• Published 13th Jul 2017
  • 2,850 Views, 86 Comments

This Can't Be Legal - MareDoVVell

Sunset's struggle to protect her sanity and Twilight's innocence from the only slightly evil machinations of Adagio Dazzle

  • ...

In the Cold Light of Day

Sunset’s eyes fluttered open weakly, and almost immediately she slammed them shut again, groaning as the brief flare of sunlight agitated the headache she had only just noticed. Whimpering sleepily, she decided it was probably a better idea to just fall back asleep, so she rolled onto her side and buried her face in the pillow as her arms found something soft and warm to wrap themselves around. The feeling was extremely comforting, causing Sunset to sigh happily as she began to drift back to sleep.

“Sunset, would you kindly take your hands off my chest?”

The annoyed and tired voice caused Sunset’s eyes to shoot back open, and she yelped with embarrassment as she flailed away from the body next to her, nearly falling off the bed in the process. “Damnit, Twilight I am so sorry! I knew I shouldn’t have drank that much...” Sunset moaned, covering her face in mortification. “I didn’t...y’know, do anything else to you did I?” She asked hesitantly.

Twilight sat up, tugging at her rumpled pajama top. “Relax Sunset, it’s not the first time you’ve accidentally copped a feel,” Twilight grumbled, rolling her eyes, “and don’t worry, I actually made it through last night relatively unmolested.”

“...Really?” Sunset asked, reluctantly admitting to herself how little faith she had in the discretions of drunk Sunset.

“Yep, you were far more interested in Adagio, or Dagi as you were calling her.” Twilight explained with a friendly smirk, reveling in the chance to be the one handing out some good-natured teasing for once, instead of being on the receiving end.

Sunset’s look of embarrassment quickly shifted to one of dread as her cheeks quickly reddened. “NO! Nonono! This is a disaster! Please tell me you intervened!”

“Hah, there’s no way I’m dumb enough to get mixed up in that mess.” Twilight scoffed, letting Sunset dangle for a moment. “But you don’t have to worry, you never made it that far before she went to bed.”

Sunset let out a breath she’d been holding, while simultaneously wrestling down the errant thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get a little intimate with her roommate.

“You did try to kiss her though.” Twilight added as an afterthought, causing Sunset’s heart rate to climb right back up to panic levels.

“Ughhhh why do I do this to myself!” Sunset groaned, again covering her face. “This is gonna feed right into all of her...her...seductive siren nonsense.”

“I’m not so sure.” Twilight said with a light shrug. “It actually seemed to fluster her a little...also I may have told her the story of that sleepover. I think she was a bit intimidated.”

Sunset hung her head in shame. “I literally can’t remember anything from that night, and I still want to forget it ever happened.”

“Cheer up, Applejack forgave you didn’t she?” Twilight reminded her, placing a comforting hand on Sunset’s shoulder.

“Yeah, after not talking to me for a month...” Sunset muttered. “Damnit, this can only make things worse but I should probably go apologize to Adagio shouldn’t I?”

Twilight hesitated for a moment before reluctantly nodding.

Sunset sighed before rolling out of the bed and stepping up to a full length mirror, checking to make sure she was dressed modestly enough to confront Adagio. “Wish me luck.” she grumbled over her shoulder as she passed through her bedroom door and into the hallway, slowly approaching the door to Adagio’s room.

Taking a deep breath to ready herself, Sunset gave the door a meek knock. “Adagio? Are you in there? I wanted to apologize for being a drunk mess last night.” She explained to the wooden door with a resigned sigh.

Through the door came a muffled cough of surprise, followed by a croaky but familiar voice. “You can come in, the doors open.”

Sunset turned the knob and swung the door open, stepping just inside while she purposely averted her eyes in preparation for some good old fashioned groveling. “Uh, Twilight filled me in on last night and I just wanted to say sorry, I’m sorta not myself after enough drinks...”

“Don’t worry about it, no big deal.” Came Adagio’s reply, sounding extremely relaxed as Sunset heard a familiar crackling noise followed by a long exhale.

“Really? I’m pretty used to having to apologize for drunk Suns...” It was at that moment that a rather strong and acrid scent drifted across Sunset’s nose, causing her expression to crinkle with displeasure as she finally turned her head to properly look around the room.

Adagio was in her bed, sitting up languidly against a stack of pillows as she pressed a hand rolled paper tube against her lips, an ember blazing at its top.

Sunset groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Adagio...please tell me that isn’t what I think it is?”

“Would you prefer I lie?” Adagio asked coyly as smoke seeped from her mouth to swirl around the room.

"I thought you said you didn't smoke?"

"I don't, well, not cigarettes...usually."

“Need I remind you I’m trying to become a lawyer here?” Sunset asked tiredly. “Can you not see how that’s a bit at odds with having illegal drugs in the apartment?”

Adagio couldn’t help but chuckle at that, taking another long drag of the joint. “Says the girl who was serving alcohol to little miss jailbait last night.”

“Twilight is very mature for her age...and she’s not jailbait, she’s 18...and the drinking age being 21 is stupid...” Sunset protested weakly.

“Doesn’t make you any less of a hypocrite!” Adagio sang happily. “Besides, you don’t need to worry, I’m not doing anything illegal.” she added, pulling a laminated card from a pocket of her sweatpants and presenting it to Sunset.

Taking the card and examining it closely, her jaw hung open as she determined it wasn’t a forgery. “Canterlot hasn’t even decriminalized marijuana, how in Tartarus did you get a valid medical card?”

Adagio’s relaxed smile spread into a familiar wicked grin as she leaned forward towards Sunset. “Oh I just found a cute young doctor and offered to let him give me a quick check-up in exchange.” she explained as she tugged open the neck of her shirt, offering Sunset a very good view down her shirt to hammer home the point.

