JellyDrivex64
Joined 10th Apr, 2012 ·
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Not good to write a story in English when you present it poorly.
img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/BostonFaninMichigan/notiger.jpg
Agh! You can't even get the names right! The punctuation's terrible, and it's just... Agh!
sir, get someone to preread, "fix mistakes"
you have a great story here, all you need is an editor.
Holy. Fucknuggets.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/xkAYB.gif
The description is a huge run-on sentence!!!!!!!
WHY?! WHY?! JUST. WHY?!?!
I'm gonna call the grammar police on you.
You really need to re-write the whole thing, not only is the grammer awful but the story is too fast moving and the writing in general isn't that great
I haven't even read the story, but judging by the other comments here and the appauling grammar in the description, I'll give it a miss.
*After becoming brave enough to read the damn thing*
"WARNING: i have bad grmmer and typing and also some english even though its my only langauge i know :3 and i'm not having applebloom or applejack say Yall alot theyll talk normal"
...............................
i.imgur.com/AjleR.gif
MY EYES! THEY BLEED!!!!
Hi everypony what do you think about my new deskription?
Hi everypony what do you think about my new deskription?
664383
665385
After seeing the horrors of the Ranger fic.
Yours looks fucking ASTOUNDING.
All you need is an editor. Yes. All you need is an editor!
Is English your native language?
Hahahah, oh my god, I love this.
666710 yes it is but i'm bad at english and in elementry school i had to take speech class. trust me i'm like this speech in real life
ok not too bad seen worse and you say your in elementary?
ok that explains it
its a great concept for a story and it would shed light on scoot BUT
you need to rewrite it i CAN be a god story just need to pace yourself some more
take time and think it out
try not to put too many things into a sentence you could of easily made this whole chapter about her sleeping in the club house/them fallowing her.
give more detail
make it longer and dont do anything else until it sounds good to you
all in all it has potential to be a great story but needs work on it.
668170 no WHEN i was in elementry when i exited 3rd grade i had to leave (even though i still need it) I do think about my story but when i over think it and when i actually write it, it sounds weird even though I thonk about it and about detail i try better in the 2nd chapter which also i'm ganna make it so i get more detail in but when i do it feels i give too much until i re-read the entire chapter (which i forgot to do for this)
The story is not original and your grammar (or in your terms grmmer) is really really bad... and those capital letters dude that is just horrible (sweetie Belle)
Please re-read your stuff before you post, an eight year old could fix the mistakes you made
669655 First thing is (where is Love and tolerate) and i know i have bad grammar and i did re-read over it and fix alot of it already i am crap at english and also some of my keyboard keys are broken so sometimes they work and sometimes they for some reason get stuck for a second and click it twice without me knowing(it was instead of Scootaloo it was scootallo and sweetie bell)
maybe this won't be so bad...
"I fell alsleep."
...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/070/111/halolz-dot-com-nope.avi.gif
673785
I am just saying to re-read it before you post. okay i may have over reacted a bit earlier, I'm sorry for that, but just re-read it good or get yourself a proof reader to help you with it. I also had troubles with the grammar in my first fic, and English isn't even my native language.
But about the story... there are a lot of scootaloo orphan fics going around and are just getting lame sooo...
And again sorry, I should have watched with what i said. here have a thumbs up as sorry gift :)
AHHHHHHH
MY AIZ DEY bLEED!!!!!
......and...uh.....zzzzz
675945 it's okay there are worst people on the internetz anyway it's my faveriote type of FimFiction exept my little dashie stories
676491 What's so bad about it?
[youtube=m_mDTLphIVY]
That is my only complaint
and now die a horrible death!
[youtube=xECx-42Wlho]
@alphex
683884 Well that's Fancypants of you!
I warned you didn't I? hmmmmm?
693685 please take my complaint has help e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png
691104 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
693690 Compliment i speak english but i am bad at spelling and speaking alot!
693807 i meant to get a proof reader dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png
693717 how you got luna troll face?
793726 huh? magic *snort snort*
Ill PM you a link later on
This fan-fiction wasn't too bad. I kinda like the idea of the story so far but make sure next time you get someone who is good at english to read and fix up the errors in the story.
925752 Don't worry until i get someone who will, I will now double check my work and i also have been doing that with my 2nd fic personally I like my 2nd fic more both by story and in grammer.
You need an editor! That almost killed me! In any case, I thought it was a nice story.
1283609 Did chapter 3 almost killed you cause that is how i write now but chp 1 and 2 was my 1st tries to even write and i do have a editor but right now he hasnt done anything yet he was busy and he now will edit some stuff but he is only going to edit the stuff im going to write for now which is "Scootaloo's Double Secret" and "A Time Lord in Pink"
1284578 You show severe contempt for my life don't you? Edit your comments too. (I enjoy your writing but that grammar is just painful.)
1336801 I have a idea for the story but for some reason it is hard to put into words //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/eenope.png