The Tenth Chapter Whereas The Battle Concluded
Chapter 10: Whereas The Battle Concluded
Ten chapters? Jeez, how long is this story anyway? How can you read this stuff? Look at what they’ve done so far. Trixie drops dead on Twilight’s porch, they eat pancakes, read books, watch Trixie put on a show, cook more food, swap bodies, Trixie makes out with a mirror, they have some awkward kiss, become best friends, and have a ridiculous pillow fight! All in one day! Can you really read this and say you’ve enjoyed it? Well, I won’t judge you. If you can read up to here and say, “Yeah, I’m reading this and I’m okay with it,” then you, reader, deserve a medal. And since there’s a bunch of you, I’m sorry to say that there aren’t enough medals to go around, since Trevor stole all of the replicas.
In fact, there’s only one medal. Its current location is resting around my neck-- Can’t catch me!
***
The Worn and Bamboozled Trixie became engulfed in a white light. Hordes of pillows clashed, ripped, and tore asunder, leaving their feathery innards to shower over the entire room. Twilight watched as her best friend was completely overwhelmed by the sheer abundance of fluffy projectiles. Shielding her eyes from the collision’s brilliant flash, she wondered if perhaps she had gone too far with the entire pillow fight. Trixie seemed to take it all just as seriously as she did, which made the egghead feel a little better about beating her. Then again, it was her intimidating, enormous collection of cushions that might have engaged Trixie’s competitive spirit. Either way, she had won the fight tonight, and it was time for some well deserved sleep.
Gazing back at the point of the feather blast, Twilight could see through the sprinkled pillow contents. She noticed the biggest pile of feathers indicating the central area where the blast happened, but did not see any sign of Trixie. Alarmed, she galloped over to the spot and began frantically kicking away at the piles, trying to locate the spot where the showmare might be. After exhausting every possible place around the explosion’s origin, her fears got the best of her. ‘What if her body couldn’t take the force of all those pillows at one time? I could have... No...’ her thoughts remained grounded to one theory. A hypothesis so dark that the tear ducts in her eyes immediately opened their flood gates.
Clear liquid flowing down each cheek, Twilight’s lower eyelids moved up in an attempt to hold the fluid in. With no sign of Trixie, however, there was no such way to suppress her sorrow. With her body too focused on producing tears, she sniffed and let out a small squeak while trying to inhale. Her air intakes were quick and plentiful, yet exhaling took ten times longer and included a quiet, choppy whine. She just couldn’t believe what she saw was true anymore, as if it was another dream; in this case, a nightmare. There was no way Twilight could think of that could argue a way for Trixie to escape her collapsed fortress of pillows. With hope being lost in the dark, regret filled the bookworm’s heart.
‘I shouldn’t have started this whole thing! Trixie said she wanted to leave and if I had let her... If only I had confessed my feelings for her, then something different could have happened, good or bad,' she thought painfully. Not finding an illusion through reality, Twilight continued to mourn over her love’s unknown fate. Suddenly, a familiar groan seeped into her ear, which made both of them perk up in response. Another small cry was heard to confirm her suspicions as she slowly turned her head around to capture the source of the noise. Out of the corner of her sight, she could already see a blur of an azure color. Her heart forgetting what a beat was for a second, her neck picked up speed, clarifying the smudged, cerulean blue color.
Of course, this vivid complexion only belongs to one unicorn, but Trixie wasn’t all blue at the moment. Parts of her figure were smudged with a burnt black. A dark grey puff of smoke escaped her lungs, her legs trembled, and she started mumbling nonsensically like a patient diagnosed with dementia. Her eyes started shifting in different directions, scanning the room. With a violent shake of her head, her mental state was reverted back to normal. Twilight could only watch Trixie for the moment as she contemplated how she could have possibly ended up a distance away of where the attack took place. ‘She appeared in a different location in a split second! That can only mean... Trixie teleported?’ wondered Twilight with an amazed stare.
Though it was simple for her to initiate a teleportation spell, she never expected that Trixie of all unicorns could pull it off. Her efforts in using higher levels of magic before always seemed to wear her out. Of course, this accomplished feat wasn’t without its consequences, seeing as her body was covered in soot. Still, from how she reacted to Trixie’s possible disintegration, this was an overwhelming relief. Her momentary lapse of reason had ended and her tear stained face met with leaks from her bottom eyelids once again. Looking back at her was a confident grin from The Great and Powerful Trixie who just evaded certain defeat; her boastful attitude was still intact.
