The Third Chapter With Books And More Books
Chapter 3: With Books and More Books
Do you enjoy watching ponies eating pancakes? C'mon you totally read chapter 2 and thought, 'Oh man! They're going to eat pancakes now? Alright!' Well to keep that excitement contained, this chapter will feature the very essence of that amusement. That's right! Wait, how did you know I was going to say books? I didn't hint at it, did I? Now you have me freaked out... Time for the fetal position in my dark corner.
I'm so cold and lonely... I could use a twixie right about now...
***
The Faint and Passed Out Trixie had met with the floor next to the table where she just ate. The ground welcomed her sudden limp body with a large thud. At that moment, she could only hear another pony's cries coming from in front of her. That noise soon droned into silence. The darkness of the back of her eyelids was all she could see. ‘Is this how Trixie meets her end?' questioned the showmare in her head. Strangely enough somepony else had heard those thoughts.
"You don't have to be so melodramatic," said the voice. The tone of these words tickled her ears. It was a sound like this that kicked her heart over a beat. If only she could hear that voice again. 'Just once,' she thought. With that, her wish was granted.
"What do you mean "just once?" Are you okay, Trixie?" another voice asked. This one sounded exactly like the last one, except that it seemed like it came from further away. How could this vocalization read her mind? It even knew her name! 'Who are you sweet voice?' she asked the darkness in her mind.
"Sweet voice? You're really starting to scare me..." stated a clearer voice. Now it was starting to become familiar. Did Trixie know this pony? She's heard it before. This she won't deny. Something about the inflection and pitch just felt right to her. It was pleasing to her ears and made her relax. The last thing she wanted now was for that voice to go away. This darkness was very chilly. To stay here would make her freeze to death. She made a plea towards the direction of the last echo she heard. 'Please don't leave me alone! I can't stand having to suffer like this by myself,' she admitted in the depths of her head.
"Suffer...? Oh Trixie, I won't ever leave you alone, I promise. Just, please, open your eyes before you really freak me out!" echoed the familiar pony. The last of that sentence had a raise in tone. This alarmed Trixie as it brought her back to reality. At last, she found the ability to move her eyelids apart! Separating the two seams brought a white blur into her vision. A dash of purple smudged this obscurity. Becoming clearer was an image she would see in her dreams often.
"Twi...Twilight Sparkle?" asked the showmare with her sight becoming more vivid to details.
"It's about time! What happened? First thing I know I’m just wiping off some syrup on your face. Then the next second you're on the floor talking to me like you're about to die!" claimed the lavender mare. Nothing but concern and a little irritation was shown in her violet eyes. Trixie was fully conscious at this point. She sat up never leaving the gaze of the worried pony next to her. Memories drifted back into her brain. Remembering how she fell to the floor earlier, she felt a little silly. Thinking this Twilight Sparkle would try something like that on her. It was just a moist towelette, nothing else. It's time to calm this pity.
"I apologize Twilight. Trixie just got a little woozy and needed to rest her eyes. She is perfectly fine now," stated the blue unicorn. This was an understatement to say the least. A sharp pain was felt on the side of her head to reinforce this. She rubbed it gently with her the end of her hoof. Twilight noticed this right away and moved her hoof to replace with her own.
"Looks like you hit your head pretty good. Wait here so I can get some ice," said the striped mane unicorn. With that she rose to her hooves and walked toward where the ice box was. Trixie, on the other hoof, just sat there holding the bump on her head. It hurt to touch, but she rubbed it anyway to feel where the lump was. Twilight returned with a bag of ice, floating with her in a purple aura of magic. The blue hoof covering the swelling made way for the ice pack. She then held it in place.
"Thank you, Twilight" she said. Looking at the lavender pony next to her, she couldn't help but let out a smirk. Once again, this mare has shown her the best care and hospitality she could have ever dreamed for. If only she could return these feelings in the way she wanted to express them. Unfortunately, this is a relationship she doesn't want to push at the moment. Just being this close to Twilight Sparkle made her feel at ease. Besides, the story could use a few more chapters. After a few seconds elapsed, one of them spoke up.
"Are you feeling a little better now?" asked the purple unicorn. Her hoof rubbed the other's back briefly. Trixie only wished that contact wasn't so short. She put the bag of ice on the table using her horn and rose to a standing position. This surprised the other mare since she just had a head injury.
"Are you sure you should be moving that fast? You could have a concus--" cried Twilight before being cut off by the showmare.
