The Devil Is A Marshmallow
The rewrite is complete! I cancelled all points which lead to heated discussions. This means, that there are still enough things that stayed the same. After reading it several times, I found enough points, which I wanted to keep. Alone the whole equipment explanation and his 'new equipment', 'cause let's be honest, he looks like a kid and won't get his hands on a sword that easily.
Oh, and this is about 500 words shorter than the original. I tried to fill in the gaps of the cancelled scenes as good as I can and I hope I was successful with it.
Just tell me what you think about this chapter. I'm interested to hear your opinion! And thanks to all the people (especially shinikage and Texus) who try with their comments to help me improve my story! I really appreciate it! 
There was I? Oh yeah. Right. Puking.
The whole show lasted only ten seconds.
Marshmallow was smart enough to see the telltale signs of gagging and jumped out of the way, as I emptied my stomach right in the direction of the table and the pony, who rammed the soap into my throat.
Rarity was not amused.
Her eyes widened in panic. She quickly grabbed me in her telekinesis and dragged me out of the kitchen through the aisle, whose white walls were painted a new color along the way.
She ‘ewwed’ the whole way along in a chorus.
Ridiculous. As if it would have helped her.
We arrived the bath quickly, whose floor was also painted in a nice layer of munched pancakes. She eventually let my head hang in the direction of the toilet bowl. But I was already completely emptied.
“OH COME ON!” I could hear her complain.
She then turned around and held her face with both hands and started some incoherent frantic mumbling.
I then heard something fall and turned my head only to discover, that she slipped on my puke and had her back now covered in it.
She twitched heavily. Her face quickly turned green and Rarity had to puke too. I cringed. She did it all over herself, covering almost every clean spot, which brought me an unbelievable amount of satisfaction and a slight tinge of disgust along the way.
Seems like I have gotten my revenge after only a minute or two. A real peak time, probably even world record worthy. Sure, it was nasty as hell, but she deserved it.
But now that I’m thinking about it, this could still use some…extra touch.
I smirked, as I walked over to her, before leaning into her field of vision. “Wow. You really need a bath!”
Her eye twitched. She seemed to have a mental breakdown. It was hard to tell, if it was from being covered in filth from tip to toe or from my cocky remark.
Ok, it was definitely the puke. Let’s be honest. Her whole body was already twitching as I approached her and it was hard to tell, if she even heard a word I was saying. So there goes that.
Then a thought hit me. Why not take some compromising photos while I’m at it? She did the same with me and I could keep her in line with that, if I decide to take this place over as a base or want to blackmail her in any other way. I could think about the specifics another time.
I then turned around to walk out of the room.
And slipped.
I was still shaky on my legs after puking all my health points right back out, so I guess that it was no surprise that I couldn’t hold my balance.
Things seemed to slow down, as I prepared myself for the impact with the tiled floor, which never came.
I blinked slowly, as I felt something soft holding my hand and keeping me from crashing. I looked at the smooth white fur of the hand and followed it slowly over the arm to its proprietor. Light green eyes were staring back at me with worry. And it took me a second to process what had happened.
Marshmallow slowly lifted me with a drag from my tilted standing position to one that was upright.
All the time I stared into her light green eyes.
Those eyes… I had seen eyes like these before.
An image of a gryphon flashed before my mind’s eye.
“Heya there! You look rather messed up. Want to share a drink?”
I slowly shook my head and saw that the image was replaced with one of a pony. A specific annoying pony in fact.
She seemed to have saved me from slipping and I couldn’t help but wonder why she did that. Didn’t she want for me to be helpless? What was she gaining? Did she maybe hope to gain my trust, and why were she looking worried? Were she worried for her toy, that might have broken upon contact with the cold hard ground?
I probably think too much on it. It is not like she saved my life. I only would have fainted after losing my last health point. So I hardly owe her anything. Add to the fact that it probably was just a reflex, which meant, that it was her body who acted and not her mind. This means, that I don’t own her anything, since her mind didn’t do shit!
…Why am I trying to find an excuse for something as minor as this?
Stupid! I shook my head. There was no time for this!
Remember, I had photos to take! I needed leverage to subdue Rarity!
My gaze wandered to the marshmallow. A smile adorned her face and she seemed rather…coy? It didn’t take me long to realize, that I didn’t let go of her hand as she grabbed mine. I immediately corrected my mistake, diverting my gaze from her. The bath cabinet seemed a lot more interesting all of a sudden.
