• Published 21st Feb 2015
  • 15,767 Views, 368 Comments

Discord's Apprentice - Architect Ironturtle



Discord teaches Pinkie Pie chaos magic. God help us all.

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Reunion

Celestia had barely dragged Discord out the window before the rest of Pinkie's friends rushed in, then came to an abrupt stop as they took in her new appearance. Applejack sat down in shock while Rainbow fell out of the air, Fluttershy rubbed her eyes, and Rarity developed a muzzle splitting grin as she eagerly measured Pinkie with her eyes.

"Pinkie?" Applejack said cautiously, "Is that you?"

"I think so, I mean, if it's not me then I'm not me, andthatmeansthemirrorpoolgottherealPinkieand-"

"That's her," Rainbow said, cutting her off.

Pinkie let out a sigh of relief, then brought her hoof up to her muzzle and patted it, getting a feel for the new shape. She'd never thought that elegant would be a good description of her but, well, it fit. El-le-gant. Pinkie rolled the word around in her mind. It felt nice, like she was in perfect sync with her surroundings and could never be knocked off balance. Pinkie could get used to being elegant.

"And I thought her having wings was confusing," Rainbow moaned as she picked herself up off the floor.

"That's for sure," Applejack agreed, "But really Pinkie, you gave us quite a scare there. For a moment we thought you were..." she trailed off, seeming to choke on the words.

"Sorry," Pinkie said sheepishly, "It took me by surprise too, and as much as I love surprises," she leaned towards then and stage whispered, "I don't think this one was Discord's best idea."

"What!?" The others said in unison.

"Let me at him!" shouted Rainbow, "That was not cool! Not cool at all!"

"You'll have to get in line," Pinkie said, jerking her head towards the window, "Celestia got him first."

Rainbow let out a humph at that as she sat on the floor and crossed her arms.

"We're just glad you're all right," Fluttershy said gently, walking up to the bed and pulling Pinkie into a hug, "I'd hate to think of what life would be like without you."

That opened the floodgates. The others jumped Pinkie all at once, leaving her buried under a pile of mares. It was hot, and heavy, and somepony's hoof was in her face, but it still felt soooo good. An eternity and yet not long enough later they separated, allowing Rarity to get a much closer look at Pinkie without her being obscured by bodies.

"Pinkie dear," Rarity said, still smiling as wide as she possibly could, "You really must drop by my shop sometime soon. I can't possibly allow you to go without a few dresses to fit your- the new you." Pinkie chuckled and nodded. If she didn't say yes Rarity would never stop bugging her about it, and besides, she really did need a new apron at the very least. Hopefully her chef's hat would still fit, though.

They spent the next few minutes catching up, as Pinkie had gotten a bit out of the loop what with all the time she'd been spending with Discord. Even working for the Cakes didn't allow her to hear everything. Soon enough, Applejack bowed out, telling them that she had to get back to tending her trees. Rarity gave Pinkie a coupon for a half off dress and a wink, then followed the farmer, while Fluttershy had to go immediately after that when one of her animal friends told her she needed to handle a dispute between a bear and a beehive. Rainbow stuck around much longer than the others since she'd already finished the morning work, and ended up showing Pinkie how to preen Pegasus wings, now that she could grow them at will, but eventually she had to go take her pre-lunch nap, and left with the promise to meet Pinkie for a race the next day. And then there were two.

"Finally," Twilight said as soon as Rainbow was out of hearing range, "I thought she'd never leave." Then Twilight winced, and said, "I mean, not that I mind spending time with her, but I really-really-really have some very important questions to ask you! I mean," she gestured at Pinkie, "This is an entirely new field of magic! I can't just let it go! I made that mistake with you once before Pinkie, and I'm not about to make it again!"

The world flashed purple, and when the spots had cleared from Pinkie's eyes she saw they were in Twilight's new lab.

Twilight's wings were fully extended as she ran over to the nearest workstation and put on a pair of goggles. "Are you ready for science, Pinkie!?" she shouted, holding up far too many weird looking tools.

"Turn the crazy down by about two notches and I'll consider saying yes," Pinkie snarked, letting a bit of Discord's wit slip into her voice.

Twilight blinked, then slapped her face with a hoof. "Right, sorry," she said, then took a few deep breaths to calm herself, putting down the instruments in the process, "Better?"

Pinkie nodded.

"Much."

88888888

A male pony stuck his head into the room a few seconds after Twilight had teleported, then turned and shouted over his shoulder, "They're gone!"

Farther down the hall a female voice replied, "Then send the bill to her address! Honestly, I'm not even surprised that they don't bother checking out anymore."

88888888

"This is an incredibly risky plan, Discord, even for you," Celestia stated, her voice hard and flat, "Are you absolutely certain I cannot interfere?"

"For the moment, yes," Discord replied, staring out at Twilight's castle from their perch on the top of a hill, "It's best for everyone that what they do next is done out of ignorance. The Spectrum must be freed, and if it was done intentionally System would never forgive or forget. I may not like tricking my student, not like this, but it needs to be done." He snickered, "Your student, on the other hand, could stand to lighten up a bit."