"Trixie is in fine health, Twilight Sparkle. It would take more than a bump on the head to bring her down," assured the silver mane equine. Her lips moved into a confident and boastful grin. This was exactly the face that the lavender mare wanted to look at all the time. Trixie's smile was an expression she just couldn't get enough of. Like a book that never got old no matter how many times you read it. If only she could caress Trixie's lips with her own. Unfortunately, after what happened earlier, it was too soon to even attempt. Such a thing might end The Great and Powerful Trixie once and for all. Either that or she might leave and think this pony is the most disgusting thing in Equestria. No matter which one would happen, it just wouldn't end well. Moving away from her thoughts, she noticed the mare she was thinking of looking around the library.
"Is there something you're looking for?" asked Twilight, walking up to the showmare's side. The distracted unicorn faced her now.
"Why do you have so many books?" she inquired. Could she really not tell from the abundance of books all around her? The ladders set at each row of bookshelves? It was obvious that she was in a bakery. The striped mane equine just giggled at this question.
"It's a library, of course!" answered the egghead. Trixie would admit she didn't think long enough to come to that conclusion. She noticed there were books, yes, but perhaps this lavender unicorn collected all this literature for herself. That wasn't too hard to believe. Who was she fooling? There are just too many books for it all to be someone's personal collection. The showmare's thoughts changed gears. 'If someone had a personal collection this big, how many of these books would they have read? There are certainly too many for Twilight Sparkle to read...'
Doubt then turned to curiosity.
"Trixie bets you haven't read all of these, huh?" she joked. Twilight knew just how many she actually had read. Her head fell in embarrassment at the thought of it. Would she be surprised at the numbers? There was the possibility she'd run away thinking she was just some book nerd. Perhaps she needed to find out the hard way. This being the case, she told the cold hard truth.
"I've read every single book in this library," she admitted, with a blush coming over her. It took a few seconds of silence after this. Only because Trixie was surprised at how impressive this was. Reading every single book in a big library like this one seemed impossible to her. Sure she read a book once in a while, but finishing a book was very time consuming. How could she accomplish such a feat? Unless a page from the showmare was borrowed and this was all just a bluff. Still, she wanted to believe this adorable bookworm.
"Looks like you've managed to impress even The Great and Powerful Trix--" the showmare was cut off.
"T-twice," stammered Twilight. Her blush now expanded and changed to a darker red. The other mare was left speechless now. Now she would have to think of how that could ever be possible. The lavender unicorn wasn't finished, though.
"Most of them I've read three times. Almost half of them have been gone through four times. There are some I finished a fifth time. Few I've looked at six times and a couple I have picked up a seventh time," she finished. Her head was still looking down with her entire face red. Ironically, she wanted to avoid seeing Trixie's reaction, but she still saw her jaw hit the floor. Was this a mistake? Maybe she shouldn't have told this silver mane pony all of that. It's not like she's told anyone else before. This was a secret she kept hidden from all her friends. She didn't want anyone to know that she was this much of a book lover. Now her equine of her heart had found this out. What would she say now? 'Maybe it's not too late to find a time reversal spell or perhaps a memory eraser incantation,' she thought. Her ideas were wishes at best. She already knew those kind of spells didn't exist. Picking up her jaw off the ground, the showmare could speak again. This time with both hooves holding up the other pony's red hued face.
"Trixie takes that back! Being impressed would be an understatement. Trixie is absolutely smitten! She did not know you were such a scholar!" beamed the blue unicorn. She fell in love with not only an adorable, powerful, and kind pony. But a genius one at that! This complimented Twilight Sparkle so well that she wanted to tackle and squeeze this wonderful mare to death. Never did she think this secret she kept to herself would be taken so positively. Especially by a pony who would usually brag a lot about herself. She even had the added bonus of her love's hooves touching her muzzle. This faded as fast as she thought about it. She didn't want those hooves to ever leave her cheeks. Couldn't she have just pulled her face to hers instead? This was really all she thought about sometimes. It's kind of depressing to be disappointed each time.
With this new found information of Twilight Sparkle, the magician thought she would delve deeper into this. Perhaps she could uncover more about this mare than she had ever hoped before.
"So... which one would be your favorite book here?" asked the prying mare. This answer didn't need a lot of thought put into it. This bookworm knew exactly which book was her favorite.
