• Published 2nd May 2012
  • 2,527 Views, 73 Comments

Choices - Twilove



A human girl gets the chance to go to Equestria, but nothing is what it seems

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5
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Chapter 5

[Note; there are some person switches here. One in the beginning from first to third, and one a bit at the end, from third to first again. Just so you know]

I don’t know how long it had been since I was trapped here. Maybe a few hours or more. I just didn’t know. I could hear Twilight and her friends and the fake-me. The princesses were coming soon. I didn’t know what those villains had planned for them, but I knew this could not go well. I listened to them as I sat in this place.

“Please, Twilight. Don’t trust her!” I yelled, but to no avail. I couldn’t do anything, only wait. Wait until something happened. After a while I could hear that the princesses had arrived.

{Third person switch}

“Princess Celestia. It’s so nice to see you.” Twilight said to the approaching alicorn.

“It’s nice to see you too, my dear student.” Celestia answered. Luna followed her older sister to Sugarcube corner. “And Twilight, who is your new friend?” She asked when she sat down at a table in the small shop. It was decorated with all kinds of sweets and other things.

Twilight looked behind her at her newest company. “This is Angel Blossom. We found her a few days ago. It looked like she had fallen from a tree, but she can’t remember what happened so I offered her to stay here with us.” She told her mentor.

Celestia smiled warmly at the dark purple coated stranger. “Nice to meet you Angel.” She said. A small wicked smile crept on the strangers face as she approached the princess.

“No, the pleasure is all mine.” She said as she bowed slightly.

Princess Celestia took a glance to her side where Mrs. Cake was smiling at her like a maniac.

“Would you like some tea?” She asked. Celestia nodded kindly and the earth pony trotted off.

Looking back at Twilight and her friend, she noticed a strange look in the stranger’s eyes. But as quick as it had appeared, it disappeared after a single blink of an eye. Celestia paid no further attention to it, but decided to leave this ‘Angel’ alone, for now.

“Where is princess Luna?” Twilight asked. The sun princess looked at her student and nodded to the other side of the shop. Twilight turned around and saw the moon princess sitting against a wall. Silently looking at the ponies that surrounded her. A few fillies and colts tugged on her mane playfully, others just looked at her astonished, like she was a God.

“She doesn’t know how to deal with all the attention.” Princess Celestia noted chuckling slightly. Twilight nodded in agreement. “Why don’t you introduce your new friend to her, Twilight?” The unicorn nodded at her mentor and looked back at her other unicorn friend.

“Would you like to meet her, Angel?” She asked her friend. Angel smiled slightly and nodded.

“I would like that, yes.” With that the two walked towards the younger princess. Princess Celestia looked at their retreating backs as Mrs. Cake trotted towards her with a cup of tea.

“Hello princess Luna.” Twilight said. The princess looked up at her as she was sitting on the ground, playing slightly with the little foals. “How are you today?”

Luna brushed the small ponies off of her gently and stood up. “I'm alright, thank you.” She said. “And who is this?” The princess asked when she looked at the stranger at Twilight’s side.

“This is Angel Blossom. We found her a few days ago and since then she stayed with us.” Twilight told her. Luna looked at the stranger and frowned slightly.

“Where do you come from, if I may ask?” She asked, taking a few steps closer.

“I’m very sorry princess, but sadly I do not remember.” Angel answered, her ears lowering a bit as the princess came nearer.

“Hmm, that is indeed… Sad…” The princess glanced to her side and saw Twilights other friends. “Well, we hope you will enjoy yourself here with these wonderful ponies.” Luna said as she smiled at Twilight. “If you’ll excuse me.” She walked past the two towards her sister and sat down next to her. Twilight and Angel walked towards their friends as Luna approached her sister.

“Big sis, can I ask you something about that stranger?” Luna asked. Celestia looked at her, but the moon princess had locked her gaze on Angel.

“Of course, my dearest sister.”

“Does she seem familiar to you?”

“In no way.”

“Hmm…”

“But” Celestia looked at the blue-maned unicorn. “She does not seem trustworthy.”

Luna nodded in agreement. “I'll keep an eye on her.” The dark mare wanted to stand up, but a white coated hoof stopped her in her tracks.

“I will confront her myself.” The sun princess stood up and trotted towards the stranger as Luna slowly followed.

“Angel Blossom.”

