23. Stormy Night
--Chapter 23--
Stormy Night
It wasn’t long before Revan was allowed to leave the hospital. His wounds were much less serious than those he suffered from after Nightmare Moon incident and for the most part they were healed. That being said, he still had to walk with forearm crutch to help him walk (obviously it had to be made specifically for him, since ponies have no need for things like that) and he still needed to take medicine that would help him get over manticore’s venom.
The medicine was meant to stabilize heart rate, since the venom mainly attacks heart. It is effective, but also lives a annoying side effect that can last even up to two weeks. Sudden dizziness and sleepiness. For ponies this problem isn’t so apparent as it is with him because of ponies having much lower hearth rate than humans.
Mischief was also getting better. He was able to walk, and even run short distances without help. His fur was growing back fast thanks to Zecora’s magical potions and creams (obviously Revan was still not given a chance to thank her for all she did for him and Mischief).
The dog was currently walking alongside Revan, with little tiger on his back. The little cub has managed to get both Mischief and Revan to like (and love him, but neither would admit it) him, despite both of them usually being less then friendly towards cats. When it comes to name for him, a lot of suggestions came from everyone around. Khan, Kaktus, Shii-Ran, Order, Shaw, Naruhodo, Kitten, Kotdopalenia, Furio and many more, but in the end, Revan did what he always does when he has to think of a name for something.
He took a piece of paper, wrote down some random letters and then proceeded to modify what he wrote until it looked like a name. The effect of that was a name he has blessed the tiger with: Winston Payne Sennav. Or Sen for short.
The three of them were just leaving the hospital building. “Do svidaniya!” Revan turned around and spoke to Red Heart.
“I don’t even know what that means!” She yelled from behind the desk.
Revan just laughed at that and opened the hospital’s door. Mischief was the first one to exit, happy to finally be able to feel grass underneath his paws. He placed the cub on the ground as well, allowing him to walk on his own for a while. It seemed that Mischief has taken his role as an ‘adoptive parent’ rather seriously, or at least as serious as he can. The dog was in fact taking care of the cub more than Fluttershy did, and often stopped her from doing so.
Revan smiled as he saw Mischief rolling in the unkempt grass around the hospital. He walked out of the building, using the crutch to help himself walk. He didn’t really need to walk with it (Octavia has certainly proven that he can do that and much more the previous day) but Red has decided that he should be using it, and he wasn’t going to argue with her about that.
The weather outside was at the time sunny and windy, but from where he was, Revan could see dark storm clouds forming, or rather being prepared by Rainbow and her team.
He knew that there was a storm coming from the Everfree when he was unconscious after the fight with a manticore, but storms from Everfree are never allowed to leave the forest. This was the first rainstorm since he has arrived, and it seemed like the Weather Team was really going at it.
He continued to walk towards the town, with Mischief and Sen eventually stopping to roll in the grass and joining him. There weren’t many ponies outside at the moment. Most of them were already in their homes to avoid getting soaked by the rain. Revan was about to double his speed to get into Fluttershy’s cottage as fast as he could, but suddenly he heard a familiar voice of Applejack calling out to him. “Revan! Come over here, we need help!”
He turned towards her. Rarity was standing behind her, removing branches off the tree. “What is it?”
“We have to get the broken branches off the trees before the storm, but… let’s say that Rarity isn’t that much of a help…” Meanwhile, Rarity has turned few branches into mini works of art. “Ah need help from someone who isn’t afraid of a bit of dirty work, you’re in?”
Revan looked at the storm clouds. “Shouldn’t this be done before the storm?”
“Yup, but Rainbow begun anyways.” She groaned. “Not only does she forget about providin’ the crops with rain, but when she does make it rain, she begins a storm and completely forgets about safety of the ponies. Sweet Celestia, who made that mare the weather team Capitan?” She ranted as she removed the branches with her lasso.
Revan has also joined, removing the branches that were within his reach. “She’s a Capitan because she can work in difficult situations and coordinate actions on a whim, which is required when you’re dealing with Everfree. You do have a point however, long term planning isn’t her best quality.”
