Day 1,2 and 3
Starswirl and the Purple Terror
By ValdimarGreen
Day 1
The chalk moved over the blackboard, outlining the basic relation between nexus acceleration and the magical fields angular momentum. Starswirl the Bearded frowned, something was missing… but what? He glanced at the list of data collected from the experiments this morning. Nope, something was definitely wrong… either with his own measurements or with the equation itself. Dismissing the former as impossible, he shot a glare at the offending equation. Its was complete jibber jabber, the simpleton who had discovered the relation must have limited his range of tests to weak acceleration only.
Starswirl swore loudly and flung the chalk across the room. He would have to go back through all the work he had ever done using the equation and add the notation: Results only reliable with acceleration less than two solar units per square second. Starswirl the Bearded took a deep breath, as he tried in vain to quell his rage. This is what he got for relying on the work of other ponies.
Since the breathing exercises hadn't produced any real result, Starswirl decided that writing a strongly worded letter was the only solution. He would make it a really nasty one with words such as: nincompoop, lummox and flibbertigibbet. Starswirl rubbed his hooves together in eager anticipation. It was time for a reckoning.
He wouldn't actually send it of course, but he liked to pretend that he would.
Suddenly there was a flash of white light behind him. He spun around and saw a dazed looking purple unicorn sitting on the carpet. Who was this? Where had she come from? The window? He somehow doubted it, he had built his mage tower three times taller than normal for the express purpose of discouraging visitors.
He eyed the unicorn warily, she was probably selling something. And whatever it was, he wanted no part of it.
The purple unicorn, coming out of her daze and noticing Starswirl, shot to her hooves. “Hello my name is Twilight Sparkle,” she said excitedly.
Starswirl opened his mouth to reply, but was immediately interrupted as a stream of words gushed out of the mare, “Oohh and its really you, I can’t believe the spell actually worked. But it did! And here you are! Or rather here I am! Twilight Sparkle, but I already said that didn't I. Silly me! It’s such an honor to finally meet you, I'm your biggest fan.” She seemed to realize that she was babbling and went quiet.
Starswirl blinked, his mind quickly sorting through the new information. “You are my biggest… what now?”
“Fan,” she replied, eyes glittering, “Deriving from the word fanatic, it describes a pony with enthusiastic devotion in regards to something. Like a nice stalker that's not creepy at all.”
“I see...” Starswirl said slowly, as he took a careful step backwards. “So... what do you want?” he asked before mentally adding, Please let it be something minor… He had never been any good at dealing with ponies, especially mares. The fact that he apparently had a stalker of said gender, wasn't a little unsettling.
“Oh its nothing really!” Twilight said, waving a dismissive hoof, “I just want to observe you, while you work. Don’t worry, I will be quiet as a mouse. You won't even know I'm here.”
Starswirl shivered, he did not like the sound of that, not one bit. He needed to dissuade her, “Now listen here…” He was interrupted as the purple unicorn rushed past him and stared up at the blackboard.
“Oh wow! Is that your beginning analysis of THE magical field acceleration problem?” she asked.
“Yes...” he replied cautiously, “But how do you know about that?”
“I'm your biggest fan, remember? I know everything you ever did or will ever do!” Twilight said with a big grin.
“But how is that even possible?” Starswirl asked, baffled.
Twilight turned to him excitedly, “Oh, didn’t I say? I'm from the future. I combined my own teleportation spell with with your time travel one! Of course, since I needed something with longer duration, I had to encase it all in a 5-layered spellmatix for the extra power to be effectively utilized.”
Starswirl stared at the purple unicorn in shock. Time travel? Teleportation? A FIVE layered spellmatrix? They were all impossible, he had dismissed each one of them in the early stages of development.
Twilight blinked, taking in Starswirl's reaction. Then she sat down, slapping her forehooves over her mouth. “Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, was I? You haven't discovered them yet...”
“What else have I discovered?” Starswirl asked.
“Nothing” she replied quickly, her eyes looking everywhere but at Starswirl.
Starswirl frowned before he opened his mouth to ask again. But he was interrupted as the purple unicorn began glowing. She grinned sheepishly, “Looks like my time is up. But don’t worry, I will be back!”
And with a ‘poof’ she was gone. Starswirl stared at the spot for a long moment. Well, that had definitely been time travel or at least teleportation. Wait… was she planning on just popping in on him whenever she felt like it? Starswirl felt a rising dread within him, how was he supposed to deal with this?! After thinking hard for a few moments, he allowed himself a small smile, he would simply approach it the same way he approached all new problems; with a brainstorm chart and a lot of coffee.
Day 2
Starswirl levitated the chalk over the blackboard, trying desperately to ignore Twilight Sparkles intense stare from behind him. He had been such a fool, after eight cups of coffee the day before he had concluded; that telling her to sod off, was the only reasonable solution. But when he had tried to do it however, her eyes seemed to grow larger and brighter. He could have sworn that there had been actual stars twinkling inside… Anyway, he hadn’t had the heart to go through with it, and had instead ended up giving her leave to come and go as she pleased. And now he was paying the price.
