What are the odds?

by HikariToYami

And back to evil!

"Hehehe, this one is good and some foreshadowing that is very hidden. Anyway have you all remebered to vote on the question? LET THE CHAPTER BEGIN!"

I wake up having a weird sensation. ‘You are just having a boner dude.’ God morning brain. ‘Why are so slow to wake up I mean I have been waiting for about an hour for you to wake up, you fucking sack.’ I still don’t get why my brain always insult me. ‘It’s because I really hate you Dave.’ Thanks I hate you to. I stand up from Twilight’s guest bed? Those beds are actually kind of big for a pony bed I mean look at the ponies, why would they need a bed that is like two meters or more? I guess it’s just for the comfort or something. ‘Or maybe it’s for sexy time.’ Yeah maybe. I walk out of the room and then I hear something coming from downstairs.

“Twilight, why did you have to kick me out so fast yesterday? I actually wanted to get to know Dave better.” Ok fine that seems legit.

“Well Rainbow you see the thing is I saw how you AND Fluttershy was looking at him and I must say, WHY?” Wait a minute; they were looking at me, THAT way? ‘I seem to have missed a lot.’ What are you talking about? You were here you know? ‘Of course I was, what do you think of me, I mean really now?’ Yesterday you were kind of nice I guess but today you are acting like two days ago again, I thought you were actually getting nicer but then you start acting all evil again. ‘Acting? Dave I must say I am definitely not acting.’ Ok…

“Yeah that was why I wanted to get to know him better. Though Fluttershy is also looking at him THAT way? Shoot that is not good, though it’s either her or me, and I’m going to prove to Dave that I am the right choice.” Oh no, please don’t fight over me. ‘It will all end with one of them punching you in the face.’ Can they even reach my face? ‘I have no idea.’ I still feel bad for listening to this, but it is about me so I don’t feel as bad.

“Are you sure he even likes any of you? I mean why should he? And why should you since you are not even the same species.” She proves a good point. ‘In your ass.’ That… Just wow.

“Well I don’t know about the part of him liking me but I don’t really care if he is another species, since you could look at it like I am a Pegasus and I like an earth pony it can be almost the same as that.” Yes and no. ‘I vote for yeo.’ And what is that supposed to mean? ‘It means both yes and no.’ Mister mixword you are so creative. ‘I know right? I mean I have to be since you are not.’ Why are you so mean all of a sudden? ‘Mean? I’m not mean I am FUCKING EVIL!’ Seems legit. Let’s continue to listen, even though I feel kind of bad about it. ‘Dave, it’s fine unless you call beaten half to death not fine.’ …

“I just don’t know why, because if he only likes one of you he will break the others heart and I can’t see everything ending with nopony being sad.” Both? Well I don’t know about that. ‘Let’s ask them.’ Again who are you talking to? ‘Well the readers of course!’ What readers? This is no god damn book it’s my life you are talking about. ‘Well let’s see about that.’

“I can see where you are going but it will happen anyway and well I don’t want to be the one to take the blow as to both of us, I don’t really see that happening either. But I really don’t know.” Wait a minute; she actually considers both of them to be with me? Da fuq? ‘The bitches love you.’ Please they are mares not bitches. ‘Yes indeed, they are bitches I heard you say it.’ WAIT WHAT? I just said they weren’t. ‘I heard you, you said bitches.’ UGH!

“Both of you? Are you really considering that? That would be kind of weird. BUT if all of you think it’s okay then alright I won’t say a thing. Though I would not want anypony getting hurt over this since you just met him AND he is another species.” Gee Twilight, I never considered you to be a racist. ‘Well they exist everywhere and I love the hate they throw everywhere.’ Okay… But I really don’t want to hear anymore on this so here goes! I then walk down the stairs.

“Good morning Twilight! OH Rainbow I didn’t see you there, but it’s still nice to see you.” I Really try to look as oblivious to what I just heard and really look like I just woke and I reach the bottom of the stairs and start smiling at them. “Well anyway where is the kitchen?” She then points towards the door. But then I hear Rainbow whispering to Twilight.

“Do you think he heard anything?” Yes I did in fact I heard it all… I think.

She then answers her back. “I don’t think so; he really looked like he just woke up.” Well I actually woke up ten minutes ago but still. ‘They are whispering so loudly, I mean really at least try to be subtle about it.’

“Heard what?” I really want to hear what they say to that.

“Oh it’s nothing, right Rainbow?” So they are just going to try to brush it off, that won’t happen. ‘You are a sadist, just like me.’ I’m not a fucking sadist. ‘Oy watch out with the swearing.’ You swear all the time so no.

“Yes of course it’s nothing it was just a thing we were talking about.” Well that just leads to the question.

“And just what is that thing?” Gotcha Rainbow. ‘You know they are just gonna say something about the weather or something.’ Yes but I know they lie and I love to see them suffer. ‘That’s my boy.’ I am not your boy, you are my brain. ‘Sigh.’ Yes you just go and sigh.

“Oh nothing really it’s just that we were talking about how we should introduce you to Iron Forge since you said you are good at blacksmithing and stuff.” That was better than I thought but still not good enough, but I will let them of this time because I’m just that nice. ‘You are actually not nice at all because you are like me the embodiment of evil.’ What the fuck are you talking about? ‘Oh it’s nothing really.’ I trust you to that… This time. ‘So there will be a next time?’

