword and sent back to Tartarus,” Catrix hissed.

“She’ll use that to justify her actions, it’s better to explain it to her and let her own mind torture her for you,” I advised.

“You’re getting soft Jay, the king I swore my service to would’ve cut the names of her victims into her bones,” Catrix spat, her voice raising as her anger grew. Celestia was startled into wakefulness and quickly found a set of claws gripping her throat as she tried to sit up.

“Catrix, don’t,” I ordered sternly.

“All those apologies, all those tears, and not one of them was for me or my sisters! Why should I spare her?! Why should I be the better person? Why...why am I the monster here?” Catrix demanded, her anger burning out as grief took its place.

“You’re not a monster Cat,” I responded soberly as I walked the rest of the way toward the pair and placed a hand on Catrix’s shoulder.

“I remember you now, I tried to have you killed,” Celestia murmured as she seemed to look at her captor for the first time, “I was wrong about you and your kind, I’m sorry.”

“I will bet my station that you’re just saying that to cut down on the number of enemies you’ve made, but I’ll let you live for now,” Catrix snarled as she released Celestia’s neck.

“I deserve that,” Celestia commented.

“Oh shut up, I think you’re trying to play us too. It’s what you do Chelly, it’s what you’ve always done,” I snapped, though I was mildly surprised when the alicorn winced, “But it would go a long way if you told me who you gave the surviving brain worms to.”

“Those horrid things? They’re nothing more than a failed experiment, I assumed they were destroyed,” Celestia replied, sounding genuinely confused.

“I just pulled three out of your sister, obviously they weren’t. I’m going to ask you one more time before I start taking you apart, who did you give them to?” I demanded as I pulled my hammer from my back and held it against the side of Celestia’s face threateningly.

“The castle mages, I gave them to the mages for study and disposal,” Celestia conceded, though she didn’t seem afraid.

“Abaddon, we’re going to Canterlot,” I stated, though we were already jerking into motion before I could finish the leviathan’s name.

“Your name is Catrix, isn’t it? I really am sorry for how I treated you,” Celestia repeated.

“Prove it by not betraying us at the first opportunity,” Catrix replied coldly.

“I deserved that too,” Celestia commented quietly, though I was already walking out the door and leaving the two of them to sort out their own problems.

I walked confidently through the corridors as they pitched and leaned with every one of Abaddon’s titanic steps, seemingly immune to the vertigo inducing changes to the direction of gravity. I was immune, having no inner ear structure to be thrown off by the shifting mass below my feet and the ability to root myself to the floor with every step.

Lily, however, had no such immunities, but that didn’t stop her from calling out to me as I walked, “Uncle Jay, are we going back to the city?”

“Yes, yes we are. I nearly forgot to ask if Blueblood ever got back to you, did he ever grow some balls?” I asked, pausing.

“No. Do you think I could talk to him while we’re there?” Lily requested.

“Absolutely, I’ll even accompany you. My business is with certain individuals in the castle anyway,” I replied.

“Okay, I can wait while you deal with them,” Lily agreed, long desensitized to the idea of me scaring or harming others.

“Sounds like a plan, want to join me on the deck?” I offered with an outstretched hand.

“Sure,” Lily replied happily as she took my hand with a hoof and let me hold her steady as we navigated the violently shifting corridor towards the sunlight. The spiked layers of abyssanite and leather hanging from my shoulders prevented me from carrying Lily, but she didn’t seem to mind as we found a spot near Abaddon’s head and watched the rapidly approaching city grow larger.

“You know he’s just worried about your safety,” I said after a few minutes of sitting in silence.

“You’ve said that before, but it’s getting harder to believe with every passing day. If he wants to break up with me, he should just say so. At least then I could go back to my life,” Lily responded dejectedly.

“He’s a noble, they’ve never done anything in a timely manner. I’m sure he’s just being thorough,” I repeated.

“Excuses, excuses. I thought we were in love, but I guess that’s not enough for him to spend time with me. Or maybe I’m the stupid one, thinking some prince would actually fall for me,” Lily sighed sadly.

“You’re joking right? Lily, you’re as close to succubus levels of attractiveness as a pony can get, enough for me to notice. He has to be enamored with you, even if he doesn’t realize how wonderful you are,” I reassured the unicorn.

“And I suppose my ability to turn him inside out has nothing to do with that,” Lily teased, finally lightening up.

“We call that insurance where I come from,” I replied, smiling. With brighter spirits, our trip to Canterlot didn’t seem nearly as oppressive.

I grinned as Abaddon ascended the mountain and perched over Canterlot once more, his cannons diligently searching for threats. My good humor wasn’t because of where we were, rather it was because not one pony screamed at the sight. They were becoming used to the sight and didn’t pay us any attention, which only made it easier for me to do as I pleased.

After a brief discussion on how we would both get to the castle, Lily ended up riding on my back and holding onto my hammer as I flew down. I didn’t bother landing in a dignified pose, as I would rather bare the glances of the guards than send Lily flying into them. Lily noticed this and nodded her gratitude as she clambered to the ground. With that out of the way, we were finally ready to walk through the main doors into Canterlot Castle.

“No trespassing,” the guards to either side of the door chorused as they crossed their spears and blocked our path.

“Really?” Lily deadpanned.

“She’s got a point fellas, just make your lives easier and get out of the way,” I instructed.

“No weapons or persons carrying weapons are permitted on the premises,” the guards stated robotically.

I leaned in to make myself seem more imposing than I already was, “I’m going to make this perfectly clear, you are going to let us pass or your head is going up your buddy’s ass and you’re both going in the moat.”

“It is a crime to threaten the royal guards,” they responded as both spears swiveled to point at me. I sighed and crushed both spears to scrap metal and splinters in my gauntleted fists, leaving the guards with broken sticks.

“We’re going to walk inside now, I will follow through on that threat if you try to stop us,” I warned as I motioned for Lily to enter the castle.

“No tre-” the guard on the left managed before I wrapped a tendril around his neck and pulled him into my grip. His partner only had a fraction of a second to realize what was happening before he found himself hanging upside-down with my fingers and tendrils wrapped around his barrel. After a moment’s thought, I reversed them so the one who had spoken the final line would get the worse treatment and made good on my word. I left them screaming in pain as they tried to separate themselves and swim at the same time.

“Damn Uncle Jay, you weren’t kidding. I didn’t really think you’d do it. Hell, I didn’t think it could be done,” Lily commented as she walked ahead of me and tried to cover her evil smile.

“Never piss off your local surgeon, they might do weird things to your anatomy,” I replied cryptically.

“That poor fool,” Lily laughed, unable to contain herself any longer.

“You say that like I didn’t shorten one of your legs as punishment for running away from home,” I rebuked.

“That’s not funny, I still limp when I think about that,” Lily responded, losing her humor.

“But you never made your mother worry like that again, did you?” I teased, “Anyway, I need to swing by the North Tower and crack some skulls for information before we harass Blueblood.”

“Alright, I’ll wait outside then. I don’t want to deal with getting blood out of my coat,” Lily replied as though it was the most normal thing she’d heard all day. This caused everything in the hallway to come to a screeching halt as all of the staff stopped to stare at the insane mare, many of them failing to stop in time and colliding with ornaments or each other.

“I doubt it’ll be that intensive, I’m just shaking down a few mages,” I shrugged, leading us through the familiar hallways toward the mages tower. I doubted they were responsible for what happened beyond one of their number selling the remaining worms in a bout of greed.

I motioned for Lily to stop when we reached the door before walking through and locking it behind me. In the same moment, my hammer left my back and tore the first door off its hinges as I made my presence and intentions known.

“WHO’S IN CHARGE HERE?!” I demanded loudly, causing the unicorns to balk and run higher into the relative safety of the tower. I retrieved my hammer from where it had landed and followed after them, pulverizing every door and repeating my question.

I ended up destroying every door in the tower, only finding my quarry when I cornered the frightened mages that had fled earlier.

“I-I’m in charge, sir,” I green unicorn stallion stuttered as he took a few tentative steps towards me.

“Wrong,” I declared as I drew one of my spike pistols and pinned all four of his legs to the floor, causing him to scream in pain and make the others even more afraid, “I’m in charge.”

“Y-Y-Yes, you-you’re in ch-charge. I’m sorry,” the unicorn blubbered, flinching at my cold words.

“And being in charge has certain perks, like getting any questions I have answered.” I continued, looking around at the shivering ponies expectantly, “My question is simple, who did you give the brain worms to?”

“We didn’t give them to anypony, we still have them,” a blue mare answered shakily, getting looks from the others around her, “I’d rather survive this than hold onto our stupid secrets.”

“All of them? You haven’t sold a single one?” I confirmed.

“No,” the previous leader whimpered.

“Then how is it that I pulled three out of Princess Luna’s head?” I demanded, drastically changing the atmosphere with that one question. I wasn’t some psychopath destroying their stuff for fun, I was now a concerned friend and bodyguard protecting my charge. Their features softened as their fear ebbed away, replaced by understanding and the respect they would show a royal guard.

“Because she had no respect for our methods. She should’ve waited to use our runes just like everypony else, it’ll take months to repair the damage she’s done,” a black stallion with an orange mane snapped, his tone prompting those around him to move away and leave him to be the only one hit by my attack.

“Mythic? You attacked the princess?” the staked stallion asked, horrified.

“You don’t know, none of you know. I’m the one who has to maintain that register, I’m the one who has to adjust each and every appointment time and notify those involved. So yes, I retaliated against the unprovoked attack on my sanity,” the black stallion spat.

“I’ve done enough paperwork in my life to sympathize, but that’s not going to save you,” I responded as I lifted my hammer.

“Oh yeah, kill me for returning the inconvenience. Must be nice having double standards like that,” Mythic snarked, halting my weapon bare inches from his easily shattered skull.

“What?” I hissed dangerously.

“You made more work for me, so I made more for you in return. I knew those parasites wouldn’t cause major harm, I worked on their development after all. Not that you’d bother to look that up,” Mythic elaborated, making me feel like a hypocrite.

“I suppose that’s fair,” I mused as I mulled over what else I could do and how I could justify any retaliation, finding nothing I could personally do to the stallion. But I was owed a favor, and politics were far from new to me, so I wasn’t completely declawed, “Well played Mythic, but just remember that it’s never a good sign for me to know your name.”

“Not to seem presumptuous, but could you remove THESE BUCKING SPIKES IN MY LEGS?!” the previous leader requested with a pained edge to his voice.

“Quit whining, I didn’t hit anything important,” I chided as I absorbed the spikes and repaired the damage with a quartet of tendrils, prompting the stallion to drop to the ground and hold his legs close to his body, “I expect I don’t need to tell you what will happen if any of you test me like this again.”

“Double. Standards,” Mythic repeated.

“Your cries of unfairness will fall on deaf ears next time Mythic, or maybe I’ll just cut your throat before you can even start braying. Believe you me, I want to kill and eat you all so I can steal your magic power, don’t give me an excuse,” I warned, not that Mythic would be there to see it.

I walked out before the arrogant mage could retort, as I had a plan for him and a more important engagement waiting for me at the bottom of the tower. As luck would have it, we were spared the effort of tracking down Lily’s fiancee.

“Lily?” I heard Blueblood ask as I emerged from the tower, “And Jekyll, ponyfeathers.”

“Blue? Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for weeks,” Lily asked worriedly as she sprinted over to the noble and wrapped her forelegs around his neck. Some other nobles huffed at the display, but jumped and scurried away when I glared at them and reached for my hammer. That was why I carried it in the first place, wielding a hammer the size of a fully grown stallion with one hand generally made an impression on those around.

“I’m so sorry Lily. I’ve been trying my best to get you here with me, but I’ve had to fight for every inch. It’s my mother, she arranged a marriage while I was at your resort,” Blueblood confessed, sitting against the wall as he let his fatigue show, “I hate her so much.”

“Your mother? You just seemed tired of her meddling before,” Lily asked, her worries forgotten as she stroked Blueblood’s mane and tried her best to comfort him.

“Not her, my betrothed,” Blueblood corrected, “She hates me just as much and won’t let me have a minute of peace when we’re together. Gods I’ve missed you Lily.”

“I missed you too Blue, what can we do to fix this?” Lily pressed, unwilling to give an inch to her rival. I was content to watch and give any solutions I could provide.

“Unless you can fake being a noble from a distant land, there’s nothing that will make my mother call off the engagement,” Blueblood sighed sadly.

“She doesn’t have to, she is a noble,” I interjected.

“What?” both of the lovers asked in unison.

“Lily is my adopted niece. As I actually am the king of a distant land, that makes her a noble,” I replied, holding back as much as I could.

“It’s worth a try, but I doubt that’ll be enough. Just claiming to be the king of some country nopony’s heard of doesn’t mean much,” Blueblood allowed.

“He’s telling the truth Blue, Uncle Jay really did conquer a country and continues to serve as its king,” Lily added, making Blueblood’s eyes light up as he jumped to his hooves and took Lily’s hoof.

“Then there’s no time to lose, I can’t stand us being apart any longer,” Blueblood declared hurriedly before guiding Lily down the hallway. I easily kept up and used my mere presence to incentivise those in the hallway to clear a path.

We turned down seemingly random hallways and corridors until Blueblood locked his legs and slid to a stop in front of a particularly ornate door, his sudden stop causing Lily to press into his side as she struggled to match his deceleration. Neither of them complained about the contact and they only held longing in their eyes as they shared a quick kiss before Blueblood rapped a single knock on the door.

“Enter,” a harsh voice ordered from the other side. Blueblood gingerly pushed the door open and stepped inside as though walking on eggshells.

“Mother, I have a proposal for you,” Blueblood began gently. He seemed more afraid of the thin white unicorn sitting at the table than he was of me.

“Spit it out then, can’t you see I’m busy?” the mare snapped as she lowered her fork and pushed her plate away.

“If you recall what I told you about my vacation, the mare I met there-” Blueblood attempted.

“The gold digging harlot,” the mare corrected.

“Excuse me?!” Lily demanded, stomping through the door and right up to the abrasive mare, “Did you really just call me what I think you just called me?”

“A gold digging harlot, yes. Now get away from me before I catch some disease,” Blueblood’s mother spat as she placed a hoof against Lily’s face and pushed her to the ground.

“Mother, she’s a noble and her family has more wealth than us,” Blueblood lied. Or at least thought he was lying.

“She works in that sleazy hotel, I’ve seen her there,” the mare barked. Though she laughed, there was no humor in her voice.

“Do not mistake a hobby for a life,” I growled as I entered the apartment.

“What’s this then, another intruder?”

“I am King Jekyll of Tartarus and you just assaulted my niece, in my lands that is a crime punishable by ten thousand years of torment,” I declared, making up the punishment and making a note to ask Tzu about it later.

“You are a liar,” Blueblood’s mother accused dryly. I didn’t bother arguing, I simply drew my sword and used it to cut open a portal on the nearest wall, “Whoop dee do, you can pull off some parlor tricks. Too bad I’ve seen illusions before.”

“Ripper, wrath demon of the abyss, step through and taste the air of the surface,” I ordered, ignoring the mare behind me.

“By your order, my lord,” one of the demons on the other side of the portal replied as it separated itself from the others and walked over to the portal.

“Fancy magic you’ve got there, I haven’t seen an illusion with sound since-” Bluebloods mother commented, her voice failing when the ripper stepped through the portal and into her apartment.

“Scream for me, mortal,” the ripper instructed, “I long to hear your anguish once more.”

“Simmer down, I’m just proving a point. Tell the nice ponies what role I serve in your society,” I ordered.

“Is that necessary? You are wearing tartaran armor, crafted by the smith of the Infernal Palace. That is the mark of royalty, it should be obvious to all that you are our king,” the ripper replied.

“It’s true then...and this one is a noble...but...but...but this is impossible,” Blueblood’s mother managed.

“When Uncle Jay gets involved, impossible becomes something like a suggestion,” Lily snarked, “So this is how things are going to go from here on, I’m going to marry Blue and you are going to get out of our way. If you do try to interfere, I’ll destroy whatever plot you’ve put together and come after you myself. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Blueblood’s mother whimpered, though her fear likely had more to do with the ripper drooling on her than Lily’s threats.

“Okay ripper, you can go home now,” I ordered, causing the demon to turn on its heel and return to whence it came without another word. I closed the portal behind it and flashed my niece a grin.

“Thanks Uncle Jay, you didn’t need to give up that secret for me,” Lily declared gratefully as she bounded over and gave my waist a hug.

“Of course I did, family is always more important,” I replied, “But your future husband seems to be having trouble with this recent development, maybe you should check on him.”

Lily turned to look at Blueblood and saw the same thing I had noticed, the stallion’s legs seemed to have failed him. He was now lying sprawled out with his stomach and chest pressed to the marble floor.

“Out,” Lily ordered sternly, sending the other mare running for her bedroom. I smiled to myself as I saw how much Lily had learned from me and how well she put those lessons to use, “Are you okay Blue? I didn’t scare you did I?”

“No, I’m fine. I’ve just never seen anypony take charge like that before, not against her. I’m-uh-not exactly decent right now, that was-um-stimulating,” Blueblood stammered quietly, tossing fearful glances in my direction.

“I refer to her mother as my sister, you aren’t going to upset me that easily,” I deadpanned.

“Still, could you give us the room? My betrothed and I have things to discuss and plan,” Lily requested, lying through her teeth. They were whispering about closets and other secluded areas before I was even out the door, prompting me to sigh and smile at their young love. It cost me a secret I was already losing, but I felt it was worth the cost. I had plenty more to fall back on if push came to shove.

Luna met me at the gate, two soggy and disturbed looking stallions to either side of her, “Jay, did you assault these guards?”

“You mean ‘did I shove one’s head up the other’s ass and throw them in the moat?’ Yes I did. They accosted Lily and I as we investigated the source of the attack against you and settled the issue with her fiance,” I responded evenly.

“I see, I’ll send a message to the captain of the guard reminding him of your status so this level of incompetence is prevented in the future. You two should have known better than to challenge Jekyll by yourselves, you’re lucky he didn’t kill you,” Luna chided as she turned to walk with me as I passed the shivering guards.

“So what brought you down here?” I asked.

“Tia’s double saw the guards but couldn’t help them herself, so she sent for me,” Luna replied easily, “The hardest part was getting them to stop crying after I got them separated.”

“I warned them,” I chuckled.

“Jay, they have serious mental trauma from that. It’s not something to joke about,” Luna admonished.

“They also learned a very important lesson about picking their fights,” I added, “I’ll even be nice and pay for their therapy.”

“It’s a start, but you should try to be a little less obscene towards the guards,” Luna advised.

“You should’ve seen Lily and Blueblood, they were adorable. Especially after Lily shut down Blueblood’s mother and forced her into submission. Young love like that is always adorable,” I commented, changing the subject.

“I assume she had help with that,” Luna accused, though not unkindly.

“Just minor things, bits of info she didn’t have and some hard evidence when it came to it,” I replied as I guided Luna down a side street without her noticing.

“I suppose she did learn from the best, though your politics are a fairly aggressive,” Luna allowed.

“Not really, I use everything I can justify bringing to bear just like everyone else. It’s not my fault I can throw more at my opponents than they can hope to compete with. That’s neither here nor there though, don’t you recognize where we are?” I asked, prompting Luna to look around.

“Your bar, was today so rough that it has driven you to drink?” Luna responded, confused.

“It’s also a private place where we can talk more openly about stuff,” I added as I held the door for Luna.

“Ever the gentlecolt,” Luna teased as she walked inside.

“Still empty, that’s upsetting,” I commented as I found us a secluded booth in the back.

“It’s two in the afternoon, everypony is still at work,” Luna countered.

“Good point, maybe this place isn’t a waste of money after all,” I conceded.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Luna asked.

“Blueblood and Lily. They way they acted around each other struck a chord in me, it highlighted just how much I was missing out on. They seemed to need each other, like being apart was suffocating to them. The way Lily just forgot all of her anger the instant Blueblood started talking about all the problems he’d been having with his mother and how she was keeping them apart, the way Lily channeled her inner me and threatened to kill Blueblood’s mother if she got between them again. I can’t help but notice we’re missing that,” I explained, allowing my troubled mind to vent.

“It isn’t that we don’t, I understand them completely, it’s that you don’t have that reflex. If you did, we wouldn’t be talking in a secluded booth in the back of a seedy bar,” Luna corrected.

“Can you help me learn?” I requested.

“It’s an instinct, no different than your drive to protect me. I don’t have the first clue about how to teach an instinct. We could fake it though, mimic the real thing until it becomes natural,” Luna theorized.

“That doesn’t feel right, but it might trigger something along the way,” I allowed, rationalizing the course of action despite my misgivings.

“The biggest thing that comes to mind is how we treat sex. It’s almost transactional, I ask and you give, there’s no passion to it. You act like a male version of Cat and show me the best time you can, but that’s it. It’s an act for you. I don’t want you to have sex with me anymore, not just because I want it. I want the next time to be because you want to make love,” Luna declared, surprising me with her determination. Luna loved her nightly ritual and said as much every day.

“Luna, are-” I began.

“I know what I’m doing and how much I’m going to hate myself later, it’s not nearly as important. I also don’t care where we are when it happens. Your emotions are more important to me than public opinion, you can pull me out of any engagement or even lay me down right there if you want,” Luna continued, her face reddening as she went off on a fantasy filled tangent.

“I’m not-” I attempted again, only to be silenced by Luna’s hoof covering my mouth as she became even more theatrical and lewd.

“It’s so much more important for you to find your lost passion, no matter what the cost. If we’re on top of a mountain and freezing to death, you should sunder my coat and warm me with your body. If we’re burning in the fires of Tartarus because some demons get the jump on us, at least we’d die together,” Luna continued as she stood in her seat and gestured dramatically towards the ceiling.

“Luna, calm yourself. I doubt this is going to be something that just happens randomly one day,” I pointed out.

“Unless I bribe Discord with candy or some such,” Luna countered, adopting a sly smile.

“Whoa now, I wouldn’t last a day here as a human. I’m starting to see what I’m missing, let’s just take the win and not do anything rash,” I advised, holding my hands up defensively.

“Relax Jay, ‘twas merely in jest,” Luna chuckled.

“That’s a relief, the thought of Discord messing with my head is pure nightmare fuel. Anyway, I also wanted to talk about our public lives. Word is starting to get around that I own Tartarus, it’s only a matter of time before the papers start taking their gossip further than a secret romance,” I revealed.

“Let them talk, they’ll never consider the possibility that we’re already married. Even if they did, who’d believe them?” Luna replied flippantly.

“And if they do?” I prompted.

“Then we go public and deal with the fallout,” Luna answered as though it was obvious.

“If our marriage is made public, the other nations will attack,” I reminded the alicorn.

“Shit, I forgot about that. How close are we to being ready?” Luna asked, wincing slightly.

“Not close enough. I saw the Fillydelphia defenses when I travelled there yesterday, they looked solid enough to handle the first wave of infantry but no war machines or flyers. Reports have the other major cities at about the same level, nothing has been done to fortify the border towns yet,” I responded.

“Are the border towns necessary? The caribou pulled out of the war, they won’t attack,” Luna pointed out.

“There are rumblings coming from the Badlands and I don’t trust them not to land north of Equestria and trek through the tundra, we could be surrounded before the first arrows fly,” I countered.

“Can we win?” Luna asked seriously.

I was silent for several minutes, just looking into Luna’s eyes and running calculations. Troop estimations, projected losses, movement patterns, and levels of training all ran through the inside of my eyes, though nothing added up.

“Jay, can we win?” Luna pressed more urgently.

“Yes. It isn’t going to be easy, but we can. We’ll have to be careful how we treat each other, then go public at the last possible moment so I can bring my troops and power into the fight. They can think we’re dating, but no reports of marriage can get past the publishers,” I reasoned, a new variation of my original plan forming and solidifying.

“I’ll get Tia to leverage her control over the press, we can do this,” Luna agreed, her eyes filling with renewed determination.

“We need to get back to Abaddon, I have sabotage missions to send out,” I declared.

“Sabotage? You’re attacking them?” Luna asked nervously as she followed me out of the booth.

“Military installations mysteriously catching fire, prototype weapons going missing, key tacticians suddenly wearing low hats and sunglasses, stuff like that. Nothing they can link to Equestria, even if they know it’s me,” I elaborated, “They’re trying to do the same thing, my enforcers just keep catching and killing their spies.”

“Wars are ugly affairs,” Luna commented.

“You didn’t even flinch when I told you I tortured one of them myself,” I pointed out.

“That was different, I had you to worry about. How are you doing by the way?” Luna asked.

“Better, thank you. I also hooked Tzu up with some assistants so he can work more efficiently,” I replied as we walked out onto the street. I found a full squad of Gammas waiting for us and blocking the road, a camera wielding pegasus held in the leader’s grip.

“It’s always something,” Luna sighed.

“We found this one on the roof opposite of the establishment, she was also in possession of rune powered listening devices and pages of notes that matched your conversation,” the lead Gamma reported.

“Why are you pestering me with this? You know how we handle eavesdroppers,” I responded, not bothering to look at the condemned mare.

“Jay, there are more subtle ways of handling things like this. Like explaining how important it is that our conversation remains confidential and trusting the good ponies of Equestria to make the right decision,” Luna admonished, receiving a flat look from every bioform in the region. Even Abaddon turned his massive head to stare at her, “Okay, I know that sounded naive but-”

“Make it quiet,” I breathed quieter than a whisper.

“We’ll see what the authorities have to say about treason and espionage,” the lead Gamma growled loudly, putting on a show for the few onlookers still in the street.

The Gammas took to the skies and appeared to loop towards the castle with their captive, but an onlooker with eyes like those Luna and I had would see the unnamed pegasus’s broken neck and dematerializing body before the enforcers reached the ground and assumed disguises.

“That was unnecessarily harsh,” Luna commented.

“Was it? I don’t think it was. Maybe you’re the one holding back when it comes to your ponies, you didn’t have any problem with me handling the gryphons or zebras,” I countered, silencing Luna’s protests.

“Ponies are supposed to be nice,” Luna managed after a few seconds.

“Nice is an illusion,” I spat, glancing around at the rapidly dispersing crowd.

“You’ve spent too long in the dark, it’s time to see the sunlight,” Luna stated as she pulled me out of the shadow of the bar.

“Was that supposed to be symbolic?” I asked blankly.

“Yes, now shut up and stop being so damn pessimistic. We have a way to not just survive but actually win, that’s cause for celebration. We can discuss my aversion to seeing my subjects detained later,” Luna declared as she jumped into a hover. Many of the onlookers gasped as she showed off her impressive wingspan. I grinned and showed off a little as I formed my wings and used the buildings on either side of the street to throw myself into the sky, dwarfing Luna’s wingspan by twice again their width.

“What?” I asked when Luna caught up and gave me a bemused look.

“Your wings seem smaller on Abaddon,” Luna noted.

“I usually start out with smaller wings and expand them once I’m in the air, it’s easier to maneuver that way. I wanted to show off a little this time,” I confessed.

“That sounds like you, practicality over everything,” Luna allowed.

“I prefer the term efficiency, but yeah,” I replied as I followed Luna back to Abaddon.

“So what else is on our schedule for today?” Luna asked.

“Getting your sister to suppress the news and going home,” I answered simply as I took the lead and led Luna into Abaddon’s internal structure.

“I thought we were home,” Luna countered.

“Abaddon is our home, but Ponyville is too. I’ll always have a connection to that place, even if it is a hive of trouble and headaches,” I asserted, finding a smile crossing my face.

“It is a testament to how peaceful ponies can be,” Luna agreed.

“How peaceful they can be so long as there’s a more powerful being watching out for them,” I corrected, “Ponyville has been destroyed three times, once for every time I was driven away.”

“Another of Tia’s crimes?” Luna guessed wearily.

“You could call it that if you wanted, but it was the forest that actually did the town in,” I replied as I stopped at our door and let Luna walk through first.

“It’s a wonder they built there in the first place, the Everfree has always been a cruel mistress,” Luna mused.

“It fell within my hunting grounds, I kept the danger at bay by simply existing,” I replied.

“Better get back soon then, I don’t think Twilight will be able to handle another ursa by herself,” Luna joked as she hopped onto our bed and leaned against the wall.

“Taking a nap?” I asked.

“Being cocooned makes it easier when Abby moves,” Luna replied.

“Makes sense to me, the pod would keep you from moving around so much,” I reasoned.

“Abby also lets me see through his eyes and removes the dizziness I usually get, at least he did when we walked over here,” Luna added, getting a thoughtful nod from me in return.

“I’ll be back in a second,” I declared after a brief moment of comfortable silence. Luna waved lazily as I turned and walked through the door to Catrix’s room, finding one wall covered in scorch marks and Celestia shivering on the bed, “Did you kill my demon?”

“I didn’t mean to, she was just so angry and I couldn’t get her to calm down. I-I lost my temper and threw her,” Celestia confessed, showing real tears as she looked up at me.

“That’s fine, I think she could use a few hours to cool off,” I replied with a shrug.

“You’re not angry? But I killed your friend,” Celestia stumbled, confused.

“So? We’ve both killed Cat plenty of times, it’s not really a big deal with her,” I explained.

“But getting her back is incredibly dangerous, who knows what could be waiting on the other side of whatever portal you open? And that’s not even accounting for the difficulty in setting up the ritual,” Celestia continued.

“I ate Belial alive, I have his powers,” I answered simply, silencing Celestia.

“I didn’t believe them when they said you ended the Awakenings for good,” Celestia confessed after a few seconds to process that information, “Then that means he’s gone forever? The threat of demons is erased?”

“I summon a few when I feel the need for support, but they obey my commands well enough and won’t terrorize your precious subjects. As for Belial, he follows the same rules as every other greater,” I replied, careful not to give away too much.

“He has to be whole to be reborn, but you ate him so that’s impossible. He can’t come back if there are pieces missing, the pieces you ate,” Celestia continued, sounding relieved for some reason.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I demanded, closing the distance to prevent the flighty alicorn from teleporting away again.

“Fate’s little henchstallions, one of them mentioned that an Awakening was coming. It’s had me on edge ever since,” Celestia admitted.

“You know what’s fucked up? I just planned one of my own a few minutes ago, it’s actually why I came to talk to you,” I chuckled, feeling my fear rise.

“Absolutely not, Equestria barely survived the last one. If you were to release the demons of Tartarus, all would be lost forever,” Celestia declared adamantly.

“Unless I specifically order them to protect the citizenry from harm and force the invaders to retreat,” I countered, “The rippers and succubi would obey that order, it’s the rest of them that worry me. But that’s the last stage of my plan, the first hinges on your ability to keep Luna’s relationship with me out of the newspapers.”

“You mean to go public at the last second so you can justify defending Equestria yourself,” Celestia deduced, “Smart, that’s what I would do.”

“It causes me physical pain to know that, but I’m not seeing another play that preserves Equestria,” I added.

“Why do you care about us? I always thought you related more with the gryphons than us ponies, even your daughter was a gryphon,” Celestia asked.

“Because...Because this is where I wanted her to grow up, a nice, peaceful place without the dangers of the Isles or the shady politics of Canterlot. Whether I like it or not, Ponyville is part of Equestria and there’s nothing I can do to change that,” I responded sadly.

“I know you don’t believe me, and I understand why, but I really am sorry for taking all of that from you,” Celestia apologized, sounding sincere.

“You’re right, I don’t believe you. But our interests have become one and the same, so I will trust that you’ll take the appropriate actions to see this country into the future,” I replied pointedly.

“Jekyll?” Celestia requested as I turned to leave, “You were right about another thing, it feels good to be kind to Luna. I was wrong to be so cold towards her.”

I paused while Celestia spoke, but didn’t look back before walking out of the room and ordering Abaddon to move. I rooted to the floor as everything pitched and turned, a side effect of having a base inside of a mobile creature, and contacted Tzu with orders to increase our attacks on the gryphon and minotaur production facilities. I wasn’t worried about the zebras, they had their totems and crude magic but that wasn’t something I could burn down and bury.

“With any luck they’ll decide it’s getting too expensive and back out,” I commented to myself.

As Abaddon walked home, I diverted my attention to each of my ongoing efforts in turn. The strategic command base in the south had been located and a force was already slipping in to subvert more of the staff, the Krakens had been mostly useless since the attack on the fishing vessels, and the mountain of reports from my spies wasn’t something I was ready to dig through yet. There was an odd note from the Krakens about some unusual storms northeast of the Gryphon Isles, but it was too far from anything relevant to the war and there weren’t any talks about weapon testing in that area so I didn’t pay it much attention.

Luna stirred and emerged from the objectively disturbing pod in a tangle of tendrils and mucus, though she didn’t acknowledge any of it as the tendrils that had formerly been holding her still cleaned the sore preventing fluid out of her fur. Overall, she looked like she was being vomited out of a clam/squid combination.

“Don’t,” Luna groaned as she pressed her hooves against her eyes, “I need a minute.”

“No worries, take as long as you need,” I allowed.

Luna swayed as she reacclimated to being her usual size, a disorientation I felt to a lesser degree every time I disconnected from my leviathans. To have your awareness expanded by that much only for it to be taken away, it took some time to get used to that. As if to punctuate my thought, Luna emptied her stomach and fell onto her side.

“Might be a good idea do just go unconscious next time,” I suggested.

“Bwaaah,” Luna moaned before spitting the last of her sick onto the floor and wiping her mouth with a fetlock, “Why don’t you get this?”

“I do, but not nearly as bad. You aren’t built for that kind of transition, of course it’s going to fuck you up,” I replied.

“Still worth it, seeing the countryside pass by like that reminds me what really matters,” Luna responded queasily, though she was picking herself up and looking much better already.

“I’ll coordinate with Abaddon about restricting how much access he gives you, that should cut back on how rough the separation gets,” I reasoned.

“Sounds like there are things you don’t want me to see, but I already knew that and made my peace with it. How did it go with Tia?” Luna asked, changing the subject for me.

“I told her I intended to cause an Awakening, pretty sure that got her attention,” I revealed.

“Do you?” Luna pressed, her eyes widening, “I mean, there are some decent demons but I wouldn’t trust them with that.”

“Absolutely not, that’s a horrible idea!” I laughed as I walked over and sat next to Luna.

“But...that doesn’t make any sense, why lie about it?” Luna wondered.

“A shit plan is still a plan, even if it’s an emergency backup. But I said that because my legion aided in the defense of Canterlot during the Second Awakening and I saw firsthand how terrified your sister was. Between that and how she thinks, she’ll immediately try to weaponize her own fear against her enemies,” I explained.

“I seem to recall mother doing something similar with beetles during the founding of Equestria,” Luna noted, “It makes sense that her protege would follow the same trends.”

“Does that mean you’re scared of the dark?” I teased.

“A little, it was worse when I was a filly. I feared that something would pull me in and nopony would find me because of my coat, I still feel like that sometimes,” Luna confessed, making me blink in surprise.

“Huh, I never would have thought of that,” I commented, “How does that work when you have perfect night vision?”

“I still know a dark corner when I see one,” Luna pointed out.

“And all of my forces have that same ability. And you move a natural satellite around with your mind, a feat of power you seem to consider a chore,” I added.

“That’s fair, but it’s just the remnants of an irrational childhood fear. I don’t avoid dark places or even think about them, I’m just not as comfortable being alone there as compared to being alone in a lit area. Or not being alone at all,” Luna responded, “But I do appreciate the attempts to assuage that fear.”

“Kinda my job,” I replied as I wrapped an arm around Luna’s shoulders.

“Makes me feel worse about being so temperamental earlier. I may harbor some misgivings regarding the way you hide things from me, but not to that degree,” Luna commented.

“It wasn’t your fault, it was a mage getting back at us for commandeering the range runes and messing up his schedule,” I excused.

“I still feel guilty about it,” Luna sighed, “Why couldn’t we be like a normal couple?”

“Because normal is boring,” I offered.

“Boring can be a good thing, boring means we’d be more like Lily and Blueblood. Boring means I could apologize by seducing you. Boring means I wouldn’t have anything to apologize for in the first place,” Luna lamented.

“Do you want that kind of life? My cabin is still there, it wouldn’t take much work to expand it into a proper house,” I asked.

“Oh heavens no, but a mare can hope that one day she’ll have a nice, calm, simple life,” Luna sighed before adopting a mischievous look as she poked me in the side and added, “Maybe a foal or two to complete the picture.”

At Luna’s words, my mood darkened slightly. For all my blustering about it only taking some time to get the gene alterations done, I didn’t have the first clue how to actually create viable offspring. The enforcers weren’t proper children, they were pieces of myself that had been severed and grown into separate entities. I’d tried using artificial wombs during the experiments that created the Alphas, but every single one had fallen apart at some point during the process. To repeat the experiment with Luna would be a death sentence, her Redlight resistant body would offer no protection from the rapidly mutating Blacklight eating her alive.

“You might reconsider after you meet Frey,” I joked, hiding the uncertainty I felt behind a mask of humor.

“If she’s anything like her father, I’m sure she’ll be a terror the likes of which hath never been seen before or since,” Luna replied, giggling.

“You know, we don’t really have anything else to do today…” I began.

“Say no more, my answer is yes,” Luna declared as she snuggled into my side.

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” I protested.

“Something along the lines of lying around, being lazy, and cuddling,” Luna predicted.

“Damn, I must be getting predictable,” I replied.

“Only to those that know the real you, the ones that know the loneliness you try to bury. You’ve got the strength and the army and the adopted family, but I’m not the one who goes straight to cuddling after we have sex. It’s okay to get lonely sometimes, it’s just part of being an immortal and why it’s important to find someone to hold onto,” Luna responded as her horn flashed and my armor appeared on the opposite side of the room before clattering to the floor. With her only obstacle removed, Luna pushed me onto my side and crawled into my arms, “Better?”

It took me several seconds to form a response. The way Luna had positioned herself with her head on my shoulder filled my vision with the sight of her mane and overwhelmed my olfactory senses with her scent. Without thinking, I brought my hand around Luna’s back to hold her head while I buried my face in the comforting smell of her neck, leaving nibbles and kisses to show my gratitude.

Luna giggled and squirmed as I happened across a ticklish spot, though her only protest was to guide me towards a better spot with her hoof.

“Thank you,” I breathed, completely lost for words.

“You don’t have to thank me, I’m enjoying this more than you are. There’s nothing for me to gain from having you smelling my mane, it’s an entirely selfish act on your part. But when combined with the fact that your legs are falling apart, it shows itself as an instinctive act of love and affection,” Luna whispered, using my own style of logical reasoning to emphasize her point. An act that only made me hold her tighter.

“I have an idea. I’ll fall asleep, then you meet me there and I’ll show you something from my world. A guilty pleasure I had when I was human, romantic comedies,” I suggested.

“They made comedies about romance? That doesn’t sound right,” Luna asked suspiciously.

“Their more commonplace name was ‘chick flicks’, you’ll like them,” I promised.

“It can’t hurt I suppose,” Luna relented as she wrapped a hind leg around my lower body to embrace me with all of hers and closed her eyes. I sent one final message to Abaddon and Tzu telling them I would be unavailable for a while before following Luna into slumber.


Perspective Change: India Twenty-Three Dash Two
A.K.A. Lt. Barry He’tag’geh (Brute Force)
Commander of Strategic Command Security Operations
StratCom Headquarters, Badlands


Things could’ve been going better, the subversion force was working quickly but those that hadn’t been replaced were getting suspicious. In particular, a certain gryphon that was staring at my back as I pulled off my uniform and hung it up for tomorrow.

“I’m serious Barry, his eyes were red. I’ve known Colonel Halfwing for years, his eyes have always been green,” Margarite, my disguise’s lover, insisted. She’d been getting steadily worse as more and more of her coworkers were replaced, and had refused to leave our small apartment all day.

“I’m sure it was just the light Mar, the sand and heat do weird things like that all the time. I’ve jumped more than my share of the staff already for that same reason, but they’ve all come up clean. Tartarus, it might even be some rogue spell floating around the desert or a totem one of the zebras lost,” I responded a little more harshly than intended, causing Margarite to take a step away from me, “I’m sorry, this mess has me on edge too.”

I actually had been accosting random members of the staff, but my intent had been to publicly douse them in Cure so there would be less doubt placed on the replacement after the original was killed and consumed later.

“You’re sure? You’re really sure none of those things are in here?” Margarite pressed.

“I’m sure. I killed the only one to show up, that must’ve been enough to keep our location secret. This eye color confusion has to be caused by something else,” I lied.

“Please, just look me in the eyes and tell me there are no monsters in this bunker. It’ll make me feel better,” Margarite begged, her fear clear on her face and in her scent. She froze when I turned to grant her request, seeing my crimson irises.

I caught her and held her beak closed before she could scream, “I saw them too, but I am not one of those things. There aren’t any monsters in this bunker, I’ve had my troops checking for them constantly. I even checked myself after I passed a mirror, this eye color thing is caused by something else.”

“How can I believe that? You had blue eyes when we first got here,” Margarite demanded as I released her beak, She was already starting to cry.

“You know me better than anyone, you know who I am under the mask I wear for work. You would know if I’d been replaced. I’m not acting weird, I’m not sneaking off in the middle of the night, I’m the same Barry you fell in love with,” I insisted.

“Alright, just promise me you’ll figure this out soon so I can relax,” Margarite requested as she took a deep breath.

“I promise,” I vowed, internally wondering how to keep this up until the rest of the staff had been converted. I stood from where I had kneeled to silence Margarite and returned to my dresser to finish undressing and preparing my uniforms for my next shift.

As I finished my task and turned back to Margarite, something painful impacted the side of my head. I was on the gryphon before she could react, allowing the melting flesh of my face to drip down on her as I split my skull in two in order to silence her muted screams for help that much more quickly.

More pain erupted across my chest and arms as Margarite found her Cure sprayer and doused me as much as she could, forcing me off as my arms withered away. I had more than enough biomass though, she wouldn’t be able to kill me with her little squirt gun. I caught her ankle with a tendril and pulled her back when she tried to run, causing her to drop her weapon and whimper in terror as I crawled on top of her and readied an execution.

“This is your only opportunity to survive this Mar, allow yourself to be replaced and you will be transported out of here unharmed,” I offered as my claws rested bare millimeters from the gryphon’s neck.

“Why?” Margarite managed though her tears and shaking voice.

“Because Barry still lives to a degree, all of his memories and feelings survive within me. I don’t want to kill you, I like you, and I want us to continue living together,” I confessed, being honest with the gryphon for the first time.

“You’re insane, delusional. I could never be happy in the same room as the monster that killed my mate, I’d rather die than live like that,” Margarite spat, finding her courage.

“I know, but I had to ask. Please understand that I didn’t want this to happen,” I apologized before closing my grip and cutting off the gryphon’s head. With the deed done, I slumped against the wall and mourned the loss of another lover. I felt a tickle on my cheek and wiped it away to find the back of my hand was now wet The only evidence of the only tear I had ever cried was now drying before my eyes, as short lived as my hopes for ever building a relationship.

One of my sisters arrived less than a minute later, drawn by the sounds of our struggle. She didn’t say a word about my half melted state as she consumed Margarite’s remains and assumed her form, even ruffling her feathers to play the sound off as rough sex when one of the few members of the security staff that hadn’t been replaced knocked on the door.

“Hey, get up,” the other enforcer ordered after the guard had been sent away with her blend of lies and smiles. I could barely look at her like that, she seemed to be mocking my failure with her very existence, “I said up.”

I didn’t get a choice this time, instead I was lifted and set against the wall before a hard slap turned my head towards the bed I had shared with the real Margarite.

“Nope, none of that. Get your shit together Two, we still have a job to do. Hey. Hey! Stop it with this pity party bullshit and get back on mission,” the fake Margarite snapped.

“I just need a minute, my disguise had strong feelings for her,” I requested.

“It was mutual, but the mission comes first. We can resolve this mess between us after we clean you up and confirm personality traits. I’m Two Nineteen Dash Five, by the way. You can call me Five or use whatever pet names our disguises had for each other,” Five allowed.

“Squad Two Hundred and Nineteen? Are you new?” I asked. There hadn’t been that many India squads when I left, there had been a hundred.

“Yes, now help me get Margarite’s personality perfected so I don’t blow what remains of our cover,” Five instructed.

“She’s nicer than that, more soft spoken. Her personality is more amicable and comforting than authoritarian,” I critiqued, starting the process of fine tuning my sister’s actions. It was the cost that came with replacing a corpse, not all of who that person used to be made it into the replacement.

When we finished roughly ten minutes later, Five took my hand and led me to bed the same way Margarite used to do with Barry. Though neither of us required sleep, it was important for us to maintain the appearance. Going unnoticed would help us kill and convert the rest of the facility, as was our mission.

And the mission always came first.
> Chapter 31: Kicking The Anthill
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Unknown


A song played from seemingly nowhere as Jekyll and Luna walked through a metal corridor, their mouths moving as though they were arguing about something.

Without warning, the scene shifted to show the two of them looking grim as they stood over a pale body. Jekyll appeared to be pointing out how the figure died and gesturing to the lack of blood on the ground, though no words could be heard as he spoke. Only the song.

When it changed again, Luna stood in the background with wide eyes as Jekyll lifted a zebra and slashed the equine’s intestines out. Luna’s face held naught but fear, though Jekyll’s was filled with anger and disappointment. The zebra’s mouth opened in a scream, but no sound could be heard over the music.

Again their surroundings changed, and when it solidified Jekyll and Luna stood back to back with their weapons drawn as blurry figures whirled around them. Both of them stood with scowles of determination as they fought back against the indistinct figures, their weapons of choice flashing in the dim light of the sunset.

The world seemed to turn as the battle was replaced with a peaceful field with pony shaped figures running around. Only Jekyll and Luna appeared to be in focus as they sat against a tree with looks of contentment. A dark pony, slightly larger than the others, ran up to them, though it bounded off happily when Luna nodded in response to whatever it had said.

Darker this time. It was raining. Luna stood alone as Abaddon fell behind her, his once imposing form lit aflame and brought low. Her closed eyes added to the water covering her face, but her jaw was set. In the distance, a dark figure smiled behind glowing white eyes. The world spun and dematerialized just as Luna opened her eyes to reveal their slitted appearance.

Daytime now, Jekyll stood with a look of rage as he pointed a greatsword in Luna’s direction. Luna in turn held her scythe ready, her eyes still slitted. The world seemed to turn as the view moved around them, revealing their location at the base of Canterlot Falls. The scene ended as they lunged at each other…

...to be replaced with the two of them lying in bed with confused looks on their faces as the song ended.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“What the intro sequence fuck was that?” I demanded as my sight jumped back to my eyes. I could see the spot where my vision had just been coming from, but there was nothing there.

“I need a mirror, I need to see my eyes,” Luna cried as she ran out of the room, though she didn’t make it very far if the sounds of retching were any indication.

“No seriously, what the fuck just happened?” I repeated. At this point, I expected the universe itself to give me an answer.

“A warning,” a voice replied. I didn’t recognize the voice, but it wasn’t hard to figure out who it belonged to.

“Fuck off Discord. If you’ve got something to say then just say it,” I snapped.

“Alright then, I’m starting to get angry at the two of you for excluding me. The whole reason I’m here is because you’re a constant source of entertainment, but you intentionally leave me out of your adventures. You can consider that a warning, a taste of what may come if you continue to ignore me,” Discord threatened.

“It’s an open invitation, just tag along if you want to. Or did you want an invitation written in virgin blood and sealed with wax made from Luna’s bones?” I spat, not taking the threat well.

“A knock on my door as you passed would do, just something to show that you haven’t forgotten about me,” Discord responded.

“I’ll specifically invite you during the next minor crisis, but no shenanigans,” I allowed.

“I guess it’ll have to do...for now,” Discord replied warningly as he disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

“Jayyy,” Luna groaned from just outside the door, “I can’t move. Bring me a mirror.”

“Yeah,” I agreed distantly, my mind on the flashes Discord had shown us and whether or not they were of our future. I had decided they weren’t by the time I reached Luna, my destiny was my own. That figure with the glowing eyes though, I’d seen it before.

“Uuuugh,” Luna complained, holding her forehooves out like a child wanting to be picked up.

“I didn’t think those images were that disturbing,” I commented as I obliged and carried Luna back to bed.

“But-But I fell...AGAIN. How can I reconcile that? Knowing what I’ll become...I’d rather die,” Luna rambled.

“I wouldn’t take that nonsense too seriously, plenty of things in it weren’t even possible,” I reassured.

“Like what?” Luna asked quietly, her voice tinged with a glimmer of hope.

“Abaddon burning down for one,” I replied easily.

“What?” Abaddon asked, forgetting to use his inside voice and rumbling his question over the plains.

“Do you have any idea how much firepower that would take? I doubt this world has enough incendiaries to accomplish that,” I continued, heedless of Abaddon’s concern.

“I suppose that makes sense, and if one thing is wrong then none of it is certain,” Luna agreed hesitantly, some color already returning to her face.

“Come on, your eyes are perfectly fine and you need some food. How do hayburgers sound?” I offered as I cleaned the spittle from Luna’s chin with my thumb. Luna smiled at the prospect of good food and nodded her agreement.

“That sounds good, maybe we can catch up with Twilight while we’re there. She’s about due for another magic lesson,” Luna replied.

We made small talk as we traveled down to Ponyville and entered the fast food restaurant, though we avoided talking about anything significant until we were seated and reasonably sure no one was listening.

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked suddenly, abandoning our previous discussion about the storm schedule and how best to position Abaddon so the grass under him wouldn’t die, “You’ve seemed stressed ever since you talked to Tia yesterday, did she say something?”

“Yes and no, but I’m not sure I should talk about it,” I replied, being intentionally vague.

“Did she confess her love for you?” Luna teased, cracking a smile.

“Har har, no she...She said something wrong, something she should know but didn’t,” I responded quietly.

“What did she say?” Luna pressed, her voice dropping to match mine.

I looked around before placing a hand on the side of Luna’s head to establish a link, “She got the rules for demon resurrection wrong. She said they had to be whole to come back, as in entirely whole.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Cat had her throat ripped out by the spiders and she came back right away,” Luna replied silently, her brow furrowing.

“The actual rule is that their skeleton has to be in one place for it to burn away and allow the demon to return. Unless the bones are destroyed, in which case the demon is gone forever,” I corrected, prompting Luna to throw a glance at the sword attached to my hip.

“It opens portals and turns white when you feed it power, bone white,” Luna commented, forgetting to use the link and speaking out loud.

“Use the link,” I reminded gently, “Yes, my sword is made from one of Belial’s fingers. The rest are scattered and hidden so well that not even I know where any of them are, not that I’m looking for them beyond ensuring they don’t pop up in a museum.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” Luna asked.

“Because Dopple knows this too and he might try to exploit your sister’s ignorance in order to take Tartarus from me. While this isn’t likely, it would have disastrous repercussions and can’t be ignored,” I explained. Luna paused as she contemplated the situation, eventually reaching the same conclusions.

“This can’t be allowed to happen, who knows the locations?” Luna asked out loud.

“No one alive,” I replied.

“Explain,” Luna prompted, “Out loud, you sound fuzzy through the link and I need to know my ponies will continue living in peace.”

“This is the part I’m not sure I should say, it seems disrespectful,” I stated quietly, pausing as I weighed my options. After a few seconds, I decided that Luna could better aid in the prevention of that possible outcome if she was informed, “It was an operation the like of which has never been seen before or since, a dozen knightly orders were involved and the compartmentalization of information was extreme. No one person ever knew where the bone was going or where it ended up, and every single person involved committed suicide afterwards to keep what little information they had secret. And I mean everyone, even the janitors that buried the burned letters between other members. I’m the only exception; in addition to serving as a mark of my rank, giving me Cataclysm was meant to serve as a last bulwark in case the other bones were somehow found and collected. I’d killed Belial, I should be able to handle whatever fool would try to bring him back. That or become strong enough to break the damn thing and eat it so the whole endeavor can never be rendered pointless.”

“Wow, so that’s why you won’t bring it to Tartarus,” Luna breathed, her expression unreadable as she shook off my hand and tended to her thoughts privately.

“Tens of thousands killed themselves so it would be impossible to track down them all, I won’t fail them,” I added. Luna had seen how I got when I was drunk, she knew how much I revered the dead.

“The number was intentional I take it? To prevent necromancers from getting the whole puzzle?” Luna guessed.

“No, burning themselves to ash with specially made charms did that. The number was to keep the process spread out and vague enough that none of them could be coerced or manipulated,” I corrected.

“And how do you know all of this?” Luna asked, sounding more curious than accusing.

“It was voluntary, everyone knew what it entailed before they signed up. The goal and the expectations were public knowledge in the kingdom,” I answered.

“I knew he was evil, but so many lives lost just to keep him from coming back,” Luna breathed, “But you can’t destroy his remains?”

“Too powerful, I’ve tried everything but I can’t even scratch them,” I confirmed.

“I’ll keep a lookout for anything that might be able to. Moon and stars, I’m going to need a drink after this,” Luna sighed, looking down and shaking her head.

“Agreed, they deserve more toasts than I could ever give,” I replied, “Want to hit Vinyl’s after we eat? It’ll be more tame during the day.”

“Are you even allowed in there? I wouldn’t want you in my establishment after the stunt you pulled,” Luna asked pointedly, tossing me a light glare.

“You’re kidding right? I own the building, the land it’s sitting on, and the leviathan replacing both of those, they couldn’t keep me out if they wanted to. Besides, I’m pretty sure Vinyl’s too scared of me to say no,” I scoffed.

“Jay, no. That’s the way a villain talks, don’t be a villain,” Luna admonished, “We will ask them politely and respect their wishes, we have drinks at home if they don’t want us frightening their other customers.”

“Spoilsport,” I grumbled, relenting to Luna’s assertion.

“Thirty-five!” a mare yelled, signaling that our lunch was ready.


Perspective Change: Kraken One-One


“Who ordered this mess?” Five complained.

“Nobody, One wants to make an impression and solidify his place as captain,” Three replied sourly.

“Stow the chatter, the dignitaries should be arriving any minute. You hear anything out there Two?” I asked, silencing the others.

“Negative, but we all know how seaponies are about their secrecy,” Two rumbled back, the vibrations of his speech carried the extra distance by the higher pressure near the seabed.

“We’re wasting our time here, they’re not coming,” Four declared as his head poked through the surface far enough for him to look towards the horizons, “Our only company is the Palimodes.”

I released a heavy flow of water in our version of a sigh and rose to the surface to take Four’s place and speak to the captain of the fishing boat that had been following us all week.

“Now there’s a big catch,” one of the ponies aboard the vessel laughed as Four sunk below the gentle waves to wait for the seapony diplomats and I pushed more of my body out of the water and turned one of my large eyes towards the vessel, “Didn’ hook ye, did we?”

“I wouldn’t notice if you did,” I replied, causing many of the crew to jump in fright. They were ill accustomed to being spoken to by creatures of the sea. I ignored them and focused my attention to the one who had spoken, deciding that he must be in charge, “Why are you following us?”

“Hehehe, I seen ye haulin’ wrecks ta shore. Seen it wit me own eye, so I says ta me crew I says ‘Colts, we’re gonna follow them fish.’ See ‘cause I knew, I knew ye were the savin’ type and we needed that in these here troubled times,” the stallion explained.

“Why are you talking like that? You are sailing a fishing boat, not a pirate ship,” I pointed out, finding the manner of speech distracting.

“Me Palimodes is a versi-versa...changeable vessel, she be whatever we need her ta be. These days here, being a ship built fer fightin’ will only get her a trip ta Pony Joe’s locker,” the captain corrected, being surprisingly candid about his willingness to avoid protecting Equestria and hint at his ship’s time as either a privateer or pirate ship. I also found it amusing that the stallion accidentally referred to the bottom of the sea as a doughnut and coffee shop, but didn’t put voice to my humor.

“I see,” I rumbled as I debated passing along what I had learned or simply hauling the entire boat back to port and exposing them as cowards, “And what is your name then?”

“Captain Kal Quin, at yer service ma’am,” the captain replied easily, “And yers?”

“I am Kraken One-One, captain of the krakens. I am also neither a biological female nor interested in being one, though you may address me however you like; I simply wanted to prevent any confusion,” I corrected, maintaining my friendliness while I internally debated. I was also curious whether or not this pony was intoxicated, I didn’t consider myself to be feminine by even the slightest margin.

“Having fun up there One?” Three teased, the waves carrying his amusement. Even the possibly drunk boat captain noticed the change in the current Three’s chuckle had caused.

“I’m not keepin’ ye, am I? Don’t wanna get ye in hot water,” Kal asked. I’d made my decision, I’d let him continue on his chosen heading until the tides turned and left him dead in the water. And I’d be there when it did.

“No, I’m the highest authority on these seas at the moment. Only my father can judge me and he trusts me to act as I deem appropriate,” I replied curtly, “However you are correct, I do have other matters to attend to. I trust we may continue our conversation another time?”

“O’course, never has Captain Quin turned down a nice chat with a lady,” the captain allowed with a polite bow. This pony fascinated me, he was steady as a rock despite his drunkenness and the rocking of his vessel yet still insisted on describing me as female.

“I look forward to it Captain,” I bid as I stopped pushing myself out of the water and sunk beneath the waves, though I heard his call of farewell through the hull of his ship and tapped the planks as I returned to my previous position.

“Did you make a new friend?” Four asked as I came to rest beside him. There was no insinuation in his voice, just idle curiosity.

“I did, and he is of a less than savory sort,” I replied, rumbling louder so the others would hear and understand.

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that angle. Good thinking One, a lead into the rumor mill is one swell of an accomplishment,” Three allowed, his usual joking tone drowned by his surprise, “I didn’t think we could get that kind of advantage.”

“He also seems to think me a female,” I confessed. There was no room for secrets among my squad.

There was a long pause before Six rumbled an awkward, “Well… you are rather... slender.”

There it was, I knew the laughter and mocking from the rest of the squad had been coming. It was almost tradition for us to tease each other, as all squads before us had done.

“Hey-Hey One, if we go a couple klicks further east we’d be able to marry the two of you. The drunken captain and his sea monster bride, a match made in Tartarus!”

I smiled as well as one could with a circular mouth, my tentacles shaking as I laughed with them. The seaponies never arrived, but we gained a source of information and I made a friend. We called the mission a success anyway.


Perspective Change: India Twenty-Three Dash Two
A.K.A Lt. Barry He’tag’geh (Brute Force)
Allied Nations Strategic Command Bunker, Badlands


It was time. My security teams, all having been replaced with enforcers, stood ready while a swarm of aids, only half of them being disguised spies, awaited the arrival of the various representatives.

I hadn’t quite gotten over the loss of Margarite, but Two Nineteen Dash Five was doing her best to keep my mind off of her by sending plenty of extra work my way. It was a kind gesture, but I would still need another two days before I could finish processing and storing the important parts of Brute’s memories of her so I could seal off the rest. Maybe after this mission I’d be able to take a break and be someone easier, someone who could get a dog.

My thoughts snapped back to the present as the heavy door was pulled open to admit the first set of representatives. It was the minotaurs that arrived first, led by the delegate himself in a show of bluster that impressed no one and gave us all a good indication of how the next week was going to go.

“Ah ha, you must be the head of security! Good on you, my boy, way to show those turkeys how it’s done,” Regnot praised as he attempted to dislocate my arm with vigorous shakes of my hand and pats to my bicep.

“I’m the shift leftenant sir, the SecOIC is General Harnd,” I corrected before quietly adding, “A gryphon.”

“And modest too. Word has reached all the way back home about you and how you’ve turned this place around, you’re the hero of South Minos. No need to let the bird get all the credit son, we know who the brains are around here,” Regnot continued, making everyone outside of his view, including the real minotaurs, sigh.

“If you don’t mind sir, I’ll need to leverage my heroics in order to keep the other representatives in line,” I requested, raising a hand to gesture for the insufferable minotaur to move along. Regnot laughed and clapped my shoulder as he finally moved on towards the conference room.

The other representatives arrived and moved through the security checkpoint without fanfare, barely acknowledging me beyond a nod of approval to show that their standards were met. I followed the last to arrive, a gryphon named Felix that constantly stole glances at Mar-Five’s rear, as he followed her towards where the other representatives were waiting.

Everything changed as soon as I barred the door, and not by any of the enforcers present to spy on the exchange. While we had strict orders to maintain our cover until the opportune moment, another force obviously did not.

The sound of steel scraping against steel was the only warning any of us received before the personal guards that had arrived with the representatives drew their swords and detained my security officers and the representatives they were supposed to protect.

I was pushed against the wall as the blade pressed against my throat in a way that would open arteries if I tried to escape, my fellow enforcers finding themselves in similar positions as a single gryphon stepped out of the confusion and into the center of the room.

“What is the meaning of this? Felix, get your gryphons under control!” Regnot barked indignantly before the minotaur holding him down dug an elbow into his back and forced him into pained silence.

“I’m afraid none of you hold any sway over these soldiers, they belong to me alone,” the male gryphon in the center of the room declared with a distinctly female voice. Another shifter? An enforcer wouldn’t be this obvious, even a rogue one.

“Who are you?” I growled, feigning a struggle against my captor.

“I think you meant to say ‘what’, not ‘who’,” the gryphon mocked as its talons and paws burst into flame.

“No, it can’t be. They were all destroyed,” I gasped in genuine shock before I could catch myself, left otherwise speechless as the creature before me revealed itself.

As the flame traveled up the gryphon’s legs, fur burned away to reveal the black chitin hiding just underneath. If I’d had any doubts about what sort of monster stood before me, the holes in those legs erased them. I was looking at a member of an extinct species, a changeling from times long past. The emerald blaze had passed the creature’s shoulders now, revealing it to be much taller than before. It was easily as tall as Mistress Luna or the enemy Celestia, marking it as a queen.

“There, isn’t that better?” the queen asked as it looked around smugly and the last traces of the gryphon burned away, revealing an unsurprisingly feminine face and long fangs that dripped with only slightly less venom than its voice. My eyes found the vampire’s waist in an effort to discern the hive it had come from, identifying it easily. This one had come from the same hive that had ignited an instinctive hatred in my entire species, one directed towards the bugs of that hive in particular.

“No,” I replied simply, bound by my orders to remain hidden but likewise compelled to wound the beast however I could.

“Oh trust me, the feeling is mutual,” the queen bug shot back with a knowing wink. She knew. She could detect us. She needed to die now before she could expose our presence here.

“TO ARMS!” I shouted as I headbutted the minotaur holding me and rammed the disguised changeling’s own sword through its chest, my brothers and sisters doing much the same as they freed themselves and their weapons.

“How adorable,” the queen droned as her crooked horn flashed and we were halted in our tracks. I tested the paralysis field holding me and found that I’d be forced to give up my cover to break it. A glance told me my companions were in the same situation.

