The Seeding is on. Humanity has spread out among the stars, determined to find a new home, to get away from their dying world and extend humanity to the heavens. When one colony settles on Equestria, just how will human and ponykind react?
I'm just... a bit confused over how Luna knows so much about rapid-fire weaponry to be able to detect them like that, or to even know what a pistol is... Otherwise I'm good. Keep it up.
5340569 The story does have the Alternate Universe tag.
When I read a story where firearms are recognized I usually like to think that Griffons would have developed a basic flintlock. Something along those lines anyway, after all Pinkie does have her party cannon.
Yay, this updated! For some time already have I lost my hope, it is good to be wrong sometimes.
Still, I too find it odd how Luna learned so much about humans (and especially their weapons, suits, technology etc.) with only a glance. Spy Mistress or not, these things take considerable time, especially when designed in a completely alien manner. And now I have a feeling she will learn everything in the dream scape because "why not, she is the Princess of Dreams". Naturally it's not a bad thing, just in my opinion slightly overused and kind of "lazy".
David snorted at that, shaking his head ruefully, "Hey, if we can outrun radiated Taliban soldiers and climb a glassified desert wall, all while getting accurate scans of the ruins of Mecca, then we can handle a little deep freeze and alien chase!"
......Yea I guess they can handle aliens after dealing with something like that...
But perhaps charging right in like her sister was the wrong approach. This called for a... finer touch.
I hope you don't plan on taking the 'Celestia's a paranoid bitch route.' If you want her to cause some conflict, there are ways to do it without making her panicky.
Brilliant little story, and i hope it will grow, i do have the new Civ game and won't lie, it's an idea i played around too. It's nice to see such story being made :)
Hmmm... I hope Luna won't be able to pull some dream lolmagic and just learn everything that way. That would be lazy writing IMO.
Luna recognizing firearms and their type right away? I don't know, unless this is at least a few months into the future after the end of Nightmare Moon, I have a hard time believing she would be able to identify any kind of advanced technology, magical or otherwise.
Unless she didn't become Nightmare Moon in this universe or military tech didn't advance significantly during her absence and they already had all that stuff.
I'm also looking forward to seeing how you'll deal with the whole "raising the sun and moon" issue. The ability to move actual stellar objects is hilariously broken in any kind of serious sci-fi scenario and I can't see how it would fit in thematically with the story so far.
Overall, this looks a story I need to watch. It's certainly off to a good start.
Could you do something different with this story element. Either is Luna unable to read the minds of the humans because their aliens or have them arrest the Princess for stealing information. This is the ARC, an American Corporation after all.
You should use original units of your own making. ARC should have the Infiltrator, an elite agent with stealth abilities.
Do they have a starting affinity? If not, what affinity are you going towards? It would be amazing if you mix it up like having a Supremacy affinity with a little bit of Purity. Cyborgs + Big Guns = AWESOME!
Are you going to incorporate other Equestrian races in your story?
Marines vs Minotaurs! (Though we all know how its going to end)
5340588 the author is lazy to come up with something that makes "PERFECT" sense, so he/she went "hey i'm a magical pony princess and i know all about you because......."magic"
and luna "knows" about spy drones? really? lazy,lazy,lazy
5341452 It's two chapters in. Barely anything of Equestria has been touched upon. Same as technological sensors could read things remotely, why can't magical ones do the same? Or Equestria have awareness of reasonably comparable concepts allowing recognition of things? Wait a few chapters, then we'll see more than through the keyhole of what's going on.
Sometimes I really wanna break out the ol' shotgun of patience...
You found a alien race what should our colony do? __ slay the aliens, we need the space and the resources (1 level of purity) __ capture the alien and study them for our improve ourself (1 level of superiority) X heal her and avoid conflict (1level of harmony)
5341452 Does it make perfect sense? Undoubtedly. Can it still be lazy, despite making sense? Absolutely. A situation like this just always leaves me with this feeling of being robbed from a promising plot point. Language, cultural, ideological or technological/magical differences are theoretically present but instantly swept under the rug. The infamous issue of everyone speaking English, the ever present translation spell or the easy dream scenes being the prime examples. They are not bad things by any means, the author might have more important points to focus on but they always strike me when they appear.
