30. Apple Bucked
--Chapter 30--
Apple Bucked
“I can do this with magic, you know!” Twilight yelled as her body was repeatedly being scratched with a towel. Revan was holding her close with one hand while the other used the towel to dry her up. Mischief was running around them, not interested in being dry as he enjoyed being soaked with water (probably because most people don’t want to pat him then). Twilight attempted to escape via teleportation, but she was interrupted when Revan grabbed her head with both hands and started to rub the towel against her hair, along with her horn.
“I know, but it’s more fun that way.” He replied to her complaint, not caring about it at all. “Besides, I get to touch my Twily all over and she can’t do anything about it.”
“Don’t call me Twily. My brother calls me that and I don’t want others to do so too. It’s giving me strange thoughts.”
“Then what kind of pet name should I give to you...” He thought silently. “I won’t call you Sparklebutt, I only call princesses that way so unless you grow wings someday I’ll have to think of something else...”
“Can’t you just call me Twilight, or Twi?”
“I can, but I always give my girlfriends a pet name that only I use. Well, I guess now it’s ‘marefriend’, isn’t it?” She blushed and smiled lightly as he called her his marefriend, and since she was already dry, she pressed herself against him, wrapping her head and hooves on his neck.
“And I guess I should call you my boyfriend, r-right?”
“Mhm.” He ruffled her massy mane. “And since we’re on the subject, mind explaining something to me?” She lifted her head off of his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. Placing her hooves on his shoulders instead. “Why do you ponies say ‘coltfriend’ and ‘marefriend’ when mare is an adult female and colt a young male?”
“There’s not much to say about it. It’s actually not incorrect to say ‘fillyfriend’ and ‘stallionfriend’ but it simply sounds better to say mare and colt friend. ‘Fillyfriend‘ is used a bit more commonly then ‘stalionfriend’ since... well, it sounds pretty strange.”
“Damn, and here I thought there’s some deeper meaning behind it.”
“What meaning?”
“I dunno.“ He placed Twilight on the ground and got up. Twilight blushed immediately when she realized that he was still naked, and that she was facing his crotch. “Maybe something about mares buying young colts as sex slaves in old ages or something like that."
"Sometimes you have really dark thoughts... But mares buying young colts as slaves was actually a thing long ago. It was some sort of status thing. Having young slaves was considered a symbol of wealth. Of course, it became illegal to possess slaves soon after Princesses Celestia and Luna took over, and the practice died off, despite many nobles protesting."
The human put his clothes back on and called Mischief back with a loud whistle. The dog was lying in the grass, resting after swimming in a lake for a long time. He rose his head and as if he was never tired in the first place, run over to the human and unicorn as they were already going up the hill towards Fluttershy's cottage where Twilight left her bag. They walked in for a moment to leave the towels they took and take Twilight’s bag before moving out to Ponyville. Mischief also took Sennav with him, since the young cat was still sleeping when they went to the lake.
Twilight was of course happy to press herself against human's leg while they walked. "What do you plan to do today?" Twilight asked.
"Let's see... I was going to visit guard post today to inform Fiscal that he's finally free to retire. Then I'll go to Sweet Apples to see if I can borrow a juicer from Granny Smith... and that's about it. I officially start working tomorrow, so today I'm free."
"Oh! So, um… M-Maybe we can hang out sometime later…?” She asked quietly before falling silent, as if hoping that he didn’t hear her.
He did though. “If you want to go on a date just say so. At this point there’s not really anything to be embarrassed about. Unless you’re into hardcore BDSM, you can be embarrassed about that.” He stopped them in place and knelt in front of her, placing both hands on her shoulders. “So how will it be?” Don’t you ever dare to change that innocent attitude… You’re way too cute for that. He thought as he watched a blush spreading on her face.
At first she tried to look away, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. Why am I so nervous!? We already were on a date once, and on top of that we even spent a night together! She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, with poor results. “A-Alright…” She finally mustered a courage to speak. “W-Would you like to go on a… d-date with me?” She hid her face in her hair, feeling as if her heart was going to pop out of her chest.