“H-Hah! Trixie was able to copy your teleportation spell in just the nick of time!” she bragged, while deep inside, she actually had no clue how she triggered the spell, having little-to-no knowledge of how it really worked. Nonetheless, she luckily dodged Twilight’s trap and was now able to continue the fight she started. With Twilight’s energy dwindling, Trixie could move back to her former strategy and use the librarian’s weariness against her. Now all she needed was a pillow to combat her with. She turned her head left and right, looking past all the feathers on the floor to locate a singe cushion. Also knowing Twilight might try to ambush her if she found one first, Trixie distracted her with conversation.
“Now that Trixie has returned, she will def--” A squealing voice interrupted her.
“Trixie! You’re okay!” cried Twilight, running towards her best friend. Her tears were still flowing --out of happiness this time-- and a broad smile came across her face as she leaped towards her friend from the ease of her worries. In mid flight, Twilight could only think about how happy she was that her crush remained safe, and that they could just forget about the whole pillow fight. Her vision was suddenly blinded however, and the momentum of her body seemed to reverse in direction.
Whatever hit her head didn’t seem to cause any real harm. Though it was a soft impact, it still forced her jump to take an opposite path. Colliding with the hard wood floor, she opened her eyes to see the object that struck her face. In a blue aura, a pillow rose off of her while a showmare appeared over her. Apparently, Trixie still thought the battle was still ongoing.
“Haha, take that, Sparkle! Now you’re trapped and will have no choice but to surrender!” she exclaimed. When she said trapped, she was referring to how she sat over Twilight’s back legs to keep her bottom half from moving. Lifting the pillow she found in the air above her, she readied her next attack. Twilight, on the other hoof, was too distracted by her emotions to follow what Trixie was doing. She promptly sat up and threw her arms around the magician, pulling her back down to the ground in a crushing hug. The single pillow that Trixie carried dropped to the ground. Confused by the gesture, Trixie tried to figure out what exactly it meant.
‘She’s hugging Trixie as if she hadn’t seen her in years, but Trixie has been here the whole time. This must be some sort of trap! That’s it! Another trick schemed up by Twilight Sparkle. Though you won’t fool Trixie this time,’ she declared to herself. Planting her hooves on both sides of her clinging friend, she pushed herself up, struggling to break the lavender chains that grounded her. Trixie’s squirming made Twilight realize that her actions were immoral to the friendship she was trying to maintain with her. Having the showmare prying away from her, Twilight snapped her hooves back. The sudden release forced Trixie’s body to reel back halfway, yet she managed to catch herself before falling backwards.
Finding herself free from her foe’s tight grip, she lifted up the pillow she had dropped before. Raising the weapon over her head again, she wasted no time in preparing the final blow. She glanced back down at her victim’s face, only to see a thought-breaking expression. Looking more closely, she hadn’t noticed Twilight’s face was glistening from moisture coming from her eyes or that her mouth was gaping open in a regretful frown. Why had the mare made such a depressing look at her? ‘Is this just another trick? No... not even Twilight is that good of an actor,’ thought Trixie. This new understanding of what was going on eased the tense showmare as she lowered the pillow down to her side. Twilight finally spoke up to her with a nasally voice since her sinuses were still congested from her slight breakdown before.
“I’m sorry, Trixie. I don’t want to play anymore. I just...” she choked on her words, not knowing what to say or how to express how she felt. Not being able to find Trixie after her attack spooked her out of fighting. Finding that she was okay made Twilight feel a little better, yet she didn’t want the consequences of what happened first to become reality. Trixie, however, was beginning to figure it all out. Her sudden disappearance might have caused a bit of a misunderstanding. Well okay... a big misunderstanding, but looking at Twilight’s tear-stained face, it was easy to tell that she was really worried about Trixie. This isn’t the first time, either. The egghead showed concern for her after their re-acquaintance that very morning, and occasionally throughout the day.
Out of all those times, though, this was easily the worst Trixie has seen her. ‘Why would you cry over Trixie? Do you really think of her as your best friend? This just isn’t fair. You’re not fair, Twilight Sparkle!’ pondered Trixie. The latter of her thoughts referred to the battle they were still in. Showing that kind of face to Trixie drove her crazy. The pillow shot up into the air again as Trixie made a menacing glare at the mare below. Surprised with eyes widening, Twilight stared back, anticipating Trixie to strike her and claim victory. After a while she noticed Trixie had not really moved from her attack position. In fact, her scornful expression drooped to a melancholy one. Why wasn’t she finishing Twilight off? Actually, Trixie was too busy trying to hold back her own tears. As eager as she was to beat Twilight, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Comprehending what this all would end with, Trixie jerked her head back and eased it forward with a disappointed sigh. A straight, blank look on her face, she took the pillow she was holding and slammed it into her head. The soft smack to her cheek only made Trixie wince in preparation of a larger pain, but the blow to the head didn’t hurt at all. She tossed the cushion away and tapped into her inner actress. Twilight only watched in bewilderment while the showmare performed her melodramatic act of surrender. Putting her right front calf over her forehead and tilting her head back while doing so, Trixie wailed in a whimsical manner.
