Is all of the sex going to be f/f? Or did I already ask this?

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Not all of it. There’s plenty of F/F, but plenty of other flavors too.

“Oh! Would you?” Sour Sweet shouted between kisses of Indigo, the pair clutching at each other as they neared their latest orgasm, backlit by a fresh eruption of lava on the other side of the dragon portal. “That alone would make this whole sex-crazy day worth it!” she said as she exchanged a high-hoof with Indy, to which Sour Sweet’s only reaction was a raised middle finger in their direction.

Methinks you made a mistake here.

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Methinks you are correct. Thanks for pointing it out. It’s fixed now.

This is a nice chapter and it seems that Sour Sweet will be taught to change her opinion about stallionhoods. It's also interesting that none of the Shadowbolts actually like each other they mostly seem to loathe all others in their school. I wonder how much Juniper knows about the mirror portal and I would guess that the Juniper Neptune who lived at the same time as Starswirl didn't like the wizard very much.

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We all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo.

Besides, you didn’t fight us, filly.

Sour has a few wires crossed. I mean, I suspected as such, but still.

“Are you trying to destroy all reality, Sparkle?” she asked in an uncharacteristically shaky voice.
“Now why would I do that?"

"Oh gosh, I don't know what made me think you would. Maybe it was the tears in spacetime!"

She liked them. It’s how she marked her favorite girls!

Well, that's legitimately revolting. Of course, I feel that way about any instance of Cinch in a sexual context.

You believe that by creating a naked singularity, I have in fact opened an accessible Einstein-Rosen bridge.

I mean, hasn't she been opening them all this time?

I think it was called the ergosphere? Or at this point, should that be the erogenousphere?

"Booo! Leave the jokes to the professionals, Sunset!"

In any case, wasn't expecting high-energy physics, but I'm certainly not complaining. Here's hoping the next installment and Lemon Zest give you an easier time.

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I wonder how much Juniper knows about the mirror portal

These days, JN is very friendly with the ponies and shares intel on dimensional portals so she knows all about the mirror portal to the EqG world. Back in Starswirl's time? The JN of that time almost certainly hated him, along with all the rest of ponykind. They saw themselves as the master race of their day and attitudes only began to soften after the Pony/Griffon War depicted in Firefly.

Hmm, preferred seeing Sour frightened to the point of wetting herself, but looking good so far.

And just out of curiosity, how come no one's expressing concerns about getting knocked up?

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This is a nice chapter and it seems that Sour Sweet will be taught to change her opinion about stallionhoods.

I don’t think I’m giving much away to say that’s part of the planned outcome, yes.

It's also interesting that none of the Shadowbolts actually like each other they mostly seem to loathe all others in their school.

It’s a product of the school itself, and more specifically, Cinch’s leadership. Like Sugarcoat said, it was a completely poisonous and cutthroat environment where individual achievement was prized above all, so as a result, they basically climbed all over each other both academically and socially, and it was a given that you tried to tear others down in the process. Again, I don’t think I’m giving much away to say that this whole sex-soaked affair will finally start to change that.

I wonder how much Juniper knows about the mirror portal and I would guess that the Juniper Neptune who lived at the same time as Starswirl didn't like the wizard very much.

I pointed AJ_Aficionado at this comment. Juniper is his OC, so I’ll let his reply on the subject stand.

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We all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo.

Indeed we do. I’m usually appalled by how many skipped words and typos I have in a chapter like this when I do an editing pass! But it’s hard not to have them when you’re... distracted.

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Besides, you didn’t fight us, filly.

Sour has a few wires crossed. I mean, I suspected as such, but still.

Yep, just like the rest of her classmates, though she’s worse than most. Still, I wanted to give her more reason for being punished this time other than her being pissed at Twilight archery struggles. If she was saved by Midnight for second-to-last, it had to be because she was second-worst.

“Are you trying to destroy all reality, Sparkle?” she asked in an uncharacteristically shaky voice.
“Now why would I do that?"

"Oh gosh, I don't know what made me think you would. Maybe it was the tears in spacetime!"

That’s not bad! I’ve added a modified version of it to the story. Thanks!

She liked them. It’s how she marked her favorite girls!

Well, that's legitimately revolting. Of course, I feel that way about any instance of Cinch in a sexual context.

She does have a following, but I’ve been careful to keep her scenes lower-key.

You believe that by creating a naked singularity, I have in fact opened an accessible Einstein-Rosen bridge.

I mean, hasn't she been opening them all this time?

