The Rainbow Machine

by Vinyl Nexus Scratch

Old Things are Best Left Alone

The Rainbow Machine

On a day like many others in Cloudsdale, a group of friends decided to do what most children did when bored out of their minds. Look for stuff they could play with or just look at.

Fire Fast, an orange Pegasus Filly with a blue mane said they should go to the museum of modern robotics. She'd always liked robots. She thought she had reached Nirvana when she heard what the Neighponese were doing. And it only cost 2000 bits!

Black Mist was, as could easily be assumed, a black Colt. A rare pure black at that. Black coat, black mane and black tail. He was a lover of sports and adored a certain Rainbow Dash. He couldn't wait to one day meet her and... Well he wasn't quite sure yet but he was sure he'd do it. He'd originally thought of getting her autograph but that seemed too run of the mill for him, he needed to think big.

Night Blitz, a light blue Colt with a red mane and a scar on his side, was named for the day of his birth. It was bright but quiet and his parents were at Canterlot on the day of the Changeling Invasion. Night Blitz's mother, Night Strike, was known quite well for her fighting ability. She had tried all types of martial arts and concluded they weren't sufficient. She had combined all the most useful moves of each to create the "Night Blitz". That's what ponies believe. What actually happened was that during the invasion, she was attacked by 4 Changelings at once. She fought them as best a pregnant mare could. With assistance from her husband, Glittering Star, she beat each of them easily. She swore to her husband that she'd never tell a soul that the assistance he provided was to run around screaming. On that very night she gave birth to a Colt. She named him and named her martial art after him. He voted for a nearby Hayburger King. He cared little for his mothers obsession with punching ponies in the face. He much preferred more quiet and peaceful pastimes, like cooking and reading.

They could come to no real agreement when they, during their aimless wandering, came upon an old building. It was huge.

The building was easily as big as a castle. It's roof wasn't symmetrical, it bent and pointed in all manner of directions. Fire Fast joked that the architect was Discord on her mothers medicine. The others laughed in response.

They looked at each other meaningfully. Communicating silently with one another. They all simultaneously said "here!" And went to find an entrance.

The old building, due to its sheer size, was a big pain to get around to find an entrance. A large Car Park was located to the back and was obviously made to hold trucks of great size. Fire Fast was quick to surmise that if they couldn't find a front entrance, a backdoor would do.

Fortunately, Fire Fast was absolutely correct. A large, rust metal garage door greeted them. They tried to find a switch or lever to open the tremendous door but could find none.

"Well... We tried I guess." Said Night Blitz. Rather bored of this venture and just wanted a hay burger now.

"Oh come on!" Whined Fire Fast in a way that Night Blitz really hated. "We've just gotta use our heads"

A loud bang resounded throughout the Car Park and near causes Fire Fast and Night Blitz a heart attack.

A second, much louder crash caused Night Blitz to jump onto his friend for protection. He neglected to inform Fire Fast and only succeeded in knocking her into the ground with his face. They both swore vengeance upon loud noises that day.

"I think hooves work better." Said Black Mist as he stood proudly and basked in his own smugness. He was the strongest Pegasus around and loved reminding people of it in such a way that they couldn't really argue with him.

"You! You! Youuuuuuu!" Sputtered the two foals as they tried untangling themselves from each other.

"It worked didn't it?" Asked Black Mist, his self satisfied smile never leaving his face. He turned to go into the building.

Both foals looked at each other and nodded. They charged at the black Colt and both punched him in the butt.

"Ow! I was only getting this done faster!" Black Mist yelled, the reverberations of his voice inside the building making his point completely inescapable.

"Well you shoulda said!" Retorted Night Blitz as he smoothed out his wing feathers.

"Yeah... Ugh just forget it" Fire Fast said, knowing this was only making their day longer and more boring.
The children looked around the enormous place. It was pitch black. The tried turning to the side. Also pitch black. They were starting to see a pattern.

"Ok I'll go find the light switches" said Black Mist as he reached into his pack to get his flashlight.

"I'll stay by the door in case someone comes by" said Night Blitz.

"I'll stay with Night Blitz!" Fire Fast blurted out fast.

The two colts looked at each other then to the filly. "Nope!" They said "you're carrying the torch." Ended Black Mist.

"Bbut..." Sputtered Fire Fast.

"Just come on you big coward!" Said Black Mist as he tossed her the flashlight. Fire Fast caught it with her wing.

"Can't I stay with you Night? Away from the dark?" She pleaded without subtlety.

"... Stop that!" Cried Night Blitz as Fire Fast attempted to use persuasive cuteness.

"Please?" She enlarged her eyes and quivered her lip.

Black Mist dragged her away "no you're not, now come on and help"
"Ooohhhhhh fine!" Said Fire Fast.

They searched through the dark of the place, seeing what they presumed was garbage all over the floor.

"Luna!" Black Mist exclaimed "I stepped on something sharp!" He concluded with clenched teeth.

