This Can't Be Legal

by MareDoVVell

First published

Sunset's struggle to protect her sanity and Twilight's innocence from the only slightly evil machinations of Adagio Dazzle

High School is over and Sunset Shimmer is embroiled in the most ironically difficult and stressful task ever set before her...illegally faking her way into law school. It's a terrifying prospect, but one she might just pull off with the help of her best friend, Twilight Sparkle.

Of course a much bigger problem is the siren that has taken up residence in Sunset's spare bedroom.

The New Roommate

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Sunset Shimmer sat hunched over her desk, her face practically pressed to the pages of the enormous tome spread before her. She squinted heavily as her eyes tracked back and forth across line upon line of near indecipherable legalese, and the end of a pen was clenched tightly between her teeth. After a few hour-like minutes, her eyes widened as they landed on a passage that looked promising. Feverishly she began going through each sentence, the pen falling from her mouth as she struggled to extract meaning from the archaic wording. About halfway through the paragraph she groaned and slumped forward, her head landing heavily against the page with a muffled thump.

"This is fucking impossible!" She whined to the empty room. "Why does this country have to make it so hard for an interdimensional magic horse to go to college!" she groused, finally sitting up and grudgingly shutting the well-worn law book. Graduation had only been a few months ago, and while she had planned on taking a year off to figure out how to get into college, the lack of headway she had been making in that department was already becoming frustrating. She was beginning to think without things like a Social Security Number or Proof of Citizenship, it might just be impossible. Even if she tried to masquerade as a foreigner, she needed proof she was from whatever country she might claim to be from.

Letting out a sigh, Sunset pulled open one of her desk drawers and pulled out a crumpled paper box. She stood up from her chair and headed towards the balcony, taking a moment to admire the rather barren apartment around her. Her old apartment had been a complete dump even though she had barely been able to afford it. Luckily, Princess Twilight had sent along a generous bag of bits and gemstones as a graduation present for her. She had briefly considered sending them back through the portal, but then she had remembered just how much raw gold and perfect cut gems were worth on this side of the portal. Now she was the proud owner of a spacious apartment in a much nicer part of town.

Reaching the sliding glass door, Sunset gracefully slipped out into the cool night air, taking a deep breath of the smells of late summer and smiling to herself. Opening the little paper box, she extracted a cigarette and lighter before slipping it back into her pocket. She lit the cigarette and took a long drag before exhaling and sighing happily. A moment later a frown crinkled across her face. "I should really try to quit, this is a lot less fun when there's nobody around to give me a hard time about it," she muttered before taking another drag. Shrugging she leaned onto the railing and looked down on the quiet streets below, humming happily to herself.

Just as she was about finished with her smoke break, there was a loud banging at the front door to the apartment. "Who the hell could that be this late?" Sunset wondered aloud to herself, glancing at her watch. Twilight was supposed to stop by sometime tonight, but she had her own key. Sunset stared back into the apartment at the front door until another knock snapped her out of her wonderings. Not wanting to be rude, she flicked the smoldering cigarette off the balcony and stepped back through the balcony door, rushing across the room to the front door. "Just a second! The lock is a bit sticky!" She called as she fiddled with the deadbolt for a moment and finally yanked open the door.

As the door swung open, Sunset's expression rapidly changed from a warm smile to a look of pure bewilderment. "W-what are you doing here?" she managed to croak just before she was wrapped up in a friendly hug, a mass of orange and yellow hair completely eclipsing her vision.

"Sunnyyyyyyyy, hiiiiiiiiii, how ya been?" Adagio Dazzle asked coyly as she released Sunset and took a step back, her trademark smug grin as bright as it had been when Sunset had first met the siren. Before Sunset could say another word, Adagio breezed past her and into the living room, dragging a large suitcase behind her. "Oh my, this place is just perfect isn't it? Though it could use some decorating. Which way is my room?"

"Your...r-room...?" Sunset sputtered, her brain still too busy processing the situation to form coherent sentences.

"Yes silly, it is a two-bedroom right?" Adagio asked, giving her a confused look.

"Adagio what are you doing here?" an increasingly frazzled Sunset finally managed to spit out.

Adagio simply arched a brow at her and pulled a folded piece of paper from a pocket before showing it to her. "The Canterlotlist ad? 'Looking for a Roommate, 18-23, female preferred'? Ring any bells?"

Sunset took the printed ad from her and gaped at it for a moment. "I completely forgot I posted this, no one my age could afford the rent I was asking and I never got around to changing it..." she muttered, re-reading her own words. She had originally only posted it because she was worried a single teenager occupying such an expensive apartment would look suspicious, but then she realized none of her neighbors seemed to even pay much attention to her, and she had forgotten the whole thing.

"Oh don't get me wrong, I won't be paying any rent." Adagio said with a small chuckle, one hand resting cockily on her hip.

"And why exactly would I not charge you rent, provided I even decided to let you live here?" Sunset asked, her eyes narrowing with annoyance and suspicion as she glanced up from the ad at Adagio.

"Because even if my sisters and I may have somewhat deserved it at the time, you and your friends took everything from us." Adagio said matter-of-factly, a slight frown creasing her normally arrogant expression. "We were immortal, and we had the means and the know how to sustain ourselves. You took all that, now we're just normal 20-somethings who are abnormally ill-equipped to handle this life. We've been through a lot since you last saw us, but we've been working at it, and all without being...'evil'." she said, making finger quotes around the word. "I think the least you could do after all that is help me out a bit, besides I know you already own this place, it's not like it costs you anything to let me live here if I pay my share of the utilities."

Sunset knew that Adagio was being rather manipulative, but at the same time she knew just as well that she wasn't exactly wrong either. She had spent more than a few nights lying awake, wondering if letting the three sirens just run off and never checking on them had been the right thing to do or not. Sunset frowned before letting her shoulders slump before pressing her hand to her face. "Ugh, fine...as long as you promise this isn't some kind of trick, and you'll stay out of trouble."

"I swear!" Adagio said, placing her hand to her heart in an exaggerated fashion.

"That goes for all three of you by the way." Sunset grumbled. "Where are Aria and Sonata anyways?"

"Hmm? Oh, don't worry, those two aren't living here, just me." Adagio said, waving a hand dismissively. "They have a place a few blocks from here. I was going to live there with them but frankly it's a bit cramped for three, and then I found out about your rather opportune situation. It just seemed to be the perfect coincidence." She bubbled, before deflating a little. "Not to mention none of the other renters out there would even talk to me, it seems plenty of people still remember what we did."

"I guess that makes sense." Sunset admitted, rubbing her chin. "Alright, fine, like I said, you can stay, at least until you can afford your own place, but please don't make me regret this Adagio." She added with a weary sigh as she finally collected herself enough to remember to close the front door. "The empty room is down the hall on the left, there's already a spare bed in there, my room is across the hall, and the bathroom is straight down the middle." She explained, numbly reciting the layout of the apartment.

Adagio let out an excited cheer while throwing her arms in the air, before again ambushing Sunset with a hug, though this one was considerably stronger, and Sunset had to concentrate very hard to ignore the the press of Adagio's chest against her own. "You won't regret it, I promise." Adagio purred, before letting go and grabbing her suitcase and making a beeline for the aforementioned bedroom.

Sunset sighed to herself yet again before turning back to face the inside of her formerly spacious apartment, just in time to spend a bit too much time watching Adagio's hips swing back and forth before the girl disappeared into the bedroom. "...and I'm already regretting it." Sunset mumbled, trying to ignore the slight heat on her face.

Sunset was startled from her thoughts by a second knock on the door and she spun back to face it, giving the painted surface a curious frown. "Sure, more surprises, why not." Sunset said, ignoring the urge to turn the lock rather than grab the handle. As the door fully opened however, Sunset was washed over with relief.

"Hey Sunset!" Twilight said happily, giving a small wave. "May I come in?"

Sunset smirked and rolled her eyes. "Y'know when I gave you a key Twi, the implication was you can let yourself in, you don't need to knock or ask permission."

Twilight deflated a little at the casual admonishment, but then stepped forward and walked past Sunset into the living room. "I know...it just seems so impolite..." She said sheepishly, nervously pressing her pointer fingers together.

Sunset merely laughed, closing the door and heading for a couch. "You're my best friend you dork, the whole reason I even got a 2 bedroom place was because I thought we were gonna be roommates...though I probably should have checked that you weren't going to go to a college on the other side of the city first."

Twilight waved a hand dismissively as she took a chair opposite the couch and facing the bedroom hallway. "Don't worry about it, the dorms aren't so bad, and once I can afford a car I could probably still move in here." she pointed out optimistically.

Sunset cringed at that, a grimace crossing her face. "I...um...I'm not really so sure about that anymore Twi..."

Twilight's eyes widened in shock, much more than Sunset would have expected at such relatively mundane news.

"I-i-it's not that I don't want you to live with me, cuz I really really do!" Sunset scrambled, "it's just that I sort of...have a roommate now." she admitted nervously, looking anywhere but at her friend as she waited for a response. Several seconds passed in silence however, and Sunset finally glanced up.

Twilight was still staring in shock, not at her, but down the hallway, and her face was red with embarrassment. "Sunset why is there a naked lady in your hallway?" she squeaked before descending into a nervous babble. "I already know you swing that way is that what they call it i'm sure I've heard that expression before but anyways I didn't expect to walk in on something but then again I did knock and you told me to come in well not so much told me as scolded me for not coming in but that's beside the point why are her legs so long I've never seen legs so long is that normal are my legs just abnormally short I should start taking averages how long are your legs Suns..."

