When Twilight falls, Midnight rises... and it wasn't just the magic she unleashed.
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This raises several questions about the group's slumber parties.
Ah, hints of things to come...
And a literal cliffhanger to end on. looking forward to seeing you revisit this one in due time.
Been a while since I've left a comment on one of your stories. I'll be honest, this story isn't my thing. You know that of course but it bears mentioning for anyone other than you reading it. That said, it's still enjoying to read just from the standpoint of reading any piece of well-written literature so that's what I'm going to do now.
And shamelessly savor the references to my own work.
It's good to be the prereader to two very good authors.
The sarcasm just drips off my screen. What a line!
Looking at your Starswirl, you xenophile! You put Roseluck to shame.
Sunset Shimmer is a confirmed trans-boomer. Welcome to the club, sister! Have some Werthers original and enjoy this link to Stairway to Heaven...
Pinkie is the only one of the Mane Six that could pull off that joke.
This is the entire reason I'm commenting right now. This shit is going to be good...
Ya know, when I first read this I thought to myself "this feels like a bit of a rehash. I hope Firesight puts some sort of english on this thing". I had no idea...
I see Pinkie is a woman of culture as well.
[A portal opens up revealing Roseluck descending from on high to dispense some street justice to this ungrateful hoe]
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People say it's overkill to force someone to have sex as punishment but those people have never met Fleur De Lis. Holy shit, what an ungrateful hoe! I don't even want to hear about Western Civilization or the Magna Carta or any of that fucking crap. If you are constantly giving men expectations and then not giving up anything to them, you are just a raging cunt. And those men are just dumb for wasting time on you.
Sushi is overpriced bullshit for pretentious snobs! And that crab you ate was still probably fake. Aren't you glad you spent 30 dollars for that dross?
Yes, I do speak from experience. Fine dining is a joke.
Hell, it's worse than that. She thinks she's above the rich kids too!
This is a very fascinating democracy. Usually, the jury decides whether or not you're a rapist but this one decides whether or not to rape you. Kinda like the IRS.
That line really underscores for me how terrible she is. Being ungrateful toward someone willing to feed you is a crime in and of itself.
♪♪ I bless the rains down in Zebrica. ♪♪
More like the Temple of Doom!
You tell them, Roseluck! I should mention, the following wasn't actually written by me but Firesight did such a great job, I tweaked one small part of a sentence and called it a day. Gotta hand it to you, Sensei. You read Roseluck well.
Roseluck actually is saving herself for Mister Right in all of my stories but she's saving her eggs, not cutting herself off from the guys who are goodly enough to show a willingness to sleep with her.
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Reading my way through this chapter kinda gave me a moment of clarity about Roseluck: She makes her boyfriends the old-fashioned way -- she earns them, one satisfied lover at a time. Being smoking hot helps but it's by no means Roseluck's greatest asset or even her second. In fact, most any mare could do what Roseluck does if she were willing to take the time to sit down and just deal straight with a guy right from the start about expectations. It's depressing when you think about it for those other mares.
To paraphrase that old well-known Smith Barney marketing slogan: Rose makes her boyfriends the old-fashioned way; she earns them.
Union Boss Roseluck is not going to put up with your substandard scab labor giving her business a bad name! Roseluck certainly would be irritated by some girl or a group of them going around being deliberately horrible to men for the purpose of making some sort of statement. They're fouling the water they all must drink from by creating needless conflict out of a selfish desire to look more important than they really are.
Now we know how Pinkie made that golf club... and her party cannon.
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This is certainly an improvement over the previous version and I like we get to see more of Pinkie's character as it's shown in the sequel. Of course it's only natural for Pinkie to be angry when her talents are insulted only breaking a Pinkie Promise is worse.
Wouldn't then "take a sip of Pepsi while weaing a monocle" be it only fair to have some futa action as well?
Ironic, but don't you worry. You'll find that special someone that you'll just beg for attention like a lost puppy.
This actually might be sweet. Maybe because I'm a into FleurxFancy shipping and was expecting something. Oh well, maybe in the future.
I see her point but wouldn't Rarity also advocate the speciality of the "First Time"? She's romantic at heart.
She's having fun. Channeling her inner Pinkie
I thought she said she's not going to hurt her. A burn like that will never heal.
Really enjoying this. If possible, could you possibly add Maud Pie to the fic? I'd like to see how she would fit in?
I'm not typically one to read mature fanfiction, especially clop, because it tends to mainly focus on the more lewd aspects of it and completely leaving out a story. I can't even rewatch friendship games without being massively uncomfortable after reading this in full (I looked at some of the v1 versions)
The way Sci twi as midnight is written here is purely genius. Although the dialogue is a bit light at times, the drama is outstanding and I could feel the tension the whole way through.
And even though I'm not into the sexual aspects of it, it feels like they have a purpose and aren't just the same things over and over again.
You, author on the internet, have made me enjoy clop. Congrats on being one of the only people to do so.
I was hoping for some breast expansion. Maybe later we can get ass expression, or even some bimbofication since everyone is becoming sex addicts.
