Tick 1: The clock restarts
Tick 1: The Clock Restarts
Equestria: Canterlot Castle Garden 1004 A.D.(After Discord)
[Nox’s POV]
The days continue to pass by so slowly as I remain frozen in place due to this time stasis I’ve been trapped in for over a thousand years. That sudden blast from the elements of harmony by those damn princesses caught me off guard, I didn’t properly adjust the wakfu fluctuations to counter the blast of so called “harmony” magic and speed up my time so I could escape but luckily they were able to escape the wrath of these accursed pony princesses.
Even though I am/was a brony I never did like Celestia, and after our first encounter I’d say I was right on the bit.
Everyday my anger grows and so does my power, if it wasn’t for the music player modifications I made to my Nox mask I might have gone crazy….well crazier, I can’t say I was sane to begin with what with my earlier life experience and all the jazz. It’s funny when I think about it, I was trapped by my own powers and the elements to be frozen in time “forever” yet every passing day I absorb the wakfu that I am still generating everyday and it only increases my own limits and my prison gets weaker. My powers have already completely trumped the combined might of the Co-rulers of Equestria.
I’ve been planning what I would do once I escape with as many contingencies that I could work in since being trapped for a millennium gives you a lot of time to think. I’m extremely thankful for my hindsight or paranoia that I made my mask immune to time related effects without my intention, because of this my mask was fully functional allowing me to use the computer to analyze the energy properties of the elements.
It’s been easier to do this ever since Discord suffered his second defeat by the elements and kept his mouth shut from depression, I did advise him to change his plan since his original Idea was to throw a never ending amount of pies at them. All I did was tell him to split up the new bearers of harmony and corrupt the element they represent, true I may have been doing this to keep the storyline intact but it’s not a bad plan when you think about it, but his moping was starting to affect me, “Hey Discord, you want to hear a song?”
“...”
“I know it’ll cheer you up so I’m gonna play it anyways it is a song about you after all”
I had a smirk in my mind as I could feel him getting happier, it is an awesome song after all, as soon as the song ended a pony tour group came to our little spot in the garden, but this wasn’t any regular tour group, this one was being led by none other than Celestia’s little teacher’s pet Twilight Sparkle and her friends, sans Spike.
“Girls I’m tell you there’s something wrong with Cadance.” Twilight sounded pretty upset….Cadance? OH! It’s the wedding invasion, and such perfect timing too since I was ending this stasis today.
“Now sugarcube are ya sure you just ain’t lookin too deep into this?” Ah, the country twang of Applejack.
“I have to agree with Applejack on this dear, after all wedding days are so emotionally exhausting for the bride and groom” Rarity just backing up Applejack’s claim
“Yea, I’m sure Cadance just has her nerves rattled, not everypony can be as fearless as The Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow dash striking a pose while boasting, how Rainbow dash of her, I seriously can’t stand her because of her personality! This of course earns an eyeroll from everyone.
And from there just keep on talking while I zone them out until Fluttershy notices me on my pedestal and jumps about two feet in the air from freight. This catches the attention of all the mares and once she landed back do she pointed a shaky hoof at me while hiding behind her mane.
“W-w-w-what i-is that.” She’s even quieter than I thought, with that said all eyes are pointed toward me and Twilight goes into her infamous lecture mode.
“This is Nox or Noximilien Chronos, one of the greatest and most powerful magic users to have existed. With powers so great it was said that he could bend time to his will, and with knowledge so vast he was capable of creating great marvels without the use of magic and they could do things we’ve never heard of.”
There were stars in her eyes as she spoke about me, hmm I could use this to my advantage later in the future, but they soon disappeared when she continued.
“It was said that he was a ruthless monster of an unknown species that appeared out of nowhere and attacked anypony in sight and was trying to take over Equestria by stealing the magic of everypony and was able to fight the princesses to a standstill until he was stopped by them using the elements of harmony.”