It took me a few moments to realize what I just planned on doing. I still needed photos.
My gaze wandered to the marshmallow again, who squeaked adora-. Scratch that. She was awkwardly standing there with her face in her palms, squeaking like a pig. Yeah, that sounds a lot better. I sighed. I didn’t really want to have anything to do with her, but she might know where cameras were. It’s not like I had the stamina nor the time to look for one, since Rarity won’t stay in her stupor forever. And I could still teach the marshmallow a lesson after I was done with Rarity.
“Say. Do you have a camera?”
She nodded with a smile. “What do you have in mind? Maybe some souvenir photos from the first day of our collective life, while holding hands?” she squeaked again, literally beaming.
I deadpanned ignoring her ridiculous comment. “Just making sure your sister is not using any more soap against me.” This seemed shook her out of her reverie.
She looked unsure to her sisters side and then back to me, her eyes widening in understanding. She slowly contemplated her next moves, as she watched between me and her, as if she was weighing who was more important to her.
I started to frown, as she didn’t move.
“What is it now? Can’t you just move already?”
“I… It is wrong…”
I just rolled my eyes, as I turned sideways. She is trying to force me into marriage and now all of a sudden starts to draw a line at blackmail?
Ponies are such hypocrites. They act like they are an accepting folk, but they are not. They exclude every non-pony. The only reason Rarity wanted me to stay was for the marshmallow and this thing wanted me for some sick fantasy of hers. She was not right in the head.
Come to think of it, why did I even ask her?
I watched her out of the corner in my eyes. It seemed like she was contemplating something. Wonder what that might be? Probably something stupid ponylike. I gulped. Or something creepy. This one was still a threat after all. Maybe I should-
“No.”
“Huh?”
She took a determined stance, but despite that her eyes kept her natural softness. As if she was trying to sooth me. “I said no. That is not the way a prince would behave!”
I scoffed at that. “Listen here, Missy. I’m an Overlord and I’m going to do what I want, then I want!”
She frowned at that, before sighing.
“I guess, I should start the lessons soon.” She said those line under her breath, but being the demon I was I also had a perfectioned hearing sense.
I had to quirk an eyebrow at this line.
Was she trying to educate me? I clenched my fists. Arrogant ponies. Always thinking that they are better than everyone else. Pony-terms like everypony could attest to that.
Suddenly I heard a blood curling scream. I pressed my hands firmly against my ears. I didn’t have to search for the source of the noise, since I could recognize it. I have to admit it was louder and shriller than the first time I heard it, but it was nonetheless the same sound in a way.
I scurried out of the room and closed the door in a vain attempt to protect my ears. It didn’t help much. I hurriedly laid my hands over my ears again, after closing the door and a painful grumble reminded me that I still had an empty stomach.
I needed food. And I needed it now. My gaze fell upon the kitchen door.
Just why was it directly next to the bath…
I wanted nothing more than getting my ears out of the danger zone of this loud voice, but on the same time my stomach kept protesting to enter the kitchen.
The decision made itself as the screaming toned down. Rarity seemingly had used up her breath. Thank heavens for that!
Wait, no. I’m a demon! I can’t thank the heaven! I have to thank the Netherworld! Not some prissy and arrogant Angels! Now that I think about it, they kind of seem alike, ponies and angels. Both praying about how they are the ‘good’, but at least there were some good angels too. No, not good angels. I’m a demon! I can’t say such things! How do I say it then? Hm… Yeah! They weren’t complete arrogant pricks! Have yet to meet a pony, who is like that. But of course such a pony doesn’t exist. They already had their chance.
My grumbling brought myself back to reality and spurred me on to finally move my ass into the kitchen. I did just that. It would not only stop the pain, but also refill my health bar.
I silently chuckled to myself. Then I could start to educate the marshmallow! She needs to be taught a lesson and I might just be the demon for the job.
Back in the bathroom
Sweetie Belle turned around to her sister. She seemed to have woken out of her stupor. Eying herself with disgust and panic, as she frantically approached the bathtub and hopped into it. She desperately turned the shower head on. Warm water runs down her clothes. She didn’t even bother to undress, which effectively showed how desperate she was to clean herself. Not any kind of desperate. It was the worst drama queen kind of desperate. A desperate which would put even Pinkies desperate side, when she was low on sugar to shame! Did I mention she was desperate? Yeah, that was the situation Sweetie Belle had to endure.