“What do you want?” Felix asked with a surprising amount of calm, drawing the queen’s attention off of us for the moment. With a flick of her head, the changeling holding the gryphon representative down pulled away and allowed him to rise, “Thank you. If I may ask again, what are your demands of us?”

“Why would I want anything from you?” the queen sneered, but Felix continued to hold her gaze.

“Why else would you come here, much less as our guards, or the specific guard I’ve been having relations with, if you didn’t desire something we could provide? If I were to take a guess, I would wager that you intend to use our invasion to facilitate one of your own,” Felix began, keeping his eyes trained on the shapeshifter as she walked around him in a manner reminiscent of a hungry shark. I was mildly surprised to hear the gryphon admit to having a homosexual relationship so publicly, but also knew that he was a politician and that his pride always came second to his ambitions.

“And why would I wait this long before invading a peaceful country like Equestria? Why would I need or want your assistance?” the queen pressed, leaning in to nibble on the representative’s neck and making him squirm at the contact.

“Because of the same reason we’re hesitating to take action. The reason why we took so much care in keeping this bunker secret and away from his spies,” Felix managed awkwardly as he cringed away from the changeling.

“Jekyll,” the queen hissed as she pulled away, “Very good, you’ve figured me out. I need you to attack early so I can gather the power I need to kill him, something large enough to pull him away and allow me to gorge myself on the ponies. Celestia could defeat him if she tried, I intend to surpass even her if my plan works the way I expect it will.”

“There’s little honor in attacking an unprepared enemy like that, but those blasted spies are everywhere and there’s no honor in them either,” Felix allowed, nodding along with the queen’s proposal, “When?”

“The walls have ears my sweet, I’ll tell you when it will be too late for them to act on their stolen information,” the changeling replied with what could be called a purr.

“And until then?” Felix asked, a touch of fear finally entering his voice as he realized how intently the vampiric bug was looking at him.

“You’ve already fathered and fed thirty-five thousand of my young, what’s a few hundred thousand more? We do need an army after all,” the queen answered as she returned to making the gryphon uncomfortable, her wings buzzing as she showed her amusement.

“What do you intend to do with us?” Regnot demanded, his face showing the terror his voice belied.

“You will assist me as well, though the zebra is useless and should remain to uphold the illusion that I’m not here at all,” the bug responded, as though there weren’t any other options.

“And if I refuse?” Regnot demanded, his own words seeming to scare him.

“Then I’ll take your mind and use you anyway, though that would be a waste of precious love and I would prefer to avoid doing so. I will also be retaining my true appearance to conserve resources, along with my retinue,” the queen explained.

“One final question, if I may? Do you have a name?” Felix asked, his demeanor calming noticeably as he no longer had venomous fangs less than an inch from his throat.

“I am the last queen, sole survivor of the Everfree hive, the savior of my race, and the destined ruler of this world. I am Chrysalis. And you, you are surrounded by the children of my most hated foe.”

Father was going to be livid.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“You’re joking,” Luna stated in disbelief as she stared down the young stallion checking the ages of the patrons.

“No princess, the two of you are still welcome here whenever you like. Vinyl apparently got swamped with requests to open up the floor to different styles after Mister Jekyll’s show and I can say for sure that profits are up. We even had some stuffy nobles here for Octy’s rendition of Maretova last night,” the stallion replied easy.

“Cool, does that mean we don’t have to pay the cover charge?” I asked.

“No, that’ll be one bit each,” the stallion responded, his demeanor returning to that of the dedicated doorpony. I flicked two bits his way and he opened the door for us after the coins landed in his saddlebag with a pair of muffled clinks.

“Show off,” Luna teased as I followed her inside.

Instead of the usual overpowering bass thumping that usually drowned out all possible conversation, the air carried the soft melody of a piano as some pony beyond our sight played a calming tune. I didn’t know this song, but it seemed to speak of sorrow and loss that hadn’t struck yet despite their inevitability. An emotion I knew far too well, one I felt every time Lucky or her children crossed my mind.

The song ended as we neared the concert hall, replaced with a boisterous voice that rang through the building with familiar ease.

“And that, my dear ponies, was Rarity Belle playing ‘I’ll miss you’. Believe it or not, this was the premiere of that particular song. Who knew Ponyville’s own seamstress was so good with the keys? We’ll have to get her and Octavia on the stage at the same time, that might actually make me cry,” Vinyl Scratch praised as we walked into the room and saw Rarity blushing behind the wheeled piano onstage, “Next up on our roster is yours truly with a remix of Octy’s performance from yesterday, it was just too perfect to pass up.”

Two stallions emerged from backstage and escorted Rarity away as they removed the piano while Vinyl pushed her massive speaker system to the forefront by herself, an impressive feat for a unicorn, though it left me wondering why the DJ didn’t use magic to help her. I continued to watch the mare onstage as Luna led me to the bar, following her movements and noting the lengths she went through to maintain an impressive stage presence without using magic once.

“That’s some dedication right there, keeping it natural,” I commented approvingly after a minute or so, finally turning my attention to Luna and the drink in front of me.

“About time you took your eyes off that mare, trying to make me jealous now?” Luna accused jokingly as she swirled her glass and took a sip.

“Just impressed, you only see that level of restraint in true enthusiasts and my enforcers. She hasn’t used magic once this entire time,” I replied, nodding towards the stage.

“I thought you hated music like this?” Luna asked.

“I do, but I can still appreciate the skill. I don’t particularly like the sound of a piano either but I have a new respect for Rarity after hearing her play,” I countered.

“Why thank you, dear. I must say, playing in front of all these ponies was terrifying,” Rarity replied gratefully as she slid onto a stool on Luna’s other side.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what inspired that tune?” Luna asked, turning to regard the mare.

“If we’re going to talk like this, we should grab a table,” I suggested before Rarity had time to stumble over her answer. I caught the look of deep seated fear, one not belonging to anything here, and made the snap decision to stall on her behalf while she sorted out her answer.

Luna looked between the two of us and nodded, “I suppose it would be rude to talk over one another like this.”

We found a table easily enough and around the circular piece of furniture to continue our drinks and conversation, though we had to ignore the preexisting empty glasses that hadn’t been taken away yet. Luna and I forsook the chairs in favor of sitting on the floor so we would be at roughly the same height as Rarity’s chair enhanced stature.

“Yes, this is much better darlings. As for my song...It-It’s for my parents…” Rarity began uneasily, shivering in the dim light despite the warm temperature.

“Are they sick? I’m sure Jay would be happy to treat whatever ails them,” Luna offered, looking my way for confirmation.

“They’re fine, they’re fine. But they both got very sick last winter and nearly passed, Sweetie and I were so scared for them. We didn’t know what to do, none of the doctors could do anything so we just had to wait and see if they’d recover. They both got better and we were happy to see them up and healthy again, but it made me realize that they wouldn’t be around forever,” Rarity continued before having to stop and collect herself. Luna placed a sympathetic hoof on Rarity’s back as I nodded.

“I know exactly what you mean,” I agreed quietly, my rare show of real emotion catching the unicorn’s attention.

“You weren’t lying then, when you said that thing to Twilight. About you…” Rarity trailed off.

“I’ve been adopting whole families that’ll have me, maintaining the role of uncle until their line ends. I’ve lost so many, I know the creeping dread you’re talking about. It was my only constant companion for a long time,” I explained, prompting Luna to place a hoof on my back as well.

“Not anymore, I’m not going anywhere,” Luna declared as she pulled me closer, drawing Rarity in as well. Rarity’s chair scratched across the floor as she was pulled into Luna’s embrace, downy wings extending as though to shelter the two of us from time itself. I looked at Luna when she didn’t release her hold and shrugged in Rarity’s direction, it seemed Luna was content to hold us both for the moment.

“Yes, um, as I was saying, I cried a lot that spring and found music seemed to help. One thing led to another and I started playing the piano, that song just seemed to come naturally to me,” Rarity concluded.

“It felt lonely, unfinished. I think it was missing something, even in loss there are others to share the burden,” I appraised.

“A violin, perhaps a larger stringed instrument as well,” Luna agreed, earning a nod from Rarity.

“I was thinking of asking Octavia, but I don’t know how to write music,” Rarity replied.

“I can play by ear,” I offered.

“And I can write it out,” Luna added, “Wait, you play?”

“I’ve had a long time to pick up hobbies, guitar, drums, violin, knife throwing, chemistry, painting, pottery…” I reasoned, listing off a few on my fingers before trailing off and shrugging.

“This would be a good time to gather your friends, I’m sure each of them has some skill that will help us finish your beautiful song,” Luna suggested, obviously trying to turn this into a lesson of some kind.

“Luna, this doesn’t need to be a group effort. I wouldn’t expect Rarity to share the stage with me, I was just offering to be polite,” I whispered, though Rarity tilted her head and gave me a sad look.

“I wouldn’t deny you just for trying to help, of course you could play if you wanted. And Twilight could make sure we all start at the correct times, Fluttershy could...Fluttershy…” Rarity attempted before losing steam and falling silent as she thought.

“She sings, but good luck getting her to add her voice,” I replied.

“Yes, that makes sense. She does have a lovely voice, it’s a shame the poor dear is so scared of other ponies,” Rarity commented.

“AJ and Dash would be good for an ambient sound in the background, like raindrops on a roof,” I continued, an idea taking form.

“I can help Twilight with organizing and writing everypony’s parts,” Luna offered again, “What about Pinkie? Where would she fit in?”

“Pinkie’s brand of music is far too jovial for this dear, she would need to work in the background to help us with distribution. Her massive network of friends can help with that, including getting Vinyl to use her equipment to record it,” Rarity suggested.

“We’ll leave you to it then, let us know when you’re ready to give it a shot,” I instructed, looking forward to this now that we were talking about a studio song instead of a live one.

“What about right now? While we’re thinking about it and focused,” Rarity suggested, “After you finish your drinks, of course, I couldn’t ask royalty to drop everything like that.”

“No offense was taken my little pony, I understood your meaning,” Luna replied with a smile as she tipped her glass and finished her whiskey. I followed her lead and did the same, the familiar burn giving me a measure of comfort. It was one of the few things that never changed, grass grew, whiskey burned, and the world kept turning around me.

I had to take a second and correct myself after that errant thought, the world didn’t change around me. It changed around us, I wasn’t alone anymore. I’d found that same solace in my enforcers once, immortals to keep me company through the years. But they hadn’t filled that void, they were more like pieces of myself than actual people.

“I just thought of something, we have a celebration to plan,” I declared, surprising both of my companions with my outburst.

“What happened?” Luna asked, confused.

“You should know, you were there. One of my enforcers is ready to enter the world as her own person,” I replied happily.

“Veil! Of course!” Luna exclaimed, bringing a hoof to her forehead, “How could I have forgotten?”

“Her own person?” Rarity asked.

“The enforcers are more like children than you realize, they are kept close to keep them under control as they develop and learn how to be themselves instead of Jay’s fragments,” Luna explained, periodically looking at me for confirmation that her synopsis was accurate enough.

“She’s hit that point, she’s ready to be released from my influence and make her own way,” I reaffirmed, a mix of pride and sadness coloring my mind.

“We can do that while Rarity here sets up the practice session,” Luna declared, rising to her full height and folding her wings in anticipation of our departure.

“Alright, see you later Rarity,” I bid as I picked myself up and cleaned the floor grime off of myself and Luna. I didn’t think anything of the action until I saw Rarity’s red face looking around frantically, “What?”

“I would ask the same, is it that uncommon for one friend to assist another in such a way? I cannot see my backside, as such it would be quite difficult for me to brush myself off adequately,” Luna added, her voice loud enough to carry and deter any other onlookers from getting any problematic ideas.

“O-Of course dears, I simply have no idea why that surprised me,” Rarity replied, “I’d better get going as well, so much to set up and all that.”

Despite bidding each other farewell, we still ended up awkwardly walking out together before heading our separate ways.

Luna and I discussed our plan to inform Veil as we walked, figuring out the best way to give her the news. Once we arrived and flew up to the deck, I sent a Mike to retrieve the soon to be ex-enforcer while Luna headed straight for our room. Now that Luna was hidden and the message was away, I retreated to the staging room to wait.

“You, uh, wanted to see me sir?” Veil stammered as she slowly walked into the room to find me lazily sitting against the wall.

“Yep, figured it was about time,” I replied evasively, now stalling so Luna could get down here and wait outside for the right moment.

“The right time for what?” Veil asked nervously.

“Everything has consequences, today you’re going to face the repercussions of what you did while ‘helping’ my wife,” I warned, keeping my tone menacing for effect until Abaddon gave me my next cue.

“B-But I thought-I thought everything went okay...ish? I mean, I made a few mistakes but there wasn’t any permanent harm,” Veil attempted eyeing the door fearfully though she knew it wouldn’t open at her pull. Luckily for Veil, Luna had just arrived on the other side.

“Okay-ish? You think it went okay-ish? Do you have any idea what you did out there?” I demanded.

“No?” Veil offered weakly as the door opened and Luna walked in with a smile.

“You picked a name for yourself and showed your real personality, you met the last requirements for being considered your own entity,” Luna replied, getting a dumbfounded look from Veil as the enforcer looked between the two of us.

“I knew it was either really good news or really bad news when you started teasing me like that, but I wasn’t expecting this,” Veil admitted, “This...this isn’t either.”

“I don’t understand,” Luna commented as she placed a hoof on Veil’s side.

“She doesn’t want to go her own way,” I clarified, getting a nod from the enforcer.

“Oh, I remember feeling similar when my parents died. It was so scary for Tia and I during those first few months. But that’s what makes us stronger,” Luna reassured as I stood up.

“Can’t I just go back to my old job and pretend nothing ever happened? Or just not have my genes removed?” Veil pleaded, stopping me as I mulled over her reaction.

“I’m reminded of the birds, the way they’ll push their own young out of the tree when they don’t fly right away. This is me giving you a push, you’ll still have a soft place to land if it doesn’t work out,” I reasoned, offering my hand instead of forcing freedom on the enforcer. This had to be her choice, one of many to come.

“That’s a no then, I’ll have to go out there and do...something,” Veil sighed, “It’s bad enough that you know my name, I was happy with working in the shadows.”

“I’ve known your designation ever since you established yourself as a leader among the other Romeos, watched you develop and grow from afar. I could see that you didn’t care for attention so I kept my distance, just the way you liked it. But I’ve been taking notes for all these years as well, marking off all the different times you did things because you wanted to. Every disagreement you solved, every bit of advice you’ve given, all the times you’ve snuck into town to buy sweets with money you didn’t think I knew you took. You’re ready, go show the world what I’ve seen,” I responded sincerely, making the enforcer cringe at a couple points.

“It’s scary, what if I can’t fit in?” Veil asked worriedly as she extended her hand to hover above mine.

“Then ask for help, what are friends and parents for,” Luna replied easily as she poked at Veil’s side.

“Can I come back if it doesn’t work out?” Veil continued, her hand drifting lower until less than a millimeter separated her from true freedom.

“Of course,” Luna answered softly. That was enough, Veil’s hand dropped the rest of the way into mine and gripped it firmly, giving me far more than the contact I needed to adjust her cells and remove my control over her.

“It’s done,” I declared after a few seconds, though Veil continued to grip my hand.

“I don’t feel any different, am I supposed to feel different?” Veil muttered, sounding more like she was talking to herself.

“Veil, just relax and take it slow,” Luna advised.

“Relax? How can I relax? Everything I’ve ever known is gone, what if I don’t like Manehattan or Minos or wherever I’m supposed to go?” Veil rambled as she pulled away from us.

“I think you misunderstand. I can’t force you to do anything anymore, you’re not supposed to go anywhere or do anything. You can go wherever and do whatever you want,” I corrected.

“Can I stay in Ponyville?” Veil challenged.

“I think I understand, Jay’s waiting for you to stop asking permission and just go where your heart tells you to go,” Luna responded thoughtfully.

“We don’t have hearts,” Veil and I corrected at the same time.

“I’m still right,” Luna insisted.

“Maybe, but what do I do?” Veil pressed.

“You stumble and fall, fail again and again, until you find something that you love to do,” I answered easily, though this did little to ease the former enforcer’s fear.

“Fail…” she muttered blankly.

Luna’s hoof brought Veil out of her stupor, “I know you’re scared, so is every filly and colt when they go out into the world, but that’s no excuse to panic. We’ll still be here to pick you up when you fall and set you back on your hooves.”

“Hooves?” Veil asked, retreating into her thoughts once more.

“You picked a pony name, why not live a pony life as well?” Luna suggested, reading Veil’s expression well. I was content to remain silent and watch them talk it out, though I agreed with Luna. Veil had always been very empathetic for an enforcer and would be able to hide herself well as a result.

“I’ll need to get a job,” Veil commented quietly.

“Something involving conflict resolution,” I offered, knowing my daughter well enough to guess her strengths.

“What about social work? You could help foals find loving homes,” Luna proposed.

“That sounds nice. Okay, now what?” Veil asked with an expectant look towards me.

“Now I have your documents forged while you setup your new appearance and go look for a job,” I replied, sending the order as I spoke.

“Oh, that sounds hard. I’ve never invented a persona before,” Veil muttered.

“Start with an existing template and make adjustments until it’s you,” I instructed as I dropped to my talons in the guise of Best Defense.

“Wow, I haven’t seen that face in a while,” Luna chuckled as I walked over to Veil and grabbed her shoulder.

“Life is an adventure, ready to start yours?” I baited, playing into the pride of the enforcers. Veil may have been reserved, but no enforcer refused a direct challenge like that.

“Yeah, alright. I’m gonna make up a new face and go make a name for myself,” Veil declared, a new determination entering her voice. She didn’t waste any time striding out of the room towards parts unknown, but I had a feeling she’d do alright.

“Why do the cheesy lines work so damn well?” Luna asked seriously.

“Pretty sure it has something to do with ambient magic or some such nonsense,” I replied honestly, “Can’t blame me for weaponizing something that’s already there.”

“As long as it isn’t used for evil,” Luna allowed.

“Ready to go finish Rarity’s song?” I asked, ignoring Luna’s implication.

“We will discuss this later, but alright,” Luna relented.

“Come on now, we’ve finally got something innocent to do. What could be more relaxing than writing a song?” I scoffed.

Three hours later we were back in Vinyl’s club and ordering three drinks at a time. Twilight’s mane had loose ends sticking out in odd directions and Rarity had a stick and leaves marring hers. Pinkie had a deflated look as she pounded chocolate vodka, eager to forget the nightmare we had all come from. Fluttershy had simply gone home, retreating to familiar ground after the embarrassing practice.

“Well that was horrible,” Twilight commented from behind her wine cooler. She seemed to be trying to use the wide glass to hide her shame.

“Well, it could’ve been worse I suppose,” Rarity offered.

“Eenope,” Applejack responded, “Applebloom and her friends did better than us on their first try. Maybe writin’ music just ain’t our barrel of apples.”

“Octavia laughed at us, and it wasn’t a nice laugh,” Pinkie sniffled. The drunker she got, the closer she came to crying.

“That’s because it was super funny,” Dash rebutted, drawing incredulous looks from her friends.

“How could you say that, dear? It’s just mean,” Rarity huffed.

“No it’s not, it’s true. We downright sucked at playing music today, that’s for sure, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We had loads of fun and did so badly that as soon as you stop being embarrassed, it becomes hilarious,” Dash asserted.

“You listening Lu?” I asked, somewhat concerned with how quickly Luna was drinking.

“Nah, her and Twi are too darn busy tryna ferget today,” Applejack replied as she stacked her fifteenth glass, eclipsing both of the other two heavy drinkers combined.

“Remind me to set you up with some kind of support group,” I teased, getting a shrug from the farm mare. My jokes about her alcohol tolerance were nothing new.

“Oh come on you two, it wasn’t that bad,” Dash insisted.

“Horrible experience or not, I’m calling it,” I added, waving the waitress away before she could take another order.

“Dammit Jay, I’m not...not drunk yet,” Luna griped, bringing a hoof to her stomach and cringing as her body tried to reject the alcohol.

“Dash, could you get Twilight somewhere comfortable?” I requested as I stood up.

“Callin’ it already sugarcube? I guess those two were drinkin’ mighty fast,” Applejack asked.

“Sorry AJ, I know you haven’t gotten to cut loose in a while,” I apologized as I walked around and picked up Luna.

“No worries, Ah’m pretty well used to drinkin’ by mahself at this point... That sounded better in mah head,” Applejack replied before looking down at the drink in her hoof in a new light and setting it down, “Maybe Ah’ll call it here too.”

“But I’m not drunk,” Luna protested as I hefted her onto my shoulder and used my other hand to help Dash do the same with Twilight.

“Never let me drink that fast again,” Twilight managed as she tried to hold her liquor.

Dash said something in response, but I was already carrying Luna out the door by then. I briefly considered what this might do to Luna’s reputation, then dismissed the line of thought. Luna would be fine. She was inadvertently setting herself up as the more down to earth princess who was inclined to live alongside her subjects, and normal ponies sometimes got so drunk that they had to be carried home. Luna’s current state fell in line with all of this.

I hadn’t expected reporters.

“Mister Jekyll, what do you have to say about the rumors that you’re dating the princess?”

“Is that her? Is she sick?

“Stop,” I commanded, not having to raise my voice or make threats, “Luna and I are dating, yes. She’s right here, but she’s had a bit too much to drink so I’m taking her home.”

“Scandalous, what else can you tell us?” another reporter asked hopefully.

“What are you talking about? Luna moved in with me months ago because her sister was being a bitch. I actually have a question for all of you, why are you pestering us? Shouldn’t this be old news by now?” I countered.

“It’s what our editors want, they think you and the princess will sell more papers if we get an interview,” the first reporter answered.

“And you all had that conversation earlier,” I guessed, getting nods in response, “Alright, be annoying if you want, but stay away from the giant next to the town unless you really hate being alive.”

This caused concerned muttering among the newsponies for several seconds and made me wish I could just jump over them, although this would upset Luna’s stomach more than I would prefer.

“It’s our home, we’ve increased security after some of the Wardens broke in, murdered one of our friends, and ponynapped another. You might recall that I killed them all over that incident,” I elaborated. This seemed to remind the overeager ponies who they were talking to and they all shuffled back to let us pass without further questions, except for one pegasus that had to ask one last question and spark another round.

“Do you have any comment on the rumors that you are the king of Tartarus?” the pegasus mare asked, making me pause.

“No comment for now, but I’m drafting one to address those rumors the next time I’m in Canterlot,” I replied evasively.

“It’s a simple yes or no,” the mare pressed.

“Let’s say I am the king, would it really be within my status to reveal something like that through a cheap tabloid? Even if I’m not, using any of your papers as a medium would be spitting in the face of the knightly order I once called my brothers. Take the facts that are already known and be happy,” I responded warningly.

“You were a knight?” the second reporter confirmed.

“Again, that was already public information,” I droned.

“Jay, der’s a spike pokin’ me,” Luna groaned, prompting me to adjust how she was sitting on my shoulder plate and mentally kick myself for not taking off my armor. Break in period or not, it was just in the way right now.

“What about that armor? Where did it come from? You were never seen in armor before,” a third pony asked.

“I’ve had enough of this, you are all officially impeding my duties as Luna’s personal physician. Begone or I will have you detained,” I snapped, startling the paparazzi and getting them to leave us alone.

“Jay...be nice to them, jus’ doin’ their jobs,” Luna chided weakly.

“Next time you can be the sober one and answer all the questions you like,” I replied as I set off once more.

No one else spoke to us as I carried Luna back to Abaddon, the only sounds being those of the town’s daily activities and Luna’s occasional groans as her body rebelled against her actions. I refused to fly us to the deck and instead forced Abaddon to pick us up and carry us all the way to his back, an action he found amusing for some reason. Something about reshaping the tendril into an umbrella next time.

Luna was holding a hoof to her mouth by the time I got her into our room and the sounds her stomach was making made it clear that she wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer. I barely got her to the floor and pulled her hair back in time, though Abaddon was much quicker in making a hole to catch the mess.

“There you go, you’ll feel better once you get all of that alcohol out of your system,” I cooed as I stroked Luna’s back and helped her lie down as her legs gave out. I continued trying to comfort her until some new crisis interrupted us.

“Lord Jekyll!” an enforcer cried as it skidded into the room.

“Better be good to justify delivering your report personally,” I warned, irritated by the interruption.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that it’s good news. The opposite actually,” the enforcer stumbled nervously.

“Spit it out then, forewarned is forearmed. Don’t know why else you Indias would exist,” I ordered sternly.

“Right, uh, we lost the bunker and the representatives might be getting eaten alive by changelings right now,” the India summarized, freezing me in place as I processed that last part.

I didn’t bother with fanfare as I purged the toxins from Luna’s body and set her upright, dizzying the mare with how quickly her situation changed, “Explain the changeling part.”

“They got in disguised as the representatives’ personal security, then outed us and took over the base,” the enforcer elaborated, “I got here as quickly as I could.”

“For the love of-come here!” I demanded, pulling the details from the India’s memories instead of fussing with actual speech. I was silent for a solid five minutes after I released the enforcer and waved him away, my stoicism seeming to make Luna increasingly nervous as she watched the developing situation, “I missed one.”


994 Years Ago


“No,” I begged as I made for the door.

“Sir you ca-” One of the guards began before the other waved him back with a hoof. I absently noticed the one who had waved was Steadfast, the guard I had lectured so many years ago. They let me pass without incident, for better or worse.

Sigrid was there, lying in a still warm pool of her own blood. It wasn’t spreading, there wasn’t anything left to bleed. I didn’t care about the guards’ crime scene, I walked right into the mess and kneeled to give her one last hug while I looked around at the rest of the room. A dozen dark bodies were strewn around, the sword I’d made last night still lodged in one of them.

I choked back a cry of anguish, I should’ve been here. I should’ve stopped this. I had one mission and I’d failed it. Greed blood stained the walls in thick weeping streaks, giving me the impression the dark bodies were more like insects than ponies. I felt more than heard the guards walk in as I set Sigrid back down and turned her body over to inspect her wounds, bites. They’d bitten pieces out of her until she bled to death.

The guards were talking, but I was beyond their words as I moved from Sigrid to her murderers. I found the most intact body and held it up to get a better look at it. It was a mix between a pony and a beetle, a face easy to hate. The monster’s head exploded in my iron grip as my disguise dropped and I closed my fist.

“They’re changelings,” Steadfast explained, “I’ve never heard of them killing anypony before.”

“Freydis,” I demanded, not bothering to look at the guards.

“Taken. Based on the scene, she was their target,” the other guard replied.

“They don’t have a scent,” I noted, holding the remains of another up to my nose.

“Ookay, so?” the guard asked blankly before the body collided with him and sent him flying into the wall hard enough to disrupt his disguise.

“Neither do you,” I finished as I descended on the monster and drove my fist through it’s abdomen, absorbing the remains and gaining the location of the nest.

“Gods, they took Shield Wall too?” Steadfast cried in alarm.

“Infestation,” I growled, “You need to warn the town, gather the militia and lead the locals to somewhere safer. Ponyville is dead.”

“What? But how?” Steadfast stumbled, uncomprehending.

“Your protectors are gone, your options are to be taken by these things or eaten by the beasts of the forest. Leave while you can,” I ordered.

“Where are you going?” Steadfast asked, turning grim as he fully understood what he was witnessing.

“To war. I know where they are, I’m gonna kill ‘em all,” I stated with a homicidal calm, my body shaking with rage.

“If you hurry, the gr-” Steadfast attempted, but I wasn’t listening anymore. I knew what I was, I’d known since I woke up in the forest six years ago. I was the fury, the rage, the death of those who would call themselves enemy, and they would know the true meaning of retribution.

My roar of anguish and rage left Steadfast writing on the floor with blood leaking from his ears, his fault for not leaving to warn the town like I’d told him to. I left him there as I walked out and started walking towards the changeling hive responsible for this, my pace increasing until every step tore pieces from the ground and another roar tore from my throat.

The cave that led into the underground complex was guarded by two bugs wearing stolen militia armor, they didn’t even have time to shout an alarm before I burst from the trees and collided with the first one, shattering the thing’s exoskeleton and pivoting on the spot to drive my foot through the other’s head. Only one entrance means only one way out, a punch hard enough to shatter stone trapped them inside with me. I would have my revenge.

I didn’t form my claws, I used my hands to tear them apart as I found them. They screamed and begged for their lives as I pulled their legs off and left them to bleed the way they had done with Sigrid. This wasn’t a fight, not one of them even tried to stand against me, it was pest control.

“Mobilize, my children, a beast seeks to destroy the hive!” a commanding voice echoed through the tunnels, visibly changing the demeanor of the bugs as they now sought me out instead of running away. I grinned ferally as I finally revealed my claws and started slashing through them, the one who had spoken was in charge. The queen bug had given away her position, providing me with a target.

I was strong but the bugs seemed to be endless, their bodies serving to hinder my path even in death. Slowed but still moving towards the source of the voice, I roared my challenge once more and shook the entire complex as I made sure the queen knew her end was coming.

Cut. Cut. Cut. Kick. Stomp. Cut. Always forward, always moving. Every swing of my claws ended the lives of a half dozen bugs but eight times as many crowded in to fill their place, choking the tunnels and forming an organic wall I constantly had to push back even as their dead aided them from beyond the grave.

“Kill it, bring that beast down. It must get no further,” the voice ordered again, its fearful tone putting a grin on my face as I relished in my revenge.

“I’LL KILL YOU ALL!” I growled, shouldering the wall of bodies back even as I cut them down. They had nowhere to go and I’d run them out of bugs eventually. I ran out of tunnel first, the wall breaking to reveal a massive chamber with several structures carved from the stone itself. The wall divided, seeking to trap me on the ledge I stood upon.

“You. You who came here seeking violence, you will see the might of our hive and tremble at our strength!” a larger bug declared dramatically from one of the structures.

“FUCK YOU!” I spat, kicking a rock at the queen hard enough to shatter the chitin on her leg. She cried out in pain at the impact, her shout serving to enrage the smaller bugs, “Come on then, come at me and face my claws. Rage versus rage, let’s see which one burns brighter!”

Changeling blood dripped from my claws as a massive number of bugs emerged from seemingly everywhere and descended on me from every angle, trampling each other as they came down the ledges and pushed each other out of the way in the air as they suicidally charged from the air.

All met their end at my claws, teeth, and stomping feet in the cases when they ended up on the ground. It took hours, but the hive ran out of bugs. I still held the severed leg of one drone in my teeth and dragged another along the ground as I closed in on the now terrified queen. Once so confident and proud, the queen now crouched low and whimpered fearfully as I stalked towards her.

She jolted when I spat the leg at her hooves and tossed away the lifeless body to free my claw, knowing her end was fast approaching.

“Where is she?” I demanded.

“W-wha-” the queen stammered before I grabbed her snout and whipped her over my head hard enough to shatter her legs and back when she hit the ground on the other side.

“STOP SCREAMING AND TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!” I roared over the queen’s wails of pain.

The bug stifled her cries and saw that her only chance for survival required her to give in to my demands, the realization and hope crossing her features briefly before she managed to choke a few words through her mangled jaw and probable concussion, “Who come for?”

“Young gryphon. Female. Taken today. You should know, given that your vermin waited until I left for the day before attacking. They killed her mother and took the child,” I growled dangerously, seeing a spark of recognition in the insect’s eyes before it was clouded with confusion.

“Don’t kill, no good from dead. Dangerous too,” the queen argued, shaking her head.

“Save it for someone who gives a fuck. The gryphon, tell me where she is,” I ordered as I lunged down and stopped my claw right before it could touch the surface of her eye.

“Down. Outgoing shipments. Husk,” the queen bug rasped, sounding amused. I swiped down as I walked away and severed her wings and legs, leaving her to bleed to death while I found Freydis.

I followed the path down from where I had broken the queen and killed the hive, searching one antechamber after another until I located one full of large pods. As I ventured further into the room I inspected the nearest cocoon, inside was a pony that looked exactly like the bug I had killed in the cabin. Another held Blueprint. The mare that ran the candy shop was locked inside a third and withered to the point that one could see her bones poking through her skin. I searched every cocoon, not stopping when I located Freydis but continuing until the face of every replaced citizen of Ponyville had been seared into my memory. Only then did I cut Freydis free and try to revive her.

“Come on, Frey. You’re gonna...miss...breakfast…” I attempted, shaking the gryphon. Her feathers seemed to have lost their sheen, appearing dull and lifeless in a way that even corpses couldn’t compete with. I fell back and allowed grief to overtake me, sobbing tearlessly as I lamented how badly I had failed them.

Freydis took a breath.

I jumped back to her side and resumed my efforts to wake her up, but failed to accomplish anything. Pulling her eyes open revealed them to be staring straight ahead in an empty gaze. She was alive, but this wasn’t Freydis. Everything that had been her was gone, sucked out by those monsters.

At least there was one I could share my pain with.

I set Freydis on my back and felt tendrils extend to lock her in place, just as they had every time she decided I needed to carry her. The memory almost made me stumble as I ascended to the dying bug. I found the queen attempting to heal herself with some kind of dark green magic, having already stopped the bleeding and fixed whatever had been obstructing her speech.

“I trust you’ll be leaving now?” the queen asked, feigning disinterest.

“What did you do to her?” I demanded.

“What we always do, what we are paid to do. We sucked the emotion out of her soul and consumed it, leaving her as a husk ripe for a new owner. You want someone to punish, try the one that gave us this contract,” the queen spat.

Her attitude changed when I knelt beside her and tore a portion of her shoulder chitin off, “You live for as long as you tell me useful things. Starting with who sent you after my kid.”

That word startled both of us, but at the same time I knew it was all but true. I’d been the male parent in Freydis’s life just as long as her real father had been. I needed her to get better not because of some stupid mission or goal, it was because I loved her as though I was her real father. Anything that stood between Freydis and becoming whole again was that much closer to being a memory, starting with the bug that caused all of this.

Another section of chitin was torn away, making the bug cry out and beg for mercy. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, there was no mercy to be found here. Only answers and death.

“No names, we don’t use names. It was a male though, earth pony, he has a dark brown coat and lighter mane,” the queen revealed desperately. I knew the name that matched that description, I had built his house. He would die too.

“Last opportunity to survive, fix her,” I ordered, fully intending to honor the deal. Today.

“It can’t be done. Emotions only come out of the soul, you can’t jam them back in,” the bug retorted as though I was stupid.

“Shame, I would’ve walked away too,” I replied before backhanding the queen’s head from her shoulders and running a claw along the body from neck to groin so I could stomp the life from any eggs she might’ve had left.

With the last survivor purged, I found the tunnel I had emerged from and began my trek back into town so I could cleanse it of the remaining bugs and get a second opinion about Freydis’s condition.


Perspective Change: Unknown


I had heeded the call, seen the damage the intruder had done to mother, but I wasn’t permitted to fight back against the beast massacring my lesser kin. Instead a swarm of drones had covered me and used their deaths to hide my existence from the beast, sacrificing themselves to ensure that the hive wouldn’t die. At first I had cursed their lack of faith, but I quickly saw how devastating the monster was and how quickly we would be defeated.

I remained under my fallen brothers and sisters until I was sure that the monster was gone, only then did I venture out of my hiding spot to check on Mother. She too was dead, everyling was dead. The only reason I was alive was because of the foresight of my siblings and their sacrifice.

I wasn’t a queen, not yet, but I’d become one sooner if I found a strong source of love. That would present its own issues, I didn’t have any infiltrators to harvest for me yet. I’d need to adapt and learn to survive undetected in pony society until I could begin my own hive and overtake them. Yes, that was the key, more, even more changelings would be needed if we ever hoped to destroy that beast. I could only hope that my aunts would survive until then.

I knew there was only one task left in this hive for me to do, and so I touched my diminutive horn to my mother’s desecrated body and absorbed what little energy remained within it along with that of the hundreds of thousands of dead drones. I grew several inches in the process, but it was the rapid maturity that I sought from this endeavor. No simple nymph could survive on her own, but a deinymph had a chance. The push into the next stage of my life left me weak and fragile as my chitin fell away to reveal my new larger body, but the increase in power was well worth it.

Queen Calyx was dead. Nymph six-three-two was no more. I needed a name to reflect who I was now. My experience with the new threat to our hives had changed me, given me new priorities. I was the next stage in our evolution, the catalyst that would push us into the future. All it took was a broken chunk of my mother’s chitin to catch the dim light in a way that reminded me of a hatched egg to give me my name.

“I am Chrysalis, queen of the future and savior of our race. This world will be mine!” I declared formally, my shout stirring the other nymphs that had survived. No matter, I was destined to kill them anyway. Cruelty and surprise would be my weapons, as the monster had shown their effectiveness against even the might of the hive. There would be no exceptions, not even for my sisters.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I was as far from calm as one could get. I knew who I was going to kill, I just had to hold on until he incriminated himself. Fortunately for my vastly reduced patience, Stupid Rich’s sense of self awareness was as non existent as ever.

“And just what do you think you’re doing with my property?” Rich demanded as he stormed towards us, forcing other ponies out of his way as he went.

“Your property?” I hissed, my blood rapidly starting to boil. Just a little more.

“That’s right. I paid good bits for that husk and I expected it to be delivered by those damnable bugs, not you,” Rich snapped.

“You paid changelings to kill a mother and suck the life out of her child? And then you wanted the remains of the child? Why?” I asked, making sure to highlight everything so one of the town guards could either step in and attempt an arrest or justify staying out of my way.

“Humph, a professional wouldn’t ask questions like that. A stallion’s business is his own,” Rich spat.

“A husk can’t press charges,” I translated, “You disgust me.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, give me my property or I’ll have you arrested,” Rich threatened.

“You publicly engage in abduction, trafficking, and murder, yet think that the law will side with you?” I baited, looking at a few nearby guardsponies. After a moment of discussion amongst themselves, one stepped forward.

“We had to check our books to be sure, every law he should be breaking here says anypony. Legally speaking, you’re withholding his property,” the guard stated, sounding sickened by the act of speaking those words.

“An oversight I will happily abuse. Now, about my bel-” Rich managed before I kicked him into the air and punched him back to earth, making sure to only break a few ribs in the process. I picked him up my his stupid mane and growled in his face.

“I don’t give a FUCK about your stupid FUCKING loophole, you destroyed my FUCKING family you dumb sack of shit. You’re not getting this gryphon or any other, because I FUCKING SLAUGHTERED THOSE BUGS! EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM! But you, you seem to think you’re immune to justice because of how a law is written. You. Are. NOT. ,” I declared furiously before slamming the most evil creature I’d seen in either of my lives into the ground and grabbing a handful of his flesh. Piece after piece, flapping section after section of skin, was torn away, leaving the small crowd that had gathered horrified but unsympathetic to his plight. They knew now what kind of pony he was, this was a punishment well past due.

Rich was still alive when I left him there, twitching and trying to scream without vocal cords. I wasn’t worried about the guards stopping me, they’d all turned away when I struck; feigning ignorance that anything was happening at all.

“Celestia,” I growled, “She’s Frey’s best chance.”

“Canterlot, the new city they’re building up on the mountain,” one of the citizens replied.

“Thank you, but be warned that there are still bugs in this town,” I responded gratefully before pulling the stallion in and giving him the names of those I’d seen entombed within the hive. He nodded when I released him and went running off to mobilize the militia.

I was saddened to leave Ponyville, knowing that it probably wouldn’t be there when I returned, but Freydis was my priority. She had to survive, she had to recover. I’d wasted too much time on vengeance already.


Present Day
Perspective: Jekyll


“One survived out of the millions that they once were, it’s not your fault that they came back. You’ve done more for Equestria than anyone else by eradicating as many of them as you did,” Luna consoled as I slumped against the wall to find the point where I had failed. The queen had shown her face in the bunker, her colors marked her as coming from the Everfree hive. The hive that had taken Sigrid and Freydis. The first hive I had destroyed. This new changeling queen was the daughter of the one that had destroyed my first family on this world.

“Luna, would you call it unethical to hold a child responsible for the actions of their parents? Specifically, is my rage towards this new queen unjustified, given that it’s borne of my hatred for her mother?” I wondered aloud.

“You mean this new queen is from the hive that took Freydis? Oh dear, uh...that’s a hard question, I want to say no but at the same time…” Luna stumbled. I nodded to cut her off before she devolved into rambling, I understood well enough.

“Either way, she’s become a threat that needs killing. Hopefully I can find her before she births an heir,” I commented, putting my hypocrisy aside for the moment.

“It’s been a thousand years, she could have spawned hundreds of other queens by now,” Luna countered worriedly, looking around before remembering that we were inside a walking fortress that was immune to changeling spies.

“How much do you really know about the bugs?” I asked, finding her statement interesting.

“As much as anypony else, not much beyond rumors,” Luna replied, her fear spiking again, “Why? What horrors have you discovered?”

“A changeling queen can only birth one clutch of nymphs in her life, these then kill and eat each other until only one remains. That’s the heir. If the previous queen doesn’t die, the new one will start a new hive and the process begins again. They’re somewhat slow to take new territory, but damn hard to stomp out,” I explained.

“Then how do you know that one is from the same hive as before?” Luna pressed now that her interest had been piqued.

“The queen doesn’t get a new color unless she leaves to start a new hive, this one has the same coloration as the one that drained Frey. She survived my attack and salvaged the remains to start again,” I reasoned.

“And if she does have an heir?” Luna continued.

“Then I’ll devote everything to finding and killing it before it can build another hive and repeat the cycle. Without any queens, they’ll fall into chaos and die on their own,” I replied easily, thinking I had already done this once before. Indeed, they had died out before, the drones withering and dying without orders from their queen. I had just missed one of the queens.

“So what do we do? Can we call in the army?” Luna asked.

“This isn’t their fight, nor is it yours. Go, take Discord, and Chelly if she’s still here, to Canterlot. I have an old war to finish, one last battle to finish what I started,” I instructed quietly, though Luna was already in the process of getting her armor on when I turned to face her, “What are you doing?”

“Go fuck yourself Jay, I’m not going to run and hide at the first sign of danger. We’re a team, we’re supposed to help and support each other through times like this,” Luna argued.

“You can’t be seen at an Allied bunker, that would make it an act of war. Like it or not, you’re a symbol of the Equestrian government and military. Besides, they belong to me,” I responded, growling by the time I finished speaking. These changelings were bold, bold and stupid enough to challenge me directly. They’d pay for that stupidity just like the rest of their species had paid for what they had done to my daughter.

“No,” Luna replied simply, sitting down as though to force her chosen course.

“No?” I challenged, my temper flaring.

“No, I’m not going. I’ll stay aboard Abaddon if I absolutely have to, but I’m not leaving you alone with your inner demons again. Not after you came back from Fillydelphia, I refuse to see you that broken again,” Luna pressed stubbornly.

“I agree with Mistress Luna, she should stay,” Abaddon added, “I’ve already informed Discord that we will be going into battle, he has insisted on remaining as well.”

“Discord can come with me down to the front, you will stay clear of this,” I instructed sternly, though Luna just smiled victoriously.

“Good, I’ll be waiting right here to either congratulate you on a well earned victory or help you through the guilt of killing off an entire species over a crime committed by one who died long before they were born,” Luna snarked, actually making me smile. I was taking this too seriously, it was just a bug hunt. Luna was right, even if she was being a bitch about it.

“You’re right,” I relented, causing Luna’s grin to widen as she stood and walked over to look me in the eye.

“What was that? I didn’t quite catch what you said,” Luna requested, tilting her head to bring her ear closer to my mouth.

“You were right,” I repeated.

“Just...one more time,” Luna pressed, leaning in even further before flinching back quickly, “Ow, no biting.”

“Just practicing,” I lied, earning myself a scornful look as Luna rubbed her ear, “I’m gonna need to be ready to remind these bugs why they should’ve just died a thousand years ago.”

“Doesn’t mean you can practice on me,” Luna protested, “Besides, I don’t get to be right very often, can’t I savor the moment?”

“I’m sorry for that too, I’m just-” I began.

“Stressed over everything that’s going on and trying a bit too hard to be your usual goofy self?” Luna interrupted, “I can see that. I’ll expect your three part apology once this is over, starting with a back massage.”

“You really like those,” I commented.

“And ending with my flight muscles, I assume you can figure out the rest?” Luna finished, tossing me a light glare for interrupting.

“Everything in between and around?” I guessed with a sigh.

“That’s right, I want the bottoms of my hooves as smooth as Abaddon’s ass,” Luna replied, feigning haughtiness.

“I do not possess what you would call an ass, but my backside is covered in hard plates. I wouldn’t call it smooth,” Abaddon chimed in, receiving a fireball to the face of his secondary for his efforts.

“Hold on Abby, we’re discussing terms,” Luna responded without looking away from where she was holding my gaze.

“I have a counteroffer, a day. One full day to ask anything you want of me without any refusal or fear of judgement, so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone,” I countered, making Luna pause as she thought about her options.

“You know I could then use that time to get the exact same massage,” Luna pointed out.

“You could,” I allowed. Luna remained silent until she figured out my real proposal, a day to rest and ignore everything along with a reason we could use to justify it.

“Yes, I think that’ll work wonderfully,” Luna agreed.

“Abaddon, get us moving. I have a war to finish,” I ordered without breaking Luna’s gaze.

“Once more, we go to battle. Once more, my cannons sing the song of war!” Abaddon cheered, his voice echoing through the halls as his bulk pitched and rose sharply.

“I’ll be waiting,” Luna promised as she gestured for me to get moving.

“Just this once, and I’ll be back soon,” I replied, getting a nod before walking out of the room and making my way to the deck to take my place at the front of our assault.

As dramatic as Abaddon was when he felt like it, he was invaluable. His mass was much more than a weapon and mobile home, he was a political statement. Whole nations noticed when he moved, the army held within his bulk more than a match for any of theirs and his cannons were more powerful than their strongest walls. Abaddon was the biggest piece on the board, a visible sign of my presence and the power I could bring to bear on any of them at any time.

But as powerful as Abaddon was, I was the one they feared. I was the one who could send a thousand spies into their offices and factories, I was the one who could kill their leaders without any of them knowing. I had earned that fear though innumerable acts both for and against them, but one faction alone had forgotten. One nation of pests that had neglected the lessons of the past and made an enemy the rest of the world tried to placate.

One nation that was not long for this world.
> Chapter 32: Changing the Records
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Vinyl Scratch


“You awake back there, Vi?” Tavi called from the front of the carriage.

“You know it, got a fresh beat running through my brainy bits and just had to write it down,” I replied with false excitement. I must’ve seemed too cheerful, as Octavia turned to look back at me with her expression speaking volumes about how much she doubted my mood.

“Well, do that and get ready at the same time then. We’re closing in on Ponyville,” Tavi warned, making my blood run cold for a split second. Ponyville, oh how I wished I could close my club there and stay in canterlot. My friends were cool, but having Jekyll and Jeff around all the time killed my vibe.

But even if I could justify closing my club, which I couldn’t, I’d still have to come back with Tavi for her recitals. Missing them wasn’t an option. With a heavy sigh, I set my quill down and slipped my trademark glasses over my eyes. I’d left my shoes on during the trip so I wasn’t worried about tracking them down and getting the hooks back into my hooves. After a moment to think about how paranoid everyone had gotten, I slipped a pair of knee high boots overtop of the steel horseshoes. It would be harder to play off as being for style, but the added security would do wonders for my stress levels.

“Hey,” Tavi whispered, appearing at my side and making me jump.

“Fucking hell Tavi, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days,” I complained as I placed a protective hoof over my chest.

“Worrying about you will give me one first,” Tavi rebutted, “Nopony will think any less of you for stepping out after that monster threatened your equipment, especially not me.”

“It’s just stuff, they know I have more turntables. That’s not why I’m here anyway, we both know I’d never miss one of your shows,” I countered as I reached up and pulled the other mare into a hug, which was reciprocated eagerly for a moment before Tavi pushed me away.

“I know, but what if I asked you to? You hate being in Ponyville, even more so these days, why not sit this one out and let me try to get the shows moved somewhere better for you?” Tavi offered. She squeaked adorably when I leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips, ever uncomfortable with shows of affection.

“Because you love it here, and that matters so much more to me. I’ll just focus on my music until we get to the party, then we’ll deal with Jeffrey,” I replied with a faux grin as I spun a disc on my hoof.

“Vinyl, please take this seriously. Seeing you so anxious just kills me inside, not to mention the risk,” Octavia pleaded.

“Keep your voice down!” I hissed as I covered my marefriend’s mouth, “We don’t talk about that, especially not here where the dirt can listen in.”

Octavia nodded apologetically, prompting me to uncover her mouth and hug her as I prayed nothing came of her slip up. I waited, shivering in fear as I held onto Tavi. Nothing happened, the carriage didn’t explode into the gaping jaws I knew Jeffrey had, the wheels didn’t fall off from enforcers slashing them to stop and interrogate us. Nothing.

“We’re not there yet, I stopped us just outside so we could talk,” Tavi explained, “But I’m sorry for scaring you so much. It’s just that everything is so much worse now that he’s around.”

“Tavi, please stop talking,” I requested, “You’re just freaking me out even more.”

“I’m sorry, but the way Jekyll threatened your equipment just makes me so mad. You don’t mess with a musicians instrument,” Tavi declared with a stomp, prompting me to back away so she could pace angrily.

“At least it’s making the club more popular,” I allowed sourly.

“And that’s forcing us to come down here even more often! Don’t get me wrong, Ponyville is a nice place, but I hate seeing you so anxious,” Tavi nearly shouted.

“There’s nothing we can do about it, we might as well take advantage of the popularity spike. Nopony but you can read my emotions anyway,” I countered.

“And if Jeff catches a loose hair? What then? What if your real name makes it all the way back to your father? How will he react? Sorry. Sorry. I’m getting worked up again,” Tavi apologized once she saw me starting to hyperventilate.

What if he had me killed? What if he went after Tavi too? What if he set out to make me kill myself by burning down all of my clubs during peak party hours and trapping thousands of ponies inside? Tavi and I had a charity event next week, there would be dozens of orphans in the crowd. What if he already knew where I was and planned to kill them instead?

Tavi’s sudden hug helped, but she still had to help me down when my legs gave out under me. Her natural earth pony strength, built up over years of keeping up with me and carrying her cello, made it easy for her to pick me up and carry my curled form to the only bed in the small carriage. Tavi silently climbed onto the bed next to me and held me to her chest until my panic attack faded.

“Tavi?” I whispered as I felt my legs relax and start to uncurl.

“Just breathe Vi, it’ll all be okay. I was just being stupid,” Tavi cooed gently.

“I think I’m alright now. Thanks for being here, I don’t know how I’d get by without you,” I commented quietly.

“The same way you did before we met?” Tavi guessed, making me chuckle sadly.

“I cried all the time and wore a burlap sack as a hood so nopony could see my eyes. I didn’t get by,” I replied uselessly, Tavi knew the state I was in when we met. I pulled off my glasses and turned them around so I could look into the heavily tinted lenses before cradling my most prized possession to my chest.

“They’re starting to get pretty beat up, I’ll have to get you a new set soon,” Tavi appraised. I smiled at her implied joke. Tavi wasn’t poor by any stretch, but my clubs pulled in way more bits every night than she made in a month. I could buy a new set of glasses every day if I wanted, but these were special. These glasses were the start of our friendship, the first act of kindness that sparked a musical duo for the ages.

“I wouldn’t wear them,” I replied softly, “I’ll get these repaired and enchanted and whatever else I can do to make them last forever instead.”

“Three bits at a random stand in Hoofington, who knew a defective set of tinted sunglasses would mean so much,” Tavi laughed.

“They were your last three bits, that’s why they mean so much,” I reminded the mare. We had this same conversation every time I had a panic attack, Tavi would only play dumb to make me remember that I wasn’t alone anymore. That she cared.

“I dread the day you’ve decided that you’ve paid me back,” Tavi joked, breaking our usual tradition.

“I’m not that shallow Tavi, I pay you for your performances in my clubs because they pull in customers. Just like everypony else,” I retorted.

“You didn’t buy Sapphire Shores a self propelled carriage,” Tavi pointed out.

“I’m not sleeping with Sapphire Shores either,” I countered, making Tavi blush, “I’m not your meal ticket Tavi, I’m your marefriend. I just wish I was strong like you.”

“Strong? Vi, you’re the only non earth pony I know that can pick me up. Well, aside from Bulk, but he doesn’t count,” Tavi argued.

“Next you’re going to tell me you were powerless against that worm of a producer,” I deadpanned.

“He was a unicorn, how was I supposed to fight back against magic?” Tavi protested.

“The same way I did?” I offered.

“I guess, but I don’t think I would’ve killed him,” Tavi allowed.

“How long are you going to bug me about that?” I complained, “Even the guards said it was an accident and self defense, nopony could’ve known he’d trip and hit his desk like that.”

“I know, but you’re adorable when you squirm,” Tavi teased as her hoof brushed over my cutie mark, the light touch making me shiver. I usually hated it when ponies touched me, but I made an exception for Tavi. She was the only one I actually liked being in contact with.

“Careful Tavi, you’re pressing some buttons while I’m emotionally vulnerable. Any more and you might do some serious damage by backing out,” I warned as I reached over Tavi to set my glasses on the nightstand.

“Now what kind of marefriend would I be if I did something that mean?” Tavi purred as she nuzzled into my neck, giving me the perfect angle to nibble on her ear the way she liked. She’d played more than one show with one ear tinted an angry red, though most ponies agreed that those were her best performances.

“Thanks Tavi, thanks for being my friend,” I whispered as Tavi kissed her way up my neck. I felt all of my stresses and fears melt away with each kiss, replaced by the love I felt for the one I’d chosen to spend my life with. It would seem Tavi felt the same way, it wasn’t usually like her to be so assertive.

“Is that all we are?” Tavi asked when she finished mapping the line of my jaw and let me roll her over to take my turn warming her up.

“No, but you’re still my best friend,” I replied between kisses.

Things continued to get more and more heated until a knock at the rear door of our carriage interrupted us, causing Tavi and I to tangle and fall off the low bed as we scrambled to make ourselves decent before the door could be opened. Tavi made it to her hooves first and giggled as she moved to poke her head out the door, keeping it as closed as possible to keep me hidden as I pawed at her hind legs.

“Trixie… I saw your carriage, is everything alright?” a mare’s voice asked, correcting herself mid-sentence.

“Oh yes, just resting before my performance tonight,” Tavi lied.

“Taaaaaviiiii, tell her to fuck off and come baaaack!” I whined piteously, causing Octavia to go white with embarrassment.

“Dammit Vi,” Tavi sighed after fixing me with a glare and turning back to whoever had interrupted us, “Sorry about her, she’s… obnoxious sometimes.”

“Tixie understands-I understand, I’m working on a similar issue myself. Good luck on your performance, I hope to see you around sometime,” Trixie replied.

“You could always travel with us, start a little convoy into Ponyville,” Tavi offered, causing me to groan loudly in frustration. Why was my marefriend so nice?

“I’m never going to that place again, they hate me and I can’t look at him without almost passing out. I’m actually travelling around the town on my way to Canterlot,” Trixie responded sourly.

“Could you excuse us for one second?” Tavi requested before moving away from the door and dragging me to my hooves, “She could be your way out Vi, you could hitch a ride with this Trixie mare back to Canterlot.”

“I also could’ve stayed there, I’m coming with you because my favorite place is by your side,” I countered.

“Dammit Vi,” Tavi repeated, “It won’t be the end of the world if you miss one of my performances.”

“It sounds like you don’t want me around anymore,” I whimpered piteously.

“Vinyl,” Tavi warned.

“Fine! Go play your stupid chello, I hope they arrange you so you won’t be able to see my empty seat,” I snapped as I turned away from Tavi and sat on the other end of the carriage, though that was only about four feet away.

“Vinyl Scratch, how long have we been together?” Tavi demanded.

“Eight years, three months, and twelve days,” I answered easily before noticing Tavi’s look and adding, “Yes, I do in fact count the days.”

“That’s only a little obsessive. Anyway, how many shows have I played in that time? Nevermind, I’m sure you’ve counted those too. What would your percentage be if you missed one? Ninety-nine point nine nine repeating? Hoofball players everywhere would kill for an average that high,” Tavi argued.

“I don’t care. Even if Jeff makes me so uncomfortable that I get sick, I’ll hold my lunch through your whole recital anyway,” I declared adamantly.

“I’d call you crazy and leave you on the side of the road if that wasn’t sweet, in your weird way of being sweet. But I still don’t think you need to torture yourself for me,” Tavi acknowledged, her gaze faltering with her arguments.

“Torture? Please, your blanket hogging is worse than this,” I joked, getting a blank stare in return.

“Vinyl,” Tavi began flatly as she picked up my glasses and held them out for me, “Go be social while I get the carriage running, but next time you’re staying home.”

“No promises on that,” I chuckled as I slipped my glasses on and added a winning smile before hopping out of the cart. A light blue mare sat in the street with her gave locked on a piece of scrap paper held in her hoof.

“Are you Vinyl Scratch?” the pony asked without looking up.

“Are you being serious?” I countered, matching her tone.

“Hmm?” Trixie murmured as she finally looked up, saw my trademark digs, and promptly facehoofed, “Of course I run into another famous pony, as though there wasn’t enough evidence that I’m a failure.”

“That sucks, so why are you still dragging that cart around if you’ve stopped trying?” I asked.

“What?” Trixie stumbled, caught off guard by my question.

“My definition of failure is to stop trying, something Tavi taught me when we first met. You can’t be a failure if you don’t give up,” I advised.

“You’re right, I’ve just been trying to do the wrong thing. Come on then Vinyl, let’s get you to Canterlot,” Trixie declared.

“Um, no,” I replied flatly as I turned back to find our carriage rolling away towards Ponyville, “Dammit Tavi! I’ll get you for this!”

“So can we go now?” Trixie asked hopefully, “Octavia’s letter mentioned payment for escorting you.”

I looked to the note in Trixie’s hoof and scowled, unwilling to budge a single inch away from Ponyville. My pride had been challenged and I would answer this call. I ignored Trixie’s protests as I stomped towards the town, at least until she grabbed my hips.

“Let go of me,” I warned quietly, the barely contained rage in my voice enough for the unicorn to get the hint and remove her hooves from my flanks.

“I’m sorry, but I need this. If Octavia gives me a job doing effects for her orchestra, I’ll finally be able to make a name for myself,” Trixie pleaded.

“Sucks to be you, I’m following my marefriend,” I replied as I cantered away. Again, Trixie tried to stop me, this time by grabbing my tail with her magic.

“Pl-” Trixie managed before I rounded on her and vented my frustrations.

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME,  I hate being touched. I don’t know how much clearer I can be. I want you to do well, but I’m not going to let you stop me either. I’m going to Ponyville, and that’s final,” I declared.

“But-but-” Trixie stuttered, looking to be on the verge of tears.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my muzzle, knowing I was about to be far too nice, “Jekyll isn’t there Trixie, he left.”

“What? How could you know that?” Trixie demanded, her astonishment overriding her fear.

“That giant thing next to the town is gone, all the papers say it’s his home. So it would stand to reason that the only reason the giant is gone is if Jekyll left too,” I explained slowly.

“I guess that makes sense,” Trixie allowed, “So what then, you expect me to follow you to Ponyville and then turn around to take you back to Canterlot?”

“I don’t expect you to do anything, I can take care of myself,” I replied with a shrug before turning to walk away again. I actually made it a decent distance this time before Trixie caught up with me, cart and all.

“So are we friends now or something?” Trixie asked casually, as though trying to pass the time.

“I only have two friends, one I live with and another that didn’t give me a choice, everypony else is a business relationship,” I responded.

“Sounds lonely... I can relate, I don’t have any friends,” Trixie commented.

“Hmm,” I grunted quietly before falling silent.

“You seem a lot happier onstage,” Trixie continued.

“I’m only happy onstage, with Tavi, or when I’m writing a new song. Everything else is just a chore,” I replied.

“That sounds dull. What about practicing magic? That always cheers me up,” Trixie suggested, making me scowl again.

“I don’t like to talk about it,” I snapped harshly, though Trixie either didn’t notice my tone or willfully ignored it.

“Talk about what? Did you have a bad teacher?” Trixie guessed.

“I don’t have any magic to practice, this thing on my head is as useless as teats on a stallion,” I revealed, making Trixie gasp in horror.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Can I ask what happened?” Trixie apologized.

“Nothing happened, I’ve always been like this. Tavi will tell you the same thing, I’m an earth pony with a horn,” I spat angrily as I looked into the dust of the road.

“I’ll shut up now if you want, but I have one last question. Why are you being so nice to me?” Trixie asked, actually halting me as my head swiveled up to stare at the mare.

“Nice? You call my attitude being nice? I’ve barely tolerated you,” I pointed out.

“But you have tolerated me, I’m not used to that,” Trixie confessed, reminding me of my own time as a vagabond and recluse.

“I do want you to stop talking, but there’s something you should hear,” I began as I started walking again, “Tavi and I, we weren’t always super cool music masters. She was a starving artist in Hoofington and I was a homeless thief that didn’t know what kindness was. She bought me these glasses with her last three bits for no reason other than that she saw me covering my eyes when ponies got too close.”

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” Trixie asked.

“They’re red, most ponies think I’m a vampony or something when they see me without my glasses. Anyhow, we became friends pretty quickly and recorded a duet on impulse. We got lucky and it was a hit, netting us enough bits for me to give up stealing food and start thinking of business plans. I came up with an awesome idea for a dance club and Tavi threw her share in to back me up, things just kind of snowballed from there,” I continued.

“One friend was all it took for all of that to happen? I never realized how important friends were,” Trixie commented, “Wait, does that mean Octavia gets half of all the proceeds from your clubs?”

“Just the one in Hoofington, the rest are all mine. I reinvested as much as possible to expand the club scene in Equestria, Tavi puts hers into a scholarship fund to help ponies like us get into music school. She hasn’t needed to worry about bits since she was asked to join the orchestra anyway, not that I wouldn’t give her my last horseshoe,” I corrected.

“You seem really attached to her, but your story makes you seem more like equals. What aren’t you telling me?” Trixie pressed suspiciously.

“Nothing sinister. I told you she was my marefriend, I wasn’t kidding about that. I’d cut out my own heart if she needed a new one, I love her that much,” I sighed as thoughts of our time together drifted through my mind.

“So why did she leave you behind?” Trixie continued.

“I’m curious about that as well,” Jeffrey added from my other side, his effeminate voice smooth enough to avoid startling me as I turned to look at the vaguely pony shaped mass of disjointed bones and eyes that glided along the ground beside me.

“Because you freak me out,” I replied, though not maliciously.

“I’m still working on looking more approachable,” Jeffrey responded apologetically, “Or did you mean that fear about me accidentally telling your parents?”

“Your parents?” Trixie repeated.

“Let’s just say that I never even considered going back home, not even when I was starving to death,” I replied curtly.

