Nightmare Moon's Tiny Adversary
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Chapter 4
Part 2
“You big meanie! Who do you think you are, eating my friend like that?” Fluttershy demanded, sounding akin to a mother scolding her child. “You should be ashamed of yourself, picking on smaller creatures and bullying them like that.”
The manticore stared back, its chewing immediately stopping. It soon found that it couldn’t pull away from the firm, disappointed glare that the yellow pegasus was giving it, nor could it stop the wave of shame rushing through its being.
“Now you are going to let her go, and don’t let me catch you picking on my friends ever again. Understood?”
The manticore nodded hesitantly, spitting out a small magenta sphere onto the ground before pouting like a hurt puppy.
Fluttershy beamed happily at it. “It’s okay. I’m not mad,” she said calmly as she nuzzled the manticore’s paw. She turned towards Overwatch with a bashful gaze. “Um… if it isn’t too much of a bother, could you please release your magic and let his legs go?”
The unicorn guard let out a sputter, looking fearfully between the giant beast and the demure pegasus flying confidently in front of it. She shot Fluttershy a pleading look, biting her lower lip nervously as she tried to mentally beg the pegasus to drop the request. A few moments passed before Overwatch finally let out her breath and lit her horn. When she had dispelled her bola from the manticore, the unicorn guard separated herself silently from the group, sitting down and staring intently at the moonlit sky.
Fluttershy gave the retreating guard an apologetic smile before she turned back to the manticore, specifically the wound inflicted by Overwatch’s bolt on its paw. She looked back at the group and asked, “Err, does anypony have medical equipment?”
Most of the ponies before her were staring at her with their mouths open, especially Rainbow Dash, who rubbed her eyes with her hooves before continuing to look between Fluttershy and the manticore who was pointedly not mauling her. It took a moment before somepony finally replied.
“I do. I have plenty in my saddlebags, just in case Twilight needed any first aid,” Steel Blade said, his attention flickering towards the bubble of magic on the ground. “I’m assuming you need some?”
Fluttershy nodded, landing and walking calmly towards the guard, who opened his saddlebags to allow her to grab a few bandages with her wing before returning to the manticore. She began patching up the burn, and despite a few whimpers from the beast, it was completely content with the attention.
“Now, I know you’re still hungry, but I don’t have anything on me right now,” Fluttershy said as she finished wrapping her bandage around the manticore’s paw, keeping another draped across her back.
“But...” she said, remembering what she had seen while she was looking through Steel Blade’s saddlebags, “I think I can still give you a little something to keep you happy.” The yellow pegasus trotted back over to Steel Blade and this time produced a trio of chocolate-chip cookies from his bags. “Now, I know it’s not meat or fish, but I hope you’ll like them. I’ll bring some more food next time,” she continued, stroking a hoof through the manticore’s mane as it gobbled up her offered gift.
Fluttershy gave the manticore one final pat on the head, smiling as it purred at her, before she turned her attention to the tiny ball of magic on the ground. She took the other bandage on her back with her wing and lowered her head to ground level, bumping the sphere a few times with her hoof. “It’s okay. You can come out now,” she said soothingly.
A few seconds passed with no reaction, so Fluttershy shook the ball of magic a bit more insistently. “You can stop hiding now. That big scary kitten isn’t going to hurt you anymore,” she said a touch louder, but without losing her gentle tone.
The barrier vanished slowly, and Twilight stood up shakily. She had several bruises and a few bite marks on her saliva-covered body, her expression a strange mixture of fear and disgust.
Fluttershy moved a hoof closer to the mare, who flinched back at the unexpected movement. “Shhh… it’s okay. You’re safe,” she said as she began using her tail to wipe off the worst of the spit.
Twilight gave her a sheepish smile, looking distastefully at the saliva sticking to Fluttershy’s tail. “Aheh… S-sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. I’ve had worse than just a little spittle,” she said, motioning for Steel Blade to come a bit closer. She reached in with a wing and popped out a bottle of antiseptic, uncapping it deftly before sprinkling some onto a few of the bandages and dabbing at Twilight’s open wounds.
“T-thanks…” the tiny mare said, wincing at the contact. “S-so what happened? The last thing I remember was being eaten by a manticore, which is… wait, where’s the manticore? How did you get me out?”
Her eyes suddenly widened as she suddenly noticed the great head of the beast hovering right above Fluttershy’s oblivious head. “W-watch out!”
Twilight charged her horn to protect her savior, but her concentration snapped as soon as the manticore began licking Fluttershy’s laughing face.
“Oh, you're just a cute little kitty, aren’t you?” the yellow pegasus cooed as the manticore gave her a light hug. “Oh yes you are! Yes you are!”
The little mare watched the whole scene speechlessly until the manticore finally released her friend. “H-h-how?” she asked, hardly managing to get even that one word out of her mouth.
Fluttershy simply smiled warmly as she maneuvered the tiny mare onto her back and began trotting back to the group. “I just asked him to release you and showed him a little kindness, that’s all,” she replied.
Twilight stared at the yellow pegasus in disbelief. Just that morning, this pony was treating her like a pet and being annoyingly overprotective, but to think that she would face a manticore to save her, not to mention taming the terrifying beast in a matter of seconds, would be inconceivable if she hadn’t just seen it happen.
***
Steel Blade let out a sigh of relief. Even after running into a manticore, Twilight had come out mostly unharmed in the end, thanks to those few mares from Ponyville. He smiled as Fluttershy walked back to the rest of her friends with his charge in tow, but only a few seconds passed before he realized that there was still something weighing on his mind.