As Twilight kept talking, Sunset leaned across her couch to peer down the hallway just in time to see a stark naked Adagio, towel in hand, reaching for the bathroom door. "Oh come on!" Sunset yelled, "you moved in maybe 15 minutes ago and you're already walking around naked!"

Adagio spun around, seemingly unconcerned at being spotted, and already grinning as she saw Sunset glaring at her from around the corner. "I figured you might enjoy the show." she teased, beginning to saunter towards the living room. "oh and it seems we have a guest as well." she added as she noticed Twilight, who was still wrapped up talking to herself. "You look like that Equestrian Princess that helped stop my fellow sirens and I, but smaller, nerdier...in a cute way." she muttered as she appraised Twilight predatorially. Twilight didn't seem to notice.

"NO!" Sunset shouted, jumping between Adagio and her prey. "Bad siren!"

Adagio yelped as a rolled up magazine smacked her in the shoulder.

"Either put some pants on or get in the shower!" Sunset commanded, "and we'll be having a talk later about appropriate clothing in shared spaces." she added menacingly.

Adagio simply rolled her eyes, her expression curling into a sultry grin. "Fine, but hold onto that magazine for later so I can show you how to use it properly, you're aiming for the wrong spots." With a girlish giggle, Adagio turned and strode off to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Sunset released a relieved sigh, falling back onto the couch and using the magazine to fan herself for a moment before looking back at Twilight. "You run out of steam yet?" she asked, arching a brow at her unusually subdued friend.

"Yes..." Twilight admitted guiltily, "somewhere around experimental formulae for hair care products...care to explain, because I could probably keep going."

Sunset chewed her lip as she tried to collect her thoughts as best she could. "So that's Adagio Dazzle, formerly an evil magical water serpent thing from Equestria...and now apparently my kinda slutty roommate..."

"Kinda slutty?" Twilight asked with a skeptical grin. She may have been distracted, but she hadn't missed Sunset's exchange with the girl.

"I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt..."

Dawn of the Second Day

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Clad in a tank top and pajama pants, Sunset staggered out onto her balcony like a particularly sleepy zombie, complete with a gasping moan of "Neeeeeed Nicotine!"

Slumping haphazardly against the railing, she squinted in concentration as she dug around in the little box in her hand, finally pulling out a lightly bent cigarette and raising it to her lips, before setting fire to the tip and inhaling like a drowning victim hauled back to land.

"Sweet Celestia that's good..." she burbled to herself as puffs of smoke poured from her mouth. With a contented sigh, she straightened up some and stretched her arms up high above her head, already feeling infinitely more awake.

"Good morning." A voice purred behind Sunset, causing her to glance over her shoulder.

Adagio stepped through the sliding door and onto the balcony, practically gliding towards Sunset before hopping up onto the small table standing beside her.

"Good to see you decided to wear clothes this time...barely." Sunset grumbled around the butt of her cigarette as she observed the siren's attire, which consisted of a dangerously baggy t-shirt and the smallest pair of underwear she had ever seen.

Adagio grinned like a serpent. "Me thinks the lady doth protest too much!" she whispered in a sing-song tone before reaching up and snatching the cigarette from Sunset and pressing it between her own lips, puffing lightly.

"Hey! Get your own!" Sunset whined, "Do you even smoke?"

"I do not." Adagio admitted, her grin turning even more mischievous than usual. "I just wanted to taste something that had been in your mouth..." With that, she gently placed the little paper tube back in Sunset's mouth, taking a moment to appreciate the flair of color quickly growing on the girl's cheeks before giggling and heading back towards the door. "Well I'm going to make a pot of coffee, would you like some?"

Sunset stared at her for a moment, completely at a loss, before just rolling her eyes and turning back towards the railing. "Sure I guess, should be in the cabinet above the coffee maker."

Upon hearing the door slide closed again, Sunset let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Stupid sexy siren, why did I ever agree to this?" Taking a few more contemplative puffs, Sunset checked her watch before flinging away the half finished coffin nail and heading back inside.

Much to her relief, she found Adagio at the small kitchen table, seemingly too absorbed in the magazine she was reading to tease her further, instead content with just sipping her mug of coffee every few moments. Taking advantage of the tranquil scene, Sunset pulled a mug from a cabinet and poured herself a cup before quietly heading off towards her bedroom.

"And where are you off to in such a rush hmmm?" Adagio called, not even looking up from her reading material.

"I'm supposed to be meeting Twilight at the library in a bit, and it's halfway across town." Sunset called through the bedroom door as she shuffled around the room, swapping her sleeping attire for real clothes.

"The library?" Adagio called back. "I thought you were done with school?"

Sunset hesitated for a moment, trying to decide how wise it might be to spill her not-so-legal ambitions to Adagio of all people, but in the end decided there wasn't much danger to it. "Well, I am, but she's helping me figure out how to fake my way into College."

"College? Why?"

Sunset could hear genuine bewilderment in the girl's voice as it floated in from the kitchen. "Well what else am I supposed to do? Sure there's plenty of jobs out there that only require a High School Diploma, but I'm not really interested in any of them, I'm hoping to go to Law School..."

Adagio finally laid down her magazine and cast a curious look towards Sunset's bedroom door. "But why bother going at all? Aren't you like, independently wealthy at this point? Why not just lounge around, do whatever you want, spend time with those ridiculous friends of yours?"

"They aren't ridiculous!" Sunset called back defensively, "and I'd kinda like to, y'know, do something with my life. I may have given up on apotheosis and rule over Equestria, but I haven't lost all ambition in my life." She explained with a roll of her eyes as she walked back out of her bedroom, now clad in jeans, a clean t-shirt, and one of her many leather jackets. "How do you know about my financial situation anyways? You never explained how you knew I owned this place..." she added suspiciously.

For once, Adagio looked slightly nervous, rather than smug or flirtatious. "Ohhh heh heh...you know, just keep my ear to the ground is all, you know how the rumor mill can be!"

Sunset narrowed her eyes. "I don't think so, most of my friends don't even know yet." She studied the girl's nervous behavior for a few moments before balling her fists. "Adagio, have you been stalking me!?"

Adagio threw her hands up defensively at the accusation. "N-no! Well maybe a little, but I wouldn't call it stalking! That makes it sound so much worse, I was just...keeping tabs on you...for years..."

Sunset grit her teeth, resisting the urge to throw the girl out right then and there, before selling the apartment and buying a new one in a different part of town. "Why?" she ground out between clenched teeth.

Adagio frowned, before heaving a sad sounding sigh. "At first it was...to try and take revenge, but after awhile, everything I thought of to get back at you just seemed pathetic, so I gave up. From there it just sort of became habit to keep an eye on you I guess, get an idea of what the other Equestrian refugee was doing, maybe try and follow your example a little..."

Much to her dismay, Sunset couldn't stay furious in the face of an explanation like that, and she felt the fire in her chest quickly fizzle out. "Ugh, whatever, just...just don't anymore I guess, if we're gonna live together I'm sure you'll see plenty of my life anyways."

Adagio nodded quietly, looking like a scolded puppy.

Sunset groaned in frustration. "Don't look at me like that! It's even worse than the heavy-handed flirting!"

As if someone had a flipped a switch, Adagio immediately perked up out of her sad routine and jumped up from the table, slinking towards Sunset. "Oh really now, you prefer that? I'd be happy to oblige."

"Ah, no no no!" Sunset shouted as she backed towards the front door to the apartment. "IgottagoI'llseeyoulaterbye!" she spouted as she slipped out the door and threw it shut before the foul temptress could get to her.

"You know you want it!" Came a muffled call through the heavy wooden door.

Sunset huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, before turning and heading off down the hall.

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Adagio smiled happily to herself before turning back towards the table and scooping up her coffee mug. "This should be interesting, don't think any of my past roommates have made it past the first night without sleeping with me before, well besides Aria and Sonata, but that's different, though there was that one time..."

Her musings were interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a disgruntled yell. "Adagio, let us in!"

"Ah, speak of the devil!" Adagio made her way to the door, opening it to reveal a scowling Aria Blaze and an awe filled Sonata Dusk.

"We came to check out your new digs." Aria grumbled, pushing past Adagio.

"Woooow this place is really nice Dagi! Guess all that time you spent stalking Sunny paid off!" Sonata added, as she surveyed the open living room.

"I wasn't stalking her!" Adagio quickly snapped.

"Suuuuuuuure." Aria rolled her eyes, "We all know you have a thing for her, what are you trying to hide?"

"I do not have a "thing" for her!" Adagio growled, "Adagio Dazzle does not have "things" for anyone!"

"Whatever." The other two sirens dismissed in chorus.

Adagio sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "What do you two want anyways?"

"We just wanted to see your new place. When you didn't come back last night, we assumed your little plan went off without a hitch." Aria admitted with a shrug.

"And to get you to buy us breakfast, since you have your new sugar momma and all!" Sonata cheered.

"She is not...ugh, why am I even bothering, fine, you've caught me in a good mood, let me get dressed and we'll go." Adagio huffed as she walked towards her new bedroom. "But we're keeping it under $10 each! I still have to pay utilities."

Aria and Sonata just grinned at each other.

--------------------------

Sunset cut the engine on her motorcycle as she pulled up to the library, figuring it would be much more polite to walk the bike into a parking space rather than drive it. Finding a convenient spot, she pulled off her helmet and jumped off the bike, giving it a proud once-over.

