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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5680029
I apologize for taking so long to reply, my head hasn't been doing all that well lately.
In the chapter The Proverbial Panicking Pony; or Out Of The Frying Pan And Into Hot Water I had mentioned that Trixie was terrified of teleporting. I don't recall seeing Trixie really teleport in the show (although her 'disappearing in a puff of smoke' could have been accompanied with a teleport, it never really seems to be an actual teleport, yanno?), but I'm also sure they've never stated her being bad at, or frightened of, teleporting. I've decided that she is. Trixie's expression of shame and humiliation is due to Twilight accidentally mentioning teleportation. It's a really sensitive issue to Trixie, right up there with Fluttershy's fear of flying.
Honestly, that's what's supposed to be happening. I do promise that all of them will eventually be addressed and answered.
I hadn't ever stated she couldn't transmute. In fact, in the just-released chapter Coffee, Tea, or Diplomacy? Trixie does use transmutation. She used transmutation to physically change a teapot and teacup into the specialized coffeepot and demitasse for serving Luna
For most of your other observations and questions (which are quite accurate and incisive!) I'm unable to address them at this point in time without giving away a lot of future developments. But I'm really flattered that you've taken the time to so comprehensively review and comment on the story. You've noticed a lot of things I was hoping readers would see and wonder about!
Hm-hm, interesting. As befits her profession, Trixie certainly can improvise on very short notice. Even as things escalate well out of her comfort zone.
And it's still interesting to see Trixie accomplish things that the more scholarly Twilight thinks are impossible, possibly because Trixie doesn't know they're supposed to be impossible. Handled badly, a thing like that could be seen as cheap and overpowered, but it's done well here and appears more as an alternate approach that isn't considered by the mainstream thought.
This is actually an often overlooked point by the fandom. A lot of writers assume that Twilight knows everything about magic due to her extensive studies, whereas the show consistently reveals that there's much more to learn, that there are things she's ignorant of and that she has misconceptions of. In fact, anyone in real life who studies something to a greater depth will soon realize how much more there is to learn and how little they actually know. Conversely, it's the ignoramuses who assume they know everything and have mastered their craft already. (Known as "The Dunning-Kruger Effect".)
And on that note, reading this made me realize I really need to improve my ability to describe things. You do an admirable job of that. Well done.
Okay, so, first: sorry for my lack of English knowing. Next: I registered specially because of this story so I could write this comment, which starts here.
At first when I read chapters one and two it was like, well, magic. It was so passionate I could literally feel what characters felt, I physically shivered with that Twilight's "no", heck, I doubt i can describe it well enough even in my native language. And then other chapters happened. First time writing, eh? Here's my advice: if you have an idea (like all this stuff with elementals or Trixie being one of most powerful magicians), write it down somewhere, wait till the next morning and then think: is it a good idea (well, it is) and does it fit what you're writing now, do you really need it here, or you can use it later in another fiction? If you're going to put everithing you can possibly think of in one particalar story, you will never reach your "point B". Hope, you can use it and turn everything that's already here into something unit (not sure about this word, google translate), so nothing will look out of place in the end. If somehow any of this had helped you, i would be glad. Now, go and make me adore you creation even more than i already do :3.
Again, sorry for my English, did i mess it too bad?
I really like that salamander
Sorry everyone for the delay in replying. I have recurring health issues, and the last week or so my plot has been kicked big time.
5711975
I can't thank you enough for such a wonderful compliment, I only hope that I can continue doing so.
5712035
First off, let me assure you that, regarding your English, no, you certainly have not "messed it too bad". In fact, had you not mentioned it, I would never have suspected that English was not your primary language.
Secondly, I have to say that having a reader specifically register simply to comment on my story is one of the higher compliments I think a writer can achieve. Thank you!
No, this isn't my first time writing. And, yes, I can see why someone might see the story as getting bogged down in subplots. I was a bit worried about that myself. However, the reason why a lot of "subplotting" is going on is because I personally dislike reading stories in which two dissimilar characters (especially ones with a "history" between them) suddenly fall passionately in love with each other within a matter of days. I wanted something different, more, well, "real". I want them to have a real, meaningful relationship, and that doesn't happen just overnight, or within a few days. Hopefully, as things play out, that will become more evident.
Thanks again!
5758462
Thank you for all the comments!
Twilight was the one speaking, and she phrased it that way since the occasion was formal; i.e. the Royals Diarchs being introduced to one of their subjects, with the formality of the pending introductions to a Primary Elemental with whom they wished to propose a formal peace treaty.
Thanks again everyone!
5766529
Guess what? I forgot my passwords both to fimfiction and gmail accounts, so i did it again, enjoy.
Makes sense for me. I think the reason I focused my attention on it was not the existence of sub-plot itself, but how fast it turned from "a-lot-of-action" to "a-slow-developing" state. I love this story anyway.
Thanks for reply, good luck.
I hope I won't forget pass again.This story quickly became about much more than bondage. You might want to indicate that in the description. And please continue it as soon as you can!
5774399
You're not the first to have mentioned that.
Any ideas as to improve the story description? I'm open to suggestions!
I'm working on that. Honest!
5774889
Let's see... Maybe you could change the second paragraph to something like, "As their relationship develops, Twilight learns that there is much more to the magician than anyone thought, and it just might change Equestria forever," to put less emphasis on the bondage. That way, people won't be disappointed about the lack of explicit interactions between the two unicorns. (I admit I was a little frustrated, but I still like the story.)
5766529
Huh, it does make sense if its formal, the question mark threw me off at the time.
Ya poked for a comment, so I will add my thoughts. I've always been a fan of the kink, so the story itself had a pretty simple hook for me. The big thing though ...and the real key that sets this work apart in my mind is that you went above and beyond ... developing a story and your own universe elements to add character and development. That took what was - at its core - a simple bondage scene and made it a real joy to read for all of its facets.
I'm utterly delighted by this story. I can't wait for more!
I'm loving this. It's slow paced but with no filler - just oodles of character interaction and interesting world-building. You can really sympathize with both Twilight and Trixie, and I'm intrigued about the little details you've sprinkled in about Trixie.
This is really, really well written.
Ok I cant lie, this story is very well written, however I have a very hard time staying interested. There is dialogue, but compared to the detailing, its very little. The story is detailed, a little too detailed. You over explain everything and detail everything so much that it gets perceived as boring and thus I lost interest. Very well written, but I suggest that every now and then, add a nice little filler chapter, one that is not overly detailed. Also I suggest that you add a little more dialogue in the future chapters. Other than that, it is a very well written story, and I am looking forward to reading future chapters.
Aw, I feel like this has been abandoned. Please don't do that, I love this story.
I hope nothing has happened to the author. *knocks on wood* I want to see a continuation of this.
6526878 I hope so as well. We used to talk about this story quite a bit through e-mails, but I haven't heard from him in months, and have not gotten any replies either sadly. I know he was sick, but not exactly how sick. So I can only hope he's doing okay and just randomly gave up on writing....
next chapter please!
more please
Still patiently waiting for more bby.
7606288
7494744 there isn't going to be anymore
The author has been offline for 101 weeks. They're obviously not coming back
8130283
You never know, though I guess this is the norm for twixie fics. Still patiently waiting anyway.
I marked to track with the hope it continues