“Overwatch?” he said as he approached the charcoal mare, who still had her back to him. “Are you alright?”
Overwatch took in a deep breath. “Yes… Yeah, I’m doing fine. Why aren’t you looking after Twi? I suspect she needs your company a bit more than I do.”
“She’s doing fine. That yellow pegasus, Fluttershy I believe, seems to have done an admirable job of calming her down,” Steel Blade replied, waving it off. “I’m a bit more concerned about you. What happened back there?”
The unicorn guard finally turned to look at Steel Blade, a melancholic expression on her face. “Just something I thought I got over years ago, though judging by how I froze up like a foal just then, apparently not,” she said caustically as she got up and began to trot back to the rest of the ponies.
“Are you sure you don’t need to talk about it?” Steel Blade asked, giving her a weak smile.
Overwatch let out an amused snort. “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I just needed a little time to myself, but I’m good to go now,” she said, half to herself and half to her comrade.
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it? N-not that I want to pry or anything, but—”
“Remind me later,” the charcoal unicorn said dismissively. “For now, we should get back to Twilight. What happened to the manticore?”
“Ahh, right,” Steel Blade said, suddenly stopping. “Well, umm…”
Overwatch furrowed her brow, turning to look at the pegasus guard intently. “Is this something I should be worried about?”
“Well…” Steel Blade said hesitantly. “Fluttershy may have persuaded it to leave us alone by offering it a few… cookies.”
“Cookies? Where’d she get cook—” Overwatch suddenly stopped in terrible realization, dashing over to Steel Blade’s saddlebags and proceeding to rummage frantically through them. “No no nonono! I can’t believe it! That slimy, traitorous mare did not just—”
“Hey, they got that manticore away from us, didn’t they? And relax,” Steel Blade said, rolling his eyes. “Similar to how I keep emergency medical supplies for Twilight, I also keep emergency cookies for you. They’re in the other bag. Left side.”
Overwatch let out a loud gasp of pleasant surprise, her eyes wide.
“I’m prepared for a lot of crises,” the pegasus guard deadpanned.
The charcoal mare let out a happy squeal as she lunged across Steel Blade’s back to ransack the other saddlebag. She came up moments later with a few cookies that she immediately stuffed into her mouth, a contented smile on her face.
The stallion smiled back at Overwatch before shooing her off with a flutter of his wings. “Alright alright, it’s good to see you back to normal too. Now come on; didn’t you say we should get back to Twilight?”
***
A few quick healing spells later, Twilight ended up surrounded by a group of ponies scolding her for her reckless behaviour, and she was eventually compelled to tell them why she ran into the forest in the first place and what her goal was.
“Ah can’t believe what Ah jus’ heard. You’re telling us tha’ ya' went into the Everfree Forest alone, knowin’ about all the things in there that would love to gulp ya' down fer a midnight snack, just so you can help the monster who fought the princess?” Applejack exclaimed in disbelief.
“Well, wait just a minute, Applejack. Nightmare Moon is Princess Celestia’s sister,” Twilight replied hastily. “Her real name is Luna. If we leave her be, she’s going to go down fighting. Only the Elements of Harmony can purge her hate and anger.”
“But you could get hurt! Or die!” Fluttershy added. “Think of all the friends and family that you’d leave behind.”
“Yes. Princess Celestia and Cadence would be devastated,” Steel Blade added. “Overwatch and I would never forgive ourselves if something happened to you.”
“Not to mention we won’t be able to have your ‘Thanks for Saving Us’ party and we might have a ‘We’ll Miss You, Twilight’ party instead if something really really bad happens to you, and those aren’t very fun parties at all!” Pinkie Pie pointed out.
Twilight shook her head. “But Princess Luna is far more important than I will ever be. She’s—”
“Twilight, you’re the most valuable pony in the world to me!” Spike yelled, fuming. “I couldn’t care less about some princess I’ve never seen or heard about.”
“B-but I can’t just wait and do nothing. Princess Celestia had planned for me to use the Elements against Nightmare Moon before she, well, changed her mind. Knowing her, there must have been a reason why it had to be me,” Twilight said, pausing to take a deep breath. ”It’s completely possible, likely even, that the princess took me in as her student so she could prepare me to save her sister, and I cannot fail her!”
“Woah, hold on a second there,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “I know you think you’re all cool and brave, and you’ve proven that you can take care of yourself, but sometimes you can’t do everything alone. Even the Wonderbolts can only do some things as a team. Trust me, I’ve tried doing some of their stunts solo. It’s not something I’m eager to try again.”
Twilight wanted to reply, but she was cut off by another voice. “For once, Ah agree with Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said. “Ah don’t know what ya’ve been doin’ under the princess, but Ah’m darn sure that goin’ to save Nightmare Moon on yer own is stupid.”
“That’s right!” Rainbow Dash said. “So unless you grow a few meters and tear your way to the Elementawhatsits with your kick flank magic, we’re coming with you,” she continued, crossing her forelegs with a note of finality.
Twilight massaged her forehead with a hoof. Enlarging herself slightly would help her fight off potential threats while still retaining much of her stealth advantage, and the princess could always shrink her again once Luna was safe.
Or after a few years in the dungeon.
She shivered. Would her mentor even shrink her after going against her orders? Or would the princess consider her return to normal size punishment enough for disobeying her?
Twilight shook her head. There were other issues to think about. “Look, I can’t let you all risk your lives to help me. I am Princess Celestia’s protege. I have trained hard under her wing, and it is my royal duty to save her sister or die trying.”
