Chapter 11: Without An Ounce of Sleep
What’s this? A lot of ponies are complaining about my cliffhangers! Well actually, it’s in a good way, but I’m gonna pretend it’s not for absolutely no reason, okay?
Ahem, anyway, since I keep putting in these lame cliffhangers, I thought I’d make you guys a gift! Y’know, for all the “torment” I seem to put you guys under. Just so you know, it could be much worse! What if I just suddenly went on hiatus? Hah, you all know that would be so much more horrible. Even more cruel... I went on hiatus for a day and then came back just to troll you! Ooo, you’re all steaming mad! Wait... I’m suppose to be giving you guys a gift. Oops, got off track there! So sorry! Like I was saying, I got a gift for all of you to see. I kind of, sort of drew a Twixie picture. It’s suppose to be a scene from chapter eight. So... Um... I like don’t draw ponies at all so...
...What? I really did draw it! It’s exclusive to this story. No jokes or anything. You won’t find this picture anywhere else. It’s my late Christmas gift for you faithful readers... Just read the chapter, darn it.
Huh? I forgot to make a joke? FFFFFFFFFFF--
***
The Strained and Curious Trixie had a visitor at her bedside in the midst of the early morning. Of course it was none other than Twilight Sparkle, who stood on her hind legs, holding a pillow just under her nose. Her eyes darted to the left for a second and snapped back to meet the showmare’s gaze. Now sitting up, Trixie wondered what her friend’s intentions were by approaching her bed. Did she just want to talk? No, it was obvious what she wanted, yet the magician couldn’t bring herself to believe it so easily. Therefore, she repeated her question and hoped that her suspicions came true.
“Is there something wrong, Twilight?” asked Trixie, shifting over to the bedside where her friend was standing. As much as she wanted to fulfill the egghead’s wish, she needed a proper request first. Twilight, on the other hoof, wasn’t sure how to ask such a question. It wasn’t every night she got up like this and started bugging other ponies in bed. This was something she desired since the night before, and now that Trixie was conscious this time, she could seek this kind of comfort. Slightly moving the pillow down, uncovering her mouth, she was ready to carry out her choice.
“I had a bad dream. Do you think I could s-sleep with you?” she requested, her excuse being nothing more than a fib. In reality, she was only laying in bed, attached to her thoughts about the cerulean blue unicorn. At one point, she sat up in her own bed to catch a glimpse of her sleeping, but instead found Trixie in a similar position, prompting them both to slam their heads back down to their pillows below. Back to the question at hand, Trixie contemplated on how Twilight could have had a nightmare so quickly when they haven’t been laying down that long to begin with. Rather than investigating further into that, she shimmied over to the other side of the bed.
Without saying a word, Trixie granted her proposition by patting the opposite side with her forehoof. Acknowledging her friend’s motion of approval, a purple glow took hold of Twilight’s pillow as she placed it neatly on the spot next to the showmare’s head. Cautiously climbing into bed, she made sure not to carelessly touch any part of Trixie’s body with her own. The back of her head met with the pillow she had carried over, and soon a comforter engulfed in a blue light came over her and covered her up to her neck. Both of them laying face up now, unpleasant thoughts came to both of their minds.
Sleeping in the same bed was a strange event for the two of them. While other ponies could probably be blissfully ignorant about occupying the same surface, this pair of friends couldn’t stop their minds from noticing the other’s location. Proximity played a role in their thoughts as how it could affect their friendship. Though they desired each other deeply --Trixie more so than Twilight-- the other’s comfort was always taken into careful consideration. The last thing they wanted was their relationship to revert back to what it once was: only being able to fantasize about one another. Going back to that seemed like living in an eternal prison filled with lava and roaring flames.
So keeping their distance was very important to the both of them, at this point. The only problem was that this was a twin bed meant for only one pony. Having both of them in that small of a space made the respect for each other’s privacy bubble harder to keep. If the length of the gap between them were to be measured, it could come down to a few centimeters. Both of them were very aware of this fact and they wondered if all this was okay with their friend. Trixie was the one to actually ask about it, as Twilight was too anxious at the moment.
“D-do best friends sleep in the same bed?” she questioned, keeping her head and neck from turning, lest a close encounter with the bookworm’s face were to happen again.
“There’s nothing wrong with friends sleeping together,” replied Twilight. She wasn’t sure at first if that statement was widely considered true, but a sparked recollection of a past event confirmed her theory for her. Her heart rose in the excitement of remembering that past event and being able to reinforce what she just said.
“In fact, at my last slumber party, two of my friends slept in the same bed. It’s definitely okay,” she said, tilting her head to the side, facing her friend. Trixie felt the gaze on her and twisted her neck so her eyes could meet up with Twilight’s. Before getting lost in the librarian’s wonderful violet eyes, her focus moved back a bit and caught the mare’s lips curled up in smile. It was an expression so beautiful to her that her mouth couldn’t help but mimic the same pose. For a small lapse of time, she thought it would be easy to reach over and pull the lavender mare into a tender embrace.
However, it was a thought easily distinguished by the fact that she would only be able to accomplish it in a dream. A thought the magician wished she didn’t regret, yet felt at ease as the target of Twilight’s friendly demeanor. Either way, she didn’t move any of her hooves and kept her brief rush of feelings to herself. Eventually, she spoke back to her smirking friend who was waiting for a response.
