Friend

by fastnbulbous

Stirring of Our Souls

Strands of thread cascaded from her lap and squiggled along the floor beneath. On the table beside her, there were sheets of fabric of all different shapes and colors. A lone lamp lit up the immediate area, but the rest of the dorm room was dark, mere silhouettes the only thing suggesting what else could be in the room. Fluttershy was sitting in a chair directly in the path of the lamp's light, hunched over, with her hooves seeming to move with great precision.

Fluttershy's eyes looked tired, but they still had a look of absolute concentration. With needle in hoof, she carefully wove a thread through two pieces of fabric. One piece was small and had an oblong shape. The other, much larger, piece was predominately a light shade of blue, but there were some spots that had a myriad of different colored cloths sewn on. The whole mass of cloth seemed to be a shapeless mess, with no rhyme or reason to the random bits and extrusions.

With a final stitch, Fluttershy finished attaching the oval shape to the rest of the cloth. She let out a sigh and relaxed her muscles, allowing a small grin to creep onto her face. She proceeded to look to her left, her eyes settling on a large basket full of cotton and wires. Bringing her sewing project with her, she slowly walked over to the basket.

She carefully scooped some cotton up with her hoof, looking at it intently. It felt soft in her hooves, like a fluffy cloud or cotton candy. Fluttershy almost wanted to lie down in the stuff and curl up in its embrace, but she resisted the urge. Instead, she put the cotton down and dragged her sewing project around so that the other side was facing the cotton. Using her mouth, she revealed a small hole in the cloth, and keeping the hole open with her mouth, she began sliding some cotton into it. She was slow at first, but gradually began to speed up as the once deflated clothwork started to take shape. The cotton started to form a large oval, and Fluttershy carefully coaxed some of the cotton into the many flaps of limp cloth. Four equally-sized extrusions, about 2 feet long each, began to take shape, as well as two flatter extrusions on the side of the oval. The limp strands of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple began to inflate at the urging of her hoof, taking shape behind the oval. Finally, Fluttershy massaged a large amount of cotton into the remaining limp cloth. There was a flurry of colors at this point as well, and it began to take shape much like the last group of colors did. The two oblong shapes Fluttershy had stitched on began to make sense, their existence becoming more and more prominent as the cloth around them began to inflate. Finally, she stuck the wires in, bending them and maneuvering them so that they acted as a strong, yet flexible, frame for the intricate design.

All that was left was for Fluttershy to stitch up the hole, and once she finished that, she let her handiwork stand upright on its own so she could admire it from a small distance.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy whispered. "It sure was nice of you to come over."

The mannequin sat motionless.

Fluttershy giggled and stared for a few moments.

"Don't be shy, Rainbow Dash. Let's chat."

With that, Fluttershy dragged the mannequin over to her bed. She carefully bent the wires inside of the exoskeleton in such a way that the mannequin was in a sitting position, and she sat down close next to it. She looked deeply into its eyes. Two pieces of cloth stared blankly back.

"So how was your day?", Fluttershy continued. She looked away for a few seconds, appearing deep in thought.

...

"Oh, I'm happy to hear that." She gave the mannequin a heartfelt smile. "I had a pretty good day myself. I got a 96 percent on my history test today. I also drew a little bit. Do you want to see it?"

...

The words seemed to flow incredibly easy out of Fluttershy's mouth. Usually, her throat would be constricted and her skin burning by this point. The thought of sharing her drawings with another pony was usually strictly off-limits in her mind. The mere thought of talking to another pony was a harrowing one most of the time. But Fluttershy's new friend didn't exhibit the tendencies of other ponies. Her new friend looked on patiently, not in a hurry to be anywhere. Fluttershy could've even sworn she saw a little eagerness in her friend's eyes as she went over to her saddlebags to grab her notebook.

Sitting back down next to the mannequin, she opened the notebook. "Here's the drawing I did today." Fluttershy pointed to a drawing of a landscape, lush with details and alive with birds, squirrels, bunnies, butterflies, and other animals. The scene was realistically drawn, yet it had a whimsical quality to it. The myriad animals seemed to move across the page, going about their daily lives with grace and purpose. An incredible amount of detail had been put into the drawing, from the intricate shading of the leaves to the small hole in a tree where a group of squirrels resided.

For the first time, Fluttershy seemed to look uncertain. "Sorry It's not that good. I tried my best." She felt an odd chill run down her back as she finished the last sentence. Her stomach felt uneasy.

"A-anyways... I mean, anyways, it's getting late. If you want to go home now, feel free..." Fluttershy hit her hoof against her face, perhaps with more force than her hoof intended, but not as much as her brain intended. "I mean, I don't mind either way. It's up to you, of course." She managed a weak smile while looking at the mannequin.

You don't deserve my company.

Fluttershy froze. "Wh-what do you mean?" She inquired, a burning sensation coming to her cheeks.

Sorry, did I not make myself clear enough? What I meant to say was that you're pathetic. Do you think you know me? Think again.

Fluttershy backed up away from the mannequin, now failing to make eye contact. "Please, I just wanted... To be y-your..."