“Oh, you have defeated The Great and Powerful Trixie. Your powers are just too much for her, Twilight Sparkle!” she cried, pretending to collapse from exhaustion by falling over on top of Twilight, who reacted with a deep crimson hue across her muzzle. Trixie felt so silly and embarrassed, letting Twilight win the entire thing, yet she just couldn’t stand seeing her so upset over her. All she wanted was for her to be happy and grace her vision with that sweet, innocent smile. Committing metaphorical suicide seemed like the quickest and most satisfying way to comfort her crush. For some reason, she felt warm and there was a fluttering in her stomach as if she were embracing euphoria. What made her feel so good? Was it the light-hearted action she acted, or perhaps the consolation of Twilight that got her in such a dreamy mood?
She also questioned the second heartbeat she felt next to her own, picking up speed. In Trixie’s amusing show of self-destruction, she was distracted from what exactly she fell on top of. Out of the corner of her left eye she could see a familiar striped mane flowing on the ground to her side. Cautious, Trixie slowly pushed herself back up for a better view of the owner of said mane. There was no surprise here, however; it was obviously Twilight, yet Trixie wanted to believe otherwise. Looking down at her, Trixie saw her friend completely flushed with eyes wildly staring at her. It wasn’t long for the magician to perfectly mirror the expression back at her. She knew what she did was out of bounds for their friendship, even though their friendship had to be the weirdest she’s ever known.
Every hour of that day seemed to include one or two heart throbbing moments for them, like their relationship grew ten steps with each moment. Never did Trixie pay attention to how much their distances closed in, or what she was really doing in this situation for that matter. Her mind was blank and her heart caught in a moment. Afraid of saying something weird, her mouth only hung open a little, trembling to find the right words. Below her, Twilight found herself speechless as well. Trixie forfeited the fight for her, something she thought an arrogant mare like her couldn’t really do, especially since it was kind of tense on both of them. This made the blush spread over her face, painting it red.
Her heart was thumping against her chest and made it twitch against Trixie’s. Through her love and emotions, half of her wanted to pull her down and let their faces press passionately, yet the other half --being her brain-- didn’t want to do something hasty that she would regret. Nevertheless, her lavender hooves moved on their own, reaching for Trixie’s backside in order to pull her closer. Before she could accomplish her momentary desire, her logic spoke out first.
“You’re just a little bit heavy, Trixie,” her hooves changed trajectories and quickly covered up her mouth in a gasp. ‘Out of all the stupid, inconsiderate things I could have said, why did I say that?’ she frantically wondered. Trixie kept her gaze on Twilight, but she couldn’t stop her mouth from opening in shock. However, this was her opportunity to back out, which she did by jumping back and scrambling to her hooves. Her feelings were mixed with components of insulted, grateful, and disdain. The emotion she chose to show would be decided based upon how Twilight would act. Sitting up and leaning forward to stand on all fours, the bookworm immediately started to make amends of her mistake.
“I’m sorry, Trixie, that’s not what I meant to say! It was only that you were crushing my pelvis an-- ugh, No!” She stomped her right forehoof, frustrated with herself. Luckily, Trixie could perceive from Twilight’s stammering that she didn’t mean to offend her. With that in mind, she covered Twilight’s lips with her own hoof to prevent any further damage.
“It's alright, Twilight. Trixie's weight is strictly all muscle, so it's no surprise that she was a tad heavy for you," she boasted, using the hoof she silenced Twilight with to flex her leg muscles. Her statement melded with that justified gesture seemed to pull the laughter right out of the librarian. Trixie was extremely satisfied to see her friend showing one of her happier expressions. Unable to control her snickering, Twilight's infectious giggling eventually had the showmare join in with her. Though she stayed by her proclaimed facts, sharing a comedic moment with Twilight lifted the awkward pressure of the situation.
Soon they calmed simultaneously as their loud laughter transitioned into small chuckles. They finished with their gleeful fits and only gazed at each other with sincere smiles. With the pillow fight ending on such a good note, they could feel the atmosphere of the room uplifting. Twilight decided to speak first, lest the pause between them become awkward again.
"So... Maybe it's time we actually got to the sleeping part of the slumber party?" suggested Twilight with a sheepish grin. At that time, Trixie remembered that it was midnight the last time they looked at the clock. Glancing back at it now, it read one twenty-three in the morning, meaning the entire event lasted over an hour. Her eyelids feeling heavy, Trixie’s bones had a weary sensation with the desire to embrace a soft surface. She expressed her agreement to her friend as they made their way to the stairway leading up to the where the beds were.