"You ok?" Asked Fire Fast, worried her friend might be hurt.

Black Mist shined the light to his hoof and found that it was bleeding but wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before "nah I'm ok. Was just the shock that made me yell." He reassured her.
Silence followed their conversation as they looked.
Finally they found it. A giant switch. Unreasonably huge.

"What the buck? Why's it so big?" Asked Fire Fast

"I dunno. Must be important though." Surmised Black Mist

"Fair point." Said Fire Fast.

"It's fine... Ok help me up" said Black Mist.

"... You remember you have wings, right?" Asked a perplexed Fire Fast.
Black Mist rolled his eyes "I'm strong with my arms, not my wings and I can't pull this thing with my weight alone. I just need a boost so I can pull it."

"Oh ok" and so she helped him up. "Celestia! Why are you so heavy?!"

"Maybe you just need to work out more." He retorted as he pulled the big switch.

"Ok Night! We got it!" Shouted Fire Fast to her friend.

"Ok I'm coming!" He responded and ran over to join them.
And then it happened.

As a result of the children having turn the switch, the entire facility burst into life.
Old lights slowly turned back inside their dust encased glass shells to lighten the room. The floor was revealed to have bits and pieces of broken scrap metal scattered all about its old surface. Old machinery started old operations not done in many years. The entire room creaked and cracked as gears started and parts fell out.

From the ceiling came a sight not beheld by many ponies before. A disfigured mass of metal attached to a near ancient crane made its way down slowly towards the children. They could hear the swirling mess of scrap because it made the most noise of all.

The near unidentifiable heap started to move. It's movements caused bits and pieces to fall from its old frame to reveal what appeared to be arms. They were of great number, all rather large to the small filly and colts. As the thing descended further they could make out small metal claws attached to each one.

"Are those eyes?" Asked Night Blitz. In response the others tried to look closer. Yes, this thing did seem to have eyes.

As the thing unfurled its many arms, it revealed a single cracked screen which showed a great many eyes. The eyes all appeared to be the same eye. A left eye specifically. The eye, from what they could tell, had all the features to indicate it belonged to a rather kind pony. It's bright and happy colour of light blue would've been more welcome on a pony though. And only served to unnerve the children as it was attached to whatever this was.

It was at this point that the machinery, of what could only have been an old factory, started to operate in a more rhythmic pace. The crashing of crushers setting a rather good beat. And then a voice started to sing.

"Now a Rainbow's tale isn't quite as nice, as the stories we knew of sugar and spice" the voice most certainly belonged to no pony. It was almost a sequence of continuous beeps made to sound like words. It emitted from all sides of the foals at a ghastly volume that almost blotted out the rest of the facility.

"But a Rainbow's easy once you get to know it, with the help and the magic of the Pegasus Device" it was then that 2 of dirty old arms grabbed at Fire Fast. The Filly could do nothing to stop the arms as 8 others joined to grab at her. The enormous thing lifted her up to a small, foal sized slab of metal suspended above the production line. The arms seeming to take a much more elegant and efficient way of moving, as if this was something they had done many times. They grabbed at harnesses for her four legs and two wings. She was held completely still as they passed over her limbs.

The other Pegasus children could do nothing. Not a single one of them was a good enough flier to both fly and remain steady enough to hit the thing away. This didn't stop Black Mist from trying.
Black Mist flew as fast as his small wings could carry him. As he neared the arms he put out his right hoof in order to punch the thing using his speed rather than his body strength. As he impacted he realised how foolish this decision had been. The thing was rusted and falling apart. Bits of metal stuck out at odd angles. Black Mist has unfortunately hit one of these angles. This did nothing to stop the brash Colt as he attempted to save his friend.

Black Mist grabbed at the machines arms keeping Fire Fast in place and attempted to pull them away. The thing had now noticed an obstruction in its way and concluded that it must remove the obstacle.
An arm grabbed Black Mist roughly by his wings and threw him down to the ground. Uncaring as machines go, it went back to its task.

Fire Fast was never a brave Filly. She was scared of a great many things, but she'd always loved robots. She adored making small machines at home and wanted to be an engineer when she grew up. It was a rather upsetting situation then that her greatest love was currently her greatest fear. She looked at the conveyor belt down below her. It had dried substances on it. The colour of them reminded her of the times she got a nose bleed and used a tissue to soak it up but was too lazy to throw it away straight after.
It was blood. The thing was covered in blood. She took a closer look around and saw that the floor was bloody and even the thing gently attaching her to the slab was rather bloody.

The thing finished its work and simply stayed absolutely still as the slab moved down to the conveyor belt.
Fire Fast was terrified. She tried to think of anything to calm herself down. She couldn't.
The conveyor moved her to a set of sharp looking needles attached to metal arms. They were all still as stones until she was directly under them. They stayed in place for a while. She could've sworn they were staring at her. They plunged forward towards various parts of her body.