“Well as long as you’re okay with it, Twilight, Trixie doesn’t have a problem,” she agreed. With that being said, the awkward tension between the two mares dissolved. Only to the point that they could sleep without worry, since the other’s personal space was still very dominant in their minds. However, those thoughts would vanish under the weight of their heavy eyelids. Before her mind could wander off into the depths of unconsciousness, Trixie felt it was important to dismiss their small talk positively in order to avoid a clumsy departure of silence, but was beaten to the punch.
“Good night, Trixie,” Twilight beamed, rotating her body away from the showmare.
“Good night, Twilight,” replied Trixie, keeping her position since it was the most comfortable at that time. A quiet, empty feeling filled the room as both mares could now sink into their own slumbers. The egghead stretched her hind legs before bending them toward her. Sticking her left front hoof under her pillow, she was now ready to finally end her conscious hours with the mare she loved and anticipate what tomorrow would bring. Her eyelids now coming to a close, she waited patiently for the fade to black.
Twilight’s eyes flashed back open to the sound of a loud sustained snort. Glancing over her shoulder, the sleeping face of The Great and Powerful Trixie could be seen with her mouth slightly hanging open, inhaling through her mouth in a snore. ‘She’s a really fast sleeper,’ thought Twilight, turning back to the position she was in. With the magician knocked out, she felt more secure about letting herself do the same. A thought of taking advantage of Trixie’s dormant state waltzed by, but she ignored it reluctantly as she needed to preserve their unestablished rules as friends.
That, and it wasn’t her nature to do such a thing anyway. Although, the mere contemplation forced a slight chuckle out of the librarian’s mouth. Suddenly, something grazed her back which made her body twitch in reaction as well as grabbing the mare’s attention. Lifting the covers, Twilight quickly inspected the sensation’s source. The culprit she noticed was an azure hoof, moving over her side.
“Trixie, what are you doi--” she attempted to speak, yet the caressing hoof had already made its way onto her stomach and pulled her body back, interrupting Twilight’s sentence. Soon her back met with the front of an azure body as another hoof snuck under her left side to meet with the other one. Pressed against Trixie’s chest now, the bookworm’s face quickly illuminated into a crimson red, wondering what exactly was going on in that moment. Opening her mouth to speak, she was quickly silenced by the hooves around her, tightening their hold.
Anxious of her friend’s sudden affection, her head turned to seek the magician’s current expression. She failed in a way she didn’t expect. Shifting her weight on her left shoulder was taken advantage of by Trixie, whose right forehoof used the momentum to completely flip Twilight’s position, horizontally. Surprised yet again by the bold actions of her friend, the lavender unicorn could only stare into the darkness with broadened eyes. Her head was now tucked under the covers, succumbing to the pressure of being so close to the mare she loved.
The situation was now the exact opposite of the one before, whereas they would be mindful of each other’s privacy and stay a reasonable distance apart. Now that respect was like a mask being removed, revealing their true intentions. Had Trixie planned this from the start? The thought didn’t cross Twilight’s mind as outer body temperature was raising to the point of perspiration. Pressed onto a source of heat while the covers prevented its escape, causing the mare to get uncomfortable and push up in order to embrace the crisp fresh air.
Poking her head out of the covers, she was greeted by an instant puff of cold air which soothed her moist head nicely. She could feel the bottom of Trixie’s chin on the top of her head with her horn resting softly on the side of the showmare’s neck. Unable to relax, the blush on her face never left. Her heart was thrashing about being so close to her crush and still not knowing why. She tilted up her head a little bit --since her figure was constricted from most movement-- and tried to get her friend’s attention.
“Trixie...?” whispered Twilight, wondering if the mare was awake. After the initial five seconds of expecting a response, she still heard nothing but muted breath. Though disappointed, she did eventually hear a voice coming from above her.
“Please, don’t leave Trixie,” the voice begged. The restless body of Twilight became still instantly while she took in those words in deep consideration. Extending her forehooves out, she wrapped them around the magician’s waist.
“I-I... I won’t leave you, ever,” she promised, closing her eyes and nuzzling Trixie’s neck. Tugging at her love’s body to move closer, she found all her limbs were comfortable and snug surrounded by Trixie’s plush structure. Of course, now that she was at ease about being scooped up, her attention focused on the beneficial scent that her partner gave off. Never before had she gotten a dose of this strength. If she were to intentionally inhale it, the pure bliss her body would feel might potentially knock her out. Just by breathing normally, she was already drunk from the fumes and began grinning like a foal.
In her intoxication, a series of doubts rolled into her head. Though she was happy at this development, an itching thought she couldn’t quite scratch just wouldn’t leave her at peace. Trixie had said the same line before; in fact, it was when she had blacked out after breakfast, so the idea remained that the showmare could still be asleep, and all of this miraculous treatment could very well be just moving in her sleep. Afraid she may have already overstepped her bounds, she pushed back away from Trixie, enough to be able to look up at her friend’s face and examine her behavior.