“Sure.” A wave of relief washed over her. “I don’t know why are you so embarrassed about it though. We’ve been on a date once. Twice if you count the one Pinkie set up.”
“I-I know but I never asked anypony out on a date before and… I never had to organize one before. What if screw this up? What if you won’t like it!? How am I going to-!?” He kissed her lightly, making her go quiet.
“You’re over thinking this.” He ruffled her mane and got up. “Just do whatever you think is right, even if it’s just a walk in a park. One thing though. Don’t rely on dating manuals. They can help since it’s the first time you want to take someone on a date that you set up, but over relying on them never ends well. Trust me, I’ve found out the hard way.”
Revan walked with Twilight to the Library, where they split up. She went inside, likely immediately starting preparations for a date she decided to make happen. Revan meanwhile went in direction of a guard post, where he would likely find Fiscal Cash, a pony who will remain on a position of Ponyville’s head guard until tomorrow.
He was also a grandfather of Filthy Shit Rich.
A fact that initially made him a bit hostile towards the stallion, but it quickly became obvious that the two don’t really like each other and that he’s a white sheep in the family of black sheeps. Revan quickly grew to like him, as he was much like his own grandfather, only a bit more… alive. Most of the time he was sitting in his office, sleeping like dead, was barely able to hear, unless you were shouting into his ear, his eyes were surprisingly good for someone his age but keeping them open for too long always made him sleepy so he mostly sat with closed eyes (which also made him sleepy).
How was he allowed to keep the position for this long was a mystery to the human. Especially since he knew that Fiscal has been sending letters about this to Canterlot, but no replies ever came. His theory was that someone in Ponyville was making sure that a new head guard won’t be sent to the town for some reason, but who that was and why was another mystery.
Revan reached his hand out towards the door that led into the guard post and opened them. Mischief walked in first, placing the cat he was carrying on the ground. Revan followed them inside, entering a short corridor with two doors on opposite sides. The one on the left led to the detention center, and the one on the right to the offices. There were few offices in the post, even though there was never a time when more than two were used at the same time.
There was in fact a second guard in Ponyville during the time Fiscal was a head guard. His second wife was a guard herself and naturally worked alongside her husband. However now she was no longer around to help him, so he’s in here alone. His first wife was a mother of Filthy Shit Rich, but the two divorced when he was two years old. He also had three kids with his second wife, and one still lived in Ponyville, working as a doctor in the hospital. The others have spread all over Equestria, one even following in father’s hoofsteps and becoming a head guard in some bigger city.
Revan walked into the office of the head guard and immediately saw that Fiscal is luckily not sleeping, instead reading a paper while drinking coffee. “Fiscal!” He shouted.
The stallion raised his head. His hair were gray and short just like his tail. The coat on his body was also starting to get gray, but was still mostly blue. “Aw, hello there young one. What are you coming with today? Want a coffee?”
“I’d rather a tea! And hello to you too old one!” The earth pony stallion nodded and got up with an empty cup in hoof. Revan sat down on a chair. “I’ve brought some good news for you!” Revan suddenly heard a coffee machine at work. “I said I’d prefer a tea!”
“I know, I think tea is pathetic too.” Revan rolled his eyes and sighed. “What was it that you wanted to tell me?”
“You’re fired!”
“I’m fried? No, I’m pretty sure I’m not.”
“No, I meant that you can retire!”
“What are you talking about? You know I’m not keeping tires around here.”
Damn it, it took a while to explain that to him… Revan thought to himself as he walked out of the guard post. After five minutes of screaming, the old pony finally understood what Revan was saying and reacted with so much enthusiasm that he feared that he’ll have to reanimate him (which already happened once). Now he was on his way to Sweet Apple Acers, where he plans to get a juicer from Granny Smith and some apples as well.
