• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 12th, 2014

Maple Sugar


T
Source

For as long as she can remember, Cadance has been shadowed by a filly who looks suspiciously like her deceased mother. But when she and the filly finally speak, Cadance begins to realize that the filly is somepony else altogether, a pony with a secret only Cadance can solve. But whats a filly to do when her only clue is a few strange pictures?

Going out of the country to visit family, so no updating until I'm back!

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 13 )

Isn't the twin brother thing a part of a clopfic by one terrible writer

Ooh, dark... I like

Interesting concept. I also read the post hat I know inspired that bit of headcanon. I just hope that when this continues, it ends more in heartwarming reconciliation instead of a grimdark, mindrapey personality takeover. I don't want to see any much bad happen to my new favorite semi-goddess.

@OriginalNameHere
I can guarantee you that isn't where this idea came from (at least, for this fic.)

@OriginalNameHere
I am 100% certain that isn't where I got the idea :D It was something someone said on dA.

@Goholite
Yay! :yay: I'm glad you do!

I'm for waiting to read this, I was busy. This chapter was a interesting interlude to the main story. This chapter was important because it characterized Shining Armor and the other characters. I finally know where this story is on the timeline. Keep up the good work.

This chapter is interesting enough. I sort of lost what happened with the undeveloped film though. Did she give it to Twilight, if so, why would Cadence give the only chance to see her long lost brother to a filly. Other than that nice chapter though. :twilightsheepish:

Hooray, a new chapter! A great read, as always.

Ok looking at your story for a second time I am going to give you my honest and total opinion. I am going to do it in the style of the Clint Eastwood movie, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

The Good: Your characters are all well defined and the plot is intriguing to say the least. The interactions between Cadence, Shining and Flor are all solid. Many of the descriptions, as well, are great. There were very few grammar mistakes.

The Bad: While the relations with Cadence Shining and Flor are solid the relationship with Cadence and her father is very flat and one dimensional. Her outburst at her father in this chapter is out of place.

The Ugly: Many of your characters just seem to go away and have no point. While Flor was good for revealing some of Cadence's character, she serves no other purpose. When she is gone, she is gone. Shining basically goes missing for at least two chapters. Why, why do these two characters do so little? They are the three characters in your description. Also, as I said earlier, why does Cadence give the only film of her brother to a filly?

I am sorry for being strict, I am just trying to help improve this story.

721744
No, thank you, that's all very helpful :D

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