That evening, Silver visited Derpy as promised. Her dreams were as pleasant as the pegasus herself, and Silver departed from them with a smile. She looked around the dreamworld, considering her next course of action. She focused on Night Watch and the escalator under herself carried her to a particular floor, where a gloomy emo shop awaited. The dreamscape was in fine form that evening, and Silver smirked at it as she trotted up and entered the shop, and Night's dreams.
Night sat alone in a dimly lit room. She was writing something, quill held in a wing in a trick Silver had not even come close to mastering. Silver approached cautiously, keeping herself shrouded as she peeked over a shoulder. The words were nonsense, as they tend to be in dreams, but she could feel the meaning in them.
Day 24,
I am still alone. I am told that Silver is well. I am told Fast Change still has feelings. Twilight is oblivious, as per normal. Did I do something to push them all away?
Silver frowned at the words and felt guilt rise. Had she been neglecting Night? She wrapped her hooves around Night from behind, becoming a part of things. Night jumped in her grasp in surprise, but then smiled. "You came..."
"Of course I did." Silver softly nipped at one of Night's tufted ears. "I'm sorry I left you alone for so long."
Night sighed softly. "You can't help it, you're a princess now."
With a little dream shuffle, Silver was suddenly belly-to-belly with Night, laying atop her. "That is hardly an excuse. I don't even have a kingdom of my own yet... Please, come for me when I'm being stupid." She leaned in and rubbed noses with Night gently. "You are my--"
Night put a hoof to Silver's lips. "Don't say that. I want to be something other than a rock for you. Rocks get forgotten... You can always trust a rock to be where you left it."
Silver sat up on Night. "What do you want to be? You're a smart and wonderful pony, you can be whatever you want."
Night pouted a little. "Can I be a magic pony, and tease you with new spells and ideas?"
Silver tilted her head at that. "You're delightful as you are..."
"Delightful..." Night glanced away. "But not interesting. I can see, Silver. I know you. You love me, but I'm not interesting. I'm boring. I'm--"
Silver silenced her with a kiss, snuggling down into her in gentle presses. "You're wonderful." Silver lowered a hoof to rub over Night's swelling belly. "You're also my wife, and the bearer of my foal. How are you feeling?"
Night smiled gently, relaxing under the soft rubs. "Zecora is doing her job well. I'm fine, swelling up by the day."
Silver frowned a little. "That's part of this."
Night nodded. "Well... yes. I'm being slowed down. I'm fat and slow and boring."
Silver nuzzled against Night's cheek, frowning with thought. "Well I can't, and wouldn't, make you an alicorn. I don't think you'd trade wings for a horn?"
Night wriggled her nose. "No. My wings are a part of me."
Silver leaned over Night, nuzzling at one of the fuzzy wings. "An adorably cute part of you." She sat up again, considering. "Maybe it's time we re-explored the magic of lunar pegasi?"
Night tilted her head up at Silver. "What magic?"
Silver flashed her fangs and pointed at them with a hoof. "These, to start."
Night snorted at Silver. "I don't have the emotion fangs."
Silver suddenly bit into Night's neck, making her go rigid, then relaxing. Being a dream, Silver tried to take advantage of it, gently exploring through their connection to find where her own teeth bonded that Night's did not. In her mind she could see Night's body like a circuit board and she looked over it. The connection was there, but it was so thin. Silver gently changed the angle of her bite, speaking despite the full mouth easily. "This may sting or tingle, I'm not sure."
Silver unleashed a strong surge through her teeth, unleashing upon the thin line and feeding it. Night went tense underneath her, but stayed still. Suddenly, Night vanished, and Silver was thrown out into the dream mall. A light headache informed her that she hadn't landed quite right, but worry made such concerns minor at best. She quickly roused herself to waking. She rolled over in bed and found Night looking back at her. "Are you alright?"
