Of Vodka and Cider

by UglyTurnip

Hit the Trail

Celestia had not yet raised the sun when the knock came at Berry's door. The alcoholic pony rolled over and groaned, angered at being awoken so early. She was not in the mood for loud noises right now, as she had drunk a little too much the night before. She tried to ignore the sound, but another set of knocks came, this time louder and more rapidly.

"Berry!" came Cherry's voice. "I know you're in there!"

"I'm not!" The earth pony shouted, her irritability present in her voice.

"I'm coming in!" Cherry replied, followed by the sound of the door creaking open. "Wow, I can't believe you don't lock your house."

"I can't believe you're trying to wake me up before dawn."

"We got to hit the road early. If we leave soon, we can make it to the rest stop by nightfall."

"I need sleep."

"Yeah, and I need vodka."

The sound of rapid thumping came from above, followed by a crash and the sound of something large falling down the stairs. Cherry smiled as Nikolai crash-landed at the bottom of the stairs.

"Did somebody say vodka?" He grinned, ignoring any pain he might have felt on the way down.

"You could take a lesson from Nikolai, Berry. He seems happy to go."

"But we have to walk," Berry moaned. "Can't we take a train?"

Cherry shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Berry, it's a supply run."

"Supply my flank," Berry groaned.

"With vodka?" Nikolai questioned.

"No," both mares said simultaneously.

"Seriously, Berry, we gotta go. There's a cart out here with your name on it."

Berry's head shot up. "What!? You mean I have to pull!?"

"It was your idea to waste my product, so yeah."

"I was trying to help Ponyville!"

"Well there was another way!"

"Ladies!" Nikolai shouted. "I just want to visit Stalliongrad. Can we go?"

Berry wanted to argue, but she knew it wouldn't be much use, since she was now outnumbered. She grumbled unintelligibly and stood.

"See? Was that so hard?" Cherry asked nicely.

Berry only responded by yawning. She barely managed to put one hoof in front of the other until she reached Nikolai.

"You better not bail on us like yesterday."

Nikolai was surprisingly chipper today. "Don't worry, Berry, you're my best friend in this entire world. What happened with the princess was strictly business."

"And yet you're a communist," Cherry muttered and rolled her eyes.

Nikolai dropped his happy attitude. "Can we leave politics out of this for right now? I was hoping we could."

Cherry nodded. "Yeah, you're right. We need to get moving."

. . .

Even in the early hours of the day, the streets of Ponyville were occupied by some ponies, although most were simply night owls who were heading home to sleep through the morning or couriers who were passing through the sleepy town, on their way to one of Equestria's bigger cities. Right outside the front door of Berry's house was a two-pony wagon, empty except for a set of saddlebags with Cherry's cutie mark as their emblem.

"You ready to pull?" Cherry smirked to Berry.

The town drunk replied with an annoyed whinny.

"Sometimes you outclass Rarity as the town's drama queen," Cherry chuckled as she strapped Berry to the wagon. Berry then did the same to Cherry.

"You know, Dempsey had a saying that would be quite ironic right now: 'let's make like horse hit and hit the trail'! Get it? Because, you're horses, and-"

"That's not funny," Cherry scolded.

Berry, for the first time that day, was hooting with laughter nearby. "Ignore her, Nikolai, that was actually good."

Nikolai himself was stunned. "What? Someone actually appreciates my jokes? That's a first."

The wagon's wheels moved slowly as the group of three began their journey to the city of Stalliongrad.

"I always love these trips," Cherry explained. "You get to see the beauty of nature, and you don't have to worry about rude customers."

Berry sighed, her mood now less irritable. "Yeah, you picked the favorite industry for rude ponies."

Cherry laughed. "Ponies drink. They have long before Discord began to reign. Why should they stop now? There's a lot of money in it. Mama made balloons for a living, Nikolai. She hated it, but it had been the family business for years."

"Hence the family name 'Pop'," Berry added

"But I found out my special talent was mixing drinks. It was all downhill from there. It's too bad Mama died before she could meet Pinkie. That mare could single-handedly keep the party supply industry alive with the way she throws parties."

