• Published 13th Jul 2017
  • 2,850 Views, 86 Comments

This Can't Be Legal - MareDoVVell

Sunset's struggle to protect her sanity and Twilight's innocence from the only slightly evil machinations of Adagio Dazzle

  • ...

The New Roommate

Sunset Shimmer sat hunched over her desk, her face practically pressed to the pages of the enormous tome spread before her. She squinted heavily as her eyes tracked back and forth across line upon line of near indecipherable legalese, and the end of a pen was clenched tightly between her teeth. After a few hour-like minutes, her eyes widened as they landed on a passage that looked promising. Feverishly she began going through each sentence, the pen falling from her mouth as she struggled to extract meaning from the archaic wording. About halfway through the paragraph she groaned and slumped forward, her head landing heavily against the page with a muffled thump.

"This is fucking impossible!" She whined to the empty room. "Why does this country have to make it so hard for an interdimensional magic horse to go to college!" she groused, finally sitting up and grudgingly shutting the well-worn law book. Graduation had only been a few months ago, and while she had planned on taking a year off to figure out how to get into college, the lack of headway she had been making in that department was already becoming frustrating. She was beginning to think without things like a Social Security Number or Proof of Citizenship, it might just be impossible. Even if she tried to masquerade as a foreigner, she needed proof she was from whatever country she might claim to be from.

Letting out a sigh, Sunset pulled open one of her desk drawers and pulled out a crumpled paper box. She stood up from her chair and headed towards the balcony, taking a moment to admire the rather barren apartment around her. Her old apartment had been a complete dump even though she had barely been able to afford it. Luckily, Princess Twilight had sent along a generous bag of bits and gemstones as a graduation present for her. She had briefly considered sending them back through the portal, but then she had remembered just how much raw gold and perfect cut gems were worth on this side of the portal. Now she was the proud owner of a spacious apartment in a much nicer part of town.

Reaching the sliding glass door, Sunset gracefully slipped out into the cool night air, taking a deep breath of the smells of late summer and smiling to herself. Opening the little paper box, she extracted a cigarette and lighter before slipping it back into her pocket. She lit the cigarette and took a long drag before exhaling and sighing happily. A moment later a frown crinkled across her face. "I should really try to quit, this is a lot less fun when there's nobody around to give me a hard time about it," she muttered before taking another drag. Shrugging she leaned onto the railing and looked down on the quiet streets below, humming happily to herself.

Just as she was about finished with her smoke break, there was a loud banging at the front door to the apartment. "Who the hell could that be this late?" Sunset wondered aloud to herself, glancing at her watch. Twilight was supposed to stop by sometime tonight, but she had her own key. Sunset stared back into the apartment at the front door until another knock snapped her out of her wonderings. Not wanting to be rude, she flicked the smoldering cigarette off the balcony and stepped back through the balcony door, rushing across the room to the front door. "Just a second! The lock is a bit sticky!" She called as she fiddled with the deadbolt for a moment and finally yanked open the door.

As the door swung open, Sunset's expression rapidly changed from a warm smile to a look of pure bewilderment. "W-what are you doing here?" she managed to croak just before she was wrapped up in a friendly hug, a mass of orange and yellow hair completely eclipsing her vision.

"Sunnyyyyyyyy, hiiiiiiiiii, how ya been?" Adagio Dazzle asked coyly as she released Sunset and took a step back, her trademark smug grin as bright as it had been when Sunset had first met the siren. Before Sunset could say another word, Adagio breezed past her and into the living room, dragging a large suitcase behind her. "Oh my, this place is just perfect isn't it? Though it could use some decorating. Which way is my room?"

"Your...r-room...?" Sunset sputtered, her brain still too busy processing the situation to form coherent sentences.

"Yes silly, it is a two-bedroom right?" Adagio asked, giving her a confused look.

"Adagio what are you doing here?" an increasingly frazzled Sunset finally managed to spit out.

