You definitely fixed the pacing in this chapter. Fluttershy should be a little more shy. Twilight would probably be more cautious in this situation than usual so i'm fine with the way you have her.
It's a great story with lot's of potential. I'm looking forward to the next chapter
wtfcontent.com/img/131392620503.jpg I am Heavy Weapons Guy and I approve this story
You definitely fixed the pacing in this chapter. Fluttershy should be a little more shy. Twilight would probably be more cautious in this situation than usual so i'm fine with the way you have her.
It's a great story with lot's of potential. I'm looking forward to the next chapter
Very good story so far. Keep it up.
I like it. Chapters could be longer, but that's just me.
727934 actually i think in the story the mother assumed they were life sized plush.
730870
But why would she acknowledge the fact that he said they needed his help and were injured?
705925 "Whats with the box?" *pulls up cardboard box notices you in it*
727817 nice manwich i like mine will a little TNT
735352 probably thinking he was one of those creepy fanboys who take there fandom to the extremes of referencing to plushes as real.
This was a sweat and awesome read .Im happy he stoud up to his dad I can't wait to see what happens next.
oh no this is NOT gonna be good