"And I got stuck with the ability to squish berries," Berry stated, surprisingly not sounding too bitter. "Destiny can be a bitch. But hey, what can you expect when your parents name you Berry Punch?"

Nikolai nodded. "Nikolai finds it weird how ponies are supposed to find their special talent, yet it always seems to be similar to their name."

"You're not the first. And to us, Nikolai sounds like a weird name, too."

"Fourth wife's name was Olga. It fit well, because she smelt disgusting. Everytime I walked into the same room as her, I said 'Oh, gah!'. She never noticed."

All three exchanged laughter. "You know, Nikolai? You may be rude, smelly, and annoying, but you're not a bad guy. Equestria could have had worse."

Nikolai instantly thought of what Richtofen would have done. It made him cringe in horror. Dempsey and Takeo would have probably gotten along with the ponies, but Richtofen was violent and unpredictable. It would be for the best if the crazy German never set foot in Equestria. He never mentioned it to the two ponies, because it hadn't turned out that way. Nikolai knew that the others might be trying to rescue him, and worried that Equestria may not be able to handle four super-soldiers.

Despite Nikolai's minor worry, they continued to have pleasant small talk as the day dragged on. Stalliongrad sat on the northern border with the Crystal Empire, while Ponyville was in the more central region of Equestria. The trip would be a long one, and what better way to pass the time than with conversation?

. . .

Twilight Sparkle stepped off the train just as the sun rose over the Crystal Empire. It had been a long ride, but the alicorn didn't care. The Summer Sun Celebration had gone well, and now she had taken her monthly trip to see how life was at the Crystal Empire. More importantly, she wanted to see her brother and sister-in-law. However, she realized that she was missing a baby dragon, as well as a guest who had wanted to tag along.

"Sorry, Twilight, I really am," came Fluttershy's soft voice as she joined her friend. Spike was wrapped around her wing, snoring heavily. "But I wanted to make sure I didn't wake Spike."

Twilight gave her friend a smile. "It's OK, Fluttershy. I'm not in a rush today. Do you want to do something? We can drop Spike off at the castle."

"That would be nice."

They traveled through the town, waving hello to the grateful crystal ponies they passed by, until the reached the palace. As the duo entered, Spike still sound asleep, they overheard Cadence and Shining Armor debating about something.

"We can't stand idly by while a city of innocent ponies may be in danger," pleaded Cadence.

"It's not in out jurisdiction, Cadence. We don't even have the legal right to decide."

"I'm sure Celestia and Luna would understand. We haven't had any contact with the city for days. We should be worried!"

"What's happened to Stalliongrad?" Asked Twilight.

"Twily!" Shining Armor smiled, forgetting the current argument with his wife. He galloped over to her and the two shared a hug. "It's so good to see you again, little sis."

Cadence joined them in the group hug, and greeted Fluttershy with the same friendly gesture.

After the ponies greeted, Cadence's face turned grim again. "You wouldn't know anything about Stalliongrad, have you?"

Twilight shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Has something happened?"

"We don't know for sure," Shining answered. "The usual traffic from the city has randomly stopped, but we haven't received any messages of distress. Cadence wants to send a scouting party, maybe check it out herself even, but I don't think we should worry about it just yet."

Despite his decision, Twilight noticed a hint of worry in the prince's voice. "Maybe I could check it out?"

Cadence and Shining Armor shared a glance, staring into each other's eyes as if communicating by telepathy. Both shook their heads.

"Let's wait and sent a detachment of the guard to the city. If we get word of bad news, or even worse, no word at all, we can investigate as a team."

Shining Armor nodded. "I'm on it," he smirked at Twilight one last time before parting.

Twilight tried to shake the nervous feeling that had begun to grip her. There wasn't anything she could do about it right now. "Why don't we go out on the town?"

Cadence was eager to take her mind off their current problem. "Sure, that would be lovely, Twilight."

With that, the three headed outside.

. . .