Said unicorn turned around slowly, her eyes glowing green and a wicked smile on her face.

“Yes, princess?”

That was when the princess realized it. This was not a normal pony. She charged her, but to no avail. The purple mare evaporated into smoke and disappeared. Celestia stood up tall, her sister close behind her as well as the main six.

“Be gone monster! Stay away from my land!” The princess yelled. A wicked laugh filled the room. After that all ponies went outside where the smoke had reappeared. The smoke had taken the form of Angel again.

“I trusted you!” Twilight yelled, her voice fiery and her eyes angry. Celestia gently put a hoof on her students shoulder and reached down to whisper in her ear.

“This is not the real Angel.” She said. Twilight was stunned. How could she know this? “They can only take the form of an existing pony. You have to search for the real Angel and bring her here. Only she can stop them.” Twilight looked at her mentor as she finished and nodded.

“And you..” Celestia turned back to the fake pony as Twilight ran off to find the real one. “Be gone!”

-----------

Where should I look?’ Twilight thought as she ran towards her library. Maybe there was a book that could help her.

Twilight…

“What was that? Who is there?” Twilight looked around her but found no one as she ran further to the library. “Spike! I need your help!” The little dragon ran up to the unicorn with sleepy eyes.

“What’s going on?” He asked as Twilight ran past him towards the books.

“Where could she be?” She muttered to herself.

“Twilight?” Spike walked towards her again. “What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know… Maybe a map of Equestria… Or.. Oh, I don’t know!” The unicorn let out a frustrated groan and let herself fall on the ground.

“What’s going on Twilight?” Spike asked again.

“That pony we found, Angel, was suddenly replaced by some kind of monster somehow and now I have to find the real Angel to defeat them.” Twilight told him. Spike nodded and looked at a shelf.

“What about that?” He asked as he pointed towards a small book laying lonely on his side on a shelf, no other books surrounding it. Twilight walked up to it and levitated it with her magic.

The world of unknown Equestria? I’ve never read this…” She opened it and read. Her eyes scanned every page until she suddenly gasped. “That’s it!” She picked up her saddle bags, threw them on her back and put the book in them. “Thanks Spike.” She said before running out of the library, leaving behind the small confused dragon.

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“Sister!” Princess Luna ran towards her older sister, who lay defeated on the ground. “Big sis, are you alright?” She asked. Celestia silently nodded.

“You have to find the real Angel, Luna. Help Twilight find her.” Celestia said as her eyes closed and a deep sigh escaped her lips. When her eyes opened again she stood back up and confronted this enemy a second time. She had to keep this monster busy until the real Angel was found.

The younger princess nodded to her sister and flapped her wings, flying off into the distance to find Twilight.

-----------

Near the edge of town Twilight ran as fast as she could towards the Everfree Forest. Going past Fluttershy’s cottage without any interest in it. She just had to find the real Angel and defeat these monsters.

“Twilight Sparkle.”

The unicorn stopped in her tracks when she heard her name and turned around. Luna came flying towards her with haste.

“I’m glad I found you, Twilight. Celestia is having problems fighting this enemy. We have to find Angel as quick as we can.” The princess told her. Twilight just nodded and continued running towards the creepy forest.

“Do you know where we can find her, Twilight?” Luna asked as they entered the dark woods. The unicorn nodded to her and ran further.

“We have to hurry. Not only for princess Celestia, but also for Angel herself.” Twilight told the alicorn.

Luna looked at her confused. “What exactly do you mean?” She asked.

“Angel is in a secured place deep inside the Everfree Forest.” Twilight started. “I read it in this book.” She levitated the book out of her bag and showed it to the princess.

The world of unknown Equestria? We do not know this book.” The princess said.

“Well, it said here” Twilight flipped through the pages while still running over the path. “that there is a contained space in the Everfree Forest. On my way to the library I heard a voice calling my name and it sounded like Angel. When I read this” She pointed to a part of the text with her horn. “I realized where she was.”

Luna read the part. “Anypony who comes into this space, or sphere as it seems, is contained with magic and cannot break out. They can, however, hear ponies they had seen before containment and contact with them. Thought it is very dangerous in this sphere as it will run out of oxygen after twenty four hours, resulting in death of those who are inside. It is still unknown to ponykind how this sphere exactly works, but it can only be opened from the outside.”

Twilight nodded as Luna finished talking.

“Do you know how to open it?” The princess asked.