That is the reason I have a slight with Luna. For what we know now, she simply learned those things out of thin air. It wouldn't have been so noticeable if, like Asheram wrote, she was making references to the past knowledge. Or perhaps making assumptions based on what she knows. She didn't do that though, from a momentary glance she started stating facts about never before seen alien creature and it's technology. All hand waved with the simplest of explanations: being magic. I do underline again - not a flaw, simply an easy way out.
It's little, but in my opinion noticeably present.
5341125 Color me interested, I do wonder now where she got all this knowledge from
Loving this so far. I'm guessing that equestrian society has little to no electricity, instead compensating with magical based variants that can accomplish much of the same concepts that humanity has developed via electricity. Though, based on what has been seen of MLP, their magic based creations has yet to develop a method for mass production of products, focusing rather with quality over quantity.
The question is how will the ponies react when humans want to change(purity)/adapt(Harmony)/upgrade(Supremacy) their world
because if humans want to be supremacists then that objective is to shed the organic form in order to upload the human/pony conscious to a mainframe of super-computers which sounds like a reverse conversion bureau story
or be puritans and change the world in order to make way for humans which would involve the erasing or encasement of equian sub species or slaving the ponies/gryphons/dragons/ect
And maybe do probably the obvious one Harmonists and change human genetic code to gain arcane abilities/natural flight and doing what humans do best in a situation....adapt
When are we going to see the other seven factions come into play? I don't know about you guys, but I'm personally hoping for a Heinlein-esque Brasilia, or Franco-Iberia with a Brave New World style Supremacy society.
Its a good thing that Luna did not approach them right now. If the colonization team was serious about at least trying for peaceful contact, the recon teams should have been given standing orders to not open fire until they had sustained casualties. The loss of a recon team, while regrettable, would be infinity preferable to accidentally starting a war with a civilization that vastly outnumbers your own and have no idea what capabilities they have.
I am looking forward to Luna making first contact on her own terms
5343256 Ok, but could you use some other armour style/design like the AHE (Ancient Human Empire from Halo) powered armour aesthetics for your main human colony powered armour (Not asking for the actual armour, just the appearance of it)? That armour I showed needs some love and fan-service to spread it's awesome looks to the ignorant readers of the world! Besides, it's epic!
Really like what you've done with Luna. Really gives the impression of a powerful and experienced individual. You're getting my hopes up with that sort of writing.
Nanites! NANITES! What!? That's a tier 4 technology in Beyond Earth. Its a requirement for Purity victory. If you want to make a story with humans having tech like nanites then sure, whatever, but don't just slap Beyond Earth on it for the sake of it. (I'm gonna sound like such a jerk)
And Luna somehow learns all that shit about the humans tech and can then constantly monitor them wherever they go because "magic?" Yeah that is one of those things some authors do that I absolutely despise.
Not that I know anything about Beyond Earth, or the Civ series as a whole (come at me, bronies), but I really like this story. Got to get me some humans in Equestria, even better in the first few chapters when everything's all mysterious and first contact is yet to be made.
5340635 Ponies live in world inhabitet by large group of dragons. Canon and firearms technology is necesity to defend against dragons. I bet ponies know firearms and canons for very very long time.
5343848 Actually it kinda does, if you're discovering nanite technology, or any technology, it means you didn't have it before.
And Luna may have had many years to work on her magic, but she still shouldn't have been able to do all that, that wasn't any skillful usage, that was just OP magic.
Well while I was and still am interested in this story, I hate to say that this chapter kinda ruined it for me. Why you ask?...the OPness of it. I mean with one magical scan Luna knows everything now? Foreign/alien advanced unknown technology and its like..."oh this is a spy probe, let me just scan Trixie here...oh I detect nano technology, better do another magical scan and oh now I see the aliens, they have light bending armor and a laser rifle and a pulse pistol...ill just use magic again and now I'm magically tracking them". I mean whats next? "Ill just magically reprogram the nanites to transmit their signal and..oh now I have magic access to their computers, I'll just magically download all these files now". Not to sound too harsh but it could of been done better with less OPness. Such as Luna could of scanned and just detected them close by but not able too see them and detect some kind of energy from their weapons but not know what it is right off the bat down to the make and model. Or scanned Trixie and feel something new or foreign in her body instead of just jumping to "oh its nanites and laser rifles and light bending armor". Because now with that theres no point in having to explain anything about the technological difference or any other mysteries between the two races. Having to explain the unknown technological differences vs. unknown magic between the two could of been some great story there that just doesn't fit any more. With that said (and sorry if it sounds harsh, I'm not trying to be) it's still a good story though so far, I'll definitely still be reading and anticipating the next chapter, I just hope the rest of the story isn't as OP as this chapter is making it out to be. Sorry, OP stuff can sometimes bug me when not done right, or is TOO OP.