“Is this really okay? To hold you li--” again Twilight was interrupted by yet another simple action from Trixie. Only now, instead of her body being squeezed against the other’s again, her forehead was graced by a gentle, moist pressure. With the magician’s lips pressed under her horn, the egghead’s mouth was easily ceased from movement. All the doubts she had melted away along with the contents of her chest. Slowly closing both eyes, her focus was solely on the lovely sensation happening above. Euphoria filled her soul, distilling her mind for the moment.
To her displeasure, however, all good things must come to an end as Trixie slowly broke away and hugged her tightly as she did before. With her negativity sucked from her body, the serenity of her embrace consumed her completely. Adding to her tranquility, one of the azure hooves that held her began stroking her the back of her mane in such slow, loving intervals that it could lull the bookworm to sleep. It was only natural that all this affection would start unlocking Twilight’s own love for the mare. Her heart fluttering, she lifted her head and met Trixie’s cheek with her own.
Her mind was in hysteria as she rubbed her cheek against her crush’s, and eventually upturned it to meet the latter with her lips. The taste reminded her of the aftermath of the previous encounter and how sweet the flavor was. Moving away, she wondered if re-exploring that past union would be going too far. She didn’t think about it for long, though, as her current self was entranced by passion. Bending her head back, she would easily press her mouth against Trixie’s to relieve her emotions.
However, her love-induced daze was broken by a familiar sound. That same noise had woken her up before all this happened. Opening her eyes, her deepest fears were realized. Trixie’s face drooped against her pillow in a slow breathing pattern, letting out another as she took in air through her mouth. Suddenly, all of Twilight’s happiness spiraled down, colliding with her beating heart, and forcing it to sink. Every tender event leading up to this point was all false interpretation. Why was fate this cruel to her?
Nevertheless, she kept her hooves around the sleeping mare and refused to let go. Breaking free from her heart’s temporary control, its glass foundation was found cracked in result. She thought her desires for Trixie were finally becoming realized. Instead, the reality of the situation made that preferred fantasy seem like miles away. The revelation’s gravity was enough to make Twilight see the difference between being best friends and being a couple. Being able to pour those emotions from a bottle she kept sealed for so long was relieving and satisfying to her.
Repressing those feelings again would prove to be difficult, as she has already expressed some of them. This was why she couldn’t take her hooves off the showmare, even when she knows that she should. Becoming friends with her in just one day was an accomplishment, at best. In fact, they were best friends, and were even able to sleep in the same bed. Unfortunately, there was a problem with all of that: Twilight just wasn’t happy. All the time they’ve spent together, or even a single second with one another delighted the bookworm, yet she felt her positive outlook on their friendship was only a cover.
Being stuck in the friend zone forever wasn’t Twilight’s intention. Obviously, her ulterior motive was to be with Trixie as a couple, rather than just companions. It was only now that this understanding became very clear to her, and she came to an important decision. Regardless of the short time they’ve been friends or what the magician thought about her, she needed to remove this strain from her chest. Grasping the azure mare as if it would be the last time she could ever again, Twilight decided the only way she could be at peace with herself is if she were to tell Trixie everything.
Maybe not all at once, but enough that she would get the idea and decide for herself if she felt the same way. Of course, there was a worst case scenario where Trixie would not only reject her, but dismiss their entire friendship as a mistake. Feeling the ecstasy of her showmare’s love, only for it to be taken away so quickly made a clear watery substance swell up in Twilight’s eyes, but she held her tears back. It sparked her fighting spirit and motivated her to pursue this relationship more aggressively.
She edged closer to the showmare and kept her hooves around her waist. After all the confusion and newly found determination, Twilight couldn't keep her eyes open any longer. Resting her head up against her friend, the last of her energy slowly seeped out of her as both eyes slowly closed shut. Her head still resting up against Trixie’s chin, her consciousness faded away as she fell into a deep slumber. A new day would soon arise and the opportunity to confess to the mare she loved would present itself.
***
For Trixie, it was another peaceful night of sleeping on a warm, soft bed, and at Twilight’s house no less. Her mind awoke from her wonderful dream of holding her love close and whispering tender feelings into her ear. Before opening her eyes, she noticed that her left foreleg was completely numb for some reason. Contorting her expression in discomfort, she pulled on it gently to find it was under something heavy. Actually, she realized that she held the other part of the object with her other foreleg. Did she start holding a pillow while she was asleep?
Rubbing with her right forehoof, she tried to make out the material of the cushion she held. Though it felt silky smooth, it wasn’t exactly cotton, but instead a rougher texture. One she has definitely touched before, yet she was still too drowsy to explain the familiarity. She slightly opened her left eye, but quickly shut it in defense of a blinding light. From the window in the bedroom sat the bright sun, rising in the distance, shining into the room. Blocking her eyes with her right forehoof, she could unfold her eyelids halfway.
Immediately she felt something restricting her body tensely and a hard object grazing her neck. Trixie could tell whatever was touching her were protrusions from what she was holding. Memories of last night flooded back to her as she caressed the fabric towards the top until, eventually, she felt a hair-like softness come around her hoof. Her first guess is that she was holding Twilight Sparkle for some silly reason. Lowering her sight, her suspicions became true when a pink and purple striped mane came into view.
