33. Newcommer
--Chapter 33--
Newcommer
The sun moved across the cloudless sky, mercilessly showering the ground below with heat. Everyone with more than 2 brain cells was trying to cool down, mostly in the lake near the town. In fact most of Ponyville’s population was here. Even the lessons in school were stopped to let students cool down in the water. There was one person who couldn’t allow himself to embrace the coolness of the lake though. That person was Revan.
As he was now Ponyville’s head-guard, as well as it’s only guard for the time being, he had a job to do. And that job was making sure there are no accidents and that nopony gets out of line. Something he can’t do sitting with his head in cool water. He can’t even occasionally walk over to the lake and splash some water on his face. The place was so thick with ponies that someone his size would have to step on more than one head to get to the water, and once he did, the probability of someone accidentally kicking his head would be pretty high. Even if he could hide in some building it didn’t matter. Ponies are yet to master the art of air conditioners.
And so, he was stuck sitting on a hill without any shadow whatsoever to hide in (all spots under trees were taken), forced to endure the heat. “Ghhhh…” He growled as he looked at Mischief who managed to push his way into the water. His body fell onto the heated grass and he raised his hand towards the sun, pointing his middle finger at it. “Fuck you, Celestia…” Even in his half conscious state, he could swear he saw words ‘fuck you too’ written on sun. “Bitch…”. The sun responded with a word ‘dick’.
“I don’t think she’s the one to blame honestly…” A voice called from behind. His eyes turned towards it and a small smile appeared on his face.
“Cześć, Iskierka.” He greeted Twilight Sparkle, the one pony who could help him at the moment. He called her ‘Iskierka’ which means ‘Sparkle’ in Polish as he had promised to find her a nickname that only he’s going to use, and that was the best he came up with. Most of things that popped into his head sounded like something you would call your dog. He saw her horn shine and his smile grew. Soon the area around him grew cooler thanks to her magic. He took a deep breath. “Damn it, I love you.”
As she approached him, he wrapped his arm around her neck and pushed his body back into sitting position. She was thrown over his body and landed in his lap. It’s been a few weeks since their relationship started, and she got used to him throwing her around like a doll whenever he had a chance. The fact that she’s a total masochist helped a bit. Seeing the purple mare in Raven’s lap, Mischief quickly rushed out of water and approached them, giving both of them a quick lick to the face before lying his wet body at Revan’s side, enjoying the coolness brought by the unicorn. “If Sunbutt’s not to blame who is? It’s her damn fireball of death that’s been melting my skin off before you came here.”
“Rainbow.”
“Oh, right. I completely forgot…” He thought in silence for a moment. “She’s employed by the government, right?” Twilight nodded. “Then don’t worry. I’ll get her lazy ass to work in no time. There is quite a few rules she’s breaking by not fulfilling her duties properly. What is she doing anyway? She’s been screwing up with keeping the weather working according to plan from Cloudsdale for a while now. That heavy rainstorm on the night you got drunk for the first time, the fact that applebuck season had to be rescheduled to an earlier date because there wasn’t enough rain, the catastrophe on the beginning of new term in school, the current wave of heat… And more...”
"I don't really know. I've seen her fly around the hills on the way to Fluttershy's cottage on my way here, but what that mare's doing is beyond me." She made herself comfortable on Revan's lap. Her nose was quickly pressed against the human's chest and she started to sniff it happily. "On the other note, Your subordinate is supposed to arrive today."
"I know." For a moment Revan thought he saw somepony disappearing in the deeper part of the lake, but after a moment he saw the mare who turned out to be Derpy emerge from under water. The mare may be a dimwit, but she sure as hell knows how to swim. "They've sent me some stuff about her. Her name's Icy Knot. She's 27, Unicorn and was a part of Canterlot's guard force for 8 years with perfect records. Was even considered for joining royal guard at some point and almost managed to get in, but didn't manage to pass the tests she had to take. Both of her parents are dead, no siblings or any other family. She actually lived in Ponyville for a while. Her grandmother was taking care of her for a few years after death of her parents and after her death she moved to Canterlot where she enrolled into guard academy and became a guard at the age of 19."
