Fugue
Who you Work for
Ch. 27
Coco followed behind Fang as they went through the winding castle hallways. They walked in silence as they came closer to the sound of the horrifying organ. Coco was curious as to why Chrysalis was dancing to such a loud instrument. As for Fang, he was still flustered by Coco's kiss; his fang still burned and his cheeks blushed brightly. Others who passed by the two either snickered or spoke under their breath. But despite the other changelings' reaction to him and his friend, nothing seemed to get under the changeling's skin after what Coco had done. Perhaps she was his love bug. He didn't know.
And neither did she.
In Coco's mind, she pondered why the queen was dancing. As she recalled what Fang said, the changeling told her that it was no happy dance. The pony wondered how anypony or... anything could be dancing sadly. It was a rogue concept to Coco as she tried to imagine somepony dance with a sad attitude. Or even angry.
“STOP!” the queen roared loudly. In an instant, the organ music came to a halt. The mare stopped in her tracks, her eardrums ringing loudly as the sound of Chrysalis’s voice blasted into them. She clenched her eyes tightly in hopes that the pain might go away sooner.
“Are you alright?” Fang spoke.
Coco Pommel opened her eyes slowly to see her friend staring at her. His overgrown tooth didn't burn with red anymore. Fang was able to get over his flustered attitude when he noticed the mare was in pain.
“I'm alright, thanks,” she replied as she looked up at him and gave the stallion a smile.
Fang grinned back as the pony looked at him. He then turned around. “We are almost there.”
He began to walk forward and Coco quickly moved after him. “Where are we going in particular?” Coco asked.
“The ballroom,” he answered.
Coco raised her brows. “You have a ballroom?”
“Yes. We sometimes have events there, but only rarely.”
“How come?”
“We don't normally have things to celebrate,” Fang frowned.
With haste, Coco walked up beside the changeling. He looked at her as she came into view. “Maybe,” Coco began, “you can celebrate the day Chrysalis makes a treaty with Princess Celestia... well if the day comes.”
Fang's right brow rose. “And what makes you think that might happen?”
A smile grew on the pony's face. “You did say I may be the answer to Chrysalis' problems.”
“That might happen,” Fang agreed. “It would be nice if you were to be celebrated by a race of changelings.”
“I would also be the first pony to be celebrated by changelings as well you know.”
Fang nodded. “I do think that would be interesting.” The changeling stopped in his tracks. “I do believe you can help the queen.”
“You think so?” Coco asked as the two looked at one another.
Fang grinned widely exposing his sharp teeth. “I already answered that question you silly questionmare.”
The pony bumped her flank into his as she played along with his teasing.
“And by the way,” Fang continued, “don't tell me not to get upset about others telling us we are lovebugs if you are going to get bothered by me and others calling you the questionmare.”
Coco Pommel rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” The mare and stallion both looked away from each other to hide their blush as the word “lovebug” stuck in their mind. But the word quickly fled Fang's mind as he began to approach a corner that went to the right.
“We are just about there,” Fang spoke.
“Oh, okay,” Coco responded as the word "lovebug" fled her mind.
Turning to the right, a large door showed itself at the end of a long hallway. It was tall and looked quite intimidating. The artwork that was upon the large seal were wrought-iron bars that twisted and reached out like angry roots digging through the dirt. The giant door almost felt like something monstrous was behind it; though some could argue that Queen Chrysalis could be quite monstrous on her own.
A changeling stood on each side of the door, each holding a spear. As Coco and Fang approached, they both noticed that the two guards who stood watch at the door had a hint of nervousness on their faces.
“What is she doing here?” the guard on the left spoke as he pointed his spear at Coco. The pony froze at the sight of the sharp weapon looking at her chest, her eyes wide and afraid.
Before Fang was about to interject with hot flames and sharp teeth in order to protect his friend, the guard on the right spoke, “You idiot! Don’t point that at her!” The right guard looked at the door before resuming his statement. “Didn’t you hear? She has befriended Queen Chrysalis. This pony is now very close to the queen.”
In an instant, the left guard changed his attitude. “M-my apologies.” He bowed his head. “I have been ignorant in knowing the news about you, pony.”
A smile grew on Coco’s face. “No worries.” She glanced at Fang who glared at the left guard. Coco gently nudged him to grab his attention. “Don’t be mad at him. He didn’t know.”
