You Don't Break Tradition
Screaming.
You wouldn’t believe how loud this mare could scream. But if I think about it, it was looking pretty awkward. I mean, I’m probably in the marshmallows house and walk out of her room completely naked or only with a blanked wrapped around my hips. The mare is probably a part of her family and I can imagine that she doesn’t appreciate it, if a male just walks out of marshmallows room. Especially one dressed like me. But I personally would have preferred the awkward silence. Even a demon can’t take such an ear assault for long. I mean, yeah, injuries can be healed quickly with my power. But it still hurt.
So as soon as she started screaming, my fight or flight instincts dropped in. Since I couldn’t defend myself against a filly, even less against a full grown mare, I stumbled back into the room and closed the door out of instinct and probably also to dampen the noise of this annoying mare.
In hindsight, I should have just run past the mare.
I was sweating bullets right now. I needed an escape plan.
And then I felt breath on my ear. I didn’t have to be a genius to guess which pony was right behind me.
I quickly turned around and pushed past her. As I did this I noticed the window. It was my best bet, so I jumped.
But I never made contact with it.
The white mare from before finished screaming and took a hold of me with her magic. Under normal circumstances I could have avoided her grasp. But I was weak. If I were still level 2000, things sure would look different. Well, I also would have freed my companion from the royal butts and got my stuff back by now.
I felt helpless. And I hated it to feel like this. Especially to be helpless against these FOUL CREATURES!
Feeling helpless is number two on my hate list. So you can imagine how much hate I felt at the moment.
“DON’T WORRY SWEETIE! I AM GOING TO PROTECT YOU FROM THIS PERVERT BRUTE!”
“WAIT!” I could hear the marshmallow scream. “HE IS MY FRIEND!” She took a short moment to rethink the consequences of that statement.
”This is not what it looks like! We weren’t doing anything inappropriate! I swear!”
At this the mares jaw had dropped in shock. Or that’s what I guessed. I was with my back turned to them after all.
I surely hoped, she wouldn’t come to any rash conclusions.
“He was just sleeping with me!” screamed the marshmallow in an awkward attempt to free this situation of its natural awkwardness. It didn’t help.
You can’t be serious!
And then I blanched. Did she mean, that nothing happened, or did she EXACTLY mean that something happened? I felt my gut twist at this thought.
Then I was turned around to face the mare. I could see a fire in her eyes burning. It was not the fire of determination. It was the fire of ‘I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR SORRY ASS!’. I was understandably worried at this point.
“I didn’t do anything! Why would I even want that!?” I retorted in a vain attempt to save my hide.
“OH! NOW YOU ARE SAYING THAT MY SISTER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!”
This got me rather pissed. I mean, she just yelled at me for saying what she wanted to hear! Like, no matter what I say, she is still going to take me down!
“HEY! FUCK O-“
And then I tasted…roses? Sure enough she shoved something in my mouth.
Urgh, rose soap…
“I’M GOING TO TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS! SWEARING TO A LADY LIKE THAT AND IN FRONT OF A FOAL AT THAT MATTER!”
“Um… Rarity?” Mad marshmallow tried to speak up again. I just hoped, that she would just shut up. She only got me in trouble until now and I doubted, that would change.
“What is it, Sweetie? I’m in the middle of something?” she asked in a sweet tone. So sweet and innocent was her change in attitude, that it quite shocked me.
It shocked me enough, so that I thought, that the marshmallow could actually help me out of this mess. I mean, she’s only stupid to a degree…right?
“He…kissed me.”
YOU FUCKING MORON!!!
“H-h-h-he d-d-di-did w-wh-what?” she stuttered.
I’m sure she will snap out of it soon and then snap my neck!
Xenophobic ponies. I HATE them!
But, you know what? I hate her even more! How can a pony be this stupid! Yeah, she is a foal, but COME ON! I survived the royal butts and now a FILLY is going to be my demise!? How can a filly be this stupid! No! This is BEYOND stupid!
Her eye twitched. “O-oh h-how l-lovely. W-why don’t I m-make us some t-tea then? Y-you can then t-tell me, h-how you t-two have met.”
Come again?
Marshmallow nodded, with a smile plastered on her face.
Whiteys right eye was twitching uncontrollably by now.
She then left the room, with me in her aura. We went through a door and were now in a kitchen. She sat me on a stool with a table. But not that softly. She downright used me as a hammer and slammed me on it. I kind of doubted, this was a good sign…
She quickly prepared the water for the tea on the stove, before turning to me.
“I-I guess we have to talk about some things.”
That fake smile she wore betrayed herself, as the edges of her mouth started to tremble.
She took the seat across from me, while the mad marshmallow was sitting right next to me.
“S-so h-how did you two g-get together?”
Wait…what?
“Oh, he saved me from a timberwolf! It was love at first sight!” the mad marshmallow fancied.
I just turned my head and gave her an incredulous look.