"You have a good memory, you know. Anything else?"
"She's not married."
Twilight immediately raised her head and faced him with a sulky expression. "And exactly why did you mention it?"
"Well, for one thing you asked if I know more, and since I did I thought I might tell you. Also, you're cute when you get jealous. And making you jealous is almost ridiculously easy." She blushed a little but kept the sulked expression on her face. "Oh, come on. You know I'm as loyal as a dog. Wouldn't go looking for another girl even if they paid me. And to be honest I feel like Icy might not be all that fond of me."
Twilight sulk gave in under her curiosity and confusion. "Why is that?"
"For one thing, her name is Icy. I’ve been here over a month, and I managed to figure out that names can tell a lot about a pony in question. Especially if at some point in their life they change their name, like Icy did. The other thing is her record of service. As I mentioned, she’s as clean as a glass of vodka… but an ice cold one. The records I received on her mention several times that her attitude towards co-workers is… less than friendly. By which I mean that nopony managed to stand working with her for more than two months. Ponies from Guard station were taking turns on working with her and changed every week. None of them wanted to deal with her shit more than necessary.
And when fresh meat would arrive… they would immediately be assigned under her as some sort of rite of passage. And then everyone else would take bets on how long will it take for the newbie to request reassignment. Sometimes it only took a few days. She’s rarely seen talking to others, and just sits in a corner by herself. From what I can tell, the reason why she was moved here is because of that ridiculous anti-social attitude. People from her old station think working in a smaller community might help her break out of her shell. Despite everything they’re still trying to reach out to her.”
“Yeah, I guess that might make her difficult to handle...”
“The fact that she's particularly hostile towards stallions might make things even harder. Not that I can blame her really…”
“And why’s that? Something happened to her?”
“Yup. But I’m not going to spread it around. Hopefully, being a man instead of stallion will make things easier.”
“Well, I won’t prey. And don’t worry about her attitude. Me and girls will surely-“
“Actually I’d like you to ask them to be less forward with her if possible.” Twilight was puzzled for a moment but quickly caught on. “Especially Pinkie. I won’t ask her to not throw her a party; that would be a freaking torture for that mare, but I feel that if the whole the Ponyville suddenly becomes her best friend, she’ll just hide in her shell and won’t come out. Gotta take baby-steps with her kind.”
“Her kind?”
“I’ve handled girls like that before. The trick is to not be too pushy but make sure she knows you care. At some point she’ll come out of her shell on her own. Takes a while but pays off.”
“And exactly how did you acquire that information?”
“Well, I used to date a girl like that.” Twilight’s sulk appeared yet again. “What? You do know I’ve dated way more than one girl before you, right? And just so you know, I ended only one of those relationships by myself. I always take those with an intent of carrying things on to the end.”
“And why didn’t you carry on to the end with her?”
“Because she died.” Twilight's jealousy vanquished again. "Don't give me that look. That was years ago. Had more than enough time to get over it." Twilight quickly realized that he was lying. One thing she learned about Revan over past weeks, is that he's really good at hiding his feelings if he doesn't want you to know. But this time, just one look into his eyes was enough to realize it still hurts him to this day.
But she had no way of knowing how much...
As Revan predicted, in few minutes the lake that used to be full of ponies was now almost completely empty. The only ones who stayed were children and ponies that didn’t have any job to do at the time. Twilight went back to the library by herself, clearly still bothered by what he told her before. Revan himself was still thinking about what happened. Bringing it up was a mistake. Now he couldn’t focus on one thing as he struggled to keep the memories in check.
And those were not the kind of memories that leave you alone easily.