She had to sigh at this, as her sister began to shrub the bare areas of her coat. She couldn’t leave her like this. She was her sister after all and she needed help. Soothing help that is.
“Rarity calm down!” Sweetie Belle tried to sooth her big cleanliness-mad sister.
“Ewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewew-“
But without success. Rarity didn’t listen. She was sitting in the bath tub, scrubbing her coat for all she was worth.
“You are going to hurt yourself, if you scrub your coat so hard.”
“ewewewewewewewewewew-“
“Listen-”
“ewewew-“
An annoyed look appeared on Sweeties face. This was as pointless as talking to a wall. A cleanliness obsessed and prissy wall…
She looked around and noticed that her fiancé was gone. Now it was her turn to panic.
Her eyes widened and her breath quickened. He was way too fragile in her opinion to be without any supervision. He was her prince. A prince who needed tender care AND education.
Everything that happened until now only seemed to confirm it. He really needed help badly. She scowled, as she remembered his drowning. It really made her heart ache. She thought she had lost him back there!
So helpless, she thought. So uneducated.
She was the one who was going to protect him, who was going to teach him the proper ways. She was just the right pony for the job.
Her gaze turned to a determinant one, as she stormed out of the door.
I just entered the kitchen. Rarity’s wailing could be clearly heard trough the kitchen wall. It somehow made me feel satisfied, even if I couldn’t take photos of it. Kind of a pity, but I had no idea where to find a camera and marshmallow clearly showed how displeased she was with my idea. Not that I cared about that.
I really miss the times, where I commanded whole armies of demons. No one would dare to refuse my orders. All would be crawling right at my feet, especially the ponies.
I had power. A power that I seemed to have lost with my equipment and my levels. I needed it back which required me to level up, as well as find some equipment. Maybe they have a blacksmith in town? But it was too risky to walk among these abominations undisguised, and I doubt the blacksmith would just hand me a weapon. For these things I’m nothing than a mere child. So I have to take less suitable equipment for the moment. The kitchen knife would be at least a start. Unnecessary to mention that this will of course slow down the progress of my plans. But I could still think about that later. Maybe I will find a better solution later. Healing comes first.
My gaze wandered to the table in the middle. The plates with the pancakes were still on it. Not that any of those two had the possibility to clear the table.
My own platter was almost empty, as well as the platter of Rarity. The platter of the marshmallow was of course still untouched.
It was kind of obvious which platter would be devoured.
All three!
I slowly marched to the table, as I heard the door opening and a squeaky sound echoed through the room.
“There you are!”
I instantly began to frown.
Figures.
I turned around just to see that she was already standing in front of me.
I slightly backed away. Not out of fear, mind you. I just wanted to have some safety gap between us. She was capricious. Reason enough to have an eye on her even more than on her prissy relative.
“What do you want now?” I asked slightly annoyed that I don’t even get the time to heal my health points.
“I was only looking for you. I mean, you just disappeared without saying a single word!” She threw her hands dramatically in the air for emphasis. This just made her look like a mere child for me. Well, she was one, but her precocious outbursts are everything other than normal for her age. At least I think they are. I never really took the time to spend it with foals. There was only once a foal and that was an eternity ago.
“What a surprise,” I mutter under my breath, so that she couldn’t hear.
I then clutched my stomach painfully. Marshmallow took that as her cue to step past me to the plates.
She then put all pancakes on one single plate and put the glass of maple syrup beside it and moved the plate for me.
“Here. You should eat this. You are not looking too good.”
My eyes widened a bit.
And here I thought she would disturb me by making a pass at me. Well, not that I’m complaining!
Without a second thought I poured maple syrup over the pancake mountain and dug straight in. She seemed slightly disappointed at this. I mean, what was she expecting? Actually I don’t really want to know what is going on in that head of hers. It might be safer for the sanity that is still left.
“You know, you could have at least thanked me…” came her disappointed voice.
“Fwo whawt? Fow dwoning me ow fwo fowcin me inwo mawwiage?” I responded with my mouth still stuffed full. Little bits and pieces were flying out of my mouth and it certainly wasn’t anything appetizing. But as an Overlord I could have the manners I wanted. I was on the top. I was making the rules. Marshmallow still had to grasp that concept.
“I’m only trying to help you!”
I swallowed the bits in my mouth, before I answered her. I mean, she didn’t seem to have heard me correctly, if she used such a dumb answer.