I don’t mind her making up a story, to save my hide, but…urgh…love? I want to throw up. But I know better than that. I can’t win against whitey. And that’s why I need to wait for an opening. Then I’m up and gone.
But I have to admit that it is hard to keep myself in check. Just the thought of being…a… NO! I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT WORD!
“A-ah Timberwolf?” Her surprised look soon got replaced by skepticism. “When did that happen?”
“Today, actually. I was just back from the trip and was playing with the crusaders. We were at the edge of Everfree Forest and a timberwolf attacked us! But then he came out of nowhere and saved me, like a real prince!” She let out a dreamy sigh and I myself, had a hard time to tell, if she was only playing, or really believing the crap she just said.
Whiteys façade began to crumble. She started to believe it! Way to go marshmallow!
Kind of remarkable, actually. I spent a thousand years in stone and she lets me look as sane as you can be, in comparison to her!
“How did that kiss happen?”
She mouth-raped me!
“Like I said. It was love at first sight. I felt, like I have known him forever. And then…” She trailed off, a sad look on her face.
“What then?” She had suddenly a stern expression on her face again. And of course she started glaring at me again!
She sniffed. “I found out, that he had not any family left! He just lives in the forest, since ponies won’t accept his appearance!”
And the marshmallow started crying. Actually, I would congratulate her for the play. You can’t be more convincing than that!
Whitey came immediately by the side and hugged her. I just looked away. Even though I was impressed by her skills, I was also feeling unsure at the same time. I didn’t like it to get pitied. And the compassionate stare whitey was giving me, while she hugged the marshmallow…
“I-I thought, t-that I s-should help him! He h-hasn’t anypony left!” Marshmallow said this between sobs. If I had a heart left, I probably would have felt something by now. She wasn’t wrong about the loneliness, even though I would never admit it. Especially since ponies are the cause of it. They can’t be trusted!
“Shush. Everything is alright, Sweetie. I understand now. He can stay. I wouldn’t be the Element of Generosity, if I turned him down like this, right?” She smiled. A genuine smile. Or at least one that looked like it. Not that ponies could be genuine, pfffft! A really ridiculous thought.
“HE CAN SLEEP IN MY ROOM!!” Mad marshmallow squeaked out and I shuddered at the thought. And whitey seemed to shudder too.
“NO!”
The marshmallow and I just stared at her.
“Uh…I mean he can stay in my room… I can’t allow you two to…”
My face grew as red as a tomato. A wonder that this blush didn’t come any sooner. Probably because of the shock I had, of being with complete maniacs!
Then I heard a whistle. It was coming from the teakettle, but it might as well have come from my head. You know the thing, when smoke comes out of your ears out of rage or embarrassment? That’s how I felt. A funny mix of the both. And the awkward silence didn’t make it any better.
Whitey walked when to the stove and filled some cups with tea, before setting them in front of us, together with a cup of sugar.
I somehow had enough of this and found it was high time to make some things clear.
“WE DIDN’T DO IT!!!
…Right?”
Yeah, I had no idea if it happened. I just clamped down on this hope, that my innocence wasn’t completely ruined.
Marshmallow let out a sad sigh. “He is right.” I sighed in relief. She then had a sly look on her face. “Not yet.”
Another shudder. After that I tensed up immediately. I shouldn’t stay here too long.
Whitey meanwhile sighed in relieve at this revelation.
“Ok, but why was he… you know…”
“I put his clothes in the washer. They were dirty.”
“OH! Ok. I guess the fight took its…toll.” She glanced then over to me. “By the way, we haven’t introduced ourselves yet. My name is Rarity. But you can also call me Miss Rarity.”
I crossed my arms and hmph’ed at this, before I started my own introduction. Since I can’t kick ass, I might as well play along for now. “My name is L-“
And suddenly I had a hand in my mouth. Ok. A new thing on my hate list. I will make it number twelve. It is not fun, to have a furry hand in your mouth!
And then the marshmallow replied in a cheery tone instead of me. “His name is Prince Charming!”
I yanked her hand out of my mouth. “WHAT THE ACTUAL F-“
And a hand found its way into my mouth again. Against all my protests and struggles. Still can’t believe this filly can overpower me so easily.
“Is that so?”
Marshmallow nodded her head vigorously to which whitey took a sip of her tea.
“Oh! I almost forgot! When do we set the wedding date?”
And whitey took a spit-take in my direction. I wasn’t exactly happy with this, but my priorities were on another subject for that moment.
“OH! My apologies…Charming…” She then turned to the marshmallow, “Isn’t it a bit early for that?”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!”
“Well, I accidentally spit my tea-“
“NO! I mean, the *shudder* wedding! What is the meaning of this!”
“Didn’t your parents teach you about unicorn tradition?” She then mulled her words over for a second. “OH! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude! Please just ignore my question!”
