Human in Pony's clothing

by TheDawsonator1

Entry #28

When you spend as much time as I do in Equestria, you tend to forget stuff like the Internet, a devil in disguise. The Internet can be much like a bad neighborhood, full of untrustworthy people and all those negative types but it’s also a wonderful place.

But our dear Twilight Sparkle does not know the true power of the Internet when harnessed in a negative light, she should count herself lucky in my opinion.

---

Yeah, note to self: Sleeping the Attic of a library is not the best idea and I’ll never do it again. Somehow all the books that Twilight and Spike slept on didn’t get broken or fall over at all, you gotta admit that’s impressive.

Oh yeah, did you know that Twilight snores as well as Spike? Well now you do! Also never sleeping on the floor again, 0/10 would not sleep.

So I noticed Twilight was getting laughed at but she didn’t really realize it, like they say, ignorance is bliss. Anyway, Rarity grabbed Twilight and I and we found ourselves in a classroom, and seriously Rarity? Blonde hair for a purple girl? And here I thought you were fashionable, and besides, Twilight is the only Purple girl in this damn school anyway, well besides Berry Punch sort of.

I gotta say, Sunset Shimmer should do those ads for political campaigns, she actually does them decently. However, I got a huge “fuck you asshole” video from her, god it’s like she’s not taking me seriously.

So yeah, all her friends except Rainbow Dash were here and then Twilight pulls out the yearbook and shows the five friends together and they talk, you know, nothing interesting happening here. Blah Blah Blah what happened to Friendship, blah blah blah Sunset Shimmer is an asshole. Maybe I should see if I can finally beat that level on Angry Birds I could never beat, that one pig has mocked me for the last time! Vengence will be mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

“Lightning….LIGHTNING!” Twilight yelled at me
“What?” I said seeing the others looking at me
“Were you paying any attention?” Twilight asked
“Yeah, Sunset Shimmer broke you girls apart and we’re getting you back, well mostly Twilight, I’m just here for the food and the moral support…and the friendship of course” I said half-heartedly
“Ok then” Twilight said suspiciously

Okay time out again, am I the only brony on this damn planet who has noticed how stupid the falling apart thing was. I mean Sunset Shimmer didn’t even try, all she did was adjust a few things and the rest was history. But it was one misunderstanding of minor value and suddenly they don’t speak to each other. ONE TIME a thing happened which could have been a mistake or could of all been solved if they asked what was going on but instead they fall out. How the fuck does that even happen? It’s not logical at all and everyone in this room should know it! That goes for you readers too! If their friendship was broken over one simple thing than their friendship really doesn’t mean much at all.

To me, friends can do stupid things but they don’t break apart over an incorrect date of a bake sale! If they had just talked things out, they would of realized Sunset Shimmer was behind this and put her in the spotlight, yet it too one fucking Princess from another world with pony counterparts of these human friends to get them back together.

The conclusion: FRIENDSHIP IS BULLSHIT!!! There I said it! Friendship is a load of fucking bullshit in this dimension! Go ahead! Lynch me, you know it’s all true! Even look at the TV show, half of the show at minimum could have been avoided over a simple talk or asking for help or anything along those lines.

---

So, I saw Rainbow Dash join the party and I left to do my own thing for a while and maybe “Accidently” bump into Firefly again, I wonder where Cloud Kicker is? Maybe she’s like her pony self and has sex with all these people? Lucky bastard! I’d be lucky to get one intimate in bed moment with pony Firefly the rate all these cockblocks are coming.

Anyway, she said a Princess needs determination and heart and I gotta agree, I see in schools so many captains and leaders who really don’t give even half a shit about what they do and I can see it in their faces, you can tell which ones put in the effort, the same applies to a Princess, would you want a Princess who doesn’t give a shit running your country? Of course not! They’d have it out on their all-powerful ass a long time ago.

But that’s beside the point, I have a girl to find and maybe I will go have a meatball buffet.

---

Approximately 33x21 square rooted seconds later (Whoever figures that out deserves a cookie and the answer needs to be correct)…

“OMN NOM NOM NOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH HO HO HO! THIS IS DELICIOUS!!!” I said as I ate meatballs

---

I spy with my little eye, something begging with F. It was Firefly, duh! Not that fish in that conveniently placed fish tank over there. Oh right, what was I doing again? Say hi to Firefly before she turns the corner.

