Hay Gets Everywhere.
Chapter Nine.
Hay Gets Everywhere.
I sigh. Wow, there are so many non-canon elements to this place. I can’t help wonder if it was all made up by some lazy artist that thought he was being creative. I feel a twitch trying to make its way to my face, but manage to fight it off before it can reach my eye. No sense in looking spazzy in front of a tea shop owner.
“Oh, I is coming!” Says a small, cute, high and clearly Asian sounding voice. An off white unicorn walks through the doorway opposite of the doorway that Earl Grey came in, pushing a tea tray. Her mane is black and done up in a bun, with two chopsticks poking out. She is dressed in almost a quazi-kimono of sorts that doesn’t cover her flank, but does seem to cover her front hooves. She looks like any other pony I know from the show, save for her horn and tail. Her horn curves back slightly, while her tail looks more like a traditional unicorn’s tail, long and hairless except where it comes to a tuft of fur at the end.
The two of them walk up to each other and nuzzle muzzles happily. For some reason my eyes are now drawn to their cutie marks. Earl Grey’s is four tea bags, while Subtle Brew on the other hand has a stylized tea cup for hers. I feel rather embarrassed and slightly wrong knowing that I just looked at the flanks of two ponies just to know something about them.
Twilight looks at me. “Are you ok, Heartbreak?” she asks.
“I’m fine, Twilight,” I say sighing. “If you want to know what’s up, then you’ll have to ask later. I’m not comfortable talking about it in public.”
Subtle Brew looks up from her nuzzling, her expression turns very sad and she comes to the counter. “Awww! Heart-Break? Such sad name!” I glare at Twilight. I am getting really sick of the sadness joke. Then again, they may not mean it as a joke. Either way, I am growing tired of it. “Don’t warry! We find you tea that make you go happy-lucky-super-fun-time!” she tells me, her eyes closed and slightly squinting, her smile going from ear to ear. Apparently they have Asian accents here in Equestria. I’m not surprised, they have French accents. Why not Asian? “Noaw, what would Heartbreak like to sample?”
I sigh. “Nothing terribly fancy,” I reply just wanting to get out of the tea shop. This is tea, and yet I am feeling a bit oppressed and depressed over the whole situation. “One of your black teas, a chai tea, an oolong, and mate if you have it?” She gives me a funny look. “Like I said, I know enough about tea to know that I like what I like. I don’t know tea like you two know tea.”
“Is ok, is ok. We have tose teas. I pick one from each, ya?” She asks me.
I nod. “That sounds good. Thank you.”
Subtle Brew’s horn starts to glow and two toned tendrils of magic go to work opening different drawers and picking up an assortment of four different teas.
“Um, Twilight?” I ask in a hushed tone. “Is that normal?”
“Is what normal?” She asks me.
“For Eastern unicorns, is that kind of magic normal?” I ask.
“I...I don’t know, I don’t know enough about Eastern unicorns to answer that. They are very seclusive and seeing one outside of the Shangri La mountains is almost unheard of...” She whispers.
Subtle Brew has already taken out small cups on the tea tray and put mesh strainers on them. The dried tea is put in, and the hot water from the teapot is poured over it. There is a minute wait before the strainers are removed and the tea is done.
“Would you like sugar or milk with your tea, Mess Heart-Break?” She asks in a cute voice. It’s not Fluttershy cute, nothing can reach that as far as I am concerned. But it is pretty damn close.
“Just sugar in all of them. A spoonful if I can.” I reply.
Subtle Brew opens a sugar bowl and pours in a spoonful of sugar in each cup, stirring them all at the same time. She then walks the tea tray out from behind the counter and places it in front of Twilight and I.
“Enjoy!” She says smiling a wide smile and bowing slightly. Just then she spies Spike. “Eeeeeeek!” She says hiding behind the tea cart. “Is baby dragon! Where is mother?!”
Twilight looks at Spike. “Oh! I am terribly sorry...” Twilight eyes me for a second and then looks back at the frightened unicorn. “Spike is my assistant. You see, I hatched him when going through an entrance exam, and have been pretty much raising him ever since.”
“Den...You are his mother?” she asks Twilight meekly.
Twilight rolls her eyes and coughs. “Well, Mother is a strong word to be using here. More than often...I act like an older sister...or a good friend.”