“Sound fair.” I then walk in to the kitchen and hear them both sigh in relief. HA that’s funny. ‘You are still the same old Douche that I love.’ Where did that come from? ‘Your head, where else?’ I guess… Just wow.

After about half an hour of me deciding what to eat and then eating.

“Okay then Twilight, will you lead me to this Iron Forge?” I still think that is a bad pun. ‘It is Equestria or should I say THE land of puns.’ It’s not that bad. ‘OH RLY?’ Okay fine I will stop now… ’YES VICTORY!’

“Yes, just follow me its about a five minute walk.” ‘Oh and by the way, Rainbow left for work about ten minutes ago, just though you would want to know.’ Brain who are you talking to? ‘Oh it’s no one, it’s just me making a journal of my adventures in your head.’ …RIIGHT that just seems creepy to me.

“Let’s GO!” ‘To the place where people like Dave go to die!’ What? Where did that come from? ‘Dave it’s me we are talking about or did you forget that?’ I guess that makes some kind of sense. ‘Everything I say seems to make sense to you doesn’t in.’ Well you are my brain. ‘Or am I?’ Yes you are. ‘Really?’ Yes ‘You sure?’ This completely pointless crap went on for five minutes ‘What do you mean pointless crap. This shit is really important so STFU’ make me. ‘… Ok (plays Friday).’ NOOOOOOOOOO.

“Are you feeling ok Dave, you look a little pale?”

“Yeah… Yeah I’m fine.” ‘(Still playing Friday) Hehehe.’ Wait a minute. “Hey Twilight, are you sure I can ask him for a job? We still haven’t been to the mayor’s place yet.”

“Oh? Yeah I suppose that should be the first thing to do, let’s just hope she has gathered everypony because you will have to go up on the stage and say something like “HELLO EVERYPONY I AM DAVE” and then we go and ask Iron Forge and yes I think he will give you the job since he likes a hard worker and he is nice when you get to know him but he can be a bit of a hard time if you do something bad. But who doesn’t?” Then she starts to smile. ‘You know that she…’ NO SHE DOES NOT, she is just a friend and remember that you stupid brain. ‘If I am your brain and you say that I’m stupid and we have already established that I’m smarter than you, then how dumb are you?’ …Okay… I really hope Lyra won’t be there, at least if she is a maniac as people seems to believe.

“Let’s go to the town hall then! Lead the way Twi.” Wonderful friend. ‘Like me?’ NO! ‘Fake cry.’ That is just a really bad act. ‘FUCK, you got me.’ Can you please turn of the song now? ‘Nah I don’t want to. (Turns volume up to max) There you go I turned it to max as you wanted.’ That’s not what I said, would you please just turn it off? ‘I can put it on repeat if you want to (Turns on repeat).’ DAMN YOU BRAIN!!!

“Follow me!” Already am. ‘You are just staring at her flank I mean seriously DAT FLANK!’ Brain would you just shut up? ‘Nope, never in my life would I like to stop talking.’ …

At the town hall (ten minutes).

“Fillies and gentlecolts. I am here to present to you the newest addition to our town Dave, before you say anything he is not a pony but I think he should be treated with the same respect as everypony else.” She then waves her hoof to make me go up on the scene. But when I am walking there I hear mumble about me being a stupid diamond dog or something, I really don’t care what they think of me though.

“Hello everypony.” Good opening. “I am Dave and as you probably can see I am not from here, I got teleported from my home but I really want to stay since this place seems so much nicer than where I come from. That was all I had to say so: BYE!” Then I walk down from the scene to see Twilight walking towards me.

“That was quick and useful; I like that, though you could give more information about yourself.”

“Nah I don’t feel like it, if they want to know me then just let them come to me.” SMILE. ‘It was actually a pedo smile.’ BRAIN! ‘Yes Dave?’ Will you shut up? ‘Nope.’ FINE… “Let’s go to Iron Forge now!”

“Let’s!” She still smiles so weirdly. ‘You know you like it!’ Nope I don’t like that, it just creeps me out.

At the blacksmith.

We walk towards the little house with a Sign with an anvil on it. We hear the hammering stops to sound. ’SWORD!’ I then see something flying towards me. ‘THE END… or is it?’

"Try to figure that one out! Just remember to vote on the latest blog post."

Comments

[Chill Mists(Chilly)]

Could it mean someone is about to attack him with a sword?

[HikariToYami]

492999 close

[Chill Mists(Chilly)]

493005encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS6KLJD_iKXhsw9CAxZg3HOEaZ-qCot5dJBR7glx1dT_0wnBGjHVA

[Anteh]

I think it's the Iron Forge throwing a sword at ' an unknown monster '.

[Gaz1997]

possibility that he is training to become a ninja?

[machezan]

Maybe someone wants to challenge him on a sword fight for the heart of the beautiful mare (Twilight)

[Shrimpzinc]

"I wake up having a weird sensation. ‘You are just having a boner dude.’ God morning brain."

Made me fucking choke with laughter.

[YourPrivateNightmare]

I like the brain :3