The brand new Triumph had been her other big splurge purchase after graduating, one she had saved up for on her own even before receiving a sack of valuables from another dimension. Most of her fellow bikers had her pegged as a Harley girl, and she loved subverting their expectations.

Finally tearing her eyes from the beloved machine, she made her way into the cavernous library building and began walking along the shelves, scanning the tables, until she found what she was looking for, a head of purple and pink hair extending just over the top of a large book.

"Morning Twi." She called in a muted voice, so as to avoid the wrath from any nearby librarians. Predictably, there was no response from the bookworm, who, if anything, leaned even closer into her book. Sunset rolled her eyes before taking a seat across the table and extending an arm before giving Twilight a good flick in the center of her forehead.

"Ow!" Twilight immediately set her book down and rubbed at the tender spot on her head. "Why do you always do that!" she hissed, giving Sunset a glare.

"Because it always works." Sunset replied with an unapologetic smirk. "You know I always try a non-violent option first, but you ignore me everytime."

Twilight pouted, still rubbing at her head. "Yeah well when I get diagnosed with brain damage or a tumor or something in 20 years, I'll know who to blame."

Sunset chuckled at that. "Ok well when that definitely happens, rest assured, I'll feel super bad about it. What were you reading anyways."

Twilight frowned, but eventually gave up on being cross with her friend. She closed the book and held it out towards Sunset. "'A Brief History of Canterlot Community College', take a look."

Sunset gave Twilight a confused look, taking the book anyways. "Ok, um...why?"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Because they offer a program for an Associate's Degree in Paralegal Studies, it'll be much easier to fake your way into alocal Community College than someplace like Hayvard." she pointed out bluntly.

Sunset nodded in understanding, before sighing in defeat. "I guess that's a good idea, but I don't want to be a Paralegal, I wanna be the real deal, y'know?"

Twilight nodded, "Yes, of course I know, which is why we start here, and in two years, you transfer to a full fledged law school, and with a transcript from Canterlot CC, nobody will question your credentials anymore, they'll just assume you must be legitimate if you've made it this far."

Sunset stared at her friend with wide eyes, stunned by the simplicity of the plan. "How did I never think of that? I'm supposed to be the duplicitous one!"

Twilight just giggled, before taking on a more serious expression. "Don't get too far ahead of yourself, we still have to find a way to get them to accept you, which I don't have a plan for just yet."

Sunset frowned, feeling her new rush of hopeful enthusiasm begin to ebb.

"On the bright side," Twilight continued, "we have an in."

"What do you mean we have an in?" Sunset gave Twilight a concerned look, becoming a bit worried at how much she was beginning to sound like a master criminal rather than a scientific prodigy.

"Simple," Twilight grinned like a cheshire cat, "both Applejack and Rainbow Dash are starting there in the Fall."

Friction

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"So, you really think I have a shot?" Sunset asked, casting a glance towards Twilight as the pair strolled down the hallway of her apartment building.

"Won't know until we have a real plan, but I think it's a better idea than trying to find some kind of crazy legal loophole that will force the government into recognizing an inter-dimensional immigrant as a citizen." Twilight answered with a rueful chuckle as she adjusted the massive stack of books held between her arms.

"Yeah, you've got me there..." Sunset admitted with a sigh. Hoisting her motorcycle helmet under one arm, she began digging around in a pocket for her keys, finding them after only a few minutes of fumbling. "I might as well keep looking though, it'll be awhile before we can..." Unlocking the door and swinging it open as she spoke, Sunset found herself cut off at the alarming scene in her living room.

Hanging from a hook that definitely hadn't been installed in her ceiling that morning, Sunset observed a human figure, bound and hung with black silk ropes, topped with a very familiar head of mint green and white hair.

"For the love of Celestia!" Sunset shouted, clenching her fists as her blood pressure spiked. "I can't leave her alone for half a day!?" Ignoring the sound of a gasp and several pounds of books falling to the floor, Sunset stomped over to the tied up figure so she could look her in the eyes.

"Lyra, what are you doing here?" Sunset asked curtly.

"Mmphmm mph whmm mmhmhmhm." The girl replied through the bright red ball-gag in her mouth.

Sunset crossed her arms, looking down at Lyra with an unamused expression. "Uhuh...and does Bon Bon know you're here?"

Lyra nodded, at least as much as the ropes allowed her to.

"...and does she know what you're doing here?" Sunset continued, narrowing her eyes.

Lyra nodded again, this time with a heavy blush spreading across her face.

Sunset slapped a palm to her face. "Wow, now I know way more about your relationship than I ever wanted to." Taking a small pocket knife from inside her jacket, she made quick work of the ropes, resisting the urge to grin with satisfaction as the girl dropped roughly to the floor with a yelp. Giving her a moment to stand, Sunset pointed towards her front door, where Twilight was still standing in shock. "Out, now!"

Still gagged, Lyra just nodded meekly while rubbing her sore backside, scooping up a nearby pile of clothes and hightailing it out into the hallway.

"Twilight....just, I don't know, guard the door, I have a bone to pick with my roommate." Sunset muttered darkly, walking towards Adagio's bedroom and landing a heavy fist against the door. "Adagio! Open the door!"

"Come innnnnnn, it's open!" Adagio sang through the door.

Bracing herself for whatever horrors or temptations lay beyond, Sunset opened the door, only to practically trip in surprise at what she saw.

Adagio was seated on her bed, wearing sweatpants and for once a normal sized tshirt. She had reading glasses perched on her nose and what looked like a well worn romance novel held open in her palm. As Sunset came barging into the room, only to stop in disbelief, Adagio looked up from her book, sliding the glasses down a bit to get a better look at her. "What's up?"

"I...you...but...what?" Sunset sputtered, trying to piece together what she'd seen since getting home into a cohesive idea and failing entirely. Eventually she gave up and just blurted what she assumed she had walked in on. "Aren't you in the middle of having weird bdsm sex with Lyra in our living room?"

Adagio just arched a brow at her, picking up a nearby bookmark and slotting it into her book before setting it aside and giving Sunset her full attention. "I never have sex with her." she pointed out bluntly, "...usually" she added under her breath. "The girl just likes to be tied up and apparently I'm one of the only girls in Canterlot who knows how to 'do it right', or so she claims. I just string her up and leave her for an hour or two before letting her run off to her girlfriend all hot and bothered." she explained with a shrug.

"So you expect me to believe that you're using sexual deviancy for good now?" Sunset asked suspiciously.

Adagio just shrugged again before picking her book back up.

Sunset growled as Adagio casually dismissed her, but couldn't really think of anything else to say. "WELL FINE, but don't drill anymore holes in the ceiling without asking me first!"

"You'll be thanking me for the hook once I show you what we can do with it." Adagio mumbled, not even looking up from her book, though her expression had changed into a wicked grin.

Sunset just groaned, too frustrated to even try and be mad at the girl anymore. "Whatever...I need a drink." she muttered as she turned and walked back out of the room.

In the mean time, Twilight had cleaned up the dropped books and closed the door before settling into her usual chair. She perked up as Sunset returned, but immediately noticed her apathetic demeanor. "Sunset? Is everything ok?"

Sunset held up one finger in response and walked past her towards the kitchen, squatting down to get to a low slung cabinet and extracting a rusted toolbox with a padlock on it. As she brought it back across the room and deposited it on the coffee table, Twilight noticed a bright red sticker on the front that read "For Emergencies Only."

"That's a pretty beat up looking first-aid kit." Twilight mused as she eyed the toolbox. "What do you need it for anyways?"

Sunset chuckled as she found her keys again and popped open the lock. "It's not a first-aid kit, and it's not for that kind of emergency." she answered cryptically as she turned the box away from Twilight and lifted the lid, rummaging inside for a few moments.

Twilight just gave her friend a concerned look.

"Oh calm down." Sunset chided, "It's nothing to be worried about." she added as she pulled a large bottle of whiskey from the box before setting two shot glasses next to it.

"I beg to differ..." Twilight said with a gulp as she noticed Sunset filling both of the small glasses. "Sunset, I can't, I'm not 21!"

Sunset rolled her eyes and pushed the glass across the table towards her. "Twi, do we really need to do this every time? You always cave."

"...True," Twilight admitted with a sigh, "but you're supposed to give me a ride home later, and it's not like I can crash in the spare bedroom anymore." she pointed out, eyeing the shot critically, before her eyes grew wide with terror "...seriously, please don't make me go in there!"

Sunset chuckled at that, wishing she could've gotten a picture of Twilight's deer in the headlights expression. "You take my bed, I'll take the couch, deal?"

"Fine..." Twilight grumbled, her moral annoyance quickly eroding in the face of the amber liquid "but if you start getting handsy again I'm locking you in the bathroom." Picking up the shot glass, she quickly tapped it against Sunset's and drank it down.

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Adagio closed her book as she finished the last page and tossed it towards her closet before
giving a yawn and stretching her arms. "Wonder what Sunset is up to, it's been awfully quiet since she barged in here a few hours ago..." she muttered to herself, getting up off her bed and heading towards the door.

Walking out into the living room area, she was surprised to see a surly looking Twilight pouring whiskey into two shot glasses from a large, half-full bottle. "Well well, this isn't what I expected." she said as she flopped onto the couch and helped herself to one of the glasses.

Twilight grunted irritably but followed Adagio's lead as they both lifted their glasses and downed them.