From the corner of my eye I can see Spike’s spines sorta droop a bit.
“But I assure you, he’s perfectly safe and well mannered.” She looks over at Spike smiling a rather wide smile. “Isn’t that right Spike?”
Spike is looking in his cup for any last bits of whatever it was he was drinking. “Yup!” He says before lashing his long snake like dragon tongue around the inside of the cup.
Subtle Brew ducks slightly behind the tea tray, causing the tea cups to clatter a bit. Twilight laughs nervously and I just roll my eyes.
“Where I am from, mother dragons very protective of young. Never let any egg out of sight. If mother dragon sees anypony come near nest...” Subtle Brew shudders and then Earl comes over to comfort her.
“Shhhh, It’s alright my dear...” He eyes Spike. “You’re sure he’s safe?”
I can almost taste Spike’s discomfort and irritation in the air. For a moment I think, “At least someone here knows what it is like to be an outsider.” I push that thought away. It’s a horrid thought. No one should have to suffer through prejudice for being what they are.
I look at the both of them. “Spike is the safest dragon I know. He is faithful, kind, courteous, loyal and the best assistant that Twilight could ever ask for. I assure you, he is perfectly safe and would not cause any intentional harm to anyp-pony. I would go as far to say that under his scales beats the heart of a pony.” Almost instantly Spike’s spines perk up at my words. There is a confused look on his face. I’m sure the words of what he considers to be a total stranger might not mean as much as if they were coming from Twilight herself, but at least it is something I can say that doesn’t sound snarky.
Twilight looks at me momentarily and then shakes her head. “...Yes. Exactly.” Subtle Brew looks a little more at ease, but is still leaning close her fiancé.
“Right, Now that that bit of excitement is over, I am going to sample this tea before it grows cold, m’kay?” I state, leaning my head forward and sipping a bit of what I think is the oolong.
The still warm but not quite hot tea rolls over my tongue. A myriad of different flavors comes with it. There are several citrus tones with a few honey notes. Everything I expect from an Oolong except...I cringe.
“Is there something wrong, m’dear?” Earl asks me.
I smack my tongue against the roof of my mouth. “It’s a good tea, but there is something in there I am not liking.” I am about to move on to the next cup. When Subtle Brew places a small glass of water before me.
“To cleanse your pallet.” Earl Grey says, smiling.
I politely nod and take a sip. The water is high enough so that there isn’t any awkward lifting of the glass. I swish the water around in my mouth and then swallow before moving on to the Chai tea. The Chai is a warm and slightly invigorating sort of tea. There is the warmth of cinnamon, the licorice taste of star anise and the spice peppercorns and cloves all mingling in my mouth. I blink. “Overall, a good tea,” I think to myself. And then that...taste hits me again. This un-agreeable aftertaste that I just can’t shake. It’s a grassy finish that just isn’t leaving my tongue alone! “Wait, is that...” “Um, I don’t mean to be rude-the tea thus far has been wonderful-but there is this...taste I keep hitting in the background...I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s...grassy.”
“Oh, that would be the hay!” Earl Grey says proudly.
The twitch that was fighting to get to my face? It’s broken through whatever chains that were binding it up. I can feel my face completely droop and I try to form a coherent thought about this. But it is like I am trying to call my brain long distance and I’m just getting voice mail.
“The number you have dialed is no longer in service, if you feel that you have reached this message in error or are trying to contact a different pony, please hang up and dial your number again.”
Finally the words find their route to my mouth. “Hay? In tea?” I ask.
Twilight gives me a concerned look. “They don’t put hay in the tea where you’re from?” She asks me.
“No...” I reply in a way that denotes a subtle, ‘What, are you crazy!?’
“Really?” Earl asks me. “I personally can’t imagine it not being there. All our teas have the finest quality hay added to them.”
“All of them?” I ask. It can’t be true, why would you put hay in perfectly good tea?! I quickly take a mouthful of water and rinse my mouth out before taking a sampling of the next tea, straight up black tea. It’s strong and bitter, but there it is. Right at the end. Hay.
“You no like hay?” Subtle Brew asks me looking rather sad at my reaction to that last cup of tea.
I don’t want to be rude. I really don’t, but I can’t fight it. “No, I don’t like hay,” I say coughing. “Do you happen to have any teas that, well, don’t have any hay in them?”