Adagio simply arched a brow at her and pulled a folded piece of paper from a pocket before showing it to her. "The Canterlotlist ad? 'Looking for a Roommate, 18-23, female preferred'? Ring any bells?"

Sunset took the printed ad from her and gaped at it for a moment. "I completely forgot I posted this, no one my age could afford the rent I was asking and I never got around to changing it..." she muttered, re-reading her own words. She had originally only posted it because she was worried a single teenager occupying such an expensive apartment would look suspicious, but then she realized none of her neighbors seemed to even pay much attention to her, and she had forgotten the whole thing.

"Oh don't get me wrong, I won't be paying any rent." Adagio said with a small chuckle, one hand resting cockily on her hip.

"And why exactly would I not charge you rent, provided I even decided to let you live here?" Sunset asked, her eyes narrowing with annoyance and suspicion as she glanced up from the ad at Adagio.

"Because even if my sisters and I may have somewhat deserved it at the time, you and your friends took everything from us." Adagio said matter-of-factly, a slight frown creasing her normally arrogant expression. "We were immortal, and we had the means and the know how to sustain ourselves. You took all that, now we're just normal 20-somethings who are abnormally ill-equipped to handle this life. We've been through a lot since you last saw us, but we've been working at it, and all without being...'evil'." she said, making finger quotes around the word. "I think the least you could do after all that is help me out a bit, besides I know you already own this place, it's not like it costs you anything to let me live here if I pay my share of the utilities."

Sunset knew that Adagio was being rather manipulative, but at the same time she knew just as well that she wasn't exactly wrong either. She had spent more than a few nights lying awake, wondering if letting the three sirens just run off and never checking on them had been the right thing to do or not. Sunset frowned before letting her shoulders slump before pressing her hand to her face. "Ugh, fine...as long as you promise this isn't some kind of trick, and you'll stay out of trouble."

"I swear!" Adagio said, placing her hand to her heart in an exaggerated fashion.

"That goes for all three of you by the way." Sunset grumbled. "Where are Aria and Sonata anyways?"

"Hmm? Oh, don't worry, those two aren't living here, just me." Adagio said, waving a hand dismissively. "They have a place a few blocks from here. I was going to live there with them but frankly it's a bit cramped for three, and then I found out about your rather opportune situation. It just seemed to be the perfect coincidence." She bubbled, before deflating a little. "Not to mention none of the other renters out there would even talk to me, it seems plenty of people still remember what we did."

"I guess that makes sense." Sunset admitted, rubbing her chin. "Alright, fine, like I said, you can stay, at least until you can afford your own place, but please don't make me regret this Adagio." She added with a weary sigh as she finally collected herself enough to remember to close the front door. "The empty room is down the hall on the left, there's already a spare bed in there, my room is across the hall, and the bathroom is straight down the middle." She explained, numbly reciting the layout of the apartment.

Adagio let out an excited cheer while throwing her arms in the air, before again ambushing Sunset with a hug, though this one was considerably stronger, and Sunset had to concentrate very hard to ignore the the press of Adagio's chest against her own. "You won't regret it, I promise." Adagio purred, before letting go and grabbing her suitcase and making a beeline for the aforementioned bedroom.

Sunset sighed to herself yet again before turning back to face the inside of her formerly spacious apartment, just in time to spend a bit too much time watching Adagio's hips swing back and forth before the girl disappeared into the bedroom. "...and I'm already regretting it." Sunset mumbled, trying to ignore the slight heat on her face.

Sunset was startled from her thoughts by a second knock on the door and she spun back to face it, giving the painted surface a curious frown. "Sure, more surprises, why not." Sunset said, ignoring the urge to turn the lock rather than grab the handle. As the door fully opened however, Sunset was washed over with relief.

"Hey Sunset!" Twilight said happily, giving a small wave. "May I come in?"