By the time he got to the train station he was barely paying attention to his surroundings. His face was getting more and more pale by the second. Ponies around obviously noticed. Some tried to ask him what’s wrong, but he didn’t even hear them. Cold sweat started to cover his body as he started to feel dizzy. His hand started to shake slightly with each ragged breath he took. Suddenly, two shapes flashed before his eyes. One kneeling on the ground, the other standing over it, holding its head by the hair, with something in the other hand.
The kneeling shape turned its head towards him and quietly muttered one word. “Help…” But before he could react, a smell of blood filled his nose. He felt something splash against his face. He heard a laugh. His heart nearly stopped and the scars on his back started to ache.
But just as he was about to reach a point of no return, something shook him out of this memory. “Revan, what’s wrong!?” His eyes slowly went back to normal. A pink face of Pinkie Pie slowly appeared in front of him. She was holding his face in both hooves, squeezing it tightly. Revan slowly looked around. He didn’t remember when he sat on the bench at the train station. He figured he probably did it unconsciously as he started to lose it. Ponies around were looking at him. Not a surprise for him. He probably looked worse than he felt.
“Heh…” He let out a weak laugh, placing hand against his forehead. “And here I thought I’ve gotten over it…” And yet just mentioning it got me going…
“Gotten over… what?” Pinkie said. He looked up at her. There was no point in telling her to not spread it around. There are at least ten ponies on the station now. And some who saw it probably left already. Knowing how things in Ponyville work, his little episode will be the main topic of town’s newspaper tomorrow.
He sighed and got up. “Nothing I like to talk about.” Normally Pinkie is pretty pushy when one of her friends have some problems, but she knew when she shouldn’t push the subject. And now was one such moment. After another deep breath, Revan spoke again. “What are you doing here anyway? You’re not leaving Ponyville are you? I don’t think this town can stay as it is without you.” He tried being a bit humorous, but he ended up looking like a zombie attempting to smile.
“Oh, don’t worry about that. It’s just my Pinkie sense telling me I’m going to meet a new friend.” Deciding it’s better to not point that out she played along with his attempt to lighten things up. “And why are you here, huh? Not leaving Ponyville are you? I don’t think Twilight would appreciate this.” Her indirect method of cheering him up seemed to have worked a bit. Mentioning the mare he loved gave him something happy to think about instead.
“Well, I heard a word that somepony new might come to town. Thought I’ll keep her company until you throw a party.”
“Oh! That’s nice of you! Now I can prepare a party instead of making a tour around the town. But I guess it won’t hurt to greet her would it?” With that said, Pinkie positioned herself on the bench next to Revan.
“That’s all nice and good, but mind if I ask you to be less pushy than usual? Girl has a difficult personality and I’d like to avoid unnecessarily irritating her.”
“Um… Ok, but… It’s still okay to throw a party, right?”
“I wouldn’t ask you not to.” She sighed with relief. “Alright, I can already see the train. She’ll be here in few minutes.” He pulled a photo out of his pocket. Pinkie quickly peaked at it herself. On it, she saw a white mare with one eye covered by an eyepatch, which was in turn covered with her hair. The other eye had a cool, light shade of blue. Her mane was short, reaching only down to her neck. The only longer part, was the lock of hair that covered the eyepatch.
Revan didn’t let her have a good look, he quickly hid the photo back in his pocket. “Alright, I’ll be going then. Where should I make the party?”
“Go to the Guard post.” He threw her the keys. “Just don’t go taking peeks at all the files there. I’ll get in trouble for that.”
“Sure thingy, Revi! Pinkie Promise.” The mare bounced away, humming a song to herself. Revan sighed as he looked at her leaving. By now the interest in him toned down enough for ponies around to stop occasionally looking at him. It was then that he finally realized that his hand is touching something warm. He looked down at it, only to see Mischief’s head under his palm.
The dog was looking up at him with something resembling concern in his eye.
This finally brought a genuine smile to his face. “Worried about me again, huh?” He started gently moving his hand from side to side. “You really are the best buddy I could have asked for...” Soon enough something else appeared in his hand. Or rather on it. Seeing that Mischief’s quietly enjoying himself, Sennav has climbed on top of the dog’s head and placed his paws on Revan’s hand.