That is some grade A bullshit that’s tainting my ears, I NEVER attacked unless it was in self defence or the protection of others, those ponies were so damn xenophobic they would think their own shadows are monsters and I never ruthlessly stole their magic, I just absorbed some of the ambient magic from the air and the energy that the ponies release from a distance and only the minimum so they wouldn’t feel any after effects from it.
*Gasp* “Such an uncivilized brute!” Rarity is such a drama queen, or such I say princess since queens hardly exist in Equestria.
“Pfff, that freak doesn’t look that tough. I bet I could beat him with two hooves tied behind my back and with my eyes close.” Rainbow dash’s arrogance always gets on my nerves, I can’t wait to teach her humility later on.
“So he was a meany pants” awww Pinkie Pie is so adorable when she pouts.
“Well he don’t sound like the most pleasant o’ fellows does he?” Applejack just decides to throw her two bits in.
“Oh my.” was all Fluttershy could say.
“Well there were some good effects from Nox, after studying one of his designs we were able to create trains, ovens, and even streetlights!” After Twilight said that they moved on, but while they moved on my mind was stuck on one thing…..those fuckers stole my designs…...THEY STOLE MY MOTHER FUCKING DESIGNS AND CLAIMED IT AS THEIR OWN!
One of the things I hate is when people steal from me, I remember when that one asshole took my 3ds from me and held a knife at my throat, he wasn’t planning on killing me, just trying to scare me. Lets just say I gave him nightmares and he took three years of therapy and I had to take more anger management classes. I can’t believe they took my designs….yes I can, Celestia and Luna(mostly Celestia) would do whatever it takes to make life better for her little ponies, like all the little secrets she's kept from her ponies that I discovered thanks to my Noxines and they probably kept up their spying and have been keeping track of the dirty little secrets she’s made while I was trapped.
[1 hour later]
*Tick tock* Hahahaha that’s the sound I’ve been waiting to hear for a thousand years, the time stasis is finally gone and with great timing, the changelings are breaking through the shield, I wonder if they still remember me.
“Oooooooooh my god that feels so good!” stretching can feel so orgasmic sometimes I see why cats love it. “Hey Discord, I’ll see you later dude, you’ll be free in due time, I promise you that.” with that said I begin my trek out of the garden “Now that I’m free I believe it’s time to get a bit serious.”
I’ve been walking for 5 minutes and 28 seconds without seeing a single pony in sight, I made sure to keep my true base hidden along with all my weapons and the Eliacube so there was no need to go to the vault, not yet anyways.
“Finally, made it to the street.” the main road was full of changelings attacking ponies, smoking craters, destroyed builds, just a lot of chaos in general. I sigh in sadness thinking back “I could’ve prevented all this, if only I was better...” I look at the swarm of changelings overrunning the pony capital, holes in every single one of them. Holes on a changeling means they’ve been starving for quite sometime.
“I will amend my failures” I whispered to myself at I walk towards the castle.
As I’m walking the changelings and ponies pause as they see my tall figure that surpasses Celestia, the mouths of what I’m assuming to be every changeling dropped as they all whispered the same thing in disbelief
“savior”,
“it’s the savior”,
“I thought he was a myth”,
“the queen needs to know”,
“what’s he going to do now?”
After hearing that last one I decided to make a call. “Connect to base.”
[Attempting connection…….connection established] “I don’t believe” spoke a female voice on the other end that was just filled with so much sarcasm I could choke on it, “what took you so long to get free, I’ve been dying of boredom here and I’m an A.I.!”
“You know, I’m actually so happy right now that I’m glad to hear your voice and your pain in the ass sarcasm.” I replied in an equal level tone “but it’s nice to know you care anyways could you send over my clock airship?”
“Done, it’ll pinpoint your location and be there in a few minutes anything else you need?”
“Hmmm, food, for myself and an army of changelings”
“It’ll increase the eta but I can have the lab synthesize some love based wakfu”
“Perfect! I’ll be waiting”
“By the way…...welcome back Leon.”