When he reached the farm, he quickly noticed that the trees on the outskirts of the orchard were completely emptied of apples. Probably Apples decided to speed up the ‘Apple Buck Season’ as they call it. Basically they collect apples on a massive scale, and that’s everything there is to it. This year they were likely forced to start earlier because Rainbow Dash and by extension the weather team are slacking off lately and are not delivering quite as much water to her orchard as they should.
He has noticed that there was a bit more tension between the farmer ant the Pegasus lately, but didn’t think much of it until now. He continued to approach the farmhouse spotting Big Macintosh sitting on a bench in front of a shed with tools, looking at the apple trees. “Hey Mac!” He called out to him, only now noticing bandages wrapped around his midsection. “What happened to you?” He asked after approaching him.
“Angry marefriend.” He answered in his usual tone.
“Another one dumped you?” The stallion nodded. “Wiedziałem, że tak będzie… ((I knew it would happen…)) Dude, I told you already, don’t try being some alpha male. Not only are you really bad at it, but if you’re hoping for a long relationship this simply won’t do. That, and you have to finally open up a bit.”
“You said that already.”
“And you didn’t listen. Anyways, is Granny home?”
“Nope. She took Applebloom and her friends on a trip. They’ll be back in about two or three days.”
“You seriously allowed that old mare take care of three hyperactive kids with destructive possibilities so huge that they’re already banned from entering two shops for vandalism?”
“I assure you, if there’s a mare that can handle those three, it’s Granny Smith.”
“Alright… I assume you don’t know where she keeps her juicer?”
“Nope. And even if I would, I wouldn’t let you take it. Last time I tried to borrow one of her pots without asking I couldn’t sit for a week. That was two years ago…”
Revan sighed. “Alright, I’ll come back later. You need help with anything?”
“Not me, but Applejack sure could use some.” The red stallion got up and slowly walked towards the orchard. “She swore that she’ll collect all apples by herself, and hasn’t gone out of there for a while. She seemed pretty keen on doing everything without help, but you have a thing for convincing others, so you might make her accept some help.”
Revan followed the stallion. “She seriously wants to collect every damn apple in that gigantic orchard by herself? I know she’s good, but not quite that good.” He sighed again. “Alright, it’s not like I have much to do at the moment. Where is she exactly?”
“Knowing her usual way of working, she should be somewhere in that direction.” He pointed his hoof towards the orchard.
“You know her that well?”
“Apple family is close.”
“I hope not too close.”
The stallion looked at Revan with a hint of anger in his eyes. “Are you suggesting something?”
The human just smirked. “Nothing that you wouldn’t think of.” With a chuckle, Revan walked into the orchard. For a few minutes he walked surrounded only by apple trees completely emptied of apples. He quickly noticed that Applejack was systematically moving from tree to tree, which quickly pointed him in a direction she was going towards. As expected, it was the same direction that Big Mac have pointed out.
However, instead of finding the farmer, Revan spotted a familiar purple figure moving between the trees. “Twilight!” He called out. The mare immediately jumped in surprise and hid behind a tree. Revan smiled and turned to Mischief. “Go catch her.” The dog immediately placed Sennav on the ground and rushed at the unicorn, who just peeked from behind the free.
Upon noticing the dog running towards her, she immediately tried to get away. It was too late though. She was only able to make few steps back before she was tackled to the ground and the dog started to lick every inch of her face. “N-No! Stop it!” She tried to protest but her cries remained unanswered. Instead, she felt another tongue touching her cheek. She quickly noticed a small tiger that decided to help his adoptive father in this ‘attack’.
She also saw Revan kneeling at her side. “Please make them staaaaa-ahahahahahah!!!” The human started to tickle her. Now completely unable to fight back, Twilight laughed like mad, though still begging them to stop. Luckily for her, Revan haven’t forced her to withstand this torture for much longer. She laid there for a while trying to get her breath back and remove the saliva from her face. “I’m going to pay you back for this… somehow.”