"Gentlecolts," Shining Armor began to the three guards he gathered for the mission. "I have an important assignment for you. We've lost contact with Stalliongrad over the past few days. With no word from the Princesses of Equestria, my wife has decided to let us take a course of action. You're goal is to scout the city and report back with any information you discover. If the city is under attack, do not attack. This isn't a combat mission. Got it, Flash Sentry?" He glared at the unicorn guard. He was the only one of the Crystal Guards that was not a crystal pony himself.

"Oh, that's just racist," he muttered quietly.

Unfortunately for him, Shining Armor heard it. "You do realize I'm not a crystal pony either, right?"

"You're just like Uncle Ruckus!"

"Uncle whosit?" Shining Armor questioned, he then quickly shook it off. "Just get out there."

"Yes sir!" The other two guards barked in unison. Flash rolled his eyes and saluted before marching forth, followed by the others.

. . .

After a long day of travel, the sun had begun to lower in the sky. The Equestrian roadway had been unusually quiet. Not that Cherry or her companions noticed, for today had gone by fast in their eyes by conversations of the past, personal lives, and vodka, of course. Cherry made a mental note that they should be reaching the hotel she stayed at any minute now.

As if on cue, Berry and Nikolai nodded almost simultaneously. "Are we there yet? It's almost sunset."

"Soon, Berry, soon."

"Today was rather fun, especially when Nikolai disturbed that beehive. They chased him all the way down the road until he was a little speck on the horizon."

Nikolai rubbed the various stings that covered his face. Had it been anyone else, he would have probably hit them for laughing at his misfortune. However, he surprisingly laughed along with them. "What bees?" He pretended to act brave and fearless. "Nikolai just wanted to work on his cardio. Can't go fat and lazy just because you're in Ponyland, right?"

"So why the screaming?" Berry raised an eyebrow.

"I, uh, wanted to be on Russia's Got Talent?" He then burst into laughter. "OK, you got me. Not even the manly chest hairs can save Nikolai from bee stings."

Cherry noticed the terrain around her. "Alright guys, just a little bit further. We should see it any minute now."

Berry's mood had changed drastically from the morning. Hell, to Cherry, it seemed that she had changed her attitude every time she was around Nikolai. The two had phenomenal chemistry, that was for sure. The way they interacted made it seem like they had known each other for years.

"Hey Nikolai, do the voice again."

Nikolai cleared his throat, then uttered in the highest-pitched voice he could muster, "My name is Doctor Richtofen, and I love spleens, pissing off Dempshey, and screaming in German!" He didn't quite sound like the crazy doctor, but it wasn't a bad imitation. Berry couldn't help but stifle a chuckle.

"He sounds high-pitched for a male."

"He's like a little boy, with guns, and the intelligence of a brain surgeon."

The three then all stopped talking to marvel at the beauty of the sunset. Judging by how low it was now, Princess Luna must have been getting reading to raise the moon any second now.

"Wow," Nikolai marveled. "I never saw such a beautiful view before. Granted, I spent most of my life either fighting or working, but still. Nikolai guesses his goals have changed since he came here."

"You don't have anything to fight anymore. You can finally drop your sword and relax.

Nikolai felt conflicted. "You're right, Cherry. Most people in the Red Army just wanted to enact revenge on Germany and go home to live simple lives. Not me, though. I can't remember much from the war itself, but I quite enjoyed killing zombies. In a way, it relieved stress. Sure, Ponyland is a pacifist's dream, but I'm not a pacifist."

Berry suddenly perked up and stared forward. Following her eyes, Cherry and Nikolai saw a simple two-story wooden building in the distance. It had been the first sign of life for miles, and judging by Cherry's nod of approval, it was the hotel they needed to stop at. When they arrived, Nikolai helped Cherry and Berry unhitch themselves, leaving the car behind the hotel on Cherry's orders.

Cherry had graciously paid for two rooms: one for herself, the other for Nikolai and Berry to share. Entering their room, the pony and human couldn't help but fall onto the bed. It had been a long day of near-constant travel, but it was over now.