She began nodding to herself, complimenting her self esteem, since she was always correct in her assumptions. Resting her head back on the pillow, she snuggled her cheek against the top of Twilight’s head. Momentarily at peace, glass could be heard shattering as Trixie’s eyes burst open with her pupils pea-sized. Her head reeled back, scanning the lavender mare she held up and down for immediate clarification. Holding her close, melodramatically, Trixie was fully awake now with her doziness doused by fear and disbelief.
“Why is Trixie holding Twilight Sparkle?!” She cried out loud, inserting a hoof into her mouth, instantly, to prevent further words from exiting.
“Mmrr... Trixie?” questioned a sleepy Twilight, rubbing her left eye. In a swift, panicky nature, Trixie performed a technique she had no remembrance of learning. Grabbing her friend swiftly, the showmare rolled her over to the right side of the bed as she spun in the opposite direction. Since the motion had no thought put into it --like the fact that it was a single bed-- Trixie found her self plummeting to the floor and landed with a thud. Slowly turning face up, her pupils swirled around because of her head being discombobulated from the collision.
Soon her vision focused and the blurriness dissipated as she noticed a two violet eyes were staring down at her. Trixie swore she saw those eyes shoot a dreamy gaze at her for a second, but corrected herself when they flip-flopped into a glare. A voice she knew well came from the penetrating stare.
“What are you doing down there, Trixie?” asked Twilight. The magician came up with a lie which even she couldn’t believe to be true.
“What are you talking about, Twilight? Trixie always falls on her back as a morning exercise!” she explained. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on her side as Twilight looked at her semi-amused.
“You can just tell me you fell off the bed by accident. I won’t laugh,” promised the bookworm with a sincere tone. Trixie bit her lip, anxious in admitting something so embarrassing. Her trust in Twilight up to this point felt right, so it wasn’t hard to believe her honesty.
“Trixie... fell off the bed?” she admitted with a questioning inflection, wondering if saying such was okay or not. Weakness must have came over Twilight as she let out a chuckle in response.
“Hey!” Trixie objected, her timid expression turning to a scowl. This only tickled her friend into letting out a much louder giggle.
“Cut it out! Nopony laughs at The Great and Powerful Trixie!” declared the showmare as she rolled onto her belly and stood to her hooves. Twilight, on the other hoof, was only getting more riled up as she threw her body back in full out laughter. It was so infectious that the insulted Trixie formed a bittersweet grin with a plan of revenge coming to mind. Climbing back onto the bed and over the body of the hysterical unicorn, the magician only sneered while Twilight looked back up at her with her laughter calming down to a heartbeat. She had no idea of Trixie’s incoming attack and only thought the position she was in as being suggestive.
“So Twilight Sparkle wants to laugh, huh?” she inquired the silenced unicorn below her. Raising her hooves high into the air above her, Trixie’s face turned mischievous.
“Well then... Laugh at this!” yelled the azure mare as her hooves rained down at Twilight with ferocious speed. Immediately upon contact, the egghead began roaring with laughter as Trixie wiggled the end of her hooves back and forth over her friend’s sides. Joyful audio flowing through Trixie's ears, encouraged her to mimic the same sounds. Twilight's legs flailed about and tried pushing her attacker away in a gleeful fit. The magician evaded her friend's playful shoves with ease and retaliated with relentless tickling motions.
This was one moment where Trixie completely dominated the egghead. Before the showmare could be completely triumphant, Twilight switched her tactics from defensive to offensive. Extending her hooves, she quickly rubbed Trixie's sides in similar movements that were applied to her. To her delight, the basic strategy seemed to be effective as the unicorn above her started losing control and began bellowing with her own laughter. Shifting her victim’s weight, Twilight managed to topple Trixie over on her side as she continued her tickling assault.
“I didn’t know The Great and Powerful Trixie was ticklish!” she teased. Becoming more perceptive to her friend’s pattern, Trixie predicted the next point of attack and grabbed the hoof via magic. With the lavender hoof suspended in air, Twilight easily became distracted since she couldn't move it. Once she looked to the side , she felt a tingling sensation come from her side that restarted her flow of tears as her chortling began again. Continuing with her clever assault, the magician took hold of her other forehoof with a veil of blue light as well and slipped her hoof underneath to raid the bookworm's opposite side.
"Looks like Trixie still has the upper hand, Twilight Sparkle! There's no escape from me now!" exclaimed the overconfident unicorn. However, it was easy to see that Twilight had a horn of her own, which she promptly used to freeze Trixie's body completely in a light violet glow. Struggling to break free, the imprisoned mare could only clench her teeth as she exerted herself from trying budge her stone-stiff structure.
"Argh! Hey, this isn't fair, Twilight! How am I suppose to tickle you if--" Her voice was caught off from what her eyes darted upon. She watched in disbelief as the egghead stomped her right front hoof in a backwards motion. A small puff of smoke shot out from her nostrils while she displayed half a grin with brows lowering inward.
"Twilight... What are you doing?" Trixie asked, anxious of her friend's violent intentions. The mare didn't respond, however, while she continuously beat the end of her hoof back on the bed.