The little cub has started to grow over past few weeks. He was still small, but now weighted enough to make Mischief’s neck hurt when he climbed on his head. Knowing that, Revan picked the tiger up with his free hand and placed him on his shoulder where he started to ruffle his head. When he decided to sit down again, Mischief hopped onto the bench along with him and lied his head on his legs, demanding more patting.
He got so absorbed in the task that he barely noticed it when the train actually arrived.
Not moving his hands away from his companions, he started to look around, searching for Icy. He couldn’t find her anywhere though. The train wasn’t that full, so he couldn’t have missed her. When he started to consider that he might have been wrong about the time of her arrival, He noticed her leave the train as the last pony. Ah, right… I should have expected.
As he’s not exactly hard to spot in the crowd, she quickly saw him and approached. She didn’t seem surprised by his appearance, probably because she was given some photos of him before, but the fact that he had a huge dog and a small tiger sitting on him did make her pause for a second, giving Revan a small peak at what she's hiding behind her mask. “Are you the head-guard here?” She quickly got herself together and quickly covered the chink in her armor with added hint of hostility in her voice, and asked a question despite already knowing the answer.
If right now Revan simply answered, she would have responded with ‘I see’ or something like that and then left without a word. To prevent that, he didn’t answer at all, instead he got up and motioned her to go with him.
Since noticing her, Revan started to pay close attention to her movements; reading her reactions to determine what kind of person she really is. When he got up to his full height, he noticed that her ears have moved back a little for a moment. This made him suspect she used to be a pretty timid person, not quite Fluttershy’s level, but enough for it to manifest outside of her ‘armor’ despite her best efforts to suppress it. This made Revan want to smile, but he stopped himself and turned to Icy, who as he expected, got confused and followed him. “Revan Spicer, Equestria’s first human, nice to meet you. I’m going to be the one handling you around here.”
“I’m not a dog that you can just ‘handle’.”
“I never said you were. But to answer your question from before. Yes, I am in fact Ponyville’s head-guard.”
“I see.” She said what he expected. Now however, he forced her to walk alongside him, which won’t allow her to just run off somewhere.
“Now, I introduced myself, but I have yet to hear your name.”
“You don’t need to hear it. You have received all the information that you need from the higher-ups.” She’s obviously not happy about it, but considering her personal history, it’s not much of a surprise for the human.
“You’re misunderstanding my request. I don’t want you to tell me your name because as you pointed out, I already do. I just want to hear you say it. You got info about me too and I still introduced myself haven’t I? So stop being so damn grumpy and introduce yourself like a good behaving pony.”
She glared at him from the side in a way that truly fit her name. “Icy Knot. Nice to meet you.
Satisfied with this, Revan stayed quiet from then on. He accompanied her to the Town Hall and when she was done there, he also tagged along to her house. As he thought she remembered the town rather well, though he noticed her looking at some houses as she passed. Mostly the ones that were new. In particular she stared at the Sugarcube Corner. She probably had some memories with the place, as it was around pretty much since the town was funded.
She completely ignored ponies staring at her and talking as they passed. She didn’t ignore him though. Every now and then she would look at him with expression that was supposed to make him leave her alone. He naturally didn’t react at all, simply walking slightly behind her. Once she realized this isn’t going anywhere, she attempted to walk faster to tire him out, but that plan blew up in her face. She got a first hand example of how superior his stamina is to hers, and how fast he can walk compared to a pony.
He actually started to increase the pace and tired her out instead.
“I expect to see you at the Guard post in an hour.” He said as the reached her old house and walked off without another word. The house was sitting empty for a few years, so it’s probably going to need some cleaning, but he doubted this will happen today. The building itself was fairly big for just one pony to live in, and she is sure as hell not going to get herself a roommate, so Revan guessed that she’s going to only clean one bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. Knowing her type she’ll spend most of her time sitting in her room, as far away from everypony as possible.