Despite her words, Fang was still angry with the changeling. How dare he threaten the guest of Queen Chrysalis. Even though the ignorant guard deserved a punishment for jabbing his pointy weapon at the pony, Fang didn't want to create any commotion, especially when the queen is dancing. “Now, allow us to enter,” Fang spoke coldly.
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” the right guard requested. “If you hadn’t heard, Queen Chrysalis is quite bothered with something. You know how she is when she dances.”
“AGAIN!” the queen roared. The sound was so loud that is made Coco Pommel stumble and fall over.
Quickly, Fang was at her side to help her up. “Coco, are you alright?” he asked as he pulled her up.
“Just… a little dizzy…” Coco’s head swayed around as she tried to regain stability in her neck. She was surprised that the loud shout made her nearly faint. Once she was able to stiffen her neck, Coco looked to Fang. “Maybe I should check up on her.”
He nodded. As Coco reached for the door, Fang warned, “Just…” The mare looked at the changeling as he stared at her. “…be careful.”
“I will.” With all her might, she pulled on the door. Its weight was heavy and crawled slowly as it opened. After quickly losing all of her strength, Coco saw that she had barely cracked the door open. However, it was just enough for her to squeeze through.
Upon entering, Coco’s eyes widened. The room was massive. The ceiling was high and had stalagmites on the ceiling that stabbed downward like a trap waiting to be deactivated. A large golden chandelier hung from the high ceiling. In each of its six arms held a large light-blue orb of light that shined brightly and illuminated the entire room. The tile was a simple black and white checkered pattern that stretched across the room. As for the room itself, it was very empty. There were only two things that stood out to the pony: on the opposite side of the ballroom was an organ. It stood tall with its pipes that almost touched the stalagmites that hung from above. Coco wondered how such a large thing could be fit into the room, but decided not to.
The other thing that stood out to Coco Pommel was not Queen Chrysalis who stood at the center of the room; it was a filly changeling that was posed in front of the large changeling. Both Chrysalis and the filly were dressed in beautiful attire. The queen wore her light-turquoise dress that she wore when Coco met her. The gold necklace shined as the lights reflected off of it and the sapphire gem remained a deep dark-blue as it sat in the middle of the jewelry. What surprised Coco was that the filly was dressed in the same attire that Chrysalis wore.
Who is this filly? Why is she dressed the same as Chrysalis?
“Get ready,” the queen spoke.
“Yes my queen,” replied a voice that game from the organ.
Queen Chrysalis stamped her hoof on the floor once. In that moment, the filly stood with her left front hoof off the ground. Her head held up high. She looked fearless. Unafraid.
Chrysalis stamped her hoof again and posed herself. She stood over the little one and held her head high as well with her eyes closed.
Then, a horrible sound came.
The organ roared to life as sound burst from it. The moment it began, both Chrysalis and the filly moved. The first three notes that played made them move three steps from their original position. Then the organ picked up the pace and sped up, then hung in the air. With each note being played, the queen and child took a step, spinning their bodies with the music.
The sound then paused briefly. Despite the volume of the organ, Coco Pommel watched at the door, amused by the dancing.
A noise came from the organ. Both dancers took a step. Then another noise overlapped the previous sound. Another step. Another sound. Another step. The sound grew and grew with a faster pace until it roared so loud, it vibrated Coco Pommel to the core. Noise hung in the air before it calmed down.
Amidst the pause, the dancers held a proud pose. Elegant, yet powerful.
Without warning the instrument sounded again and picked up speed. But despite this, Chrysalis and the filly stepped with every note being played.
A pause.
The organist repeated the same notes. And again, the same amount of steps were taken. The musician then played a rapid number of notes and made the two dancers move slower than usual. After the music slowed down, it began to roar loudly once again.
Coco was beginning to respect the music even though it made her ears hurt. She also admired how both the queen and filly were able to move in sync so well.
Another roar erupted from the organ, followed by silence. Then the speed of the organ increased. Both dancers moved wildly as they kept up with the tempo of the organist’s notes. Their heads swayed up and down. Left and right. Their bodies swinging like a violent pendulum. Coco herself felt moved by the music as well but not in the dancing matter. It was inspiring as it was horrifying.
The music continued, moving up and down with speed. But again, speed of the notes matched the movement of the two dancers.