Rainbow Dash scoffed. Unexpectedly, using the tip of her wing, she flipped Twilight up off the ground to land on her nose, glaring at the tiny unicorn intently. “What's your problem? I get that you want to do everything yourself, but you can’t, and you definitely don’t see other ponies as capable of doing anything to help!” Dash berated with a scowl. “You knew that you couldn’t beat a manticore at your current size, but the moment we tried to rescue you—successfully too, if I might add—you thought that you needed to protect us.”
Twilight let out an inaudible squeak as Dash continued to lock her down with a withering gaze. “Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to be protected by a pony who barely goes up to your knee? How disrespecting it is when a pony ten times smaller than you thinks that she needs to protect you? Do you really think that we’re so useless and incompetent that you need to take the punch for us?”
“I… I…”
“Thats right,” Fluttershy said firmly, picking up Twilight from Dash’s nose and setting her on Steel Blade’s back. “Did you think that we would just sit aside when our friend was in danger? Did you consider how we felt when you pushed us away thinking that we couldn’t help you?”
“Friends always look out for each other! No matter how big or small!” said Pinkie Pie with an indomitable smile.
Applejack stepped up next to Rainbow Dash to speak with Twilight. “Ah’ll be completely honest with ya. When Ah first met ya, Ah found out that you’re a tough, forgivin’, and hard workin’ little mare, and—Ahem, wait til Ah’ve finished, sugarcube,” she said, stopping the little unicorn with a hoof when she tried to speak.
Twilight was taken back by the interruption, but nodded to the farm mare and sat back. “After ya' stood up against Nightmare Moon to save everypony, all of Ponyville owed their lives to ya, not to mention the fact Ah have my own debt to pay for how roughly Ah treated ya. Even though Ah’d rather just kick Nightmare Moon back where she came from instead of this whole business with savin’ her, Ah’ll be at yer side til mah last breath.”
“But Applejack, what about your family? I cannot—”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “If you think we’re not good enough for you, then come on; grow back to your normal size, and I’ll show you what Rainbow Danger Dash is capable of,” she said, hopping on her hind hooves as she punched the air in front of her.
“And once our quest is done, the treasure found, the world saved, and Nightmare Moon redeemed, we can throw a great, big ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Nightmare Moon’ party! Or maybe it should be a ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Luna’ party.” Pinkie stopped, tapping a hoof to her chin for a moment before she lit up with an idea. “That’s it! It’ll be a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Nightmare Moon and Luna Sharing One Body’ party! Nah, too long. I’ll think of something.”
“I-I… I will just… tag along,” Rarity said hesitantly, shifting her eyes away from Twilight
“Don’t bother wasting your time trying to get rid of them,” Overwatch said, smiling warmly. “I doubt you can dissuade them from their rather heartfelt commitment to aid you.”
Steel Blade puffed his chest up and beat a hoof against his breastplate. “And don’t you dare leave us behind again!” he shouted, causing Twilight to cover her ears temporarily. “We’re here to protect you, whether you like it or not.”
Spike crossed his arms. “See Twilight? You’re stuck with the rest of us, and whether you decide to stay tiny or return to your original size, we’ll be here to help anyways.”
Applejack nodded, transferring Twilight to her own back. “After everythin’ ya' did for us, we’ll stick with ya' to the ends of the Equestria,” the farm mare said.
Twilight let out a sigh as the group moved on, sitting on Applejack’s back as they made their way to the ruins of the Castle of the Royal Sisters. She never had many problems with cooperating with her mentor or foalsitter. She trusted Spitfire, Soarin’, and many other Wonderbolts with her life on many dangerous exercises or missions during her stint as their medic. Even the snowball war from so many years ago showed the trust she had for her team.
So why had she refused help when up against a powerful beast? Why put her life on the line when there was a way to get everypony out safely? Why had she disobeyed the princess’s orders and ventured into dangerous forest on her own?
Was it because she wanted to prove herself? Had she wanted so badly to be useful to her mentor that she forgot everything she knew about trust and teamwork? Had her self confidence in her own skills made her underestimate the danger she faced as a one kilogram mare? Maybe Dash and Applejack were right about her underestimating others.
Twilight’s ears drooped down slightly. This whole time, I’ve been trying to prove to everypony that they don’t need to worry about me. That I can take care of myself. Today, I was crushed that my mentor didn’t have faith in my abilities, while I showed the same distrust of the abilities of others…
Twilight chuckled, her mood quickly brightening up. Rainbow Dash was right. When a pony the size of a large rat tries to protect you, it is even more embarrassing than being protected when you’re small.
The group of shadows did as their mistress ordered, doing all in their power to scare off everypony who dared intrude upon the old castle ground. One of their attempts to stop a group of ponies from reaching the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters was to infuse themselves with the trees of the Everfree Forest, turning an already dangerous forest full of monsters into a living nightmare. The path flanked by trees looked as if they had been grown in Tartarus.
It was a good effort, but to the shadows’ disappointment, an overly optimistic pink pony sang a song that encouraged the group to keep moving, and one by one, the shadows left the trees as it became clear that they weren’t getting anywhere with this approach.
The entire group walked on a steady pace. Twilight was quietly humming Pinkie Pie’s song as she rested on Applejack before a familiar voice grabbed her attention.
“T-Twilight, can I have a moment of your time, please?”
Twilight turned towards the source of the voice, finding the white unicorn trotting right behind her with an expression of discomfort. “What is it, Rarity?” the tiny mare asked stiffly. “I hope whatever you want to talk about has nothing to do with Canterlot.”