Sunset smirked and rolled her eyes. "Y'know when I gave you a key Twi, the implication was you can let yourself in, you don't need to knock or ask permission."

Twilight deflated a little at the casual admonishment, but then stepped forward and walked past Sunset into the living room. "I know...it just seems so impolite..." She said sheepishly, nervously pressing her pointer fingers together.

Sunset merely laughed, closing the door and heading for a couch. "You're my best friend you dork, the whole reason I even got a 2 bedroom place was because I thought we were gonna be roommates...though I probably should have checked that you weren't going to go to a college on the other side of the city first."

Twilight waved a hand dismissively as she took a chair opposite the couch and facing the bedroom hallway. "Don't worry about it, the dorms aren't so bad, and once I can afford a car I could probably still move in here." she pointed out optimistically.

Sunset cringed at that, a grimace crossing her face. "I...um...I'm not really so sure about that anymore Twi..."

Twilight's eyes widened in shock, much more than Sunset would have expected at such relatively mundane news.

"I-i-it's not that I don't want you to live with me, cuz I really really do!" Sunset scrambled, "it's just that I sort of...have a roommate now." she admitted nervously, looking anywhere but at her friend as she waited for a response. Several seconds passed in silence however, and Sunset finally glanced up.

Twilight was still staring in shock, not at her, but down the hallway, and her face was red with embarrassment. "Sunset why is there a naked lady in your hallway?" she squeaked before descending into a nervous babble. "I already know you swing that way is that what they call it i'm sure I've heard that expression before but anyways I didn't expect to walk in on something but then again I did knock and you told me to come in well not so much told me as scolded me for not coming in but that's beside the point why are her legs so long I've never seen legs so long is that normal are my legs just abnormally short I should start taking averages how long are your legs Suns..."

As Twilight kept talking, Sunset leaned across her couch to peer down the hallway just in time to see a stark naked Adagio, towel in hand, reaching for the bathroom door. "Oh come on!" Sunset yelled, "you moved in maybe 15 minutes ago and you're already walking around naked!"

Adagio spun around, seemingly unconcerned at being spotted, and already grinning as she saw Sunset glaring at her from around the corner. "I figured you might enjoy the show." she teased, beginning to saunter towards the living room. "oh and it seems we have a guest as well." she added as she noticed Twilight, who was still wrapped up talking to herself. "You look like that Equestrian Princess that helped stop my fellow sirens and I, but smaller, nerdier...in a cute way." she muttered as she appraised Twilight predatorially. Twilight didn't seem to notice.

"NO!" Sunset shouted, jumping between Adagio and her prey. "Bad siren!"

Adagio yelped as a rolled up magazine smacked her in the shoulder.

"Either put some pants on or get in the shower!" Sunset commanded, "and we'll be having a talk later about appropriate clothing in shared spaces." she added menacingly.

Adagio simply rolled her eyes, her expression curling into a sultry grin. "Fine, but hold onto that magazine for later so I can show you how to use it properly, you're aiming for the wrong spots." With a girlish giggle, Adagio turned and strode off to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Sunset released a relieved sigh, falling back onto the couch and using the magazine to fan herself for a moment before looking back at Twilight. "You run out of steam yet?" she asked, arching a brow at her unusually subdued friend.

"Yes..." Twilight admitted guiltily, "somewhere around experimental formulae for hair care products...care to explain, because I could probably keep going."

Sunset chewed her lip as she tried to collect her thoughts as best she could. "So that's Adagio Dazzle, formerly an evil magical water serpent thing from Equestria...and now apparently my kinda slutty roommate..."

"Kinda slutty?" Twilight asked with a skeptical grin. She may have been distracted, but she hadn't missed Sunset's exchange with the girl.

"I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt..."

Author's Note:

I know I should be working on further chapters of Principal of Equestria but I really wanted to write something with Adagio in it, especially since I wanna practice writing her before she maybe shows up in that story as well...we'll see how it goes.

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