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Well, although they weren't like that before, they will be now! Rarity (and everyone else on the CHS side) wouldn't actually be doing any of this except for Midnight's (mostly indirect) influence. She isn't until this chapter casting anything directly on them, but being in the presence of her mating magic alone is affecting them.
It seemed appropriate, given events of Nightmare Night!
Appreciate it! Glad you're enjoying the revamp.
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Thank you! It seemed appropriate to at least show that Pinkamena was already present within her. Pinkie as a blacksmith is mostly my own invention. It actually came from Turnabout Storm, where she made her own golf club and I wondered how. That's what I came up with.
So you really want Fancy Pants and futa, eh? Well, the problem is I have him as an adult here and a patron of both Crystal Prep and CHS. But... given what was said in this chapter, there might still be a way to do it...?
Only another goddess would be worthy of Midnight. But who could that be...?
Not so much in this story, probably, but I think there might still be a way to introduce Fancy Pants in the epilogue or a bonus chapter.
She is indeed, but she's under the influence right now, as it were, and she still wouldn't like the fact that Fleur doesn't actually have any intention of putting out for anyone and is just using guys for a fast ride or meal ticket.
Or maybe she's just remembering her favorite game series, Ace Attorney!
On behalf of Midnight, thank you! Glad you liked the latest and I'll try to come up with a few more burns in future chapters!
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I'm glad! Add Maud? Hmmm... well, I don't know if you've read Nightmare Night, which is this story's sequel, but the pony version figures fairly prominently there. As for this one? Sure, I'll find a way to bring her in, even if just temporarily. I have an idea of how she might appear, if not immediately how she might participate in sexytimes.
10586353
Heh. Well, I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not! Actually, yes, I do have a regret. Honestly, as I revamp this story, I see how lacking the original version of it was. it was (and is) my most popular story, but honestly? The initial version didn't get that good until that end; I rushed through it too quickly and didn't really justify what was happening with individual characters well enough. I didn't really take time to explore or explain things at all, as you see I'm doing now. But then again, if I can look at my stuff from just a few years ago and grimace, that means I've made solid progress as a writer in the meantime.
Why, thank you! Still too light? I've made it a point for the revamped story to have a lot more dialogue and back-and-forth than before. Still not enough, though? Well, I'm very glad to hear you're enjoying the drama aspect of it! Rest assured, there's plenty more to come.
Thanks again! I try very hard to not be repetitive in my stuff. Which is often not easy in clopfiction when you're talking about more extended stories like this.
<takes a bow> I consider that very high flattery! Then if I may be so bold: why not check out my other adult works, including this story's sequel, Nightmare Night? You'll find that drama and character development and extremely varied scenes are the highlight of my works, and that I always try to justify what's happening--make the clop fit the plot instead of the other way around. In Nightmare Night especially, there's a ton of story, drama, worldbuilding and character development, even with and during the clop. If you're ready for more but don't want to wait for the next chapter here, give it a try!
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Do you mean expression or expansion? Not really into bimbofication, sorry, since I prefer my ladies to have smarts and personality. That doesn't mean they can't get a few enhancements and addicted to sex, though!
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I was actually referring to human Maud Pie. She could've come to watch the friendship games and gets caught up in the fun. But it would be interesting to see how pony Maud interacts with the humans. Also, could you possibly add in the extremely adorable OC known as Fluffle Puff?
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I meant human Maud. I’ll see about bringing her in. And sadly, I just had an idea which might be the perfect way to let her join in on the fun. As for Fluffle Puff, I think I’ll have to pass for two reasons. First, I don’t know enough about her and second, with apologies, she just doesn’t appeal to me. But you may consider Maud a go.
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Yeah I meant expansions. I typed that on my phone and the damn autocorrect gave me expressions for some reason
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I know it's not your thing, so I really do appreciate you being a trooper and still going through it, leaving your usually array of comments and suggestions. I find it flattering that you still enjoy reading it even though you're not into the clop, excepting the odd moment here and there. As it happens, someone else in the comments said that they read for the well-written drama as opposed to the clop, as they didn't like clop. (10586353) That the story attracts such readers is very high praise to me.
Well, that too! Your works and canon are too good *not* to reference! And besides, I thought you'd enjoy reading more if you had some friends and familiar characters to visit with along the way. There will be more to come!
By which you mean me and Cloppy. It's very flattering yet again to be mentioned in the same breath as him!
Thanks! And here I thought I wasn't interested in doing gay human scenes... but these were a real turn-on!
Or actually, looking at you, Twilight, in TLaTU, though it was Starswirl who explained the effect.
All while she yells at the other students to turn down their music and get off her lawn. I do like me some Werthers, though...
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And be believed! Actually, you were the one who gave the idea, when you made the joke in a google doc comment. I was originally going to save it for later, but I was ready for more guy-on-guy action immediately and needed a lead in to make the CHS boys go at it!
So glad you approve! I didn't think you'd go for it, but once again, rewriting the scene and incorporating your favorite character helped!