Suddenly, Rarity’s focus shifted from creating a statue of a cat from branches onto Revan. “Darling, I haven’t seen you coming!” She quickly rushed in for a quick hug. “Tell me how are you? Anything hurts?”
“Nah, everything’s fine. I’m just going to have to rest a bit until that venom is fully out of my body.”
“And how long would that be?”
“Few days, maybe a week. Shouldn’t take more than that.”
“That’s good darling, I was afraid that- *SUDDEN EXAGGERATED GASP* you need to go to Fluttershy’s cottage NOW! Go! Before the rain starts!”
“What? Why?”
“You’re clothes! They’ll get wet!”
“So? They’re not made of sugar.” Or are they?
“But- but they can get dirty!”
“And I can wash them. Listen Rarity, I know you’re put effort into making this, and I truly appreciate it, but know that I simply don’t care about clothes as much as you do, even if I’m wearing them all the time.”
“Eh, alright, I’ll let this slide, but watch out, please. I don’t like to see my work covered in dirt.” With that said they continued to work together for the next half an hour, clearing the loose branches from the town while Mischief and his new assistant piled the branches inside a cart pulled by Applejack’s brother, Big Mackintosh.
Rarity and Applejack begun to grow quite hostile throughout the job, mostly it was Applejack fussing about Rarity not focusing on the work hard enough. For Revan it was quite annoying, but he ignored it anyways.
The last few trees had little to none branches left, so while Revan, Applejack and Rarity cleaned up the last section, Big Mac went back to the farm with the full cart. However they were unable to avoid being caught up in the rain and before they were done the rainwater has already soaked their clothes and fur. Applejack at least found a cover under a table, but Revan couldn’t fit under it and Rarity straight up refused to get dirty.
Luckily for them the salvation came shortly, Twilight’s library was nearby, and she spotted them. “Revan! Applejack! Rarity! Come in!” She called out to them. Rarity was the first one to rush towards the library (in absolutely lady-like way), followed by Mischief with Sennav under him and Revan behind them. However, the moment Applejack attempted to enter, Rarity stopped her, pointing at her dirt-covered hooves.
“God damn it, its fucking cold out there.” Revan said, shaking a bit. Be glad you have fur, ponies.... “Hey Twilight, mind if I take a shower?” He asked as he begun untying his shoes.
“Of course! Let me show you the way!” She said enthusiastically as she began pushing him forward.
“No, Twilight wait-!” He tried to protest but the unicorn already begun to push him, resulting in him tripping over. And as it usually is when the two of them are together, Twilight ended up falling on top of him.
For a short while they looked in each other's eyes, until Twilight spoke up. “Um, I-I'm standing on your crotch aren't I?” She said blushing.
“No, actually this time you're pressing your crotch against mine...” He replied, blushing as well. There’s also a fact that you’re kinda wet... or that’s just the rain... and I’m not sure which answer do I prefer... She immediately stood up and so did Revan.
“U-um... A-anyway, the bathroom is right there.” She led him to the bathroom, this time without any unnecessary pushing. She soon returned to Rarity and Applejack, who were back to arguing. “Some storm, huh? The Pegasus ponies sure have outdone themselves this time. I hope you and Applejack don't have any trouble getting home.”
“It may indeed be a problem.” Rarity replied.
“Ah’m more interested in what the buck were you doin’ with Revan there?”
“O-oh, it was just a accident, nothing more really.” Twilight replied, with her blush returning in full force.
“Didn’t look like an accident to me…”
Twilight was about to say something more, but Rarity cut in. “And what if it wasn’t an accident? What if they liked it? Would you stop them from going further?” She said.
“You know very well that Ah would.”
“I think we had a talk about it didn’t we?” Unicorn’s voice grew more hostile.
“Girls, what are you-“ Twilight attempted to step between them, but with no results
“Yeah we did, but I don’t remember sayin’ anything about toleratin’ this stuff.”
“Since when are you allowed to dictate others what they can and can’t do?”
“Since my-!” Applejack was about to yell but before that, Twilight stepped between the two.
“Girls! I have no idea what you’re talking about, but please, we have to figure out how to get you home in this storm.”