"Come to think of it, Trixie is exhausted from all that fighting," commented Trixie as she began walking up the steps with her head lowered in fatigue. Along side her, Twilight perceived a similar depletion of her energy, although she was actually tired even before they tussled with pillows. She moved ahead of Trixie as she made way for her own bed near the end of the room’s upper level. Approaching her bed, Twilight’s head spun around to see her friend was still behind her. Trixie stopped once she found out she was still following the egghead. Before she could correct her mistake by heading for the other bed, Twilight moved her entire body to properly face the showmare. Staring at her quizically, Twilight had locked Trixie in a gaze.
“Something wrong, Trixie?” she asked as she leaned forward to study her love’s face. It was easy to see there was an anxious frown across her face, as if she had been caught doing something wrong. In actuality, Trixie wasn’t even paying attention to the fact she was still walking right behind her. The only reason she was nervous was because Twilight was looking at her profusely and it made her face glow a hot scarlet color. That and her voice was somewhat shaky when she spoke.
“N-Nothing! Nothing at a-all, Twilight! Trixie just blanked out, that’s all,” stammered Trixie, as she tried to gather her wits back. The statement should have put her friend at ease, but for some reason Twilight saw something that she wasn’t even aware that she was showing.
“Are you hiding something from me?” she inquired. If Trixie’s thoughts could make a sound, it would be an ear splitting scream. She was, in fact, hiding her feelings from Twilight, but there was no way she would spill the beans now.
“No, of course, not! Trixie would never hide anything. She assures you that Trixie has been perfectly honest with you the entire day,” she lied with a big assuring smile, her brows still lowered. Unfortunately, Twilight was only getting more suspicious as she only saw an uneasy unicorn with sweat beading down her face. How a simple mind blank-out shifted into a misunderstanding that secrets were being hidden, Trixie couldn’t figure out. Keeping that troubled smirk on her face, she could only wait for Twilight’s response while the non-existent spotlight on her got brighter. Twilight, who leaned closer in inspection of her friend, could see right through her. Of course, she didn’t want to be too prying of Trixie.
“Trixie...?” She said with a growling tone, implying that she wanted the truth. If Trixie wanted to get out of this interrogation before it could potentially hurt Twilight’s trust, she would need to tell the honest truth.
“Trixie is sorry, Twilight,” she apologized, her head in a sulk. Standing back up straight, Twilight had a surprised look on her face. Just what was Trixie not telling her? It’s not very often her friend would apologize to anypony. Putting a hoof up to her chin, she took a moment to count how many times Trixie has actually said such a thing to her. Surprisingly, she could recall at least five times of it occurring that day. So perhaps this is starting to become a habit for Trixie. Either way, Twilight listened in on her friend’s revelation.
“The truth is...” Trixie began, while Twilight could only stare in preparation of what the secret could possibly be. Lifting her head back up, the magician met those violet eyes with her own as she was ready to let her mouth move again.
“Trixie was just in some kind of daze, so she didn’t realize that she was following you, and I mean, you turned around so quickly that it sort of surprised Trixie, that’s all,” admitted Trixie, completely emptying her lungs which prompted her to inhale loudly to make up for it. Twilight’s head fell a bit while her expression turned sour in disappointment. All that built up hype as well as the adrenaline that kept her very much awake vanished with Trixie’s anticlimactic reasoning. ‘Then again, what was I expecting? It’s not like she was going to admit her love to me,’ she thought. With that mess out of the way, Twilight turned to her bed, completely ignoring what just happened. Her mind only grew numb of the roller coaster her day has been.
“W-Wait?!” Trixie cried out, touching her friend’s shoulder with her hoof. Cranking her head towards the showmare, Twilight gave her an irritated, cranky grimace. She saw an azure hoof softly clawing at the ground. Annoyed herself, Trixie stomped her hoof down to put a stop on her suddenly timid nature. Though when she looked back up to that round lavender face she grew accustomed to, her chest’s contents would just dissolve, forcing herself back into a shy nature. She knew that Twilight wanted to hear something better than the excuse that was given, but it was the honest truth, after all. At any rate, she just wanted to wish the librarian --who gave her such nice hospitality-- a good night.
“Good night, Twilight,” she said calmly. Twilight felt her face loosened up as well as her tensed up legs relaxed.
“Oh, good night Trixie,” replied the lavender mare, turning back away to hide her red-hued face. While Twilight was pulling her covers back to hop on her bed, Trixie began taking slow, light steps back to her bed. She could only wish that she would be able to tell the bookworm to have a good night, every night. Perhaps one day to follow it with a mutual display of affection. How long would this dream last for her, anyway? Trixie contemplated what would have happened had she just confessed her feelings just then.
