This is not a smart move. I admire your courage. But this is doomed for failure. The FoE hater will downvote without reading. The FoE fans will downvote once they saw the description and think it's another annoying fix fic and downvote.
Hey there! Congratulations on publishing your first fanfic here on FimFiction ^_^
Well, seeing as it's a Post-FoE story, there's a few things you should remember: You're going to earn lots of downvotes from people who absolutely hate the setting and everything remotely associated with it, without reading a single line of your work. Unfortunate, but true. That's why I suggest you don't take the voting bar too seriously here.
Just write what you want! If someone has valid criticism they're free to write it in a comment, after all.
It's always interesting to see new writers prop up and take a stab at writing FoE content. Having read over this, I'm going to make an assumption in that you might be a new writer? I only ask because you show a lot of the common new writer signs, such as moving a little too fast with the content. I had a little trouble following the action at times, and the ending is a little abrupt. If you don't mind a little friendly advise from one writer to another, feel free to slow down a little with the pacing of your chapters, and show the content rather than tell the reader what is happening. Readers make a stronger emotional connection by reading what characters go through rather than having a narrator tell the reader this and that happened next. I know it sounds a little tricky, so I would suggest expanding your focus - show the reader the cell the mares are in. Is it cold and dirty? Is there just one cell? Can they hear Dust screaming during her time on that sybian? Explore the five senses when you can, and make the reader feel what the characters are going through.
Again just a little advice, not at all trying to tell you how to write. I hope you keep at it and that, most of all, you have fun writing this.
Aside from TWO fics that I actually like because they go a bit deeper with the setting and show it from a pony POV, the majority is Extremely Mary suish, overly exaggerated (and probably wishful thinking) porn.
And I can't read any of those without imagining the author as the fedoraest of bronies trying to get off hating women.
5892139 That does sound interesting alright! I know many people believe NCN is this horrible and evil person, but he's honestly not. Thinking that way just makes them feel better about themselves.
I wish you best of luck; I'll definitely check in again! Oh, and I can only stress taking Sirius' advice to heart, he knows what he's talking about.
I'm sort of new here too, or at least only recently exiting lurk mode, partly because I'm also considering publishing my own FoE based story. As a fellow perspective author (and one who actually has published works elsewhere before), I might recommend that you save the testimonial explaining why you're doing this for the author's notes.
The information in the actual front-cover description shouldn't be about you, it should be about your story and provide a short introductory summary of events or themes you intend to explore. Basically it's your first and really only chance to catche an audience's attention. It needs to be something that inspires interest and makes them curios enough to actually click that first chapter and start reading.
Regardless, here's wishing you the best of luck with this story.
5891995 Personally I'd say it's more like two authors rather than just two stories which go that extra bit deeper, and between the two of them they make up over half of the officially published canon. Though really, even if there was only ONE good story, I think it would still justify everything else bad about the setting if only for having made that ONE god story possible in the first place.
Also the more appropriate trope to site as flaw in the setting would be Villain Sue, which the caribou would qualify as if they stories were actually about them, but that's not really the case. The stories are more so about the ponies, and it's not about their fight against an oppressive regime, but rather a struggles to adapt and survive in this nightmarish world from which they really have no hope of escape. In that context the caribou aren't really so much villains as they are envoys of the apocalypse a sort of "natural disaster" in that just so happens to take the shape of an invading army.
Not Bad. I've been thinking of writing my own rise story because I HATE THE FALL, but the stories so well written and I want to see if things ever get better
Comment posted by MARINEav8r deleted Apr 22nd, 2015
He makes himself look like some demented combination of Vox Day and John Wright, ith a dash of Coconut/Marjan Siklic (the man arrested for demanding a judge provide him with a girlfriend then threatening her.) How d you fix someone with a reputation thatis basically "Worst human in a peaceful society?"
I actually quite enjoy that reference. Are you saying that NCN is actually a feminist woman explaining in excruciating detail the dangers and insanity of MRA domination, to the point of creatig a new language and crafting social and political documents that will live beyond the era in whichthey were written? If not, I maintain that NCN is misnamed. "Creepy Creeperson the Creepyside Creeper of Creep" might get slightly nearer.