"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" Adagio chuckled, pushing her empty glass back towards Twilight and the bottle.

Twilight took the hint and went about filling them again.

"So where's my disgruntled roommate anyways?" Adagio asked casually as she picked up her refilled shot glass. She was about to drink it when suddenly the smell of smoke caused her to pause.

"Dagi! Are you here to drink with us? Twilight is being a big sourpuss!" Sunset cheered as she swooped into the room from the balcony and unceremoniously set herself down in Adagio's lap, a lit cigarette in one hand as she snatched the shot glass with the other and quickly tossed it down her throat.

Caught off guard, Adagio gave the oddly energetic and happy looking girl a confused stare.

"Haha whoops, was that yours? I'm sorry!" Sunset giggled as she put the glass back on the table and took a puff from her cigarette before locking eyes with Adagio. "I think there might be a taste of it still left on my tongue though, and I wouldn't mind sharing." she whispered as she leaned closer and closer to Adagio's face.

Adagio's face flushed as she felt herself instinctively leaning in towards the girl as well, the strangely appealing scent of whiskey and smoke coming off of her causing her mind to blank. Before their lips could touch however, Adagio was startled by an angry shout.

"Sunset!" Twilight growled, slamming a fist on the table. "No cigarettes inside! That's your rule, outside, now!"

"Whoops!" Sunset said with an airy giggle, hopping up out of Adagio's lap and practically skipping back out onto the balcony and sliding the door closed.

"Thanks captain cockblock." Adagio grumbled, this time grabbing the bottle herself and filling a glass, practically inhaling it the moment she was done, hoping to replace the heavy blush on her face with one of intoxication.

"Pfft I don't care about that, you can kiss her all you want when she comes back," Twilight said as she rolled her eyes as dramatically as possible, "I just don't want her to ruin her apartment."

Adagio found herself surprised by how genuine Twilight's answer sounded. "Really? You're not bothered at all by the idea that I might take advantage of her while she's drunk?" She asked skeptically.

"Hah!" Twilight scoffed, "You're dreaming if you think that's gonna happen, if anything she'll be the one taking advantage, girl gets way too riled up when she's this drunk. Trust me, you want no part of that."

"Somehow I doubt that." Adagio countered with a smirk, casting an eye towards the figure on the balcony that seemed to be doing some kind of uncoordinated dance as it tried to light another cigarette.

Adagio's smirk died as Twilight fixed her with a thousand yard. "You haven't seen what I've seen..." Twilight whispered, again filling the shot glasses, but this time with a shaky hand. "This one time, Pinkie had us over for a sleepover, and Rarity had somehow acquired a few bottles of wine..."

--------------------------

"...and to this day, that's still the only time any of us have ever seen Applejack cry." Twilight finished in a haunted tone before lifting the entire bottle to her lips and taking a long pull.

Adagio stared wide eyed at Twilight as she absorbed the girl's story, then grabbed the bottle from her and followed suit, before wordlessly standing up from her chair and heading back towards her room, taking the bottle with her.

Just as Adagio disappeared behind her door, Sunset came stumbling back into the room. "Where'd Dagi go?" Sunset asked in a slurred voice. "I was finally gonna let her kiss me!" she admitted with a girlish giggle, before glancing around the room. "also where's my booze?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Adagio went to bed and took the bottle for safe keeping, besides I think we've had enough." Twilight stood and grabbed Sunset's hand, dragging her down the hallway. "Come on let's go find some blankets and pillows for the couch."

"D'ya think Dagi would let me sleep in her bed? I bet she would!" Sunset said happily, sliding out of Twilight's grip and attempting to open the Siren's door, only to find it locked.

"Awww, she must be asleep." Sunset whined, pawing at the door like a neglected cat.

Twilight just let out a huff and turned to march towards the linen closet.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Adagio was cowering under her blanket, cradling the bottle of whiskey like it was a teddy bear.

In the Cold Light of Day

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Sunset’s eyes fluttered open weakly, and almost immediately she slammed them shut again, groaning as the brief flare of sunlight agitated the headache she had only just noticed. Whimpering sleepily, she decided it was probably a better idea to just fall back asleep, so she rolled onto her side and buried her face in the pillow as her arms found something soft and warm to wrap themselves around. The feeling was extremely comforting, causing Sunset to sigh happily as she began to drift back to sleep.

“Sunset, would you kindly take your hands off my chest?”

The annoyed and tired voice caused Sunset’s eyes to shoot back open, and she yelped with embarrassment as she flailed away from the body next to her, nearly falling off the bed in the process. “Damnit, Twilight I am so sorry! I knew I shouldn’t have drank that much...” Sunset moaned, covering her face in mortification. “I didn’t...y’know, do anything else to you did I?” She asked hesitantly.

Twilight sat up, tugging at her rumpled pajama top. “Relax Sunset, it’s not the first time you’ve accidentally copped a feel,” Twilight grumbled, rolling her eyes, “and don’t worry, I actually made it through last night relatively unmolested.”

“...Really?” Sunset asked, reluctantly admitting to herself how little faith she had in the discretions of drunk Sunset.

“Yep, you were far more interested in Adagio, or Dagi as you were calling her.” Twilight explained with a friendly smirk, reveling in the chance to be the one handing out some good-natured teasing for once, instead of being on the receiving end.

Sunset’s look of embarrassment quickly shifted to one of dread as her cheeks quickly reddened. “NO! Nonono! This is a disaster! Please tell me you intervened!”

“Hah, there’s no way I’m dumb enough to get mixed up in that mess.” Twilight scoffed, letting Sunset dangle for a moment. “But you don’t have to worry, you never made it that far before she went to bed.”

Sunset let out a breath she’d been holding, while simultaneously wrestling down the errant thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get a little intimate with her roommate.

“You did try to kiss her though.” Twilight added as an afterthought, causing Sunset’s heart rate to climb right back up to panic levels.

“Ughhhh why do I do this to myself!” Sunset groaned, again covering her face. “This is gonna feed right into all of her...her...seductive siren nonsense.”

“I’m not so sure.” Twilight said with a light shrug. “It actually seemed to fluster her a little...also I may have told her the story of that sleepover. I think she was a bit intimidated.”

Sunset hung her head in shame. “I literally can’t remember anything from that night, and I still want to forget it ever happened.”

“Cheer up, Applejack forgave you didn’t she?” Twilight reminded her, placing a comforting hand on Sunset’s shoulder.

“Yeah, after not talking to me for a month...” Sunset muttered. “Damnit, this can only make things worse but I should probably go apologize to Adagio shouldn’t I?”

Twilight hesitated for a moment before reluctantly nodding.

Sunset sighed before rolling out of the bed and stepping up to a full length mirror, checking to make sure she was dressed modestly enough to confront Adagio. “Wish me luck.” she grumbled over her shoulder as she passed through her bedroom door and into the hallway, slowly approaching the door to Adagio’s room.

Taking a deep breath to ready herself, Sunset gave the door a meek knock. “Adagio? Are you in there? I wanted to apologize for being a drunk mess last night.” She explained to the wooden door with a resigned sigh.

Through the door came a muffled cough of surprise, followed by a croaky but familiar voice. “You can come in, the doors open.”

Sunset turned the knob and swung the door open, stepping just inside while she purposely averted her eyes in preparation for some good old fashioned groveling. “Uh, Twilight filled me in on last night and I just wanted to say sorry, I’m sorta not myself after enough drinks...”

“Don’t worry about it, no big deal.” Came Adagio’s reply, sounding extremely relaxed as Sunset heard a familiar crackling noise followed by a long exhale.

“Really? I’m pretty used to having to apologize for drunk Suns...” It was at that moment that a rather strong and acrid scent drifted across Sunset’s nose, causing her expression to crinkle with displeasure as she finally turned her head to properly look around the room.

Adagio was in her bed, sitting up languidly against a stack of pillows as she pressed a hand rolled paper tube against her lips, an ember blazing at its top.

Sunset groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Adagio...please tell me that isn’t what I think it is?”

“Would you prefer I lie?” Adagio asked coyly as smoke seeped from her mouth to swirl around the room.

"I thought you said you didn't smoke?"

"I don't, well, not cigarettes...usually."

“Need I remind you I’m trying to become a lawyer here?” Sunset asked tiredly. “Can you not see how that’s a bit at odds with having illegal drugs in the apartment?”

Adagio couldn’t help but chuckle at that, taking another long drag of the joint. “Says the girl who was serving alcohol to little miss jailbait last night.”

“Twilight is very mature for her age...and she’s not jailbait, she’s 18...and the drinking age being 21 is stupid...” Sunset protested weakly.

“Doesn’t make you any less of a hypocrite!” Adagio sang happily. “Besides, you don’t need to worry, I’m not doing anything illegal.” she added, pulling a laminated card from a pocket of her sweatpants and presenting it to Sunset.

Taking the card and examining it closely, her jaw hung open as she determined it wasn’t a forgery. “Canterlot hasn’t even decriminalized marijuana, how in Tartarus did you get a valid medical card?”

Adagio’s relaxed smile spread into a familiar wicked grin as she leaned forward towards Sunset. “Oh I just found a cute young doctor and offered to let him give me a quick check-up in exchange.” she explained as she tugged open the neck of her shirt, offering Sunset a very good view down her shirt to hammer home the point.

Despite her best efforts to resist, Sunset reflexively glanced down, taking a long look as her face turned progressively redder.

