Discord's Apprentice

by Architect Ironturtle

Interlude, Part 1: Button's Birthday

Weeeep, woooop, weeeep, wooop.

The sound of a time machine with the parking brake on echoed across the blackness of the void as it came to a stop next to a small offshoot of a secondary timeline. The door to the blue box popped open, and two creatures stepped, one a pinky pony wearing a fez, the other a mismash of various animals wearing a cowboy hat.

"Thanks for the lift, Doc!" said Pinkie Pie, grinning as she waved at the box.

"Anytime, Pinkie," replied its owner, "A friend of Discord is a friend of mine. Now be good, ok?"

"I will!" she chirped as the door closed and the box flew away. Turning to Discord, she asked, "How did you meet this guy again?"

"Eh, I messed with a couple of circuits in a race of robot men and made them all lousy shots," Discord said with a shrug, "Ended up saving an entire planet he really likes by accident. What was its name again? Terra? Whatever, its not important."

He pointed at the timeline, and the exact spot where Pinkie had placed their homing beacon at the start of the journey, "What is important is getting reattuned to normal time. We've been out here a while, so you've probably forgotten something you need to do."

Pinkie nodded and circled the timeline once, then said, "Ok, I'm good," and wiggled inside. Once the tips of her tail had fully entered the timeline and her hooves had met the cobblestones in the alley, time restarted itself. Ponies stepped, and spoke, and Twilight remembered she could teleport and blinked back to her palace to pour over the new data.

A croak and a squeak signaled Discord had joined her, and as she turned to watch him spin his head around a few times before setting it straight, a thought struck her.

"Say, master," she asked, "You don't think the Warners are going to get in trouble, do you? We did kind of leave them holding the bag there."

Discord just smiled slyly and said, "Don't worry, my apprentice. I'm sure they're going to be just fine..."

88888888

"What do you mean we're going to turn a profit on this?" asked Mr. Plotz incredously, "That party consumed every ounce of food in the studio, made everyone call in sick for the day, and left the auditorium in such a complete mess that it's going to take weeks to straighten it out. How can we be making money?"

"We filmed everything, sir, " said one of his producers, "There's enough raw footage from last night to allow us to make new cartoons for decades without having to run another camera, and that's if we only use the best material. Honestly, sir, this party is the best thing that's ever happened to Warner Bros. Studios, present damages notwithstanding, of course." He gestured towards the dance floor they were sitting next to and at the countless passed out employees and celebrities, "Actually, I just remembered the shareholders want to speak with you. Something about permanently hiring whoever made this possible?"

Mr. Plotz sighed as his gaze drifted over towards the Warner trio, who were busy directing the cleanup efforts with bullhorns and clapboards, "Well," he said to himself, "it could be worse." The space warping spell-work collapsed at that precise moment, burying everyone under a pile of random junk and debris.

"Case in point," he groaned. "Maintenance, get me out of here, I have a meeting to get to!"

88888888

Pinkie let out a sigh of relief, "Okie-dokie-lokie!" she said happily, "Thanks for the fun Discord, now I've got to go get ready. Button's birthday party is today!"

"Ah, interesting," Discord said absently, "I actually need to get going too. I've got a date tonight."

Pinkie gasped, "Really? Good for you! Do you need any more help?"

Discord laughed, "I think I'll be fine this time, but if anything goes wrong, I'll let you know, ok?" Pinkie nodded and bounced into Sugarcube Corner as Discord walked through the door back to his room in the palace.

88888888

"Let's see," Pinkie muttered, sorting through the files in her party cavern under Sugarcube Corner, "Did I sort Button by first name or last? Ah, here he is, last name." She pulled out the correct file and opened it, spreading out a couple of forms alongside a series of pictures depicting the foal in question both happy and sad, "Button likes video games, twirly hats, and building stuff, and dislikes large crowds and shouting, although loud nonverbal noises are fine." Pinkie turned to stare at a map of Ponyville that marked all possible party hosting locations and continued, "That means I shouldn't invite more than ten or so of his closest friends, and I think the arcade just opened a new room, so that'll work for a location. Favorite cake type is cookies-and-cream ice cream cake, which is upstairs in the freezer in the shape of a beanie, and favorite food is cherry tarts, which are in the oven. And remember Pinkie, no shouting surprise!" A burst of confetti punctuated the statement, and she added, "Also I really need to figure why that keeps happening. I should ask Discord if subconscious casting is a thing."

