This is the weirdest episode yet, and that’s saying something. Twilight and her friends are stuck in a comic book that’s vaguely reminiscent of my favorite childhood cartoons.
“Did this actually happen?”
Twilight’s sitting on the couch with an apple balanced on her hoof. “Are you going to ask that during every episode?”
“You jumped into a comic book, that’s like every kid’s fantasy.”
“What about this part?” She gestures to the screen, where the crazed villain is tying up the beloved heroes.
“Oh come on, you’re here so you obviously made it out.”
“All thanks to Spike.”
“Isn’t that the point? I could see that moral coming after the first thirty seconds.”
“Just think about it from my perspective: I was pulled into a strange new place, my magic wouldn’t work, some insane pony starts trying to kill me…”
“I’m sure you got the hang of it by the end.”
She finishes off her apple and goes for another one.
“Like I said, all thanks to Spike. He actually spent a long time trying to teach us how to use our superpowers.”
“How is shooting energy beams any different from your normal magic?”
“That’s the only kind of magic I could do: no teleportation or moving objects around, just zapping stuff.”
“How is that a superpower?”
“Spike said my hero’s actually a pegasus, the superpower was using magic in the first place. Apparently it all had something to do with that silver thing I was wearing over my horn.”
“That’s kind of disappointing.”
“Why?”
“If you’re more powerful than a superhero already, what’s the point of dressing up like one?”
She shrugs. “It was worth it, for Spike’s sake.”
“That makes him sound like a kid, you said he’s just small for his age.”
“We were all in his comic book and he was still stuck playing sidekick. That stinks no matter how old you are.”
We sit there and watch for a few minutes. Pretty soon Spike swoops in and, as expected, saves the day. Seeing Fluttershy go berserk is the best part of this surreal ride.
“Was Spike depressed about this whole thing?”
She pauses the show and points to the screen. They’re back in the regular world now and everyone, even Spike, is smiling.
“By the end he was okay. As weird as the experience was, I’m glad it happened. We don’t focus on Spike enough.”
“Isn’t he your assistant? Could you do something about that?”
“That almost makes it worse. Half the time our conversations are about the chores.”
“You could give him some time off.”
“It wouldn’t help. Sure he’d spend some of it with Rarity, but he’d still stop by to see if I needed anything. He’s so loyal, even when I forget about his own needs.”
She’s tracing her hoof around her soda bottle's lip. Considering that she stands on those things, I don’t see how she hasn’t come down with the plague.
I reach for another apple. “So is the next episode this weird?”
She grins. “Weirder.”
“That isn’t possible.”
“I’ll bet you the last soda.”
“Deal.”
I lost the bet, of course, and Twilight was only too happy to guzzle her winnings in front of me. She’s lucky she looks so ridiculous holding a bottle in her hooves. For the second time tonight, Fluttershy has gotten herself transformed, and for the second time I’m not sure how to process it.
“She’s a bat.”
“Kind of.”
“Does she suck blood?”
“No. Just watch.”
After few more scenes I want to ask the blood question again. Fluttershy’s tearing around the orchard, terrorizing her friends like something out of a low budget horror movie.
“Did anyone die?”
“No! Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know, maybe the fact that Fluttershy’s trying to take somebody’s head off?”
“She was just scared.”
“She looks carnivorous.”
“She didn’t eat anypony! She only got mad when we tried to shoo her away from the apples.”
The show goes on, and so does Twilight’s explanation of all the glossed-over details. Most of them are just the finer points of trying and failing to trap a pony-sized bat. Eventually everything goes back to normal, just like it always does.
“You could’ve just built the bat sanctuary in the beginning.”
“I know, I know. In retrospect we really should’ve listened to Fluttershy. When it comes to the farm and family, Applejack’s a bit overprotective.”
“Was Fluttershy mad at her?”
“Are you kidding? Once she understood what happened, the first thing she said to Applejack was that she forgave her for the whole mess… well, actually that was the second thing. First, she apologized for getting turned into a bat.”
