Entry #54
If I ever get back to Earth, I will burn Murphy’s grave! And Spit on it too! Of course as soon as it starts to get a little peaceful, this pile of horseapples comes up.
So it’s the Everfree Forest I must go to find if my friend Ashley is in this world, if anything happened to her, I’d never forgive myself, not that never would be a long time as her parents would castrate me in public then put me in a torture chamber only when I’ve broken every body in my body will they give me permission to die.
If Ashley acted anyway like me, chances are she’s found a cave to stay for the night and some food. But the Everfree is very dangerous at night as some of the most lethal monsters are only active at night and some monsters gain power boosts at night time thanks to the moon and that’s not werewolves (Or Wereponies) we’re talking about too.
I remember the first time I was in the Everfree when I arrived in this world…
Over a year ago…
I realized where I must be, I am in the Everfree Forest in My little Pony!
“YEEEEESSSS! IN YOUR FACE BRONIES!! I GOT HERE FIRST SUCKERS!” I yelled in celebration
I was living every brony’s dream: Visiting Equestria. I’ll get to go to Sugercube Corner, the library, Sweet Apple Acres and all the cool places and I’ll meet the Mane Six and all!
Ah, it was exciting back then…until the Pony Transformation started, which was painful to say the least. What? You think you just get a light then poof! A magical bucking pony come out? WRONG! Having pony ears pop out, a tail and you whole body structure to fit a pony is damn painful! Both the bones and organs have to change to pony and that involves going shorter and also gaining wings out of you back isn’t pleasant either.
Soon, Ashley is gonna go through that pain and I ain’t leaving her alone in that time of pain. I owe it to her as my best friend from Earth.
Princess Celestia always had a way of knowing things, whether through her guards, Twilight Sparkle and friends or even just seeing it herself, she can find out many things. But when she stopped for a cake break, she felt something off and not surprisingly, it came from Ponyville.
“Urrrrgghhhh…always on the cake break too! Just once can it be when the boring-flank nobles come along” Celestia let out a frustrated sigh
Clearly, the Universe was not with Celestia either.
“I’ll be back for you later my little cake morsels!” Celestia said as she flew out to Ponyville
Either I’m going nuts or the Everfree Forest rearranged itself, maybe it’s suffers from Peach’s Castle syndrome or something? (For those who do not know what that is, basically if you’ve played the Super Mario series long enough, you’ll know the inside of Peach’s castle changes a lot and I mean every game difference. Though outside it looks the same) Now if I were a human that just got here and ran into the Everfree where would I hide?
You know, it would be nice if I had some magical detection spell or something, typical unicorns and their “Not inventing useful stuff instead making flashy stuff” pile of horseapples. Life would be so much easier then.
Now if only something would give me a sigh
“AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” A female voice screamed out from my left
I wonder if I should close my mouth or open it more often…either way….IMMA COMING ASHLEY!!
“So this is the result of the white light you say?” Celestia asks both Firefly and Twilight
“Yes, your majesty, just appeared in a white light and Bolty’s house from Earth appears” Firefly says
“This is Lightning Bolt’s house?! Is he there now?” Celestia asks
“No your majesty? He went to search for a friend from Earth that could have been here named Ashley” Firefly said
“If it’s his house, then why is this Ashley here then?” Twilight asks
“Bolty said that a letter was found from today and recent, so she may have been caught in it” Firefly explained
“Then, this human must be found” Twilight says
“Not so fast, Twilight. I understand your need to find dear Ashley, but you forget we do not know what she looks like nor what a human even looks like other than they are bipedal and have some resemblance to apes” Celestia explained
“Oh I wouldn’t say we don’t know, the house has plenty of photos in it
The Two Princesses and Firefly went towards the house. Celestia was deeply concerned about these turn of events, what if there were more? What if somepony was planning something to use the human resources against the ponies? Or something bugger than petty villain work is at hand?
“Twilight, I suggest we examine this house with precesion and speed, this may be one piece of a puzzle I do not know yet what it may form” Celestia says
I follow the screams of Ashley which seemed muffled now, did she beat the threat, did she grow a tail? Or did something get her? NO! BAD THOUGHTS! BEGONE!
I followed the direction of her screams when I spotted blue doggish creatures: DIAMOND DOGS! Oh great these smelly hounds again! Do they have some female-capturing fetish or something? NOT WITH MY ASHLEY THEY DON’T! And also, how did I not smell them for a mile away?
I spot two guards guarding some caves, about to be 2 knocked out motherbuckers in 3…2…1…SLAM! THEY DOWN SON!!
Now then, it’s best I go about this quietly, there could be an army in there and without proper magic education yet, it’s old fashioned stealth, better harness my inner Assassin in me, I knew I shouldn’t of left the hidden blade at home.
Alright, let’s go see what the mutts are up to…
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You just HAD to leave it there didn't you.
Yeah?! Well I hope Rover, Fido, and Spot give you a beating! Go Diamond Dogs go!
Why do I support the Diamond Dogs? Well if I were to end up in Equestria, I'd be a Diamond Dog!
You wanna know why? Well I ain't nothing but a hound doggy, barking all the time! I ain't nothing but a hound doggy barking all the time! Well I just caught this rabbit, and since you ain't a friend of mine, I'm going to eat it!
Don't forget that a good HiE story needs blackjack and hookers.
5340922
I am just so evil with these cliffhangers
MOAR!! MOAR!!! MOAR1!! MOAR1!!! MOAR!!!
In all HiE stories I have read, which isn't much, the human either begins his adventure in the Everfree Forest (which is more often than not), Ponyville (which is the least common) or Canterlot. So, chances are a human's first reaction is to wonder 'where the hell am I?'