"Twilight...?" squeaked the magician. Without another second of preparation, the librarian charged into attack. Galloping only a short way, she lunged and tackled through the dispelled barrier into Trixie. Off the bed and to the hardwood ground below, the duo smashed to the ground causing a small tremor, causing the furniture to stir askew. Landing hard on her back, the cerulean blue mare's eyes burst open in pain to see a round lavender face above hers.
Staring back at her was the same smirk Twilight gave before. Trying to get her muscles to comply, her vision darted to where her hooves were. She found each hoof was covered by another, resulting in her entire body being pinned down by Twilight Sparkle towering over her. Soon after realizing her position, her body had a purple light appear over it, gently swaying and sweeping over her, signaling her to uproar with laughter once again.
"Do you give up, Trixie? Does the Great and Powerful Trixie surrender?!" Twilight beamed at the helplessly hysterical unicorn.
"Hahaha, Yes! Yes! You win!" she yelled between short, gleeful breaths. On cue, the illumination slowly vanished and Twilight released her prisoner from the tortures of giggling half to death. Finally free, Trixie reeled her head back in a large sigh of relief. Being defeated yet again, it wasn't strange that she was used to it at this point. 'Is Trixie losing her mind? She's okay with being beaten by Twilight Sparkle?' she wondered.
Then again, it happened almost every other hour of the previous day. At this point, it was as common as fireworks with color. With her head rested all the way back, she spotted something peculiar in the distance. She tilted her head to the side and her eyes squinted to try to make out what it was, but unfortunately, a closer inspection was required.
***
Author Notes:
Don’t I stop at the strangest parts? Let the speculation begin! Is it a teddy bear? A tuba? Scootaloo? Magical Trevor breaking the fourth wall? Go ahead, I’ll enjoy reading each one as I laugh on my high horse, knowing the true event will never be discovered. Though I know one pony among you can read me like a book... Hmmm, strange pun, but anyway! I had fun with the majority of the chapter. The tickle fight at the end (seriously this story is getting ridiculous) was another ‘idea’ dropped by Vyreinos that sparked in my head while writing.
My question is: Can ponies really tickle? I think so. Wait... are ponies ticklish? Ugh, I shouldn’t be debunking my own scenes. That would just be self-parody!
Aren’t I just full of contradictions? Oh! Almost forgot! That one scene from Chapter 9 where Twilight holds Trixie’s tail in her mouth? Totally got some nifty fanart for it. I feel so special right now. Luckily my ego will never affect my way of writing!
Now come back and read this super, bo-ta-bulous, awesome, lovable story of mine when I upload the next chapter!!! Haha! Contradiction.
-
I had to clean this up with a chainsword and fire.
Also, I’m pretty sure the title is a LIE. I spied some sleeping going on there. - Pui
Trevor would like to argue that the title is still true, as an ounce is a measurement of weight, and since sleep isn’t measured in weight, but in time, the title is still technically true! HA! Smart-flanked! ~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
I bet its
I think twi wears the pants in this relationship
102498 Should it be the other way around though? Would we find the take on this particular pairing as adorable? Personally, I think not. But since that's an opinion thing, I shall never be fully proven right, so... Meh. Enjoy the story! It's been loads of fun pre-reading for Dashy on this!
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
Is it a... Aw crap, my inner Fluttershy is preventing me from saying such naughty things.
It's her hat and cape obviously
I think the aforementioned box of unmentionable items under Twilight's bed is what Trixie noticed.
... I still stand by my theory that it is Magical Trevor breaking the fourth wall, but we shall see...
Yay for an other great chapter ^^
I think there should be a limit of cliffhangers in one fic it makes the wait for each new chapter even worse ><
thanks to you i always hurt my precious litle head, wondering how the situation turns out ( or here: what it is)
It's definitely Pinkie Pie
The hat and cape? That would give Twi reason to divulge all her feelings for trix would it not? All in one sentence no less.
ThanksDashforyourawsumwritingandThanksMTforallotherawsumthatisnotcausedbyDash.
Your faithful reader,
Bolt.
IT'S YOUR MOM! JK.
I'm gonna go with Bolt.Maybe it's....THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!DO DO DOOO DOOOOO,DO DO DOO DO DO...
Good morning!
Comment Roundup
102486
Derpy is best easter egg. Who knows?
102498>>102512
What's wrong Trevor? Twi can't be the dominant one? I don't know, Trixie had some control there in the beginning just scooping on Twi like that
102516
Fluttershy is always watching. You wouldn't want to upset her would you?
102525
Yeah you totally rewrote your chapter. I'm just sayin' better chapters take more time. Plus, you have to end your story which is jsut heart breaking because I enjoyed reading it! You should totally write more Twixie in the future! It would be awesome! Anyways, I look forward to more chapters for Wishes and Music.
What are you threatening me? It won't be 10 chapters now before that happens. Your fault
102539
Wow, you look just so thrilled about your guess You'll have to wait and see!
102548
This guess is good too! Also very funny. What if it were the magazines? C'mon guys! Think funny!
102570
Dang it, Trevor! Stop giving twists away!
102600
That's okay, it's just so hard to end a chapter with closure. There's always gonna be something you wanna come back for! Usually I go back for the Twixie, which is the best reason, honestly. Thanks for reading!
102845
Ah! You got it! I was gonna keep it a surprise too...