“I wouldn’t bother dear, I’ve been trying for ages and I haven’t been able to get any more than that,” Jeffrey added when Trixie opened her mouth to speak, prompting the unicorn to close it without saying anything, “Are you sure they’re still alive?”

“Yep, I keep an ear to the rumors,” I allowed.

Trixie finally decided to honor her promise to stay quiet while she digested what I had said and figured out how to apply the lessons I had learned into her own life, at least I hoped that’s what she was doing. Jeffrey just seemed content to follow along in silence.

We were almost to the first structures when Trixie spoke up again, though by this point I welcomed the distraction, “Are boots back in style?”

“I don’t follow fashion trends, I make them,” I boasted.

“Vinyl’s hatred of being touched includes me,” Jeffrey corrected, causing me to grumble petulantly and Trixie to giggle.

“Yeah… I don’t like being touched,” I confessed.

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed,” Trixie snarked, her voice dripping with enough sarcasm to fill a swimming pool.

“That does raise a question I’ve had for a long time, how did you know to put on hoofwear before I was made public?” Jeffrey asked.

“You’ve got it backwards. I was putting on shoes and boots because I was getting anxious in town, I knew why after we met,” I replied, getting a nod from the leviathan.

“A gut feeling then. Or maybe you’re a rogue spying on the town for Dopple,” Jeffrey teased, making Trixie look over in surprise, “Of course, my father’s creations all have red eyes, I could dismiss those possibilities quite easily.”

“Don’t be an ass Jeff, you know how self conscious I am about my eyes. Learning that his… things had the same eye color only made it worse,” I complained.

“Vinyl? He’s joking right? That’s not really a thing, is it?” Trixie asked fearfully as she shifted a half step away from me.

“Both are quite true. I cannot confirm that Vinyl isn’t a rogue because she won’t let me take a sample, but all bioforms have red eyes unless otherwise altered by Jekyll himself,” Jeffrey confirmed.

“It’s also a natural pony eye color, just really rare,” I added quickly before Trixie could run herself off the road.

“Oh geez, why’d you two have to say that? Now I’m gonna be all freaked out for the rest of the trip,” Trixie whined as she slowly eased back in.

“Oh please, I’m not a monster. I make music for crying out loud. I have a marefriend that I love. Back me up here Jeff, is my love for Tavi in dispute?” I demanded, getting pretty tired of these accusations.

“No,” Jeffrey answered instantly, his tone making it clear that the answer was obvious.

“And can enforcers feel love?” I pressed.

“No,” Jeffrey repeated with the same inflection, “You’ve also been around since before Dopple went rogue, ruling you out as being a spy. I’m sorry for pushing you this far, that was wrong for me to do.”

“Do you even care about rogues anyway? I saw Dopple in my club and talking to your father just a few days ago, where was your paranoia then?” I continued angrily, just to drive the point home.

“A fair point, I won’t push the issue again,” Jeffrey promised defensively.

“Damn right you won’t, because I am a pony! Got it?” I finished, my anger fizzling out as I vented the last of it, “I’m sorry, to both of you. I’ve been so angry this entire trip that I’ve forgotten my manners.”

“We understand Vinyl, you said yourself that Ponyville makes you nervous. Do you feel better at least?” Trixie asked.

“I think I do, yeah,” I replied.

That’s good, I’m glad I could help. That’s what friends are for, right?” Trixie commented with a smile. I huffed in amusement at that as I looked between her and Jeffrey, realizing that I had made a couple friends today despite my poor attitude.


Perspective Change: Jeffrey
Ponyville Leviathan


Vinyl and Trixie continued making conversation as we walked, though I only listened for my name and to monitor their tone. My mind was largely occupied with the comings and goings off all the other inhabitants of the town, though a small section was reserved to investigate Vinyl’s choice of words whenever it wasn’t trying to pick out tablecloth colors with Lyra.

‘And can enforcers feel love?’ she had asked. Enforcers. The use of that word to describe my smaller siblings was almost exclusive to ourselves, to the point that she must have heard it from someone within our ranks. She lived primarily in Canterlot, I would have the search begin there. I had to know where Vinyl had heard that term, I could only hope that her source was already a known rogue and one of the less violent ones.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Abaddon, Northern Badlands


What insanity was this?

To stay undetected by even my forces for centuries, then appear out of nowhere with the military might to take a key strategic bunker. That part made sense. But why in every conceivable hell would they then stay at that bunker when they knew I was coming?

The bugs stood in the open, their queen at the front as though to challenge me. A foolish show of defiance that didn’t make any tactical sense. I contemplated what to do as Abaddon walked the last few steps, finally deciding to humor the insect for a time.

“This looks like a trap,” Discord commented, appearing at my side silently. His usual attitude replaced with a grim expression. I understood his lack of enthusiasm, he didn’t like death.

“Clearly, but why make it so obvious?” I wondered before everything clicked. I was supposed to attack them on sight, which would kill the representatives and trigger the war before the defenses were finished. No, that was too simple as well.

What was this bug planning?

“Stop,” I ordered, brining Abaddon to a halt far short of his optimal positioning. Nothing could be chanced, the ground ahead could’ve been hollowed out and filled with the Alliance’s stockpile of Cure.

“A pitfall?” Tzu guessed, “A hard enough stomp would probably reveal any traps like that.”

“Enough for ground troops to be safe, make it happen,” I replied, feeling the deck tilt sharply until only Abaddon’s rearmost legs were on the ground. The colossal impact shook the air and knocked nearly all of the changelings off their hooves, the resulting earthquake flatting several sand dunes around the small valley. No traps made themselves known.

“Shall I continue?” Abaddon asked.

“How are your fields of fire?” I countered.

“Sufficient for a fight, but less than ideal. Dedicated shooters on my sides and back should make up the difference,” Abaddon answered, getting a nod of approval from Tzu.

“Take the Romeos, all of them. Keep the Gammas in reserve for now but make sure they’re set for rapid deployment… Actually, give me three squads to approach with,” I ordered.

“I’ll stay here and run interference if they try anything,” Discord offered, getting a thankful nod as well. I couldn’t expect him to take changeling lives, but disrupting their magic was more than helpful.

The squads I had requested met me on the ground, and I found it interesting to see Gamma One at the lead. Command squads didn’t enter combat often, finding it more efficient to stick to the logistical side. That said, Gamma One came with an infamous, red skinned enforcer that I was glad to have by my side.

“No killing until I make a move,” I instructed, keeping my eyes on Fang as I spoke.

“Evil,” Fang growled quietly.

“Don’t worry, I will be making a move. I just want to know why they’re making it easy for us,” I reassured the maniac.

“Figured that would be the plan,” Gamma One-One commented, “I’m curious myself.”

“Keep it tight, no unnecessary risks. We can’t be sure there aren’t rogues mixed into their ranks. Fang, you’ll work with me and prioritize the elimination of any rogue enforcers,” I ordered, getting nods and calls of understanding from the Gammas along with an elated snarl from the only insane one.

Fang fell into place behind my right shoulder as the three squads took up position for our approach. Gamma One watched my back while the other two spread out to either side. Eighteen enforcers, with another million and a leviathan in reserve, waited for my signal to attack, each and every one of them built and bred with a hatred for these insectile quadrupeds. They should’ve stayed in whatever gutter they crawled out of.

The queen didn’t show any fear as I calmly walked right up to her and fixed her with a glare that would’ve given anything else a heart attack.

“We meet again, monster,” the queen greeted.

“Parasite,” I replied with a nod.

“You killed my mother,” the queen stated simply.

“She tried to kill my daughter. She lived by the way. My kid, not your mom,” I countered, adding the clarification to salt the wound.

“You’ll still pay for what you did to my family,” the bug spat.

“I doubt that, because I have every intention of finishing what I started and driving you extinct,” I responded.

“Then why haven’t you?” the queen baited.

“Curiosity of all things, I want to know why you’re here waiting for us instead of scampering away like the cockroaches you are,” I replied, finding no harm in allowing the doomed insect to have that bit of information.

“A test, I wanted to see if all that sludge I’ve been forcing my changelings to eat will grant us immunity to your attacks,” the drone replied. I smirked as I saw their full plan, they thought we were still at the level I had spent almost all of my time at. They thought we were only capable of melee combat. Were that the case, it wouldn’t do any harm to tell me their plans. I was supposed to be trapped, my pride keeping me from leaving and their chemical warfare tactic making me unable to kill them without sacrificing large numbers of my troops.

“I understand now, you left this drone in your guise to get me down here. That’s more like the changelings I exterminated. Shame it won’t help you, we’ve evolved past that point,” I reasoned before pulling one of my spike pistols and shooting the ‘queen’ right between the eyes, forcing the drone to return to its normal size as it died.

Abaddon’s cannons roared their fury as my guards charged, spike rifles forming and firing into the enemy line as they moved. Abaddon’s shots appeared to be going high until they unfolded into winged enforcers that unleashed hell on any changelings that tried to escape through flight.

I had none of the battle as I walked through it, my only contribution being to slap away any bugs that got too close. Fang remained at my side, his eyes alert and watchful for any rogues. I could only assume that they were more fun to fight than the easily killed changelings.

Massive columns of flame erupted along the fringes of the changeling swarm as Abaddon switched to killing them directly and funneling them into the spike munitions of the enforcers. The sheer number of changelings would cause this mockery of a battle to take hours, or even prove moderately challenging if they got organized and pushed back, but to me it was boring. I had hoped for more when I saw them.

“Disappointing,” Fang growled as we neared the bunker.

“I agree, hopefully the inside will be full of them. They’re more difficult in a confined space,” I replied as I found the door to the interior of the bunker and tore it out of the wall. Just as I had hoped, the bunker was crawling with insects; all of which were now staring at us in surprise, “There are three here that aren’t bugs, I want them alive.”

That was all I needed to say for Fang to launch himself into the mass of changelings, heedless of any danger they may have posed. Given by how he was biting them in half as well as slashing gleefully, their foray into consuming the cure had yielded negligible results. I could’ve told them that if they weren’t life ruining vampires. My other hand found one of my other spike pistols as I moved to wander down the first hallway I saw, both pistols spitting death as I kicked the door down. Hallway by hallway, room by room, I cleared sections of the bunker with an impassiveness unimaginable by anyone who hadn’t seen death on the scale of the old wars.

I found Fang guarding a seemingly random room after roughly an hour, looking torn between protecting whatever was inside and charging off to butcher more bugs. I touched his shoulder when I reached the door, signaling that he was free to slaughter once more.

“Please...no more...it hurts,” a pained voice whimpered as I broke the lock and forced the door open.

“All of you are to come with me, you will be returned to your governments after I am sure none of you are changelings or otherwise under their control,” I instructed as I holstered my weapons, eliciting cries of gratitude from the survivors.

“I thank you creature, my name is-” a large minotaur began before I cut him off.

“Regnot He’tag’nah, the representative from Minos. It was not an accident that one of my best had a disguise from both your region and clan. I am Jekyll, as all of you should know,” I responded, adding some force to my voice to silence the minotaur before he could start with his usual bluster, “I assume the injured one is Felix Sharptalon?”

“That bug… it did things to him. Kahira too, she disappeared after a few hours though. Good on her if she escaped, but I’m fairly certain she’s dead,” Regnot explained, “The rest here are the remaining staff, Kahira is the only one missing.”

My count matched his tale, every non-enforcer staff member was here with the exception of the zebra delegate. That was problematic, I had hoped rescuing all of them would make them reconsider their war.

“I’ll have the facility and surrounding area searched until we find her,” I promised as I moved aside and gestured towards the doorway. The staff members nearly trampled each other in their desperate bid for escape, though Regnot remained behind in an effort to help Felix, “I’ll take him, I need to provide care anyway.”

“Our rumors about you are confusing and conflicting. Some say you are a ruthless killer, others claim you to be a doctor of the highest degree. Which is it?” Regnot asked as he allowed me to take his friend and carry the limp gryphon under my arm.

“Both, depending on how you treat the people I care about,” I replied as I examined the cause of Felix’s pain. Even if I ignored the way his legs were folded, the signals along his spine gave me a path to follow back to the source. His loins had been permanently damaged due to a forcible removal of all genetic material, leaving him sterile in the most agonizing way possible. He’d been used to breed an army. Puncture marks in his neck and the general degradation of his body would suggest that he’d also been drugged into producing more material for the changeling queen to harvest, far more than his body was able to safely produce.

“Will he make it?” Regnot asked when my expression darkened.

“It’s rare to see a male rape victim, much more so when the assailant is a female. This may be beyond me, the damage to his internal organs is extensive and I haven’t studied how his body works when healthy. At best, he’ll be in my care for days or weeks as I tune his biochemistry and return it to its normal levels,” I responded clinically.

“Thank you again, I will never forget this,” Regnot swore as he moved to walk beside me. I recalled that Felix was his only friend, mentally rereading every report I’d gotten about the two. They were closer to brothers by this point, and Regnot was visibly distraught by the sight of Felix.

We found Fang leading the other survivors towards Abaddon while the Gamma squads formed a line and shielded them from any changeling retaliation. I noted the curious attitude he was showing the gryphons and minotaurs, one of concern and care instead of his usual mania. I wondered for a moment if the favored enforcer he used to be was returning, though those hopes vanished when he turned the survivors over to another enforcer and ran screaming into the remnants of the swarm. I watched his progress via the geyser of green blood and severed pieces for a moment as I walked, somewhat saddened by his short lived lucidity.

“That’s the one, isn’t it? The one that broke the caribou?” Regnot asked fearfully.

“They forgot, and paid for their negligence in blood,” I replied.

“What did they forget?” Regnot asked, not understanding.

“They forgot what happens when you challenge me,” I elaborated.

“Minos has a longer memory, even if we don’t realize it at times, I will speak to our king about this. If the rescue of our people isn’t enough, I can only hope that the threat of this will make him see reason,” Regnot responded seriously as he gestured to the living wall of enforcers that were still killing changelings in droves.

“If he could read world politics, he’d have withdrawn already. My army is vast and elite, siding with me in all things. I like Equestria the way it is right now, therefore my army will seek to keep it that way. Just because I haven’t officially sided with them doesn’t mean I won’t, the possibility has always been there,” I warned, seeking to give Regnot more talking points for later.

The large minotaur fell silent and nodded as he considered my words, caught between wanting what was best for his people, the will of his government, and his gratitude towards me for rescuing him and Felix. After a moment, he walked away to join the other survivors as Abaddon closed in and crouched above them. The large scales of my leviathan’s underbelly parted as the staging area opened to allow the assembled species to walk aboard with their enforcer escort. I spotted Tzu at the other end of the ramp, waiting to brief them on our rules and get them settled into their new rooms.

The enforcers neither needed me here nor wanted me to put myself in danger to help them, as evidenced by the way Gamma One-One kept looking at me impatiently between putting spikes through the panicked changelings.

I nodded my understanding when he looked again and started towards the ramp, handing the desecrated gryphon over to a pair of enforcers once I was aboard. They would be the ones to oversee his recovery, though I was his official doctor now. I’d check on Felix once he returned from surgery and woke up, but my interactions would be minimal.

With little else to do until the fight was over, I walked back up to the deck and sat above Abaddon’s head to watch the extermination. I noted how Abaddon’s blasts were pressing closer in, funneling the changelings into the wall of enforcers and incinerating those on the fringes. It was a tactic clearly based on how he had herded the spiders, though much more refined now that the enforcers were better trained and less reliant on their supposed invulnerability. They worked well together.

“You seem bored,” Discord commented as he made himself known.

“Not so much bored as disappointed, I was really hoping for more out of this. It wasn’t even a proper trap, just a test to see if they could create a hazard for us. I’m also concerned that they can throw away this many drones on a test, the changeling army must be larger than anything we’ve ever seen,” I corrected.

“That is pretty concerning,” Discord agreed, though I remained staring past the battle and off into the distance.

“I need a wall,” I commented, drawing my sword and cutting open a portal as Abaddon reshaped his flesh to accommodate my wishes. Reaching through, I retrieved a bottle of ancient liquor so old that not even I knew what it was anymore and two glasses. Discord looked over curiously as I poured the priceless alcohol into the two cups and set the bottle down.

“I don’t drink except at parties,” Discord stated, though he reached for the glass anyway in an effort to be polite.

“It’s not for you,” I replied, causing the draconequus to pull his talon away sharply.

“Catrix said something about this ritual of yours. It’s for the dead, right?” Discord confirmed.

“Yep,” I responded simply as I dumped the contents of the glass into my mouth and poured another.

“Any reason why? Surely they didn’t all drink,” Discord continued, though his tone was one of curiosity rather than disrespect.

“It’s a symbol that they aren’t forgotten, it was a somewhat common thing on my world,” I answered.

“I like it, mind if I started doing the same thing?” Discord asked genuinely.

“For your people? I’d be honored,” I allowed with a sad smile as I downed my second glass. Discord summoned another pair of glasses and a bottle, setting his drink for the fallen next to mine as he drowned his sorrows.

The battle was long over and the sun had gone down before I said the usual rites and dumped the glass over the side to soak into the sand, Discord clumsily mimicking my actions as he did his best to learn the ritual while drunk. I’d held back this time and had skipped trying to forget before listing off every one of my failures as a leader, causing Discord’s eyes to grow wider with every name and description I gave. He tried his best to repeat that part, but didn’t have my memory. His frustration had built until I placed a calming hand on his shoulder and nodded, they knew he still cared.

Discord cried as he set his people’s glass down. There was no shame in it, this was a memorial, a time for mourning, and he had felt the need to vent. I simply gripped his shoulder a little tighter as he let it out, soon feeling his lion paw rest on my fingers in gratitude.

When Discord finally recovered, he looked at me and nodded his thanks before snapping his talon and vanishing. There was no judgement from me, I wanted to be alone as well. Though there was one individual that I would be happy to have sit next to me instead, and she had been watching in silence for well over an hour.

“Thanks for that Luna, he needed the silence,” I called without looking back.

“I saw. Maybe I should adopt your tradition as well, it might do well to bring everyone together,” Luna commented quietly.

“Everyone has lost someone, taking a moment to remember them can never be a bad thing,” I allowed solemnly.

“You don’t include your family, your real family,” Luna noted.

“Dunno if their dead,” I replied.

“It’s been a thousand years,” Luna pointed out.

“I’m in a different dimension, time could be moving differently,” I countered.

“I suppose that’s fair, but you still lost them. Would you want to talk about that? Cat has a theory that you were an uncle there, she thinks that’s why you prefer that title here,” Luna proposed.

“It is,” I answered simply, catching the alicorn off guard with my candor.

“Oh, well that was much easier than I was expecting,” Luna commented before regaining her composure, “From a brother or sister?”

“Brother, couple years older. He found himself a girl way too good for him about ten years before I got sent here. She wasn’t as good lookin’ as you, but she had the patience to deal with both of our antics and the cooking skill to tame a hydra. Her parents weren’t thrilled with Mark, but nobody really gave a shit. They were perfect for each other. Mark had joined the army before they got married and had a new baby to come back to by the time he got back from the war,” I revealed, more for myself than Luna at this point. It had been a long time since I thought about Mark or Kristen.

“Sounds perfect,” Luna appraised.

“HA! No fucking way. I had to change jobs and move closer to them to help out. Kristen, or Kris as we called her, had some health problems and couldn’t do a lot of normal things. She needed someone around who could mow the grass and pick up her son. She had a minor case of Spinal Muscular Atrophy and her muscles barely functioned as a result. She could get around just fine, but that was about it,” I chuckled, remembering all the things I found myself doing for the couple when Mark was away.

“What about her family? Or the rest of yours? Where were they?” Luna asked in confusion.

“Kris’s family sucked, Mark and I didn’t have one. It was always just the two of us until Kris joined the party. Didn’t you ever wonder why I hate religions so much? Mark and I grew up in a religious orphanage, we had to deal with stuck up nuns and shit every day. Just thinking about it makes me remember all the times I’ve been beaten with a yardstick. Getting out of there was a blessing,” I replied.

“What about that game you played with Freydis? You said your father taught you how to play,” Luna pointed out.

“I lied to her to make her feel more like we were a real family. She needed it and it was close enough to the truth. Mark taught me that game and our father taught him, he was old enough to know them before they died,” I explained, wincing as I realized I had never told Freydis the truth about that.

“Do you need to stop? I feel like I’m opening old wounds at this point,” Luna asked gently.

“I can’t mourn people I never knew,” I responded simply.

“Either way, I think that’s enough. Maybe someday we’ll figure out how to open doors to other worlds so you can visit them. Maybe we’ll happen across a world where your parents survived and you never had to deal with any ‘nuns’,” Luna suggested as she guided me to my feet and led my inside the massive creature we called our home. I couldn’t help realizing the scale of where I was now compared to my origins, just the thought of it brought a smile to my face. Anyone who had told me I’d marry a princess and live inside a giant monster would’ve been met with accusations that they had either read too many comic books or done a lot of drugs.

“You would’ve liked Mark and Kris, they were the type to accept everyone,” I commented idly as we walked.

“I can, just dream of them tonight and I’ll visit to introduce myself to my in-laws,” Luna replied with an easy smile.

“It’s after midnight, isn’t it? Sorry for keeping you up with my rambling,” I apologized.

“I’m not complaining, getting to learn more about you and your life is always a treat,” Luna rebutted with a shake of her head to dismiss the apology.

“The feeling is mutual,” I replied as we reached our door and Luna pushed it open.

“I’m not in the mood for sex anyway, so let’s just go to bed,” Luna stated as she walked over and waited for me to get settled in before taking her place. Luna had gradually been switching her preference of which side she preferred to sleep on, going from the side of the bed touching the wall to the one closer to the door. This meant I had to get into bed first unless she wanted me to crawl over her. Once I had slipped out of my armor, we set about getting settled in and comfortable. Luna shuffled around a bit before finally setting her head on my neck and falling asleep in my arms almost instantly.

I remained awake for a few more minutes, thinking about Earth and everything I had left behind, before finally relaxing and willing myself to sleep.

I found myself sitting in an empty field for as far as I could see, with my only company being the gently undulating ground below me. I knew I was asleep, my dreams had always been some variation of this place whenever I forced myself into slumber. There was one change I found interesting, I wasn’t my normal self.

I held up my hands to inspect them, my eyes tracing the old features that I hadn’t expected to see again. I checked to see if everything else had changed too and discovered that my mind had clothed me in the style I wore the day I was taken. From my ratty sneakers to that same leather jacket that started all of this, my body was human again.

“Nope,” I declared as my body pulsed and returned to some semblance of my new normal. I retained my old bodystyle and clothing, but regained my coloration and tendrils. I wondered about this sudden failure to control my appearance for a brief moment before a pair of arms snaked over my shoulders to hug me from behind.

“Hey you,” Luna greeted as she nuzzled my neck. I reached up to hold her neck as I waited for her to finish so I could turn in her grip and see why she had arms. When I did, I discovered her to be the same as when she had been affected by the Poison Joke and I had helped fix her appearance. She’d misplaced the extra weight in her backside though.

“Why the change?” I asked curiously as I returned her hug and let her push me onto my back.

“My magic works the same here if I want it to, so I can practice spells on myself without doing any harm. I finally got this one right,” Luna explained happily.

“Do you have a way to change back?” I asked as I noted her lack of a horn. Luna giggled and brought her furred hand around to reveal the swirling lines on her jet black fingernails. They glowed with her usual blue aura a moment later, answering my question, “Impressive, have you told Twilight about your findings? She’ll probably want to write a book about it.”

“Self transmutation is incredibly dangerous, it isn’t something to be widely known,” Luna countered, “I tore myself apart sixty times, and that’s only counting tonight. No, this is just for you and I to share.”

“It would be incredibly hypocritical of me to lecture you about keeping secrets,” I allowed.

With little warning, Luna pushed herself up and sprang to her feet as she jumped back to give me a full view of her. I pushed myself up onto my elbows as she showed off her work, flexing each finger one by one and presenting her range of motion, “So, what do you think?”

I eyed her critically as I climbed to my feet and walked around her, periodically moving her limbs to check every inch of her altered body. Luna flinched when I touched her armpits or the bottoms of her feet, showing that she had the same ticklish spots as a human.

“Your hair is a bit short compared to how you normally keep your mane and you skipped the tail,” I noted.

“I had to guess at the mane length, I chose not to add the tail because you don’t have one,” Luna replied easily, though this brought me to a new concern.

“Why are you trying to be so much like me? Don’t you like being a pony?” I asked seriously.

“Do you enjoy doing things to make me happy?” Luna countered.

“I do,” I allowed, unsure of where she was going with this.

“So do I. While I know you don’t seem to care how I look, I still think having some semblance of one of your kind around will be comforting,” Luna concluded. I couldn’t fault her for that; I definitely found her more appealing like this, but not nearly enough to justify the work involved or the danger.

“If I knew you weren’t at risk of hurting yourself, I’d be more comfortable with the idea,” I commented.

“I’ll remember everything about this dream when I wake up, I’ll just have Abby copy the memory and make sure the bioform in my head keeps it fresh for me. I’ll keep doing this until I get it perfected, then I might try it in the real world,” Luna responded, showing some forethought towards the matter.

“That will work for me, so long as I’m there to put you back together if anything goes wrong,” I conceded reluctantly.

“Excellent. Shall we conjure your family so I can finally meet them?” Luna proposed.

“You might want to put some clothes on first,” I advised, poking Luna’s exposed breast for effect.

“Is that the norm for your people? I guess a jacket like yours and some leg coverings would be acceptable,” Luna replied as the clothing appeared on her body, though that was all that appeared. Her open jacket would leave nothing to the imagination as soon as she moved. I chuckled as I reached up and zipped the jacket halfway up to preserve her modesty.

“Try to keep your breasts covered, it’s considered lewd otherwise,” I explained at her look.

“Must be a cultural thing,” Luna replied as she adjusted her jacket to be more comfortable.

I noticed she seemed to be trying to get the material off of her stomach and stopped her hands with a gentle touch of my own as I smiled, “Short jackets are a thing Luna, it doesn’t have to reach that far.”

“Thank the stars, it feels too weird to have something touching my belly all the time,” Luna sighed as the jacket shortened to stop just below the point where leaning back would expose her, “And the leg coverings? Are they acceptable?”

“The common term is ‘pants.’ They’re fine as long as you’re comfortable in skinny jeans,” I replied.

“Just how many clothing options do your people have?” Luna cried in exasperation.

“Almost as many as there are people, maybe more. If you want to keep these, lower the waistline a bit or Mark will make fun of you for looking like Urkel,” I responded easily, watching closely as Luna fixed her pants to more closely match a more feminine style. I stopped her with a touch and looked down at her choice of footwear, finding a well fitting clone of my sneakers.

“Anything else I should change or are we good to get started?” Luna asked, her tone hinting that she was actually enjoying this and would prefer the former.

“Well, it would be weird for us to wear matching shoes. Maybe some boots would fit you better,” I suggested, “Maybe a little higher, yeah. Now, most boots are either black or bro-black it is. Do they fit alright?”

“My range of motion is a little restricted, but I get the feeling that’s intentional. To prevent ankle injuries perhaps?” Luna guessed.

“Yep. That’ll about do it unless you want to add in some accessories,” I noted. Luna’s equine ears suddenly gained the silver piercings I had made her and a trio of loose silver bracelets appeared on each of her wrists. I nodded my approval as Luna’s creative mind filled in the rest based on what I had guided her through.

Luna’s head tossed and shook before she flipped her hair back, revealing that it had gone from just past shoulder length to reaching all the way down her back. With another shake, the silver beads I had once attached to her mane reappeared. She looked like she had just come from a rave but didn’t seem to show anything other than comfort in her outfit.

“Alright, how do I look?” Luna asked, flashing a grin.

“About fifty leagues above me,” I replied before I noticed something else that was off, “Wait, where are your wings?”

“I couldn’t get them to transition properly, I’ll add them again when I figure out how,” Luna confessed before bringing a hand to her face in embarrassment and adjusting her dream self to have wings again. She extended them angelically to ruffle them into being comfortable before folding them against her back. I smiled at her antics as I tried to fix the issues with my dream body, finding it incredibly difficult for some reason I couldn’t identify, “Here, let me help.”

Luna took my hand and lifted it above my head as she prompted me to turn in a circle. Though I didn’t notice any change, I was suddenly a couple inches taller when I returned to facing Luna. I took a look down at myself to find that I was back to my usual appearance, though still wearing my old clothes.

“That should be everything, how do we bring them here?” I asked.

“Let me handle the work, you just bring up every memory you have of Mark,” Luna instructed as I vaguely human shaped shadow appeared next to us. A blue line connected the fingers of Luna’s right hand to to my head while her left connected with the shadow.

Mark took shape and immediately collapsed onto his hands and knees, vowing to never drink again.

“You aren’t drunk Mark,” I responded as another shadow formed and I started bringing up my memories of Kristen.

“You sure? ‘Cause everything feels weird and I don’t know where the fuck I am. Who are you guys anyway?” Mark groaned, seeming content with flopping onto his side for now.

“It’ll be easier next time, they’ll already be formed and organized,” Luna noted.

“It sounds like you’ve done this before,” I commented.

“There is a reason I’ve never let you into my dreams,” Luna responded quietly, prompting me to drop the subject for now.

Kristen finished forming and fell next to Mark, though she failed to catch herself and twisted her arm on impact. Without thinking, I kneeled next to the pair and rolled Kristen over to fix her arm.

“How much did we drink last night? I’ve never been hungover enough to see demons before,” Kristen rambled while I wordlessly reseated her shoulder and repaired her rotator cuff.

“There you go, good as new,” I stated as I stepped back to let them recover.

“Your first instinct is to heal them?” Luna commented, “Interesting, given how you know they aren’t real.”

“Old habits, I’ve bandaged Kris up enough times for it to become second nature,” I replied.

“We get it Jack, you’re helpful. Damn bastard,” Kristen groaned as she held her head. Mark, on the other hand, was recovering quickly and staggering to his feet, though his body froze when he saw Luna and I.

“I’m either really drunk or this headache is some side effect of the probing,” Mark reasoned.

“We’re not-well, Luna’s an alien… but I’m not,” I protested, my voice only confusing Mark even more.

“Why do you sound like my brother?” he asked suspiciously.

“Because I am, I just got punted into another universe and turned into this along the way,” I answered simply.

“Eh, face could use some work,” Mark critiqued. My face was exactly the same.

“Dick,” I swore.

“Asshole,” Mark countered before half walking, half falling forward to hug me. Luna tilted her head at the odd greeting, but remained silent for now. I noticed her quietly tugging at her sleeves though, as though her clothes were uncomfortable.

Kristen managed to get onto one knee by the time Mark was confident enough to stand unassisted, but it would be some time before she’d recover enough to stand without anyone helping her get her other foot under her.

“Luna, could you help Kris to her feet and keep her steady?” I requested as I hooked Mark’s arm over my shoulders for security. Kristen rose into the air in time with Luna’s hand before slowly being drawn in and set back on the floor. Luna adopted a similar strategy and used her shoulders to keep Kristen stable.

“Who are you?” Kristen asked in confusion as she got a good look at Luna’s equine face.

“Apparently she’s an alien, and knows Jack,” Mark responded, his strength seeming to return by the second.

“Any friend of Jack’s…” Kristen trailed off before doubling over and trying to vomit.

“Can’t you do something, Lu? Make her stronger or whatever?” I asked.

“My magic works the same way in here as it does in the real world, I’m afraid I don’t know enough about her biology for medical spells to help,” Luna replied with a shake of her head, “It will pass soon though.”

“Alright, can you summon us a table and chairs at least?” I pressed, finding one right in front of me before I had finished speaking.

“This is your dream Jay, you don’t need me for that,” Luna chided as I set Mark down and moved to retrieve Kristen. The perpetually frail woman didn’t try to fight as I picked her up and carried her to the chair next to her husband, as she was used to the treatment at this point.

“I-I think I’m okay now, what’s going on? Where are we?” Kristen asked as some color returned to her face.

“This may be difficult to understand, but you aren’t anywhere. This place is where Jay, Jack to you, goes when he falls asleep. You don’t exist in our universe outside of this dream and Jay’s memories,” Luna explained as she sat down across from the couple. I joined her a moment later, my actions slowed by my focus on learning how this spell worked.

“So we die when he wakes up then?” Mark guessed.

“I can suspend you, essentially saving your consciousness until you’re called back. My ghosts describe it as feeling similar to suddenly falling asleep and waking up,” Luna reassured before turning to me, “Are you certain this clothing is absolutely necessary? It feels like it’s wearing the fur off of my arms.”

“Then I’ll rip off the sleeves,” I replied with a shrug as I tore the leather away and left Luna wearing something similar to a vest.

“Necessary? There’s not really a required style for meeting with humans,” Mark pointed out, confused.

“It’s complicated,” I deflected.

“No it isn’t, I usually don’t wear clothes at all,” Luna corrected, walking right into the proverbial firestorm I was trying to avoid.

“A nudist? I guess that’s cool,” Kristen allowed, though her eyes had a downcast quality to them now. Kristen knew she was barely anything more than a skeleton and tended to get incredibly self conscious at the thought of other women being naked.

“How do you two know each other anyway?” Mark asked quickly in an effort to push the conversation somewhere that wouldn’t upset his wife.

“We’re married,” Luna answered almost instantly.

“Luna, slow down,” I advised, raising my hand to gesture towards where Kristen was starting to cry, “Kris doesn’t do well when her condition is made to look like a handicap.”

“But it isn’t! I can’t and won’t see any other humans, therefore she’s the most beautiful human I’ve ever seen,” Luna protested.

“Thanks for the effort, but…” Kristen trialed off.

“No, I won’t let my new sister suffer. Where magic has failed, medicine will succeed. Jay, your powers are just as effective in here,” Luna declared.

“Woah now, hold on. What powers?” Mark demanded, holding his hands up in an attempt to slow down the madness going on around him.

“Do you remember Prototype? The Playstation game? I was dropped onto this world as something like Mercer, but without all the game nerfing. In the thousand years I’ve been here, I’ve gotten very good with my abilities. I’m actually a licensed doctor and the world’s leading surgeon, as well as the top expert on a number of different subjects. If Luna’s right and my abilities are unaffected, I’m good enough to fix your spine,” I explained.

“That’s absolutely terrifying Jack, I was so much happier thinking you’d just gotten covered in charcoal or something,” Mark complained sarcastically, falling back on his old defense mechanism.

“Kris, it’s up to you,” I offered, setting my open hand on the table.

“To be clear, you’re dream ghosts. I don’t believe Jay would hurt you anyway, but it wouldn’t benefit him at all here. There’s no risk,” Luna added.

“But you’re real? You’re at risk? How can you live like that?” Kristen asked softly as her hand hovered over the table several inches from my offered one.

“Because I understand, I know what it’s like to be alone. Jay was alone for so long, just like I was. We keep each other sane. That’s why I can sleep next to him and not worry about accidentally getting eaten,” Luna replied easily.

“There is always a risk with surgery, more so when it’s spinal. But I operate at the cellular level, no other doctor can do what I do or be as precise as I am,” I corrected.

“I need some time to think about it, that’s a big change,” Kristen requested as she retracted her hand. Luna seemed offended until I set my other one on her shoulder.

“I expected as much, just give me your answer when you’re ready,” I allowed.

“Well, I’d say the mood is dead and buried,” Mark joked.

“Meh, I’ve seen worse. At least nobody actually died,” I replied with a shrug.

“Why you gotta ruin my jokes man?” Mark complained before looking at the hand I still had lying on the table, “Do something.”

“Define ‘something’,” I countered.

“Something cool, make a claw or whatever,” Mark instructed.

“Shapeshifting isn’t a party trick, it’s an almost constant part of my life,” I griped as I did as requested, breaking my hand apart to reshape it into the swordlike claws I was familiar with.

“So that was a game thing after all, you don’t have to change the other hand too,” Mark commented, causing Luna to look at where my other hand had been placed and give Mark a flat look.

“I see the quiet experimentation runs in the family,” Luna noted.

“I feel like I should be panicking right now,” Kristen commented as Luna and Mark started to argue over the ethics of putting another in that kind of danger.

“Why?” I asked, only half listening to the other discussion.

“I know it doesn’t make any sense, but these things are longer than my arms,” Kristen continued as she pinched the sides of one claw and tried to lift it. I helped her pick up my hand and roll it over to see the back, though she only sighed when she saw the sharp edge along the spine as well.

“I’m still your brother,” I declared, we’d never added the ‘in-law’ part.

“Are you though? You’re not the same person as the friendly accountant that stuck around to help us out, not in body or mind. I believe that you were once, but the Jack I knew didn’t have the eyes of a killer,” Kristen pressed. I knew she wasn’t trying to offend me, but I still flinched at the accusation.

“If you believe that, then stop calling me by that dead name. My name is Jekyll, king of Tartarus, legate of the first legion, and terror of those who would earn my ire,” I snapped, my anger flaring to the point that Mark and Luna stopped arguing and looked over in concern. Kristen Looked down to the claw in her hand and slowly set it back down.

“I think that was a bit much, Jay,” Luna chided.

“Just a little,” Mark agreed.

“I don’t think so, I think Kris is dead on when she says I’m not the same person I was. I think that’s obvious. I think… I think I was hoping you wouldn’t notice,” I confessed, dragging my claw across the table and letting it hang by my side, “It came with a perfect memory, I relive every loss when I think about them. The two of you were the last people I parted on good terms with. Even the guy that ran my bar thought I was an asshole.”

“Says the king,” Mark scoffed.

“Fuck you, I had to kill Satan for that,” I shot back.

“Next time, you all can deal with your own weird sensibilities,” Luna spat as she started fussing with the remains of her jacket.

“Why not just make it looser?” I suggested.

“Because I can’t change things now that the dream is fully formed, I’d swap it out for a robe or something if I could,” Luna replied angrily before dropping her hands and looking between Mark and Kristen, “Would it offend the two of you that much if I took this accursed thing off?”

“Kris?” Mark deferred.

“I’m not petty enough to keep you from being comfortable, but I will feel ugly,” Kristen answered honestly.

“Thank the stars,” Luna sighed as she tore the improvised vest from her shoulders and took a breath as if she’d been forced to hold one, “How do you survive like that? It’s so constricting.”

“You have a version of that same coat in the real world,” I pointed out.

“Which I will tolerate for limited periods of time. And it’s tailored better, it doesn’t restrict my movements,” Luna huffed.

“So… how did the two of you meet?” Mark asked awkwardly as he tried to keep the conversation alive and positive.

“I went crazy and turned into a world ending threat to all life, then Jay showed up and pinned me down while some others restored my sanity. After that we got drunk and woke up married,” Luna summarized.

“You pulled a Hangover? I thought kings were supposed to be classy,” Mark mocked. At Kristen’s continued silence and frequent looks at her unnaturally thin arm, I stripped my jacket off as well before removing my shirt and handing it to Luna.

“Well, Tartarus is this world’s version of Hell. I’m the king of demons, not a lot of class to be had there,” I replied as Luna slid the loose shirt over her head and nodded after a moment’s consideration.

“I was a princess as well, so he’s not the only one at fault,” Luna added, “And this shirt feels so much better, I want one to sleep in.”

“Talk to Rarity, it’s important to support local businesses,” I responded.

“I’ll be doing that, might have to get two versions though,” Luna hummed.

“Why two? Are you a shapeshifter too?” Kristen asked curiously.

“No, I’m an alicorn. I have magic instead. I used a spell to make myself look more like you, but I’m growing fond of having hands. I might do this in the waking world as well,” Luna elaborated.

“The fuck’s an alicorn?” Mark wondered.

“These wings aren’t just for show, I can fly and use magic,” Luna answered.

“Luna’s normal appearance resembles that of a horse,” I added.

“Like the farm animal?” Kristen confirmed.

“I’m not… I’ll just show you, the spell is easy to break,” Luna sighed as she stood up from the table. My shirt was returned before a balled up pair of skinny jeans were tossed into the void and Luna’s hands lit with the brightness of a dozen suns. When the Light dimmed, the pony I knew returned to the table and used her telekinesis to tug my shirt back onto her body, “There, now I’m comfortable and you don’t have to deal with your aversion to nudity.”

“That was... unexpected,” Mark managed.

Kristen looked like she wanted to say something intelligent, but when her mouth opened all that would come out was a squee of joy before she rushed around the table to hug Luna.

“Can I touch your… What’s it called? A mane?” Kristen requested.

“If you like, though I’m not accustomed to being asked for permission. Most ponies can judge when it’s appropriate to handle another’s mane,” Luna allowed, smiling as Kristen glided her fingers through the naturally soft hair. Luna groaned happily when Kristen scratched her ears and leaned into the contact.

“Whelp, now she’ll love you forever. Why’d you have to go for the ears?” I teased.

“So, it’s Jekyll now then?” Mark asked, turning serious now that the girls were busy distracting each other.

“That’s right,” I responded, “What of it?”

“Doctor Jekyll, do I really need to point out how bad of a joke that is?” Mark pressed.

“Totally unrelated. The name was given to me by the first friend I made in this world, though it was a subtle hint that he wanted me to kill him. The name means ‘killer’ where he came from. Medicine just sort of happened because I was dealing with injured soldiers and sick locals, plus I needed to prove to myself that I could be more than a warlord,” I explained.

“That doesn’t sound remotely like the brother I knew, what happened to ‘fighting is for idiots’?” Mark demanded.

“I figured out why you did. I found something worth fighting for,” I replied easily, getting a smile out of Mark as he glanced at Luna, “Not Lu, we only met a few months ago. My daughter.”

“So I’m an uncle too then? We might have to get the two of them together at some point for a playdate,” Mark laughed. It wasn’t a properly jovial laugh, more like one from someone who has completely given up on understanding the world.

“Sorry, sorry, but you… look at you, and her, I can’t make sense of it,” Mark rambled.

“Mark,” I warned, trying to get his attention before he could go any further down this rabbit hole. I repeated his name three more times before bringing my fist down on the wooden table hard enough to crack it and get everyone’s attention.

“Jesus,” Mark swore as he leaned back, “Since when did you start using violence?”

“You really want to know?” I challenged, “Alright fuckers, gather ‘round. It’s story time.”

Mark and Kristen didn’t get another option as I returned them to their seats and held them there for a few seconds. Mark panicked when the tendrils I’d extended from my feet locked him into his chair, but I’d eaten things much stronger than him. There was no escape. Kristen calmed him with a whispered word of encouragement and an arm over his shoulders, but otherwise accepted that I wasn’t letting them go until I was satisfied. I released my hold once Mark stopped struggling and resigned himself to his fate.

“Jay, you’re getting close to villain territory again,” Luna warned.

“Let me handle it Lu,” I responded curtly before returning my attention to Mark and Kristen. I told them everything I’d told Luna, about how I had ended up here because of the leather jacket I’d been wearing, about how the salesman had tricked me into this fate. I told them everything about my time living in the forest and my few interactions with Friedhelm before he died.

Mark seemed to brighten when I told him about how I had essentially adopted Sigrid and Freydis, though he soured again when I told them about how Sigrid had been murdered by changelings. They seemed caught between horror and pride when I described the battle I’d had in the hive and my rescue of Freydis. Luna apologized for Celestia’s behavior and admitted to their relation after I described her apathy towards Freydis’s plight, but then fell silent again as I continued with my tale.

I explained how I had gotten to the Crystal Kingdom and how I had been taken in with open arms, the way their king had selflessly used an ancient artefact to revive Freydis. I described the horror and desperation that spread across the land during the Second Awakening. I told them about how Sombra had personally asked me to lead a team against the demon hordes, and our trials in Tartarus before I faced off against Belial and won. I explained how Sombra had neglected to tell me that I’d be a conqueror and now surprised I was to find those same demons bowing after I emerged from Belial’s palace.

I told them about the fall, how Celestia had attacked without provocation and sealed the kingdom in time. I told them about my rage and how I’d crippled her in retaliation, stripping the muscles out of her wings while she was awake.

I explained my war against the remaining changelings and the eventual creation of my enforcers and leviathans. I described how they were made and how they were pieces of myself that had been cut off and gown into separate entities. I told them about my experiments into genetic manipulation, how they had resulted in the massive structure of DNA that we called control genes.

Then I told them about how I had met Luna, how I had paralyzed her so the magical artefacts known as the Elements of Harmony could restore her mind. I told them about how I had met with her later and how we had become friends. I described what I could remember about the party I had thrown and the fallout we had dealt with the next day.

I explained how I had dealt with my loneliness by adopting whole families, with the most recent being Lucky and Silver. I confessed that I hadn’t been there to save Silver from the disease that had consumed his body and had founded a new class of enforcers in retaliation. I explained the philosophy of the Wardens and how I had executed every last one following their kidnapping of Lily. I reassured them that she had recovered well after I removed her memories and had moved on with her life.

Mark looked like he didn’t know how to feel about Dopple or his rebellion, his internal conflict only getting stronger when I told them about how he had unleashed the spiders and apologized before showing up to talk at the club a few days after we finished the reconstruction.

I told them about the coming war, the one Celestia had started centuries ago. I informed them about the mysterious figure known as Fate that was manipulating everything from behind the scenes and driving everything forward, along with my fears regarding this entity. I finished this section with the tale of how Celestia had lost her leg and broken down, her mental state so shattered that even Luna needed some time in a place where she couldn’t hear the constant sobbing. I revealed how Dawn’s theory had inadvertently outed our marriage and tipped me off to the real reason Celestia had been so hateful, as well as her psychological need to face punishment for her crimes.

I followed that section by segueing into my relationship with Luna. I began with our vacation to Lucky’s resort and how I had overseen her training at the beginning of each day before we settled in to relax and have fun. This led into Luna’s fear of intimacy and how Catrix had helped her get past it, which then turned into a need for me to reciprocate her feelings in both type and intensity. Luna opened her mouth to protest against that one, but stopped short and settled for glaring at me indignantly. I explained that my emotions had dulled over the course of my life here and that Luna had been slowly reawakening them.

I finished my tale with the sudden return of the changelings and how they had tried to subjugate the Allied Nations. I told them about the state we had found Felix in and how he had been harvested to create more changelings, which made both Mark and Kristen shudder.

“And that’s where we are now, aboard Abaddon as he carries us back to Ponyville,” I concluded.

“Could you both give us a moment? This is a lot to process,” Kristen requested.

“Absolutely, I lived plenty of it and I still need to take time to make sure it all really happened,” Luna allowed as she picked me up and carried me away in her telekinesis.

“Do you think they’ll take it well?” I asked once we were far enough away for both groups to talk privately.

“You know them better than I do, but I think they will. I’m still here after all,” Luna replied, “Though you could have left out the bit about your prison, that made my stomach turn.”

I fell silent as I waited for the reaction, though we didn’t have to wait long before Mark called us over and motioned for me to sit.

“We’ve talked it over, but can’t agree on what to make of your story,” Mark began.

“I’m amazed you survived all of that without going insane, I’m proud of you,” Kristen stated plainly.

“I’m disgusted by what you’ve done, no justification can warrant torture like that. You’ve gotten everything you have by taking it from everyone else, you’re a thug. As far as I can tell, my brother is dead and you’re just the thing with his memories,” Mark replied, prompting me to remove myself from the seat and turn away as I thought about his reaction. I briefly considered killing both of the ghosts and pretending this never happened, and might have done so if Luna wasn’t here too, but as it stood I was forced to deal with this.

“Save them or whatever if you want, but that’s about as much as I can take for tonight,” I declared.

“I thought so, just run off like every other thief and murderer,” Mark spat before both he and Kristen dissipated into mist.

“I should’ve expected this, Mark’s morality was always black and white. A better option was never good enough for him, even if there weren’t any good ones,” I commented as Luna walked over, “Can you tell how long we’ve been asleep? It feels like we’ve been here for days.”

“It’s only been three hours, but I won’t judge you if you need to wake up,” Luna allowed.

“No, this is as good a place to think as any. Just wake me up when you’re ready to start the day,” I replied as I sat down and stared into the opaque fog that made up the horizon.

“Alright, but I’ll be checking on you periodically,” Luna conceded before ceasing to exist. I was left alone with a weird ground, a broken table, and my thoughts. If Luna checked on me during the eternity I sat there for, I never noticed her. I was too busy searching my memories of Mark for any reason for him to reject me that adamantly.

I’d made mistakes before, but he’d always found a way to rationalize forgiving me. The actions he judged me for now though, I didn’t even think of them as mistakes. How could one life be worth more than an army? How was I supposed to have stopped Belial without killing him?

No, this was a flaw in the ghost, it had to be. Mark wouldn’t ignore the supporting details like that, not even for his rigid sense of right and wrong. Luna knew her spells and was unparalleled in the dream world, but she must’ve made a mistake this time.

“Jay, Jay please wake up!” Luna whisper shouted as I awoke to the sensation of being shaken. My mind instantly darted to the changelings and made contact with Abaddon to ensure we weren’t under attack. Once I was certain that the issue was internal, I slid my hand down Luna’s back to let her know I was awake. I noticed I had formed my claws in my sleep as my hand moved, prompting me to return it to normal and check Luna for cuts or stabs. Fortunately, there weren’t any wounds to find. Luna sounded shaken when she spoke again, but there was no pain in her voice, “You shifted in your sleep.”

“I’m tracking everything down now,” I replied as loose tendrils returned to their proper places. Three of them however, were in more complicated positions. Two had slipped through Luna’s skin and wormed between her ribs to rest against her lungs while a third coiled loosely around her heart. That last one worried me, though the theme of the change would suggest that I had felt the need to know Luna was with me and safe.

“Where are those tendrils?” Luna asked worriedly.

“Nowhere threatening, they just wanted to feel you breathe and live,” I responded as I removed the tendrils and ensured that they hadn’t done any damage. It was almost painful for me to pull away from the rhythmic pumping of Luna’s heart, the powerful organ’s cadence easing away my stress until I broke off the contact.

“I’m not dying anytime soon,” Luna chided as she rolled over and pushed her back against my chest. I could only assume that it was still much to early for Luna to wake up, given that she settled in to fall back asleep right away.

Luna stiffened for a moment when my hand wandered up to rest on her chest and feel her pulse once more, though she relaxed and placed her hoof over my hand after a moment to recognize that it had been a conscious action. Luna finally fell back asleep a little over a minute later and although I was essentially alone again, I now had forty reminders a minute that I wasn’t.
> Chapter 33: Forging Bonds
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had almost reached Ponyville by the time Luna woke up, though Abaddon insisted on waiting until all of his passengers were awake before accelerating to a normal pace. I didn’t mind either way and allowed him his choice, as I was certain Luna would cash in her day off as soon as she’d gotten enough coffee to think straight. It took three enforcers before Ashen finally made a cup that didn’t contain enough caffeine to make them vibrate for the better part of an hour, though they didn’t complain and Tzu commended them for their productivity afterwards.

Once Luna was finished drinking her cup of scaldingly hot coffee and staring at the wall until it kicked in, she stretched and stood to complete her part of the sunrise. I watched her through Abaddon as she walked to the deck in silence and either lowered the moon or did that in addition to raising the sun, I could never tell. It wasn’t until she walked back down to our room and climbed back into bed that she spoke.

“How long will it take to get rid of our guests?” Luna asked, sounding annoyed at the fact that there were minotaurs and gryphons aboard.

“One of them will be here for a while, but the rest will be leaving as soon as they’ve been debriefed. I doubt that will take long, given how the changelings treated them,” I replied.

“Good, they’ll be harder to see as enemies if I interact with them,” Luna commented.

“Tzu is not the god of tactical decisions, you can talk with whoever you want. And you didn’t have that much of a problem with Gilda,” I pointed out, making an educated guess as to where Luna had heard that line.

“Gilda wasn’t our enemy, they are. They’ll go right back to planning the takeover of Equestria as soon as we hand them over,” Luna countered.

“You’re getting cynical, my plan is to send them home as a diplomatic gesture. We show them that we fought off a swarm of changelings to save their people, they might start having doubts about their participation in the war. On one hand, we were selfless enough to rescue our enemies from certain doom, and on the other we have the fighting prowess to beat back a swarm. A one-two punch of political maneuvering,” I explained easily.

“And you didn’t tell me this because…” Luna began, seemingly intent on being angry about something.

“Because I hadn’t thought of it until I saw them,” I finished, “I know I’ve told you about my opportunistic tendencies, I saw a move and took it. Want to talk about why you’re actually mad?”

“My dream ghosts didn’t like my spell, they made fun of me,” Luna confessed as she rolled onto her back and crossed her forelegs over her chest with a huff.

“Who do you have dream ghosts of and why?” I asked curiously.

“My parents and I don’t know, I keep summoning them because I’m convinced I’ll make them proud of me if I try hard enough,” Luna admitted, her legs unfolding as I turned her over and hugged her to my chest.

“You don’t need them to be proud of you, they’re not here. I am here and I’ll never fail to remind you how amazing you are whenever you need it. And for the record, I thought your spell was amazing,” I rebuked, causing Luna to fall silent as she slowly brought her hooves around to hug me back. A thought occurred when she finally added some pressure to her hold, “Hey, don’t the ghosts only go off of your memories of the person? Are yours capable of being proud?”

Luna didn’t answer for a long time as she considered my question, “I feel dumb now.”

“You’re not dumb, it’s normal to seek that kind of approval. Look at Fang, that’s all he can think about,” I countered jokingly, getting a smile out of Luna in return.

“I guess you’re expecting me to use that day off you promised? I really want to, but I’d also prefer to save it for my birthday,” Luna stated.

“I thought that one was a given, who works on their birthday?” I asked, slightly off put by the idea.

“I have since the founding of modern Equestria, I usually didn’t even know it had passed until days or months later,” Luna confessed.

“Well, it’s...fourteen days from now, I promise you won’t miss it this year. Even if I wasn’t here, Pinkie wouldn’t allow it,” I reassured, having to get the dates from Abaddon.

“Nope, never ever,” Pinkie agreed. As we both turned to look at the mare, she lowered beneath the edge of the bed without bending her legs. Luna rolled over and peeked over the edge to see where Pinkie went, then dropped onto her hooves and ducked lower to look underneath. When she stood back up, her left eye was twitching.

“Don’t question it, you’ll hurt yourself,” I warned.

“Fuck it, I’m done with today already. Abaddon, give me a massage table!” Luna cried before flopping onto the floor with her legs splayed. The table she requested lifted her back to her normal height a moment later, though this did little to improve her mood until I slid off the bed and walked over to dig my fingers into the muscles of her back, “I need to get these more often.”

“You say that every time,” I commented as I moved up to her neck.

“It’s true every time,” Luna countered with a happy sigh. Just for fun, I grew a second pair of arms and scratched both of her ears at the same time.

“How’s that?” I asked pointlessly, knowing Luna was beyond the ability to talk. She was too busy trying to get the most out of the ear scratches and quietly pleading for me to keep going. I took her obvious pleasure as a sign to push even further and sent tendrils through her skin to work the undersides of her muscles as I massaged the stress out of my wife. Anyone passing by who heard Luna couldn’t have been blamed for thinking we were doing something more intimate, as Luna had decided that moaning and swearing were good ways of expressing how much she was enjoying the massage. I hadn’t even left her shoulders by then either.

As Luna had requested yesterday, I unknotted and relaxed every muscle and joint in her body. I even filed and polished her hooves to a high shine while I was working on her legs. Loose feathers were removed and discarded as needed when I pulled the stress from her wings. I initially skipped Luna’s flanks and tail, as I’d done this enough by now to know where that led.

Once I’d finished with the full body massage, and the inevitable side effect of same, Luna slid off the table and arched her back to stretch before sighing happily.

“You give the best massages,” Luna complimented.

“I try, but I doubt I’ll ever be skilled enough to give you the level you deserve,” I replied, causing Luna to blush and jab at my side playfully.

“Cut it out you goof. What should we do next?” Luna asked.

“It’s your day, you tell me. I would like to ask Tzu about his little project at some point though,” I replied.

“Well, I was thinking we could go to Tartarus, I want to ask Danny about something,” Luna proposed.

“Then we’ll go to Hell,” I agreed as I removed my sword from my empty armor and tossed it onto the bed before flowing into the caped status symbol.

“Do you always have to say it like that?” Luna deadpanned as I formed a claw and cut open a portal.

“No, but I think it’s funny,” I responded as I gestured for Luna to lead the way. We made it all the way into the hallway before Luna looked both ways and realized she had no idea how to get to the forge, though she recovered in the most appropriate way possible for a queen of Tartarus.

“DAAAAANNNNNYYYY, GET THE FUCK TO THE ROYAL CHAMBERS!” Luna shouted, her voice amplified even further by magic. Her yell had been so loud that I could see the air itself quake from the force. It definitely had an effect, as every door in the hallway opened as demons of all types poked their heads out to see what was going on. Jragden only took another second to sprint around the corner with a half forged sword still glowing hot in his hand.

“I...got here...as fast as I could,” Jragden huffed breathlessly as he slid to a stop at Luna’s hooves.

“Excellent, how do I get to the forge from here?” Luna asked kindly, pretending as though a solid third of Tartarus hadn’t just heard her deafening scream for the pretty.

“It’s the fifth door on the right once you turn that corner there,” Jragden answered neutrally as he pointed.

“Allow me to rephase then, take us to the forge immediately,” Luna corrected.

“O-Of course your majesties, m-my mistake,” Jragden stammered as he bowed and turned to lead the way.

“You’re learning how to speak their language,” I noted.

“I spent three weeks here, remember? I spent enough time dealing with demons for my patience to run out, the fact that that’s what they prefer is pure coincidence,” Luna argued haughtily, though a pinch to her wing changed her tone, “Hey, quit it. We’re in public and I have an authority to maintain.”

“As if any of these fools would risk either of our wraths by talking about us behind our backs, much less both of them at once,” I countered, my implied threat sending the curious demons scurrying back to their jobs.

“Ooh, that was a good one. I’ll remember that,” Luna praised.

“I’ve been doing this for a while,” I replied with a shrug.

“But pinching me there still undermines my status as their ruler,” Luna pressed.

“Oh? Is that so? So I shouldn’t do this either?” I teased as I scratched Luna’s ear and chuckled at her unconscious lean into my hand. Luna’s face was the picture of internal conflict, she loved having her ears scratched.

“A queen needs to be pampered from time to time,” Luna declared, justifying her indulgence and pressing into my hand even harder.

“If I may ask, what do you require forging?” Jragden asked, pretending not to see our actions.

“A wedding band,” Luna replied without hesitation, making me stop. Luna pouted slightly when my hand left her ears, but caught my expression quickly enough, “What’s wrong?”

“Wars and shit!” I answered loudly, exasperated by Luna’s choice of timing, “I’m out there trying to weaken our enemies, enemies who would love to carve both you and Chelly up by the way, and you want to bring them here sooner? What the fuck Luna?”

“It will obviously need a hidden hinge or invisibility rune,” Luna allowed.

“A hinge? A rune? No wonder you came to Danny, he’s the only one with a prayer of making it work. This...This is insane, but it’s also worth a try,” I relented.

“That’s right. Even if it goes poorly and I can’t keep it around all the time, it’ll only be a portal away. I’ll be expecting you to wear a ring as well,” Luna replied confidently.

“Would you like me to modify your armors to contain one of each as well?” Jragden offered.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, except that Jay wears his armor all the time,” Luna pointed out.

“Nobody questions the details of my armor, there are too many for it to catch the eye. If it’ll make you feel better, he can add gold rings to all of my fingers and add your mark to the correct one. It’ll be there, but smaller and even less noticeable,” I suggested.

“Yes, some gold around the particularly significant embellishments would catch the eye and muddy the one you wish to hide. I good idea my lords,” Jragden agreed as he stopped at the door to his forge and pushed it open for us. The heat caused Luna to shy away until she could cast a pair of spells for us to keep the heat manageable.

“You keep your forge awfully warm,” I commented as we descended into the hottest place on the planet with only a spell to keep us from cooking in our own fluids.

“Abyssanite is incredibly difficult to smelt, the heat keeps it from cooling too quickly. Were one of my blades to cool before I was ready to temper it, I’d have to re-smelt the entire thing and start over,” Jragden explained.

“Why do I get the feeling that we’ll be here for hours?” I asked warily as we entered the main room and spotted the basin of superheated magma the locals called a forge. Jragden’s materials were neatly stacked and organized in bins along one wall, while a permanently frozen door on the other side kept the searing heat away from his fabrics and embroidery materials.

“Because it probably will, as forging something as personal as a wedding band can take many iterations before it’s perfect for each of the parties,” Jragden replied quickly, “You may wish to wait in the adjoining room, the temperature is much more… survivable.”

“That sounds like a good plan, I trust you’ll bring us the first samples of your work?” Luna assumed as she led me towards the frozen door.

“Of course, m’lady,” Jragden agreed as he moved to his bins.

This would take a while.


Perspective Change: One Seventy-Three Dash Four
Market District, Canterlot


I was being followed. I didn’t like being followed, it meant my cover was blown. The question was how; this mission had been given by Jeffrey and only served to sate his curiosity, none of the rogues could’ve known I was even here.

“Fucking asshat rogues following me and shit,” I swore under my breath as I looked for somewhere to stage an ambush. An alley caught my eye and I began preparing a plan of attack, though I hadn’t anticipated to be grabbed and pulled into the same alley by another of my kind.

“Shut the fuck up,” the other enforcer hissed as it pressed its disguise’s back against the wall and waited to snatch the rogue stalking me. Its tone and lack of pressing its advantage confused me as I realized the enforcer didn’t have the usual cellular structure. I’d only gotten a brief look while it was tossing me, but I was sure that I was being helped by a rogue.

Nevertheless, it was in my best interest to keep quiet for now. At least until I could get more information about what was going on. The rogue was currently wearing the face of a light gray earth pony with an orange mane, but there were details lacking that showed how hastily the disguise had been invented. This had never been a living pony, meaning the rogue I was with wasn’t one of the violent ones. If it hadn’t hurt me or killed a pony for a disguise, it couldn’t have been that bad.

It struck, snatching the green pegasus off the sidewalk and stomping a hole through its chest before anyone on the street could see that anything had happened. The pegasus burned away to reveal black carapace before the insectile creature ceased to exist at all.

“A changeling? But how?” I asked.

“They can see us as easily as we can sniff them out, you need to tell father that they’re planning something big,” the rogue instructed with a much more feminine voice. There was an uncommon authority to that voice, similar to that of Lord Jekyll and Dopple.

“I’m tempted to just kill you and return to my mission, why should I care about some stupid bugs?” I threatened.

“Because they remove all operational security with their existence, every India in Equestria and beyond is in danger of being outed. You couldn’t kill me anyway, you aren’t strong enough,” the rogue retorted, drawing my mind back to the aberrant cellular structure I had seen.

“Are you…” I began, my mind drawing conclusions I didn’t like.

“My name is Six, take that however you want. These bugs are threatening my peaceful life as well, so make them go away,” Six snapped.

“You’ve been helping us, but why? No, that’s irrelevant. I can’t leave until I find the reason Vinyl Scratch used the word ‘enforcer’,” I stumbled, regaining my train of thought quickly.