“Well, not exactly, but I have an idea.” Twilight answered as they ran further into the forest.

-----------

{First person switch}

It was lonely in this sphere. I couldn’t hear Twilight and the others anymore. After that the princesses arrived, I couldn’t hear anything. I just looked up at the top of the sphere. It was filled with colors, mostly a magenta like tint with a bit of purple and red through it. Sighing I closed my eyes again. I couldn’t sleep in here. Not with the thought of those villains wanting to hurt my friends. I finally knew how it felt to have friends. It was a nice feeling, being liked and cherished. Tears started rolling down my face again as I sat quietly and hugged my knees tight to my chest. Finally, after lying down for a while, I fell asleep.

“Angel! Angel Blossom!”

My eyes shot open and a bright light suddenly flooded my vision. I saw a purple and a dark blue blurs coming towards me. When they were close enough I could see that they were Twilight and princess Luna.

“Twilight…”

“Luna, we have to bring her back to Ponyville.” Twilight said. Luna nodded and I was levitated of the ground. I saw that my hands were replaced by hooves again. Apparently I turned into a pony again the moment the sphere was broken.

Luna put me on her back and flew away. With a last glance down I saw Twilight teleporting herself with her magic. My eyes closed as Luna brought me back to Ponyville.

Celestia was bruised bad when we came back. Luna put me on the ground and Celestia came walking towards me, slowly because of the bruises on her body. The fake-me had evaporated into smoke again and surrounded us.

“You are the real Angel Blossom?” Celestia asked me. I nodded, not being able to talk due to the shock. “Well then, Angel, will you help us?” Celestia reached down to me and touched my horn with hers. “Angel, you probably have not realized this yourself, but you are also one of the Elements of Harmony.”

My eyes widened as a necklace found its way around my neck.

“The Element of Courage. You have the strength to defeat them, Angel.” Princess Celestia stood back again as the smoke took a form before my eyes. Nightmare Moon stood before me, but this time I was not scared. My eyes stood fierce as I straightened my back and put my hooves solidly on the ground.

“You won’t scare me anymore, Nightmare Moon.” The night mare just laughed and stepped up to me. This time I didn’t back up. I stood straight and looked the mare in the eyes. She grinned. Darkness surrounded me and only Nightmare Moon and I were in sight. On the other side of the darkness I could hear voices, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“You’re persistent little girl, but know one thing. We won’t lose again.” With that she disappeared together with the surrounding darkness. I knew a battle would come, but I had other things to think about now. I, a human, had been accepted here as a pony and became the seventh element. I looked down to the necklace. A green, upside down droplet was in the center of the golden necklace.

“Angel Blossom. Only you can defeat them. Good luck.” Celestia and Luna flew up into the air and went back to Canterlot. The main six surrounded me with astonished looks on their faces. My ears lowered as they neared me, getting scared of the approaching group. But instead of the usual bullying, they gave me a big hug.

“You can do it Angel.” Twilight said. I smiled. I’ve never felt like this before. To have friends so close is the best thing in life. To be loved is a great feeling. I’m finally where I belong. The images of my parents and other people I have known disappearing to the back of my mind and forgotten. Smiling I realized what I’ve missed. Now my only task is to defeat those villains, even if it would cost me my life. I will not let them have Equestria.

I will win.

Comments ( 11 )

cup of thee....

hum last I know even the British write tea like that.... not the way you wrote it

and now time to negatively review this story because let's face it, there's nothing good about this chapter. I am going to use my good old reviewing system I designed for the story: "When worlds collide"

1. It's rushed, WAY too rushed, It feels like 3-4 chapters in one and it's a short chapter already (-2)
2. Luna has LOST the third person talking so she shouldn't keep saying "we" (-1)
3. Deus Ex, Angel is a Mary Sue and Celestia KNEW it right off the bat? (-2)
4. hum.... seeing as how there are only 6 elements of Harmony, shouldn't this story have the alternate universe tag.... (0) (I dont penalize for THAT)
5. Twilight miraculously has a book explaining what the sphere is, where to find it and she discovers this intel? seems NOT legit.... (-3)
6. talking about the sphere.... why you no explain how Twilight broke it?(-1)

Chapter score: -9, wow you actually got a worse score than any single chapter of WWC... You seriously need to put more work on this story, sure I can understand from you rushing it that you are probably thinking of ending it quickly, but it's not a reason to drop quality fully down the drain....

oh and from now on, any new chapter of this story will see me reviewing it with this system unless I figure it's perfectly neutral.