A guess that was more or less confirmed when he saw her covering windows in one room with curtains.
Ponies quickly started to approach him, asking questions about the newcomer. Some ponies recognized her, and wanted to greet back in the town, but Revan told them to let her have her space for now. He seriously doubted she would open the door to anyone who isn’t about to be eaten by a pack of Timberwolves anyways. And even then, he wouldn’t bet on it.
He went back to the Guard Post, where Pinkie was already finishing the preparations for the party. His office and the basement were the only places where anything important was, and those were locked tight, but since Pinkie knows how to open locks and is in fact quite good at it, he checked both places to make sure nothing’s missing. He trusts Pinkie, but at the same time he never knows when will this mare get a crazy idea into her head and decide to act on it, even when Pinkie Promise is involved.
“How many Ponies will be here?” He asked as he returned from the basement.
“I had a hunch and asked around, and looks like there are some ponies who know who she is. Nopony seemed to be friends with her though.”
“Yeah, she used to live here, but was a serious shut in. I imagine the only ponies who would be on somewhat friendly terms with her are her old classmates. Cheerilee among them. I just can’t figure out how. Icy’s three years younger.”
“Oh, that’s because our kind and loving teacher was quite a rebel in her young years. She didn’t manage to get to another class three times in a row. Then her father got pissed and set her so straight she became a teacher.”
“Yeah, I can sympathize... Anyway, you’re inviting her, right?”
“Now that I know they were classmates, I can’t just ignore it! I remember the whole list of ponies from her class, and a few of them are still in Ponyville. I’ll have them come over. And girls too, obviously. I’m not throwing a party without them”
“You do that. I bought you an hour, so use it to your heart’s content. Need me for anything?”
“Nope, you just wait here. You don’t know who to look for anyway.”
“I do actually. How do you think I knew she and Cheerilee were classmates.”
“You know that list too?” Pinkie asked, clearly surprised.
Revan thought for a moment, scratching his head. “Cheerilee, Icy Knot, Flazing Gaze, Morning Dot, Apple Tone, Quick Silver, Small Finding, Red-”
“Alright, got the message. So you go to Cheerilee, Morning Dot and Red Bull, I’ll get the girls and the rest. Oh, and you can also pick up Barry’s special box. Tell her I sent you.” Revan smiled at the words ‘Berry’s special box’. He knew very well that this night he’ll be coming home drunk. But not as drunk as everyone else.
“Cheerilee! You there!?”
“I’m here, no need to shout for Celestia’s sake!” The irritated teacher went out of the schoolhouse. Revan came to her house before but since she wasn’t there he figured she stayed in school even though the classes are already over. “How can I help you?” She cleared her throat and said. “I’m kinda in the middle of something.”
“In the middle of sucking your coltfriend’s di-”
“SHHHHHHH!!!” She quickly silenced him before he finished the sentence. “Not now please. I’m talking with Tiara’s parents, now. Please, don’t tease me about this now...” She whispered just loudly enough for him to hear.
“Yeah… that was pretty awkward… but at least it was me and not some poor kid who forgot his bag, right?”
“Just… just tell me why are you here…” She peeked back into the schoolhouse. “Quick.”
“Fine. Your old classmate came back to town. Pinkie’s throwing a party and we want you there in about half an hour. Sounds good?”
“Half and hour!?” She looked back inside. “They’re not going to leave for another two hours at least! And who’s coming back anyway?”
“Icy Knot.”
“Don’t remember her.”
“The one with an eye-patch”
“Oh… now I remember… Well, it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t come. Sorry.” Just as she was about to turn around and return to the building, she noticed that Revan smiled. “What is it?”
“I think I can clear some time for you.” He went past her and ignoring her attempts to stop him, walked inside, lowering his head. “Hi there, fancy meeting you here.” The moment Filthy Rich and his wife who’s name he couldn’t remember turned their eyes towards the human, they both frowned. As it is with most of Ponyville’s more wealthy ponies, these two were not very fond of him. Especially since he caught their daughter smoking with some of her friends.