The lines that actually make me laugh rarely make it into the show, and that one is no exception. “What about Applejack?”
“She was upset for a few days, even if she wouldn’t admit it. Sure she can be stubborn, but she cares just as much as the rest of us do. She would’ve burned down the whole orchard to get Fluttershy back.”
“Heavy.”
“We got her back, that’s what matters.”
“Do you ever worry that one of your friends is going to get seriously hurt or die during one of these adventures?”
“Sometimes, but how is that different from any other day? Besides, I’d do everything I could to keep them safe. Even if it meant—what time is it?”
I glance at my watch. “About nine thirty. Worried Spike is throwing another party?”
“Worse. I need to get a letter to Cadence in the mail by tomorrow morning, and I’m only on the fifth draft.”
I shake my head as she hurries into the hallway. “She’s not going to grade you on your grammar and spelling.”
“She doesn’t need to, I do that myself.”
Somehow I’m not surprised by that.
this chapter came quick
Twilight WOULD grade herself
Excellent chapter as always!
4632394
Could've, probably should've.
I have a few (bad) reasons for it being a separate story:
- comments on the original complaining about stories that flip-flop between complete and incomplete.
- my own petty conviction that the original can stand on it's own as a one shot, as I originally intended.
I also have a semi-reasonable one:
- my fear that I wouldn't have this ready for many more months, leaving all of you stuck staring at an incomplete tag for a very long time. At least this way a sequel can pop out of the ether rather than a presumed dead and abandoned story finally picking up again.
Oh well. Either way this is what we're all stuck with now. Enjoy
I love the relationship between these two.
It's quiet, friendly... But it's there. Wouldn't have it any other way.
4631209
If I was in your position the romance tag would've worried me too. I tried to put some fears to rest with the note in the description that this wouldn't be a mushy or graphic story. Thanks for giving it a chance, let me know what you think as this progresses.
I like that you're letting their relationship just sort of be. Way to exercise self control.
Confound it why is this so good. Explain! Explain!
4635156 I dunno; nice as it is to see things like this, I get the feeling that this isn't going anywhere. It's just comments, headcanon and faux-headcanon, with a very small amount of human-pony interaction and character development thrown in. It's a good quick read for if you don't want anything heavy, but with the lack of conflict or overall plot to speak of, the entire thing sort of falls flat with me.
Of course, we ARE only on chapter two. This judgement is almost certainly premature, and I'm sure I'll change my mind four chapters in or so.
4635259 If you find an answer, plese tell me. I want to know, too!
I can't wait for his reaction to the second part of the finale.
4635493 You might be right, and I'm kind of okay with that. It's nice not to have to deal with world building and saving, clop that starts with "hey" and ends five paragraphs later with "and then they fucked", or whiteknighting some obscure, headcanon-riddled background pone. Honestly I'm not even sure I'd call these chapters so much as pensees on friendship. Plus you've got Twilight. Onna couch. Bitching at the TV. How adorable is that.
I'll tell you how adorable it is. It's this adorable.
i.4cdn.org/mlp/1404369195062.gif
This is pretty fun.
And I am pleasantly surprised with how mature you are with the premise "Twilight watches her own show and comments on what it gets wrong". A lot of authors would use that as a mouthpiece to rewrite every little bit of canon that they don't like.
I agree with the above comment. Love how you let the show be the show and this be this. Best part of the story!
nice
I wonder what Twilght's reaction to seeing Fluttershy's fang in the end was?
Alright, gonna give my analyses so far based on this and the first story. I agree with the general opinion that you are handling this admirably, just letting their relationship simply be and their interactions are surprisingly mundane and refreshing, although the romance is a foregone conclusion based on the tags and the groups this has been submitted to, thats not neccessarily a bad thing and I am looking forward to a romance where it is neither senseless clop nor "AND DEN DEY GAZED LONGINGINLY IN EACHOVVER'S iS" and simply something that is just burgeoning over time.
That said, based on what I read, this may be a one sided romance for the majority of it.