‘Would she have just kicked Trixie out? Or politely reject her?’ she wondered. For Trixie, any result ending in rejection seemed to just shatter her well being. Being with Twilight for an entire day was definitely something she never expected to take place. What if all of this turned out to be one big dream and she woke up back on the cold hard ground outdoors? No, she shook that harsh way of thinking from her head. The last thing she wanted was to be depressed about an abrupt ending to her fantasy. She should only be focused on living in the now which was actually with Twilight, at the moment.
Climbing into the other bed, Trixie had frequent flashbacks of that day move through her subconscious. Collapsing on a doorstep that just so happened to be Twilight’s house and having pancakes for breakfast that next day. Reading her favorite book while she held Trixie from behind, then saving her from a falling bookcase that the egghead could have lifted with ease. She gave the mare a private show and even cooked her dinner, which turned out to be a body switching potion. ‘The time in Twilight’s body was... interesting, to say the least,’ she thought as she started to get comfortable.
Her stiffened muscles melted over the silky, soft mattress. Before covering herself she sat up to take a gander at her friend in the other bed. It seemed Twilight was already fast asleep, her covers wrapping tightly around her like a cocoon. Trixie wanted to see her face while she was sleeping, but of course from her distance, she could only see a striped mane poke out of the covers. Unexpectedly, Twilight rose her head up with the same motive. What she got instead was two purple eyes gazing back at her. They mimicked each other’s shocked expressions and simultaneously made the same thud sound as they snapped their heads back to their pillows.
Trixie pulled the covers over her body in a speedy manner with magic. As long as they were both quiet about getting caught, they wouldn’t question the other’s actions. Today has already been filled with enough strange, awkward tensions between them. Shifting over on her side, Trixie focused back on herself, pulling the covers closer to her. Her mind was restless, along with her legs that would sway back and forth under the comforter. Getting sleep wouldn't be easy if she couldn't calm her thoughts. The weight of the entire day's incidents kept her head at work. Impatient, Trixie shuffled to face the other direction, struggling to keep herself at peace. It was then, however, she remember the kiss they had shared before.
Whether they had to or not, she never expected to experience such a wonderful feeling... Especially with a mare that she used to only dream about. In fact, she found it hard to believe that any of today's happenings occurred. At first, they were practically only subjects of each other's competition, yet now they were proclaimed best friends. Could their relationship grow past that? 'Is it possible for Twilight to fall in love with me and feel the way I do about her?' Trixie pondered. Reflecting on how much she desired the librarian and the affection she would show her if the opportunity presented itself, the only answer that could be reached at this point was that it wasn't all that possible.
Trixie's train of thought was derailed at the sound of shuffling from across the room. Though her ear rotated slightly to hear the noise, she kept her head on the pillow to prevent the sudden eye contact that happened before. Out of nowhere, a small push was felt on her upper back that alerted her heart to jump in fear. Switching the direction she faced in order to spot the source of her brief paranoia, she saw a pillow being held with a purple light encasing it. Above that was the top half of a lavender head with a striped mane draped over, covering the pony's eyes. The illumination faded away as a pair of hooves clutched the pillow tightly, keeping the bottom part of her face concealed.
Tilting her head a bit, two violet irises could be seen glowing faintly from the moonlight shining through the window. It wasn't any surprise to Trixie who this mare was, though why this mare was standing on her bedside, she didn't have a clue.
"Twilight, what's wrong?" asked Trixie. The currently timid bookworm had heavy words she needed to push off her chest. Twilight paused for a moment to gather what she wanted to say.
***
Author's Notes:
I’m being told that the chapter you just read is very decent. Me myself, however, feels a bit iffy on it. It’s practically a transition of the previous cliffhanger into the next event via cliffhanger... Which I’ve done before, but this one seems more filler-ish. I just think I’ve had better transitions. With time constraints on the story, it would be a bit weird to squeeze another event in there. Actually the pillow fight was practically the squeeze-in activity so... Ugh, I’m sick of being all ‘Mr. Pessimist.’ Just make your own opinion of it and post a comment if you want. I survive on those, by the way.
Also, I’m looking for a couple more pre-readers to help out on upcoming chapters and the re-writes of the first three chapters. My number one and only editor is on vacation next week for obvious reasons, but also, lately I’ve been getting comments with corrections in them. I’d like to see if I can get some help to iron out as many wrinkles as possible. Of course those interested won’t be paid... I suppose I can only offer an early reading of a chapter long before it’s published as some sort of... payment.