After seeing this, he forced all of them to keep going until they run out of cigarettes. They didn’t manage though. There was so much of that stuff that before they went through half of it, they were all crying and begging him to let them go home. Afterwards he had Filthy Shit’s minion visiting him at Fluttershy’s house in attempt to threaten him. An attempt in which Revan was the one who ended up doing the intimidating part.
His ‘therapy’ seemed to work though. He’s never heard of Tiara or her friends smoking from that day on. And he had Pinkie follow them around.
“What is this monkey doing here miss Cheerilee?” Filthy Shit asked with barely contained anger.
The teacher tried to reply, but her answer was incomprehensible gibberish of a panicked mare. “Well, I’m here to make an inspection of this building. The last inspection was years ago, and it is my duty as Ponyville’s head-guard to change that. Of course that means I will have to search everyone within the building at the time of the inspection. This will take a couple of hours, during which you will not be allowed to leave the building.”
“This is preposterous! I have a visit to spa scheduled right after this meeting is over. I don’t have time to play along with this nonsense. And I will not allow you to touch me with those things you have instead of hooves! Disgusting!” Filthy’s wife protested.
“Well, then you better leave before I start.” With a mixture of anger and irritation painted on their faces, both of them left the schoolhouse. “You can thank me now.” He said to the teacher once they were out of hearing range. She immediately dropped to the floor with the biggest sigh of relief he’s heard in a while. “But just so you know, I still plan on making that inspection. Just not today. Maybe tomorrow.” He looked out of the window. I better wait until they are further away from here. “I will look around for a bit though. Don’t want you hiding anything when I walk out.”
He moved towards a big locker in a corner of the classroom. “No, wait!” Cheerilee tried to stop him, but it was too late. The moment Revan opened the locker, a stallion fell on the floor. Revan quickly saw an erection standing proudly between his legs and looked at the teacher who was blushing furiously. “I-I can explain!”
Revan dropped two crates full of alcohol on the table. “Alright, everything’s here.” Hearing his voice, Pinkie stopped looking through the window and turned towards him.
“Good, she’s almost here. You really took your time with that stuff you know. You barely made it before her.” Rainbow pointed out.
“I know, no need to rub it in. It’s Berry’s fault.”
“Yes, yes, we all know she has a thing for you. But you have a marefriend for Celestia’s sake. Just tell her to give up.” She pointed at Twilight, who hasn’t spoken a word since she came in. Probably beacuse she already heard about Revan’s episode at the train station, as did everyone here. They just didn’t ask questions.
“That’s not quite as easy as you might think. At least not in this case.”
“And what could possibly-”
“Quiet, Rainbow.” Pinkie silenced her. “You’ll ruin the surprise.”
“Just remember everyone. No loud noises, flashing lights and anything like that.” He quickly snatched the remote of Pinkie’s cannon from her mane. A quiet ‘damn it’ left her mouth.
Moments later, the door to the Guard Post opened. Pinkie and everyone else except for Revan hid all around the place. “Nice you’re here. I was afraid you wouldn’t leave your fortress.”
She didn’t say anything, just walked up to him. The signal was obvious, she just came to do what she has to and will leave once she’s done. “What do you need me for?” In response Revan lifted his right hand and snapped his fingers.
In that moment lights lit up, and everypony in the room came out of their hiding spot. “Surpri-!” *SMACK* Revan smacked Pinkie’s head with a karate chop. “Sorry.”
“What the hell is that supposed to be?” Icy didn’t seem surprised. She seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Revan quickly saw through the facade. She looked at the few party decorations that were hanging around. Next, she looked at the group of her old classmates. “Cheerilee?”
“Oh, so you remember me after all!” Quite happy about it, the mare approached Icy. “You see, since Pinkie settled in the town, we have a little tradition. Every newcomer gets a welcome party. No exceptions.”