You truly didn't! At a guess, I only kept about 20% of the original scene and then wrote a much more extended sequence on top of it to really drive home what kind of girl Fleur was and why nobody liked her.
Not so much that as, being the confection-making and confectionary-working girl that she is, she loves the taste of marshmallows! Haven't used *that* joke in a while...
Bequeath us thy godly wisdom and dispense thy sexual wrath, mighty Roseluck!
Basically, it's supposed to be a two-way street and she's only interested in one-way. She has no intention of putting out for anyone, ever. Why bother when they're all beneath her and she can use her looks and breeding alone to get whatever she wants? If it hadn't been Midnight, she would eventually done it to the wrong person. Considering what could have happened, she should be very glad it was Midnight who punished and changed her thinking (as much later in the story will show) first.
I will have to disagree. I LOVE sushi. Good sushi is honestly Japanese soul food. It makes you feel good to eat, especially when paired with sake, which is arguably the smoothest wine in existence. Served warm, it feels so good going down.
Sorry. Mine have generally been better, but I'm picky about where I go. I have been to pretentious places, but also some where you truly did get what you paid for.
Like Midnight says, she thinks she's above everyone, and their only purpose is to serve her. That's what she makes her dates do.
Except in the case if the IRS, it's just usually bored bureaucrat spinning a roulette wheel of taxpayers to audit, playing both judge and jury.
Exactly. Even a wild animal doesn't do that.
Hey, I even gave Zecora a cameo here!
Now only the second-worst of the Indiana Jones movies.
You tell 'er, Rose!
Good stuff. I'm kind of sorry I didn't incorporate this now! Maybe I still will.
Thanks! Your stuff has given me plenty of study in how to properly portray her. The most we got out of them in canon was fainting, after all, aside from one interesting little joke cameo of an Alicorn Roseluck!
There you are. She's just putting off procreation, not fun, and maybe giving guys an audition for the former while she does the latter.
The only difference between them is that Roseluck has grasped some simple truths that many never do. She makes no pretensions about who she is or what she likes, and she doesn't play games--unless, that is, she's in a heat and she's hired you from a human consort agency to fulfill a desperate fantasy of hers. If only she didn't accidentally do it all in Lily's bedroom!
I can still hear his voice clearly even without clicking the link. Nowadays, people just want to be given money from others.
You got it. Modern Feminists would love Fleur. Which is reason enough to hate her.
You got that right! And rumor says she's currently building an upgrade in the form of a party howitzer in her home workshop...
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Kind of. You see Ive been reading that fic where a side plot Fleur is in secret relationship with older Fancy and I find it quite an interesting take on them. Plus Fleur in it is way nicer and likeable and got me invested in the character.
And the futa, I just thought it would be a fiting after she had been treating people "equally". With the same level of contempt. Girl on girl is great!
I feel like she would like a tall dominating gal with troubled past and history of antisocial behaviour but had eventually come around and with weakness for leather and edginess. Hmmm, Tempest?
Right. Rarity is generosity. All take and no give must be repulsive to her.
Is she a gamer!? This calls for an intense yet completly innocent night of playing video games with Sunset Shimmer. All night long. At Sunset's house. Twi's parents might have some complaints about the noise, otherwise.
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I see. Well, I do have something of a redemption intended for Fleur after all this is done that may yet worm its way into Nightmare Night as well.
Maybe I'm not understanding. I initially thought you meant you wanted Fleur to be a futa with Fancy, but now I'm not so sure. It almost sounds like you want Fancy to be a futa? Or am I completely misreading this?
Heh. Tempest is tempting and the best thing that came out of the movie (which I otherwise didn't much like outside of how pretty it was for various reason), but sadly, she doesn't have the power with that broken horn.
There you go. So in her magic-influenced mind, she's being generous to others just then by showing herself.
Well, we've already seen that the Humane 7 play video games at slumber parties! And as for Sci-Twi, you'd think she has some hobbies! Puzzle/mystery solving games would probably be right up her alley, so...
As for funtimes, it's been established over in Nightmare Night that to the point the story has reached, Sci-Twi doesn't do anything sexy because she's terrified of letting Midnight loose. But because she doesn't act out, Midnight does, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if she emerges when Twilight is sleeping to do stuff with the others and perhaps block their memories of it afterwards.
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I meant something like throwing Fleur into a pile of extra horny futa girls. Nothing with Fancy.
Ohh, Sunset mentioned something about happening at Camp Everfree.
Hey, purely hypothetical question - how would Twi's parents feel/deal with her "condition"?
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Oh, I see now. Hmmm... well, she's spoken for now, but maybe down the line.
Indeed she did. I'll leave that to your imagination for now except to say it was Midnight who took down Gloriosa, and did so sexily.
Good question. In all honesty, I can't say I've considered it. I could think of a range of answers going from benign ignorance to something far more naughty given this is Midnight we're talking about. I'll have to give it some thought.
Ok she's got a complex and a thot
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Big time. But Midnight will deal with that very effectively.