“Oh no, it’s umm… it’s a more personal matter,” Rarity replied hesitantly.
Twilight looked around briefly before turning back to Rarity. “Well, we have several minutes of walking before we reach our destination, and I’m not going anywhere, so I guess we can talk for a moment,” she said cautiously.
“Oh thank you darling! I promise, you’ll not regret it,” Rarity said cheerfully. Twilight gave her a serious stare, and the white unicorn immediately reined herself in and cleared her throat. “What I mean is... umm, I’d like to thank you from depths of my heart for protecting us at Town Hall. I don’t know what dreadful things would have happen to us had you not calmed that monster—”
“It’s Nightmare Moon!”
Rarity stumbled back for just a moment. “E-Excuse me?” she said in confusion.
“First off, her name is Nightmare Moon, though you could probably say that it’s also Princess Luna who had been possessed a thousand years ago. Second, she is not a monster. Under her frightful appearance is a proud soul who cares about her ponies and just wants to be loved and respected,” Twilight lectured with a twinge of annoyance. “But of course, a noble mare such as yourself wouldn’t bother to look beyond appearance.”
Rarity cringed, and Applejack turned her head to intervene. “Ah don’t think you’re bein’ fair, sugarcube. Rarity went with us to help ya' and repay ya' for savin’ us.”
The little unicorn rolled her eyes. “Applejack, your life and the lives of others were never truly in danger. I admit that with the limited information I had, I thought that Nightmare Moon was going to kill everypony or something equally dark and gruesome, but it turns out that she never intended such things, so you girls don’t owe me anything,” Twilight declared.
“She may not have wanted to kill anypony, but she might’ve hurt a few fellas if it weren’t for you, Twilight. Ya' thought she would hurt us, and ya' sacrificed yourself so that we could escape. It was a mighty fine gesture, even if it wasn’t necessary in the end,” Applejack said.
“I know Applejack, and I’m really grateful that you girls not only came to help with Nightmare Moon, but also saved my life from the manticore,” Twilight said with a warm smile. “In the end, I owe you girls a lot more than you owe me.”
Applejack smirked.”Ah don’t wanna hear it. Ah still owe ya' fer the beatin’ Ah gave ya.”
Rainbow Dash flapped a bit closer to add, “And besides, going on an adventure with you is waaaay better than sticking around in Ponyville. It’s a nice place and all, but it’s way too calm and peaceful sometimes.”
“Too calm and peaceful? Well, maybe one day when I’m released from the dungeon that the princess is gonna lock me into, I’ll ask her to shrink you too,” Twilight said with a smirk, giving the pegasus a challenging look. “Trust me, Rainbow Dash, the love of adventure is one of the main reasons why I’m still so small, and I’m never bored.”
“Umm… T-Twilight, dear,” Rarity said hesitantly, drawing Twilight’s attention away from her conversation with Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
“Oh right, I forgot about you for a second. If you don’t mind me asking, why are you even following us? It is, after all, a life threatening mission. Not exactly the perfect place for a pony like you,” Twilight stated.
“Now hold on a second there. Why’re ya' so mean to Rarity? Did somethin’ happen between the two of you?” Applejack asked, cocking an eyebrow at her passenger.
“You could say that, Applejack. I had a rather unpleasant welcome from Rarity,” Twilight stated, eliciting another small twinge from the fashionista.
“If ya' recall correctly, so was mah welcome, Twilight. Ah tried to crush you ‘cause Ah thought you were a prank set up by Rainbow Dash or Pinkie,” Applejack added.
Rainbow Dash let out a gasp of realization. “Wait a second, so Applejack tried to turn you into a pancake... because she thought that you were a prank? Don’t tell me, she thought you were some kinda doll or puppet, and that I was… hahaha!” Rainbow Dash quickly burst into guffaws, much to Applejack’s annoyance. “That's too rich. I would pay anything to see AJ’s face when she found out that you were a real unicorn.”
“Laugh as long as you want, featherbrain,” Spike said with a huff. “Your welcome was no better. You crashed into Twilight and dumped her into the mud. She’s lucky you didn't break any any of her bones.”
Spike looked around at the other ponies with a frown. “Actually, I don’t think any of you girls have endeared yourselves to Twilight at your first meetings. Fluttershy was overprotective to the level of creepiness, and Pinkie Pie’s surprise almost made Twilight deaf.”
Everypony blushed with embarrassment, Fluttershy in particular hiding behind her mane with an eep. Applejack took in a deep breath, putting on a chagrined expression. “We’re all awfully sorry, but ya' don’t seem mind our poor welcomes at all, sugarcube, so why’re ya' so angry at Rarity? Surely she didn’t do anythin’ ya' can’t forgive?” she asked, giving Rarity a curious look. The white mare herself was following silently, looking at the ground with her ears flat against her head.
Twilight shook her head, scratching Applejack’s back with her tiny hooves as if giving a massage. “Applejack, I forgave you because you apologized. Your apology was honest, and you and your family gave me a welcome that more than made up for the original tangle.”
Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash, “The ride on you was enjoyable as well. We’ll have to try it again one day. If I will get the chance, that is,” she said, smirking at the little wink Dash gave her.
She looked at Fluttershy. “I may not like it when other ponies worry about me, but if it wasn’t for you, Fluttershy, I would be a manticore’s snack by now.”