Anyway, see you guys next chapter. I’m very excited about it!
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82889 Sure hope so! (Cute icon! XD SHE'S SO ADORABLE!!!!)
I will invest my internet points into your story so that you can pay your pre-readers, but I have no literary skills to offer myself.
82917 <<< win comment is win,
Nope! just chuck testa! Bwwahahaha. But no man, if u write something i will read it, love ur style and A/N's. Keep it up ^^
Yeah, I’m reading this and I’m okay with it.
Every time I see this has updated I think "Oh god, here we go again(in the best way possible mind you)."
The picture for you picked for the story just seems to match it so well, I can't help but to chuckle a bit every time I see it.
Keep up the good work, I've had this tracked since the start and faved it not too long after.
(I just really wanted an excuse to use that face
Argh! You and your cliffhangers
. I like this chapter and was ready to chalk up a win for Trixie until Twilight pulled out her sad face.
82947 Lol I know what you mean about that pic. I keep this story open 24/7 just so i can click it and chuckle at the cover image.
But yeah, in all seriousness, somepony needs to do some serious confessing! Must. Have. Kiss.
I think those are all the comments for tonight
Let's see if I can do this...
Comment Roundup!
77268
Wow, you really are some kind of super pro, huh? Hopefully I can be up there with those stories someday...PFFFFT
Glad you're on my side, though. Unless you'e trolled me this entire time...
77565
Really? Wow, that's a pretty big compliment, thank you
I think her entire collection just went up in feathers, though... She kind of unleashed it all on Trixie.
77569
Haha... Another Chapter 1 comment.
Yeah that chapter sucks... I'm re-writing it.
77611
I still can't believe you're drawing a comic of a scene from my story. How you inspire me to inspire you? Inspireception?
Your drawing isn't bad, at all. I really like the Makoto drawing, since that's easily your best. If you want, when you're done with your 'gift,' I can post it on the chapter at the end so people can see it
Would that be Fancy Pants?
78054
Oh you'll get more, trust me.
Yeah that's going to be one of the extra chapters. I plan on bringing the lulz, if that's okay.
82889>>82891>>82927
I agree, the icon is CUTE! I've waken up early and have had the same surprises myself. It's definitely a bonus, man. Early bird gets the worm!
82899
Can they be paid by internet points? What's the currency conversion to USDs?
82917
Shouldn't you be sleeping? Why do you look like you're going to kill me...?
I'm sorry, Vyreinos, I just love to tease... especially at this stage of the game where the tension starts rising. I tend to use friend a lot to make it clear... ahem to drill it into the reader's head that they aren't together... yet
I know it seems like it's never going to happen, but hey, The story isn't too much longer. You will get what you want, I promise. Just not next chapter. I want to have more fun! Then serious time, okay?
Also, I don't think It'll be done on Christmas
I have no editor next week. 
Thanks for commenting and supporting me! It speaks volumes when one of my favorite authors comes and nods their hat at me with positive acknowledgement.
82937
Then I shall write. As long as somepony is enjoying it!
82943
Ooo... You didn't catch the memo. We're actually all out of medals so...
82947
I love getting comments from new readers! Not that I like my other comments any less, it's just that an additional opinion is always helps. Yes, the picture also helped inspire me a lot. I thought if I were to do Twixie, it would at least be somewhat funny! I love comedy.
Oh they will... give it time
82981
Hah! Most were chalking up a win for Twilight before this chapter. And they were right, just in the wrong way.
Yes, I have many cliffhangers. It's what I do, unfortunately.
82984
I sometimes look at it for a chuckle too. Definitely the best in the artist's series.
But they did kiss! What, that doesn't count? You want the climatic, mutual love kiss? Is that it?
Nah, but I'm sure there will be another one somewhere in the future... I guess...
---
Phew... Might be a bit long for the next chapter. Mr. Editor in Chief is on hiatus next week. That gives me time to write and draw a little something too. I look forward to this next chapter. I had it planned from the start. Original concepts always seem to flow for me. Should be good.
*checks for comments* Ah darnit... Now I gotta add it in!
There! Now let's see... Another one? Oh c'mon! *adds*
Now? Yes! Posting!
82891
Not as adorable as this
i.imgur.com/qWVLN.png
I volunteer to preread! For selfish reasons. I want to find out how to preread so I can teach this other guy, so he can preread my stuff. Also, because I'm a spelling and grammar ninja, but my qualifications can wait.
Also, great story. In all honesty, I too felt a bit iffy about this chapter. I don't know why, it just seemed to move slower than the others. Keep working at it, though.
Dammit, man! I'm trying to write my fiction, but everything keeps updating!