The Unicorn and Earth Pony looked at each other and sighed. “Alright…” They said in union.
“Great now-“ She suddenly realized something and it brought a huge smile to her face. “I know!” She yelled in happiness. “We’re going to have a sleepover!”
“Oh! Uh, goodness. Uh, I do believe I have a date scheduled for this evening, that completely slipped my mind until just now. *NERVOUS LAUGH* Ah, silly me, I can't possibly stay here all night… with Applejack.” Rarity replied.
“Oh, don’t be silly, there’s a storm outside. Whoever you’re dating will understand. And besides, Spike is not here. He’s in Canterlot taking care of some royal buissness and getting some of our stuff here. That and I have this” Suddenly Rarity hound herself faceing the cover of a book.
“ ‘Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask’ .” She read it out loud.
“That’s my own personal copy. It's a fantastic reference guide. You should see the table of contents. I've been waiting for a chance to use it, and today is the day! This is gonna be so great! *GASP* And Revan can stay too! I’ll go and tell him!”
“Twilight wait!” Rarity tried to stop her, but the purple Unicorn was already running towards the bathroom doors.
She swung them open and run inside. “Revan! We’re making a-“ Words suddenly left her when she saw Revan standing naked in front of her. For the next few long seconds they kept staring at each other, though it was mostly Twilight looking all over his body (especially his crotch). What’s surprising, at first Twilight hadn’t even considered leaving, as if something was keeping her beet-red face in one place. And what’s even more surprising, is that Revan made no attempts to cover up at all.
Twilight was aware of how nudity is treated in human society, and she begun to think about Revan’s lack of reaction outside of staring at her with wide eyes and face nearly as red as hers. However, before that train of thoughts led her anywhere interesting, Applejack run into the bathroom.
Revan suddenly snapped out of his trance and grabbed the nearest towel. “Can I get some privacy!?” He yelled as he covered himself.
“Come on Twi, let’s go.” Applejack said as she pushed Twilight -who was still staring at Revan- out of the bathroom, closing the door behind them.
Revan sighed in relief and…disappointment? What the hell just happened here… He thought to himself as he walked over to the door to lock them. However, as soon as he reached out his hand to the lock, something stopped him. Some strange thought -or hope- that told him to leave the door opened.
And that’s exactly what he did.
The moment Revan returned from bathroom was… awkward, to say the least. The fact that his shirt was too wet to be worn and he came out bare-chested didn’t help Twilight to cool down either. It was good thing (or was it?) that at least his pants were dry enough to be worn. “So, eh… Sleepover, huh?” The human broke the awkward silence.
“O-oh! W-well the book says we should start by makeovers.”
“Make-what?” Confused Applejack said.
“Sorry, but I’m not going to put anything on my face. I can help you put it on though…” This immediately got Twilight’s attention and she quickly levitated her little makeover set that she got from Rarity as a ‘welcome to Ponyville’ present. Obviously, it was never used before. “So, um… What exactly do I do, Rarity?”
“Oh, it’s really nothing complicated darling.” She levitated a small box to him. “Just put a thin layer of this on her face, of course, avoid her mouth, eyes and nose.” She demonstrated it on herself after pulling out another small box. Revan opened the box he was holding and put some of the content on his fingers.
He then slowly begun to put it on Twilight’s face. And to say that the Unicorn was enjoying it was an understatement. She was constantly pushing her face against Revan’s hand while keeping the eye contact with him, as well as having to keep herself from moaning when he begun to ‘accidently’ scratch her ears. All that slowly made their faces come closer to each other.
“So you make me wash the mud off mah hooves, but it's okay for y'all to have mud all over yer faces?” Applejack said, probably stopping Revan from starting to make out with Twilight.
“Silly! This is called a mud mask. It's to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion.” Rarity replied.
“We're giving each other makeovers! Eee-hee!” God damn it, that was cute as fuck. “We have to do it, it says so in the book.” Twilight levitated her book to Applejack.
“Slumber 101: Everything You... Oh hey, heh, would'ya look at the time. I gotta skidaddle on home quick. I'm powerful late for, uh, for somethin'. Uh, g'night.” She attempted to leave but a loud lightning strike changed her mind. “*SCREAM* Or maybe I'll sit here for a spell.” Hearing that, Twilight begun happily clapping her hooves and then proceeded to mark the point on the check list.