“I live here most of the time, she got it from me,” Six replied a bit too quickly.

“I doubt that, why would an Alpha spend her time with some random DJ?” I demanded, making the prototype enforcer flinch. So it was true, I was in the presence of one of Lord Jekyll’s first attempts at creating life. The biggest question in my mind now was how and why Alpha Six left us.

“I… I like music,” Six offered weakly. It didn’t matter, I had my answer. Apha Six had survived for centuries without causing a stir and was only aiding us now to protect herself.

“Anything else to say before I tell Lord Jekyll about this meeting?” I allowed.

“I just want to be left alone,” Six stated before slumping down the wall and sighing sadly. I felt a pang of sadness as well, though it was for seeing one of the famous Alphas in such a distressed state. She was so close to being Lord Jekyll that I felt compelled to help.

“What’s wrong Six?” I asked as I sat across from the prototype.

“Just overwhelmed, do you mind if I vent a little?” Six requested. I wasn’t surprised by this at all, the way we bottled our emotions and handed things logically got to all of us from time to time. It was normal for us to yell and fight with each other for no reason, just so long as both parties had agreed to help the other.

“I’ll consider it an honor,” I allowed with a nod.

“Fucking Four and his stupid fucking rogues, what the hell is he trying to pull with this pathetic attempt at a coup? Did you know I was the original rogue? I never had control genes, pops just up and forgot about those I guess. Or I was an experiment to see if the genes were the problem, the control group or some shit. Now Four’s cramping my style and drawing all this fucking attention my way, fuck that motherfucker. All I wanted to do was live my fucking life without enforcers crawling up my ass LIKE A GODDAMN GERBIL MADE OF RAZOR BLADES!” Six ranted, painting a particularly disturbing image.

“Um, okay. We haven’t really been looking for you though,” I pointed out.

“NOT YET, BUT YOU WILL NOW THAT FUCKING FOUR AND HIS STUPID FUCKING ROGUES HAVE DRAWN ME OUT. Sorry, that was a bit much. But someone decided that I needed changelings in my city too. Bugs, fucking bugs that I can’t deal with without exposing myself. See, one of them gets a little too close to my home and I end up in an alley with another enforcer because I just had to kill it. Fucking asshole universe,” Six continued, her voice dropping as she released her frustration.

“We had an enforcer get released yesterday, she’s free to make her own way now. Let me deliver my report to Lord Jekyll and I’ll meet you at Pony Joe’s with his reaction. I’ll be there tomorrow at noon with his response,” I offered.

“Or it’ll be a trap. I’ll think about it,” Six allowed, “So what about your mission, are you going to accept that I’m responsible and go home?”

“I am, you’ve made it clear that you live here and know both Vinyl and Octavia,” I replied, making the Alpha shrug. She’d been switching between the voices of those mares at random when she ranted, a habit many in my field shared.

“Then I might see you tomorrow,” Six bid before walking out of the alley and vanishing into the midday crowd.

An Alpha, one like Dopple but rogue from the start. I stood in the alley for several minutes as I analized everything Six had said, eventually deciding that I trusted her. Her actions, or lack thereof, since her creation spoke volumes about her character, enough that I was confident Lord Jekyll would allow her to live freely.


Perspective Change Jekyll


“How can you not like engravings? Without them it’s just boring,” I argued.

“You don’t have any fur for them to yank out, it hurts,” Luna shot back.

“I could make them rounded and shallower,” Jragden offered weakly, unwilling to get in the middle of our argument.

Luna paused for a moment before eyeing the demon critically, “I’ll give that style a try, but I’m not making any promises.”

“Very good ma’am,” Jragden agreed before bowing again and stepping back out to rework the silver.

“I’m pretty sure most people use wood for their prototypes,” Luna commented as she looked back towards me.

“Do you see any trees?” I countered.

“Shit, that’s a good point,” Luna conceded.


Perspective Change: Alpha Six


What had I been thinking? Was I trying to get myself killed? No, no this was an opportunity to see how I’d be reacted to when and if I ever met with Jekyll again. If that India came alone, it meant I’d be accepted and allowed to continue with my life. If there was a swarm of my cousins surrounding the shop, I’d need to disappear for a while. If he didn’t show at all, it meant there were plans for me. Only the first possibility was in my favor.

“Shit,” I swore, both from the emotions running through my mind and the fact that there was a pony staring at me. A pony that didn’t have any microparticles emanating from his skin, the clear sign of a disguised changeling. How many of these bastards were there? My damn house was just a block away.

At least I wasn’t wearing my normal face, that would’ve been problematic.


Perspective Change: Luna


“You never fail to impress,” I praised as I lifted the equally modest and beautiful bracelet Jragden had produced most recently. He’d been getting better at it too, with this one taking only twenty minutes to craft.

“Looks like abyssanite, how’d you swing it?” Jay asked.

“Layers, my lord. I began with the innermost ring, then carved the necessary runes and filled the interior with gold before finishing it off with an abyssanite shell,” Jragden bragged. In this case, I’d call his boasting warranted.

“It weighs so little, I’d almost expect it to float in the air if I dropped it,” I commented as I held the loop of metal between my hooves. It was perfect, just fancy enough to stand out without appearing snobbish or gaudy. It had elegance and class, but also simplicity and practicality. I loved it.

“I’m afraid the runes that can do that wouldn’t react well with the others, but it will fall more slowly and bounce around your ankle in a similar fashion to how your mane used to move,” Jragden replied as Jay stood up from the steel crate he’d been sitting on and slid out of his armor.

“How does it work in regards to coming off easily?” Jay asked as he took the ring resting on my hoof and examined it.

“It isn’t quite attuned yet, I need both of you for that. When we’re done, only the two of you will be able to manipulate it; and even then it’ll have to be an intentional action. If I could get each of you to touch the rubies on either side, perfect. Now channel your magic into those gems. That’s it. Now either of you can attach or remove the band as needed,” Jragden instructed as we followed his guidance through the process.

Jay took the band and easily pulled it into two pieces, each consisting of half the bracelet, before kneeling and clasping it around my offered fetlock. My heart skipped a beat when the sections of metal clinked together, it felt like we were finally something like a real couple now that he had placed this symbol on my leg. I idly moved my hoof around to watch the ring bounce against my leg, it was so light that I couldn’t even feel it until I stopped moving and let it settle. Danny had been so attentive to my desires that there wasn’t even a seam where the two halves met, it couldn’t grab my fur. Jay didn’t even see me use my wing to accept the matching ring Jragden was hiding behind his back, as I had hidden the action with an excited ruffle of my feathers.

“Just out of curiosity, which finger is your version supposed to go on?” I baited, recalling that it was on the left side but not remembering which finger.

“Second to last one from the end, left hand,” Jay answered as he pointed to the identified finger. He let me pull it towards me and turn it over as though inspecting the digit for any significance. I knew there wasn’t any beyond his culture, but it succeeded in getting him to lower his guard and look away as he thought of a question to ask Jragden about some old weapon or another. He didn’t even notice me retrieve the ring from my wing, only reacting when I slipped it onto his finger.

Jay stopped talking mid-word as his head turned to look at what I had done. I watched his eyes travel from my smiling face to the ring that now adorned is hand. I released my magical grip and let him have the appendage back as he flexed his fingers experimentally and used his other hand to turn the ring, giving him the full scope of its engravings. I’d gotten a look at it when Jragden showed it off behind his back, it was exactly the same as the one on my left leg. Both bands held matching rubies on opposite sides, yet sat flush with the metal to keep from catching on anything. My cutie mark emblazoned one side while Jay’s sigil of three diagonal slashes adorned the other.

“Abyssanite shell with gold filling?” Jay guessed, his tone devoid of emotion as he tried to figure out how he felt. My face and excitement fell with every passing second as I failed to get the reaction I was hoping for.

“Only the finest deposits for the king and queen,” Jragden replied with a short bow.

“Jay?” I asked fearfully.

“One second Luna, I’m distracting myself so I can figure out how to wear this all the time. I’m not used to being this emotional,” Jay responded distantly.

“You like it then?” I pressed, the flicker of hope returning to my heart.

“It feels right, if overdue, but it’ll cause problems as well. How would I explain this if I met with a delegate? Do I take it off? That doesn’t seem fair to you. Do I hide it inside my body? Same problem. What am I supposed to do Luna?” Jay demanded, surprising me with how difficult this was for him. The answer was obviously… to take it… off. I didn’t want to remove my bracelet either.

“Oh, that’s a really good point,” I agreed as I felt the same weight settle onto my shoulders, “I guess… I guess we’ll just have to suffer through it until we can go public.”

Jay nodded as he reached the same conclusions, though it was clearly just as painful for him to admit as it had been for me.

“Might I suggest a trick I’ve learned over the eons?” Jragden began, “Where would you say is the best place to hide a grain of sand?”

“In a desert?” I guessed.

“The common answer is ‘on the beach’, but a desert works just as well. I could spend hours making you a collection of bracelets and rings to hide the true nature of those bands,” Jragden offered.

“You clearly weren’t this helpful towards Belial, I never would have beaten him if you had,” Jay commented gratefully.

“The current regime treats me much better, I feel honored to return that favor,” Jragden replied graciously, though I was still having a difficult time focusing on anything other than the bracelet around my ankle.

“We’ll just have to deal with it until you get them done then,” Jay responded before looking between me and the demon, “What do you want?”

“Jay, be civil. Danny’s been good to us, I’d call him a friend at this point,” I chided.

“He’s not our friend, he’s a demon. A pretty. He’s the single greatest metalworker in the world and he doesn’t do anything for free, what’s the price?” Jay asked again, more forcefully this time.

“I want to see the sun. I want to breathe air that isn’t full of ash. I want to leave this prison, if only for a moment, and see the beauty of the surface. I’m sorry your highness, but I’ve lost my muse; I’ll need to find a new one if I’m to create anything of true elegance,” Jragden revealed, confirming Jay’s suspicions but doing nothing to undermine my point.

“This is the part where you open a portal,” I whisper shouted when Jay didn’t move.

“Do not leave Ponyville or you’ll wish Belial was still around,” Jay warned as he finally took action and cut open a portal to our room.


Perspective Change: Alpha Six


How many of these fuckers were there? They clearly weren’t looking for me, as each one had seemed genuinely surprised when it noticed that I wasn’t a normal pony. They were settling in for the long haul, I was just in the way. That had to be it.

I felt bad for not telling the enforcers I’d contacted before about the changelings, maybe Jekyll could’ve prepared for this if he had known they were still around. Though that increased the chances of my detection as well. I’d be a complete unknown if I hadn’t snuck in to listen to those stupid delegates, but getting to talk to my own kind again was a treat I couldn’t pass up.

I ducked into my seventy-fifth alleyway of the day and prepared for the changeling to follow me in, though it thought it could gain an advantage by scaling the building and appearing on my other side. It didn’t matter, a blind kick removed it from existence. I’d only spared it a glance to make sure it was hostile, mostly because she wouldn’t be.

As torn as I was about not warning Jekyll and my cousins, I wouldn’t put her in danger. She wasn’t a threat to them or anyone else, she was just like me. She wanted to be left alone. Maybe that was why we got along so well, we both wanted the same thing. I took a moment before I moved on to think about Chitin and where she could be by now, I hoped she was somewhere far away from here.

I nearly shouted my frustration when I bumped into another disguised changeling as I walked out of the alley.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I looked down at the alien sensation I was getting from my finger, one that constantly reminded me about the band of metal wrapped around it. It would take a bit more time before I was used to the feeling of wearing a ring. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, just new. It felt like a scar or a brand, an inflexible mass to remind me that I was another’s property.

No.

Not property, I couldn’t be caged or owned by anyone or anything. Not even by Luna. She didn’t own me, just as I didn’t own her. It was just a symbol, a tradition held by others. I wasn’t human anymore, so why had I bothered with their customs? Because Luna had wanted it. Maybe she did own me after all.

“Sir?” Tzu asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

“Yep, I’m listening,” I lied.

“If you were, you’d know that I hadn’t said anything yet,” Tzu deadpanned.

“Whatever, where’d Luna and Danny go?” I asked, realizing that I’d zoned out as soon as we’d come back. Something I’d have to look into, I hadn’t fallen into my thoughts like that before.

“They’re touring the town and seeing the local sights. Mistress Luna seems to make the strangest friends,” Tzu replied.

“She must have realized how much I needed to process and gone without me,” I reasoned, “That’s fine, I had some questions for you anyway.”

“You mean my project in the Desolate Crags?” Tzu guessed, calling the mountain range south of the Badlands by name. Technically, the Badlands themselves were owned by Equestria, though Celestia left the region lawless due to the lack of anyone living there. The mountains served as the marker for Equestria’s southern border and the bottom of most maps. All I knew about the area south of the crags was that it had a coastline, as I’d never ventured that far south.

“Yeah, explain this fort you want to build,” I ordered casually as I walked over and dropped onto the bed. Standing took a negligible amount of effort, but lying down felt more comfortable at that moment.

“If we collapse the eastern and western passes, we can force any invading force through Lame Leg Gorge. That’s the largest route through the mountains anyway and would be their primary avenue from that direction. By building a fort inside the gorge, we can control all travel through the mountains,” Tzu explained.

“And the coastline north of the mountains?” I asked.

“Is steep enough that we could dig it into a sheer cliff in less than a day,” Tzu replied.

“You want to turn the region into a version of Normandy? That might work if we have the Krakens patrolling the waters,” I allowed.

“Exactly, they’ll be forced to land further south. But all they’ll find is the massive gate and walls,” Tzu replied, growing excited as he rattled off everything about this fortress of his. He even had Abaddon summon the floor plans he’d sketched, all seven of them. Tzu beamed with pride as I questioned everything about his design and found his answers more than suitable.

“Alright, I’m convinced, but I don’t want it staffed with enforcers. You can give it two, but they’ll be serving administrative and support roles. I’m going to need as many as I can get my hands on when this clusterfuck gets going,” I stated, causing Tzu to stumble over his words in shock.

“Y-you want it manned by ponies?” Tzu confirmed incredulously.

“That’s right, our troops aren’t built for holding a point like that. We’re offensive, we push forward and take what we will. Ponies don’t, but they won’t back down when push comes to shove either. They can hold the pass,” I insisted before a stray thought crossed my mind, “Think of it like this, do you put a few of your elites in a defensive position or a large number of lesser units?”

“The lesser ones, they can see and attack more zones at once,” Tzu relented with a sigh.

“Exactly. I’m actually surprised you didn’t push that from the start, given how much inspiration you pulled from Cadia,” I commented.

“Inspiration?” Tzu asked.

“Eh, must be subconscious,” I allowed, “It was the name of a fictional fortress, you seemed set on competing with it to see who could have more defenses. You lost, by the way.”

“May I keep that name for this structure? It has a ring to it that I like,” Tzu requested as he gathered his materials.

“Not like any of the locals will know anyway,” I replied with a nod. Tzu nodded his thanks in return and set off to make the adjustments, “Wait.”

“Sir?” Tzu asked from the doorway, having to lean back to face me without backing up.

“Find out where the ponies are training, I’m going to want to see how they’re doing. Maybe I’ll make some surprise visits tomorrow, ensure they’re training properly. And steal one of those prototype guns the gryphons are producing, Equestria will need better gear,” I rambled. I was thinking out loud more than issuing orders, but Tzu understood my meaning well enough.

“I’ll make those priorities. You should also know that Jeff has reported an odd occurrence happening in ponyville yesterday, apparently the DJ Vinyl Scratch used the word ‘enforcer’ to describe my kind. He rerouted one of the returning Indias to determine her source, but he hasn’t returned yet,” Tzu informed me.

“Odd indeed,” I agreed, “Hopefully it’s nothing too dangerous for her, I like what she’s done with the Equestrian nightlife.”

“Should I send the India to y-” Tzu began before abruptly halting mid-word. I paused as well, receiving the same message.

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear before you,” I commented.

“He sounds excited, may I remain to listen as well?” Tzu requested as he handed his papers to Abaddon and stepped back into the room.

“Second and third opinions are always welcome, you don’t have to ask,” I replied as I sat up and let my legs hang over the edge of the bed.

The India Jeffrey had sent arrived a few seconds later, heralded only by a knock to the partially open door.

“Enter,” I ordered, causing the enforcer to push the door the rest of the way open and hurry inside.

“Your report?” Tzu prompted curtly.

“It’s Six!” the enforcer cried, sounding overjoyed.

“The rogue that’s been contacting our spies within the alliance’s war council?” Tzu confirmed.

“Alpha Six, she’s been alive the whole time. Apparently she was created rogue but only wants to live in peace. She didn’t even have a stolen identity, she made one up to save me from being outed by a changeling. Oh, and there are changelings all over Canterlot, Six wanted me to warn you about them and said it seemed like they were planning something,” the India rambled, clearly stricken with some twisted hero worship.

“Who is she pretending to be?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but she vented to me about how stressed this conflict was making her and how much she hated Dopple for putting her at risk. I don’t think she’s a threat at all,” the enforcer continued.

“Enough, you will stick to the questions,” Tzu snapped.

“No, speak freely. Cutting your responses will only decrease our awareness of the situation. You met a rogue Alpha and not only survived, but discovered it was friendly towards both you and the ponies. That’s an impressive feat. I’d like to meet with her to confirm her identity and sniff out any traps,” I countered, causing Tzu to look away for a moment.

“I got a good look at her cellular structure, it wasn’t anything like ours,” India One Seventy-Three Dash Four replied, offering his hand and the memory of the encounter. I sent a tendril into the appendage and nodded for Tzu to do the same, bringing all three of us to even ground in the discussion.

“You want to meet with her and tell her she can live without fear,” I noted.

“Preposterous, the Alphas were defective and should be destroyed,” Tzu spat.

“Alpha Four stood at my side for six hundred years before he was taken from us and forced into his role, he’s said it himself that he doesn’t want to fight me. Now Alpha Six has appeared and has apparently lived a good life without us. I wouldn’t call that defective, I’d say she’s the model for every enforcer to become. I’d want her to meet Veil and teach her how to survive and hide what she is from the world,” I rebuked, angering Tzu further.

“So that’s a yes to my plan then?” Four confirmed hopefully.

“Absolutely not, she’s exactly where I want her for now. Getting involved on a personal level only means more politics, remaining silent will keep her on edge and desperate to hold onto her current life. You won’t be meeting with her on my order and if you stumble across her again, you’ll remain silent about my decisions and my plans,” I instructed, causing the enforcer to lose some of his excitement and visibly shrink a few inches in size.

“As you say, Lord Jekyll,” the enforcer replied sadly before he recognized that our discussion was over and he turned to walk out. Tzu waited until we were alone before he finally put voice to his frustrations.

“Why did you want me here if you weren’t going to listen to me?” he asked, no longer hiding the anger in his voice.

“I did listen, I just didn’t agree. Destroying Six would have cost us enforcers when we’re already spread more thinly than I’d like. That means we would’ve had to take more resources to recoup our losses, resources that Equestria needs more than we do. As she currently is however, she’s providing us with a free mercenary against the changelings,” I replied easily.

“I assume Dopple would’ve said that at the start, since he was so much better at this than me,” Tzu spat, prompting me to reach out and slap him across the face.

“Stop that. Dopple would have suggested that we destroy Six, he hated unknowns. I want my generals and my proxy to disagree with me, but also have reasons and arguments to follow up with. You’ll get better at it with time,” I reassured my second in command, gripping his shoulder supportively. A pointless gesture, especially towards enforcers, but Luna’s constant presence seemed to be having more of an effect than I realized.

“I see, thank you sir,” Tzu replied stiffly before shrugging off my grip and walking out.

I hoped Luna was having a better time with Jragden.


Perspective Change: Luna


No matter how many shops we went to, it still amazed me that none of the local ponies were the least bit afraid of the demon accompanying me. Danny had even refrained from calling me by my title the entire time, instead acting like he was an old friend visiting from far away.

“Luna?” a familiar voice asked from behind us as we walked towards Applejack’s farm for some lunch.

“Ah Twilight, I was hoping we’d run into you,” I replied happily as I turned to face my student.

“You are? But yesterday you ran off before I could deliver my friendship report or get my next magic lesson,” Twilight pointed out.

“I’m sorry Twilight, there was a situation that required our immediate attention. Please understand that our departure was to save many lives from a terrible fate,” I apologized with a quick bow of regret.

“Oh, okay. I had a bit of a panic attack when I was walking over and saw Abaddon get up and leave, I thought you were avoiding me and preparing to drop me as a student and that I had made you angry by not doing enough in my friendship lessons. I might’ve gone a little overboard,” Twilight confessed.

“Define overboard,” I requested, my amusement clear in my voce and on my face.

“I want to hear this too, maybe we can get lunch together and hear this story at the same time,” Danny suggested.

“Excellent idea, would you care to join us Twilight?” I offered.

“Of course, I wouldn’t dare miss a lunch with a q-princess,” Twilight replied quickly, very nearly blurting out my secret before she caught herself.

Danny smirked as he wandered over to Twilight’s other side to quietly analize her as we walked, though he held his tongue until we were far from prying ears before he called Twilight out, “So you know then?”

“What? I don’t know what you mean,” Twilight stumbled defensively.

“I’ve done my part and played dumb, no matter how unnatural it is to refer to my queen by anything other than her title. Yet you are permitted to know, my question is why,” Danny elaborated as he stepped in front of Twilight and forced her to stop. I recalled what Jay had said about demons and how rigidly they adhered to their base nature. Danny was a pretty, a prideful and greedy race.

“Twilight is my student, she is entrusted with many state secrets,” I cut in before any violence could start.

“I see,” Danny responded warily.

“L-Luna, is this a demon?” Twilight stammered as Danny leaned down to study her face, clearly doing so to scare her.

“Back off Yeereagdan,” I warned, doing my best to pronounce the demon’s name.

Jragden looked at me for a moment before brining a clawed hand up to touch my student. His fingers didn’t have claws as sharp as Jay’s or hooked talons like a gryphon, but that wasn’t the point. My hoof met the side of Jragden’s head before he could touch a single one of the fine hairs that covered Twilight’s face, knocking him away to tumble across the ground.

I summoned Nightbane and stood over Twilight as I glared at Jragden, “How quickly you forget your place, blacksmith.”

“I am the Master of the Forge, there are none greater. I have earned my place through constant work and effort. What has this mortal done to be my equal?” Jragden spat. I didn’t know this kind of temper from the pretty, I was caught completely off guard by it.

“And for all your effort, all your work and perfectionism, you’d still throw it all away because Twilight learned of my title before you?” I challenged, causing the demon to reconsider for a moment.

“I...I overreacted, my apologies. I should not have come to the surface, my pride is too easy to damage,” Danny confessed as he reached towards his own neck.

“Wait!” Twilight cried as she rushed forward to stop the suicide, “Why did that upset you? It’s such a little thing.”

“It is the nature of my kind, we strive to be the best in all things at all times,” Danny replied robotically, as though this line had been drilled into his mind. The way he said that made me wonder, but I held my tongue and observed for now.

“I understand, I can be the same way sometimes. But I know that I’m just one pony, sometimes I’m not going to be the best. There’s a dignity in accepting that with grace. Couldn’t you be the best of your kind at accepting loss? The best in the world even?” Twilight proposed, masterfully turning the demon’s nature upon itself. I saw a bit of Tia in the way she wove words, though she seemed to really want Danny to be able to make friends. Perhaps Tia had taught her a skill she could use to make the world a better place.

Danny looked at Twilight in confusion for a moment before his features twisted in amusement. Twilight’s enthusiasm fell with her face as Jragden started laughing, “Failing with dignity? It’s unheard of. What self respecting demon would even attempt to master that? Such a useless skill, go preach that drivel to the succubi. Hoo, that was funny though. I like you.”

“I was being serious,” Twilight commented quietly.

“Danny, you will be civil,” I declared, halting the demon’s laughter, “I am going to have a nice lunch with Twilight and Applejack, you may join us if you keep your attitude in check. I understand that their culture is very different from yours, but remember that everything you do reflects back on Tartarus and its queen. Making a scene or trying to force your way on them will not be met with tolerance.”

“I understand, your highness. It will not happen again,” Jragden promised.

“See that it doesn’t,” I responded tersely before seeing Twilight’s look of alarm, “What?”

“A demon… and you just… I use that tone with Spike,” Twilight stammered.

“I suppose you have a point, hanging around Jay has gotten me used to acting without fear of retribution. I should work on judging the situation better in the future,” I replied, guessing at Twilight’s meaning. Twilight’s unconscious head tilt told me that I had guessed poorly, but she simply blinked and continued walking without us. I sighed as I levitated Jragden and set him back on his feet, “Come along and keep your ego quiet.”

We caught up to Twilight within seconds and a touch to her shoulder snapped her out of her stupor. She apologized for wandering away, but I simply waved it away and told her she had done nothing wrong.

“I may have done something,” Twilight hinted.

“The excessive effort you described earlier? I look forward to hearing about it and the lessons you’ve learned over a meal,” I replied, causing Twilight’s face to scrunch up as she was forced to hold her confession for a bit longer.

Twilight looked ready to burst by the time we found Applejack and her family sitting down at an outdoor table, to which we were eagerly invited to join. Granny Smith tried to offer me her seat at the head of the table, but I politely declined and sat in the middle across from the large red mute.

“Yer still brushin’ off traditions, eh? Goon on ya,” Granny praised.

“Your great grandchildren will run out of ponies who remember their names before I submit to any of that foolishness,” I replied jovially. Words couldn’t express how much I liked this farm. It was isolated, they all knew about my marriage, Mac was fun to flirt with and didn’t get offended, it was the perfect getaway.

“Speakin’ a foolishness, you shoulda seen these fillies an’ colts yesterday. All fussin’ and fightin’ over some ragdoll,” Granny continued, causing Twilight to blush.

“I take it they all wanted this doll? Would you say they thought they needed it?” I baited, recalling my younger days and the trouble I got into after Tia decided to play around with that spell. Mother had been quite angry to find me rolling around in the pile of broken sticks that had once been her favorite tree. Who even has a favorite tree?

“I was trying to teach a lesson about sharing,” Twilight grumbled.

“At least it wasn’t anything easily broken or applied too strongly, I shattered a tree when I was under the effects of that spell,” I commented, giving Twilight a smile.

“You shattered… a tree?” Applejack confirmed, casting a nervous glance at the orchard around us.

“By hugging it too hard, yes. Then I rolled around in the pile until Mother beat me and removed the spell, in that order,” I confessed, expecting them to find the story humorous. Instead I got shocked looks from the ponies at the table and a blank stare from Jragden, who seemed to be fighting to hold his tongue, “Danny, you can go home if you want. I expect this will only get more difficult for you.”

“Thank you, your highness. I respect the trust you’ve shown me with this admission,” Jragden responded with a slight bow before breaking his own neck and vanishing as he was consumed in flame, leaving only a light scorch on the bench to show he was ever there.

“Princess-no, let me talk-Princess, Ah’m sorry you had ta grow up like that, nopony should ever feel the hoof of their kin,” Granny stated firmly, halting me before I could object to the use of titles.

“That was a long time ago, I’m hardly the same pony. In many cases, I’m not,” I began, poking myself in the eye hard enough to squish the bioform replacement, “I appreciate your support, but there’s no point in being mad at a dead mare.”

“Sure is, there’s a lesson in it,” Granny asserted as she reared her front legs onto the table, “That bein’ my belt across the tail ah anypony mean enough ta hurt a filly.”

“Yer being awfully quiet over there Mac, somethin’ on yer mind?” Applejack asked, noticing that her brother hadn’t spoken yet.

“Eenope,” Mac attempted shakily. I could see the gears turning in his mind though, working on how to get me back for using my hind hoof to paw at his leg under the table.

“It’s too bad that I never did find Smartypants,” Twilight lamented.

“Granny, please, there’s no sense in getting worked up over something that happened two-no, three-thousand years ago,” I pleaded, worrying for the withered pony’s health.

“Hmph, least ya got that Jekyll feller now. He treat ya right?” Granny grumbled as she sat back down.

“About that, where did that mane tie come from?” Twilight asked, referencing the bracelet that I had hooked my hair through in an attempt at a disguise.

I smiled sheepishly as I unhooked the wedding band from my mane and clipped it around my fetlock, “I finally got one made.”

“How is it floating like that? A charm?” Twilight wondered, entranced by the way the bracelet drifted through the air around my hoof.

“Danny, the demon I walked up with, is a master craftsdemon. His trip to the surface was a reward for making such beautiful wedding bands for us. He prefers runes, and can weave them together like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” I explained before remembering what my bracelet was made out of, “This band should be too heavy for me to lift with one leg, but he’s made it almost weightless.”

“I take it there’s some hidden meaning there,” Twilight guessed.

“No, he just likes to make things out of abyssanite for the durability,” I replied.

“Enough yappin, the food’s gettin’ cold,” Applejack reminded us as she slid a couple dozen plates our way.

I continued quietly teasing Mac as we ate, though he maintained his stalwart facade throughout the meal. He flashed a grin when my other hind hoof joined the first, showing that he wouldn’t embarrass himself that easily. I stuck out my tongue in response before retracting my legs and allowing him to eat in peace.

Once we were finished and both Applebloom and Mac set about hauling away the dishes, we continued our conversation.

“Mac’s gonna get you back, ya know,” Applejack warned, confusing Twilight. Twilight and I had been sitting on the same side of the table, whereas Applejack had been next to her brother.

“For what?” Twilight asked, through she was ignored for the moment.

“I’m looking forward to it, games are no fun when they’re entirely one sided,” I replied.

“Jus’ sayin’,” Applejack continued, “Watch them wings, Mac dated Cloudkicker a few years ago.”

“I’m missing something,” Twilight stated.

“Luna and Mac have been flirtin’ back an’ forth, each tryna embarrass the other. Seems the war has escalated now though,” Applejack explained.

“I should probably warn Jay about this game before he gets the wrong idea,” I commented.

“You should probably stop before this turns into one of Rarity’s romance novels,” Twilight corrected.

“Hmm? You think I’d fall for Big Mac? Why?” I asked seriously, “No offence Applejack, but Mac doesn’t have anything to offer that I don’t already get in astounding quantities.”

“Too much information,” Twilight declared as she jammed her hooves in her ears.

“Not like that Twilight, I mean companionship and affection. Things like that. Jay is able to devote enough time to me that being out without him is an adventure,” I corrected, easing Twilight’s fears.

There was a long pause as Twilight reigned in her heart rate and managed to suppress her building panic attack.

“Let’s move to an easier subject, did you all try again to finish writing Rarity’s song?” I asked.

“Nah, she decided it was too personal to share. Can’t say Ah disagree,” Applejack replied.

“I suppose that’s fair,” I allowed, dropping the subject and looking around awkwardly.

“Luna, can I ask something personal?” Twilight began, prompting me to nod before she continued, “If spending time with Jekyll is so great, then why are you here?”

I paused as I attempted to form an answer to that question. Why was I avoiding my husband? I’d simply left him behind when he froze, though there hadn’t been any emotive reason behind the act.

“I... don’t know. Perhaps I just needed some fresh air and a walk,” I offered weakly.

“Don’t go pushin’ it Twi, sometimes a mare just needs to get away an’ clear her head,” Applejack added supportively.

“Perhaps you should do the same from time to time,” I advised as I turned my attention back towards Twilight, “Take some time to relax and just enjoy being alive, lessons and reports can come later. In fact, they should come naturally. Ignore whatever quotas my sister placed on you, they no longer apply.”

“But how will I know when you’ve expected me to learn something?” Twilight protested, seemingly uncomfortable with not having a due date on her assignments.

“Friendship isn’t a class, it’s an experience. Trying to structure it will only end in disaster,” I replied with a smirk.

“Like using a spell to fabricate a situation, I understand,” Twilight relented.

“Try keeping a journal, that’ll help you remember everything you’ve learned and remind you of the important things in life,” I suggested.

“That’s a good idea, we could all write in it when we learn something,” Twilight agreed.

We fell into silence again, though this one was more comfortable until Applejack decided to ask another question.

“Ah’ve been wonderin’... does Jekyll get all… tentacle-y...ya know, in bed?” Applejack asked gingerly.

I pinched the bridge of my snout with my fetlock in embarrassment as Twilight stopped breathing and fell out of her seat. So much for our pleasant conversation.

“Why couldn’t you be one of the ones who think I’m a goddess?” I complained under my breath.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Regnot, he’s waking up,” I stated as I poked my head into the minotaur’s room. The representative didn’t speak as he stood to follow me towards the space Abaddon had converted into a medical ward for the injured gryphon.

We arrived with plenty of time to spare before Felix’s eyes drifted open and he tried to sit up.

“Woah now, just relax. You’re still recovering,” I instructed as I gently pushed my patient back down, “My name is Jekyll, I’ll be your doctor until you’ve healed from all the damage that changeling did to you.”

“It’s okay Felix, he rescued us. Our people are being returned home as we speak,” Regnot added when Felix’s eyes shot open in alarm.

“Where?” Felix rasped.

“Ponyville, a small town roughly an hour’s flight south of Canterlot. More specifically, you’re inside my mobile fortress,” I replied.

“The giant?” Felix confirmed.

“I prefer to be called by my name. I am Abaddon, siege leviathan and warfort,” Abaddon interjected as he formed a secondary torso next to Regnot and I.

“How long?” Felix continued.

“You were out for about a day, but it’ll be days or weeks before you’ll be strong enough to walk again. Honestly, you’d be dead by now if we hadn’t intervened,” I responded.

“I’m a fool,” Felix declared before falling back against the bed, only now realizing how fleshy it was.

“We were all fools, we never should’ve let them take us,” Regnot argued.

“Then you’d be dead or worse and I’d be delivering your bodies to your governments,” I rebuked, “I don’t care if you rolled over and let it happen, you made the best choice given the circumstances. Every one of the other survivors has told me the same thing, you relented to their demands without a fight. Dishonorable by your standards, but it was the only thing you could’ve done to keep your people alive.”

“That’s what matters, you saved all of us,” Regnot insisted.

“Doesn’t matter, my career is over,” Felix argued weakly. My connection to Abaddon allowed me to feel his heart stop, as though he would be allowed to die in my care. Felix convulsed as electricity arced through his heart and forced him to remain alive, though this caused Ragnot to jump in alarm.

“He’s fine, he just needed a reminder of who his doctor is. I’m not going to lose a patient today,” I reassured as I placed a hand on Regnot’s chest and gently pushed him back as I walked closer, “Felix, you will recover from this and deliver your report to your emperor, Equestria will take you in if they banish you.”

“It’ll have to take me too, my king didn’t react well to the letter I sent with the first group of minotaurs. I’ve been labeled a traitor and banished already. But they’re taking the changeling threat seriously, so I guess that’s what really matters,” Regnot responded with a heavy sigh.

“So be it, I’ll talk with Luna about having immigration documents drawn up. For both of you. My hope of halting this stupid war may have been dashed, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to abandon one of my patients,” I stated.

“So what’ll you do now that the council is broken, Felix?” Regnot inquired conversationally.

Felix didn’t answer, he’d discovered the tendrils running into his body between his ribs and was poking and tugging on them experimentally.

“I think I’ll get back into public speaking, those days were fun,” Regnot continued, “Even my name is perfect for it once it’s translated into common.”

“Iron Will?” I confirmed, guessing at the rough translations the minotaurs used.

“Yep. I’ll teach these ponies how to stand up for themselves as a thank you for giving me a home,” Regnot agreed.

“I have nothing,” Felix finally stated, “All I had was family relations, a friend in the council, and charisma. I don’t have any marketable skills.”

“Then travel with me, good producers are a pain to find,” Regnot-Iron suggested.

“I don’t know if I can, I surrendered all of us to that changeling. I don’t know if I’ll be able to live with myself if I-” Felix managed before my hand lashed out hard enough to crack his beak. Felix’s head snapped to the side from the force of the backhand as his eyes widened and Iron shouted in alarm.

“Shut up already, are you idiots always this fucking dramatic? Holy shit, you fucked up and somehow kept everyone alive. Poor you. Grow some fucking backbone, pick yourself up, and move the fuck on,” I snapped.

“Hey, that was uncall-” Iron protested, prompting me to slap him to the floor as well.

“Stop. Talking. Both of you. Just shut up. You were trusted with organizing a war, and yet somehow they picked the most beta-male, feeling-focused, oversensitive bitches I have ever seen in my very long life. Luna has a cunt and she’s more manly than both of you combined. So man the fuck up and. Get. Shit. Done,” I scolded, feeling like I was talking to children.

“Okay,” Iron Will responded meekly.

“Jesus fucking Christ on a hot pink pogo stick,” I swore, irritated at their stubborn refusal to see the point I was trying to make, “I’m leaving, figure your shit out. No fucking crying either, real men don’t cry where they can be seen.”

Neither of them tried to speak as I walked out, nor did Abaddon report them speaking once I had left. I didn’t care, they’d either toughen up or Iron’s dumbass idea would flop. Not my problem.

I had Abaddon contact Jeffrey as I walked up to the deck and relay where Luna was at the moment, soon finding that she had been last seen walking onto the Apple’s farm. I thought about meeting up with Luna there, but eventually decided against it. She’d come back when she wanted to, I needed to avoid making her feel like I was shadowing her all the time.

Instead, I wandered onto the deck to sit in my preferred spot above Abaddon’s head while I thought and planned. Tzu’s idea to block the southern front had merit, but the north and west were still open. I wasn’t as worried about the western border, there weren’t any countries over there to worry about; just more forest until the horizon. The east held the sea and port cities, that was where I expected the most problems to come from. But the north, the northern border was open plains. We wouldn’t be able to do anything about the Allied Nations garrisoning troops in the untamed regions north of Equestria.

“Why?” a voice growled behind me.

“Because we can’t just kill them all, that would be counterproductive,” I replied.

“Humph, Mom lets me kill,” Fang argued as he moved to sit.

“I don’t mind killing, just when it isn’t necessary or useful,” I countered.

Fang looked at me in confusion, obviously not understanding what I meant.

“Why are you really here Fang?” I asked, sighing again.

“You know why,” Fang replied.

“No, you have to be locked up. We don’t murder others for entertainment,” I answered.

“Not that, need blood. No rogues. Need blood. Flowing. Tasty. Thick. Blood! Need it now!” Fang snarled, slipping into another of his manic phases.

“I don’t have any jobs for you, there’s nothing blunt enough yet,” I responded, causing Fang to release a high pitched whine in protest, “Don’t give me that, you did this to yourself. I’d give you jobs if I thought you could do them without slaughtering half a country.”

Fang flinched away as my tone hardened, his head turning away as he failed to meet my gaze, “Try, really try to do good. But blood wants to flow! NEEDS TO SPILL! Organs grinding grinding tearing chewing EATING killing... Need enemy, promised enemy.”

“You’ll get one when your brothers and sisters find one, if I can trust you with the mission,” I promised, prompting Fang to snarl angrily.

“NO! NOW! Need to kill to make proud,” Fang insisted.

“No,” I replied simply, causing Fang to shriek in rage and bare his teeth and claws as if to threaten me. I knew he wouldn’t attack, it wasn’t his way. He was trying to prove he was capable, but couldn’t understand that I needed the scalpel of his siblings instead of the cruise missile Fang more closely resembled.

“I will get my enemy, I promise. I will prove my worth and make you proud of me again, no matter what it takes,” Fang declared.

I fell silent as I thought about my only defective enforcer, wondering if I should’ve just killed him years ago. His obsessive and violent nature was a constant problem, only proving himself useful for the most basic missions. He did offer one solution though.

“Fang, I do have a job for you,” I revealed, speaking quietly as I put voice to an idea I hated, “I want you to patrol beyond the northern border, your targets will be anything wearing the flag of the Isles or Minos. No others, ponies and zebras may pass through as they wish.”

Fang released a throaty grow as he considered the order, soon nodding as he agreed with the mission, “Halt their advance with a disposable asset, it makes sense. OR LET FANG DECORATE THE MASSES IN ENTRAILS!”

“Go patrol, I’ll give you more jobs if you do well,” I ordered, silently sending a follow up order to Tzu telling him to have a squad of Gammas attached to Fang’s mission.

A pop signaled Luna’s return as she teleported onto the deck behind me, “Oh, hello Fang, how are… I suppose that answers my question.”


Perspective Change: Luna


While spontaneous hugs were usually nice, I doubted it was possible to be comfortable with being grabbed and pulled against an insane enforcer.

“I have no idea what’s going on in his head,” Jay commented without looking.

“Apparently the need for a hug,” I replied, bringing a foreleg up to pat Fang’s back supportively.

“I can’t go away. I can’t hold the north. What if Mommy needs me? What if more UNLOYAL BASTARDS show up?” Fang sobbed, leaving a growing red spot on my shoulder as he cried blood. I made a note to get that cleaned out of my fur before I let anypony touch me.

“Fang, I’ll be fine. I have Jay and tons of enforcers watching out for me, plus I can just teleport away if any rogues get too close,” I reassured him.

“Don’t send me away Mommy, I don’t wanna go,” Fang pleaded as he looked up into my eyes with his own bloody tear filled ones. I paused as I tried to figure out what had gone wrong in my life to lead to this moment and how to get out of this situation. That said, Fang’s particular brand of inanity was starting to grow on me. The way he had started treating me was, while incredibly creepy, rather sweet.

“Can’t you send another team, Jay? One enforcer can’t mean that much of a difference,” I offered.

“I could, but he wanted missions thirty seconds ago,” Jay replied neutrally, still facing away. I knew he wasn’t trying to be rude, but he could’ve pretended to engage with us as he thought through whatever was troubling him.

“The war isn’t for another eight months, this mission can wait,” I allowed, getting an odd strangled cheer from Fang.

“He still has to be restrained and confined to Abaddon,” Jay pointed out.

“I have an alternate idea,” I countered before returning my attention to the enforcer holding onto me a bit too tightly and using my most hurt tone to begin my proposal, “Fang, you wouldn’t disobey me, would you?”

“Never Mommy, good sons obey their mommies,” Fang declared as his grip tightened slightly.

“Would you even keep your love of blood hidden if I asked?” I continued.

“Yes Mommy,” Fang replied instantly. I was getting more weirded out by his insistence that I was his mother with every use of that word, but also found it endearing in a strange way. As though he really loved me like his mother. Whatever the true case, it warmed my heart and gave me a headache at the same time.

“Could you keep from attacking anyone Mommy talked to? Like when we were in Tartarus?” I pressed, mentally choking on using Fang’s name for me but forcing it out anyway.

“I can do that,” Fang agreed, sounding more excited as he seemed to figure out where I was going.

“Then you’ll go where I go, but you have to stay on Abaddon while I’m here,” I instructed.

“Thank you Mommy!” Fang cheered as he picked me up and turned me over to cradle me like a foal.

“Uh, this wasn’t in the script,” I commented, though Fang ignored my protest and carried me over so I could at least talk with Jay.

“Having fun?” Jay asked, finally looking over and seeming surprised by my current situation.

“Were you paying attention at all?” I countered.

“No, not really. Tzu had a bunch of things for me to go through and approve, Abaddon had a list of requests and complaints from our remaining guests, and Scoots is apparently still here and needed some school form signed,” Jay listed, getting little sympathy from me in return.

“Well, I’ve gained a personal bodyguard that seems eager to please,” I explained curtly before noticing something that caught my ear, “You can sign for Scootaloo?”

“I had Cheerilee confirm it before Abaddon did anything, she doesn’t really care who gives the go ahead. Apparently half the town has claimed to be Scootaloo’s guardian at some point or another, including several of the other students,” Jay explained.

“I still want to adopt her, a filly her age shouldn’t be so alone in the world,” I commented sourly.

“She’s got her eyes on another,” Jay replied, reminding me of how many times Scootaloo had brought up Rainbow Dash during our brief conversations.

“Hmm, what’s the situation with the minotaurs and gryphons?” I asked, changing the subject to one I thought would be full of better news.

“They banished the reps, Felix and Regnot are homeless. I told them I’d talk to you about offering them sanctuary in Equestria,” Jay responded.

“Their information is priceless, I’ll discuss it with Tia and make sure their immigration papers are drawn up quickly,” I agreed, “Did you ever find the zebra?”

“No, but I’m not worried about it. Zebras are pretty well adapted to surviving in a desert,” Jay replied.

“Um, excuse me?” a new voice asked, prompting a surge of activity as every enforcer present spun to face the speaker and Abaddon sprouted secondary torsos around me protectively.

“Abaddon what is-Oh come now, it’s just a pegasus,” I admonished as I wormed my way out of Fang’s grip and stood to face the pony.

“We don’t like unexpected guests,” Jay stated before he too stood and turned to face the intruder, “Oh, well aren’t you the most suicidal bug I’ve ever seen.”

Now that I was alerted to the truth, it was clear that the ‘pegasus’ hovering in front of us wasn’t giving off the cloud of microparticles typical of ponies.

“I actually expected as much, I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to die here,” the disguised changeling confessed.

“And why is that?” I pressed as Fang crouched next to me as though to pounce.

“I’m a pacifist, the queen doesn’t like that. I got into an argument with the others because I didn’t want to fight, so I got sent to deliver a message as punishment,” the changeling replied dejectedly.

“Do you think I’m retarded? No seriously, do you think I am actually mentally deficient? A changeling pacifist? Bullshit. You’ve got a cure bomb or something to hit me with as soon as I get close enough,” Jay accused.

“No, I really don’t have anything,” the changeling protested as it dropped it’s disguise and spread its forelegs to show it was unarmed.

“Start with your name, if you have one, then we’ll see about your message and what to do with you,” I allowed, finding no harm in allowing the insectile pony to speak.

“Knowing its name will make it harder to kill,” Jay warned quietly, though I waved him off. I wouldn’t be the one to kill it anyway.

“I’m called Thorax, and the message was something about surrendering to the might of the hive and providing half of your population as tribute. There was also a bit about how we’ll take the entire population as our food if you resist,” Thorax responded.

“You are, by far, the worst drone I have ever encountered, you can’t even repeat your queen’s words verbatim,” Jay chastised as he walked up to the changeling and plucked it out of the air to hold it by its throat.

“At least he can be of use to us,” I suggested, “Such as telling us if his queen has an heir.”

“Queen Chrysalis keeps trying, but that hive damned traitor Chitin keeps killing them,” Thorax replied quickly, catching on that his lifespan was equal to his usefulness.

“Explain, how has this Chrysalis spawned more than one brood?” Jay ordered.

“Oh that old myth, we do that to ourselves when we’re in dire situations. Something about how we first originated and unicorns reading our minds. I don’t really understand it, but our queens can create lots of heirs. My queen only has one, but that one keeps killing all the others she tries to make,” Thorax continued, starting to ramble as Jay’s hand cracked the plate around his neck.

“This Chitin has formed a rival hive then?” I guessed.

“No, she’s not a full queen. Chitin hates us for some reason and won’t let us expand into further hives. One day we’ll find and kill her though, or at least the others will. I’ll be dead,” Thorax replied with an audible gulp.

“Jay, we should talk,” I stated, causing Jay to pass the bug into Abaddon’s custody while we turned away to discuss this situation in hushed tones.

“I won’t have a bug on my leviathan,” Jay declared.

“But I don’t see any good that’ll come from killing it, it’ll be a wasted effort and murder besides. It’s just a drone, forbid it from returning to the hive and let it wither away. Its blood won’t be on our hooves that way,” I countered, finding the idea of murdering the changeling over its species distasteful. The army in the badlands had been a military force, this was one failure being sent for us to execute, “I’d also prefer to avoid doing Chrysalis any favors.”

That did it, I could see Jay’s opinion change to one of peaceful resolution in an instant. It seemed he liked the idea of helping a changeling queen even less than I did.

“Good news Thorax, you get to see tomorrow,” Jay announced, “Mostly because I’m not going to do what your bitch of a mother wants.”

“Really, but-” Thorax attempted.

“You can’t return to the hive either, only death awaits you there. You’ve given us two of your secrets, they’ll make it slow,” I warned, cutting him off.

“Make up a new identity and live quietly, just make sure we know what you’ll look like so we don’t execute you as a spy on accident,” Jay added. He was always a fast planner.

“Uh okay, what about this one?” Thorax offered, becoming a blue pegasus with a trio of bees on his flank, “This way I don’t have to change my name.”

“It’ll work, just keep out of the way and make sure we know where you settle down. I’ll be contacting you for more information as needed, that’ll be your payment for being allowed to live,” Jay spat as he shooed the changeling away. He allowed himself to groan in frustration as Thorax fled northward, “Least relaxing day off of all time, what else could demand my attention?”

The sound of a heavy impact off my left side answered Jay’s question, though I dismissed the newest distraction as just another enforcer until it stood to its full height. It was much taller than the standard enforcer template, only an inch or so shorter than Jay, and definitely had the look of a female. The strange enforcer’s head also lacked the canine head shape shared by its kin, instead looking like a black skinned human. A female version of Jay, as though it was his daughter. Its feathered wings remained unfurled as though to make a hasty retreat if needed, though it appeared more angry than anything.

“There are changelings in my city,” the bioform declared, “A lot of them. No, shut the fuck up and let me talk for once. I don’t have the patience for your fucking games, you don’t think I know that you were going to leave me hanging at the meeting? I figured that shit out in minutes. These bugs though, they’re everywhere. I can’t turn one fucking corner without running into one, sometimes literally. Fix this shit so I can go back to avoiding you.”

“Must be getting pretty damn annoying to draw you out Six,” Jay commented, cluing me in to what was going on. This was the missing prototype enforcer, Dopple’s sister. The one that ran away hundreds of years ago. The original rogue enforcer. Tzu had told me his theories about her and how big of a threat she might be.

“Damn right they are, at least I can hide from Four’s idiots and go about my fucking day,” Six snapped, ruining the conspiracy theory forming in my mind. So much for her being the cause of all of this infighting.

“I’m working on it, though I only learned about them yesterday,” Jay replied neutrally, as though fishing for a reaction.

“Then you’re just as incompetent as Four, they’ve been pestering me for over a week,” Six spat.

“So you got fed up and came crying to daddy? What happened to being independent?” Jay asked, pushing back.

“Both of you STOP!” I snapped, startling both Jay and Six, “Jay, I will sick Cat on you if you don’t give her a hug and tell her it’ll be alright, that is your daughter. Six, please relax, nobody is going to hurt you.”

“Don’t touch me,” Six stated simply when Jay numbly took a step forward, causing him to stop and look between the two of us in confusion. I sighed loudly and took the initiative in his place, jumping into the air and wrapping my forelegs around Six’s neck while my wings kept my upper half aloft.

“I promised you safety, please believe that I try my best to keep those promises,” I reassured the large enforcer quietly. I smiled when I felt Six’s arms wrap around my body, allowing me to fold my wings as she took my weight.

“Okay Luna, I’ll trust you. But not him, Father doesn’t get to touch me. I don’t want him knowing my name,” Six whispered quietly, confusing me for a moment until I realized that she must live as a normal pony. A pony with real friends that would be hurt by this revelation.

“I know you heard that Jay, now’s the time when you say you wouldn’t do that,” I chided when Jay remained silent.

“But he would.”

“But I would.”

“Fine, no physical contact between the two of you. Abby, that goes for you as well, don’t push Six,” I instructed.

“He-He actually listened to you? There are too many things I don’t know, starting with why that red one looks caught between killing and kissing me,” Six commented in shock.

“That’s Fang, he likes everyone I like. Don’t touch him either,” I replied.

“This is too weird, how do you have this much power? Father never listens to ponies, and he hates your sister,” Six wondered aloud, “I should be running by now, I should be hunted.”

“I have no idea,” Jay replied, though not quite honestly.

“I’m getting him to open up and be a bit more caring, soon he’ll be just as emotionally capable as a pony,” I explained.

“Him? You expect him to care? Sorry sister, he doesn’t have a heart to thaw,” Six chided.

“You seem to,” I countered.

“Of course I do, I’m defective. No control genes, no emotional distance, no logical basis for my thought patterns, I’m barely even capable of calling myself an enforcer. Shit, the only reason I’ve been dealing with the ‘lings at all is because they were getting too close to my home and I don’t want my ma-” Six replied before cutting herself off abruptly, having said too much.

“Your marefriend was in danger?” I guessed, getting a shallow nod in return. Six looked embarrassed and ashamed of herself for giving that bit of information away so carelessly, “I snapped at Gilda about that a while back, but apparently lesbianism isn’t as big a deal as it was in my time. It used to mean that you were too ugly to attract a male. You’ll get no judgement from me, I’m happy you’ve found… somepony… You can love?”

I leaned away from Six as the revelation hit me, bracing my hooves on her shoulders to look her in the eye for any sign of deception. This had been a constant effort with Jay, how could Six do it so easily?

“I told you I was barely an enforcer, I’ve had all of my emotions the entire time. I’ve felt the pain from the deaths of my brothers and sisters every day since their genetics failed and I fled, thinking Four would be chosen as the template while I’d be discarded as another failure,” Six confessed, getting a bark of laughter from Jay.

“That’s exactly what would’ve happened, and the irony is that you’re the perfect example of what they should be,” Jay replied, his dark humor doing little to ease the tension.

“I hope you’ll trust us enough to introduce your marefriend someday, but I know I’d be getting worried by now if I was her,” I advised as I spread my wings and prompted Six to let go of me so I could return to the floor.

“I trust you, just not him. I can’t be sure he won’t use her for his own ends,” Six allowed before jumping into the air and shifting into an orange pegasus with a white mane and few other defining features. She looked more like an oil painting of a pony than a real one, but it would do at a glance, “Don’t follow me.”

With her goodbyes said, Six didn’t wait for us to reply before she flew off towards Canterlot.

“Changeling issue needs more attention,” Jay noted.

“Shut up, I’m thinking,” I snapped, mentally drowning in my dissemination of Six’s words. She had a life partner, but they weren’t married. She trusted me with the knowledge of who they were, but didn’t want Jay to know. I couldn’t honor her wishes and meet her family at the same time, as Jay would be able to see it in my mind the next time he attached himself to the bioform in my head. This then lead to another revelation, I couldn’t keep any secrets. That sent a cold shiver down my spine, he’d given me an enhanced memory and some rough telepathy at the cost of my privacy. It made me wonder if it had been as spontaneous as the situation had made it appear.

“Luna, hello, it’s been three minutes and you haven’t blinked,” Jay pointed out, startling me as I returned to awareness and discovered him scant inches from my nose.

“Just thinking. Did you design the thing in my head for Lily? Or for me?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

“Both, they have to be tailored to the host,” Jay replied instantly, either not understanding or simply avoiding my real question.

“I’ll rephrase, did you build the bioform in my head to keep me from having any secrets?” I clarified.

“No, nor do I use it for that. I could also have you eaten alive and replaced by an enforcer, which would be much easier if all I wanted was your connections and secrets,” Jay argued, becoming defensive. He did raise a good point though, replacing me would be easier.

“Would you use it to find Six’s marefriend?” I pressed.

“I don’t know. I don’t need that name, Six is exactly where I want her already. If I wanted the name, it would be out of idle curiosity,” Jay placated. I fixed him with a suspicious glare for a few seconds before huffing and letting it drop.

“Why can’t we stick to a plan and relax for a day?” I wondered as I let myself topple over and roll onto my back.

“Because the universe hates us,” Jay replied as he tipped backwards and fell into a seated position.

“Wanna try again tomorrow?” I proposed.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure Tzu doesn’t pester me with shit all day,” Jay agreed.

“Fang, I want you to turn away anyone who comes to our door tomorrow,” I instructed, doing my part as well.

“So what now? Do we grab a stack and start figuring shit out for the war or call it early? Up to you,” Jay offered.

“I already called it, remember? I’m ready to just go to bed early,” I replied.

“It’s barely past noon,” Jay pointed out.

“Then we can take a nap,” I countered with an irritated ear flick.

I smiled as Jay hauled himself back to his feet and walked over to pick me up. Though it had felt weird for Fang to hold me like this, I felt much more comfortable in Jay’s grip. Despite my misgivings about Jay’s motivations and interactions with others, he was kind and gentle with me. Perhaps he just needed a but more of a push to show the rest of the world that side of himself.

“Well, you’ve got me alone, what’s your real plan?” Jay asked as he carried me inside.

“A nap,” I repeated with a smile, “Perhaps another one of those back massages to help me relax enough to sleep?”

“Someday I might say no to you,” Jay warned as his fingers bent against my back and kneaded into my skin.

“But not today,” I countered as I brought my hoof down to push his hand further down my back. I knew Jay could navigate these hallways blind, at least with Abaddon’s guidance, so I wasn’t worried when my wing wandered around his neck to help me make my intentions clear. When I finally pulled away to breathe, I found that Jay was making his thoughtful face, “I know it’s against the rules, but we have real cause to celebrate and it’ll keep Tzu and the others off our backs for a few minutes.”

Jay sprouted another arm and looked at the ring adorning it as he considered my words. I expected more reluctance, even turning away to pout in an effort to persuade him. I was surprised when I felt teeth touch my ear as Jay nibbled on me to get my attention.

“Really? You aren’t going to fight me on this?” I confirmed hopefully.

“Not today, I’ll admit that this little thing is getting to me too. Just one thing though… this is going to sound weird, can I feel your heartbeat?” Jay requested nervously, catching me off guard. I didn’t mind him watching my pulse, it was his tone that threw me for a loop. I’d never known Jay to be nervous aside from our first time in bed.

“Of course you can, you don’t need my permission for that,” I replied immediately, though this only heightened the look of anxiety on Jay’s features. It occurred to me that Jay didn’t usually show his feelings either, this must’ve been important to him.

“I meant at the source,” Jay corrected, making me freeze before he added, “Like when I shifted in my sleep last night, something about that made me believe everything would be okay. I don’t know, forget I said anything.”

“Jay,” I began before deciding that words wouldn’t be enough and using my magic to pull his ring bearing hand into my hooves. I smiled up at him as I held it against my chest with both of my forehooves, “I trust you, even if Six doesn’t. What I said before still stands, you don’t need my permission to touch what already belongs to you.”

“Now who’s being sappy?” Jay teased.

“I’m claiming ambient magic. Now shut up and touch my heart,” I snapped playfully, soon feeling the foreign flesh worming between my ribs. It was strange and uncomfortable, but it didn’t hurt and the sensation faded quickly. I was left with a slight shortness of breath, but nothing I couldn’t ignore when I compared it to the joy of finally being on equal terms with my husband. I could return some of the comfort I found in him, and it was getting better little by little.

I tossed my head to bring my mane onto my shoulder and hauled myself up to press Jay’s face into the hair, knowing exactly how much he enjoyed the scent. I felt lips touch my neck as Jay tried to reciprocate my affections and returned them in kind with kisses of my own, our actions getting increasingly urgent and clumsy until we finally fell through the door to our room.

Neither of us were cognizant enough to try for the bed, so we settled for rolling around on the floor as we took turns showing each other how much they were loved.


Perspective Change: Vinyl


Slipping my glasses over my blood red eyes, I hit the play button on my Walkpony and bobbed my head as Tavi’s most recent recital filled my ears. Vinyl Scratch was finally going home.

“You get lost?” Tavi asked as I walked in and ditched my Walkpony. I was beyond words though, my mind could only comprehend one thing. One need. I spotted my target sitting at our dining room table with her usual companions, her ever present cello and a new book. Tavi squeaked adorably when she looked up from her book and was immediately greeted with a kiss that pushed us both onto the floor. Tavi batted at me after a few seconds, signaling that she was running out of oxygen. I released her lips and settled for her jawline as she made her thoughts known, “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah,” I replied simply between kisses to Tavi’s cheek.

“Vi, you can’t just drown your problems in sex, tell me what happened,” Tavi chastised as she pushed me off of her and sat up to look me in the eye. I cringed when she pulled my glasses off and set them aside, a sure sign that I’d scared her.

“There’s something here, in Canterlot, that’s starting to scare me. There are things out there Tavi, things that I haven’t seen since before we met,” I warned.

“We can move to Ponyville, we already have a house and furniture there. Jeff can deal with the changelings as they come, we’ll be safe there,” Tavi proposed, speaking quickly as panic overwhelmed her. I did my best to suppress my own fear as I saw it feeding Octavia’s, but the damage was done. Tavi was in full flight mode, her eyes were stuck to the horizon.

“Not that I’d argue this, but I’m not thrilled with the idea of being around Jeff all the time. I don’t think either of us could live with running away from this, not when our lives are here. We’d just have to come back for your performances anyway,” I responded, hating the words even as I spoke them. Walking all over the city had given me way too much time to think.

“Buck that, I’ll send a letter saying I’m sick with something contagious or just quit. Music isn’t worth your life Vi, it’s just noise,” Tavi insisted.

“You don’t believe that, you love playing your cello,” I argued, refusing to allow Octavia Melody to give up her passion. I balked when her hoof lashed out and snapped the neck of the instrument.

“No no no no no NO! It’s just a stupid piece of wood, a stupid piece of wood… stupid,” Tavi sobbed as she stomped on the remains until I pulled her away from the splintered cello. I’d never seen Octavia like this, I hated seeing her like this. All I could think to do was hold her close until she settled down enough for us to figure out what to do.

“Octavia?” I asked when my marefriend stopped heaving her sobs against my chest.

“I changed my mind, drowning our problems in sex sounds really good right now,” Tavi commented.

“I think we should stay, we should be safe if we stick together. We’re already inseparable, so I doubt anypony would notice. I’ll get you a new cello in the morning,” I stated gently, not daring to let go of Tavi for fear that she’d fade away. She was tangible as long as she was secure in my forelegs where nothing could ever hurt her, I couldn’t be as sure when I wasn’t holding her.

“Can you promise me that you’ll be safe?” Tavi asked shakily.

“I’ve survived ‘lings before, this can’t be that much different,” I responded with a shrug before leaning in and whispering, “Go for the wings, they break really easily.”

“Yes or no, Vinyl,” Tavi demanded.

“I’ll be fine, I’m scared for you,” I replied more clearly.

“I’m not, I know you’d burn every bridge we’ve built and tear them apart with your bare hooves to save me. That’s what worries me,” Tavi admitted.

“I would definitely try,” I agreed.

“We’ll do it your way then, at least for now. But I’m not budging on moving to Ponyville if things get too bad here,” Tavi relented.

“I can live with that,” I allowed with a nod, “I’ll get this mess cleaned up and start dinner.”

“I already cooked, yours is in the fridge,” Tavi replied as she rubbed the tears from her face and tried to fix where her mane had gotten messed up by my shoulder. I smiled and helped her smooth out her hair before retrieving her forgotten book, “Thanks Vi.”

“Sorry for making you lose your page,” I apologized as I walked to the closet to retrieve the broom and dustpan.