88888888

Pinkie sat on a bench against the wall of the dim arcade room, watching Button and his friends face off against each other in a massive six-player racing game and completely ignoring her. She just didn't understand what had gone wrong. At first, everything was fine, she'd showed up at Button's house, taken him and his Mom to the arcade along with his friends, showed them the room she'd rented out, nothing out of the ordinary, and yet for some bizarre reason she got the feeling she was being... avoided. It wasn't obvious, just a few little things, like Sweetie Belle rushing through a conversation with her, or Pinkie's party tricks not holding the foals's attention for as long as they should. And now they were all playing together, with even the few foals who didn't have a spot at the controls clustered around and cheering them on. Pinkie Pie was confused, and she intended to fix that.

"Mrs. Mash?" She asked, walking up to the mare as she slurped at a soda, "Am I doing a bad job today?"

"What!? No, not at all!" Mrs. Mash hastily assured her, "The party's great! Button hasn't had this much fun in months. It's just, well..." she trailed off, staring at the wall as she groped for the right words, "You make them, make us, nervous now. It's not your fault, nothing like that, it's... Discord." She kept talking about how she still felt skittish whenever the Dracoequus dropped by, but Pinkie had stopped listening. Of course it was Discord. He was scary( WoOoOoOoOoo), so anyone who spent a lot of time with him, and especially learned from him (the rumors had run rampant across Ponyville in the days since she'd accepted), would be scary by association. The only reason Pinkie hadn't noticed sooner was probably because she'd still been in a daze of relief from finally having her life make sense.

"It's fine, Mrs. Mash," Pinkie told her, "I get you here, but I can't be Ponyville's premier premium party planner if everypony is petrified in my presence. I have a plan. Or, I will soon." Pinkie paced, running through a bunch of different scenarios before finally deciding what to do. Fortunately, the race ended just as she finished thinking, so it was easy to grab the foals's attention while they switched seats.

"Excuse me, Everypony," Pinkie called, "Could you come here please? I've got something speeeeciiiiaaaal."

Their faces filled with confusion as they gathered around her, confusion which only increased as, with a few gestures, the arcade faded into the background, leaving them standing on a piece of carpet floating in a void.

"Ok, Birthday Boy," Pinkie said, "Pick a video game, any game."

"Um," Button stammered, "Team Castle 3?"

"Could you picture it for me please?" Pinkie asked. He nodded, still looking perplexed, although that quickly gave way to wonder along with his friends as one of the games most popular maps, Storming the Keep, materialized around them. The outer wall was behind them and the fortress before, all sharp peaks, leering gargoyles, and slitted windows beneath an overcast sky. Button looked down and realized with a start he was out decked in the knight's suit of armor, while his friends were each dressed as one of the other classes. Suddenly, the gates to the keep burst open and a swarm of cartoonish goblins poured out, weapons at the ready as the shrieked and taunted the partygoers. Pinkie grinned at Button, whose open jaw slowly grew to mirror hers.

"How do you feel about a little PvE?" she said cheekily, jerking her head towards the oncoming hoard.

Button responded by drawing his sword, shouting, "For Equestria!" around the handle, and charging, his more reluctant friends following him while Pinkie hung back to oversee the battlefield. It wouldn't do to have any of her charges get hurt, after all, physically, mentally, or emotionally. That was why the goblins exploded into confetti when you stabbed them and squeaked like rubber ducks under a blunt instrument. Pinkie's specialty was making ponies happy, and the only ponies who liked blood and guts that much were best avoided anyway.

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Pinkie staggered up the stairs to her room and collapsed on her bed, tired but happy. The kids had kept going for hours, and they'd ended up using up all the time they'd rented at the arcade and had to move the whole thing outside until it got dark. However, the hugs at the end had made it all worthwhile. Everypony present had praised it as the best party they'd ever had, even the initially nervous mother.

