Short Flights And Failed Takeoffs

by Snakeskin Ducttape

Snakeskin Ducttape's Alpha Centaur: Alien Crossfire

Scenario A:

“No, Twilight,” Celestia interrupted. “I’m afraid we must call in another to stop him.”

“Who?” Twilight asked, her curiosity overpowering the unintentional chide of Celestia’s interruption.

“A brave warrior, and vanquisher of evil from beyond the vastness of the stars,” Luna said, before Celestia could speak.

“Luna,” Celestia said, shaking her head. “I do not doubt her intentions, nor her ability, but her demeanor frightens me.”

“As it should,” Luna said, nodding. “When her foes hear her name, the terror is palpable.”

“Who is this pony?” Cadence asked.

“She is not a pony,” Celestia said. “And once much, Luna, I must object.”

“It is the best option,” Luna insisted.

Celestia let out a sigh. “Very well, let us call out to her. I do prefer her violence over Tirek’s destruction.”

—

The dread warlock, Tirek, stomped across the landscape towards the town of Ponyville.

Another great villain might have been a bit worried by the ease of which the princesses had given up their power, but not Tirek. He did not have much subtlety in him. Power and everything to him, and to him, power was destruction. One had to look to find a more simple being in Equestria.

And as he neared the town, Twilight and her friends helped their weakened princesses and Twilight’s brother, the prince, peer above the hill they hid behind to witness Tirek approach the town.

“Where is she?” Fluttershy asked nervously.

“She’ll be here,” Celestia said. “She has never failed.”

There was a flash of light as a yellow object smashed into Equestria’s atmosphere, superheating the air around it at it crashed towards the ground, before slowing down quickly enough to gently touch down on the soil between the centaur and the town of Ponyville.

An armored figure emerged from the vessel, clad in the ancestral war gear of her adoptive people, the glossy and sleek design containing destructive power the likes of which technology might never achieve in Equestria.

She looked at the nervous ponies peeking out above the hill, giving them a nod, and walked towards the centaur.

“Who dares stand before the mighty Tirek!?” the centaur roared.

Samus Aran gently lifted her arm cannon, and aimed it towards Tirek as she kept walking.

---

There had been a moment of worry as the enormous centaur had literally swallowed his opponent, intent on consuming what he saw as powerful magic, before the battle very suddenly and very decisively ended in the extraequestrial warrior’s victory.

The ponies looked on, stunned, as she turned to them, once again nodding in their direction.

For their part, the ponies felt very conflicted. On one hoof, the threat was gone and the magics he had stolen was soaring back towards their owners. On the other, pieces of the threat in question was still raining down around them and blanketing the landscape.

“And that,” Luna said, coping a little better than the others, “is a victory that should be rewarded.”

“Y-yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, shakily, trying and failing to properly punch the air in victory. “That was bucking aws-uagh!”

The others slowly backed away from Rainbow, as her voice was cut off from her emptying her stomach.

---

In tradition of many tales of heroics and great deeds, the princess of Equestria was to reward their savior; in the bedroom.

As Luna lay on her side, she playfully pushed the orange, armored ball on her bed, smiling to herself as it rolled a body length away from her.

“We suppose it’s true that the powerful often find it exciting to delve into another role in intimate moments,” she said.

The ball was held very tightly with black leather straps, squirming gently from side to side.

“You are a very flexible mare,” Luna observed. “Do you want to be let up for a moment?”

The ball rolled back and forth in small, negatory motions, and Luna could sense the protest among the satisfaction. She embraced the armored sphere and gently nuzzled it.

---

Scenario B:

“And once again, Luna, I must object.”

Luna let out a sigh, and waved invitingly at her sister. “Fine, we shall do it our way.”

Summonings were performed, magics were stolen, and princes and princesses were relocated to a hill outside of Ponyville.

“Where is she?” Fluttershy asked nervously.

“It’s not a she,” Celestia said, then put her hoof to her chin. “Or… at least I don’t think so.”

“Where is… he, then?” Applejack asked.

Before anyone could ask, there was a sharp twinkle in the sky, and an a bright yellow star-shaped object crashed into the ground between the approaching Centaur and Ponyville.

The ponies up on the hill looked on in disbelief as a small, round, pink creature with eyes of a size to match their own walked out of the smoking crater with vaguely arm and leg shaped appendages.

It looked around in confusion, before spotting them up on the hill and waving at them eagerly with a look of pure happiness.

“It’s… a bubblegum,” Rainbow Dash said, not quite believing her own words as she saw Kirby waving at them.

“Who dares stand before the mighty Tirek!?” the centaur roared, making Kirby turned towards him, ready to fight by the look of his large eyes.

The centaur walked close enough to see the pink shape staring at him defiantly, and started laughing heartily.

“Aaah-hahahahahahah-hauaAAAAGH!”

Tirek’s laughter was cut off by a panicked scream as Kirby opened his mouth wide enough to take up his entire surface, allowing a torrent of air to flow into it.

Tirek quickly lost his balance and fell onto his barrel. He gripped the ground with his hands, making his rear parts flow first towards the consuming entity, but only managed to delay the inevitable.

After a both comical and disturbing sight, the ponies kept looking on in disbelief at what they saw.

The centaur was gone, and the little pink shaped let out a hearty belch, and then looked at the ponies with the same happy smile as before.

“... Yeah!” Rainbow whooped, punching the air. “Go Bubblegum!”

---

Celestia lay on her side on her bed, a look of much fulfilment as she observed the shape next to her.

“Ready for more, my sweet?” she asked, a little provocatively.

Kirby nodded eagerly, a large smile on his face.

“Heeeere comes the pegasus!” Celestia sing-sang, and floated a large bit of cake in front of Kirby. “Whoosh! Whooosh!”

Author's Note:

Remember that minor fad that was around a while back about the ponies calling video game characters to beat up Tirek? Well, never let it be said that Snakeskin Ducttape is a victim of current fashion.

Now, for anyone who is interested, I'm at the final showdown of mlaabq. I'm really close, it's just that the scene is kicking my ass. I hope you can all hold out, even though I'm not sure I can.

Comments

[Cyana Flame]

Go Bubblegum!

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

9540526
Best character in Smash

[Cyana Flame]

[mustangdrew4]

The bit with Celestia at the end cracked me up. 10/10

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

9543738
Glad to hear it. Kirby and Celestia would be an awesome adventuring duo

[Bloody_Tofu]

Oh ... Ug! S&M Samus with Luna just...

Yes sir I’d like to order a barrel. Yes of brain bleach. I’ll pay extra for next day delivery...

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

9549858
Yep, that was some hardcore cuddling

[Snakeskin Ducttape]

9597734
Nice

When my friends and I were playing Star Wars, my friend picked playing jawa, homebrew race I think, and the fact that we couldn't find any canon on what jawas look like under their robes has been the source of some humor. I was GMing once, and their opponent was a dark jedi, and because of some missteps they were facing him with nothing to swing the odds in their favor against this pretty threatening opponent. I agreed that the dark jedi passed out of horror when he used the force to see what was under the jawa's robes.

[FOXTrot2]

Now I wanna see what Meta Knight could do. That would be epic.

[DerpTape]

9549877
"Hardcore Cuddling", why do I fear this being a tag on P@rnHub?