. . .

At about the same time, Flash Sentry and the two guards accompanying him stood on a hill, overlooking the large city. Equestrian architecture was known for its variance from town-to-town, and Stalliongrad was no different. One of the more "modern" cities, it appeared very much like World War II-era Stalingrad, only without the massive amounts of damage from German bombers. This was a town full of hardy, happy ponies. That was mainly owed to the bars. Stalliongrad was considered by many to be the drinking capital of Equestria, and some kind of tavern was on nearly every street. From their view on the hill, the guards could not see anything wrong in the city. No buildings were smoking, nor did they hear any signals of danger. However, they were not close enough to know for sure if all was well.

"We should probably enter the city, just to be sure," Unnamed Guard Number One advised.

"Good idea," Flash acknowledged. "Unnamed Guard Number Two, you stay here. If anything happens to us, double back to the Crystal Empire immediately."

Unnamed Guard Number Two Saluted. "Yes sir!"

"You two have strange names, by the way,"

"We know, sir!" Both acknowledged.

Flash and Guard One moved down the hill towards the city swiftly and quietly, just in case they had a reason to.

"Do you think we'll find anything down there?" The guard asked.

"You know Cadence," Flash shook his head. "She worries about ponies. I admire it and hate it at the same time, especially when I have to deal with Shining Armor."

"He's been rather hard on you lately."

"I think he knows of the crush I have on Twilight. You know how big brothers are."

"I know that feeling all too well, sir."

Silence followed as the two reached the outskirts of the city. That's when they realized that the streets were completely abandoned. Stalliongrad was a big city, it never had abandoned streets, even at the outskirts. Nevertheless, the duo pushed on, hoping to discover a sign of life further in.

They didn't hear the moans coming from a nearby building, but they heard the screams as a pony charged at them. Flash bucked it back with his hind legs, causing it to stumble momentarily before recovering. That's when Flash and the guard realized that said pony had glowing yellow eyes and decayed skin. It was a living corpse, and it wasn't happy to see them.

Before he could defend himself in time, Unnamed Guard Number One found himself the victim of the pony's bite. The guard screamed and yelped as the pony pinned him to the ground and began to tear out large chunks of flesh. Flash couldn't take it and vomited. By the time he recovered enough to shove it off, it was too late to save the guard, who was bleeding out.

"What is this!?" He shouted as more began to show.

"Zombies," muttered the guard, just before he suddenly died and reanimated in the course of ten seconds. The zombie ponies had now cut off any hope of escape for Flash. He closed his eyes and awaited his impending doom.

It didn't end well.

Author's Note:

Yes, the zombies of the COD-verse have invaded Stalliongrad. Yes, I killed off Flash Sentry. *crosses fingers and hopes to become popular because of this*

In all seriousness, you may be wondering how the zombies came in. Rest assured that there is a reason. However, half the fun is finding out, so no spoilers!

Thanks for 50 likes, by the way! And don't be afraid to give constructive criticism. I'm not one of "those" authors.

Comments

[IAreBox]

Flash Sentry dead. +8000 likes and instant feature

[DerpyHooves320]

Nooo unnamed guard one died! We're screwed!

[Kiu1q2w]

Horray! Flash died! You should make a chapter where the drunks have to tell Twilight.

[panzerleid]

It was Richtoven's pet Graig ain't it?

[UglyTurnip]

5195287 Not a bad theory, but no. Craig actually had no real relevance to the story whatsoever and simply existed for a joke.

*hears growl*

Oh, h-hey Craig. Uh, I didn't mean what I just said. W-we're all friends he- AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!

[panzerleid]

5196212 Hahaha ok I see.

[EdgeLordpone]

What is with every ones hate for flash

[Base-Delta-Zero]

5719965 because he stole da waifuz.

People get butthurt over the silliest things....

[Karmine]

Yes! Flash Sentry is dead !

I was hoping for his demise since the first time he appeared in the story.

[Derpy_DragonV1]

I have been waiting for teh zumbes