Active and openly amateur, but still playing the game. "If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn." Ray Bradbury
When opportunity calls (or shouts) sometimes you can’t refuse. Because sometimes, opportunity has some anger issues and is threatening to fire you.
With her job and reputation on the line, Coco is forced to risk the life Rarity helped her achieve in the hope of earning a better one. Or at least one that doesn't involve unemployment.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nc moondancer fic
I was afraid at first that this would be a story that takes itself rather too seriously for me to enjoy, mainly due to how it was written, but I'm very pleasantly surprised. You did a great job with this. It presents a scene and develops it, though not to its conclusion, still in an interesting way to read through, which is actually the kind of story I favor reading myself. xD
You did a bang up job with the OCs, well, mostly that Period. I love it. You manage to define him well and memorably with just the first scene, and incorporate that in something that happens in the end, which is great story writing. And overall the dialog and funny moments were pretty well integrated into the story, even if they ultimately didn't always have a point, like the Hornmin thing. They still get a decent laugh, I guess.
Really, I have nothing but praises to you for now. I wouldn't be as nitpicky as to get on typos, and frankly that's all I can think to say that was wrong. Just, good job, and keep up the good work~
Nice story. I'm not exactly a fan of Suri, but you wrote her pretty well here.
You mean... like a bluetooth headset? Hahaha, that's awesome.
Talk about fore-
-shadowing.
You have nice pros, just like your big bro. (yes I hope I'm embarrassing you
)
Throughout the first half, I don't know if it's just my sense of humor, but I felt like this needed a comedy tag. That part about "the Hornrims" really cracked my up for some reason, along with other parts. But the second half stays more true to it's solely "Slice of Life" tag (though maaaaybe it could use a drama tag).
But to sum it up, it was a nice read. Keep shelling them out.
7268539
Thanks for stopping by Jet Chicken!
Glad to hear I'm not a total hack. Can't steal all my brothers readers if that was the case!
*twist evil mustache
I wasn't sure how that would land with people, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Period and Hornrim reminded me of Varrick and Julie from the Legend of Korra, and I always thought the legion of brainwashed Julies (that never really get rescued or presumably see their actual families again) from the original series was pretty hilarious. And thus, the Hornrims were born, and you know, enslaved I guess! 
7268144
Tell me more! 
Oh Aliu! You're gonna make me blush.
Shameless ego stroking aside, thanks for writing this. I've been guilty of being far to serious for my subject matters in the past, so I am glad I was able to find a decent balance here.
Honestly, the biggest critique I have for myself is that it's suppose to be a Coco story, and for me at least, Period runs off carrying the best section on his shoulders, and I'm not sure I ever cornered the bastard and wrestled it back from him.
All in all, I had fun writing, and I'm glad you had fun reading. I'm working on my next little number right now. Look forward to it!
7275981
Huh... now that you've brought that to mind the idea of the Hornrims suddenly has a darker element. You really are your brother's... brother ain't ya?
Wow, Coco is WAY too soft, but I am glad they are gonna be friends. A good read.