“You FORCE me into marriage!” And that is quite the crime, if I say so myself. I might seem like a hypocrite here. It is a well-known fact, that demons force others to do a lot of stuff, but even they have limits! Never heard of something like a forced marriage under demons! Heck, you would probably think that these things would have more decency than demons! Another reason why they are unfit to rule.
Alone these thoughts were enough to enrage me slightly. I tried to quell the rage with another handful of pancakes.
“You are too young to know what is good for you.”
I choked. Hard.
To say I was mildly surprised by the ridiculousness of this would be an understatement. It took some time until I got my coughing fit under control.
“Are you alright?”
I shot her a death glare at that. She was the cause of my choking and now she really has the insolence to ask this question?!
“Am I alright? AM I ALRIGHT?!”
The stress was really getting to me. I almost choked on pancakes! That’s not a way for a great Overlord to die! I mean, is my name Mid-Boss?! And hell knows, I had enough harm for a lifetime, or at least for the next one hundred years! And this was all the cause of one specific marshmallow! At this continues, I might even start to hate marshmallows in general! She is just ruining marshmallows for me!
“This whole scene is nothing more than a farce! You are the one who is harming me! Even more so than most of the other creatures of this world! And honestly I’m sick of it!”
I turned around to leave, but she tried to follow me. I just raised my hand in a clear sign to stop her.
“I’m leaving. Alone.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean just what I said. I have enough,” I seethed, hatred clear in my voice. No need to conceal it.
“B-But what about our wedding?” mad marshmallow replied meekly.
“Wedding! WEDDING!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!”
She flinched at this.
“I was here for merely a day and was beaten up, manhandled, bathed, drowned, stuffed with soap and I can only pray, that I wasn’t raped, while I was here!”
“You could still stay, I mean, we can feed you and alike,” offered the marshmallow as a weak attempt to convince me to stay, guilt clearly written all over her face.
My gaze hardened. Alone the word feeding didn’t make her offer any better. What was I for her? A dog? Probably an improvement to toy, but still not a position I would take on, EVER!
“No. I have enough of you ponies.” I turned around leaving.
“Let’s strike a deal then,” she said suddenly in a determined tone, which brought me out of my ranting.
I turned around questioning. “A deal?”
“Yeah. The stakes are high. If you beat me in a duel, you get to go wherever you want, without having to worry, that I or my sis will follow you, because of our bond. I will even make some rations for you and give you anything for the trip you need!”
I contemplated this. It wouldn’t be bad to have some supplies on my way back to my former glory. Maybe I could even get some equipment out of this.
“Interesting. And the other side of the deal?”
“If I win, then you have to stay with me.”
I mulled it over shortly. I knew that my basic stats there higher than hers, even if she was a level higher. With some equipment from the kitchen, I could easily overpower her. She was just a normal, weak filly after all.
I began to smirk. “Deal!”
What could possibly go wrong?
My eyes scanned through the empty spaces of the kitchen. I had sent the marshmallow ahead. Explaining her that I wanted to eat the rest of my meal in peace, as well as mentally get ready for the oncoming fight.
She was eating this excuses right up, without questioning them.
Ponies are really stupid.
Well, but first things first.
I used my magic to see how much health points the vestiges of my meal could regenerate, since I still haven’t filled them up to the max. It was an adequate amount and would suffice for the purpose. I happily shoved more and more bites from the plate into my awaiting maw. It only took me a minute to finish my plate. You could say, that I was mauling the hill of food, like a predator would a wounded fawn. Man, what would I give for a juicy piece of meat. But that is a problem for another day.
I happily patted my stomach and grinned. It was good to be a demon. A normal human couldn’t eat this much. My magic let’s my stomach function like a black hole. There was a reason, why you didn’t find any demons with overweight after all.
And most importantly, this time I would keep the health points all in. Rarity was occupied and wouldn’t interfere.
But better not risk anything and hurry up. I searched the kitchen for equipment.
Searching the kitchen for equipment seems like a joke, but like I said before, I didn’t have any choice in this matter. In default of a soul the devil puts up with a fly.
I quickly grabbed a kitchen knife and put it in my weapon slot. It disappeared, but was still equipped. It would show in battle only, or then I was willing to show it.
What can I say? Convenient demon magic.
I then searched for something I could use as armor, but there wasn’t much I could use. I sighed to myself as I took a pot as a helmet. It was degrading as hell, but only I knew about it, and so it didn’t matter that much. I equipped it quickly and let it disappear.