"I'll show you! Come this way," motioned the striped mane pony. She led Trixie across the room and into another section of the library. This place looked more like a study than part of a library. It had a desk shown in the center with tons of parchment paper lying on top. They passed by the table and encountered one of the free standing bookcases in the left corner. On the fifth shelf up, a burgundy colored hardcover enveloped in a purple light. Floating out from its row, the glowing book drifted towards its owner. Once it reached the unicorns, Twilight had the book's front cover face her to make sure she grabbed the right one. Just a simple glance was all it took since she would easily recognize her favorite one. The book then faced showmare at eye level so she could see the title. She read it aloud.
"Of Mares and... Magic?" she questioned if she had read that title right.
"Yes, this is my favorite story. To me, it has the best story out of all of them!" exclaimed the librarian. Trixie took hold of the book with a blue aura and opened to the middle of it to skim the contents. After a minute of looking at it, she lowered the book to speak.
"What's it about?" she asked. With a book that thick, it would be difficult to read a few lines in the middle and figure out what the story is about. Twilight summarized it for her.
"It's about two unicorns who have a Magician's Duel," she began. Her excitement grew as she explained what the story was about.
"See one of the unicorns challenged the other in an attempt to reclaim self-respect. The problem was the other pony had a crush on her. Throughout the story there are different types of challenges that they have to face. They don't necessarily fight each other or anything like that. It's more of a contest! The one sided romance also adds an interesting twist to it," she explained. This had pique Trixie's interest. She was curious to know more about this tale. A Magician's Duel? One sided romance? It sounded very intriguing to her. What if she challenged Twilight Sparkle to such a contest? No, that would never work. It would be too easy for her to simply point out the similarities with her favorite book. Her unrequited love for the purple mare would be revealed and she would lose her for good. Still it didn't hurt to find out more about the story. There was something in particular she was curious about.
"Does the unicorn... the one with unrequited love anyway, ever have her love returned?" she inquired. It was a bit regretful to ask. As if the romance genre of the story is all she cared about. The lavender mare didn't think this way of her, fortunately, and answered her question in the most disappointing way.
"You'll have to read it to find out. I'm not going to just spoil the ending for you," she teased. What was the showmare to do? Sit there and read every single page? The book was thick enough that it was impossible for her to read it all in one sitting. This fact made Trixie shoot a glare at her crush. That was not very effective. This mare would not change her answer. Instead a question was raised. This would dispel that agitation in seconds.
"Would you like to read it with me?" asked the striped mane unicorn, with the book now hiding the lower part of her face. The book covered the red glow her cheeks had developed. The cerulean blue mare's face had reacted to this question with her own blushing face. It's not like it was a date or anything, but to read a book with someone meant you had to sit close to them. Also it required teamwork and communication on both parts to navigate through the pages. This sort of contact hadn't been established too well in the past. She still remembers the lavender mare that she turned to stone before. Not to mention the strange outburst that statue made afterwards. This was an offer she might have to consider declining. Twilight could see this coming from the lack of response so she made the first move.
"Please...?" said the puppy-eyed bookworm. This was a cheap shot against The Great and Powerful Trixie. Using such a tactic should be forbidden. If she said no to this kind of expression, it would only turn sour. Not only would this pleading pony put on a disappointed face, but it would upset the showmare as well. Her heart would just burn away into ashes. This look that the lavender unicorn had made just wasn't fair. On the other hoof, she could use a camera right about now. If she could look at this captured emotion before going to sleep at night, she would have the sweetest of dreams! Still, there was no way she could decline this offer now. The thought of this almost infuriated Trixie. 'Just how many times is this pony going to beat Trixie so easily?! She is getting so sick of being defeated over and over!" she thought. It didn't matter how furious she got. Every barrier she put up would be tore down. Looks like it'll be another TKO here folks.
"If you insist, Twilight Sparkle. Trixie will r-read this story with you," she stuttered a bit while accepting this proposal. With that being said, the bookworm immediately started hopping around the showmare. With every hop she would repeat the same word again and again.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" yelled the overexcited mare. It's almost if she was gloating after another victory. This peeved the defeated unicorn just a little bit. She calmed down once the bouncing pony had stopped. Twilight's horn lit up and a blanket along with a few throw pillows came into view. She set the blanket down nicely to cover the area and rested the pillows against the corner. Trixie could tell she has done this before. Hopefully, it was only when she was by herself. The lavender mare sat and laid back on a pillow. Her hoof made a motion that the showmare could join her now. With a red colored streak across her face, she stepped over onto the covers, and took a seat a few inches away from her. She didn't want to invade this bookworm's personal space. The librarian pulled her into it anyway by shifting closer to her.