Night nodded slowly. "I think so? I just... woke up. Did you do whatever you planned to do?" She reached with her wings and snatched her glasses, putting them on her face. "I don't feel any different."
Silver tilted her head. "Only one way to know. Go on..."
Night slowly rolled over on top of Silver and nuzzled into her neck gently. "Are you sure?"
Silver nodded quickly. "There are few ponies in this world I trust more than you, Night. Go ahead."
Night exposed her fangs. Silver could feel those sharp tips poking her a few times with uncertainty, but she kept still and tried to be patient. There! She flinched at the sudden piercing. "Alright... now... concentrate on an emotion, and let the magic inside of you loose. Like when you're flying really fast."
The emotion started to come through, a shy nervousness that Silver had felt many times before. "Something stronger... happier? It's working Night. It's really working."
The news of victory turned the emotion towards more excited spectrums, then deepened into something else. Night rubbed against Silver with an increasingly obvious want. They spent several hours reminding one another of their love.
The next morning, the breakfast table was quite crowded. Besides Silver, Fast, Night, and Twilight, there was also Rough and Trixie. Not quite crowded enough, the rest of the Mane Six were gathered about the table. Twilight spoke first. "I'm glad everypony could make it. I just wanted to get a few things clear, now that we're back." She extended a wing towards Silver. "I was not 'corrupted' by Silver. She is a fine mare and a good friend, and should be treated as such. I..." She swallowed heavily. "I plan to marry into her herd. Consider this a formal announcement of our engagement."
Fast quickly began clopping his hooves as supportive voices rouse around the table. Applejack nudged Rainbow Dash and waggled her brows suggestively. Rainbow rolled her eyes with a disgusted snort and bits exchanged hooves. Rarity smiled brightly. "Oh my, this is simply amazing, darling." Her eyes turned to Fast Change. "That makes you the stallion of a royal herd. How exciting! With not one, but two princesses! I dare say you've just made all the stallions across Equestria jealous."
Fluttershy demurely looked up at Twilight. "How are you going to explain this to everypony else? They might... think Silver Star's forcing you?"
Twilight scowled at the suggestion. "Well, I have a plan for that." Her horn glowed and a large screen dropped from above, flowcharts and graphs already prepared. "I'll send a letter to Celestia immediately, requesting the right to host Silver's coronation. We'll make it a nice ceremony, and make it clear during it that Silver is a good princess, eager to serve her people. The culmination of that ceremony will be her asking for my hoof in marriage. I will accept, and nopony will question it."
Rarity wobbled a hoof. "I wouldn't say 'nopony' exactly, but it should help!" She clopped her hooves. "I simply must get to work making proper outfits. Leave this to me, Silver Stars."
Pinkie bobbed her head. "I get to plan the party, right?"
Twilight shook her head. "The reception, certainly, but the coronation itself has a very specific set of requirements, so leave that to me."
Trixie puffed out her chest and rose to her full height. "Trixie demands a part in this. Her foal will not be crowned without her involvement."
Twilight flashed a bright smile. "I thought you might say that." She pointed with a floating wand to a part of the flowchart. "You are, if willing, to be part of the entertainment and special effects for the coronation and reception. I'll expect you to really razzle-dazzle the ponies and get them worked up for Silver Stars."
"This Trixie can and will gladly do." Trixie looked quite pleased with her role.
Applejack raised a hoof. "Ah'll be offering up refreshments, right?"
Twilight nodded. "That would be lovely, thank you Applejack. I'll be sure to get you recompensated for the spent apples." Her eyes turned to Night and Fast. "As for you two, you're going to be on display as much as Silver and myself. You'll need to look your best and carry yourself with dignity. We have to sell this herd to the public, so we all have to be on our best behavior during the coronation."
Shining Armor was propped up against Cadance, sleeping quietly. The rest of the princesses looked like they wanted to join him in slumber, but the talks raged ever onwards. Cadance raised a hoof. "Why not, instead of mandating donations, opening it to willing ones. Create positiv--" She paused to yawn widely. "--Positive social pressure and incentives. Ask more from our ponies and demand less."