Once more, the organ roared with anger. A quick series of notes were played, followed by a cluster of aggressive notes that screamed in the ballroom. Coco could tell that the music had changed tone. It sounded evil and frightening as many sounds both slow and fast erupted from the instrument. The tempo eventually slowed down as the organist played their horrible notes. Each time the organist hit a cluster of notes, Coco pictured the changeling slamming their hooves on the instrument in order to get it to play louder. And with each note, the dancers stamped their hooves on the tile floor. Their expressions were angry, reflecting the tone of the music. However, just when the the music was at the pinnacle of creepy, the musician played a harmonious conclusion as the filly and queen faced each other and bowed their heads, kneeling to the ground with closed eyes.
Coco Pommel couldn’t help but clap her hooves together. She was impressed by the entire performance that was dealt with in front of her. Unaware of her presence, Chrysalis jerked her head toward the pony. Instead of getting angry, the queen smiled and asked, “Did you enjoy what you witnessed?”
“Very much,” Coco smiled. The pony looked for the filly who danced with Chrysalis. Sure enough, the child stood beside the queen. “Who is she?”
Chrysalis looked down at the little one. “This is Teethling. You remember her, right?”
Gasping, Coco Pommel took a few steps forward. When the changeling was in sight, she immediately recognized the child. “Oh, hello there.” Happy to see a familiar face, the pony quickened her pace and went toward the two dancers.
Teethling blushed brightly as her eyes shimmered behind her long mane that blocked her eyes. “You… liked my dancing?”
“It was very well done.” The child became more flustered and tried to hide her blushing face by hiding behind Chrysalis. Coco giggled at the cute action.
“I do agree,” the queen responded, trying to get a view of Teethling. However, Chrysalis’ dress was making it difficult to see the little one.
Chrysalis then felt her dress shuffle, then a tickle from her underbelly. Teethling had crawled below the queen.
“But… didn’t I anger you?” Teethling asked. Her voice was muffled by the dress as she stood inside it. “I mean… you were yelling… Was I not dancing well?”
Teethling couldn’t see the queen smile as she continued to hide. “You danced very well,” Chrysalis answered. “I was the one who was out of step and frustrated with my own misalignment.”
The young one poked her head out of Chrysalis’ dress and looked up at her. “Really?”
“Would you believe me if I let you wear my crown for a moment?”
Teethling couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Teethling’s mouth was wide open in disbelief as she watched her queen remove her crown and place it upon her head. Taking in a deep breath, the child squealed as she shook with happiness.
“Thank you Queen Chrysalis,” Teethling giggled unable to contain her excitement.
“Why don’t you go to your mother. I am sure she would love to see her princess,” the queen winked.
With nothing holding the changeling back, Teethling ran out of Chrysalis dress and through the empty ballroom. Coco followed the child with her eyes and saw Teethling run toward a changeling who stood by the organ. The pony didn’t notice the mother’s presence at all as the Chrysalis danced with Teethling.
“So,” Chrysalis spoke to Coco, raising a brow, “you wish to ask me something, yes?”
The pony giggled a little.
“Well, being the questionmare that I am, I’m sure you are not surprised that I went out of my way to ask you a question.”
“You are too predictable,” Chrysalis grinned. “So, what is it you wish to ask?”
Coco Pommel thought about what Fang said. “Fang told me that you were dancing, so I came to watch you.”
“Alright.”
“He also said that you were dancing sadly.”
“Yes I was.”
The changeling waited for a question to be asked.
“I just…” Coco looked over to Teethling, watching her admire her crown as the mother watched. “Are you feeling okay?”
The large changeling looked down at the pony as if she was about to seal her fate. Chrysalis slowly took in a deep breath and let out a slow sigh. “I am not.” Slowly, Chrysalis moved her head and looked at Teethling. She stared at her as the mother looked so proud of her daughter. “I am not feeling ‘okay…’”
“What’s wrong then?” Coco asked as she looked at her friend earnestly.
“I am sure you remember the story I told you and your former employer. The one about my daughter.”
“Yes,” Coco nodded. “I happened to visit the garden when you left me with Fang and Sea More.”
A smile grew on Chrysalis’ face. “Lovely is it not?”
“Mmhmm. I even saw Beauty Fly’s statue.”
Like a candle being snuffed of its light, so did Chrysalis’ bright smile as it quickly fled. She turned her head away from Coco and stared at the floor. “It haunts me…”
“What does?” Coco asked.
“Just…” Chrysalis cleared her throat. A fake smirk came onto the queen’s face and Coco could tell her friend was wearing a false facade. “One moment.” Walking away from the pony, the tall leader went to the child and mother.