"You can't see the book from way over there, y'know," she said, persuading the blue unicorn to get closer. Their bodies were close in proximity with heads almost touching. Twilight almost wanted to forget about the book and just express her heart's desire. This was to nuzzle that love of hers and hug her softly. What "almost wanted to" meant she didn't want to ruin this moment by giving into her admiration. It's not surprising that the mare next to her also wanted the same thing. If only there wasn't a lack of communication about it. They would have gotten together a while ago. Anyway, the book that they were supposed to be reading had now risen in front of them. Opening from the back cover, the pages shuffled for a few seconds before stopping at the first page. This was a pretty long read. How far in the book would they get?
"Just tap my hoof if you want me to flip the page, ok?" said Twilight. An easy task to turn the page, but doesn't tapping her hoof mean that their hooves would be together? Even though it would only last for a second? What has The Great and Powerful Trixie gotten herself into? She never thought reading a book could be this intense on her. What would happen if her feelings got the best of her? This isn't going to be easy in the slightest. Frustrated with herself, she decided to start reading. The main character was pretty arrogant, and she spoke in the third pony as did she. The resemblance to her was uncanny at best.
Trixie tapped her reading partner's hoof. She did it quick so she would not get caught in the moment. The right page met with the left and she continued the story. This went on for several minutes. Each time she hastily tapped that hoof after reading, the page would move over. They eventually reached the second chapter. This is where the egotistical character challenged the clearly superior character in a magician's duel. 'The writing here is especially good,' thought the showmare. The scenario was interesting and the little jokes here and there were well thought out. Enjoying the story was being interrupted by a specific pain. Her neck was starting to become sore from tilting her head in so much so that she could read. This was a good excuse to stop.
"Twilight, Trixie's neck is beginning to hurt from leaning over so much. Would it be okay to sto--" her plea was interrupted.
"Oh; sorry! Here I'll fix that for you," claimed the lavender mare. The opened book was simply moved so that the contents were at perfect eye level with Trixie's. Relieved but at the same time confused, she wondered how the bookworm would read along with her. It's too far away for her head to tilt in as she had to do. Was she not going to read, anymore? With that thought, a pair of purple hooves came over behind her. This was barely noticed until the second take at them. This made the blue unicorn jump in reaction. Twilight Sparkle was holding her from behind and looking over her shoulder. She felt that warm glow on her face again. The pony behind her noticed the expected response. She tried her best to cover up any suspicions.
"Hey, calm down," she began. "This way we both can read it without either of us getting sore." The purple unicorn knew she had gone too far with this, but her mind wasn't responding at the moment. Trixie's mind, however, would not shut up. 'Why is she holding Trixie like she is somepony's teddy bear?! I can't calm down! My heart is racing too fast like its going to give out. Am I going to pass out again?' she thought frequently. Suddenly, she stopped for a second. What she needed to do at this very second is relax. The mare behind her doesn't mean to be so forward. She only put her in this position so she could read the story with her. 'That's right! We're just reading a story! Nothing is strange about that. Let's just... continue,' she convinced herself. With that, she read on from where she left off. Tapping that hoof that was now holding her
A couple more hours invested in the book and they made it to the seventh chapter. Trixie was really enjoying the interactions all the characters had. They were just brimming with personality! At one point during the chapter, the mare with the one sided love had set up a trap for her crush. An entire night alone with her! The showmare couldn't help but giggle at this development. Twilight joined her after a few seconds. For once, they were both pretty comfortable. Two hours was long enough to forget the embarrassing position they were in, but they would soon be reminded.
"Are you enjoying the story so far? I haven't heard you make a comment on anything yet," complained the lavender mare. Interrupted from reading, the pony in front of her spoke up.
"Of course! Trixie would have complained a long time ago if she did not enjoy reading this fascinating book. It's easy to understand why it's your favorite," she said. The striped mane unicorn was glad this mare never caught on to any of the hints in the story. The book was about two mares falling in love and were both similar to the two of them respectively. She was surprised and a bit at ease that the showmare didn't point either of that out. Being relieved had the lavender pony let out a sigh to compliment it. This breath of air from her lungs traveled out and met with the nape of Trixie's neck. She couldn't take it. She jumped back and slammed Twilight into the book rack behind them out of reflex. Apparently, the bookcase couldn't take it either. There was enough force for the entire group of shelves to wobble back and forth. Both equines felt the rack behind them topple back. As the bookcase's weight shifted back towards them, the top half was far enough out to give way and began to fall over. Without thinking, the showmare grabbed Twilight and pinned her down in front of her.
