Of Vodka and Cider

by UglyTurnip

Of Refuge and Royal Rage

Berry Punch lied uncomfortably on her couch, a bandage strapped around her undersection. As it turned out, Lyra's buck had done some significant damage to her ribcage. The doctor had forced her to wear this compressed bandage so that she would not get hurt anymore than she had already. Berry groaned, wishing that healing magic for fractured bones existed. She managed to sit upright, and reach over for her homemade martini nearby. As she gulped down the fruity beverage, she wondered how things were going today for Nikolai. She had noticed, on the way way back from the hospital, that the Carousel Boutique was closed due to 'Unexpected Shipment Problems'. Berry had chuckled, knowing full well what had happened to keep the Boutique shut down. Perhaps Rarity would finally learn her lesson after this last incident; that hangovers are a bitch.

The irony of that was that Berry herself was completely aware of bad hangovers, but continued to drink her troubles away every night. You would think that she would wise up and drink less to get more hangover. However, for Berry, the reward was worth the risk.

The drinking pony sat on her couch, lost in thought for some time, before she finally heard a rapid knocking on her door.

"Who could that be?" She mumbled, irritated that her quiet afternoon was about to be interrupted by Celestia-knows-who. She once again shuffled off of the couch and slowly trotted to the door, taking her sweet time opening it. She perked up slightly to see that it was Nikolai, much more happy to see that it was a good friend. However, he seemed troubled. The Russian ducked into the home without saying a word and shut the door.

"Oh, yes, make yourself right at home, hairless monkey," she sarcastically teased.

"Did anyone see me?" Nikolai glanced out one her windows. Berry noticed Rainbow Dash slowly hovering down the street, glancing around, as if looking for something. . . Or somepony.

She immediately turned to Nikolai. "Why are you hiding?"

Nikolai did not even try to hide his anxiety. "Nikolai may have tried to start a communist revolution. Results were not good."

Berry's expression twisted into a shocked one. "Don't tell me you pissed off Celestia! Oh, you're in for it!"

Nikolai quickly made a 'shush' gesture. "No, no, no. It wasn't Celestia, she laughed like Nikolai had just told a joke."

Berry breathed a sigh of relief.

"It was Twilight."

Never mind, Berry was nervous again.

"Twilight!? This isn't good. She's much more impulsive to things like this. . . Give her a week, and she'll cool off. Until then, you need to lay low here. I'll hide you in my attic."

Nikolai glanced around at Berry's relatively crappy house. "You mean this place has an attic?"

Berry nodded, rolling her eyes. "Way to focus on the current situation, hairless monkey," she stated with a deadpan expression. She trotted up some stairs, followed by Nikolai, who gave one last look at the door, as if expecting Twilight to burst in at any moment.

The two soon made it into the attic, which was completely dark. Nikolai began to feel around, tripping over various junk. The drunk felt several shards of glass stuck in various parts of his body.

"Ow! That hurt!" Nikolai cried out. Berry couldn't help but laugh.

"I'll be back with a firefly lantern," she assured. Nikolai began picking the tiny pieces of glass out of his skin and clothing, grunting in pain with each one, until Berry returned with a lantern and a smug grin.

"What's the matter? I thought you were a big, strong, manly Russian," she joked.

"With chest hairs, you can't forget about the chest hairs," Nikolai reminded.

If the house was a wreck, then the attic was a 20-car pile-up. Shattered glass was everywhere, along with plastic cups that had not been properly used in a long time. The wallpaper was once white, but had since been stained a deep brown in multiple spots. Nikolai hoped it wasn't coated by what he thought it was. There were no decorations, no windows, not even a single light source was found in the room. To top it off, it reeked of an indescribable stench that caused the drunk's nostrils to burn with fury.

Berry was taking it in as well, forgetting just how bad she had left it since the last time. "Yeah, I remember this. It was when I invited Derpy over to help clean the attic. One thing led to another, and we ended up causing the biggest mess!" She laughed. "But that's the last time I let her help me clean my house," she added with a more serious tone.

Nikolai moved some glass shards out of his way and sat down. "What is a drunk Russian to do in a situation like this? I can't exactly pass the time by killing zombies, you know."

Berry Punch noticed a notepad and pencil laying in the corner of the room. She grabbed it, blew the dust off, and handed it to Nikolai.

"Here, write a diary," she offered before trotting away awkwardly, leaving Nikolai alone in the attic.

. . .

Inside Twilight's library, Fluttershy was watching over the passed out alicorn with a concerned expression. Everyone else had gone out in search of Nikolai, but they had been gone for about an hour, and Fluttershy was beginning to get worried. She knew Nikolai had worked himself into a pickle with Twilight, but it would be better to get it over with now than to hide it for later.

The pegasus nodded to herself. Surely he would come around soon enough.

Twilight was beginning to stir already, despite not having that long to sleep. She sat up and groaned, eyeing Fluttershy.

"What happened?" She asked groggily.

"Uh, it's Nikolai. He-"

Twilight cut her off, remembering the absolutely horrific stunt that the human had tried to pull. It was an embarrassment to her, and just plain disrespectful to Celestia and Luna.

"Where is he?" She asked sternly. Fluttershy could only whimper in response.

Twilight was angry, but not combusting with rage yet. "I just need to talk to him. Maybe teach him a few things."

"Um, I'm sorry, Twilight, I really am, but the others haven't come back with him yet."

Twilight scrunched up slightly. "He left?"

Fluttershy hesitantly nodded.

Twilight sighed. "I'll be right back,"

A quick teleport sent Twilight to a secluded hillside just outside of Ponyville. The birds were chirping in perfect harmony, while the flowers were blooming in beautiful colors and smelling wonderful, and best of all, there were no ponies within earshot.

So peaceful.

Twilight then began to swear loudly with every known word in the dictionary. After she was done, she bit into a flower and chewed on it.

"Mmm, clovers, the perfect stress food!" She allowed a happy thought before teleporting back to Fluttershy. She had let all of her fury out on the hill, so she now appeared happier.

"I'm good now," Twilight offered. "But whenever Nikolai pokes his head out of wherever he's hiding, he'll be in for it," She added darkly.

Fluttershy wasn't quite sure how to respond to Twilight's sudden mood change, so she casually backed up to the door, opened it, and booked it away as fast as possible.

Author's Note:

I know it was a rather short chapter, but this time it was planned to be short. Next chapter will hopefully be much longer and kick of the second arc of the story. Thanks for reading! I have no idea when the next chapter will be out!

Comments

[Crazy Chocolate]

I'm going to have to look into this really soon, looks promising. Favorited and liked

[UglyTurnip]

4832534 Cause this story cheaply uses overused memes!

[bennygrey]

...lyra or twilight

Nikolai choose your fate