Twilight Unsparkled

by Sabby

Chapter 1: Twilight is a Bitch

Twilight Sparkle was feeling extremely confident of herself, being the princess of friendship. She was a princess, after all. During the past few days, she had started looking down on all the others. She was an alicorn. A princess. Something that other ponies merely dreamed to be. The other ponies were nothing to her. They were fans, nothing but stairs for her to reach her position.. higher than Princess Celestia -- that was her goal, to be better than Celestia. As she walked along the streets, she held her head up high with a snobbish air around her. But suddenly, she bumped into someone. She fell to the ground and murmured, "Ouch." As she heard the sound of her body hitting the ground, the impact came to her only a few seconds later.

"Oh, hey, Twilight!" She heard the perky voice of Pinkie Pie say.
She saw Pinkie's pink hoof appear in front of her, and heard her say, "Let me help you up."
Twilight shook her head stubbornly and stood up on her own, going on her way and ignoring Pinkie completely. "Twilight!!!" Pinkie shouted, bouncing next to her. "Twilight, Twilight, Twilight!!" She continued shouting, bouncing from the left side of Twilight to the right side.

Frustrated, Twilight stopped and shouted at the hyperactive Pinkie. "WHAT IS IT?!" Pinkie's mane obviously seemed to deflate as she saw the anger on Twilight's face. "Spike said that Princess Celestia has a letter for you..." Pinkie muttered.

"What is it now?!" Twilight shouted in anger as she made her way towards her castle in Ponyville, leaving Pinkie looking confused and scared behind.
She slammed the door of her castle open as soon as she got there, shouting Spike's name at the top of her lungs. "Yes, Twilight?" Spike said. He held a scroll in his hand, and she guessed that it was the letter.

"Read it to me." She said haughtily.

"Read what to you?" Spike asked, confused.

"The scroll. The letter from Princess Celestia." Twilight said, a tone of annoyance creeping into her voice.

"Oh uh...okay." Spike said, and started reading the scroll aloud.

Dear Twilight,
It is extremely important that you come to Canterlot right now. We're having an important meeting regarding your position. Please come immediately.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

Twilight gasped, a mix of annoyance and happiness. Annoyance, because she had to travel all the way to Canterlot just to meet up with a bunch of princesses which were nothing compared to her, and happiness because 'regarding her position' probably meant that she was going to be promoted.

As she ran to her room, she screamed at Spike ", HURRY AND GO PACK MY STUFF. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING STANDING AROUND?"

Spike dropped the scroll and immediately scurried off to find backpacks...

They were ready now. Everything she needed had been prepared. As she got on the train with Spike, she glanced out of the window, knowing that her decision not to tell her friends were definitely correct. In the dim light of the train, she fell asleep...

Twilight woke up as she felt somepony poking her. Annoyed, she opened her eyes and turned towards the culprit.

"WHAT IS IT NOW?!" She screamed at the culprit, which turned out to be Spike.

"We're in Canterlot now..." Spike muttered, backing away.

"AND?!" Twilight shouted, annoyed.

"And we're supposed to meet up with the other princesses...remember?" Spike said, looking at Twilight with scared eyes.

"Fine." Twilight grumbled as she stood up. "Get the bags," she added as she got out of the train, leaving Spike behind to struggle with the luggage.

As she looked around Canterlot, she smiled to herself. Would this meeting get her into a higher position? Would she be in a higher position than Celestia? She grimaced as she heard Spike falling out of the train's exit, the luggage hitting the floor with a loud thud.

"Be careful with those bags! They're important!" She shouted.

"Yes, Twilight..." Spike muttered as he picked up the bags and dusted dirt off them.

"And don't let your dragon claws ruin the cloth!" Twilight snapped as she started walking.

Spike froze, his left claw in mid-air. He sighed and followed Twilight, who was ignoring the envious looks from other ponies. He groaned slightly as the weight of the bags seemed to get heavier and heavier.

"Are we there yet?" Spike grumbled.

"No, so shut up," Twilight said angrily. Spike groaned again as he saw Twilight stop in front of a shop named "Frostie's Delicacies".

"Mm...I'm in desperate need of some food after that long train ride." Twilight said.

"Can I have some too?" Spike asked.

"NO!" Twilight snapped as she walked into the shop. Spiked sighed and went to some of the nearby tables and set down the bags. He sat on one of the wooden chairs, yawning and wondering if he could hold those bags for a second longer.

Twilight looked at the rows and rows of delicacies available. There were cupcakes, cakes, pies, ice cream, pizza, you name it.

"One purple sprinkled cupcake." She said haughtily to the white pony behind the counter.

"One purple sprinkled cupcake right up!" the pony said cheerfully. "Hey, Spongie, go get a purple sprinkled cupcake," the pony shouted to someone near the door.