"I had no idea those fighting games could be so much fun!" she said as she shook Pinkie's hoof and handed her a bag of bits, "I mean, most of the advertised games are so dark and grim. But this! It was so silly it made me laugh! Thank you, thank you so much!"

Pinkie smiled to herself and stretched, feeling sore all over despite not having over exerted herself all day. She knew she should get up and brush her teeth, maybe play with Gummy a bit, but this bed was oh so soft, which was odd, because it had never felt this soft before and "Ooh joy happy joy pink flarplite gummygummyDiscordgummyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

88888888

System strode through the pitch black tunnel with the utter confidence that only came from having a perfect mental map of his surroundings. Honestly, now that he was awake again he wondered why he had ever slumbered in the first place. It felt good to move, stretch his limbs, work out that kink he always got whenever he slept on his side.

A gradual brightening of the tunnel ahead of him told him he was nearing his destination, and he soon stepped into a massive cavern with a ceiling so high it faded into the darkness. Taking one of the rough hewn paths, he climbed past sharp crags of rock lit from within, the menagerie of creatures trapped upon their peaks shying away from him as he passed. As it should be. Soon enough, he came to junction that led to the surface, and face to faces with the great Cerberus. The guard dog growled a warning at him as he approached, although it didn't faze System in the slightest. Instead, he marched right up to the big mutt and stuck himself right under his nose.

Cerberus sniffed curiously, then let out an excited bark as System chuckled. "Who's a good boy, Cebby? Yes you are, yes you are!" A quick spell pulled three trees from the forest above, and System cooed, "You see the sticks, boy? You see them?" Cerberus bounced and barked, his tail moving in a blur as it shattered a nearby stone outcropping. "FETCH!" shouted System, and Cerberus took off, all three of his heads barking happily.

System sat back with a contented sigh and waited patiently for his favorite pet to return. He couldn't actually leave until the compromise had been broken, and it was still intact, for now at least, so he might as well have some fun. He wasn't worried in the slightest about any of the prisoners escaping while Cerberus was distracted: after all, what kind of prisoner would dare try to escape while the Warden himself was on duty?

Author's Note:

Welcome to the mind-screw, everyone.

Next Time on Discord's Apprentice: interlude part two, Discord's Second Date.

P.S. I have finally figured out what my writing style is. The Minimalist, or Lazy Bum approach (saying what you want to say in as few words as possible) combined with Xanatos Speed Chess. It seems to be working so far.

Comments

[Twilight_Shimmer]

Loved the update!

[the other sans]

That party consumed every once of food in the studio
Pinkie's specially was making ponies happy
but this bed was oh so soft, which was odd, because it had never felt this before and
maybe play with gummy a bit
"FETCH!" Shouted system

1. Ounce.
2. Speciality.
3. Because it had never felt like this before.
4. Forgot to capitalise.
5. Wrong capitalisation, forgot to capitalise.

[Basic Information]

You sir

[Bugsydor]

I wonder if all that magic use might have accelerated Pinkie's metamorphosis...

It was fun to see her turn on birthday mode in that oh-so-familiar game. Keep up the fun!

[Emperor]

You know what this story needs?

An existentialist monologue from Gummy on the nature of things and his pony owner/friend slowly turning into a pony-draconequus mishmash.

[Wandering Eye]

This story so far has been Premium quality Awesome. well handled discord and Pinkie, LOVING all the chaos (HAIL ERIS!) and the whole crossover section was zoggin' beautiful, it was!

as it stands, i wonder about Pinkie. whats going on with her changes... i shoulda kept better track of them, but all the music in this put me in a superb mood and i got distracted trying to read and listen simultaneously. man, i wish id been to that party. those beats RULED.

[EnderHooves]

Thank you, thank you so much!

Missing a closing quote here.

That was an awesome chapter. I look forward to more.

[emeraldhuskydragon0]

*suffocates/chokes on the sheer amount of hecking chaos is the room* I need some water1!!1!1!!

[DovahkiinMaster]

Im proud, you knew about the parking brake thing. Ur mega cool.