Despite her best efforts to resist, Sunset reflexively glanced down, taking a long look as her face turned progressively redder.

“Ooh looks like that tactic works on cute young lawyers too, I’ll have to keep that in mind next time I get into any legal trouble.” Adagio giggled, giving Sunset a wink as she released her shirt collar, causing it to snap back into place and cutting off Sunset’s view.

“I...hhh...buh...” Sunset gave her head a vigorous shake, trying to recollect her thoughts. “Uh...right, just, take it to the balcony in the future, ok?” She mumbled shakily before turning around and walking swiftly out of the room.

Adagio chuckled to herself for a moment before taking Sunset’s advice and making her way towards the apartment’s sliding glass door.

As Sunset was making her way down the hall in the opposite direction, Twilight poked her head out of Sunset’s room, giving her friend a nervous smile. “So uh, how’d it go?”

Sunset walked right past her on wobbly legs, her cheeks still visibly burning. “IneedthebathroomforafewminutesKthanksbye.”

Twilight just gave her a confused look as she hustled into the bathroom, the door audibly locking once it closed. “Oooook...guess I should just get changed then...”


Twilight perked up as Sunset walked back into the bedroom looking much more herself. "I'm hungry!" Sunset proclaimed as she flopped down onto the bed next to her.

"...and also full of shame?" Twilight asked impishly, noticing the fierce redness on Sunset's face before had been replaced by a satisfied flush instead.

"Don't wanna talk about it." Sunset replied with a bright and very forced smile. "Let's go find a restaurant, I need something greasy to ward off the last of this hangover."

"Sure why not." Twilight agreed with a shrug, standing and heading for the hallway as Sunset followed.

They made quick progress through the apartment, but as Sunset turned away from the front door to grab her helmet, she noticed Adagio was still standing outside on the balcony, looking out into the distance. She looked...lonely.

Sunset watched her for a moment before sighing in defeat and putting the helmet back down. "Twilight, I think we might need to find someplace within walking distance."

"What? Why, you love driving that bike." Twilight pointed out in surprise, before turning around and following Sunset's gaze. "Ahhhh, you want to invite her don't you, and your motorcycle only seats two."

"I blame you and the girls for this damned empathetic streak y'know." Sunset muttered as she moved towards the back door.

"Oh sure, blame us all you want, it's not like I just saw you staring at her butt or anything."

"Shut up."

Sunset slid the door open wide enough to poke her head outside and firmly kept her gaze above Adagio's shoulders. "Hey Adagio, me and Twilight are gonna take a walk and find somewhere to get some lunch, you wanna come?"

Adagio quickly spun around to face Sunset and offered her a genuine smile for what might have been the first time ever. "Oooh I'd love to, I'm starving!"

"Gee I wonder why?" Sunset muttered to herself. "Come on, I think there should be a few decent places nearby."


Twenty minutes later found the trio being shown to a booth in a small restaurant by a waitress. Sunset and Twilight immediately slid into their customary opposing seats and each flipped open their menu.

Sunset began to scan through the list of choices but quickly lost her concentration as a warm body slid up next to her. Despite already knowing exactly what was happening, Sunset glanced over to confirm it, finding that yes, Adagio had cuddled up far too closely next to her, and was staring intently at Sunset's menu, despite having one of her own right in front of her. "Is it even worth asking you to move over?"

"Nope. What's good here?"

Sunset sighed, too hungry and hungover to argue. "I'm not sure, never tried this place before."

It was at that moment that the waitress returned to take their drink orders, looking expectantly at Sunset.

"Uh, I'll have a bloody mary please." Sunset asked, figuring one or two drinks probably wouldn't be an issue, even in this compromising situation, and it would likely help her headache.

"Sure hon, can I just see your ID please?"

Sunset nodded, digging out her wallet and presenting her fake ID, which ironically was marked with her actual date of birth. The waitress took a glance before giving her a nod then looking to Adagio. "And for you miss?"

"I'll have a sex on the beach." Adagio said with a sultry smile towards Sunset.

"Of course you will..." Sunset groaned.

"Oh, with double vodka please." Adagio added, ignoring Sunset's remark.

"Uh, ma'am...it's 11am..."

"I know." Adagio said with a small nod.

"Uh, sure, can I see your ID please?"

Adagio dug around in her purse for her own fake, this one proclaiming the owner to be several hundred years younger than she really was, which was quickly checked and handed back before the waitress finally turned to Twilight.

"Bloody mary for me as well please." Twilight said politely, before shrinking back a little as the waitress gave her an expectant look and held out her hand.

"Uh, a virgin bloody mary that is...please."

The waitress nodded before leaning in towards Twilight. "Did you want a separate check from those two dear?"

And the waitress thinks we're a couple, because of course she does. Sunset thought to herself, refusing to admit that it was kinda nice having Adagio nestled up against her side. "That won't be necessary miss, thank you, I'll take the check when we're done."

"Oh, thanks Sunset." Twilight said with a grateful smile.

"Yes, thanks Sunset." Adagio said directly into Sunset's ear before planting a soft kiss on her cheek, causing Sunset to stiffen up like a board.

Twilight gave them a curious look. "Um, I'm kinda starting to feel like a third wheel here guys, should I go?"

"Mayyyyybe." Adagio purred.

"Please don't!" Sunset whimpered, looking like she'd been cornered by a wild animal.

Author's Note:

I know I said i'd have this out before the 8th, and I also know I said I'd do a new chapter for Principle of Equestria first, but what can I say, I suck at deadlines :facehoof:

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