"I told you not to call me that, Frostie!" the other pony said before entering another room which was supposedly the kitchen. Twilight studied the pony before her with great interest. With puffy hair like Pinkie, she seemed to be Pinkie's relative or something. Her white coat could be said as shining, and the yellow streaks in her light pink hair was certainly striking. If it wasn't for the fact that none of Pinkie's lowly relatives could come to Canterlot, she would have certainly believed that this pony - Frostie - was Pinkie's relative.

"Here's your purple sprinkled cupcake!" Frostie said, snapping Twilight out of her thoughts. Twilight grabbed the cupcake and put the money on the counter, taking a delicate bite out of the cupcake. Frostie was looking at her with an eager face, wanting to know if she thought the cupcake was good or not.

"Blech!" Twilight spit out the little piece of cupcake.

"What, exactly, is THIS?!" Twilight screamed at Frostie. Shocked, Frostie stuttered something inaudible and backed away from the counter.

"I said, WHAT IS THIS?!" Twilight screamed again.

"Y-your order...p-purple sprinkled c-cupcake..." Frostie stuttered, her voice barely audible.

"IT TASTES DISGUSTING. MIND EXPLAINING THAT?!" Twilight shouted at Frostie, who, by now, was crying.

Letting the tears roll down her cheeks, she replied ", B-but the usual customers always s-say that o-our cupcakes are d-delicious..."

"WELL, NORMAL PONIES' OPINIONS ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A PRINCESS'S OPINION!" Twilight shouted, and stomped out of the room, throwing the cupcake to the ground.

Author's Note:

Hi guys! This is my first fanfiction and also collaboration with SolarAsylum. I hope you guys like it! (BTW, uneven numbered chapters are done by me and even numbered chapters done by SolarAsylum.) LOVE YOU GUYS.

Comments

[The Cynical Brony]

Haven't read it yet, but just a tip: If you have a chapter called "Twilight Is A Bitch", you should probably consider rating it teen.

[Prism Shine]

Hey, y'all! This is a collaboration between me and Sabby.

[Sabby]

6371026

It's only the chapter that has a curse word, but since the other chapters aren't done yet, there might be a chance that there might be curse words in the story too, so thanks for telling ^.^ I'll try and fix it. ((Done))

[Sabby]

To those people that disliked/hated this story:

I get it that you don't like this story, but if you dislike something about it, why not write a constructive suggestion/comment rather than just disliking it? I hate those kind of people that just go hating around someone else's things and doesn't give a reason. If you hate the story, at least give me suggestions to make it better so you don't need to see crap that makes you hate it. You may say that I'm scared of criticism and tell me to stop posting or anything, but here's the thing, if I don't know the problem in my writing, how can I improve it? So to those 9 people who disliked it so far: Give me constructive suggestions. Help me improve my writing instead of just disliking the story. Have a problem with something? Tell me. Then I can improve.

[SuicidalAngel]

Damn Twilight ...
Listen, this story has potential to be great.
However, minor problems with the first chapter. For starters, this kind of personality for Twilight is very unlikely, like what happened in "Putting your hoof down" with Fluttershy. If you're going to make Twilight act this way, we need a bigger cause than her rank or position over time. Especially seeing as she's hesitant to attention in the actual show, even though she copes with it eventually, she doesn't seem to like many ponies calling her PRINCESS unless it's an important equestrian event.
I'd appreciate you reading this and understanding my regards toward this story. It could be very interesting and hilarious even if set up right.
I won't downvote it, because I feel that this story could be great. However I would like it if you perhaps use a chapter similar to this one once you've established how "Bitchy Twilight " came to be, should you choose to do so.

Thank you for your time ^^

[Sabby]

6374181

Thanks for spending your time on a constructive comment ^.^ I would try my best to fix it in the next few chapters :)

[the ninja king]

This is just me but maybe part of the punishment is to have Spike treat Twilight like how she was treating him.

[Sabby]

6374995

Thanks for the suggestion~! We'll certainly use it later on!

[Autumn Wind]

Any reason Twilight is suddenly completely out of character?

I kind of get what you're going for here, exploring Twilight losing her alicorn-ness, but your take on Twilight is blatantly out of character. Having her so overtly hostile towards Spike and other ponies, with no reason whatsoever, and blatantly contradicting her character in the show pretty much alienated me from the get-go.

Your entire premise hinges on Twilight acting wildly out of character, and I believe without MAJOR rewriting of this first chapter, your fic does not have a solid base to stand on. I urge you to seek advice from more experienced writers, because, I am sorry to say, this is not a good start by any measure.

I wish you good luck nontheless.

Also, a note: removing the magic from a unicorn doesn't make an earth pony. It makes a magic-less, horn-less unicorn. Same for removing the wings from a pegasus. Earth Ponies have magic of their own. They are not merely "not-special".

[MalekPony]

Hey there! I have come up with the following idea for the next Chapter of this story:

Title: "Chapter 2: Terminated and Hated."

Summary: Twilight Sparkle will be stripped of her position as princess and also demoted to a simple Earth pony. Not only that, but she'll be disowned by her family, removed from the Mane Six who won't want to be friends with her anymore, as well as being shunned by the rest of Ponyville.

Do you think it's a good idea?