Using her own horn, she tried to slow the bookshelf down while keeping all the books in place. For her this wasn't too easy. The purple unicorn on the ground wanted to help her, but she couldn't overlap her projected aura around an object already controlled by somepony else. The struggling pony above her managed to slow down the timbering bookcase. Sweating profusely her horn gave out. All the books pelted the grunting showmare whom was shielding Twilight Sparkle below her. Finally the empty bookcase itself collided against her back, forcing the blue unicorn to let out a short shriek upon impact. Her teeth clenched, as she tried to keep her legs from buckling. She stared down at the purple unicorn below her. The expression on her face was a mix of stress and concern.
"What are you doing?! Hurry up and MOVE!" she bellowed.
Mostly stress.
***
Author's notes:
And so concludes another chapter. This one I worked on and off for the past few days. For those who caught it, I did reference another Twixie fanfiction here. I hope that's ok. I'm starting to hear that referencing other stories like that was generally frowned upon. Nonetheless I had planned on it from the start. Hopefully, the way I utilized here wasn't annoying or cringe worthy.
Story will continue!
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Yaaaay! You referenced one of my favorite serious fanfics! X3 I absolutely loved Of Mares & Magic!
"not very well written"
I think I speak for most of the people reading when I say "wait, what?"
I'm a sucker for anything twixie
i am loving this fic very much and i love the reference to the other fic (which i also loved) keep up the good work
28802 I agree with this statement.
Seriously don't stop writing, this is great.
"Badly written," my flank. This is awesome.
Also: twixie fic within a twixie fic.
TWIXCEPTION
Comment Roundup time! Again, thanks for all your support! My confidence has been shattered as of recent so I apologize that it was exploited like that in my author's comments.
28770
Haha it's funny because my references are only caught if I name drop them. My other ones were probably too vague though. I'm glad you liked it either way.
28801 28804
I'm going to be completely honest about the example you gave me about using commas. That has to be a run on sentence. I've seen shorter that have been called the same. I really do appreciate your feedback. I'm sorry the story sucks for you. I'm not even sure how different the previous chapter is from the first 2, but I like to think that I somewhat improve with each chapter. Still, I agree with your opinion nonetheless.
28802>>28872
Like I said, I just got my behind handed to me when I got my brief review back. Actually, I never said that. Until just a sentence ago. Either way, it still put me down a bit. I'm glad there are people who would disagree and say they enjoy reading it. Makes me feel better.
28810
As do I. Along with a lot of other Twixie stories but that particular one is on the tip top of the epic scale!
28815
I totally understand. For I am a sucker for the shipping myself.
28837
I'm glad for that! Thanks for your comment.
28863
That's awesome then! I really thought name dropping another story was generally frowned upon. I only did it here because it seemed appropriate. Of Mares and Magic is basically a book anyway.
28891
Nah I wasn't going to stop writing. If there are people that like it, i'll keep going. Thanks for your support!
28922
What took you so long?!
I've been waiting forever for an inception joke! It never gets old for me.
---
I'm glad you guys exist. Sure made me feel a whole lot better. I was gonna take today off from writing to clear my head but I guess this was all I needed. I'm not gonna start the next one now but I'll definitely start tonight. Enjoy the rest of your week now.
Just a response since it was before my big one.
28929
I'm sure glad I didn't tell you where the knives were being sold. So you're going to grab a tomato and then read my fic?
What the hay? You may fire when ready.
*puts a target on his face*
I LOVE this! Please, don't stop writing! I MUST see what happens!
Pweeease?
I hold an advanced degree in creative writing and have been an editor for a litterary magazine. I have never posted anything to this site before.
But I simply cannot allow you to become as disheartened as you appear in your closing notes. This is the single best written fanfic I have read. Your style is unique and you deliver it flawlessly. You owe it to the community to continue writing. This is a masterpiece of bronydom. Finish this, then start writing your own characters so we can get you published.
There ARE some minor issues here and there, but honestly it's not bad enough to have any trouble reading this story. And I wonder if it might be confidence-related. Ironically, it seems that in this latest chapter, in which you were apparently disheartened from a bad review, actually had more errors than previous chapters. In any case, don't worry too much about it, and keep up the (overall) good work!
BADLY WRITTEN????!!!
Gotta say, I love your style! The three ponies in these chapters are amazing (Twilight Trixie and the narrator). I mean it works, its funny, and the story keeps moving.
Never Give Up! Ya' can't please everypony, but keep goin' for those who enjoy it.