Good thing I could hide my armor during all times, even in battle. There was a simple reason for it too. Just try to fight some idiots with full on visible armor. Some people tend to blame my strength on armor alone, that I would simply be helpless without it. Insolent fools.
So, I was technically appearing a lot stronger. Just let me get my hand on my Testament and I could smash houses and rocks, like I owned the place. That’s how you leave an impression. All ponies would just quiver at my feet, at my amazing strength and that’s how it is supposed to be. Me on top of the world with my companion, while the ponies are on the bottom, like the mere animals they are.
Time to show this marshmallow her proper place.
I hurried down the stairs, full of energy and confident as I could be.
Time to end this.
I then came to the foyer room. There was a counter by the outside door, as well as some shelves. There was not a wall to separate the foyer from what looked like a presentation room, with a small stage. I could see shelves, with fabric and threads, tables with sewing machines and pony mannequins, or at least an abomination version of it.
I spotted the object of my hate in the middle of the foyer and couldn’t help but to grin condescendingly at her.
“Are you ready for your lecture, fool?”
A devious smirk formed on her face. “We will see about that.”
And so my magic worked and the room was cut off from the outside world.
It didn’t take long and the battlefield was prepared. I spawned quickly and moved closer to her.
A simple ‘Hurricane Slash’ should be enough for her.
I opened my bar and skimmed to ‘Special’ and chose ‘Hurricane Slash’. I quickly let my cursor wander to the abomination right in front of me.
And then I froze. I moved my cursor over her and saw something that busted my confidence. Her stats were not like I remembered them to be.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” I screamed frustrated.
My chest was tightening, my heart rate as well as my breathing was increasing and I suddenly felt this old feeling again: Fear.
A predatory grin formed on her muzzle.
“W-What are you?” I stammered out, taking a careful step back, ready to bolt. But I couldn’t. The magic was holding me in place.
It was still my turn, but I couldn't move twice. To do that, I had to undo my movement. Not that it would help me in my situation. I was inferior and I knew it, even though I couldn't explain how it happened.
The marshmallow suddenly had a wave of confidence around her, as she smirked.
“I’m your bride.”
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This is getting depressing really .
6218651 seriously the guy is weak beyond belief to the point that it is not funny anymore, plus the whole rainbow dash is a lesbian is so freaking cliche that is boring an unoriginal. the story is losing its spark very fast
Not sure if i don´t like the pairing or the situation, i think i am not sure how serious i should take this story, usually if it is not a clopstory i am more critical about stuff like that, but as long as they get together afterwards it should be alright, even if no one thought about Sweetiebelle here.
Don´t they have to take turns?, did she just skipped his turn and forced him to stay still?
While i know that this story is supposed to be a bit like an RPG, and that Sweetiebelle is stronger and stuff like that, i don´t really like it, that this is used as a reason to force him to stay.
I think i have to remember myself that this is supposed to be a comedy story, but i still have something against it, if Character able to force someone with their magic. Right now since it looked like it was his turn, it seems like Sweetiebelle would have used something like a cheat, i mean she can´t really act if he didn´t finished his turn right?
However, maybe i just forgot that Sweetiebelle has gotten the same power, or something like that, and she probably got stronger somehow, but i am more or less pretty sure, that they acted in turns last time.
Sorry if i am a bit to serious sometimes, but i can´t help myself to think about how i would like a situation like that, or how i would react.
Another thing that could affect my view of this chapter, could be that i not prefe it if it is always the same character that is getting all the problems. You should probably really let something good happen to him too.
6218651
If you mean Laharl, when yes. It was necessary to bind him closer to Sweetie Belle.
6218784
He gets stronger in the future and I really don't want to rush it.
To the RD thing. I never shipped her with anyone other than Soarin before. You might now wonder, why I did this. I just reminded something interesting. In video games, most of the ones who are homosexual are either villains, psychopaths or anything other negative, so that I thought it might be a nice change for once. I don't know how common the RarityxRainbowDash ship is and personally it is optional for me. I wanted to try it out and see the reactions to it. I can just end it rather quickly when I feel like it or if the crowd responds bad to it.
I appreciate your critique and if you find something else that bothers you, feel free to tell me.
6218786
It was still his turn, but you can only move once per turn. If he wanted to move again, he just has to undo his movement. (I should probably revise and mention it.)
It is welcome. This chapter seems to be a bit disputed, if the few comments are anything to go by, and I of course want to entertain my readers. So no need to hold back here.