5892574 You've noted in the past how you've come to know folks/already knew folks who came to do some seriously fetishy stuff. And you noted how it often turned out they are actually normal people, not monsters. Have you ever considered that maybe you keep jumping to conclusions?
You want to know what the difference is between Marjan Siklic and non_creepy_nickname? The latter never said he actually wants that in real life. You seem to believe everything a person writes always reflects their personal and/or political beliefs 100%. But that's not how people generally operate.
Do you think folks who play violent videogames are betraying a need to kill? Or who watch gore movies? I know a girl who loves gore flicks, the more violent the better. She works as a nurse. In casualty. Because she wants to help people.
I joined Post-FoE because it explicitly wasn't about hurling personal insults around, but... isn't that pretty much what you're doing here? And over with FoE: Hearts&Hooves Day, too?
Admire you concept of starting a revolution in the Fall universe. I'm going to assume your comment about Applejack neutering her brother was a rumor without basis in reality because while the Big Mac in the non-canon story might deserve that, maybe. The one in the Canon story Bruised Apples would never be at risk of that from Applejack.
If it really did happen in your head canon, I would suggest you read Bruised Apples and adjust accordingly. No need for a revision. Rainbow Dash could just find out later that it wasn't true.
You might put out a request for a pre-reader or two. If you can find someone who's good at grammar and spotting typos it can make a huge difference in the presentation of your story.
Comment posted by MARINEav8r deleted Apr 22nd, 2015
Yet, despite her pitiful state, she could not bring herself to hate them; many of the stallions, whether they knew it or not were just as victimized as she was.
Also, great line here. Some people tend to forget that a good deal of the stallions are just as victimized as the mares. I once had an idea of what would happen if Shining Armor suddenly snapped out of mind control and realized what he had done to his wife and baby sister...
As another author who recently started his first fanfic with the FoE plotline, this is some nice work. I look forward to reading more into it when you get back to writting ^^
This is not a smart move. I admire your courage. But this is doomed for failure. The FoE hater will downvote without reading. The FoE fans will downvote once they saw the description and think it's another annoying fix fic and downvote.
Note: I do not dislike your story, it's not bad.
Hey there! Congratulations on publishing your first fanfic here on FimFiction ^_^
Well, seeing as it's a Post-FoE story, there's a few things you should remember: You're going to earn lots of downvotes from people who absolutely hate the setting and everything remotely associated with it, without reading a single line of your work. Unfortunate, but true. That's why I suggest you don't take the voting bar too seriously here.
Just write what you want! If someone has valid criticism they're free to write it in a comment, after all.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/817/493/e77.jpg
It's always interesting to see new writers prop up and take a stab at writing FoE content. Having read over this, I'm going to make an assumption in that you might be a new writer? I only ask because you show a lot of the common new writer signs, such as moving a little too fast with the content. I had a little trouble following the action at times, and the ending is a little abrupt. If you don't mind a little friendly advise from one writer to another, feel free to slow down a little with the pacing of your chapters, and show the content rather than tell the reader what is happening. Readers make a stronger emotional connection by reading what characters go through rather than having a narrator tell the reader this and that happened next. I know it sounds a little tricky, so I would suggest expanding your focus - show the reader the cell the mares are in. Is it cold and dirty? Is there just one cell? Can they hear Dust screaming during her time on that sybian? Explore the five senses when you can, and make the reader feel what the characters are going through.
Again just a little advice, not at all trying to tell you how to write. I hope you keep at it and that, most of all, you have fun writing this.
Come on though... WELL WRITTEN?
Aside from TWO fics that I actually like because they go a bit deeper with the setting and show it from a pony POV, the majority is Extremely Mary suish, overly exaggerated (and probably wishful thinking) porn.
And I can't read any of those without imagining the author as the fedoraest of bronies trying to get off hating women.
5891959 Thank you. At the moment, I am only setting the stage, and introducing the situation, but you are right.
5891918
5891943
I am actually working with non_creepy_nickname to make it fit into canon, and then make an alternate ending with a not-so-dark ending.