“I don’t want any parties though. Not to mention the fact that a guard post is hardly a place for one.” She stared at Revan. “I’m pretty sure that breaks some rules.”
“Then you are pretty wrong. If we were throwing the party in the offices, then yes, that breaks quite a few regulations. But, as you can see, we are in the area available to public. Don’t worry about anything, I checked and prepared everything. Or rather, I had Pinkie do it for me. I was busy dealing with a horny alcoholic.” He sighed at the memory, but then started to chuckle. “Just like my 18th birthday...”
“Again with that? What the hell happened on your 18th birthday?” Rainbow asked. Meanwhile, Cheerilee was keeping Icy busy with a conversation along with another one of her classmates. It was clearly a good choice to bring her here. She must have figured out what Revan did long ago and knows how to handle someone like Icy. “Hey, answer me! What happened? I wanna know!” Rainbow repeated, this time with a bottle of Berry’s special in her hooves.
“The better question is, what didn’t happen.” He noticed that Twilight, Fluttershy and a few others were listening. Pinkie was in the meantime making sure everyone has a good time, Icy included, though she was clearly trying not to bother her too much. “I mean, there were people playing poker, few guys were racing with tractors, a stripper I befriended visited and started a show, then the alcohol ended and the few still sober people had to go buy some so they took a Tractor and rode to the closest shop through the fields while a group of my friends started to run after them, and when we were waiting a freaking orgy started-”
“Say what!?” Rainbow screamed. “An orgy? You serious?”
“Yup. When they came back with the alcohol they had one hell of a surprise waiting for them.”
Rainbow smiled and then started to laugh so hard everyone in the room started to look at them. “Man, you are impossible! What did your mother say about that!?”
“Rainbow, my mother started this orgy...” Suddenly, she stopped laughing.
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That last line, holy Godzilla that killed me!
Dat ending.
Sir, you deserve two medals: one for creating this awesome story and another one for that last line.
ooo its back
See my previous video link.
Then
Double negative.
supposed
she's or she is
I believe that either word should not there, or ‘‘town of’’ should be put behind ‘‘whole’’
the scars
than usual
That last part makes me uncertain whether or not it is a double negative.
the
what she's
got up and motioned
a pretty timid person
to
with an expression
greet
Unnecessary space prior to the comma.
The irritated teacher
One ‘‘she’’ too many.
One ‘‘to’’ too many.
Probably because
me
8395431
Thanks. I'll take care of those tomorrow, I'm too fucking tired to do anything now..
It's always the anime that people are getting caught up in now. By the way good chapter.
i remember the day after my 18 b day that is all i will say.
camo.derpicdn.net/c1f3f3f4a1ae889ad88269d3c0ab30f66fb26867?url=https%3A%2F%2Flh3.googleusercontent.com%2F-ZKqS8Q03vmE%2FWRtR6n5zXfI%2FAAAAAAAAAz0%2F69RS6b8uUdkw9jkoNtufyN7MfRsLlalmwCJoC%2Fw506-h750%2FMedicMeme.jpg
Oh Lord I am loving this story so much and I can't wait for more!
8563099
Thanks. Might take me a while though. I kinda started playing Persona 5 and well... in this month alone I already spent 130+ hours on this... And I kinda want to play P4 too... And P3 as well... Then maybe watch the anime adaptations...
God, what am I doing with my life...
This still going on?
8669296
One word. "Persona"
Hope this is still continuing. Would love to see a story like this finished, or continued.
8773054
Unfortunately not. I will post an update chapter explaining why exactly. Though I will say this. It's not entirely improbable that I will at some point return to this story.
Cool, I always like seeing stories that have a lot of chapters, it shows the author is writing for entertainment and loves writing. Which is something many writers need, to love what they are writing.
8563948
What are you doing? Not having chapter, is what you are doing.
Fix, Plz?
That's one he'll of a mother he got
9470889
ころせ ころせ おや など ころせ
ころせ ころせ すべてを ころせ
サツガイセオ
9474585
Uhm?
One day this story will come back
More good