“Hey Firefly!” I called out to her
“Oh, hi Lightning” She said back once she realized who I was
“How’s it going?” I asked
“Uh, good I suppose, Fall Formal is tonight and I’m going alone…again” Firefly reflected sadly
“That sucks, no person caught your interest or did they reject you? Cause I don’t get how you wouldn’t have one” I complimented
“Well ever since Sunset Shimmer sabotaged my Princess of Fall Formal attempt last year, everyone’s been avoiding me and laughing at me. You and my friend Cloud Kicker are the only ones who actually talk to me nicely” Firefly looked down as she said that

Sunset Shimmer…you’re dead!

“Bitchset did this?” I asked
“You should really not anger her, Bolty, she has ways of humiliating people” Firefly warned me
“Don’t worry, her days are numbered, she’ll be singing a different tune before the night is done” I said
“And you may want to warn your friend Twilight to quit while she still can, that video was just the beginning” Firefly continued

Gee Firefly, when did you become so negative? Although Negative can mean reality, this isn’t the case here.

“So, since you and I are going alone…I was wondering…do you want to go to the Fall Formal with me?” I asked
“Oh…sure! Why not? Meet you there!” Firefly said

She practically skipped away happy and so did I, in my mind that is. Wouldn’t want to do it in reality in case Bitchset Shimmer is watching me but I think she’s messing the Gym Hall up but it never hurts to be cautious.

“Man, I ain’t seen her happy in a long time there dude” A familiar voice came behind me

A girl of sky blue skin and yellow hair came into my sight as I turned around and I knew at once, it was Cloud Kicker.

“Uh hi, I’m…” I started
“Lightning Bolt, I know, she told me” CK said
“She did?” I asked
“Yeah sure, name’s Cloud Kicker by the way” CK introduced
“Nice to meet you…again” I muttered the last part
“But yeah, she’s been all sad since Sunset Shimmer ruined her life, she’s been crying her eyes out in places, she even almost commited suicide until I caught her in the act” CK explained

Sunset made my Firefly almost commit…suicide? RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Yep, you’re going to have a Slow and painful death that would make horror movies look like a kids show.

“She did what? That Sunset has crossed the line” I said angrily
“She has, just be careful around her, I’ve heard her mutter a few things about a crown and some evil plan” CK warned me
“Thanks, I’ll need to get going, see ya Kicker” I walked off

How can someone be so cruel and make my girlfriend almost commit suicide! This is Unforgivable! But I rest easy knowing she gets a rainbow blast to the face tonight…

Author's Note:

I am probably going to be burnt alive for the Friendship is BS thing, oh well i lived a happy life...

And i will say, some teen suicides sound really stupid but in reality they are serious business. If you're bullying someone/somepony please stop. It's not very friendshippy and Princess Celestia and the mane Six will be displeased.

Comments

[Charedfirescale]

I really don't see the problem with your views.

[Radaint Dawn2477]

awesome story. Why its awesome because you feel like your there with bolt.

[Radaint Dawn2477]

[DontTreadOnMe777777]

Rounded, it's 26 seconds. If you want the precise answer, it's 26.3248931622 seconds exactly.

[BlueWolf Convel]

Yep, you're going to have a Slow and painful death that would make horror movies look like a kids show.

is that even possible

oh well we'll see

[TheDawsonator1]

4911202 I didn't think anyone would actually figure that out, i just typed a random number in for fun. Here's a yummy cookie

[DontTreadOnMe777777]

4911323 Dude, YES! Here's a mustache for you, to make it a trade!

[redtap]

Finally!! I'm not the only one who thinks that!
Dat bitch gonna pay!

[Deathstar47]

I am probably going to be burnt alive for the Friendship is BS thing, oh well i lived a happy life...

I actually agree on what you said about their friendship being stupid. I mean, I've lied to my friends, insulted them, and I've even kicked one of them in the baby maker, but were still cool.

But in MLP FIM world; say you're going to be there at 8:00 and arrive at 8:01 the next thing you know you're archenemies with your friends.

[TheDawsonator1]

4914073 Someone gets it! The humans in Equestria Girls are ten times worse than us with the whole friendship thing, i'm honestly Surprised a world war hasn't broken out yet based on that movie alone. Oh well...

[Frankie2]

I have to agree with your views of friendship in this EqG universe. I can see Lightning running to demon Sunset trying to punch her out yelling 'Leroy Jenkins!'

[reader238]

There is one veritable you forgot to consider with your friendship is BS rant, they are female.

[Miles Skywalker]

Approximately 33x21 square rooted seconds later (Whoever figures that out deserves a cookie and the answer needs to be correct)…

26.3