“Ooh looks like that tactic works on cute young lawyers too, I’ll have to keep that in mind next time I get into any legal trouble.” Adagio giggled, giving Sunset a wink as she released her shirt collar, causing it to snap back into place and cutting off Sunset’s view.

“I...hhh...buh...” Sunset gave her head a vigorous shake, trying to recollect her thoughts. “Uh...right, just, take it to the balcony in the future, ok?” She mumbled shakily before turning around and walking swiftly out of the room.

Adagio chuckled to herself for a moment before taking Sunset’s advice and making her way towards the apartment’s sliding glass door.

As Sunset was making her way down the hall in the opposite direction, Twilight poked her head out of Sunset’s room, giving her friend a nervous smile. “So uh, how’d it go?”

Sunset walked right past her on wobbly legs, her cheeks still visibly burning. “IneedthebathroomforafewminutesKthanksbye.”

Twilight just gave her a confused look as she hustled into the bathroom, the door audibly locking once it closed. “Oooook...guess I should just get changed then...”

--------------------------

Twilight perked up as Sunset walked back into the bedroom looking much more herself. "I'm hungry!" Sunset proclaimed as she flopped down onto the bed next to her.

"...and also full of shame?" Twilight asked impishly, noticing the fierce redness on Sunset's face before had been replaced by a satisfied flush instead.

"Don't wanna talk about it." Sunset replied with a bright and very forced smile. "Let's go find a restaurant, I need something greasy to ward off the last of this hangover."

"Sure why not." Twilight agreed with a shrug, standing and heading for the hallway as Sunset followed.

They made quick progress through the apartment, but as Sunset turned away from the front door to grab her helmet, she noticed Adagio was still standing outside on the balcony, looking out into the distance. She looked...lonely.

Sunset watched her for a moment before sighing in defeat and putting the helmet back down. "Twilight, I think we might need to find someplace within walking distance."

"What? Why, you love driving that bike." Twilight pointed out in surprise, before turning around and following Sunset's gaze. "Ahhhh, you want to invite her don't you, and your motorcycle only seats two."

"I blame you and the girls for this damned empathetic streak y'know." Sunset muttered as she moved towards the back door.

"Oh sure, blame us all you want, it's not like I just saw you staring at her butt or anything."

"Shut up."

Sunset slid the door open wide enough to poke her head outside and firmly kept her gaze above Adagio's shoulders. "Hey Adagio, me and Twilight are gonna take a walk and find somewhere to get some lunch, you wanna come?"

Adagio quickly spun around to face Sunset and offered her a genuine smile for what might have been the first time ever. "Oooh I'd love to, I'm starving!"

"Gee I wonder why?" Sunset muttered to herself. "Come on, I think there should be a few decent places nearby."

--------------------------

Twenty minutes later found the trio being shown to a booth in a small restaurant by a waitress. Sunset and Twilight immediately slid into their customary opposing seats and each flipped open their menu.

Sunset began to scan through the list of choices but quickly lost her concentration as a warm body slid up next to her. Despite already knowing exactly what was happening, Sunset glanced over to confirm it, finding that yes, Adagio had cuddled up far too closely next to her, and was staring intently at Sunset's menu, despite having one of her own right in front of her. "Is it even worth asking you to move over?"

"Nope. What's good here?"

Sunset sighed, too hungry and hungover to argue. "I'm not sure, never tried this place before."

It was at that moment that the waitress returned to take their drink orders, looking expectantly at Sunset.

"Uh, I'll have a bloody mary please." Sunset asked, figuring one or two drinks probably wouldn't be an issue, even in this compromising situation, and it would likely help her headache.

"Sure hon, can I just see your ID please?"

Sunset nodded, digging out her wallet and presenting her fake ID, which ironically was marked with her actual date of birth. The waitress took a glance before giving her a nod then looking to Adagio. "And for you miss?"

"I'll have a sex on the beach." Adagio said with a sultry smile towards Sunset.

"Of course you will..." Sunset groaned.

"Oh, with double vodka please." Adagio added, ignoring Sunset's remark.

"Uh, ma'am...it's 11am..."

"I know." Adagio said with a small nod.

"Uh, sure, can I see your ID please?"

Adagio dug around in her purse for her own fake, this one proclaiming the owner to be several hundred years younger than she really was, which was quickly checked and handed back before the waitress finally turned to Twilight.

"Bloody mary for me as well please." Twilight said politely, before shrinking back a little as the waitress gave her an expectant look and held out her hand.

"Uh, a virgin bloody mary that is...please."

The waitress nodded before leaning in towards Twilight. "Did you want a separate check from those two dear?"

And the waitress thinks we're a couple, because of course she does. Sunset thought to herself, refusing to admit that it was kinda nice having Adagio nestled up against her side. "That won't be necessary miss, thank you, I'll take the check when we're done."

"Oh, thanks Sunset." Twilight said with a grateful smile.

"Yes, thanks Sunset." Adagio said directly into Sunset's ear before planting a soft kiss on her cheek, causing Sunset to stiffen up like a board.

Twilight gave them a curious look. "Um, I'm kinda starting to feel like a third wheel here guys, should I go?"

"Mayyyyybe." Adagio purred.

"Please don't!" Sunset whimpered, looking like she'd been cornered by a wild animal.

A New Challenger Approaches

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Chuckling to herself as she enjoyed Sunset’s harried expression, Adagio finally released her arm and moved towards the end of the booth. “Excuse me for a moment, I need to go powder my nose.” She said simply as she stood and headed towards the back of the restaurant.

Sunset took a deep breath as she felt the blood start to drain away from her face, and she sagged forward in relief. “What was I thinking inviting her along, I should have seen this coming.” she grumbled.

“I don’t think you were thinking, at least not with your head.” Twilight quipped, flashing a smirk at Sunset.

“I just wanted to be friendly!” Sunset protested weakly.

“Sure, you wanted to be friendly to her all night long!” Twilight threw back, looking far too proud of herself for the childish retort.

“Ughhh, why do you have to be so uncool about this!” Sunset moaned.

“Because you’re clearly into her,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, “even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“I...”

“Well hello girls, fancy seeing you here.”

Sunset and Twilight both nearly jumped at the friendly voice, having been far too engrossed in the ongoing conversation. Simultaneously they looked up to find their old High School Principal standing at the end of the booth, giving them a warm smile.

"Uh, hey Principal Celestia, what are you doing here?" Sunset asked, slightly dumbfounded.

"Oh, I live nearby and thought I'd stop in for a bite to eat, but I didn't expect to find two of my favorite former students here! And please, you can call me Celestia now, I'm not your Principal anymore." she said with an exaggerated wink.

"It's nice to see you Pr...er...Celestia, did you uh, want to join us?" Twilight asked awkwardly, noticing the woman was just sort of standing there expectantly.

Sunset shot Twilight a bemused look and received a subtle shrug as an answer.

"Why I'd love to! It'd be nice to catch up with you both." Celestia said happily, almost immediately moving to sit next to Sunset, but stopping short as she noticed the table setting and purse occupying the space. After a moment she turned and sat down next to Twilight instead.

"So what have you two been.." Celestia began to ask, only to be cut off as someone slid into the seat she had been eyeing.

Adagio reclaimed her seat, a curious look on her face as she appraised the new addition to the table. "Hello Principal Celestia, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Nor I, Ms. Dazzle, I didn't think this was the sort of company you tended to keep." Celestia responded in a clipped tone.

Twilight and Sunset both cringed slightly as they immediately noticed just how much less cheery the school administrator sounded.

"I've been...branching out." Adagio said coolly, giving Celestia a critical look.

"I'm sure." Celestia drawled, before turning to the other two, her warm tone returning as if someone had flipped a switch. "So what are you both planning now that you've graduated, I never got the chance to ask."

"Well, I'll be starting at Canterlot Institute of Technology in the fall." Twilight said with a glimmer of excitement in her eye. "I can't wait, they have the nicest lab facilities I've ever seen!"

"Good for you Twilight, I'm sure you'll do great there." Celestia said with an encouraging smile, genuinely proud of the girl. It was only so often a CHS graduate made it into a school like CIT. "And what about you Sunset?"

Sunset squirmed uncomfortably at the question, a slight frown on her face. “I, uh, i’m looking at maybe going to the Community College...”

“Really?” Celestia mused, trying to keep herself from looking disappointed. Sunset had been almost as gifted a student as Twilight, and it seemed odd for a girl with near perfect grades to be headed to a Community College.

Sensing her confusion, Sunset figured she could at least divulge a little of her and Twilight’s scheme. “Oh y’know, save some money by doing two years there then transferring to a four year school,” she explained, before looking a little downcast, “...provided I get accepeted...i’ve been having some issues with the paperwork.”

“Ah I see, well that makes more sense.” Celestia admitted, perking up and even giving Sunset a sly smile. “Maybe I could help you with that, I have a lot of connections that could help to...smooth things over.”

Suddenly Sunset jolted in her seat, sitting up straight stiffly as her face again started to redden, which Adagio noticed immediately, as for once she wasn’t the cause of such a reaction from her roommate.

“Perhaps we could discuss it over dinner sometime?” Celestia suggested airily, though her smile seemed to have gone from sly to almost predatory, another detail that sent alarms off in Adagio’s mind.

Noticing neither of the two were paying attention to her, Adagio leaned to the side to look under the table, and immediately had to stifle a gasp of surprise as she watched a long pale leg slowly rub up and down against Sunset’s.

