Of Things Forgotten
Prologue:
Dark. That was the first thought to run through Twilight’s mind as she made her way through the dusty hallways beneath the royal palace. It was also very cold, but that didn’t bother her as much; she wasn’t planning on staying long. Coughing slightly, the unicorn paused. Her face distorted into an expression of concentration before a bright purple light burst forth from the tip of her horn, but that did little to help push away the darkness. Instead, it only served to make the area seem scarier than it had previously been, the light casting shadows that seemed to stretch ominously high on the walls. Then there were the other objects that occupied the remaining space.
Do not touch ANYTHING!
The mare shivered as those words echoed in her mind. She had never heard the Princess sound so serious before, and looking at the devices and objects littering the floor of the hallway she wondered why. They all seemed harmless really; some even looked like they wouldn’t be out of place in anypony’s home. Despite this, there seemed something off about them; the items seemed to be larger. Others, like a typewriter hidden away beside a stack of dusty rags, seemed completely out of place were a pony to use them. Maybe a baby dragon or a griffon, but otherwise there were too many small buttons for anypony to use properly.
Why hadn’t Celestia sent any guards with her? Better yet why hadn’t the Princess joined her down here? It seemed all too easy to simply trip and stumble into something damaging it out of accident. Looking forward, the mare sighed before resuming her trek ahead into the gloom .It didn’t matter now; she came down here for a reason and once she found the tome she was looking she would leave.
The mare continued her stroll for what seemed like a half hour before finally stopping in a massive chamber. How far below Canterlot was she? No matter, there in front of her was the object she had been searching for. An old book Celestia had stored down here and Twilight hoped it would explain in detail the events surrounding the dark ages; the time before the coming of Luna and Celestia, Twilight had been petitioning the Princess for more information for months now, ever since she had begun researching that era. What little ponykind knew about that time was steeped in mystery and legend, the most prominent one being the story of Hearth’s Warming Eve.
But what happened after that? Legends rarely could be relied on for facts and truth and the unicorn knew that the information from that time had to be stored somewhere. Twilight knew that if anypony knew where it was it would be Celestia.
“But why here?” Twilight muttered. Why would Princess Celestia put such an important book down here where no one can access it?
“Why here indeed?”
The mare blinked for a moment as a voice echoed in her head. Where had that come from? She was most definitely alone in the chamber…
“Maybe you are… This is just a sign you're going crazy…” The voice called out again, a deep chuckle following it. It was definitely male, though, from what the unicorn could tell.
“Who's there? Show yourself!” the mare called out, looking around frantically, trying not to let the fear she felt show in her voice.
“Oh, I'm sorry if I scared you. If you’re wondering where I am just look in front of you,” the voice replied, sounding a bit nicer and more trustworthy that it had before. Frowning, the unicorn advanced forward and gasped as her horn revealed something astonishing.
It was a statue. A statue of… something. It certainly didn’t resemble anything she had seen before.Only a couple feet taller than her it’s upper body seemed to be similar to similar to that of a Minotaur., However as she looked lower the legs were not the familiar furry goat legs of their kind, instead they seemed to resemble the arms of the creature. Its head was strangest of all. It was as if somepony had flattened a pony's face keeping only a small nub that the mare could only assume was a nose. Above it two small eyes stared defiantly ahead. Oddly, Twilight noticed a lack of hair all over the creature’s body, although from what she could tell it seemed like the head could have had some at one point but now was adorned with strange markings like tattoos.
“What, are you? Ive never seen something like you before” Twilight whispered, she had over a dozen books detailing all the different species residing in Equestria; from griffons to changelings the books left nothing out and Twilight was certain that this creature was not one of them
“I’m what you would call a human, and I’m probably the reason you’re down here.” A human? Twilight had never heard of such a creature in Equestria before. Examining the statue closer a thought sprang into her mind.
“Discord…” That was it. The statue was similar to that of Discord which sat in the royal gardens. Did that mean...
"Discord? Ah, yes, I guess I do share a similar fate as that wretched creature," the statue seemed to mumble, as if to itself. Suddenly,Twilight was more intimidated by this thing than she had been moments earlier. If this thing was like Discord, and had to be turned to stone by the princesses... then it was dangerous. She had to leave, now. Summoning up her magic, she made a grab for the book at the statue's feet only to find... resistance? Something else was fighting her for control of the book! She could feel the statue's presence latching onto her magical connection to the book and making its way up the stream to her horn.
“Nononononono!” All thoughts of the book forgotten, the pony turned around and ran. She needed to get away from this thing!
“I'm sorry, but I need to do this. I need you to see, to understand,” the statue said almost angrily before its magic seeped into the unicorn's horn and then dove into her mind.
Twilight Sparkle gave a gasp as the alien energies entered her body before letting out a small scream and collapsing to the ground as the darkness enveloped her.
My first Fic (dabbled in small shorts in Warhamer battlereports only really) so please comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. Greatly inspired by the two pictures done by Moe (one of which is used in this story )
“Who there? Show yourself!”
Aboce it two small eyes stared defiantly ahead.
the pony noticed was a distict lack of hair
Only 3 spelling/grammar mistakes. <-- Grammar Nazi at work.