I made a gentle smile under my mask that I couldn’t help after hearing that heartwarming sentiment “Thanks V.” [Connection End] with that finished I make a direct march to the castle, “I guess I’ll have to mess with the timeline now if I want to make a better future for everyone.”
(Canterlot Castle)
[Chrysalis POV]
Finally, after so many years revenge will be mine, years of fear, isolation, starvation, and pain. Celestia has been decrowned and is hung up like a trophy in her cocoon, Shining’s love for Cadence has amplified my strength, the elements have been captured, the day, and soon all over Equestria will be ours!
“My love will give you strength” Cadence is still desperately clinging to hope that their love will prevail.
“Hahaha, what a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment” It’s so ironic watching them suffer like we did.
Unfortunately for me I should’ve taken it seriously since their love energy was amplifying their power. No, it can’t end like this. They were reaching their peak I was about to lose after all this work all the planning, for nothing, when suddenly a familiar ball of blue energy about the size of a gumball shot pass my vision and stopped in between the two lover.
“Wha” was all they could say before it expanded instantly and blew them away from each other.
“Tsk tsk, I’ve told you not to underestimate others Chrissy.”
I stood there trembling in disbelief, it just isn’t possible, everyone turned their heads toward the source of the voice and eyes were popping out of heads at who was standing there.
The shock was wearing off for me and all I was feeling were tears of joy ready to spill over and a warmth in my chest something I haven’t felt in centuries, happiness“Grandad?”
[Celestia’s POV]
I can’t believe what my eyes are seeing, I pray to Faust that this is just a horrible nightmare, but plain as day standing there with power flowing out of him was “Nox.” Equestria just might be doomed if he is truly enrage after being trapped for over a millennium, I truly hope he’ll be merciful.
[Nox POV]
“Grandad” as soon as Chrysalis said those words I felt a twinge in my old heart at see those tears on her face threatening to spill.
“Sorry I’m late Chrissy, so can this old man get a hug from his granddaughter?” as I went on one knee she was a black and green blur as she slammed into my chest crying her eyes out, so I just started stroking her mane telling her I won’t be leaving her again so soon.
“N-n-n-n-nnn-Nox?” Twilight must’ve been having a hard time thinking straight after all that’s happened.
So I glared at her “Could you wait like 2 more minutes, we’re having a moment here.” that shut her up quite nicely. Soon enough Chrissy lets go of me. “So what’d I miss” you can just feel the cheesy grin on my face even with this mask.
“Oh you know, we’ve just been starving for a few centuries after you were taken from us, rejected from pony society at times hunted and killed for being the monsters we are, plotted revenge so we could make them suffer like we did and take over Equestria, nothing too big”, she did not skip a beat on that.
“Huh, it must be a wednesday.” she just chuckled at my lame reply “Well Chrissy it’s time for us to go.” She looked at me with confusion all over her face
“Go? But we’re winning and we can’t lose now that you’re here! Why should we stop now when we’ve come so close?” She was definitely confused and without a doubt upset that I forcing her to leave.
“Well for one, if I didn’t show up you and every changeling in the city would’ve been blasted away by Shining and Cadence’s love” she looked away with an embarrassed blush after that “and two, I have plans for the future and I still need Equestria. I’m not going to talk about them now”
After that she conceded “Fine.” I pat her head earning a small giggle from her. She’s still a child at heart,
“Good now tell everyling to get ready to board my airship and they better have an appetite.” That earned an ear to ear grin from her, then she was gone in faster than a blink. As I turned to walk out I heard an annoying voice that grinded my nerves.
“HEY! Do you really think we’re just gonna let you get away with destroying Canterlot?!” Rainbow dash should really learn to shut up. “You and your monsters came out of nowhere and started ruining everypony’s lives!” Something snapped in me but I didn’t show it.