“And Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said, “although it wasn’t really the best time for a party, I really like parties, just… no surprise parties please. My ears can’t take it when everypony screams ‘surprise’ at once, especially if I can’t set up my soundproof barrier in time.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie Pie said as she continued bouncing, the smile never leaving her face.
Twilight let out a sigh, finally turning to the fashionista. “As for you, Rarity, I‘ve already forgiven you for treating me like a rat because I understand that it was a misunderstanding,” she said, bringing a hopeful expression to Rarity.
“However,” Twilight began harshly, “trying to buy my friendship with gifts and false praise just because I’m the princess’s student is not something I can overlook so easily... I... I need some time to think about it.”
I literally just finished the last chapter when this comes when I go back to my favorites tab
well, now I can read two chapters, I guess
i really do enjoy this story its a very very unique story and idea i love it. ^_^
Keep up the good work! ^_^
lawl
"Well... Its not just because you're Princess Celestia's protégé..."
"Then what else is it?"
"You also happen to be the perfect size for the diorama of Ponyville I have set up in my basement!"
I am so glad Spike is tagging along for this. He almost always gets left behind.
I get you were going for some kind of cliffhanger here, but it feels like it cuts out a bit ... sudden
5056599 YES! ALL MY YES! I can totally see Celestia shrinking herself and making Twilight think she grew in her sleep using something like this
Cookies
They always work
5056482
Good to see that the story didn't became boring for you.
5056485
Good luck with the reading, and tell me what you think of the chapter once you're done, if this is okay with you.
5056545
Will do, though it will take a long time before next chapter or chapters will be uploaded.
5056562
?
5056599
If this keeps up, Twilight will end up as Rarity's model for doll clothes.
5056636
Yea. I also noticed that it's not easy to get him into the story, that's why I let him be more involved. He is after all like son of Twilight, and he wouldn't let his tiny mother risk her life without him to stay by her side.
5056646
Lol, that would be quite a prank. Still, how will Celestia explain to Twilight where all ponies dissapeared. Unless she shrink other ponies to play along or she say that zomby apocalipse struck, I do not see it wrking out.
As for cliffhanger, I wasn't aiming for one. I just needed to end the story at one point, and this seemed like a good location.
5056116
As you can see, she did something similar to what she did in the show, however she did it in defense of Applejack. I see no reason to be dissapointed.
5056693
Eeyup.
By it ravaging beast or depressed Overwatch, they always work.
Way to be a bitch, Twilight. Even if I understand where it comes from, Rarity's obviously not a noble. She can forgive potentially putting her life in danger, and Fluttershy's utterly demeaning and de-equinizing treatment. But the girl who is so in love with high culture that she trips over herself trying to imitate it gets spat on even though she faced down a bloodthirsty carnivore for Twilight when she easily could have gone home and said fuck it. (No noble would have done this!)
Tiny Twilight's skull must be incredibly dense. Worst friend ever.
Rarity should -stop- trying to be Twilight's friend and just start ignoring her. Then when she stubbornly does something heroic for the group aside from losing her tail, Twilight can come to her and apologize and ask for forgiveness and friendship. That would redeem her for the crap Twilight's put Rarity through.
Rarity would just be reinforcing the "I'm doing this because you're a political pawn" idea if she keeps trying to apologize and befriend Twilight actively.
5056738
I think you are overreacting. Calling Twilight worst friend ever because of one slip off.
When it comes to nobility, Twilight was always confused why they lie so often, ready to switch from throwing praises into throwing dirt base do it will benefit them or not, not to mention that one of noble houses tried to take over Equestira during her birthday party. It kind of left a scar.
Rarity is not a noble, but the way she acted and because of Blueblood's warnings, Twilight assumed that Rarity is trying to get on her good side with gifts and deception just to win favours of princess's student. I know this way of thinking it a bit swallow, but it is result of Twilight's previous experiencess. I am sure that after hanging around Rarity for a bit, she will see her for the pony she is rather than noble persona she made in her head. Just give her time.
5056787
No, I am not overreacting. I have already stated I understand why Twilight dislikes the whole noble persona due to her background.
Twilight's assumptions should have ended when Rarity came with them in the first place. Is Twilight so remarkably dense that she'd only believe Blueblood's warnings about how nobles curry favor, and thus expect Rarity to be a liar and manipulator - and NO ONE else? Rarity stood up to a manticore, as did the other girls. But Twilight doesn't suspect that they are dishonest. Only Rarity, who has so far been trying to show Twilight that she's better than what Twilight thinks of her. If you don't know what that's like, don't tell me I'm overreacting. It's damned hard, and takes a lot of courage to do, presenting yourself openly vulnerable in the hopes that someone sees there's more to you than they realize. The way you've written the Rarity and Twilight interactions so far has painted a picture of Rarity doing her best to show she's a good person and Twilight essentially kicking her when she's vulnerable and already wounded from their initial meeting.
It doesn't matter what Twilight's previous experiences are in the slightest. That she would continue to treat someone like this who risked her /life/ for her is beyond wrong. Rarity could have died, for Twilight - who has continued to treat Rarity like crap because of her own past. Rarity could have stayed home and washed her hooves of this business. Why stick around to help someone who isn't nice to you? But she did. She had the guts to try and show Twilight there was more to her than it seemed, she had the guts to journey into the monster-infested and haunted forest where she was likely always told to never go into, she had the guts to try and fend off a ravenous pony-eating beast to protect Twilight.