83013
I couldn't ask for anything more
This entire story is just one big cliffhanger, isn't it? The suspense keeps building, multiplying, compiling and compounding, accumulating, and adding up to the point that if it ever reaches the seemingly inevitable climax, hundreds of bronies are going to pass out from the sudden release of all that anticipatory tension.
But but but...WWWWHHHHYYYY, why can't you just stop with the cliff hangers, this story has so many it looks the grand canyon. All the suspense is tearing me apart
, you monster
I meant everything I said above in the best way possible, please continue
I to, will jump on the iffy train.
Don't get me wrong, it was written really well, it was just a filler chapter... (As a writer, I know the pain of filler and how awful it makes you feel to publish it. We grin and bare it though, Necessary Evil and all that) ...I honestly understand that with something like this you have to try and squeeze every last bit of awesome out of your brain that you can because nothing really happens.
In terms of build-up however, this chapter did it's job very well. I don't really mind your cliffhangers most of the time... but this time, because of how the chapter had been going, it just the made the ending frustrating (in a good way) for a reader.
There were some parts that seemed to drag on for a little too long and I had to re-read a few sections to make sure I hadn't missed anything because my eyes had stopped taking in information.
I enjoyed the chapter in general though, a nice bridge between scenes.
cant wait for the epic conclusion!
HWARWJAJAWA;WNF;AOJRAWR GRAAAAGH. SO... CLOSE. -breaks down sobbing- TWIXIE, Y U NO OTP SELF?
I do so love cliffhangers. That's why I keep reading. Not only is this a great story, but I always want o know that happens next.
These cliffhangers are killing me! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Also:
"Hordes of pillows clashed, ripped, and torn asunder, leaving its feathery innards to shower over the entire room."
That sentence seems off to me. Is this better?:
"Hordes of pillows clashed, ripped, and tore asunder, leaving their feathery innards to shower over the entire room."
‘I shouldn’t have started this whole thing! Trixie said she wanted to leave and if I had let her... If only I had confessed my feelings for her, then something different could have happened, good or bad,” she thought painfully.
I don't normally do this, but check the quotation marks.
Other then that great chapter! I'm not really much of a critique, haha.
I seriously love this story so much!
Can't... wait for... the next... chapter. Must talk... in.... Captain Kirk.... style.
I would like to offer my services as a prereader. Unfortunately I've only really worked on a few stories, the only one of note being At Her Majesty's Pleasure. I mostly specialize in grammar/spelling errors and brainstorming.
your story always makes me angry at the two love-mares... which is wierd to see a grown man angry at his computer...
anyways like your story!
I liked this chapter and it's ending. :)
I was a little dissapointed that it didn't end with them actually going to sleep but thats only because I wanted to put 'Dawn of the Second day 'as my comment ^_^"
Keep up the good work and merry Xmas
It's Christmas Eve! How about a Comment Roundup before Christmas?!
...Nopony will read this
82988>>83013>>83014
Not sure if deleting...
A real funny buggar must have drawn that! I should show my appreciation by burning his house down
83004
You mean slower than normal slow?
You're absolutely right!
Send me a PM if you're still interested in pre-reading! Thanks!
83011
I totally know how you feel... It's hard to write and read at the same time!
Wait...
83018
Watch and when it actually happens you'll be disappointed
I'm sure it'll happen. Mostly because everypony will kill me if it doesn't happen.
83043
Is that... good? Are they gonna be okay?!
I don't wanna hurt anypony! 
Maybe one of them should die and it'll all be a sad tragic ending! ... ... Or would that be worse?
83128
Oh phew... I thought ragequit was imminent
Haha, Grand Canyon. That's imagery right there! I'll continue to carve more cliffs in there for you to hang on! 
83136
I knew my feelings would translate to the reader. That's why I wasn't so happy with this chapter. Things happen and yet things don't happen
Next chapter, however, I'm going all out. Serious business is going to go down. If anything, I'd like to think of this chapter as the calm before the storm 
And keep writing, man. I haven't seen enough story from you
83150
Haha, you can tell the end is coming, huh?
83350
Wow... sorry, man
I'll make it up to you, I promise!
83357
I love them myself. In fact, the best cliffhangers are the ones that really get you mad or kick your feet in the air while you flail your hands around. If you show that much emotion over it, then you're really into it. Which is good!
You knew this already.
83513
Yes, it is a lot better! Darn my plural flub! Sorry about that
My cliffhangers really bug you, huh? This one must have been some kind of effective. Hmmm... I'll top it next chapter!
83564
Aww man... stupid quotation marks! I'll have to add that to my frequent flub checklist... Thanks for pointing that out!
Hopefully the error wasn't too jarring
83668
Shouldn't you be updating Major Problems?! Get out of here!