5343252 then that would completely separate all diverse groups which would cause a dysfunctional government and the ARC would become the A, the R, and the C
Yes. So much yes right now.
I'm just... a bit confused over how Luna knows so much about rapid-fire weaponry to be able to detect them like that, or to even know what a pistol is...
Otherwise I'm good. Keep it up.
Alright, I'm ready for the next chapter.
5340569 The story does have the Alternate Universe tag.
When I read a story where firearms are recognized I usually like to think that Griffons would have developed a basic flintlock. Something along those lines anyway, after all Pinkie does have her party cannon.
Yay, this updated! For some time already have I lost my hope, it is good to be wrong sometimes.
Still, I too find it odd how Luna learned so much about humans (and especially their weapons, suits, technology etc.) with only a glance. Spy Mistress or not, these things take considerable time, especially when designed in a completely alien manner. And now I have a feeling she will learn everything in the dream scape because "why not, she is the Princess of Dreams". Naturally it's not a bad thing, just in my opinion slightly overused and kind of "lazy".
Still waiting impatiently for more!
Harmony shall be OP; xenomass be with you.
I would advise Equestria not to trust the ARC. Shifty bastards.
5340587 Touché. You have a good point there and I suppose I just would like to see more direct references to where she got her knowledge. Something like: "A device suspiciously similar to recent minotaur technology, a miniaturized cannon that was wielded by hand. A pistol, if she remembered the name correctly."
I just think it'd make the transition to this new 'verse a bit more smooth.
No worries, you can make it up to us by putting out the next chapter tomorrow!
Well, one can hope..
5340635 *shifty grin* Don't worry! I have my reasons, trust me.
5340754 Now I am curious. I was already eagerly looking forward to the next chapter but now even more so.
......Yea I guess they can handle aliens after dealing with something like that...
I hope you don't plan on taking the 'Celestia's a paranoid bitch route.' If you want her to cause some conflict, there are ways to do it without making her panicky.
Aaah more please!
What they know what a gun is hmm very interesting
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Also...
5340754 You and me both.
Hopefully such actions help their cause rather than hinder it.
Brilliant little story, and i hope it will grow, i do have the new Civ game and won't lie, it's an idea i played around too. It's nice to see such story being made :)
Hmmm... I hope Luna won't be able to pull some dream lolmagic and just learn everything that way. That would be lazy writing IMO.
Luna recognizing firearms and their type right away? I don't know, unless this is at least a few months into the future after the end of Nightmare Moon, I have a hard time believing she would be able to identify any kind of advanced technology, magical or otherwise.
Unless she didn't become Nightmare Moon in this universe or military tech didn't advance significantly during her absence and they already had all that stuff.
I'm also looking forward to seeing how you'll deal with the whole "raising the sun and moon" issue. The ability to move actual stellar objects is hilariously broken in any kind of serious sci-fi scenario and I can't see how it would fit in thematically with the story so far.
Overall, this looks a story I need to watch. It's certainly off to a good start.
5341123 ^______^ Don't worry, all will be explained, in time.
5341125 Yikes! That was fast! xD
I'm looking forward to it!
5341127 I'm on my lunch break at work, doing some work on Rise. :)
5341128 Good luck with that, then. Happy writing!
Great, and very much worth the wait.
Ooh, I love it when each side observes the other without realizing it!
aliens
Blood for the Blood Cot! Skulls for the Skull Campfire!
th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/052/0/1/you_re_going_to_love_me__commission__by_banblade-d5vqlit.png
(clots)
5341128 "See you tonight, my guests."