“So what do you plan next?” Revan said as he got the remains of the cosmetics out of his fingers. Meanwhile Rarity and Applejack were talking about something in the corner of the room.
“We'll do everything by the book, and that will make my slumber party officially fun.” She checked the book’s content. “It says we should start telling scary stories.”
“Scary stories you say, huh… damn it I can’t think of any at the moment… Well, there was that one time I got lost in the forest for a night, but it’s not really all that scary to talk about. That and I’m not the best ate telling scary stories in the first place.”
“You got lost in the forest?”
“Yeah, I can tell about it, but like I said, I doubt I’ll make it sound scary.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I have some stories in my mind.” She run towards Rarity and Applejack, pulling them both into a hug. “This is going to be the bestest slumber party ever! Yay!” She said enthusiastically.
“Yey…” The two other ponies said less enthusiastically.
Meanwhile, Revan begun to cover to put down all light sources from the room, noticing that Mischief and Sen were napping on the couch. Normally he would force Mischief to get down, but this time he decided to allow him to get some sleep. He deserved it.
“This is so awesome! *GIGGLE*p” Twilight said. Revan found the way she acted really cute, especially when she realized he was looking at her, which added a blush to the mix. “So, who wants to go first?”
“Me! I'd like to tell y'all the terrifying tale of the prissy ghost who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness. Oo-oo! I'm sure y'all are familiar with that one?” God damn it Applejack, don’t act like a kid…
Rarity was quick to response. “Never heard of it, but I have a much better one. It's the horrifying story of the messy, inconsiderate ghost who irritated everypony within a hundred miles! Oo-oo!” Sounds like a modern feminist to me.
“That's not a real story. You made it up.”
“It is a ghost story, they're all made up.”
*LIGHTNING BOLT*SCREEMS*
“I've got one! This story is called The Legend of The Headless Horse.” She sat on the floor, in front of Rarity and Applejack, Revan obviously sat next to her. “It was a dark and stormy night, just like this one. And three ponies were having a slumber party, just like this one...”
Somehow, Twilight’s story was able reduce Rarity and Applejack to quivering messes. They were hugging each other as if their lives depended on it. “...and just when the last pony thought she was safe, there, standing right behind her, just inches away was -- The Headless Horse!” The two terrified ponies screamed in fear, only making Revan laugh, while Twilight pulled out her check-list. “Ghost story, check. Now, who wants s'mores?”
“Ah don’t mind s’mores, Twi. But might tellin’ why are you two huggin’ like that?” Applejack said after a moment to catch her breath.
“Whatever do you-“ In that moment she realized that there was something wrapped around her, and more importantly that she was pressing herself against something large. Her eyes slowly moved towards the mysterious object (even though she knew exactly who that was), blushing madly when she looked at it.
Sometime in the middle of the story, Revan has wrapped his arm around her and she has pressed herself against him. Right now the two were looking in each other’s eyes, slowly closing the gap between their lips.
But the meeting was not going to happen with Applejack on guard. “So! Who wants s’mores!?” She yelled as loud as she could, earning herself a death glare from Rarity.
“Then you place one marshmallow on the top of the chocolate and be sure it's centered -- that's critical -- and then carefully put another perfectly square graham cracker on the top. And done. Ta-da!” Rarity presented her s’more, which she somehow managed to turn into mini work of culinary art.
"And now, ya just eat 'em." And with that said, Rarity's efforts were devoured by the farmer, who, to put it lightly, begun eating like a pig "*BURP*". I know you're trying to piss Rarity off, but god damn it, there are some things you just don't do in company...
"You could at least say excuse me." Rarity said.
"Ah was just about to, but you interrupted me." Sure you were. "Pardon."
Twilight pulled out her check-list again. "S'mores, check. Now the next item of fun we have to do is Truth or Dare."
Rarity was the first one to react. "I dare Applejack to do something carefully and neatly for a change."
"Oh yeah? Well I dare Rarity ta lighten up and stop obsessin' over every last little detail, for a change." Farmer replied.