Well, to a point, but the reason it’s easy for her now is because the two dimensions are entangled in some metaphysical way that isn’t true for other realms. You’ll see the point made later. The naked singularity would enable her to travel through time and even into entirely unrelated universes. You’ll see this ability made use of next chapter, to Sour Sweet’s mingled pleasure and punishment.

I think it was called the ergosphere? Or at this point, should that be the erogenousphere?

"Booo! Leave the jokes to the professionals, Sunset!"

“I’m a unicorn-turned-human, not a comedian, damn it!”

In any case, wasn't expecting high-energy physics, but I'm certainly not complaining.

Consider it the clopfic PSA like they used to do at the end of old 80s cartoons.

Here's hoping the next installment and Lemon Zest give you an easier time.

Agreed. Oddly enough, Lemon Zest is probably the one punishment I won’t change that much, just because I really liked what I did with it the first time. But now I have to step away from this for a bit to work on Nightmare Night in advance of its four-year anniversary on Halloween.

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Hmm, preferred seeing Sour frightened to the point of wetting herself, but looking good so far.

Thanks. And sorry, but like I said in an earlier blog, the Sour Sweet chapter was probably my least favorite of the original version. This time around, I wanted to give more justification for her punishment than her simply being pissed over Twilight’s archery struggles. If Midnight saved her for second-to-last, it had to be because she was second-worst among the Shadowbolt girls.

The other issue I had was same as the other chapters in that I really didn’t let her personality shine through even despite what was happening to her. I’ve taken pains to correct that for all characters as I go. Look at the back-and-forth barbs and banter here for evidence of that. My prereaders said that’s what sold the chapter this go around.

And just out of curiosity, how come no one's expressing concerns about getting knocked up?

Because mostly, there’s not much chance for it. Most of the Shadowbolts are either 1) in same-sex affairs with each other like Indy and Sunny or the Shadowbolt boys, or 2) only being virtually/magically screwed like Sugarcoat and Upper Crust. Fleur de Lis is the only one right now in any danger of that, and Midnight’s mating magic kind of cancels out those concerns.

On the other side of the field, most of the Wonderbolts and the Humane 6 are also in the same-sex affairs, excepting those doing Fleur and the dragons doing Pinkie and Rarity. I imagine that they assume they can’t be impregnated by the drakes given the radically different species, but if you like, I’ll take pains to address that in a future chapter.

Yeah, this might be an unpopular opinion, but this chapter feels unnecessarily bloated now.

For one, while I like how SourSweet has her field of expertise, all the talk about it was kind of a downer. For Comparision, the old version didn't as much explain Midnight's feats as it implied to everyone else. Sunset explained it, but it was because she was more in awe and kept it for herself, and it was more for the readers. Kind of, Show Don't tell situation.

Then there is Juniper. I mean, I like hot pseudo-vampire like everyone else, she feels forced for the sake of inclusion. Especially when it comes out that she knew about humans, the Earth and even had close encounters with them, which is like giving her too much knowledge when even Celestia's was limited. And all that butt-kissing between her and Midnight... yeah... There is a word on this I don't want to use.

And lastly, all the commentary from other students. I can't tell if they are still on some action with each other, or they just stopped doing everything and watched what Midnight's up to.

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Yeah, this might be an unpopular opinion, but this chapter feels unnecessarily bloated now.

Good to hear from you. I was kind of surprised I hadn’t to this point. And sorry to hear. I thought the chapter came out very well, myself.

For one, while I like how SourSweet has her field of expertise, all the talk about it was kind of a downer. For Comparision, the old version didn't as much explain Midnight's feats as it implied to everyone else. Sunset explained it, but it was because she was more in awe and kept it for herself, and it was more for the readers. Kind of, Show Don't tell situation.

I get what you’re saying, and yeah, the new version of the story has struggled with that at times. It’s just hard to do that in the format I’m using, so I have to resort to all sorts of contrivances I have to ask the readers to overlook in the name of clop. But against that, the old version of the story wasn’t as big on individual personalities or reactions to what was happening to them except in the most shallow sense, and each girl was somewhat forgotten after their own individual chapters. Sorry if I overcompensated here.

And yeah, I did worry about the science aspect overshadowing the sex, but I guess part of me wanted to delve into it a bit. I just figured that if I made this a two-parter, I could use this for setup, introducing JN and the naked singularity to enable a bigger payoff--the full punishment--to come in the following chapter. It may be a distraction, but I’m having a hard time seeing it as a downer, though.

Then there is Juniper. I mean, I like hot pseudo-vampire like everyone else, she feels forced for the sake of inclusion. Especially when it comes out that she knew about humans, the Earth and even had close encounters with them, which is like giving her too much knowledge when even Celestia's was limited. And all that butt-kissing between her and Midnight... yeah... There is a word on this I don't want to use.