“Hey Rainbow dash, how about I make you an offer” this surprised all the ponies.
“What kind of offer?” I knew she would be curious, and I know she can’t resist a challenge.
“A fight between me and you, you said you could beat me with two hooves tied behind your back, but let's not do that, I win we leave and you’ll stop being so cocky, you win and I’ll order the changelings to surrender to the one and only Rainbow dash. So what do you say?” Judging from the stars in her eyes and the cocky grin on her face she thought she could beat me and be the hero that stopped the Canterlot invasion
“DEAL!”
“Rainbow Dash NO!” all her friends and Celestia shout in worry, she’s just too easy to bait.
“Don’t worry you guys I can handle this freak” Rainbow dash puffed out her chest with pride as she said that, I was just going to humiliate her, now I’m going to break her.
“The first move is yours Rainbow CRASH.” That did its job of pissing her off and charging in blindly, she rushed me so fast she was starting to form her mach cone, but she was still too slow to me. All I did was side step and she crashed into the wall hard.
“RAINBOW!” her friends just scream her name in horror. I think I heard some crunching, so I just laughed
“Hahahaha well the ‘Crash’ part of your name is very fitting”
“Cheapshot! Why don't you stand still and fight me like a stallion!” man she was pissed, once she climbed out her impression in the wall I scanned her with my mask and saw she had 3 broken ribs and her left hind leg was fractured. I’m surprised she got out of that with so little injury. Like the hothead she is she rushed me again, this time I wasn’t going to move. She flew as fast as she could forming another cone and aimed her right hoof at me, so I just stood there and caught it in my left hand. The shockwave that followed knocked all the ponies off their hooves, and I caught it without so much as a flinch. Rainbows dropped jaw was so worth it then she saw the bored look on my face since my mask has movable eyelids and started getting angry.
“Are you done throwing your punches yet? I think it’s my turn now” the look of fear on her face was priceless. So I crushed her hoof in my hand and she let out a horrible scream of pain, my next target was her jaw which connected with my right hook.
She went silent after that but she was still conscious, so I brought her up to eye level and told her “I am not ruthless unless you make me, your cocky, brash, hotheaded, ignorant, and arrogant nature may get you and/or your friends killed and you’ve never considered that. Could you really handle it if your friends died because you thought you were the best and started talking a big game? You are not the fastest, you’re not the strongest, and you sure as hell aren’t fearless”
This brought tears to her eyes, and I poked a certain spot in between her wings and gently put her down, I could’ve thrown her but I think I’ve broken her enough.
“You MONSTER!”
“You’re a super duper meany pants!”
“How could you?”
“QUIET!” with that I silenced the room. “She agreed to the fight and she lost. You ponies just love calling others different from you freaks and monsters don’t you? Well I have one word for you ‘Perspective’. You all aren’t as kind hearted as you lead yourselves to believe, besides she’ll live. I may be a quote, unquote ‘monster’ to you ponies, but I am not heartless.”
I spoke my peace and left the room but not before I told Celestia with a voice so cold it could give nightmare moon chills “I haven’t forgotten about you Solar Tyrant.”
As I made my way outside I saw that the changeling swarm had gathered together behind Chrissy and they all watched me with eager eyes.
“I gathered the swarm like you wanted grandad, now what?”
My smile may have went unseen but it was there “Now look up.” As I pointed upwards they followed my finger’s direction and their jaws dropped for what was it the second or third time now, the same could be said for the ponies that remained or the royal guard that were still trying to fight the changelings off. They were all stupefied at the sight of my airship.
“Well is everyone ready to go home and have their bellies fed” Their cheers were all I needed for confirmation. “Beam us up V”
“Booooooooo!”
“Oh hush you.” And so we continue with the next step of my plan.
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thank you kindly sir for doing this and for choosing the Eliacube
The ride never end.
Tank you very much!
Awesome story can't wait to see where you take this.
I hope there more wakfu elements in this story!