"Hey, first of all, stop acting like children, and second, we're doing it the more interesting way." Revan cut into their conversation before it got too far. "Twilight, do you have any alcohol here?"
"Yes, it's in the lab. Why?"
"*CHUCKLE* You'll see... can you bring a bottle here? And an empty one as well?"
"Sure." She walked down to the basement.
Revan immediately turned towards rarity and Applejack with a stern look. "Alright you two, I didn't want to say it in front of Twilight, but you two have been acting like fucking children since we got here. You wanna argue? Fine. Just don't ruin that night for Twilight. She wants to organize her first sleepover ever and she's freaking happy about it, so suck it up and at least try to get along, okay?" He stated and went upstairs, bringing four glasses just before Twilight came back with a half filled bottle of vodka and one that was emptied. "Great, put it here."
"What is it for?" She asked.
"Allow me to explain." He begun to pour vodka into the glasses, placing them next to each of them. "Whenever you have to tell the truth or do a dare and you fail to do it or back down, you have to drink a shot. Then you spin the bottle and ask the question or give a dear to the person that it points to."
"Alright, sound interestin’." Applejack stated.
"B-but I've never drank alcohol in my life!" Twilight shouted.
"Really?" Revan asked her, and in answer she nodded. "Well, there's first time for everything." She hesitantly sat on the ground. "Alright, since it's Twilight's first time and she lives here, she'll start."
"A-alright." She lit up her horn and spun the bottle, which pointed at Rarity. "So, truth or dare."
"Truth."
"Soooo... I want you to... hmm... tell us who you're dating."
"*PFF* That one's easy. For two days I've been dating Noteworthy. I never even considered dating him but, for those two days he's really been a very lovable colt." She said smiling. "Now, my turn." She also used her magic to spin the bottle. It was clear that she was hoping that the bottle will point to Applejack, but sadly, no lack with that. Instead it pointed to Revan. "Truth or dare?"
"Let's go with dare."
"Hmm... you know, for some time I’ve been wondering... I know that you humans don't have these moments when you randomly burst out into the song like we do, but I want you to sing us a song."
"You mean that whole ‘Song of Harmony' thing I've seen you doing few times." She nodded. "Well, yeah, we humans don't do that, in fact I can't hear anything other than your voices, even though everyone else tells me there's instrumental part as well. But as for me and singing... eh, well, I can handle accordion pretty well, and I did spent some time with a guitar when I wanted take part in a competition my ex-girlfriend was participating in, and I did learn lyrics of one song for that competition, but it's been years ago, and I wasn't that good in the first place."
"Well, you can always have something to drink darling." She smirked.
"I haven't said I'm quitting. Twilight, you wouldn't happen to have a accordion or guitar somewhere around here?"
"Actually , I think Spike has a guitar somewhere around, wait a moment."
"Alright, mind if I take a bit of paper and try to write down the lyrics?”
"No, not at all." She went upstairs, while Revan sat behind Twilight's desk and begun to write down the lyrics as well as he remembered them. He was using a feather even though there was a pencil lying around. The reason for that was to get some training in using the feather. Twilight was of course the one who got him into this in the first place.
It took him several minutes to get this done, and Twilight has already found Spike's guitar. It was obviously smaller than what he was using long time ago, about a size of ukulele, but he didn't let it bother him, and as soon as he was done with the lyrics, he took the guitar/ukulele in his hands. "Alright, let's get this done. This is a song that takes something that’s not that fun - math, and makes it offensive. You're going to like that one Twi." And with that said, he begun to sing.
(Original Song)
“♪What's a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy,
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die,
And what's domain, domain range? (x,xy) A kid with too much in his pants,
And two balls minus one? Six titles at the tour de France.
Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision,
Live like your data and when you're all "set",
Put it all together and whatever you get…
...is New Math!
What's a bag of chips divided by five? Well, that's a Nike worker's meal,
And Santa Mare multiplied by "I" well I guess that makes her real,
And the square root of the NBA? That’s is Africa in a box,
How do you trace a scatter plot? You give the pencil to Michael J Fox.
Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion,
Live like your data, and when you're all "set".
Put it all together and whatever you get...
…is New Math!
And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you'd have a tree...
Full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathematical minds make industrial smog,
And what's the opposite of ln(x), duraflame the unnatural log,
Support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or),
Live like your data, and when you're all "set".
Put it all together and whatever you get...
…is New Math!
If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie).
And there's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
How long till it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?
And if ten percent of colts are gay and twenty percent of colts are Chinese, what are the odds that a colt chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees?
And if Kim is half as old as Bobby who is two years older than twelve year old Tori,
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape?
‘Cause math can be sexy…
‘Cause having sex is like quadratic expansion if it can't be split then it's time to stop,
And having sex is like doing fractions, it's improper for the larger one to be on top,
And having sex is like math homework, I do it best when I'm alone in my bed.
And squaring numbers are just like mares, if they're under thirteen just do them in your head...
It’s New Math!♪”
By the end of the song, Twilight was rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically while Rarity and Applejack looked as if they were not really sure what to think about it. “W-well darling… um, how to put it nicely… you won’t make a career as a musician…” Rarity eventually spoke up.
“Never planned to.” Revan replied as he came over to Twilight who was still rolling on the floor. “Alright Twilight, that’s enough for now, we still have a game to finish.” Eventually she managed to get her breath under control and got up, whipping the tears from her eyes and sitting back on her place. Revan sat as well, grabbing the bottle and spinning it. The one who the bottle pointed at was Twilight.
“Truth.” She said immediately, still with a goofy smile on her face.
“Alright. Tell me, who was that guy that made you give up on dating? The one you told me about in Sugarcobe Corner.” He said.
Smile immediately disappeared from Twilight’s face. For a long while she just sat there in silence, until her eyes fell on the glass in front of her. After another while, her horn lit up and her magic aura enveloped the glass, slowly bringing it to her lips. She then drank the glasses content in one quick gulp, after which she almost choked. “*COUGH* H-how can you drink this? *COUGH*” She said.
“I don’t think about it, when I drink alcohol it’s usually to get drunk.” He said. “Anyways… congratulations! You just had your first drink. Celestia will be proud!”
“W-why would she be?” She asked.
“You don’t know?” She shook her head. “Celestia’s been holding the title of ‘The Strongest Head in Equestria’ for at least two centuries. I thought you would know that.” He poured her another glass. “Well, let’s continue, shall we?”
Twilight’s magic came into play again as she enveloped the bottle in her magic, despite initially having difficulty in doing so. “Applejack, truth or dare? HICCUP*”
“I’ll go with dare.”
“So… the dare is to… put on my old dress and dance to classical music.”
“W-what!? Ah ain’t goin’ to dress up, let alone dance!”
“Well, you can always have a drink, darling.” Rarity said with a smug, as Twilight levitated her dress to the farmer. It was a very simple dress, mostly red and yellow. Revan was no expert, but it looked like something from his Grandmother’s wardrobe.
Applejack ‘humph’ed at Rarity’s comment and decided to take a challenge. She got up and with Twilight’s help, put on the dress. “Ooooooh~ you look so cute Applejack.” Revan said with a smirk, making Applejack blush. “You look like your Granny on her wedding day.”
“H-how do you know how Granny’s wedding dress looked!?”
“She’s spend two hours showing me Apple family’s photo albums and you ask how?” He deadpanned.
“Anyways, it’s dancing time!” Twilight said as she turned on the music from her gramophone. At first Applejack did some nervous moves, limited to slightly waving her hooves. “Oh, come on! You can do better than that!” After saying that, Twilight proceeded to laugh her ass of, as she watched farmer’s poor attempts at dancing. Yup, she’s drunk already… Revan commented in his mind.
For an average human it took around 6 minutes to feel the effects of alcohol, but ponies had much faster metabolism, which led to them reacting to it almost instantly after drinking. That, along with facts that Twilight is very small for a pony and that it was her first contact with alcohol ever, resulted in what he was seeing right now.
The song didn’t last all that long, and soon Applejack was allowed to take the dress off. “By the way, darling. Where did you get that dress from? It looks so… archaic.”