If Twilight can't realize that this is not something a lying cheat of the Canterlotian nobility would do, then it's because she's purposefully blinding herself to what's right in front of her. That's called BIAS, where she is judging Rarity overly harshly due to a familiar and disliked veneer. She's learning to treat the other girls better for what they've done for her, even after two of them actually could have potentially killed her being as strong as they are. But the frou-frou mare who's out in the leaves and dirt and muck and could have died /for/ her is still getting the shaft.
Worst friend. Mind will not be changed until Twilight comes to Rarity to apologize and ask for friendship. Anything less should not be accepted by Rarity. If she does accept anything less, then you'd have written her to be entirely desperate and without a shred of equine pride in her own self-worth, which is psychologically harmful and not a basis for a healthy relationship. This was not a slip, it was consistent with the Twilight and Rarity dynamic present in the story. So until Twilight fixes this, she's being a bitch and unnecessarily mean. Who knew risking your life meant so little?
Fluttershy, you're afraid of you're own shadow. Nopony would expect you to leap into action against a manticore, so don't think that you're able to argue this effectively.
Patience? HAH! You WOUND me, sir.
i loved it just as much as the last one
5056599 reminds me of the story called twilight's dollhouse
Yes this has been amazing since the beginning of this and hope that you guys keep making it.
Let's see. That's Kindness and Laughter already done, and possibly Honesty and Loyalty, though the latter pair are sorta uncertain. Which leaves Generosity and Magic as of yet untested. Hmm....
I get the feeling that there's a third angle in all of this that hasn't quite yet raised its head.
Aye, lad. As do I. Tha' wee touch o' myst'ry is comf'rtin', though, an' it keeps meself deeply intrig'd.
You got a point, Silver. Anyways... looking forward to the next chapter. Stay adorkable, Twiny.
You can never go wrong with cookies! Or cake, or brownies, or any dessert for that matter.
5056866
Indeed, I find myself agreeing with much of what you say - while I understand where Twilight's attitude originates and what subconscious comparisons Rarity's overall self-image might trigger, she's just being deliberately blind and stubborn by this point. Unless she honestly thinks ponies would risk their life for her just to worm their way on to her good side, which is ... I am not sure what the right word is, but it's not one used to describe good qualities.
---
That aside, I have found myself growing increasingly peeved with this story as it goes on (while finding it an absolute delight at the start), and I believe I have finally figured out why - Twilight herself is the reason.
Frankly, she is an irresponsible, selfish brat who is very much used to having things go her way, has absolutely no respect for authority or for the feelings of others if it gets in the way of what she wants to do, and is a quite self-centered individual. In a way, she is no less self-entitled than the nobles she claims to dislike, even if it manifests in different ways. And she constantly gets to get away with it. Frankly, she needs to grow up - in more ways than one.
This was much less apparent while she was spending most of her time in Celestia's room and interacting mostly only with the Princess herself, but now that she is out and about I find myself liking her less and less as time goes on, and the nigh-glorifying of her small size despite all the issues it's causing isn't helping, and it may be close to the point where I actively dislike Twilight - and seeing as she is the main character through whom we follow this story, said dislike is slowly starting to taint the whole lens through which I see the tale as a whole.
Her constant and insincere excuses (because that's exactly what they are) to put in even a sliver of an effort towards functioning at her full size aren't helping matters either, and all the noise about her not being ready and potentially hurting others and similar bla bla started ringing like an empty barrel a long time ago - unless she actually starts putting in some consideration and effort towards said goal (which she probably won't - because hey, why should she? Twiny does what she likes in the end after all, no matter how it might inconvenience or worry others), she never will be.
I believe I have lost all respect for her quite some time ago, and now it's just a ticking time bomb as to how long it takes before said lack of respect turns in to a very much active dislike, because Twilight is doing nothing to earn it back and continues doing everything that caused me to lose it in the first place. It's probably not very far off at this point.
5058270
I voiced similar concerns a bit ago that weren't well-received. If she's so afraid of her full power, she should be spending her time increasing her control and slowly enlarging herself - mastering control at each new benchmark of growth and moving on to the next.
Instead she's using it as an excuse to not better herself at all, because she doesn't want change that she's uncomfortable with at first. She's running away from the real issue and honestly starting to sound like a couple of microfurs I've spoken to in the past. The only reason she has to so pointedly ignore everything she's supposed to be doing or thinking at this point, despite the years that have passed, is either A: Vast personal flaws that literally no one is forcing her to deal with like they should be, or B: Because the story's main 'difference' is that it has a tiny Twilight rather than a sensible Twilight or her struggles in trying to acclimate towards regaining her natural size, even if slowly.
She is literally going to stay small forever. She's even convinced Celestia to do it more and more often. If the trend follows, we're going to see a Tiny Elements of Harmony - heck, she did even suggest it to Rainbow Dash. Twilight says it's a fun challenge. Well Twilight, lives are at risk - yours and others'. When does your FUN stop being more important?
That, aside from her horrid personality, are perhaps my main issues with the story thus far.
5056866 5056787 I'm afraid I have to agree with Aurora here. As much as I like Twilight and agree with her at first with Rarity's encounter, continuing to be so cruel even after obvious proof otherwise is just downright BIAS. Unless Twilight comes to Rarity and apologizes for what she's done and how she's treated her, the 'friendship' they'll have will never be genuine and this story will be a bust.
And I've already met a few disappointing turnout busts on this website this week already, so PLEASE don't ruin this one as well.
5056866
That was my goal. Twilight is obviously in the wrong, but her suspicions of Rarity's motives make her blind to Rarity's attempt to help. Twilight is a bit dense here, but it is because it is her character flaw. Even she cannot be all forgiving, and while when someone crush she by accident, she can say "okay, I am used to it, I won't mind." Her character flaw is that when she is unsure do someone is being honest with her, she fail to see the good in that character.