Luna gave a slow nod. "I could get behind that. The nobles of Canterlot are fiercely competitive. If they get it in their minds that it is prestigious to be the largest donor, we may amass much more, without demanding, in short order." She looked to Celestia. "Tia... You can rouse them, can you not? I have seen you play those rich fops before."
Tia nodded, which almost became a nodding off. She jerked awake with a snort. "Yes! Yes, I believe I can do that... Luna, you can help. A few select dreams in the right ears would help get the ball rolling much more quickly."
Cadance smiled with relief. "This will mean so much to my ponies." She looked to Celestia. "This is what we meant. We love you, Auntie. You've done very well by us, and all Equestria, but compromise, just a little." She paused to yawn widely. "And please let Silver Stars get some peace. Poor thing deserves a few more medals. Just... try accepting her. She's not so bad."
Celestia gave a little nod as the door opened and a royal guard rushed in, offering a paper to her. Celestia's eyes wandered over the paper and she sat up sharply. "I'll rip him to pieces!"
Shining Armor jerked awake at the noise and collapsed to the table with a thump. The rest of the princesses jerked in place. Luna tilted her head. "Has Sombra returned?"
Celestia took a slow breath and set the paper down. "I'm sorry... I'm more tired than I thought."
Cadance grabbed the paper and pulled it over with her magic to look at. "Twilight has requested Silver Stars get her coronation in Ponyville, and that she intends to publicly become engaged to her during it."
Luna tilted her head a little. "Tia... What part of that missive would make you cry out like that?"
Celestia shook her head slowly. "I am fatigued. If we are done here..."
Cadance set the note down. "I don't think we are. Are you unhappy with their union?"
Luna frowned at Celestia. "Tia... You insisted that was just a dream. You assured me it meant nothing." Celestia didn't reply, and Luna pressed. "Tia, sister. You can't be with her. It's not right. You two are not on the same level. It...would be just as poor as when I took Silver Stars."
Celestia clopped a hoof on the tabletop with tremendous force, shattering it into three uneven pieces. "It's not the same! I... She loves me. She adores me. I adore her. We would... treat each other well."
Cadance's eyes widened with shock. "Auntie! Twilight sees you as a mentor, practically a second mother. That would be very wrong. Nopony would accept it, even if she did. Please, don't taint years of wonderful relationship with this."
Celestia sagged in place. "I know... I know... I don't intend to chase her." She gestured at the paper, resting on the broken table. "The thought of that... Silver Stars... having her..."
Luna shook her head a little. "I was not aware your feelings ran this deep..." She tapped her chin and smiled. "Perhaps we could hatch two birds from one egg? Have you not noticed Silver Star gazing at you with fond eyes?"
Cadance snorted. "Their herd is quite large enough without cramming in the Princess of all Equestria into it."
Luna waved Cadance off. "Nothing so extreme... Just listen..."
But 'Tia, the pieces you've already torn off make him not a 'he'!
5908904 Logic has no place in emotional outbursts.
With a deep breath, I say this, the princess herding has been DOUBLED!(it sure appears to be heading there anyways)
5908982
I wish you code hear me clapping this chapter is that good.
you David Silver have cleared up a bunch of questions. and how will everypony react when they find out that silver has awoken nights talent of sharing threw her teeth?
and correct me if I am wrong but I thought Celestia was the purest white in color she is looking a bit green to me, with envy that is.
I was going to say something really stupid like Twilight does not swing that way but she is marring in to a herd with silver but then there is fast as the stallion.
I am still amazed of just how this story has grown impressive and with a dedicated following and to thing this all started with a simple idea.
good work David Silver.
Harts Fire
PS still awaiting a drawing of how Silver Stars looks now. but after the coronation in her dress that I am sure rarity will be making with her tiara will do no pressure or any thing.
