• Member Since 13th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 24th, 2012

Zambza


Finnish Brony

E

Fanfic based of Woodentoasters song Beyond Her Garden. Wanted to write this after hearing this awesome song and its remixes (someones YT account had challenge about writing one ^^)

It tells Carrot Tops story from eyes of now old colt, who lived in village where she moved in.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

Loved the song hope this is good.

#2 · Nov 16th, 2011 · · ·

Hehe. I'm working on something similar, myself. Finally, someone else who's doing a fanfic based on such a great song.

The title reeks of funny sexual innuendo but yet, the story is very enjoyable. :derpytongue2:

I just dislike having to read a wall of words. It makes my eyes bleed. Other than that, I applaud you kind sir/madam

And where was Celestia during all this?

34823 Oh yeah right, and where was Twilight?

Oh. My. Celestia.
"Watching gently over us, beyond her tomb, beyond her garden."
This phrase right here held the impact of the whole song and tale. Awesomely written, dynamic story from a song. keep this work up, you should try to do this for other pony songs

Without knowing you, I can't tell if English is your first language or not. However, there are a lot of simple grammatical errors in the story that made it a bit hard to read for me. It was a great story, with a very biblical ring to it, to me at least. Next time, though, a proof-reader or two may help to fix up some simple errors that prevent clarity.

i think this has serious potential. if you get a proofreader and write a longer version of this, going into the details of Carrot Top's life, why she could farm, where she came from, what caused the drought, how she came back to life, and all that, this would be 5 stars easily. as it is, it seemed kinda rushed b/c there were no explanations or details. but eh. what do i know? :pinkiecrazy: lol keep workin man.

60700 That comment is spot on; there's nothing really to add.

this made me sad :fluttercry:

Well uh, I never thought about Carrot Top that way!

I had a Beyond Her Tomb story half-written. Then I found this. Welp.

Would you be mad if I still finished it? You got to it first after all.

Hmm...I feel like the original writer did a better job than this. This seemed closed to paraphrasing through several extra characters and a loose story that added very little to the original.

Sry if that sounded too negative, it's just that Mic the Microphone wrote out his own version of this that was slightly shorter, but told and explained just as much if not more. That, and it was the original.

I may just be too critical though. Sorry. :ajsleepy:

other than all that above, good job though. you had to guts to make pony fanfiction. good job.

This was pretty good. But I didn't understand a lot of it due to grammar errors. I prefer the music video.

"Watching gently over us, beyond her tomb, beyond her garden."
This line alone, made me sad. The whole tale in Mic's rap (Beyond Her Tomb) mad me sad. I wanted to cry, but couldn't, you jave done a great job, keep up the good work!

This is an idea I'd like to expand on, and to my knowledge this hasn't been done in long length. I know this is ambitious, but I'd love to take on Beyond Her Garden as a fully fledged fiction, start to finish, as my first fic.

I win awards for procrastination, so I don't know if this would ever finish, but I swear to it someday I'll write it. :moustache:

So, everyone thought Carrot Top was a witch? That's the song premise?

Great story based off a great song.

"Carrot Top, Go beyond us. Your a late star, time to fool us. Keep your friends lose, they're what drive you. To the cosmos that describes you. "

Can't mistake your silhouette girl.

My tolerance levels for haters now increased. Reason why is because if we basically replaced Carrot Top with Jesus then it would basically be The Bible but ponified. And this is saying someting since I'm athiest.

Notice that the story mentioned that the royals were even skeptical of her power. During the drought the haters rose, even the princesses, and sentenced her to death for being a "Witch". The princesses didn't mind.

I'm going to correct the grammar then send it, could you post it when I do? I don't want to post your work :heart: :raritywink:

Fuck people stop hating on carrot top
Get tha fuck over it! Jeez can't one pony live her life in peace!
:facehoof:

32927 of course there's no account to click so I can look for a story....

32957 Thanks... I hadn't thought of that till now...:facehoof: blegh

The drought didn't disappear, vice versa it only get worse.

okay, to me, this just sounds wrong.
make it something like "The drought didn't disappear though my children. no, it only get worse."
I'm not 100% sure, but I reckon that at least sounds a bit better....

The lack of punctuation is driving me nuts!

However, great story, nevertheless.

A beautiful, if short, story. Sweetly done. :unsuresweetie:

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