All I can say is that this will be resolved in next chapter where Twilight will learn her lesson.
Like I said, it is her character flaw that was born from past experience. I do not say that what she is doing is right, even Applejack called her on being unfair to Rarity twice, but Twilight herself need to learn her mistake.
She is worst friend to one pony, but besides Rarity, she never had trouble making frineds with other ponies. All I can say is that she will learn her lesson and appologise in next chapter, but I disagree wtih you calling her worst friend because she screwed up her reaction with one pony. If she was worst friend, she would be mean and ungrateful to everyone, both in Ponyville and Canterlot.
I told you that you are overreactnig, because you called her worst friend base only on her interaction with Rarity, and you complitely disregarded the fact that she got along wtih everypony else just fine. Do not throw Twilight's friendship filled background just because of one large mistake.
5056907
Fluttershy: Oh, right... I'm sorry. Squee
5056940
Well, the reason this chapter was uploaded 1 day after the last one is because my editor thought that the last one was very short, and I should wait with uploading both until they are both done. However next chapter will take weeks to edit, so do not expect any miraculiously quick update anytime soon.
5057101
5057193
We try our best, but it will take a while before next chapter is done.
5057745
I can give you a tip that honesty is done already. I know that Applejack didn't get a chance to be to heroic with her honesty and stuff, but from all main 6, I found her fragment to show honesty the most weak, a bit forced if I may add. I think telling Twilight how stupid her paln is, how much she dislike the idea of helping Nightmare Moon, how grateful everyone's are for protecting them from Nightmare Moon, and how they will stick with her to the end of Equestira, I think that it cover the honesty element just fine. No need to have Twilight fall from the cliff to get honestly done. Also, Twilight would do nice as element of honesty to. When she faced Nightmare Moon, she was to honest for her own good, especially the part with "I will backstab you the moment you are weak." Saying that require strong honesty and guts.
The next one is Rarity of course, and to those who find Twilight being very, very unfair to Rarity, it will be resolved there.
5058046
I bet Pinkie Pie have arsenal of those hidden all over the place... or inside her mane... or in party canon... or in welcoming vagon.
5058181
What do you mean?
5058389 5058270
She grew 10 times her mass in My Little Medic and tried to grow when she was facing Manticore and failed. I am sure she will grow sooner or later, but it needs time to develop. I appologise if her flaws are starting to iritate you.
Still, aside from her childish and selfish behavious, surely you cannot disregard her good side. She was respectful to Granny Smith, patient with fillies form Apple family, and did her best to protect everypony despite knowing that Nightmare Moon would kill or torture her. (growing to face Nightmare Moon would do nothing but make everything worse since she knew that the dark alicorn would overpower her with ease).
While I understand where your iritation towards Twiny come from, I cannot just make Twilight without flaws, or else there would be no place for her to develop.
5058406
Keep in mind that in the show, after Pinkie's laughter trial, there is Rarity's generousity trial. I hoped that everyone will remember that and expect Twilight/Rarity bonding ark in next chapter without me pointing it out in he comments.
5058724
Having character flaws is certainly fine and what makes for a complex character in most cases, but the issue I feel with Twilight is that she doesn't actually have much in terms of positives to counterblanace her flaws - or the flaws are so prominent that they blot out the better properties of her character.
One of the main issues is exactly the way she deals with her shrunken size - and this, being the titular core of the story, shades much of the rest of her. And she isn't approaching it either maturely or diligently - in fact she tries ignoring the issue altogether, or simply pretends that there is no issue with the same half-baked excuses as a retort she has been having for years now, and is basically doing the equivalent of covering her ears and going "A-la-la-la, I can't hear yoouuu!" when the topic of her original size is brought up.
She's being very immature about it and devotes no effort or consideration (and you know this isn't an exaggeration in any way) towards the goal of eventually reclaiming what should be her natural size. Given half a chance she would indeed stay small forever. And since she has the Princess pretty much wrapped around her hoof (and Celestia certainly shares her own part of the blame in this issue for allowing it to drag out, it's not mentally healthy for Twilight), she can continue to ignore the elephant in the room for now.
That aside she is indeed spoiled, pampered and pretty selfish - she doesn't really care to consider the feelings of others much of the time, takes all sorts of irresponsible and ill thought-out actions that constantly land her in troubles that nearly give those around her heart attacks, has absolutely no respect for authority (while at the same time demanding she is taken seriously - something which she honestly doesn't deserve at this point) and expects to have things going her way - because she's used to the fact that the Princess can't say no to her (and look how much drama that caused when she finally did after she wanted to confine Twilight to safety until the Nightmare situation was resolved - Twilight simply isn't used to not getting what she wants. She's pretty bratty like that.)
And she is very, very childish - she treats the whole ordeal (which is to say, her life) as some sort of a big game or adventure, and she hasn't matured much since the time she became Celestia's student all those years ago - there isn't much of a difference between the Twilight as of now and the Twilight back then. Which is fine when your daily concerns consist of playing tag with the Princess and levitating some rocks, but doesn't do her any favors once she's out and about and confronting real people and real issues.
She is willing to be helpful (the usefulness of which is hampered by her continuous refusal to work on being big again - no, attempting to turn big literally once or twice once she has water already flowing in her mouth doesn't count, not any more than being unable to swim making for a good excuse as to why you are going under, while living on the coast of an ocean and finding yourself drowning one day because you never bothered to put in the effort to learn how to swim - that's negligence and irresponsibility given the circumstances) when the situation is going off the rails I guess, so there is that, but that's vastly overshadowed by all of her negative traits and personality quirks.