“Good luck with that.” He chuckled as he helped her get back on her hooves. “Why are you here anyways?”
“I wanted to get some apples from Applejack for... um, something.”
“Mhm, and why are you in the orchard instead of going to the farm?”
“I just saw Applejack in the orchard and thought I’ll go directly to her. I lost the sight of her though.”
“Well, I’m looking for her myself, so let’s go together, shall we?” She nodded and the two begun to walk. “You know, there’s still that thing she did after the hydra. I haven’t really talked with her since then actually.” Revan brought up the subject.
“I know, but I already explained things with her.”
“But I didn’t. I still want to talk with her about the whole thing and explain things myself. I feel that if I won’t, things will get awkward between us really quick, and to be honest, she’s a good friend and I’d rather to remain on good terms with her.” He replied. “Not to mention the fact that she could probably break my bones without trying all that hard. If she ever catches me off guard I might be in trouble.”
“I don’t think it would be that easy for her. Remember what I told you about the way Applejack applies her magic?”
“Somewhat. You said that she’s only using it to either lower the mass and integrity of an object she’s hitting, send shockwaves through that object or increase her strength, right?”
“Yes, and while she’s extremely good at lowering mass and integrity of objects she’s hitting as well as sending shockwaves through them, just like all other Apples we know,” Including Granny Smith, who despite being over one hundred years old like Fiscal, is easily able to carry bags full of apples on her back as if they weighted nothing. “That wouldn’t really do much against you since… you know. Magic doesn’t ‘see’ you. And she’s really bad when it comes to increasing her own strength.”
“I see.” He said as he looked forward. There he saw a all too familiar hat on top of orange colored mare. “I see her.” He informed the unicorn beside him and pointed his finger. Something was strange about her though. From what he could see, Applejack seemed to be dozing off in a middle of cleaning a tree of apples. Something he would never expect to see her do.
They approached closer, seeing as she suddenly wakes up. She mumbled something that neither Revan nor Twilight were able to understand and went back to kicking the tree behind her, forgetting that it is a meter away from her. “Co ona odpierdala? ((The fuck is she doing?))” Revan said.
Applejack repeated the motion after changing her position, but only ended up knocking over a bucket full of apples. “Woops…” She said in a voice so tired that she reminded Revan of the time he made a bet with his friend about who can manage not to sleep longer. He won after three days with no sleep. And his reward was being grounded for a week. A week that he mostly spent in bed.
“Hey Applejack!” The farmer reacted by falling asleep again while still standing in a middle of an orchard. Upon closer inspection, they were able to clearly see the gigantic bags under her eyes. “Applejack.” She repeated after coming closer. “Applejack.” She repeated again. “Applejack!” No reaction. She finally decided to teleport in front of the sleeping pony and yelling in her face. “APPLEJACK!” No response…
“Wait. Let me do it.” Revan approached them both. He placed his hand inside his pocket and pulled out cuboid shaped black object from his pocket.
“That wind turbine of yours worked?” Twilight asked a bit surprised.
“Yeah, and that cable you made worked too. Now I can finally load my phone with some juice, even though the accumulator I attached to the turbine has to charge for several days before what’s stored in there can charge even a bit of energy.”
“I hope you remember our deal… All the things you said about it got me really interested.”
“Of course I do. I’m going to let you play with that thing when we’ll have the time.”
“I’m not going to play with it, I’m going to study it.” She pointed out. “But what do you want to do with it now?”
A smirk appeared on his face. “You’ll see.” She looked as his fingers touch the screen of the device he claims to have more calculating power than her computer, something she still can’t wrap her head around. He pointed the speakers on the back of the phone towards Applejack’s ear and touched the screen again.
“Let the bodies hit the floor…
Let the bodies hit the floor…
Let the bodies hit the floor…
Let the bodies hit the…
FLOOOOOOOR!”
