At your house, you were making sure ever think was neat for your new soon to be housemate. 'OK everything seems to be in order? just need to do just wait for sunset and her friend.'
of course you know her, how could you forget someone how tried to take complete control of the school with their singing voice. "Sunset," you said with a little stern look as you turn to her,
Sorry to be a bit of a dick about it, but the main character seems perfectly ok with Sunset Shimmer; whilst redeemed, she committed to the same act not much more than a while ago. It just feels as though the character has developed or has double standards, despite obviously disliking Aria a whole bunch.
Will this be developed upon? Or are you going for the anime-esque 'Argument then resolve' plotline?
7480285 Thnx for the advice.
Pretty good for your first story im in fact somewhat hyped for the next part
7481852 I'll see what I can do
everything
? = needs comma here.
delete 'do just'
Sunset
who
Sunset's
a pair of
who
showed them to seating in
to take over the school, but with help
Sunset
? = the
"" not needed
* = Aria ( her name needs adding here)
or
'bed, dresser and closet' don't need capitals.
I do like this story, just a few typo hiccups, nothing to worry about.
Sorry to be a bit of a dick about it, but the main character seems perfectly ok with Sunset Shimmer; whilst redeemed, she committed to the same act not much more than a while ago. It just feels as though the character has developed or has double standards, despite obviously disliking Aria a whole bunch.
Will this be developed upon? Or are you going for the anime-esque 'Argument then resolve' plotline?
I can't wait to see how this plays out.
The Dazzlings are coming back!
9455178
Hat do you mean?
Aria fed up yet? XD