“*HICCUP* That old thing? I got it from my grandmother on my 18th birthday. *LAUGH* Alright let’s continue this game, it’s getting really fun!”
And so the game continued for another hour or so. Twilight ended up drinking one more shot because she failed to perform 20 push-ups Revan had challenged her to do. Revan had one shot too, as he refused to kiss Applejack at Rarity’s request (good thing he didn’t, twilight looked like she was ready to kill him if he did). Said farm pony and Rarity have remained without a drink, both of them getting more and more angry at each other and loud as the time passed.
“Alright girls, it’s midnight already and the rain keeps going, we better get some sleep.” Revan said. “There are only two beds in the library-”
“I don’t sleep with her!” Applejack and Rarity proclaimed, beginning to argue again.
After a moment of listening to this, Revan finally had enough. “Ja pierdolę, zamknąć mordy tępe chuje! ((For fucks sake, shut the fuck up!))” This got their attention rather quickly. “You’re wanna act like fucking kids? Fine! I’ll treat you like kids!” And with that said, he picked them both up and carried them upstairs, where he threw them on the spare bed Twilight have prepared when she still wasn’t drunk. “You’re sleeping together, whether you like it or not!” Neither Applejack nor Rarity spoke a word after that.
Meanwhile, Twilight have walked –or more like crawled- upstairs. “Does that mean we’ll be sleeping together?” She asked, slowly getting closer to him, almost falling over few times.
He took a deep breath before answering. “Yes, we’re sleeping together.”
Twilight smiled in her drunk state and begun to brush against the human’s leg. “Well, the this is going to be an interesting night…*CHUCKLE*”
It was easy to figure out what she meant by that, and even though a certain part of him was all for it, he still wasn’t going to do it. Even though he ended up having drunken sex quite a lot of times in his life, it’s never been something he was proud of. “No Twilight, you’re drunk.”
She ignored that and wrapped her forelegs around his neck, hugging him tightly while giving him a seductive look. “So what? You’re drunk too.” She attempted to kiss him, but just as her lips were about to touch his, Revan wrapped his hand around her muzzle and pushed her away.
“I’m after only one glass of vodka. That, and I’m from Poland. I just absorb alcohol like a sponge.” He quickly withdraw his hand after Twilight begun to suck on his fingers. “You know what? I’m just going to hold you down until you fall asleep.”
“Kinky… but go for it big boy.” Revan sighed and lifted her, making her throw some more seductive stuff to him. He placed her on the bed and kept her pinned down with his hand when he lied down himself. “So, what do we do now? Because I have quite a few things in mind…”
“Yeah, I have something in mind too.” His free hand lightly grabbed the back of her neck, immediately making Twilight stay still. Then his other hand begun to slowly scratch behind her ears, slowly making Twilight doze off (while still trying to get him to do more). In the meantime, Applejack and Rarity were lying still on their bed, pretending to be asleep.
It took Revan almost 15 minutes of that before Twilight finally gave in, and he begun dozing off himself.
And once Revan was asleep (and tightly hugging Twilight in his sleep), Rarity and Applejack were already back to arguing. “Keep your muddy hooves on your side of the bed.” Rarity said.
“ My hooves ain't muddy.”
“They were. There might still be a little on them.”
“There ain't. See? “
“Eww!”
“Now who's bein' inconsiderate?”
“I have to make the bed again so the blanket will be right. Get up.”
“Hey!”
“Ah ah ah! You'll ruin it. You have to do it like this. Mm, uh, ooh, u-u-u-uh, uh, ah.”
“Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Geronimo!“
“Hey! You did that on purpose.”
“Um, yeah?”
“Get up so I can fix it again.”
“Can't hear ya, I'm asleep *SNORE*.”
“M-mmm!”
“I ain't budgin'.”
“You will if you want any blankets.”
“Give it back!”
“I will not!”
Yes, you will!”
“Won't!”
“Will!”
“Won't!”
“Will!”
“Won't!”
“Will!”