Coco remained still as she watched the queen go to the mother and child. She heard Chrysalis speak but could only make out very few words like “wish” and “alone.” I wonder if Chrysalis’ daughter has something to do with her current attitude.
As fast as her little feet would walk, Teethling went to Coco with the crown still on her head. “I have to go. Chrysalis wants to talk to you alone.”
The pony was at a loss of words. She could have figured that Chrysalis wanted to speak with her, but didn’t know how to reply to the child. While Coco thought of what to say, Teethling took off the crown and gave it to her. “Give this back to Queen Chrysalis. Okay?”
Coco only nodded as she took hold of the ancient head wear. Teethling then jogged over to the large door and waited for her parent. The mother walked past Coco only to smile at her before walking to the kid. Another changeling followed the mare. His mane was very wild and messy. Coco could only guess he was the organist.
They both took their time as they went to the large wrought-iron decorated exit. A loud creak came from the door hinges when it slowly opened. Coco saw the two adults stare at her before making their leave. The last one to depart was Teethling who gave the pony a wave, then scrambled out of the ballroom.
Then Coco was now alone. Alone with the queen.
She turned to see the queen looking at the massive organ. Chrysalis didn’t bother to see if her friend was still there; she knew Coco wouldn’t leave her.
With nothing left to do, the pony walked over to the changeling. As she came close, Coco spoke from behind, “So what seems to be the matter?”
A sigh, yet no reply. Chrysalis remained stagnant as she continued to look at the instrument. Grabbing her attention, Coco placed a hoof on the queen’s shoulder. “You said ‘it haunts me’ a few moments ago. What does that mean?”
The queen looked down at her friend with a sad look in her eyes. “The memory of my daughter. That is what haunts me.”
“Why does it haunt you?”
Anger now burned in Chyrsalis’ emerald orbs. “Because that princess that everypony praises is sitting in a happy palace while she hides the fact that she took my daughter’s life!”
Coco frowned, “Is that all?”
“No. There is more…”
The mare walked in front of Chrysalis. “You can tell me.”
A light smile grew from the changeling’s lips. “I am glad you are here. I never get to vent like this.”
Coco mimicked her friend’s expression and said, “What are friends for?”
“You tell me, Ms. Questionmare.” Both mares laughed before resuming their discussion.
“Okay, so what else is making you feel this way?”
A glance to the organ and then back to Coco. “I just miss my daughter…” Chrysalis’ ears fell back. “Is there anything wrong with that?”
“No, it is not,” Coco answered. “But why did you dance and why with Teethling?”
“I like to exhaust myself of my sorrow by dancing. As for Teethling, she and a select few dance with me as I used to with Beauty Fly.”
“You dance with other fillies in your daughter’s absence, don't you?”
Coco then saw Queen Chrysalis’ face writhe into a depressed frown and began to cry. “You don't know what it is like, Coco! To watch the one you raised die in front of you!” Like a magnet, Coco was quickly against her friend as she reached an arm around the queen’s neck.
“Every… single… TIME I even think about my dear Beauty Fly, the floodgates of past pains flood over me! And I abhor Princess Celestia for not giving us love that harsh winter.”
The pony felt warm tears crash into her shoulder as she allowed Chrysalis to lament. The queen inhaled a harsh breath of air and sighed. She had no more words to say.
“I…” Coco began cautiously, “...know you dislike Princess Celestia to the fullest, but I remember you saying that… umm… Left Wing-”
“What about him?” Chrysalis spoke harshly, offended that her friend would dare speak his name.
“R-right! Umm…” The outburst caught Coco off guard and made her stumble over her words. “So, didn't you say before that you hated him the most?”
Chrysalis stepped backwards, making Coco remove her soft grip from her friend. The pony saw the queen’s eyes; they were slightly red from all the sobbing Chrysalis had done. Her eyes looked like an emerald that had red roots infecting it like a virus.
“I do hate him the most,” the changeling answered. “But as I said before, he is dead and I don't need to think about him. What he did was what he did and that is that.”
“Well- never mind,” Coco spoke but stopped mid-sentence.
“You were going to say that Beauty Fly is dead as well and that I should move on as I did with Left Wing,” Chrysalis said as she read her friend. “I can see in your eyes that is what you were going to say.”
“Y-yeah…” Coco sighed and looked at the ground. “But I know why you can't stop thinking about Beauty Fly.”
“And what answer do you have for me?”
“Because you loved her,” Coco smiled.