Good story with decent description and narration. I wish to see more of this, consider yourself watched. By a stalker
This is something, indeed!
Damn good start for a story, hope it continues to be as good as it is now.
I'm looking forward to seeing more of this story.
First, minor grammar stuff. Both are very pedantic. "Looking around the mare sighed before resuming her treck ahead into the gloom .It didn’t matter now,"
1. Technically treck is supposed to be trek but really that is debatable. 2. Also, just fix the period position.
Now to the actual stuff. I'm a sucker for humans in Equestria stories (writing my own even,) and I must say that your description really pulled me in and that this was a great prologue. Both piqued my curiosity. I can't wait to see how you fit humans into the past of Equestria. (Hopefully either good, ambiguous, or understandably bad.) It's something I wanted to see stories address. Can't wait to see what happens next.
this is being followed for the epic cover art
It's got potential.
Not bad. Kind of reminds me of the fic I have in the works. I'll still track this.
~Jack
Wow, this is pretty good.
Keep it up!
Looks good
Hope humans aren't made so cut n dry like most fics make them
I don't want another "humans are bad" or "humans are good" thing, you need both the good and the bad
448392
Couldn't agree more. Too many Hitler VS. Jesus like stories out there. IT's cool when there are many characters and motivations.
almost no mistakes and great story..FAVORITE. and watch
447773 Grammar Nazis make the writing world a better place!
Great concept, I eagerly await more!
447394>>448047
Thanks you two, mistakes fixed.
To the others thanks for the kind words. Its nice to hear especially if you're like me and easily become overly critical about my own work ( I was half tempted to rewrite the prologue so many times since i thought it stunk). Hopefully the first chapter will be up later today if video games dont distract me.
I'm definitly tracking this!
I liked it but up at the top "through the poniesmind" it should be pony’s
thats a dam good thumbnail "wallpapered"
You have my attention.
Nice Opening, looking forward to seeing where it goes.
A very cool start to what sounds like a good story. Tracked for good measure....
Through The Fire And The Flames - Dragonforce
Also, how did the mother of all Thresher Maws learn how to use a keyboard?
I looked up at the top and... Holy crap. Featured already? On Friday the 13th no less. That certainly says something.
448620 I know the feel. I went through somewhere around 10 major drafts (and dozens of tiny edits) before putting my first few chapters up. Sometimes you just got to remember that the critical eye means you will be far harsher to your story than anyone else could ever be. While it does lead to doubt, obviously the positive results of that self-critique show... and now back to ponies.
If this doesn't tern into a massive conflict of so kind......(finishes reading )....shit just got real
DAMN, CLIFFHANGER! I can't wait to see where you take this, hardly ever am I interested in a prologue especially in the 1000 words region, but you sir, deserve it. Fave and a track, thumbs up? Of course
Ooooo, this is an interesting premise.
Very intriguing prologue... Alright, I'm hooked. Please continue
Curse these fimfics they drive me to insomnia
Hmm....This....is in accordance with my interests. Carry on, chap!
448077
agreed.
Cliff...hanger?
THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
YES YES YES I can already tell DIS GUN BE GUD!
Again thanks for the kind words everyone, i hope i can continue to exceed the expectations you all seem to have placed in me. I'm currently working on chapter one and should have it up tomorrow (possibly). And wow. Featured already? I don't know what to say.
As for those of you wondering how a thresher maw can use a keyboard... What do you all think i did with that reaper? Ate it? Ugh, no no, i turned it into my new personal computer.
Now this looks promising... Tracked.
There are a few mistakes here and there. But now that your story got featured, finding a pre-reader might be something to look for.
I like where this is going. Let's see what you bring us!
I'm interested, that's for sure. Can't say much more from what is here. Tracked and I'll be watching for more. Keep up the good work.
Also, Mass Effect 3 reference name. Nice.
Hmm, I really like this concept, but this needs some editing. Lots of little errors here and there, though nothing too serious.
I am thoroughly impressed and will be watching.
666 views...
MUST READ.
EDIT: Interesting.
Anybody who reads my The Other Side, stop reading my comment here.
I see we have humans in Equestria's past in both of our stories, and the relations were not all pleasant...
My reaction:
static.fimfiction.net/images/avatars/24424_128.jpg
Interesting prologue.... let's see if you can make it as good as I expect it to be.
447773
Teh gramma natsis dey es keeling us wit dere supah grammah skeels
This is looking interesting. Keep it up.
Very interesting concept and prolouge. Cant wait for the next instalment.
wugr.biz/Benny614tv/Main/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/this-is-gonna-be-good.gif
y u stop so soon??
Grammar needs a bit of work, but otherwise, you have my attention.
Wow, this beginning seems very interesting. Tracked!
I think i just shoot a nigga out mah arse. Tracking...
Well, there were a few errors, but none of those are really bad and I think they have been pointed out above already. The story itself seems very promising, so keep up the good work!
I could have sworn i make some edits last night before bed but it seems they were not saved. (Didnt realize you had to click the save button) That'll teach me not to work with things half awake -.- Bunch of grammar mistakes fixed. Thx fvdf for you help. Chapter one is complete but probably needs editing so... yeah