Who's Write and Who's Wrong?
“And that’s the whole story,” Yakko finished, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair. The network executive for the HUB sat behind a desk in front of him.
“I’m sorry. Who are you?” he asked. “You just walked into my office, sat down and said ‘that’s the whole story’.”
Yakko frowned. “I did? Oh, we must not have started out with a jumpcut. Then just let me explain.”
One jumpcut later. “And that’s the whole story.”
The exec still looked confused. “So your cartoons looking for work, but no studio will take you?”
“Not exactly,” Yakko grinned. “I’m sure any studio would take us. We’re just lazy.”
The exec suddenly realized something. “Weren’t there three of you?”
Elsewhere in the building Wakko followed a small group of people with a tour guide at the front. The woman stopped at poster on the wall. “And this is a poster for the new upcoming Transformers series the HUB will be making.” Wakko raised his hand as if he were in school. “Uh, yes?”
“Yeah, I’ve been binge watching this thing called ‘Netflix’ and it seems to me like you should really just give up on that Michael Bay fella.”
The tour guide looked confused. “Um, those are the movies, not the show. They’re different.”
Wakko narrowed his eyes. “So your saying Michael Bay isn’t in the building?”
“Yes.”
“Aw.” He turned around and pulled out his sack. From it he pulled a cartoonishly big bomb with a clock on it. He stopped the clock and shoved it in his sack again. “Next time. Next time.
Elsewhere Dot was walking around aimlessly. She stopped at a room with the words “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Writing Staff” over it. She gave the camera a wink. “If you thought it was meta before…”
Inside were three men and four women. They sat around a table, a stack of notes and drawings on before them. “How about…” Meghan McCarthy began. “Twilight discovers a spell to switch minds and accidentally does it with Rarity. Twilight wants to keep it a secret so nobody knows and Spike blabs to who he thinks is Twilight about his love for Rarity.” She looked around for support.
“I dunno,” Dave Polsky said. “Nobody seems to like Spike episodes.”
“What research are you basing this on specifically?” Cindy Morrow asked.
“How about we introduce a new character again?” Amy Keating Rogers suggested.
“We can’t just flood the show with characters,” M. A. Larson added.
“Why not? We flood the show with toys,” Chris Savino said.
“You know what’d make a great toy?” Charlotte Fullerton said.
“Me!” Dot shouted as she jumped onto the middle of the table.
Everyone jumped back in their seats, some falling over. “Who the heck are you?” Larson shouted.
“…and the Warner sister!” Dot introduced herself. She paused and frowned. “Oh, right. Just me here. Sorry, it sounds a lot better with the boys.”
“And what exactly do you want little girl?” Polsky asked. “We’re kind of busy thinking up things for a bunch of technicolor ponies to do.”
“Ponies!” Dot shouted enthusiastically. “I love ponies!”
“I do too!” Wakko added in, suddenly appearing from nowhere.
“And me makes the full monty! Wait, what were we talking about?” Yakko added in from the door. Everyone turned to the door, the writers getting up and dusting themselves off as they saw their boss the network exec walk in behind him. “Hey, sibs. You kind of just left me hanging.”
“We figured you could handle it,” Wakko shrugged.
Yakko grinned at him. “You wanted to blow up Michael Bay, didn’t you?”
“He’s just so awful!” Wakko moaned. “Wait, how do you know about him?”
“After you mentioned it the first time I decided to use my jumpcut to its fullest.”
…Back during that jumpcut…
Yakko sat in front of a TV with the lights dim and his eyes wide. “NO! Walter, you monster! Someday you will meet your just deserts. And Jessie why are you listening to this guy? He’s clearly unstable!”
…Back to the present…
“You’re a Breaking Bad fan?” Wakko asked.
“I thought it was Malcom in the Middle at first.”
“You know Walter does die at the-”
Yakko slapped his hands against his ears. “LALALALALALALA!! NOT LISTENING!!”
Dot turned to Wakko. “Just how much of Netflix have you watched?”
Wakko’s gaze drifted off. “Those have been some long jumpcuts.”
“Will someone please tell me what’s going on!?” McCarthy asked.
The exec cleared his throat. “I suppose it would be proper to introduce yourselves.”
The three lined up in front of the writers. “We’re the Warner Brothers!” Yakko and Wakko announced.
“And the Warner Sister,” Dot added as she jumped into Larson’s hands. “Call me Dot. But call me Dotty and you die.”
“And they’re here why?” Marrow asked.
“Quite simple really,” the exec said. “They’re going to be part of your staff.”
Everyone went slackjawed. “Sir! I really have to argue against this!” Savino pleaded.
The exec waved his hands in dismissal. “It’s already decided. Besides, these guys are comedy legends. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn something from them.” He steadily backed away toward the door as he spoke. “Anyway good luck, and we want a new script by tomorrow morning,” he added in hastily as he shut the door behind them and they heard a click.
All the writers looked at each other and then rushed to the door to try to pry it open but to no avail. They finally gave up and all slumped against the wall. “A new script in ten hours!” Fullerton shouted. “That’s impossible!”
“Done!” Everyone looked up to see the Warners huddled around an old typewriter that hadn’t been there a moment before. Wakko waved the fresh script in the air happily.
“No way you’re that fast,” Polsky said.
Rogers got up and grabbed the script from them, reading it to herself. She flipped through one after the other, a look of confusion growing on her face. “This is the craziest script I’ve ever seen. It reads like a bad fanfic. And could you tell me why you’re in it?”