Good argument. He really has suffered a lot. Probably too much. I will keep it in mind. So no more fainting for the next chapter. He will get a break.
6218836 is not how cliche the rari-dash shipping is, is the whole rainbow dash is a lesbian cliche, is so big and over used that the only ones that are worse are the ones where the human is the seventh element or the OC is a black and red alicorn, plus the whole she is a lesbian because she has rainbow hair is nothing more than judging the book by the cover, and are you saying RD is going to be either evil or a psycho?.
on another note it would have been interesting to see him get engaged to other ponies due to ignorance of their customs, but please lay down a bit on the him being weak plot, nobody likes an over powered character but the same is said about said character being a pushover
6218888
You are right in a way. Cliches can be really bad for a story, but in the end it all depends how you use them. I saw a black and red alicorn OC story which is using this cliche in a professional manner and it is quite the funny story. I link it here for you. Though I have to admit, I don't know if I can pull this cliche off in the right way. Funny thing is, I didn't even think about the RD = Lesbian cliche, when I wrote the scene. I only remembered it when you told me about it.
So yeah. I really have to think about it. Seems to be a critical point.
No. I'm just saying that it is a shame that most game characters who are homosexual are presented as villains and psychopaths and this is really a shame. I mean, are we really not developed far enough to accept other peoples sexuality?
A valid point. I only concentrated up until now about him not being overpowered. I will at least plan to get him a little stronger in the next chapters. A larger powerboost is planned for future events.
6218934 well it could be worse, at least you didnt send him to the golden oaks hotel, to to be personally attended by its manager twilight sparkle and her indentured child slave spike, like 80% of the other displaced fics do, i heard it used to be a library before.
on another note it would be fun to see him getting engaged to applejack while trying to get his strength back
6218836
well thank you.
About the other stuff, it is nice to know that your not going to think that i am just ranting, and i just wanted to say, that sometimes i am a bit confused over things that i like or not.
To be sure you understand what i mean with that, i want to say that i already had the situation, that i had read two similar situations, nearly the same thing happened, only that the one person managed to use it in the right way.
I always think that i am about to sound, like i could not manage to read certain stuff, and i don´t mean that you made the stuff between Rarity, and Dash to akward, but this time i didn´t liked it as much as i could have liked it. However sometimes i am not sure exactly why i dislike it, i just wanted to mention it.
can i really use that "," right there befor the "and"? I would like to now if it is a mistake, or if my gramamar right there is correct.
to be honest, i think what you have written down, sounds like he would try to attack, and suddenly Sweetiebell ignores the rules, and is starting her own attack.
I guess you probably need to add something to that little part, like you said.
I think you just missed the part where his turn ends.
6219000
It is not about the part of his turn ending. It is more about the part, that then his cursor moved over her, he noticed something about her stats. Something that he doesn't understand and fills him with dread. I already corrected it. Hopefully it is now clearer.
I have seen it plenty of times in over stories, so I think (I'm not sure myself) it is alright. It seems strange for me too, since you would normally not put something like that before the 'and' in my mother tongue.
Lesbo-Dash and Kinky Mistress Rarity as well as Creepy-Belle... Ponies are perverts
The story's cool and all, but not progressing enough for me. Seven chapters and he's still in the boutique getting more pathetic.
The perversion is strong with this story, not as well written as I would have liked but entertaining none the less. Work on the flow of the story more and try to stay away from the anime story arch's, there all the same and it's easy to see thing coming from a mile away.
Stay Classy and keep it up!
6219155
6219525
Yeah. I probably can say that this was the worst chapter of them all, if the comments and the dislikes are anything to go by.
I probably will look over it another time and see, if I can maybe improve the flow of it a little.
And about the progress. I was actually worried that I was going too fast! It helps me to hear, that I might be wrong with that. However, the next chapter will concern an episode. It is probably obvious which episode, with all the hints I dropped. However, I'm not sure, if I want to place the whole episode in one chapter, but I guess I shouldn't stretch it out too long either.
Let's just see how it plays out.
That response. Was enough to give me chills!
Didn't see the Rarity RD scene coming. Still, the battle was interesting.
Sweetie belle is a fuuuuuuuuuuucking Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
Is "Testament" an item or something?
Still have conflicted feelings about this story.
I just realized the reference made in this chapter
The devil is a marshmallow.
The devil is a parttimer.
Idiot
6218651
No shit! Of course this would never happen to me since I'm not blinded by my pride
6218836
I never liked soarin, shining or sentry but you do you.