”That hussy!” Adagio thought to herself without a hint of irony, her eyes narrowing as she sat back up and scooted closer to Sunset.

“Y’know Sunset I’ve been thinking on that very problem myself lately.” Adagio interjected, again leaning in to speak directly into Sunset’s ear as she slid a hand onto her thigh. “I’m sure I could help you in a few ways, you’ve seen how...persuasive...I can be.”

“I...uh...” Sunset murmured, feeling like she was stuck in a particularly foggy sauna.

Twilight just looked around the table with a puzzled expression, sure she was missing something.

Celestia favored Adagio with a scathing glare before reaching into a pocket and producing a business card, which she pressed into Sunset’s hand, making sure to hold it there for a little longer than necessary. “My cell is on the back, feel free to get in touch at any time.” she told her, offering another wink, though this one was far less casual.

As all this swirled in Sunset’s mind, it was all made infinitely worse by a hand that kept squeezing her thigh and a leg that kept sliding higher and higher, while her heart felt like it was going to shoot from her chest like a cannon. Finally one coherent thought made it through all the fog. Have to escape! Calmly, she placed the business card in her pocket, then extracted a few folded bills from the same pocket, and placed them on the table.

“IjustrememberedTwilightandIhavetodoathing,enjoylunchonmeyoutwo,okaygreattoseeyoubyyyyyyyyyyyyyye.” Came one unending stream of words from her mouth as she leapt out the opposite side of the booth, grabbing Twilight’s wrist and hoisting her along behind as she sprinted out the door and down the street.

"Rats..." Celestia grumbled, looking slightly downcast.

Adagio huffed and crossed her arms, favoring the woman with an annoyed leer. "Y'know I always assumed the rumors about you were exaggerated, but apparently I gave you too much credit."

Celestia rolled her eyes before looking at Adagio like she was a particularly unpleasant variety of insect. "Listen you little bitch, I have been waiting too long for that girl to come of age and graduate to let you come along and sink your claws into her at the last minute." she hissed through gritted teeth.

"...Gross, and that's hardly any way to speak to one of your former students." Adagio replied calmly, examining the nails of one hand casually.

"You dropped out, in case you forgot, I can treat you however I like." Celestia growled.

"Hmm, well then, as Sunset's roommate," Adagio grinned with satisfaction as she watched Celestia's eyes widen in surprise over that little revelation. "I'll have to let her know that I don't approve of having elderly sluts skulk around the apartment. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to return to my room." Adagio stood and threw the Principal a wink of her own, "...which is about five feet away from where our precious Sunset sleeps. Enjoy your free lunch, alone." and with that she strode off from the table and out the door.

For a moment Celestia looked like she was going to explode into a rage, but instead she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Well, I suppose it could have been worse, she did take the card after all." she said to herself with a hopeful sigh. Her musings were interrupted when the waitress came by and laid an assortment of tasty looking drinks on the table in front of her. "Oooooh, I'll certainly have to find a way to thank Sunset for this..." she said to herself brightly as she unwrapped a plastic straw.

--------------------------

Rarity was, well, bored really, as she stooped over the counter next to the register, sipping a rapidly cooling coffee and trying not to fall asleep standing up.

This problem was rendered moot as someone violently kicked in her front door, eliciting a shriek of confused terror as a red and gold blur dove into one of the dressing rooms of the small dress shop.

"RARITY YOU HAVE TO HIDE ME!" Came a panicked shout from said dressing room, and Rarity's distress began to subside as she recognized the voice of one of her best friends.

"Sunset? Dear, is that you?"

"It's her." Came another familiar voice between exhausted gasps for air.

Rarity turned to find Twilight Sparkle standing by the front door, doubled over and breathing heavily.

"Um, well hello girls, what, uh, brings you in today..." Rarity asked hesitantly, not really sure what to make of the bizarre spectacle occuring in her little shop.

"I'd like to know that too." Twilight grumbled, seeming to have recovered a bit as she stood back up and walked over to Rarity. "One minute we were having lunch with Adagio, and the next I'm being dragged for nearly 10 blocks."

Rarity arched a brow at that. "Adagio? As in brainwashed the school and nearly killed us Adagio?"

"That's the one, unless you girls have been attacked by multiple magical Adagios before I met you all." Twilight confirmed with a nod. "She's Sunset's new roommate."

"I'm sorry, what now?" Rarity gaped, before holding an open palm before her. "Wait, sorry darling, getting off topic, I'm sure I can get that story later, do go on, you were having lunch?"

Twilight shook her head briefly, having a bit of trouble following the conversation herself. "Right, we were just sitting down to eat, when Principal Celestia came by and joined us, and things seemed fine enough, even if there was some tension between Adagio and the Principal, when Sunset grabbed me out of nowhere and sprinted out of the restaurant, and now we're here."

"She was playing footsy!" Came a shellshocked shout from behind the dressing room curtain.

Rarity and Twilight gave each other a bemused look. "Sunset, I'm afraid you'll have to elaborate." Rarity prodded.

Sunset poked her head out of the curtain, giving them both a thousand yard stare. "Principal Celestia, she was playing footsy with me under the table almost immediately after she sat down, she just kept rubbing my leg, why didn't I wear pants today!?" she explained, looking nearly hysterical. "And then, Adagio started squeezing my thigh, and it was all too much, and now I need to hide, forever! Rarity I'm sorry but I'm gonna need this dressing room, forever!" With that, she dove back behind the curtain.

"Hmmmm." Rarity hummed, tapping a finger to her chin. "I should have seen this coming, really." she admitted with a small sigh.

"Seen what coming?" Twilight asked, genuinely curious as she pushed aside the revelation that her High School Prinicipal was apparently trying to seduce her best friend.

"Well, Sunset has always been rather upfront with her leanings since she broke up with Flash," Rarity mused, "and now that she's out of High School, in a town as progressive as Canterlot, you could say she's 'the belle of the ball', as it were." At that, Rarity's gaze turned distant as she adopted a wistful expression. "How very romantic, a city full of suitors and it's up to her to find true love among the clamoring masses!"

"Sounds more like an arena death match to me..." Twilight muttered, for once feeling relieved that she was a socially awkward shut-in.

"You guys have to help me!" Sunset wailed, sticking her head back out of her hiding place. "My roommate is a sex crazed deviant who treats me like a spider treats a fly, and my best shot at getting into College might be doing sexual favors for my MILFy former Principal!" She looked even more overwhelmed as she heard the words leaving her own mouth.

Rarity rolled her eyes. "As far as I know, Ms. Celestia has never been a mother, but you are in fact admitting you'd like to 'F' her, correct?"

"...Maybe."

"And what about Adagio?"

"...Also yes."

"I really don't see the problem here darling."

Leather-clad Romance

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After giving her a few minutes to quietly sulk in the dressing room, Rarity finally managed to coax Sunset out of hiding with the promise of a new leather jacket, under the condition that she'd come out and stand for a fitting of course.

Rarity had just received a roll of beautiful Italian leather after all, and she was dying to try it out. It had been meant for a series of gloves, but sometimes friendship demanded sacrifice.

Seeing her friend cheer up considerably as she placed the black shell over her shoulders, Rarity was doubly sure this was the right project for the leather, and decided she could relatively safely resume their earlier conversation, as she began making small adjustments to seams and pins.

"Sooooo...if you don't mind dear, please elaborate on why having two beautiful women chasing after you is so dire?" she asked gently, hoping Sunset wouldn't think she was being teased.

Twilight nodded subconsciously as she listened in while browsing a rack of blouses on the far wall, quite curious as well. She had, after all, just pointed out that Sunset was clearly interested in Adagio less than an hour earlier, and Sunset hadn’t put up much of a protest.

Sunset gave a heavy sigh, weighing the promise of a new jacket against mushy vulnerability, which she had decided she was done with after high school. The choice was made considerably easier as the scent of fresh leather wafted over her, causing her to immediately abandon her false bravado and spill her guts. Celestia above she loved that smell...

"You of all poeple should know exactly what the problem is Rarity." She grudgingly admitted, looking downcast. "I may put forward the whole alpha-biker-girl thing, but it doesn't mean I don't want any real romance in my life..." She muttered awkwardly, before a hint of anger slipped into her voice. "So please excuse me if I'm not thrilled with being repeatedly...propositioned!"

Rarity frowned, then offered a small but apologetic smile. "You're right darling, please forgive me, of all of us I'd say you've most earned some fairytale Princess treatment."

Sunset flinched at that. "I thought we all agreed to steer clear of the P-word when referring to me." she muttered, self-consciously rubbing her arm.

"Hold still!" Rarity snapped, giving the errant hand a quick rap with her ruler, causing Sunset to immeditely stiffen back into mannequin mode. "...and don't be ridiculous darling," she continued, her voice softening. "That was years ago, and you have more than made up for your mistakes. Why by now I think we'd all be heartily surprised if you didn't find a shiny new pair of wings if you were to take a visit through the mirror."

"Goddesses, I hope not." Sunset mumbled, a hint of humor returning to her voice. "I'm no good with politics, not to mention I think having Equestrian royalty walk around wrapped in leather would be a bit of a faux-pas.” She joked, waving her jacket wrapped arms a bit for emphasis. “And even a royal title and divinity aren’t worth giving up my little collection of your creations." She added with a grin.

Rarity silently glowed at the praise, redoubling her efforts to make sure her measurements and adjustments were just right. Clearly Sunset needed a bit of a boost at the moment, and she'd be damned if this wouldn't be her best jacket yet as a result.