“How else are we gonna get publicity?” Dot asked with a kissy face and a pair of shades that seemed to appear on her face.
“The show isn’t your soapbox or tool!” Larson shouted grabbing all of them by the scruff and throwing them into the corner. “Just sit there and let the adults do their job.”
“That being writing for technicolor horses,” Polsky added.
“Shut up, man,” Larson hissed at him. They all went back to their seats and began to brainstorm as if the Warners weren’t even there.
Yakko looked to the camera and pointed over his shoulder at the writers. “Our new special friends.”
“What if we have a Celestia focused episode?” Fullerton asked.
“How are we going to come up with twenty two minutes of story for a character that’s had thousands of years of history?” McCarthy asked completely serious.
Wakko appeared at her side and pointed to a crude drawing on the table. “Hey, what’s that?”
“That’s a story board,” she answered.
“What’s it do?”
“It helps the animators to know the desired flow of the story,” she answered less enthusiastically.
“Why?”
“So the show can look how we envisioned it to look.”
“Why?”
“So it’ll be good!”
“Why?”
“So all the my little pony fans out there will be happy!!”
“Why?”
She turned to Wakko with an annoyed expression. “Oh no! I’m not falling into this trap! Oldest trick in the book!”
Wakko looked offended. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You keep on asking why and I keep answering until it drives me crazy!”
“And why do you think that?”
“GRAAAH!!”
Larson was focused on a script before him as Dot jumped and threw herself into his arms. “Say Ma…”
“Actually it’s Mitchell.”
“Then why do you pronounce it M-A?”
“It’s not… What do you want?”
“Word on the street says you’re the boy I need to go to if I want a nice dramatic scene.” She accentuated her words by swooning in his arms.
“I told you we’re not putting you in the story!”
“Aw, come on! You seriously don’t want something this cute on a show about ponies?” Her lips began to tremble and her eyes became as big as dinner plates.
“Aw!” Savino said from next to him.
“Chris!”
“What? She’s the cute one! The impossibly cute one!”
Marrow and Fullerton were debating with each other. “I’m just saying, why can’t we make a meaningful Spike episode?” Marrow asked.
“And I’m not debating that,” Fullerton replied. “It’s just that there are so many other side characters that don’t get the screen time. We give more to Spike and the fans will be pounding at our door for a Ditzy episode.”
“Ladies, Ladies,” Yakko interjected. “Side characters are well and good but you’ve got to keep your protagonists at the front or they’ll walk all over you. Trust me, I know.”
“Oh,” Marrow said. “And what exactly do you know about character dynamics? You’re a comedy writer, right? You’ll never get the intricacies that come with character development.”
Yakko put his hand to his head. “Alas, you’re right. For we are but mere cartoon characters. Stuck in the same age and expression with which we were created. Conceived to do none but prance and bewilder those we come across.” The lights went out and a spotlight came on him. Marrow and Fullerton looked around in confusion as flower petals began to blow in the wind. “Would that I could give up this hollow existence and become that which is real. Perhaps a hero in some summer blockbuster or an anime protagonist… On second thought scratch the anime. Way too much emotion. Yet still, I would gladly give all of myself for one iota of continuity.” Swelling music began to play in the background. “That little spec of plot that says: I was here! I mattered! I achieved something! I have grown! Yes! We shall not go quietly into the night! For today we celebrate… our continuity!”
The lights came back on and the room was silent. “Or I could just be a kid forever and do cool things like this.” He reached in his pant pocket and pulled out an animating desk. He sat in it and began to draw fervently until he had a stack of sheets. He held them out to the two and began to flip the pages like a flip book as it showed a hand drawn version of Wakko belch and then jump off the page into Fullerton’s arms. Yakko quickly followed suit and jumped into Marrow’s. “HELLOOOOO NURSE!” they both chorused.
An hour passed like this and Polsky finally threw up his hands in defeat. “Enough! I’ve had enough of this!”
“I agree,” Rogers said slumped over. “I can’t take this anymore. I can’t think!”
The three lined up by the door in a flash and smiled widely. “So you’ll try our script?” Dot asked.
They all looked to Larson who threw up his hands too. “Fine! If it gets us home any quicker!”
Meanwhile in a magical land called Equestria…
Celestia froze as she walked down the hall. The same feeling from before hitting her. Luna was beside her and stopped as well. “Sister?”
Celestia couldn’t help but furrow her brow. “I just don’t know why but I am in the worst of moods.”
“Was it something you ate?”
“No.”
“…Maybe you just need a date.”
She gave her little sister a glare. “Let’s just get this day over with. I have a feeling it’s going to get much worse from here.”
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But M. A. Larson stopped being officially part of the writing staff after season five...
Is he there just to chill and smoke weed?
How dare you Larson not know who Dot is, how dare you?
All the Netflix!
It's official, The Warners can bend time and space.
Or sixty plus.
~Leonzilla
Your right Celestia, it's not going to be a good day. It'll be an even crazier and wackiest day.
No, THIS is bad fanfic!
Oscarfics
I'm losing it so bad right now. In a good way.
Oh Larson... you drunk fool, you... you have no idea what horrors you've brought upon yourself.
ih0.redbubble.net/image.195585400.9534/flat,550x550,075,f.u2.jpg
7401583 No! Bad! We do NOT spread that! You want him to be reawakened Freddy Vs Jason style?!
Though joking aside, it's not nice to expose those to Oscar who don't know about him.
Wakko you are my spirit animal