She isn't a diamond with a few rough spots and blemishes, but overall still beautiful and pleasant to behold - she's a diamond covered in lots of mud and grime with only a few bits shining through that's honestly a bit of an eyesore to look at for too long.
I feel bad for liking how Rarity is getting what she deserves... I just don't like her...
5058978
5058389
5058406
To be honest, I wanted Twilight to have both positive and negative aspects of her character, but from what you say, you focus a lot on the negatives, and I think it is more of personal preferences. Some readers will do not find Twilight's childish way of actnig from time to time to annoying and they like her cheerfulness and willingness to help, but some readers like you focus mostly on this flaw and ruin this story for them.
I cannot do many changes because it would turn the direction this story is taking, so all I can say is that I planned to point some of her flaws in this story, and than use season 1 episode ark for her to overcome those flaws.
While I cannot do much, I changed the ending of this chapter a little (the changed part is in bold):
”
I know it's not much, but I hope that it at least a little bit make her less mean to Rarity. While I am willing to listen to criticism and use pointed advices, there is just as much as I can do. I already wrote 40 chapters in advance that are being edited one at a time, and I cannot do many changes or else I would need to change the direction the story is heading and rewrite tons of chapters.
Awesome chapter, I can't wait to see Rarity proving herself to Twiny when they reach the riverand Steven Magnet, that the possible explaination of why Overwatch is so traumatized of Manticores
5059135 I like that she's so harsh to Rarity. Rarity IS a gold digger. She's mostly sincere about it, but she's still out for royal recognition. She has some development with Blueblood, but that doesn't last. I was looking forward to reading: "Wait, Rarity showered ya with gifts? Wait, let me guess. She wanted to make ya'll lots of frou frou dresses. Ah can relate Twa, that's one of her less endearing traits. Rainbow, back me up here..."
"Can't breathe... too much ruffles. too much Pink... Stupid pink!" "Dashie is catatonic again. Let's draw on her face!" "Why so mean Pinkie?" "She just called my color stupid."
5059537
All I can say is that Overwatch's fear of Manticores is result of her past experience, but since Overwwatch is character that belong to my editor, I will leave him to decide when and where he will expand upon it.
And yea, in next chapter, both Rarity and Rainbow Dash will get their moment.
5065377
I think opinions are divided. Some think that Rarity got what she deserved, while others find Twilight going on her way to harsh. I will have hard time finding a middle ground, because no matter what I write, some readers will get upset either way.
I loved the updates and cannot wait to read more.
P.S: Twiny, stop trying to become Manticore Kibble, Worm Chow and or otherwise some kinda creatures meal
5076049
Hey, she survived being in a cake eaten by Celestia. She can survive anything.
5068384
To soon, really?
5068808
Done.
5076049
Well, it is not like she is doing it on purpouse. It makes me wonder though, how does she taste for those who eaten her?
5077315
I wouldn't say anything. She is still inferior in endurance when compared to alicorns.
5077409 One thing that was missing was: "Oh no! Twilight was eaten! ... Again."
5077993 Yea, but I think there is huge diference between Celestia eating her and a manticore. Not only beast is much larger and have much sharper teeth, Celestia wasn't eager to gulp Twilight while manticore not.
But yea, this line is funny.
5081307
Well, I didn't. Do it is reference to later chatper or something else, can someone explain it to me?
5081453
For Rarity, right?
5081731 Overwatch asked "what's eating you?" Think back a chapter or two.
I caught up... Fuck.
5077409
"I wouldn't say anything..."
Hey, list the number of things she has survived, versus the things she has not.
Until she starts dying as often as Blackjack, I'm just going to assume that Twilight is immortal in this universe. I mean, it took the Royal Canterlot Voice to finally burst her eardrums. If the only thing she's not immune to is alicorns, well, just give this series a couple more seasons...
5082255
Oh, now I get it. Yea, she used poor words considering what happened half year ago.
5085755
Awww, why are you angry?
5085964
Actaully, when leader of the terrorists who attacked during her birthday started to samsh her against a wall, Twilight barely survived thanks to being half pegasus, but the blast of magic nearly finished her off if not for Celestia's interference.
5086112 Cause it is all I have been reading for the past two days and now I have to wait for updates.
5086112
True. Twilight is pretty lucky with how that whole hostage situation turned out.
Touche.
5086112
Because now he has to wait for more awesome Commanderx5 TM content.
more please lol this is good
5077409
Like fur.
5058724 Can you just not release many a chapter and then release a bunch all in one big burst? Plz?
5129204
I would rather say that she went with "Chimi-Cherry-Changa" for several minutes until the guard broke and let her do whatever she want, this or overhelmed him with her energetic personality.
5129334
Well, Nightarem Moon in this story planned to keep the sun from rising temporarly.
5129458
I doubt she would grow batline wings, but I think the eyes transforemd during the night.
5129467
Why? Surely they are not filled with stuff that young readers would find disturbing.
5129522
It all base to how often my editor can log and edit it. I am asking georg to work on Rarity and Dash's trials so I can upload it ealier, but those are not really long chapters, very short actually.
5129655
I don't get it.
5129734
What?
5129845
Isn't there, like, an entire scene in CTS where a manticore brutally eats a bunch of ponies?
5130162
What do you mean. In my story, Manticore eat only Twilight.