“For the fucking love of Jesus motherfucking Christ! Shut the fuck up you fucking pieces of horseshit! I asked you for one thing! One fucking thing! And you screwed up even that! God fucking damn it, if Twilight wasn’t more drunk more than me at my 18th birthday she would be fucking pissed! Now shut your fucking mouth you god damn fucks before I’ll do it for you!” Revan yelled out in rage when he woke up.
“I've been tryin' my hardest to get along.”
“No, it is I who have been trying my best.”
“No, it was me!”
“No, it was I!”
“Shut up! I don’t fucking care who was trying, both of you failed! Twilight wanted to have one god damn sleepover done by the book, and because of you two fuck-heads she can’t even do that!” He tried to calm himself with a deep breath as he placed his hand against his forehead. Meanwhile as he was screaming, Twilight woke up. “Can this shit get any worse…?”
And the moment he said that, a lightning bolt hit a tree next to the library. “Sorry I asked…”
“Ya see? That's why we needed to take down all those loose branches in town, not spiffy 'em up!”
“But I-“
“Outta my way, missy! Time's a-wastin'.”
“Wait! Stop! Don't!”
“No waitin'! No stoppin'! Doin'!” And with that said, the farm pony grabbed her rope and threw it at the tree, pulling it. Somehow she failed to realize that it will make the tree fall through the window. Revan quickly got up from the bed and run towards Applejack, pushing her out of the harm’s way, but paying for it by the fallen tree hitting him straight in the head, immediately throwing him into the land of unconsciousness.
“Ugh… my head…” Revan said as he finally woke up.
“No, no, no, no! Don’t move yet darling.” He heard Rarity saying.
He ignored her words and stood up anyways. “What the hell happened?” He said as he looked around. The tree was already gone, but what really caught his attention was Twilight. “And why the hell is Twilight lying tied up on the bed?”
“They’re getting me ready for you tiger!” The pony in question commented on the whole situation.
“Let’s say she couldn’t keep her hooves away from you…” Applejack stated. “And… w-we’re sorry, partner.”
“Yes, we would like to apologize for our behavior before. It was very uncalled for and we should have just resolve this on our own, rather than argue in front of you and Twilight. We should apologize to her as well, when she’ll be more… available.”
“Oh, I’m very available right now. Especially for you Revan~.”
Ignoring the horny Unicorn, Revan spoke up. “Guess I should apologize for all that yelling too. I could have been more calm about it. So, sorry.” He reached out his hand to them, but instead of shaking it, both Rarity and Applejack pulled him into a hug. Eh, ponies and their all solving hugs… He thought as he hugged them back. “You two are still sleeping together though.”
“Ohhhh… And here I was hoping for some group action… Well, I still have Revan to keep me company so-“ Twilight was cut off by Revan’s fingers scratching her ears.
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my god Twilight.
At least Revan is a guy who controls himself and his hormones.
HAHAHAHA!!!
Drunk Twilight be like:
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/753/082/856.png
7207072 And to think that twilight was the one who drank the most.
Drunk Twilight is the best! HA! HA!
Oh, god, Twi's a horny drunk. Had a friend like that, made for some REALLY awkward get-togethers. Especially since I'm the only one in our circle that won't touch alcohol AT ALL...
...but I seriously cracked up at her lines, especially at the end...
7237909 That means: 'You gotta be kidding me'
Fluttershy cię obserwuje
Who know Twilight was a kinkster
You lose 10 pts for making applejack... Is that racism or just culture extremeism? Whatever I'm counting it as both. I get it she's a stereo typical country bumpkin. But come on! There is zero evidence of this behavior in the show. And before someone screams "but they didn't like zecora so they're all racists!" Let spell something out for you ponies don't have tv's or radios and are living in an odd combination of the 1900s and 1400s. A stranger who comes walking out of a REGULAR forest would be reason for them to be suspicious let one the "most dangerous" forest in equestria. Back to the main point I have never seen applejack do or say anything to suggest her being a bigoted puritan. Seriously all the stories using these themes its either applejack or rainbow dash and always make ponies unrealistically afraid of any meat eaters. Its fucking annoying and there's little to no evidence of them actually being that way so you sacrifice their character for plot convenience.
Kinky drunken twilight that's a new one. 2pts increase.