“It’s fine, not that good anyway. Velvet’s last one was better,” Tavi commented as she tossed the novel onto the table and wandered into the kitchen. She returned with my half frozen dinner just as I set about cleaning up the remains of the cello. I didn’t mind cold soup, but she pulled out one of our heating pads and reheated the meal anyway. It was hot and fit for a pony by the time I finished migrating the last splinters into the trash.

“Thanks Tavi,” I bid as I accepted the meal and tipped the bowl to my lips.

“I don’t care where we live or how many bits we have, we’ll survive as long as we’re together. As long as I have my Vi,” Tavi responded as she hugged me and nearly made me spill my soup. Out of everything I could’ve done with my life, all the places I’d been and people I’d met, Octavia was the only one that could warm my heart and stomach at the same time like that. I’d decided long ago that I’d follow her anywhere, be it to Canterlot or Ponyville or the depths of Tartarus. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, enough that I’d probably follow her into the next life when her time eventually came.
> Chapter 34: Court Jesting
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna


In retrospect, doing nothing loses its novelty very quickly. Not that our chosen activity wasn’t relaxing, cuddling and napping never really got old, but it did get boring after a while.

“Are you bored?” I finally asked.

“Not really, no. But I can relive my memories to pass the time, remember?” Jay replied, reminding me of what he had told me about his method of entertaining himself all those months ago.

“Hmm, well I am. Let’s go an an adventure,” I suggested.

“Such as?” Jay asked skeptically.

“Literally anything outside of this room. We could pick a fight with some demons, or hike up Mount Canter to pick a fight with Tia, or-” I rambled.

“I need to check in on the army’s training compounds, make sure they’re up to standards,” Jay interrupted.

“Or that. Bureaucracy sucks,” I complained.

“Don’t worry, you’ll miss these days once the war starts,” Jay warned.

“Really? That’s your go to when I gripe about being bored? Fuck off Jay,” I replied, though the ridiculousness did make me smile. Jay pulled back as I rolled onto my stomach and stretched before climbing out of the bed and arching my back, “Oh, that feels better. Dealing with Tia sounds more fun, I’ll take Twilight and meet up with you later.”

“Alright, I’ll take Tzu and Harry,” Jay replied, making me pause.

“So you’re admitting to your position in Tartarus?” I confirmed.

“No point keeping it hidden anymore, but you should swing by the senate in about an hour,” Jay hinted.

I grinned darkly at the thought of how the stuffy nobleponies would react to whatever Jay had planned, knowing it would be something over-the-top, “I’ll be there.”

“It’ll be one for the ages,” Jay promised.

“I’ll see you there then,” I agreed before walking out of the room as Jay stood and started walking towards where his armor rested. It still intrigued me that the protective gear could stand upright without a wearer, but I dismissed it as being designed so Jay could enter and exit it faster.

Fang didn’t need coaxing as he fell into place behind me like a traditional guard, even assuming the form of one of my neglected night guards. I’d need to check on them at some point and make sure they knew they weren’t forgotten. Fang’s disguise sprouted wings and slimmed to the typical dimensions of a pegasus when we reached the deck and I spread my wings to take off.

Twilight appeared to be waiting for me when we landed in front of her home, given how quickly she ran outside to greet us.

“Luna! I was starting to think that you wouldn’t be coming by today,” Twilight greeted, reminding me that I hadn’t fulfilled my promise of another lesson yet.

“Today will be a little different, my student. We’ll be going to Canterlot so you may witness how the old magic plays a role in modern politics,” I replied, realizing that I was still wearing my wedding band and passing it to Fang as inconspicuously as possible. I could only hope that it didn’t appear in any newspapers. Perhaps the way the guard’s torso opened like a massive toothy mouth to hide the bracelet would deter them.

“Politics? But I thought manipulation magic was forbidden in the Senate,” Twilight pressed.

“Perhaps it is, but I believe you’ll see how they get around that regulation. It’s quite fascinating,” I insisted as I charged a teleport.

I’d spent enough time in my chambers when I first arrived to learn where it was safe to appear, thus it became an easy choice as to where my teleport would take us.

“It still amazes me how easy long distance teleports are for you,” Twilight commented as she looked around the room and spotted the theme of the decorations, “Are these your chambers? I’ve never seen so many things with your cutie mark on them in one place before.”

“I suspect Tia has been having more made whenever she’s felt guilty. As if I need to be reminded what my cutie mark looks like, I see it fairly regularly,” I sighed.

“I don’t think that’s the point. Everything here is a testament to how much she regrets pushing you away,” Twilight pressed.

“And yet she tried to push me into the same role the very day I returned,” I countered, “I believe you’re right, my doubt is towards Tia’s ability to change. Her feelings are clear, but her actions continue to drive me away from her.”

Twilight fell silent as she followed me into the hallway and down a number of different passages before I admitted that I was lost and made Fang lead us to the courtroom.

“Are you sure? It’s sad that the two of you aren’t friends,” Twilight confirmed.

“Twilight,” I sighed as I brought our group to a halt, “I know you’re trying to do the right thing, and I applaud you for it, but I do not believe I’ll be able to be friends with my sister until I’ve finished cleaning up her mess. Even then, it may depend on how many of our ponies die in this war she’s brought upon us. I may never be able to forgive her for the loss of life.”

“I-I see,” the unicorn replied sadly.

“That doesn’t mean I won’t try, she is still my sister,” I allowed, brightening Twilight’s spirits slightly.

“Ehem,” a voice coughed, clearly trying to get our attention. Fang whirled around and snarled before calming and nodding in greeting, though at what I couldn’t tell.

“Yes?” I asked the empty air, internally questioning how certain I was that ghosts didn’t exist. Twilight too looked disturbed by the sound’s lack of owner.

“She’s not in the courtroom,” the air stated, making a chill run up my spine.

“Then where is she?” I pressed, switching gears to question my own sanity. I was talking to nothing and expecting a reaction.

“How should I know? I’m a damn wall, all I know is who has passed me today,” the voice snapped. Things started fitting into place in my mind, all those reports I’d gone through had to come from somewhere.

“It would seem that the walls really do have ears,” I commented with a relieved smile, “Thank you India, we’ll try her chambers next.”

“Luna?” Twilight asked shakily, “I used to sleep here.”

“I doubt any of them were tasked with following you,” I lied. I had seen Twilight’s files, every step and action she’d taken during her time in the castle had been cataloged and recorded. I counted seven hundred pages on her bowel movements alone, though why those had been kept or transcribed at all was still a mystery. Perhaps for signs of illness?

Twilight went quiet again as she rethought her childhood, numbly following Fang and I towards Tia’s rooms. An errant thought burned in my mind at that, why did I only have one room in the castle? Why did Tia need twelve? I dismissed the building animosity by reminding myself that the royal chambers of the Infernal Palace were quoted to me in square miles. Tia could go fuck herself, I had more rooms. Bitch.

The door to Tia’s apartment was strangely devoid of guards, a detail that set my nerves on edge until I summoned my scythe and gestured for Fang to be watchful. I felt silly immediately after I returned my hoof to the floor, Fang was always alert. We were waved towards the wall next to the door by our enforcer escort before he jumped onto the wall and stuck there like a spider.

Fang crawled across the stone while Twilight and I got into place. I could see his plan already, we would be hidden by the door once it opened and Fang would be free to engage any threats on the other side without having to worry about me. Truth be told, I was more worried about what Fang would do to anypony on the other side of the tall wooden door.

Fang hissed his disapproval when I left Twilight in the shadow of the door and stood in the open, but he didn’t fight my decision to face whatever might have been waiting for us. With little warning other than Fang’s hoof reaching down to grab the top of the door, the massive slab of oak and walnut swung open to reveal a mostly uninhabited space.

Uninhabited with two noteworthy exceptions, Tia and Dawn sat across from each other in a small space that looked to be designed for lunch dates. It even had nice lighting and a small table built into the wall for two ponies to sit and chat over a meal. I wondered if I had a breakfast nook somewhere before recognizing that the pair had been arguing before I made my paranoia fueled entrance.

“Luna? Why are you armed?” Tia asked slowly, an edge of fear entering her voice.

“Calm yourself sister, I suspected foul play when I saw your guards were absent,” I bid before adjusting the door so Twilight could enter the conversation as well. Fang didn’t need any assistance in making himself known, he simply dropped from the wall and landed with a grace I didn’t think he had until then. Jay had always gone for hard landings, but Fang hadn’t made a sound when his hooves touched the marble floor.

Tia relaxed when I teleported Nightbane back into storage, now confident that it wouldn’t be needed, “So what brings you here today?”

“I’ve been teaching Twilight the old spells and tricks, you might call this a field trip to see how they’re used in politics to this day. A show of practicality, if you will,” I explained.

“Like that thing you used to do where you’d teleport straight up so you didn’t have to do math?” Tia teased.

“That was one thing we discussed, yes. I seem to recall you using the same trick a time or two,” I shot back.

“I can’t deny its usefulness, but it was still borne of laziness,” Tia insisted.

“Isn’t all magic though?” I countered, silencing Tia’s ribbing. She knew I had an unassailable position there, nothing she could say had a hope of surviving my multitudes of examples. Magic was an art, and did take a lot of effort, but it all still revolved around not getting your hooves dirty.

“So why are you in my room? And why did you bring some guard with you?” Tia asked with a sigh, changing the subject so she wouldn’t have to admit I won.

“Can I not catch up with my only sister while we wait for the senate hearing to begin?” I replied.

“Sure, maybe either you or your entourage can help me figure out Dawn’s first name,” Tia allowed.

“So it isn’t ‘Chained’? That was a lie?” I confirmed.

“Yes, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. We’ve been going back and forth on this since that last meeting,” Tia replied.

“It’s something of a game at this point,” Dawn added with a grin.

“Couldn’t you just look it up?” I asked.

“That’s cheating, and so is asking Twilight,” Dawn responded.

“Hi Aunt Dawn,” Twilight greeted quietly, looking supremely uncomfortable with being so close to Tia and I as we argued. This caught my attention as I looked towards my student, something about her reaction seemed excessive.

“Twilight, do you have any siblings?” I asked as I led her over to Tia’s nook and found a place where I could rest my back against something and still see Tia and Dawn when I sat.

“My big brother,” Twilight replied, “And I guess Cadence is kinda like a sister to me.”

“Shining Armor, the captain of the guard,” Tia clarified, though I already knew this.

“I see, and do you and Shining ever fight?” I continued as I sat down and pulled Twilight into my lap. Twilight settled in quickly and leaned back against me as she thought, as I often sat with her like this during our lessons so she could see my example spells take form firsthoof.

“Not really, it’s usually over simple things and Mom cracks down on them pretty quickly,” Twilight answered after she’d had a moment to think it over.

“Sometimes with a frozen waffle,” Tia chuckled, making me laugh as well as I recalled the incident from several months ago.

“Right, well, Tia and I fight a lot but I’d say it’s better than the alternative,” I explained.

“Cough cough, tried to kill everypony, cough cough,” Tia added, prompting me to toss her a quick glare for her lack of subtlety.

“Yes...that. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but it’s working better than it used to,” I concluded.

“But what about that thing you said when we arrived? About how you might never forgive her for what she’s done?” Twilight pressed, causing Tia’s breath to catch. I ignored Twilight’s question for the moment and turned my head to face my sister, figuring that I could address both issues at once. We’d have a talk about privacy later.

“Celestia, you’ll always be my sister and I love you, but I fucking hate everything you’ve done to me and the world. The bullying and trouble you got me in when we were young? I can forgive you for those. Driving me into insanity? Perhaps someday I’ll forgive that too. Your indifferent attitude towards the death of my only friend at the time? I will never forgive you for that. What you’ve done to cause this war and the blood that you’ve spilled on both of our hooves? We’ll see,” I listed, making Celestia flinch with every sin I rattled off, “But beyond all of that, beyond every beating you earned me and all the death to come, we’re still family. Broken and dysfunctional, but family.”

“Would stepping down help? Losing this leg has given me a new perspective on what truly matters. I’ll still die when this is over if I continue as I’ve been going, either by Jekyll getting his revenge or those rogue monsters deciding I’m not useful anymore. I’d at least get to do one thing right if I could save my ponies from the horrors of war,” Tia asked as she looked down at where her leg used to be.

“It might, but not yet. Jay’s working a few angles to weaken their support and hopefully get them to back out, taking control and bringing his forces to bear in our defence might end up being the final straw in changing their minds. But that’ll come later, when it no longer matters,” I mused, trying to hold back as much as possible while still giving Tia some hope for the future. When that didn’t seem to work, I tried a subject change, “Weren’t you going to get a prosthetic?”

“It’s over there somewhere,” Celestia replied, gesturing vaguely with her stump.

“Somewhere?” I quoted, “Tia, how long has it been since you left this apartment?”

“Four days,” Dawn replied sternly, her feelings on the matter clear in her tone.

“Why?” Twilight asked.

“Guilt, Tia had a bit of a breakdown after her leg was removed and confessed everything she’d ever done wrong,” I explained.

“It wasn’t a breakdown, I finally saw the truth. Our parents thought themselves gods and raised us to believe the same, but then I lost a piece of myself I could see. Not some muscles in my back that are out of sight, but a part necessary for day to day life. And I lost it to a germ, Jekyll’s equivalent of urine no less. That stupid virus in his blood, I was careless and I paid the price... I’m always careless and paying the price,” Celesia continued, seeming to shrink in on herself.

I thought it was a trick of the light or my imagination until Dawn and Twilight shared a gasp of alarm. Celestia actually was shrinking, growing smaller until she stopped at about the size I was before Jay helped me regain my confidence. Celestia’s confidence was shattered.

“Oh shit,” I swore.

“WHAT IN TARTARUS JUST HAPPENED?” Dawn demanded.

“WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON?” Twilight asked in panic at the same time.

“Moon and stars, Tia…” I commented sympathetically.

“Why are you still here? Just leave me to die already,” Tia snapped.

“Luna please, I have to know what’s going on?” Dawn insisted, reminding me that she was Celestia’s steward and unofficial caretaker.

“As I understand it, alicorns are more in tune with the natural magics of the land than even unicorns. However, this goes both ways. Our emotions shape us just as easily as our thoughts shape the earth and heavens, our ego being a major factor in our stature. Tia’s confidence is no more, and so her size has adjusted to match,” I explained, “There are other risks, such as that same natural magic changing us in different ways depending on the situation. Oh...Oh, I-um-I, uh, I need to go panic for a bit.”

“Hold on, what is going on now?” Dawn snapped, her patience clearly running thin. I was too busy hyperventilating at the thought of what a full scale war on Equestrian soil would do to the ambient magic. Would I be strong enough to keep myself from becoming something else?

“War,” I whispered, not trusting my voice.

“Oh shut up, Starswirl proved that nonsense wrong ages ago. You just never got the updated texts,” Tia spat before hunching away and smacking herself on the side of her head.

“Oh thank the stars, but then why do our emotions change our bodies?” I wondered.

“That part was mostly correct, it has to do with our massive increase in power compared to the other races. Emotions are powerful, and we subconsciously affect ourselves with them,” Celestia replied more calmly.

“At least that isn’t as terrifying,” I allowed, letting my relief enter my voice. Our little group fell silent for a few minutes as we each tried to figure out what to do. I broke the silence with a bad idea, “Tia, would you be willing to start over?”

“In what way?” Celestia asked without looking at the rest of us.

“An emotional way. Rebrand yourself, be the princess I know you could be if you tried. Make friends, have fun, that sort of thing,” I proposed.

“Luna, are you asking me to be your student?” Celestia confirmed.

“If it would help you, I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” I replied.

“Come here, look me in the eye and tell me that you could keep your feelings towards me out of your lessons,” Tia requested, prompting me to nudge Twilight out of my lap and stand. I did as my sister asked and walked right up to where she was hunched over; though instead of tears, I was met with a solid hoof to my left eye socket.

Celestia’s only remaining forehoof reared back to hit me again, but was halted by a clawed hand grabbing the limb, Fang had shed his disguise and entered the scuffle.

“Fang, this fight is past due, let it happen,” I ordered through gritted teeth. I caught Celestia’s next punch and ripped her from her seat as I threw her across the room, causing her lame wings to fall free of their harness and pool to either side of her when she stood. I hoped Tia had enough sense to keep the fight physical, as neither Fang nor I would react well to her use of offensive spells.

Tia’s wings glowed as she retucked them, though the chestpiece they were attached to cracked when I closed the distance and drove my shoulder into the regalia. Celestia slid backwards across the floor before dropping to her knees and struggling to regain her breath.

Twilight appeared between us as I pulled my hoof back to knock my sister out, “Stop! Please!”

My hoof halted mere inches from her face, but Twilight showed no fear. Her mind was on Tia and I, what we were doing to each other.

“Feel better yet, sister?” I asked.

“Buck you, bucking whore,” Celestia spat.

“Then I suggest you retrieve your other leg so you may fight me properly,” I allowed, taking a step back to show my commitment to the ceasefire,

“Why do you have to fight?” Twilight demanded, her cheeks wetting as she cried.

“This isn’t a fight, it’s penance. We’ll see if Celestia can put up more resistance with four legs,” I growled.

“It’s not right,” Twilight wept as Dawn pulled her back towards safer parts of the room. Celestia returned with a skeletal leg of iron and wood a moment later and the fight was back on.

“No magic,” I warned when Celestia’s horn started to glow. A sharp head tilt towards Fang reinforced my warning and Celestia’s spell dissipated.

“Just hooves then,” Celestia agreed as she paced sideways. I thought it odd that her false leg fit her smaller frame, but cast the question aside for the moment. She’d probably just used some spell I didn’t know to shrink it.

Celestia’s clumsy lunge met my shoulder as I pushed back, intending to topple her. Instead I found myself airborne for a moment before my back collided with the floor. Celestia’s false leg pressed into my throat an instant later, cutting off my oxygen.

“Going for the kill, sister?” I mocked breathlessly before kicking her off of me and getting back to my hooves.

Again and again we clashed, delivering a few blows before tossing each other across the room. We were both bruised and bloody by the time Fang stopped us, though Tia’s breath was ragged with exertion by then as well.

“You’re out of shape,” I noted, ignoring the hand on my chest as I threw verbal jabs.

“Buck off, we can’t all be as lucky as you,” Tia spat, we maintained our glare for another two seconds before I smiled and Tia started laughing. I pushed Fang off and helped Tia get her prosthetic off before her growth caused the straps to cut into her.

“If it works, it isn’t insane,” Dawn commented, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself.

“Twilight, are you doing better now?” I asked, noticing that my student had stopped crying.

“No,” Twilight replied quietly.

“It’s been a while since I got a workout like that,” Tia grunted as she bent her broken wing back into shape and healed the bone with a quick spell, though I was moving to sit in front of Twilight.

“And that’ll conclude our demonstration of the oldest magic to ever exist, along with its use in politics,” I declared, causing Twilight to look up sharply and narrow her eyes.

“Neither of you used magic,” Twilight pointed out.

“Before our grandparents ascended, the biggest issues were solved by having the ideological leaders beat the feathers off of each other until one side gave up. It still works that way in some smaller countries,” Tia explained, “Many call it the oldest magic.”

“You brought me here to watch you fight?” Twilight confirmed.

“Absolutely not, we’re here to watch Jay mess with the nobles. He promised that it would be a good one,” I replied.

“Ooh, that sounds like fun,” Tia agreed, “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all, though you may want to get cleaned up,” I suggested.

“You’re lucky your fur covers bruises so well,” Tia commented.

“Yeah, yours makes them stand out even more,” I teased before tapping into my wider base of healing spells and removing Tia’s blemishes. I ignored my own wounds, as I could feel Fang quietly knitting them back together.

“I still didn’t enjoy having to see that,” Twilight complained.

“Then you’ll get two lessons today, the second being that the world isn’t always as nice and kind as it appears. In that same breath, one cannot escape the truth that there will always be things we’d rather not see. Avoiding them won’t make them go away, they must be confronted and dealt with. Sometimes this will be accepting a hard truth, sometimes it will be a threat. I’ve seen how you handle threats, difficult truths can be even more of a challenge,” I lectured, though Twilight didn’t take any notes this time.

“I think I’d rather go home,” Twilight requested.

“No,” I replied simply.

“What? You can’t keep me here like this,” Twilight protested, her shock and depression turning to outrage.

“I can and I will, hiding in a bubble of comfort will only hurt you in time. I find that a firm kick in the ass is good and necessary from time to time,” I rebutted as I lifted my student and carried her along in my telekinetic aura.

“I’ve noticed the same trend, that’s part of why I sent our Twilight to Ponyville to begin with,” Tia agreed as she caught up and walked on my other side. Fang returned to looking like an unremarkable night guard and followed along behind us with Dawn by his side, only gaining any attention when the insane enforcer would hiss threateningly at any of Tia’s guards that dared attempt to join our procession.

Our conversations lightened as we walked, turning to things of lesser importance and even getting Twilight to end her grumbling and even join in after a time. Dawn seemed more subdued, as though there was something on her mind that she wasn’t comfortable sharing. Twilight had referred to her as an aunt, and the reports had Crimson calling her a childless mother. Troubling indeed, but for a later time. Now was one of amusement at the expense of a room full of senators that hadn’t had fun since… ever.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
One Hour Ago


Luna was learning the politics of Tartarus remarkably well, but she’d never be capable of wielding it to its full potential. She just wasn’t mean enough. Her heart was too big for her to casually dismember her debate opponents, such as I was doing right now. It was Garsatef’s fault anyway, he knew better than to challenge my policy on invading the surface. Approaching me without consulting Harry or calling a hearing were just two more reasons to put the cocky greater back in his place.

“That was a bit faster than usual, Boss,” Harry noted idly, prompting Tzu to scoff in derision towards his subterranean counterpart.

“Lord Jekyll may do as he pleases, demon. You will not question his will,” Tzu snapped.

“Simmer down, Harry’s a friend,” I chided as Garsatef burned to nothingness. Turning to Harry, I added, “I’m on a schedule. Give me two rippers and get ready to see the sunlight, we’re going to Canterlot as a Tartaran delegation.”

“By the pits, you can’t be serious. We’ve had a strict anti-invasion po-” Harry attempted.

“And you’ll keep it, but word is starting to get out and I like to stay a step ahead. We’ll go in, scare the proverbial pants off of them, and leave them wondering which way is sideways once we’re gone,” I interrupted.

“So you’ll want us to walk out with you and stand there while you make a fool of yourself,” Harry predicted.

“Damn skippy,” I agreed.

“Sir I-” Tzu managed before I picked him up by his neck and held him a few inches off the ground. Though I knew I wasn’t hurting him, the display of dominance would add an extra weight to my words.

“You need to calm down, you’re becoming increasingly confrontational and it’s starting to piss me off. I understand that you’re under a lot of stress, that’s why you exist, but you do not get to take it out on everyone around you. You do not have the right to talk down to the one demon I trust with my country,” I growled before dropping Tzu. The enforcer landed easily on his feet and took an ashamed step back while his eyes remained low and submissive, “Take an India squad to spread out the work and bounce ideas off the Sierras if you have to, just watch yourself before you incite the kind of animosity that caused this ridiculous war in the first place. And don’t let the eggheads name anything.”

“I understand sir, I’m sorry,” Tzu apologized as he continued walking backwards until he reached the wall, where he remained in silence for several minutes. I looked up in time to see Harry walk in with two much larger rippers trailing behind him, though I hadn’t heard him leave.

“We’re ready when you are, sir,” Harry announced.

“Excellent, only forty minutes ahead of schedule,” I replied, “Go ahead and relax until the time comes, I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”

“You got it boss,” Harry responded before wandering over to one of the grand couches and sitting down. Tzu bristled for an instant before he caught himself and took a deep breath, evidently seeing the demon sprawl out on the exquisite furniture had offended him. I could see why, Harry was acting as though he lived in these chambers instead of down the hall; as if we were the guests in his home. I gave Tzu a warning look, but didn’t press the matter.

“Sir? Are you sure this is a wise course of action?” Tzu asked after a couple minutes of silently studying the unfamiliar room. I knew that tick, he was scared and looking for architecture he could use to his advantage.

“Nope, only time can give me that answer. I’m not too worried, they don’t have many options on how to deal with it. They can’t condemn me without exposing the reason I own Tartarus in the first place, so they’ll have to grudgingly accept it. The news will love the spectacle and cause the laypony to question everything they knew about Tartarus and demons. In short, it’ll most likely cause more than enough chaos for Discord to have a stroke,” I predicted.

“I meant keeping me as your proxy,” Tzu clarified.

“Stand on your head,” I ordered casually, prompting the enforcer to give me a confused look as he obeyed, “Hold that position until I’m finished, then you can return to a normal stance. I’d still have Dopple if he hadn’t gotten this notion of rebellion into his head and his control genes out of his cells. I like confrontation and stubbornness, that’s why Dee recommended you in the first place. The only issue is that you’re venting your frustration towards inappropriate targets at inappropriate times. I don’t know how many ways I can say the same thing: keep fighting me on things, but don’t go looking for fights with others.”

“You don’t see me as falling into the same trap as Dopple?” Tzu confirmed.

“No, I see you exhibiting the traits that made him my proxy in the first place,” I stated firmly.

“Thank you… Father,” Tzu replied gratefully as he returned to his feet in one fluid motion.

“Don’t get sappy now,” I chided jokingly.

“Hmph,” one of the larger rippers grunted rudely.

“Something to say?” I asked as I spun to stare the demon down and drew my hammer at the same time, “Or were you looking to pick a fight with the nerd?”

Tzu clumsily took the absurdly heavy warhammer as I shoved it into his hands, though he quickly adapted to managing its weight and stepped forward with my favorite weapon.

“No my lord, I meant no offense,” the ripper placated as he kneeled submissively. Apparently this particular ripper hadn’t gotten the memo informing all of the guards not to bow to me, so I kicked him in the face.

The guard hadn’t been far from the wall, which resulted in his head bouncing off of the abyssanite with a painful crack. I took my hammer back from Tzu and set the head on the dazed ripper’s ankle to pin him in place while I asked what should have been a simple question.

“Why did I strike you?”

“I spoke out of turn. My sincerest apologies, my lord,” the ripper apologized. I looked to the other guard, though the ripper looked ready to bolt at any moment despite being twice my current size. His eyes held some sympathy though, he knew the pinned guard had guessed incorrectly.

Without lifting my hammer, I twisted the haft ninety degrees counterclockwise. I heard Tzu mutter something about pertinent information when he saw the action and the lack of movement at the head of the weapon.

“Try again,” I instructed.

“I was rude towards your favored spawn?” the ripper guessed. I lifted the haft of my hammer, leaving the head behind, and flipped it in my grip so the pointed end of the handle revealed itself to be the tip of a spear.

“Do you know the history of this weapon? How one of precision and skill became another of brutality and utility? No? It’s the same story that resulted in me hating it when others bow to me, you should go find someone who has the time to tell it to you,” I suggested before driving the point through the ripper’s heart, a demon that stupid and prone to outbursts wouldn’t be useful for this mission anyway.

“You did ask for big ones, that doesn’t always mean smart ones,” Harry called from behind me.

“One intelligent and imposing guard should be plenty to keep them out of my realm,” I allowed, though the gesture would now be asymmetrical and off-putting to the bureaucrats. Perhaps it was better that way, even more likely to freeze them in their seats while I presented my case.

Thirty minutes still remained, plenty of time to get just drunk enough to make the worst possible impression without killing anyone.


Perspective Change: Luna


I didn’t bother hiding the smile caused by all the murmuring our arrival caused among the senate. They had been completely thrown off by the arrival of both of their diarchs, as though they were trying to figure out if they had done something illegal while simultaneously discussing the proper etiquette for dealing with two princesses. It was quite amusing.

“Are you listening, Twilight? See how they’re thrown into chaos by our mere presence? All it takes is a break from the norm to ruin their day,” I pointed out.

“I see that, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn from it,” Twilight replied.

“There are many things you could take from this scene. You could note that they are too stuck in their ways to deal with the slightest change. You could then extrapolate that this is why Equestria hasn’t technologically or socially progressed to any noticeable degree in the last thousand years. You could look at them and realize that there isn’t any laughter in their lives, that the few friends they have are tentative at best and are also seated in this room. Politicians live for power, but somehow remain the weakest among us. A true leader hates the power they wield, but does so anyway for the sake of those they care about,” I explained.

“You really think Jekyll hates his political power?” Tia snarked.

“I know he does, he refuses to take an active role in his country. Everything else is either a calculated move to do as little damage as possible or a simple reaction to a threat,” I responded easily.

“And if he deposed me? What then?” Tia pressed, her temper flaring as I confronted her preconceptions.

“We briefly discussed this a few weeks ago, his plan would be to prop you right back up as regent in his stead,” I argued, inventing the outcome on the spot. It did sound like something Jay would do though.

“So why are we really here?” Twilight asked pointedly, seemingly both sickened by the sad ponies of the senate and bored at the same time.

Twilight had turned away from the other ponies in the room to address me, just missing the start of the show. I didn’t have to answer, as I could see her ears twitch in confusion when the room fell into a deathly silence. Twilight’s jaw fell open when she turned and saw the same thing that had the rest of us transfixed.

The point of a bone white blade was jutting out of the wall, though that wasn’t the chief concern. The most eye catching part of the display was the way the wall around the blade had burst into flames and begun dripping molten stone onto the marble floor, yet somehow seemed to avoid damaging anything. As we watched, the blade pushed even further out of the wall and slid down, creating a larger ring of fire and artificial lava. It retracted and disappeared just before it could hit the floor, but was quickly replaced with armored fingers that pushed the hole open and distorted reality around the fissure.

Standing in the impossible hole in reality was Jekyll, his eyes glowing red in the low light of the room on the other side of the breach. He was still wearing his armor and weapons, giving him the appearance of the warlord he once was.

“I understand that there have been a few rumors going around about me, specifically that I’m the King of Tartarus,” Jay began seriously as he walked through the hole and looked out at the assembled senators.

There was a pregnant silence as none of the ponies were willing to speak up, at least until I took the initiative and did it for them, “Have you come to answer these accusations?”

“In a way, but there are other rumors to address as well. The one that Princess Luna and I are dating, and the one about my relation to a unicorn mare named Rose Lily. There are others, but they’re stupid and not worth my time,” Jay continued as he sauntered around the room to leer at any senators that looked ready to bolt, his glare making it clear that they would be better off sitting still.

“Well then, get on with it,” I ordered, feigning disinterest. This was absolutely hilarious, I doubted any of these politicians had ever had cause to be afraid of anything in their lives and they weren’t handling it well. I spared a quick glance at Tia to see her reaction and found her biting one of the struts on her false leg to keep from laughing aloud. Twilight looked stunned, her entire body frozen as she watched draconian politics unfold before her eyes.

“To begin with the last one: yes, I did adopt Rose Lily and her family some years ago. How this gives her the right to marry a noble will come into play as we progress. Your Princess of the Night and I are courting one another, that one is true as well. Again, the legalities of this will be explained. And now for the one you’ve been waiting ever so patiently for, am I the reigning king of Tartarus?” Jay revealed, stolling around the room before circling back in front of the blazing hole in the wall.

Tzu stepped through the hole first and took his position on Jay’s right side, soon followed by Harry taking his place behind Jay’s left shoulder. On top of this, another, larger, ripper followed as well and stood as a guard on the side of the portal closer to the senate ponies as the trio moved away from the wall and stole what little remained of everypony’s attention by casually walking into the very center of the pulpit.

“Yes, I conquered the realm of demons and took it for myself. Rose Lily and her family are nobles equivalent to lesser princes and princesses,” Jay declared, raising his voice slightly before dropping it to a conversational tone, “Anyone curious about what that’s like?”

Twilight’s ears raised on reflex at the possibility of learning something new, which was enough for Jay to grin widely as his wings shot out from under the cape affixed to the back of his armor.

“Great, let me tell you all a little about my kingdom. See, a minotaur’s my butler...” Jay began as he started an over the top sweeping dance around the room, complete with aggressive leans forward and back that would toppel anyone else as his arms spread whenever the chorus would hit. I couldn’t help grinning as I watched Jay relax and inject fun into the senate hall for what was likely the first time since it had been constructed.

“That,” Tia commented quietly, “You sleep with that.”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way. You really should lighten up, dear sister, it’s silly and fun,” I replied before returning my attention to the floor to see Jay lean into one senator’s face and make sure he knew that the unfortunate unicorn couldn’t take Tartarus away from him.

“Alllllright, how’s everypony feeling today? Did that unjam a few sticks from some of your asses?” Jay asked casually once his ridiculous song ended and he collapsed onto the first row of desks, “No? Well fine, fuck you then. At least I can say that I tried. Hey, do me a favor though and make sure the papers print my good side when they butcher their reports about what happened here. Great, thanks.”

Twilight finally cracked at that point, erupting into laughter as her legs failed her and she fell against the railing we’d been watching from.

“See why I wanted you to come? This kind of reveal could only be hilarious,” I declared.

“Their faces, did you see their faces?” Twilight gasped as her lungs fought for oxygen.

“Somewhere between too many lemons and entropic constipation, I’d say,” Tia noted with no lack of amusement herself.

“Hmm, I think they look more like a cross between a bunch of monks as they watch their cathedral burn and a firepony who just realized he accidentally committed arson. With all of that being the same situation,” I argued. Though my voice didn’t raise in the slightest, Jay seemed to take note of where I was and dove off of the desk to rebound off the wall and land on our balcony.

“There you… three-five are, enjoy the show?” Jay asked, his jovial mood still present and infectious as his blood.

“A bold strategy, walking in here with actual demons and giving them the truth,” Tia allowed, some grudging respect showing on her face.

“The rumors were getting around anyway, this way the headline gets muddy and conflicting,” Jay revealed.

“Bullshit, you saw an opportunity to have fun and took it,” I pointed out, getting a guilty smile in return.

“As entertaining as this distraction has been, I assume the three of you will be leaving now?” Tia assumed, her tone implying that our welcome had worn out.

“What in Tartarus is THAT?!” an aid cried in alarm. Both Jay and I looked over to rebuke the mare for asking such an obvious question when we saw that her eyes were directed towards a nearby window and her face was illuminated by something outside. I noticed that something was off and dove from the balcony before Jay started moving, discovering a massive pillar of light in the distance. I heard Jay land behind me and sigh as he saw the same sight.

“That’s… a lot bigger than when Arcane blew up Brismane. Tzu, get back to Abaddon and send fifty squads to investigate. Gammas only for this one, I want whatever did this taken down and in custody by noon tomorrow,” Jay barked, sending Tzu flying through a different window and speeding towards Ponyville and the leviathan stationed there.

“Three hundred of your guards to check out one pillar of light?” I confirmed before seeing the secondary effect, “Ah, you intend to swarm the area and discourage any foreign spies from taking action while at the same time making it clear that it wasn’t a weapons test.”

“You’re getting eerily good at that,” Jay praised with a grin.


Perspective Change: Celestia


I didn’t know why that simple exchange chilled me to my core. Perhaps it was how casually they discussed the destruction of an entire town that forced me to confront how far removed my sister and I were from one another. Or maybe it was how Luna came to Jekyll’s aid before anypony could doubt him. Her timing on the comment had made it seem genuine, to the point that I almost missed its true purpose.

I was so far out of my league and surrounded on all sides by enemies, yet somehow Luna had allied herself with the strongest faction without even trying. I knew the truth, of course, she was being groomed to take my place after Jekyll killed me, it would be remiss of him to neglect conditioning her to support his decisions.

Something tapping my nose broke me from my thoughts, “Yo, you alive in there?”

“Obviously,” I snapped as I pulled away and rubbed the spot where Jekyll had touched me. I’d need a bath after this, just to be sure.

“Damn,” Jekyll swore, “Oh well, a guy can dream. Anyhow, I’m heading off to make sure the Equestrian army isn’t teaching the recruits to kill the enemy with kindness and hugs.”

“Are you feeling alright, Tia? You look troubled,” Luna asked as she came up to stand by my side while I watched that monster walk through the burning hole with his demonic guards and seal it behind him. Many of the senate ponies seemed fascinated by the way the portal had gone without a trace, not even a scorch mark on the marble to show it had ever been there.

Demon magic, the tools of the greatest enemy the world had ever known, had been twisted and remade into a simple means of conveyance by that confounding shapeshifter.

“No, I’m not alright. I don’t know if I’ve ever been further from alright,” I snarled before catching myself and taking a breath. Luna, for her part, appeared unfazed by my outburst and simply gave me a blank stare, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”

“I’m aware, but your temper is nothing new to me. What do you say we discuss it over tea?” Luna offered, her tone softening.

“Do you know where the kitchens are?” I teased with a thin smile, finding the jab too easy to pass up.

“I’ll rephrase: I’m absconding with Twilight to get something to drink and then raiding your private library, you are welcome to join us,” Luna countered, making me fight back a snicker.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Twilight asked, though she had perked up at the mention of a library.

“No,” Luna and I replied in unison before Luna finally broke her flat expression and laughed, “Of course you have a choice Twilight, t’was merely a jest.”

“Are you sure about that? You had to ask-” Twilight began before Luna interrupted her.

“I’m quite aware of my inability to navigate this castle, but my loyal guard has no such issues,” Luna replied, speaking quickly as though she was hiding something.

It wasn’t difficult to guess at what was being kept from me, she had obviously gotten help from one of the spies Jekyll had placed in the castle. I’d spotted a couple of them in the past few months, but hadn’t made a scene. I couldn’t afford to confront them, they might’ve been the only thing keeping the rogues from replacing me.

“So, did you have a particular section of my library you wanted to explore?” I asked, changing the subject. Hopefully Luna would notice the gesture and remember it when I needed something.

“Titles,” Luna replied cryptically before elaborating, “I simply want to peruse the titles for a new spell to work on with Twilight.”

“Have you covered scrying yet?” I asked idly as we collectively began to wander towards the kitchen.

“Good idea, that’s a useful one,” Luna agreed, taking my question as a suggestion.

“Magically spying on ponies? That sounds wrong,” Twilight commented.

“It’s immeasurably useful during a crisis. Imagine one of your friends got lost in the forest, you could scry them and know exactly where they were instead of searching blindly,” Luna pointed out.

“Or figure out if a colt likes you before trying to talk to him,” I added, making Luna wince. I sent a silent thanks to the heavens that Luna hadn’t caught me doing the same thing when we were young.

“Yes, that is a misuse of the spell, but a valid example nonetheless,” Luna conceded.

“Is that why it isn’t recorded in normal books?” Twilight asked curiously.

“Let’s just say that scrying can be used for worse things than watching a stallion try to psyche himself up while talking to a mirror. Corporate espionage or learning a pony’s pattern so you can steal from them would be a couple examples of how the spell could be used for evil,” Luna explained.

“What do you use it for?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t,” Luna replied, “But I did use a variant of it to attack the seals holding the Crystal Kingdom in limbo.”

“You what?” I asked, having been only half listening.

“I weakened the seals on the Crystal Kingdom so it would come back sooner, it was the right thing to do,” Luna repeated.

So that was it then. That was how I was going to die. The legions of the Order of Iron were far beyond anything Equestria could muster. Perhaps once we could’ve turned it into a war of attrition and run them out of warriors, but no longer. I’d die at the end of one of their myriad of weapons and I couldn’t do anything about it. Not even my magic could save me from them, not with the foul magics their undead monsters exuded filling the air.

No, I had to maintain an image of impassiveness. This didn’t bother me, there was no way thirteen thousand of the best fighters to ever live would want revenge for attacking them. Nope. Everything was fine.

It was a struggle, but I managed to push the thoughts from my mind by the time we reached the kitchens and found somewhere out of sight to relax. I felt ashamed, but kept it to myself while we were together. The simple act of drinking tea and talking about inconsequential things with Luna and Twilight felt good, like it was something I should’ve been doing since we were young. It only served to highlight how far astray I had lived my life.


Perspective Change: Vinyl


I made sure to keep an eye on Tavi during my performance, though this was a lighter show. Tavi had suggested structuring my shows by levels as well as times, with the beats starting out as chill and mellow as I got in the afternoon and getting heavier as the sun set. We’d tried it in Canterlot and tripled our daily take, which had incentivized me to make it part of my brand.

As per my rights as owner, the local DJ had been relegated to whenever I needed a break instead of being onstage constantly. Today was especially fun though, we had a new customer and he was taking to the beat like he was born for it. I’d sped up my routine and pushed in some real pulse pounders for the dude, letting his enthusiasm whip the entire crowd into the sort of free-for-all usually reserved for the hardcore audience that drifted in at midnight.

“WOO! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!”  the stallion cheered as he was picked up by the masses and carried towards the stage. Now that he was close enough to be made out through the multicolored lights, I could see that he was a deep royal blue pegasus.

“Get that crazy bucker up here!” I ordered as I threw down an even more intense disk and pulled the volume down to be barely audible. I’d done this before, it was the easiest way to make an entire crowd of regulars. I’d time it just right, then let the newcomer slam the volume up for the drop.

The blue stallion fumbled onto the stage as the enthralled ponies dropped him into my domain, seeming lost as to what he was supposed to do now.

“Well, come on then,” I teased, “Get over here so the nice ponies can hear you and tell them what you think of your first time in a real club.”

“THIS PLACE IS AMAZING, I WANT TO PARTY TILL I PASS OUT!” the stallion shouted into my microphone, though the masses reciprocated the earthquake level volume without any loss of enthusiasm.

“Epic, my dude, that’s what I like to hear. Now, since you’ve been going nuts all afternoon, I wanna treat you to something special. You see this fabulous tech right here? Nopony touches my tech. But for you, for you I’ll let you drop the hammer. When I say go, push this lever all the way up. Got it?” I instructed, pointing to my volume control.

“Yeah, I got it,” the stallion agreed excitedly.

“Cool. Wait for it...NOW!” I shouted, prompting the stallion to fling the volume to the max.

“MEET THE MOTHA BUCKIN BASS CANNON!” the speakers screamed before the first three rows were pushed back several feet by the sheer force of low end sound. Perfectly timed, and the crowd definitely loved every second of it. Though for as much as the partygoers were enjoying the show, my newest fan was ten times as enthusiastic. I narrowed my eyes in agitation when he hugged me and nudged him off with a shake of my head, but made no other indication that he had crossed a line. At least until his eyes flashed an emerald green.

I frantically tried to find Tavi, I needed to make sure she was okay. I could deal with the changeling on stage with me after I knew she hadn’t been taken. She was gone, vanished from her seat with no indication of where she had disappeared to. Her napkin was sitting on the table, but not on her plate or stuffed in her glass. She wasn’t in the bathroom or backstage, she wasn’t anywhere.

“You all know how much I love you all, but even that can’t stop the call of nature. I’mma turn it over to Disco for a few beats while I set up the next list, he’ll treat you right until I get back,” I informed the crowd, though it also served to let the club’s full time DJ know it was his turn to spin some beats.

“Miss Scratch? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable back there, I didn’t know you didn’t like to be hugged,” the changeling apologized as he followed me backstage. Normally I’d point out that it was VIP’s and staff only back here, but I wanted the bug alone with me.

Once Disco was on stage and commanding everypony’s attention, I turned on my hoof and punched the changeling in the throat before tackling him to the floor and twisting his hoof behind his back.

“Where did your friends take Tavi?” I demanded.

“I don’t have any friends,” the changeling replied fearfully.

“I know you aren’t alone, changelings never operate alone,” I spat, causing the bug under me to stiffen.

“It was the eyes wasn’t it? It was all I could do to keep my disguise with all that love going your way. I’m really sorry Miss Scratch, but I don’t know who you’re talking about or where they are. I’m not part of the hive anymore,” the changeling insisted. I wanted to break his leg, but something about his tone struck me as being honest. Plus he seemed too wimpy to be a real infiltrator, those bugs wouldn’t confess to anything.

“Damnit,” I swore as I let the changeling go. Though he returned to his hooves and added some distance between us, he didn’t run off or prepare to fight. He simply stood there, looking sad and submissive, “What?”

“You’re lonely,” the changeling stated plainly, “I’m lonely too. Do you think we could be friends if I help you find that pony you’re looking for?”

Memories of Chitin entered my mind, all the times we’d shared and scrapes we’d survived. It had been a friendship by necessity, with each of us trying to survive with what we could scrounge or steal, but we had looked out for one another. I couldn’t hate this changeling, he reminded me of her in a much weaker way. Chitin would’ve broken my nose for attacking her like that, not apologized and politely offered help.

“Vinyl? What’s going on?” Tavi asked from behind me. Whirling on the spot, I found my marefriend and the club’s manager standing next to the open door of the office.

“Just hanging with a fan while a catch a breather,” I lied, causing the manager to shrug and return to his paperwork while Tavi closed the door behind him and approached me.

“And the real story?” Tavi prompted.

“I just attacked this changeling because I thought he had taken you, turns out he’s alright,” I summarized.

“Hello, are you Tavi?” the changeling greeted.

“A changeling could be a valuable asset to have around, especially with all the fuss going on in town. He can spot them for us and help us avoid their traps,” Tavi mused, ignoring the changeling’s lowering ears.

“You got a name, bug?” I asked, though not as unkindly as my verbiage would imply.

“I’m, uh, I’m Thorax,” the changeling replied awkwardly, as though he was struggling to keep up with what we were discussing.

“You made up that pegasus, right? It isn’t somepony else’s face?” I continued.

“That’s right. What’s happening?” Thorax asked, admitting to his confusion.

“So you’re homeless?” I pressed.

“Well, for now. Jekyll told me to meet with one of his things when I got here, wouldn’t he help me get settled in?” Thorax guessed.

Tavi and I shared a look, “We know one of Jekyll’s enforcers. From what she’s told us, you’ve basically been banished. He’s not going to help you, you’re lucky to still be alive at all.”

“Oh,” Thorax replied, his ears drooping with his gaze.

“Vi, he’s harmless,” Tavi whispered.

“I’ve never heard of a harmless changeling. Chitin was a good friend, but I’d never consider her harmless,” I responded quietly, though I failed to suppress a shudder. I’d watched Chitin rip a stallion’s throat out with her teeth for trying to rob us, that wasn’t a sight you forgot easily.

“Just look at him and tell me you don’t sympathize,” Tavi pressured.

She did have a point, Thorax had that pathetic quality that made him endearing. Like a one legged dog.

“We never did find a use for the spare bedroom,” I allowed, “But I’ll break his neck if he tries anything.”

“Thorax, would you like to stay with us for a while?” Octavia offered. I turned away and scowled before reigning myself in and putting on a more welcoming face. The thought of sleeping in the same building as a changeling didn’t sit right with me. Chitin was different, she didn’t count.

“You’d really let a changeling like me into your home?” Thorax asked in shock before Tavi nodded, “Oh thank you thank you thank you, I promise to be the best houseguest you’ve ever had. I can clean and cook a little and… and, um, things.”

“You don’t have very many skills, do you?” I teased.

“No, I mostly just cleaned up the hive and tended to the younglings. I’m no good at lying so I was turned down as an infiltrator and I don’t like violence so the warriors didn’t want me either,” Thorax confessed.

“Hmm, how much do you weigh and how much can you carry?” I asked, thinking I knew of a job the wayward changeling would be perfect for.

“I’m still a drone, I weigh a hundred and twenty pounds and can carry five times that,” Thorax replied immediately.

“You’re hired. Your job will be to make sure my stage equipment makes it to whatever venue I’m hitting and isn’t damaged in the process,” I congratulated.

“A-A job? A real job? This really is the best day of my life, thank you so much Miss Scratch,” Thorax wept as he started crying and lunged forward to hug me. Octavia snickered at the sour look etched across my features as I barely tolerated the contact. I had expected it to only last a couple seconds, but ended up having to peel Thorax off of my shoulders when he refused to let go.

“First rule of being one of my employees, I don’t like being touched. Second rule, we count an exceptionally powerful enforcer among our friends so don’t let anypony push you around. You represent my brand now, keep that in mind. Third rule, I don’t like being touched,” I listed.

“You already said that one,” Thorax pointed out, his voice still shaky as fresh tears continued to flow down his face.

“It’s worth saying twice,” I replied simply.

Tavi chose that moment to show off by wrapping her foreleg around my shoulders, “Vi’s been known to get violent when other ponies push her on that, I’d play it safe if I were you.”

“Rule number four, treat Octavia here like she’s your boss as well. We’re an item, so I’ll take her word over yours in a heartbeat,” I continued.

“Is that why you don’t cringe when she breaks the first and third rules?” Thorax asked.

“Correct, they don’t apply to her. Rule five, and this one is just for you, no direct feeding on either of us. We’re pretty affectionate once we’re out of the public eye, so you should have plenty of ambient love to snack on, but nothing invasive,” I declared firmly.

“I wouldn’t anyway, I’ve seen what happens to ponies afterwards. How did you know about our feeding methods though? Chrysalis always kept information close,” Thorax wondered.

“I used to know another changeling, we were something like friends,” I allowed.

“Impossible, there haven’t been any changelings allowed to make friends with ponies. Except for Chitin, but she’s a horrid traitor who wants to see our kind destroyed,” Thorax rebuked before pausing, his expression slowly turning to one of realization and horror.

“By your queen’s standards, sure. I just knew her as my friend,” I replied evenly, daring the changeling to push the argument further.

Thorax took a slow breath and looked down for a moment before responding, “You’re right, I shouldn’t be so quick to judge someling I’ve never met.”

It took all of my willpower to keep my jaw from dropping open in shock. Since when did changelings concede anything that ran against what their queen had told them?

“I-I don’t-Buck it, I can’t care about that now. Stick with Tavi until the show’s over, she’ll keep you from getting thrown out,” I instructed with a sigh as I turned back towards the stage.

“Don’t worry, she warms up to you pretty quickly,” Tavi soothed behind me as I trotted back to my proper place as the conductor of this party train.

“Welcome back boss, hope you don’t mind that I just kept running your list,” Disco greeted over the music as I approached him and set up to take the controls.

“No worries, as long as you didn’t break out the juicy tracks,” I shouted back.

“Might want to address the crowd, they saw you head backstage with that stallion,” Disco advised as he removed himself from my little kingdom. He was a good DJ, but I was the queen and this was my court. I wasn’t going to say a damn thing, nopony questioned this queen once her wubs blasted the treasonous thoughts from their heads.


Perspective Change: Luna


“What happened here? It looks like a bomb went off,” Twilight asked as she looked around the ruins of the mages’ tower.

“You should’ve seen it before we started working on cleanup and repairs,” Tia scoffed.

“This was Jay’s work,” I noted as I saw a rent in the stone floor that matched the head of his hammer.

“He attacked them after he interrogated me over some worm things I had made a few years ago,” Tia explained briefly.

“Ah, I remember that day. I had a splitting headache and found everything infuriating for reasons I couldn’t place, Jay found the worms in my head and eclipsed my anger. How many died?” I wondered.

“Miraculously, none of them did. A few are still in therapy and almost all have found new employment, but not one died,” Tia replied, that sliver of respect returning to her voice for an instant.

I wondered briefly why Jay refrained from killing ponies whenever possible, he didn’t seem to have a problem with casually executing the other races. I made a mental note to ask him about that when I saw him again.

“At least the runes are undamaged,” I commented, changing the subject to clear my head more than to keep Tia from guessing where my thoughts had drifted.

“Small favors,” Tia agreed.

“So I just stand in the middle and cast the same spell?” Twilight confirmed as she walked into the center of the room.

“Only if you want to tear your skull open and fire your brains at the wall like a canon. Long range scrying requires a completely different spell to be done safely, you lose some details but get to survive the experience. The simpler version can be cast without the power boost from the runes, but will look like an incomprehensible swirl of colors. Come, I’ll show you,” I beckoned as I sat down on the opposite side of the room and gestured for Twilight to take her place in my lap. Twilight didn’t hesitate to sit with me, nor did she react to my forehooves wrapping her in a gentle hug as I formed the spell and held it on the end of my horn for her to inspect.

“It’s a mess of simple latices, I’m amazed any image could survive that many foci at once,” Twilight noted, having grasped much of how short range scrying worked from the spell matrix alone.

“It doesn’t, the refraction ends up giving you an aerial view no matter how much effort you put into bending the leys. And even then, the only way to get a clear image is to overload the foci with power. Tia and I can force the image into clarity, but can’t see very far with it. I needed to use these same runes to view the Crystal Kingdom’s former location and the seals holding it,” I explained.

“So what should I try to see?” Twilight asked, her question indicating that she had already memorized the matrix and was ready to test herself. It amazed me how quickly my student picked up academic concepts, especially when she didn’t have a lick of common sense sometimes.

“Stick with someplace close and familiar, like Ponyville,” I suggested as Twilight returned to the center of the runic matrix and began weaving the spell. Her form was an exact copy of the one I had shown her, but she seemed to be struggling to get the image to resolve itself.

Tia and I shared a concerned look before I turned to inspect the runework for flaws, finding one of the tertiary conduits that had been cracked. The tiny rune was starting to glow as it fed power back into the main circle instead of transmitting it properly.

“Twi-” I managed before the network exploded. I felt my hooves leave the floor as the blast tossed me across the room, only stopping when I impacted the far wall.

When the pressure wave subsided, I did my best to haul myself to my hooves. Celestia was unconscious and partially buried in the remains of several desks, but Twilight was right in the open. My right hindleg and left wing were dragging along behind me, but I didn’t feel any pain. Somehow I knew that the bioform Jay had put in my head was blocking the pain and keeping me awake, though I didn’t know how I knew that.

A weak telekinetic blast snuffed the small fires burning on Twilight’s fur, though that seemed to be pretty low on her list of injuries.

“How… does your luck… suck this badly?” I asked, finding my voice hoarse and choked with ash.

I put as much magic into a healing spell as I dared and had Twilight back to her usual self in moments, though she’d remain unconscious until that passed normally. Her probable concussion would have to heal naturally as well, I didn’t have the concentration to deal with it while the room burned around me.

“Fang?” I asked the room, not seeing the enforcer among the wreckage.

“Here,” Fang replied simply as he appeared by my side. I sent a silent thanks to the stars that he was in one of his lucid periods, having him decide that the fire needed to be clawed to death wouldn’t help anypony.

“Get Twilight and Celestia out, then see if you can find Dawn. Treat their injuries once they’re out of danger, but focus on getting them out of this place before the smoke takes them,” I ordered as I switched my attention to the growing blaze of papers and wooden desks.

I continued fighting back be flames until help arrived with the proper equipment, at which point the blaze was quickly defeated. All that remained was ashen mud and soaked scrolls, the last remnants of thousands of hours of research.

With a sad sigh, I walked out to rejoin the others and allow Fang to fix my leg and wing.

“Uhg, what happened?” Twilight asked, having been roused by Fang at my approach.

“A minor rune was damaged and overloaded the entire network,” I explained, “This was a good lesson for all of us to check them before trying any spells.”

I heard a loud crack and looked back to see Fang setting my leg and closing the hole from where the bone had protruded through my skin. I paused when I saw the wound, having not realized how badly I had been hurt. Now concerned, I turned to look at my limp wing and found it in tatters. The bones are broken and jutting out of my bleeding flesh in several points, including the base of the wing itself. On closer inspection, my left wing appeared to be held to my body by the skin alone.

“I-There aren’t words for how glad I am that I can’t feel that,” I commented.

“Lucky you,” Tia griped as she bent her prosthetic leg back into shape. She was still bleeding from several minor cuts as she sat against the wall.

“I’m amazed that nopony was killed, can’t we be happy with that?” Dawn placated diplomatically, looking very similar to Celestia. We were banged up, but alive and with no major damage.

“I agree, this was a catastrophe nopony could’ve predicted. Bickering over who was hurt worse doesn’t help anypony,” I agreed.

“Whatever,” Tia groaned as she hauled herself to her hooves and limped away.

“Princess, there were better ways to handle that,” Dawn admonished as she chased after her charge.

“Ready to go home, Twilight?” I asked, deciding I’d had my fill of Canterlot and politics for the day.

“Hay yes,” Twilight agreed eagerly as she near sprinted to my side. I smiled down at her as I charged the teleport.

“Idols have a habit of disappointing you,” I commented knowingly before the universe bent and tore around us, depositing my student and I in front of the Ponyville library.

“Is that why you try to seem less royal and more like the rest of us? To keep from being seen as somepony to idolize?” Twilight asked bluntly.

“You still have much to learn young Twilight, but let it never be said that you aren’t observant,” I praised before freezing in place, “Ah fuck, I forgot Fang.”

“He seemed attached to you, he’ll be back,” Twilight reassured, “Thanks Luna, I learned a lot today.”

“Remember my warnings first and foremost, they’ll save you some time in therapy later on,” I cautioned.

“Nothing after dark or outside of emergencies, got it,” Twilight repeated.

“Seriously, don’t forget that rule. You will see things you really don’t want to. And above all, never decide to see what your parents are doing. Ever. Not even when you know they’re just going for a walk,” I pressed.

“Speaking from experience?” Twilight teased at my shudder.

“What has been seen cannot be unseen,” I warned.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to your mental trauma. Have a good rest of your day, Luna,” Twilight bid as she walked into her home and immediately started writing things down. After a few seconds, Spike wandered into my view and saw my amused smirk through the open door. He closed it with a grumble towards Twilight about privacy, at which point I released a chuckle and turned to walk back to Abaddon.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


“Sir!” the commander greeted with a sharp salute as I landed next to his training field. The snobbish looking noble in charge of this training facility was a deep green unicorn with a muddy brown mane. My reports named him Camouflage, but also said that his name was the best qualification he had for this job.

“Good, you got the memo,” I replied, referencing nothing at all. I wasn’t part of the Equestrian military in any capacity, much less their chain of command.

“Of course sir, I believe you’ll find the recruits beyond your standards in every way,” Camouflage bragged.

I wasn’t impressed, each of the ‘soldiers’ arranged before me wore perfectly pressed dress uniforms. Bright white uniforms, to be specific.

“I was expecting a combat brigade, not a bunch of pretty parade props. Get them into their fatigues,” I ordered sternly.

“Fatigues, sir?” Camouflage asked in confusion.

“You, trooper, what have you learned here?” I demanded, pointing at a random recruit.

The mare in question was a dirty gray earth pony with a matching mane and shouted her answer like an overdrilled automaton, “SIR, TRAINEE DUST REPORTS AS ORDERED. WE HAVE LEARNED AND PERFECTED EVERY DRILL MOVEMENT, CADENCE, AND MANEUVER. WE HAVE ALSO MAXIMIZED OUR SCORES ON THE CURRENT PHYSICAL TRAINING REGIMENT.”

“Does that include combat maneuvers? Squad level tactics? Melee or ranged combat techniques?” I pressed.

“NO, SIR,” Trainee Dust answered instantly, clearly not understanding the implications of her response.

“Camouflage was it? Would you mind telling me why you failed to teach a combat regiment how to fight?” I asked kindly.

“Well, I, um, why would we need a combat regiment? Right, there’s a war coming. Um, the ponies need something inspiring to keep their spirits up?” Camouflage attempted before I slapped his incompetence, and head, right off his shoulders. The recruits broke their training at the visceral display and shook fearfully as they shuffled away from the suddenly hostile entity in their midst.

“Commander’s dead, who’s next in command?” I demanded. There was a single squeak as the new commander made the obvious connection and assumed she was next on the chopping block. Dust, the trainee from before, shivered worst of all.

“I-I’m the ranking trainee on the grounds, the instructors have gone for the day,” Dust revealed.

“Excellent, rally your troops and engage the threat,” I ordered. It took several minutes for Dust to get the other trainees in line and in something vaguely similar to a phalanx formation, though not one of them had a spear.

As soon as the first one took a step towards me, I dove out of my armor and hit the ground in my Best Defense disguise before rolling and coming up with a typical gryphon longsword. Just to make the sparring match fair, I blunted the sword and toned my strength and reactions down to the level of a gryphon skirmisher in peak condition.

I didn’t hold back aside from those concessions however, and dove into their lines as soon as they blundered too close. Their attacks were clumsy and easily dodged, their defenses weak and simple to counter. My blunted sword lashed out constantly, every strike connecting with one of the regiment and breaking a bone or two.

I corkscrewed and rolled through their mob, as it couldn’t be called a formation anymore. This was a bunch of rookies attempting to swarm a single enemy. It resembled a molecule more than a military action. Their pegasi didn’t think to fly, their unicorns didn’t pepper me with spells, though their earth ponies actually did try to leverage their greater strength in an effort to pin me down.

Not one strike connected with me, yet all of mine found one of them. Within minutes, I had every single one of them on the ground and groaning in pain.

“Absolutely horrendous, I feel vindicated in my execution of Camouflage. This piss poor excuse for training is treason. Where are the troops I sent you?” I snarled as I returned to my normal form, receiving two enforcers that had thinned since they’d been sent out.

“Apologies sir, the commander confined us for countering his orders,” the first enforcer apologized.

“He believed us to be advisors and ignored our council,” the other added.

“You’re in charge now, get these trainees into shape. I want them able to handle multiple gryphons and minotaurs individually within the month,” I decreed before turning my attention back to the tangle of broken legs that had once been a fancy looking parade field, “These bioforms will be your new instructors, commanders, and medics, they’ll teach you how to be real soldiers instead of whatever Camouflage thought that meant. And for the record; I fought you as a normal gryphon, not as myself. You will be expected to fight thousands of enemies that skilled and win.”

“Understood, sir. We won’t fail Equestria again,” Dust declared as she forced herself to her hooves despite her broken ribs and the blood leaking from her mouth to stain her once perfect uniform. I made a note to remember that mare, she had the makings to be a good leader one day.

“Prove it with your actions, Dust. Pretty words and uniforms mean less than nothing if you can’t back them up,” I advised. Camouflage’s body was quickly collected to be sent back to Canterlot for burial, as was the custom for unicorns. I remained on site for a couple more hours to ensure that the new training setup proceeded adequately before moving on to the next training facility, hoping that I wouldn’t have to execute the commander of this one. Only time would tell if he was smarter than the last three.
> Chapter 35: Smooth Sailing
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Whatcha doin?” a familiar voice asked.

“Hiding,” I replied quietly.

“Yer not doin very well,” the voice noted.

“There are many ways to hide, Bloom, sometimes just not being where you’re expected is enough,” I replied distantly, my thoughts on the many deaths I would suffer if Luna caught me before Tzu calmed her down. She’d see reason eventually, she always did. 

“So why are ya hidin?” Applebloom asked curiously.

“Because Luna’s pretty pissed at me,” I explained curtly.

“Why?” Applebloom pressed.

“Because I...” I began, pausing as I struggled to find the right way to tell the filly that I had murdered thirty ponies the day before. Their deaths were necessary and would save far more, but children shouldn’t have to understand that level of pragmaticism.

“Dammit! Shit!” Mac cursed before freezing and looking around nervously. His face fell when he spotted Applebloom and I sitting against a tree just a few yards away.

“Whatcha actin’ weird for Big Mac? I didn’t hear nothin’,” Applebloom lied, getting a mix of gratitude and mild admonishment from her brother in return. 

