The main character is me in every way. That all I got to say before I start making up more word play.

Hm.
This needs editing.
A proof-reading, yes.
A complete one, at that.
I could do the job, if asked nicely.

-Zeph

Are the parentheses supposed to be thoughts?

before a foot filed his vision

I think you meant to say "a foot filled his vision" I don't even know how you can file someone's vision in the context you provided, that said I noticed a few other little grammatical errors (this was the most noticeable for me). They were nothing major, but enough can add up to ruin a story for some people. While I would normally be enjoying this story about now the number of grammatical errors is boarding my tolerance level. I recommend going through all your posted chapters and seeing how many errors you can noticed yourself, after that I recommend getting in the practice of leaving the unfinished work alone for at least 5 minutes or getting a proofreader for your work.

That all said I think this story story is a fun read. I'm not trying to be mean, just helpful. Someone mean wouldn't try to help you improve, they'd just down vote the story and not leave a comment explaining why they dislike the story.

Could use some more revision to clean up the missing punctuation and other miscellaneous errors. Parentheses and quotation marks are a poor choice for text when italics look much nicer and aren't anywhere near as obtrusive. Ellipses only have three dots. Not four, not nine, three. Writing sentences entirely in capital letters and ending them with multiple exclamation points makes your work look immature.

Also, where did the giant shard of glass come from? Glass used in automobiles doesn't break into large shards. The tempered glass for the side and rear windows is made to shatter instantly into very small pieces.

One word hooked

Noice. I'm enjoying this. I quite like your internal dialogue

("Fuck fuck fuuuuuuck......am I really that useless?")

Oh, wow is this bad. Really really bad. Parentheses in writing serve a purpose and have a set meaning, and this is not it. It is extremely jarring and off putting, but I'm not the first to mention it am I? I wish I had known that before I went to the trouble of preparing an example... but I didn't so I did. Oh well, not going to just waste the effort now, PM incoming with links.

"Yeah yeah...I'm sorry for putting more on you, I just don't want to mess up. College is a whole 'nother level and I want to be sure I won't fail by the end of first semester."

With how much a single semester at a college costs, you can hardly afford to.

As much as Ryan wanted to get out there and kick this guys ass himself,