102864
That is true! Twilight is going to become more aggressive. As for what Trixie sees, you might be a bit surprised at the outcome.
Thanks for the comment, Bolt!
102941
Yep I think it's just you. It's showing up fine for me. Try refreshing? Eh, might be too late.
Hey, that's not a good mindset! You're saying as long as there are more chapters, it's okay to abuse the characters
102983
I'm surprised you guys even remember the magazines. I thought nopony paid attention to that
The answer will just have to wait until the actual chapter!
103039
You were right the first time... The second guess isn't half bad though!
---
I don't give you guys enough credit! You seem to know what the answer is for next chapter and that's pretty awesome. Were some of you right? Well, it's hard to say. It might not be what you think.
Actually, it's funny, I thought I was going to get comments about any of the pictures in the chapter. Instead, nopony said a word about them! Which is good, I mean, you came here for the chapter. The picture was just a bonus, really. Speaking of which, I sent the picture over to Seth for the lulz and he actually sent an e-mail back. He said "Nice! Can you submit to [EqD Submission E-mail]" So, I was probably bothering him. I did send it to the submission box, but I don't think it's good enough for the drawfriend. We'll have to wait and find out!
Thanks for reading everyone!
Oh, this chapter was so fun to read. Although the 'please don't leave Trixie' was a bit heartstring-tugging. Poor mare, there. The tickle fight? PRICELESS!
As for a guess? Spike? A human? Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? G1 Megan? Megatron?
103330 Shhhhhhhh! You're not supposed to guess the ending of... *Eyes widen, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke as Dashy shows up*
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
P.s. to everypony out there, I actually have NO idea what's coming. I just get to proof it for errors and whatnot as he writes it! XD
103118
I will wait patiently to be proven wrong, if you dare do so
For some reason i think Trixie saw a magical Trevor plush, or more likely a Trixie doll.
103367
You've been editing for this long and he hasn't told you yet? Man, in our first conversation he basically spilled all of the beans and maybe some of the spaghetti. Man, you should probably confront him angrily and demand that he pick the beans back up.
Why does this story not have a 6 star rating button?
Why did you stop the chapter there? Couldn't you have wrote say another 10k words
Great job as usual. Now I need to try to be patient for the next chapter.
103789 Nahhhhhh. It's more fun this way. I mean, if I knew how the story was going to go, then what joy would there be in editing it?
*sarcastically* -> 'Woohoo, pre-reading what I already knows happened, yay...' It just wouldn't be any fun. Part of the fun of being a pre-reader, is you do know SOME stuff, like potential sequels, maybe getting to give some input on what it might be about, ect, and reading it just days before everypony else, giggling like a madman as you see the comments, saying "I've already read it! I know what's about to happen!' while still not knowing yourself what the NEXT chapter is going to be about. It's hard to describe, but there just wouldn't be any fun or joy in pre-reading what I already know.
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
103118
Anytime Dash!
But yes I think we all should have said something about the pic...its good. Very good. I have downloaded it onto PC, albeit in a hidden folder, hidden behind other useless folders inside a deep part of my PC where even viruses dare to tread. Behind one last wall of false folders is the prized vault.
Its full of happy pictures of ponies, applejack and twilight. and the odd ponies kissing and blushing...
Only my girlfriend has seen them....
She is not a pegasister unfortunately... But one day I will convert her! She is awsum though, there is no doubt about that. (off topic, sorry)
Anyways! Can't wait for next chapter. On the edge of my seat. (As always)
-Bolt
103837
Clearly you have missed the point entirely. Ages ago, before writing was commonplace and reading was mandatory, wandering bards would spin their tales entirely from memory. They likely didn't write the stories, but they did change them to better please their crowd, embellishing more exciting parts while minimizing the lulls. Editing is the same way, more or less. You may have seen a particular trope a million times, you may have already heard the details of the story, but what matters (and what you should be deriving your excitement from) is the presentation and the reception of your audience.
77203 Name is DashXColt
Has no Dash romance stories
JUST FUCKING PAIR UP ALREADY
soooooo, trixie getting her hat and cape back ^- that is twi hasnt moved it from under her bed :P
Comment Roundup! Why are my prereaders making discussions?
103239
A tease? Nah... I've only been doing that every chapter. I know I can't get away with it for much longer. I don't want my hand to get bitten from jiggling keys. Know what I mean?
103262
Wha? I can't tug heartstrings...
Oh *snaps* it was Megatron! And Twilight is secretly Optimus Prime! They reveal their Transformer forms and commit battle!
PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!
103330
That seems to be the general prediction of what Trixie sees. I'm honestly surprised. I didn't think anyone would even remember those things. You guys really pay attention, huh? As to what it really is, well. I try to surprise.
See above response. You have been trolled
103367
TREVOR!
Stop trolling my readers. Pfft
103396
Well... at least that won't be too hard
103632
Twilight made her own Trixie doll? Oh that's even more creepy. I'm writing that into the first chapter so I can use it next chapter
Of course, I can't do that... Oh wells!
103789>>103837>>103924
Pui... you have some strange obsession with spaghetti... You keep using it!