Ha ha ha! I loved that! And that entrance! he he he! defiantly looking forward to more!
and wasn't there more Wakfu displaced around here? I though I saw another...
Love it so far
Ahhh the star trek reference and someone booing it
Good very good. But still fall in the blah blah, imprisoned, not truly bad guy, missed understood plot line. Not saying anything wrong with that plot line, just say it seemed like this story could fall in the same old song and dance as other displaced fics. However I found it enjoyable, and a good read. Can't wait to see how it turns out since I have high hopes for this story.
typical ponies
6547743 It's hard to come up with an original concept these days, I could've gone with Nox getting destabilized form the timeline, but I decided that might be overly complex. And thanks for the pressure, I'll do my best, I do have some major plot points planned.
6547198 There will be
6547875 You lost me, which character image are you talking about?
6546521 No problem, Nox was always an interesting character to me
6547096 I can't wait to see where I take it either
6548071 cool! I hope there will be monster or the elicube opening a zap portal to the world~!
Constructive criticism: you could work on your grammar and sentencing. Having an entire paragraph be a single sentence is wrong on every level.
Actual criticism: Your protagonist is an edgy self-insert Mary Sue and nothing in either of these two chapters shows any redeeming factors whatsoever.
LoHAV is a cancerous blight upon this website and should be purged with fire, don't go that route. You can be a better author, and better person.
Everything is uninteresting, even skimming the story feels like a chore, and the constant embedded links and images completely shatters any traces of immersion or flow that this story might've had. If you can't portray it through words, learn to do that instead of using images or the such.
I'm sorry to say it, but this isn't even "so bad it's good", it's just a plain old terrible clichéfest.
6549578 Thank you for the criticism, Nox won't actually be a villian, just seen that way until his goals are revealed. I've been told I should be more descriptive and so I shall do my best on that subject. Lastly, what sort of redeeming factors would you recommend?
6548389 Thanks for pointing that out
6549578 News flash; LOHAV started as good, with several good stories. It was those trying to make poor imitations of them that created the mess of unfinished stories and the abomination called 'Displaced'. So while I agree that most LOHAV stories are no better than dog shit, appreciate the rare gems that came before it was ruined by amateurs.
6550254 Thanks for reminding me. Glad you like the story, but it's far from excellent, I will be making improvement to current and future chapters. I already have the next 5 planned, I just need details and character development.
6549802 Then I guess I don't want to see the coolest thing then because if that mere player was that good then oh my god...
6550059 An actually interesting and fleshed out character, for starters. Yours is a wandering cliché brimming with edginess. I'm serious, he's incredibly one-dimensional and not relatable to in the slightest. It's something a fifteen-year old might consider "edgy and cool", but it's not going to captivate any reader with reasonable standards.
Secondly, it would be nice with more of a substantial plot. This is just "character X goes to Equestria as character Y and things happen." Whilst it may sound interesting in your head, it's not compelling to read about since there aren't any conflicts or goals to look forward to. When writing a story, the first thing you should try and come up with is:
1. A theme - The theme of the story, shouldn't be more than maybe three words. Example: Grief
2. A motive - An important event that's necessary for the plot, for example the murder in a mystery story.
3. A fable - A summary of the events in the story, in chronological order, that does not contain any descriptions of characters, environments or details in general. This one can be a tad tricky, and isn't obligatory. But it can help if you want to spend time and effort into it.
4. A setting - Where should the story take place? Remember that environments can affect the culture and psychology of your characters as well. Example: slums of London, 1942.
This is a decent basis for a story, you can probably use Google to learn more about what these terms mean. And keep in mind: how does your story affect the characters? Character development can really make or break a story, it's important to keep in mind.
Your story is, essentially, the vast majority of all LoHAV stories in existence except with a different coat of paint. Same nonexistent plot and same one-dimensional main character.
A good character is relatable, they would react to situations in a way that, if not like the reader him/herself would react, makes sense and seems logical for that character.
