I LOVE how this chapter went and progressed! I loved how twilight really started to take the initiative with him. the chapter was little short and went a little fast but other than that I really loved it! thank you!
Very good, but you do know ponies don't cook steak right? They stay away from meats, just fyi but I understand the way you were thinking with this chapter
little negative criticism here. first of all you need to work on your plot development, things seem to happen randomly for no apparent reason, and are then hastily explained away after the fact. it feels to me like you're rushing yourself through the story. pace yourself, you'll be rewarded. second, your grammar and spelling is all over the place. it feels to me like English was not your first language. I am going to take it upon myself to proofread and rewrite the whole story for you nice concept though, keep thinking outside the box.
I LOVE how this chapter went and progressed! I loved how twilight really started to take the initiative with him. the chapter was little short and went a little fast but other than that I really loved it! thank you!
Im jelly gotta endure tomorrow day and night then im goin gettin Borderlands 2
You earned a Schnauzer for playing Borderlands 2:
I present you: DER SCHNAUZER!
Yeah... I'm done.
Well, that escalated quickly.
Also, Kevin Is a PLAYAH!
Very good, but you do know ponies don't cook steak right? They stay away from meats, just fyi but I understand the way you were thinking with this chapter
1423934 PS3
Dont, Dont be on fire.
Ive been on fire before.
Hurt more then Three 7.62 Rounds.
little negative criticism here.
first of all you need to work on your plot development, things seem to happen randomly for no apparent reason, and are then hastily explained away after the fact. it feels to me like you're rushing yourself through the story. pace yourself, you'll be rewarded. second, your grammar and spelling is all over the place. it feels to me like English was not your first language. I am going to take it upon myself to proofread and rewrite the whole story for you nice concept though, keep thinking outside the box.
I loved it there getting closer an closer each day.