Why did I not realise that it was you who wrote this? I noticed the picture of course and read the description, but never really paid it much attention, but then I saw that it was you who wrote it and I felt compelled to read, especially seeing as you read and reviewed me.
I honestly like the overall style, it fits well within a comedy fic, The use of the narrator is pretty good. I mean, the tags are "Romance, Comedy & Random" you've given yourself a lot of lee-way with the type of comedy you can convey. I find that this fic is quite good at poking fun at the fandom and fanfiction in general, pointing out that if you would have had Twixie contact from the start you would have gotten more views, for example xD
Whilst you can get a bit rambly and it can sometimes be hard to follow your train of thought, if you keep a general sense of organised chaos with your narrative, you should be alright in that department. Just remember to make it coherent, but not so coherent that it strays into being a normal fic. This fic has set a precedence for fourth wall humour and I honestly love it as a fourth wall humour fic. Making fun of shipping in a shipping fic, I don't want to redo the inception joke... still great though.
OK OK OK
I get it. No more Mr. negative whiny pants. I just didn't see this kind of backlash coming
Wait backlash is a negative response... Then what would be the positive version of it?
Frontlash? Meh, I'll stick to to the story instead.
Comment Roundup Part 2
28971
I'm not gonna stop, I promise
Please don't use fluttershy... it feels like the world is ending when she cries.
29015
You have no idea how bad I wanna call your bluff! Apparently, it's not bad enough.
I get it now. I was just mentioning it in my notes because it was how I felt at the time. I didn't expect a creative writing major to give me such pristine praise. Your comment has really refreshed my mind! Thank you very much. I will continue the story as planned.
29037
"Ironically, it seems that in this latest chapter, in which you were apparently disheartened from a bad review, actually had more errors than previous chapters."
Yeah I can go with that. I don't wanna make excuses because I should always be on top of those kinds of errors. To be honest, I was a bit discouraged last night. My one prereader was busy so I was proofreading by myself like I usually do. Funny how I found more errors in it then any other chapter. I thought I had gotten rid of all of them. I'll have to proofread it again and send it through a spell check (I can't believe I skipped the spellcheck...).
Thanks for pointing that out. As always, the support is very much appreciated!
29041
I'll do just that! Continue on for those who are liking it. That I can do. No problem. Reassuring one liner.
Thanks for reading!
29083
I like that! Batshit insane.
Good thing it's not a bad thing!
29085
Hah, I mimicked your surprise. I saw this comment and thought, 'Earl Grey? That sounds familiar... Twixie is involved.' Low and behold it's the author of one of the best fanfictions I've read on this site.
If there's one thing I remember about our little conversation, it was about Trixie and Twilight actually taking time to gain affection for one another. You can already tell from reading the Prologue that I threw that out the window. <-- Adored's influence on this.
If I had little doubt before about my story, you just stomped the rest of it out. I feel so much better now! I really wanted to do this story for fun and I couldn't help but 4th wall break in my first draft. Glad that habit turned out this way. I know I can ramble sometimes, lol. I try to keep control of it. You'd be surprised how much narration I take out of it. Hopefully it's not too, too bad.
I'm glad you liked my fanfiction. It's always an honor when an author from a story you like, looks at your work and gives a thumbs up. Best. Comment. Ever!
___
You guys are all awesome, ok? I'm done dreading over my little review I got last night. I just felt really down about it. To my surprise there are a lot of people who like reading it so I'm going to continue for them (myself as well).
I also promise not to gripe anymore (I've deleted said gripe from my last chapter). The thought my comment on my last journal didn't beg for a disagreement, but I thought wrong. I didn't mean to have most of you reassure me that I'm doing a good job on this. Though I seriously, completely, broken recordly, appreciate it very very VERY much!
I'm going to be burned alive for this, but I really didn't like Of mares and Magic. It's actually the fic that I point at and say "see that? Don't do that."
Now I can't remember if I've read of mares and magic :o
Enjoying the story so far :)
Trevor is intrigued if you will mention any misgivings about the ending, and how it's a bit... Yeah. Twilight was just... It would have worked out MUCH better if she had gone to the Canterlot Library afterwards, (Making sure to cast the listening spell THEN, of course, not trollistically a YEAR ago, pretending to be worried and all of THAT bullcrap), researching the OLD titles, finding the rules, ect, and then explaining it the next morning at breakfast, since she was going to the castle before leaving anyhoof! So... Yeah, just wondering if you're going to mention that at all. (Assuming that they ever get back to the book, of course! XD)
Very good chapter overall, though there are still grammatical mistakes... Oh well!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
Comment Roundup, again! This time guest starring The Magical Trevor! (Whom I'm ego feeding now)
29244
I'm glad you like the Meta! I know some can't stand it
29446
I rest my case. Sorry reader!
