This Time Tomorrow
I saw him enter; it was hard to miss. He had short brown hair that barely went down to his ears. It was a two-bit haircut, meaning that Scissors, a barber who I happened to know was homeless, would cut your mane and tail for a bit. The other bit was for the subway to get there. He had a high forehead, prominent cheekbones and a mouth that was just a little too wide for his face. Missing his two front teeth, he looked like a bum and even had that kind of smell that is synonymous to poverty, piss and bourbon. He didn’t wear any clothes, but by the way I’m describing him, you’d probably imagine him wearing a dirty flannel shirt and an old baseball cap.
He stood for a moment in the doorway getting his bearings. It was around four on a Thursday afternoon, which is as slow as it gets at The Drunken Horse. The lunch crowd was long gone and it was too early for the type of ponies who get drunk every night, wanting to forget their pasts and their mistakes. Myself included.
He took notice of my presence right away. I caught the threatening glint of red in his eyes from across the room. It threw me off, as a lump of trepidation caught in my throat. As I stared with wonder about his intentions, he stopped at the bar to reassure himself. And just when I thought it nerving, he took it upon himself to sit between the table I was occupying and the door.
“Mr. Ponetti? Do you know who I am?" He said.
“I know who you are. He called me. Have a seat."
He sat down opposite me, took out a cigarette and a box of matches, and then paused to ask if it was alright to smoke in here. I get asked that question more times than I would care to admit. I assured him that it was.
His voice wasn’t what I’d expected. It was quite soft, his accent from Manehattan. He was young, maybe a year or two older than me, which would put him in his mid-twenties.
The waitress Mare-lyn, came to the table while I was watching him. He ordered a glass of white wine and I ordered another chardonnay. I piled up my glasses from my previous orders into a leaning tower. It was amusing, but I’m sure it scared the crap out of poor Mare-lyn. She gave a tightly closed smile and walked away.
When the alcohol arrived, the pony in front of me put his hoof in his drink, and then put the hoof in his mouth. I stared strangely, and before I could ask the question, he said, “A little habit I picked up in Trottingham. Yeah, I got into a drinking contest with this light-weight. When he thought I wasn’t looking, he added some poison to my drink. Can you believe it? For a fifty bit bet? I was so pissed that I grabbed his face and smashed it through the table, not unlike this one. So now, I make sure that everything I drink isn’t poisoned or tainted in any way. I guess that’s a habit that I will take to my grave.”
I didn’t know how to respond. There was nothing crazy in his manner, but to hear this chilling story in such a nonchalant matter was off putting . Oh well, wouldn’t be my first time dealing with a maniac. I swallowed my drink without tasting it.
“I can probably guess why you are here.” I said.
“Your reputation is growing. One of the rising stars in this business.”
I couldn’t have disagreed more with him. Last night, I had the potential to become rich. I tricked one of the wealthiest mare’s in the city, Velvet Rose, into giving me 20,000 bits in exchange for her grandmother’s butterfly necklace. Except the necklace was a fake and I could have sold the real one for a lot more money. I threw it away in the Los Pegasus River instead. Maybe it was too much alcohol, messing with my common sense, or maybe I was just getting soft. The thought made me want to drown my sorrows in more chardonnay.
“I think you’re putting more faith in what Shadow said then you should. I don’t think he would recommend me for anything.”
“Oh, I asked for you by name. It just so happened that I knew him and he knew you and could put me in touch. See, I’m looking for somepony who is willing to help me with this … job I’m working on. It pays well. In and out.”
“I’m afraid I don’t do that kind of business.”
Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that the nameless pony in front of me was a contract killer? He was one of the most famous murderers west of the Mississippi. The rumors were that he killed the ambassador from the Griffon Kingdom only ten years ago. That meant he would have been fifteen or sixteen when he did the dirty deed. Now that is dedication to his job.
“You know what I am. What I do. Does it bother you?”
“Not particularly. I’m just more than a little hesitant to do it myself. It’s difficult to conceal a knife in my mouth. You have magic on your side.”
“But that’s not the only thing that matters. You have to have the guts, the know-how, and the intuition to pull it off. You also have to be smart. You graduated from Pranceton, right?”
That was true. I got accepted to Pranceton right after high school. But since I couldn’t afford it, I had to do some small jobs in order to pay my tuition. Besides my part-time job at the Hay Burger, I also ransacked ponies cottages, had one-night stands with prostitutes and stole their money while they were sleeping, and, of course, cheated on my taxes.