If Twilight is to be believed and she's visiting this world purely for research (very believable, its Twilight and you'd probably do the same if you could, if you found out aliens viewed your life as a TV show) and picked Jake because he wasn't a brony and didn't have any other neurotic tendencies which might concern her. (Again, believable and sensible, even if what she was doing to him was cruel by making him question his sanity). But that's likely not the only reason anymore, and that was before this sequel started. Especially after it became obvious that he DID NOT want her to come around anymore. Given the context, she KNEW Jake would find out sooner or later why she suddenly sprouted wings, but she wanted him to comment on them anyway, to otherwise notice her, a not so subtle sign she had ulterior motives for coming over. Sure, Jake came around and he is now more friendly towards her and that definitely shows in these two chapters.
Which is probably as far as its going to go for him unless something changes. Twilight looking up things on the internet for 'research'? Again believable, having a bad reaction when she stumbles across porn? Believable. But its implied she's done in multiple times. Supposedly by accident. Subtle, Twilight, subtle, she probably never heard curiosity killed the cat but apparantly Jake didn't catch on anyway so she's good. I am just waiting for the moment Jake waits for Twilight to pop up and only run into Celestia who is wondering where her former student disappears to every other friday with a burst of magic strong enough to teleport across dimensions.
Either way: Moar plz.
I have to wonder if any of her pals wonder where she vanishes to for an hour or two every two weeks...
A fun read.
I eagerly await future chapters!
I think you meant 'no' instead of 'now'. :P
I am liking these.
4636098 I know
But fluttershy should have been eating ponies
I like this: it's cute, and nicely written. I am wondering, though, if you intend to go anywhere with it. At the moment we're just getting little feelers here and there that don't add much to the 'romance' aspect, much less the friendship. The chapters are only around 1000+ words, though, so maybe I'm just being impatient.
4637423 Better yet, he could bring over a new girl friend (not a girlfriend), and watch the sparks fly from one direction as the surprise at a) a talking, winged unicorn is sitting on the couch watching TV and b) acting jealous of her, renders her speechless, at least for a few moments. Fun for all.
4637542 And then they had sex. The End.
There ya go!
4638714 Heh, I'm not that impatient!
Nothing new or noteworthy in this one...
Loved the banter, though. Felt very natural.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4669613 I don't intend to offend, but why do you always put your signature at the bottom of comments? I feel like you don't think we were able to read it the first time. You're a notable person, but not enough that you need to sign your autograph at the bottom of every comment.
Fruit bats are tropical creatures, living where there is fruit all year long. Apples grow in colder regions, and ripen in the fall. I sort of wondered what happened to the bats a few weeks later, when the apple crop was finished, and there was no other fruit for hundreds, or possibly thousands of miles around for the bats to eat. Perhaps they starved to death, and their bodies helped fertilize the apple orchard for the next year.
I'm laughing, this is great, nice going! :D
eheh
I like the slow-burn, slice-of-life feel of this thing - it's wonderfully different to what I typically go for. I'm also quite enjoying the somewhat somber tone - the clash between the cartoon show and what "really goes on" is delicious, and brings to mind various dramatised biographies and historical retellings "based on actual events". :-)
I feel like it adds some much-needed weight to the show itself - this is somehow actually going on, in the background. I know it's a bit of an Inception-esque encapsulation at play - I mean, it doesn't really, just within this story - but it works.
And I just wonder... I mean, I'd probably be a little freaked out if I found an alien culture that produces thinly-veiled porn of my species... but in all seriousness, it's something worth researching. I'm perfectly serious, here - it'd be an aspect of their culture I'd probably want to know quite a bit about, as sexual fantasies are commonly a very powerful driving force. Goes with manipulation like a forest on fire.
I'm just wondering if Twi's being a touch childish here, about it - freaky, sure, but otherwise perfectly normal and rather expected. Her frequent issues with it may actually point to an issue she herself has.
Besides, an off-hoof comment about some percentage of it being "anatomically accurate" (and that being the nicest thing she can say about it ;P) would probably be hilarious.
A very good question.