Well, too bad. I'm not going to help you anymore.

"But... Y-you were supposed to be my friend! What's wrong with you?" Fluttershy's voice became more panicked.

What's wrong with you?

Fluttershy looked deep into the eyes of the mannequin, not making a move. The eyes seemed to morph. They kept changing shape, changing to a million different sets of eyes in the span of a few seconds. They turned green, yellow, brown, orange, pink, blue... And finally cyan, their presence reflecting back onto Fluttershy and drilling holes deep into her face.

Lunging, Fluttershy tackled the mannequin onto the bed, her eyes fiery with rage. She started ripping the cloth, causing the cotton to ooze out in a white mess, and she bore her teeth into the mannequin's neck. Unrelentingly, she tore the neck and the face of the mannequin open like a wild animal. She tore the legs off with the brute force of her front hooves working with her back hooves. The brassy wires of one of the legs sprung out and sliced her along the length of one of her front hooves, but she just made a point to smear the oozing blood into the cotton and cloth. Finally, she grabbed what was left of the mangled corpse and threw it across the room.

Then, she collapsed.

Fluttershy lied in a crumpled ball, completely limp. A deafening silence had overtaken the room, not even the distant wind seeming to make noise. It stayed this way for what felt like eternity to Fluttershy, until she finally felt tears trickling down her face. It didn't take long until she was sobbing, her tears mixing in with her blood. Images flashed in her mind of a million different sets of eyes, one after the other, all burrowing into her fragile soul. They all had a story to tell, and they all had unspeakable secrets. Behind each set of eyes, there was an incomprehensible patchwork of threads, wires, and dark spaces. She lied there motionless for the rest of the night, never truly falling asleep, as the loose pieces of cotton around her bed soaked up the blood from her gash.

After a while, the only thing she could feel was a faint tingling in the back of her head, as if something deep in the recesses of her mind was trying to tell her something. It never became more noticeable than a faint buzz to Fluttershy, however, and after some time she managed to force its presence away as her mind meandered through the night and into the early hours of the morning.

Comments

[Emerald Harp]

That was some creepy stuff I just read. Well done. I usually stay away from this type of stuff, but this one caught my eye. It was good.

[Kryssi]

Those are some very juicy descriptions.

[Neal Wolf]

An interesting glance into the mind of our favorite introvert Well done

[Georg]

7427386 I think wove is right here.

Not bad, it just left me a little dry at the end. It could use more scene-setting in the beginning, such as since she took a history test, I'm presuming this is Young Fluttershy, after the fall from Cloudsdale and before MLP, although you have her in a dorm room, which seems a little odd. One of the disadvantages of "Show, don't Tell" is when the reader can't see just exactly what is shown, because the writer can see it so well and thinks everybody else can. Think of it as one of those "End of story" quizes you always got in school after reading a story in English class:
Example: Who/what/when/etc...
What - is Fluttershy doing at the beginning of the story? - Sewing a Rainbow Dash doll.
Why - is she doing that? - She's terribly lonely, and RD is not around to talk to.
Why is RD not there when she's needed? - I don't know.
Why does Fluttershy attack the doll? - She's really angry at RD, because... I don't know.

Better?

[fastnbulbous]

7427386

Thanks for that. I feel a bit silly now, to be honest, but at least asking for help has confirmed this isn't like the godawful fic I wrote two years ago.

7427756

That's a good point, and I can see where you're coming from. My reasoning for Fluttershy attacking the mannequin is that she's mostly mad at herself, rather than Rainbow Dash. She's mad at her inability to talk to other ponies and make friends, and she's mad at herself for becoming so desperate that she makes herself a friend. The mannequin's insults were really Fluttershy projecting her insecurities on herself. As for Rainbow Dash, I imagine she's either attending a different school or "too cool" to hang out with Fluttershy.

Anyways, looking back, I can definitely see that I was too vague, considering I had to explain it in a comment, and I only vaguely hint at these things in the story. Thanks for pointing that out to me.

[RainbowDasher21]

Hmm, a rather interesting story indeed. It seemed rather dark though, that's for sure. Poor Shy....

Are you a Flutterdash fan too by any chance? Whether you are or not doesn't matter. If you haven't already noticed by my story - I'm a Flutterdash fan. Anyhoo, if you have any feedback on how I should make my story better or anything, feel free to tell me. I won't take offence to it.

[Bad Horse]

This is good for 1500 words. Some suggestions:
- Shouldn't have the gore tag.
- Have fluttershy set dash on a sofa, not a bed, because this being fimfiction, that suggested this was going sexual.
- There are a lot of adjectives & adverbs; be careful of re-using emphatic ones like "finally" or "incredibl_", and of ones that don't add anything or aren't justified by the rest of the text, e.g., "
"An incredible amount of detail had been put into the drawing, from the intricate shading of the leaves to the small hole in a tree where a group of squirrels resided."
could be
"Some parts were done in great detail, from the intricate shading of the leaves to the small hole in a tree where a group of squirrels resided. "