“Whatever! I want an answer now, regarding this tradition!”
“Well, it is an old tradition among the unicorns to marry the first mare you kiss. It is a real disgrace to break this unwritten rule or to divorce at that matter.”
I laughed. Why, you may ask? Well, I’m technically insane. So I can do that. I don’t need to justify it.
“Bwahahahahahahahahhaha! You can’t be serious!” Ok, maybe I also thought this tradition was stupid and some kind of joke. Boy was I wrong.
She stood up and shot me a stern glaze, as she was towering over me.
“This is no laughing matter! You two are bound by our tradition now! Kissing a mare is something serious you immature brute!”
I stopped laughing and blanched, as realization hit me, like a train at full speed.
“W-WHAT!!! B-But I’m not a UNICORN!! I don’t have to FOLLOW such a STUPID tradition!”
Her glare intensified. “Even so, it is common knowledge that even if you are not a unicorn, kissing one will lead to the same result!” I wilted under these words.
“T-There has to be a way out of this!”
She when yanked my ear and let her eyes wander to the marshmallow. As I followed her gaze, I could clearly see the pleading look in her eyes. Not that I cared, but I was worried about my health at this moment.
I just looked in another direction. I honestly was quite panicked and dumbfounded. I wanted to say how stupid this was, but I couldn’t right at this moment. I was in a great distress. Whitey seemed to have noticed this.
“I understand, that this is quite shocking, if you have not expected it, but you don’t need to worry for now, because Sweetie is still underage. You still have more than enough time to get used to the idea.”
It didn’t really console me. The only thought that consoled me was the one, that I would be gone as soon as I saw an opportunity. So I put up with it, FOR NOW!
“…Fine.”
Whitey…or should I call her now Rarity? Probably should call her that. Wouldn’t want her as an enemy now. However, Rarity was delighted, that I accepted it, although I could swear, I could still see some distress plastered on her face. She probably isn’t so keen to this whole idea either.
“I will watch, if your clothes ar-“
She scrunched up her muzzle.
“Sweet Celestia! What is this…” And realization hit her too.
“You need a bath. Now.”
“Oh! I can bathe with him!”
How did I end up like this?
I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Probably the reason, why it is finished so soon!
But I have to admit that I'm wondering, if I'm showing tendencies of a sadist, for enjoying Laharls suffering in this chapter so much. 
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Let me give this a minute
This is the type of situation Laharl would get into. A nice job on this chapter.
Unicorn kiss is marriage guarantee apparently.
It is weird, and fun at the same time to have such a Sweetiebelle.
there is it, Prince Charming, or his other name Shining armor, i really hate a personality like that, well i don´t hate it, but i don´t like his personality.
It would be funny if his weird Magic would be able to make Sweetiebelle, and himself as strong as the Princesses, i mean the experience points, and the level, could affect her Magic/Body maybe, i don´t know, but still i hope not that she is going to be the strongest all the time, i somehow would like them to be equal after a short amount of time.
I have nothing against the wedding joke, or tradition they made here, but as funny as the story is supposed to be, i hope there is at least one chapter, when he is stronger, or after some time, in which he can make them belive that he doesn´t wanted everything of that, maybe it would be his first attemp to to something bad again, he can still accept her later again, or in the same chapter, i just wanted to be sure, that he isn´t going to do just everything they say to him, and at least make them know, Sweetiebelle made up everything.
Like i said, i have nothing against this, i just wanted to be sure, and already ask for something like that.
I hope you understand how i mean it, one serious chapter, to make them see how the things really are, if he is a bit stronger, and then he could start to want her love too.
lol
You don't. It is tradition for writer to laugh about what they do to their characters, and make everything worse for them. Just to make themselves happy. And YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS TRADITION!
So a unicorn has to marry the first person they kiss. Is it just me or are their so many ways that little rule can go very wrong.
Laharl has to marry Sweetie Bell. I'm looking forward to seeing Rarity's reaction when she finds out who her sister's fiance really is.
Will we see Laharl start raising his level, and getting back to fighting shape soon?
6095669
Laharl tries to get out of this situation and therefore will seek a way to get stronger. Of course all this involves to find his trustworthy companion and get revenge on the princesses. So, he will not always be tame and you can expect something along the lines of your comment to happen.
Wait, which version of ponies are they in this story? Anthro or normal?
6096159
It has an Anthrotag.
Would also be kind of difficult for Laharl to pretend to be a pony, if they were quadruped.
6095726
Depends on...something? I know then he gets stronger, but I personally am not sure, if I should already rush to that part. I plan at the moment to use at least one episode of the season one, before even getting to that part. So, it could be close. It really depends, how I'm going to choose in the end.
I think you meant "That's".
Other than that. Even if I complained in an earlier chapter that the main character can't stand up for himself I find that I can understand his situation better now. Don't disappoint me and keep going.
I don't like how the ponies that fucking stupid!