5892139
That does sound interesting alright! I know many people believe NCN is this horrible and evil person, but he's honestly not. Thinking that way just makes them feel better about themselves.
I wish you best of luck; I'll definitely check in again! Oh, and I can only stress taking Sirius' advice to heart, he knows what he's talking about.
I'm sort of new here too, or at least only recently exiting lurk mode, partly because I'm also considering publishing my own FoE based story. As a fellow perspective author (and one who actually has published works elsewhere before), I might recommend that you save the testimonial explaining why you're doing this for the author's notes.
The information in the actual front-cover description shouldn't be about you, it should be about your story and provide a short introductory summary of events or themes you intend to explore. Basically it's your first and really only chance to catche an audience's attention. It needs to be something that inspires interest and makes them curios enough to actually click that first chapter and start reading.
Regardless, here's wishing you the best of luck with this story.
5891995
Personally I'd say it's more like two authors rather than just two stories which go that extra bit deeper, and between the two of them they make up over half of the officially published canon. Though really, even if there was only ONE good story, I think it would still justify everything else bad about the setting if only for having made that ONE god story possible in the first place.
Also the more appropriate trope to site as flaw in the setting would be Villain Sue, which the caribou would qualify as if they stories were actually about them, but that's not really the case. The stories are more so about the ponies, and it's not about their fight against an oppressive regime, but rather a struggles to adapt and survive in this nightmarish world from which they really have no hope of escape. In that context the caribou aren't really so much villains as they are envoys of the apocalypse a sort of "natural disaster" in that just so happens to take the shape of an invading army.
Not Bad. I've been thinking of writing my own rise story because I HATE THE FALL, but the stories so well written and I want to see if things ever get better
He makes himself look like some demented combination of Vox Day and John Wright, ith a dash of Coconut/Marjan Siklic (the man arrested for demanding a judge provide him with a girlfriend then threatening her.) How d you fix someone with a reputation thatis basically "Worst human in a peaceful society?"
5892155
5892507
By that logic, George Orwell was a facist because he wrote Nineteen Eighty-Four.
I actually quite enjoy that reference. Are you saying that NCN is actually a feminist woman explaining in excruciating detail the dangers and insanity of MRA domination, to the point of creatig a new language and crafting social and political documents that will live beyond the era in whichthey were written? If not, I maintain that NCN is misnamed. "Creepy Creeperson the Creepyside Creeper of Creep" might get slightly nearer.
5892551
5892574
You've noted in the past how you've come to know folks/already knew folks who came to do some seriously fetishy stuff. And you noted how it often turned out they are actually normal people, not monsters. Have you ever considered that maybe you keep jumping to conclusions?
You want to know what the difference is between Marjan Siklic and non_creepy_nickname? The latter never said he actually wants that in real life. You seem to believe everything a person writes always reflects their personal and/or political beliefs 100%. But that's not how people generally operate.
Do you think folks who play violent videogames are betraying a need to kill? Or who watch gore movies? I know a girl who loves gore flicks, the more violent the better. She works as a nurse. In casualty. Because she wants to help people.
I joined Post-FoE because it explicitly wasn't about hurling personal insults around, but... isn't that pretty much what you're doing here? And over with FoE: Hearts&Hooves Day, too?
Admire you concept of starting a revolution in the Fall universe. I'm going to assume your comment about Applejack neutering her brother was a rumor without basis in reality because while the Big Mac in the non-canon story might deserve that, maybe. The one in the Canon story Bruised Apples would never be at risk of that from Applejack.
If it really did happen in your head canon, I would suggest you read Bruised Apples and adjust accordingly. No need for a revision. Rainbow Dash could just find out later that it wasn't true.
You might put out a request for a pre-reader or two. If you can find someone who's good at grammar and spotting typos it can make a huge difference in the presentation of your story.
Also, great line here. Some people tend to forget that a good deal of the stallions are just as victimized as the mares. I once had an idea of what would happen if Shining Armor suddenly snapped out of mind control and realized what he had done to his wife and baby sister...
As another author who recently started his first fanfic with the FoE plotline, this is some nice work. I look forward to reading more into it when you get back to writting ^^