Could you do something different with this story element. Either is Luna unable to read the minds of the humans because their aliens or have them arrest the Princess for stealing information. This is the ARC, an American Corporation after all.
You should use original units of your own making. ARC should have the Infiltrator, an elite agent with stealth abilities.
Do they have a starting affinity? If not, what affinity are you going towards? It would be amazing if you mix it up like having a Supremacy affinity with a little bit of Purity. Cyborgs + Big Guns = AWESOME!
Are you going to incorporate other Equestrian races in your story?
Marines vs Minotaurs! (Though we all know how its going to end)
5340588
the author is lazy to come up with something that makes "PERFECT" sense, so he/she went "hey i'm a magical pony princess and i know all about you because......."magic"
and luna "knows" about spy drones? really? lazy,lazy,lazy
5341452 Or I have a plan for this story to take involving arcano tech. ;)
5341452 It's two chapters in. Barely anything of Equestria has been touched upon. Same as technological sensors could read things remotely, why can't magical ones do the same? Or Equestria have awareness of reasonably comparable concepts allowing recognition of things? Wait a few chapters, then we'll see more than through the keyhole of what's going on.
Sometimes I really wanna break out the ol' shotgun of patience...
Could you please have the members of ARC use these suits of armour since they seem epic and are made by humans! Just change the helmet because that is interchangeable but the actual armour should be kept though!
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121119010442/halo/images/5/5f/H4-Concept-PreHuman-Armor.jpg
halopedia.org/images/c/cb/H4-Terminal-PreHuman-Death.jpg
Also do the drones used look like any of these?
gamesetwatch.com/halo4.3.jpg
matthewlichy.com/images/ODST/013_drone.jpg
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130908235926/halo/es/images/5/5b/H4-Concept-Sentinel-01.jpg
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090314171752/halo/images/8/81/Forerunner_Sentinel_Boss.jpg
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2011/226/2/5/25df926229f03b2a7d5bcdc037fbd79a-d46hgkd.jpg
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080521233630/halo/images/a/a9/Sentinel_firing_beam_by_PierceHart.jpg
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101017124056/halo/images/2/2c/Onyx_sentinel2.jpg
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101017123920/halo/images/9/9d/Onyx_sentinel.jpg
5341469 Advanced arcane tech?? That sounds completely amazing. Thou shalt write another chapter, naive. Lol
You found a alien race what should our colony do?
__ slay the aliens, we need the space and the resources (1 level of purity)
__ capture the alien and study them for our improve ourself (1 level of superiority)
X heal her and avoid conflict (1level of harmony)
5341452
Does it make perfect sense? Undoubtedly. Can it still be lazy, despite making sense? Absolutely. A situation like this just always leaves me with this feeling of being robbed from a promising plot point. Language, cultural, ideological or technological/magical differences are theoretically present but instantly swept under the rug. The infamous issue of everyone speaking English, the ever present translation spell or the easy dream scenes being the prime examples. They are not bad things by any means, the author might have more important points to focus on but they always strike me when they appear.
That is the reason I have a slight with Luna. For what we know now, she simply learned those things out of thin air. It wouldn't have been so noticeable if, like Asheram wrote, she was making references to the past knowledge. Or perhaps making assumptions based on what she knows. She didn't do that though, from a momentary glance she started stating facts about never before seen alien creature and it's technology. All hand waved with the simplest of explanations: being magic. I do underline again - not a flaw, simply an easy way out.
It's little, but in my opinion noticeably present.
5341125
Color me interested, I do wonder now where she got all this knowledge from
Loving this so far. I'm guessing that equestrian society has little to no electricity, instead compensating with magical based variants that can accomplish much of the same concepts that humanity has developed via electricity. Though, based on what has been seen of MLP, their magic based creations has yet to develop a method for mass production of products, focusing rather with quality over quantity.
Ok, my interest for this story is PEAQUED.
The question is how will the ponies react when humans want to change(purity)/adapt(Harmony)/upgrade(Supremacy) their world
because if humans want to be supremacists then that objective is to shed the organic form in order to upload the human/pony conscious to a mainframe of super-computers which sounds like a reverse conversion bureau story
or be puritans and change the world in order to make way for humans which would involve the erasing or encasement of equian sub species or slaving the ponies/gryphons/dragons/ect
And maybe do probably the obvious one Harmonists and change human genetic code to gain arcane abilities/natural flight and doing what humans do best in a situation....adapt
When are we going to see the other seven factions come into play? I don't know about you guys, but I'm personally hoping for a Heinlein-esque Brasilia, or Franco-Iberia with a Brave New World style Supremacy society.