“So… Why’re you watchin’ me?” Mac asked in an obvious effort to distract everyone from his outburst.

“I was here first,” I countered, causing Mac to flinch, “Want to tell me what has you so distracted?”

“No,” Mac responded quietly, failing to draw out the word like he usually did.

“Is it the tree?” I prompted, my guess fueled by the deep notch Mac had cut into the plant before his ax had broken.

“Part of it,” Mac allowed.

“That’s one of the ones Pa planted,” Applebloom noted, “Why are ya cuttin’ it down?”

“It’s dying,” I replied, recognizing the early signs of fungal growth on the bark.

“Eeeyep,” Mac confirmed sadly.

“And if left alone, it’ll take the whole field with it,” I continued.

“Eeeyep,” Mac repeated.

“And the other part?” I asked.

“I just broke Pa’s ax,” Mac spat as he kicked the broken handle away.

“So? That ax has gone through a half dozen handles, just stick another on and get to it,” I chided, snapping Mac out of his funk.

“Can’t find one, I’ve been lookin’ fer months,” Mac shot back, his sadness replaced with anger.

“Then make one,” I suggested simply before adding, “Or look in the right places. Privateer armories should have them by the cartload, given that you’ve been swinging a boarding ax all these years.”

“A what?” Applebloom asked, though she had barely beaten Mac to the question.

“A boarding ax, it’s used to kill pirates,” I explained briefly.

“Pa fought pirates?” Applebloom wondered, her awe clear in her face and tone.

“No, he worked this farm his whole life,” Mac corrected firmly.

“Same as his father and his father before,” I agreed, “But your great-great-grandfather served first in the Equestrian Navy, then with a privateer crew, and only then did he return here to live out his days on the farm. That… is not his ax, it’s been replaced piecemeal over the centuries. A broken handle here, a busted blade there, but the spirit of it remains intact.”

“How do you know this?” Mac asked evenly.

“Didn’t we cover this last time? I’ve been connected to your family since long before you had your own farm. It doesn’t hurt that it was my ship he sailed on,” I allowed.

“You’ve got a pirate ship?” Applebloom asked excitedly, “Pipsqueak’s gonna be so jealous. I’ve got a friend who was a real pirate.”

“Privateer, and no. She sank decades ago, though she’d been resigned to that fate longer ago still. Once the big companies got their own ships, I lost contracts and had to let the crew go. After that I left her to rot and join the rest at the bottom of Baltimare Bay,” I explained.

“So not a pirate. Then what’s a piravteer?” Applebloom asked. I let Mac think I hadn’t noticed him sidle closer once my tale had begun.

“Privateers are to the ocean what mercenaries are the land. They haul cargo from port to port and are no strangers to a dustup. You need iron moved from Stalliongrad to Prance and aren’t sure the waters are safe? Hire a privateer ship. Forty-six guns on three decks, a bosun with no fear of boarding actions and a particular fondness for his ax, and an unkillable captain. We were the nightmare of every scurvy ridden son of a whore along the whole of the coast, until the pirates either died or found safer jobs and the seas were safe enough to retire the noble privateers,” I explained, giving Applefritter a posthumous promotion for the sake of grandeur, “This was all before I discovered how easy it was to make money off of owning land, otherwise I’d probably still be out there. Miss the cannons too, had to skuttle those before anyone got a good enough look at how they worked. Damn, now you’ve got me all sentimental.”

“What about the smell of the sea and the wind in your face? Like the books say?” Applebloom pressed.

“We’re not that far inland, I can still smell the ocean when the wind blows the right way. I hear the call of the open seas now and again too, to take my place behind that wheel just one more time. Maybe I’ll get to someday, but I have ties here that I can’t ignore,” I replied.

“And the wind? I assume you get that craving allieved whenever you fly?” a new voice asked. A voice that sent a chill down my spine.

“Yeah, that was never a really important one to me,” I replied with a shrug.

“So who were you then? What lie of a name did you use?” Luna continued.

“I was a minotaur then, going by Hugo the Red,” I answered, catching Mac and Applebloom share a look that promised a trip to Twilight’s library for the full story.

“How many ponies lost their lives at the end of Hugo’s sword?” Luna pressed as she circled the tree I sat against. Between that and the look in her eyes, it almost felt like being adrift and in the sights of a particularly nasty shark.

“Six hundred and twenty-nine, if you count the ones I ordered and those that sank. Slightly over a hundred otherwise. Best Defense can claim twice that and Jekyll has tens of thousands,” I retorted as I stood up and squared up for a fight.

“Heh, don’t be daft. I’m not going to start a fight I can’t win, not at this distance anyway,” Luna spat before taking a single step back, “But I see now why it was so easy for you to kill another thirty yesterday.”

“No, that’s not why. I kill because it’s what I am, what I have to be. You’ve known that from the beginning, yet you only care when it’s pony lives being lost,” I rebuked.

“I’m only responsible for the pony ones,” Luna snapped.

“Then you should be applauding me, because-” I attempted.

“Thousands will be saved, incompetent leaders, blah, blah, blah, I don’t care. There were other ways to handle that,” Luna interjected.

“No, there weren’t. Not without giving the survivors a clear vision of what war looks like, not without making it clear to everyone what real war looks like,” I refuted with deadly calm.

“Bah, you’ll never understand,” Luna huffed as she turned away.

“You don’t think I understand? Have you forgotten everything I’ve told you? I watched my home die, Luna. I’m just doing my best to keep you from knowing what that feels like,” I responded more softly.

Luna winced before finally relenting, “I...I can’t agree with that, but I’m not naïve enough to blindly ignore your reasons. Nor can I win this fight. Truce?”

“I smell an ulterior motive,” I noted suspiciously.

“It astonishes me how honest you nose can be when your mouth lies so often. Yes, there are terms to this truce,” Luna confessed.

“Name them,” I prompted.

“Just one. You do better than that hollow description of your time at sea. I believe we’d all enjoy a swashbuckling adventure to take our minds off our troubles for an afternoon.” Luna decreed with a hint of a smile. It would seem that Tzu had done better than I’d expected before leaking my location to the mare.

“Two things first,” Mac interjected, “If the privateers are gone then why are there still armories? And the tree still needs to come down.”

“Tradition has even more sway on the sea than it does here, the name will likely never change,” I replied as I sent a swarm of tendrils to scour the infection from the tree. It’d still need to come down, as the conditions that caused the fungus to take root were still present, but I thought it should get one last harvest before fate called it home. I thought for a moment before voicing my thoughts, “Hmm, where to begin with this one…”


Three Hundred Years Ago
Six Miles Off The Coast of Baltimare


It was a calm day, at least as far as the weather went. A mere six clouds in the whole sky, waves no bigger than a foal’s hoof, and an easy breeze. I’d ordered the oars out to make up for the lack of power from the sails, not that it mattered. We were two days ahead of schedule and could’ve afforded the rest.

Six miles from port. Six mere miles from finishing the delivery and cashing out for some well deserved fun in Baltimare. You’ll find this story in Twilight’s library, it’s called ‘Nine Miles In Tartarus.’ The book really doesn’t do it justice, or even get much correct for that matter.

They came a little after midday, Torn Sail and his entire fleet. Twenty ships in all. He was mad that I’d wrecked his pathetic excuse for a blockade the last time I’d been in the area. He was a right bastard in his own way, having refused to sink a single vessel during his failed embargo of Baltimare. His goons boarded every one of them and slaughtered the crews, but took the officers for ransome. In those days, only ponies born to aristocratic families could become officers. When the families didn’t pay, he sent pieces of their kin back in little boxes. I learned of his methods after the battle, but he remains one of the very few that I truly enjoyed killing.

I never learned where they came from, just that the lookout started screaming as we were finishing our lunch. By the time I made it out onto the deck, there was a veritable forest of masts heading our way.

“Captain?” one of the rowers asked as he wrenched his gaze away from the rapidly approaching wall of death.

“Lower the sails, pull in the oars, and someone fetch me my bloody sword!” I roared before they had the opportunity to even think about panicking. In an instant, they were scrambling about the deck to make my demands manifest. My sword belt was in my hands barely a second later, prompting me to grin at the crew as I strapped it around my waist. Even if the odds were slim, I needed to be the definition of confidence, “Well, what are the rest of you waiting for? Prepare to repel boarders! Arm yourselves! Let’s show these limp dicks what a real crew looks like!”

In retrospect, I should’ve waited before telling them to ready themselves. That quarter-second of chaos cost us the lead sail.

“Archers!” the lookout shouted just before a hail of arrows fell upon the ship. The first of the three masts tock the brunt of the attack, with it’s thick sail ensnaring the arrows meant for my crew. The lookout had no such cover and dropped to the deck with sixteen arrows peppering his corpse. On any other ship, this would’ve roused a cheer from the others. Big Sky, the lookout, didn’t have any family to inherit his money, causing both his balance and the double share granted to those that died on voyage to return to the rest of the crew. They kept silent because they knew I wouldn’t tolerate any celebration, to break this rule meant forfeiture of their earnings at best and a keelhauling at worst.

“Damn, they’ll pay for that,” I snarled before turning sharply to ascend the stairs that lead to the wheel. I was conflicted about what strategy to take, as turning sidelong would allow for a lethal broadside but erase the cover of the sails. I opted to take her straight in, even ram one of the enemy vessels if I could manage it. Her prow and keel were the stuff of nightmares, solid steel and serrated for good measure. The Carbonaro, she already had the name when I got her, didn’t have a ram. I’d removed it in favor of driving the ship onto my enemies and sawing them in two. It even worked once out of every twelve tries.

“Captain, we can’t handle this many,” my helmspony tutted nervously. He was no coward, but we’d never faced odds like this before. I understood his trepidation and spared him the verbal lashing I nearly released on reflex, instead I cracked a wry smile and set our course towards the largest of the enemy vessels. 

“Ready weapons, we’re going in hot!” I shouted, nearly cackling. I had nothing to shout over, but it helped put the crew in the right mindset. Our going was slow, especially now that we were down a sail. Slow but safe from their arrows as long as enough of the front sail remained to keep them at bay.

The enemy ships had their oars out, making up for the lack of wind with their muscle. Good for them, better for me. More of them on the oars meant that there were less that would be combat capable.

It took over an hour for them to close the distance, an hour that widened my grin with every minute. I’d watched them cycle the oarsponies, tiring another set each and cutting down on their abilities even further. We were still outnumbered and outclassed, but I’d happily take any advantage they offered.

They thought they had us made, they were so close to being right about that. The frigate I had chosen to ram over an hour ago had more going for it than just being the largest. It had a single flaw I could see from that distance. A flaw I exploited.

When our ships collided, instead of the rams deflecting off one another and offering a perfect opportunity for boarding actions, as I was sure they were anticipating and the reason they hadn’t moved to avoid me, my ship climbed their ram and cut deep into the deck. We nearly cut the ship in half lengthwise before they took enough water to allow us to fall off the aft. One flaw, their bowsprit had broken off and hadn’t been replaced. 

One ship down and we hadn’t fired a single shot, though with a laugh I decided it was about time we changed that. 

“FIRE AT WILL!”  I roared over the screeching of wood on steel and the screams on the pirates we’d just sunk. The next half-second deafened everyone on deck for both my ship and those that were too close to escape our wrath. Forty-six cannons went off almost at once, shredding no less than three of the other vessels and sending them to the seafloor with their flagship. Six more were flagging but still capable, not good enough for me to count them out just yet. Four down, sixteen to go, and a full minute before the cannons were ready to fire once more.

“Captain? What are we going to do?” the helmspony asked. A stupid question. We were the only ship with weapons of that magnitude, they’d have to ram us to bring us down or board us to take the ship. They definitely wanted the ship.

“Draw your sword, we’re going to have guests,” I instructed as I followed my own command and hopped the railing to land on the main deck. As predicted, two of the undamaged vessels pulled up on either side and began disgorging a mix of earth ponies, gryphons, and the occasional minotaur.

“Get your own bloody ship, ye bastards!” my bosun slurred around the haft of his ax as he met the first wave on the starboard side, cleaving the first pirate to touch my ship in two. I tipped my head in his direction to send reinforcements while I moved to secure the other side until the cannons could ready another round. 

The pirates on the port side actually stopped dead as I strode towards them, my reputation causing them to collectively rethink their entire lives. They only broke from their stupor once I had crossed to their ship and relieved the nearest of his head. They could’ve swarmed me, overwhelmed me with sheer numbers. They didn’t, they circled me and tried to knick me to death with little cuts whenever they saw an opening. A cautious approach for sure, but a flawed one.

I feigned openings for them and quickly executed whichever was stupid enough to take the bait. I threw a handful overboard as I recall, though I kept it to those that lacked the ability to fly. I was a bit too caught up in the fight, caving in the skull of one minotaur I punched in the nose. The others broke after that and dove overboard, apparently deciding that the sharks were better company. 

The last of the other pirates were backing off as well, having lost more than they were willing to part with to my much more rested crew. They refused to call off the boarding however, instead maintaining their ground on their vessel while we did the same. Shame for them, there were none aboard my ship when their’s ceased existing. One minute. Time simply ran out for them.

Two shots rang out from the port side cannons, seemingly an afterthought to remove the pacified vessel from the field. Smart, it would cut down on confusion during the remainder of the fight. I made a note to grant whoever called those shots a double share when we finally made port. If we made port.

Fourteen left. Ten of mine dead on the deck, thirty remaining. A poor trade.

Our little display granted us a nice bit of respite while the remaining ships tried to guess how many broadsides we had left. It became a mind game, I halted our firing to conserve ammunition and make them guess that much harder. The answer was ninety, ninety cannonballs remaining. Less than two full broadsides, at least in storage. Our guns were all loaded with another ninety-two rounds. I’d never anticipated needing more than six full barrages to make my point, and any more would severely cut into our hauling capacity. Four then, we’d need to make each shot count.

Or kill their admiral, that would send them running and likely end their entire band. What few made it through their power struggles wouldn’t pose much threat to us at least. I just had to find Torn Sail and bury my sword in his heart. He was a slippery one, never taking his flagships into battle. I knew that by reputation alone, I’d have to hunt down whichever sloop he was hiding on and bring it down.

“Target the little ones, single shots only,” I growled as I thought about how to proceed. The sloops posed little threat to us, having only five crew apiece. However, it would cause Sail to hide behind the cover of one of the larger ships and reveal his position within the floatilla. Or die in the opening salvo, that was a possibility too. The best possibility.

Ten more ships died by that order, fifty pirates killed by seven words. This confused me, those were all of the sloops and the rest of the fleet weren’t backing off. The four brigantines remained to keep us from Baltimare. Torn Sail was a slippery one.

“He’s changed tactics, he knew we’d target the sloops. He’s on that ship,” I declared, fixing my gaze on the one brigantine the others now moved to defend. He was scared of us now, we’d fended off his attacks and killed more than he’d expected.

“What are your orders Captain?” the bosun asked, his ax still in his grip and dripping with warm blood.

“Their escorts and flagship is down, Torn Sail is holding out on the chance that we’ll rush in to finish this,” I noted, more to myself.

“So we finish them with the cannons?” the bosun predicted.

“No, we rush in and finish this. Ready all guns, I want to eliminate two of those brigs and cut the middle one in half. Then I’ll face Sail myself and make him pay for the lives he’s taken today,” I corrected. I knew it was what my enemy wanted, but I wanted it too.

By my order, we pressed forward. Our guns were ready, our minds keen on the victory we could almost taste, and our steel thirsty for more pirate blood. They were evidently out of arrows as well, as they didn’t fire a single shot as we approached. Then Sail sprung the trap we had so happily sailed right into. In retrospect, the lack of incoming fire should have tipped me off. There was no way they were out of arrows. The calm seas also belied their strategy, as any considerable chop would’ve rendered their ploy obvious and easily countered.

I knew Sail had three flagships. I should’ve been more attentive to the fact that we’d only sunk one. Instead our first warning came when our own bowsprit crumpled and we abruptly halted in the water, throwing myself and the rest of the crew forward. The massive galleon that appeared before us with a slight shimmer, not unlike the heated air above a stove, had missed its fatal ram and crippled our own ability to do the same. I could feel water entering my beloved vessel through cracks in her underbelly, though my dedicated crew would repair those without prompting. I returned to my hooves just in time to be thrown back to the deck as another galeon appeared and nearly tore off the aft third of my ship.

I could’ve cried, there was no way we could repair that kind of damage this far out. My ship was dead, only held aloft by the grace of the two pirate vessels pinning her between them. Two pirate galleons, ships that wouldn’t be missed. Ships that could be commandeered legally and kept.

“Alright boys, new plan. Hooks out, grapple that bitch there. Make her keep us afloat!” I hollered over the groaning superstructure. That got them back into the fight, a solid plan to keep fighting. A chance at seeing tomorrow.

Harpoons went out, lines were tied, and the pirates on the significantly larger ships began swearing at us to get off. I believe I recall being called an overgrown barnicle at least two dozen times. I didn’t care about their insults in the slightest, they’d be dead in a moment anyway. I had a ship to avenge.

Sheathing my sword and taking another in my teeth, I began climbing the ship we’d so rudely turned into a lopsided catamaran. The pirates aboard took exception to this and threw everything they could over the side in an effort to shake me off. I ended up having to dodge barrels, swords, and whatever else they could find in their effort to dislodge me. One got the bright idea to fire his bow over the side and caught me in the shoulder, though we all know how very little that means. Hugo however, he was mortal as far as anyone knew and this caused me to nearly fall back to the deck.

The pirates cheered as I was forced to let go with my injured arm, though they stopped when I grunted in determination and continued climbing. More arrows found homes in my body, though I ducked my head so they caught in my back and could be passed off as shallow flesh wounds. 

There were no cheers or curses when I hauled myself onto the deck and took a sword in each hand. My once regal coat, the symbol of my station as captain, was torn and bloody. Holes had been cut by both enemy blades and splinters from my own dying ship, sections had ripped away entirely, caught on bits of refuse when I had been flung about the deck by the collisions. Indeed it was barely fit to be a dishrag by the time I made it to the main deck of the galleon. I looked every part the savage, a being made of rage and Tartarus bent on revenge for his crippled ship. 

I was on them in an instant. My crew couldn’t see me from this height, the other galleon was busy with its own problems, and the brigantines were much too far away. I could tear into them without the limits imposed by my identity as Hugo the Red. The first, a gryphon that looked much too young to have been on the ship for more than a month, didn’t have time to do anything more than follow the path of my sword as it ran through his eye and out the back of his head before plunging into the heart of the unicorn behind him with a single downward thrust.

I snapped the blade with a single violent twist and threw the remains into a minotaur that had been among the ones on deck. The blunted leading edge slipped between a pair of ribs and punctured his lung, dropping him to his knees in pain just in time for me to catch the meat of his neck with my other sword as I brought it around to decapitate the other battlemage. With their unicorns down and no other spell casters in the bunch, they made an effort to flee. I did not allow this.

Tendrils caught them and dragged them back to me as Hugo’s now empty right hand exploded into a vicious claw. Those that saw this tried everything in their power to resist the fate that came for them, prying up deckboards or digging furrows as they struggled against that destiny all living things eventually meet.

I took another look around to ensure my secret was safe and saw what had the other galleon so preoccupied earlier, it was listing dramatically and threatening to capsize. Glancing further down, I saw the entry wounds of twenty-three cannon shells, I’d been so occupied with this one that I hadn’t even noticed my crew cutting the bottom out of the other ship.

I made another mental note to chastise whoever had ordered a full broadside for that, anything beyond five shells was a waste of ammunition. 

“Yo ho fiddly dee, why do these pirates keep coming at me? Don't you know it's bad for your health, your life is made of more than just wealth,” I sang to the dead as I made for the wheel.


Present Day


“You did not say that,” Luna declared firmly.

“Yes, I did,” I retorted in the same tone of voice.

“Bullshit,” Luna replied.

“Language,” Mac complained with a look towards Applebloom.

“I really did say that,” I affirmed.

“And I've seen how melancholy you get during a fight, you wouldn't sing for the sake of singing. Thus, I don't believe you,” Luna elaborated.

“Anyway…”


Back To The Story


As I was saying…


Oh No You Don't, I'm Not Done


“If you're not going be honest, you might as well not tell the story at all,” Luna continued crossly.

“Is it that difficult to believe? Am I not allowed to have one group I don't have to feel guilty about killing? Pirates are scum, always have been and always will be. The world is better without them,” I retorted, feeling my temper rise.

“And changelings are any better?”

“That wasn't guilt, it was disappointment. I was hoping for a challenge.”


Any-fucking-way
Language


Where was I? Right, I'd just taken the wheel.

So there I was, helming a ship twice the size of anything I'd ever touched before. To put it bluntly, that monster turned like a refrigerator in a field of molasses. On the upside, I now had two ships they really didn't want to sink. I would've laid a claim right then and there if it had been equipped with a crane. As it stood, I wasn't able to move our haul to the more intact vessel.

I'd just have to break through with what I had left, a feat much easier said than done. Particularly since I couldn't be sure when the rest of the galleon's crew would wisen to the fact that they were leaving formation and investigate. Seventy more pirates right then would be disastrous, provided the vessel was operating with a full crew. Spoiler, it was.

Our luck finally ran out just as I was about to call Sail's bluff and either force him out of the way or under my much larger keel. The worst possible moment to hear some pirate below me say, “Alright you go up first and these bucks will be right behind you.”

To make matters worse, a decent portion of my crew was finishing the transition between vessels and setting up the galleon's defenses. I couldn't cheat.

“Oi, Butterball! Sword me!” I shouted at the first crewpony I saw, getting a pair of swords thrown at my face in response. Interestingly, the second sword came from Grilled Cabbages. Why he threw his blade at me was a mystery I never got the opportunity to solve. Regardless, I ducked and caught both of them. I'd had a fair amount of practice doing this maneuver as it was a trick we occasionally did in pubs that didn't know us to score a free round.

These pirates proved to be just as dumb as the rest, only pausing for a moment when they saw me standing at the top of the only stairwell before blindly charging at the scary minotaur that was already littered with the arrows of their crewmates. 

I was surprised when I killed the first two without even moving, the mass of bodies pushed them onto the points of my swords. I had to drop the both of them and tactically acquire another set when I couldn't pull the previous set out fast enough.

There was no finesse to this fight, just wild swings in as many directions as possible as fast as possible. Normally this succeeds in beating the enemy back and gaining enough room to control the fight and swing the odds in my favor, however the press of the other pirates just kept pushing them in. I ended up breaking that pair of swords and scooping up another set before the fight ended. That was the only time a sword had broken in my hand without me directly causing it. 

I should mention that I didn't win the fight, it ended when our ship hit something and sent me flying out of the stairwell and sliding across the deck.

“REPORT!” I roared before I had even regained my footing.

“We're caught on all three brigs, they tried to stall us and got tangled,” Grilled responded before an arm came over the side of the ship, followed by a knife wielding gryphon attached to said arm. Grilled Cabbages was dead and over the side before anyone had a chance to stop it, and my answer died with him.

The gryphon got one of my pilfered swords thrown through his neck before he could celebrate his victory at least, so there's that. 

“I want ten holding the stairs, I'm ending this shit,” I ordered, getting more than a few odd looks at the arrows protruding from my shoulders and back, “I'm fine, hold the stairs.”

I wasted no time hopping the rail and dropping onto the deck of the first brigantine. Thirty crew per ship if fully crewed. Ninety total. Ninety to one was nothing as long as they didn't do another blind rush and push me over the side.

They did another blind rush and pushed me over the damn side of the ship. I took ten of them with me though, so they fell short in that particular trade. 

At this point, I was more annoyed than angry. They'd pushed me off the deck and into the ropes binding the four ships, tangling me in the process. It took me three minutes I couldn't afford to cut myself loose and return to the deck. I could see my crew valiantly keeping the pirates from scaling the galleon, but I also saw three of them die. Fourteen of my crew were dead, plus however many had fallen holding the stairs.

“SAIL! SHOW YOURSELF!” I roared as I brandished my swords.

“Hugo the Red is actually fighting fair? Is it my birthday?” Torn Sail sneered as he walked out of the cabin of the ship opposite me. A triple bluff then, hiding on one of his own screening vessels.

“Twenty to one. Ninety to one. I don't care, we're going to settle this today,” I promised. 

“Yes we are. Shoot him,” Sail ordered, prompting a single archer to fire one arrow at me. He must've thought I was weak and tired by then, he was right. I'd spent a lot of energy during the fight and hadn't been at full strength to begin with. I was still capable enough to deflect the arrow with a flick of the blade in my left hand, though the angle was wrong for the cool redirection into one of his pirates that I'd tried to do. 

“No arrows, I have enough of those already,” I replied with a grin as I tapped some of the projectiles protruding from my back and shoulders.

“Pure bravado, you're half dead already,” Sail asserted.

“Then I'm half alive, more than enough to end you,” I countered, drawing the attentions of the pirates that were supposed to be retaking the galleon. One got the bright idea to drop onto me for a surprise attack, though seemed to forget that he wasn't supposed to yell the entire time. His stupidity caused me to sidestep him and remove his head with a single motion.

“So it seems you have more in you than I thought. Kill him,” Sail ordered without raising his voice. I had every advantage this time, they were too far away to rush me and I had plenty of space to move around. Torn Sail just stood there with a smug look as the remaining pirates descended on me.

“Last mistake,” I commented just loud enough to be heard over the screaming pirates before I moved. My swords sang as I twisted and cut through the first row, then hopped over the second to break the backs of two more while also stabbing another pair. Now they couldn't push me around and I could just run them out. Sailors are a very perishable resource and dry up quickly when given bad orders.

As expected, they backed off when they realized that not one of their dead fellows had managed to touch me. Not particularly surprising, earth ponies aren't much good in a swordfight. They don't have any reach and just holding the sword blocks their view, not to mention how they expose their necks when they swing. Meanwhile I had these things called arms, which allowed for a much greater range of motion without putting vital areas in danger.

It seemed like my luck was finally turning around, the pirates had gone on the defensive and were backing towards a more concerned looking Sail while I stalked towards them. They deserted when they couldn't back up any further, jumping the rail and making to swim for the shore. Then I was alone with Torn Sail, who stood frozen in disbelief for a moment before fumbling in his attempt to draw his fancy sword. He tried to run after I lazily reached over and cut his belt, sending his sword clattering to the deck. A thrown sword through his leg ended his flight after a single step, leaving him at my nonexistent mercy.

“You broke my ship,” I stated as I grabbed him by the throat and tore him off of the sword, all but severing his leg below the knee.

“What are you?” He demanded fearfully.

“Your nightmares made manifest,” I replied while dragging him towards the mast.

“Look, I'm sorry about all of this! I'm sure we can come to an understanding, I'll pay you whatever you want! I'll work for you, help you build a fleet instead of just one ship! I'll do anything, just please don't kill me!” Sail begged.

“I'm not going to kill you,” I responded as I wrapped a well chosen rope around his neck and tied it off.

“You're not? You're just taking me to prison?” Sail reasoned, his relief clear in his voice.

“No. Gravity and this rope are going to kill you, pirates get hanged,” I corrected before yanking down on the other end of the rope and propelling Sail up the mast. He struggled for a long time, a result of me not tying him down as tightly as I should have, but that mattered little after I tied the rope off and walked away from the dying pirate.

It took us almost a full day to get the massive clusterfuck of ships into the harbor, longer still for the Baltimare authorities to round up the surviving pirates and root them out of every hiding space on the galleon.

The conversation I'd had with the guard captain that came to investigate when we lashed to the pier is worthy of making it into this story.

“Would anypony care to explain what I'm looking at?” He demanded indignantly.

“Doesn't look like it, that right is usually reserved for the captain,” I snarked as I landed on the dock, my coat still in tatters and my back littered with arrows. We'd gotten a few out, but it was slow going and there were more important things to worry about.

“Explain yourself,” the guard ordered.

“You said anypony, I'm a minotaur. So nopony is willing to explain, but somebody is,” I replied, getting a few laughs from my crew.

“Keep it up and I'll have you in irons,” the guard threatened.

“I doubt that, the papers would crucify you. Privateer captain ends pirate reign of terror, arrested for rudeness. Fantastic headline, wouldn't you say?” I mocked.

“Fine, would somebody explain what this mess is doing in my harbor?” He relented.

“Did you miss the massive battle just over there?” I asked.

“I heard it, sure. Are you saying you're survivors from that?” He pressed.

“Survivors? We bloody won mate, we're fuckin’ champions of the sea!” My bosun shouted.

“Torn Sail hangs from the mast, his fleet now sails below the waves. I am Hugo the Red, privateer and terror of pirates the world over,” I introduced with a flourish that would've looked even more pretentious if I'd still had my hat. I hadn't noticed that it had flown off until the battle was over, didn’t really care either.

“Iron Sentry, captain of the local guard regiment. I can't say I've ever heard of you,” Sentry replied.

“Ask around. You'll need to watch the coastline for survivors and search the galleon here, more than a few either abandoned ship or are otherwise unaccounted for. If all goes well, you should be hanging pirates for the rest of the week,” I informed him, all but ignoring his implied question.

“You truly expect me to believe that you and your crew singlehoofedly took out a pirate fleet? I think it's more likely that you're pirates trying to slip into my city,” Sentry demanded. I could tell he didn't believe that but had to try every narrative anyway.

“My papers are in my cabin, one of my crew will search the wreckage for them,” I allowed, causing him to look at the remains of my ship as it clung to the galleon like a parasite.

“Have you laid a claim on these vessels?” Sentry asked, convinced enough to drop his act.

“Verbally, I'll need to do the paperwork once we finish here,” I replied.

“It can wait until after you've seen an apothecary,” Sentry suggested.

“I was actually thinking of leaving them in, makes me look more fearsome,” I responded sarcastically, “But really, they're barely through the skin. I believe there's another issue you're neglecting?”

“Dock fees? Forget them, I don't want to even try figuring out how many spaces you're taking up with this mess,” Sentry guessed.

“Much obliged, but I was referring to the bounty. What was Torn Sail up to?” I corrected.

“Fifty big shines and a kurk,” One of my crew replied.

“Fifty thousands bits for his head, another ten if he's already dead,” I translated.

“What was that language?” Sentry asked, distracted by the nonsense.

“Pubwalla,” the same crewpony replied.

“He's drunk,” I clarified.

“Uh, okay then. What was that number? Sixty thousand bits? That'll take time for me to get. I'll have to report this back to Canterlot headquarters as well,” Sentry responded, going slightly pale at the figure.

“I'll drop in tomorrow morning to give my statement,” I replied, “I think my crew wants to celebrate seeing today at all.”

Sentry nodded and stepped out of the way as the fifteen surviving crew members disembarked to limp after me towards the town.

“Alright boys, we have a choice to make,” I announced after two hours of solid drinking at the nearest bar. They'd earned it as far as I was concerned, our official business could wait until we were finished honoring our dead.

“How to spend all the money were about to make?” One crewpony cried, raising cheers from the rest.

“Do we repair the Carbonaro or move everything to the galleon?” I asked, silencing their ruckus.

“The bigger broadsides and more storage would be good.”

“More crew space as well, means we can get in and out faster.”

“Yeah, dedicated oarsponies so we don't have to break our backs in calm seas.”

“I don't like it, that thing seems like it would just invite trouble.”

“It couldn't turn for shit.”

“We could fix that, I heard from a guy about a new rudder that works a lot better on big ships.”

“Can we afford that?”

“We could if we did a few runs with the galleon and took a pay cut,” I allowed.

“How about both, we could run both ships as the start of a fleet.”

“No, I can't watch over both ships. I'm no admiral, I'm a captain,” I responded.

“Then take your pick captain, which one do you want?” My bosun replied.


And The Rest Is History


“So which one did ya choose?” Bloom asked.

“Maybe you'll find out someday,” I teased.

“Tradition is more important on the ocean than on land, he kept the Carbonaro,” Luna guessed.

“How sure are you?” I asked.

“Quite, it's the only way the numbers match. Forty-six guns on three decks, you would have added more if you got a bigger ship,” Luna replied.

“You were listening for longer than I thought. Yes, I kept my frigate and sold the galleon,” I allowed.

“To some miserable jerk that paid to keep it maintained in dry dock,” Luna continued.

“Get out of my head,” I warned.

“I'm not using magic, I just doubt that you would cut ties with something as valuable as the open ocean,” Luna pressed.

“Ships are a massive expenditure, I'd be hard pressed to maintain one back then. Buying one would've been completely out of the question,” I retorted, “But I did sell it to someone who did just that.”

“Lucky guess then,” Luna allowed, “One question though, why was the bounty higher if he was dead? That seems to be the opposite of what I'd heard.”

“Some criminals are politically connected or are otherwise hard to convict, it's easier just to prove that they're dead. Prince Torn Sail would be a perfect example. Or more relevantly to the current age, if Blueblood started murdering homeless ponies,” I answered.

“Would you collect that bounty?” Luna asked. I recognized the trap, but walked into it anyway.

“You're damn right I would, I'd drop his head on your sister's desk. Murderers don't get to step within sight of my nieces,” I replied instantly.

“Except you,” Luna countered.

“Obviously, though whether what I do can be called murder is up for debate. Some might point out that murder means an unlawful killing, but all of mine can be classified as acts in accordance with the rules of war or part of local ordinances,” I pointed out.

“War? What war? Against the Crystal Kingdom? That was a thousand years ago,” Luna protested.

“Never surrendered, no treaties, no formal end of hostilities. Technically speaking, the war is still on,” I replied.

“That is an intensely problematic statement, it makes you a hostile invader at best and a subversive agent at worst,” Luna pointed out.

I simply stared at her until she dropped her head and sighed.

“I'm a fool. I already knew both of those were true,” Luna relented.

“Then you'll stick with the choice you've already made?” I mused.

“What choice?” Luna asked.

“To side with the lesser evil and stick with me,” I clarified.

“That's not a choice, I have nothing else,” Luna protested.

“Sure you do. You have your health and an effectively unlimited amount of time to build yourself up. I highly recommend getting into land, it's quite a lucrative business,” I countered.

“You really want me to say it? Fine. I need you for more than a roof over my head and gold in my purse. I'm angry at you for what you did, but I still love you,” Luna seethed. 

“For that part, I apologize. My intention was never to upset you or add to the conflict in your life,” I offered, hoping the olive branch would be enough.

“I suppose that'll have to do. Apology accepted,” Luna allowed before noticing that the Apples had left at some point. I hadn't noticed them leave either, my only clue being when Luna looked around for them.

“Shall we go home then?” I suggested.

“Let's walk, I have a feeling that I'll get buried in paperwork as soon as we arrive,” Luna responded, a slightly sheepish tone entering her voice.

“Sounds good to me, it's such a nice day after all,” I agreed despite knowing full well that it was scheduled to rain in less than ten minutes.

“So,” Luna began as we set off in Abaddon's general direction, “How much of that story was true?”

“All of it, though I left out some parts,” I replied honestly.

“Such as?” Luna prompted.

“The fact that Torn Sail was a pegasus, a bastard, and the real way I killed him,” I listed.

“Something juicy I take it? Unsuitable for young ears?” Luna guessed.

“Remember how I said I hadn't wrapped his neck tight enough? He was able to use his wings to steal breaths, which he then used to call my mother a whore,” I began.

“You did much the same to them, it doesn't seem like much of an insult given the context,” Luna commented.

“True, but it was the principal of the matter. So what I did in retaliation was go below deck to find myself a decently small herreshoff anchor, then I went back on deck. Sail never would have guessed what that anchor was for, at least until I cut him down and forced the entire anchor up his ass. Strung him back up by the anchor afterwards. It was very gruesome, even by my standards,” I concluded.

“The whole anchor? Why would you even think to do that?” Luna demanded, aghast at the mental image I was sure she was now haunted by.

“Well you see, there was this song on my world that was just perfect for the situation and it popped into my head at that moment. It's called ‘Fucked With an Anchor,’” I replied, grinning widely.

“Please never do that in my presence, just the thought is turning my stomach. In fact, let's never talk about Torn Sail again,” Luna requested.

“Sure,” I allowed. After a few minutes of awkward silence as we walked, I decided to have a little fun, “~Fuck. You. You're a fuckin' wanker. We're gonna punch you right in the balls. Fuck. You. With a fuckin' anchor. You're all cunts so fuck you all.~”

“You are the biggest asshole to ever walk Equis,” Luna declared, snickering.

“Aye,” I agreed, losing my grin when a torrent of rain chose that moment to fall on our heads. I covered Luna with a wing without thinking about it, but left myself in the downpour. The rain abruptly halted a half second later, though that was an easier mystery to solve. All it took was a glance to see the shield Luna was projecting around us to ward off the rain. Why it had been instinct instead of conscious effort that had lead to the wing over Luna was what dominated my thoughts.

“You have a look,” Luna commented.

“My face didn't move, I don't do looks unless I want to,” I countered.

“You still have a look,” Luna rebutted.

“Fine, I'm concerned,” I relented.

“Is it the southern border? Tzu had another idea of how to handle that,” Luna guessed, offering me a perfect excuse until I figured myself out.

“Did he? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, that is his primary function,” I replied.

“Job,” Luna corrected, “Calling it a function makes him sound like a machine or spell.”

“Sore spot?” I assumed.

“Pet peeve, yes. Tia said it a few too many times for my liking,” Luna admitted with no change in tone.

“I still don't believe that she's any different,” I stated, thankful for another change in subject. I really didn't want to talk about myself at the moment.

“I do. I think I have to. It doesn't mean I forgive her, but she's better than she was before and we're being followed,” Luna responded casually, so casually that I almost missed the warning at the end. 

I halted abruptly and turned around on the spot, “It's generally unwise to stalk me, doubly so for one that can send you into orbit with a thought.”

“Subtle,” Luna deadpanned.

I scoffed and returned to my previous path when the figure revealed itself. I wouldn't call our shadow harmless, but I seriously doubted that it was looking to fight either of us.

“You really ought to keep him on a tighter leash,” I chided as Luna caught up to me and resumed our pace.

“Fang? I forbade him from hurting anyone that didn't pose a direct threat,” Luna protested.

“I did the same thing, then he mauled Trixie's mom and made another survivor for me to feel guilty about,” I snapped more harshly than intended.

“Stop it, what really has you so on edge?” Luna demanded.

“I. Don't. Know,” I growled dangerously, intending to force her into recognizing that it was a subject I didn't want to talk about.

“How about we skip the part where I pry it out of you and you just tell me what's wrong?” Luna requested, “And drop the scary demon guy act, I'm just a little past that by this point.”

“I held a wing out for you.”

“So? That's pretty far from being a big deal.”

“I did it without thinking about it.”

“Again, so?”

“I consider every action, every shift. Growing a wing and holding it out for you should have at least crossed my mind, given time for judging the best size and angle for it at least,” I explained.

“That sounds really annoying, but I wouldn't worry about it. I'd assume I was simply growing on you,” Luna chuckled, still not understanding what I was trying to say.

“But it isn't me, that's not how this works. I don't grow limbs without effort, it requires the moving and configuration of biomass, allocation of resources, cost versus benefit analyses, things like that. I do not shift on instinct,” I insisted.

“Cost versus benefit?” Luna repeated, disbelieving.

“You want an example? Here. I use all of the weapons in the game my body came from except one. That being the hammerfists,” I began, flooding my hands with biomass to demonstrate and weighing them down enough to make me hunch, “I don't use these because of the easy target they make me. I'm slower and it presents an easy target to wreck as much of my mass as possible with little effort. Shoot one of these with a cure bullet and you'll knock out two fifths of my entire mass. Potential cost is much too high, I'd rather carry a hammer instead.”

“I guess that's a fair point,” Luna admitted, “But I still don't understand why providing me with shelter bothered you.”

“You're messing with me,” I stated.

“I am indeed,” Luna confessed with a sly smile, “I believe your instinctive movement is related to the other changes you're undergoing, along with sleeping.”

“Good enough for now, I'll put it on the Sierras’ list just to be sure though,” I allowed, hoping she was right. 

A knock on the shield stole our attention, directing it towards a sopping wet and scared looking enforcer. Luna let Fang in right away and ushered him to walk with us.

“What's wrong?” Luna asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Many dangers, not safe for you here,” Fang insisted, seeming terrified of something. I readied my claws just to be safe, but doubted there was anything out there. My guards did not get days off after all.

“Jay?” Luna asked, now mirroring Fang's fear.

“Gamma?” I asked in turn, prompting an enforcer to emerge from behind a nearby tree.

“Nothing but bugs and the occasional squirrel, no threats of any kind,” The Gamma replied before looking up and cracking a joke, “Except pneumonia maybe.”

“See! VINDICATION! MAny dANgERs here. Need to go home, SAFE there!” Fang declared. He sounded and looked even more unhinged than usual.

“Fang, are you afraid of the rain?” Luna asked sympathetically.

“Mmhmm,” Fang whimpered.

“Please don't encourage him,” I sighed, placing a clawed hand to my face in embarrassment. I should have guessed as much, declaring war on the rain was par for the course when Fang was involved.

“Settle down Fang, the rain isn't bad,” Luna chided, taking a somewhat hard stance on the subject.

“It is BAD, it attacks you. You defend against it, see?” Fang insisted, pointing at the shield.

“It isn't attacking us, we just don't want to be wet and cold,” Luna countered.

“He's not going to understand, all he sees is you using a combat spell,” I pointed out, causing Luna to reconsider her argument. Fang didn't seem to notice that I was there or acknowledge my words, so the advice didn't throw him off in the slightest.

“I...No, I'm not having this argument. Fang, you are to deal with this fear and remain silent until we get home,” Luna admonished sternly, making the centuries old murder machine flinch and move to follow behind her like a child that had been caught misbehaving.

“Good work,” I praised as we resumed our trek.

We walked in a somehow more uncomfortable silence for a few minutes until a seemingly innocuous bird call sent Fang and I into a defensive posture, much to Luna's confusion.

“What is it now? Are the birds evil too?” Luna asked in exasperation.

“No birds,” I responded curtly.

“No calls in the rain, it's a warning,” Fang added, sounding lucid. I'd thank my lucky stars for that timing later, once we had dealt with whatever was approaching.

Both of us stood down when a familiar yellow pegasus stepped out of the bushes.

“Why the hell did they call a warning over you?” I asked as I reformed my hands, “That's supposed to be used for dangerous things.”

“I-I can't say, maybe because-” Fluttershy began before something fast impacted my head. I heard Luna's scream of pain before my hearing cut out. It took me an eighth of a second to puzzle together what had happened. I had been struck with a cure bullet, one that had shattered the basic shield Luna had been projecting. I'd been hit in the forehead, placing the trajectory well off Luna's left side. Her pain must have come from magical feedback instead of a real wound. My pain was much easier to figure out, I'd just had a hundred pounds of biomass poisoned and killed by that bullet.

My head reformed in under a second, but that had been plenty of time for Fang to dart forward and grab Shy by the throat.

“Hold,” I ordered as I approached the pair. I had clearly been the target, inclining me to let Luna defend herself, “What were you going to say?”

“Something has my animal friends scared too,” Shy concluded in a voice that was somewhere between a strangled croak and a terrified squeak.

“Let her go, it was a shot of opportunity,” I instructed, causing Fang to unceremoniously drop Shy onto the mud, “That was a bit harsh, I said she wasn't involved. Sorry about him, he's batshit insane. Come with us, we'll get you cleaned up.”

“Oh, it's okay, I really don't want to be a bother. Especially after I got you shot and everything,” Shy responded meekly, though it was clear to the whole world that she wanted away from this place more than anything else.

“You good Lu?” I asked as I motioned for Fang to gently collect Shy.

“That hurt a lot, I don't think magic is on the menu right now,” Luna complained as she returned to her hooves and brushed some of the mud off of her side from when she'd fallen over.

“Backup plan then. Fang, give me a wall,” I responded as I gathered my stolen power.

“Where are we going?” Shy asked nervously.

“Our vacation home, nothing to worry about,” Luna replied with a grimace, her horn was smoking slightly and was clearly bothering her.

“You mean Tartarus? I'm so sorry for getting you hurt, please don't take me there,” Shy pleaded as she scrambled to escape from Fang. I already had the portal open by then and Luna was stepping through ahead of the rest of us. Shy had her eyes shut tight and didn't seem to notice me taking her from Fang and bringing her through to the warmer locale.

Fang simply nodded and removed the wall, trapping himself on the other side. I knew where he was going and expected to find the spine of the sharpshooter on my desk when we got home, he wouldn't be Fang otherwise.

“Please, demons are so scary. I don't want them to eat me!” Shy wailed.

“Fluttershy, I highly doubt they would do that. At least the ones we employ,” Luna insisted.

Harry was just opening the door to greet us when he froze, “You, I know you.”

“Yes Harry, I'm your boss. It would be weird if you didn't know me,” I snarked.

“Duh Boss, of course I know you and your better half. I meant the little one, that's Fluttershy. The Fluttershy,” Harry gushed as he hustled to a spot ten feet away from the mare in my arms.

“I-wha-EEEEEK A DEMON!” Fluttershy squeaked as she fought harder to escape. I was forced to let her go before she hurt herself, allowing her to sprint into the corner and shiver in fear.

Harry moved to maintain the distance and crouched to seem less imposing, “Hello Fluttershy, my name is Harry. I've heard a lot about you from our mutual friend.”

“Damnit Sweetie Belle,” I cursed as I led Luna to the nearest sofa and sat down next to her to watch the show. Bringing Shy hadn't been ideal, but she was a target of opportunity as well and it would have been a major hit to national morale if that shooter had gotten her.

One of the maids brought Luna an unrequested drink, which she promptly poured on her own head before asking for another.

“Please don't eat me,” Shy begged piteously as she tried to shrink even smaller.

“I wouldn't dream of it. Kindness is something very rare down here, the amount that was shown to me when I escaped is something I treasure very much,” Harry responded quietly. Shy opened one eye just enough to see the demon before her and clamped it shut as soon as she got a look at him, “I know, I look scary and my head is on fire and all that stuff. Do you know what I did when I lived on the surface?”

“No,” Shy squeaked, but at least she didn't flinch this time.

“I made vegetable kebabs, I'd set the sticks on my horns and let the fire cook them right on top of my head,” Harry chuckled.

“I remember that. You're Jekyll's friend, from the Crystal Kingdom? You're that Harry?” Shy asked, her eye opening again.

“That's me,” Harry confirmed with a soft smile, “I promise you that you're safe here, no one will hurt you.”

“L-Luna?” Shy stammered.

“He's a ripper type demon, they don't know how to lie,” Luna replied as she poured another glass of water onto her steaming horn, “I don't suppose I could get another? And something stronger for my headache?”

“What's a ripper?” Shy wondered as she finally stopped shaking and started to leave her corner.

“The embodiment of what you would call wrath, there's a reason we're the first thing that comes to mind when you think of a demon. We are usually the ones to cause a great deal of suffering and death during an incursion, at least under the previous king. Lord Jekyll doesn't approve of that, so we don't break through and kill people anymore,” Harry answered honestly, sending Shy back into her corner.

“Couldn't you at least omit some of that?” I sighed.

“No,” Harry replied. When Shy refused to move or speak further, Harry moved closer until he was sitting against the wall next to her, “I thought I enjoyed those fights, all that bloodshed, but I found true happiness pushing that simple cart around the city and making children smile when they saw the funny demon with kebabs on his head.”

That got Shy's attention once more, prompting her to sit up and look at him without fear, “You really can't lie? You really liked to cook more than fighting?”

“I'll never understand you other races and your aversion to the truth, it doesn't make any sense. Even now it makes you question everything, I see no point to it,” Harry laughed.

“But you might hurt someone with the truth if it's bad,” Shy argued. I doubted that she believed what she was saying, but Harry was no stranger to skeptics.

“Then they are hurt, that isn't the fault of the truth. Metaphysical concepts cannot be responsible for pain, nor are the ones who speak it,” Harry responded simply.

“Would you list all the wrongs you have done? Even if it cost you your friends?” Shy pressed.

“I have done nothing that was wrong at the time that I did it, the king of Tartarus decides those things. By the current law, I am a mass murderer and scum of the highest order. My crimes by your law are uncountable, murder was my job and I was quite good at it. Now my job is to do a great deal of paperwork and see to the daily operations of Tartarus, I'm quite good at this job as well. I could spend the rest of your mortal life listing everything you would call a crime and feel no shame because there is no shame in honesty,” Harry confirmed.

“Wow, your convictions are made of iron aren't they?” Shy commented.

“Indeed,” Harry chuckled as he patted her shoulder, causing her to flinch at the unexpected contact, “Sorry, old habit.”

“No, it's fine. That was a lot softer than I'd expected from someone so big,” Shy allowed, prompting Harry to return his hand to her shoulder.

“I promised that no harm would come to you,” Harry responded simply.

“So you did. Are you sure the others here will be so nice?” Shy asked as one of the maids approached them. Shy didn't try to hide this time and accepted the glass of water she was offered.

“Dear, the only others you'll see are my sisters. We don't do the whole fighting thing if we can help it, not really our style. I'm Mop by the way, big fan,” the maid replied with a smile before hurrying off to her next task.

“This place is a lot nicer than I was expecting,” Shy confessed.

“Only the best for my guests,” I declared as I propped my feet up and settled in.

“That's all there are? Just a few demons?” Shy asked in confusion, recognizing that this was counter to my previous descriptions.

“That you will likely see during your stay. You will probably encounter a guard if you wander away from this room, or another member of the staff if business comes up, but neither of those are particularly likely,” Harry corrected, “You will see too many demons if you somehow leave the palace, and they will kill you before the air can eat your lungs.”

“What was that about the air?” Luna asked suddenly.

“Chill, I fixed it when we came back inside. Takes days of exposure anyway,” I responded before anything could come of the comment.

“So aside from waiting for my feedback sickness to pass, why are we here?” Luna wondered.

“Killing time while Fang kills our attacker, and using that time to get cleaned up. Both of you ladies are covered in mud,” I pointed out, causing Luna to look at the mess she'd made on the sofa.

“Ah, will this clean easily?” Luna asked.

“I have no idea, I employ people for that,” I replied.

“I suppose that's fair. Fluttershy, have you ever been washed by another? It's quite relaxing once you get used to it,” Luna commented as four of the maids appeared from wherever they'd been listening in from.

“Bathing? With others? Oh no, I hated that in flight school,” Shy protested.

“I assure you that we are professionals ma'am, there will be no locker room tomfoolery here,” one of the demons declared.

“Says the worst gossip I have ever met,” Luna teased as she stood from her seat, “Sorry about the mess, I forgot all about the mud.”

“Don't worry about it my queen, a little surface mud is nothing to concern yourself with,” a different maid assured her as both of the ponies were led away, one looking much less comfortable with the idea than the other.

“When the fuck did Lu get a bath here?” I asked once they were out of earshot.
> Chapter 36: Much Ado About Demons
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Perspective: Luna


I hadn’t been trying to be mean when I suggested that Fluttershy should allow herself to be bathed by the maids, but apparently it was an acquired taste. The poor thing shivered and protested for so long that I’m fairly sure she tuned herself out. It wasn’t even sharing a bath that had her worked up, it was being pampered.

That’s the part that perplexed me, as I knew she visited the local spa every Tuesday with Rarity Belle. I chuckled at the thought of her putting up this much of a fuss every week.

“Miss Fluttershy? Would you mind if I asked a personal question?” I requested.

“I’m sorry. No really, I can get that. I’m so sorry, but I’m sure I know how to polish my hooves. Excuse me, you really don’t have to get every feather. Oh gosh, I really don’t mean to be such a bother. You really don’t need to focus on me so much. Please, this really isn’t necessary. Of course Luna, what did you need? I’ll get my mane, I’m pretty good at getting the mud out. Oh, okay, I guess you want to preen me as well,” Fluttershy rambled, though I was somewhat sure I heard a proper response in there somewhere.

“Do you protest this much at the spa every week? What I know of Aloe and Lotus implies that they prefer customers that don’t talk as much,” I mused slyly, quieting Fluttershy for a few seconds.

“Well, no, but I know Aloe and Lotus, they-” Fluttershy began.

“Hold your positions!” I snapped before the maids could act on their instincts. I’d spent more than enough time on the same continent as Catrix to know what their definition of an introduction was.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Fluttershy squeaked as she shuffled as far away from me as the frozen maids would allow.

“I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to them. You need to set rules before saying anything that could have a double meaning, unless you are both into mares and airing your private business in the open. I suspect neither and would rather you not act on them in front of me if you did, thus my intervention. I’ll set the rules for you this time, just repeat them whenever you are in the vicinity of another of their species. The yellow pony is Fluttershy, Fluttershy does not want to play with you right now. Fluttershy will expressly tell you if she does want to play,” I instructed, getting a couple sorrowful looks before the maids relaxed and returned to cleaning the two of us.

“Are you sure that was necessary? It sounded really mean and games are a great way to make new friends,” Fluttershy protested.

“Mop, who would you say is the most compatible with surface life among your kind?” I asked, temporarily deflecting the question.

“Catrix, she has the most experience and isn’t drawn close to insanity by being forced to wear clothes all the time,” the succubus answered instantly.

“Fluttershy, did you hear about the time Rainbow Dash and Catrix were left alone with one another?” I prompted.

“She thought it was funny, but I thought it sounded gross and scary,” Fluttershy responded with yet another shiver.

“That’s what they call a game, but you may introduce them to checkers if you like,” I concluded.

“Oh, wait, do you really hate wearing clothes?” Fluttershy asked, somehow finding the one detail she could be compassionate about.

“We only put them on when we have guests, King Jekyll requires us to. I think it has something to do with us distracting others when he’s trying to do important business, but that was all decided long before we worked here,” Maya replied instantly.

“Humph, hardly surprising that. You talk like we’ve been here for years,” Gretya chided, her harsh words failing to match her slightly amused tone.

“I don’t mind wearing clothes,” Timid added with her usual small voice, I would have suspected Fluttershy of having said that if I hadn’t seen the demon speak. Fluttershy’s full attention was drawn to Timid in an instant, making the demon flinch even though they were clearly kindred spirits.

“You don’t need to be afraid Timid, the two of you might have been sisters if the stars had aligned differently,” I reassured the demon.

“Timid and Shy, I can see it,” Maya agreed.

“Do you like animals?” Fluttershy asked innocently, seemingly trying to follow our implications and make another new friend. This had the opposite effect and made Timid go pale in fear.

“She’s had a few too many negative experiences with animals, but she used to,” Mop answered quickly, coming to her sister’s aid. I leaned back and contented myself with watching Fluttershy strive to remedy the situation while Mop and Gretya tended to my hygiene.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, some animals can be pretty mean,” Fluttershy agreed sympathetically, “But I’m a veterinarian so a lot of my friends are nice animals that I’ve helped, I can’t help but hope that you’d like them too.”

“My que-Luna?” Timid asked, deflecting the question.

“As I understand it, Fluttershy is quite picky about her friends. I sincerely doubt any of her animals would consider harming you unless you directly attacked her,” I consoled, finally drawing a nod of agreement out of the shy maid.

“I’ll need to coordinate it with Harry and my sisters so our duty to maintain the palace doesn’t suffer, but maybe I can secure a few minutes of time off,” Timid allowed.

“A few minutes? Are you all kept that busy?” I asked in surprise.

“Of course, it’s how we pay for the honor of living in the palace,” Maya replied as though this was common knowledge.

“How much leisure time do you get in a day?” I asked more pointedly.

“A day? Maybe three minutes while we walk between tasks, another five if we don’t fall asleep right away,” Gretya answered with a shrug, “Why, did you find something lacking? I keep telling Harry that this much downtime is going to make us lazy.”

“Ponies typically work for eight hours a day, with the rest reserved for meals and leisure,” I stated flatly, causing all of the demons to look at me in surprise, “Perhaps tripling your number is in order, that way you may enjoy the fruits of your labor and potentially earn supervised visits to the surface. Would I be correct in assuming each of you can name at least two others that share your sentiments?”

“Third knows about ten thousand that you’d get along with, she wasn’t very popular with the masters after her main one tossed her away so she got around more than most,” Mop advised, “Good luck narrowing the search though, Third takes things pretty literal so mistakes happen a lot.”

“So be it, I’ll inform Harry of my requirements and let him sort it out,” I allowed, intent on reducing the workload of my most steadfast allies in Tartarus.

“This one heard her name,” Third stated flatly as she seemingly materialized out of the aether.

“I intend to triple your numbers, Harry is going to need names. Specifically succubi that share the attitudes of your peers and hate the incubi as much as the rest of us. Harry will provide more specific details,” I instructed, knowing this particular succubus didn’t care for the finer points of conversation.

“It will be done as you say,” Third replied in her odd way before walking out the door.

“Is she okay?” Fluttershy asked in genuine concern as she followed the demon’s departure.

“No,” Gretya replied simply.

“Her master was cruel even by incubus standards, she’s been like that for millennia. Physically she’s fine, death resets our bodies back to perfect condition, but mentally speaking, there’s very little left of her,” Maya elaborated sadly.

“Last time you mentioned that he liked her eyes, could it be that he placed too many limits on her for her to experience anything?” I guessed.

“He’s dead, permanently. King Jekyll put him down for good. Any charms he placed on her would have died with him, her condition has to be from the trauma,” Mop refuted.

“Doesn’t he try not to do that? Cat gets very cross when he mentions killing demons, it’s odd that you’re so casual about it,” I asked, finding their behavior offputting.

“More like tries to hide it,” Maya chuckled.

“Yeah, he’s probably ripping one apart right now. Murders one every time he drops in, real slow like too. Hey, see? The balance is already adapting,” Mop agreed as she lifted her bangs to reveal nubby horns starting to poke through the skin of her forehead.

“Cat is going to be livid. Stars above, I’m livid. Why would he lie to me about this?” I demanded, my mood instantly flashing to anger as I recognized yet another deception so soon after the last.

“Cat’s more concerned with everyone else and forgetting her past to realize little changes like this are happening, she wouldn’t know unless you told her. I can’t speculate as to why you weren’t told; not my place,” Gretya scowled, obviously more concerned with the change than the others.

“Um, Luna? Are you okay?” Fluttershy squeaked, my anger vanished when I saw her fear and recognized that it was directed towards me. I hadn’t been that angry, more peeved than anything else at the injustice. I hadn’t truly meant it when I said I was livid, but Fluttershy looked ready to bolt at the sight of me anyway.

I found the reason in her wide eyes. The reflection off of those frozen orbs of fear was not of me, and that had me matching her terror in an instant. My fur had turned black.

“Could you, um, could you forget that happened until I find a way to fix it?” I stammered nervously.

“I-I can try, can you promise not to k-kill me?” Fluttershy responded, matching my tone. I nodded before she was even finished speaking, not trusting my voice. 

“I think this is good enough for now, I’ll be back on Wednesday for the usual,” I bid as I hustled out of the room. I needed to see what was wrong, how it had happened, and how to keep it from happening. There was only one person I knew that could give me a clinical answer, and I was hoping with everything I had that it was a clinical issue.

I returned to the main hall of our chambers just as a scaly clawed foot disappeared into Jay, but his murder of the incubi was far outside of my priorities at this point. Still, he looked at me in surprise when I caught him in the act.

“Are we going to have another arg...u...ment…. Are you alright? Did someone hurt you?” Jay demanded, surpassing my meager excuse for rage by a hundredfold at the very thought. It took me a moment to realize that I was crying, but I still had to explain what had happened if I was going to find a solution.

“My fur turned black,” I managed, though I doubted I’d be able to get out much more or I’d risk sobbing on the spot. I was immediately whisked off the floor and set on the couch while Jay sat next to me and held me protectively. It occurred to me that in this position he could break my neck in a heartbeat if I really was falling to the Nightmare again. Oddly, that was the thought that gave me some peace and the strength to continue speaking, “I-I found out about the-the incubi and got angry. Not so much as before, mostly because you lied to me. But when I saw my-her reflection in Fluttershy’s eyes, I saw my fur was as black as the void. I don’t want to be her ever again.”

Jay didn’t speak, but I felt something touch my mind as the memory played out as vividly as when it had first happened.

“Your eyes didn’t change, nor did your heart. Didn’t the change happen in the opposite order the first time? Your mind turned before your body? Perhaps this is a holdover from that time, something harmless,” Jay appeased, though I was having none of it.

“It’s too dangerous to bet on maybes, I need to be watched and put down if I start slipping,” I insisted.

“Luna, we both know I’d never let that happen. Either of those. You will not go dark side, no matter how many cookies they offer,” Jay insisted, confusing me for a moment before I shrugged off the comment as him trying to lighten the mood, “Besides, I have it on good authority that the cookies are oatmeal-raisin anyway.”

That actually made me smile, at least some things refused to change.

“Whatever the cause, I can say that it’s magical in nature. The question is whether it’s Tartarus acting on you or a subconscious self affliction. I did notice some odd activity when you got angry, so it might just be a minor transmutation. Hell, it’s probably both but that’s just a guess,” Jay mused, turning analytical now that my emotional needs were met for the moment. I furrowed my brow at the sudden change in his attitude, but it wasn’t as if this was anything new, “As expected, that same neural activity just before you swap personas.”

I froze at that and looked at my hoof in horror, it was as dark as my worst nightmares. I began to hyperventilate, but the color didn’t change back like before. I felt arms wrap around my body to crush me into oblivion, but instead they gently tightened into a hug. By the time I was released a few seconds later, my hoof was blue again.

“Alright then, I think we’ll need to hit this from two directions. One, get you to not be afraid of the change, and two, help you control it. That memory, the way Nightmare changed your body to match her twisted ideal, is still in there. I think you accidentally called on it and now it’s fresh in your mind and continuing to pop up,” Jay advised as gently as he could in teacher mode.

“Absolutely not, I want it stricken from my mind so it never happens again,” I rebuked sternly.

“Can’t and won’t. Too valuable of a lesson and it’s too deep to partition, plus the very public nature of Nightmare’s stunt would just break the barrier anyway,” Jay explained calmly, causing me to take a breath in an effort to follow the example he was trying to set. The simple act reminded me of Father, as it was one of his mannerisms. It would appear to be a constant in all families.

“Cat then?” I guessed.

“Twilight first, she’ll help with identifying the magic in play. Then Cat will get called in if I’m right,” Jay corrected in that same excessively calm tone. I simply nodded, unwilling to think about it too hard lest I risk another shift.

Jay left orders to keep Fluttershy safe until she chose to leave, at which point she would be escorted to the portal we were now walking towards. It felt like we’d been in Tartarus for at least an hour, but the rain was still coming down as hard as it could be expected to get.

“Now that’s not right, it was only supposed to last for another twenty minutes when we left,” Jay commented as Abaddon created an overhang to keep us dry.

I continued trying my best to keep my mind clear as I was led into the bowels of the leviathan, but even the floor inside was much too wet for an autumn rainshower to produce. I remained silent until we reached our room, where I allowed myself to be lifted onto the bed and sedated until help arrived.