29513
It's quite the commitment to read a 250 page fanfiction. It was easy for me though because it's Twixie. Mostly well written as well.
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Greetings Magical Trevor! For what reason have you decided to grace my tarnished fiction with your presence?! Your omnipotence would prove too great for it's lack of a proper editor! Anywho...
Yes I admit it's never perfect. I'm sure the errors are around the places where I did a complete revision. I'll need to run it through Word's spell check again.
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Another comment from The Magical Trevor?! I promise I'll stop. I just like the egotistical approach. Especially when done right. (You obviously do it right)
I scroll slowly through my comments in fear of negativity (Which doesn't bother me as much anymore). I admit that I laughed when I saw how long the comment was because of my frequent mistakes. I thought I could tame the wild use of (Or lack of) commas. I guess I still don't know how to use them all that well and still put them in places they don't need to be. If I might TRY to defend myself a little bit.
"'Trixie The Magnificent eyes...' The 'The' should NOT be capitalized, and there should be an 's at the end of Magnificent."
You're right! I totally forgot about that
However, I capitalized 'The' because I was using it as a title. Does that not count? Obviously it was slightly referencing Of Mares and Magic. Which by the way isn't the only Twixie fiction I referenced in my story. Some are more obvious than others.
The whole using periods instead of commas thing. If you'll notice, the sentences are very long. Did I mention I'm deathly afraid of run on sentences? I know it's just one comma but... Argh DX No excuses! I know!
I apologize about the spoon thing. That was my lack of effective writing. I'll explain to help myself. The thought process for that was that using a spoon to feed someone took a lot of concentration. The angle and slight tilting that it involved and the fact that there's a lot of soup. Taking spoonfuls from a bowl of liquid is time consuming. I wanted it to be an exhaustion from endurance; Not power. Hope that helps
Spike disappearing seems like a common occurrence in most Twilight shipping fics. Either he's out on Canterlot business like you mentioned or he's with Rarity. I intentionally went for the more unlikely one. Also just to defend the minor credibility, this fiction hasn't really passed a single day.
Pffft insult he says. Try this:
THANK YOU!
Man I've needed somepony to point out errors like that for so long. I'm sick of being ignorant to amateur mistakes
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Oh noohohoooo
Trust me I laughed as hard as your head hit that desk. I can't believe I made such a grave error! I need to fix that one immediately. That's just-- Hahahaha how did I type that?!
I'm glad I got you. I wrote that part cautiously for such an effect.
I sent you an e-mail. In the time of writing you haven't responded. Which is OKAY!
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The ending will be mentioned-- Wait WHAT?!
STILL grammar errors? Oh Celestia WHY?! I new there were errors from what one of the comments said. I actually JUST put it through Word's spell check before you read it (I think...). There were numerous double words and sentence fragments. I admit I skipped some fragments because I thought it was a mistake on Word's end for not treating the word pony or mare as a personal pronoun. If I'm terming that right...
Yeah I need help. My personal proofreading is looking very poor.
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That concludes today's comment roundup! Special thanks to Magical Trevor for his most intriguing comments! I always appreciate help in the grammar department. Wait...
I've been doing this roundup instead of the next chapter? Oh darn it!
I think editing these chapters should take priority for the moment.
quality writing is quality...
also, dont let the haters bring you down (and don't be so hard on yourself too)
this is actually one of my favorite fics right now, so keep up the good work!
i think the only problem you have (and its not really a problem) is that your style is very unorthadox, so many will retract from sheer unfamiliarity; i say, "thier loss!"
ROCK ON BRONY!
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Coincidentally, Of Mares And Magic was the first pony fic I read. It wasn't me being hesitant about reading fanfiction, in fact on my last count, I've written seventeen Pokémon fanfics and read countless more. I was kinda hesitant about reading pony fanfics... I tried it anyway on the latest fic to be updated on EqD, it happened to be Of Mares And Magic and I enjoyed it lots. To continue my ponyfic good luck, pretty much the next fic I went to read was Past Sins XD The first version as well. So imagine my pleasure when they turned around and said, "Yeah, you liked Past Sins right? How about you read it again, but with the fic being a lot better and more coherent, plot wise?" ALSO, The final chapter of Past SIns was posted on my birthday. Epic birthday present right there.