'Fire Fast:Filly
Age(7years.5months)

Rainbow Count/500

Death//6.57994milliseconds after sample taking

Assessment//conclusion. Most useful'

Fire Fast was moved further on where various means of drawing the maximum amount of bodily fluid were utilised. Her body was then released from the harnesses into an incinerator.
The other children looked on horrified, their friend was gone so quickly. They couldn't mourn for long though, they had to escape. They ran for the exit.

And ran

And ran

And ran

They couldn't believe how much longer the way there seemed. Finally they reached the battered remains of the door

The door was then crushed under another, much sturdier looking door just as they reached it. They were all trapped. No way out.

The thing began to sing it's sickening song again.

"Let's delve deeper into Rainbow Philosophy. Far beyond that of Cloudsdale's Mythology. It's easy to misjudge that floating city. With its alluring decor and social psychology. But with all great things comes a great responsibility. That of Cloudsdale's being weather stability"
The thing grew nearer to the foals once again.

"How, you ask, are they up to the task?" The eyes stared directly at the colts. "To which the answer is in a simple facility!" It grabbed at them all. Many arms with so many sharp parts that the children couldn't struggle too much lest they die of lacerations.

And so the machine strapped them each to a slab. Each of them asking "why?!", "what are you?!" Et cetera. It did not answer.

As they were both carried off onto the conveyor they could hear thing still singing. Quieter and quieter the further they were.

"In the Rainbow Factory, where your fears and horrors come true. In the Rainbow factory, where not a single soul gets through."

////////////////////////////////////////////////

The machine was rather pleased, as much as it could be, with its work today. So many Rainbows would be produced. Cloudsdale could be a multi coloured beacon if it so chose.

After many hours of having its various conveyors and machines active whilst doing nothing productive, it decided it would be better to simply cease production for a while. The inspectors could come at any minute. What would they think if it was wasting so much energy on nothing?

After a month of waiting and no sign of anymore foals or official inspectors, the thing decided it would be best to simply power down until it was needed. As it deactivated itself, so to did everything else it left on. The doors opened rather violently and the lights all switched off. Returning the place to a calm silence.

Comments

[SteffaniStar]

Cool story hoping to see more stories in the future

[Vinyl Nexus Scratch]

6817135 Awh thank you ^.^

[JackRipper]

I give it a 6/10.

A lot better than some of the stories I see on here from time to time.

Characterization is good, but the dialogue feels disjointed at times.

The pacing of it was too quick, you should add more detail and slow it down a bit. An audience usually favors multi-chapter fics with long length chapters, keep that in mind.

Some grammar issues here and there, nothing that can't be fixed with a little editing though.

Last but not least, the plot felt copy-and-paste. I'm guessing you favor the macabre and like writing horror stories. If that's the case, use your imagination! I'm sure you'll come up with something.

If you need any ideas, I write lots of horror. You can always follow me and hit me up whenever you need some inspiration or an opinion. I got lots of 'em.

[Vinyl Nexus Scratch]

6819366 I appreciate that ^.^

Honestly I knew there were problems, enormous ones, not long after I posted but wanted to have it looked at the way it was.

Yeah the plot was pretty much the standard. I had an idea and wanted to see how it went. Unfortunately when the idea is "huh... Wooden Toaster sure does sound like a robot... Hmmmmm" then there isn't much to work with.

I did the part with the machine first and decided to flesh out my characters second. Obviously I should've slowed down a bit here.

Just to know, did I do a good job of characterising the setting too? Or at least passable? Also which of the characters stood out most to you? I already have a personal favourite and am considering doing more with that character. Just want to know what my readers think.

[SonicRPika]

I like the fact you incorporated the song "Rainbow Factory" in the fic. I felt I knew Night Blitz the most backstory-wise, while Fire Fast was the one I knew most about in the situation.

Length of a fic doesn't matter too much, but more details were needed in tems of thoughts and feelings.

Dialogue was ok, but felt out-of-place at times.

Next time, maybe try to portrey more of how the character's feel in a situation.

Overall, good job. Deserves a like.

[JackRipper]

6819385
I suppose Night Blitz, since he has the most backstory and he reminds me a little of myself in a couple of ways.

[Vinyl Nexus Scratch]

6819591 Honestly the story was borne of me listening to the song. Started imagining a weird machine. I'm a big fan of rusty old piles of crap being the monsters of stories.

I agree honestly. Went too fast with this. Needed to slow down and imagine what everyone is feeling.

I may just redo this entire thing at some point. Flesh out my made up characters, figure more out about them. It's always good to know your characters before you brutally murder them.

[Vinyl Nexus Scratch]

6819606 Now that you've brought it up my brain is thinking up more stuff about him

[SonicRPika]

6819815 but of course! Knowing about the character (backstory, personality etc) is vital, especially if you are to kill them.

There's a fanfic called "Rainbow Factory" if you were unaware of one. It's a good fanfic, and I'd reconmend you read it to get some ideas plot-wise and character-wise. (link to the story on FiMFiction provided)