Anyway, at first, I didn't think I told you (Pui) about the next chapter and it took me some time to realize I actually did kind of spill it. Most likely the reason being is that I couldn't hold in the secret and just HAD to tell somepony. You're one of the prereaders so where's the harm? Plus, I really don't think Trevor would let me tell him... He's told me "NOOO" so many times
Sorry, Trevor. I know you don't really mind, but you are the Minstrel of Equestria and all that. I've at least told you that there would be extra chapters for fun. Perhaps not how many or what they include, but I don't think I told Pui about it... Though if he were to read this, then he would know.
Also, I'm not paying attention to what you guys mean about the philosophy of prereading, but I can at least say that you can enjoy what you're doing for your own reasons and not just one sole argument.
I await to be cussed out.
103794
10k more words? Why sure I could have done that! Oh, you must be so patient to wait two more weeks for that!
Seriously, it would only result in the previous chapter all over, again. You don't want that
The next chapter will come. Don't worry!
103902
You have that folder, too? i think all bronies have a folder like that. Behind a whole maze of nonsensical ones! Luckily, mine hasn't been discovered. My girlfriend isn't exactly a pegasister either, so I know your pain. Frankly, she's annoyed by ponies. I'd be sitting on the couch minding my own business, brushing Twilight's mane and she would come over and ask me, "Really? REALLY?!" What? A guy can't play with a little girl's toy without being ridiculed?
I couldn't help it... Hasbro toy Twilight's mane is just so bad! It's too long, has too much pink, and everything! Almost as scary as Rainbow Dash's. *sigh* I'm the only brony who would honestly brush their manes, huh? Should I feel ashamed for such an act?
104863
>Has been using the name Dash for twelve years
>In the last year has only been thought of Rainbow Dash
I think Danny Phantom had a character named Dash. Just sayin'
104997
Ah, good thing you're patient. No need for riot control
105231
She should get it at some point. I mean... they do belong to her! Shouldn't she cry over them or something?
---
Thanks for the comments everyone! As always, they help my scoping of the next chapter!
A bit of an update on that submission to EqD for that Twixie picture. I saw the drawfriend didn't include it today. I wasn't too surprised, since I didn't think it was all that great to be on there anyway. Still, I was a bit off about it, being that Seth kind of told me to submit it. Though it was too vague of a command to understand why he said it. It was either he somewhat liked it and wanted me to submit it in or he was just transferring me to the right address. Not sure if it's the latter, more because he told me "Nice!" and you would think he wouldn't care to respond to something amateur at all. I don't know, I'm over-analyzing it.
I did get a weird e-mail tonight, however. It told me my message failed to send because the mail server was unreachable. So, my previous argument wasn't even necessary. I resubmitted it so we'll see what happens. I would hope they would send me some kind of yay or nay on it. Just have to be patient.
105352
arch.413chan.net/I_know_that_feel_brony-%28n1301655838986%29.png
Applejack...The mane is orange in South Africa.
I spy with my little eye...
"...began stroking her the back of her mane in such slow..." - began stroking her....
"...Trixie found her self plummeting to the floor and landed with a thud." - not sure about this one, since I am not adamant about the difference between "herself" and "her self"
"...as she noticed a two violet eyes were staring down at her." - a pair of violet eyes? Or just two violet eyes?
"...as she exerted herself from trying budge her stone-stiff structure." - trying to budge?
*note* Apologies if any of those are false alarms, if they are - simply disregard them. And I'll be damned if somepony pointed those out before me!
You know... you really try hard to be evil. When getting close to the ending of "Twilight's night" segment I half expected the whole thing to turn out as another dream. Thankfully that didn't happen... yet... I'm watching You
As for the cliffhangers... you become immune to those after a while so HAH! And ye - the Hat and Cape seem like a solid guess.
Still having hopes that somepony will visit the library at some point... I mean Twilight can't be the only pony in Equestria that reads books, right?
105418
>Still having hopes that somepony will visit the library at some point... I mean Twilight can't be the only pony in Equestria that reads books, right?
Have you ever been to Equestria? Of course she can.
Also I'm sure those errors weren't there when I was busying myself with it.
looks at Trevor
>Does "The Fascinating Yet Obvious Twixie" fanart
>Profile viewcount on DeviantArt more than doubles.
That's right, the viewcount has been doubled.
105444
Nor were they there when I pre-read it! I think Dash added them in to make us look incompetent...
105352
IBringDaLulz brushes his Fluttershy quite regularly, I've seen him do it!
My Ponies art folder isn't hidden very well, you click Pictures > My Pictures > Ponies and or Drawing Stuff. Also you have Videos > MLP FiM > Season 1 and or Season 2. Not to mention the Nightmare Moon desktop. My fanfics are super buried though, but that's just a force of habit from my old Desktop days. My laptop gets locked every time I leave the room.
Also, Dash (regarding the pic and EqD) Seth probably has a massive backlog of stuff to post. Stuff like Art/Fics/Comics that don't have to be posted right away usually don't in favour of news etc. that does need to be recent. Maybe he has a fair few drawfriends worth of art already to post before yours. He posts them daily and there are atleast 30 almost every time so he must get a lot. Counter Over Analysis!
105838
I'll get the pitch, you get the arrows. We will go on a proper inquisition to find and eliminate the typistry saboteurs.