Her quill was held in a wing "with" a trick Silver had not come close to mastering.
Her name is a single word, "Applejack."
There are two spaced between "tilted" and "head."
She intends to "publicly" become engaged.
You assured "me" it meant nothing.
5909171 Typos shown the mercy that their kind deserves... No thoughts on the last chapter?
One of the first things I want to note is that there's a little bit of a dangling plot-thread from previous chapters, that being the "email" that Silver sent to Fast Change when she and Twilight were imprisoned. Presumably that failed, but it'd be nice to have some sort of resolution to that particular idea.
That said, it was nice to return to the topic of Night Watch; she's never made any secret of the fact that she's not happy in Ponyville, and that particular issue has largely been ignored as events have kept everypony in the herd occupied, and it's nice to see that Night's dissatisfaction hasn't gone away, even if she's sublimated it. That said, she seems to be more upset that she's going largely ignored than she does about feeling useless - I'd wager that the two are co-morbid, in that she's being "ignored" in the sense that she's made it known that she's not happy, and the rest of her herd seems to have forgotten about that. Night is a very civic-minded pony, who wants to feel like she's making a positive change in her community; sitting around all day getting fat with foal was never a life-goal of hers, but as "the stable one" who "keeps everything together," the group dynamic doesn't allow her to express her unhappiness. This needs to be addressed, for the herd's long-term health; unhappiness, left unchecked, will turn into bitterness and resentment.
That said, I'm rather suspicious of her suddenly being able to use Silver's emotion-sharing bite. My understanding was that Silver was a "true" lunar pony, in that she's the progenitor of lunar unicorns, whereas Night - even with Luna's blood magic - was more of a cosmetic alteration than anything else (since thestrals are already lunar ponies), hence why she cannot breed lunar unicorns (and ditto for First Stars, by the same token). It doesn't make much sense that Silver can magic-zap her and just give her a permanent new power. Luna had to catalyze her own unborn foal to give Silver her status as a pure-blood lunar unicorn, with all of its attendant powers; how can Silver give Night (who isn't even a unicorn) that exact same power with so much less? True, Night won't be breeding lunar unicorns anytime soon with this, but it's still something permanent for very little. I'd wager that this new power is temporary, rather than permanent (since, after all, lunar pegasi should have their own power, rather than the exact same one that a lunar unicorn would have).
Even then, I doubt this will be enough to solve Night's underlying problem. She wants to be interesting to Silver, yes, but how about being interesting by doing something noteworthy in her community, rather than having a fun-but-impractical power that Silver already has? This is a band-aid, not a solution.
I'm rather irked that we didn't get to see the great discussion going on between Celestia and the others. While I doubt that many readers would have appreciated a heated back-and-forth on political and moral polemicals, I would have eaten it up. Darn. Though I should mention that I frowned a bit at the suggestion that Luna manipulate dreams to encourage behavior modification in the form of increased generosity. That's one hell of a slippery slope right there; by her own admission, Luna only interferes when a dream's message - which is, in other words, somepony's subconscious trying to reach their conscious mind with a message - is being lost. Even then, she acts overtly, rather than covertly.
The revelation that Celestia is in love with Twilight...wasn't one I was fond of. Not because I necessarily dislike the idea (heck, the "Princess Molestia" jokes alone are smirk-worthy), but because it solves so little with regards to how Celestia's character has been acting. If she's jealous of Twilight and Silver, then why did she lock them up together, which was sure to drive them into each other's forelegs? Why did she never object to the idea of Twilight marrying Silver - she could have invented a reason why it was a bad idea as a fig-leaf - when she sent her letter warning them to go easy on the idea of announcing their relationship, or when she visited them in Ponyville? Why didn't she say anything (either in public or in private) when Twilight trotted into her court with Silver literally riding on her? (Not to mention the fact that this doesn't speak at all to how badly Celestia has been treating Silver, since that started long before Silver and Twilight met each other in this fic, notwithstanding Twilight enchanting David's heart crystal.)