Chrysalis saw her friend grin and couldn't help but smile back. “Yes. I loved my child so much. I loved everything about her. I just don't want her memory to fade. She was a hero during that harsh winter after all.”
“Then remember that instead of what Princess Celestia did.”
That statement only made Chrysalis angry. Her eyes leered at Coco as if she betrayed her. “Apparently I was not clear a few moments ago,” Chrysalis spoke coldly. “I watched my child die in front of me. She starved to death! I think my anger is justified.”
The pony couldn't argue with the queen at this point. Coco knew that despite Beauty Fly’s permanent absence, Chrysalis was still a mother at heart; at least, somewhere in her heart.
Coco looked away from Chrysalis, not sure what to say next.
“I appreciate you trying to help me move forward and not be so hurt about Beauty Fly,” the queen spoke and made her friend looked back at her. “But because of Celestia’s act against me, my daughter, and the entire changeling race, I have a reason to dislike her.”
“But… will you at least try and reason with her like you said you would” Coco pleaded.
“I will try,” Chrysalis nodded. “But anything could happen when I do try and converse with her when she knows who I really am.”
“Just do, don't try,” the pony said, not allowing Chrysalis to make a casual attempt of mending a broken wall.
The changeling looked up at the organ that loomed over herself and Coco. “I never take orders from anychangeling or pony.” She then turned to the mare with a smile. “Though, you are the exception to this rule I guess.”
Coco giggled, “Thanks.”
“Thank you for being a good friend to me.” Chrysalis went up to Coco and pulled her in close with her long arm. Coco’s face pressed hard against the queen's torso, though she didn't care.
After absorbing some of Coco’s love, Chrysalis removed herself from her friend and looked down to the pony. “Shall we be going?”
“Yes.” Both mares began to walk toward the wrought-iron door.
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Them feels. Good that she has an outlet for her emotions that hurts nobody.
Also, change sealing to ceiling.
I believe you meant wrought iron, not rot iron. Other than that, excellent chapter.
7090725 i feel so dumb that i can write a decent story, but make simple mistakes like using the improper word. Curse homophones...
7090927 thanks again for pointing out some errors.
And at the end of what you have written so far. Hopefully the action picks up a little bit because this has only been a few days in-story time thus far and we still have a few days to go before we even get to the Grand Galloping Gala, which is what I imagine a lot of your readers are waiting on.
The first five chapters were pretty strong, then it degenerated a lot from there. Bite-sized chapters are alright, but it feels like there's a cliffhanger moment every other chapter, which gets to be rather annoying.
The dialogue in the story feels a little bit stilted. I can't quite put my finger on what precisely is the problem, just that it feels off. Part of it may be that no character ever really speaks more than four or five lines at a time before another character gets the chance to talk, or how so much of the story is consumed by dialogue in what is a very dialogue-heavy story versus written action.
7147494 Oh you and your jokes!
7148030 That is true, she should have told Celestia that. Sometimes it is easy to overlook details like that.
7148406 By action and dialogue, you mean that there is more talking and not a whole lot of doing things, correct? I can understand what you mean by the first five being strong and then it starts to go down a little:
First, the length. The first five have a huge chunk of things happening during them. The newer chapters are much shorter, that I know. My reason for doing that is keeping the reader hanging on a cliffhanger intentionally to want the next chapter more eagerly. The problem that I can see with this is that each chapter that I release is inconsistent; about one chapter a month. I think that more should be put into a chapter. But of course, I have my life and can only do so much. However, recently, I have a job that gives me more elbow room to work on my chapters. Let's just hope for my sake that I write chapters even though I am afraid of doing so for some reason.
And second, lack of action. Like you said, lots of talking. My intention for this is because it is prequel (the second one at that and I promise there will be plenty more in the other two I hope to get writing.) This prequel is to get a background on characters before starting the first act.
I GREATLY appreciate what you have imputed and commented on thus far on my story. It makes me happy to see someone give great critique so that I may better myself in my writing. After all, I am doing this so that I may make my own stories that I have mustered up over the last five years of my life, including fan fiction and original content. People like you motivate me to get better and want to wright. Thanks.
Now enough about mushy emotions. What do you think about my reply to your criticism?
7156775 Hey, at least you replied to my comments. There are some stories where I leave a lot of comments and the author doesn't respond at all
7157283 Content creators should at least acknowledge certain critisizm, especially when someone like yourself goes all out with the comments.
Stalagmites rise from the ground, stalactites hang from the ceiling