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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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foreshadowing future (or past) events maybe
4617593
Can't do both? lol
not sure if you can foreshadow past events though...
4617755 not sure what the word was for it so i just said foreshadow
4617755 and you techinically can if they have amnesia
4617767
lol, another down vote... I guess i pissed someone off
whatever... (if they don't leave comments, fuck-em. They can troll it all they want)
I suppose that's true, interesting thought.
4617799 maybe they didn't read the AN at the beginning of the chapter.
+ Amnesia = new ideas at new opputunities
Loved the sex scene. This story, along with those before it are amazing. That is all.
4630467
I was worried it might feel forced and contrived. Howerer the overall feedback has been positive.
As always, thanks for the comments!
Ch 4 7/12 of the way done!
Yes, LOVED the sex scene, please do it again!!! Really good, still my favorite author here!!
The sex scene was awesome, but I really did not have any doubt. The last chapter was awesome as well, I do feel sorry for Rainbow though, I am surprised that she did not do anything to the waiter though. I also feel bad for Icraus, because not only he was the victim of his wife's wrath but now Rainbow is home and I have a huge feeling that he is in a world of hurt. I certainly do not trust that Sunshine that talked to Twilight though, something is fishy especially when Twilight needed to go to ponyville. Keep up the good work and as for your question: Yes you should totally do more sex scenes.....when they fit in the plot of course just like this one. Cannot wait to read more!!!!!!!!!!
Really solid chapter, one of the stronger ones in the series so far. Sex scene was quite well done in regards to your goals. It was tasteful and romantic. My biggest gripe with this chapter was the short section near the end between Ataxia and Shimmering Night when they finally hugged. That whole section seemed more forced and unnatural than normal. I understand the need to bring these characters together, but found the choice of using a guest bedroom as the setting to be unmemorable.
Suggested edits
Firstar should be Firestar
5927710
Corrected,
Looking at it, I might just be able to delete that scene without losing anything. What do you think?
D'awwwwww
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I always thought it goes without "a".
as pretty.
I didn't understand it
Also, i dont think "too" is needed, 'cause i see nobody watching him at that moment.
No need in "d".
through.
pp.vk.me/c622819/v622819733/28c50/GrXmgBly2fA.jpg