105900
Yes! Amongst our weaponry will be surprise, fear, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to Celestia.
NOPONY WILL EXPECT THE EQUESTRIAN INQUISITION!
106002
Aye! But to do such an inquisition, you will need a guide. One who knows the ins and outs of every town, village and city. A guide who can lead you safely through a snow storm or the deepest forest. A guide who knows every pebble on the road less traveled. A guide who knows the most well keep secrets and can find the most well hidden safe houses where the typistry saboteurs hide. A guide such as I.
FOR CELESTIA!
106400
It's always Celestia
"Hugs his Luna plushie"
Shoo, go on your inquisition while we sit in our corner and read the story.
106445
With out Luna there would be no moon, no tides of the sea, no stars in the night, no beauty to admire once the sun has set. There would be no reason for us bronies to stay up to the early hours of the morning to witness the pure serenity that hides in the sky during the day. Join us brother, join us on inquisition, less the typistry saboteurs take the very moon Luna created.
Plus I have some really good wifi so we can all read the story while we are busy with the inquisition. Its really a win-win.
For Celestia, Luna and Fan-fictions!
-Bolt
105444 Beats me! I didn't see those! Maybe I'm losing my touch... Then again, there WERE a couple of sentences that he/we had to change due to awkward wording, so... maybe? Meh, go ahead and blame me. I can take it.
105352 *Cusses you out* ... XD JK! As to stop trolling the readers... Are you kidding?! It's like you don't even KNOW me or something! I AM the Minstroll of Equestria ya know! Yeash... Oh well! So uh... Where's the link to the next chapter in progress? Trolling FTW! 8D
*Runs away from the newly forming mobs of commenters who are sick and tired of getting trolled by a pre-reader*
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
Poor twi
On an unrelated note, after checking out that pic on DA I seem to have noticed that I have over 1k notices. Time to get to work...
I didn't even have to read the fic to rate this five stars, I collapsed laughing after reading the fucking description.
Still working on that next chapter. Comment Roundup!
105367
Wow, it's orange there? Weird.
Oh, never post that picture again. It creeps me out
105418
Wha-- but... I had two more prereaders You've found even more errors! What happened guys? I was so sure I had the chapter error free
Well, hopefully it's clean now. Still, this sucks. I'm really gonna have to glue one of my eyes to the screen in order to spot those flubs. Something. I swear you will not find any flaws in the next chapter. You're my biggest critic, after all (Well 2nd to me, but you know what I mean).
You other guys got some s'plaining to do
105444
Pui didn't you revise a lot of sentences? How you not see those erro--? Trevor? TREVOR!!!
105569
And then Dash became an ass. Apologies to Donkeys and Mules everywhere!
I like hearts better, anyway
105614
Jiggling keys in front of an infant to tease their amusement. That's what I meant
105838
I did it? Oh c'mon! I asked for more prereaders to prevent that problem
Actually the whole EqD thing is resolved. I actually sent it to the wrong e-mail address. Yeah... my typing sucks... So once it wasn't featured in the next 3 drawfriends, I can safely say that it sucks! Case closed!
105900
Pssst. Pui actually did it. He's betraying you Earl! Just reach into his pocket now and take whatever he's got!
106002
Wait woah hold on stop there... Our weapons are Fear and Surprise! Blah blah blah blah blah
106400>>106445
Unfortunately for Bolt, I'm a member of the Lunar Empire, myself. Just look at my OC! Pure Lunar blood right there!
106545
I know who the saboteur is, but his comment hasn't come up, yet. I'm practically rushing to get to it. I mean, I just gotta put in a thousand words in my document tonight.
106779
AHA! I knew it! Trevor was the last one to touch it! Everypony point your hooves toward this Minstroll. You know who stands here? A PONY. A BIG FAT PONY! Shun the non corrector! Shuuuuuuuuuun...
Just kidding Trevor, but you should really stop putting in those extra words. Feren has to stop in the middle of his reading to pick those out.
107648
I remember the last time I didn't touch deviantart for a year... Jeez it took forever to clean it all out.
107814
Good thing I had the story to back up the description then, right?
---
Sorry about the short responses! My time is short. This chapter must be completed!
In a timely manner of course, I'm not rushing it.
112114.
You should get trevor to edit it first. That way the rest of us can catch all of his mistakes. And set him on fire.
112114
Yeah, I'm really enjoying this lmfao. I love the inner-story commentating you do in your narration, I've never seen another fic do that and it perfects this. I generally hate comedy fics, but this is amazing.
112114
1. Aye, never trust Google images...
2. I don't know whether I should be more scared of you or trevor's trolling. :P
3. Cant wait for next chapter!
-Bolt
113217 Me. ALWAYS me... You see, he only trolls you in this story. Me? If I find you ANYWHERE on the internet, I will find you and I WILL troll you... Why? Because I love you guys, and if I can increase your tolerance to trolling by doing it in a more friendly way, then you'll better learn how to ignore the haters and parasprites out there! Besides, how can you enjoy a fic from somepony you're scared of? XD
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
Personally, I prefer the image Twixie3 over the image that you linked us to, Twixie4.
Don't think I didn't get suspicious when I saw the URL...