“Well...there is our herbal blends. The mint tea is the only one that can really do what you are looking for in a tea, but all of our black teas contain a bit of hay in them to add to the body of the tea,” Earl replies.
I look at them both rather disappointingly and try to get that grassy feel out of my mouth. I try not to show my disgust in all of this, I don’t want to be rude and offend either one of these ponies, but that grass taste is just making me want to gag. “Fine,” I think to myself. “I’ll take five bits worth of that,” I reply disappointingly.
“Are you sure?” Earl Grey asks me.
“Yes. I’m sure, thank you,” I reply looking at Twilight. “I need some air, Twilight. The incense is starting to get to me. I’ll be outside.”
I turn around and walk towards the door. It’s only now that I realize that it is a pull handle door. I sigh and attempt to get my hoof to open the door with less than spectacular results.
“Allow me,” Spike says pulling the door open.
“Thanks, Spike.” I reply.
==========================================================
“I should have seen that coming...” Twilight thought to herself, watching Heartbreak walk out the door with Spike in tow.
Subtle Brew looks at Heartbreak sitting outside. “Excuse me, Miss Sparkle?”
“Yes?” Twilight asks.
“I know not how to say...but, Miss Heart-Break not from here?” Subtle Brew asks, her eyes fixed on the window.
Twilight looks over her shoulder, a small part of her wanted to explain things. But the truth of the matter was too unbelievable, too unreal. Besides, there was a nagging feeling that wouldn’t go away, one that told her that she shouldn’t go about explaining Heartbreak’s origin. ”Not that anypony would really believe me. There are only a small circle of ponies that know about it. No reason to go around spreading something like this around...” “Yeah, she’s not from around here. I’m currently acting as her tutor and guide to the area. You could say that she’s a foreign exchange student of sorts. Really foreign.”
For whatever reason, Heartbreak was pushing herself up on her hind hooves with the aid of a tree, and in one quick turning motion she propped her back up against it. Whatever conversation Spike and her were having then continued.
“Yeah. Very foreign.” Twilight repeated.
“Ah...I see...” Subtle Brew said, her eyes quirking.
“What is it my sugar lump?” Earl Grey asked.
“It is...” Subtle made a face as if she was trying to describe something that she didn’t know. “Her chi is off. Every’ting about...her...is off.”
Twilight smiled nervously. “She’s just a new pony in a strange place, she hasn’t gotten used to a lot of things here.” Twilight placed five bits on the counter and took the small paper bag of mint tea, before quickly making her exit.
Subtle Brew shook her head after Twilight left.
“Is something troubling you Wéimiào de chá?” Earl Grey asked, using his fiance’s name in her native language.
“Is...is not’ing. Many ponies strange outside of Shangra La. All very different, so is not’ing.” She replied, watching as Heartbreak slipped and fell on her rump. "Zhè shì rúguǒ tā shènzhì dōu bùshì yīgè xiǎo mǎ. Huò nǚxìng wèi cǐ shì.”
Earl Grey looked taken back. “My dear, you know how well I understand your language. Which isn’t very well at all. But I do know, “Bùyòng dānxīn, wǒ ài nǐ.” I am sure that Miss Sparkle is taking care of whatever seems to be the matter with Miss Heartbreak.” He gave her a nuzzling reassurance. “Now, come! There’s tea to be made!”
Subtle Brew smiled and nodded. Her worries about this were most likely nothing.
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Mind translating those words? =P
473515 TRANSLATE ALL THE WORDS! Google translate gets me 0 results
aww so nice Earl, wo ai ni means I love you... that's as far as I know... I don't know Mandarin :(
it says something on the lines of "don't worry" on the first part of that sentence
Da fu does that mean? You really should try to find a way to add the translation on, either in the author's note or through a separate link
I know 'wǒ ài nǐ' translates to something like 'you I love' or more loosely, 'my love'. Too much Ranma1/2
That Asian accent is so funny!
However, those foreign words that were mentioned bug me. What do they mean?
4339544 Yes. All 160+ episodes.
It's almost 5 years and three stories later.. think we could maybe get a translation? Pretty please?
Um, author? Do you translate those words in a future chapter? We’d much appreciate a translation.
9972763
It is something to the effect of "Her chi is off." I think.
0:23
Awww