5342634
Implying true humans wouldn't choose all three.
5342693 I'm probably not going to use all seven. I will more than likely use SOME, however.
5341613 And please remember, they may be FUNDED by ARC, but they aren't being run by it.
Its a good thing that Luna did not approach them right now. If the colonization team was serious about at least trying for peaceful contact, the recon teams should have been given standing orders to not open fire until they had sustained casualties. The loss of a recon team, while regrettable, would be infinity preferable to accidentally starting a war with a civilization that vastly outnumbers your own and have no idea what capabilities they have.
I am looking forward to Luna making first contact on her own terms
5343256 Ok, but could you use some other armour style/design like the AHE (Ancient Human Empire from Halo) powered armour aesthetics for your main human colony powered armour (Not asking for the actual armour, just the appearance of it)? That armour I showed needs some love and fan-service to spread it's awesome looks to the ignorant readers of the world! Besides, it's epic!
Really like what you've done with Luna. Really gives the impression of a powerful and experienced individual. You're getting my hopes up with that sort of writing.
Nanites! NANITES! What!? That's a tier 4 technology in Beyond Earth. Its a requirement for Purity victory. If you want to make a story with humans having tech like nanites then sure, whatever, but don't just slap Beyond Earth on it for the sake of it. (I'm gonna sound like such a jerk)
And Luna somehow learns all that shit about the humans tech and can then constantly monitor them wherever they go because "magic?" Yeah that is one of those things some authors do that I absolutely despise.
Not that I know anything about Beyond Earth, or the Civ series as a whole (come at me, bronies), but I really like this story.
Got to get me some humans in Equestria, even better in the first few chapters when everything's all mysterious and first contact is yet to be made.
5340635
Ponies live in world inhabitet by large group of dragons. Canon and firearms technology is necesity to defend against dragons. I bet ponies know firearms and canons for very very long time.
5343437
That doesn't mean they didn't use nanits before. It could mean they developed new generation of nanites.
Luna had thousands years to polish her magic abilties.
5343848 Actually it kinda does, if you're discovering nanite technology, or any technology, it means you didn't have it before.
And Luna may have had many years to work on her magic, but she still shouldn't have been able to do all that, that wasn't any skillful usage, that was just OP magic.
Well while I was and still am interested in this story, I hate to say that this chapter kinda ruined it for me. Why you ask?...the OPness of it. I mean with one magical scan Luna knows everything now? Foreign/alien advanced unknown technology and its like..."oh this is a spy probe, let me just scan Trixie here...oh I detect nano technology, better do another magical scan and oh now I see the aliens, they have light bending armor and a laser rifle and a pulse pistol...ill just use magic again and now I'm magically tracking them". I mean whats next? "Ill just magically reprogram the nanites to transmit their signal and..oh now I have magic access to their computers, I'll just magically download all these files now". Not to sound too harsh but it could of been done better with less OPness. Such as Luna could of scanned and just detected them close by but not able too see them and detect some kind of energy from their weapons but not know what it is right off the bat down to the make and model. Or scanned Trixie and feel something new or foreign in her body instead of just jumping to "oh its nanites and laser rifles and light bending armor". Because now with that theres no point in having to explain anything about the technological difference or any other mysteries between the two races. Having to explain the unknown technological differences vs. unknown magic between the two could of been some great story there that just doesn't fit any more. With that said (and sorry if it sounds harsh, I'm not trying to be) it's still a good story though so far, I'll definitely still be reading and anticipating the next chapter, I just hope the rest of the story isn't as OP as this chapter is making it out to be. Sorry, OP stuff can sometimes bug me when not done right, or is TOO OP.
Trixie + Healing + Petting = +1 Pony Advocate of Humanity. Must pet more ponies...
5343252
then that would completely separate all diverse groups which would cause a dysfunctional government and the ARC would become the A, the R, and the C