Just kidding!
I'm glad you like the story!!! Serious though... where's the next chapter for your story? 
84036
I've already talked to you. This response doesn't need to happen.
Then it did.
84626
Have you been to Youtube? I don't think it's that weird for a grown man to be angry at his computer. Now if a grown man started yelling at imaginary ponies, then I think that might deserve a raised brow from society.
85305
I reject your Majora's Mask reference and substitute my own.
You shouldn't have done that.
---
Wooo! I swear this is the most comments I've gotten since the time I whined about my story being poor. I sure hope you didn't feel compelled to comment because I wasn't confident in my own chapter. I don't know... I don't like thinking that people have to disagree with me to make me feel better. I am my biggest critic. So everyone won't be as harsh as me.
Should I be saying people or ponies? Bronydom has corrupted me so...
Sorry about the cliffhangers guys. I'll try to bribe you back in the story next chapter with a treat! Call it a late christmas gift, I guess.
85723
You have no idea how many times I've almost said some/every/anypony in public. I'll say body instead and heartily congratulate myself in my head every time I do. CURSE YOU, PONIES!
I'll pre-read for you, as I've said somewhere before, I'm awful at catching the grammar in my own fics, but great at catching them in other peoples xD
Ugh, this is killing me! Twilight thinking Trixie was vaporized by pillow bombardment... awesome. Sad, too.
And now... CONFESS, TWILIGHT! 
85723
Man, I checked my email and saw you replied to it and didn't realize how the comment system worked so I was on page 1 of the comments trying to find your response and I was only mildly panicked. I'm pretty sure some spaghetti fell out of my pockets though.
85723
Really sorry, but I've got a writer's block hanging out in front of my potential chapter, and it's too big for me to move in less than a day, so the next chapter won't come until I can get around that.
Oh meh gawd Moar!
Haha, this chapter was really good can't wait for more.
AHA! Sneeeeky typos won't get past me
‘I shouldn’t have started this whole thing! ... then something different could have happened, good or bad,”
Opens up with a single one, closes up with a double. Unacceptable.
But jokes aside - the chapter did in fact feel like a filler, especially with the double recap of previous events. But that doesn't mean it was bad or lacking, I still enjoyed it and it put a grin on my face and honestly - I couldn't ask for more.
its 5AM in South Africa, the rain is pelting down and I can barely keep my eyes open.
Why did I just read all 11 chapters? (ok, 10 if you don't count the prologue )
Because you writing is awesome! Now...Onto more serious matters. Those cliffhangers!
I have 4 words for you.
I hate/love you.
This cliffhanger hurts... It hurts so much.
Jeez I still had comments from that last chapter? Better Comment Roundup before posting the new one
85785
No way would I say that in public XD Luckily I have control over my real life speech. That would be embarrassing if I let that slip out of my mouth.
What I do commit in public is looking up ponies at work. I'm very sensitive to my surroundings. One tiny sound and Ziiip goes down the window! Again thanks for prereading for me
85982
Vaporized by pillows... can such a thing really happen? And I'm sorry, but you'll have to let me finish before you get confessions
86087
Spaghetti in your po--? Anyway, yeah I have a second page to my comments now
Which is as far as it will probably go. Thanks again for prereading for me, Pui!
86788
Happy New Years! <--- That late I guess.
I did have a great Christmas! I'm so glad my presents didn't distract me from my story like I thought they would. I've been distracted off long projects so easily...
87616
I'm sorry, all I read was, "Blah blah blah, no new chapter yet."
Just kidding, take your time!
87742
I'm glad you want moar. in fact, I'll give you moar pretty soon!
88865
I knew when writing the recap that i was beginning to lose it
No worries, I'm not running out of ideas... Also, somepony already pointed out that error 
I just forgot to fix it! It's definitely been repaired now. I'm confident in the new chapter being virtually without errors.
89889
You're in South Africa?!
Wow, I mean... it's just so hard to imagine ponies from other countries reading this. It blows my mind! 
Thanks for reading!
90528
From what I remember, nopony likes little references like that. Especially something overrated like DBZ. Don't misunderstand, I love DBZ. Seriously!
Hellzone grenade was one of my favorite moves ever. It proves not all ki attacks have to be 'BIG HUGE OMFG' to be effective. Though it didn't kill Seventeen
91633
Huh...?
Pfff--- HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Celestia, that was hilarious. I'm so sorry 
I fixed it! I fixed it! Oh man...
Every chapter there's at least one stupid error like that.
92580
Your cries hurt! Hurt so good!
---
I wasn't kidding... I'm posting the new chapter after this. You'll see!
I know it's late, but HAPPY NEW YEARS~