Ouch. Well, the main purpose here was actually to set up something for later in Nightmare Night. The next NMN chapter will address some of this. And as for Celly, keep in mind that this is an AU and isn’t exactly based on show canon. Case in point, I’ve said repeatedly that I hate what they did to Celly and Luna in the final few seasons, making them useless figureheads. Not so here.

To paraphrase Darth Vader, “I’m altering show canon to suit my story. Pray I alter it further.”

And lastly, all the commentary from other students. I can't tell if they are still on some action with each other, or they just stopped doing everything and watched what Midnight's up to.

Huh. I thought it made pretty clear that they were still doing their respective sexual acts, but I can go back through the chapter and try to make it more so if you like. It’s been noted by Sunset repeatedly in previous chapters that Midnight imparted heightened awareness to everyone to make sure they (chiefly, the Shadowbolt students she was punishing) could see and experience everything, even in the middle of whatever they were doing. She wanted them fully aware of their sexual subjugation and those around them, after all, and the effect leaked into the CHS side as well. Yes, it’s a contrivance. But I need it to write the story this way.

Well, regardless, thanks for replying, and I’m sorry you didn’t like it. Hopefully the next chapter will make up for it a bit. It gets a little hard to one-up previous chapters as this goes along (Nightmare Night has the same problem), and I guess the methods I choose don’t always work for everyone.

If you like, I will let you preread the next chapter so you can offer input up front and maybe address some of these issues going forward.

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Yeah, it's a little late to comment. Life's been hectic lately. It's calmer now.

It's not that the science talk is the turn-off, just the format. Personally, I like when science and information are tangled into the story. Learn something everyday.

Case in point, I’ve said repeatedly that I hate what they did to Celly and Luna in the final few seasons, making them useless figureheads. Not so here.

To be fair, they always stayed away from the main plot and the action was left for the Mane 6 (it was even lampshaded in the last season). It makes some sense from narrative point. When you have the ultimate powerhouse (and with brain to match) the writers have to come up with ways for them, to not solve the problem in 5 minutes or less. The question is then "How?" And sometimes it might be annoying.

It’s been noted by Sunset repeatedly in previous chapters that Midnight imparted heightened awareness to everyone to make sure they (chiefly, the Shadowbolt students she was punishing) could see and experience everything, even in the middle of whatever they were doing.

I get that one. Just I don't think anyone would want take a break (even if it last 5 seconds) to throw a snappy comment, in the middle of sex. Especially with so much pheromones in the air. Wanting to give everyone screentime is admirable and should be sought, but shouldn't be forced.

If you like, I will let you preread the next chapter so you can offer input up front and maybe address some of these issues going forward.

I'm... not sure if I could be any help. I can try though. It might be fun.

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I have never known you to follow canon when it comes to Celestia. While I understand MSie's views and respect a man willing to offer constructive criticism to an author, I would offer that it's up to him to explain why canon must be respected in an alternate universe setting and what he means when he says Juniper Neptune feels like forced inclusion.

Also, this I just me but he should get an avatar. Everyone should have an avatar. It's a few seconds out of your day to get one and just about anything is an improvement over the fimfiction default.

Was just about to comment about how I could swear I had read this before, then I noticed the V2 in all the chapter titles. Really enjoyed the original and will definitely take a look at the rewrite when it's finished. Though IMO you should note in the description that this is being rewritten so people who have read it before don't get confuzzled like me.

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Was just about to comment about how I could swear I had read this before, then I noticed the V2 in all the chapter titles. Really enjoyed the original and will definitely take a look at the rewrite when it's finished. Though IMO you should note in the description that this is being rewritten so people who have read it before don't get confuzzled like me.

Apologies. I’ve added a note to the story description now.

Long story short—I’ve been working on redoing the story chapter-by-chapter for nearly a year now, deciding it needed not just a cleanup but a massive revamp. I use my blogs to keep readers informed of what’s happening, including my efforts here. If you track the story, you should see them in your feed.

The old version of the story is still available, linked in the author’s notes of the first -v2 chapter. The chapters were unpublished but are still reachable by clicking a link and entering a password. In any event, it’s going to be a while before the updated story is finished again, given the effort I’m putting into this along with all the other stuff I’m working on, so I’d invite you not to wait.

For as much as folks like the old version of Midnight Rising, I truly believe version 2 is even better. You’ll find plenty of new scenes and races featured, with much-more expanded punishments and a lot of additional back-and-forth. I wanted to take pains to make sure that this time, the true and unaffected personalities of the Shadowbolt girls in particular shone through and didn’t change no matter what Midnight was doing to them.