“Good night,” I bid gratefully as my eyes grew heavy and I slipped away.


Perspective Change: Jekyll


I was a damn idiot to the core, but the damage was done. I’d left Luna emotionally scarred because I had once again failed to hold my temper when some idiot incubus petitioned for the slavery laws under Belial to be reintroduced. I’d killed while Luna was in Tartarus before, but hadn’t expected her to get any of the magic backwash. She’d even changed after I extracted the demonic magic from her system, marking it as a permanent change.

Despite all of that, I hadn’t lied. The memory had only been awoken, it hadn’t been a new development. Perhaps this could be swung in our favor, have her conquer and consume Nightmare Moon once and for all. It was worth a try, it would disturb our enemies even if the public didn’t buy it.

“Well?” a demanding voice asked impatiently, drawing my attention back to the moment. I’d wandered onto the deck, where an irritated bioform stood staring at me like she expected me to step in to help her.

“I thought you wanted me to keep my distance?” I teased, smiling gently at Six. I noticed she was wearing thick rubber boots this time, obviously in an effort to keep her secrets from me.

“Are you going to push this storm back or what? Three pegasi are already in the hospital,” Six snapped, showing sharp teeth in a threat that meant a lot more coming from her than every pony I had ever seen replicate the gesture combined.

“I had no idea, I’ve been helping Lu through a crisis,” I replied easily, maintaining my aloof attitude.

“I’m sorry, I thought you were ignoring us,” Six apologized, her tone changing instantly now that Luna's health was in question. I briefly considered taking offense to her higher regard for Luna, but shrugged it off as a well deserved distinction, “Is she alright?”

“No, but she will be. She needs Twilight Sparkle’s help before anything else,” I replied, getting serious now that Six was acting like a normal person.

“Then our goals are aligned once again, she’s helping with the stormfront. That thunderhead will flood the entire area if we can’t break it up,” Six insisted.

I snapped my fingers and sent every enforcer in Abaddon out to either help with the storm or gather the others. Soon almost one million enforcers would be adding their strength to the job and taking as much of the risk as possible from the locals.

“Any idea how this idiocy came to pass?” I asked casually, looking closely at the storm for the first time.

“The dumbnugget that planned the shower didn’t check on the Everfree first, fool put the clouds right in the path of one doozy of a front coming out of the forest. You can see what happened when they collided,” Six scoffed, “He won’t be a weatherpony anymore, Rainbow Dash made sure of that. She was a sight to see before it hit, bitching up a storm bigger than this over how stupid the placement was and how it would lead to a clusterfuck.”

“So you were in town all day then? Tell me, was it for work, pleasure, or just to see your dear old dad?” I ribbed, getting a scowl in return but no answer. Work then, it was the only thing she’d hide, “So you have a job in town? Good for you, Ponyville always was my favorite town for a reason. Guess I’m not the only one who sees it.”

“I didn’t say I worked here,” Six snapped.

“You did by not answering, a vacation to such a peaceful place is nothing to hide. But knowing that you work here and live in Canterlot narrows your possible identities down to eight mares, which is something you’d hide,” I teased. I really didn’t care who she was now, it didn’t matter in the slightest. She was independent and living well, that was what mattered. But I also wasn’t the one doing the teasing, she wanted me to waste time chasing her down, she wanted to brag about how well she’d done for herself without me. Chipping at that prospect and getting closer to the truth was exactly why she’d come to me herself instead of getting a pegasus to do it.

“Fine, you want to know so badly? Take it or kill me, I don’t care,” Six spat as she shot one hand out in front of her, offering the information freely. I hadn’t expected that, it made me reconsider all of my preconceptions about her motivations. Perhaps I had been unnecessarily pushy towards her, I’d need to show that it hadn’t been my intent. Fortunately she had provided the perfect opportunity, though I doubted it was an accident.

“Abaddon, under no circumstances are you to link with Alpha Six. Her life is her own and none of our business,” I instructed as I gently pushed Six’s hand back towards her without taking any samples or memories from her, “If I were to seek your identity, it would be out of idle curiosity. I’m honestly proud of the way you’ve lived, keep up the good work.”

Six stiffened at the praise, even crying real tears when she got the evidence she’d craved for all these years. I blinked, it had taken me a lot longer to learn how to do that. If Six saw my instant of mild jealousy, she didn’t acknowledge it before she lurched forward into a long overdue hug.

The moment was both made more poetic and ruined at the same time, as the sun finally showed itself and we were able to make out the voices of the townsponies. In particular one mare screaming about the end of the world or some such nonsense.

“THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS A TURTLE! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL! THE RAIN IS ETERNAL!” the mare screeched repeatedly.

“Pinky’s gonna Pinkie,” we commented in unison. I was in no hurry as one of the enforcers would already have the additional task of summoning Twilight, so I gestured for Six to have a seat on the edge while we waited so we could talk more casually.

“How are the bugs in Canterlot? Did the extra enforcers help?” I asked as Six removed her boots and tossed them over the side, she no longer needed them. My eyes caught the craftsponyship before they dropped out of view, only one mare could stitch like that and Six was no friend of the rogues. More information filed away and likely never called upon.

“Some, but they’re mostly irritating the local guards. They keep leaving the bodies and personal effects for them to clean up. I get it, it’s so there’s a record of all the missing ponies, but the guards don’t understand and are getting increasingly agitated,” Six sighed.

“They’re keeping logs though right?” I pressed, wondering if I was going to have to confront Armor over this.

“Yeah, but they’re not happy about it. I can see why though, I was gutting between two and ten a day but your lot are slaughtering them in the hundreds. It’s just too much and they’re collecting evidence around the clock. Gods above, even Vinyl got into a fight with one the day before yesterday!” Six griped, seeming particularly agitated about that part. 

“There’s a swear I haven’t heard in a while. Gods above, that saying fell out of favor before Ponyville popped up for the third time,” I commented.

“I happen to like it, it isn’t often I get to use it around anyone that’ll understand. Adds a little more emphasis, wouldn’t you agree?” Six replied, smiling at my attention.

“Yeah, I can see that. I’ll have the enforcers do as much of the work as possible, help cut down on the horsepower requirements. But I’d like to talk more about Vinyl if you don’t mind, is she that marefriend of yours?” I asked, knowing I was prying a little but Six didn’t seem to mind.

“Vinyl Scratch? You think Vinyl Scratch is my marefriend? Don’t be ridiculous, you’d have to pry her off of Octavia to even think about dating her. Heh, it was a funny mental image though. No really though, Vinyl and Octavia are just good people that have helped me out a few times so I look out for them when I can,” Six chuckled.

“Is it safe to assume you are responsible for Vinyl's little quirk?" I guessed.

“Vinyl’s haphephobia is kinda my fault,” Six confessed, “It’s something I’m constantly apologizing for whenever we get to hang out. They were some of the first people I showed myself to, gave her a real fright once Tavi started picking my brain about how I worked.” 

“And now she’s terrified that anyone that touches her could eat her alive,” I reasoned, nodding along with the logic.

“Yeah, probably best I didn’t mention the eyes thing. She’s insecure about those as well,” Six continued, on a roll now that I’d gotten her talking about her friends. 

“You bypassed my restrictions then?” I confirmed, getting twelve different eye colors from my daughter in response. 

They finally settled on the shade of blue I liked to use once upon an age before she continued, “And don’t get me started on the couple months where I crashed on their couch, I may not sleep much but holy cow they never stop with the damn bass and strings. It was like a fucked up concert at all hours of the night, they’re obsessed with music.”

“I think you’re getting into personal territory there kiddo,” I warned.

“That’s not doublespeak, I’m talking about those turntables and that cello. They literally sit up all night and write songs, then play them until they get them just right. Half the time, I catch a wadded up piece of paper to the face at the end of it because it wasn’t something enough and they forgot I was there,” Six replied, openly laughing now.

“So you need sleep then?” I tested, wondering if this was an impostor. I’d have a sample to double check when she left, but a little test didn’t hurt either.

“Nah, it’s a luxury. Helps me sort out stuff, you know? There’s been a lot weighing on me for a really long time and it’s the only time I’m not afraid. Except for now, obviously,” Six confessed, clearing my doubts. I sighed and leaned against the prototype enforcer, feeling an emotion I knew far too well. I should have sought her out and made this right as soon as I heard she was alive, I’d regret that lapse in judgement for the rest of my days.

“I’m sorry...for so many things. I was a cold hearted bastard when you were young, then I just let you be forgotten by the world instead of holding out on the hope that you were still alive like a normal parent would. Now I’ve let you live in fear of me instead of making sure you were okay. I’d understand if you wanted to keep this as business, my resources are yours to defend your friends with as you see fit,” I apologized.

“You weren’t the best, never really were,” Six agreed, sending a lance into my proverbial heart, “You weren’t there for me any any point in my life, you were this looming monster I was constantly paranoid about. Now that I can’t hide anymore, I’m just happy that I don’t have to worry. See me in a week when this elation wears off and I’ll give you my real opinions.”

“That stung a little,” I joked as I made a show of rubbing my shoulder as though injured, “But you have a point, and I’ll always be sorry about that. You deserved better and I wish I could’ve seen it at the time. I wouldn’t forgive me, but I’d still like to start over if you’d let me.”

“Nah, I think I’m immature enough to let you flounder while you try to salvage this relationship. Begging doth not become thee father mine,” Six teased.

“Jay, the drugs didn’t last,” Luna complained as she joined us on the deck, looking particularly queasy. She had misjudged which bioform I was and sat next to Six, though the Alpha just smiled and placed a hand on Luna’s neck to help ease her stomach, “Thanks….Six? I never expected you to be here, has something awful happened?”

“Yeah, something truly dreadful. Jekyll actually apologized,” Six replied with a smirk.

“So that’s it then, you’re all good?” Luna asked, sounding like she was disappointed with the world.

“Absolutely not,” Six and I responded as one.

“There is way too much for me to unpack in one conversation and I might never fully recover from all the fear I’ve lived with,” Six continued.

“But I think I’ve made it perfectly clear that I am not an enemy, at least for the moment,” I added, getting a surprisingly hard punch to my shoulder in return, “Oh come on, you can do better than that.”

“Jay, I’m fairly certain that she was just playing. You don’t have to start a proper brawl,” Luna cautioned.

“I don’t see why a little boxing would hurt, it takes more than some bludgeoning for us to feel any pain,” I countered, “Besides, I think I should see if my prodigal daughter has kept up with her training while she was away.”

“Better than you old man, bring it,” Six challenged as she pulled a backflip out of her seated position and landed in a ready made combat stance.

“Not here, a duel like this needs spectators,” I suggested, making Six grin as she nodded.

“The market, I’ll call some favors and have it cleared,” Six replied as her body broke apart and reformed into a nondescript beige pegasus. The features looked sloppy, signaling that this wasn’t a form she had taken from a real pony. 

“Name drop me all you like, it should help a little. Be honest as well, it’ll gather a larger crowd,” I advised, sending Six on her way.

“Now that she’s gone, what are we going to do about this?” Luna asked, sounding more tired than concerned. All it took was a glance to see that her fur had turned black again.

“Your eyes are normal this time, so you aren’t angry about anything. I’d blame Tartarus and say that you got a little crispy,” I joked.

“I’m being serious,” Luna deadpanned.

“Just change back, you’re doing it to yourself anyway,” I replied more seriously, causing Luna to start.

“It’s not that-” Luna began before a pop of teleportation interrupted her.

“Sorry I’m late, some of the books got wet and I needed to dry them before they were ruined forever,” Twilight apologized before even noticing that we were arguing. 

“You can identify unconscious spells right? Like the one that’s doing that?” I asked, pointing at Luna. Twilight followed my finger towards Luna and froze when she saw the larger mare.

“It’s purely cosmetic and exclusively annoying,” Luna attempted before Twilight had a chance to panic.

“Oh thank goodness, that makes it so much easier. Are we thinking illusion or transmutation? Or maybe colormorgification?” Twilight proposed curiously as she wandered a lap around Luna.

“You made that last one up just now,” Luna stated flatly.

“Well, I need to have a name ready in case it’s a spell never seen before. It’s only prudent to be prepared for anything,” Twilight replied easily, forcing me to stifle a laugh, “Have you been experimenting with self transmutation lately? That’s probably the best place to start.”

“Yes, but not in the physical world. I limit it to my dreams where it is safe, otherwise there would be little chance of survival,” Luna answered.

“I see… Would I be correct in assuming you believe this to be the spellset Nightmare Moon used to alter Luna’s appearance the first time? My guess is the exact same thing. Nightmare Moon’s spells, or at least the memories of them, are bleeding through and being activated by accident. There is definitely a magical signature consistent with self transmutation, so the answer seems to be gaining control over it to stop it from activating whenever it feels like it,” Twilight rambled, fully engrossed in her study of Luna’s pallet change.

“That is so much easier said than done, I don’t even remember those….days…” Luna trailed off as her eyes unfocused.

“What’s going on?” Twilight asked, looking at me.

“Her bioforms have detected a problem they can solve, so they’re solving it. Luna is being forced to relive her early days as Nightmare Moon, specifically when she crafted that iconic look. Abaddon, send a Mike to let Six know I’ll be a little late and a Gamma to keep the crowd entertained until Luna’s settled,” I instructed as I finally got up and walked over to my comatose wife, “Thanks for the help Twilight, I owe you one. Also you should get to the market, my long lost kid and I are going to fight in a bit.”

“Do you do anything other than mess with Luna’s mental state and kill things?” Twilight sighed as she pinched her nose with her fetlock in agitation.

“Yes, I also keep demons from murdering you and fuck with Chelly for being a bitch,” I replied sarcastically as I lifted Luna to carry her somewhere more familiar and comfortable, “And I’m not killing anyone today, it’s just for fun.”

“Anyone else,” Luna corrected with a groan as she shuffled around to find a more comfortable position and returned to her normal coloration with a dark flash.

“I see you figured it out,” I commented, looking down to see Luna smile before she switched back. This time she was completely in the guise of Nightmare Moon, complete with the eyes and teeth.

“She mastered this change, and now I know how she did it,” Nightmare replied before my wife returned, “It’s still unnerving to wear her skin, but controlling it does lessen the fear a little. Like I’m taking that part of myself back from her.”

“I’m happy to hear it and glad you aren’t torn up by the memory,” I responded, adding the implied question with my tone of voice.

“Not much to get messed up about, she just sat in a room with a stack of paper and did the math. I never thought I’d get bored by one of those memories,” Luna complained.

“Another mystery solved, great work gang. Now who wants to see me kick Six’s lazy ass?” I asked more enthusiastically, hoping a little sport would liven everyone’s damp spirits.

“Count me out,” Twilight replied instantly.

“I’m pretty sure your brother will be there, he turns up at all of my public sparring matches to jeer at me. Which means Caddy will be there as well,” I predicted.

“How often do you fight in your own skin?” Luna asked, noting that I hadn’t done so in her presence.

“I haven’t since you came back, but before then I’d go pick a fight with some Wardens whenever I got pissy about something or wanted a cult in jail instead of on the right path. It’s a crime to call me a god by the way, fifteen years,” I explained, causing Luna’s jaw to drop.

“That’s horrible,” Twilight insisted.

“That was my idea, Chelly just happened to agree,” I pointed out.

“Damage control and added power over them,” Luna reasoned, “I can see the heartless utility of that law.”

“But-” Twilight protested.

“It leaves a bad taste in my mouth when ponies kill each other in my name,” I countered before she could finish the thought, effectively cutting off any further arguments. It was hard to defend a murderer at the best of times, for a false religion was even harder.

“Jerk,” Twilight griped.

“So will you be attending?” I asked again.

“Yes,” Twilight relented begrudgingly.

“Great, we’ll meet you down there,” I bid, getting an extended tongue in my direction before Twilight teleported away, “So Lu, are you confident enough to handle being in public for a bit?”

“Easily. I’ll spend some time with Cat afterwards just to help clear my head, but I’m fine,” Luna replied, looking as comfortable with the idea as her words suggested.

“Raceyouthere!” I cried before throwing myself off the deck. I found Luna waiting for me in the market when I arrived less than a second later, somehow beating me despite the fact that I’d sprinted the entire way.

“You keep telling me to remember that I can teleport,” Luna teased before walking off to find a seat.

I spotted a few ponies looking at me and commented that, “I did say that a few times.”

I felt Shining Armor’s glare before I saw him, so intense was his hatred for me that he relished any opportunity to see the possibility of me enduring a modicum of pain. As expected, his grumpy attitude was balanced out by the alicorn to his left. Cadence was waving at me and smiling happily, shouting something about meeting up for tea after the fight.

Six stood ready, her focus on me instead of the crowd. Good for her, that was exactly where her attention needed to be. All fell silent when I took my place opposite Six and leaned back drunkenly.

“Misery Hoof? Don’t you think that’s a little basic?” Six mocked as she guaged her first attack.

“Can you still double-counter?” I shot back as I swayed out of the way and brought my arm down on her back, sending her sprawling. The blow caused several in the audience to gasp in surprise at how vicious I had been with the blow, hitting Six so hard that she’d momentarily folded around my arm from the force. I didn’t have to hold back, hits like this wouldn’t hurt her but they would outright kill anything else.

“Apparently not,” Six replied as she picked herself up, “How are we scoring?”

“Fatal blows, most in thirty minutes,” I replied.

“Sounds good,” Six agreed with a grin before launching at me once more. She slipped around my guard with expert skill and tagged me in the neck hard enough for my entire head to fall back as the flesh tore.

“Good shot,” I complimented as I switched to a different style.

Six attempted a variant of the same attack and got a faceful of dirt for her efforts, along with a broken neck when I stomped her further into the ground. She recovered quickly and managed to score another good hit after a solid minute of trading ineffective counters with me. I switched styles every time she got a clean shot in, forcing her to adapt to each one.

At the twenty-nine minute mark, we were still tied and I was left with a decision to make. I could throw the fight and let her win or stop testing her and actually fight, each had their own drawbacks and held the potential for damaging the fragile relationship I’d built with the bioform.

When a bell rang to signal the end of the fight, neither of us had made a move to claim the title.

“One last point, winner take all?” I offered, making the offer as clear as I dared in front of the spectators. I saw the understanding in Six’s eyes, she knew I’d taken it easy to test her skill. What I now offered was the chance to test herself against my full might and weight of experience. I would not be playing any longer if she agreed.

“Yeah, winner take-” Six began before my fist interrupted her and sent her careening down the street. She was slow to pick herself up but did accept my hand once I finished walking over to where she’d landed.

Apparently that hadn’t been fatal enough for her to call the match and used my kindness to try to slip in a punch of her own. I pulled myself closer to her and caused the punch to glance off my back before twisting her around and whipping her into the ground by the hand she had willingly given me. 

Without so much as a word of warning, I dropped my knee into her back to pin her and used my free hand to tear her head from her shoulders. I put it back right away, but there was nothing aside from bioforms like us that could survive decapitation.

“You good?” I asked as I helped Six up for the second time.

“Yeah, just surprised at how little time that took,” Six confessed as she regained her footing and we started walking back to the crowd.

“Really? I’ve got a lot more experience to pull from than you do. That surprise attack was unexpected though, good one,” I replied casually.

“It was cheap and we both know it, I was done from that hit. I just wanted to get one last hit in for the pyrrhic victory,” Six admitted.

“And I’d have let you have it, but your swing was blind and went wide. A Hail Mary only works if it connects. Stick to what you can see in the future, a shot to my knee would have grounded me and left me open for a beatdown,” I advised.

“I’ll do that next time we spar,” Six laughed as we re-entered the market, at which point Six dropped to one knee to signal her defeat, though I promptly guided her back to her feet and lifted her arm in victory.

“It was never about the score, it was to see if you were still able to hold your own. You clearly are, so I concede,” I declared just loud enough for everyone to hear before taking a step backwards to declare her the winner. I vanished into the crowd before she could turn to confront me, but all she’d see was a bunch of cheering ponies by then.

I watched Six freeze as she was confronted with a crowd’s approval for what was probably the first time in her life, but she collected herself after a moment and smiled warmly. From my place in the milling masses, I hoped I hadn’t come on too strong and disillusioned her. She was either taking it exactly as I’d hoped or she was humoring me for another reason, either way was fine with me for the moment. She seemed happy and that was enough for now.

I maintained my spot until some of the locals walked out to talk with Six more personally before I slipped even further into the audience to seek out another that I wished to speak to.

There was only one way to talk to Cadence during these kinds of events, Shining Armor needed to be otherwise indisposed. I lacked an aid or his mother this time, so I settled for the tried and true blow to the back of his head. Once he was unconscious and hidden under the makeshift stands, I stole his seat and turned to my friend.

“Hey Caddy, how’s life been?” I asked, getting a slightly irritated and very amused look in response.

“Eh, was better before some plothole stole my coltfriend’s seat,” She replied with false impetuousness.

“Really? What kind of jerk would do something like that?” I asked, continuing the act.

“The kind that rolls into Canterlot a bunch of times and never once stops by to say hello,” Cadence responded, though she was having trouble keeping a straight face by now.

“No kidding? Well I’ll just have to show that guy what for, where’s he live?” I demanded, also struggling to keep the humor out of my voice.

“Right over there,” Cadence answered, pointing at Abaddon.

“Oh hey, that’s my house!” I declared once I’d dramatically followed her directions. When I turned back, her hoof met the side of my face in a hard slap. I looked ready to cry as I touched the spot, but dropped it entirely and joined her mirth once she failed to hold her laughter back and let the tension break.

“Hey Uncle Jay,” Caddy greeted properly as she hugged me. Her grip on my neck carried her off the seat when I shifted back to my normal form to properly return the hug.

“Hey Caddy,” I repeated.

“Rumor has it that you’ve been a king this whole time,” Caddy noted, having never been told this before and seeming eager to know the truth.

“It’s a long story from a long time ago, but the short version is yes,” I allowed, getting a playful punch to my chest for withholding something that dramatic.

“Geez Jay, any other world shattering revelations you want to drop on me?” Caddy laughed. Just to mess with her, I decided to part with another secret. The world at large wasn’t ready for this one, so I sent a tendril into her ear to tell her privately. Caddy knew what I was doing and didn’t flinch, though everyone looking at us did.

“I married Luna months ago, I’m your king too,” I stated before withdrawing the tendril. Caddy choked loudly and fell over, something I found quite amusing.


Perspective Change: Chrysalis
Alias: Unknown
Location: Unknown


The pink one was strong and had ties to Him, the hive would never survive taking her if we failed in our immediate goal. That white one though, he was weak enough to be controlled through magic alone. The last test had failed, proving only that ingesting the cure did nothing. The answer would be to use it as the other prey had used it, but we would also need more drones to overwhelm the monsters.

So close to my enemy and yet so far from killing him, just being here myself was a risk. At least I had a direction to move in and my next step in mind, my drones would abduct one of the visitors from Canterlot for draining and harvesting. Perhaps I could snag another while I was here, maybe even leave him alive to avoid suspicion.

“Hey Rainbow, aren’t you usually napping about this time of day?” a yellow male asked.

“You know how it is Mr. Cake, I couldn’t miss anything as awesome as this,” I lied. The blue mare I was impersonating had been a lucky find, fast asleep and well hidden by her own doing. I’d be long gone before she woke up. Then again, the yellow one was a known breeder and might serve the hive with just a little prompting, “But now it’s getting boring, want to sneak off for some new entertainment?”

Something was wrong. I was not accustomed to ponies turning me down, but he was laughing like I’d made a joke. I’d given my hips a little shake and everything, there was no way for him to have missed my intention.

“You sure are a hoot Rainbow,” he chuckled before continuing on his way. I kept my irritation off my face and simply tried again. And again. And again. Eventually I happened across one male from Canterlot who looked ready to agree before an orange female stepped up.

“Sorry partner, ole Rainbow here is just foolin’. She swings the other way if ya get my meanin’,” the orange one warned, eliciting another laugh and some praise for my ‘joke’ before the male wandered off with the rest. I felt a powerful need to hit someone, not one report on these blasted ponies had mentioned homosexuals at all. By my own cursed luck, I had picked one to blend in as.

I came up with an excuse that might get the orange female off my trail, but something hit me across the back of my head before I could utter a single word. The strike didn’t knock me out, as had clearly been the intention, but I did get well acquainted with the dirt of the market square. I looked up at my attacker and prepared to defend myself, but froze when I saw a twisted nightmare rising out of the ground itself. A scream of terror escaped my throat before I could even consider processing what was happening, though a harder hit to the same spot as before silenced my cry. My last thought as everything went dark was of how Equis itself had been bent to His will.

When I came to, the first emotions I felt were that of confusion. I had been discovered and incapacitated, why hadn’t I been killed as well?

“Finally awake I see,” He commented. That explained it, he wanted me alive to gloat over His victory. I spat at Him in defiance, the changeling race would never submit, “So hostile, maybe I’m in a generous mood and want to make you an offer.”

I took stock of my situation before responding. I was in heavy chains and couldn’t move, there was something on my horn to disable my magic, and another chain was wrapped around my barrel to keep my wings pinned to my back. We were also not alone, two female alicorns stood with Him and a number of other horrors waited behind all three.

“Speak then,” I allowed, desperate to maintain some control.

“You are in Tartarus with no way out and bound in chains that cannot be broken, only I can open the door out of here or authorize the removing of those chains. I’m prepared to do both if you accept the terms,” He offered. Lies, I knew a ploy when I saw one.

“My surrender then? Is that what you want?” I growled, more for appearances. There was no way I’d accept anything He offered.

“Exactly. You are to initiate no further hostilities or abduct anyone of any race for the rest of your life, in return I will grant you the Badlands and the right to enter pony society in disguises of your own invention. I believe this will allow you to integrate peacefully and form a mutually beneficial relationship with the ponies,” He proposed. Optics? He allowed me to live for the optics? I could never agree to this, my hive would starve to death before we were able to gather enough love. But refusing to give in would allow Him to persecute me and my entire hive with impunity.

“I choose the fast death over starvation,” I spat, idly curious as to how he would respond.

“Las Pegasus, Dice, Manehattan, Appleloosa, Baltimare,” He listed with a casual tone I had not anticipated.

“What of these cities?” I demanded, not understanding how that was intended to manipulate me.

“They’re all the cities where prostitution is legal,” He replied as though it was the most simple thing in the world. The thought made me hiss in rage and struggle to free myself so I could show this beast what I thought of His proposal. We were not playthings for the ponies, we were destined to dominate this land.

“NEVER, WE SHALL NOT DEBASE OURSELVES FOR YOU!”  I shouted, showing my anger as well as I could under the circumstances.

“You were caught while you were soliciting stallions for sex,” the blue alicorn deadpanned.

“She’s just proud, it’s different when you’re the one looking for it,” the pink one from before commented.

“That’s your choice to make: accept what love you can get during an interim period while you integrate peacefully, die from starvation, or die at the end of my claws,” He stated plainly, “Take all the time you need to decide, I’ll be ignoring you until you make your choice.”

They left me there, chained to the floor of some dark room in the underworld while they returned to their lives. My only company became the horrors that had stood behind the party, though they refused to speak when I attempted to coax them into releasing me.

It became clear that they had truly left after an hour of total silence, making the waiting game entirely on my end. He would leave me here to die if I never begged for mercy, but I could never imagine doing so. How could I call myself a queen if I gave in under this little pressure? I was a changeling, and no prison had ever held a changeling before. 

If only I could figure out how to slip out of chains that were running through my leg holes.


Perspective: Jekyll
Location: Abaddon, Near Ponyville


“So that was Tartarus,” Caddy noted once we were through the portal and aboard Abaddon. She seemed slightly disappointed.

“You have to leave the palace if you want to see the torment and carnage,” I stated simply.

“Ah, that makes sense,” Caddy replied with a nod of understanding before looking critically at Luna.

“Um, have I offended you?” Luna asked, appearing slightly uncomfortable.

“You’re damn right you have, you thieving bitch. I’ve known this guy for fifteen years and he never once gave any indication of being interested in anyone, then you pop up out of nowhere and take him for yourself? I want to know your angle,” Caddy demanded, nearly making me laugh at how hostile she’d gotten in so little time.

“I don’t have one, we were drunk. Neither of us knew until the next day, we didn’t even remember it,” Luna explained defensively.

“Jay?” Caddy requested.

“True story,” I confirmed, causing Caddy to drop her attitude almost instantly. Now she just looked between us with a more somber expression.

“In that case I’m sorry for getting so upset, it must be hard to live with Jay,” Caddy offered sympathetically.

“The lack of love thing? We’re working on that,” Luna replied with a soft smile.

“Eh-hem!” Six called, getting our attention on the enraged bioform, “Finally, was this entire day designed to lure that thing into a trap?”

“No,” I answered simply.

“You expect me to believe that you just got lucky?” Six demanded.

“Believe what you want, Jeff is always watching the town. Having the match in town was so any enemy spies would see you as a new enforcer variant and get scared, that’s all I had for an ulterior motive. Everything aside from where the fight took place was completely natural,” I replied.

“Luna? Do you believe that?” Six asked, sounding disappointed. 

“I don’t have to believe, I know it’s true. Chrysalis has been a shadow from the very beginning, no one knew where she was or where she’d be at any point since she made herself known in the Badlands,” Luna stated plainly.

“Oh, well at least tell me next time before you use me like that?” Six retorted, clinging to what little she could be mad about. 

“Another mistake to atone for, I’ll keep you informed in the future,” I agreed, getting a derisive scoff before Six launched herself into the air.

“Anyhow, what did you mean by that? How are you getting Jay to feel anything? Family relations are about all he can do, and you don’t seem like the type to accept a sister role,” Caddy rambled, channeling her inner Twilight now that her favorite subject had come up and there were no distractions.

“First we figured out what he didn’t have and why, then we simply worked around it. His species doesn’t find mates, so intimacy was completely off the table. But Cat had an idea about using romance to fill the void and it seems to be working rather well,” Luna explained.

“A cat told you that?” Caddy asked in confusion

“Catrix, she’s a demon,” Luna corrected.

“Heard my name,” Cat stated as she walked out onto the deck and spotted Caddy, “By Oblivion, it’s a little alicorn. You’re so cute!”

Caddy was dumbstruck by the outburst and didn’t have time to get away before Cat had her in her arms. On the flipside, Caddy was now eye-level with us as she was cradled like an infant.

“Caddy, Catrix. Catrix, Caddy,” I introduced pointlessly.

“Um, hi?” Caddy offered weakly as she struggled to keep up with what was happening.

“Caddy? You’re Cadence? The Cadence? Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?” Cat confirmed.

“That’s me. I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of you before,” Caddy apologized.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m just glad to finally meet you after hearing so much,” Cat gushed.

“Right… So Luna said that you had the idea of how to help them?” Caddy attempted.

“Which time? Jay keeps me around as a therapist and emotional advisor, since I almost never get to do my real job,” Cat asked.

“With the romantic thing? Also what’s your real job then if Jay keeps you around as a therapist?” Caddy asked. That had been the wrong question to ask.

Cat immediately launched into what she believed Cadence had meant by that and assumed the question’s existence gave her permission to air our dirty laundry. Luna’s embarrassed blush reached all the way to her chest as she stood frozen in place through sheer horror. I was desperately trying to shut Cat up without killing her or hurting Caddy, but she simply stepped aside as she clearly thought I was going to Luna’s side.

When Cat concluded her tale, Cadence just looked at us sympathetically before clarifying, “I meant the intimate versus romantic love bit.”

“Oh,” Catrix replied before setting Caddy down as gently as possible, taking a step back, and breaking her own neck to escape the coming shitstorm. Cadence stared at the spot while Catrix burned away, then looked to me in total shock.

“She does that occasionally, demons don’t really die. She’ll regenerate in Tartarus and come back once she’s forgotten about this,” I explained before she could pose her obvious question, “I’m going to request that you do the same. Cat’s reason for knowing what she does comes from her past and the common use for her species.”

“She’s a hooker, right?” Caddy guessed, sounding disgusted.

“When I met her in the Crystal Kingdom she was, now she’s a concubine. At least that’s her title, it gives her some perks in Tartarus,” I corrected.

“Still disgraceful, that kind of trade was right to be banned,” Caddy spat with an angry look at the rapidly vanishing scorch mark Cat had left.

“I’ve spent plenty of time in Tartarus, one of the first things I learned was to not judge any demons with pony morality. Succubi like Cat are by far the tamest of the bunch and least dangerous. Cat in particular has reigned in her natural attitude to be more like us, though she still struggles from time to time with the concept of social taboos,” Luna offered, recovering quickly now that it seemed like Caddy was willing to forget everything Cat had said.

“Luna, relationships are very much my area of expertise. I love nothing more than to watch them grow into beautiful things. Being… close to one another is part of that, a part I see taken advantage off far too often. Seeing it given away freely or for something as petty as money is anathema to everything I believe in, it’s just wrong,” Caddy insisted.

“I tend to agree, but would you judge a dog the same way?” Luna countered.

“They can’t form relationships, it isn’t a fair comp-”

“It is a fair comparison, Catrix and her kind are incapable of forming relationships. They lack the ability to do anything more than study it as a curiosity found in ponies and the other races,” Luna continued, changing Caddy’s entire outlook on the demons with one statement. She pitied them now, which was arguably worse.

To make matters worse, Cat had just walked through the portal.

“I’m just gonna guess that I did a stupid,” Cat commented when she saw me, though this also got Caddy’s attention and caused her to turn towards Cat and flare her wings in surprise, “By Oblivion, it’s a little alicorn. You’re so cute!”

“Catrix? You’re back already?” Caddy asked, halting Cat before she could scoop up Cadence again.

“I was here before. I was talking to you before I died,” Cat reasoned, “I’m sorry for whatever I did to you.”

“You didn’t do anything to me, you embarrassed Luna and then killed yourself,” Caddy corrected.

“Oh, sorry Luna,” Cat apologized much more casually.

“I’ll take it out of your hide later,” Luna promised darkly, effectively using the common verbiage of Tartarus to inform Catrix that she had messed up much worse than that apology could make up for.

“So Cat, could I try something with you?” Caddy requested, causing me to pinch my nose in preemptive embarrassment. Both for how I knew Cat would interpret that statement and for what Cadence was going to try.

“I, uh, I have a thing against people messing with my head,” Cat protested as she stepped back, surprising me.

“I promise not to change anything, it’s just a theory I have,” Caddy placated as her horn started to glow.

“I still don’t-” Cat began before the spell hit her and she went slack, her jaw falling open mid-sentence.

“Cadence, that is not a cursory look. Casting a deeply rooted love spell could ruin her mind,” Luna warned.

“That’s to shut her up while I dig around,” Caddy responded, falling silent while the rest of us waited impotently to see what she was doing. After nearly three minutes of waiting, Cadence finally shouted that she had ‘found it’ and fired off a second spell.

“Cadence, stop that this instant before you harm my friend,” Luna demanded with a loud stomp of her hoof.

“Sure, I just finished anyway,” Caddy allowed as her horn dimmed and Cat’s faculties returned.

“-like the idea. Oblivion take you, what did you do to me?” Cat demanded angrily, he claws extending as she rounded on Cadence. All three paused to see if I intended to intervene.

“You dug your own graves, I’ll step in before anyone dies,” I allowed.

“Shit,” Caddy commented before she was backhanded across the deck. Luna halted a follow up attack with some telekinesis before Cat had the chance to consider murdering Cadence.

“I saw her spellwork, reversing it should be easy,” Luna offered, calming Catrix enough for her to at least put her claws away. With the risk of serious harm mitigated, Luna released the demon and walked over to stand next to me while they discussed their differences in a most civilized manner.

“Why is everyone always trying to fix us?” Luna asked curiously as Cat flew past us and nearly tumbled off the deck.

“I honestly have no idea, I’m fairly sure that we function much better than most people,” I replied as Cat charged back to reengage.

“In most regards I’m inclined to agree,” Luna responded, ducking her head to dodge a certain alicorn.

The fight only lasted a couple more minutes before both parties gave up and settled for sitting back to back and occasionally throwing an elbow while they actually used their words, though I had stopped paying attention to them as a new situation had seized my attention. There were undisguised changelings in Ponyville.

“SHE’S NOT THERE! I HAVE YOUR WORTHLESS QUEEN!” I shouted, startling my guest and resident while also sending the bugs into a full retreat. As expected, they were spineless without a hand guiding their efforts. That or they were preparing an assault on the town, oh how I hoped they were planning an assault on the town.

“Do you think they’re dumb enough to attack?” Luna asked as she saw the retreating insects and reached the same conclusions.

“LET US HOPE THAT THEY ARE, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE TOO MUCH TARGET PRACTICE,” Abaddon rumbled, his voice more than loud enough for them to hear the challenge.

“More changelings?” Caddy guessed as she limped over with Cat, each using the other for stability.

“A scouting party, nothing to worry about,” I declared, “Luna, would you mind cleaning Caddy up before her bodyguard tries to fight me again?”

A hoof struck my back as I finished speaking, along with an overly confident, “Too late for that, monster.”

“Shining?” Caddy protested in surprise.

“Armor,” I warned as I turned to face the unicorn.

“Captain,” Luna greeted passively, sounding almost bored.

Catrix didn’t say anything, instead whistling for his attention as she lifted her shirt and froze his mind long enough for me to casually punch him in the side of his head to knock him back out.

“Woo, teamwork,” Cat cheered lamely as she fixed her clothing, “I hurt and I’m tired, I’ll catch up with you all tomorrow.”

“I really wish he’d drop that, it’s the only thing I don’t like about him,” Caddy complained as she hefted her coltfriend onto her back.

“One thing before you go,” I requested as I sent a command to Abaddon. The leviathan chuckled as he retrieved the item I had sent for, depositing the frozen waffle into my waiting hand.

Cadence just stared at it as I placed the breakfast food into his slack mouth.

“How in Tartarus do you know about that?” she demanded.

“Twilight Sparkle runs the library in town,” I replied.

“She is also my student now, so we see her somewhat regularly,” Luna added.

“Why wasn’t I told? I thought she was avoiding me or something,” Caddy asked, sounding hurt.

“Chelly’s a bitch,” I answered with a shrug.

“Whatever, I’ll just have to stop by more often now to catch up with her,” Caddy responded.

“I’ll be here as well, if you want to chat,” I offered.

“Sure, I’ll just leave Shining with Twilight as his fiance-sitter,” Cadence joked before vanishing with a pop.

“Can I-” I began.

“No,” Luna replied instantly.

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” I pointed out.

“You’re agitated and tired of his shit, to the point that even Cat knows how much he annoys you and seeks to end the confrontation quickly. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that you’re imagining stuffing a bioform in his head to condition him into liking you,” Luna concluded.

“I have never done that, it’s terribly uninspired. Mind control is lame, I’d rather have him shut down as soon he touched me. Go for a punch, suddenly fast asleep,” I corrected.

“The answer is still no,” Luna affirmed.

“Damnit,” I griped, not really meaning it.

“That bug thing is gone,” Harry called from the other side of the portal.

“Double damnit!” I repeated more seriously.
> Chapter 37: The End Of The Beginning
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’ve got three seconds to explain that sentence before I beat you to death with your own severed head,” I warned as my anger rose. Blocked magic, abysannite chains across her back and through her leg holes, and two guards. What colossal fuckup had given the bug any chance to escape?

“The guards we posted are dead and confused, as for the insect… I think you’d better see for yourself,” Harry responded, managing to fit all of that into two point nine six seconds. He actually spent half of it on that dramatic pause. I grumbled internally about how literally he took everything and moved to follow him through the portal, though I was forced to pause for a moment when I noticed Luna following as well.

“What?” Luna asked when she saw my look.

“Why do you look more angry than I feel?” I asked seriously, causing Luna to stop as well and drawing a sigh out of Harry.

“That thing worries me. Not for myself, but for the rest of the world. She’s got that look like she’s planning a thousand schemes at once and none of them are good,” Luna confessed.

“Boss, we could save a lot of time if you’d authorize me to mobilize the palace guard and the rippers at large,” Harry offered, looking more than a little impatient.

“Denied, the guards will remain at their posts in case she’s still in the palace. Toll the bells, put out a notice to all of them. Greater status awaits whoever catches that bug, dead or alive, to include all the benefits and lands that come with it. Incubi can keep her as well if they want, I’ll endorse their continued existence,” I countered, making Harry’s eyes widen.

“Moon and stars, is that really appropriate? You’d condemn Chrysalis to that life? I’d approve of killing her but leaving her alive as an incubus’s slave just seems too far, it’s downright mean,” Luna queried, sharing Harry’s look of surprise.

“I tend to agree, Boss, that’s a bit much for one bug,” Harry added.

“It’s not about any of that, she spat in my face after I offered her an out. I cannot allow her to go unpunished if I want to avoid a full scale revolt, she has to be found and eliminated. As such, incentives need to be offered,” I explained silencing both of them as they thought it over.

“I’ll make it so,” Harry responded quietly before hustling out of sight.

“I’ll make sure she can’t escape through our portal,” Luna offered as she moved to guard the tear in reality.

“Then that leaves me to inspect her prison for clues and start tracking her,” I replied, getting a nod of understanding and agreement from Luna before I turned and strode towards where the bug had been kept.

I was quietly glad that I had gotten my armor before meeting with Chrysalis, it would give my instructions more weight when I dealt with the rabble. The protection against her magic was just cheating in this place.

I was the one in stunned silence when I threw the cell door open and saw what lay inside. Two scorch marks revealed where the guards had been killed, but it was the chains that caught my attention more than anything. They were exactly where I’d left them, still running through the leg holes of a changeling queen and everything. Most of a changeling queen anyway.

The legs were still there, the head and magic dampener were still there, even the wings remained exactly as they’d been when I left her to rot. But it was all hollowed out. Chrysalis’s back had been torn open from the inside, splitting her chitin open and covering the walls with gore. She had likely blinded the guards with her own organs and blood before dispatching them with her newly freed magic.

I was glad Luna wasn’t with me, this was a new level of nightmare fuel. Those vacant eyes seemed to mock me as I drew closer to see what she had done to herself in order to escape, daring me to give up on ever bending the changeling to my plan. 

I grinned, there were two fatal clues Chrysalis had left behind. Her scent was now revealed through the shredded remains she’d once called a body, and she was still dripping wet with her own viscera. I could follow the scent from drop to drop until I found her.

I managed to track the bug down a seemingly random assortment of hallways, occasionally having to double back as I realized she’d done the same to take a different route. All of them led in the same general direction however, roughly south-southeast. Nothing significant about the direction, it wasn’t towards anything truly significant or the shortest path out. I understood almost instantly, she was lost as fuck and had picked a direction at random to eventually lead her to a window. Been there, done that. A few times. Not all of them before this was my palace.

I sped up, hoping to catch the changeling before she made it out into Tartarus. I wanted to catch her myself, simply lying to me would have been easier on everyone. Now I was contending with a potential rival if she escaped, which would lead to an unending stream of problems as the Greaters tried to back her play for the crown. Unacceptable.

I caught up just in time to see a fleshy pink pair of hooves disappear out a window, but they were gone by the time I stuck my head out to continue the chase. She had escaped, condemning me to the worst possible outcome.

“Fuck,” I sighed, now forced to bank on a ripper or short-sighted incubus to finish the job for me.

I guessed it wasn’t so bad, the upstarts would quiet back down eventually and Chrysalis was still trapped in Tartarus with no provisions or ability to scavenge. Her biology had let her escape, but now it would be her undoing. Demons had no love in their hearts, she would never find a food source while she was here. I could simply post extra guards at the portal for insurance and let her starve to death. Simple, effective.

“She got away,” Luna deduced when I returned to her.

“It doesn’t matter, she’ll either get cut down by a ripper or starve to death,” I replied.

“Did you see Fluttershy while you were there? I don’t think she’s come back yet,” Luna asked.

“I’ll get her, she’ll have to stay in Equestria with everyone else until this gets sorted out,” I responded before turning back and diving back into the labyrinth of the palace to get Harry. It took me only a few minutes, as he was still delivering my decree to the assembled masses of demons.

“The insect is weak, but magically powerful. It will kill you if it can catch you by surprise. For now. It weakens further in both magic and body with every passing second, and will not recover. It will wither and die on its own if ignored, but I want its head brought to me before then. It has slighted me and will face my strength and fury for this transgression,” I added when Harry paused, turning all of their attentions to me, “Tell your Greaters that this one is skilled only in deception, but lacks the capability to beat me. She will not be my rival, she will die from her own weakness within days. It is not worth the gamble to back her, it will only anger me.”

That got them moving, some into search groups and far more as messengers to inform their lords about this development. With that little speech, I guessed that I’d only have to deal with one or two Greaters turning on me.

Who was I kidding? This was going to be a complete shitshow.

I signaled for Harry to follow me as I walked back inside.

“Call the banners and claim the tithes?” Harry guessed bare seconds after the door was sealed. He was referencing the few Greaters that openly supported my rule and had fought in my name before. The tithes were a sort of tax I could impose at will, a way to siphon rippers and other combat capable demons away from the Greaters and add them to my palace guard. It was a holdover from Belial’s days, but it was too useful to get rid of. As a rule, the Greaters that supported me were generally treated much better whenever I tithed the lot of their breed.

“Yes, and steal their logistics specialists as well. We’ll need to feed our new soldiers,” I sighed.

“This is more than just a preemptive move against a rebellion,” Harry stated, it wasn’t a question.

“I’m afraid. The war plans are proceeding well and I’ve been sabotaging the gryphons and minotaurs as much as possible, but the Equestrians are slightly worse than a knee high pile of steaming dogshit when it comes to a standup fight. I’m afraid that I’ll have to fall back on my last resort and unleash the hordes,” I confided. I had faith that Harry would keep this to himself, just as he always had. He wasn’t unique in that, any ripper could be trusted not to talk, but Harry and I had a history that made him easier to talk to and even less likely to speak to the wrong people.

“We will be ready if it comes to that,” Harry promised with a nod.

“Thanks,” I replied, reassured that the endless horde was there if I needed it. I prayed that it wouldn’t come to that, there was no telling the damage they’d do to the landscape. I shuddered at the thought of there being any civilians in their path.

I didn’t have anything else to say, so I settled for sighing and making my way back to Luna and the surface world.


Perspective Change: Chrysalis
Location: Lost As Hell In Tartarus


This was as far from good as it could get. I heard the clawed ones relaying their orders from my hiding place under a merchant stall; they were to take me alive for execution. I had scored a hit against his pride if nothing else; it was better than all of my forebears combined. I could take pride in that, though it was but one step along the road.

My next step was to find a way out of Tartarus, a mission somehow even more difficult than it sounded. I knew there was a staircase… somewhere. Which was guarded at the surface by that three headed beast and no doubt guarded on this end as well. My captivity was a clue I could use, I couldn’t have been out long enough for them to journey to the gate. That meant they had another way in, a way I could use to get out. 

This would be risky, but nothing could be worse than getting stuck down here. Even the air made my chitin itch, though that could’ve been because it hadn’t hardened yet.

So breaking into a labyrinthian palace… in a massive prison built to contain the demon hordes… while surrounded on all sides by foes much stronger than myself… and having no way to feed. 

“I’m going to die down here,” I whispered as a sliver of panic slipped into my mind. I’d quash it in a moment, but I found that allowing the dread to take over for a few seconds made my thinking clearer after it passed.

“Maybe,” a deep voice behind me replied before a bag was thrown over my head and I was dragged to my fate. No, dragged wasn’t the right word for it. They weren’t unnecessarily rough with me, only striking me when I tried to free myself with magic. Otherwise, they were almost gentle.

I decided to settle down and see where this turn of events led, an act that caused my captor to push me the rest of the way into the bag and sling me over his shoulder. I did my best impression of a bunch of potatoes to keep from raising suspicion, as I assumed the one carrying me wasn’t with His group. Perhaps there was a rival faction I could exploit, that would be helpful.

I was eventually set down and allowed time to compose myself before the bag was torn away, a kindness I hadn’t expected but took as a very good sign.

“Smaller than I expected,” a large demon commented from what appeared to be a throne. As I took stock of my surroundings, I saw the telltale signs that this was a great hall similar to that of the older gryphon villages. 

“An unfortunate side effect of my method for escaping,” I replied coolly, taking some offense to the demon’s tone.

“I’m well aware of your conditions and how you got out, they don’t interest me. I’m interested in how adamant the false king is that we turn you over, he sounds afraid of you from what I heard. Why?” the demon asked.

“Because I’m going to kill him,” I replied evenly and without fear, I knew this demon’s type, he’d only respond to strength and arrogance that matched his own.

“You think you can? None before have managed to deal a lasting wound, what makes you different?” the demon pressed.

“I’m not stupid,” I quipped, making the demon bristle as he caught the insult, “I’m not going to challenge him until I’m ready and at my peak, and then I will strike him down with everything I have.”

“Every changeling before you said those exact same words,” the demon retorted as he settled back down.

“But they had lower standards and underestimated him. I shall do neither. I have been running tests for months, seeing how well he can detect infiltrators, experimenting with different weapons and methods of defense. Information collection will be my key to victory. Once I have all the information I could want, I’ll gather more love than he can counter and destroy him while I stand safely behind drones built and equipped to hold him back,” I revealed, leaking only enough of my long-term plans for it to be convincing.

“You will still die screaming,” the demon countered, making me frown.

“Excuse me?” I asked, now intrigued and wondering what I could have missed.

“He’ll loose the Horde. How do you intend to keep a million rippers from tearing you apart while you enact this plan?” the demon mused as it leaned forward to better see and hear my reaction.

“By taking Tartarus from him first, removing it from his options,” I answered as though I had thought of it before just now.

“You think you can take the Infernal Palace alone? You will die-”

“Screaming, I know. That’s why you’re going to help me. You want him dead almost as much as I do, locking him out of here would allow you to take over and take a massive bite out of his strength,” I tempted.

“I like the way you think, insect. We’ll fail and you’ll die, but it should be fun while it lasts. I’ll call my allies and begin amassing our forces to storm the palace,” the demon agreed with a hearty laugh that chilled my soul, “You amuse me, Chrysalis of the Changelings. I will remember you after you die.”

“I intend to be more than a fleeting amusement, I intend to win,” I retorted confidently.

“Ha, if that is so then feast and regain your strength. The support of Malphas will do nothing if you are too weak to carry yourself to victory,” the demon, who I could only assume to be this Malphas, laughed again.

I grinned internally, maybe this would turn out to be even better than just wounding His pride.


Perspective: Jekyll
Location: Abaddon, Ponyville


“Do you intend to tell me this secret that’s on your mind?” Luna interrupted, disrupting my truly riveting story of my first encounter with Rainbow Dash and how I had forced her at spearpoint to fix the damage she had done to my shack.

“No secret, you just forgot about it already,” I replied simply, endeavoring to resume the story as soon as I was sure Luna wouldn’t cut in immediately.

“Stars above, just spit it out,” Luna snapped, clearly tired of my evasive bullshit.

“What’s today’s date?” I asked in lieu of a real answer.

“I’m an alicorn, not a calendar. How should I know?” Luna grumbled.

“By paying attention, otherwise you’d know not to bother with the sun and moon tomorrow morning,” I hinted, making Luna’s eyes narrow for a moment before they shot wide in shock.

“My-My birthday? Tomorrow is my birthday? Is it that late in the year already?” Luna stammered.

“Yes, yeah, and yep. Which is why the sun is still up even though it really should be late evening, your sister keeps it up for as long as possible today and the day after your birthday to make up for the lost light. Looking back, an odd solar event every single year around this time should have been a pretty big tip off that Chelly wasn’t lying about controlling the sun,” I responded. 

“That’s good to know, anything else I should be aware of?” Luna asked.

“Costumes are generally a thing tomorrow, but Spike told you-” I began.

“You weren’t there for that,” Luna cut in, “Were you following me?”

“No, I was watching through Jeff. I do that when I’m feeling paranoid. Anyway, Spike told you about the costumes; they’re so Nightmare Moon doesn’t eat you,” I continued, pausing when I saw Luna’s disgusted look.

“She never did that, it would have repulsed something as evil as her. It feels like slander,” Luna commented.

“It’s always been accepted that the whole eating ponies thing is bullshit, but it makes it more fun for the foals. That faux risk makes it ‘dangerous’,” I explained, coaxing a smile out of Luna.

“I suppose it can stay. Now the question is… do we follow the trend?” Luna proposed.

“I don’t know about you, but I am,” I replied as Hugo the Red, privateer captain and scourge of pirates.

“I guess I don’t have much choice in the matter,” Nightmare Moon reasoned. Even Luna’s voice had changed to match the villain's, but her tone hadn’t been altered at all and ensured that there was no confusion over who was in control.

There was something missing, something critical. The armor Luna had been wearing as Nightmare, it was too iconic to neglect. I made a split second decision to keep quiet about it and have the gear commissioned in secret, making it a surprise birthday present. Jragden would get over copying a design.

There was one thing that bugged me about that set though, it seemed very spartan.

“Hey Lu?” I asked after a moment, “When you came back, that armor you were wearing… was it broken?”

“The Elements shattered it when they restored my mind, you know that,” Luna replied quizzically.

“No, I mean, all you had was a helmet, chest plate, and shoes. Was that all there was to it?” I clarified.

“Yes,” Luna replied easily, seeming to miss the implications of having such little actual armor.

“Did Chelly’s armor cover that little?” I pressed.

“Yes, it was the exact same pattern but with a gold tint instead of silver. Both sets were supposed to be ceremonial, that’s why they don’t meet your standards,” Luna allowed.

“That makes more sense,” I agreed.

“However, you’re raised another question. What made you ask?” Luna asked suspiciously, a ghost of a smile crossing her face.

“Seeing you like that without the helmet seemed off, which led to me taking a more critical look at the gear,” I partially lied.

“I don’t believe you, you’re hiding something. If I were a betting mare, I’d wager that there is an enforcer in Tartarus right now having a replacement set made as a birthday gift,” Luna teased. Her horn had remained dark the entire time, ruling out any mind tricks.

“So much for the surprise,” I sighed as I looked away in mild frustration while Luna laughed.

“Oh, don’t be like that. I doubt anyone else can predict you as well as I can,” Luna offered, knowing exactly how to ease my temper.

I humphed in acknowledgement, “It’s not a problem if it’s just you, that was never the issue. But things are starting to ramp up more quickly than I’d like and being predictable has caused some major problems for the people around me over the years. It makes my teeth itch.”

“I’m going to assume that’s a turn of phrase,” Luna commented, prompting me to shrug. It was a little of both, “I understand and can relate, I’ll try to keep it to myself when I can if that would help.”

“No, don’t hold back. It’ll make it easier for me to find my patterns and change them,” I countered, turning analytical on reflex as the faces of those I’d let down flooded my mind. Many of them would have lived longer if I’d kept from forming a routine or stopped others from exploiting it.

“Your patterns?” Luna repeated quizzically, tilting her head, “But that’s the easiest thing in the world to see. It’s circles.”

“Circles? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I pressed, utterly confused by her words. I was sure I didn’t follow any kind of regular cycle, I’d learned that lesson already.

“Yep, though perhaps loops would work as well. Round and round you go, wrapping yourself tighter around my hoof,” Luna teased, shattering the tension and making me bark a laugh.

“That may have been the worst joke you’ve ever made,” I chuckled.

“You laughed, so it still counts as a victory,” Luna declared as she grabbed my hand with her wing and started strutting deeper into the leviathan.

“Off to bed already?” I guessed as I easily kept up and mentally kicked myself for proving her right immediately after being called out.

“Not quite, Cat and I have some unfinished business. Then we’ll go to bed,” Luna replied.

“Sounds good, I’ve got some pap-” I managed before a beam of un-light darkened everything around me. Luna’s glare was truly something to behold, particularly with her eyes as black as the void and draining all light from the area, “-erwork to finish up.”

“Nah, you should just wait. It’ll only take a few minutes,” Luna suggested forcefully.

“Luna, I have fought your sister hundreds of times, often when she’s actually angry. Your little fake glare isn’t going to scare me, but it is impressive,” I noted, causing Luna to blink and end the darkness.

“Eh, worth a try,” Luna shrugged before releasing my hand and starting to walk away.

“Hey Lu, one last thing,” I called getting her attention. When Luna turned to see what I needed, she completely locked up and her eyes widened in fear. She hadn’t held back with the force of her glare, but I was restricting it to only my bottled rage. Luna was facing down a glare built of loss and pain and tempered with the fire of a military command. I had caused heart attacks by letting even a little bit of demon magic slip into that stare, though I generally preferred not to cause this level of trauma to those around me.

When I relaxed my face a second later, Luna stumbled back. Her legs seemed shaky now, as though adrenaline was still flooding her veins.

“Moon and stars, what in Tartarus just happened?” Luna demanded.

“My definition of a glare,” I replied easily.

“Dammit Jay, why do you always have to one-up me?” Luna protested.

“Because you’ve figured out all of my mannerisms, I need to find a new contest for you,” I lied. It was my insecure need to have something over everyone around me, but I was sure Luna already knew that.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go fix whatever Cadence broke in Cat before calling it a night,” Luna responded, still cross. 

“I’ll catch up when I’ve finished up in the office,” I replied, knowing this wasn’t over.


Perspective Change: Luna


“Competition my plot,” I grumbled as I wandered off, my hooves still rattling from that look. I had seen the look on that caribou when it had tried to kill me, I had seen Tia’s eyes when she had fought me, but nothing compared to that level of hate and malice. It made me wonder, not for the first time, if Jay was using me to get at Tia. Would he kill me if I acted against his plan for the world? Could I act against his plan? He always avoided describing what it was, so there was no way to know his intent. I needed to find something else to think about or this would ruin my week.

“Uh, hi?” Cat greeted awkwardly, alerting me to the fact that I’d walked right into her room and up to her face while I was thinking and complaining to myself. I was nearly kissing her when I looked outside of myself, which made me stumble back in surprise, “No offense taken. I just wasn’t sure if you knew what you were getting into, you seemed pretty out of it.”

“Yeah, I’m back to wondering if Jay has my best interests at heart or if I’m just another asset,” I confessed.

“And what was the answer I gave you last time?” Cat prompted.

“Both can be true without either being malicious,” I parroted.

“Does that make sense in this context?” Cat continued.

“I don’t know, the hate in his eyes...it seemed so-” I stumbled before Cat raised a hand to stop me.

“I know that look, you don’t have to go into any more detail. He can do that on command, it isn’t personal. I don’t think he’s even seeing the person he directs it at, he’s deep in the past when he lets his anger out. That’s all I really know on the subject, other than that he gave me a heart attack once with only that look,” Cat explained, doing absolutely nothing to quell my fears. She had shifted them though, I was now worried for the world instead of myself. What could someone with that much hidden anger be planning for the entire world? No, panic later, fix your friend's brain now.

“So about what happened earlier today,” I began clumsily, “I still need to undo whatever Cadence did to your mind.”

“Feel free to look, but I’m pretty sure I solved that already. Not much carries over after a few suicides,” Cat replied with a shrug, though she tensed when my horn lit.

“I’m not going to do anything to you, I’m just looking for a magical outlier. It’ll feel different from your natural magic and stand out, then I can cast a counterspell to reverse whatever she did to you,” I explained calmly as I looked into Catrix’s mind. I thanked the stars that this wasn’t a read, I really didn’t want to know what went on inside this demon’s head at any point. 

I cursed loudly after a couple minutes of digging around ineffectually, I couldn’t see anything that was different from Catrix’s demonic aura. That meant one of two things, either Cat had been successful in removing it herself or… a memory had been altered.

After explaining this to Cat, I was waved off.

“If that’s all she did, then I don’t care. I’m honestly tempted to go find her and have her do more if she’s erasing my worst memories, it’s only something I’ve been trying to do for the past millennium though head trauma,” Cat protested.

“That is so far from being a healthy attitude,” I commented, noting the irony.

“My life has been far from being a healthy one,” Cat countered. I found it difficult to argue with that.

“Very well, I won’t push it. You should know though, there is no spell I’m aware of that allows for the complete removal of memories. Alteration perhaps, but nothing major and no changes to your internal timeline,” I cautioned.

“Then what did she do?” Cat asked.

“I have no way of knowing without looking though one by one, but I get the impression you’ll kill yourself if I even suggest doing that,” I responded.

“You are correct,” Cat replied curtly.

“Then we’ll have to ask her and hope she’s honest. But my confusion is more about why she altered a memory when she was focused on relationships. It seemed to me that she’d intended to make you open to the idea, but nothing in your thought patterns shows signs of tampering,” I mused, talking more to myself as I puzzled though what might have happened.

“Honestly Luna, I don’t even care anymore. You totally lost me when you said that she hadn’t fucked up my mind,” Cat stated plainly, prompting me to back off. Cat never pushed anyone away, I must’ve been making her supremely uncomfortable for her to do so now.

“Sorry, I’ll drop it,” I allowed, embarrassed that I had gone on so long without realizing how upset I was making Cat.

“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter,” Cat responded distantly before bringing her thumb to her neck and opening an artery with a casualness that was not dissimilar to how anyone else would scratch an itch on their scalp. I could only stare at where she had been as her body burned to nothing.

“Moon and stars, I need to find a team of therapists to help the one I already have,” I sighed before walking over to the door and heading directly into my own room, Cat would return both to life and to her room shortly. It was still disturbing, even after all the times I’d seen Catrix die before.

“Let me guess, she killed herself?” Jay assumed, startling me as I realized he was already sitting on our bed.

“Again,” I replied.

“She’s getting worse about it, something’s really bothering her,” Jay commented as I crawled onto the bed beside him.

“We should look into getting her some professional help, maybe have her restrained at the same time so she can’t bail on it,” I suggested.

“Tried that. She has to have a free jaw to speak, a free jaw means she can bite her tongue off. I could rip her teeth out, but I feel like that would be the exact opposite of the damn point,” Jay groaned as he sympathized.

“I’ll think on it tomorrow, but Cat’s not going to be an easy nut to crack,” I agreed before settling in and closing my eyes for the night.


The Next ‘Morning’
Perspective: Jekyll


Luna’s costume armor was waiting for her when she stirred, though this set was not made for anything close to fighting. Jragden had clearly been miffed by the order, as my casual inspection revealed it to be constructed from several different metals. My guess was that he had thrown it together out of scraps he had lying around. Or the trash; that was only slightly less likely.

I had ordered my actual coat and old sword retrieved from storage, giving my Hugo look a touch more authenticity. Both had seen better days but were in good enough condition for this. The coat in particular was looking a little threadbare despite the precautions I’d taken against some of time’s more malicious effects. 

“Did you steal that from a museum?” Luna teased when she saw me attempting to put it on without tearing the fabric.

“Yeah, mine,” I replied with matching levels of snark.

“Sentimental old coot,” Luna continued, to which I couldn’t disagree.