Even for how composed and reserved Celestia usually is, this feels completely out of left field, not only due to the lack of hints but due to Celestia's lack of action. If she has feelings for Twilight, why hasn't she acted on them? Twilight has been an alicorn princess - Celestia's putative equal - for almost a year now, and has been with Silver (albeit in a very undefined way) for what seems like several weeks. Celestia's hesitancy undermines the believability of this idea, and requires further explanation.
(Oh, and let's not forget that Celestia's self-indulgent dream had a handsome stallion waiting on her hoof and hoof, rather than Twilight...was she putting that on just in case Luna happened to drop by? That seems rather unlikely, since she even remarked that Luna hadn't visited her dreams in a while.)
Also, why does Cadance say that "nopony would accept it"? Why not? She seems to be implying that a relationship between Twilight and Celestia would meet with complete and utter shock and outrage on the part of the public, but there's no particular reason for that that I can see: it's not like Twilight is a filly, and lesbian relationships are considered normal, so what part of this is scandalous? Heck, Luna was flat-out wrong in her objection: Twilight and Celestia are on the same level, which means that it would not be the same as when Luna took Silver as a lover. The only social differences between Celestia and Twilight are perceived, rather than actuality (though to be fair, Cadance was right when she said that Twilight saw Celestia as a "second mother," rather than a romantic figure, but that's a personal problem between them, not a social problem with the public at large).
Simply put, this idea of "Celestia wants Twilight" creates a lot more narrative problems than it solves. I can only imagine what Luna's plan for going forward is, but hopefully some of the above issues will be addressed.
5909184 I'm very leery of commenting on collaborative chapters, simply because I was so involved in the last quarter or so of "A Dangerous Sparkle." If I raise any issues with material being introduced by a guest author, it feels hypocritical, at least to me.
5909264 Argh!
Celestia is not spending her time lusting for dat flank. It was a little burr under her hide that she has, successfully, shoved aside and tried to rise above. Fatigue and a long session of debate with the others let the emotion come out in a moment of poor self-control that she already regrets. Same level? She's the one that raised Twilight. She's her boss, for lack of better word. Student-teacher bonds are kinky, but rarely appropriate. Even if Twilight has gotten a little patch of Equestria for her own, there's not even a scrap of doubt that she is beneath Celestia in the pecking order.
Celestia knows this is not healthy. Celestia was not planning to pursue this. Of course, now everypony else there knows her dirty laundry and likely won't let her bury it back in the sand where she'd prefer it to be. I have hinted at this before, however. It is not a huge part of Celestia's day, or night, thinking. This should not be noted down as a huge motivator.
5909268 Aw, that is a shame. I rather liked the interactions going on, and I know the co-author's a big boy about critical analysis.
5909268 5909349
I'm more curious about whether or not I captured Glimmer's character based upon what information I had from the story. You could say that David strong-armed me into it, so tried making something that was more plot relevant and less chatter about subjects that really don't matter to the story. Using established characters from another writer is something I've never really done before, so don't mind seeing your opinion, Al.
5909268
Aww, no wonder no commentary on the chapters I cowrote. My burning jealousy over David having such an insightful and reliable commentator grows even hotter!
5910505 My apologies - I'm honestly still a little surprise that my commentary is so highly regarded, especially since I can often be quite critical. If you'd like, I can try to go back and write my opinion of them (though that may take a little while), since if a collaborator specifically requests that I do so, I'm willing to put aside my usual reservations.
5910849
Thanks, I'd appreciate it.
When I started writing here (not that long ago), the 'silence' was a bit unnerving. I'm happy to have some thoughtful criticism that helps me see where I've done well and where I've done poorly, so I can perhaps do better in the future.
Typo reports can quickly eliminate typos, and generic praise can offer a bit of motivation, but a more detailed critique is a massive boon that few are willing to provide.