You suffer from the same issues that plague Michael Bay's movies: there's a lot of focus on constant action and things being "cool" or "funny", but as a result the story, characters and actual humour (if you intend to have any) falls flat.
When writing a character, try thinking to yourself "how would I react?" It can help you tone down the over-the-topness and bring your character to a more relatable level.
who?
Like the story so far.
The protagonist is a bit OP atm.
6550330 I ask that you be one of my proofreaders
6550161
It really, really didn't.
6550388 As much as I love helping out other authors, real life is a bit too busy right now, can't even really find time to write my own stuff.
If you need a proofreader, don't be shy to ask around though. The worst that can happen is that you'll get a "no".
6550395 I'm talking about a few stories, not the genre in general. These days, it's shit. Two or five stories were worth reading, only one that i'm reading is the active one while another was completed ages ago. So, Yes, it started as good, but people made it bad. It went bad fast and hard......
6550161
Not entirely true, as the concept itself is heavily flawed.
LoHAV started out, and never actually got anywhere else, as an excuse to write about edgy self-insert Mary Sues. This basis allows for minimal substance in the plot and minimal character development.
At its core, LoHAV is a tool for authors to:
1. Write wish fulfillment stories about self inserts.
And
2. Injure, maim, torture and/or kill characters from the show they happen to very strongly dislike.
This alone actually gives LoHAV stories an "ancestral sin", if you want to get philosophical, whereas they need to prove their quality from a much lower minimal level than a regular fanfiction. Unfortunately, nobody has succeeded in doing this, aside from perhaps one story that took the concept of LoHAV and wrote an absolutely brilliant piece of satire about it, perfectly displaying why and how the entire concept is as flawed as it is.
6550439 I want to read this story
I saw a forum post about this guy on the Hie group a few days ago...
Holy shit, word gets around fast.
6551155 my story? Could I get the link?
6551323 https://www.fimfiction.net/group/20/human-in-equestria/thread/214893/hie-with-time-stoping-powers
Here you go!
6550513 LoHAV isn't a single story, but a large number of stories with the same premise.
It stands for League of Humans Acting Villainous, this is the group dedicated to it:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/204138/league-of-humans-acting-villainous
An active time manipulator besides Max? Holy crap, time to go immerse my self in the relevant lore! That aside, long distance wakfu draining is probably inherently inefficient compared to direct draining. Though, spreading it across an entire population would probably actually improve its efficiency, plus make it harder to track him. Then again, him being mad about his designs being copied is probably distracting him from thinking tactically. Then again, he should of challenged miss speed demon to a race and walked it. Not without abusing his time control of course. Completely crushing her at the one thing she is good at is probably more spirit crushing than getting her friends hurt. Loyalty or not, some one doing the thing that only you are good at to the level where you might as well not even have bothered has to be damning.
6552369 I will be using your ideas, thank you
6552513 Have fun with them!
Any more?
6556800 There will be
6552369 Max?? can i get a link or name of this fic.
6551323
I think that would be me.
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/20/human-in-equestria/thread/214893/hie-with-time-stoping-powers
Your fic so far is exactly what i was looking for, so for now a fav like and waiting for more.
Cheers.
6558113 No, search wakfu and watch the show
6558918 The title is Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey? Nope Just Max
This. Is. AMAZING!!!
I normally don't ask this, but, PLEASE UPDATE SOOOOOOOOOOON!!! 
Heh heh, I'm just excited
6570400 In a week, I promise
6570502
OH MY GURD YUSSSSSSSS!!!!
I enjoy it greatly. The fight against RD was great and fit perfectly. I'm already thrilled for more!
Yay! I'm looking forward to more!
I want mooooore 3,:
6680207 This week after I send it to my proofreader and they finish
6680286 yaaaaaaay~! Thank you author! :D
6680315 I've been quiet 4 too long. The clock shall resume.
6692630 no