“What did you get your degree in?”
“Criminology.”
He laughed. “So you studied criminal behavior in order to become a better criminal? That’s genius!”
“We all have to learn something other than what teachers crammed down our throats in school. I just decided to make what I was learning useful in real life. My parents weren’t too proud of my decision, though.”
“I’ll bet.” He paused. “Look, this job pays out really well. It’s somepony who will not be missed. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say he is scum. Clockwork, his name is, raped a mare, and then beat her with a rusty pipe until her eyes gouged out of her head. Now she is emotionally scarred and blind. Her father wants me to bring Clockwork to him, so he can have a chat with him, so to speak. I’d gladly do it, but I’m afraid I have other commitments as of late. “
“So you’re just giving me this information out of the goodness of your heart?”
“Hardly. I take a 20% referral fee. But that’s all and for this job, it’s a great deal.”
“How much?”
“100,000 bits.”
My jaw hit the floor. That was more money than I ever dreamed of. Even after the nameless pony’s fee, I would still clear 80,000 bits. I could hire a butler and never have to cook again. Hell, I could probably buy the saloon we were in for that much money.
His horn flickered and wrote something on the back of a napkin. “That is where the scum is hiding. All you need to do is show up, beat him 'till he is senseless, and then call me. No matter what you decide, remember this. This time tomorrow, you can be rich. If you get smart, as I know you will, call me.”
He got up and walked away. I just stared at the napkin he wrote the address and phone number on. I could buy a lot of chardonnay for 80,000 bits. I could get a much better apartment, maybe even on Sunset Boulevard. I could probably retire on that amount, if I just stuck to my routine of drinking ten glasses of chardonnay a day and not doing much else.
But then I would have to deliver somepony to his death sentence. I wouldn’t kill him myself, but it would add up to the same thing. The estranged father would probably pull out his eyeballs and make Clockwork eat them. The images of Clockwork’s inevitable torture kept sticking in my mind. I knew that Clockwork probably deserved whatever he had coming his way, but I didn’t want to be the executioner or even the guard escorting him to his death. I never killed anypony in my life.
I was afraid. I was afraid because I didn’t know if I could trust myself to make the right decision. The stuff I've done and seen, I know I’m not innocent. But I’m not a murderer. Still, 80,000 bits was tempting. By this time tomorrow, I could be living in luxury. By this time tomorrow, I can hire a thousand prostitutes and have the greatest night of my life. By this time tomorrow, I could be nothing but a murderer.
I left the Drunken Horse and made my way downtown. I had to see an old friend, and her name was Midnight.
Stats
Page generated in 0.019 seconds
Total duration
640 users online
786,768 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Better.
I deleted my message to all of you. I have opened a blog in case anyone is interested. I'll try to update it daily and I'm sorry for the misconception.
A billion million trillion bits to all of you,
Matthew DePointe
P.S I love French names!
Yes, as said so many times in the past, this story has its shares of bad grammar. Even so, I enjoyed reading this story! Keep it up, pal
Excellent! But I did find something that needs to be attended to:
The word inside the brackets should be 'tuition'
Intuition is a feeling you get in your gut.
I'm loving this story, but don't rush yourself trying to keep an update schedule. Refined gems are more valuable than raw ones.
Interesting story you have going here. Definitely a few errors in spelling and grammar but an intriguing plot. Keep it up, I'm interested to see where this will go.
Well, you asked me to take a look at this, and I'm sorry this took so long, but here's my thoughts:
I enjoyed it. It's not my usual thing, so I can't really critique it as well as I like, but I enjoyed the noir atmosphere. If you want to improve, the only advice I can really give is keep writing and figure things out.
Awesome! And kill Clockwork! Kill him! Kill him! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Much netter than the last chapter I must say. Though you need to work on character to character dialogue. The narrative is exemplary. Very nior feel to it and is quite good. I can't wait for more. Have a moustache
I think it is good so far, but there are some places that can be fixed with better interpretation that make it more detailed.
Such as...
Instead, put it to this...
I think that will do some good, but I am not an expert. This is my opinion my friend. But so far so good.
A fairly captivating story. I feel like your chapters don't actually involve much. One thing happens really, with some small details about prior events.
But perhaps that's just the way it's meant to be. I've never been much into noir fiction before, not really my genre. But it's well written and concise, and flows fairly well. Can't see too many grammatical errors.