Noticing the glint of resolve in Rarity's eyes, Sunset couldn't help but smile further, her mood already improving.

"Um..." Twilight interjected as she noticed the pair go silent. "...so which would you choose?"

"T-TWILIGHT!" Rarity sputtered indignantly.

"What, you were thinking the same thing." Twilight said with a shrug.

Rarity immediately glanced away, trying a little too hard to look like the question hadn't been buzzing around in the back of her mind throughout the conversation.

Sunset just shot Twilight a bemused look.

"Just hear me out," Twilight started, putting up a hand to stop any impending protests, "hypothetically, if one, or both, were to try and genuinely woo you, which do you think you'd choose?"

Chewing her lip, Sunset tried to imagine the prospect, finding the warm haze was swiftly returning to fill her head, causing her face to burn in response. "Uhhhhhhhhh..."

--------------------------

Adagio slammed her bedroom door behind herself, then let out a dramatic sigh as she let herself fall face first onto her bed.

"...I may have been a bit harsh back there..." She grumbled into the pillow. Guilt had become a more and more common companion of hers these days.

Maybe, but she started it. sniffed her inner monologue, projected from the bitchiest parts of her personality.

"Fair, but I thought we wanted to move past this sort of thing." She whispered to herself, ignoring the large neon sign in her head that was rapidly flashing the word "CRAZY" as she talked to herself.

Yeah, to try and impress Sunset, who she was trying to steal from us!

"We don't own her," she scoffed "she's just our cute little meal ticket. It's not like I really have a...c-crush...on her, no matter how much Aria and Sonata might insist otherwise!"

You do realize that lying to me is pointless right? I can literally see the part of your imagination where your mental image of her is surrounded by tiny little pink hearts.

"Sh-shut up! I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON SUNSET SHIMMER!" She fumed, before being interupted by a knock on her bedroom wall.

"You know we can hear everything you're saying out here in the hallway right?" Came a muffled, but hauntingly familiar voice. It was one of the last voices she wanted to hear right now.

"Seriously! For such a nice place, the walls sure are thin, huh Aria?"

And there was the other voice.

"What are you two doing here." She growled at the wall.

"We brought you all the rest of your stuff from the apartment! You told us to bring it now that you aren’t scared Sunset’ll kick you to the curb, remember?" Sonata answered in her usual, too-cheery-for-this-world tone.

"Yeah, now come let us in so I can properly laugh at you for that perfectly timed outburst."

Adagio could literally hear the smirk on Aria's face.

Muttering curses under her breath and praying the hot flush on her face would subside during her walk across the apartment, Adagio stomped her way towards the front door, pulling it open and poking her head out just in time to see the two sirens turn the hallway corner carrying several large cardboard boxes.

Giving the pair of walking storage containers a venomous glare they couldn’t possibly see, she moved to hold the door open wide for them. “The last 30 seconds didn’t happen...or else.”

"But they did though?" Sonata pointed out, sounding genuinely confused as she walked in and desposited the boxes she was carrying on the living room floor.

Aria chuckled as she followed suit, while Adagio struggled to take deep calming breaths, one palm massaging a temple.

"All we heard was the fervent declaration that you don't have a crush on your roomie." Aria pointed out mockingly, "Is that what you'd like us to forget about? Because without that one shouted statement, all we have left is evidence that says very much the opposite."

Adagio clenched her teeth into a snarl, ready to hurl more agitated denial, even knowing it would only prove Aria's point, but at the last second, she suddenly relaxed, a calmly superior smile spreading across her face.

It made Aria feel like her blood had been replaced by ice water. "A-Adagio...?"

"It almost seems a shame to finally play this little trump card I've been holding for so long, but we do what we must." Adagio thought to herself, her grin growing even larger. "Aria my dear, you know as well as I do that I don't get silly things like crushs, and I just don't want either of you to accidently say something that might make things uncomfortable for my dear, sweet roommate." she began innocently, her expression turning sinister as she went in for the kill. "For example could you imagine if, innocently and mistakenly, I started spreading the rumor that I had to move out of my old apartment because my two roommates would bang on every flat surface they could find every second I wasn't around."

Aria immediately stumbled backwards, as if she had been slapped, the redness on her face completing the illusion. "I...we...uh..." she stuttered, "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

While already feeble, the validity of the denial crumbled to nothing as Sonata leaned towards Aria and very loudly whispered "She knows!!!"

Aria's shoulders slumped as she realized there was no point in attempting to stuff the cat back into the bag. "How'd you find out? We were so careful..."

Adagio giggled as she rolled her eyes. "The two of you aren't nearly as sneaky as you think you are, besides, I noticed you were secretly in love with her literally centuries ago." she declared smugly.

"Me?" Aria asked dumbly, pointing a finger at her own chest.

"Yes, you, you dolt." Adagio said with a nod, genuine amusement twinkling in her eyes. "It was so obvious the way you two would constantly fight like cats, you're like a child, always pulling her ponytail because you didn't know how to tell her you liked her."

Aria seemed frozen now, except for the sweat beading on her increasingly red face.

"Y'know," Adagio went on, "I'm still convinced you only started tying your hair in those cute little pig tails in the hopes that Sonata would finally get brave enough to pull them back, which I guess she finally did!" she tossed a quick wink and a proud smile at Sonata, who was grinning and rubbing the back of her neck guiltily.

Finally regaining her ability to move, Aria coughed awkwardly into her hand. "Right uh...I guess your secret is safe with us then, long as the same goes for you."

"Of course, fair's fair," Adagio agreed, before her eyes widened in panic "n-not that my secret is real of course! I just don't want any false rumors going around!"

"Whatever you say Dagi." The two again spoke in perfect unison, identical conspiratorial smiles on their faces.

“Y’know it’s even creepier when you two do that knowing what you’ve been up to behind closed doors.” Adagio grimaced.

“It’s mostly just holding hands!” Sonata giggled, taking the opportunity to step towards her secret girlfriend and wrap said hands together.

“Oh trust me, I know, that’s why it’s so gross.” Adagio grumbled before making exaggerated gagging noises.

Aria smiled as she squeezed Sonata’s hand, realizing they didn’t have to pretend anymore around Adagio, but then tilted her head as a thought struck her. “Wait, if you knew all this time why not just tell us, make us tone it down? You didn’t have to move out.”

“Never pounce on an advantage as soon as it appears. Wait until it stands to have maximum effect.” Adagio quoted haughtily, before switching to an amused smile. “And I moved out because while perfect for a couple, a one bedroom apartment is far from ideal for 3 people.”

Aria gave her a bemused look. “...wasn’t that a quote from that weird video game we played last month?”

Adagio just shrugged.

“Alright then...” Aria muttered, letting it go. “Well you’re welcome to come visit anytime...just uh...knock first?”

“You could just leave a sock on the door or something.” Adagio purred with half-lidded eyes.

“We’re trying to prevent any weird rumors, not start them ourselves!” Aria nearly shouted.

Adagio just chuckled, before blinking in confusion. “Ok not to look a gift pony in the mouth, and I get why you’d wanna keep me out of the loop, but it just dawned on me that I have no idea why you two are so desperate to keep this a secret from the rest of the world?”

At that Sonata looked uncomfortable while Aria just looked angry.

“People still...sorta think we’re all sisters...” Sonata finally admitted forlornly.

“NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CORRECT THEM” Aria growled, a blood vessel bulging in her forehead.

“Seriously?” Adagio looked amazed. “That makes no sense, we all look nothing alike...and we have different last names!”

I Prefer Kick Drums & Red Wine

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Adagio released a contented sigh as she flipped through an old fashion magazine, listening to the background noise of explosions on the television, the clicking noises of Aria’s game controller, and Sonata’s amused giggles. It was a collection of sounds she’d heard for years, and it left her feeling almost nostalgic. Just like old times… she thought to herself, before glancing across the couch. …mostly.

Unlike old times, Sonata was curled up in Aria’s lap, eyes glued to the television as the controller hovered in her own lap, Aria’s arms wrapped loosely around her waist to hold it. Adorable Adagio thought, though she couldn’t stop the small pang of what was definitely not jealousy that ran through the back of her mind.

Adagio rolled her eyes. It was a ridiculous thought, her being jealous of those two. Adagio Dazzle did not get jealous! It was her who made others jealous! Speaking of, she belatedly realized she hadn’t teased anyone today, well besides Aria, but that hardly counted. I wonder when Sunset will be home… she thought, not noticing the slight pink tinge it brought to her cheeks.

A moment later, the distinct sound of a key being fumbled into a lock made its way from the front door, and Adagio couldn’t help the small grin that spread across her face. “Speak of the devil…”

“Wha?” Asked Aria, before catching on to the noises coming from the front door. “Crap!” She muttered, before tossing Sonata off her lap in a panic.

Sonata landed in a heap on the carpet between the couch and the tv. “Owie...” she managed to groan,

“Sorry babe.” Aria whispered, while trying to look as aloof and casual as possible.

--------------------------

Sunset paused as the key slid fully into the lock, taking a deep breath and eyeing her two friends to her left. “Brace yourselves girls, I don’t know what fresh hell awaits us inside, but I heard some kind of commotion in there.”

Twilight just rolled her eyes good natured-ly while Rarity giggled.

“Oh don’t be so mean darling, that could be your future wife in there!” Rarity teased, a twinkle in her eyes.