A sound rang from the phone shocking Twilight. Applejack meanwhile finally woke up, shaking her head in confusion. “W-Wha… What’s goin’ on… Granny, ya came back already? Oh, wait. It’s just you two…” She immediately went back to kicking a tree.
“Applejack, just what are you doing?” Twilight asked.
“It's Applebuck season.”
“Apple-what season?”
“They collect apples on a bit bigger scale than usual.” Revan explained, skipping the entire awfully detailed lecture about the meaning and history behind applebuck season given to him by Granny Smith one day he asked too many questions. Even though Twilight would probably be interested in this, now was not the time for that, they had to figure out what’s going on with Applejack.
“Yeah, that.” The farmpony said.
“Alright, but could you tell me why are you doing this alone?” Twilight asked again.
“ ’Cause Big Mac hurt himself.” Revan explained. Actually he got dumped and hit by his ex, but that’s not really important now. He thought to himself.
“And what about all those relatives I’ve seen when we first met? Can’t they help you?”
“*SIGH* They were just here for the Apple family reunion. They actually live all over Equestria and are busy harvestin' their own orchards. So, uh, I'm on my own.” Both Revan and Twilight stepped in front of her. Revan crossed his arms and looked down with a stern glaze. “Which means, I should really get back to work…” They didn’t react. “Ahem... *hint*hint*? Get back to work?”
“Fine…” They stepped aside.
“Um, can ya two step aside?”
“We just did...” Twilight said and exchanged concerned looks with Revan. She must be seeing things wrong… “Applejack, you don’t look good.”
“Eh, don't any of ya three worry ‘bout me, I'm just fine.” Yet again she miscalculated her position in relation to a tree and almost fell over after a failed kick.
Twilight and Revan looked at each other again. “Maybe we could help you?” Revan suggested. “I mean, I’ve already been helping around from time to time, right?”
“Aw, don’t ya worry ’bout that. I’ve got this thing covered. No help needed.”
“For fucks sake…” Revan placed his hand against his face. “Could you stop being so fucking stubborn already and just let us help you?”
“Help? No way, no how!” She said shaking her head in disagreement, almost seeming offended by the proposition.
“But there’s no way you can do this on your own…” Twilight said.
Applejack immediately approached her with an angry. Since the earth pony was significantly higher than Twilight, she looked down at her and forced to lower her head. “Is that a challenge?”
“U-Um…no?” Revan quickly stepped between the two, pushing Applejack away.
Now her angry glaze was focused on Revan “Humph. Well, I'm gonna prove to you that I can do it! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got apples to buck.” And with that said, she walked away.
Revan sighed at that and turned around to look at Twilight. He started to gently rub her head with his left hand. “This is going to end bad… I just know it will.”
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I hope the operation (if it happens) goes well!!!
7690411 it already happened, and I'm already done recovering (pretty much, I still have to go get a check up in about a weak)
7690465 I'm having a guess, the surgery was for your wisdom teeth?
Also, I have a feeling that twilight will question that song in the next chapter.
7692622 When I was 4 I fell over and hit my jaw against a concrete and since then I've had a sack of pus slowly growing inside a bone in my upper jaw. When I had it fixed it was already a hole about as wide as a fingernail inside of that bone. And since no one have expected it to be quite that big, the whole thing got longer, and anesthesia have started to wear off towards the end of the operation... it hurt...
7691322 Thanks for pointing that out, most of those are my fuck-ups
I'll fix those later, when I'll have the time.
7692961 ...Much, MUCH worse then what I thought... My god, Now I feel bad for you. I mean, felt bad when you said you went into surgery, but after what you just said...
7692965
That's cool. There were minor typos throughout the story, nothing significant. (Despite that) I'm loving the story and I'm definitely eager to see what happens next.
[Hope you heal well]
No comment on the quote so far huh
My response FUS RO DAH MOTHER FUCKER
What I find funny is that a lot of people miss the meaning to that quote. If you take an arrow to the knee you tend to drop to one knee. You also drop to one knee when proposing. It is a manlyier way to say he got married.