I have started to get more feedback recently, which is great, and probably a big reason I am still writing. Well, that and the dang stories won't stop invading my head. :P
EDIT to add:
When I started Equestria Diaries, in particular, I was getting nothing but thumbs ups and downs in roughly equal measure (for the longest time they were constantly within one of each other, trading directions on occasion), but not a single comment. What did anyone think? +1 or -1, or mostly 0, apparently. Meanwhile, as I'm keeping pace with David's work, I see a nice, thoughtful critique of every single chapter, many times in place by the time I read it, which breaks down a lot of where things were pleasant or unsatisfying for the reader, and where a character seemed to be acting out of character or otherwise inexplicable, or noting varying plot points that seemed to deserve addressing. It's really obvious, too, that David read those as there are lots of times I read your comment pointing out something needing further treatment, and then there it is in the next chapter, being further treated. Wee.
It's almost like this story was a dialogue, and mine a monologue. And that just made mine all the more lonely.
David has been somewhat supportive of my endeavors here, but largely too busy with his own. (He has me fairly impressed with his output rate, although if I had no other responsibilities it seems like I could almost keep up with him. So.. not in total awe like I am of Andrew Hussie.)
5910599 A lot of your commentary relies on Silver knowing a lot of information she doesn't have. She ddn't see Season 5, nor did Twilight go into great detail.
5910959 It would be rude to ask for such detailed commentary and then ignore them.
5911192
I kind of have to disagree with you.
Starlight being on her 4th chance, sure, that is outside of Silver's awareness, but she knows Starlight has nearly cost her two foals, and one of them is still in a state very far from on track to be born healthy. Or, you know, at all. And we still have yet to see the side effects of Silver saving her other foal with magic-overdose.
The rest of the commentary all sounds legit to me, at least.
5911462 Silver assumes she can spot a lying pony, which she can for regular ponies. Starlight Glimmer is better at lying than a regular pony, however. Silver asked her straight up what her part was in that awful event, and Starlight replied without hesitation that all she did was try to zap Silver. It was the other unicorns that actually hurt her wives and unborn foal, and if she separated from them good! That's another point for her. Those guys deserve to die in a fire.
So far Silver is aware, Starlight has no battle magic. She's just a unicorn that can steal cutie marks.
looks like one space too many.
5912324 Fixed, and stop being so violent, you rageful person you. You need a pony hug.
5912336 probably.
Also
>inb4 little Celene Mk.II and Sunny joins Silver's herd.
5911192
5911462 Istaran pretty well summed up my position here. If Silver doesn't know about the events of "The Cutie Map," then that shouldn't change very much; she still knows that Starlight's previous appearances have previously heralded attacks that have seriously injured her unborn foals. Regardless of whatever (rather flippant) justifications Starlight makes up - be it with regard to it not being her fault directly or otherwise being an accident - I'm having a hard time seeing how an expectant parent would forgive her involvement so easily.
That Silver does strikes me as pushing the boundaries for just how naive somepony can be.
My god... David you are a mean person to your own creation. Also this story has Celestia just as disharmonious as discord
6774676 I would argue that Discord's never really caused much trouble in Silver's life. They're buds, even.
You change capitalization of Applejack partway into this chapter (to AppleJack).
Oh look a letter for Celestia and *TWANG* there goes the shovel.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2j6y8i_looney-toons-the-foghorn-leghorn_fun
(jump to 6:25)
Hah! I kinda' like the idea. Knowing without a doubt that someone is personally relying on Celestia for relationship stability might just mellow her out.
Maybe.
I swear I'm not just talking out of my butt!
Pretty sure...
Remind me again what Night looks like?
Wait what!! How did Night get there!?
I believe Fast was a yellow unicorn with a red mane right?
I thought Fast was a mare?
8901729
Fast can be a he or she as they prefer at the moment.
Man just reading this section is making me tired. 😪