640988 Alright, I don't mind critic really, but what do I have to do now? Should I change it or totally rewrite it? I'm just not sure to be honest. I was already doubting about this chapter, but I decided to just go with it, but I guess it wasn't that good :raritycry: Haha, sorry. Anyway, so do you have any tips for me then? maybe???

Axz

hm angel beaing the 7th element didn't expect that, you are quite good at plot twists ill give you that.

As for this chapter i thought it was quite confusing, and plane weird and i agree whit>>640988 i think you dropped the ball on this chapter.
but one flawd chapter doesn't = a dead story

641089

what's done is pretty much already done, basically what I suggest you to do is to continue with your previous train of thought but add more to the story and build up to what will happen, this chapter is already pretty much unredeemable but it doesn't mean your future chapters are unredeemable as well,

and now as for tips I can give:
Luna, even though she had like only 4 lines in the season 2 finale, she had learned to use the first-person when talking, sure she may have some returns to her original speech patterns as those are kinda hard to lose (I know as I'm stuck with mine forever now) but have her use pronouns like "I" more often.

the rushed feeling: that, I can't really help, I understand that it may be a lack of ideas that forced you into condensing what could have happened in 3 chapters seeing as it would be bad to release one chapter of 500 words eery few days

Deus Ex: well.... that, I really can't help, once you give an element to a Character, it gotta stay, you can't decide to retcon without retconning the entire chapter as people will remember about that, but in future stories, if you have one of your OCs get an Element, at least make sure there's a buildup to the character getting the element, right now, Angel has the element of courage and yet, she has not really shown any courageous quality... that's the kind of thing that makes the elements a bad plot choice. I suggest that in the later chapters, ANgel questions herself as to why she got the element of courage and shows acts of courage so that the element can actually "synchronize" (I guess you saw what happened in Episode 28 when the Bearers tried to defeat Discord when not synchronized)

the book thingie:she has read ALL the books in her library at least twice.... that's Twilight Sparkle for you so this book shouldn't be there (ok, the Supernatural book also had the same kind of problems about it but Twilight could have just completely overlooked it the previous times when she read her library, but a book about Unnown Equestria places look just like what Twilight might enjoy reading sometimes)

and the bubble... all you said was that Twilight had an idea onhow to break it but you didn't show us how she did, unless it is denied by the canon you can make up almost anything you want, heck I wouldn't have even minded if the spell seemed "wow convenient" (Ok I more than likely would have but I probably wouldn't have penalized)

and I think that's that

...You know? That's the kinda thing that needs foreshadowing, bro. That kinda felt like it came out-of-nowhere.

First of all this is your fanfic so you can write anything that you want, I've read a lot of stories with awkward's twists, the plot is very interesting but take it a little more slow :twilightsheepish:

Let me tell you some tips that can help in this situation if you choose to rewrite it

1-If Angel can speak with closest one's like Twilight why don't use it at advantage to find him
2-If the sphere has 24 hours of air, maybe Angel starts to feel the suffocation
3-Breaking the sphere need a synchronicity between emotions to open it (Discord can try to gain time poisoning his mind with his past)
4-I suppose that Nightmare Moon is inside on Luna's subconscious so Chrysalis can be the fake Angel and release it but Luna will try resist to gain the control over the dark side while Celestia fights Chrysalis in a more balanced fight (not the same power from the wedding episode)
5-Maybe yes, maybe not Angel got some extra powers from the villains but his fears didn't let him to use it so the courage beats at the end (the extra gift that needed to free the villains can be used to seal them again)
6-Discord statue can be the last stronghold if Celestia is beaten and Nightmare Moon gain the control (temporally)
7-This is optional but if the three villains combine their powers, The Elements of Harmony can only retain them for a short time, a second or third time Angel confront them and use the spell to finish them

"a cup of thee."
The fuck is "thee"?
Seventh element of harmony? Get the fuck out of here, that was a cop out lazy man's ending.

643131 Okay, you can criticize, but at least be the tiniest bit decent when you do. :ajbemused:

839899 sorry but ya i agree with trollestia that was a cop out but he/she could have phrased it better:facehoof:

DEAD AF Rest In Peace to this bitch

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