The chalk slowly traced the beginnings of a number three on the board. There was a loud throat clearing behind him. One of Starswirl's eyes twitched, he erased the number three and wrote the number four instead. “Uhhumm uhhhheeeem,” came the sound again.
Starswirl spun around, “Is there something amiss, Miss Sparkle?”
The purple unicorn looked taken aback, “NO, of course not! Why would there be?”
Starswirl narrowed his eyes at her. She looked a bit sheepish before amending, “Okey, maybe there is just this teeny tiny thing… ”
“What?” Starswirl asked from behind gritted teeth.
“Thirteen times four is fiftytwo,” Twilight replied awkwardly.
Starswirl felt himself blush with embarrassment. Bollocks.
Day 3
“What did you base solar units on anyway? I only know they were abandoned after three hundred years for being imprecise,” Twilight said, frowning.
“You must be mistaken,” Starswirl replied sounding annoyed, “There can’t possibly be a more precise unit of measurement since its based on the immortal and eternal Princess Celestia.”
“It is?” Twilight asked, sounding intrigued.
“Yes, one solar unit, is the precise distance between the Princesses chest and her rump.” Starswirl replied.
The purple unicorn was silent for a long moment as she processed that. “What if she begins gorging herself on cake?”
“What is ‘cake’ ?” Starswirl asked.
“Nevermind, its nothing,” Twilight said “I guess they haven't been discovered yet”.
Starswirl turned back to his work, “Then, could you please refrain from further interruptions, I'm trying to work here.”
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Celestia alias the pony who when she takes weigh, screw the whole metric system
*Snrerk.*
*Giggle*
Celestia screwed up the system of measurement by eating too much cake? I wonder what happens when she tells Celestia...
Much good.
I usually comment after I read all of published story, but this is... I don't even have words for that. Solar units, wow, just.. left me speechless.
dis gon b gud
The cake bit at the end of the first chapter earned you an upvote.
Like a nice stalker that's not creepy at all!!
Brilliant!!! 
4623625 she'd likely laugh
He thought 13 * 4 = 53? 4 is even. 53 is odd.
When you mess up on multiplication, you don't end up off by one.
Why is he even dealing with numbers that big? It's rare for equations to have numbers larger than three. If he's calculating something using the measurements, then he shouldn't be using integers.
4669176 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/43140274.jpg
this is such a great story concept i am kicking myself for not coming up with it.
4622971
...
okay, so, I'm going to analyse this for... 'science', we'll say.
'Celestia', the name of the princess, okay, good start... 'alias', if I were to insert some punctuation, one might be tempted to conclude that this is intended to convey the idea that what comes after is another name for Celestia...
I guess that's as good an explanation as any...
'the pony who when she takes weigh'
uh
Okay, so, editing for grammar, spelling, and logic, I think we're looking at 'the pony who, when she gains weight,'
'screw the whole'
close, but in this case you should use 'screws', not 'screw', as you're referring to an action the past/present tense, not the future.
'metric system'
Unfortunately, no. This is clearly meant to be a dig at the imperial system of measurement, as that was, quite literally, based on measures taken from the king. Somewhat more entertainingly, the american imperial system is even further screwed over by the fact that, among other things, their gallon is based on the quantity of liquid found in an 'imperial gallon' of wine shipped from Britain to pre-independance America- which, as even the simplest understanding of physics could tell you, ends up being quite a lot less after the wood absorbs some of the wine, and evaporation takes another portion.
For comparison, the metric system is entirely based around water, and relationships in it, though I'll admit to not having the original information on hand. The one I can remember is that one ton is roughly the weight of a one cubic meter volume of water, though you'd have to check me on that one.
The more you know(And knowing i half the battle!)
On the subject of the story- it's worth noting that, in terms of earth history, long before 'cake', as it is currently known, came to be, nobles(and particularly royals) dined on a substance called 'cake'(Though I believe the spelling was different), which was essentially bread with additional fatty and rich ingredients added in, such as egg.
This is, interestingly, the origin of the quote 'let them eat cake'- a political philosopher attributed the quote to 'a princess', in order to parody the disconnect and lack of understanding between the nobles, and particularly the royals, and the common man.
Though, given the nature of the time period it was written in, and the nature of education of the time, I can't help but wonder how deep that disconnect ran in that author... The Ivory Tower isn't entirely metaphorical, after all.
Those Solar units... That takes the cake.
I don't like commenting a chapter if it's not the final one but goddamit man! Dat system of measurement!
Is that what she told her brother?
Who would be so chaotic to ruin the pony metric system, and specifically with sweets?
Oh... right
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/20/303354/full.jpeg
YOU CANNOT MEASURE ANYTHING IN THIS UNIT! TIME IS A CONSTANT!
5823311 We talking about Equestria remember? It and Physics, or logic, aren't really that close.
He developed time travel as a survival mechanism due to her, hasn't he?
solar unit... Is that a reference to origin of railroad track width?