“I think this one might have to go in a real museum, I’ll just destroy it at this point,” I sighed as I surrendered this battle to the concept of time and formed an exact copy out of my flesh. I replaced the sword and belt as well, seeing no need for them to suffer either.

“Don’t, not yet. I have an idea for keeping that old scrap alive. Besides, I still need to pay you back for…. What the fuck did Danny do to my armor?” Luna responded, looking into the wooden box her new armor set had some in. Her upper lip was raised in disgust.

I took a look inside the box but failed to notice anything off, “What?”

“The shoulders are completely different, they’re not supposed to cover my legs at all. And what is this thing coming up towards my neck? Damn it all, is it really that difficult to copy something one fucking time?” Luna raged as I lifted one of the offending segments.

“This is silver,” I noted as I felt the metal, “Odd for him to let actual defense enter a set this blatantly ceremonial. I’d just shear those parts off if I were in your shoes, maybe even send them back to spite him.”

“I guess I’ll have to,” Luna grumbled as she started parting the metal and removing the embellishments. It took another minute for her to find the straps and clasps, then get it attached to herself, “He did manage to make it more comfortable, I’ll give him that. Much better strap positioning.”

“Looks strange on you instead of Nightmare,” I commented, prompting her to complete her look before responding.

“You never saw it on me, I wore it more often than she did,” Luna countered with Nightmare’s voice.

“Kinda assumed that. No offense, she wears it better,” I replied.

“I’m aware,” Luna sighed, “What’s our itinerary look like?”

“Don’t have one. It’s somewhere around ten in the morning and festivities go until about midnight. Between those hours, it’s a nationwide party. On top of that, today is your day. I’m not about to make you a birthday schedule,” I responded, somewhat confused and answering what I thought was her question.

“Okay, but when are the meet and greets scheduled and where? Will there be time to explore each city between them or will it be all day?” Luna pressed.

“You’re not listening,” I chided, “There is no schedule. At. All. No meet and greets. No cities. No ballrooms. No speeches. No formality.”

“Oh. OH!” Luna exclaimed, finally catching on, “Then I know exactly where to begin.”

One hour later we finally made it out of the room, only for Luna to change her mind and drag me back in.

“Lazy shit,” I mocked as I was tossed back onto the bed.

“Shut up and be warm,” Luna replied as she settled in to continue dozing.

It was about four in the afternoon when Luna and I arrived in Ponyville, Luna’s nightmarish grin eliciting playful screams from passing groups of children and nearly as excited smiles from their parents.

“I figured you’d arrive earlier,” Twilight commented loudly when she spotted us, drawing the attention of the ponies she’d been chatting with. 

“You’re one for talking about punctuality, Starswirl,” I countered, very nearly saying the wrong name.

Luna snickered, “I see you crossed paths with him as well, one was lucky if he got the day right.”

Twilight bristled at our casual disrespect towards her hero, “Hey, he was-”

My attention shifted to Twilight in an instant, looking for a reason as to why she had stopped talking. She seemed to be in mid sentence, but frozen in place. Looking around and listening, the whole world seemed to have come to an abrupt halt. Even the fire from a nearby candle didn’t flicker, though I didn’t put too much thought into how it still produced light and how I was able to cast a shadow when I moved my hand.

“Nee…” A ghostly voice whispered behind me. I whipped around just in time to see a pair of glowing white eyes fade away.

“You again? This is my third time seeing you hanging around,” I commented conversationally, attempting to throw off my stalker while I prepared an attack and mapped my surroundings. It wouldn’t do to accidentally behead a random pony.

“Nee…” the voice said again. This time I led with a claw swinging through the apparition and dispersing it like so much smoke.

“I have elbows too,” I critiqued, hoping to draw out at least the rest of the word it was trying to say. Apparently that was the wrong move, as it suddenly appeared a few feet in front of me and closed the distance rapidly. It vanished before my claws could make contact though, “Either talk or fight, this shit is getting on my nerves.”

It came from my left this time, then the right, then behind me. I was quickly assailed from all directions and was unwilling to see if I could weather an attack from what seemed to be a ghost without taking an unacceptable amount of damage. My solution was to add more arms and eyes, watch every direction at the same time and be able to strike out immediately.

That also appeared to be a mistake, as the ghost only increased the volume of its charges. Not seeing a better option, I entered into the arms race with gusto. My form twisted, split, merged, and contorted to continuously counter the offensive. By the time I finally managed to land a hit on the creature, I resembled a tree more than my original form. My legs had thickened to hold up my upper body without allowing me to become unstable, my head no longer existed in favor of just putting eyes along the whipping branchlike tendrils. All of that, building a new form out of pure necessity, had paid off. In the instant I made contact, I saw the true face of my assailant before he vanished once more.

“You,” I accused, “What are you doing here?”

“Pushing you,” Fate replied, dropping his game and resolving a few feet away. I didn’t have any evidence for giving him that name, but I didn’t need any. I knew this was the puppeteer behind the scenes.

“I should kill you,” I threatened.

“You wouldn’t be the most powerful to try, not even in the top ninety percent,” Fate mocked, though I knew he spoke honestly. It was really weird to be on this side of the conversation for once.

“Then speak your piece and leave me be, you seem to have been content with that for damn near a thousand years,” I demanded as I reverted to my normal form. Fighting this thing was out of the question, for now.

“Shame, your previous look was so beautiful. No matter, I’ll see it again soon enough. So onto the business at hand, eh? Luna’s return started you down your path, I want you to take your foot off the proverbial brake. Stop dragging this out and embrace what you are,” Fate insisted, spreading his arms for some kind of dramatic effect.

“I doubt I could embrace what I am any more than I already have,” I countered.

“Hmm? No, not what you’ve become. What you’re meant to be! The grand antagonist, the villain of the story!” Fate corrected.

“Perspective. I’ve been the villain for every two-bit merc that set out to kill me. Use one of them for your bullshit,” I argued.

“No no no, that’s not near grand enough. You need to be the world’s enemy, their great beast to struggle against in vain,” Fate refuted.

“No.”

“What? What do you mean ‘no’?” Fate asked, seeming confused.

“I won’t do as you say, I’ll defend me and mine but no more,” I clarified, visibly angering what could only be called a god.

“Stubborn and spiteful, bah! You don’t even know how many of you failed to even live this long and you’d just throw it all away,” Fate raged.

“Indulge me then. How many have died?” I asked, sweetening my tone to continue trying to worm my way under his skin.

“All of them, every other version of you has died. Suicide usually, one natural disaster, and two to Celestia,” Fate hissed.

“I see, and how many were there to begin with,” I pressed, not expecting the thing to laugh as though I’d said something remarkably stupid.

“You have no idea how this works, do you? There were infinite versions of you,” Fate replied, still laughing.

“That math does not work,” I pointed out.

“Perspective. It doesn’t work out to your limited mind,” Fate countered, attempting to throw my words back at me.

“Or we have different definitions of infinite,” I offered.

“Endless, eternal, without number? No, our meaning for the word is the same. But not how it exists, all infinite parallels eventually fall down to one strong line, no matter how straight their path when first setting out. You’re the last Jekyll and you aren’t following your path,” Fate continued, making my teeth itch with his inane rambling.

“So now you’re stepping in to make sure your investment doesn’t fail outright?” I guessed.

“Correct,” Fate sighed with some relief.

“Kay, then the first thing I’m going to do is kill myself,” I replied, causing the god’s eyes to shoot wide with shock.

“NO! You can’t! Wait, perhaps you’d respond better to a stimulus than an idea. You are the cause for this world to exist, I made it just for you. It will burn to ash when you die, then the ash will burn into oblivion and I’ll use the space for a new game. Luna won’t survive your death, she never does. Neither does Freydis,” Fate attempted, changing tactics. Now he was under my skin.

“Do not say her name,” I warned.

“PROGRESS!” Fate cheered. I hated that he was right.

“What do you want?” I relented, recognizing that I was defeated for now. I’d have to find another way to spite him going forward.

“Two things. Firstly, I’m having the Alliance abandon their timetable and move in early. You will break your oaths and be yourself during the conflict,” Fate began, making me snarl. I knew exactly what he meant by that, “Secondly, Chrysalis has managed to get herself in a pretty bad spot. You will retrieve her from Malphas and turn her loose.”

“Piss off, I’m not helping the bug. Fuck your deus ex machina bullshit, she can have all the benefits of shacking up with the Architect of Self Destruction,” I snapped.

“I suppose that was a bit much to ask. Still, worth a try. Refusing me further will have consequences though, like Luna’s little immunity,” Fate threatened.

“Someday I’ll figure out how to kill you,” I replied.

“No, you won't,” Fate responded calmly. Shit.

“Anything else? You want fries with that?” I asked sarcastically.

“I don’t think I do, but I’ll be sure to let you know going forward. I think this is the beginning of something cosmically dreadful and I look forward to when I can finally claim you,” Fate chuckled.

“Do what now?” I asked, though time was already starting up again.

“Farewell for now… Stranger,” Fate bid. And then he was gone and time was moving normally again.

“-brilliant, for his time and compared to modern mages,” Twilight finished before noticing that I had miraculously moved more than thirty feet.

“Shitfire,” I swore as I processed what had just happened.

“Jay?” Luna asked.

“Figured out who Fate is, just had a nice chat with him,” I replied, assuming Fate hadn’t wanted me to disclose his manipulations. Fuck him, I’d talk about whatever I pleased.

“You’re joking,” Luna stated, refusing to believe I’d just sit by and allow an enemy like that to leave.

“Nope, he was here. He was faster than me too, I couldn’t kill him. I guess that makes sense, he did make me after all,” I revealed, there was no forgetting that pale face.

“Anything we can do?” Luna asked, not unkindly but it was clear she wasn’t expecting much.

“No, just ignore it for now. We can deal with it in a couple days,” I replied, hiding my frustration. I really wanted to break something.


Perspective Change: Luna


Jay was angrier than I’d ever seen. He could hide it from his face, but his eyes burned hatefully in the dim light. I’d need to cause a distraction before he could brood too mu-

“Higuyandgirlswannagoapplebobbing?” a sudden and unexpected voice suggested, drawing my attention to a strikingly pink mare in a chicken costume. I supposed that it was for the benefit of the children running around, so that they could have a few adults to hide behind that weren’t frightful to them. 

“Pinkie, why are you dressed like a chicken?” Twilight asked, sounding like she regretted the question as she was asking it.

“For the candy, silly. Everypony knows you’ve gotta be dressed up on Nightmare Night to get candy,” Pinkie replied instantly, prompting Twilight to hold a hoof over her eyes. There went that idea.

“Aren’t you a little old for that?” Twilight continued. I cast a glance at Jay, who looked much more content as he watched the pair bicker with amusement.

“You’re never too old for candy,” Pinkie countered, “Are you coming or what? Those apples won’t bob themselves.”

Twilight looked at Jay and I, then shrugged and followed after Pinkie as she bounced along. I didn’t see a better option, so I followed suit and Jay fell in behind me. 

Somehow, they had snuck an entire carnival into Ponyville without me noticing at all. There were games, both new and old, everywhere. I scarcely knew what more than half of the games even entailed, and many of the ones I could figure out were only in that category because I could see others playing them.

Bobbing for apples was as old as time, that one predated even me. Jay caught a lightning bolt from above after I called him on cheating, though the one responsible flew off with a cackle before any retaliation could form.

“Well, that was one way to get a snack. Any ideas for what to do next?” I asked, turning my head away from the barrel to speak.

“Well, that’s a good question. What do you think looks-oh my gosh!” Twilight attempted, breaking off to cry out just as water splashed across my face. I spun back to the barrel to see a tail sinking below the surface.

I was the closest and went in after the foal, pulling him out to see a small colt dressed up like a pirate. He even had a little wooden sword and everything, it was adorable.

“Oh wow, thanks Princess,” the colt offered with no difficulty, I must’ve gotten to him before he could get too much water in his nose.

“And who might you be, sailor?” I asked, attempting to keep with the tradition.

“I’m Pip-er-Torn Sail, scou… sker..? bad guy of Baltimare Bay!” The colt answered with some difficulty.

“Torn Sail? My old nemesis, we meet again at last,” Jay greeted dramatically as he assumed a mock fighting stance.

The colt just looked confused, though Applejack and Applebloom were close enough to hear and started laughing.

“Oh, don’t you recognize me? It hasn’t been that long. I’m Hugo the Red, breaker of the Baltimare Bay Blockade. That should at least be familiar to you, my old enemy,” Jay continued.

“Woah, you actually know that story?” the colt gushed with amazement.

“Well, of course I do. Did’ye fall off your ship?” Jay teased.

“Not to ruin the moment, but I’m not comfortable with calling you Torn Sail. What’s your real name?” I requested, recalling the gruesome way that outlaw had met his end.

“Okay, I’m Pipsqueak. My friends call me Pip though,” Pipsqueak replied happily.

“Ah yes, good. Pipsqueak the Foal, now I can eat you,” I responded playfully, giving just enough time for Pipsqueak to connect the dots before I dropped the act and smiled so show I was kidding. 

That...That did not work. He was around the block before I figured out that my fang filled grin had only added to the idea that I actually intended to eat him. Jay was not being helpful as he rolled around laughing, Pinkie, on the other hoof, took off after Pipsqueak without a word.

“I forgot about Nightmare’s teeth,” I admitted, raising more chuckles from onlookers at my expense. Why she’d twisted them like that was beyond me, I had her memories of struggling to eat.

I quickly joined in with their mirth, noting the mistake and ensuring it wouldn’t cause any more misunderstandings.

“Perhaps that spider toss game, it looks pleasant enough,” I commented, answering the original question from before Pipsqueak had gotten himself into trouble.

“Only if you don’t eat anyone,” Twilight teased.

“I promise noth-” I managed before a searing pain deep in my chest drove me to my knees. My eyes burned, watering in an effort to sooth whatever was happening to me. I coughed up something coppery, my chest heaving as everything burned.

“You son of a bitch, FINE! I’LL STEP UP!” I heard Jay shout, which oddly removed all trace of the pain and the blood in my mouth. There wasn’t even any lingering sensation, it was just gone as though it had never been there to begin with.

“What’s going on?” I asked, clueless and more than a little terrified.

“Someone just made it clear that I’m no longer allowed to procrastinate. I’m sorry Lu, it looks like I’m going to miss your birthday. I have to go to work,” Jay apologized, “Jeff, let Tzu know I’m leaving. Send sixty squads if I’m not back by tomorrow evening.”

Sixty squads of enforcers? Where in Equestria was he going?


Perspective Change: Jekyll
Eight Hours Later


I still felt guilty about leaving Luna alone, though she did have Twilight and the others to keep her happy and having fun. At least I’d return soon, I’d made good time travelling to Minos.

I kept a high altitude to avoid detection until it was too late for them to interfere, which wasn’t hard given the few numbers of gryphons in the minotaur city. Each of them seemed more focused on the ground anyway, likely aids for Cragcliff going about their duties.

Brazen Castle was not built in anticipation of an aerial attack, it had far too many skylights to ever be strategically viable in that regard. Besides, what kind of psychopath would divebomb directly into a meeting hall from forty thousand feet in the air?

The table utterly shattered as I made my explosive entrance, launching drinks and papers nearly as far as the splinters. It was a shame, this table had a lot of history. It had seen the rise of several good kings and bore the blood stains of poor rulers that had been overthrown. All of that sacrificed because I wanted to make an impression. More so, it was a circular table and braced at four points halfway to the perimeter. It buckled inwards and threw it’s shrapnel above those that had been seated around it. I had no intention of committing regicide today.

I left my wings limp, draped over the rubble dramatically as glass shards rained from my chosen point of entry. My head slowly raised to face Brey’ten, king of the minotaur clans, in his own home. To his credit, he wasn’t pissing himself or visibly enraged. Brey’ten was a good king, a little too proud but level-headed and fair. He was showing those better qualities now.

Cragcliff, Emperor of the Gryphon Isles, was only slightly less implacable. He had leapt from his seat and pressed against the wall, though this seemed to have more to do with how I had arrived than who I was. I didn’t care for Cragcliff, he was the fourth generation of his dynasty and had done nothing to earn his title as far as I could see. Decent politician, but he had nothing to back that up with. No military competency, no economic insights, nothing. He wasn’t stupid however, he was willing to appoint experts in those fields to his cabinet and did so frequently.

The last individual of note at the table was High Shaman Zeliren, who had leaned forward in interest and nodded a greeting when she saw my eyes turn her way. I knew next to nothing about Zeliren, except that she was well liked by her people and tended to avoid public speaking. To that end, not one of my spies had ever heard her voice. 

The countless aids and servants were below my attention, the sharpshooters were not.

“Stand down, Jekyll didn’t come to us to die,” Brey-ten instructed, the knowing caution in his tone was all but refreshing. I nodded my thanks as I collected my wings and stepped out of the debris to address the assembled royals directly.

“I know about Fate, and that he’s pushing you into this. I also know this isn’t about Celestia or me anymore. Not for you, anyway,” I announced.

“True,” Brey-ten allowed, getting a quiet glare from Cragcliff, “Shut it bird, I’ve trifled with Jekyll before. It is better to speak honestly.”

“Brey-ten’s words are wise, our guard forces are not to size,” Zeliren agreed, giving me a taste of her voice for the first time. It was a kind voice, gentle and soft. She wasn’t a warrior, that much was certain.

“I don’t care for bullies,” Cragcliff responded, opting for agitation for now. I didn’t care what face he put on, he’d listen intently to every word spoken. That’s all I wanted from them.

“Fate wants me fighting you directly, I’m not getting an option. I would recommend backing off; or, failing that, keeping to your original schedule. I don’t want to fight and would rather avoid bloodshed if possible,” I stated, making the trio exchange looks as they considered my words.

“Is that your sole concern? The war? Not your traitorous kin?” Brey-ten confirmed.

“Cut off the head of the serpent and the body dies, Fate is undermining me with that as well. I seek to remove his influence and restore the status quo,” I insisted honestly, I could deal with the rogues later.

“What does that shade have over you? Some plague or famine that can appear and disappear at his whim? I don’t see you caring much about either of those like we do,” Cragcliff asked before wincing as I looked his way and he realized I didn’t know how Fate had coerced them.

“You’re right, I don’t care overmuch about plagues or famine beyond what it would do to those around me. It isn’t enough to drive me into this room. He threatened everything, then made sure I knew he would act if I didn’t obey,” I replied with a nod of sympathy for the situation they’d been forced into.

“You save the world from destruction? This is quite the introduction,” Zeliren responded skeptically.

“Not your world, just mine,” I corrected, “You might call me selfish, but he hinted at slowly killing my family.”

“I find I cannot agree, family is a powerful plea,” Zeliren allowed, offering a somber smile.

“I can’t imagine this will do much to alter your course?” I attempted.

“Nothing could, we have our people to consider. Their wellbeing has to come first, access to the fertile lands of Equestria is a consolation prize for playing his game,” Brey-ten replied, though he clearly wasn’t happy about it.

“Your people will die, I’ll be taking the field with everything at my disposal. Enforcers, demons, leviathans, and my own power all work to stop your invasion. You’d still send your children to die in that grinding machine of war?” I pressed.

“We’d prefer Equestria’s surrender when our ships land, our terms aren’t unfair. Luna will be instated as governor and a slight tax will be imposed based on which region of the land belongs to which party. It isn’t cruel,” Cragcliff insisted. He wasn’t wrong, Brey-ten wouldn’t allow terms that were too heavy handed.

“They won’t accept and I’m prevented from agreeing by our mutual manipulator, not that I would anyway. I’m an independent force within Equestria first and the King of Tartarus second, neither of those do much bowing to anyone,” I responded.

“Yes, we heard that rumor. I suppose we’ll see if you’re blowing smoke about the demons, until then we’ve accomplished precisely nothing aside from sharing a little information,” Cragcliff commented snidely, earning himself a quick glare from the other two.

I dismissed the insult with a gesture, “I suppose you’re correct, but I had to make the effort. I’m going to assume you catch my meaning.”

“We do,” Brey-ten granted before either of the other two had a chance to speak, “I’d offer you the usual customs, but you broke my table and I’m limited to being petulant about it.”

“Fair,” I allowed. I wouldn’t let him arrest me and the ramifications of killing me would be too severe, a table wasn’t worth all of that. 

“I am, however, bound by honor to offer you a bed before you leave for your home,” Brey-ten continued.

“I’ll pass, thanks though. I should make my way back as soon as I can, I’m missing Luna’s birthday because of Fate’s insistence,” I replied more affably.

“Had I known this was her day, I’d have an offering to pay. Though now I know this news, maybe this will halt any blues?” Zeliren offered as she removed one of the bracelets from her left foreleg and held it in her upturned hoof.

“Luna collects bracelets, I’m sure she’ll love it,” I replied warmly as I accepted the gift and stowed it away within my shoulder. It struck me how polite Zeliren remained despite planning to attack Luna’s country, making me scour the loop for any toxins a second time. I was wary of this one now, she was more cunning than she was letting on.

“You’ll forgive Brey-ten and I if we don’t send your marefriend gifts,” Cragcliff scoffed. Now that he knew nothing would be gained from me and that I wouldn’t be attacking him, I was just another irritation. His type never changed, no matter what time period or species. I didn’t hold it against him, it was an effective coping mechanism for the stresses of ruling a nation.

“Wife,” I corrected before launching myself out the same destroyed skylight I’d entered through. It was the eleventh hour, giving them that detail to chew on would keep them distracted for days if I was lucky. Hiding my marriage was no longer useful.

I spent the flight back processing all of the recent information and planning around it, finding only one result every time I tried to envision a grand strategy. We were going to lose unless I initiated a massive preemptive strike against all three of our opponents, which came with even more problems and justified every ill word ever spoken about me.

There weren’t enough enforcers to carry out an attack of that size, not even if just one was tasked to each target, demons would need to be utilized, which meant a global scale Awakening. I could control individual portals and police what came through, but there would be trouble if I opened millions of them all at once. Greaters, incubi, pretties, these did not respond well to the surface and couldn’t be controlled. 

No, there had to be a different solution to this...this...what the hell was that?

My reverie had looped upon itself enough times to carry me all the way to ponyville, where the sun was just cresting the horizon on the day after Luna’s birthday. The light had caught something outside Rosebud’s house, in her side garden. Something that should not have been.

I glided in for a landing next to the impossible plant and plucked a leaf for analysis. I had never seen its like anywhere in this world, though just from looking at it I knew what it was.

“What in the goddamn?” I asked aloud, keeping my voice low. This plant was several months old and yet had not existed yesterday. The soil was well packed, it hadn’t been recently planted either. 

“Now I know you aren’t trying to steal from me,” an accusatory voice demanded.

“When did this get here?” I responded, ignoring Rosebud’s question.

“That does it, now I know you’ve been smoking my crop! Shoo, get away before I have to scream for help,” Rosebud threatened, enraged by something I must’ve missed. I relented and backed off before the mare could get too worked up. I’d need to ask Luna if she’d seen it before anyway.

“Chillax Rosie, we got this. He won’t steal any of your crop with us watching,” Vinyl offered from behind me, prompting me to glance over my shoulder at the new arrivals. Vinyl Scratch led Octavia and an undisguised Six over to where I was ogling the impossible plant.

“Hmph, I don’t trust you either Vinyl. Be glad you brought Octavia with you,” Rosebud huffed before walking back inside. Despite her words, I could still see her watching through her window with a paranoid stare.

“This was not here yesterday,” I declared.

“Of course it was, what’s the matter with you?” Octavia asked, sounding more confused than anything.

“No, he’s right. That did not exist before last night,” Six corrected, “It poses so many questions, especially since its appearance altered the memories of everyone in town. I suppose the best place to start is asking where it came from?”

“I met Fate last night. Well, it was yesterday, but all of yesterday was night. He could make this exist and alter the memories, I can’t see why though,” I mused.

“Who’s Fate?” Six asked.

“In a word? Capital ‘G’ God, and he’s a dick,” I replied. Why had he done this? Was it all to get under my skin?


200 Years Later


I chuckled at my remembered arrogance. I suppose it made sense at the time, having just been told I was the center of the universe per se. Lot of good I turned out to be.

I broke another piece off the empty bottle just to hear something other than the wind howling past the mouth of my cave. She hadn’t visited, maybe she never would again. Maybe it was just me and my ghosts.

Maybe I could hear the scratching of someone outside. Maybe I wouldn’t kill them.
> Chapter 38: The Gathering  Storm
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Present Day


This was a mistake. Nothing was getting done, two or three person factions had formed, and everyone was screaming at each other. Luna had backed my proposal of using a decisive first battle to discourage further landings. Cat and Harry were with me on that as well, but their support had never been in doubt.

Chelly, Twilight, and Rarity wanted to turn the entire country invisible and hope the incoming armies turned back. I called them idiots and Chelly threw a fireball at me.

Cadence and Pinky wanted to go the compassion route and convince everyone to be friends. I hadn’t bothered to say anything, everyone else was yelling at them for that anyhow.

AJ, Mac, and Shining Armor wanted mass conscription to rush construction of our defenses. I gave them a hard look and Mac volunteered to emphasize his point. I shrugged at that, there wouldn’t be time but I did appreciate his conviction.

Dash had left before the argument had started. On the assumption that she was going to do something stupid, I sent some Gammas to keep her from dying.

Fluttershy was curled in a ball and quietly singing to herself as she attempted to avoid being here at all.

Tzu was watching everything without comment, as expected.

"Enough! This is getting us nowhere," I declared, slamming my fist down on the table for silence, "We have weeks, if that, before they get here."

"Which is why we need to ramp up construction now," Shining insisted, getting nods from his faction.

"Maybe we could do everything?" Cadence offered.

"That's the smartest thing you've said today," I agreed.

"We find this agreeable as well," Chelly stated. I noticed she hadn't bothered to confer with Twilight and Rarity before speaking, though they weren't arguing.

"Then that's what we'll do. Except, of course, the plan to befriend the invaders. I've been trying diplomacy, it isn't working. Chelly, hide the continent. Shining, coordinate the construction. Tzu, help Shining. Shining, shut the fuck up. Lu, you and I will get as much of the military scraped together as possible. Any questions?" I proposed.

Shining opened his mouth to speak but Chelly’s look was enough to silence his predictable protest.

"Where do you want us, boss?" Harry asked.

"Exactly where you are, doing what you do," I replied. Harry simply nodded, knowing what I meant. I needed him managing my reserves, as loathe as I was to employ them. Cat wasn't as useful militarily but had other, equally useful, skills.

"You've left us out of this grand plan, what are we to do while everyone else works?" Cadence inquired, seeming a touch miffed.

"Morale, recruitment, even outright propaganda if you have to. They need a reason to work and a cause to fight for," I responded, receiving an even more sour look from the pair.

"And Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. A small 'eep' reminded all that there was another present at this meeting.

"Nothing," I answered simply.

"Really?" Fluttershy asked, sounding relieved.

"If you really want a job, you could keep Dash from doing anything stupid. I want to keep all six of you out of harm's way at all costs, the power of the Elements might be needed before the end. Hell, even after the end. They might be able to undo any damage done by the war," I explained.

"We understand," Twilight affirmed.

"With that all sorted and everypony happy, how would you rate our odds?" Chelly mused.

"Between six and eight percent. Higher if I call on the Horde," I stated flatly. They all went pale; except Luna, she already knew how pessimistic I was about this.

"How much higher?" Chelly pressed, sounding much more concerned now.

"It's a sure thing if we get involved," Harry answered for me.

"But civilian casualties would be a certainty and death would be the kindest outcome for them," Cat added.

"Besides that, you are one of the three people still living who know the sacrifices it took to ensure the Awakenings would end. Would you really ask me to trigger another?" I asked. I kept judgment out of my voice, only showing somberness instead.

"It doesn't matter what I'd ask, you ignore me most of the time anyhow. The question is whether or not you could be pushed that far," Chelly countered quite accurately. 

"I'm backed into a corner, eventually I'll lash out the same as any animal. I hope to keep it from getting to that point," I responded after a long moment.

"You would break your oath?" Chelly confirmed.

"I-" I began. Her mentioning of that particular oath, on top of Fate bringing it up yesterday, stirred an idea, "I think I may have a new idea."

"One thousand years ago one thousand soldiers defended Canterlot for two hundred days and nights. Those thousand soldiers still live," Harry prompted, following the same logic. Celestia's eyes had narrowed to pinpricks.

"My legion," I breathed before steadying myself and speaking more boldly, "Absolutely out of the question."

"You mean to wait for them to attack us then?" Harry asked, sounding disappointed.

"No, we still need to buy time for the construction and thin them out for the army," I countered.

Chelly opened her mouth to ask the obvious question, then closed it and leaned back while adopting a more smug look.

"Could we maybe skip to the part where you pull out this plan you enacted centuries ago to counter something I was doing?" She requested. I leaned back as well and laughed.

"Only if you vow to not pitch a fit about it," I offered.

"Very well, what have you cooked up and what did I do to prompt it?" Chelly asked.

"This one wasn't because of you. Yes, that happens sometimes. You narcissistic bitch. Luna, what am I at my core?" I prompted.

"A pathological opportunist," Luna answered easily.

"Correct. I hold on to every possible thing that could help me, regardless of how useful it is at the time. That's why I've ended up with so many contingency plans. Two days after I killed Belial, I was approached by a Greater Demon under a flag of truce," I began.

"Oh fuck," Harry swore under his breath.


991 Years Ago


"Boss?" Harry asked, concern tinging his voice.

I ignored him in favor of pacing around the room and trying not to scream.

"Boss," he attempted more urgently, finally drawing my attention. 

I was upon him in an instant, gripping his shoulders and staring wide eyed at his much calmer ones.

"What have I done?" I managed shakily.

"Boss, you gotta put that aside. Panic later, there's a big baddie here to swear allegiance," Harry stated with forced calm.

"Eeeeh?" I squeaked, my limbs pulling towards my chest protectively.

"Jekyll, just play the part until Sombra finds a solution. Right now that means acting like an evil bastard," Harry insisted.

"Just pretend, that's maybe a thing," I rambled, getting slapped to aid in my efforts. 

Harry shook his freshly crippled hand painfully, but otherwise ignored the injury, "Are we good now, Boss?"

"Yeah, I'll hold it together. I got it," I promised, wondering how badly I was lying.

"Good, he's in the throne room already. Making him wait sends the right message," Harry replied, "Follow me and be an asshole."

"Let me get that hand at least," I offered, though he simply tore it off at the wrist and ate it. 

"For bothering you," he explained.

"Metal as fuck," I commented.

In the throne room, two demons were patiently waiting. One was a common ripper, the other was one of the Greaters. I'd come to dread dealing with that kind during our journey this far, each was unique and unpredictable.

"What's the lackey for?" I asked.

"The false lord despised hearing my Master speak, I am to be his voice," the ripper answered.

"I have no interest in speaking to an underling. Harry, kill him," I ordered, just playing the part.

After eighteen hours of failing to communicate in any way at all, I had that ripper tracked down and brought back so we could actually talk.

"Help," I begged when the ripper walked in, all pretense beyond my mental abilities at that moment.

"He wants to make a boat," the ripper stated flatly.

I was struck stupid, "That's it? Your full support in exchange for a boat?"

"Yes, a boat of his design and under his control. When we are next unleashed, special consideration must be taken to allow this boat to travel the surface oceans once more," the ripper added.

That got me thinking. To have something like this was a weapon too valuable to squander.

"I'll meet you halfway," I began, taking a moment to choose my next words carefully, "I'll let you have your ship and provide materials, but it will be a navy vessel."

The Greater growled, unhappy.

"My Master is a pirate at heart, he won't accept this," the ripper translated.

"Then you don't get your boat," I replied.

There was a pause before the Greater huffed and nodded.

"Your terms are accepted, King Jekyll. Lord Mephistophalies is at your service," the ripper declared.

"Ilofotoagrefu," the Greater babbled.


Present Day


"You hate pirates though," Luna noted.

"That came later," I countered.

"An underground, landlocked nation has a navy?" Chelly deadpanned.

"One larger than Equestria's," I replied.

"How many ships do you have?" Shining asked, seeing where I was going with this.

"One."

"We have hundreds of ships, how can you claim to have a larger navy?" He rebuffed.

"Because you have a merchant fleet, mine is a dedicated warship. How many warships does Equestria have again?" I countered.

"None, we didn't need them," Chelly replied with a sour expression.

"You never do until you do, which is why I let this guy build his ship. That's step one to this bastardization of my backup plan in case I was exiled from everywhere. Step two is to actually create a functional fleet. Can anyone here tell me what the largest ship class in the merchant fleet is?" I responded.

"No idea," Chelly admitted.

"Two hundred and eighty-one frigates, nothing in galleon class or above, and a bit over four hundred lesser vessels. None are ready for combat," Tzu reported dutifully.

"Frigates are not my ideal ships of the line, but they will serve. Fisto has had plenty of time to prepare and effectively unlimited funding, so he'll be in charge of converting as many frigates as possible. Stage three, preparation. How many docks are there in Baltimore Harbor capable of mooring a frigate?" I pressed.

"Ninety," Tzu answered before anyone else had a chance.

"Then when I set the record for the greatest single act of piracy in history, it will be for stealing ninety ships in a single day," I replied.

"We could just assign them to your demon," Luna pointed out.

"I'm sure you will, and then Fisto will steal them at swordpoint because that's what he does," I countered.

"Mephistophalies is the only being I've encountered more dramatic than King Jekyll. I would rather be left out of this plan if possible," Harry sighed.

"Kinda creeps me out, his succubi aren't right in the head," Cat agreed.

"Why do I know that name?" Chelly mused.

"It's familiar to me as well, yet I can't place it," Luna agreed.

"Probably your parents entertaining guests with the tale of his exploits," I guessed with a shrug.

"Most likely," Chelly allowed, "When do you want the ships moved to the harbor?"

"Today, for refitting tomorrow and deployment the day after," I replied, getting looks of disbelief at the timetable, "Oh, and a few other things. Chelly and Caddy, I want a reporter on deck to document the fight for propaganda purposes. Luna, I need a new hat."

"Why?" Luna asked.


Perspective Change: Chrysalis


“That is a lot of slaves,” I commented, letting just how impressed I was show for a moment. Malphas grinned, evidently proud of this accomplishment.

“You like them? I had their ancestors captured during the last Awakening. I had originally intended to use their meat as a delicacy for political purposes, but Jekyll’s fondness for these weak creatures has inspired me to breed them into a sizable army. Nothing compared to my own cohort, but enough to make him hesitate.” Malphas bragged.

“He’s killed ponies before, they won’t stop him,” I countered.

“True, and so they had remained. A resource without a function. Like iron,” Malphas agreed, continuing before I could say anything about the usefulness of iron, “Perhaps it was providence then, as now I am able to supply you.”

“Perhaps indeed,” I replied, craning my neck to see if I could see the other end of the pen. I could not, there were acres upon acres of hovels and ponies going about whatever tasks they busied themselves with.

“That should be a good first step, but it will not grant you victory,” Malphas cautioned, “What you require is a weapon he fears. You need this.”

I looked over to see Maphas holding something the size of a pony’s torso in his hand. It looked like a lump of brownish gray stone, or maybe an old bone.

“And that is?” I asked.

“The first step along a long road. Do you know how Jekyll took power down here?” Malphas responded.

“Something about him killing the previous king,” I replied with a shrug.

“Damn close. We demons don’t die like you mortals; we regenerate after death. This bone here...Well, you’ll need the full story to appreciate its significance.”


Perspective: Jekyll
991 Years ago


Death’s shield, now boosted by the stalker twins, was starting to fail. Dirge’s arm was looking pretty bad, but he wouldn’t hold still long enough for me to fix it. Harry was busy trying to get the gate open before we were overrun and I was trying to keep everyone alive while he pulled our asses out of the fire.

“Got it!” Harry called as a clang sounded.

“Move. Move. Move,” I shouted unnecessarily as we retreated into the palace and slammed the gate behind us.

“The gods’ damned latch is broken!” Dark, one of the stalkers, cried.

“I’ve got it, you go and get this bastard,” I volunteered as I grabbed the bars.

“That will not be required,” Death countered as the soil under my feet lurched to block the gate and sent me tumbling back, “But it won’t hold for long either.”

“Then we need to do this quickly, get inside,” I ordered as I collected myself and we charged the main doors. They opened easily, granting us some shelter from the horde of enraged rippers we had so narrowly escaped. 

“Damnit, there’s no latch here either,” Dark whined once we had the doors closed.

“Don’t even think about Jay, you don’t get to make the sacrifice play twice in one day. This one is mine,” Dirge declared before I had a chance to speak.

“There will be demons inside the palace as well, I’ll stay to keep them back,” Harry volunteered.

“Jekyll, I think you’ll have to go it alone now. Harry can’t keep them all back by himself, the twins and I would be better served here. We wish you the best of luck,” Death added with a rotten grin, as though he wasn’t worried about me in the slightest.

“All of you? You’re sure you want to do this?” I asked soberly, “At least let me fix what I can.”

“I’m fine,” Dirge argued, his statement punctuated with a bang as the first rippers slammed into the other side of the door, “Go damnit!”

“Go, and end this,” Death added more serenely, still showing off his undead teeth as he whirled to plant himself between Dirge and the entryway. The stalkers moved to either side, dutifully backing up the old lich.

There was nothing more to be said, so I ran. I ran to intercept the palace guards. I ran to put an end to Belial and the Awakening. I ran to stop the demons before my friends were torn apart. I ran, as Death said, to end this.

The first pair of rippers I encountered were beheaded and dusted before they could react. They left my attention before they finished burning. I ran over the next one, crushing his spine in the process. On and on, through the endless hallways. It was several minutes before I realized I was lost.

“Shitfuck,” I swore before picking a direction and sprinting off. 

Found a window, busted out. Found a more important looking window, busted in. Bedroom. Shit. Direction. Go. Window. Better window. No. Direction. Big demon. Direction. Go. Stop. Back up.

“Are you Belial?” I asked the towering demon as I leaned backwards into sight from the open doorway. It would definitely explain the forty foot doors all over the place, he was the only one I’d seen that warranted them. Even the biggest Greaters we’d fought past had only ever been half of this brute’s size.

“Are you the weakling they sent to kill me?” the demon, which I could only assume to be Belial, countered.

“If you’re Belial, then yes,” I replied as I stepped properly into the room.

“Just one this time, eh? I’m almost disappointed. I’ve definitely been bored enough to head back to sleep, be a pal and make this fun,” Belial requested as he used one hoof to slide the furniture out of the way.

“I’ll certainly do my best to make it memorable,” I replied as I took my stance and formed my weapons.

“So serious,” Belial chided before he sighed and took his fighting stance as well, “I almost envy you, to have something to strive for. Right, I suppose we’d better get this started.”

Belial’s surprise kick sent me crashing into a wall before landing in a heap. I hadn’t even scratched the paint with that impact.

“Shame, I killed another one too quickly,” Belial sighed again as he started to turn away.

“Hey!” I called as I straightened my bent limbs as stood once more, “I didn’t hear no fuckin bell.”

“Good,” Belial growled, now smiling, “I think I can actually take you seriously.”

His stance was different now, his center of gravity was lower to the floor on his bent knees and his clawed hands were set to strike from the middle of his chest. It was the complete opposite of my open armed and hunched back stance. 

Again Belial struck first with surprising speed, driving two of his claws through me and lifting me off the ground to throw me across the room. I didn’t allow that to happen, my own claws dug into his finger; allowing me to stubbornly hold on as he tried to shake me off. Contrary to his words, he still wasn’t taking me seriously. 

Belial looked intrigued more than anything when I pulled myself free and clambered onto his wrist. I was little more than a spider stealing his attention as I clung to his skin, my claws seeming to cause him no pain. He didn’t even attempt to dodge my incredibly telegraphed attack as I leapt up and formed my right arm into a blade long enough to actually do some damage to the titanic demon.

He just watched my spin through the air towards his wrist with amusement, at least until I took the hand off and rode it to the floor. Now he was seeing the threat I posed, now he was serious.

Now I was in trouble.

The same hoof from before kicked me off of his severed hand and came down on me over and over as a now angry Belial tried to stomp the life out of me. On the forth stomp my claws were waiting and I took a chunk out of the hoof, on the fifth I was through and pulled myself inside Belial’s leg. He was kicking furiously now and roaring his fury, but I was a little busy eating him alive to care. 

I felt my cozy little buffet hit the ground, which I thought was Belial dropping to his knees until I popped my head out and found him balanced on one hoof with his own severed leg in one hand. I ducked back in and hid behind the bone before his claws could dig me out. I noticed with some alarm that they were on fire now, which meant that they would be very painful if he managed to land a hit. I was pretty well stocked on biomass now and it was a good thing too, I was rapidly running out of leg to hide in.

Shit. Okay, plan. Take out his other leg. He only has one hand to swipe with. Can’t turn for shit. Good. 

I dove out of the leg and rolled across the floor, ending my maneuver behind Belial’s remaining hoof. I cut deep into the leg, but was stopped by something that felt like I’d struck iron with a normal blade. My weapons had never failed to cut anything before, but I couldn’t seem to get through that bone. Thinking back, I’d felt my blade deflect and slip between the bones of Belial’s wrist but had dismissed it as a glancing hit. 

I dove again, this time to avoid those burning claws as they reached for me. I wasn’t quite fast enough and the tip of one burned a trench in my back, drawing out a cry of pain. I faced my enemy now while my wounded back regenerated.

“You are a slippery one, dangerous even to me. That’s the highest praise I’ve ever offered,” Belial commented as we squared off once more.

“I aim to be more than dangerous,” I replied simply.

Belial came at me again, those burning claws promising a painful end. I dodged again, but towards the strike instead of away. I was rolling under his hand when I got an arm underneath myself and launched my feet into the meaty part of Belial’s hand just under his little finger. My clawed toes dug in and I used them as a base to scamper up the arm. If I could burrow into Belial’s head and destroy his brain...he would regenerate and I’d be back at square one. Too late now.

I dove into Belial’s rage filled eye just ahead of his claw, having to hide deep along his optic nerve to remain unharmed. I had no other option, I had to take him down. I could deal with it being permanent in round two. 

I dug deeper, rendered blind by the darkness and the blood. I sent feelers to help guide my way, continuing to crawl until my feelers hit something of a different texture than the rest of the meat. I was inside Belial’s skull, right up against his brain. 

I stopped for a moment. Inside that brain was a wealth of knowledge I could very much use, but it would be a difficult thing to survive him self-immolating while I was in here. Breaking through the skull wasn’t an option; I’d needed the nerve conduit to get in here.

‘If it was a hollow space, then I could ride out the oven with a minimal loss of mass. It would still be incredibly painful, but I could make it,’ I mused mentally. It was really my only option, so I slid between the hemispheres and spread myself out through and among the many many neurons until I was pressed against the sides of the skull from several angles. 

Then I ate Belial’s brain as fast as I possibly could and damn near cooked myself in the resulting firestorm. 

I was still pulling myself from the ash when Belial walked into the room in perfect health.

“You’ve killed me,” he stated flatly.

“Yeah, I did,” I agreed as I attempted a fighting stance that was more defensive. It felt wrong and I knew I wasn’t doing it properly, but it was something.

“Do you have any idea how long it has been since I’ve tasted death?” Belial asked, ignoring my preparations for continued combat.

“Been a while, I’d guess,” I replied as I looked around for anything I could use to replenish myself. There was nothing but some wood furniture that was more work than it was worth and Belial himself. 

“This palace hadn’t even been conceived,” Belial responded before lunging toward me with reckless fury. His claws were too low, he was moving too fast- 

I managed to dodge most of the attack, only one claw caught me. That claw burned me in half however, and my legs were several feet from where my upper body landed. 

“You put up a good fight, but this was decided long before you arrived. You and your compatriots were destined to die the moment you agreed to come here,” Belial stated. He wasn’t mocking or cruel in his tone, he was simply stating a fact as he knew it to be. 

“Still had to try,” I rebuked as he reached out to end my life, “But I’m not done yet.”

Tendrils lashed out, digging into his palm and pulling me into his grip. An instant later, I dove out the back of his hand with a single bone in my grip. Landing on fresh legs, I held it for a second before turning and throwing the bone as far as I could. Belial attacked again, but I dropped and rolled under his strike to collect my lost mass from my old legs and jumped at the King of Demons once more. 

I had him scared now, his regeneration disrupted by the missing bone meant he was as good as mortal. He became more defensive as I cut and tore. I became more offensive at the same time. Two arms became four became twelve. Two legs became eight, all pushing to keep Belial on his back hoof. The more I took him apart the more I fed and the larger I became. It briefly crossed my mind if Belial knew that I was desperate and putting everything I had into this one last attack. 

Belial got a good hit on my side and I faltered for a half second as I regenerated the flesh, but it was enough. Belial was pushing back, taking off parts of me faster than I could take mass from him in return. 

So this was it then, a simple contest to see who would drop first. I could win this. I just needed him to slow down.

There it was, a careless opening as the blood loss finally started to affect the demon. I happily exploited it and raked a single claw across his belly, spilling his guts onto the floor and making him stumble. I pressed before he could recover and slammed my arm in under his impenetrable ribs, bypassing his irritating bones altogether as I tore out his black heart.

Belial looked surprised as he continued stumbling and fell against the wall, no longer having the strength to stand.

“Congratulations, you actually beat me,” Belial offered, he didn’t sound bored or afraid. It sounded like he was more alive now that he was dying than he had before, “My severed head should make the others back down, it’s how I did it with my rivals.”

“Damn decent of you to say that, makes me wonder why,” I inquired suspiciously.

“Because now you’re in worse than if I had killed you. Welcome to my gilded cage,” Belial laughed weakly as blood began to run from his mouth. He died before I could retort, taking the last word with him. I never got to ask him what that was supposed to mean. 

I had his memories, but they were broken, blurry, disjointed things and all out of order. I did manage to glean how he was causing the Awakenings and how he made those portals. I tested his power and regretted it immediately, setting myself on fire was not a pleasant feeling. It was, in fact, the single most painful thing I had ever experienced.

“Fucking ow!” I swore as I looked for a new way to get this body out of here. That much was my obvious next step, all it would take was a random demon wandering in with that knuckle and I’d have to fight Belial a third damn time. His body had to leave Tartarus now.

I needed mass, there were unhealed wounds weakening me. I also needed to drop Belial’s weight. I consumed everything Belial’s agitating corpse would give me, leaving only a pristine skeleton without so much as a scratch from all of the strikes I’d laid upon it. I improvised, using one of Belial’s finger claws to open a portal to the Crystal Kingdom and started shoveling bones through as fast as I could. I kept that finger claw and Belial’s skull on my side when I closed it, I needed both for different reasons.

True to his word, the sight of Belial’s skull made all of the demons attacking my team stand down. Another few seconds and they very easily could have been dead. Both of the stalkers were unconscious at Death’s hooves, the lich himself only now lowering the shield and collapsing. 

“You did it, thank the mountains,” Dirge wheezed from one knee as he jumped on the opportunity to rest against his axe, a new wound across his chest demanding my attention before he could bleed out. 

Harry, seemingly unharmed, nodded with what looked like sadness. He was the first to kneel, followed by the rippers that had been attacking. 

The door clanged open, but no rippers flooded in to kill us. They stopped as soon as they saw the skull on my shoulder. I heard murmuring before they all kneeled as well, like an organic wave moving away from the palace.

“Harry, what’s going on?” I asked quietly once I managed to reunite with my team.

“In Tartarus, might is what makes a king. I’m sorry my friend, I know you didn’t want this. Both of us are forced to play our parts now. ALL HAIL KING JEKYLL!!” Harry apologized before shouting his declaration.

“ALL HAIL KING JEKYLL!!” The demons repeated.

“Fuck,” I swore. Chelly was going to have a field day when she found out about this.


Perspective Change: Unknown
 

Master will like the thing I found, yes. Master will give riches for it, good good. Yes. The bone, Master will like the bone.


Perspective Change: Chrysalis
Present Day


“And that is how I came to acquire this. You will need to find the rest, I only know that they are on the surface,” Malphas concluded.

“How very interesting, yet I’ve never heard of anything like this before. I’ll need some kind of lead or a place to start,” I requested. I liked Malphas’s plan, it would remove Jekyll from Tartarus with little to no risk to myself. It would even give me a new ally.

“I have no leads, not one scrap of information about the other bones. Except one, I know where one other one is,” Malphas hinted. 

Finally, now I just needed to get out of this accursed prison and get that bone.

“Jekyll keeps it either on his person or under extreme guard,” Malphas finished, making my jaw drop as I failed to hide my sheer, all-consuming dismay, “And that would be why.”

“You have got to be kidding me. This is impossible. Why would you even suggest this if it can’t be done?” I demanded.

“I see, then you aren’t as ambitious as I believed. Pity,” Malphas sighed as he turned away. I pretended not to see his smile when I seized that massive knuckle in my magic.

“Just get me out of here, I’ll figure out the rest,” I declared more confidently than I felt. 

“There are exactly two ways out of Tartarus. The Eternal Stairs and the portal inside the palace. The stairs are not an option I would suggest unless you intend to die screaming. An assault on the palace has a marginally higher chance of success, though none have managed to take it since Jekyll took power,” Malphas replied, drowning any optimism I might’ve had.

“You need to work on your ability to give bad news,” I critiqued.

“I find my abilities in that area to be efficient and succinct,” Malphas laughed, reminding me that demons were cruel, wicked things. He was enjoying the repeated blows to my ego. 

“Demons couldn’t take the palace, but I haven’t seen a flying demon here yet,” I pointed out.

“There are three, all of Greater breed like myself. I see where you are going with this thought, perhaps changelings could assail the palace,” Malphas mused, his evil grin vanishing for a moment as he pondered, “Yes, they could bypass the defenses entirely by going through the windows. My brothers wouldn’t fit but changelings are small.”

“Small but more powerful than you think, particularly in large numbers,” I added.

“Yes,” Malphas growled, sounding excited now instead of amused, “Yes. Take what you will from my slaves, give me this drone army and I will give you your freedom in return.”

“Deal,” I declared, now the one wearing the evil grin as I thrust my foreleg out for Malphas to shake. He looked as close to giddy as a demon could likely get as he shook my hoof and sealed our fates to this plan.


Perspective Change: Luna
The Next Day


Hat shopping. If ever there was a more pointless task while preparing to defend a continent, I hadn't heard of it. Then again, it must have been something for the enforcers to refuse to do it. 

I entertained the idea that it was to get me away from Jekyll while he did something I wouldn't approve of, but he was here in Baltimore as well so he couldn't get into too much trouble.

My eye caught a sign that looked promising and I sighed before walking in, at least the populace was too busy to get excited by my presence on the street. Small victories, I supposed.

"Good afternoon miss, I'll be right with you," an elderly earth pony of mottled browns greeted without properly looking up from his work. 

I browsed the shelves for a bit before the stallion audibly stretched with a cracking of joints.

"Alright, how can I…" He began before trailing off.

"I'm looking for a new hat, but I don't know what style I should be searching for. I've tried several other stores and found them less than helpful or very appealing," I requested, hoping to break any stupor before it could set in.

"You don't sound excited about it, would I be correct in assuming this isn't for yourself?" The shopkeep asked.

"Yes, that's right," I confirmed.

"Given the goings on, I do know what you need. Can't say I'm glad to be the one telling the princess this though," He responded, "Old tradition, back in the days of my great grandfather, was that husbands would get a new hat from their wives for good luck before setting sail. What you need is a good naval cap."

"That bastard," I swore quietly before raising my voice again, "Then show me what you have for those."

"Are you sure you don't want me to narrow it down a bit first? Assumed rank would play a factor," he suggested.

I looked at him sideways for a second and he nodded before moving away and vanishing into a back room. 

I used the brief solitude to digest what I'd been told, mentally screaming at Jay for what he was planning to do.

Then the elderly stallion returned with five boxes balanced on his back and I moved to the counter for him to show them off.

I dismissed the first one right away, it was a Celestia themed tricorn with a bit too much gold and white.

"Darker," I offered. The second box was removed unopened.

The third was perfectly round with a narrow brim and a sort of cloth covering for the sides of the head. To be fair, it was darker than the first one. This one was a flat gray.

"I don't know what this one is," I confessed.

"It was popular with the minotaurs a couple years back. It's called a boiler," he explained as he returned it to the case and set it aside as well.

The next one was a jet black cowpony hat with little anchors on the band.

"These are actually very common nowadays for sailors, good sun protection," the stallion noted before setting it aside as well. I didn't even get the chance to refuse it first this time.

The last one was something else. Not great, but different. Long and somewhat pompous, with silver stitching along the rim and a dark blue pegasus primary feather mounted in the band.

"This one is interesting, but I'm not familiar with it either," I admitted.

"It's a cavalier, a favorite of pirates and privateers in the old stories. I didn't make this one, it's been with the store for as long as my family has owned it. Supposedly, this was once owned by Hugo the Red and that feather came from Torn Sail himself," he revealed.

"I can dismiss that myth, I've seen the real hat Hugo wore. It doesn't have a feather in it and it's a tricorn," I corrected.

"Shame, I was hoping to get a good price for it off of that," the shopkeep responded, sounding saddened by this new information.

"I do like this one though, it's the best I've seen so far. Unless you have anything else you think would fit my preferences?" I pressed.

"I have one more I've been working on, but I'm not terribly keen on bringing it out," he admitted.

"Not fit for sale yet?" I guessed.

"No, it could be sold. It has been something of a flight of fancy project, something to work on between orders for fun. It's, ah, ‘you’-themed," he allowed.

"May I see it?" I requested. The old stallion looked embarrassed as he hesitated before nodding and returning to the back room. There was a long moment before he returned with a box the color of my coat.

Inside there was a very nice tricorn in my colors with silver threading across the upturned brim to mark out constellations and various other stars and galaxies.

"This is beautiful," I praised, the abashed stallion looking up and turning redder with every word, "I'm serious, this is wonderful craftsponyship."

"Should I box this one up for sale then?" He mumbled as he tried not to die of embarrassment on the spot.

"And the cavalier, I'll take them both," I replied.

"Okay, ah, so one is antique and the other is custom. There's some room for haggling but twenty-five hundred bits would be the base price," he responded.

"That won't be an issue," I allowed as I brought my purse out from under my wing and removed the correct amount. Bagging my bits in increments of one hundred did make this easier, though there was a decent pile by the time I was done.

The two boxes were pushed my way and I was thanked for my purchase before the stallion hurried away, still red faced.

There were enforcers waiting for me when I stepped outside.

"Would you like us to carry those?" the lead one asked.

"No, thank you. I've got them," I replied, getting a shrug before all six vanished into the crowd of dockworkers and conscripts that filled the street.

It was a long walk back to the dock where I knew Jay would be waiting while the final arrangements were made, time enough for me to decide which hat to give away and which one to keep. At least I thought it would be enough time. Alas, I was still debating with myself about that when I found my husband looking out at the bay while thousands of ponies worked around him.

"You got two," he pointed out without looking.

"Yes, and I know what this gesture means," I replied.

"Good, saves time. Which one did you mean to give me then?" Jay asked.

"I haven't decided," I confessed as I brought both boxes around and opened them. Jay turned to look and tilted his head.

"That big one, whose feather is that in the band?" He asked.

"I have no idea, that's how it already was," I admitted.

"I like them both, but that one adds some presence. Hats have a lot of meaning on the ocean, those given by a spouse even more so. The tricorn would be appropriate for reminding myself and the crew that there are people waiting for us to return. The big one says that I'm in charge and I don't care if that makes me a target, which is what we need more this time. I would like something to add a piece of that first point onto the bigger hat," Jay hinted.

"Like one of my feathers," I concluded, getting a nod, "Seafaring traditions are strange, but I can appreciate this one."

I removed the feather from the band before plucking one of my own primary feathers and getting it into the place of the previous one. As my feather was much larger, this took a bit of effort but was more than stable once in the loops. With the hat finalized, I turned it over to its new owner.

Jay took it carefully before giving it one final look and placing it on his head. It wasn't a great fit and sagged on the back side before he got it snugged into place.

"Perfect," he commented.

"Looks a bit long to me," I noted.

"It'll be fine, I have a grip on it now. Besides, I'm pretty sure this is how these are supposed to be worn," he countered before his appearance changed.

A coat colored to match the hat grew from his shoulders to hang behind him, empty sleeves fluttering as the wind caught them. Calf high black boots with rolled tops encased his feet and leather breeches covered his legs. Somehow he was both noble looking and roguish at once like this.

"I think it's time to ready the navy for war," Jay noted, the sorrow in his voice killing any attempt I could have made to sneak off with him before he had to leave.

"Before you go, I have to know if it's necessary," I stated.

"Fisto is capable as a captain, but he's emotionally attached to his ship. He won't put it in the kind of danger I would, which is what we need to do in order to break the morale of the enemy. I need to be at the wheel of the Bane," Jay offered, "Besides, the other option is to let a lot of demons loose on the surface without supervision."

"An upsettingly good point," I decided.

Jay sighed again, looking very old as he prepared himself for what was to come. The sight of it worried me, what could make Jay this uncomfortable?

"It's time," he declared. Though he hadn't raised his voice, enforcers appeared and jumped to act on predetermined orders. 

I didn't know what to expect, but collapsing part of the harbor was a distinct surprise. It made sense when they finished the job, having formed a particularly large flat wall out of a pier and a warehouse.

I spotted Cataclysm in the hand of one enforcer just before it burst into flames and began cutting a hole in reality. More were there in a fraction of a second to force the wound open.

The first thing to escape the prison was the laughter of its denizens. They sounded insane.

Second was the imp slaves as their bodies were used to both haul a massive metallic object through the breach and cushion it whenever it lurched forward and might have been damaged by hitting the ground. None of them survived once it gained its own momentum and slid into the harbor. It was sideways and on its side, but righted easily enough once in the water.

I first noticed the figure on the mast, who had ridden it skyward without issue when the ship had violently turned right-side up.

Then the rest flowed through, a tide of laughing and singing demons that poured over every other ship in the entire harbor. It took seconds for the existing crews to be thrown overboard, though none seemed to have been killed. At least, none that I could see.

They sang of impending doom at their hands and the bliss of insanity, yet all held a simple rhythm that would make it easy to sing along with. Had they made their own shanties?

The one from the mast looked into my eyes and finally released his hold on his perch, firing himself all the way over to where we stood with only that jump. 

I got a good look now, he was more insectile than expected, with two multi-jointed legs that folded in strange ways and four arms that each ended in three-fingered hands. 

"GreKiJe, hofathse," it babbled.

"Fisto," Jay replied, seemingly not bothered by the gibberish, "It isn't red with spilled blood yet."

The demon laughed again, "Gimeada."

"I'm feeling generous, think you can last a bit longer than that? How about a few weeks?" Jay offered.

"Bythbloreseomepa, dago," the demon gibbered, then looked back at me, "Taonhe. Yoma?"

"Yes, and she doesn't speak verbal shorthand," Jay retorted, sounding more forceful.

"But full words take too long," it complained. This time, I actually saw its sideways mandibles move and what lay within. In retrospect, the gibberish was preferable.

I wasn't fearful, who could be when they had Fang obsessing over their safety? I was simply disgusted.

"Good day, I'm Luna, Princess of Equestria and Queen of Tartarus," I greeted, smothering my revulsion under a diplomatic mask.

"Thelemaspe," the demon replied.

"He said you should learn his speech, I think," Jay translated, "I have to guess."

"I'll make an effort to do so as soon as possible," I agreed, though I was just appeasing the demon.

"Go. Sowayocameshifo?" It asked, looking back at Jay.

"I'm in a bit of a bind and need to thrash an invading navy. An entire navy… of warships… loaded to the gills with soldiers," Jay elaborated teasingly, making the demon shiver with apparent delight.

"Okyohameat, wabdare?" It continued.

"It's a big navy," Jay answered with a shrug.

"Anyowacameshi?"

"That's right, I'm claiming the position," Jay confirmed.

"Shi," the demon stated, his tone making it a curse.

"Complain all you like, but she's my ship until I say otherwise," Jay retorted.

"Leahgetaseyofi," it responded with a shrug of its complicated shoulders.

"Oh, you'll see that and more," Jay promised with a wicked grin, "Go make her ready, we set sail at dawn. The rest as well, arm and staff every ship you see."

The demon only laughed this time before launching himself what was at least two hundred and fifty feet to land on the deck of the ship it had arrived with.

"Explains why Harry didn't want to be involved," I commented.

"Fisto is a piece of work, but he's mostly honest," Jay agreed.

Without the demon stealing my attention, I took a good look at the ship now. 

It was entirely metallic, yet didn't sink. It was also easily four times as large as the next biggest ship in the harbor, with eight masts all boasting four sails at a minimum. Though massive, it didn't appear that the deck was terribly high off the water. It was long and sleek with the forward and rear ends lifting up like a bow missing its string.

"The Belial’s Bane, my flagship," Jay declared as he noticed my stare.

"It's gigantic," I replied.

"Dreadnought class, yes. Do you see the influences from different time periods? So many masts from earth pony ships before the unification? The upswept bow from feudal Gryphonia, back when that existed. Even those hanging blades are from second era Zebra corsairs. You can find something from almost every culture that existed across time before I shut down the incursions," Jay elaborated.

As he pointed them out, I did see the similarities. I also noticed the mostly skinless succubi hanging from the sides like docking pads. Demons were all the same, all that changed was who they answered to.

"I expect to be gone for a considerable amount of time. Tzu will be there to help with everything. Make sure the army is ready by the time the first ships get through, and they will get through," Jay advised.

I nodded silently, the weight of this only now being imposed on my mind. The fate of Equestria hung on my ability to repel our enemies.

I did have Abaddon, which was helpful at least.


Perspective Change: Jekyll
The next morning


"You must be Notepad," I greeted as the unicorn took his first shaky steps onto the less than cooperative deck of my ship.

"Yes sir, I was told to document everything?" He confirmed with a nervous look at all of the demons around, though they were ignoring him.

"That's right, which is why both myself and this ship need you alive," I replied, making him start before he caught my meaning and marginally calmed himself.

"I understand, do you have somewhere I should set up?" He asked.

"You can store your things wherever you like, but I want you using my shadow as sun protection until we come back into port. Except during combat, the big thing there is to keep yourself safe. I'll relay everything to you after it's over," I instructed.

"That allows you to exaggerate the events," he pointed out, making me grin.

"Less than you will when you return to tell of your adventures," I countered.

Notepad paused.

"Well, I suppose state propaganda should have been expected. Never thought I'd be a part of it," he commented.

"I never really expected this ship to touch liquid water, but here we are," I agreed.

"Here we are," he repeated.

Once Notepad was settled in, I left the gunnery deck to make for the bridge. Fisto was there, but standing in for the boson rather than his preferred place on the wheel. Notepad found a shaded spot on my other side and settled in, already scribbling things down.

"Full sail, let the rest find our path by our wake," I ordered.

"Fusa!" Fisto relayed in his way.