Sunset flushed red while trying very hard to not think about their discussion back at the boutique. “Sh-shut up! ‘What happens at the boutique stays at the boutique.’ is your rule! And that goes for what I said about both Adagio and Principal Celestia!”

“Fine, fine dear, our lips are sealed.” Rarity assured her, making a dismissive motion with a hand. “Regardless, I was promised wine and romance movies, so let’s get a move on.” She urged, gesturing for the door.

“Yeah, alright.” Sunset nodded, before taking another deep breath and swinging the door open.

To say she wasn’t expecting the scene that greeted her was an understatement, but that was becoming an increasingly regular occurrence.

“Uh, hi Aria, Sonata, what are you girls doing here?”

“We came to bring some of Adagio’s stuff from the apartment, then figured we’d hang for a bit.” Aria offered noncommittally, her attention focused mostly on the video game she was playing.

“I see...” Sunset answered, a bemused look on her face as her eyes moved from Aria to Sonata. “Uh, Sonata, why are you lying on the floor...face first...”

“Ih’s comfy...” Sonata muttered, sounding both sulky and not particularly comfortable.

“Um...k.” Sunset shook her head, then looked to Adagio offering a sheepish smile. “Hey Dagi…” she stopped short, realizing she had used the cutesy nickname without thinking about it, but decided to push through the blush it had caused. “I’m, uh, sorry we had to ditch you at lunch.”

Adagio turned a little pink herself, hiding it behind her magazine as she tried not to think of the last time Sunset had called her that. “It’s fine, I didn’t end up staying anyways, somebody had to come let these two in.” She explained, neglecting to mention the little verbal slap fight she’d had with Celestia.

“Rain check?” Sunset asked hopefully, though why it was suddenly so important to her, she couldn’t fathom.

“Of course.” Adagio purred, flipping the top of her magazine down enough to flash Sunset some mild bedroom eyes. “Maybe we can go just the two of us sometime.”

Sunset stiffened a little, but found the idea didn’t sound quite as horrible as she would’ve assumed. “Y-yeah, maybe…”

“Darling, you’re blocking the door, and I was promised wine!” Rarity called as she prodded Sunset in the back, causing the girl to jump slightly with an “Eeep!” and clearing the blocked entrance for herself and Twilight.

“Alright alright, I got it!” Sunset practically shouted as she speed-walked towards the kitchen, hoping nobody noticed how talking with Adagio had made her forget everyone else in the room. She opened a cabinet and pulled out a large cardboard box, hoisting it onto the counter. “Hope you don’t mind that it’s warm.”

Adagio glanced over, well pretended to glance over, maybe she’d been covertly watching Sunset the entire time, but who was counting, and groaned at seeing the box. “You can’t serve that tripe to our guests, Sunny. Hold on, I think I have something better in the stuff Aria and Sonata brought.”

Adagio bounced up from her position on the couch, doing a dramatic stretch before powering off towards her room, conveniently catching everyone’s attention while Aria discreetly helped her secret girlfriend up off the floor with an apology kiss on the cheek. After a few moments, she returned, her arms filled with a collection of dusty bottles.

Proceeding into the kitchen, she began examining labels as she deposited each bottle on the counter. “Hmmmmm, late 70’s Italian, these should be just about at their peak.” She mumbled before casting about for a cork screw

“You have a vintage wine collection?” Sunset asked, raising a brow as she pulled a cheap plastic cork screw from a drawer.

“One tends to accumulate things when you live for centuries, might as well try and find the ones that get better with age.” Adagio explained with an airy chuckle.

“Makes sense I suppose.” Sunset agreed with a shrug, before pulling out her phone curiously. After tapping on it for a moment, she held it up next to one of the bottles, her jaw dropping. “Holy shit, some of these bottles are worth like a thousand dollars!”

Adagio just shrugged. “I have plenty more, neither of us is hurting for money, and like I said, a few more years and these will be past their prime anyways. Besides I didn’t buy any of my little collection without the intent to drink it.”

“Well then that’s, uh…” Sunset scratched her head, still trying to wrap her head around the values of the bottles, before deciding it wasn’t really important right now. “It’s very sweet of you to share these with us.” Was what she settled on, adding a genuine little smile.

“You’re welcome.” Adagio said with a wink before scooping up two of the bottles and heading towards the living room. “Bring some glasses please!”

Sunset turned to another cabinet and opened it, reaching to the top shelf where she had a barely used set of long stem wine glasses. The box wine would have gone into disposable cups, but this situation called for something with a bit more polish.

Returning to the living room, Sunset found that Twilight had pulled a chair up next to the couch, and both her and Sonata had taken to watching Aria resume her video game, while Rarity was excitedly jumping up and down as Adagio smugly presented her with the pair of wine bottles.

Noticing Sunset had arrived with the glasses, Adagio set to opening each one, casting an eye around the room. “Alright, who wants red, and who wants white?”

“I’ll try the red please dear.” Rarity said with excitement, before giving Sunset a small frown. “And unfortunately Sunset must only have the white, she, uh….reacts poorly to red wine.”

Sunset grimaced, hiding her face in a palm.

Adagio just chuckled and began filling a glass from each bottle. “So I’ve heard.” She handed each girl a full glass, adding an apologetic smile for Sunset, then looked to the others. “What’ll it be girls?”

Aria grunted, pausing the game and rummaging in a plastic bag next to her to pull out a can of alcoholic energy drink. Adagio wrinkled her nose in disgust, but knew better than to try and convince the girl to drink something quality for a change.

“I’ll have the white please!” Sonata gasped, raising her hand as if answering a question in school.

“Um, make that two…please?” Twilight added hesitantly.

Adagio nodded, filling two more glasses with the bottle of white wine and doling them out, before turning back to the red for herself. When the task was finished, she raised it towards Sunset and Rarity. “You’ve caught me in a particularly good mood, so I’ll humor you and say ’to friends, old and new.’“

Sunset and Rarity both giggled a little at her reluctance before clinking their glasses and all three took a long sip.

“Mmmm, Sunset if you don’t marry this girl, I may have to.” Rarity mumbled with a blissful sigh.

“What?” Sunset and Adagio asked in unison.

“Hm? Nothing dears, just commenting on how delicious the wine is!” Rarity managed, taking another large sip to stop herself from laughing nervously. They both gave her odd looks but eventually returned to their own glasses, making their own series of approving noises.

“You two go sit down while I open another bottle of white, since this one is almost done.” Adagio offered, examining the mostly empty bottle. Rarity and Sunset shrugged, heading for nearby seats, while Adagio turned towards the kitchen, but not without Aria taking notice.

“Hey Nata, take over for me for a minute?” Aria asked, tossing her the controller.

“You got it boss!” Sonata said with a smart salute, while somehow managing to simultaneously walk the game character off a cliff.

Walking into the kitchen, Aria approached Adagio as she was working on opening a bottle with the less than adequate cork screw. “Need any help?”

“Nah, I got it.” Adagio said with a small grunt of effort, only getting the cork out halfway.

“Gimme that.” Aria said, rolling her eyes as she snapped up the bottle and gave the cork screw a seemingly effortless tug that popped the cork immediately.

“I suppose you were always better than me with pointy objects.” Adagio admitted with a wry grin.

Aria chuckled, before giving Adagio a more serious look. “So, you’ve got it pretty bad huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Adagio answered nervously. “Didn’t we already have this conversation a few hours ago?”

“Daj, you wouldn’t even share your collection with us.” Aria deadpanned, “Now you’re sharing it with an entire room full of people, just so you can share it with her.”

Adagio looked away, hugging her shoulders. “I-I just wanted to be a good host!”

Aria grinned wickedly, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Man, you used to be such a good liar, what has ‘Team Friendship” been doing to you these past few days?”

Adagio wilted, her shoulders slumping as she leaned against the counter, but there was a rueful smile on her face. “This is pretty much just her influence.”

Aria chuckled darkly. “That sounds dangerously close to just admitting you’re into her.”

“I, but, urghhhhh…fine, maybe I have, just a bit, developed a glimmer of affection for her.”

“That’s right, let it allllll out.” Aria quipped sardonically.

“Go choke on a barnacle.” Adagio grumbled, though she couldn’t help the edges of her mouth twisting into a smile.

"Seriously, why don't you just put the moves on her like usual?" Aria asked, a look of genuine curiosity on her face. "Your slowest record before now has been like 8 hours, and that girl was a 17th century Nun! I mean sure they wanted to burn you for witchcraft afterwards and we had to run for our lives, but Massachusetts sucked anyways."

"It's complicated." Adagio huffed, before giving a small, hesitant frown. "Most of my tactics just make her uncomfortable, which is super fun and cute to watch, but not exactly getting me anywhere." She took a moment to look around, ensuring nobody was eavesdropping on them before lowering her voice to a whisper. "And if I'm really being honest, I...I don't want just some one night stand...I want more than that" she admitted, her face heating up.

Aria gave an amused snort. "You sound like a simpering idiot right now."

Adagio glared, before taking up a wolflike grin. "So in other words, like I'm totally your type?"

Aria opened her mouth to retort, before glancing over her shoulder to see Sonata giggling merrily as she blew her own game character up repeatedly with her own rocket launcher. Rolling her eyes, she turned back to Adagio and shrugged. "What can I say, I like em dumb and cute I guess."

They both giggled for a moment before Aria turned back towards the living room. “Anyways, come on, you have glasses to refill, and I have another can of sugary crap to open, besides I wanna see what happens when you and bacon bits get drunk together!”