I've got to agree with Trevor with the "wet sensation" thing. I was like, No way did Twilight just lick some stuff off of Trixie's face... wait what? Wet wipe!? xD In that overall section, I have to commend you on how much you were able to stretch it out with Trixie just zoning out and thinking about Twilight. Thought process is often difficult to expand upon too much.
I will admit, rather hesitantly, that when you said that you referenced Twixie fics in this, I began reading a lot more throughly than usual and seeing perhaps what possible references I could put back to Adored. Damn you attention! Why must you be so alluring!
EPIC PINKIE FACE FOR NO REASON
Small Comment Roundup before the next chapter is posted! (Might take a couple days to edit)
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Unorthodox? I actually quite like that in some weird way. At least it's not copy pasta, right? I try to write things differently than how one would say things.
Nah I'm over any haters. Especially myself. I believe that if somepony reads it and likes it somewhat, then I should be grateful! To those who don't like it? Sorry.
Thanks for your comment Great and Powerful Reader!
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Gah! Don't change your avatar like that!
I had to once again look you up to see why I couldn't put my finger on who 'Earl Grey' was. It was only because of the picture change... I remember your username by heart now I swear! 
<-- You forgive me because fluttercry
I've done short Sonic fanfiction oneshots. That was years ago, hahaha. Of Mares and Magic I actually had to look for. Well... at the time I was looking for ANY Twixie fiction. I'm a Pinkiedash supporter as well but I ran out of those pretty quick (Way more cupcakes than shipping stories, I think). I'm trying to think of the first Twixie fanfiction I read... oh DUH! The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle! Which I now regret because it was incomplete. That is what fueled my curiosity to look for more. Eventually, I went to EqD and went through the Trixie tags. I came up with a lot of them, including Of Mares and Magic. I didn't know how long it was until I saw the PDF. Two hundred and fifty pages?! I mean, for someone who was looking for a good fanfiction, jackpot! It took me three days to read it due to my job and all.
I don't know what Past Sins is about. I'll have to look it up.
I surprised you too? XD I'm happy then. As long as I get a good joke in there that people acknowledge, I'm fine with it.
Trust me when I say this. I want-- no... need to reference Adored. The problem is I don't want it to be completely out of left field. It's gotta blend with the story somehow. Like Of Mares and Magic could have been any other book. The fact I could use it as a reference without it sounding weird is when I'd execute a reference like that. I swear I'll get Adored in it somehow. It's one of my favorites!
SPONTANEOUS EMOTICON FOR NO REASON!
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Getting reviewed (coughtornupcough) by Ponychan is a long waiting game. I'm sure they'll tell me that I'm some kind of genius and that I should rule them all.
Sarcasm, folks. I'm a dead colt.
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Heeeey! Somepony finally called that reference out! I thought nopony would ever get that one!
Congrats to you! You win nothing! Have a nice day
Thanks for reading
This is easily one of my favorite Twixie fics. Excellent story and hilarious writing. Can't wait for more..any idea of when to expect the next update?
Another small roundup before the new chapter (I'm told it's almost done. Sorry for the wait!)
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I know you. You're the author of Harmless Trip to Manehatten! I know of all the Twixie fanfiction authors!
Or I just looked at your profile out of curiosity and saw the fanfiction by chance resulting in my pretending that I know you.
I'm going with the first one because it's got that omnipotent feel to it. Also a bit of boasting. Anyway, thanks for reading! I'm glad you didn't regret it
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One of your favorites? Thanks for the compliments! Nice knowing someone likes whatever this is. I hope to update either today or tomorrow. Right now it's in the midst of epic editing by an epic pony. Thanks for your patience.
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Been feeling good lately. I have written into the chapter after this new one over the week and have come up with some new ideas of where to take it and how to handle future events. I'm still waiting on that Ponychan review. Currently I'm number 5 in the queue there and no one has really claimed me yet. Gives me that warm feeling that I haven't caught the interest of any of them!
Haha, nah, they're all busy and I appreciate any time they have to look at this thing. Love and tolerance for all!
Of Mares and Magic. Exellent fic. Personaly think The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle is better but only by a little bit.
We'll drive out the Stormcloaks and restore what we own~ Like Imperial soaps and towlettes, I love LOVE moist towlettes
they feel so GLORIOUS upon my sweet ass! 
I read this chapter whilst eating a baked potato.
It was good.
...And so was the baked potato.
when it said that i thought of a funny quote i made
hush now. if you be good ill rapeyousoftly