Celestia glared at him a moment longer, then sighed as she sat down next to him, "How long do we have to wait?" she asked.

"Trust me," Discord said with his customary grin, "You'll know it when you 'see' it." Celestia nodded, then opened her Sight and settled in to wait, trying not to lose her concentration as Discord started to scratch her ears. Then he found her sweet spot and her eyes crossed. Well, maybe she could relax a little...

88888888

Twilight's mouth was hanging open so wide that when Pinkie stuck an entire cupcake inside it didn't obstruct her breathing. her hind legs had buckled out from under her, leaving her sitting in front of the examination table Pinkie was perched on and her tail lying in a stray bowl of victory ice cream. Not that she cared about anything other than her newly opened Ali-Sight at the moment.

"Sweet Celestia," she whispered, "Is this what the world looks like to you?"

Pinkie just nodded, her own Sight opened as well as she breathed a mental sigh of relief. Twilight was a great friend, but whenever she got into research mode she turned downright terrifying. Pinkie was just happy she'd managed to distract Twilight with Ali-Sight before she tried strapping Pinkie into the TRI (Thaumic Resonance Imaging) tucked away in a suspiciously dark corner.

Twilight's horn lit up, and a swarm of magical threads latched onto it, then stretched out and lifted a nearby book. Her ears twitched energetically as she drank in the scene.

"This changes everything," Twilight breathed, more to herself than to Pinkie, "What else did he teach you?"

"Weeeell," Pinkie said thoughtfully, "He did show me how to exit reality."

The book fell to the floor with a clap of thunder as Twilight lunged into Pinkie's personal space, her wings flaring out behind her. "WHAT!?" she screeched, forcing Pinkie to slap her hooves over her ears, then backed up sheepishly when she saw her friends reaction, "Sorry, Pinkie, it's just... I've never even heard of something like that! Traveling to another universe, sure, but stepping outside of time? How is that even possible? Just think of the implications!" Twilight trailed off as she stared into spare, a small line of drool escaping her mouth.

Pinkie stared at her for a moment, then murmured, "Maybe that's enough science for today," as she slipped off the examination table, "You really don't look so good, Twilight. If I called you a mad genius right now, I don't think it would be a compliment."

Twilight blinked, then took a few deep breaths and calmed herself somewhat, "Right. Don't want to lose my professionalism," she muttered, prompting a snort from Pinkie, "How about this. if you just show me that universe trick Discord taught you, I'll take a break for a few days." She gestured towards a pile of dirty dishes with a wing, "It's been a while since I took meal in the dining room, and I know Spike doesn't like cleaning up after me, even if he does it anyway. Also, just think! If Ali-sight inside the universe works so well, it must be indescribable from the outside!"

Pinkie stumbled, then turned to look at Twilight in surprise, "...I never used it out there," she said in dawning realization.

"Then now's the time!!!!" Twilight said loud enough for Pinkie to see the exclamation points, "Ready when you are!"

Pinkie nodded, then carefully wrapped one her tails around Twilight's midsection, and pulled. With a pop, they appeared in the void next to their timeline, which Pinkie noticed had moved considerably since the last time she was here, and Twilight screamed.

When Pinkie turned to see what she was looking at, it suddenly became understandable. Her tail was no longer one, or five, or twenty five, but a swarm the size of a blimp, sprouting and retracting body parts at random. Everything that wasn't Pinkie's tail looked exactly the same as Inside, but it was still quite the shock, especially when Pinkie suddenly found herself looking back at her own face through a dozen mismatched eyes.

"Riiiiiiiight, forgot about this," Pinkie said, and with a concerted effort folded her new extension into a pocket dimension, "Twilight, you can stop clawing at your eyes now, it's gone."

Twilight just glared at her, and Pinkie sighed, which caused Twilight to soften her gaze, "Let's make this quick," she said, and they turned their Sight on.

"You're seeing this too, right Twilight?" Pinkie said finally.

"If by this, you mean a double rainbow around our reality, then yes," Twilight replied, flapping her wings for a closer look.

"So intense," Pinkie droned. However, as she spun all her tails like a massive propeller and followed her friend, it crossed her mind that this was something Discord hadn't told her about. Weird. Eh, she'd ask him later.

Author's Note:

A question for all you Homestucks: what makes a timeline the Alpha timeline? Leave your guesses in the comments, and if you guess right I'll put your favorite ship into one of my other stories, "Pajama Sam: Friendship's Not Tragic, in Fact it's Like Magic!" If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you go check it out.

Now, as there seems to be a demand for a picture of Chaos! Pinkie, I'm putting out a call for fanart. Any submissions will appear in the author's notes of the chapter posted after it was received. For reference, Pinkie's body is somewhere between Luna's and Cadance's in size and shape, with five long tails that split into five "fingers" about 3/4's of the way down. Her mane is also a bit bigger, but that I leave up to you.

Next Time on Discord's Apprentice: Lesson 5?: The Magical Spectrum.